Magazine

Transcription

Magazine

DIGITAL MAGAZINE
JANUARY 2015
FIRST
IMPRESSIONS
UNCHARTED 4:
A THIEF’S END
Page 24
FRAMED:
MOVIE TRAILERS
THE WALK
SAN ANDREAS
MAX MAX: FURY ROAD
VERSUS
TARA VS PIPER
Contents
FEATURES
24
The Walk
San Andreas
Mad Max: Fury Road
THE MOST ANTICIPATED
MOVIES OF 2015
THE RISE AND FALL OF
THE GALACTIC EMPIRE
Was the Deathstar the answer to a
sustainable empire?
THE MANY VOICES OF
MARK HAMILL
COVER STORY
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
UNCHARTED 4: A THIEF’S END
First impressions of the recently released trailer for the fourth chapter in
the Uncharted game series.
DEPARTMENTS
04
24
24
31
04
09
10
16
FRAMED: TRAILERS
MOVIES/TV
COVER STORY
VIDEO GAMES
COMICS
18
22
28
31
VERSUS
TARA VS PIPER:
A Fight to the Death!
MASHUP OF THE MONTH
Orange is the New Black
in the style of Powerpuff Girls
GAME REVIEW:
SHADOWS OF MORDOR (PS3)
Lament of a Man Stuck in Last Gen
ARTZEE FARTZEE
by Troy G
EDITOR, CREATOR
Peter Woodward
WRITERS
Dexter Babin
Austin Beattie
Troy Grzych
Peter Woodward
PHOTOGRAPHER
Kristy Holt
DESIGNER
Peter Woodward
Letter from the Editor
I hope you got a chance to read our first issue of NERDT magazine last month. We have
been working hard on getting these articles written and designed. I am so proud of our
team for the hard work they have all put into this project. I just want to thank everyone
for their dedication to making this magazine happen. Most of all I want to thank you,
our readers, for giving us a reason to make this magazine great!
Sincerely,
Peter Woodward
Movies+TV
FRAMED:
MOVIE TRAILERS
by troy g
I could spoon feed you the same old mushy meal that is your standard movie trailer review. I could go into depth and detail describing tidbits that you could simply see for yourself by watching it
countless times in heavy rotation on YouTube until you’ve cooked
your noodle and seared every nugget of footage into your corneas...
but that’s not what FRAMED is. A trailer is a tease, a glimpse, a
snapshot of what the movie is and what it could be and FRAMED
is exactly that. It’s about finding that one single shot, one moment,
one individual FRAME that lingers with you and propels you to zip
over to the nearest multiplex with Mike n’ Ikes and a large diet soda
in tow and form a line a year in advance of the film’s release.
a most violent year
December 31, 2014
Oscar Issac seems to be doing his best young Al Pacino impression in the
A Most Violent Year trailer. I don’t mean that in a bad way. His character
seems to inherit some of the same problems a young Al Pacino did in the
first Godfather film. Issac’s character is an honest man that is caught up in
a dishonest business. What is not known yet, is if Issac’s character will be
morally debased by his business like Michael Corleone in The Godfather:
Part II, or he will be able to walk the line between legitimacy and corruption and remain an honest man.
THIS MONTH
IN THEATERS
JANUARY 2015
Wednesday, December 31
A Most Violent Year (Drama)
Thursday, January 1
The Gambler (Drama)
the walk (2015)
O
pening on October
2, 2015, The Walk is
a Robert Zemeckis
bio flick about highwire walker Philippe Petit and
his historic 1974 tightrope walk
between the still under construction Twin Towers in New York.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt stars as the
daredevil Philippe Petit. In this
trailer, the camera speeds up the
side of the Twin Towers to reveal Philippe standing at the top
staring across the void. It is simply breathtaking and definitely
plays with one’s sense of vertigo. This FRAME illustrates the
sheer power and emotion of seeing these buildings. Knowing the
tragic events that will transpire
several decades later only adds to
the overall weight and grandeur. I
look forward to seeing the special
effects in this movie. Seeing how
they handle the recreation of the
Source: YouTube
towers and the tightrope event
in particular is reason enough to
see it for me. However, there is
a second FRAME in this trailer
worth talking about, a FRAME
so completely amazing that it almost…almost got picked as the
main FRAME in this review. As a
rather massive fan of what is only
the best trilogy ever made about a
time traveling teenager in a beautiful stainless steel work of art, I
got extremely excited when early
in the trailer the camera races up
the side of the building and a title
card zooms by that reads “Director of Back To The Future.” Anything about that flick excites me.
I know it’s a long shot but fingers crossed, here’s hoping I see
a cameo of Doc Brown or Marty
trying to warn Phillipe about the
future. Don’t laugh, it could happen…here’s to wishful thinking.
