Deputy VC in Middle East arms controversy

Gay Before God?
Homosexuality and the church: is
the end to contention in sight?
p18-19
The
+
Hall Through the Ages
And you thought Caius was
bad...
p17
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, 24th February 2011
Lent Issue Six
Deputy VC in Middle East arms controversy
Philip Brook
Editor
Choppy waters
Cambridge colleges have been exposed as investors in arms
companies that have supplied weapons to Libya and Bahrain.
Image: DVIDSHUB
Deputy Vice Chancellor, Stuart
Laing has been exposed as a
member of a delegation to sell arms
to the Middle East.
Laing, also Master of Corpus
Christi College, is part of the much
criticised tour of the Middle East
being led by David Cameron,
which includes delegates from eight
of the largest arms corporations in
the world including BAE Systems,
Rolls Royce and QinetiQ.
The tour has been condemned for
promoting British interests at the
expense of stability in the region.
Despite claims that export licences
have now been revoked for both
Libya and Bahrain, several of the
touring companies have had long
relationships with both powers.
A University spokesman told The
Cambridge Student that: “Stuart
Laing is there in his capacity as
Deputy Vice Chancellor of the
University to promote our interests
across the Middle East. It is
perfectly normal for him to travel
with the Prime Minister.” However,
the University refused to comment
on the presence of arms companies
in the delegation, including some
known for extensive dealings with
Libya.
The relationship of the University
and Colleges with these companies
has been widely criticised. Several
colleges still hold shares directly
in BAE and Rolls Royce and many
more colleges indirectly invest in
these companies through pooled
funds. The University refused
to disclose whether it had any
investments in these companies.
BAE Systems signed a contract to
supply £200 million of weaponry
to Libya in 2007-2008 when five
colleges held shares in the company.
In June 2008, Trinity, Queens’,
Magdalene, Downing and Darwin
all owned shares with a combined
value of £848,168.
Even today, despite lobbying,
Magdalene still holds 40,000 BAE
shares, worth over £130,000. Only
Downing and Darwin were able to
confirm that their shares had been
sold. Meanwhile, as TCS revealed
last term, BAE has continued to
invest in the University, donating
£400,000 in 2008.
Similarly, several colleges had
holdings in GKN who part-own
Augusta Westland Helicopters, a
company closely linked to Libyan
arms deals. In 2008, St John’s
College owned over £4 million of
shares in the company.
According to their own website,
Augusta
Westland
recently
supplied the Libyan Government
with 20 helicopters including
double-engined
models
for
“border patrol duties” and larger
models for “general security”. The
company has been involved with
the University for over a decade,
funding helicopter research worth
£1.8 million as early as 1997.
Campaign Against The Arms
Trade
spokeswoman,
Kaye
Stearman, attacked the University:
“Stuart Laing may assert that he
is promoting university interests
but this trip will damage them.
Cambridge University, which
already accepts donations from
arms giants like BAE and Augusta
Westland, will see its reputation
further tarnished.”
£9k fees “don’t add up”: Staff attack University’s calculations
James Burton
News Editor
The University announced yesterday
that it would be seeking a vote
of support from all academics to
increase tuition fees to £9,000 from
September 2012 – despite accusations
its figures “don’t add up”.
A graph at the heart of yesterday’s
lengthy announcement in the
University Reporter purports to
show that the only way Cambridge
can replace the funding gap created
by government higher education cuts
is to charge students the full £9,000
fee.
However,
serious
concerns
have been raised over the way this
conclusion has been reached. Among
other hidden costs, undergraduates
would be expected to pay for
the entirety of a £4.2m cut to the
government’s Historic Buildings
Fund, even though Cambridge’s
buildings are used by academics and
postgraduates as well.
Still more worryingly, the
University’s call for £9,000 fees is
based on predicted cuts across the
entire government teaching budget,
without differentiating between cuts
to postgraduate and undergraduate
teaching. This forces undergraduates
to fund taught masters courses, as
well as their own degrees.
University Computing Service
staff member Bruce Beckles, who
has been analysing the University’s
figures, told The Cambridge Student
that “a crude approximation” would
suggest undergraduates will be
funding postgraduate study to the
tune of £4m a year.
