March - NAJC
Transcription
March - NAJC
N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N NAJC "The Eternal One is the Healer of the broken hearted and the One who binds their sorrow." (Psalms 147:3) O F J E W I S H arvq lvq bl yrvbsl apvrh otvbeil sbxmv A Quarterly Newsletter of Neshama: Association Of Jewish Chaplains Rabbi Moe Kaprow, Rabbi Yaacov Rone Certification President Rabbi Sandra Katz, Rabbi Cheryl Weiner President-elect Conference Rabbi Michael Schorin, Rabbi Naomi Kalish, Immediate Past-President Vice President Rabbi Bryan Kinzbrunner, Rabbi Mark Goldfarb, Treasurer Newsletter Editor Rabbi Joe Ozarowski, Cecille Allman Asekoff, Secretary C H A P L A I N S Executive Vice-President Vol. 28 No. 2 ~ Adar II 5776/March 2016 On The Inside: Membership Committee!....2 An NAJC Custom!..............3 Certification News!.............3 Parshat Vayikra: A Guide for Chaplains !...............4 The Privilege Of Being A Chaplain!.......................5 An Appreciation of Tears!...6 Angels Spreading Their Wings!...........................7 Once A Chaplain!................8 What Is NAJC !...................9 Conference 2016 Highlights!...................10 Movie CHAPLAINS!.........12 A Chaplain’s Sacrilegious Remarks!....................13 Benefits of Membership!..18 With Our Members!.........19 New !חברים.………………!.19 Upcoming Events!...........20 Board Members!..............20 NAJC 901 Route 10 Whippany, NJ 07981 (973) 929-3168 [email protected] K’lal NAJC: The Unity We Represent Message From The President Rabbi Maurice S. Kaprow, M.A., B.C.C. Thank you all for honoring me with the privilege of being your President for the next two years. There are many exciting things happening in NAJC – your organization. First, we had a wonderful conference in Baltimore, according to some it was the finest ever. Our speakers were world-class and the feedback we got was outstanding. We thank Bryan Kinzbrunner and his committee for all the work that went into making the conference the success that it was. We are certain that Cheryl Weiner will produce an equally exciting conference next year in Cincinnati. Second, I put out a call for volunteers and was pleased to have a good response from our membership. It is never too late to join with us in our holy work. If you care to give of your time, please let me know at [email protected] or call the office. We are always looking for people to help us in all we do. Third, the Personnel Committee is well on its way to recommending a final candidate to replace Cecille Asekoff when she retires in June. The long list of applicants has been narrowed and the finalists will be interviewed in person by the end of this month. We hope to introduce you to our new Executive Director immediately after פסח. Continued on page 2 NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 1 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S K’lal NAJC, continued Finally, we are exploring more joint opportunities with our cognate groups and are looking at more ways to cooperate together. A task force has been put in place to work towards this end. We will keep you informed as discussions progress. Let me end with an observation. We talk about כלל ישראל, the unity of the Jewish people. The key word is unity. When we are together we have strength and will endure. Should we, heaven forbid, splinter, we will lose all our hard-fought accomplishments. Let us hope and pray that we, as an organization, continue to work across all lines for the betterment of all. Then we will see the promises of heaven fulfilled as we bring shalom to our sacred work and comfort to those we serve. B’yididut, Rabbi Maurice S. Kaprow [email protected] NAJC Membership News Rabbi Solomon Agin, D.D., B.C.C. Dear Colleagues: I wish to inform you that as of this writing, NAJC has 586 members. We are short only 14 members to reach the 600 mark. This is the point where your help is needed. The goal of the membership committee is to go beyond the 600 number and you can help. All of you know chaplains in the field who are not affiliated. I have heard the words that, "we are not welcoming", or that "we are rigid." Please know that we are open to welcome anyone who seeks to add to our numbers. It is our policy to work with all applicants to resolve any challenges in applying for membership. Cecille and myself have a shared philosophy and that is growing NAJC. Kindly help us succeed in our mission! L’Shalom, Rabbi Solomon Agin [email protected] For Current, Up To Date Information About NAJC, Events, And Resources For Chaplains Check out the NAJC web page: www.najc.org 2 NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S Naming And Claiming An NAJC Custom Rabbi Sandra Katz, BCC Recently, I gave a d'var Torah that made me think about something we take for granted sometimes in NAJC. I was looking at one of the many passages in the Torah about Shabbat, and I remarked that we have an unstated custom that I wanted to articulate. We observe Shabbat as a group - that is to say, we refrain from NAJC work on Shabbat. I think this is amazing and a blessing. We cross the spectrum of Jewish observance, and yet have the mutual respect to give each other space on Shabbat. My personal theology lapses way into the land of heresy, and yet I am happy to create a Shabbat silence on electronic media. I believe that this is something I can do to show my gratitude to the more traditional colleagues who have given me such generous acceptance. How easy it would be for others to dismiss me - a woman! It happens all the time outside of