Friday, January 2
The Woman in Black 2 (Drama)
Friday, January 9
Selma (Drama)
Taken 3 (Action)
Predestination (Thriller)
Friday, January 16
The Wedding Ringer (Comedy)
Paddington (Adventure)
Blackhat (Thriller)
American Sniper (Drama)
Still Alice (Drama)
Son of a Gun (Thriller)
Escobar: Paradise Lost (Thriller)
Spare Parts (Adventure)
Friday, January 23
The Boy Next Door (Suspense)
Black Sea (Adventure)
Strange Magic (Musical)
Mortdecai (Crime)
Black or White (Drama)
Red Army (Documentary)
Against the Sun (Action)
The Loft (Thriller)
Friday, January 30
Project Almanac (Thriller)
Coming Home (Drama)
Sources:
MovieInsider.com, IMDB.com
Movies+TV
SAN ANDREAS (2015)
O
kay, so let’s face it.
San Andreas looks
like nothing more
than your typical
natural disaster/destruction
flick but with better special
effects than you’d see on a
SYFY Channel movie of the
week. From Towing Inferno
in the 70’s to 2012 the formula is well in place. Gather
a large group of individuals with no seemingly relation to each other, throw in
a whole lot of destruction
of national and iconic landmarks, and then see how all
of the said characters eventually link up before they are
tragically killed off one by
one till your main hero/heroine and their love interest
or child survives. With that
6 NERDT DECEMBER 2014
said, I do like disaster movies
as long as the special effects
are spectacular. I want to say,
“WOW! I’ve never seen that
building blow up quite like
that before” or after a large
booming explosion I utter,
“HOLY SHHHHH!” This
trailer seems to deliver on
all these accounts for me. It
gives you enough short fast
paced shots of collapsing
buildings and heroic poses
from Dwayne “The Rock”
Johnson to fill out this teaser
trailer. Now I know that San
Andreas will never win an
Oscar nor enter my top 20
flicks of all time, but when I
eventually see it, and I most
likely will, (probably when it
comes out on cable) it will be
because of one FRAME. The
shot of the helicopter rac-
Source: YouTube
ing through a crumbling Los
Angeles as buildings collapse
narrowly missing its crew.
This FRAME is definitely
reminiscent of an almost exact situation in 2012 when
John Cusack flies a plane
thru a city as buildings rain
down upon it. Even though
it’s a copycat moment, it gets
my heart pumping and eager
to see San Andreas…eventually…someday. The film
opens May 29, 2015.
Movies+TV
mad max: fury road (2015)
I
’ve never really been one for
post-apocalyptic movies. For
me, they tend to suffer from
the Triple Ds. Not to be confused with Double Ds which is
something completely different altogether, the Triple Ds are “Dirty,
Depressing and Downbeat.” They
leave me feeling worse about the
future of mankind and myself than
before I did when I entered the theater. There are exceptions to this,
however. Flicks that I like despite
the D’s tend to be those films that
involve a “Lone Wolf,” a “Last Man
on Earth,” or some sort of “Time
Travel” scenario. Mad Max: Fury
Road stars Tom Hardy (taking over
the title role from Mel Gibson who
lead the three previous outings),
Charlize Theron, and Nicholas
Hoult in what appears to be one
maddeningly, chaotic, fast-paced,
action thunderbolt through the
typical Mad Max near-future landscape that we are already familiar.
For me, Mad Max films definitely
fall under the category of “Lone
Wolf.” What Fury Road also has
going for it is my lingering nostalgic feelings for Beyond the Thunderdome which is definitely a classic 80’s flick I grew up watching.
Initially, my main reason for wanting to see this movie is to see if Tom
Hardy can do the character justice
after the iconic performance of
Mr. Gibson, but after several viewings of this two minute plus trailer
Source: YouTube
the one FRAME that keeps catching my eye is a quick glimpse of
what appears to be the main villain of the movie. The pale-faced,
long white-haired character with
his demonic-looking toothy mask
is what nightmares are made of.
For this character alone, I want to
see more. We will definitely see if
there is more to this character and
the future of Mad Max films when
Mad Max: Fury Road opens in theaters May 15, 2015.
blackhat
January 16, 2015
When Michael Mann releases a movie, it renews my faith in cinema. It’s been six
years since his last film, Public Enemies (2009), has come out. In the Blackhat trailer,
Mann takes his familiar cops and robbers story and brings it into the digital age. It
looks like it’s going to be Heat (1995), but on the internet. Chris Hemsworth plays
a computer hacker who is released from prison to help both the American and
Chinese authorities track down a computer criminal. With this premise, you would
assume that this film would be void of any action sequences, but the trailer showcases what Michael Mann does best: shootouts. See for yourself on the 16th.
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r-10. KINGSMAN:
THE SECRET SERVICE
esign
irts
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r- 9. JUPITER ASCENDING
esign
irts
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resign
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7. MAX MAX: FURY ROAD
r-
Colin Firth is training youths to
fight youths trained by Samuel L.
Jackson. That sounds so weird I’ve
got see it.
I shouldn’t want to see this. The
Wachowski siblings have done me
wrong before. But this scifi oddball
looks stylish as Hell.
This third installment in the Neil
Blomkamp hates you because you
hate science and the future series
looks endearing and heart felt.
Sharlto Copley plays a robot who
learns human emotion over time.
Bring your tissues.