Beckles pointed to significant
“scaremongering” by the University,
adding, “Observe that charging
£6,000 fees, instead of £9,000 fees,
just for a year only actually means
...continued on page 3
Caprice leaves Union Society
bra-ssed off
Cambridge falls from second to
fourth in satisfaction survey
Green councillor calls for ban on
sale of fur in Cambridge
Sacha Baron Cohen backs
Cambridge synagogue
Hotel booking service plugs
Cambridge during boat race
Caprice Bourret cancelled her appearance at the Union last night,
tweeting to President Lauren
Davidson, “I just feel terrible
about it.”
Page 2
Times Higher Education reports
a fall in Cambridge’s overall rank.
The validity of the survey has been
called into question.
Page 3
In the wake of Mook Vintage closing
down, Cllr Adam Pogonowski has
backed a petition by Animal Rights
Cambridge to ban fur sales in Cambridge.
Page 4
If planning permission is received,
the £1.7 million building will provide a permanent shul for the University’s Jewish community.
Page 5
DirectRooms.com claims hotels are
swamped by high demand in Cambridge; students and local hotels
scorn claims as “trying to pull a fast
one”.
IN THE NEWS
The
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
02| Editorial
THE CAMBRIDGE STUDENT
THE TEAM
Editors in Chief: Philip Brook & Zoah Hedges-Stocks - [email protected]; Design Editor: Rhys Cater- [email protected]; Magazine Editor: Julia Rampen - [email protected];
Photography Editor: Marta Gruszczynska - [email protected]; News Editor: James Burton - [email protected]; Deputy News Editors: Elspeth Carruthers, Eleanor Dickinson, Judith
Welikala & Michael Yoganayagam; News Photography Editor: Devon Buchanan; Investigations Editor: Nat Rudarakanchana; International Editors: Anna Carden & Helen Ronald - international@
tcs.cam.ac.uk; Interviews Editors: Tom Belger & Bryony Clarke - [email protected]; Deputy Interviews Editor: Catherine Barker; Comment Editors: Mike Alhadeff & Saranyah Sukumaran
- [email protected]; Deputy Comment Editor: Ella Fung; Features Editor: Graeme Cummings; Deputy Features Editor: Abi See; Fashion Features: Alex Davies, Katya Kazakevich & Lizzy
Burden; Film & TV Editors: Daniel Janes & Dominic Preston; Food Features: Izzy Pritchard; Food Review Editor: Matthew Topham; Literature Features: Vaishnavi Girish & Tanjil Rashid; Music
Editor: Rosie Howard-Williams; Deputy Music Editor: Mark Seow; Theatre Editor: Hattie Peachey - [email protected]; Sports Editor: Tom Smith - [email protected]; Deputy Sports Editor;
Fran O’Brien; Listings Editor, James-Henry Metter; Chief Sub-Editor: Ben Richardson; Sub-Editors: Alice Gormley, Rebecca Phillips, Abbie Saunders, Emily Loud; Nicholas Tufnell, Illustrator: Clémentine Beauvais; Web Editor: Mark Curtis; Board of Directors: Jen Mills and Jess Touschek (Co-Chairs), Mark Curtis (Business), Dan Green, Faye Rolfe, Alex Wood, Phil Brook & Zoah
Hedges-Stocks [email protected].
EDITORIAL
It seems that for weeks every issue of
this paper has carried a story on ‘the
cuts’.
In fact, this paper has used the
term 91 times in the five issues so
far this term. Some, understandably,
might find the subject dull, but the
repetition is necessary – the effect
that these cuts will have will affect us
all in some sense. So it is unsurprising
that the University has been casting
around for ways to make up the
funding shortfall.
A month ago, The Cambridge
Student revealed the £450,000 of
bonuses that had been given to the
University’s Investment Office. Now
we know what they were being paid
for - Cambridge not only invests
heavily in arms companies, but has
receievd massive donations from
them too.
Furthermore, University officials
are currently touring the Middle East
in attempt to hawk more weaponry
to local governments, even as the
graphic effects of these business deals
are being beamed around the world.
Naturally, some students will feel
uncomfortable that their money
may be indirectly rerouted towards
the manufacture of landmines and
warheads. Is this the price that
Cambridge has to pay to stay afloat?
Perhaps it is the time to take a purely
pragmatic viewpoint. BAE Systems is
one of the biggest companies in the
world, and it is, after all, just supplying
a demand.
