Quarter 3, 2006 - Old Bangkok Bangers

July - Sept
Well it has been a hectic few months starting the new Cappie role....
The recent Phuket tour was a roaring success in that we managed to mobilise over 30
Bangers to tour. The club was well received for our rugby prowess and off field antics.
All tour members assuming pseudo names and characters for the tour however still some
have still continued to display their tour traits (Soi dog and Nightmare to mention a few)
even on their return to reality.
Long in the memories will live the sight of 30 Bangers clad in what can only be described as
Gay French resistance fighter meets Gary Glitter! To one and all a great tour. Oh yes and
we won the Vets competition beating two Hong Kong sides on the way......no mean feat.
For the time being back to reality training waiting for the next Bangers venture.
Dodgy bins, soggy pies, warm beer, uncomfortable chairs, badly placed TV’s, wash basins
that spit at ya, groping hands, hostesses with pleading looks. I could go on.
Does this sound like the sort of place where sharp beaked Kiwis, furry fluffy aussies, wild
yappie rhinos, winging poms, irish terrorists and headless french congregate to watch
RUGBY on a Saturday arvo? NO! Well one lot of fellows think so. And they are the
legendary Old Bangkok Bangers.
Why? Well I suppose its a place where you can harangue, cajole, abuse, return abuse,
argue, challenge, while watching the game and if by chance you fall down, there will always
be a mate to help you up, sit ya down and buy ya another beer.
The international footie season is now in full swing. So, when ya looking for the best place
in The Big Mango to watch a game of footie ya know where to go, and that’s to the Wall
Street on Soi 33. Remember, why ya there on a Saturday arvo. YA THERE TO WATCH
THE FOOTIE…..
It is a pleasure to put a few words to
paper for the inaugural “Banter”. I am
not too sure why I am on the right in a
slim and tallish column – it doesn’t
have too much to do with my shape
for sure. This new Banger’s year is
looking good, with a very good
performance (on and off the field) by
the chaps who went to Phuket. There
has been some good turnouts for
practices, we have had success in
our drive for sponsorship, and we
have already had 2 committee
meetings (all well attended) and
another will have been held as you
read this. More games and tours are
planned. We have also started Friday
curry lunches once month, and of
course, there is club night at Wall
Street Bar & Grill every Thursday. I
would like to mention a word of
thanks to all of our sponsors,
especially The Stirling Group, The
Regal Guesthouse, Wall Street Bar &
Grill, Transpo International, Swiss
International Air Line, and Extreme
Sports and many others who sponsor
money or time. There are some
amongst us who put a lot of time into
the organisation and success of what
we do and we should not take their
work for granted.
Finally let’s all work together to
continue this great start to a new
season, it is a tribute to those who
laid the basis for a great club –THE
OLD BANGKOK BANGERS
Andrew
Wall Street was the first pub to show Super 12 rugby live and soon had a tremendous
following. Other pubs now show the rugby live and rugby today has a big following in
Thailand.
Wall Street also started the Golden Oldies…a bunch of unfit expats over 35 who wanted to
start the movement in Thailand. After a quiet buildup the Golden Oldies has grown to be a
strength in Thai rugby. So much so Golden Oldies are now part of 7’s and 10’s
tournaments throughout Asia.
The Old Bangkok Bangers have successfully toured Brisbane, Ireland, San Diego and
soon Argentina. Locally now the Bangers have gone from strength to strength and have
many ‘trophies” on show at the clubhouse. The bar’s wall of knowledge is regularly used to
sort out firstly the latest sports questions then we sort out the problems of the world.
We have had many noted Rugby internationals here at the Wall Street and that will be a
topic for a future “Banger Banter”.
DAVID MILLS is in recovery mode.
Thanks to Banger RFC members and
their network of friends for the urgent
response to the SMS request for blood
Group B negative. It was not an easy
ask given the timeframe. Five people
stepped forward. Thanks again.
x
THE $4.5 MILLION DOLLAR MAN
THE WESTERN Force is continuing with its aggressive recruitment policy, signing Wallaby centre Matt
Giteau on a record-breaking three-year deal from 2007. It is understood he will receive $1.5 million
per season, with the amount made up of $500,000 from the Australian Rugby Union $110,000 from the
Force and $750,000 from third parties in private sponsorship and endorsement deals.