British tough guy, Tom Hardy, will
be adopting the Aussie bad ass of
Generation X? Sign me up.
6. the jungle book
They are remaking Jungle Book. They
are remaking Jungle Book. Do I need
to explain further?
3. jurassic world
Please don’t suck. Please don’t suck.
Please don’t suck. Please don’t suck.
2. avengers 2: age of ultron
5. crimson peak
Guillermo Del Torro is making a
movie. That is all I have to say about
that.
4. the hateful eight
Quentin Tarantino’s upcoming
Western is still a mystery in what
we can anticipate, but hopefully
it’s just as good as Django Unchained if not better.
Did anyone else get chills watching
this trailer? I did and still can’t watch
Pinocchio because of it. Not that I could
before, but still.
1. star wars vii:
the force awakens
What else would be #1? Terminator Genisys? Don’t make me laugh. This movie has
a lot of hype surrounding it and after the
trailer, it’s only growing larger. Hopefully,
JJ. Abrams uses his world building skills
to the best of his abilities here.
DECEMBER 2014 NERDT 9
by dexter babin
I was re-watching episodes iv-vi and found myself wondering if the galactic
empire had truly found the answer to the sustainability of an empire:
the death star.
I
miss Star Wars. I miss liking
Star Wars, talking about Star
Wars, and having nerd freakouts in public arguing who
would win in a fight: Jawas or
Ewoks? (The answer obviously
being Boba Fett).
With the upcoming release of
a new trilogy, which has filled
me with a very cautious optimism, I’ve started to see Star
Wars in an historical/political
perspective.
I was re-watching Episodes
IV-VI the other day and found
myself wondering if the Galactic Empire had truly found the
answer to the sustainability of
an empire: THE DEATH STAR.
From the Romans to the British,
every great empire in the history of mankind has fallen. While
every empire has fallen for a
multitude of reasons, usually
overexertion of the military and
the exhaustion of the imperial
economy is a common one.
With the Roman Empire for
example, their answer to a
problem was usually just throwing enough troops at the problem until it went away. While
effective, this way of thinking
obviously has its downfalls. You
can see this kind of strategy
mirrored in The Clone Wars,
with both the Trade Federation
and the Galactic Republic both
basically having a renewable
resource of cannon fodder.
NAVY VS ARMY:
DOWNFALL OF AN EMPIRE?
D
id inter-service rivalry contribute to
the downfall of the
Galactic Empire? After World War II, the
newly organized U.S. Air Force
argued that because of nuclear
weapons and the advancements
in bombing technology, both
the Marines and the Navy were
obsolete.
Secretary of Defense Louis A.
Johnson met with Admiral Richard L. Connolly in 1949 and had
a discussion about the future of
the navy:
“The Navy is on its way out.
There’s no reason for having
a Navy and a Marine Corps.
General Bradley tells me amphibious operations are a thing
of the past. We’ll never have any
more amphibious operations.
That does away with the Marine
Corps. And the Air Force can do
anything the Navy can do, so
that does away with the Navy.“
Surely political rivalries existed
and continue to exist in the U.S.
military, but no way such pettiness could be tolerated in the
Galactic Empire, right?
The first instance we see any of
the Imperial High Command,
they are bickering. In the infamous scene in A New Hope,
High Commander of the Army
Cassio Tagge and Admiral Antonio Motti, who is later choked by
A large army of
stormtroopers and
AT-ATs would be
redundant after you
have a battle station
that has the ability
to blow up a planet.
Vader because of his disturbing
lack of faith, are both arguing
over the strategic vulnerability
of the Death Star. The stakes are
high for both officers. For Motti,
who is an officer in the Imperial Navy, the Death Star is the
chance for the Navy to be the
dominate branch of the Imperial
Armed Forces.
Besides the rest of the galaxy,
the Death Star is also a threat
to High Commander Tagge,
because a large army of stormtroopers and AT-ATs would
be redundant after you have a
battle station that has the ability to blow up a planet. Surely
the Imperial Army would still
exist, but both manpower and
resources would be redirected
from the Army to the Navy to
support this new super weapon.
This may explain why stormtroopers are such poor shots,
and Jedi mind tricks aside, how
Luke, Obi Wan, C3PO, and
R2D2 are able to avoid Imperial detection for the majority of
the time they are on Tattoine.
Either the stormtroopers are not
motivated to find the missing
plans for the Death Star, or the
before mentioned funneling of
resources from the Army to the
Navy has already occurred and
they are just poorly trained or
possess faulty equipment.
THE DEATH STAR, THE TARKIN
DOCTRINE, AND THE
MADMAN RICHARD NIXON
L
ets go back to the Death
Star itself. The purpose
of this moon-sized space
station is to enforce the
Tarkin Doctrine, named
after Gran Moff Wilhuff Tarkin.