Closer to home, TCS is dismayed to
report that Aaron Porter had stolen the
work of our very own photographer
and Michaelmas co-Editor, Jess
Touschek. The photo, taken on the
day of the Millbank protest, was used
unaccredited in Porter’s now-defunct
manifesto. Touschek was just one of
several student photographers whose
work Porter planned to use without
admission. Whilst a trifling concern
next to Porter’s loss of the public
confidence, it does show a level of
unprofessionalism that one would
not expect from a person in his
position of power.
Porter’s high profile loss of
popularity over the recent months
could be either a good thing or a bad
thing for the NUS. On one hand,
his perceived failings could inspire
a new line-up of candidates eager to
do better; on the other hand, it may
convince a generation of students
that the national union is ineffective
and a poisoned chalice. Only time
will tell.
Political wranglings are very much
the order of the moment: the LGBT
campaign has just held hustings, and
CUSU are gearing up for theirs next
week. Hopefully the new President
will fare better than Porter.
Underwear model drops out of Union talk
Eleanor Dickinson
Deputy News Editor
“I am so sorry I had to
let you all down”
future.”
A second year, physicist from
Christ’s Colleege, expressed his
disappointment at her cancellation:
“I was very much looking forward to
seeing her.”
Managers prefer ‘gap yahs’
Teacher’s career at risk after writing pupils into sex and drugs novel
Managers in suits improve team
performance
LSE students occupy over links
to Libya
A study by Projects Abroad has
found that 53% of business managers placed gap years an equally important determinant as traditional
degrees in short-listing candidates
for interviews, whilst a further 7%
believed gap years to be of greater
importance.
Dr. Peter Slowe, founder and director Projects Abroad, said: “These
findings serve as a real wake-up call
to anyone who ever doubted the
value of overseas gap year travel.This
really shows just how far this once
‘off-the-wall’ concept has come.”
Leonora Rustamova, an English
teacher at Calder High School in
Yorkshire, is to find out whether she
will be allowed to return to work
after she was sacked two years ago
for putting pupils at her school into
a self-published book containing
sexual fantasies, drugs, and bad language. The novel, Stop! Don’t Read
This’ began as a plan to encourage
a group of trouble-making boys in
Rustamova’s English class to read.
Pupils began to add their own installments.. Both pupils and parents
protested her sacking.
Football managers who wear suits
for matches and tracksuits for training are more likely to get the best out
of their teams, according to new research by sports scientists at the University of Portsmouth. Participants
in the study were shown pictures of
managers of varying body types in
suits of tracksuits. Coaches wearing
suits were ranked lowest in competence to build motivation and to
improve strategy and technique.. Dr
Richard Thelwell said “a coach in a
suit suggests strategic prowess which
is obviously ideal for a match.”
LSE students began an occupation
of the university’s Senior Common
Room at 7pm on Tuesday evening
in protest at its association with the
Qadafi regime in Libya.
LSE have received £300,000 from
the Qadafi family and were set to receive more. The university recently
announced it would not be accepting any more money from Libya
following recent events. Hundreds
of Libyans have been killed in the
past week in a brutal crackdown by
leader Muammar Qadafi, whose son
Seif has a PhD from LSE.
Recycled paper made up
80.6% of the raw material for
UK newspapers in 2006
Days of Rage in the Middle
East: Egypt torn between
the National Republic Jail
and her people.
p.08
INTERVIEWS
MUSIC
NEWS BULLETIN News in Brief
NEWSPAPERS
SUPPORT
RECYCLING
INTERNATIONAL
TCS speaks to Richard
Martell, founder of
FitFinder remake ‘Floxx’
p.10
Union Press officer, Sophie Hollows
explained: “Caprice was forced to
postpone her speech at the Union
tonight due to severe traffic coming
from London which we believe to
have been caused by a road accident.
She was sincerely apologetic and has
already suggested dates to reschedule.
Unfortunately, this does happen
from time to time. The Union looks
forward to hosting her in the near
Image: Tony Langford
There was disappointment at the
Cambridge Union today after
model-turned-businesswoman,
Caprice Bourret failed to appear for
her scheduled talk. The Cambridge
Student believe this is due to heavy
traffic on the M11 after a car crash
occurred earlier today.
