Making Choices 18.7 - Precious Blood Ministry of Reconciliation

Precious Blood Ministry of Reconciliation
Kolbe House Jail Ministry
Volume 18 Issue 7 July 20, 2016
Page 2
M AK I N G CH O I C E S
Enough
Making Choices
Kolbe House at Assumption
2434 S. California Ave.
Chicago, IL 60608
Publisher
Kolbe House Catholic
Jail Ministry
Editorial Team
Fr. Dave Kelly
Lamonte Lay
Making Choices
Combines the voices of those who are
incarcerated at Cook County Juvenile
Temporary Detention Center, Cook County
Jail and institutions throughout the state.
It is published as a means to give a voice
to those who wish to speak out.
It is a project of Kolbe House,
The Catholic Jail Ministry of the Archdiocese of Chicago and
Precious Blood
Ministry of
Reconciliation
By Christopher Toney
Danville C.C.
I’ve been through so much—
I’m only twenty six years old,
but I can’t tell you what being shot
feels like. I was unconscious when
the Forty-Five Caliber bullet
savaged through my chest.
I’ve been through so much!
At age eighteen, a federal defender
told me I could plead guilty for thirty
years at eighty-five percent; or go to
trial, and lose and receive life—
I’ve been though so much!
Life shattered my dreams, No!
Evil shattered my dreams. At age
twenty-four I realized the street
gang I sacrificed my mental state
for intended to harm me;
consciously and subconsciously.
I’ve been through it all!
I’ve almost died during multiple
altercations, and rival gang
members have tried to kill me.
I made it to age eighteen though—
Still couldn't tell you what a FortyFive Caliber bullet feel like, I had
tunnel vision as the gunman chased
after me through the alley.
I been through it all!
My mother, my angel, she’s been
through it all, and managed to
maintain, while her son gave his all
to the streets.
She’s been through it all!..
God help us we’ve been through
enough!
Unfortunately, God witnessed it all,
but yet we have the nerve to say
we’ve seen it all, God help me—
I’ve been through enough!
Page 3
V O L UM E 18 , I S S UE 7
The Damage Done
Poetry from
within the
walls
Flowers of the mind
By Anthony Lopez
CCDOC
This is simply a poem of appreciation to
the world’s most loved creations.
To ensure you all that all of you mean
more than anything upon this nation.
And when I hear all of your voices on the
phone, it becomes a guarantee that I stay
strong.
So I sit back and ponder on our conversation all day long.
It meant the world to me when I heard the
sweet melody of my granddaughter’s first
words.
I wish I was there to see, but don’t worry
sweet baby, because I shall come out
and I’ll never return down this same
route!
To all my kids Amores, Arely, Anthony
Jr., Pilar, Angel, Loyo, also my granddaughter Immy and another on the way.
Daddy/ Step Daddy/ Pepa
I Love all of you the same.
By Arnold Joyner
Pinckneyville C.C.
Many probably don't realize the
damage done, to our American
citizens, daughter’s and sons.
Let’s take an overview on
who’ve failed and won. Yes,
more have surely failed than
won and by today's standards,
there’s only openings for a
selected group of some.
Gangbangers, drug dealers,
drive-by shooters, drug usages,
uneducated and immorality isn’t
one. These things we’ve seen
first hand, the damage done.
Why is it people feel success of
the positive nature is no fun?
Well people, being dead is
dumb!
As well as, living like a bum, or
being forced to remain in the
American slums, can “We”
agree?
The above negativity causes
continuous damage done we
see.
It seem like it’s directed right at
you and me, or is it what “We”
choose to be?
For the damage done has been
constantly, consistently and
generationally. Make no mistake
about this, this damage done is
done by our American citizenry.
All of us, including me, we must
change our ways if we expect to
be with God in Heaven
eternally.
Anything else will send us
beneath, where the damage
done is intentionally.
Page 4
M AK I N G CH O I C E S
Being, Ascend, Essence
By Sandy Williams
Lincoln, IL
No stress zone
By Arnold Joyner
Pinckneyville C.C.
Here in prison I try to live in a no
stress zone.
My focus is to win my case, act
civilized , recognize my mistakes
and leave other people business
alone.
I’m whole heartedly trying to get
back home, where I feel “We” all
belong.
Yet, there’s a group of dudes in
here who love the stress zone;
I believe they’re miserable and
come from a broken home.
Sometimes they make me feel
this is exactly where they belong.
When they see me and others in
here smiling, laughing and
getting along, here comes the
dissension, envy, jealously and
hatred that will surely cause
some of us to walk wrong.
Where's the responsibility that
comes with being grown?
