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German Market illustration by Lewis Heriz
LeftLion Magazine Issue 14
December 2006-January 2007
Editor
Jared Wilson ([email protected])
Deputy Editors
Al Needham ([email protected])
Nathan Miller ([email protected])
Technical Director
Alan Gilby ([email protected])
Marketing and Sales Manager
Ben Hacking ([email protected])
Artistic Director
David Blenkey ([email protected])
Listings Editors
Florence Gohard ([email protected])
Tim Bates ([email protected])
Music Editor
Sadie Rees-Hales ([email protected])
Proofreaders
Charlotte Kingsbury ([email protected])
Natasha Chowdhury
Photography Editor
Dom Henry ([email protected])
Photographers
Ben Cipher
Dave Bevan
David Bowen
Jon Rouston
Illustrators
Alasdair Couch
Lewis Heriz
Rob White ([email protected])
Rikki Marr ([email protected])
Contributors
Amanda Young
Andy Clydesdale
James Walker
Jenny Hill
Jesse Keene
Mary Gallagher
Michelle Bayton
Paul Klotschkow
Roger Mean
Tom Hathaway
4.
5.
6.
7.
9.
10.
13.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
23.
24.
25.
26.
28.
35.
36.
37.
38.
Notts The Nine O’Clock News
Wheels of Change
Die Neue Scheiße/ All That Jezz
Live Pursuit
New Years Eve Extravaganza
The Ground Hogs
Mighty And Quite Possibly High
Natural Born Rocker
When They Were Peasants
There’s Only One Jason Lee
Striking Back
The Anti-Christmas
Through The Rocking Glass/
Electric Dreams
Lois Advert
Artists Profiles
Out and About
Nottingham Events Listings
Nottsword/ Pub Quiz
Bagels and Nottingham Zoo
Creative Writing
Horrorscopes
Magician In Residence
Jack Curtis
Welcome to the Christmas and New Year
issue of our magazine (or perhaps more
accurately newspaper – but without much
of the ‘newsy’ stuff).
We’ve been really busy recently, but in
a good way. We got shortlisted for the
Record of the Day music journalism and
PR awards in the category of Best Free
Music Magazine. So Alan (the Technical
Director and co-founder of LeftLion) and I
went down to the awards ceremony at the
100 Club on Oxford Street to schmooze it
up with a room of predominately Londonbased hacks. Unfortunately we didn’t win
the award, but we made the most of the
free bar and those little nibbly bits of food
they serve up on silver trays. We were
also happy to participate in the industries
favourite sport of backslapping, but with
a twist… we had LeftLion stickers in our
hands! By the end of the night everyone
from the Editor of the NME to an American
guy who claimed to be the PR for American
rock band Mr Big were inadvertently
repping our style!
In this issue you’ll find the usual mix of
features and interviews with people from
Nottingham and beyond. Kasabian are
playing at the Ice Arena in December, so
we got them in for a chat. Likewise with
Belle and Sebastian who play at the Social
and Hollywood icon Juliette Lewis, who
we caught up with after her recent gig at
Rescue Rooms.
I got to put some questions to two of my
current favourite people, Noel Fielding of
the Mighty Boosh (who has been making
me laugh a lot via the medium of DVD) and
Jason Lee (who’s been making me happy
as a County fan by banging in the goals at
Meadow Lane).
We also feature a range of great
Nottingham-based acts who will be
performing at LeftLion gigs over the next
couple of months including Formication,
The Smears, Nuclear Family, DJ Squigley,
Das Ragworms, Jezz Hall, Sidearm,
Bassrooster and Alice Rock (Happy
birthday to you).
So, buoyed on by a bit of acclaim from the
music journalism industry, we have grand
plans to take LeftLion to the next level in
2007. Stick with us, it’ll be a fun journey…
Emigrating to Ireland
Paul Dilger
”It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came
without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and
puzzled ‘till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of
something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought,
doesn’t come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means
a little bit more.”
Dr. Seuss
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
from all our crew!
[email protected]
LeftLion
349a Mansfield Road
Nottingham
NG5 2DA
0115 9123782
If you would like to reach our readers by advertising your
company in these pages please contact Ben on 07843 944910
or email [email protected]
LeftLion magazine has an estimated readership of 40,000
in the city of Nottingham. In September 2006 LeftLion.co.uk
received over 450,000 page views.
Nominated as Best Free Music Magazine in the UK
Record of the Day Awards 2006
www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14
3
nOTTs THE NINE
O’CLOCK NEWS
THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT WINTER
I only like winter when I’m looking out from
a warm house, wrapped in a blanket with a
cup of tea thinking “I don’t have to go out for
anything. Yesssss.”
Nuclear B-Boy
The clear skies you get on cold, wintery nights.
Frost forming on trees and sparkling at night time.
I love the fact that the moon is closest to the Earth
at this point of the year. Mulled wine, making
soups with fresh bread, hearing the frosty ground
crunch under your feet. I love winter.
Sara
Winter is good because I hate the feeling of
sweat on my body when it’s warm, and you
don’t sweat much in winter. It’s also the time
you are most likely to get a good blanket of
snow, and everyone knows snow rocks.
BRJ
I love getting all wrapped up in hats and
gloves and big coats. I love getting up in the
morning when it’s still dark and having to run
into the shower to warm up. I love getting
home from work when it’s nearly dark outside
and coming into a warm cosy house with a hot
cup of tea waiting for me.
LadyBee
I like winter because I’m not an outdoorsy
person, and in winter nobody says things
like “Don’t waste the whole day cooped up in
here,” etc etc.
pollypocket
1. Can start bustin’ beanies without having to
consider other hat options.
2. Hot squash is an acceptable alternative to
coffee.
3. White wine out - Red wine in.
4. The cold can be used as an excuse for
drinking brandy/carrying hipflask.
5. New Year’s Eve missions.
Mr.Dubbs
PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO LIVE
IN CITY CENTRE PONCE BOXES
People in places like New York and London
like city apartments because they don’t want
to spend three hours a day commuting. But in
Nottingham you can get from anywhere in the
city to the city centre in half an hour at most
- fucking hell, if you live in Sherwood or the
Meadows, you can actually walk to work if you
feel like it.
Lord of the Nish
It’s unforgivable the way developers expect to
be thanked for urban regeneration when it’s
so obviously money grabbing - and coming
undone at that.
David
What would be a better thing to do with
buildings that are no longer used for industry
in the city centre, let them rot and fall down?
There’s a fair few new builds but also lots of
conversions, which can only be a good thing.
Making use of buildings that are always there
and retaining some character is okay in my
book…
theonelikethe
Redeveloping the buildings physically is
absolutely the right thing to do. And some
of them look fantastic. But the economic and
social benefits of this ‘regeneration’ are as real
as Posh’s tits.
Mrs Hood
Britain’s new build housing is the smallest
per square feet in Europe. In thirty years
time we’ll be knocking down all these crappy
apartments. This isn’t Tokyo for god’s sake;
let’s have some high ceilings and big rooms.
pandapad
with Nottingham’s ‘Mr. Sex’ Al Needham
1 October
£700,000 gets spent on the improvement of Canning Circus.
Pathetically, they don’t spend it on trapezes, clown cars,
elephants and other things that would make the place live up
to its name.
4 October
Goose Fair opens, selling peas for a pound a pot. Let me say
that again, but this time in bold; peas for a pound a pot. A
pound. For a pot. Of peas.
5 October
An incredibly vital survey commissioned by Nottingham
University discovers that 97% of people who won more than a
million quid on the lottery were happier than they were before.
What next? Maybe they ought to commission an expedition in
the woods to see what that strange brown stuff that hangs out
of bears’ arseholes is.
7 October
Sorry, but I’m gonna have to say it one more time; a pound for
a pot of peas.
8 October
Non-black cabbies hold a protest march in town over the fact that
they can’t use the same routes in the city centre that the Hackney
cabs use. Unsurprisingly, the march veers right off course, goes
through all the back streets away from its destination, and stops to
look at an A to Z with the meter still running. Twice!
16 October
He’s a Record Breaker! David Wyler of Notts gets done for growing
the strongest weed ever found in the UK. Forensic scientists
discover his gear (grown in a house in Ilkeston) contains a 29%
THC content, enough to stun a rhinoceros and make it walk about
in the Square and wave its cock at the window of Wetherspoons.
27 October
David ‘Let’s headhunt a Pizzeria and watch a football
club dive down the toilet’ Platt sues Forest for a £50,000
performance bonus. Yes, he’s a fish-faced cock-bucket, but
what the fuck were Forest doing offering fifty grand as a reward
for getting to 11th in the Second Division?
30 October
Local news story of the bi-month that sounds like a bad
Irvine Welsh novel. A smackhead in St Anns leaves her dead
neighbour to rot down to a skelly in his bed for six months so
she can spend his pension on gear.
8 November
Some poor sod is shot outside a pub in Bulwell, dumped in the
boot of a car and left in Papplewick. Fucking hell, why didn’t
they cut his tab off to Stuck In The Middle With You while they
were at it?
10 November
Cor Blimey O’Reilly! Town is absolutely invaded by lesbians
for the weekend, as Pink and the Scissor Sisters play the Arena
on consecutive nights.
11 November
The Institution of Civil Engineers announce that our tram system
is the bestest, acest, skillest and wicked-bad-freshest in the UK.
Next time I see one in town, I’m going to touch and lick it.
The last chance of a Forest-County match this season goes for
a toss in the first round of the FA Cup. Forest tonk Yeading,
Notts lose to Orient. Sigh.
19 October
13 November
Just like Prince, The Airport Formerly Known As East
Midlands wants to change its fucking name again, because
Derby and Leicester are whining like the mardy little bitches
they are. In that case, I suggest they change it to ‘SheepShagging Jumper-Making Gun-Crime Airport’.
20 October
Broadway reopens. Hmm. The Paul Smith double seats are
supposed to be ace, but I’m not sure about the downstairs bar.
It’s a bit like a medieval banqueting suite designed by Habitat.
21 October
West Bridgford slips through the time-space continuum and
reappears in the 1980s, as a wine bar gets smashed up by
Bristol City hooligans. Sadly, Howard Jones doesn’t turn up to
shake hands with folk and generally calm things down whilst
singing Like To Get To Know You Well. Shame, that.
22 October
Local police claim to find cocaine in 24 of 28 bars in the Off-YourFace Market. They were obviously too busy chewing the sides of
their mouths, talking a right load of shit in the other four then.
14 November
Researchers claim that the Playhouse generates £13m a year
for the local economy. Ever bought a round in there to impress
the fanny? You’ll know why, then.
15 November
The shitbag who stabbed that student lad outside Brownes
gets banged up. Hurrah!
18 November
Real man of the bi-month; the manager of Gedling Southbank,
who made his missus sit with him during their vital clash
against Awsworth Villa even though she had gone into labour
before the match.
Bulwell, obviously a bit miffed that Bestwood is getting all
the attention these days, roars back into contention with a
stabbing.
21 November
23 October
The council announce that they’re spending another £650,000
on rubbish bins - which is nearly one for every Greggs and
Subway in town.
Carl Froch wins his latest fight in the Ice Arena. Some other
twats in the audience who weren’t even getting paid for it won
their’s an’all, in a chair-throwing jamboree during the interval.
The bell-ends.
24 October
25 November
Uh oh - the first jailing for Council Tax evasion goes down,
with some bloke getting forty days in the naughty room for
running up a £2,700 debt.
Well, about fucking time! Two new tram lines are announced,
which will run through Clifton, Chilwell and Beeston. Fact:
since the first one was opened two and a bit years ago, our
26 October
An unbelievably fuckwitted bent copper gets sent down for
passing on information about murder witnesses to crims via the
manager of Limeys (the sort of clothes shop you go to kit out
for your next court appearance) in exchange for a discount on
chatty clobber. Yep, you read that right - innocent people with
info on the Marian Bates and Stirlands murders were put at
risk because some cunt wanted 50% off a Stone Island jumper.
Funnily enough, the last time I went past there, they were
having a half price sale. That’s irony, Alanis Morissette!
17 October
25 October
4
twin city in Germany has knocked out fourteen of the bastards.
Moaning about the new tram lines starts. Already. For fuck’s sake.
24 November
A 16 year-old crack dealer from St Anns is caught by the police
trying to swallow 22 wraps of smack and coke, despite being
fitted with a pacemaker. Fucking hell, why stop there? Wasn’t
there a microwave he could have rubbed against his chest while
he was at it?
27 November
Did I mention that it cost a quid for a pot of peas at Goose Fair?
Wheels Of Change
words: Mary Gallagher (of The Big Wheel)
We’d all like to change the world. But let’s face it first we’re
going to have to change ourselves… just a little bit.
TWO NEW TRAM LINES
APPROVED
£578m?! Phew that’s steep! Not cheap these trams are
they? Bring ‘em on though I say. They seem more reliable,
safer and faster than buses.
BRJ
I was really sceptical about the trams at first but they’re
turning out to be great if I’m honest. As someone who
doesn’t drive, between the trams and the bus getting
around Notts has never been easier.
I Got Connected To A Freaky Phone
The environment is a big issue at the moment. There are
more statistics out than ever before, telling us about the
dangers of what will happen to our global atmosphere if we
don’t act now and about the damage we’ve already done.
Did you know that globally we need to cut greenhouse gas
emissions by 60% by 2050 if we are to avoid catastrophic
climate change? Or that the warmth produced by global
climate change so far is the equivalent of a one watt light
bulb shining constantly over an area of one square meter
everywhere on the planet? Facts like these are in the
newspapers, on the television and radio and they should
(and do) worry most of us. But are you sick of them yet? ‘It’s
all doom and gloom!’ I hear you cry.
Well, how about we try a different approach? Instead of
focusing on the downright miserable, why not focus on the
fact that we can change the long term effects of climate
change by changing the way we live now - most of us are
trying in little or big ways. If you want to make a difference
it is possible, easy and it won’t hurt your wallet!
backed by councils and companies across the city. The
Big Wheel are committed to keeping our city moving and
looking after our environment - for the sake of a clean, green
city that can grow.
Public transport really does make a difference. Not only
does it cut the number of cars on the roads, which cause
traffic and noise pollution, but it significantly reduces the
amount of carbon dioxide produced per person in each
journey taken. Did you know a double-decker bus carries
the same amount of people as 20 fully laden cars? Add to
that the fact that ten miles in a petrol car produces roughly
four kilograms of carbon dioxide, whereas ten miles in a bus
produces only one kilogram by comparison. With facts like
these you can really grasp what a difference our transport
choices make to the environment. Also don’t forget the
massive financial savings you can make every year by
leaving your car at home. It only costs £350 for a whole
year’s unlimited travel on NET and NCT transport. Compare
that to the costs of running your car.
Why not try concentrating on the way you get around
Nottingham for a start? Nottingham’s public transport
system and the way we use it is improving all the
time. Public transport is important and something the
whole nation should focus on if we are ever going to cut
emissions. It’s looking good in Nottingham; we’re bucking
the national trend, with lots of people getting back on the
bus over the last year. There were over 75 million trips on
public transport in 2005 and there has been an impressive
increase of nearly six percent of passengers over the last
four years. If you’re on of those passengers give yourself a
pat on the back!
But remember, you don’t just have to use the bus to travel
in an eco-friendly way. Why not get on your bike or start
walking for a change? If saving the planet and your bank
balance isn’t enough motivation here are a few more
fascinating facts to leave you with:
The Big Wheel is all about sustainable transport and we’re
trying to show people in Nottingham just how easy it is to
get from A to B in an environmentally friendly way. It brings
together bus, tram, train, car, cycling and walking and is
Cyclists and pedestrians absorb lower levels of pollutants
from fumes than car drivers.
A fifteen minute bike ride to and from work five times a
week burns off the equivalent of eleven pounds of fat in a
year!
The average driver will spend fourteen days of their lives
waiting for traffic lights to change.
www.thebigwheel.org
Have to agree that the trams seem more reliable than the
buses, but I do wonder what the buses might be like if
they had £578 million spent on them. That’s £914 for every
person in the Greater Nottingham area.
MetricMike
It’s worth the effort, especially since 75% of the money
will come from central governmentt. The current line is
great with the only drawback being that it is alone, so
connections to buses are still needed to reach much of the
city outskirts.
bophoto
I think people arguing against the expansion of the tram
system are short-sighted. Granted they’re gonna have to
tear up some green spaces and unavoidably piss a few
people off but in the long run it’s better for the city, the
economy and the environment. Traffic in Nottingham is
an absolute nightmare. This would alleviate the massive
bottleneck on Derby Road between the Uni campus and
The Park.
myhouse-yourhouse
Look at what it has done for Hucknall too: it seems to have
boomed around that commuter route area - also it allows
people to buy houses in cheaper areas and still not be faced
with a commuting issue. In my opinion though, the Clifton
line won’t solve any congestion issues unless they build a
massive carpark like Pheonix Park on greenbelt land off the
A453 as an artery to the motorway.
Ben Cipher
Having lived in Long Eaton, the park and ride at The
Forest was one of the best things traffic-wise that I can
remember... haven’t been in a multi-storey in years since I
discovered that. And they’re putting one in at the Bardills
Island too, which is fantastic for that side of town. Plus,
the trams are pretty much always clean and on time, and if
you’re lucky you can sometimes get away with a free ride.
Sofy
5
Die Neue
Scheiße
Das Ragworms are a crazy band whose
name translates from German as… erm The
Ragworms! With strong links to the bunch
of scribblers at The Lurking Hole, what else
would you expect? Anyway they’ve been
making a few appearances around Notts
of late, not least at December’s LeftLion
Unplugged. So we caught up with them for a
spot of chinwagging… words: Andy Clydesdale
So for the uninformed, who the hell are Das Ragworms
and what do they do?
Witkowski: Das Ragworms is the bastard spawn of the small
town mentality combined with a healthy dose of love, death
and homemade wine. We play dance songs for the damned,
doomed and downtrodden heroes of rural pastures. Rejoice!
Vasey: We are Vasey and Witkowski, together we’re Das
Ragworms and we’re here to remind folk that it’s okay to
take a sweetie as long as they take a sit in our car.
Which one of you is most likely to be the ‘Poster Boy?’
Witkowski: Vasey, for his strong and aerodynamic nasal
features and moustache. He’s already a poster boy back home.
Vasey: Our drummers are usually very handsome chaps but
now all we have left of them is a pile of bodies in our cellar.
So it’s me!
What makes you do what you do?
Vasey: Dogs tell us to do it and its fun.
Witkowski: We’ve done it ever since the old man made my
first guitar when I was nineteen. Vasey’s old boy happened
to make him a bass around the same time. Then ol’ ma taught
us all these shanties, and it wasn’t long before we were
writing our own. The first record I remember buying, no shit,
was Timmy Mallet. Do you remember what yours was?
Witkowski: Don’t swear! I think mine was The Bonnie Ship
the Diamond by Lloyd or some such thing. Still listen to that
beauty today.
Vasey: The first time I was personally inspired to buy a
record was when I heard the clatter of my horse’s hoof hit
All that
Jezz...
From a toddler listening to Elvis, to learning
to play like blues legend Mississippi John
Hurt, Jezz Hall has come a long way. With his
collection of musicians playing the likes of
double bass, cello, mandolin and fiddle, the
Jezz Hall Band carry Nottingham audiences
into deep America through an array of folk
and blues traditions. We liked them so much
last time they played LeftLion Unplugged that
we thought we’d ask them back for more…
words: Andy Clydesdale
How long have you been playing Nottingham for?
Well I first played in Nottingham many moons ago at the
Running Horse, which was the first time I’d ever played
anywhere. I started playing regularly about ‘95 or ‘96, but
it’s only the last four years that I’ve been playing and touring
out of town, mainly on the folk scene, although I don’t think
that’s where I belong. So after recording the last CD I’ve
taken a step back to look at where it is I see myself going.
In your music I hear a little Bonnie Prince Billy, Lou Reed
and a lot of Dylan. Are these your influences?
I’d like to be very careful about quoting influences because
they get taken out of context and come back to haunt
you. But the names you have mentioned have all spent
considerable time in my CD player. I also really like old
time American folk music and I learned fingerstyle picking
6
photo: Dave Bevan
solid stone. So I went out and seen a record with a picture of
a man riding on the front and sold I was.
I’ve heard Vasey may just be a figment of my mate’s
imagination as he keeps mysteriously appearing in his
house after parties. Will you be bringing the party to The
Malt Cross come 12 December?
Vasey: Yes. You’ll see me there. I’m as real as Jack the Ripper
Witkowski: And there’s sure to be singing and dancing
a-plenty.
What’s been the biggest highlight of 2006 for you?
Vasey: August the fifth! Manrod! Ol’ moot hall inn.
Witkowski: Playing Beastmangoat’s Manrodeo barn dance
extravaganza at the Old Moot Hall on Denzil’s day. That was a
hoot alright. Handsome crowd and a handsome venue.
The lowlight?
Witkowski: Probably about an hour later having to go
to Accident and Emergency after Vasey started on two
skinheads who called him Mercury. We’d have had ‘em
normally but someone spiked our mead and we fell down.
Vasey: Brumingham was a disaster. I don’t think we even
finished the set.
Witkowski: Whose fault was that?
Vasey: Yours!
Witkowski: Piss off.
Vasey: Don’t swear!
What does the future hold for Das Ragworms?
Vasey: More gigs, more stupidity and far more drummer deaths.
Witkowski: Only God knows what the future holds. Who you
calling stupid?
