Unit 1: `Alter Egos`, Lesson 11

ce
su c
e
th
t.
re i
o
f
e
dge brera b
u
r
g
ve k t
t
i
o
u
ne
o monop
oli
ed t
g
se t
a
he I
an
o
ak
e
an
ot
he
r
gl
as
s
s
ho tiou
nu
ie se
c
s
on
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in
y
pt
em
's
e
on
ce
e
su c
of
win
y
e, a
nd excu s e m
in
gl
Two
ct
pe
ex
s
e'
n
o
th
gl
as
s
t
no
gl
e it.
r
o
bef
e
g
b
d
r
u
e
r
a
gr
ve k t
t
i
o
u
ne
o monop
oli
ed t
g
se t
a
n
he I
a
an
ot
he
r
o be so st
e t
ri
on
c
tl
y
c
ak
e
ct
pe
ex
once again
oni
m
sc
Whatevleur
n
r
w
e
om a cien
call
Be
fr
b
eea,u
io
t
i
f
ul
,
s
ho tiou
nu
ie se
c
s
on
t
no
q
Two
once again
oni
m
sc
n
r
w
e
om a cien
call
fr
b
eea,u
t
i
f
ul
,
we
a
g
in
y
pt
em
q
ng
o be so st
e t
ri
on
c
tl
y
c
34
we
ni
I want a man who know
s what love is. All abou
t you are generous, kin
people, who are not lik
d, thoughtful
e you. Admit to being
useless and inferior. Yo
me. For other men I ye
u have ruined
arn! For you I have no
feelings whatsoever. Wh
can be forever happy.
en we’re apart I
Will you let me be?
Yours,
Jill
m
Subject
Dear Jack
a
To
ng
Jill
x delete
ni
From
lay our
s
we
ce
t
n
h
at
generous, kind,
e is all about. You are
lov
at
wh
s
ow
kn
o
wh
erior. You
I want a man
being useless and inf
to
it
m
ad
u
yo
e
lik
t
no
o are
atsoever
thoughtful. People wh
I have no feelings wh
u.
yo
r
fo
n
ar
ye
I
.
en
e for other m
have ruined m
me be yours?
INBOX
ver happy – will you let
re
fo
be
n
ca
I
t.
ar
ap
reply
when we’re
reply all
for ward
so
c
i
et
y
Dear Jack
a
Subject
as
To
bo
dy
From
do
es
T
y.
sa
x delete
Edward Cullen was standing four cars down from me, starin
g at me in horror. His face stood out
from a sea of faces, all frozen in the same mask of shock. But
of more immediate importance was
the dark blue van that was skidding, tyres locked and squea
ling against the brakes, spinning wildly
across the ice of the parking lot. It was going to hit the back
corner of my truck, and I was standing
between them. I didn’t even have time to close my eyes.
Just before I heard the shattering crunch of the van foldin
g around the truck bed, something hit
me, hard, but not from the direction I was expecting. My
head cracked against the icy blacktop, and
I felt something solid and cold pinning me to the ground.
I was lying on the pavement behind Tthe
tan car I’d parked next to. But I didn’t have a chance to notic
e anything else, because the van was
still coming. It had curled gratingly around the end of the
truck and, still spinning and sliding, was
about to collide with me again.
A low oath made me aware that someone was with me, and
the voice was impossible not to
recognise. Two long, white hands shot out protectively in front
of me, and the van shuddered to a
stop a foot from my face, the large hands fitting provident
ially into a deep dent in the side of the
van’s body.
Then his hands moved so fast they blurred. One
was suddenly gripping under the body of the van,
and something was dragging me, swinging my
legs around like a rag doll’s, till they hit the tyre
of the tan car. A groaning metallic thud hurt my
ears, and the van settled, glass popping, onto the
asphalt – exactly where, a second ago, my legs had
been.
