Essex Hash House Harriers



Essex Hash House Harriers
Hash House Harriers
Issue 7 from The Mistress: Oct — Dec 2013 Find us at
AGPU 7th Sept 2013
A superb night was enjoyed by 22+ hashers at the Rising Sun in
Billericay on a warm Saturday night.
As usual the evening began in the car park with some hashers
shunting in and out then finally double parking! Other hashers occupied themselves with peeping into cars one which held a harriet
changing!! Then followed a short pleasant r*n around the delight
of Billericay.
A warm friendly atmosphere greeted us in the hall laid out ready
for our meal. Vicky Vomit had organised a photo competition from
various r*ns which began the fun.
An excellent chicken curry (with an alternative) followed which got
us ready for the job in hand!
Our dream team chaired the AGPU meeting and as they had done
such a good job they were duly re-elected. Complete committee
Awards, Down Down’s and a couple of quizzes rounded of a
smashing evening. On On
Fun and games at the AGPU
Finally got to see my granddaughter Juliet, born while
we where at Clacton-on-sea weekend. Although not in
the picture, she did receive the pink rucksack with cuddly toy, mug and travel clock. thank you!
Stiff Meat
A future hasher maybe!!
Hashy Congratulations to Tops and Windsock on their
recent marriage. A very stunning red, white and blue
affair enjoyed by their family and friends in Westcliff.
Many Hashy On On’s
Well, here is hearing from me!!
Can u make sure my trail is listed correctly for Sunday 10th November at 11.00am Strawberry Field Pub, A127 Southend (near Tesco)
C U Next Tuesday
EH3 Away weekend in Norfolk 28/29 Sept 2013
A beautiful sunny Saturday gave promise to a good weekend as myself, the Master
and Puball travelled to north Norfolk to meet our fellow Essex hashers for a weekend
beer festival and hashing with the Norfolk crowd.
Woolly Jumper must have ordered the sun as it stayed with us all weekend. As this
was our first hashing weekend out of Essex we were really looking forward to it.
A warm welcome awaited us when we arrived at the lovely Grange Hotel and camp
site. After finding our pitch and setting up camp we joined the group in the hotel garden, bathed in sunshine, to chat and catch up with everyone. The tap room was open
with an enormous choice of beers and cider so the alcohol and conversation was
Unfortunately the promised hog roast became a pork or burger bap from the kitchen
served outside in the dark with lots of hold-ups, but apart from that Woolly Jumper
had certainly organised an excellent venue.
Sunday morning found the hashers enjoying a choice of a breakfast bap up to a
mighty full English depending on appetite. All very good I hear!
Both the pack and KC started of together on a smashing course around the local area
of California Bay and Scratby. The KC took a shorter route across the heath land
whilst the pack took in the beach!! Lunchbox and Puball decided to have a swim.
Down Downs followed for the swimmers, Twonk for wearing pink lycra and myself for
falling out of our motorhome door! Don’t ask. An excellent weekend. Mistress
Hash Name
Joint Grand
Steve "Heap 'o' Crap" Monk
01268 526239
Sylvia "'avent Got One" Monk
01268 526239
“The Siblings”
01268 759210
A Dream Team
Phillip “Pulled Out” Esdaile
Wendy “Tinkerbell” Holdich
Hash Cash
Trevor “BCSP” Read
01268 710768
Linda ”The Mistress” Bates
01268 768082
Julie “Sooty” Hills
01268 410649
Jan ”Dr Doolittle” Buchanan
01621 841019
Hare Razors
John “Pied Piper” Spooner
Tony “Zipper” Clarke
Beer Mistress
Jacqui ”Blowdry” Houghton
01375 382968
Chris “Lunchbox” Hills
01268 410648
Hash Awards
Peter "The Master" Bates
01268 768082
Cultural Attaché's
Dave "Windsock" French
01702 511567
Hash Flash
Penny "Tops" French
Song Master
Joint Masters
Paul “Omo” Holdich
Casey Jones
Captain Nibbles
Sucked In, BCST
Corpse Shagger, Tenna Lady
Stiff 5Meat, Action Man
Vicky Vomit, IE
01702 511567
The only way most hashers can get a six-pack
'Viagra' is now available in tea
It doesn't enhance your sexual
performance but it does stop your
biscuit going soft.
The Importance of Accuracy in your Tax Return
The HMRC has returned the Tax Return to a man in Evesham after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly. In response to the question, Do you have anyone dependant on you? The man wrote: "2.1
million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crackheads, 4.4 million unemployable Jeremy Kyle scroungers, 900,000
criminals in over 85 prisons plus 600+ idiots in Parliament and the entire European Commission".
The HMRC stated that the response he gave was unacceptable..
The man's response back to HMRC was "Who did I miss out?".
To The Master for 20th October
Please join us on his Hashy birthday run on Monday 21st
October at The Railway Tavern, Chelmsford @ 7.00pm
(see run list)
chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a
to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent
one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine
and he
also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.