Volume 18 Issue 3 March 10, 2016 Kolbe House Jail Ministry

Precious Blood Ministry of Reconciliation
Kolbe House Jail Ministry
Volume 18 Issue 3 March 10, 2016
Page 2
M AK I N G CH O I C E S
Making Choices
Kolbe House at Assumption
2434 S. California Ave.
Chicago, IL 60608
Publisher
Kolbe House Catholic
Jail Ministry
Editorial Team
Fr. Dave Kelly
Lamonte Lay
Making Choices
Combines the voices of those who are
incarcerated at Cook County Juvenile
Temporary Detention Center, Cook County
Jail and institutions throughout the state.
It is published as a means to give a voice
to those who wish to speak out.
It is a project of Kolbe House,
the Catholic Jail Ministry of the Archdiocese of Chicago and
Precious Blood
Ministry of Reconciliation
Lost soul
By William Gonzalez
Jacksonville C.C.
As I lay here in my coffin, six feet
beneath the ground…
My tongue which once was talking,
now doesn’t make a sound.
My lungs which once were
breathing, are airless in my chest.
The brain that laid inside my head,
had me thinking, “I was the best”.
I lived a life of violence, never
thinking I would die…
But the truth really turned out to be,
I was living out a lie.
I lived a lavish lifestyle, always
thinking I was cool,
but the truth is that my way of
thinking had me living like a fool.
The lives I hurt are many and I
never respected none.
Always quick to use my fists, or pull
the trigger on my gun.
This life of thugs and gangstas and
banging in the street…
Is the reason that I lost everything,
and my heart has stopped to beat.
God gave me many chances, to
change my sinful ways and pride.
Before the reaper showed up with
his sickle, and struck me with such
stride.
Now it seems I lost my chance to
save my sinful soul, for now I lay
here in this coffin, deep within a
hole.
Was I a ruthless gangsta? Or
perhaps a mindless slave…
For the outcome of my sinful ways,
has placed me in a grave.
Page 3
V O L UM E 18 , I S S UE 3
Prison life
Poetry from
within the
walls
Sometimes I cry
By Danny Martinez
Sometimes when I’m alone I cry
because I’m on my own. The tears
I cry are bitter and warm, they flow
with life but take no form. I cry because my heart is torn and I find it
difficult to carry on.
If I had acar to confide in I could
cry among my treasured friends,
but who do you know that stops
that long to help another carry on.
They would move fast and pass
you by, than to stop and see what
makes me cry.
It’s painful and sad and sometimes
I cry and no one cares about why.
By Mary White
Logan C.C.
It’s waiting on letter when doing
time, and your family and friends
won’t even write to comfort your
mind.
It’s waiting on visits that never
take place, from friends and loved
ones who forgot your face.
It’s hearing them lie saying they’re
trying, making you
promises, but you know they’re
lying.
It’s making plans with someone
who you thought you knew, but
the plans suddenly changed and
didn’t include you.
It’s hearing them say how much
they care, but in your time of need
they’re never there.
It’s the feeling of love, honor and
pride, with pain and emotions
hurting them inside.
It’s expressing yourself to family
and friends, but they can’t feel
your pain because you’re in the
pen.
It’s calling and hearing no
answer on the phone but you
maintain because life goes on.
It’s really messed up when you’re
doing time, but that’s
prison life…
Out of sight out of mind.
Page 4
M AK I N G CH O I C E S
A letter from Son to
Father
By Eddie Williams
Menard C.C.
Your father knows the things you
have need of before you ask him.
–Matthew 6:8
Poetry From Within The
Walls Pt. 2
By Eric Snead
Hill C.C.
In superbowl 50 Denver
Defense Dominated,
Carolina Cam was frazzled
frenetic frustrated!
Halftime show was saved by
Beyoncé and Bruno,
Cold Play had people ready for
Uno!
I’ve been here before like déjà
vu,
This is Poetry From Within the
Walls pt. 2!
High Ho silver the lone ranger
rides pronto,
Kemo Sabe he is called by
Tonto!
Bat Mar riding slick in bat
mobile,
Ready to rumble with man of
steel!
Poetry from within the Walls Pt.2
Have I gone astray or askew?
In court you were the defendant,
In I.D.O.C. you are the
dependent!
Never get 2nd chance at 1st
impression,
A major mistake is a minor
transgression!
My nightmare is your dream
come true,
Therapeutic “Poetry From
Within The Walls Pt.2”!
February is the month for Black
History,
Black on Black crime is no
mystery!