NAJC. Inside our group, we honor our relationships with each other, which gives our organization strength and roots. Do I think about NAJC on Shabbat? Oh, yes. And I wear my NAJC pin. And I sometimes talk about chaplaincy. But I can exercise a little self-restraint when I have a thought about doing NAJC work on Shabbat. As we all know, it can wait. Rabbi Sandra Katz [email protected] Certification News! Rabbi Yaacov Rone, B.C.C. Dear Colleagues: The certification handbook and application can be found either on our website (www.najc.org) or obtained from the office ([email protected]). In keeping with the standard that is being used by most organizations, peer review standards will now be every five years, effective as of January, 2016. Certification Sessions: May 17, 2016 Fall 2016 (if interested in sitting for certification, contact office.) January 2017 (during the conference) Rabbi Yaacov Rone [email protected] NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 3 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S The Simple Yet Powerful Message of פרשת ויקרא: A Guide for Chaplains Rabbi Ben Lanckton, BCC One day in the life of this Jew: a man asks me to pray that he not be sick; a girl tells me that she prays that her mom get well. How can this work? How can we feel close to G-d? We are here, G-d is there; we are small, G-d is huge; we are near, G-d is far. What can we do to feel close to G-d in our own lives? Is there a way that we can feel G-d next to us, though we know that G-d rules all of space and time, and thus must be, in some way, in all of space at the same time? One simplifying strategy: to formulate the existential challenge of G-d’s transcendence in words of one syllable, as I have done in each sentence of the first paragraph. If G-d is truly G-d, then G-d is always at all times everywhere, and yet somehow beyond our comprehension and contact. If we could access G-d easily, G-d’s awesome power would be reduced. If we can’t access G-d at all, then we have a lonely existence without any experience of the Divine. So how do we find a way to feel G-d’s power and connect with G-d’s awesome nature? The verses of this week’s famous Torah portion, ויקרא, provide the prototype of the Jewish answer to this problem. Moshe receives detailed commands about voluntary and required offerings – – קרבנות that the children of Israel are to offer. A קרבן, an offering or sacrifice, derives from the root in Hebrew ק־ר־ב, meaning close or near. So the sacrificial system is designed to bring the ones who offer קרבנות closer to G-d. A person who feels full of gratitude to G-d might bring an עלה, an offering that is totally consumed by fire. People who have committed errors of varying magnitude might offer either an אשם, for a deliberate error, or a חטת, for an unintentional mistake. In all three of these cases, the one bringing the offering is trying to bridge the gap that has appeared between themselves and G-d. The one who offers out of gratitude seeks to reciprocate the kindness and grace that has been shown by G-d. The one who offers out of guilt seeks to repair the breach that their behavior has created, and to return to a sincere effort to imitate G-d in their thoughts and actions. Since the destruction of the Second Temple nearly 2000 years ago, there have not been animal sacrifices in Jewish worship. Prayer, both spontaneous and at fixed times, has replaced the sacrificial system. The system of prayer at fixed times is well known to many Jews. What is less popular is the availability of spontaneous prayer, the fact that Jews can pray to G-d whenever and however they want. As a chaplain in a hospital, I pray spontaneously with patients. Our prayers often are as simple as an invitation, to have G-d’s healing presence enter the room and the experience of the patient. We pray in Hebrew and in English, through silence and through song. While we no longer have the drama of animal sacrifices to invoke G-d’s awesome power, we have the power of the words of our tradition and the words in our own hearts to stir the Divine Presence in our midst. We use words that are over a thousand years old, and we offer words for our feelings new in the moment. As we move through this Shabbat of פרשת ויקרא, may we grow ever more mindful of opportunities to invoke the sacred into the mundane and the holy into the profane of our daily lives. Rabbi Ben Lanckton [email protected] 4 NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S It Could Only Happen Here: The Privilege Of Being A Chaplain Rabbi Jim Michaels, D.Min., BCC There are many rewards to serving as a chaplain. Some are material while others are spiritual. The latter may take the form of satisfaction from a job well done; in other words, ספוק נפש. Or we may receive special warmth when we are at the right place at the right time. From time to time, I experience another form of spiritual reward; I put it into the category of “It could only happen here.” Let me share one such experience. It occurred two years ago, just before Rosh Hashanah. Last spring I met a man, whom I’ll call Abe. He had moved into one of our independent living buildings and started attending services in our skilled nursing facility. He said he had moved to Rockville to be near his family; he had previously lived in New Jersey and had been an active member of a synagogue. He told me he liked to chant the Haftarah and asked if he could do so one Shabbat. I told him we’d love it. A few weeks later, he brought his worn book of הפטרותand took the מפטיר aliyah. He chanted beautifully. I told