If you weren’t answering these questions now what
would you be doing?
Witkowski: There’s always something to be done around
the farm.
Vasey: Whisky and wine always bring home the good times.
Das Ragworms play LeftLion Unplugged
at the Malt Cross on Tuesday 12 December 2006
www.dasragworms.co.uk
from Mississipi John Hurt records. Doc Watson and John
Hartford are two others to spring to mind and I’ve got to
mention Kate Bush.
I understand you’ve spent a lot of time in Mississippi.
How did this affect your song writing?
I was already writing songs when I went out there
but when I came back I was much more excited about
it because my head was full of experiences. I met the
bluesman RL Burnside whilst out there and I also met an
old fife player. He was called Othar Turner and was ninety
years old at the time. He shared some of his moonshine
with me, which was very nice of him.
You have two previous releases Smalltown and When the
Music is Over. Tell us about them…
They are very different but they do follow on from each
other I think. Smalltown was me having fun playing
with different styles and learning to find my voice as
a songwriter. When the Music is Over is a much more
cohesive album, its also darker and much more reflective.
When is your next release?
I’m very excited about the next record, I think it will be
the one I’ve been working towards making. I’m very
happy about the songs and I think me and Andy (Hill)
have learned the right approach to recording me. That is
to keep things simple and to give me space to play live.
My favourite recording from the last CD was a track called
Meadow by the Sea, which was me on voice and guitar, Phil
Jackson on mandolin and Wayne Evans on double bass all
just sat around in a circle. We ended up using the first take
and that’s the approach we are going to take with the next
one.
There are sure to be countless potential Jezz Hall fans
reading this. Convince them to come to see you at the
Malt Cross in January…
Well… I’m trying to create and capture something beautiful
but simple when I’m on stage, I try to use phrasing and the
silent spaces inbetween to draw people in. Maybe I’ll have
some friends on stage with me playing bass and fiddle I
don’t know yet. But it will be good! Come down or else I’ll
burgle your house.
Jezz Hall plays LeftLion Unplugged at the Malt Cross on
Tuesday 16 January 2006
www.jezzhall.com
On 15 December The Social will play host to a
special party to celebrate the end of term. To help
with the celebrations, Chris Geddes and Richard
Colburn from Scotland’s pre-eminent jangly,
indie-popsters Belle and Sebastian will be heading
down to spin a few tunes to get everyone dancing.
LeftLion caught up with Richard in his home in
Scotland… words: Paul Klotschkow
Hello Richard, how are you?
Hi, I’m good thanks!
Where are you?
I’m currently at home, which is a small fishing village just
south of St Andrews. I’ve lived here for about eight years.
Have you been up to much recently?
I was visiting a friend up in Glasgow last night. So I just did
the drive back down today.
Belle and Sebastian have been a bit quiet since the
summer. What have you been doing?
The band finished touring the album (The Life Pursuit
released in February) in September, the tour finished over
in Japan. It is likely that we won’t be doing anything until
January, we are taking a well earned rest. We don’t have any
new songs yet. But people in the band are always thinking
about the next album. There are probably a few demos of
new songs, but we haven’t talked about recording yet.
You’re coming down to The Social on 15 December to do a
DJ set. What can we expect?
Me and Chris from the band are coming down, we’ve DJed
a few times together before and its always fun. When I DJ
I like to spread genres, mix it up a bit but still get people
dancing. Chris DJs more than me, I have periods when I DJ
loads then periods when I don’t do anything, which could
be anything up to a year.
Do you know Nottingham well?
Yeah, I’ve been to Nottingham a few times in the past and
from what I can remember it is always good. I’ve actually
played at The Social four or five times, I even played there
with Snow Patrol a few years back and I did a gig with the
Reindeer Section too. I don’t think we will hear anything
new from the Reindeer Section in the near future, Gary
(Lightbody) is too busy with Snow Patrol at the moment.
I’m sure he wants to get round to doing something with the
Reindeer Section eventually, but right now he just doesn’t
have the time.
It’s going to be Christmas soon. What has been the worst
Christmas present that you have ever received?
A few years back I got a pretty random present. I got a
metal detector of all things, I’ve never used it… it’s still in
its box. It seems a hassle to get it out and use it. I would
need to go to a beach, take a spade to dig up the sand. It’s
all too much effort…
Avoiding metal detectors, what would you like to get this
year for Christmas?
I’ve just recently started to get into cooking, so some
cookery books would be nice. Do I have a speciality? No, no
speciality as yet, but I have been baking a lot of bread. It
is pretty easy to experiment with, baking different types of
bread, which is fun.
Belle and Sebastian played the world renowned
Hollywood Bowl in the summer backed by an orchestra.
That must have been a great experience?
Oh yes, it was an extraordinary experience. It was the
craziest, most brilliant gig I have ever played. We played it
in front of 18,000 fans with the LA Philharmonic Orchestra.
To have an orchestra behind me while I was drumming felt
really powerful. It is something I will never forget! Plus to
play at the Hollywood Bowl, which is such a prestigious
venue, is a real honour.
What are your other outstanding gig memories?
Loads of gigs have been great, you know? When we first
did Top of the Pops that was pretty special, just because it
was a television institution and we were pretty unknown
at the time. The first Glastonbury we did was great, but
Glastonbury always is, as was the first Benicassim festival
that we did. It is nice to go to a festival and have good
weather. We also once played a festival down in Brazil.
Thich was another great experience as it is not somewhere
you get the chance to play often.
Have Belle and Sebastian had any really terrible gigs?
Not that many have been rubbish. There are a couple. One
of them was when Isabelle (Campbell) was still in the
band. She had been feeling ill and just as the support band
finished she got worse and was unable to play. So Chris
had to go on in front on the audience who had been waiting
there all night for us and apologise for the band cancelling
the gig. Then we went to Germany once to a festival and
it was the most ramshackle festival I have ever seen… it
wasn’t fun at all.
Do you have any messages for the LeftLion readers?
Yeah, Nottingham is a great place and just always make
sure to have a good time. I hope that when we come down
to DJ at The Social on 15 December, we pick the right tunes
and that everyone enjoys it.
Belle and Sebastian play at the Social
on Friday 15 December 2006.
www.belleandsebastian.com
7
��
The Smears
What are your plans for the festive
season?
Emma: Going home to see my family,
opening my Christmas presents too
early, drinking and eating too much,
tormenting my nephews and seeing
the girls.
Miss C: It’s my birthday on Christmas
Day so I plan to drink myself blind
drunk and eat lots of twiglets
and pickled onions. Also, as well
as working full time, I study at
Nottingham Trent Uni’s business
school and have my first exam at the
beginning of January.
C Doll: Drinking, celebrating Miss
C’s birthday on Christmas Day and
hopefully more drinking.
What’s the best Christmas present
you’ve ever been bought?
Miss C: My best Christmas present
will be this year I get a new niece or
nephew to play with.
Emma: A massive CD stereo off my
Mum and Dad when I was about
DJ Squigley Ohmygosh
season?
Putting my feet up and drinking a
lot! We’ve got a Festive Funk night
on 29 Dec at the Pelhams with Andre
Bonsor from Schmoov! and Ravi from
Percussion. That should be a laugh!
My two front teeth.
So what were the highlights of 2006
for you?
It’s been a good year for us. We toured
Croatia and Japan and moved the
shop to Mansfield Road. We achieved
a lot of goals both professionally and
personally. I also got engaged this
year which was good.
What are your plans for 2007?
More touring. We’re currently
planning tours in Brazil, Australia and
Nuclear Family
season?
Charlotte: Lots of walks, cooking
and eating with friends and family,
and counting my blessings. Oh, and
writing two essays for my Masters
degree. Damn!
Mike: Just relaxing and writing some
new music, possibly while eating a
Chocolate Orange.
Nima: To finally catch Santa.
Rob: Eating, drinking, partying,
buying presents, receiving presents
and sharing my love with family
(Nuclear and otherwise) and friends.
But most of all, being thankful that I
have the freedom and financial ability
to do so.
Nima: A GoBot.
Charlotte: Probably an A La
Carte Kitchen when I was tiny.
twelve. It was so huge! Oh and
Optimus Prime when I was about
eight.
C Doll: Too many to mention. I’m
spoilt!
Sidearm
for The Smears?
Miss C: Supporting The Buzzcocks
on the main stage at Rock City and
playing Drop in the Ocean.
C Doll: We’ve played some wicked
gigs all over the country and met
some really cool people.
Emma: Writing some amazing tunes,
getting our single recorded by Dan
Knowles (Amusement Parks on Fire)
and getting Rikki Marr to help
with artwork.
What can people expect from your
set at the NYE Extravaganza?
Emma: Everything they want and more.
Miss C: I think we should come up
with something special for this one. I
reckon lots of sexy female dancers.
C Doll: All our fastest tracks played
back-to-back and some kinky outfits.
back to Tokyo again. We’re looking
to release more on the Ohmygosh
Records label. Also in the early spring
we’re launching an artist management
company. It’s non-stop really.
What are your plans for the festive season?
The usual we guess… Get some sherry and cigars down our
necks, eat a bit of turkey, play half a game of monopoly, write
some new songs and piss off the neighbours. Oh, and a couple
of us are off to All Tomorrows Parties.
What’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever been
bought?
Ben: A red Manta Force spaceship
Si: Eammon Holmes calendar 2004
Neil: A Scalectrix set with the little people cheering.
Phil: A hobby horse and the pure love of Christ.
Anything else you want to say?
Miss C: Smears fans - send me a
birthday greeting at www.myspace.
com/miss_caulton and if you see me
out buy me a drink sharpish.
What can people expect from your set at the NYE
Extravaganza?
www.myspace.com/smearsuk Joy, sorrow, pain, anguish, lust, anger, screams of ecstasy,
weirdness, strobes, visuals, sweat, blood, eyeliner, mascara,
lights, camera action…
Anything else you want to say…?
We have a gig at Rock City on 7 December to warm up for
NYE, and we’d like to say a big thanks to our good friends
Andy (Audio Massage) and Will (I’m Not From London) for all
the quality shows they’ve put on for us and many others.
100mph back flipping breaks with
uppers, downers and round-about-ers!
I’d like to say thanks to everyone who
has supported us and the shop for
the past 3 ½ years and all the people
who have been to our events. Big up
to Ninety, Rhino, Ital, all the artists
who have performed for us, DSF, The
Elementz, Karizma, Cappo, Konny
Kon, Swampfoot, 45, Cmone, Furious
P, Dirty Joe, Mista Jam, Joe Buhdha,
The P Brothers, Big Trev and Nottz
innanuttin. All the promoters who are
making things happen in Nottingham,
Dealmaker, Camouflage, Spectrum,
Detonate, Sureshot, Basement
www.sidearmtheband.com
Boogaloo and finally Leftlion for
putting it all out there. Keep up the
hard work!
www.ohmygosh.co.uk
Unfortunately for my parents I took
the advert as a kind of guide and
insisted on bringing them cold beans
at 6am on a Sunday morning. I loved it!
Mike: An AT-AT from Star Wars.
Rob: A box of love. That can’t be
bought. Take that consumerism!
for The Nuclear Family?
Rob: For me, progress in reaching for
my T.O.E (Theory of Everything). For the
band - Charlotte completing the family.
Charlotte: Our gigs at Drop in the
Ocean and for LeftLion were super fun.
Nima: Personal highlights include
defeating Cobra Kai and learning to love.
Mike: There’ve been too many
highlights to list!
Mike: A nice surprise.
Charlotte: Funky juicy pretty dreamy
crumbly politico-pop confections. Well
not crumbly. That would just be silly, eh?
So what were the highlights of 2006 for Sidearm?
We did a 2 week UK tour in the summer which was amazing fun,
we played with Tired Irie which was ace…er, we also got our
home-made video played a few times on Organ TV on Sky and
recorded a new ep (available at Selectadisc!)
Bassrooster
To get merrily wasted on Christmas Eve and spend the
majority of Christmas day wishing that I hadn’t.
What’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever been bought?
A Super Nintendo with Street Fighter 2. Hadoken!
So what were the highlights of 2006 for you and Majik?
With the band, it has to be finishing our tour off at The Electric
Ballroom, which is a blinding venue and being spoilt by Deep
Purple’s light show, which we managed to blag at the last
minute. Drop In The Ocean for the fact it’s shown me a great
time both years and long may it continue. Also, not waking up
in as many awkward situations as the year before and having to
explain myself to friends, relatives, the police and parents is nice.
Nima: Twelve songs, each themed
around a different month from 2006.
Nima: Happy Winterval.
Charlotte: Peace and goodwill to all.
Mike: God bless us, every one.
Rob: Why be surprised when things
you expect to happen occur? Reach
for your T.O.E!
Majik have a single for release in February, and another tour
booked around the same time. As for me, I’m planning to jaunt
around England on the rail network with nowt but a bass
guitar and my wits (except possibly a change of clothes) and
catch up with all the people I have promised to meet up with
and never got round to visiting.
What can people expect from you at the NYE Extravaganza?
Songs to surprise those who have heard my work with Majik. I
have some cracking special guests lined up, some of Nottsrock’s
www.myspace.com/nukefam finest. All performed with a big smile and Christmas cheer!
LeftLion New Years Eve Extravaganza at the Orange Tree. Tickets £10 (advance)
available from The Orange Tree, Selectadisc or online at www.leftlion.co.uk/tickets.
Anything else you want to say…?
Come to The Orange Tree on New Years Eve. Go on. We’ll
have a party. It’ll be great. Kiss my beak.
www.myspace.com/majikrock
9
Breakdancing has been an integral part of hiphop
culture since the beginning: the name ‘b-boy’ comes
from ‘break boys’, the guys who would only dance to the
breaks in the records played at block parties in NYC by
DJs like Kool Herc and Grand Wizard Theodore.
As hiphop spread across the five boroughs and inevitably
the world, the b-boys followed in crews like Rock Steady
and The Dynamic Rockers. It wasn’t until Rock Steady
performed for Malcom McLaren and Bow Wow Wow at the
Ritz, that people on the fringes of the underground scene
started to take breakdance seriously. Afrika Bambaataa
played a big part in bringing breaking to the masses by
teaming breakers up with sound systems and DJs and
taking them on tour with The Soul Sonic Force. By the mideighties breaking and hiphop were literally joined at the
hip. Nowadays crews exist all over the globe from Korea to
Australia.
Here in Big Nottz we have our own resident b-boys who
hold the spirit of the culture and bring their own take on
something that now has over thirty years of heritage. The
Ground Hogs were originally part of a crew called All
Torque but have formed a more scaled down and refined
outfit looking to do big things in 2007. LeftLion went to
ask them what makes the world spin 360 degrees on its
head…
How did you meet up and form the crew?
The Ground Hogs consists of Jay, A.I. and Leo. We have
danced together for a few years and all been part of
different crews at some point but recently we decided to
get serious and start our own dance company.
Where do your influences lie?
The whole b-boy scene, from old school foundation moves to the
more extreme new school power moves. Popping and locking
have also influenced us a lot, as they take time and effort to
master and obviously the music influences the dance more than
anything else, with funk breaks and hiphop old and new.
Where did the name Ground Hogs come from?
It really came from the film Groundhog Day, where Bill Murray is
reliving the same day every day and always trying to break the
cycle… the idea seemed to reflect what we’re all about. Also bboys have a tendency to hog the dance floor so there’s ya double
meaning.
Have you been getting any wider recognition outside the
breaking scene?
We got seen by Dance 4, the East Midlands national dance
agency and just finished doing our summer tour with them
which was very successful. We gained a huge amount of positive
feed back from children and parents, so we’re enjoying the
performances and teaching at the moment.
How important do you feel breakdancing is to hiphop culture?
B-boyin’ is the expressive dance form of hiphop. It’s as
important as the rest of the elements that make up hiphop as a
whole. Hiphop is what it is; if you don’t respect the
other elements within hiphop, then you’re not hiphop,
straight up!
What are your feelings on how b-boys are
represented? You can turn on the TV and see
breaking on a McDonalds advert or whatever…
As long as you’re true to the b-boy art form and know
about the culture and don’t sell out by altering
your dance form then you can do what you want.
Fakers who’ve learned a backspin, a windmill or a
somersault to impress the girls on a Saturday night
are not representative of b-boys and should stick to
what they know.
What’s next on the agenda?
We all like teaching in schools and choreographing
youth performances but it would be nice to dance on
a world class stage as well as the usual grass slope
at a festival or dirty club dance floor.
www.myspace.com/groundhogs_uk
11
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words: Jared Wilson
Magic hair products, a talking gorilla, a zoo owner who doesn’t know the names of any
animals and the eternal battle between Gary Numan and jazz funk. These are just a few
of the things that make up the surreal world of The Mighty Boosh - one of the best new
comedies I’ve seen on telly in ages! Created by Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding, if you
haven’t seen it yet take a few sick days off work and get yourself under the duvet with a
copy of the DVD set. It’s comedy, but not as we know it, with no satire, no swearing and no
formal ‘jokes’ - yet it’s strangely compelling. One half of the duo is in Hood Town for standup, doing the Just The Tonic Christmas special at the Theatre Royal in December. We caught
up with the man with the mighty hair known as Noel…
What are you up to today?
We’ve got to write the third series of the Mighty Boosh so
I’m supposed to be meeting Julian but actually I’m meeting
my mate Richard from Garth Marenghi instead. We’re
writing together too, so I’m doing an afternoon with him
and having a day off from the Boosh.
So how did you first get into comedy and who were your
inspirations?
I quite liked Bill Cosby when I was growing up. I think my
mum and dad had some of his albums when he used to do
stand-up and they’re kind of little stories about him when
he was a kid and stuff. Quite gentle but nice and surreal.
I also really liked Monty Python when it was on telly and
anything by Vic Reeves and Chris Morris. But I wanted to
be a painter and went to art school. I just got sidetracked
into comedy. It was a mistake… I’m trying to get out but
I’m trapped!
Are you one of those comedians who are not funny in
real life?
No I’m hilarious… but I suppose that’s debatable isn’t it?
I think I’m much more sarcastic in real life, it’s a London
thing maybe. Down here people are quite yappy and they
kind of take the piss out of each other naturally. I think
there’s a different kind of humour in different parts of the
country and up North it’s a slightly more self-deprecating
thing. In London it’s much more attacking and people really
take the piss. You have to be on your guard otherwise you
just get caned.
How long have you been working with Julian now and
how did you two hook up?
Too long… it’s like a marriage! We were doing stand-up
and were on the same bill together. I was on first and
usually you can only have about one weird comedian on a
line-up. He’d been doing it a bit longer than me, but I think
I had him worried for a bit and he was quite impressed. It
was a bit like Batman and Robin. He said ‘listen kid, you’re
good but you’re raw. C’mon, let’s see what you’re got.
Let’s write together’. I’ve been stuck with him ever since
and that was about eight years ago or something. So yeah,
we’ve grown together.
Is it true that series three of the Boosh might just be done
with puppets?
(Laughs) Julian’s going to be played to be a puppet. I’m
going to be real but he’s just going to be a tiny puppet
which I just get out of my pocket every now and then and
hit with a hammer and then put back.
You like working with musicians on The Mighty Boosh.
You’ve had Razorlight and Robots in Disguise on there.
Will there be any more music guests in the next series?
Maybe… we’re always slightly worried about getting
bands in to do music because we like doing that ourselves,
but we do hang around with a lot of musicians. We don’t
really hang out with other comedians or go and watch
much stand-up. I’m really into visual things and animation
and Julian’s really into jazz.
What really? So you’re not actually joking around with
that in the series...?
Yeah. He’s well into jazz actually. We don’t really write any
‘actual’ jokes, I just make the fixtures and he makes the
sounds and it seems to work.
I heard the title of the show comes from a haircut your
brother Michael (who plays Naboo) once had…
Yeah, he had a big afro when he was a child. His mate, who
sounded a bit Portugese said to him ‘your hair’s mighty,
you’ve got a mighty boosh!’ and I thought it was quite
funny. When we were looking for a name we didn’t want to
be Barratt and Fielding, because that sounds like solicitors
or lawyers or something, so we thought we’d call ourselves
something weird. We’ve been called that for so long now
that I honestly don’t really know if it’s a good or a bad
name, I don’t even think about it anymore. A lot of people
can’t say even it, they call us ‘The Mighty Bosh’ or ‘The
Mighty Bush’.
So in real life how much are you like the character
of Vince?
I suppose about 60%. I do dress like that and my hair is a
13
bit like that. But I’m much more sarcastic and moody. Vince
is a bit like an innocent child, he never gets unhappy and
always wins at everything without even trying. I’m much
more depressive and probably much more difficult to be
around.
What’s the last thing that made you laugh a lot?
I’m sure there are about ten things that made me laugh
yesterday! I saw a picture of Borat on a billboard in some
weird swimming trunks and that made me laugh. I’ve been
watching some old episodes of Star Trek and there’s some
acting in that that is absolutely hilarious; it’s just so wrong
in every way. Oh, Julia Davies from Nighty Night in Fanny
Craddock - that really made me laugh.
What was the last thing that made you cry?
Hmmm… probably music. When you’re a bit hungover and
you listen to music, often that’s the thing that really gets
you. I’ve been listening to a lot of country singers, Townes
Van Zandt has got a really sad voice and Gram Parsons’
singing always makes me cry.
Are you a fan of Ed Byrne, Daniel Kitson and David
O’Doherty who you share the Just The Tonic Christmas
Bill with?