The Tarkin Doctrine states that
the most effective way to keep
all the planets in line is with
the fear of force rather than an
act of force. That is what the
Death Star was envisioned as,
a symbol: a reminder for the
planets to bend to the will of
the Empire. But not only does
the Death Star need to exist
to strike fear into the hearts of
citizens across the galaxy, but
they must believe the Empire is
willing to use it as well. That’s
probably why, despite Princess
Leia’s pleas that the location
of the secret rebel base is on
Dantooine, Gran Moff Tarkin
destroys her home planet of
Alderaan anyway.
In a way, the Tarkin Doctrine is a
galactic spin of President Richard Nixon’s Madman Theory. In
October 1969, the United States
military was ordered to full
global readiness alert. As a part
of this strategy, three bombers
were armed with nuclear weapons and made flight patterns
near Soviet airspace for three
straight days. This was an obvious indication to let the Soviet
Union know that the madman
Richard Nixon was loose.
Though Nixon’s planes headed
straight for Moscow, his goal
was to end the war in Vietnam.
Nixon’s reasoning was that if the
Soviet Union thought that Nixon
was crazy enough to launch a
nuclear strike on Moscow, that
the Vietnam War was getting
out of hand, and the Soviet
Union would force Hanoi to
return to the Paris peace talks or
risk losing Soviet support.
Nixon also furthered his madman theory by increasing bombing runs on the North Vietnamese.
I call it the Madman Theory,
Bob. I want the North Vietnamese to believe I’ve reached the
point where I might do anything
to stop the war. We’ll just slip
the word to them that, “for
God’s sake, you know Nixon is
obsessed about communism.
We can’t restrain him when he’s
angry—and he has his hand on
the nuclear button” and Ho Chi
Minh himself will be in Paris in
two days begging for peace.
- President Nixon explaining
The Madman Theory to Chief of
Staff H.R. Haldeman.
The Tarkin Doctrine
states that the most
effective way to keep
all the planets in
line is with the fear
of force rather than
an act of force.
But was Nixon really prepared to
launch nuclear weapons? Unlikely. It is more believable that
he was just trying to frighten
both the Soviet Union and North
Vietnam into peace by threat-
ening to unleash a devastating
weapon a hundred times more
powerful than the one that was
dropped on both Hiroshima and
Nagasaki. In the end, Nixon’s
madman theory didn’t work. It
turns out that the North Vietnamese were willing to accept
far more greater casualties than
Nixon had calculated.
Nixon’s bombings eventually
crossed international borders,
with Laos and Cambodia being
heavily bombed. Instead of the
further fear of force causing the
Vietnamese to surrender, it just
radicalized them as anti-American sentiment spread throughout the region.
This is similar to the Tarkin
Doctrine. In a way, the Emperor
has to be seen by the public as
a madman to destroy an entire
planet over the actions of a
few. But unlike Nixon’s Madman
Theory, the Tarkin Doctrine was
mildly successful.
In A New Hope, after the destruction of Alderran, and the
near destruction of Yavin IV, The
Empire Strikes Back begins with
the rebels retreating to Hoth, an
uninhabited frozen world.
Now, the rebels could have
gone here just to keep their
base even more of a secret
from the Empire, but why would
they pick such a hostile planet
on which to hide? Is it because
after the destruction of Alderran, and the near destruction of
Yavin IV, that every other planet
was afraid to take the rebels in,
even after the destruction of the
Death Star?
But there are flaws in the Tarkin Doctrine. In order to keep
the galaxy on its knees, planets
must be destroyed. Besides
the human cost, which I’m sure
wasn’t an issue, there is a financial cost at stake as well.
I’m not sure how the financial
system of the Galactic Empire
operates, but I’m sure Alderran
was paying some kind of tax to
the Empire, either in credits or
in natural resources.
So every time you destroy a
planet, you destroy a source of
income. Now, depending on the
value of a planet, its destruction
may be worth the cost to avoid
a more costly war later if the
influence of the rebel alliance
spread.
Perhaps the largest flaw of the
Tarkin Doctrine is that it had
an opposite effect of its intention. The destruction of Alderran may have caused planets
to hesitate to give the Rebel
Alliance sanctuary, but it did not
destroy the alliance. If anything
it only strengthened their cause
that the Empire would destroy
a peaceful and innocent planet
such as Alderran.
THE GALACTIC EMPIRE:
DOOMED FROM THE START?
I
n his book The Rise and Fall
of the Great Powers, Dr. Paul
Kennedy says:
“Great powers in relative
decline instinctively respond by
spending more on “security”,
and thereby divert potential
resources from “investment”
and compound their long term
dilemma.”
Earlier last year a White House
petition was started for the construction of a Death Star by the
United States. In a response, the
government estimated that it
would cost $852 quadrillion dollars to build a Death Star; their
source probably being this study
done at Lehigh University.
I’m not sure of the exchange
rate between USD and Galactic
Credits, but I think it’s safe to
say that a Death Star is one hell
of an investment. An investment
that could have been redirected
elsewhere.
Since the construction of the
Death Star began at the end of
Revenge of the Sith, it wouldn’t
be fair to say that it was built
when the Empire started to
decline, but rather at its birth.
Unless the Galactic Empire was
failed to doom at its inception.
