How to Use Speaking of Faith Discussion Guides

Transcription

How to Use Speaking
of Faith Discussion Guides
Facilitator Notes
Raising a new human being is a monumental spiritual task. Our offspring often become little theologians and
philosophers, asking huge questions about life and the universe. They may ask us how we got here, where
God lives, why people die, why people hurt each other and what it means to be good and to be happy.
Questions such as these are the building blocks of religion and ethics. We refine them all of our lives, but they
essentially remain the same.
As parents, we want to support this part of our children’s natures. With more mundane aspects of parenting—
how to help them sleep, or feed them, or teach them to read—we know that we need help. But when it comes
to personal, existential questions of meaning, we may feel that we should intuitively have the answers. The
spiritual aspect of parenting is often a source of anxiety, provoking feelings of inadequacy.
This anxiety is heightened by the fact that many of us are less connected to specific religious traditions and
institutions than previous generations. And we may inherit a mix of spiritual practices in our own histories,
marriages, and extended families. Even those deeply rooted in a particular tradition stress that they need
guidance on how to teach and model issues of religion, meaning and ethics.
The struggles are at once universal and utterly distinct, like human nature itself. How to give children a sense
of the sacred? How to pass on what has been meaningful to us and spare them from what has injured us?
How to affirm the spirituality we recognize in them if we are skeptical of organized religion? How to give
children consistent messages when there are differing views between mother and father, or between parents
and grandparents? How to nurture the spirituality of a beloved autistic child? How to teach our children
anything about God when we often feel less than certain ourselves?
Children are not afraid of mystery, but they do need us to help them develop vocabularies and ways to keep
those questions alive and growing. They need to hear our questions and stories, and what experience has
taught us. They also crave ritual and routine, which can be formed from daily, commonplace experiences.
Children may ultimately teach us far more than we teach them.
I welcome you to this exploration of parenting, to discuss the many facets of developing the spirituality of our
beloved children.
—Krista Tippett, host, Speaking of Faith®
About Speaking of Faith
Speaking of Faith is public radio’s conversation about religion, meaning, ethics and ideas. It is produced and
distributed by American Public Media. Each week, Krista Tippett and her guests explore every aspect of
life — from scientific discovery to global politics to how we raise our children — in thoughtful, lively dialogue.
Speaking of Faith learning materials are developed with major funding from Lilly Endowment, Inc.
Copyright © 2009 American Public Media. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission. Not for resale.
Permission is granted to facilitator to make up to 15 copies for use in a discussion group.
The Spirituality of Parenting
Discussion Questions
… all children by the time they are age
five have a concept of God, whether
or not we’ve talked about God to them
as parents.
1.
Rabbi Sandy Sasso
A negative experience with an inherited religious tradition can
become a barrier to passing on the positive aspects of the
religious experience to children for fear of exposing them to harm.
Even those with a positive view of their religious tradition may
struggle with the idea of forcing their children to believe as
they do.
»» What was your childhood experience of receiving (or not
receiving) faith from your parents? Did anything about it
feel “forced”?
»» Why have so many adults rejected their parents’ version
of faith?
»» How do you or would you impart faith to a child in a way that
is nurturing and constructive?
As parents, our responsibility is to provide
children with a language, an opportunity
to have a conversation about these
matters that they care very deeply about.
Rabbi Sandy Sasso
2.
Young children can at times seem like nothing so much as
miniature theologians with their big, deep questions such as
“Where does God live?”, “What will happen when you die?”,
“Why isn’t life fair?” and “How can God be everywhere?”.
»» What sorts of answers to these questions might be
appropriate responses to a young child? An adolescent?
»» What issues might be involved in how these questions are
answered? For example, might a child be frightened by the
answer or interpret it too literally?
Sandy Eisenberg Sasso is rabbi of
Congregation Beth-El Zedeck in
Indianapolis and author of many
children’s books.
Visit speakingoffaith.org
For more information about Speaking of Faith and the topic of this discussion guide, or to sign up for a weekly
e-mail newsletter or free weekly podcasts, visit speakingoffaith.org.
It’s perfectly acceptable to say, “This is
a really hard question,” and “let’s think
about it together.” Just talking is what’s
essential.
3.
Rabbi Sandy Sasso
It often seems that children have an innate spirituality and a
profound sense of wonder, not to mention imagination and
creativity. A parent’s job is to provide language for this spirituality