Yeah! I really love David O’Doherty, I’ve known him for
ages. He’s a mate and I think what he does is well funny.
Last time I saw Kitson he was really really good. I think we
both got nominated for a Perrier the same year, so there
was always this supposed rivalry between us with people
going ‘ooh you must hate each other’, because he won the
Perrier and I didn’t. But we weren’t really like that at all. I
hung out with him a bit in Ireland at the Kilkenny Festival
and really like him. So it should be a good night I think.
Have you been to Nottingham much before?
We did the Boosh there when we did the tour, but I haven’t
been to Just the Tonic for years. I did it when I first started
doing stand up. I had flu and had a really crap gig, so it’s a
miracle that Darrell (Martin - club owner) was ever going to
book me again.
What are the chances of there being a second series of
Nathan Barley?
Mmmm…..I dunno actually. I have no idea. You’d have to
ask Chris Morris. Whenever I’ve asked him he’s not sure.
He’s always got lots of stuff on and keeps busy. It’s not out
of the question but I really don’t know whether he wants
to do that. I’d be well up for it though, you’ve always got to
keep the hope and faith.
Who’s your favourite person you’ve met since you’ve
been on the telly?
Well, Chris Morris is pretty nice actually. He’s one of those
people that I didn’t think I’d ever meet and yet he’s kind
of a mate now, which is quite insane. He’s really fun and
quite an interesting character. Who else have I met who
is interesting? I met Courtney Love, she was crazy… but
Morris is the most interesting.
14
And maybe Gary Numan as well…?
Oh yeah, Gary Numan! I almost forgot Gary for a second…
how could I? He’s really nice and funny as well, he’s great!
What’s your best anecdote from a Boosh tour?
We once couldn’t get to a gig because some oil caught fire
on the motorway when we were driving to Bristol. We had
Depeche Mode’s tour bus and we were sitting on the roof
drinking beer. It was freezing and everything ground to a
halt. We were going to miss our gig and it would have cost
loads of money if we’d have had to cancel it because we’d
sold all the tickets. So their people were going ‘you can’t
miss the gig’. We were trying to work out how we could
get there by maybe walking across some fields and getting
a cab from the next village. In the end all these police
cars surrounded our tour bus and drove us the wrong way
down a busy motorway. It was really exciting, everyone in
their cars must have been going ‘who is that?’ like it was
Madonna or someone. That was probably the most exciting
thing to happen, but there are many things I couldn’t tell
you about… or at least that you couldn’t print.
Was there a big jump between your original vision for the
TV series and the final product?
Hmm… kind of. We’re still working at it. You get closer,
but you never get it exactly right. I think the second series
is more like what we had in our heads, particularly the
way it looked and the pace of it. The third one should be
even better again, but I don’t know if you can ever quite
get onto the telly exactly what you’ve got in your head or
on paper. If you achieve that, then you probably have to
just lie down and never do anything ever again in your life
because you’ve got nowhere left to go. It’s always good to
have somewhere to move on to and always be going ‘oh I
wish we’d done this better’ or ‘I wish that bit worked’. But
sometimes you also get new stuff out of it, which wasn’t
how you’d imagined it, but comes out better!
Tell us a bit about the new series. What have we got to
look forward to?
Its going to be set in a nefarious second hand magic shop
where Naboo deals black magic under the counter. I sell
fashion clothes and Julian sells jazz records. It’s sort of like
a second hand shop where people come in and get involved
in black magic. So its gonna be set in there and also a club
that our band play at. It’ll be a bit more in one place, rather
than going on another six adventures. We might go on some
adventures as well, but I think we’ll keep a few of them in
and around the shop with some regular characters in it. Bob
Fossil will be in it again and Bollo will be too. There’ll be a
bit more animation, a bit more music maybe and hopefully
the writing will be good too. We’re getting better…
What are your tips for new comedians?
For me, it’s always originality really. I just like people that
are different. When you see something different it’s always
really exciting. I just think you can be really good but if
you’re doing the same as everyone else it’s a bit boring.
I always look for stuff that’s weird and different, so if
someone does odd stuff I’m happy. Material you couldn’t
write yourself is always interesting. When someone comes
in and does something and you think ‘how the hell did you
think of that?’ So just originality really and a bit of charm
too. I think there’s not enough charm on the stand-up
circuit, people are too abrasive and too aggressive. A nice
smile goes a long way.
How did it feel to play the Secret Policeman’s Ball?
It was really good fun! We were on tour doing quite a lot of
gigs anyway and were well practiced with the live stuff. I
really like those big gigs. We thought, what shall we do at
the Albert Hall? Let’s do a swordfight and have some rabbits
run around and bum us. We wanted to do something they
definitely wouldn’t see for the rest of the night.
It was fun to meet Chevy Chase and we shared a dressing
room with Richard E Grant. Hmmm… what else happened?
Jeremy Irons was wandering around and Eddie Izzard and
Jimmy Fallon, this guy from Saturday Night Live in America,
was there. There was a woman on called Sarah Silverman, an
American comedian who I thought was the best on the night.
Who cuts your hair, do you style it yourself, what
products do you use?
A bit of wax, bit of gel, bit of mousse. I do style it myself.
It’s cut by a goth lady who works in Islington, in Angel, but
I can’t say where as I don’t want her getting bombarded
or I won’t be able to get an appointment myself anymore!
She’s like a hidden secret and she’s brilliant. She’s been
cutting it for ages, so she knows what I like. We’ve got a
sort of joint philosophy now, I don’t even have to speak. I
hope she doesn’t move. She was thinking of emigrating to
Morocco at one point. Then I would have had to go there to
get my hair cut.
Where can we get a Bollo suit from?
They’re quite hard to get actually, we had to make ours.
Some guy who worked on Planet of the Apes did it. He’s
a sculptor and he does gorilla heads and all kinds of
monkeys. He’s like a monkey specialist and looks a bit like
one too. Maybe he was a monkey? He could have been, just
disguised in jeans. I didn’t check…
But yeah, they’re really hard to get right. If you go to a fancy
dress shop they just look awful! We were originally going
to build up prosthetics on Dave’s head (the guy who plays
Bollo), so he had to shave his eyebrows off. Then we tried it
and it didn’t look that good, so we ended up using a mask.
But he’d already shaved them by that point, so he wasn’t
very happy with us.
Noel Fielding plays alongside Ed Byrne, Daniel Kitson
and David O’Doherty at Just The Tonic Christmas Special
Extreme at the Theatre Royal on Friday 22 December 2006.
You can win a pair of tickets on www.leftlion.co.uk/forum.
www.themightyboosh.com
www.justthetonic.com
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She’s racked up a huge list of
film credits (although she’s
not massively arsed about the
movie industry these days),
she’s dossed about with Quentin
Tarantino and The Prodigy, she
can call up Dave Grohl when
she’s a drummer short, and
she used to knock about with
Brad Pitt. More importantly,
she’s one of the few people who
have made the transition from
screen to CD without making a
complete tit of herself. Her name
is Juliette Lewis, former star
of Natural Born Killers and Cape
Fear, now plying her trade as a
frighteningly authentic balls-out
Rockstress. We struggled to hide
our jealousy when we caught up
with her on a rare day off during
a European tour that took in the
Rescue Rooms…
words: Al Needham
How’s the tour been?
It’s been monumental and amazing, we’ve had a million soldout shows, wild, crazy crowds…it’s been incredible so far.
Do you remember anything about your gig at the
Rescue Rooms?
Nottingham right? Nottingham’s always a bit wild. There’s
a girl there who’s really nice who always brings me
drawings. No fights broke out, which was good. Sometimes
fights break out at our gigs and cops get called…this is one
of the dangers of rock n’ roll music, I guess.
Starting a band after being a successful movie actress
- has it been a help or hindrance in your new career?
It is what it is. I look at things as an opportunity, and we’ve
had some amazing opportunities. We’ve got an audience
which I’ve earned from the films I’ve made from the last
fifteen years and the funny thing is the people who like
my films seem to like the type of music we play anyway
– guitar-driven good-time rock n’ roll. But we get judged ten
times harder than any other new band because of my past,
so we have to be ten times better.
Do people in the business assume you’re only getting
noticed because of who you are and what you’ve done?
I hope not, because the notices are all good. For me, it
was always about the gigs first and getting a reputation
as a live act, then developing the songs second. Our
songwriting’s getting better and we’re growing as a band.
I always tell people to see The Licks before you pass
judgement, because seeing is believing.
So what happens when you have to put the band on hold
when you get a film offer?
It doesn’t work like that. My priority is the record, and when
you release a record you have to promote it for a year. In
any case, movies are such a small commitment. You’re only
there for anything from two weeks to a month and a half.
I’ve already turned down film work while I’ve been on tour.
Really?
Yeah! I’ve done movies for fifteen years, but it’s not my
passion. I’m working my ass off with this band and I’m
trying to get to the next record. Music has been my priority
over the past three years. We wouldn’t be in the position
that we’re in now if it wasn’t.
Four great Juliette Lewis Movies
Out of all the films you’ve done, which one would you
like to erase from your memory?
I’m not telling. It’d be a film you’ve never seen, in any case.
What’s the harder job out of music and acting?
I couldn’t tell you… it’s a funny question. There’s a lot
of creative freedom in music. I would write a song on
Wednesday, play it at a gig on Friday and record it in a
friend’s basement the next week – that’s freedom. You don’t
have that in films, you’re reliant on money and a huge crew
of people. In all forms of art, you have to have a will of steel,
love it and be hungry as hell. You’re only gonna be let down
if you think everything’s going to come easy.
What was it like working with The Prodigy on Always
Outnumbered, Never Outgunned?
That was so much fun, because I love that kind of music.
You’re not held down by normal song structure. Liam had
some amazing tracks, I would spout out lyrics and melody
lines and he’d chop ‘em up. He’s just really incredibly
talented and a joy to work with.
What’s Quentin Tarantino like in real life?
Exactly as you’d imagine him to be. Very expressive and
funny, he can hold a conversation about anything.
Juliette and The Licks’ new CD
Four On The Floor is out now
www.julietteandthelicks.com
Kalifornia (1993)
Juliette plays the white trash girlfriend of a killer for the
first time, as she’s cast as Adele alongside the dark and
devious Early Grayce (Brad Pitt). They join researcher
Brian (David Duchovny) and Carrie (Michelle Forbes) for a
frightening road trip across America.
What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993)
Gilbert Grape (Johnny Depp) lives in Endora, a place
where nothing much happens except his brother Arnie
(Leonardo Di Caprio) causing trouble. Then one day Becky
(Lewis) and her grandmother pass through Endora and
Gilbert falls in love.
Natural Born Killers (1994)
Lewis plays the white trash girlfriend of a killer for a
second time as the sick yet sexy Mallory Knox, alongside
Woody Harrelson’s equally twisted Mickey. Two victims
of traumatised childhoods become lovers and then
psychopathic serial murderers who are irresponsibly
glorified by the mass media.
From Dusk Til Dawn (1996)
Quentin Tarantino wrote and starred in this Robert
Rodriguez directed action horror flick. Juliette played Kate
Fuller, the saucy daughter of backslidden preacher Jacob
Fuller (Harvey Keitel).
15
When They Were Peasants
My Father and Other Working-Class Football Heroes is not only a former William
Hill Sports Book of the Year - it’s probably the best book that’s been written about
football in quite a while. By a Nottingham-born writer too! words: James K.Walker
On the surface, My Father... is the biography of Stewart
Imlach, the fifties Forest winger who was not only Man
of the Match in the 1959 FA Cup Final, but the first
representative of either Nottingham club in the World Cup.
More importantly, it’s a historical and cultural analysis of
how football has shifted dramatically from working-class
pursuit to middle-class leisure option. When Imlach the
elder was at his peak, First Division footballers barely
earned as much as the factory workers on the terraces, and
the idea of a player being set up for life simply didn’t exist.
As a child born in West Bridgford (as part of Nottingham’s
post-Cup Final baby boom), Imlach’s book is a tale of
getting to know what made his frequently-absent father
tick, long after the chance to sit down and talk had slipped
by. As a postscript, the book even managed to get the
author’s father a posthumous cap for his appearance in the
1958 World Cup (which was denied to him in life due to
ridiculous bureaucracy), adding another dimension to this
fascinating story.
What makes My Father…particularly unique is that it is
a football book written with absolute detachment for the
sport, devoid of the fake ‘passion’ that characterises the
average footy biog. Quite an achievement when you realise
it is written by a seasoned TV sports professional best
known for his coverage of the Tour de France and the NFL.
Not only is it a lament for a father he left it too late to know
properly, it’s an elegy for a sport that has become bloated
and commercialised out of all recognition. Suffice to say,
it’s a little bit better than Wayne Rooney’s ghost-written
autobiography…
16
Did you receive any help from your family in the research?
Yes, mainly from my mum. Having failed to sit down and
really talk with my father before it was too late, writing the
book gave me the perfect excuse to do exactly that with my
mother, and I’m very glad that it did.
Did writing the book help to re-ignite a passion for football?
No, the opposite. Writing the book helped crystallise for
me the reasons I’d drifted away. I was still shouting at the
television during the World Cup, mind, but I didn’t pay
enough attention to fancy myself as a tipster.
Can we expect any extra chapters in future editions?
Well, there were any number of dead ends in my research,
usually because none of the key characters in a given
episode were still alive to tell their version of the tale.
But I’m grateful for what I have discovered, and anyway
you have to draw the line somewhere, for your own
psychological health if nothing else.
Although your father finally received a posthumous cap,
are you still bitter about his treatment by the Scottish FA?
I was bitter about it and I suppose I still am… given that
what’s been achieved since his death could have been
achieved before it. Funnily enough, receiving the cap
wasn’t the big thing, it was the telephone call from the
Chief Executive of the SFA to say that the decision had
been taken that brought some feeling of satisfaction.
Which is your favourite cap: the one made by Brian
Turner of Majestic Trophies of Nottingham before your
father’s death, or the official one?
Maybe Brian’s cap had more value; a cap crafted out of
genuine feeling by people who saw him play and admired
him, as opposed to an item squeezed out of an unwilling
bureaucracy on a technicality. But I don’t think in terms of
favourites. I’m just glad that the second one exists.
You have very strong opinions on the current state of
football. Do you believe it’s in danger of imploding?
I don’t see it imploding, but I wouldn’t shed any tears if it did.
Would a potential wage cap save it?
I think a wage cap will prove extremely difficult to frame
and enforce, so I see the financial disparities stretching
ever wider.
As part of your research, you returned to Nottingham…
I went there on a trip into the past, so the actual
Nottingham and the one I visited are different places.
Because I haven’t diluted my childhood memories with
repeated return visits, I found it full of strong and sudden
associations with the past. For that reason, what I
particularly liked were the streets around my old house on
Albert Road in West Bridgford and the park opposite.
Topping an award winning book is going to be a hard
task. Any plans?
It’s a question my agent and publisher are taking it in turns
to put to me. I’ll take suggestions.
My Father and Other Working-Class Football Heroes is
available in paperback from Yellow Jacket Press, RRP £7.99
www.randomhouse.com
www.jameskwalker.co.uk
There’s Only One Jason Lee…
Jason Lee is one of a rare breed of footballers
loved by both sides of Nottingham football.
He spent three years with Forest in the midnineties, making an impressive 76 appearances
and becoming nationally renowned (mainly for
the abuse he received from Baddiel and Skinner
on their Fantasy Football League TV show).
Then, this summer, the now 36 year old striker
signed for Notts County. At the time there were
a few groans from Magpies fans, but all have
been silenced since he started banging in the
goals. words and photo: Jared Wilson
Where do you think County will finish
this season?
I’m hopeful we’ll finish in the top six or
maybe go a step higher and make the top
three.
You were appointed club captain straight
after you signed. What does that involve?
I think I’ve been bestowed that honour
because I’m the most senior player at
the club. The commercial managers run
sponsorship opportunities like meals,
restaurants, suits and kit past me. It’s been
my job to tap into that and get the players
involved. I’m really proud to do it!
You almost signed for the Magpies last
season, but it didn’t quite happen. What
was it that swayed you this summer?
When I came over in January I was hopeful
of signing. I’d made my mind up that I
was going to leave Boston. Northampton
were also interested and doing really well,
but my first choice was Notts. I spoke
to the club, but there were all sorts of
problems. For one reason or another it never
happened. Sometimes you just can’t force
things.
But one door closed and another opened.
I ended up going to Northampton and got
promotion there. Then Steve Thompson took
over at Notts in the summer and I was the
first person he called. I’ve always said I’d
play for him again, given the opportunity, so
it wasn’t a hard choice.
If you could put any player, past or present,
in the current team, who would you pick?
John Barnes. I’ve always looked up to him
for his skill and as an ambassador for black
footballers. I’ve been fortunate enough to
meet him a number of times. If we could
put him on the left wing it’d be brilliant, I’m
sure I’d get loads of goals.
Are you proud that Notts were the first
football league club to get ‘Kick Racism
out of Football’ status?
I take my hat off to them! I know clubs are
trying to do stuff with politics and it’s quite
a big thing to overcome. It’s not as bad
as it was years ago, but there’ll always
be someone who says something stupid.
But I don’t think it’s that bad nowadays
and clubs are doing the best they can to
eradicate it.
Who is the toughest defender you have
ever played against?
Gary Pallister when he was at Man United.
He was a big guy, he was quick and if he
wasn’t injured as much I’m sure he’d have
played more times for England.
Who’s the best strike partner you’ve ever
played with?
Brian Roy was pretty amazing in the first
season he came to Forest. He was different
gravy. What can I say? He’d just come from
the World Cup and he was on fire!
What was it like playing with Stan
Collymore?
Me and Stan got on well. We were the
same age and sat next to each other in the
changing rooms. He did some really good
things when he was playing for Forest
and got England caps. I thought he was a
brilliant striker to be honest!
What kind of music do you like?
I’m pretty varied really. I’ve got kids and
so they keep me in touch with pop, but I’m
really more into RnB and my first love is rap
music.
Do you ever listen to any Notts hiphop?
I do like my urban music, but I’m not
familiar with the Nottingham guys to be
honest. I really like Kano. For me he’s the
top man.
What do you have as your pre-match
meal?
If it’s a Saturday I’ll have cereal. If it’s an
evening game I might well go for a little bit
of pasta, beans, toast and chicken.
What do you count as your biggest
achievement in football?
Still playing today. To stay in the game is
not easy and nowadays younger players
find it difficult to have a long term career
in the game. I’ve been in for seventeen or
eighteen years now.
What would you say was your lowest
moment?
Being injured. I was at Peterborough
for a year and I did my patella tendon. I
wondered if I’d play again, as you do when
you have long term injuries. But I looked at
Ronaldo’s rehab with the same injury and
he did it twice. So that helped inspire me.
Who’s the best manager you’ve ever
played for?
I’d better say my present one or I’ll be in
trouble. But I’ve played for Thommo twice
and wouldn’t have signed again if I didn’t
have the utmost respect for him. I’ve played
for Barry Fry twice as well and he’s a
complete lunatic, but infectious and was
always good to me. Graham Taylor was
something else, very professional and never
left a stone unturned. I worked with Peter
Taylor a couple of times too - his coaching
sessions are excellent!
I read that Graham Taylor sold you to
Chesterfield because you wouldn’t uproot
your family from Notts.
I had a three year contract at Watford and
I left after a year. It wasn’t that I wasn’t
prepared to move, but for one reason or
another, I didn’t think it would be a great
step to take to move when I could just
commute. Nottingham’s pretty central and
I wasn’t sure how long I was going to stay
in London. I wanted a base and we decided
on Nottingham, especially with the kids
going to school here and everything.
So you’ve lived in the city all that time?
Ever since I signed for Forest. I’ve been here
for twelve years and just commuted to the
clubs I’ve played for since.
What do you think to the city? Is the bad
reputation for crime deserved?
Well I come from London so I don’t really
get it twisted. I’ve left London behind and
I know that is a bad place. I see the way
Notts gets portrayed as the gun capital, but
I’ve got family who live in London and that
certainly ain’t a picnic either!
I’ve read elsewhere you don’t like being
asked about this, but I wanted to ask
about the Baddiel and Skinner ‘Pineapple’
thing.
It’s not that I don’t like being asked about
it, but if you can imagine how many times I
have been asked! But I’m never going to get
away from it, so fire away…
I was just going to ask what your
thoughts on it are now. I’ve read in
previous interviews you thought it had a
bad effect on your career…
It didn’t kill my career, but it did have a
negative effect. I understand the way the
media works and if I wasn’t doing well
before Baddiel and Skinner there was
no way I would have been highlighted
anywhere. I was playing quite well in the
Premiership when it started, I’d scored six
in six games. But I was always going to
be recognised for my distinctive hairstyle
and they ran with it every week. Then it
coincided with some bad form. The most
difficult part of that was my family and
friends would try to jump to my defence,
getting upset and angry. Having said this, I
watched every programme on Friday nights
with my team mates. But I’d like to think
I’ve still managed to do some other stuff
with my career which will be remembered.
I’ve got four promotions, played more than
500 games and scored more than 100 goals.
Have you ever met either Baddiel or
Skinner in real life?