him he could read the Haftarah any time he wanted. I didn’t see Abe again until early September, when he was admitted to our sub-acute rehab facility. I went to see him and wish him a successful stay. Although I continued to visit him, I didn’t notice that his health was deteriorating. A week later, I learned Abe had been admitted to hospice, I was shocked since he still had good activities of daily living. He was aware of his situation and accepted it. The day before Rosh Hashanah was beautiful, warm, and sunny. I was walking through the front door when I saw Abe and his son sitting outside. I went over and sat down. We chatted for a few minutes, and then Abe told me he always chanted the Haftarah on the second day of Rosh Hashanah. He asked if he could do it this year. I said it would be an honor, especially since those duties are usually split between myself and our cantor. He was very happy that he could do it one last time. The next day, during the service, Abe’s son came in and told me his father was convinced it was the second day of Rosh Hashanah! He wanted to read his Haftarah now, and asked if it were possible. I thought about it for a couple of minutes, and then said it would be fine. Abe took his book of הפטרותand read the “wrong” portion. He was flawless, and obviously took great pleasure in reading it one last time. As I sat there, listening to Abe chant, I thought of all the imponderables that coalesced to create that moment. Where else could Abe request the מפטירon the day before Rosh Hashanah? In synagogues it would have been assigned weeks or months earlier. And where else could he mistake the first day for the second day of the holiday, and still be able to read his Haftarah? And yet we were able to accommodate him! I also thought about the theological importance of what was happening. Every year, we recite ונתנה תוקף, recalling the various events which can happen to us in the year ahead: “Who will live and who will die?” We wonder how that question will impact our friends and family. But Abe knew what would be inscribed in the Book of Life for him. And yet he stood there and read his Haftarah. What a privilege for us to experience it! Abe stayed in the service until he got tired, and his son took to his room. He wasn’t able to return to services the next day, or for the next week. He died just before Yom Kippur. On the day Abe died, I met his son coming out of the elevator. He had his father’s book of הפטרותin his hand. He handed it to Continued on page 7 NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 5 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S It Could Only Happen Here, continued me and said he wanted me to have it. I was humbled to accept it, to know that a part of Abe would now be in my possession. It sits proudly on my office book shelf. This is one of many stories which give me great spiritual satisfaction from my chaplaincy. If you have a similar story, I’d love to have you send it to me. Rabbi Jim Michaels [email protected] An Appreciation of Tears Jason Mann MD, Mph. In my work as a chaplain and as a physician my patients and their families have shed many tears. One of the gifts I have been given by my transition from a medical provider to a spiritual care provider is an appreciation that tears are a source of great meaning and truth. If you had asked me what tears express, before I had completed my Chaplaincy Residency, I would have said, “tears express pain, sadness, or joy.” If I was asked in the past to comment further on the meaning of tears, I would have said, ‘isn’t it interesting that tears can express emotions that are almost direct opposites of each other, sadness or joy! In my work as a chaplain, I have come to a new understanding of tears that was not available to me in the past. I have found that tears can express something that words very poorly express. The metaphor that speaks to me best, is that the tears shed during a spiritual care visit and and at other times, are like a rope that leads to a deep well of connection to self and to God. I like the idea of describing tears as a rope because a rope can has many strands. I see tears like a rope because the tears contain many strands of ideas and feelings that hold the rope together. In my work as a spiritual care provider, I have been given the great privilege of trying to understand the meaning of each strand of the rope that is part of the person’s tears. The tears are rich with content. This exploration of the meaning of tears has deepened my understanding of what it means to be human. These moments when tears are shed are times when a rope is dropped into a deep well of connection to self and to God. As the tears flow from the eyes down the cheeks, I am called to hold and journey with my patients and their families and to be present if needed for support during these moments of connection to their deep wells of truth Dr. Jason Mann [email protected] 6 NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S These Angels Are Spreading Their Wings at 90+ Rabbi Tsurah August Every other Thursday morning a group of 10 women in their 80’s and 90’s, gather for a Shabbat service at a senior residence. They are all living with some degree of memory loss, some are wheelchair bound, some use walkers, the others need assistance in walking. One is Jewish, the others Christian. All attend this Jewish service faithfully. At first they came because it was another activity to occupy their time. Now they come because they belong to this special group of women. What makes this group special? Well, of