People, what the mind lacks the
heart can’t atone.
Those of us who are believers,
we have a Godly right to a
no stress zone.
Our God promises joy every
morning and peace when we
honor and glorify his throne.
I’m abundantly sorry for my
sins and wrongs. I’m elated at
what the Holy Spirit has shown,
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, thank you
for forgiving me, my sins and
wrongs.
Please allow all to recognize
and acknowledge my no stress
zone.
As I breathe to the rhythm of my
heart. I am aware of my being.
I have the DNA of all my
ancestors warehoused in this
157lb, 5ft 8 frame, to say it
blows my mind is an
overstatement.
I am more than extraordinary!
I am blessed beyond anything I
could’ve ever recognized when I
walked around in a mindless
state.
Through my creator I ascend
the struggles in prison. His light
bubbles up inside of me and is
very contagious to these around
me.
I am now the new improved
“Nike” as I reflect on today’s
victories. I correct the injustices
that I have knowingly and
unknowingly impressed upon
another.
I expect tomorrow to far exceed
anything that I have
accomplished today through my
Lord and savior Yeshua the
Messiah.
The essence of my very core in
you, us, we, the connectedness
of all things being accepting
things as they are for now.
Being content in the moment,
for this too shall pass!
Knowing that with man my
assignment is impossible, but
with God all things are possible.
Page 5
V O L UM E 18 , I S S UE 7
What life is about
By Unknown
California
Life isn’t about keeping score.
It’s not about how many friends
you have, or how accepted you
are.
It’s not about if you have plans
this weekend or if you're alone.
Or who you use to date, how
many people you’ve dated, or if
you haven’t been with anyone
at all.
It’s not about who you’ve
kissed. It’s not about who your
family is or how much money
they have; what kind of car you
drive, or where you are sent to
school.
It’s not about if your hair is
blonde, red, black or brown,
or if your skin is too light or too
dark.
It’s not about what grades you
get, or how smart you are, how
smart everyone else thinks you
are, or how smart standardized
tests say you are.
It’s not about what clubs you’re
in or how good you are at
“your” sport.
Its not about representing your
whole being on a piece of
paper and seeing who will
accept “The written you”.
Life just isn’t.
Life is about who you love and
who you’ve hurt.
It’s about who you make happy
and unhappy purposely.
It’s about keeping or betraying
trust.
It’s about friendship, used as a
sanctity or a weapon.
It’s about what you say and
mean, maybe hurtful, maybe
heartening.
It’s about what judgments you
pass, and why and who your
judgements are spread to.
It’s about who you’ve ignored
with full control and intention.
It’s about jealously, fear,
ignorance, and revenge.
It’s about carrying inner hate or
love, letting it grow and
spreading it.
But most of all, its about using
your life to touch or poison the
hearts of others in such a way
that could have never occurred
alone.
Only you choose the way those
hearts are affected and those
choices are what life’s about.
Stuck in your ways
By Shelley Gaston
Pinckneyville C.C.
Some of us have lived the way
of the world for so long that it’s
hard to change.
We have become so
complacent with our self, that
the fact of change is out of the
question for some of us.
The reason being the more we
try to follow Jesus Christ the
more the devil tries to bring us
back to what we were use to.
As long as we are under
Satan’s control we will never
look forward to seeing better
days.
Page 6
M AK I N G CH O I C E S
The Bleeding Truth
By Carnell Tyler
Menard C.C.
This is the bleeding truth that I
speak to my youth…
The truth bleeds...
I see smoke from crack rock
up and down my block.
I see whores in bummie
clothes, selling sex for rocks
and blows.
I see hell wide open, and my
people constantly smoking.
I see my Heavenly Father
scratching his head, because
his son’s and daughter's have
been misled.
I see criminal minds on trial,
psychotics in denial.
Is this part of the devil’s plan,
this place I could of sworn was
a foreign land?
Families in grief and truly sad,
the criminal system has went
jackass mad.
F.B.I. kicking folks’ door down,
running in with them mangy
a** hounds.
Poverty’s in full bloom,
Let’s pray our savior arrives
soon.
Hell’s on Earth, why you think
we cried at birth?
The whole world is race
tripping every century it’s
constantly flipping.
The youth acting like damn
fools, guns going off in high
schools!
Make a choice, use your voice;
Don’t be a rebel for the devil,
I’m no rider, truth be I’m a
survivor.
“Pain brought to speech turns to energy;
and pain brought to no speech
turns to violence”.
— Walter Brueggemann
This is the bleeding truth that I
speak to my youth…
The truth bleeds.
All these damn Earthquakes
and hard rains, do the truth lies
within the hurricanes.