No, but obviously I know which teams
they support. I was invited on their show a
number of times but declined. At the time
when I was getting most hammered I went
to Chelsea with Forest and scored. As you
can imagine that was brilliant because I
know Baddiel was in the stand. As a player
you can always have the last laugh...
www.nottscountyfc.co.uk
17
Striking Back
A band described as ‘Music
made by the people for
the people’ Kasabian have
bombarded electronic indie
rock with their reputable
swagger and rough vocals. The
last year has been a busy one
for the boys with the release
of new album Empire and the
loss of major songwriter Chris
Karloff. But despite it all they
continue to top album charts
and stomp on in footprints left
by their predecessors Primal
Scream and Oasis. We met up
with bassist Chris Edwards to
see how it’s all been hanging.
words: Michelle Bayton
So where did the band name come from?
It came from reading a book on the Charles Manson
murders. The woman who got away from him was called
Lynda Kasabian and we thought it was a cool name to use
especially seeing as she was the escapee!
I thought the film was really good and definitely much
better than what we thought it might be like. To be honest
I thought it was going to be quite poor, like Dream Team or
other crap footy films like that. But we were surprised, it
was actually quite dark.
What’s your favourite of your own tracks?
Doberman. Just because it’s a great tune and was recorded
and finished in about two hours and after eight cans of
Stella. It’s raw and became a sketch which turned into a
masterpiece.
Is that an appropriate metaphor for the band then…
the sense of escapism?
(Laughs) yeah I suppose you could say that.
How did it come about that your track was used?
The same process as usual.
What’s your favourite track of all time?
Your desert island single if you like?
Blackbird by the Beatles. No-one writes stuff like that any
more. It’s so chilled.
Where did Kasabian start out in music?
It was around the Britpop era when Oasis and Blur were
at a head. We all picked up guitars and started jamming
together. We loved Oasis and their sound and that’s how it
all started.
A couple of you collaborated with DJ Shadow on The
Outsider. What was it was like working with him?
It wasn’t me who worked with Shadow, but the thing is
that with him its equal admiration. He likes what we do
and we like him. We all love the way he treats music and
vice versa, so he wanted us involved.
So you’d say he was a source of inspiration?
Yeah definitely
Do you know much about the new San Francisco scene
he’s part of?
No not really. To be honest we don’t really know much
about anything musical at the moment as we’re all too busy
with our own stuff.
Are you busier due to the loss of Chris from the band?
Yes and no. It was just a difference in musical opinion
that’s all.
No bitterness then?
No.
Right then... I’ll move on. Is there anyone else you’d be
keen to collaborate with?
If I had to say anyone it would definitely be Mick Moloney,
but like I said earlier, we don’t have time to listen to much
new stuff, so it’d always have to be a legend.
Club Foot was used heavily in the football film Goal.
What did you think of the film?
18
Fill us in then…
Our production team sold it out to them after checking with
us that it was okay to be used. We’re usually cool about
them selling out our stuff as long as it’s not for a Tampax or
Tena Lady advert or something like that. We have to keep
our cool!
Another article in this issue of LeftLion involves Noel
Fielding. I believe he’s a big fan of yours and a bit of a
drinking buddy?
Maybe with the other lads but I don’t really know him. We
meet loads of people and I’m crap with names.
He’s from the TV show The Mighty Boosh.
Does that ring any bells?
Ah yeah, I do know him, but it is the other lads who drink
with him.
What do you think of the show?
I like it. It’s built in a bit of a zone and it’s twisted and
that’s what I like. It’s quite similar to The League of
Gentlemen in that way which is equally brilliant. I’m a big
fan of twisted comedy.
You’re playing at Nottingham Ice Arena on 15 December.
Do you prefer the larger venues?
I like both for different reasons. Smaller venues are always
more intimate and personal but you get a much bigger buzz
in the larger arenas. I’m looking forward to it.
What do you think of Nottingham then, being Leicester
boys at heart?
Yeah I like Notts, although we never really came over
here that much. As soon as we were at the going out age
the band had started to make it big so all our time was
consumed with promoting and now we only really get here
when we gig. It’s all cool though.
Who do you think are the best upcoming artists we
should check out?
The Fratellis. We’ve always bigged them up and we’re
taking them on this tour with us and so now they’ve made
it big themselves its really cool. Also Gogol Bordello who
are a crazy Bavarian band we saw in Turkey. One of their
tracks Stop Wearing Purple is one of the craziest tracks
you’ll ever hear. I’m hoping they’ll make in onto the scene
here because they’re just floating around Europe at the
moment.
What was the last album you bought?
It was a best of Ray Charles compilation and I bought it
after seeing Ray the film. He’s a legend. I’m big on that
Johnny Cash film Walk The Line as well. We do a cover
version of a Jefferson Airplane song in a Johnny Cash style.
It’s bizarre but it works!
What was the last thing that made you laugh?
Our singer Tom talking to himself in a hotel. It’s one of
those ‘you had to be there’ things!
I watched back the electric proms gig that we did a while
ago and I didn’t cry but I felt really emotional. I was just
dead proud I suppose.
So what’s coming up for you over the next year?
Obviously the gig in December at the Ice Arena and then
just the same sort of things with promotion and live gigs
and of course working on new ideas and music.
Anything else you want to say to Leftlion readers?
See you in December!
www.kasabian.co.uk
1. YOUR SHIT OFFICE PARTY THAT ALREADY
HAPPENED IN NOVEMBER
Ah, Christmas dos. The need to pretend that we’re well
liked, the chance to ride the office bike - there’s no finer
indication of the status of your company than the office
party. If you’re rolling about pissed out of your eyeballs in
World Service or Harts the day before you break up, well
done. Your future is secured and you’ll probably be doing
the same thing next year. If you’ve spent your Christmas
piss-up upstairs at the Peacock long before the first horrible
lights went up, rest assured that your company is firmly up
Arsehole Street and there’ll be no bog roll in the office lavs
by January.
2. THAT BLOKE ACROSS THE ROAD WHO PUT THE
ENORMOUS SANTA LIGHTS ON HIS HOUSE AS SOON
AS GOOSE FAIR FINISHED
He’s not the only one on the estate going through the
same old depressing, turd-polishing motions - but Christ
on a crisp packet! It’s so gargantuan that Rudolf’s head
fills up his bedroom window and he keeps it on all night.
I dunno about you, but if I was his missus and all I could
see at night was a massive neon reindeer head staring at
me through the curtains, I wouldn’t be massively up for a
seeing-to.
3. THAT HORRIBLE ADVERT WITH BESTIAL
NECROPHILIAC FISTING
‘Tis the season to be gorgeous?’ In a pig’s arse, it is. What’s
sexy about Xmas? Nothing! Especially some tart ramming
her hand up a turkey’s ringpiece and gurning.
4. THE GERMAN MARKET
Controversial choice I know, but c’mon; it’s just Lidl without
a roof. Do cities in Germany have Nottingham Markets,
with stalls selling unofficial Crazy Frog T-shirts, knickers
stretched over metal hoops and funf lighteren fur ein euro?
No, they don’t.
5. SHOPPING CENTRES PUTTING UP DECORATIONS IN
NOVEMBER
Bastards.
6. MEATHEADS AND SLAPPERS IN TOWN WEARING
SANTA HATS
It makes that random, unprovoked kicking so much more
jovial, doesn’t it? A shame the staff at A&E don’t wear the
full gear, put you on their knee, and say “Ho ho ho! I know a
little boy who wants a splint and some painkillers!”
7. THE ONE TIME OF THE YEAR WHERE YOU HAVE TO
GO TO FUCKING ARGOS
It’s like signing on, but coming away with a Darth Vader
helmet instead of a Giro.
10. THE LAST FRIDAY IN TOWN BEFORE THE
STUDENTS GO HOME
Carnage!
11. THE FRIDAY AFTER THAT WHEN EVERYONE ELSE
KNOCKS OFF WORK
Even worse!
12. THOSE LITTLE ROBOTIC FUCKERS IN VICCY
CENTRE
Don’t they get on your tits? I swear I’m gonna jump over
the barrier and twat one of ‘em on the snot-box this year.
Waving at me like he fucking knows meh.
13. THE INFLATABLE SNOWMAN ON THE PUB ROOF
THAT HAS ALREADY DEFLATED
It looks like some youth has thrown the world’s biggest
spent Johnny up there.
8. THE COUNCIL HOUSE LOOKING LIKE IT WAS
BOUGHT OFF QVC WHEN SOMEONE WAS REALLY
PISSED, FOR A LAUGH
Ugh.
14. IN FACT, ANY PUB THAT DOES DECORATIONS
APART FROM THE OLD GENERAL IN HYSON GREEN
For eleven months of the year, they have a dummy of an
old bloke in military uniform in the upstairs window. In
December, they chuck a Santa outfit over it. Simple. Subtle.
Timeless.
9. CLAIRE SWEENEY IN THE LOCAL PANTO EVERY
BASTARD YEAR
She is, isn’t she? Has she got Poloroids of the management
of the Theatre Royal going dogging or summat? Who is
she, anyway? Ah well, at least there’s some semblance of
properness this year with Basil Brush, Christopher Biggins
and no Hollyoaks rammell.
15. CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS BOUGHT FROM POUND
SHOPS
Hey, I’ll have nowt said against pound shops, but a bloke
on our estate has got these Santa poster-things that say
‘Ho Ho Ho’ in his window. Problem is that from the outside
it reads ‘Oh Oh Oh’ - which makes it sound like he’s having
phone sex.
19
16. CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS, FULL STOP.
I once had the only Christmas decco worth a toss - a
massive cardboard box made to look like a prezzie, full
of little polystyrene balls and a vacuum attachment. You
put your tree in it, clipped a little pipe to the spine, and
turned it on. Result – a never-ending cascade of snow. All
the others aren’t worth the steam off my, yours or anyone
else’s piss.
17. HAVING TO BUY CHRISTMAS CARDS WHEN
PEOPLE WHO YOU DON’T GIVE A TOSS ABOUT
SEND YOU ONE
Look, this is why email was invented. Stop it. Now.
18. THE FACT THAT YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BRING
YOUR GAMES IN ON THE LAST DAY OF WORK
Not fair.
19. PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING ON HOLIDAY FOR
Christmas BRAGGING ON ABOUT HOW THEY’RE
GOING ON HOLIDAY FOR CHRISTMAS
Stop banging on about it, you sensible, rational, clevererthan-me bastards.
20. CHATTY YOUTHS GOING CAROL SINGING NOT
FIVE MINUTES AFTER HALLOWEEN
All they know is We Wish You A Merry Christmas. Come
back when it is Christmas, you knob-ended teeth-sucking
vermin.
21. SOME TWAT OFF THE X FACTOR INEVITABLY
BEING THE CHRISTMAS NO.1
The battle for Christmas No.1 used to be mint. Now
it’s decided by a glorified karaoke competition, where
some mewling whelp who Nanas and the homosexual
community like gets to take their place alongside Slade
and Wizzard, before sinking into obscurity quicker than
you can say ‘Louis Walsh wants a stick up his arse.’
22. SHITTY CHRISTMAS MUSIC EVERYWHERE
We’ll have a rock ‘n roll Christmas - Christmas rock n’
roll…Wish I was at home for Ker-ristmasss…And so this
is Christmas and what have you done?...Simply. Having.
A wonderful Christmas time... And the Christmas bells
that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom. How the
fuck do people in Morrisons put up with this shit without
opening a vein?
23. GOING BACK HOME TO YOUR MAM’S TO
DISCOVER YOUR OLD BEDROOM IS NOW THE
FREEZER ROOM
Seriously, if you’d have been run over in the street
when you were seven, they would have left everything
untouched. Because you didn’t, the minute you leave they
chuck away the bed you lost your virginity on and replace
it with a chest freezer containing half a dead cow. Where’s
me back copies of 2000ADs and every single Forest
programme during both European Cup runs? In a canvas
bag in the shed with the leaky roof? Skill!
20
24. YOUR MAM HAVING HER ANNUAL NERVOUS
BREAKDOWN
Obviously, Mams are skill. But why are they the only ones
who give a fuck about Christmas when everyone else can’t
be arsed with it? Why do they feel the need to peg it down
to Tescos at five in the morning to buy more food that’ll be
chucked away?
25. TAXI DRIVERS TAKING THE PISS
Rip-off merchants at the best of times – utterly larcenous
at Christmas. They might as well just take your wallet,
shove their cocks through the fold, and have sex with it.
Their rampant greed inevitably leads to…
26. TOWN BEING ABSOLUTELY DESERTED ON
CHRISTMAS EVE
Once upon a time, this was the best night of the year for
getting mashed in town. No hassle, everyone in a good
mood, no trouble whatsoever. Nowadays, everyone’s been
on a works do, a departmental do and a go-out-with-yourmates-who-are-back-in-town do. your drinks cabinet is
groaning and the last bus home is at 10pm. Consequently,
you can walk from one end of town to the other on
Christmas Eve and you’ll see 100 people and a mile-long
queue of fucked-off cabbies.
27. A GREY CHRISTMAS
I miss proper snow. Even the Meadows looked nice in the
snow.
28. YOUR MAM AND DAD GIVING YOU THE SAME
PRESENTS THEY DID LAST YEAR
It’s not like I’d expect ‘em to know I really wanted the new
Zelda on the Game Cube or a new portable hard drive, but
for fuck’s sake – I am old enough to buy my own pants.
The Viz annual is just pages ripped out of issues I’ve
already got, I don’t use aftershave and it’s not that I don’t
like Special Toffee - but I do like still having my own teeth,
thanks.
29. YOUR FIVE YEAR-OLD NEPHEW GETTING A
PLAYSTATION 2
He can’t even read yet, so guess who has to sit with him
all week and play piss-poor movie tie-in games because
he doesn’t understand what to do? It’s not fair. He doesn’t
appreciate it. I haven’t even got one. Sulk.
30. SELECTION BOXES
A quid’s worth of chocolate if you go to the right all-night
garage, bundled up with some game that no-one ever
plays. You’ve already eaten so much chocolate that you
could easily shit a Mars bar, but it’d be a shame to let it go
to waste…
31. HAVING TO GO TO THE LOCAL PUB TO GET OUT
OF YOUR MAM’S WAY
You wouldn’t be seen dead in the place on the other 364
days of the year, because you probably would be, but on
this day it’s heaving. Particularly if there was a machete
attack in a nearby pub the night before. So you sit there
for a couple of hours trying to squeeze a conversation out of
your miserable, face-like-a-smacked-arse Dad. The only bit of
entertainment on offer? Counting the new and manky market
jumpers at the bar. Oh, and…
39. BOXING DAY
Ooh, let’s go shopping again, seeing as its been two whole
fucking days since we’ve dragged our arses through Viccy
centre.
32. SEEING PEOPLE FROM SCHOOL ONCE A YEAR AND
HAVING TO LIE ABOUT HOW ACE YOUR LIFE IS
We’ve all done it, haven’t we?
40. ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL TO DO FOR A WEEK APART
FROM MORE SHOPPING
And eating. And drinking.
33. YOUR DAD IN A PAPER HAT, PISSED OUT OF HIS SKULL,
BANGING ON ABOUT JESUS WHILST DUMPING HALF A
POT OF PEPPER ON HIS TURKEY
An annual ritual at our house during Christmas dinner, usually
just after the end of the prawn cocktail and just before the first
wine glass gets broken. As he eloquently puts it, “Everyone’s
forgotten about the cunt!” The way he goes on, he makes
it sound like the Son of God is on his own in a bungalow in
Arnold, thinking to himself “Fucking hell, I’m 2,006 years old
today…and what have I done with me life?”
41. THE BITTERSWEET MOMENT WHEN YOU ACTUALLY
REALISE YOU’RE DESPERATE TO GO BACK TO WORK
Even if you happen to work at a maggot factory or are a
prostitute on Forest Road.
34. HOLIDAY ADVERTS KICKING IN THE MINUTE YOU’VE
HAD YOUR Christmas DINNER
Fuck. Off.
35. THE QUEEN’S SPEECH
If you’ve still got your grandparents, it’s a traditional part of the
day. If you haven’t, it’s some right old trout banging on about
arse all. What’s on next? Oh, for fuck’s sake…
36. THE BOND FILM
Alright, so maybe it’s enjoying a brief revival due to them
having a new blonde one. But let’s be honest; ever since we
realised that all British spies really do is lose laptops on trains
and make up excuses for America to bomb Muslims, the magic
has gone.
37. ALL CHRISTMAS TELLY, IN FACT
Jesus, I can remember the days when the entire country had
a collective orgasm when the Christmas TV and Radio Times
came out. Nowadays you either spend Christmas night round
your mates (providing they live within walking distance, or
you’ve taken out a loan to pay the cab fare), in the spare room
with a laptop and a tray of sausage rolls, or on the settee in
an alcoholic stupor with a tin of Sensations on your rapidly
expanding gut.
38. THE REALISATION, JUST BEFORE YOU GO TO BED,
THAT TWO MONTHS OF RELENTLESS MARKETING,
HUNDREDS OF POUNDS YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO SPEND
AND MILLIONS OF MAN-HOURS SPENT RUNNING
AROUND LIKE A BLUE-ARSED FLY HAVE RESULTED
IN A) AN INTERRUPTED LIE-IN, B) A SESSION IN A
RUBBISH PUB, C) SOME PANTS THAT DON’T FIT YOU, D) A
GLORIFIED SUNDAY DINNER, E) A ROW WITH YOUR DAD
OVER RELIGION AND F) AN UTTERLY, UTTERLY FUTILE
EXPERIENCE
Just like last year. And next year.
42. THE EXTRA STONE YOU PUT ON OVER CHRISTMAS
Nuff said.
43. NEW YEARS EVE BEING ONLY SIX DAYS AWAY
FROM CHRISTMAS
Don’t get me wrong, New Years Eve is skill! In fact, it’s the
all-denomination winter solstice piss-up that is everything
Christmas should be. But why does it have to be so close to the
rubbish one? Let’s move it to the middle of January, or replace
Valentines Day with it, when we’ve all got a bit more cash and
could do with a doss off work.
44. NOT BEING ABLE TO WATCH A BELL-END FALL OUT OF
THE CHRISTMAS TREE IN TOWN AND GET ARRESTED THIS
YEAR
Thanks to Slab Square still looking like a World War One trench.
Also see;
45. NOT BEING ABLE TO SNOG A SHARON UP
AGAINST A LION
Oi! Council! Sort it!
46. MAKING YOUR NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS AND
REALISING THAT THEY’RE THE SAME ONES AS LAST YEAR
This year, I vow to; stop going into Yates and beating people up,
calm down on the ‘shagging women every night’ thing, be a bit
less ostentatious about my expensive house and car and stop
being a compulsive liar.
47. NEW YEAR’S DAY
The dullest day of the year. Even Bono had a cob-on about it and
although I think he’s a hateful twat, I’m inclined to agree.
48. JANUARY
Five weeks before you get paid. Tax bills. Credit card bills.
Everyone’s skint. No-one goes out. Rubbish!
49. MAD BASTARDS WHO LEAVE THEIR CHRISTMAS
LIGHTS ON UNTIL FEBRUARY
Sitting on the top deck as the bus goes through Bestwood is like
being in a Sinclair Spectrum flight simulator.
50. PEOPLE WHO DO NOTHING BUT MOAN ABOUT
CHRISTMAS
Miserable twats, aren’t they? Happy birthday Jesus!
4
21
14-18 BROAD STREET
NOTTINGHAM
BOX OFFICE 0115 952 6611
SPECIAL EVENTS
WWW.BROADWAY.ORG.UK
WINTER CURRY NIGHTS
ON MONDAYS
Enjoy home-cooked curry, a film of
your choice and a free pint of beer
for just £9 on Mondays evenings
from 6pm. Beginning on 4
December, buy your ticket at the
box office when you choose your
film and order your curry from the
cafebar or Mezz. Ask at the bar for
more details.
OBSERVER READER OFFER
Throughout December and in
collaboration with The Observer we
are offering readers a dining deal
in the Cafebar, Mezz and the new
Mezz restaurant. Collect tokens
from the Observer newspaper on
Sunday 29 November and take
advantage of 2 for 1 offers on both
bar and restaurant offers.
We are also offering 2 for 1 ticket
offers on selected screenings, visit
the website for more info.
BLOWOUT AT BROADWAY
EVERY FRIDAY FROM 6PM
Enjoy The Ride presents… Blowout
- a new night bringing the finest
mix of chill beat, world, reggae,
funk and soul, with live acoustic
music and visuals in the
downstairs Cafebar. A great way to
begin winding down at the start of
the weekend, Blowout is for
everyone with a fine mix of music
and styles and a great guest
acoustic set each week.
NEW YEAR’S EVE TICKETS
NOW ON SALE
Becoming something of a tradition,
join the Broadway party on New
Year’s Eve. The most famous party
night of the year, we’ll have djs,
supper and a friendly atmosphere.
If you don’t want to be part of the
outside madness, book your ticket
now for only £7
Alice Rock might sound like a solo female
artist, but it’s actually a duo with a
penchant for purple and black stripes.
Songwriter Alice Rock (that’s her real
name apparently) plays guitar and sings,
alongside trusty percussion player Tabby.
They met up through myspace and it’s
been onwards and upwards for them
since, recording fresh punk-pop tunes
like Wonderland and Kissing in a Camper
Van. LeftLion asked them in for a set
at December’s LeftLion Presents at the
Orange Tree…
Where did you both start out in music?
Alice: I learnt to play the piano when I was
seven. I taught myself guitar when I was
thirteen and have been in bands ever since!
Tabby: I started when I was twelve after
having a one-off drum lesson at school and
haven’t stopped.
Alice: Dot Com Women. It cracks me up
every time! Laughing at my own jokes is a
bit sad but I can’t help it.