It was absolutely silent for one long second
before the screaming began. In the abrupt
bedlam, I could hear more than one person
shouting my name. But more clearly than all the
yelling, I could hear Edward Cullen’s low, frantic
voice in my ear.
ey
th
for ward
Si
lv
reply all
in
g
ny
a
i
n
a
i
n
e
m
g
y
s
b
l
g
u
t
i
n be
ou
ind
Unit
mu 1: Alter egos
who f
t
aut
e
s
na, whe
o
i
p
o
r
e
ful
eo
Th
ir V w
re
a
f
pl
thi
in
,
n y
e
nigts ar
w
g
e co
di
ll
rrupt
n
a
i
Activity 2
e
e
tak
k
;
e
m
a
i
l
b
Read this extract from Twilight, which describeslBella’s close encounter with a car.
he
a
l t
h
l
t
a
bo
e
I saw several things simu,ltaneously. Nothing was moving ak
tin slow motion, the way it does in movies.
ds
Instead, the adrenaline
l
,
rush
seem
ed
to
make
my brain
e work much faster, and I was able to absorb
o
is
in clear detail severhal things at once. t
a
r
he p
ng
hi
yt
er
ev
an
have made me.me Take a l l
ho
so
c
i
et
y
reply
INBOX
a
How does the meaning change in the second email?
as
b
o
dy
Look at the following two emails.
do
es
y.
sa
How can the punctuation alter the sentence’s meaning?
ey
th
A woman without her man is nothing
lay our
s
we
ce
t
n
h
at
ng
hi
yt
er
ev
an
have made me.me Take a l l
ho
in
g
ny
a
i
n
a
i
n
e
m
g
y
s
b
l
g
u
t
i
n be
ou
ind
mu
who f
t
aut
na, whe
o
ifu
pe
r
e
ir V w
re
l t
a
op
f
n
i
h
l
i
,
11 Emphasisinge meaning
n y
nigts ar
w
g
e co
l
di
Learning objective
rruto
n
al
ptemphasise meaning inetheir
Writers use punctuation
i
k
e
writing as well as to clarify and
avoid
; ta
ameambiguity.
l
b
•Understand how writers use lik
e
h
t
a
punctuation to emphasisehmeaning
ll
t
a
bo
e
,
ak
s
t
Activity 1
ld
e,
o
spunctuate
Look at the following sentence.
it?
h How many different ways can you
i
t h e p ra
1 How does Edward manage to save Bella?
2 Why is this moment tense and exciting? Can you identify any punctuation that the author
uses to achieve this?
3 Do you think the author has used punctuation effectively here? Try to explain your reasons.
35
ce
o
gl
as
s
Two
su c
e
th
ak
e
T
What is the impact of this ending on the reader?
t
no
ct
pe
ex
o be so st
e t
ri
on
c
tl
y
c
Punctuation is essential to meaning, helping to add emphasis to certain points in the text. It can mimic the
movement described in the text; create tension and drama; add pathos; highlight humour; create tone, and
numerous other things. It is absolutely essential to writing!
an
ot
he
r
s
ho tiou
nu
ie se
c
s
on
t.
re i
o
f
e
dge brera b
u
r
g
ve k t
t
i
o
u
ne
o monop
oli
ed t
g
se t
a
he I
an
in
g
in
y
pt
em
's
e
on
gl
of
win
y
e, a
nd excu s e m
ce
su c
e
gl
as
s
in
q
a
s
e'
n
o
th
an
ot
he
r
o be so st
e t
ri
on
c
tl
y
c
we
once again
oni
m
sc
Whatevleur
n
r
w
e
om a cien
call
Be
fr
b
eea,u
io
t
i
f
ul
,
ak
e
y.
sa
ct
pe
ex
e it.
r
o
bef
e
g
b
d
r
u
e
r
a
gr
ve k t
t
i
o
u
ne
o monop
oli
ed t
g
se t
a
n
he I
a
t
no
ng
s
ho tiou
nu
ie se
c
s
on
once again
oni
m
sc
n
r
w
e
om a cien
call
fr
b
eea,u
t
i
f
ul
,
ni
g
in
y
pt
em
q
m
Two
we
a
gl
ng
do
es
ey
th
y.
sa
T
ni
lay our
s
we
ce
t
n
h
at
so
c
i
et
y
bo
dy
Si
lv
Then he took my hand in his and grinned bloodthirstily. ‘Let us go eat.’