The Empire not only survived,
but remained prosperous during the years between the end
of Revenge of the Sith and the
start of A New Hope, despite
the majority of the galaxy not
knowing the Death Star existed.
The Empire was still able to
force the planets to step into
line without blowing them up.
Ok, Emperor, so your Death
Star blows up. You’ve lost quadrillions, along with the untold
amount of men who were stationed on the Death Star. What’s
your next plan? Build another
freakin’ Death Star. Not only are
you going to waste more money
on a another Death Star, but
you’re going to try to destroy
the rebel fleet by luring them towards your battle station, which
safety depends on the same
fleet that couldn’t protect your
first Death Star?
Now it’s obvious that the construction of the second Death
Star was the direct cause of the
fall of the Galactic Empire, and it
was all done because of “security”.
Instead of spending an untold
fortune on the construction of a
second Death Star, the Empire
should have trained its army to
repel an attack from a cuddly
horde of teddy bears.
UN-EROTIC ASPHYXIATION
Darth Vader chokes people.
That’s what he does. Though it
is particularity bad ass, it’s not
the best way to manage people.
If the consequence for making
a mistake or questioning the
orders of your superior is death,
then you tend not to do it.
For example, in Empire Strikes
Back, the Empire is about to
descend upon on the Hoth system for a surprise attack on the
hidden rebel base. Admiral Ozzel brings the Imperial Fleet out
of light-speed too close, so the
rebels were able to detect the
Imperial attack and prepare their
defenses. Alerted by a General
that the fleet has come out of
light speed, and that the rebels
have an energy shield surrounding the planet; Vader decides
this is the Navy’s fault, skypes
with Admiral Ozzel, and then
force chokes him to death.
He then tells Ozzel’s second in
command, Captain Piett, that he
is now Admiral Piett, and given
command of the fleet.
Vader’s promotion of Piett is
probably what led to the rebels
escaping Hoth. Not only was
Piett thrown into a new lead-
ership position right before a
major battle, but everyone down
the line was as well. This could
have thrown the Imperial Fleet
into chaos, as nobody had any
idea who was in charge. Also, if
the only way to get a promotion
in the Empire is for your boss to
make a mistake and get killed,
then its in your best interest for
your boss to make a mistake.
CONCLUSION
So like The Decline and Fall of
the Roman Empire (The masterful work by Edward Gibbon,
whose title I ripped off for this
article), the Galactic Empire
also had a decline and fall. And
much like the Roman Empire,
the Galactic Empire fell for a
multitude of reasons.
Inter-service rivalry, sexism and
xenophobia in the armed forces,
poor leadership, insane domestic policy, and lastly the Death
Star all lead to the downfall of
the Galactic Empire. I would say
that the Empire only lasted only
23 years, but the Empire doesn’t
necessarily die with Palpatine
and Vader. There are plenty of
Moffs, Generals, and Admirals
that can all decide that they
are the rightful heirs to the
Empire, and throw the galaxy
into a civil war within a civil
war as the remains of the Empire turn on itself.
Movies+TV
best of 2014
1. the grand
budapest hotel
This movie was simply a delight.
Wes Anderson outdid himself with
the quirky romp. Ralph Fienes is
amazing and with an near endless
list of cameos this one was a delight.
best of 2014
2. guardians of
the galaxy
Who knew that Andy from Parks and
Recreation and the guy who wrote the
live action Scooby Doo movie could make
such an awesome film? This one was a
surprise hit and I have yet met a person
who didn’t enjoy this oddball motion
picture. It made me laugh, it made me
cry, it left me wanting more.
best of 2014
3. gone girl
David Fincher is the master of
atmosphere. His movies all have
that dream like quality to them and
Gone Girl did not fail to deliver.
Ben Affleck was a great choice for
the lead, and if Rosamund Pike
does not get an Oscar for her performance I will be disappointed.
THE BEST AND WORST MOVIES OF 2014
by Austin Beattie
WORST of 2014
1. NEIGHBORS
The Seth Rogan charm has
officially worn off for me. This
comedy was too much for my
patience. Zac Efron wasn’t bad in
it, but Seth Rogan and Rose Burn
were some of the most unfunny
and worst parents on film to date,
and that I can’t forgive.
WORST of 2014
2. HERCULES
(BOTH OF THEM)
Who green lit this shit? Two Hercules movies. One worse than the
last. Seriously, the Rock’s version
was campy and stupid. And the
other one with Twilight dude was
an abomination. Disney’s Hercules
is still champ!
WORST of 2014
3. left behind
Only Nick Cage could make a Kirk
Cameron movie worse. This movie
is filmed terrible and acted worse.
Go watch this one just to see how
bad it is. Trust me. It’s worth the
sweet pain.
ALVIN
DREAMWORKS’ DRAGONS
BURT
DANGER RANGERS
FEAR FEASTER
ADVENTURE TIME
LUKE SKYWALKER
THE JOKER
STAR WARS
BATMAN: ARKHAM SERIES
the many voices of
MARK HAMILL
THE JOKER
DOM
BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES
TASTY TIME WITH ZEFRONK
SKIPS
REGULAR SHOW
NIGHTMARE
ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN
MALTRUANT
BEN-10: OMNIVERSE
THE TRICKSTER
JUSTICE LEAGUE
SKELETON KING
SUPER ROBOT MONKEY
TEAM HYPERFORCE GO!