On weight pile you’re getting so
tight,
Yet you should be getting your
mind right!
When Good things end I start
anew,
It was the time to bid Adieu,
Over your head every hint flew,
So very apart we just grew,
On this food for thought please
chew,
“Poetry From Within The Walls
Pt2”!
The Lord gave you the power to
create me. Therefore, I will
always be grateful. Even though
we’re separated by miles, we’ll
always and forever be family.
Even in a place of difficulty,
surrounded by steel bars and
concrete walls. It will never break
me, nor will troubling days ahead
rob me of reason.
I was born with my Father’s will.
I’ll keep on praying and dreaming
as long as there’s peace and
courage in my heart.
I will keep fighting insecurity in
order to overcome life’s trials and
tribulations with my Father’s
wisdom.
When he asked me, “Why do we
fall son”?
“In order to learn how to pick
ourselves up”!
I dedicate this letter with pride my
beloved Dear Father.
Your Son,
Eddie Williams
Page 5
V O L UM E 18 , I S S UE 3
Maximum Penitentiary
Why
By Ray Winston
Sumner, IL
By Floyd Stewart
Pinckneyville C.C.
I thought that slavery had
come to an end, until these
four walls have captured all my
rage. I ask myself why do
White American society hate
my African heritage so much?
But when I look within the
mirror each morning I love who
I am. But those with power
within a racial system, they are
the people’s who judge me,
who’s the negative stereotypes
now.
Why is the concept behind the
word love so hard to define,
understand or display.
Why, the ones who say they
love you so much are the people
who let you down when you
really need them?
Why do we think we know the
people who were intimate with,
but they show us a side of them
that were unfamiliar with?
Why is it so hard to keep it
100%?
Why is it so hard to have a
person’s back to the fullest of
ones capability?
Why when s*** get thick in your
life, the same people you hang
with get thin.
Why do women act different
when you get locked up, then
when you’re in their presences.
Why is it so easy to cheat, but
A generation ago many whites
indisputably felt that blacks
were inferior. The odds will always be against me and my
brothers and sisters. If it’s always a double standard within
the wok place. Someone has
to be brave enough to admit
that the issues is important.
All American universities got to
face the truth and learn from it
before we can go forward.
We as human beings we are
born Black and White and
other races, the sad thing that
it’s you negative stereotypes
out there within society.
You don’t judge the beauty of
a flower but you judge me!...
Maximum Penitentiary
hard to accept when cheated
on…
Why is commitment taking for
granted?
Why is being faithful so hard?
Why the people you trust be the
ones who stab you in the back?
Why do n****s pillow talk with
the most gossiping people
(women), especially when
trying to keep it a secret?
Why is it so hard for men to
appreciate and honor his
woman when he’s free?
Why does it take to be
separated by force to value and
express true feelings?
Why is it so hard for men to be
faithful?
Why do women look for needs
in other men, instead of
comforting her differences?
Lack of communication is why
these questions are being
abused, that’s why!
Page 6
M AK I N G CH O I C E S
Corrupt system
By BeBo
Jacksonville C.C.
This corrupt system turning us
into victims.
Not caring if we will ever share a
hug with our brothers and sisters.
Many lives been lost to the
“Bang” of the Judge’s Gavel,
Lady justice aint blind that b****
the problem.
Her scale should be tilt cause
money outweigh the guilt.
Legalize slavery at its most high,
removing the shackles from our
feet, but locking up our state of
mind.
Some say, “The game is cold but
it’s fair”. What's fair? 16 shots by
Chicago cops!
My fellow brother’s doing time for
crimes they were framed upon.
Some say I’m lucky, some think
I’m blessed.
Stop believing in God the day my
sister was put to rest.
It’s trails and tribulation or is it
just a test.
Is it the cops red and blue lights
or the colors we rep?
Thinking of a better system one
day they’ll correct only if dreams
came true, I’ll live to see that
day.
From Stateville to Menard
bunkbeds and bars.
Free Spike! Free Greg!
Overturn they charge, because
this corrupt system is a
permanent scar...
“Courage
is the key that turns
dreams into reality”.
By Derrick Rose
When you are born
My corner
By Jimmie Dunlap
CCDOC
By Dwaine Coleman
Pontiac C.C.
When we came into this world
we knew not what we face.
When we got older we begun to
see what a cold place.
Not knowing that we can’t win
every race, because there are
going to be people better than
you.
Just don’t give up keep on
striving and keep running in the
race. Because when we were
born we didn’t know what we
was going to face.