x
MISTOOK MATCH FOR A BRAWL
Russians playing a game of rugby were arrested by police last Monday, who mistook the match for a
mass brawl. “We got a call to our control room saying there was a fight involving a lot of people on
some waste ground just outside town," quoted a police official in the southern city of Rostov-on-Don as
saying. The players and supporters -- nearly 100 people in total -- were taken to the local police
station. They were released without charge when officers realized they had been playing rugby, the
news agency reported.
x
UMAGA NAMED IN QUEEN’S BIRTHDAY HONOURS
AFTER THE media furor this week over the now infamous Tana Umaga, Chris Masoe handbag
incident, the former All Black captain welcomed news that he is now an Officer of the New Zealand
Order of Merit for his services to rugby. The charismatic midfielder believes he must have made a
good impression on the Queen when the All Blacks visited Buckingham Palace last November.
It’s a pleasure to actually be asked to write something for the club as I am usually discouraged from doing so
by those who read my e-mails.
As a seasoned coach and surveyor of human imperfections I have learned through many years that player
profiling very soon becomes player defiling if you have made a wrong first impression of a players ability
and/or character. Gavin Henson springs to mind immediately, not to mention Wendel Sailor. Far below the
lofty heights of international rugby we bottom feeders of the rugby world, expat golden oldies, actually have a
unique way of ‘profiling’ potential players and club members.
Here’s the inside track on it. New players, often recruited in a bar or other place of entertainment, are
accosted with a traditional Bangers liver threatening welcome and we demand they hand over their contact
details. This usually takes the form of a business card and there, my friends, is the first piece of information
that helps me to profile the guy. I never trust people with those plasticized cards that you can’t rip up – sign of
insecurity. Guys who are ‘Regional Managers’ will not always be in town.
The petroleum industry generally divides the business world into hemispheres so if their card says ‘Southern
Hemisphere Coordinator’ better just get him as a sponsor. ‘Global Managers’ are a no no in any club. Players
who’s card changes from ‘Project Manager’ to ‘Deputy Project Manager’ may bear a grudge and be power
seekers. One of our lads actually just calls himself ‘Principal’...right on the nose as he is the principal pain in
the ass in the whole club. Once you call yourself ‘principal’ it means all the plebian rest of us are subordinates.
It’s unbelievable that players who can’t reply to a simple e-mail are ‘Communications Directors’ and there are
the damned liars who describe themselves as ‘Manager – International Division’ when you know their only
business is out of a shop house in Thong Lo.
As for one Aussie member, who dehumanises himself to an abjective pronoun ‘Concrete Solutions’, I first
thought he was a mafia hit man and gave him the address of my tax man. We have one ‘Advisor’ on the
books so that means he’s definitely dodgy and may use the club as a way to legitimize his business…just like
Rick I suppose!! I jest. I like the French way of doing things. One Banger’s business is in Thailand, his
address is Rama IV, and his job title is ‘European Sales Manager’. Run by celestial TRANSPOsition I
suppose. One of our esteemed senior members from the airline business is ‘General Manager for Thailand,
Laos, Myanmar, Cambodia, Vietnam’… couldn't he be more specific.
Why leave out all the rest of South East Asia. I don’t know what he said at the interview about Malaysia,
Singapore, Indonesia and the Philippines but he couldn’t be trusted with the whole region. I need to watch
him. As for those people who insist on putting their nickname on their card (usually Americans) they either
haven’t been told by their friends why they got the name or they think it’s an ice breaker…think again. One
huge exception to all of this is our founding president whose card I cherish… ‘John Beard – Captain
Kangaroo”. I asked why he put that on his card and he told me he lied about the Captain bit.
As for me, I confess I’m ‘Thailand Operations Manager’…TOM for short. No polygraph needed there boys.
As we enter yet another Tri Nation series, what's left of my mind, drifts back to 1959, when I was a
primary school student in Wellington. New Zealand. The big rugby story that year was the British Lions
Tour. Today, for sound TV viewership reasons, all tour matches games are played after most people,
including many of the players, have gone to bed. But in 1959, the games had to be played in the
daytime, because the electric light had not been invented yet. Also, back then the players and had not
yet discovered the power of marketing. The result was that in those days young people were actually
interested in rugby, unlike today's young people, who are much more interested in basketball, skiing,
golf and downloading dirty pictures from the Internet. But in my youth, rugby ruled. Almost all of us
boys played through Bantam Midget Junior rugby, a character-building experience that helped me
develop a personal relationship with God. ''God,'' I would say, when I had been selected as fullback the coach always put me at fullback because I would have done less damage to the team -``please,
please, don't let the ball come to me.''