GARGOYLE
THE INCREDIBLE HULK
SENATOR STAMPINGSTON
METALOCALYPSE
STICKYBEARD
CODENAME: KIDS
NEXT DOOR
SPECTRE
BATMAN: THE BRAVE
AND THE BOLD
ABRAHAM KANE
MOTORCITY
HOBGOBLIN
ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN
FIRE LORD OZAI
AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER
COCKNOCKER
LARRY 3000
TIME SQUAD
JAY AND SILENT BOB
STRIKE BACK
STRENGTHS
Tara comes from a broken home. Her
mother died when she was 9 years old
and her father was an alcoholic. Growing up with this, Tara had to learn to
fend for herself.
L
et’s
introduce
our
first combatant. Tara
Knowles is a brilliant
neonatal and pediatric surgeon native to
a lovely, little nook on the west
coast called Charming. This no
nonsense gal enjoys the occasional drag of marijuana, arguing with
her mother-in-law, Gemma, and
making every possible attempt
to get her children away from the
gun-running motorcycle club
SAMCRO.
She has a serious intolerance for those
she considers manipulative or pathetic.
This has led to many clashes with select
members of both the city of Charming and the Sons of Anarchy brotherhood, most notably, Gemma Teller, her
mother-in-law.
However, despite her disdain for manipulation, Tara has proven herself to
be a talented manipulator, showing a
strong talent for playing people off each
other. She has demonstrated this skill
whenever necessary, whether it was to
protect herself or those she cares for.
Tara Knowles is no stranger to violence.
On more than one occasion, Tara has
not been afraid to get her hands dirty
especially when she feels threatened or
cornered. For the most part, those who
have felt Tara’s wrath try their hardest
to not cross paths with her again. She
also has a high tolerance for pain. Tara
has been punched, throttled, kicked,
and man-handled enough times to
qualify her for a professional boxing
career. And yet, she always comes out
on top, fierce as ever.
Tara is a licensed physician and graduated top
of her medical class in
Chicago. Her mind is
sharp as a knife, and because of this she rarely
makes the same mistake twice. Blood
does not scare her, neither does seeing
wounds fresh from battle. Tara is tough
in the face of danger and unflinching to
act when she needs to.
WEAKNESSES
She does have some faults that are major holes in her defense. Tara has a tendancy to wait too long to act when she
should. On more than one occasion,
she has let an opportunity to strike or
defend out from her grip.
She is also susceptible to post traumatic
stress. A serious injury to the hand
caused by having it slammed repeatedly
on a car door while being kidnapped
has left Tara shaken for a long period
of time. These two things could prove
problematic in conflict.
STRENGTHS
Piper’s combat skills are not up to
par as most combatants. Due to her
pampered upbringing, Chapman was
never placed into a situation where
she was forced to get into a physical
altercation. That said, Piper has a one
clear strength: her rage.
N
ext up is Piper Chapman, The Dandelion
Queen of Litchfield
Prison. This bubbly,
blonde socialite was at
the top of game. She lived a life of excitement with Alex Vause, her drug
dealer girlfriend. She eventually got out
of that life and settled for Larry Bloom,
her not drug dealing boyfriend. She enjoyed the nice and quiet life of a New
York WASP for a number of years. Her
hobbies include going to trendy restaurants, working on crafts to sell, and all
around taking things for granted. This
all came crashing down when her former squeeze, Vause, spoke of her involvement in her drug deals. Chapman
is now serving time in Litchfield Correctional Facility.
Chapman’s repressed anger has
benefited her before in conflict. Her
fight with Pennsatucky ended with
her knocking a majority of her opponents teeth out of her mouth. She
later confirmed that had she not been
stopped, she would have probably
killed Pennsatucky.
She is also Machiavellian in her
schemes against people. Pushed to
her limits, Chapman has few qualms
with utterly ruining a person’s mental
perceptions or even their safety if she
is triffled with.
WEAKNESSES
Piper’s biggest set back is her lack of
experience with violence or all around
unpleasantness. She is incredibly soft
hearted, and it is not in her nature to
be a cutthroat.
This lack of marauder mentality has
led to her being disrespected and flat
out abused by others around her. She
also has a tendancy to act or speak
without thinking things through.
Chapman is seemingly unaware of the
consequences that certain things hold.
It isn’t until her patience or boundaries are truly threatened that she takes
any kind of drastic measures.
Her lack of skill when it comes to
quick thinking is clearly her biggest
drawback.
THE WINNER
The champion in all of this is clear and obvious. It’s Tara “Don’t touch my Charlie
Hunnam butt” Knowles. She’s simply too hardcore for flimsy Piper to keep up with.
