here - Sister Hellen Wheels

Sister Hellen
Wheels 2014
Positions
Official Positions Held
● Mistress of Protocol / Bylaws Chair 1991-2002 - 11 terms
● Mistress of Assistance (Aide de Camp) 1994 - 1 term
● Mistress of Minutes / Secretary 1995 - 1 term
● Mistress of Archives 1994 - .5 term
● Board Member 1995 and 2114 - 2 terms
● Mistress of the Web 1996-7 - 2 terms
● Mistress of Novices/VP 1997-1999 & 2011 - 4 terms
● Mistress of Missions 2005-6 - 2 terms
● Prime Minister & Founder of PIMP 2013-14 - 1 term
● Prioress /1st VP 2014 - 1 term
● Ad Hoc Rules Committee Chair 2014
"Hellen Ragnarok" by Sr. Reyna Terror
Unofficial Positions
● Acting President; 4 months in 1999 while President Phyllis Stein was recuperating.
● SPI SF Historian; late 90's early 2000's
Skills
Creative Writing; It's probable that I've penned more documents than any other Sister in any Order anywhere!
Those include the first government recognized bylaws, the first working Policy Manual, the PIMP Rules and
curriculum documents and dozens of Missionary documents as the Mistress of Missions.
Calling Names; Hellen has by far published the largest list of unique Sister names. More Sister's can directly or
indirectly attribute their name to Hellen than any other individual Nun. The current list is well over 1000 names
long and has been on the web since at least 1996.
Wimple design; If you look through my galleries, you'll see Hellen in many different wimples. And those are only
the ones that I got photographs of! Last count I have designed 13 different wimples and coronets many of which
have since been duplicated by other Houses as their official design. (side note; I haven't worn any SPI SF sanctioned
wimple since 1998)
Lash lifting; I wear some of the biggest lashes to be found anywhere.
Cheating; I unflinchingly take credit for Father Butch and Abbott Adamn Heathen's work too!)
Sister Hellen
Sponsorships
Daughters/Son
Wheels 2014
Rearing New Members
Gladass of the Joyous Reserectum (founder of the LA Sisters)
GiGi Fa'Q The French Whore
Guard Tighty Whitey, Spawn of Hellen Wheels aka Sister Tuna Noodle Cocktail
Goddaughters
Selma Soul
Sharin' Dipity
Sybil LiberTease
Little Sisters
Krystal Might of the Towering Virtues
Barbra Ganesh
Agnes Dei'Afta Tamarra
Unofficial Godmother to Sister Penny Costal
Evil Gawd Daughters
(loving unofficial sponsor to)
MaryMay Himm
Mary Ralph Lauren, the Proper Nun
Daughters Gladass & GiGi, Hellen, Goddaughters Selma, Sharin & Sybil
at the 666 Conclave, LA (they're in chronological order too!)
Mistress of Novices
The following members where under the tutelage of Hellen Wheels as Novice Mistress