course, each one is special in her own right – just looking into their eyes tells you that. But as a group they have been courageously beginning to learn a new language – Hebrew – and to dance the prayers we sing. And they are beautiful! Our group has been meeting biweekly for several months. I began with inviting them to clap their hands to the rhythm of the sung prayers, then moved to simple arm movements and stepping in place and progressing into full movements of their arms and torsos in unison. When they sing and dance to “ ׁשָלֹום עֲלֵיכֶם מַלְאֲכֵי הַּׁשֵַרת מַלְאֲכֵי עֶלְיֹוןWelcome to you, Helping Angels, Messengers of The Highest One…”, they look like a choir of angels, their graceful movements creating a sacred dance. They have become a Sacred Dance Choir! Long before I became a rabbi and chaplain I taught teachers of students with mental and physical challenges how to use dance to enhance learning basic learning skills by stimulating the connection between cognitive thinking, language and movement centers of the brain. Oral traditions use this way of learning. (Think leyning, bowing, shukling .) Technology has allowed us to “see” how various parts of our brains react to the stimulation of movement and music and language. The work I am doing with these women, my Sacred Dancer Choir, is adding another dimension to their lives – the spiritual dimension. From my earliest memories of dancing, my dance has been one of expressing my “soul.” It was my first prayer and remains my primary means of praying and entering into a state of holiness. And what a joy it is for me to offer the work of a lifetime as a chaplain, rabbi, educator and dancer – to bring these treasures to these angels – and behold them spreading their wings, opening their minds and praying with body, mind and spirit as the whole and holy beings they are. Rabbi Tsurah August [email protected] Current Issues Of Crossroads The current issue of CROSSROADS, exploring research on religion, spirituality and health, is a publication of Duke University's Center for Spirituality, Theology & Health. The purpose is to provide updates on new research, news, current events, and funding opportunities related to spirituality and health. Click on the link below to take you to the newsletter. Crossroads, March 2016 or: http://www.spiritualityandhealth.duke.edu/images/pdfs/CSTH_Newsletter_Mar_2016.pdf NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 7 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S Once A Chaplain Always A Chaplain Rabbi Judith Edelstein, BCC When I resigned from Jewish Home Lifecare in 2008 in full anticipation of finding another position where I could use my chaplaincy and administrative skills, I was devastated not to find meaningful full-time employment. Over the next few years, feeling quite underutilized, I hobbled together parttime income producing and satisfying work. Although I used my counseling/chaplaincy skills in numerous situations, I did not have the deep gratification that I had experienced in a day’s work as a supervisory chaplain. You can imagine how pleased I was when I received an unexpected call from Bernice, whose husband Richard had been an acute care patient at the Jewish Home. Although 13 years had passed since our last contact, his funeral, I instantly recalled her and the circumstances of our relationship. At the time of Richard’s stay at JHL, I was taking my first CPE unit. Observing that Richard’s death was imminent, and what appeared to be an intimate, loving relationship between him and Bernice, over the course of several meetings I tried to prepare Bernice for his demise. I encouraged her to speak truthfully with her husband to maintain the integrity and soul-bond they shared, and to support him as he moved toward death. To my disappointment, she was not able to “lift the mask” and maintained the illusion of his pending recovery to herself and to him until the day he died. (As an aside, it wasn’t until recently that I was able to honor her position and to recognize how I was pushing my agenda on her.) I was delighted to learn that Bernice had remembered me all these years, and that now at 102, she wanted to talk to me. When I arrived, Bernice was sitting in a wheel chair with her daughter Sondra beside her. Bernice appeared to be very frail, but her charm and humor hadn’t skipped a beat since I’d last seen her. Sondra stroked her mother’s hand, and encouraged her to share with me what Bernice had shared with her for the first time the previous week. With some hesitation, Bernice began her story. Her parents had settled on a farm in the Berkshires when they immigrated to America around the turn of the 20th century. Bernice, the youngest of eight children, described herself as “a beautiful child.” She was allegedly so beautiful that beginning at the age of 10, until she was 14, her father would bring her into bed with him and her mother. He fondled Bernice and then turned over and had intercourse with her mother, with Bernice still beside him. He even bragged that he was just “playing” with Bernice and did not penetrate her. Sexually aroused, filled with self-loathing, guilt and fury towards her parents, Bernice ran away from home at the age of 14 and lived with her older sister, who knew nothing about Bernice’s relationship with their father. Bernice had kept this secret to herself for almost 90 years. At the culmination of the story she turned to me. “Rabbi, why did he do this to me? Why did I let him do this? Why didn’t my mother stop him? Do I have to forgive him?” were