Chapman would put up a good fight once she’d unleash the beast and go all blood
fury. However, Knowles’ experience in hand-to-hand combat has given her the insight to know how to deal with this berserker style of combat. She has faced it before
and more than once. Tara would let Piper tire herself out before smashing her face in
with the flat of her fist. And taking a cue from Gemma Teller, she’d deliver the coup
de grâce via a high heel to stomach and throat. Piper Chapman would be down for
the count and left in SHU to think of her ignorance. Tara Knowles would ride off
with Jax to get mad at him and make that sweet, late night tv friendly sexy time.
Mashup of the Month
Mashup of the Month
illustrated by peter woodward
FIRST
IMPRESSIONS:
uncharted 4: A Thief’s end
by austin beattie
Image Source: GameSpot.com
Games
I
Games
was 16 years old when I got my first PS3. At that
point, I had seen so many videos about the games
that were to come out for it (also the horrible launch
of the console. Seriously, that’s some Westeros style
stuff right there). One of the games that was coming
out was Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune. I didn’t know
much about the game itself, but I did know that it
was an adventure game from Naughty Dog, and they
made Crash Bandicoot and Jak & Daxter. How could they
do wrong? I also knew that it would be like Tomb Raider,
but that you play as a guy. As a male, that seemed like
a slice of fried gold. I always thought Laura Croft was a
cool character, but because our genitalia did not
match, my simple teenage mind just couldn’t
settle into her buxom boots.
Genre Third-person shooter, Action-Adventure
Publisher Sony Computer Entertainment
Developer Naughty Dog
Release Date 2015 ESRB Rating T
Platform Playstation 4
Games
Two years later, I received the
game for my birthday and what
can I say? It’s better than the first
one by a long shot and that’s saying something. The third one was
released shortly after, and though
it was not as thrilling as the 2nd
installment, it’s still a great game
and is much bigger in scale and
scope.
So now it’s 2015, and we are getting a glimpse at what’s supposed
to be the next and final installment of this stellar series. We
were shown a teaser trailer a few
months back and it left us Drake
junkies itching for our next fix.
If you haven’t seen it, it features a
brief glimpse of the protagonist,
Nathan Drake, awakening on a
beach and looking as though he’s
been through too much for even
his daredevil persona.
He gets up and finds a pistol buried in the sand. Cleaning off the
sidearm, he holsters it and marches off into a foreboding jungle.
A brief side glimpse shows a few
pirate gibblets hanging from tree
branches, a harrowing warning
to the dangers Drake will soon
be enduring. All while this goes
Source: YouTube.com
Nearly 7 years since that point,
I can proudly say I am a diehard
fan of the Uncharted series. I can
relate to Laura Croft now as well,
but only after I was married. (My
wife made me relate to her. She
said I wasn’t allowed not to). After
the first Uncharted game, I wanted more and when I heard that
there was going to be a sequel,
my ears pricked up like a dog
catching the scent of blood.
on, a voice over from an unseen
conversation between Drake and
his mentor/ father figure, Victor
Sullivan, plays in the background.
The conversation states that Nate
is looking for assistance on something and is in desperate need.
Sully reminds his protegé that
he’s been out of the game for too
long and things aren’t the same.
Drake agrees but insists, stating
he has no choice and that this will
be ONE LAST TIME.
All of those things combined definitely tells you that this is going
to be a much different game than
the others. Recently, I watched a
video showing off the gameplay
and graphics. This game series
has always been gorgeous and
this one does not fail to deliver.
The Madgascar locale is as
breathtaking as ever and the
environments are lush with color
and life. The world around Nathan
breathes with life. Guns now have
animation to them, giving them a
realistic vibe (pistol slides and rifle
actions sliding back after shots,
bullets spitting out of breaches,
Games
powder residue hanging in the
air, etc.). Drake himself is given an
update. His body and facial animations are vastly improved, and
his Nathan Fillion inspired looks
shine bright this time around.
You can’t take the sky from me....
Sorry, that one slipped.
The gameplay remains similar to
other titles, but has now been
given a faster, more frantic pace.
Players will have to utilize all their
skills from previous games to survive. The demo I saw showcased
Nathan having to use blind fire,
run and gun tactics, cover based
mechanics, hand-to-hand combat,
stealth, and acrobatics all in the
same firefight.
The game also seems to have
taken cues from the most recent
Tomb Raider game. Drake now
has a spelunker’s pick and rope
hook to traverse terrain with. The
rope hook is also featured in combat, in very surprising and exciting ways.
Source: YouTube.com
The gameplay demo also featured a small glimpse into the
plot of this chapter. When Drake
climbs over a tumbling ridge of
stone, he is greated by a gun in
his face. The two men smile and
laugh and put their pistols away.
Nathan knows this man, referring
to him as Sam.
Sam remarks about how he nearly
blew Drake’s head off and then
states that he’s glad he’s alive. He
then says “C’mon, little brother.
We’ve got treasure to find.”
That’s the end of the trailer, and it
left me wanting more and asking questions. What treasure?
Who are these men working for?
Why are they trying to kill Drake?
Where’s Elena? Where’s Sully?