Tabby: Medicinal Lemonade. It’s a feel good
song, when I play it right!
What’s your favourite track of all time?
Alice: Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights.
Tabby: Incubus’ Meglomaniac.
What are your favourite cities and venues
to play?
Alice: The Malt Cross in Nottingham is my
favourite so far.
Tabby: I like The Black Market because
they have a really good lighting rig, but
unfortunately I’ve only played there once.
Also, I like The Vic Inn in Derby because
that’s where I saw The Mascara Story for
the first time!
Formication are a Nottingham-based duo
who create their own noise, produce it,
mix it up and then turn it on its head. The
guys involved are Kingsley and Alec and
it’s hard to pigeonhole their sound, but
there is definitely a bit of ambience and
electronica involved. They’ll be serving up
a night of eerie soundscapes at the first
LeftLion Presents at the Orange Tree of
2007. So we put a few questions to them…
Where did you both start out in music?
Alec: Playing organ in a Baptist church in
the south east of England, when I was five.
I’ve sat on the knees of Reginald Dixon
and Robert Wolff. During one performance
all three of us played Chariots of Fire to
a packed house on a huge Wurlitzer and
string synth. There were hundreds of tiny
automated clockwork animals that moved
about to the music, incredible to believe but
true. I haven’t found a
more gorgeous string
synth sound since.
Kingsley: I fainted
in the kitchen
when I was
about ten
and my dad
carried me
into the
If you could get anyone in to play with
you, who would you choose?
Alice: Paul McCartney! We don’t want a
bass player but it would be interesting to
hear it with him on board.
Tabby: Jack Black!
Who are the best upcoming artists we
should check out?
Alice: Rachael Ramkissoon.
Tabby: Black Vinyl Heart and Mr Wolf.
What do you listen to on the stereo at home?
Alice: The Archers on Radio 4 and The Cure.
Tabby: The Spill Canvas, The Mascara Story,
Juliette and the Licks, My Chemical Romance.
Describe your average day...
Alice: I don’t have one. My life is very
hectic. Eastenders is the only consistent
thing in my life.
Tabby: I need a job, so most of the time I’m
just lazing around and getting fat.
What are your favourite hangouts in
Nottingham?
Tabby: I’m too anti-social for that…
Alice: Sherwood Forest and Ye Olde Trip!
What was the last thing that made you laugh?
Alice: Filming our music video to Kissing
in a Campervan. Dragging a full drum kit
into the middle of the woods in Hucknall is
always good for a giggle.
Tabby: Alice about 5.2 milliseconds ago.
Alice: My niece Laila Rock being born!
Tabby: Puff Daddy’s I’ll Be Missing You.
Alice: Spending time with my family and
watching Gremlins 1 and 2.
Tabby: Partying!
What’s the best Christmas present you’ve
ever been bought?
Alice: A pink and white racing bike called
Miss Trendy.
Tabby: My first drum kit!
So what were the highlights of 2006 for
Alice Rock?
Alice: Meeting Tabby and saying goodbye
to being a solo-artist!
Tabby: Finding someone who can actually sing
and likes doing music as much as I do! Woo!!
What is coming up for you over the next year?
Tabby: Hopefully lots of sex!
Alice: Ahem…
Alice: Do a tour and try to get signed.
Tabby: Do a tour, get a job and erm... even
more sex!
music room to recover. I felt really sick for a
bit but I’ve loved music ever since.
What are your favourite hangouts in
Nottingham?
Alec: Kingsley’s house, Selectadisc, Squeek,
Alley Café, disused buildings. I like ponds,
rivers, canals and lakes too.
Kingsley: The Tap, The Pit, The Sal, Reflex,
Game.
Alec: Void is a long and frenetic track
from our forthcoming Lumberton Trading
Company release that is utterly mental
- very intense, especially live. It has a
horrible time signature, it veers from
industrial acid to screaming ambience and
it was great watching people try to dance
to it last time we played it live. We made a
video for it as well, which will appear on a
computer near you very soon.
Kingsley: Faces of Fire is another new
track where I sing like a sweet, sweet
angel. Also our
latest release The
Untitled Wasdale
Recordings is
still sounding
as fresh as
the day we
made it.
Kingsley: Being continuously drunk to numb
the pain.
Alec: I’m going to be in hiding in the studio
for as long as possible. I might cook my
mum a nut roast, I suppose.
What’s the best Christmas present you’ve
ever been bought?
Kingsley: I don’t remember any Christmas
presents. I don’t mean that I’ve never had
any, I just have a really bad memory.
Alec: A remote controlled submarine. No,
that was a birthday present. A good one,
though.
What’s coming up for you in 2007?
Alec: More tattoos. Writing music. Buying
records and machinery. We’re about to
release a CD called The Untitled Wasdale
Recordings which we’re really proud of. It’s
going to be free from our website too.
Kingsley: We’re also releasing it as a limited
What can people
expect from the show at
the Orange Tree?
Alice: Well it’s my birthday
that night so I will be in a
good mood. Expect madness and lots of
stripes!
Anything else you want to say…
Alice: Thanks to everyone that has shown
us support.
Tabby: Thank you for interviewing me,
there’s a first time for everything.
Alice Rock play LeftLion Presents at the
Orange Tree with The Deltarays on
Saturday 2 December 2006.
www.alice-rock.co.uk
edition of 23 in deluxe handmade wooden
boxes, they cost £23. More details on our
website.
What was the last thing that made you
laugh?
Kingsley: Trying to teach my wife to make a
dripping noise with her cheeks.
Alec: Watching him try to teach his wife to
do that. It’s not easy. We went to see The
Mighty Boosh in Derby which was also
very funny.
Kingsley: Trying to teach my wife to make a
dripping noise with her cheeks.
Alec: When I accidentally drove over a
pigeon in town and the people trying to
cross the road near my car got sprayed
with blood and tissue. They were covered
with it and pigeon bits got all over my car. I
laughed ‘til I cried at that. I always thought
they would just fly out of the way, but no!
Formication, Emkah and Modulator ESP
will be serving up a night of electronica for
LeftLion Presents at the Orange Tree on
Saturday 13 January 2006.
www.theformicarium.com
23
Raphael Daden
Describe your style: Sculptor working with light.
Most influential artist? James Turrell, Brancusi, Olafur Eliasson.
What are you up to at the moment? I’m working on my biggest sculpture to date Light-Waves, a 25 metre by
3 metre dynamic light installation that interacts with people walking through a pedestrian underpass of the
Northern Relief Road in London. My work is also being shown as part of the Drawing with Light exhibition at
Shire Hall Gallery in Stafford from November to January.
What is your favourite art space in Nottingham? The urban space around us can be a great venue and
Nottingham Castle Art Gallery is also a nice space.
What is your dream project? To make a light installation about one mile out to sea, with a backdrop of pure
black night sky.
What is your top tip for upcoming artists? Keep at it. Believe in what you’re doing and others will believe in
you. Don’t get a job!
What is your philosophy for life? Make the most of your time, we’re not here that long.
What would you demonstrate against? War and cruelty to animals.
What’s your favorite joke? How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to
do it and one to say “Huh! My four-year old could’ve done that!”
What would you like for Christmas? A home with lots of green space and the sea five minutes walk away.
Anything else you want to say to LeftLion readers? Enjoy the read and find some time to have a look at my
website. If the art funders are reading this, put some more money into public art in and around Notts.
www.raphaeldaden.co.uk
Popx
Describe your style: Popxart.
Who is your most influential artist? Jesus. Great parables.
Buddha’s pretty good too and Mohammed’s not bad either. Da
vinci, Shakespeare, Dali, Banksy. All the movers and shakers.
Plus...whoever made the big bang. Interesting work!
What are you up to at the moment? I’m updating myspace/
popx and looking to produce some documentaries next year.
What is your favourite place to paint in Nottingham?
Wherever I am.
Dream project? Restoring peace and tranquillity to the hearts
and minds of everyone by any means necessary.
Top tip for upcoming artists: Be yourself. Which means
recognise that you are everyone including the unique being that you think you are. Express that however you
like. Use power to heal not harm.
What happened to you today? I woke up.
What’s your philosophy for life? I am Life. You are me. We are infinitely many. Soul in incarnation. One Love
is the answer.
What would you demonstrate against? Starvation in a world of plenty. Blood for oil for power. Mass Pollution
for power (we can power this world on pollution free technology). Forced human RFID implants.
What’s your favorite joke? What’s brown and sticky? A stick! But it doesn’t really make me laugh any more,
other than when I tell it and people go “Uughh, that’s crap!”
What would you like for Christmas? Christ. A spaceship would be nice too, but I don’t want to be greedy.
How about we arrest the Bush admin and change the global laws to meet the basic human needs of all? That
would be great. Then we could play…
Anything else you want to say to LeftLion readers…? Yeah, Cheers dudes!
www.popxart.com
www.myspace.com/popx
May Cortazzi Creative Director of Regenerate
Describe your design style: English Gentleman meets rock n’roll!
Directional, timeless, eco-friendly clothing for guys with a sense of style
who are influenced by the music industry and want to look good whilst
doing good!
Who is your most influential artist or designer? Hardy Blechman of Maharishi.
He taught me that you can bring positivity and meaning into clothing!
What are you up to at the moment? I’ve finished my prototypes for
Regenerates first organic menswear collection The Journey, a travelling
inspired collection that will be launched next year.
Where do you like to shop in Nottingham? Xsample in Hurts Yard, selling
ethical clothing, made by local designers. I like to know about the inspirations
behind the clothing I’m wearing, it brings quirky personality to clothing, they
feel more special, as if they have their only little story to tell!
Dream project? Travelling the world and dressing it!
Top tip for upcoming artists: Stay focused and believe in what you do,
the universe will provide!
What happened to you today? Woke up, listened to some 40s Swing,
danced around my room. The best way to start the day!
What do you see yourself in the future? The aim is for Regenerate hitting
the fashion industry worldwide, so we can help more people and give
them a chance to lead respectable happy lives.
What would you demonstrate against? I believe in world equality between
all races, sexes and religions. The world should embrace our differences and learn to live as one country in unity.
What would you like for Christmas? A ticket to Thailand please!
Anything else you want to say to Left Lion readers? Have an adventure everyday!
Simon Mitchell
Describe your style: Chuck Jones meets Glynn Dillon, Philip Bond
and Jamie Hewlett in a funky rock bar, they all laugh, make stupid
jokes and get massively drunk.
What is your most influential artist? I guess it’s hard to state
just one but it’s gonna fall on Jamie Hewlett. The first comic I ever
bought had his comic strip Swifty’s Return in it. I’ve loved him ever
since.
What are you up to at the moment? My work will be shown on a
large scale in Australia at the Sustainable Living Festival in midFebruary. I’m also doing a music video and some CD covers. Some
exclusive paintings for the Old Angel and Jagermeister in Derby.
A Christmas card (available on my website) and just developing
characters and drawing until my hand hurts.
Favourite art space in Nottingham? I’ve been in quite a few over
the last three years, so I can’t really just say one. However Junktion
7 has a massive place in my heart.
Dream project? To work on a massively cool project and get paid
well for doing it.
Top tip for upcoming artists? Work bloody hard.
What happened to you today? Got up, had a poo, went to work, got
home and now I’m writing this.
What is your favourite quote? ‘Poo, bum, willy’ Sir Simon Mitchell
25 April 1923.
What would you demonstrate against? COINTELPRO, the
government secret program to undermine the popular upsurge of
thinking. The name stands for Counterintelligence Program, the
targets are not enemy spies, but people with a different view to
the government.
What’s your favourite joke? Hey mum can I lick the bowl? No flush
it like everyone else.
What would you like for Christmas? My two front teeth, and to see
my family, I hardly get to see them.
Anything else you want to say to LeftLion readers? Thank you for
reading and hopefully speak to you soon.
www.simitchell.co.uk
www.xfon.deviantart.com
Win exclusive artwork by Simon on www.leftlion.co.uk/forum
www.myspace.com/maycortazzi
25
OUT&ABOUT
BARS/GYMS/RESTAURANTS/SHOPS
LeftLion whips out the credit card and wallows
in the retail wonderland that is Nottingham.
Our correspondents this time around were
Jenny Hill, Claudia Kowalski and Camillo.
Dave Mann Music
I Dress Myself
Its not often you get to write about a retail space in Nottingham that has been going
for 34 years. Mansfield road has seen various businesses come and go in its time and
Dave Mann Music has held strong for over three decades. They provide entry level to
high end guitars, banjos, ukeleles, mandolins and a host of other acoustic instruments
alongside a huge selection of strings and accessories.
Do you ever think about where your clothes come from or how much energy has been
wasted in creating and selling your perfect new top? Probably not but thankfully the
people at I Dress Myself do. Hannah Davis and Pete Conway have been running their
independent t-shirt printing business since 2005 and it’s a stitch above Topshop.
When you chat to owner Dave you know you are talking to someone that runs their
business with passion and an instinctive insight into the service he provides.
An instinct which is rooted in the fact that all the Mann family (who run the business
together) are accomplished musicians. Dave plays jazz banjo, jazz accordion and
guitar, while his wife Rachael plays violin in the Djanology orchestra and his son Walter
is a guitarist.
Add to this an in-house technician (Colin Staples) who is one of the most sought after
in the country and you start to see the key to the stores longevity. Colin has been
repairing instruments for over 30 years and offers a detailed set-up service. If you’ve
played your instrument for a few months and feel it could be sounding better pop back
in to the shop and he’ll put his experience into adjusting it for improved performance.
Alternatively you could pop into one of the more mainstream shops to be sold your
instrument by a spotty work experience kid with all the musical knowledge of an
aubergine, or buy online with the obvious lack of after sales service which buying in
store can provide.
The shop is a gem in the local music scene and if you’re a budding or established
player it is well worth stopping by to sample their musical knowledge.
Dave Mann Music, 123-125 Mansfield Road, NG1 0115 9417955
www.davemann.co.uk
The main job of I Dress Myself is to provide t-shirts for bands, record labels, graphic
designers, sports clubs and other businesses. Don’t expect to find batches of boisterous
hen night tops or nickname-adorned shirts for lads holidays in Malaga here though. You
can provide personal designs or they can provide the inspiration depending on your
artistic needs. After you’ve picked your colours, sizes and extras like glitter or buttons,
leave them to create your perfect garment and they’ll deliver to anywhere in the UK.
If 200 ‘look we are all interested in the same things’ t-shirts seem too much, you could
always buy some badges instead.
If you do not have an occasion worthy of a bunch of tops do not despair, there are
individual t-shirts for sale too. Leftlion Extravaganza attendees will welcome the Oxjam
Nottingham top designed by Helen Wood. A third of the £12 cost goes to Oxfam so you
don’t even have to feel guilty about feeding your wardrobe. Plus you know it has been
made ethically. I Dress Myself bank at the Co-op, recycle wherever possible and have an
ethical trading policy. This includes ensuring traders have honourable working standards
for all staff. The company also plan to use more organic cotton in the near future. The
media obsessing over global warming and climate change may have encouraged some of
us to get the bus more or put our newspaper in the recycling bin but this can also extend
to what we buy in the first place. The website has yards of information on exactly how I
Dress Myself make their products and a breakdown of what that means when you hand
over your purse. Look out for the re-launch of the site soon.
I Dress Myself, 32-40 Carrington Street, NG1 0115 9474140
www.idressmyself.co.uk
The Social
Probably one of the coolest bars in Nottingham, The Social was opened in November 1999 by the chaps at Heavenly Records who fell
in love with the city on various random musical excursions and wanted to recreate their famed bar in London somewhere that wasn’t
populated with tourists and ponces. Rock City took it over last year, and have kept it as proper as it’s always been.
The bar downstairs has a policy of happy hours from five until nine on weeknights, illegally attractive bar staff, the finest jukebox in
the Midlands and it stays open long after other bars have knocked it on the head. What The Social is truly renowned for, however, is its
innate knack for catching ridiculously successful bands just before every other tosser gets to hear them on Top Of The Pops. The Strokes,
The White Stripes, Starsailor… they’ve been here, done that and been close enough to touch. There are gigs on nearly every night and
the place has garnered a well-earn rep on the circuit.
As for the club nights… where to start? The evening keeps going as they have just revamped their late night entertainment with some
seriously heavyweight and notorious promoters. They have taken it more messy and more underground with new starters such as
Ambush (proper mashup) alongside bringing in major promotion teams. Both Spectrum and Detonate have secondary nights, as well as
the likes of the Highness soundsystem - a reggae soundsystem as it should be.
Although there may have been a few too many hairdos in of late, the place is slowly being steered back to its roots and continuing its
well established role of being Nottingham’s most reliable drinking holes. Turn up any night and fun is guaranteed.
The Social, 23 Pelham Street, NG1 0115 9505078
www.socialnottingham.co.uk
26
All The Trimmings
Fancy a Christmas dinner with your friends
or workmates, but can’t be bothered to do
the washing up afterwards? You’ll be glad to
know that there are a range of options around
Nottingham to whet your festive appetite.
Here’s four we picked out:
The Orange Tree
One of the coolest pubs in town and the home to our
monthly LeftLion Presents music sessions. The food in
there is always pretty good anyway, but they’ve excelled
themselves on their proper Christmas dinner with all the
trimmings. The clientele is an interesting mix of business
people and students (it is the local for Trent students after
all). The staff are uber-attractive and the beers on tap are
always chosen with love and affection. It’s worth booking
your meal in advance for bigger groups, not least because
they’ll probably sort you out with the big table at the back
for you and your mates.
The Orange Tree, Shakespeare Street, NG1 0115 9473239
www.orangetree.co.uk
Deux
This lovely pub is tucked away in Sherwood Rise. Formerly
a hotel, it’s been taken over by an experienced French
chef and pub landlord and they’re offering up a traditional
British Christmas dinner with a nod to the French ambience
too. There will be vegetarian options available in their
relaunched bistro and the whole restaurant side is available
for private hire. If you pick the right evening you might
even get to sample one of their live music nights – this is a
place where lots of local musos hang out, so there’s always
quality on offer.
Deux, Clumber Avenue, Sherwood Rise NG5 0115 9856 724
Golden Fleece
Fancy your roast at the pub that drum and bass built?
Ever since this place was taken over by the promoters
of Detonate it’s been a firm fixture for drinkers on the
Mansfield Road trail. Their Sunday dinners have already
become the stuff of legend for those looking to replenish
their energy after a hard night’s clubbing. So the Christmas
menu they’ve put out is bound to be affordable and quality.
If you eat it on a Wednesday and stick around for a bit you
might even come across the LeftLion pub quiz. Our trivia is
legendary.
Golden Fleece, 105 Mansfield Rd, NG1 0115 947 2843
Ye Olde Trip To Jerusalem
If you’re into your history then you can’t really beat going
to the oldest pub in England can you? Set in a series of
caves, it’s like having an ale in the shire but with less
annoying hobbits around. The food menu is the basic Hardy
Hansons chain menu, which is nothing that new, but it’s
decent. The ambience here is the main thing though. Sit
near the mysterious model boat that hasn’t been cleaned
for decades, apparently because the last people who tried
all died.
Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem, Brewhouse Yard, NG1
0115 947 3171 www.triptojerusalem.com
27
The Death of Vinyl
Another Year
Bites The
Dust!
It’s not just decreasing sales figures and
various distribution companies going bust in
the last few months: Because of oil shortages
we’re eventually going to run out of vinyl...
What will people do? Wait for an alternative,
use stuff like final scratch or mix CD’s ?
agent smith - dataset
My mate tried a CDJ set-up the other day and
said it couldn’t have been easier - and thus
less satisfying. There’s just something right
about vinyl that CDs or Mp3s can’t satisfy.
pandapad
If it stopped being produced tomorrow I
would just be happy that the second-hand
price would go down and I could get some
1210’s for a fraction of the retail price. I can
think of several individuals who would be
over the moon - it would mean that vinyl DJs
would be exclusive again.
Surely the answer is recycling? I know my
Dad’s got some Shirley Bassey records that
could be melted down,
Adrian
Words: Alan Gilby
Photos: David Bowen
(LeftLion New Years Eve 2005)
New Years day is often one of the most painful of the year. It usually involves
waking up some time in the afternoon, still unsure of your surroundings,
followed quickly by rushing to the nearest toilet to remove as much of the
previous nights excesses as possible. Only to find inexplicable marks on your
face as you catch your zombi-like reflection in the mirror.
New releases will eventually come to an end
for sure. But there’s plenty of second hand/
back catalogue material already out there. We
need to get back into crate diggin’.
mattboyslim
Shortly afterwards the deep unmoving pain inside your
head kicks in and it’s back to bed as quickly as you
left it. New Years Day may as well be wiped off the
calendar.
Much though I love vinyl records, of which I
buy several every week and have thousands
of the buggers lying around, its eventual
disappearance is insignificant next to the
wider issue of having no plastic.
Peej
More often than not ‘the best night of the year’ never
quite matches up to expectations, usually tainted
by inflated door and drink prices and the fact that all
your mates ended up in different places because you
couldn’t agree on where to go. What’s more when it’s
all finished you end up paying half a months rent to
some guy in a car that looks very little like a taxi.
Where to get local
produce
You can get a box of locally-grown organic veg
from Roots on Mansfield Road. £6, £8 or £10.
Adrian
There used to be a sort of mini market
on Thursday mornings at the YMCA on
Shakespeare Street. Lovely fresh vegetables,
much bigger and tastier then those from
supermarkets and next to nothing in cost.