among Bernice’s many tormented questions. Over the next few weeks I met with Bernice, her daughter always present, to help her work through the trauma that occurred almost a century earlier. For a while we went in circles, and between visits her health went precipitously down and then miraculously up. We talked about the pathology of her parents, and what might have motivated both of them. Once I shared with her some insights that I had, based upon my own experiences, about accepting parents as human beings with flaws and strengths. This seemed to impress her. 8 NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S During the penultimate visit, I directed Bernice to write in large block print letters several times– “It was not my fault,” and to chant that when her thoughts turned towards blaming herself. Thinking about Alice Herz-Sommer, I advised Bernice that she did not necessarily have to forgive her father, but that she would feel better if she could release her anger. It was as if that anger were stubbornly keeping her alive. The last time I saw Bernice, she was on hospice care in her home. She greeted me warmly, if weakly, and amid her family members and caregivers, I sat by the bed, and we held hands. She smiled and repeated, “Thank you, Rabbi.” I recited the Sh’ma with her. She died the next day. At the funeral I talked about how much I learned from Bernice, and what an honor it had been for me to be given the privilege to walk with her towards her death. Rabbi Judith Edelstein [email protected] What Is NAJC? Neshama: Association of Jewish Chaplains was founded in 1990 at a conference in Atlantic City. Today there are some 300 professional members of the NAJC and an additional 300 members including lay people, congregational rabbis, students, military, and Israeli members. NAJC members serve in a variety of settings including geriatric venues, hospitals, hospices, Jewish community chaplaincy, prisons, mental health settings, and the military, as well as in pastoral care training and education. What is NAJC, ד״א Everyone knows that נְׁשָמָהmeans soul. However, it sometimes does not. In Amos 9:14, for example, we find: "and they shall build the waste cities," where the word waste is " "נְׁשַּמֹותor neshama in the singular. The commentaries explain that in this case the word נְׁשַּמֹותis connected to ׁשָמֵם, which means waste and desolate. The only way to distinguish between the two words, having similar consonants, is by the context and also by the spelling. Though the consonants are similar, there is a difference in the vowels: = נְׁשָמָהsoul has a komatz under the the shin, while =נְׁשַּמָהwaste has a patach under the shin. The horizontal shape of the patach is like someone lying flat on his back in distress and "wasting away." The komatz, though also having a similar horizontal line, has, in addition, a support beneath it. With pastoral support, the patient in distress is now able to breathe again with a spirit=soul of regained life!! Rabbi Yeheskel Lebovic [email protected] NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 9 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O J F E W I S H C H A P L A I N S Seen At NAJC Conference 2016! Valarie Stessen Sol Agin Bryan Kinzbrunner Naomi Kalish Shira Stern, Yaacov Rone Ken Doka & Bruce Feldstein Cheryl Weiner Moe Kaprow, Bruce Kinzbrunner & Naomi Kalish Cecille, Asekoff, Zahara Davidowitz, Eli Sharon 10 NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S Seen At NAJC Conference 2016! Michelle Stern Joe Ozarowski Ken Doka Charles Rabinowitz Bob Tabak Linda Yitzchak, Sabrina Sojourner, Jim Michaels, Tamar Jaffe, Sandra Rubinstein, Yaffa-Shira Sultan, David Balto Attendees engaged in the following the notes of the presentation.presentation. NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 Linda Yitzchak 11 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S Movie “Chaplains” Wins Wilbur Award CHAPLAINS, a 2-hour documentary film by Martin Doblmeier, profiles chaplains of different faiths - has won the prestigious Wilbur Award for 2016. Given each year by the Religious Communicators Council, the award honors the best in film, television, book and digital, and attracts entries from the top names in the industry. The documentary features the following chaplains: Rabbi Arthur Rosenberg, Retirement home Chaplain. Rabbi Arthur Rosenberg enjoyed an accomplished career as a film and television actor but now serves as chaplain for the Motion Picture and Television Fund– Hollywood’s senior care and retirement center. Father Paul Hurley, Military Chaplain. Father Paul Hurley is a US Army Colonel and Catholic priest who serves the troops as senior chaplain in Afghanistan. His story confronts the larger questions about God and war, faith and freedom and the price to be paid. Karuna Thompson, Prison Chaplain. Karuna Thompson is a Buddhist woman working in a men’s maximum-security prison in Oregon with over 2,000 inmates. She serves men who have been convicted of violent crimes and does so with little regard for her own safety, as she helps them discover a side of themselves they never knew. Melissa Brannan, Corporate Chaplain. Melissa Brannan is part of the 120-member chaplain team at Tyson Foods, a corporation that has made an unusual commitment in the care of its 120,000 employees based in the belief that Tyson is to be a “faith friendly” company. Barry Black, Senate Chaplain. Barry Black and Father Pat Conroy are the chaplains to the US Senate and the US House of Representatives, who continue a tradition that dates back to the Founding of the nation. What is the role of chaplain in government and is it a violation of separation of church and state? Khalil Refai, Police Chaplain. Khalil Refai is the newly appointed Muslim chaplain for the Hamtramck Police Department near Detroit, MI where the police chief understood the need for a bridge between his department and the rapidly growing Muslim community. Kathleen Ennis-Durstine, Hospital Chaplain. Kathleen Ennis-Durstine is senior chaplain at Children’s National Medical Center in Washington, DC. Her daily focus is the spiritual care of sick children and their families. Billy Mauldin, NASCAR Chaplain. Billy Mauldin is chaplain at NASCAR and travels the circuit as the spiritual pastor for the thousands who stage the races that have become one of America’s most popular and dangerous sports. 