Where’s Chloe? And of course,
LITTLE BROTHER?!!! Sam is Nathan’s older brother? Where has
he been this whole time? Do you
know what your younger sibling
has been through?
So my verdict? Bring it on! This
series has never disappointed me,
and I can always go for another
round with Nathan Drake.
It’s not like we have an Indiana
Jones game to look forward to.
This game looks great, and running on the power of the PS4, I
think it’ll play smoothly. I look forward to getting my hands on this,
and I have a feeling this one will
be a pre-order purchase. Now, if
you need me, I’ll be sitting in a
corner crying over my Firefly and
Serenity Blu-Ray, drinking Mudder’s Milk, and telling myself I’m
a leaf in the wind. ‘Till next time,
you húndàn!
Source: YouTube.com
Games
review
shadows
ofmordor
(PS3)
lament of a man stuck in last gen by austin beattie
Genre Action RPG Publisher Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment
Developer Monolith Productions, Behavior Interactive
Release Date September 30, 2014 ESRB Rating M
Platforms PS4, PS3, Xbox One, Xbox 360, PC
5.0
out of 10
The best way I can compare my experience with this game is a lot like eating a ham sandwich. Nothing bad,
a simple ham sandwich. It’s a good sandwich, but it’s kind of plain. And across from you, in the same room,
someone is eating a juicy steak. Do you get the picture?
This game was clearly designed for current-gen platforms, but some executive figured they could squeeze as
much money out of this Tolkien cow and put it on last-gen consoles. There is so much wrong with this title that I
can honestly say it’s the buggiest game I’ve played. I haven’t been able to purchase a PS4 yet. My lovely, caring
wife and I agreed it would be best if I wait until we have more cash underneath us before I upgrade. It has been all
fine and dandy until I picked up this game. When my copy of this game came in the mail, I was okay with my PS3
and figured so were developers. However, upon putting the disk into the console I realized I was dead wrong.
Let’s start with the graphics. They’re great, when they’re working. Seriously, the game runs at such a fast rate
that the graphics can not keep up. This was my first warning that I was playing this on its unintended plat-
Source: YouTube.com
Games
form. Some times Uruks (the nemesis and sole enemy of the game) will appear before you and their
armor is materializing around their bare bodies when
they are approaching to confront you. This happens
consistently and constantly.
Textures were also a huge problem for the game.
Many times the map and enemy textures would
load mid-gameplay. An example would be a fight
between me and a cave beast who hadn’t finished
rendering when he appeared. I essentially fought
clay, textureless, molds of the monsters for the entire
fight. It’s moments like this that remove you from the
game. Shadows of Mordor shows it’s real weakness
when it comes to graphics during the moments of
big battle when waves upon waves of orcs descend
upon you. The lag is so dense it’s distracting and
hard to keep up with the combat. This happens quite
frequently.
Load times are a killer as well. Because this game
was clearly not meant for the PS3’s hard drive capabilities, any time the game must load it drags on
and on at an excruciating pace. And the worst part
of that? The game is constantly in need of opportunities to load. Resume game after pausing? Hold
on for a few. Just got done upgrading your skills?
Give me a moment to catch my breath. Did you just
check out your map and select a target? Dude, hold
your horses. It’s amazing that Assassin’s Creed, even
up to this point as a last gen title, runs smoother
and loads faster than this.
not that big of a deal at first, but trust me. It was
pretty much the deal breaker for me. The sound
quality in this game is abysmal at best. Understand
that I don’t mean the environmental SFX, musical
score, or voice acting is mediocre. No, those are all
fine. It’s just how well they were taken care of after
recording them that I have a problem with. It’s hard
to focus on a game that requires you to be mindful
of your environment when the sound is constantly
cutting out. Many times in the game, the audio cut
in and out like a broken speaker at a drive thru. I
thought at first I had a defective copy but a quick
search led to similar complaints about the very subject that inquisited my entertainment.
When the game works, it can be pretty damn fun.
The story is pretty good, albeit I would have chosen
a better beginning. The game doesn’t really give you
much time to get to know the protagonist, Talion,
and his character kind of suffers for it. The intro feels
like Cliff Notes: he’s a ranger, he’s married, he has a
son, they’re killed, he’s given powers, time for revenge. The prologue builds almost no tension and
instead drops you into the middle of an invasion,
giving you no time to relate to this character or get
familiar with his environment.
However, once things get up and running, it’s hard to
put down the controller. The game’s prime antagonists, the Uruks, are a diverse set of enemies. Each
one you face had the potential to become important
later, should certain events take fold. The Uruks have
their own politics, diplomacy, and customs that all
happen without your direct involvement. They settle
their own disputes and problems amongst themselves, not needing an ounce of your help, although
you totally can if you choose to.
All of this lends to a great atmosphere and a distinct feel to this world. Unfortunately, those prior set
backs I mentioned truly hinder the game from being
all it can be. Perhaps in the near future, I can do a
review on the current gen consoles and maybe my
pain will be alleviated. Or maybe nothing awaits me
but more disappointment. We will just have to see.
Now down to my biggest problem. This one, to me,
is unacceptable. Some of you may think that this is
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