I took a deep breath and tried not to think about what might be on the menu. I
nodded nervously and squeezed his hand. We turned and faced away from the graves.
Then, side by side, the vampire and his assistant, we began walking…
… into the night.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Can you find any more examples of phrases which use parenthetical commas? What effect do you think they have on the
writing? Is the extra detail that is added important?
How can I use punctuation to emphasise meaning in my writing?
a
a
b
o
dy
do
es
ey
th
It had curled gratingly around the curve of the truck and, still spinning and sliding, was about
to collide with me again.
as
as
in
g
ny
a
i
n
a
i
n
e
m
g
y
s
b
l
g
u
t
i
n be
ou
ind
Unit
mu 1: Alter egos
who f
t
aut
e
s
na, whe
o
i
p
o
r
e
ful
eo
Th
ir V w
re
a
f
pl
thi
in
,
n y
e
nigts ar
w
g
e co
di
ll
rrupt
n
a
i
e
tak
ke
;
e
m
a
i
l
b
l keep my reader engaged? the
How can I use punctuationato
h
ll
t
a
o
Punctuation is used by writers
b to engage the reader, keeping themkeinvolved in the text. Ellipses (…) can be used
,
to show gaps in a text
which
can keep the reader guessing, inviting
s
ta them to fill in the gaps.
d
,
ol
se It is the ending to Cirque du Freak, describing how
Look at how anhellipsis has been used in the following
text.
i
t h e p ra
Darren walks off with the vampire, Mr Crepsley.
ng
hi
yt
er
ev
an
have made me.me Take a l l
ho
so
c
i
et
y
lay our
s
we
ce
t
n
h
at
ng
hi
yt
er
ev
an
have made me.me Take a l l
ho
in
g
ny
a
i
n
a
i
n
e
m
g
y
s
b
l
g
u
t
i
n be
o
ind
mu
who f11 Emphasising umeaning
t
aut
na, whe
o
ifu
pe
r
e
ir V w
re
l t
a
op
f
hin y, in
le
gt
w
gni s are
i
d
corr
ll
WRITER’S WORKSHOP: Clever
punctuation
upt
a
in
e
tak
ke
;
e
m
a
i
l
b
he
al
l t
h
l
a
ot
e
How can I use punctuation bto clarify?
k
s,detail. The writer uses parenthetical commas
ta (instead of brackets) to slot in extra
d
It can be used to add additional
l
,
sbee removed. For example:
information and the information
within the commas can always
ho
i
t h e p ra
Ellipses can be used to great effect, but can lose their effect if they are overused. Do you think punctuation has
been used effectively here?
Look at the sentence below and consider how the writer has used punctuation to create tension. What, for
example, is the effect of the dash?
A groaning metallic thud hurt my ears, and the van settled, glass popping, onto the
asphalt – exactly where, a second ago, my legs had been.
Activity 3
What do better
writers do?
1 Look at the piece of writing that you completed in the last lesson. Have you used
punctuation to emphasise meaning and heighten the tension?
2 Edit your piece, paying particular attention to your use of punctuation and the impact that
you want it to have on the reader.
Better writers use
punctuation in
their writing to aid
understanding and to
emphasise meaning, for
example, to heighten the
drama and tension of
their narrative.
CHECK YOUR WRITING
Look back at the piece that you edited in Activity 3 and consider which column best describes your use of punctuation.
36
Level 3
Level 4
Level 5
I used straightforward punctuation
such as full stops, capital letters,
question marks, commas and
exclamation marks in my writing which
begin to clarify its meaning.
I accurately demarcated sentences. I
used most punctuation accurately and
used it to emphasise some points in my
writing.
I used a range of punctuation, although
I sometimes made errors with difficult
structures. I used it to emphasise
meaning and created tension in my
writing.
37