12 NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S The Zen of a Chaplain’s Sacrilegious Remarks Rabbi Karen B. Kaplan, BCC Being a chaplain is a great career for people who like to skip the small talk and get straight to what is on a person’s mind. I was meeting Kenneth for the first time last week, one of the newly admitted patients in the hospice residence. He was in bed, a thin white beard vainly trying to obscure his gaunt face. After I explained who I was, he said, “I’m pretty old. But my buddies did not get to be old. Why would God let my buddies in the Second World War die and then let me live so many years?” He could not dismiss this theological quandary easily, because, “Anyhow me and God are on the same page.” The unfairness of some people dying young while others like him do not troubled him greatly, because he kept turning this over and over in his mind. Then he talked about the senselessness of war, and pondered why God would let that go on. Finally, as I listened to his litany of complaints, I asked, “Do you think God should be fired?” I did not say that to be cute or contrary. I asked that unlikely question to jostle him into being more aware of the religious conflict that was haunting him, and to help him articulate his unresolved spiritual issues. For the moment, he came up with saying he felt God’s care despite the Supreme Commander’s inscrutable behavior. He could live with ambiguity, as we all must to some extent. Even curse words can have a curative effect. Some years ago, I recall helping a patient express his anger. I validated it by chiming in with some strong language about the Lord our God. This made him feel that I was not making excuses for God, and so he felt free to continue venting his spiritual pain. Resisting the temptation to put oneself squarely in God’s corner may be especially challenging to volunteers helping mourners, because like the members of the Jewish burial society that hosts this blog, such volunteers are drawn to it in the main for deeply spiritual reasons. They may see Judaism as a great comfort and a source of wisdom and as a resource they are primed to let mourners know about. That may be the best path for some mourners, but there will be those occasions when what the mourners themselves know about and want to impress upon the volunteer is what will lay the groundwork for a truly spiritual encounter. Rabbi Karen B. Kaplan [email protected] Reprinted with permission from http://www.jewishjournal.com/expiredandinspired/item/ the_zen_of_a_chaplains_sacrilegious_remarks NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 13 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S בִּימֵי אֲחַשְׁוֵרוֹשׁ,וַיְהִי Be Happy! It’s Adar! 14 NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S CHILD BLANKEE I STILL SLEEP WITH! • THIS LAND, MY FAMILY, MY LOVES • HEARING MY FRIEND'S SON SPEAK ENGLISH • SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETING MY ENTIRE COLLEGE CAREER • COMING HOME TO A HAPPY FAMILY LEAVING MY TEST KNOWING I PASSED • GOING TO WORK WITH A SMILE • GETTING BIRTHDAY PRESENTS FROM MY FRIENDS • HELPING MY FRIENDS OUT WITH PROBLEMS • HELPING PEOPLE HEAL FROM THEIR PAST PICKING DRIED GLUE OFF MY HANDS • HAVING A STABLE PLACE TO LIVE • SEEING MY BANK ACCOUNT GO UP GETTING ALL OF MY REQUIRED CREDITS • GETTING NEW CLOTHES FOR THE HOLIDAYS • KNOWING MY DAD'S THERE FOR ME • KNOWING THERE IS ONE IN CHARGE • WAKING UP KNOWING I AM HEALTHY • BEING IN ISRAEL FOR PURIM DAY • BEING A LIFELINE FOR MY SISTER • LIVING EVERY DAY TO THE FULLEST • SEEING STRENGTH COME FROM DIFFICULT TIMES • GIVING TO OTHERS BRINGS ME JOY • AUTHENTIC CONNECTIONS WITH OTHER HUMAN BEINGS • JEWISH CHILDREN DRESSED UP FOR PURIM • GOING THROUGH ALL THE SHALOCH MANOS • MAKING PURIM SEUDAH FOR THE GANG NACHAS FROM MY DEAR SWEET CHILDREN KNOWING THAT I'M DOING SOMETHING MEANINGFUL • OTHER PEOPLE SMILING AND HAVING FUN KNOWING THAT WE ARE ONE FAMILY • SHABBOS- REST, READ. SHARE. EAT, RELAX • FAMILY FRIENDS HARD WORK GOOD MEMORIES • SEEING AND EXPERIENCING GOODNESS IN PEOPLE • BEING TOGETHER WITH MY WIFE, SHPRINTZA • DANCING LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING • LAYING WITH MY THREE YEAR OLD • SEEING MY MOM HOLDING HER GRANDCHILDREN • FINDING MY PLACE IN G-D'S WORLD • HEARING MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER LAUGH • MY KIDS, NATURE, FLOWERS, SMILES, BEACHES • I LOVE MY WIFE CHANA BEYLIN! HEALTHY BLOOD REALLY MAKES ME HAPPY • WATCHING CHILDREN PLAYING, HAPPY AND LAUGHING MAKING LOTS OF PEOPLE SMILE BRIGHTLY • A MOMENT SPENT APPRECIATING MY BLESSINGS • ICE CREAM JUST BEFORE IT MELTS • BEING HUGGED BY SOMEONE I LOVE FINDING THAT THING I THOUGHT LOST A HOUSE FULL OF HAPPY GUESTS • MY KIDS MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION • SOLDIERS SAFELY HOME FROM WARS AWAY • THAT WELL DESERVED CUP OF COFFEE • HEARTFELT APOLOGIES THAT END A FIGHT • CREDIT GIVEN WHEN CREDIT IS DUE • A VICTORIOUS MOMENT FOR THE UNDERDOG • FINDING GOODNESS WHERE HARD TO FIND • A CLEAN HOUSE AND SLEEPING KIDS • SEEING G'D'S CHILDREN HELP EACH OTHER KNOWING THAT EVERYTHING IS FROM HASHEM! • LIFE AND THE PEOPLE IN IT! • WHEN I DO WHAT IS RIGHT BEING ABLE TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY • HEALTH, NACHAT, SHALOM, PARNASAH, BRACHA, HATZLACHA DOING GOOD THINGS FOR JEWISH COMMUNITY! • MUSIC, DANCING, MY FAMILY, THE SEA • SINGING, TORAH, AND MAKING CHILDREN HAPPY • LIVING IN ISRAEL AND STUDYING TORAH • MY FUTURE HUSBAND AND MY FAMILY • HOT COCOA ON A COLD DAY! • CLOSING MY EYES AND BREATHING DEEPLY • WATCHING CHILDREN PLAY SMILE AND LAUGH • CLEANING MY ROOM WHEN IT'S MESSY • GETTING PHONE CALLS FROM OLD FRIENDS • GETTING DRESSED IN A BEAUTIFUL OUTFIT • FEELING GRATEFUL THAT I CAN BREATHE • BEING PART OF THE JEWISH NATION ••TRYING TRYING THE THE BEST BEST THAT THAT II CAN CAN •• WORKING ON MYSELF TO BE HAPPY • MAKING MY OWN HOME COOKED MEAL • MY HEALTH AND MY FAMILY'S HEALTH • REALIZING I DESERVED BETTER CHANGED EVERYTHING • THE ABILITY TO FEEL VERY ACCOMPLISHED • SEEING ALL MY FRIENDS IN COSTUME! SEEING A GLOW IN SOMEONE'S EYES • SPENDING QUALITY TIME WITH MY FAMILY • REALIZING WE ALL LOVE ONE ANOTHER • EYES OPEN, ARMS WIDE, HEART READY • HUGGING MY KIDS, BEING HUGGED BACK • BEING ALIVE DAY BY GLORIOUS DAY! • FRESH BAKED BREAD FROM THE OVEN • SITTING IN THE SUKKAH AND EATING DAYS FILLED WITH GRATITUDE AND APPRECIATION • ISRAEL, THE KOTEL, AND THE OCEAN • ALL MY PRECIOUS CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN • SPREADING JOY AND LOVE TO EVERYONE • MY BABY SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT • MY PARENTS MAKE ME SO HAPPY • DAVENING TO HASHEM MAKES ME HAPPY • FEELING LIKE I MAKE A DIFFERENCE • WALKING ALONG THE BEAUTIFUL OREGON COAST • CUDDLING WITH MY PARENTS AND BROTHER • LISTENING TO A LIVE SYMPHONIC PERFORMANCE • GOOD HEALTH AND MY CHILDREN'S SUCCESSES • CHILDREN, SUNSHINE, LOVE, FAMILY, ACHIEVEMENT, TORAH • FIRST RAY OF LIGHT IN DARKNESS • MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT • FAMILY CONVERSATION, GAMES, ICE CREAM, ART • WHEN IM DOING WHAT GOD WANTS • JOY IS LIVING REGULAR BORING LIFE WHAT BRINGS YOU JOY? I N S I X W O R D S A Purim project of North Shore University Hospital's Chaplaincy department, [email protected] Designed by Esther Berger [email protected] NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 15 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S Advertisement 16 NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S Advertisement NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 17 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I Membership Has Its Benefits…. A free benefit to our members. Through our partnership with Working Advantage you can now save up to 60% on: O N O F J E W I S C H Save up to 60% H A P L A I N S on tickets, travel and shopping! National Association of Jewish Chaplains Movie Tickets " Theme Parks " Ski Tickets members are eligible for the Working Advantage discount program. Broadway Shows " Sporting Events Register for your FREE account today! Hotels and Travel" Health and Fitness Go to www.workingadvantage.com Car Rentals" Gift Certificates Select the Register button at the top of the page Online Shopping" Museums and City Passes Select Employees Click Here …and much more! Enter Member ID #320148156 To access these benefits, click here: www.workingadvantage.com. When opening an Exclusive discounts include: individual account you will need the Neshama: Association Of Jewish Chaplains ID# 320148156. Working Advantage offers 24-hour online shopping andEntertainment customer support Monday through Friday from Shopping & Gifts Save up to 60% on movie tickets, theme parks, Working Advantage has partnered with your 8:00 AM to 6:30 PM Eastern time. If you have specific questions regarding the site, please contact Working ski resorts, hotels, museums, zoos, attractions, favorite online retailers to bring you excellent aquariums and more! discounts on apparel, books and music, Advantage at 800-565-3712. electronics, office supplies, flowers, food, Theatre &made Events by one of our and home. Don’t miss We our widelook selectionto of each This valuable membership perk is the result of a suggestion members. gift certificates for everyone on your list. Find great seats and super deals on a huge of you - our members - to help improve and enhance our organization. don't hesitate to reach out to us -winning Broadway selection of Tony Award Please Earn Rewards shows, family events, concerts and sporting with your suggestions and comments. Look for the Advantage Point symbol and events nationwide. 