Jules
Theres a farmer’s market in Bridgford but
it’s more about expensive cheese and bison
burgers. Nice to walk around and try before
you buy though!
Nuclear Winter Sis
If you hurry up, you can still get some conkers
off the Forest.
Lord of the Nish
Get down to the Thompson twins on Haydn
Road. A pair of characters, no doubt.
Mr Jones
My family buy up most meat they eat from
a local organic farm shop. I don’t feast on
carcass myself, but they say it’s the Bronx.
Mr.Dubbs
Sounds a bit shit and out in the sticks, but
Wheatcroft’s Garden Centre in West Bridgford
has a new food court, with loads of local farm
produce.
MassiveGorillaBomb – Crikey!
Gusto in Sneinton - most of the produce in
there is locally sourced. The wine is a tad
expensive, but the meat and sauces in there
are very good. Some excellent oils in there too.
But never mind all that, when it comes together
properly New Years Eve is a night to be talked about
for the rest of the year. So how can you improve your
chances of having a good one?
Well, if you’re planning on heading to a venue in town
to mark the entry of 2007 then LeftLion is here to help.
We’ve put together a handy list of all the parties we
could find and it turns out there’s quite a lot going on...
LeftLion New Year Extravaganza
Venue: The Orange Tree
Price: £10 advance
Times: 7pm - 2am
If last years party was anything to go by it’ll be an
absolute blinder. Live music will be provided by The
Smears, Sidearm, Nuclear Family, Mr Jones, Bass
Rooster and Friends and DJ Squigley on the decks.
There will be snacks and a free drink for everyone who
gets there early. Buy tickets from www.leftlion.co.uk/
tickets. See page nine for band interviews.
Firefly New Year
Style: Breaks, House, Techno
Venue: Marcus Garvey Ballroom
Price: £8.50 advance
Times: 9pm - 6am
If you want to rave it up into the small hours of 2007
then this is a likely option. Firefly have been putting on
big parties for years. If you’re looking for the messiest
night on offer then look no further.
DIY
Venue: Pelhams
Price: tbc
Times: 8pm - late
House music supplied by the DIY crew.
ASkills
Venue: Dogma
Price: £10
Times: 9pm - 3am
If beats and breaks are your bag then let A Skillz, Tony
Global and Freeman help you celebrate.
28
New Years Ball
Venue: Deux
Price: tbc
If you’re looking for a good local then Deux will meet
your needs nicely. Expect a cracking atmosphere, live
music and disco.
New Years Eve Party
Venue: The Maze
Price: £15
Times: 9pm - 4am
Grain and Old Basford headline so you know it’s going
to be a quality night.
New Years Eve Stealth Versus Rescued
Venue: Stealth and Rescue Rooms
Price: 8pm - 3.00am
Times: Open until late
With Justice of We Are Your Friends fame, I Was a Cub
Scout and VinylJacks in the red room.
Sinfonia ViVA New Year’s Eve Gala
Venue: Royal Centre
Price: £11.50 - £25.50
Times: 7.30pm
If a night of classical music sounds like your idea of
heaven then you’re sorted.
New Years Eve
Venue: Saltwater
Price: £10 advance
Times: 7pm - late
With Koda Cola, Rick Donohue, Fran Green and Dave
C. They’ve got a barbecue on the heated terrace with
fireworks at midnight.
New Years Eve Shindig
Venue: Golden Fleece
Price: £10 adv
Times: 8pm - late
If you’re after bass then the Fleece with DJ Bailey and
other guests is where you’ll want to be.
Just The Tonic New Year Blow Out
Venue: The Approach
Price: £27.50
Times: 7pm
Just The Tonic is ‘The best comedy club in the country’
according to Johnny Vegas. Laughing you into 2007
will be Junior Simpson, Die
Clatterschenkenfietermaus, Darrell Martin and at
least one more comedian.
Pick one of these that sounds like your kind of thing
and you should be okay, Happy New Year!
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DUFELGANG AND THESOCIAL PRESENT A CHRISTMAS & END-OF-TERM SPECIAL WITH DJ’S:
BELLE & SEBASTIAN
PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS
SECRET STEALTH
PLUS DUFELGANG DJS
AT
THE SOCIAL
FRIDAY 15 TH DECEMBER
10pm– 4am
TICKETS £7 ADV./£8
ADVANCE TICKETS AVAILABLE FROM: Rock City box office Talbot Street,
Nottingham 0115 958 8484 Selectadisc Over the counter upstairs, main store.
Market Street, Nottingham online from www.seetickets.com, www.alt-tickets.co.uk
Limited tickets available on the door. For more info, call 07939 313090
dufelgang.
www.myspace.com/dufelgang
listings...
Friday 01/12
music / weeklies / comedy / theatre / exhibitions
Saturday 2/12
Tuesday 05/12
Electric Eel Shock
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£7
Times:
7pm doors
Wildside
Venue:
Junktion 7
Times:
9pm - 2am
Teenage Casket Co.
Acoustic Tuesdays Presents...
Venue:
Malt Cross Cafe Bar
Price:
Free
Times:
8:30pm
Tool
Venue:
Price:
Basement Boogaloo with
Maurice Fulton
Style:
Deep House, Electronica,
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£7 adv £8 otd
Times:
10pm till 3.30am
The Blood Arm
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£8 adv
Times:
8pm - 11pm
With support from Crash My
Model Car.
Enjoy The Ride
Venue:
Malt Cross Cafe Bar
Price:
£3 / £5 (NUS)
Times:
8.30pm - 1am
Deep Sound Channel and
Spaceships are Cool.
Castle College Presents:
Venue:
Junktion 7
Price:
£3
Times:
8:30pm - 12pm
Sound Found Image, Jimmy and
the Skinflints, You are Cautioned,
Silhouette Season and Mexican
Avalanche.
Nottingham Arena
£30
VinylJacks
Venue:
Junktion 7
Price:
Free
Times:
9pm - 2am
VinylJacks plays 60s Garage.
Fat Digester
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£5
Times:
9pm
Mascara Mascara
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£3 before 11pm (NUS)
Times:
10pm - 3am
The Blueskins
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£5 adv
Times:
8pm - 11pm
With support from Indigo Moss 8.
Muse Live
Venue:
Muse
Price:
£2
Times:
9pm - 2am
You Slut! and The Dead Souls.
Urban Dub
Venue:
Junktion 7
Price:
£5 adv
Times:
9pm - 2am
With support from the 10 o’Clock
Horses, Dready and The Mighty
Steppers, and Fat Lady Singh.
The Silver Tongues
Venue:
Running Horse
Price:
£3
Times:
8.30pm - 12am
Pure Filth
Style:
Venue:
Times:
Techno, DnB, House
BluePrint
10pm - late
Spectrum
Style:
Breaks
Venue:
Stealth
Price:
£10
Times:
10pm - 5am
Room One – Spectrum vs.
Sugarbeat
Meat Katie, Utah Saints, Jay
Cunning and Pete Jordan.
Room Two – Good Times with…
Norman Jay, Dave Boultbee, Beane
and Percussion with D’Livver.
Room Three – Camouflage
Presents….
Jehst (Live), Asaviour, DJ IQ,
Conspicuous The Coroner, Sir
Smurf Little, Kids in Tracksuits and
Windows 78.
LeftLion Presents
Venue:
The Orange Tree
Price:
Free
Times:
8pm - 12am
LeftLion Presents continues at the
Orange Tree. Happy birthday Alice!
With the Deltarays and Alice Rock.
Wednesday 06/12
Loggerheads Are 1!
Venue:
Loggerheads
Times:
From 8.30pm
A Hansel and Gretel themed
evening featuring so many great
talents. Mulled wine, ginger bread
and all the rest...and its FREE!
Come wish one of the best pubs in
Nottingham a very Happy Birthday.
Sunday 03/12
Newton Faulkner
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£7 adv
Times:
7.30pm
Woody
Venue:
Price:
Times:
The Social
£4 adv
8pm - 11pm
Monday 04/12
Damn You! Presents
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£6 / £7
Times:
8pm
Six Organs of Admittance and Last
of The Real Hardmen.
The Men They Couldn’t Hang
Venue:
The Rescue Rooms
Price:
£12.50 adv
Times:
7pm - 10pm
Detonate Presents...
Style:
DnB
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£6 on the door
Times:
11pm - 3.30am
Artificial Intelligence, Kasra,
Fergus and Transit Mafia.
Hosted by Ruthless and P-Fine.
Andy Whittle and Palava
Venue:
Hotel Deux
Price:
Free
Times:
7pm
Danielson
Venue:
Price:
Times:
The Social
£9 adv
8pm - 10:30pm
The Smugglers Inn
Style:
Hiphop, Dubstep
Venue:
Saltwater
Price:
Free
Times:
8pm - 1am
Aled, Alex Traska, Invisible Jim and
Nick Shaw.
Saggy-Pants Presents
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£3
Times:
8pm
Sam Ferris, Ambidextrous and K Eyed.
The Last Town Chorus
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£6 adv
Times:
7pm - 10pm
Enter Shikari
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£8.25
Times:
7.30pm
Enter Shikari are a mix of hardcore
and trance, definitely one to see if
you are into either of the above.
Thursday 07/12
Willard Grant Conspiracy (Solo)
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£10 adv
Times:
8pm - 11pm
Black Wire
Venue:
The Rescue Rooms
Price:
£6 adv
Times:
7:30pm
Saturday 02/12
Dragonforce
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£12.50 adv
Times:
7pm doors
Versus the Night (Japan)
Venue:
Junktion 7
With support from Centurion and
Architects.
Goldie Lookin’ Chain
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£12.50
Times:
7:30pm
Overdrive
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Junktion 7
£2
8pm - 2am
Tuesday 05/12
The Oysterband
Venue:
The Rescue Rooms
Price:
£14 adv
Gary Numan
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£17
Times:
7.30pm doors
Morrissey
Venue:
Price:
Nottingham Arena
£32.50
Placebo
Venue:
Price:
Nottingham Arena
£23.50
TermStyle
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Bar None
Free Entry
9pm - Late
Notekillers
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£6 adv
Times:
8pm - 11pm
Notekillers, Fear Of Flying, The
Lovvers and Nephu Huzzband.
End Of Term(Ish) Skirmish
Venue:
The Social
Times:
11pm - 3am
Fabulous Foxes
Venue:
Rose of England
Price:
£5 (£4 highsoc)
Times:
8pm - late
Word Of Mouth
Venue:
Muse
Price:
£2 (less than a pint)
Times:
9pm - 2am
Liquid Sky
Venue:
Price:
Times:
With support
and Strain.
Junktion 7
£5
8.30pm - 12am
from Awaken, NG26
Thursday 07/12
Wreckless Eric
Venue:
The Rescue Rooms
Price:
£8 adv
Times:
7:30pm
With support from Amy Rigby.
Vile Imbeciles ex 80’s Matchbox
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£5
Times:
From 8pm
Vile Imbeciles, Lo-Ego, Love Ends
Disaster and O’ Lovely Lie.
The Highness Sound System
Style:
Reggae, Roots, Dub
Venue:
BluePrint
Price:
£5
Times:
10pm - late
Friday 08/12
Lobotomy
Venue:
BluePrint
Price:
£6
Times:
9pm - late
Plucking Skanker, Kuss, Glen
Parva, Mark C, Mossop, Dilk,
Mugwump and Nicky Fishmarkett.
Damage Inc
Venue:
The Rig
Price:
£3 b4 11pm
Times:
10pm - 3am
Dollop (Christmas Party)
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£3 / £4
Times:
11pm - 3am
MUSE Live
Venue:
Muse
Price:
£3
Times:
9pm - 2am
An evening with Joe Driscoll.
Trashlight Vision
Venue:
Junktion 7
Price:
£5
Times:
9pm - 2am
Patchwork Grace, Plastic Toys,
DIP and Longdrop.
Stuck In Second
Venue:
Running Horse
Price:
£3
Times:
8.30pm - 12am
Giles Peterson
Venue:
The Market Bar
Price:
£5
Times:
10pm - 3.30am
Kid N Play
Venue:
The Rescue Rooms
Price:
£6
Times:
9.30pm - late
MU-ZIQ, Clark, Kids In Tracksuits,
Too-B and Windows 78.
Redroom hosted by Ambush.
Saturday 09/12
My Milkman has AIDS
Style:
Pop, Hiphop, Cheese
Venue:
The Rescue Rooms
Price:
£5 (NUS)
Times:
10pm - 3am
In the Same Boat presents...
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£3.50
Times:
9pm
The Mothers, Rapunzel MAP
and Alice Rock.
Awakenings
Venue:
Rose of England
Price:
£4 / £5 (NUS)
Times:
7pm - 11pm
Last Pedestrians
Venue:
Hotel Deux
Times:
7pm
Duels
Venue:
Price:
Times:
The Social
£6 adv
7pm - 10pm
Spectrum: Something Different
Style:
Breaks
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£5
Times:
11pm - 4am
Saturday 9/12
Amusement Parks on Fire
Venue:
The Rescue Rooms
Price:
£5 adv
Times:
6pm
With support from Seachange,
This Et Al and Plans and Apologies.
Wholesome Fish
Venue:
Running Horse
Price:
£3
Times:
8.30pm - 12am
Drowned in Sound Clubnight
Venue:
Junktion 7
Price:
£4 / £5 / £6
Times:
8pm - 2am
Computerman, The Screening,
Twentysixfeet, Polar and Exit Calm.
Sunday 10/12
Paolo Nutini
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£13.50 adv
Times:
7:30pm
Ska is Dead Tour
Venue:
Junktion 7
Price:
£8 - £10
Times:
6pm - 12am
The Planet Smashers, Mustard
Plug, Bomb The Music Industry!
Mumrah, Freefallfelix and
Damn Skippy.
Sumac Centre Fundraiser
Venue:
Sumac Centre
Price:
Allforchareedymate.
Times:
11am - 10pm
With stalls showcasing local talent
in arts and crafts, kids activities,
mulled wine, veggy cafe and open
mike night and music.
Care In The Community
Christmas Special
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£4
Times:
8pm - 11pm
Jack Peñate (Acoustic), Laura
Marling and The Video Nasties.
University
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Sinfonia
Lakeside Arts Centre
£8 (NUS)
7.30pm
Monday 11/12
Bibliotheque Discotheque [Get
Hype] for Christmas
Venue:
Bar None
Price:
£2
Times:
9pm - 2am
Runs Until: 21/11
Listen&Learn, Kevin Thunderstrike
and their loyal electro elves and
reindeer. Possibly a band (tbc).
Majik
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£3.50
Times:
8pm
With free cake! Plus guests.
Tuesday 12/12
Dj Shadow
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£18.50
Times:
7.30pm doors
Fionn Regan
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£8
Times:
7.30pm
Six.By Seven
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£10 adv
Times:
8pm - 11pm
With support from Tim Holmes
(Death in Vegas).
LeftLion & Malt Cross Xmas
Party
Venue:
Malt Cross Cafe Bar
Price:
Free
Times:
8pm - 11pm
LeftLion gets festive with an
acoustic night of delights. A week
earlier than usual - you’ve been
warned. With Das Ragworms and
Will Jeffery.
Christmas Gift Ideas from
Funky Monkey
VINYL • CD S • T-SHIRTS • COOL STUFF
New Range of T-Shirts from
The Smiths to the Arctic Monkeys
Massive range of CDs from Hed Kandi to
D&B to Funk, Soul & Broken Beat.
Hip Hop / R & B mixtapes from only £1.99
PLUS: Record Bags / Slipmats / Vinyl / Gift Vouchers for
the man / woman or DJ in your life
14 GOOSE GATE, NOTTINGHAM
0115 956 1181 • [email protected] • Open 10am-6pm Mon-Sat
listings...
music / weeklies / comedy / theatre /exhibitions
Wednesday 13/12
Friday 15/12
Tasty Fanzine and
Dsfar Xmas Party
Venue:
Rose of England
Price:
£3.50
Times:
8pm - 12pm
MJ Hibbett, Orchards and Pete
Green.
Kombination Funk
Style:
DnB, Techno
Venue:
BluePrint
Price:
£5
Times:
10pm - late
Folkwit Records Presents
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£3 / £4
Times:
8pm
Julian Gaskell and guests.
Kasabian
Venue:
Price:
Ralfe Band
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£6
Times:
7pm - 10pm
Satnam’s Tash
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£4.00
Times:
7.30pm doors
With support from Bruce Myers
and John Marriott.
The Great Escape
Venue:
Junktion 7
Price:
tbc
Times:
8:30pm - 12am
Neon Heights
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£5 adv
Times:
7pm - 10pm
Babyshambles
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£17 adv
Times:
7pm
With support from The Holloways,
Noisettes and Frog DJ’s.
Blues Jam Session
Venue:
Running Horse
Price:
Free
Times:
8.30pm - 12am
Colin Staples on stage. Bring your
guitar and play the blues.
Thursday 14/12
The Pogues
Venue:
Nottingham Arena
Price:
£27.50 (+bf)
Fever (4 Deck Set)
Venue:
Dogma
Price:
Free
Times:
10pm - 2am
Plus Pete Jordan.
Emmaculate Thursday
Venue:
The Rig
Price:
£3
Times:
8pm
A sexy blend of Video, Music and
Dance to move minds and feet.
Featuring artists and musicians
whose aim is to please. Powerful
rhythms, solid beats, mind
expanding visuals.
Supernight
Venue:
The Social
Times:
8pm - late
The New Scorpion Band
Venue:
Price:
£12 (NUS)
Times:
7.30pm
Blues Brother Tribute
Venue:
Running Horse
Price:
£4
Times:
8.30pm - 12am
Saggy-Pants Presents
Venue:
Junktion 7
Price:
£4
Times:
8:30pm - 12am
Team Hughes, Majik, Kingsize
Operator and Onion.
The Elementz
Venue:
Muse
Present “Natural Selection” Radio
Show Live with Karizma, MB,
Rukus and MC Killa.
Friday 15/12
Sweet Revenge
Venue:
The Rig
Price:
£3 b4 11pm
Times:
10pm - 3am
Idiot Joy
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£4
Times:
9.30pm
With support from Big Gay
Following and DJ Rick D.
MUSE Live
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Shlomo, Foz
Nottingham Arena
£21
Muse
£4
9pm - 2am
and special guest.
Belle and Sebastian Xmas Party
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£7
Times:
10pm - 4am
With support from Secret Stealth.
The Phonics
Venue:
Running Horse
Price:
£3
Times:
8:30pm - 12am
Stereophonics cover band.
Hot Renault Traffic Club
Venue:
Junktion 7
Price:
£4 / £5 (NUS)
Times:
9pm - 2am
The Risks, Dirty Tux,
Thomas Tantrum, Geezer Safari
and Hail!Zeus
Saturday 16/12
Misst
Style:
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Dubstep, Electronica
BluePrint
£5
10pm - 3am
VinylJacks
Style:
Garage, Sixties
Venue:
The Rescue Rooms
Times:
11.30pm - 3am
Concert for India
Venue:
St Nik’s Church
Price:
£3.50
Times:
7:45pm - 9:30pm(ish)
Magic Car
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Hotel Deux
Free
7pm
The Big
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£5
Times:
9pm
With support from Jimmy The
Squirrel, Beat My Guest and All Too
Aware.
Octoberman
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£5
Times:
7pm - 10pm
Highness Sound System
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£5
Times:
11pm - 4am
Men Women and Children
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£7
Times:
7:30pm
Hard Rock Night
Venue:
Running Horse
Price:
£3pm
Times:
8.30pm - 12am
Sideshow, Tolerance and Spirytus.
Sunday 17/12
The Longest Day
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£25 adv
Times:
7pm
With support from Stiff Little
Fingers, The Damned
and Neville Staple.
Monday 18/12
Joe Driscoll
Venue:
Muse
Price:
Free
Wednesday 20/12
The Thunder Xmas Show
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£27.50
Times:
7:30pm
Nottingham Harmonic Society
Venue:
Royal Centre
Price:
£5 - £10
Nightbreed Christmas Party
Venue:
Junktion 7
Price:
Free / £3
Times:
8pm - 12am
The Church of Nightbreed’s
Xmas party! Featuring 3 gothic
/ industrial bands, DJ Sets, CD
stall (for your last minute Xmas
presents), raffles, presents and
surprises!
Thursday 21/12
Freeman
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Dogma
Free
10pm - 2am
Farmyard Christmas Party In
Aid of Cancer Research
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£4
Times:
8pm - late
1st Blood, The Dirty Backbeats,
Left of The Dealer, Foncheros
and Team Hughes.
Ambush
Style:
Breaks, Electronica
Venue:
The Social
Price:
Free
Times:
10.30pm - 3am
Kid Chameleon, Cut Freqz, Mister
Benn, Casual Breakin’ and Foe.
The Best Of The West End
Venue:
Royal Centre
Price:
£15.50 - £20
The Great Escape
Venue:
Junktion 7
Price:
tbc
Times:
8:30pm - 12am
The 45 Rebellion, The Tom Wardle
Band, The Broken Dolls and Will Jeffery.
Friday 22/12
30 years of Punk Show
Venue:
Marcus Garvey Ballroom
Price:
£20
Times:
7.30pm doors
Bad Manners plus special guest.
Saggy-Pants Xmas Party
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£4
Times:
9pm
Dirty Saint, The Stoatz and
The Deltarays.