Caprice apologised profusely
to President Lauren Davidson on
Twitter: “Lauren I am so so sorry I let
u all down. I just feel terrible about
it. I will make it up to u I promise
xxxx”.
She told TCS: “I’m so sorry I
had to let u all down. I am going to
reschedule first thing in the morning
and will explain all then”
THIS WEEK
The Cambridge Student is published by Cambridge University Students’ Union. All copyright is the exclusive property of the Cambridge University Students’ Union. Although The Cambridge Student is affiliated to the University Students’ Union we are editorially independent and financially selfsufficient. No part of this publication is to be reproduced, stored on a retrieval system or submitted in any form or by any means without prior permission of the publisher.
Compiling a mixtape isn’t
as easy as it seems. Simon
Mee gives some much
needed guidance.
p.23
FILM & TV
The movers and shakers of
p.24
the Oscars
Got an idea for a story?
Want to write for
The Cambridge Student?
Email [email protected]
The
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
Christmas bomber report rejects censorship
News |03
New leads in
sex attacker
case
Image: Steve Cadman
Charlotte Callinan
“Engage, not marginalise”
Report warns against University
censorship of extreme speakers
Sex Attack
Judith Welikala
Deputy News Editor
A recently published report on
freedom of speech in campuses
by Universities UK has advised
universities to “engage, not
marginalise” with extreme or
offensive speakers, asserting: “unless
views can be expressed they cannot
also be challenged.”
The report was commissioned
in the aftermath of the attempted
bombing of a flight from Amsterdam
to Detriot by former UCL student
Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab on
Christmas Day 2009.
Although Abdulmutallab was
closely involved with his university’s
Islamic Society, the report found no
evidence of this having an impact on
his radicalisation.
Professor
Malcolm
Grant,
chairman of the review panel asserted:
“The survey findings confirm how
seriously universities take their
responsibilities in relation to the
safety and security of their staff and
students, alongside their obligations
to protect and promote free speech
and academic freedom.”
He added: “Universities are
open institutions where academic
freedom and freedom of speech are
fundamental to their functioning.”
While he acknowledged “all
freedoms have limits imposed by
law and these considerations are
vital to ensure the safety and well
being of students, staff and the wider
community”, he warned against
“additional censorship, surveillance
or invasion of privacy”.
Safian Younas, President of the
University of Cambridge Islamic
Society (ISoc) found it “pleasing
to note that the report recognises
the importance of universities in
allowing academic freedom and
enabling free speech by fomenting
debate and discussion.”
“It is our hope that British university
campuses will remain fertile grounds
for vigorous discussion and critical
thinking, in spite of attempts by a
minority who seek to fear monger
and censor legitimate debate.”
He argued the issue of radicalisation
on campuses and the wider issue of
extremism in the Muslim community
have been “over-represented by
media outlets.”
“That’s not to hush away a problem
that does exist to an extent, but just
to put it in its rightful context and
proportion.
It would be naive to suggest that
simply because some convicted
terrorists attended university (and
were members of student religious
societies) there is a causal relationship
between the two.”
Sophie Hollow, Press Officer of
the Cambridge Union Society, said:
“Freedom of speech is an essential
part of what the Union stands for,
and we approach a wide range of
important and difficult issues, but
we expect our speakers to respect the
law, the audience and each other.”
“The President in the Chair has
the right and the responsibility to
intervene if he or she feels that the
speaker is being inappropriate.”
Cambridge slips down student experience league table
Michael Yoganayagam
Deputy News Editor
Cambridge’s overall ranking in the
Times Higher Education (THE)
Student Experience Survey 2011 has
fallen to fourth, having been second
last year.
This puts Cambridge behind the
Universities of East Anglia, Sheffield
and Loughborough (who topped the
survey overall for the fifth year in a
row) in terms of its own students’
assessment of campus life.
“statistically irrelevant
and potentially
damaging”
Oxford also saw a fall in its ranking
– from third last year to sixth this
year. The University of Westminster
was the worst ranked University in
the survey – in fact, all of the bottom
7 institutions are located in London.
THE surveyed over 13,000 fulltime undergraduates at 113 UK
universities, asking them to rate
21 aspects of university life, both
academic and extra-curricular, and
all chosen by students, on a sevenpoint scale. These results were then
assigned weights and aggregated
to give an overall score for each
university.