Airplanes falling from the sky
we ain’t heeding what’s real, we
constantly getting high.
To you scientist, the door’s not
hard to find.
Diseases is destroying
mankind!
We want blood from the holy
bank, not from the sinful think!
As Moses lifted up the snake in
exile,
The Son of Man must be lifted
up, not treated like a bastard
child!
The East and West rivalry was
just a warning sign; let’s not
allow Satan to corrupt our
minds.
We maybe different races,
different faces, but in all cases,
Jesus is the Holy Rod,
and we all belong to God.
Therefore this is the bleeding
proof,
And what I speak to my youth is
the bleeding truth.
The truth bleeds...
Keeping our faith alive
By Neck Bone Manuel
Menard C.C.
May our hearts be resilient and
ever weary in well doing.
May we understand with every
step we take, that God is for us
and will never leave or forsake
us.
May we be wise and be willing
to seek God in new found ways.
May our faith grow bigger and
wiser than our expectations ever
thought it could go.
May we expect the enemy
before he come, and may God
charge our spirits to be strong
and fearless.
May we represent God in our
storms instead of letting our
storm represent God.
May we fight with our faith. May
our God, bless my brothers and
sisters in this penitentiary.
Every human being in these
joints. I’m dedicating this poem
to all my Christian with a lot of
love.
By the way, I’m a new member.
Please pray for me.
It is so and so it is!
Page 7
V O L UM E 18 , I S S UE 7
When I go outside
I'll never hurt you
Reality
By William Gonzalez
Jacksonville, IL
By Marvin Clark
Pinckneyville C.C.
By Ruben Hernandez
CCDOC
The beautiful sensation of this
world’s creation,
I gasp with my eyes and ears…
All nature signs all round me
rings, the music of the spheres…
When I look into the sky,
sometimes I see your face!
But when the wind blows, POOF
you’re gone without a trace!
I hear your voice when I’m
running, I hear your voice when I
walk!
I want to voice my affection, but
I’m so scared of rejection I can’t
talk!
It’s not that easy for me to
express, but I got to get this
feeling off my chest.
And I feel only a person who
has been through this s*** could
explain it best.
The fact that I am housed in this
belly of the beast, and that there
are times when my mind is
rarely at peace.
I kinda figured I’d maintain a
supportive companion at least.
It’s as if the beginning of my
journey was when loved ones
was really concerning. But now
that it’s 20 months later I’ve
found a lesson worth learning,
and that’s when you’re out of
sight and out of mind.
These individuals completely
become so blind, it’s as if
abandonment suddenly became
the case. And that those who I
was mainly around, left me here
to waste;
and honestly I could want
nothing more than to kiss my
sons face.
This is my God Almighty’s world,
I keep that in my thought…
The rocks and trees, the skies
and seas, his hand the wonders
wrought.
The birds and frogs,
the wind and all,
have their carols raise…
The morning light, the lily's white,
declare their makers praise…
This is my God almighty’s world,
he shines on all that’s fair…
Through the morning star or
signs afar,
he speaks to me everywhere!
This beautiful truth in all creation,
has given me exceeding gratitude
and appreciation.
And even though this world is
temporary and to Heaven it can’t
compare…
It’s intricate design has God’s
plan in mind and u can’t help but
sit and stare...
“I suffocate when you’re away
from me”, like J. Holiday song!
And when I’m with you it feels so
right, even though they tell me
it’s wrong!
I don’t want to give up because
we could have something
special! My heart needs repair,
so please be careful!
So what I’m saying is I love you,
so how do you feel?
I swear I’ll never hurt you,
and on my soul that’s for real!
Page 8
M AK I N G CH O I C E S
Confinement
By Valentine Arriaga
Big Muddy River C.C.
When I was crying out
the light over came
me
By Milton Chalmers
Stateville C.C.
There are days I want to call
on you, but you seem to be
so distant; there are days I
feel you are real, and other
days I doubt your existence…
I can not lie because you
know me, and you know I’m
weak with out you, I was in
trouble and bound in sin, and
Satan thought he had me
because of the mindset I was
in…
He tormented me day and
night, but one day I saw the
great light…
It over came the darkness in
my life, and his name is Jesus
Christ!
Thank you all for keeping my
head up and everybody that’s
doing time. God bless
everybody good or bad
Jesus Christ is the light...
A women like mine
By Malcolm Gray
Vandalia C.C.
I don’t want to be the man that
controls you,
I just wanna squeeze you and
hold you.
No going out at all times without
my better half by myside.
I only want to love and protect
you, no longer will I neglect or
disrespect you.