and to encourage conversation so the soul’s “muscles” don’t
atrophy as a child develops.
»» Would you agree that the sense of wonder and imagination,
so natural in children, might be something adults lose, then
long for? Why or why not?
»» What factors might cause us to repress our spiritual
tendencies as we become adults?
»» Using the imagery of a soul’s “muscles,” how would you
describe yourself? Generally speaking, are you spiritually
strong or out of shape?
4.
Story, ritual and experience provide the language children need to
make sense of their world and feel the presence of God. Children
often respond positively to religious education delivered through
story and ritual rather than disconnected rules and dogma.
»» In your experience, what stories and rituals did adults
use with you to create your sense of transcendence and
connection to a higher power?
»» Do you agree that it dulls religious imagination to separate
a religious law or dogma from its surrounding story? Why or
why not?
I think it’s important, if we’re going to
nurture the spiritual lives of our children,
that we have to nurture our own
spiritual lives.
5.
Parents often worry that they are expected to be experts when
answering a child’s spiritual questions. One view is that having
a definitive answer is less important than simply having the
conversation and letting the child know what you’re thinking.
Rabbi Sandy Sasso
»» Do you agree that having the conversation with your child is
as important as having definitive answers? Why or why not?
»» What memories of important conversations do you have from
your childhood? Did you feel you were you taken seriously by
adults?
»» What might be the impact of avoiding or rebuffing a child’s
big, difficult questions?
6.
Childhood is a laboratory for great virtues such as mercy,
compassion and empathy. Children often seem to innately
possess these virtues, which may be strengthened or diminished
through their experiences.
»» Have you ever been on the receiving end of empathy from a
child? Describe the experience.
»» Can a child’s generous, sensitive impulses be snuffed out
by negative responses from adults? Can you recall any
experiences of this from your own childhood?
7.
Setting aside quiet time to sit and reflect with children plays a
critical role for some parents in cultivating spirituality.
»» Do you agree that such times of reflection are important?
Why or why not?
»» Would you like your own or your children’s lives to have more
space for prayer or spiritual reflection? How could you make
this happen?
Don’t let the people who gave you a bad
impression of your religious tradition be
the only ones to define it.
8.
Rabbi Sandy Sasso
Daily activities, such as reading, sharing a meal or going to work
can be considered spiritual exercises. Reading requires quiet
and empathy, and also makes us realize we cannot always be in
control. These lessons are part of the spiritual life.
»» Do you agree that such simple things can nurture spiritual
development?
»» What are other experiences of daily life that connect to your
spiritual life or that of your child?
»» Do you agree with the idea that religion should engage our
minds as well as our hearts? Why or why not?
9.
One way to think of the vocabulary of the tradition or practice with
which we grew up with is as our “mother tongue.” Some people
avoid the tradition in which they grew up because of negative
experiences despite the foundational role it may have played in
their spiritual development.
»» How would you describe your first religious/spiritual home? If
you feel you did not have one, how has that affected you?
»» Do feel your childhood memories sometimes exert undue
influence over your view of religious and spiritual questions?
Why or why not?
»» Share a positive experience of your religious tradition
involving yourself or your child. If you have no specific
religious tradition, share a positive experience you feel led to
your early spiritual development.
»» Should we protect our children from our own negative
religious experiences? What situations might justify such
protection?
Resources
For additional resources about this topic, review Program Details at http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/
programs/spiritualityofparenting/index.shtml
How do I nurture this aspect of my child’s
being that I may not understand myself?
Krista Tippett
10.One option for those looking for a way to instill a sense of the
sacred in their children within a tradition is to explore their roots,
become part of a community in which people talk about spiritual
issues and identify spiritual mentors.
»» Where would you look for a community to assist you with
the spiritual aspect of parenting? What characteristics would
be important to you in such a community? What resources
outside religious organizations may exist in your own
community?
»» Who can you identify as a spiritual mentor? What qualities
does this person have?
»» How might this journey enrich your life as well as that of your
child?
Resources
For additional resources about this topic, review Program Details at http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/
programs/spiritualityofparenting/index.shtml
Notes

How to Use Speaking of Faith Discussion Guides

Transcription

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