The Rubber
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Room DJ’s
The Social
Free
10.30pm - 3am
Majik
Venue:
The Rescue Rooms
Price:
£5
Times:
8pm doors
With support from Left Of The
Dealer and Seretone.
Saturday 23/12
Robbo and
Venue:
Price:
Times:
UK Subs
Venue:
Times:
Disco
Hotel Deux
Free
7pm
Junktion 7
9pm - 2am
Saturday 23/12
Friday 05/01
Spectrum B.E.A.T.S.
Style:
Breaks
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£5
Times:
11pm - 4am
Missill (France) and Pete Jordan.
Pop Confessional Christmas
Party
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£3
Times:
10.30pm - 3am
Rev. Car-Bootleg and
Paul (Just the Tonic).
Nottingham Harmonic Society
Venue:
Royal Centre
Price:
£5 - £10
Tuesday 26/12
The Almighty
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£15
Times:
7.30 doors
Thursday 28/12
Basement Boogaloo
Venue:
Maze
Price:
tbc
Times:
10pm
Xmas Party with Ame (Sonar
Kollektiv).
Wigflexmas Party
Style:
DnB, Hiphop, Dubstep
Venue:
Muse
Price:
99p
Times:
9pm - 3am
Live set from Vinyl [Abort].
Friday 29/12
AOR
Style:
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Rock
The Rig
£3 b4 11pm
10pm - 2am
Stomper!
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£3
Christmas and New Year Rave Up!
Poppycock
Venue:
Moog
Price:
Free
Times:
8pm - 12am
Demo
Venue:
Price:
Times:
BluePrint
£5
9pm - 2am
Saturday 30/12
The McGanns
Venue:
Hotel Deux
Price:
Free
Times:
7pm
The Running Water
Venue:
Royal Centre
Price:
£15 adv £20 otd
Times:
7.30pm
Bocajito
Venue:
Moog
Price:
Free
Times:
8pm - 12am
Bob Sadler, Ron Basejam
(Crazy P), Tom Bailey and
Cal Gibson (Neon Heights).
Sunday 31/12
New Year’s Eve
See featured listing on page 28
Thursday 04/01
Style:
Reggae, Roots, Dub
Venue:
BluePrint
Price:
£5
Times:
10pm - late
Friday 05/01
Mascara Mascara
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£3 b4 11pm (NUS)
Times:
10pm - 3am
Pure Filth
Style:
Techno, DnB, House
Venue:
BluePrint
Times:
10pm - late
Saturday 06/01
Wildside Clubnight
Venue:
Junktion 7
Price:
tbc
Times:
9pm - 2am
Damn You!
Venue:
Rose of England
Price:
£4 / £5
Times:
8:30pm
Birchville Cat Motel, Peter Wright
and Gareth Hardwick.
Sunday 07/01
Killswitch
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Engage
Rock City
£15 adv
7:30pm
Wednesday 10/01
Sodastream
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£6
Times:
7pm - 10pm
Sodastream, Airport Girl and
Monkey Swallows The Universe
Thursday 11/01
Kevin Montgomery and his band
Venue:
Maze
Times:
7.30pm
Friday 12/01
Fame
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Royal Centre
various
Evenings 8pm,
Saturday 4pm
Runs Until: 20/01
Spectrum
Venue:
Stealth
Price:
£7 adv
Times:
10pm - 4am
Hexadecimal, Freeman and more tbc
Love Ends Disaster!
Venue:
The Rescue Rooms
Price:
£4
Times:
8pm
With support from Lo-Ego,
Quartershade and
We Show Up On Radar.
The Rubber Room DJ’s
Venue:
The Social
Price:
Free
Times:
10.30pm - 3am
Teenage Casket Company
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£4
Times:
8pm
With support from Ten Foot Dolls.
Lobotomy
Venue:
BluePrint
Price:
£6
Times:
9pm - late
Saturday 13/01
My Milkman has AIDS
Style:
Pop, Hiphop, Cheese
Venue:
The Rescue Rooms
Price:
Free - £6 (NUS)
Times:
10pm - 3am
listings...
Saturday 13/01
Now It’s Overhead
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£6 adv
Times:
7pm - 10pm
Spectrum: Something Different
Style:
Breaks
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£5
Times:
11pm - 4am
Drowned in Sound Clubnight
Venue:
Junktion 7
Times:
9pm - 2am
LeftLion Presents
Venue:
The Orange Tree
Price:
Free
Times:
8pm - 12am
A week later than usual to avoid the
new year come-down, although if it’s
still lingering this night of electronica
will sort you out nicely. Formication,
Modulator ESP and Emkah.
music / weeklies / comedy / theatre /exhibitions
Sunday 21/01
Chris Knight
Venue:
Maze
Times:
7.30pm doors
Tuesday 23/01
Acoustic Tuesdays Presents...
Venue:
Malt Cross Cafe Bar
Price:
Free
Times:
8pm - 12am
Wednesday 24/01
Nasantara Presents
Venue:
Price:
£10 (NUS)
Times:
8pm
Halle
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Royal Centre
£8 - £29
7.30pm
Thursday 25/01
Tuesday 16/01
LeftLion Unplugged
Venue:
Malt Cross Cafe Bar
Price:
Free
Times:
8pm - 12am
Our first unplugged session at the
Malt Cross of 2007, come along,
relax and drink. With Jezz Hall and
Starscreen. More tbc.
Thursday 18/01
Supernight
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£3
Times:
8pm - late
The Boy Least Likely To
Venue:
The Rescue Rooms
Price:
£8
Times:
6:30pm
Friday 19/01
Sweet Revenge
Venue:
The Rig
Price:
£3 b4 11pm
Times:
10pm - 3am
Underground Railroad
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£6
Times:
8pm - 11pm
With support from Rose Kemp.
Stopmer!
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£3
Times:
10.30pm - 2am
DJ Martin Nesbit and some very
special guests.
Lois
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£4
Times:
9pm doors
Lois, The Henry Road and
The Pretty Little Flowers.
Kombination Funk
Style:
DnB, Techno,
Venue:
BluePrint
Price:
£5
Times:
10pm - late
Saturday 20/01
Style:
Roots, Reggae, Dub
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£5
Times:
11pm - 3am
Amen
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£9
Times:
7:30pm
Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly. Not Your
Hero, The Decemberists
and Guillemots.
The Mighty Present: The Apples
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£6 adv / £7 door
Times:
9pm - late
Mighty Funk Collective DJs.
The Great Escape
Venue:
Junktion 7
Price:
£3
Times:
8pm
Ambush
Style: Mashup
Venue: The Social
Price: Free
Times: 10.30pm - 3am
Kid Chameleon, Cut Freqz,
Mister Benn and Foe.
London Winds
Venue:
Price:
£12
Times:
7pm
Friday 26/01
AOR
Style:
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Rock
The Rig
£3 b4 11pm
10pm - 2am
Dollop - Live
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£4
Times:
11pm - 3am
Saggy Pants Presents
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£4
Times:
9pm
Robots Talk in Twos, Sidearm
and more tbc.
Hot Renault Traffic Club
Venue:
Junktion 7
Demo
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Style:
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Fresh, Brian
BluePrint
£5
9pm - 2am
DnB, Dubstep, Hiphop
Stealth
£10
10pm - 4am
G and more.
Saturday 27/01
Spectrum B.E.A.T.S.
Style:
Breaks
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£5
Times:
11pm - 4am
Hundred Reasons
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£10 adv
Times:
7:30pm
Chorale For The Cauldrons Of Hell
Venue:
Price:
£9 (NUS)
Times:
8pm
Poppycock
Venue:
Moog
Price:
Free
Times:
8pm - 12am
Tuesday 30/01
Headlined Open Mic
Venue:
Malt Cross Cafe Bar
Price:
Free
Times:
8:30pm
The Radio Dept.
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£7
Times:
8pm - 11pm
Ray Lamontagne
Venue:
Royal Centre
Price:
£17.50
Times:
7pm
Bocajito
Venue:
Moog
Price:
Free
Times:
8pm - 12am
Bob Sadler, Ron Basejam
(Crazy P), Tom Bailey and
Cal Gibson (Neon Heights).
Wednesday 31/01
Simply Ballroom
Venue:
Royal Centre
Price:
£20.50 - £22.50
Times:
8pm
Weeklies
Fridays
Nuts
Style:
Venue:
Times:
Indie, House
Media
10pm - 2am
Love Shack
Style:
Eighties, Nineties
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£4 / £5
Times:
9.30pm - 2am
Sundays
Jazz at the Bell
Style:
Jazz
Venue:
Bell Inn
Price:
Free
Times:
12.30pm – 3am
The Underground Sessions
Venue:
Snug
Price:
Free
Times:
9pm - 4am
Out To Lunch
Style:
Jazz
Venue:
Dogma
Price:
Free
Times:
Afternoon
Moog is Sunday
Style:
Relaxed, Funk
Venue:
Moog
Price:
Free
Times:
12pm - 12am
We Love
Style:
Acoustic
Venue:
Hotel Deux
Price:
Free
Times:
8pm
It’s live and almost acoustic.
Eclectic open mic night.
Nottingham School of Samba
Workshops
Style:
Samba
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£10 per year
Times:
7pm - 9:30pm
Mondays
Wednesdays
Wigflex
Style:
Hiphop, DnB, Dubstep
Venue:
Stone
Price:
Free
Times:
9pm - late
Spam Chop playing beats, breaks
hiphop, techie house and all sorts
else. With live breakdancers, free
N64 and visuals by Synoptics.
LeftLion Pub Quiz
Venue:
Golden Fleece
Our weekly pub quiz continues
at the Fleece, come down and
you could win a load of beer or
a meal for your team and more
importantly have a laugh.
Electric Banana
Venue:
The Social
Price:
£2
Times:
10.30pm - 3am
Thursdays
Homegrown
Venue:
Hotel Deux
Price:
Free
Times:
7pm
The best of Nottingham’s talented
singer-songwriters.
Noodle
Venue:
Price:
The Spot
Free
Music Saves The Day
Venue:
Bluu
Times:
9pm - late
Rock Jam Session
Style:
Rock
Venue:
Running Horse
Price:
Free
Times:
8.30pm - 12am
Tuned
Style:
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Indie, Alternative, Pop
Rock City
£3.60 - £4 (NUS)
10pm - 4am
Audio
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Snug
£5 (NUS)
10pm - 4am
Motherfunker
Venue:
The Cookie Club
Price:
£1 before 11pm
Times:
8.30pm - 12am
Mirrorball
Venue:
Snug
Price:
£4 (NUS)
Times:
10pm – 4am
Atomic
Style:
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Eighties, Nineties
The Cookie Club
£4 (NUS)
10.30pm - 3am
Salt
Style:
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Dogma Presents
Style:
Hiphop, Breaks
Venue:
Dogma
Price:
Varies
Times:
9pm - 2am
Various live acts every week.
Hiphop, House, Breaks
Dogma
Free
7pm - 2am
Open Mic Night
Venue:
Golden Fleece
Price:
Free
Times:
8.30 - 12am
Come down at 8pm to secure a
15min slot. With special featured
artists each week at 10.30pm.
Pop.Your_Funk
Venue:
Bluu
Price:
Free
Times:
9pm - late
Saturdays
Uberism
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Media
£8 before 12am £10 after
10pm - 2am
Stealth V Rescued
Venue:
Stealth / Rescue Rooms
Price:
£5
Times:
5pm - 4am
Saturday Night live
Venue:
Hotel Deux
Price:
Free
Times:
7pm
Rise and Shine / Funk U
Style:
Alternative, Nineties
Venue:
The Cookie Club
Price:
£5 (NUS)
Times:
10.30pm - 3am
Stylus
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Snug
£6 (NUS)
10pm - 4am
Essence
Style:
Venue:
Price:
House, RnB
Mode
£5
Distortion
Style:
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Rock, Alternative
Rock City
£5 (NUS)
9pm - 2.30am
Tuesdays
Crash
Style:
Indie, Alternative
Venue:
Rock City
Price:
£3 (NUS)
Times:
9.30pm - 2am
Crash is Nottingham’s longest
running indie night.
Open Mic Night
Style:
Acoustic
Venue:
Running Horse
Price:
Free
Times:
8.30pm - 12am
The Horseshoe Lounge
Style:
Country
Venue:
Hotel Deux
Cowboy Fun! Americana,
bluegrass and country.
Blah Blah Blah
Style:
Indie, Funk, Soul
Venue:
Muse
Price:
Free
Wednesdays
The Big Wednesday
Style:
Alternative, Rock, Pop
Venue:
Cookie Club (The)
Price:
£2.50 (NUS)
Times:
10.30pm - 2am
Wednesdays Student Night
Style:
Funk, Soul
Venue:
Dogma
Price:
Free
Times:
9pm - 2am
Jazz Night
Venue:
Variety Club
Price:
Free
Times:
7:30pm doors
Live music, vegetarian food on
offer, an after show party and a
really great atmosphere. Full of
relaxed, friendly people all looking
for a different kind of night out.
Club NME
Style:
Venue:
Price:
Times:
Indie, Rock, Alternative
Stealth
£2 - £4
10pm - 2am
Vice
Style:
Pop, House, RnB
Venue:
Media
Times:
10pm - 2am
Vice invites you to indulge your
musical and clubbing fantasies.
Satisfy those saucy pleasures with
a hedonistic night of untamed
anthems. An eclectic mix of hot
pop to funky house and rnb.
Spam Chop
Style:
Dubstep, Breaks, Funk
Venue:
Brass Monkey
Price:
Free
Times:
7pm
Scratch, breaks, beats and ‘ting.
Singer / Songwriters Night
Style:
Acoustic
Venue:
Raffles Art Cafe
Price:
Free
Times:
8.30pm - 12am
Live Thursdays
Venue:
Golden Fleece
Price:
Free
Times:
8.30pm - 12am
Live music every week.
listings...
Friday 01/12
weeklies / music / comedy / theatre /exhibitions
Friday 22/12
Just the Tonic - Christmas
Special Extreme
Venue:
Royal Centre
Price:
£17.50
Times:
7.30pm start
Daniel Kitson is compere for the
following acts: Ed Byrne, Noel
Fielding, Rob Rouse and
David O’Doherty.
Fred Eaglesmith (USA)
Venue: Maze
Price:
£9 adv
Times: 7.30pm
A mix of passionate, funny and
moving music, ridiculously funny
comedy, honest tears and poignant
observations all at once. As one
reviewer said, “It takes a jaded
soul to leave a Fred Eaglesmith
show unaffected.”
Wednesday 06/12
LeftLion Pub Quiz
Venue: Golden Fleece
Our weekly pub quiz continues at
the Fleece, come down and you
could win a load of beer or a meal
for your team.
Jongleurs
Venue: Jongleurs
Price:
Various
Times: 6:30pm
With Dave Williams, Anthony King,
Curtis Walker and Rex Boyd.
Runs Until: 9/12
Monday 11/12
Jongleurs
Venue: Jongleurs
Price:
Various
Times: 6:30pm
With Brendan Riley, Matthew
Hardy, Brian Higgins and Jeff
Innocent.
Runs Until: 15/12
Wednesday 13/12
LeftLion Pub Quiz
Venue:
Golden Fleece
for your team.
Thursday 14/12
Fun House Comedy Club
Venue:
Grosvenor
Christmas Special featuring bubbly
Irish livewire Janice Phayre,
Manchester satirist Matt Seber,
Rodney Marques and comic
creation Ivan Brackenbury, a
Hospital Radio DJ.
Tuesday 19/12
Comedy’s X-Factor
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£3 / £4 (NUS)
Times:
8pm
12 acts battle it out with selected
audience judges who use red and
green cards to vote the comedians
off. Lots of fun and laughter.
Jongleurs
Venue:
Jongleurs
Price:
Various
Times:
6:30pm
With Raymond Mearns, Simon
Bligh, Sinck and JoJo Smith.
Runs Until: 23/12
Just the Tonic has been lauded as
the best comedy club outside of
London. It has a tradition of finding
new talent and booking quality
established talent. Johnny Vegas
claims it’s the ‘best club in the
country’.
Wednesday 27/12
LeftLion Pub Quiz
Venue:
Golden Fleece
for your team.
Ken Dodd Happiness Show
Venue:
Royal Centre
Price:
£15 - £18
Times:
7pm
A chance to be entertained by the
madcap funnyman. An evening
of tattifilarious fun is always
guaranteed when Ken Dodd’s in
town!
Sunday 31/12
Jongleurs
Venue:
Jongleurs
Price:
£50
Times:
6:30pm
With JoJo Smith, Anthony King,
Johnny Candon and Colin Cole.
Tuesday 16/01
Funhouse Comedy Club
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£4
Times:
8pm
Tuesday 30/01
Fun house Comedy club
Venue:
Maze
Price:
£4
Times:
8pm doors
Theatre
Friday 01/12
Cinderella
Venue:
Playhouse
Price:
£7 - £17
Times:
Various
Doomed to drudgery by her vicious
stepsisters, Cinderella can only
dream of escape and romance.
Playhouse favourites Jeffrey
Longmore and John Elkington are
ugly sister act Bella and Donna,
in Kenneth Alan Taylor’s 23rd
Playhouse pantomime. Prepare
for upbeat songs, high energy
dancing, outrageous costumes and
glitter aplenty.
Runs Until: 20/01
Monday 04/12
Friday 08/12
Aladdin
Venue:
Royal Centre
Price:
£11 - £19
The East Midlands’ biggest
pantomime, offering family
entertainment from a star-studded
cast. They have Claire Sweeney
as Aladdin, Christopher Biggins as
Widow Twankey, Basil Brush as the
Chief of Police and Mark Moraghan
as Abanazar.
Runs Until: 21/01
Saturday 9/12
Robin Hood: Babes In The Wood
Venue:
Notts Arts Theatre
Price:
£8.50 - £10
Times:
Various
A pantomime for all the family to
jeer the bad and cheer the good
as Robin and his Merry Men battle
to save the Babes from the evil
Sheriff of Nottingham, with songs,
smiles, quips and capers.
Runs Until: 07/12
Sunday 10/12
Whenever
Venue:
Lace Market Theatre
Price:
£6 - £8.50 (NUS)
Times:
Various
By Alan Ayckbourn - a comedy
time travel alternative to
pantomime.
Runs Until: 16/12
Wednesday 13/12
The Sound Collector
Venue:
Playhouse
Price:
£4.50 / £5.50
Combines Roger McGough’s
delightful poetry with a gentle,
funny story of friendship and
tolerance.
Runs Until: 23/12
Friday 15/12
War of the Worlds
Venue:
Nottingham Arena
Price:
£39.50
You’ve seen the movie, heard the
music and listened to the radio
show now you can see The War
Of The Worlds live at Nottingham
Arena. The musical version of
H G Well’s famous novel of alien
invasion.
Tuesday 19/12
CBeebies Live
Venue:
Nottingham Arena
Price:
£12.50 - £20 (+bf)
Times:
1:45pm and 4:45pm
Monday 22/01
The Circus Of Horrors
Venue:
Royal Centre
Price:
£14 - £22
Times:
7:30pm
The Circus of Horrors is back with a
brand new show that will have you
sitting on the edge of your seat.
The new show ‘The Evilution’
threatens to stimulate all the
senses, with new acts and new
shocks. The show still contains
crowd favourites but they are all
intermingled with fakirs and death
defying circus acts.
Tuesday 23/01
Wednesday 20/12
LeftLion Pub Quiz
Venue:
Golden Fleece
for your team.
Chicago
Venue:
Royal Centre
A look back at vaudeville, a timely
satire on fame, celebrity trials,
corruption, cheque book journalism
and the American legal system.
Runs Until: 16/12
Kiss Me Kate
Venue:
Notts Arts Theatre
Price:
£6 - £10
Times:
Various
A musical performance of
Shakespeare’s Taming of the
Shrew.
Runs Until: 27/01
Tuesday 23/01
To Kill A Mockingbird
Venue:
Royal Centre
Price:
£10 - £21.50
This most beloved and widely
read Pulitzer Prize winner tells the
extraordinary and unforgettable
story of life in the American Deep
South through the inquiring eyes
of a child.
Brother and sisters growing up
during the 1930s depression have
their idyllic childhood innocence
shattered by the realisation that
bigotry and prejudice rule in their
small redneck town of Maycomb,
Alabama. When their father
Atticus, a liberal and principled
lawyer, defends a young black man
falsely accused of raping a white
woman, the whole family become
the target of gossip and abuse.
Runs Until: 27/01
Friday 01/12
The Postcard Show 2006
Venue:
Surface Gallery
Price:
Free
Times:
Tue-Sat: 11am - 5pm
Anyone Can Make Art! Artists
of all backgrounds and standing
have been invited to submit
entries under the single condition
that all works must fit within
the prescribed dimensions of
a 6”X 4” postcard. Other than
that, anything goes, and all work
submitted is exhibited. This
results in a show notable for its
eclecticism and diversity, offering
an insight into the creative world
of Nottingham and beyond.
Runs Until: 23/11
Saturday 09/12
Friday 26/01
Big Time American Wrestling
Venue:
Royal Centre
Price:
£8 - £10
Times:
7.30pm
Tracey Beaker
Venue:
Playhouse
Price:
£14 / £12
You’ve read The Story of Tracy
Beaker by Children’s Laureate
Jacqueline Wilson, now see the
show from playwright and BAFTA
nominated BBC TV series writer
Mary Morris.