1. Sr. MaryMay Himm of the Havoc Habit
2. Sr. Gina Tonic The Sparkling
3. Post. Cum Mora (Lurch)
4. Sr. Hedra Sexual, the Nun Too Straight
5. Sr. Bea Attitude
6. Sr. O'Letta B. Demonic
7. Sr. Betty Does
8. Sr. Roxanne Rolls
9. Sr. Lolita me Into Temptation / Mary Tim
10. Sr. Merry Peter
11. Guard Wood Blowhard / Sr. Fanny
12. Post. Guard Red Hot Poker
13. Sr. Dionna Cross
14. Post. Evan Braun Noser
15. Nov. Irma Grassion (NatA)
16. Guard TheO Pressed
17. Sr. Mina J'trois
18. Sr. Nancy Drew Blood
19. Sr. Dharma Gedden
20. Sr. Anna Wanda Mei
21. Sr. Atta Van Haldol
22. Post. Polly Ester
23. Sr. OyVey Maria
24. Sr. T'Ain't A Virgin
25. Sr. Connie Pinko
26. Sr. Marian A Mann
27. Sr. Honey, BE!
28. Sr. Peghan Ritual
29. Sr. Betty Tasteswell
30. Sr. Qetesh the Divine
31. Sr. Agnes Dei'Afta Tamarra
32. Sr. Hera Tique / Eden Asp
Sister Hellen
Wheels 2014
Exequaturs: as Mistress of Novices or Mistress of Missions
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Presented Abbey of Saint Joan, Seattle SPI as Mistress of Novices
Presented The Asylum of the Tortured Heart, San Diego SPI as Mistress of Missions
Presented The Order of Benevolent Bliss, Portland SPI as Mistress of Missions
Presented The Sin Sity Sisters, Las Vegas SPI as Mistress of Missions
(mentored as MoM and involved with, but didn't preside over Order of The Big Red Wood, Eureka SPI)
(mentored as MoM, but didn't attend The Dessert Sisters, Palm Springs SPI)
Aliases
In Chronological Order:
1. Father Butch 1988-2001 (Brother Butch 1989)
2. Mother Superior Herculaneum 1989
3. Sister Hellen Wheels, Acting Superior Mother of the Daughters of the Divine Eruption 1990-current
4. Abbott Adamn Heathen 2001-current
5. Sister Hellen Warfare 2012-current
Hellen & Son Tighty Whitey
●
●
●
●
●
●
●
●
●
●
SPI Firsts/Accomplishments
Abbott Adamn Heathen center
Novice Olive and Father Butch right
First full time male persona; Father Butch 1988-1999
First Sister to present a written resume for elevation to FPM (yes you can blame these on me!)
First Sister to be granted his own Order by Imperial decree; The Convent and Brothel of Mt. Saint Helens
aka The Daughters of the Divine Eruption.
First SPI Sister to own a domain in her SPI name; Hellen.org.
First person to serve as a Sister on the SF LGBT Pride Board.
As the First Mistress of Protocol, the bylaws that were approved by the State of California where penned
under my tenure.
First representative to the California Association of Pride, CAPI (as a Novice.)
One of 4 Sisters to officially be married (in habit) under Domestic Partner law by Mayor Art Agnos on
Valentine's Day 1992. I married Novice Sister GladAss of the Joyous Reserectum. Novice Father Hazel
Married Novice Jackie O'Nasty as well.
Convinced the Order that Archive Time should be a requirement for elevation.
First to suggest we publicly celebrate our anniversary publically for the 15th Anniversary.
Sister Hellen
●
●
●
●
●
●
●
Wheels 2014
Novice Mistress to the 1st official Guards in the SF Order; Guard Woody Blowhard and Guard Red.
Only member to date to be to be elected to 5 non-consecutive terms as VP.
Established that all USA/Canada SPI Houses must be democratic and non-profit
Created and named of the United Nuns Privy council; UNPC.
Founded and named of The Perpetual Indulgence Ministry Program; PIMP.
First Prioress & 1st VP to make it through the majority of a term.
First Sister to submit an "exit" resume
Some "Trademark" Terms created
● The VICE-President
● Everynun, somenun
● Green Veil
● /(|-_-|)\ my personal emoji
Novice Mistress Hellen veils
Sister Oy Vey Maria, Easter 2012
Other accomplishments
● Arguably the largest Sister jewelry collection this side of the Pecos. (Most of mine is real Blanche!)
● Championed ensuring the GM got the lion's share of the rights in the Order in the early 90's
● Championed the idea that all US Houses must be founded with the 3 Golden principles; a minimum of 4
founding members, 501.c3 with no paid staff and democratically operated.
● Created the structure for our internal documents on Google Drive
● As Mistress of Protocol, successfully argued that the length of time as an initiate should be a minimum of
12 months rather than 8-9 months
● In 1993, rendered the "high" resolution SPI text logo in DOS Paint that is still in use including creating the
"Inc." from scratch. (40+ hours of individual pixel editing!)
● Coordinated 3 retreats
● Consolidated the vows as they are currently read since MoN 2011 (based on 1999 vows + a few additions.)
● Assistant to Jean Baptiste Carhaix (Andre) for 13 photo shoots
● I've worked around 50 gate shifts for the Sisters over the last 26 years
● Compiled the only comprehensive spreadsheet of more than 200 San Francisco members
● Put together a "Panel of Mistresses" the to discuss the Mistress of Novices Sistory and sponsors
● I long ago lost count of the number of events I've manifested for, but it's definitely a few hundred
Last showing of the complete Quilt, DC 1996
Andre's photo shoot 1993
Dore Alley Fair 1994