1 2 3 4 ® earn points to be redeemed for movie tickets, Among the current benefits of membership in our growing (600+) professional association gift cards, and more. are: NAJC members only listserv where chaplains post comments and receive support, advice, and tips www.workingadvantage.com from fellow members call (800) 565 - 3712 VITAS Hospice Discount Prescription Program (available once dues areor paid) A fantastic annual conference (stay tuned for more details…) A user friendly website (with further enhancements planned) Regional Y’mei Iyun (help us plan one in your area) Job postings and resume review service Certified Chaplains Only: subscription to PlainViews, the online journal that translates knowledge and skills into effective chaplaincy and palliative care. More Benefits Of Membership! Certified, Professional, and Student Members: As a member of NAJC, you are also a member of JPRO which shapes, defines and promotes professional leadership in Jewish communal service for the 21st Century. Working with a broad spectrum of organizations in the United States and Canada, JPRO connects practitioners and leadership and provides opportunities to share knowledge and collaborate across fields of service. JPRO brings together multiple professions, associations and advocacy groups, linking 13 local organizations by providing partnership and advancement opportunities. JPRO supports professional development and the creation and dissemination of educational resources, and promotes best practices, recognition, advocacy and networking. JPRO actively assists in the creation of new groups -- and in the development and retention of young talent through its prestigious Young Professional Award, which recognizes exemplary leadership, and its Graduate Students Network. 18 NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 N E S H A M A : A S S O C I A T I O With Our Members מזל טוב Mazal Tov to Moshe & Cheryl Abramowitz on the birth of a grandson in Yerushalayim to their children Chani (Wagner) and R. Dovid Abramowitz (Ramat Eshkol). Geoffrey & Gilah Haber on the wedding of their daughter Ariella to David Paris Cary Kozberg on the birth of a grandson, to Ben & Adina. Michelle Stern (Eitan Kimchi) on the birth of a daughter, Aviva Florence Kimchi-Stern. Sandi Berliner on the engagement of her son, Benjamin, to Imelda Mendoza Elihu Flax on his daughter Ariella’s graduation from George Mason University. Etta & Eitan Bendavid on the birth of a son. רפואה שלמה Wife of Jason Weiner המקום ינחם Pinchas Eisenbach on the death of his sister Mrs. Miriam Weingarten. Lev & Lisa Herrnson on the death of Lisa’s father, Harold J. Grill ישר כוח Nancy Fisher for receiving the Saul Schwarz award for distinguished service from JPRO, Jewish Professionals of New Jersey. N O F J E W I S H C H A P L A I N S !ברוכים הבאים We Welcome These New חברים: Professional Members: Ronnie Abrams " Los Angeles, CA " Oksana Chapman" Natick, MA" Michael Goldstein" Houston, TX" Daniel Kripper " Aruba " Paulette Posner New York, NY Joel Baron " Jamaica Plain, MA Sholom Freundlich " Brooklyn, NY Yeshayahu Greenfeld " Brooklyn, NY Diana (Devorah) Lynn " Washington, DC Military Members: Daniel Kamzan Pound Ridge, NY General Members: Sabrina Sojourner Rockville, MD Student Members: Larry Goller" Skokie, IL" Rose Wohl" Portland ME" Cheryl Miller" Gloucester, MA Richard Kline " Newton, MA Barry Pitegoff " Tampa, FL Share your life’s events by helping others! Donate to NAJC through any of these funds: The General Fund , Endowment Fund Israel Initiative, Chaplains Emergency Fund Rabbi Howard Kummer Memorial Fund for Pastoral Education Rabbi Pesach Krauss Keter Shem Tov Award Fund. Donations may be made in honor of or in memory of a friend or loved one. Contact the office for more information. 973-929-3168 NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016 19 N E S H A M A : A S S O Newsletter Deadline: June 8, 2016 Submit all materials in electronic format (Pages, Word Doc or RTF) to the editor: Rabbi Mark B. Goldfarb [email protected] Please Note These Upcoming Events: Y’mei Iyun May 2016, South Florida: Ministering to the Elderly. Contact: [email protected] Mid-Year Board Retreat June 5-7, 2016 Pearlstone Retreat Center Reisterstown, MD NAJC Annual Conferences: January 15-18, 2017: " Cincinnati, OH C I A T I O N O J E W I Rabbi Moe Kaprow C H Winter Springs, FL Cecille Allman Asekoff H A P L A I N S Rabbi Neal Loevinger Poughkeepsie, NY [email protected] Whippany, NJ 407-415-3322 845-249-9333 [email protected] President 973-929-3168 Executive V. President Rabbi Ruth Smith Rabbi Sandra Katz Baltimore, MD Rochester, NY [email protected] Rabbi Sol Agin [email protected] 410-328-0602 Ft. Myers, FL 585-784-6364 [email protected] President-elect Rabbi Valerie Stessin 239-560-5582 Jerusalem, Israel Membership Rabbi Michael Schorin [email protected] Sarasota, FL 972-52-482-5852 Rabbi Rena Arshinoff [email protected] Toronto, Ont. Canada 847-849-9287 [email protected] Morateinu Alissa Vice President Thomas-Newborn 416-603-5659 Los Angeles, CA [email protected] Rabbi Bryan Kinzbrunner Rabbi Joel Chazin [email protected] Beachwood, OH 310-850-6494 jchazin@montefiorecar Rabbi Jason Weiner e.org Los Angeles, CA 216-910-2522 [email protected] Rabbi Judi Ehrlich 310-944-4736 Rabbi Joe Ozarowski Newton, MA Skokie, IL [email protected] [email protected] 617-686-0780 773-908-3662 Secretary Rabbi David Fine Highland Park, NJ [email protected] 732-227-1212 Treasurer Rabbi Yaacov Rone Pittsfield, MA [email protected] Certification Hollywood, FL [email protected] 954-770-2406 Conference Rabbi Naomi Kalish Hoboken, NJ naomi.kalish@ gmail.com 201-892-9956 Immediate Past Pres. Modiin, Israel [email protected] 972-52-772-8300 Rabbi Mark Goldfarb Seal Beach, CA [email protected] 714-521-6765 Newsletter Editor Chaplain Margo Heda Fair Lawn, NJ [email protected] 201-686-4239 Rabbi Ben Lanckton Brookline, MA [email protected] 617-724-3228 20 S The 2016-17 Officers, Board & Committees Rabbi Cheryl Weiner Traveling To Israel? Please let the NAJC office know if you have plans to travel to Israel. Cecille Allman Asekoff [email protected] 973-929-3168 F NAJC is a professional organization and does not recommend or endorse any products. NAJC Newsletter Adar II 5776/March 2016