Runs Until: 27/01
Sunday 28/01
Halfway to Paradise
Venue:
Royal Centre
Price:
£14.50 - £16.50
Times:
7.30pm
Monday 29/01
Rocky Horror Show
Venue:
Royal Centre
Price:
£10 - £29 adv
Runs Until: 03/02
Tuesday 30/01
Protein Dance
Venue:
Lakeside
Price:
£12 (NUS)
Times:
8pm
With Big Sale, from Luca
Silvestrini. It promises to be
an often hilarious, occasionally
horrifying, satire on celebrity
and consumer culture. A sly mix
of high-energy performance,
dialogue, pop music, props
and live video.
Exhibitions
Friday 01/12
From Parchment to Pixels
Venue:
Price:
Free
The lives of individuals,
including stories of bigamy and
impersonation, are traced through
archival records. Rare books, maps
and photographs describe places
at home and abroad. Evidence of
early local advertising is illustrated
in ephemeral papers.
Runs Until: 09/03
Emerged Emerging
Venue:
Sandfield Centre
Price:
£5
Times:
7.30p,
A showcase of black and asian
artists work.
Nottingham Vegan Festival
Venue:
YMCA Fitness Centre
Price:
Free
Times:
11am - 5pm
The East Midlands Vegan Festival
is fast becoming a regular event,
promoting a healthy diet that
doesn’t compromise on taste.
Whether you’re a committed
vegan or vegetarian or simply
interested in finding new ways to
make your healthy lifestyle more
fun, come and see what’s on
offer. It’s an informal affair with a
wide range of stalls, activities and
information.
Saturday 06/01
Chinese Paintings
Venue:
Price:
Free
To celebrate Chinese New Year
Sun Lin, Professor of Traditional
Chinese Paintings at the University
of Sichuan and contemporaries
from the Sichuan province exhibit
their work.
Runs Until: 18/02
Saturday 13/01
Gordon Cheung
Venue:
Price:
Free
Epic in scale and content, Gordon
Cheung’s landscapes recall the
apocalyptic visions of John Martin
and the timeless floating world
of traditional Chinese brush and
ink landscapes brought bang up
to date with psychedelic spray
paint colours, graffiti and collaged
Financial Times listings. He paints
a flickering world of information
overload, where virtual reality
merges with the urban landscape.
Runs Until: 25/02
To get listed on these pages, add
your event to leftlion.co.uk. By
doing so we’ll include you in the
magazine, it’s completely free and
simple to do. Use this form:
leftlion.co.uk/add
Please note. We try to ensure that
all events are correct at time of
print, but please check before you
set off to avoid disappointment.
This issue’s Nottsword is themed around stuff related
to Christmas. The prize is the LeftLion Editors least
favourite Christmas present and a load of those little
toys that you get free in crackers. Congratulations
to Osanna Williams from West Bridgford, who dared
to enter last time around. She wins some CDs and a
mystery prize purchased from LIDL.
CURRENT CLUES ACROSS:
2.
4.
5.
10.
13.
15.
16.
17.
19.
Tchaikovsky’s ball buster (10)
Found by Reggie Dwight “in the wind” (6)
Labour vendor (8)
A squirrel’s lunch roasted on an open fire (9)
Aled Jones’ mate (7)
Mansfield Town mascot’s winter cousin (8)
What kids get for Christmas (4)
A piece of cloud dandruff (9)
Often hugged by hippies (4)
CURRENT CLUES DOWN:
1.
3.
6.
7.
8.
9.
11.
12.
13.
14.
17.
18.
The path to inebriation (8)
Commemorate good times c’mon! (9)
Born in a stable (5)
LeftLion’s monthly shindig at the Orange Tree (8)
Have a kiss under Viscum Album (9)
Tapering mass of ice formed by the freezing of dripping water (6)
15 across with a red illumination (7)
Trigger Happy Dom’s surname (5)
Westwood would pimp this for Mr. Claus (6)
Robin Hood’s men after a few beers (5)
Often found lodged in chimneys (5)
Orlando’s middle earth crew (5)
The LeftLion Pub Quiz has returned to it’s rightful home at the Golden Fleece on
Wednesday nights. Blessed be to all of those who take part in this most fiendish
and devilish of intellectual contests. Those brave souls compete to win a gallon
of beer or a meal for them and their friends in this gladiatorial battle of the minds
and beer bellies. Sample some of the weekly delights below...
TV CATCHPHRASES
Which programmes have these theme tune lyrics been
taken from?
6. “Ground floor perfumery, stationery and leather goods,
wigs and haberdashery kitchenware and food, going up.”
7. “He’s terrific, He’s magnific, he’s the greatest secret
agent in the world.”
8. “Once upon a time there were three little girls who went
to the Police Academy.”
9. “Fighting the system like two modern-day Robin Hoods.”
10. “Gotta move like a streetwise fighter, gotta face the fire
of the tiger, gotta give your all to win. Ready or not, let the
challenge begin”.
NOTTINGHAMIA
11. Which local football club did Harold Shipman support?
12. Which estate in Nottingham will be undergoing a £46m
rebuilding project over the next five years?
13. Which former manager recently sued Nottingham Forest
for £50,000?
14. Which political party will be holding their 2007 spring
conference in Nottingham?
15. Which pub was voted ‘worst in Nottingham’ by LeftLion
forum members?
BONUS: What theme pub was voted second worst?
FOOD AND DRINK
16. Which UK politician is believed to have invented Mr
Whippy ice cream?
17. If you were in New York and you ordered a Hero, what
would you be eating?
18. Which brand of drink (the third most popular in the
world) was invented in Nazi Germany?
19. The seeds of which fruit contain a cyanide compound?
20. Which dish was invented in Birmingham in the 1980s,
and is named after the Hindu word for ‘bucket’?
SPORT
21. How many Premiership teams did Notts County knock
out of this season’s League Cup?
22. Which sport requires players to wear letters instead of
numbers?
23. Which local club was the first in the world to spell out
its name on the seats of its stand?
24. Bo Hamburger, Djamolidine Abdoujaparov, Alexandre
Vinokourov and Jaan Kirsipuu are big names in which sport?
25. Name two cities outside of Europe which have hosted
the Summer Olympics.
THE MAVERICK ROUND: JAMES BOND
26. Robbie Williams ripped off the theme tune to which
Bond film with the single Millennium?
27. Which Bond once appeared on Spitting Image as a block
of wood with moving eyebrows?
28. Which eighties to early nineties gameshow host played
James Bond on South African radio?
29. Which Bond had a bit part as an IRA terrorist in the final
scene of The Long Good Friday?
30. How many official movie Bonds have there been?
BONUS: Name them all in order.
ANSWERS:
ANIMAL MAGIC: 1. An elephant and a donkey; 2. Napoleon;
3. Switzerland; 4. Badgers; 5. Cats. TV CATCHPHRASES: 6.
Are you being served?; 7. Dangermouse; 8. Charlie’s Angels;
9. The Dukes of Hazzard; 10. Gladiators. NOTTINGHAMIA:
11. Notts County; 12. St Ann’s; 13. David Platt; 14.
Conservatives; 15. Yates; bonus: Re-flex. FOOD & DRINK:
16. Margaret Thatcher; 17. A sandwich; 18. Fanta; 19.
Apples; 20. Balti. SPORT: 21. One (Middlesbrough); 22.
Netball; 23. Nottingham Forest; 24. Cycling; 25. St Louis, Los
Angeles, Tokyo, Mexico City, Montreal, Seoul, Atlanta, or
Sydney. MAVERICK ROUND: 26. You Only Live Twice; 27.
Roger Moore; 28. Bob Holness; 29. Pierce Brosnan; 30. Six;
bonus: Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton, Brosnan, Craig
ANIMAL MAGIC
1. The main political parties in the USA are represented by
which two animals?
2. What was the name of the pig in George Orwell’s
Animal Farm who was based on Josef Stalin?
3. What country made the TV show Pingu?
4. Who are the largest indigenous carnivores in the UK?
5. ‘A clowder’ is the description for a group of which
animals?
35
Bagels
words: The Shedfixman
illustration: Alasdair Couch
Bagels. Bagels, eh? Right. Anybody wanna tell me what
bagels is all about? Huh? Last week I saw Annabel Croft
in a South London Waitrose and she was daintily holding
a bag of bagels between her thumb and middle finger
and delicately dropping it onto the pile of healthy options
in her cart. Once again, all the bagel questions I always
wanted to ask came bubbling to the surface, beginning
with ’What’s actually the point of a buying an oily, gooey,
un-sliceable chunk of internally stale cack, with twenty
per cent missing from the centre?’
If you went down the local bakery and asked for half a dozen
cobs and the baker then slapped them onto the counter and
then pulled out a piece of scaffold piping, chonked all the
middles out and charged you the same price, his missus
would have him sectioned… after you’d both chinned the
nutter first, of course!
So, you’ve got the things home and you’ve managed to slice
one in half without too much of it all over the worktop; how
do you butter it? Spin and swipe at the same time? Or do you
put it on a circular table and walk around it? Twice for the
other half? Or one swoop and hope for the best, so that the
bit that you don’t see falling into the hole doesn’t get all over
yer fingers when it warms up later?
The next dilemma is filling. Let’s say you want a slice of nice
ham or beef. What do you do? One normal slice which fills in
the hole when you put it back together, in which case, what’s
the point of the hole in the first place?
36
When you eat the middle bit of meat, which has no resistance
from the compacted bread, it pulls a big buttery shred out,
which slops down onto yer chin and makes you look a slob
twat in company. Or do you make a prat of yerself chopping
and shaping the meat to fit around in a circle?
What about when I fancy a bit of cheese and onion? ‘Hello,
Mr Greengrocer! An onion the size of a medium volleyball
please, so I can sit and peel layers upon layers away until it’s
the same circumference as me bagel, then chop it in half and
hope I poke the right size out the middle, so I don’t have to
come back for another! Cheese? See above! Fried egg? Don’t
even think about it, unless it’s for a prank. Salad? Go and do
a jigsaw instead. Toast it? Doesn’t retain moisture, so it’s like
eating polystyrene.
So what can you do with the useless fucking things?
Simple… just upgrade to pretzels instead, accompanied
by a crate of Erdinger Weissbier. Solid crust, which keeps
the inside soft enough to soak up the litres and it’s got
crafty little granules of salt on the glaze, in case yer sodium
levels drop on the way back to the Weissbier shop. Okay,
technically more holes, but you don’t have to fart about
with fillings, these are scoff as seen. I recommend one large
pretzel per three litres of beer. For all you hoodlums who’ve
yet to sample the esoteric delights of this brand of beer, get
yersens along to the ‘Fade/Hard to find Café’ halfway up
Mansfield Rd. It’s the only place for a hundred and thirty
miles which has it on tap and make sure you get a slice of
lemon or orange in the top. Sorry… did I somehow manage to
drag the conversation round to beer again?
I am a circle
by Girlie
I am a circle
I am not square
Do not tell me to change the colour of my hair
to fit in better with you and your share
of supposed friends
You all look alike
Act the same
Wear the same clothes and same old lame
words that hurt me and make me feel shame
of living as me
Do not mould me
Embrace who I am
Like you I feel hurt and like the Lamb
I will not hate you or berate the same old sham
of who you are
I am a circle
It’s you that is square
Do not try to change me, I cannot and will not bear
the same as you do in your lair
of wickedness
Don’t try to change me
Are you happy? No.
Then let me be
If I was a manatee
by Jack Twatt
If I was a manatee, I wouldn’t be for long,
as manatees are silly beasts that live in shallow ponds.
If I was a manatee, no doubt I would be dead,
as fishing boats run over me and bonk me on the head.
If I was a manatee my life would be so dull,
but only for a short time due to propellers to the skull.
Fake Endings
by Harry Wilding
...and as the vicar pulled the bloodstained knife out
Winnie the Pooh’s chest, he gently said to Snow White,
with a shrug of his shoulders: “That’s the way the cookie
crumbles.” THE END
...and so, human beings became extinct and platypus-kind
took control of the Earth. THE END
The penguin, Dave the dog and little Dennis never spoke of
that night in the brothel again. THE END
So the US of A saved the world, single handedly, again; god
bless them. THE END
Tony and George lived happily ever after. THE END
James and Kim were suddenly startled by the nun, who
quietly appeared from the shadows, at the top of the bell
tower; “I heard voices,” she said, flatly, which made Kim
scream and stumble back, falling over the edge of the tower
to her death.
“What was that all about?” James asked, a frown on his
face. THE END
George gave a cheesy smile and said to the children; “So,
kids; the moral of the story is, if you can’t beat them...
cheat.” THE END
or should I move away from her booty?
My eyes are transfixed
as she dances those hips,
sweat drips from my grip,
my pint nearly slips.
Anticipation so great my heartbeat’s racing,
The girl I’m facing’s amazing.
I hasten to add, with her by my side
I’d be glad to retire from the chasing.
So why am I waiting?
It’s easy, it seems, to keep a dream
you never try and achieve.
If you choose to go through with it,
face the truth, you risk losing it.
This might be amusing to you, but I’m losing it.
The swagger and flair I normally move with
has vanished into the air, I’m staggering useless.
In my mind mumbling lines,
topical nonsense about the state of the times.
Should I stroll up to her side,
offer some tropical juice or a wine?
Can’t find my stride, can’t catch her eye,
Eh, what’s that? Who’s this guy,
rolled up at her side?
He must be her brother or gay mate.
He can’t be her playmate.
The drink he passes, it must be a date rape.
She thanks him with a kiss,
and with his hand on her hip,
I watch the light of my life slowly eclipse.
I turn away, oh shit.
Still, she had kind of wonky lips.
Skin Cancer
by Toking Jon
Breathe, between your drink and feed…
And sleep, before you wake, to walk…
Unquestionable activities,
beyond what we were taught.
Blink, before you think to speak…
Then defecate and urinate,
perspire and bleed…
Looped picture books, teach us, to read…
Compulsory, obligatory, pre-programmed mammal deeds…
Dress to cover innocence…
Regress, to ask the told questions…
And stress - to grab your yoke pensions…
Hard to find the wisdom, in a single one of these…
So rub, and learn to rub it better…
Run and turn, and friction master…
Break and mend, and cry, with laughter…
Such appear the symptoms, of our soon forgot disease…
Compiled, like keys of telephones…
The same numbers, encased in bones…
And viewed, through ancient dialing codes…
To dot the air, and slash out roads…
Tunnel the ground, quarry the ores…
This all; to make our monstrous miracle…
These spreading layers, of melanoma homes…
To Stab the Blubbery Mass
by Pandapad
I’d do it with a compass, or,
I’d do it with a pitchfork.
Stab the blubbery mass.
watch its hideous self pretence
ooze out like so many drops
of blood and squirmy gunk.
Her Movements
by Mr Jones
I’d level it with a short, hard
slab of concrete. Dropped from above
like a vengeful Flash Gordon,
Intent on destroying this squid like
affair.
Her movements as tunes play
move me in crude ways.
Is it rude to make moves on this beauty
Crush the matter, Stab the matter
My sole intent, your soul to batter
I’d do it with a pitchfork,
I’d do it with a hammer.
To Stab This Blubbery Mass
is my one true intent.
To land the killer blow
would be an easy enough affair.
To penetrate with grinding certainty,
the thinner the steel the better.
It’s necessary to watch you squirm,
you see.
The last agonising death throes, no concern to me.
To Stab The Blubbery Mass, is no concern to me.
Shame on us!
by Emcee Killa
The land slides like a bottleneck, for all the years man tried,
Plans lie in a cobbled mess,
A lot of stress from a settlers creatorship, exploit the
natives,
In turn create dictatorship,
On how you should live, the values held by a book of law,
Crooked to think that every woman stays inferior,
Now erect a dominant breed, stripped equality,
Stay ever watching the seams of this economy,
So follow me, open your eyes into a rappers ideologies,
Proper speech hidden by authority,
Nothing can stop us, please study the autonomy that you
possess,
Thoroughly, your eyes see different to another peeps,
We’re not a force of a nature, and where was God when
Bush started forcing labour,
And where was God when brown gave my uncles favours,
And where is God now the jews are blowing up our
neighbours…
It’s why I team up with Javelin and TQ,
To watch our society and management we see through,
Damaging on each crew, the water of a oily world,
Separated lives of the clued up boys and girls,
You have to learn to destroy the pearls,
Take out material instincts, get it lifted,
So we can stand every person that we sit with,
And stop banging on for your faith in your district,
Its sometimes sad we reside in our place of birth,
Stay ignorant to the life of our sacred earth,
Amazing words being spoken, the greatest curse lifted,
Its open to make it heard,
Fixed with closest remaining verbs, explaining
We gotta make it work,
Now faith turns to fate, cos we’re hating the fact that safety
is shaken.
An ode to Gary Megson
by Beast of the Bay
You were wiggidy wack - don’t come back,
You managed like you were hooked on smack,
I’m proud my club gave you the sack,
Now it’s time you gave the Derby job a crack.
An ode to Gary Megson
by MegamanX
Never trusted you, you ginge,
You turned my team into a minge.
For one and all to come and shaft us,
I’d have liked to hang you from the rafters.
Now we’ve dumped you things are great,
We’ve had results to celebrate.
But you’ve not turned up in a job.
Does the whole world think that you’re a knob?
If you’d like to see your work published on this page then visit
the creative writing forum at www.leftlion.co.uk/forum and
post your work up there for all to see. Each issue we select the
best of the submissions to be published in the magazine.
37
Aries (March 21 - April 20)
Libra (September 24 - October 23)
Spray a bit of perfume on a light bulb and scent the room every time the light is turned
on. Spray a bit too much perfume on a light bulb, accidentally set your pad on fire and get
put in prison for arson. It’s true that a woman’s work is never done, but this is especially
relevant if she is wearing pointy arrows on her clothing.
It’s been a weird changing time recently, but you seem to have made decisions with your
heart and that’s all you can ask for in this life. Things that seem personal to you at the
moment might fade in the coming months, but you are probably already expecting that.
You and a friend will always have Jim Beam though. Que será, será.
Taurus (April 21 - May 21)
Scorpio (October 24 - November 22)
Santa Claws is coming to town and he’s been telling everyone about how he’s going to cut
you up. Whatever it was that you got up to with the elves down in Lapland last summer
has got him really pissed off! If you catch him coming down your chimney this year flee
your neighbourhood and never return.
You sleep like a kitten with a pleasing purr. Indeed, ever since you kissed the toad you
can consider yourself a fully-fledged princess. The new year will feature your best work
yet and provide a good time to complete your opus. Someone with the same initials as the
duke from the westerns really digs you!
Gemini (May 22 - June 22)
Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22)
‘Laws of man, are just pretend. They ain’t mine. Love so good, love so bad. It won’t die. Some
talk too long, they know it all. I just smile and move on. Words ain’t free, like you and me. I
don’t mind. Why’d you have to be so mean and cruel? The dogs are loose, I’m on to you.’
In this season of goodwill make sure you don’t forget the real meaning of Christmas.
Amongst a sea of goodwill, families getting together, time with your friends and sci-fi style
religious beliefs, there is an overwhelming sense of commercialism. Even Santa changed
the way he dressed to keep his soft drinks endorsements.
Cancer (June 23 - July 23)
Critics say most conspiracy theories are false and lack enough verifiable evidence to be
taken seriously. They raise the question of what mechanisms might exist in popular culture
that lead to their invention and subsequent uptake. But all the ones you’ve been told
recently are true! The Pussycat Dolls said so…
Leo (July 24 - August 23)
Okay, so I did something stupid the other week. It just wasn’t kosher to be seen jumping
up and down with that inflatable doll in front of your entire family and I regret it. Especially
as it was dressed entirely in your clothes. Just remember, however that I never apologise.
I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am. I hope you don’t feel like I’ve let you down.
Virgo (August 24 - September 23)
Anāpānasati (Pali), meaning mindfulness of breathing, is a basic form of meditation
taught by the Buddha. According to this teaching as presented in the Anāpānasati Sutta,
practicing this form of meditation as a part of the Noble Eightfold Path leads to the
removal of all defilements and finally to the attainment of nibbāna (nirvana). That’s where
Kurt went wrong.
Capricorn (December 23 - January 19)
Some people talk about you behind your back. They say that the lights are on, but
there’s nobody home. If this is true then have you completely forgotten about the Kyoto
agreement? Does the hard work of governments forming global legislation mean nothing
to you? Then again maybe I judge too quickly. It could all just be hot air.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 19)
As Mr Aesop once told us you can’t mess with nature. A scorpion asks a frog to carry
him across a river. The frog is afraid to be stung, but the scorpion reassures him that
they would both die if that happened. The frog then agrees, but in mid-river he gets
stung nevertheless and both die. What does this teach us? Never trust an Arachnid with
pincers...
Pisces (February 20 - March 20)
Look at you. You used to be so cocky. You claimed you were going to go out and conquer
the world. You once called me a warped, frustrated, old man! Who are you but a warped,
frustrated young man, crawling in here on your hands and knees begging for help? No
securities, no stocks, no bonds. Nothin’ but a miserable little $500 equity in a life insurance
policy. You’re worth more dead than alive!
local
pantom
head-to ime
-head
ALADDIN
Occupation: Trickster
Nemeses: Evil sorcerer
et
Transpor t: Magic carp
Has-beens in cast: 0
t: 160
“It’s behind you” coun
38
CINDERELLA
Occupation: Scrubber
Nemeses: Ugly sisters
Transpor t: Pumpkin
Has-beens in cast: 3
“It’s behind you” coun
t: 135
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