The bell has rung sounding the
round,
The lonely walk to my corner
where no one’s around.
The inspiration to continue the
fight, where can it be found?
Who will motivate me to rise, after
being knocked down?
The crowd is cheering at the prospect of defeat, so do I stay down
or rise to my feet?
We are always going to have
haters throwing things in our
face, but God say hold your
head high and keep your faith,
because there’s no one that can
take his place.
We was born to walk with God
at all times because Satan want
us to stay thy way, down and
out.
But God say keep your faith he
promise we would make it
through the golden gates.
God Bless All.
The heart of a Lion is the Champions creed,
So even though my corner is
empty and I continue to bleed.
I must answer the bell and center
the ring, if victory is to be more
than just a dream.
My strength is weary as the blows
are felt, but I continue to jab to
capture the belt.
I found my corner empty as they
wagered the odds,
But my strength and endurance
didn’t come from my corner… it
came from God!
Page 7
V O L UM E 18 , I S S UE 3
Doing Time
By Robert Douglas
Pontiac C.C.
As I stare out the window feeling
the chill of the wind, I see fences
with barbed wire that I call my
friend.
Trapped in a cell as I await for
my release, I know it will be
awhile before I finally find my
peace.
Very few people know and understand what it’s like to be
locked in a cell with a man you
don’t even like.
Memories of the past help you
through out your day, awaiting
for letters on the way day after
day.
You feel tension from within
when you don’t get a letter,
and your homie down the way
says it soon to get better.
Tossing and turning at night unable to sleep,
Some watch T.V. in peace and
some silently weep,
No mater how you look at it we
are all doing time,
Stay clam and be cool it’s only a
matter of time.
Dear Reader
By Joseph
Galesburg, IL
I’m glad to see that the IDOC is
finally addressing issues of
mentally ill inmates. I am sad
however that it required being
taken to court. Making the IDOC
officials do what they know to be
the “right” action all along. Until
IDOC staff is taught to see
inmates as people and not
criminal livestock, the systemic
violation of inmate rights will not
stop. Because of the abuse of
power being perpetrated by law
enforcement, the prison system
is going to have a monster it
cannot handle. Much like
ordinary citizens who are having
their lives taken at the hands or
a
corrupted system.
Inmates are being mentally and
physically abused daily. We were
sent to prison as punishment, not
for ongoing daily punishments at
the hands of the guards and
administration, who have their
own personal agendas. The
difference for the inmate, there
are no cameras, no news crews
to report the injustice. No way to
make our voices heard outside of
these walls.
The IDOC is trying to force
inmates to take a less than
human stand. In doing so,
advancing their own agendas of
more jobs, more pay and less
work. They have adopted a “keep
the animals caged” mentality. We
must tell our friends and family to
contact their local elected officials
and let them know what is really
happening. Lives are not just
being taken on our streets by a
corrupt system. They are also
being destroyed by the brutality
and inadequacy of an
overcrowded
prison system. We
must make people
aware that our
lives
matter.
Page 8
M AK I N G CH O I C E S
that they can, in their day to day
lives. This is certainly true for me.
As a Buddhist, for the past 16
years, I strongly relate to one of
my early heroes and mentors, Dr.
George Washington Carver: “No
individual has any right to come
into the world and go out of it
without leaving behind his distinct
and legitimate reasons for having
passed through it.
My inner me
By Julian Robinson
Sheridan C.C.
My inner me is my enemy.
It allows me to pretend to be
everything but free.
My inner me is tricky and very
strong, it talks me out of doing
right and tell me to do wrong.
My inner me is no one but self,
it hurts me and no on else.
To beat my inner me I must
move on, have an open mind,
face my problems, and be
strong.
My inner me hits from left to
right, to defeat this enemy I
must have the will to fight.
A personal look at
karma
By Z.L. King
Hill C.C.
Most of my life of 72 years,
I been a strong believer in
karma. For the most part, I
believed and still believe: Do
good and receive good, Do bad
and receive bad.
Also I accept and believe the
native American position,
namely: “All human beings have
a good wolf and a bad wolf”.
This simply means if we practice
good, we become good. Also, if
we practice bad, we become
bad. The things that we strive for
and work towards are the things
or actions that we become or
project in our day to day lives.
It is my simple belief that good
books will help us to become
good people. Likewise, bad
books will help us to become
bad people.
Most Buddhists and spiritual
people seek to do all the good
The above words of Dr. George
Washington Carver are clearly in
harmony with the noble teachings
of Shakyamuni Buddha.