Of course, God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity. Which is why, when he heard
me pleading with him, he took time out from his busy schedule to make sure the opposition ball, after a
high up and under, descended directly where I would have been standing to catch and mark the ball,
that is, if I had stood there, which I never did.. I lunged cluelessly, so that the ball landed a minimum of
10 feet from where I wound up standing. Looking back, I feel bad that the team had to suffer, because
of my lack of natural ball skill and rugby finesse.
We followed every game of the British Lions tour. It wasn't easy, because the school sports games
started while we were still in school, which for some idiot reason was not called off for the mid week
British Lion provincial games. This meant that certain students had to carry concealed transistor radios
to class. A major reason why the rest of western civilization got sofar ahead of New Zealand during the
50’s is, that while students in the rest of the civilized world were listening to their teachers explain
cosine logic, we were listening, via concealed earphones, to announcers explain how the flashy Irish
winger Tony O’Reilly soccer boots, were a secret weapon and gave him the extra yard of pace on his
opposing All Black winger Ralph Caulton. The test series went eventually won by the All Blacks, and I
vividly remember how it ended. But that’s another story
Below The Belt
The scrum-half had just suffered a severe blow in the region of his essential equipment.
The trainer ran onto the field with his first-aid gear and as he approached the injured player who was
squirming on the ground with his hands clutched between his legs, the scrum-half moaned,
'Please, don't rub 'em! Just count 'em!'
Rhino Horn Pills
First girl: 'I hear you're going out with a rugby player. Is he any good in bed?'
Second girl: 'No, not much. I got him to take some rhino-horn pills.'
First girl: 'What for?'
Second girl:: 'They're supposed to be an aphrodisiac.'
First girl: 'Did they do any good?'
Second girl: 'Yes - but the trouble is that now every time he sees a Land Rover, he charges at it.'
Dismissed The Report.
Saddam Hussein appeared on Iraqi TV this morning to quell rumours of his death in an explosion in
Baghdad yesterday. To prove that the appearance was not pre-recorded, Saddam stated that he:
“Watched the rugby on Saturday and England were crap.”
UK and US government officials have dismissed the report saying it could have happened any time
over the last 6 games.
I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat."
Ewan McKenzie Coach NSW Waratahs
With players like James Simpson-Daniel, Tom Voyce, Mark van Gisbergen, Ian Balshaw and Tom
Varndell, we’ve got a lot of pace in our back three.
Andy Robinson England Coach
Club night every Thursday night at the Wall Street, spiritual home of the Bangers.
Remember to bring your membership card to get your two free beers. The best deal in
town. Check out the Wall Street TV sport schedule for all upcoming sport, even the
World Cup Football
Once a month the Bangkok Bangers have the now infamous Banger Curry Club
lunch. Check with Shanti regarding the date and place. For those of you that have
to work, proceedings are generally over in a couple of hours. For those that want
to carry on no instructions or advice is necessary
The Bangers Golf day is back by popular demand. This hard fought event was last
staged against the fearsome Shanghai Shaggers who were sent home wounded but
with Thai "hostages". This time around the glory will be hard fought from within the club.
Subject to final confirmation it is proposed that the inaugural - "Old Bangkok Bangers
Rugby Boys Golf Tournament” - will be held at Bangkok Golf Club on Saturday 29/7/06.
Entry fee is baht 2800 per head.
Currently the field is to be closed at 8 four man teams which will enable us to keep the
day flowing, so make sure that entries are placed as soon as possible to ensure a start
in the event. Non golfers are particularly encouraged to attend the event to ensure
adequate policing and/or beverage delivery. Talk to Jake Meerman ASAP.
THE CAMBODIAN FEDERATION OF RUGBY
Angkor 10s Fri-Sat, Oct. 20-21, 2006
Phnom Penh Olympic Stadium
International rugby at the historic Olympic Stadium in Phnom Penh! You gotta be
there!!!. The Angkor 10s the nation’s premiere annual sporting competition, and
attracts teams locally, regionally and internationally.
This year’s competition has12 teams in the main tournament, and a new Veteran’s
Division. More later, but start packing your bags
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Old Bangkok Bangers RFC. 12/3 Sukhumvit. Soi 33. Bangkok. Thailand
Email : [email protected]. Website : www.oldbangkokbangers.com