From here on out, there’s nothing we can’t talk about, nothing
we can’t work out, because you
are the one I care about.
We’ve been through so much
up until this time, for now on no
more lies.
No more pain, no more crying.
I'm a do everything in my power
to treat you right this time.
You are my queen, you’re an
angel, you’re one of a kind.
You’re always on my mind and I
love the way you shine.
I thank God for you over a thousand times.
It’s one person, I know is impossible to find and that person
is a women like mine...
Am I just another bad memory or
rather just a sad misery?
I long for what I never had,
knowing right from wrong, and
having a good Dad!
I’m looking evil in chains, and the
Devil within stain!
My undercover demons, my own
brothers are screaming!
Grounded in solitude, I’m
surrounded by the multitude!
Endearing to my choices, I’m
hearing voices!
I tweak and reap, this place
reaks of creeps!
So I aint sleep at night,
step too steep there'll be a fight!
These bricks and bars are my
fricking scars! Closing walls, I’m
loathing in the raw!
Trickled stares, prickle my hairs!
Eye balling, the liars calling!
Lusting for fate, but won’t bust a
fricking grape! Giving the wrath
of doom, I live in a fricking
bathroom!
This is voluntary, in solitary!
Assignment to confinement!
No more block care, no more
locked doors!
No more turn key,
I’m gonna learn how to stay free!
Page 9
V O L UM E 18 , I S S UE 7
Atonement
By Carnell Tyler
Menard C.C.
My friends I risked them,
now all three of us is caught up
in the system.
Darion and Big Rob I’m sorry for
this crime, neither one of yall
should be doing time.
Especially for something I did,
I should of learned on my first
bid.
Nowadays I do a lot of thinking,
like that stick up kid look what
you did thinking.
I pray to God, to see better
days, in hopes he change my
ways.
Darion and Big Rob I pray for
you both; and hope you pray for
me, with our families is where
we need to be.
Big Rob, Jehovah’s got your
back, so don’t stress just pray
and continue to play chess.
It’s a thinking game, God want
you at your best.
Continue to pray Darion never
again go astray, I love you both
man there's nothing much left to
say.
Twilight Zone
By Eric Snead
Danville C.C.
Burger King home of whopper
got hot dogs for sale.
Breakfast defectors choose to
ring Taco Bell!
Starbucks hot coffee is now
served chilled, KFC has
chicken now served grilled!
Now you can watch ESPN on
mobile phone,
this new dimension is like
Twilight Zone.
First it was Man of Steel
against Dark Knight, Captain
America and Iron Man now
must fight!
Hazelnut Snickers will be
coming your way, McDonald's
got breakfast anytime of the
Day!
In a elevator Prince vacated his
Throne,
is this an episode from Twilight
Zone?
Next on the agenda white
chocolate Twix, Blue berry
Oreos are also in the mix!
Artificial coloring no more in
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese,
is any honey being made with
bees?
Amazon wants to deliver
packages by drone, we have
really entered the Twilight
Zone.
I’ve ate a Banana Suzy Q and
chocolate Twinkie,
I’ve played “Rock’em Sock’em”
Robots and a Slinky!
My sister had an oven called
Easy Bake,
Hostess once made a yellow
cup cake!
From get smart to Smart T.V.
and Smart car, in Twilight Zone
I’m dumbfounded by far!
A NOTE FROM FR. KELLY
There are many who do not
seem to learn until they are in a
tight spot. It is not only prison or
jails, it is other things that happen
to us that causes us to pause and
think of our future, our lives, and
who and what is truly important.
It is a natural thing to reflect upon
our lives in these moments; it
doesn’t make us less of a person
or bad. The real issue is when we
do not learn, when we think we
can continue on the same path
and the outcome will be different.
Usually, we find ourselves in a
similar predicament.
I walked into Juvenile Detention
Center’s intake section and there
were about 5-6 youth that I remembered from before One was
only gone for about a week. In
talking to them, they admitted
that when they got out before,
they were good for a minute, but
then found themselves right
back on the block.
There is no doubt that change is
hard. It is especially hard when
people around you are not a
great influence,. There are a lot
of temptations to take the short
cut and run from the hard work
of growing up.
That is why we need to support
one another and encourage each
other to do well.
Many blessings to you and your
families.
Take good care,
Making Choices Newsletter is
a project of Kolbe House,
the jail ministry of the
Archdiocese of Chicago and
Precious Blood
Ministry of
Reconciliation .
Continue to send your
articles and poetry to :
Fr. Kelly
Making Choices
2434 S. California Ave.
Chicago, IL 60608
MAKING CHOICES
Kolbe House
2434 S. California Ave.
Chicago, IL 60608
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