Venerable Reb Anderson speaks
very highly of Dr. Carver, in his
book: Warm Smiles From Cold
Mountains :Dharma Talks on Zen
Mediation.
Venerable Reb Anderson is one
of my early Buddhist teachers
and his books helped to convince
me that Buddhism was the
religion that I had been seeking,
for well over 50 years, all of this is
part of my karma.
The habit of reading good books
was instilled in me by my mother,
when I was a young boy and this
habit still continues today. Each
day of my life I try to read good
books or literature and consider
my reading to be a tribute to the
life and memory of my beloved
mother.
Even after a life or more than 72
years, Booker T. Washington and
Dr. George Washington Carver
are still heroes to and for me.
Also, mother and several
members are heroes to and for
me. All of this is part of my
karma. Thank you for taking the
time to read my words about
karma. Gassho &Metta.
Page 9
V O L UM E 18 , I S S UE 3
Reminisce of 08’
Home
Save me
By Floyd Stewart
Pinckneyville C.C.
By Anthony Arrington
CCJTDC 5C
By Charles Hall
CCDOC
I remember the first time I saw
your beautiful brown eyes again,
it was the summer of 08, when
things in my life wasn’t so great. I
remember our first date, the block
thought I was square, cause I
took you to build a bear, but they
were just mad cause they wasn’t
there.
You said I was the best boyfriend
you ever had, but that don’t mean
nothing, because the way I treated you was all bad, and now that
you’re not in my life, I’m raging
mad, but if giving a second
chance, that will make me super
glad.
I was Clyde and you were my
Bonnie, your brown skin remind
me of sweet honey, and the love I
have for you, I wouldn’t trade for
no amount of money.
I know I wasn’t there for you
when you were sick, but you were
fighting me and I didn’t understand it. For everything I did to
you I’m sorry, and even though
you say the boy aint mine I need
“Maury”. I talk about you to the
homies all the time about my
feelings for you,, and they say tell
her, so I’m expressing myself
through this pen and paper
praying everything will be better.
Your cousin Lil Red said we
wouldn't last long, she was right
cause now I’m singing Neyo -”So
sick”, love song. So until the day
we can be one again, I continue
to express my true feelings
through this pen!
Man this being locked up stuff
really hurt in the inside.
On Bro, when I come home I
really got to change some of my
ways.
I don’t want to be like my Dad, in
and out of jail all my life. That
s*** aint go’ cut it!
I don’t like being away from
home for so long. On Bro, low
key I been going crazy in the
head because I been seeing all
these nice looking lady's every
day but I’m in here. That hurts
me even more. When I get out I
got to find something to do to
better myself.
Save me from all the pain.
Save me from these chains.
Save me before it’s too late,
and I get lost behind this gate.
Save me from the violence in
Chiraq.
Save me and have my back.
Save me before I fall down,
and crack my skull on the ground.
Save me from my hateful mother.
Save me because I’m your brother.
Save me so I can be at the reunion
with my family.
Save me from this life of sin.
Save me if your my friend.
Save me so I can do some good
within our struggling
neighborhoods.
A NOTE FROM FR. KELLY
The front cover gives me
pause. I see in that face, so
many young people I have met
over the years. They have a
look of being left behind,
abandoned, alone.
As I work in the community
(5st and S. Racine), I have
come to understand that young
people often times feel as
though they are alone in the
world—that adults are not
looking out for them. Every
young person should feel as
though the community—
especially their community– is
looking out for them. No one
should feel alone in their own
community.
There is a saying that was
coined by an African American
civil rights woman from
Detroit—”Putting Neighbor
back in the Hood”. That has
been our summer program’s
theme for the past several years.
It is the vision of having a
community that is connected to
one another.
Bryan Stephenson wrote in his
book, Just Mercy, that we must
change the narrative. Too many
feel ( and this is racism) that
black young men are dangerous
or criminal. The community
narrative has to go something
like this—”these are our
children and we want the best
for our own.“
Let us work together so that all
our children grow up knowing
that they are good—that they
are gift to the world.
Peace,
Fr. Kelly
MAKING CHOICES
Kolbe House
2434 S. California Ave.
Chicago, IL 60608
Label here
Making Choices Newsletter is
a project of Kolbe House,
the jail ministry of the
Archdiocese of Chicago and
Precious Blood
Ministry of
Reconciliation .
Continue to send your
articles and poetry to :
Making Choices
2434 S. California Ave.
Chicago, IL 60608