According to THE, “respondents
were not told the purpose of the
poll and were unable to complete
the survey more than once” in order
to prevent students giving unduly
high scores, to enhance their own
institution’s performance.
Cambridge scored the highest in
the academic attributes, with the
highest scores nationwide in both
“Helpful/interested staff ” and “Wellstructured courses”. It had the jointhighest score, along with Oxford, in
“High quality staff/lectures”, while
both were considerably ahead of the
rest of the field in “Tuition in small
groups”, by virtue of the Oxbridge
system of supervisions and tutorials.
However, the 252 Cambridge
students surveyed also gave
Cambridge the third lowest score
for “Good social life” out of the
universities in the top 40 of the
overall ranking. The University’s
sports facilities were also ranked the
second worst amongst the top 40.
second most unfair
workload in the country
Other striking areas of poor
performance was in the “Good
student union” category, where
CUSU was the third worst-ranked
union in the top 40. However, CUSU
pointed out: “The authors have failed
to take into account the differences
between universities when framing
questions for the survey.”
“Criteria such as Students’ Unions,
how cheap their bar/shop is, how
centralised their facilities are etc.
refer to completely different things at
different universities, depending on
whether that university is collegiate
or non-collegiate, campus or noncampus etc.”
More generally, it also condemned
the survey as “statistically irrelevant
and potentially damaging”. It pointed
out: “49 out of the 108 universities
surveyed last year moved by 10
places or more in this year’s rankings,
with some shifting by as many as 40
places.”
“It is hard to believe that the
student experience at more than 46%
of the universities involved changes
that dramatically year on year.”
In a question about “Fair workload”,
Cambridge was the second-worst
institution, behind Imperial College,
London.
A first year Medic at Downing
disagreed with this assessment: “I don’t
doubt that the workload is greater
here than at other universities but it
is not unfair. The University is meant
to create a challenging environment
for the brightest students, which will
ultimately benefit us in the future.”
Sian Williams, a first year Natural
Scientist at Clare, was focusing on
the positives: “Well at least we’re still
beating Oxford”.
Police claim to have several leads
on the Cambridge sex attacker after
a public appeal. There have been six
attacks on women in Cambridge
since November last year.
The most recent incident was during
the early hours of 7th February when
a 27 year-old women was grabbed on
Shelly Row, off Mount Pleasant Road
in the Castle area.
After a recent public appeal,
members of the public have
contacted Cambridgeshire Police
with information.
Detective Inspector Billy Bremner
said, “We are following up several
leads given to us by calls from
members of the public.”
“This is a person who is going
out and targeting lone females. The
sooner we get him in custody the
better.” Police fear that the man may
widen the area of his attacks if not
identified soon.
The offender is described as white,
aged between 20 to 30, around 5ft
10in to 6ft tall, of medium build and
physically strong.
Cambridgeshire
Police
urge
anyone to contact them immediately
if they have any information relevant
to the case.
£9000 fee
proposal
under scrutiny
...continued from front page
we fail to make an additional £6m
or thereabouts (because of the extra amounts we have to spend on
fee waivers, bursaries, etc. if charge
£9,000 fees). Given our annual
turnover and the size of our endowment, particularly after the 800th
Anniversary Campaign, we could
afford that, as a strictly limited
measure, without even blinking.”
The Reporter’s Notice announcing a vote states that University
Council discussions leading up to
the £9,000 fee recommendation
“included senior University and
College representatives, and the
President of Cambridge University
Students’ Union”. What the Notice
omits is that at least two Colleges involved in those discussions
strongly disagreed with its recommendation, as TCS revealed two
weeks ago.
Furthermore, CUSU President
Rahul Mansigani intended to submit a formal ‘note of dissent’ expressing his disagreement with the
decision. Publication by the University of a Report, rather than a
Notice, would have allowed for dissenting opinions to be registered.
CUSU plans to challenge the University by organising an amending
vote asking Council to charge fees
only at the level required “to replace the cuts to... grants in support
of undergraduate teaching” and to
maintain bursaries at their current
level.
The
04| News
News in Brief
Bullingdon Club member handcuffed after row over girl
Nick Green, a final year engineering student at Oxford and member
of the Bullingdon Club, was handcuffed and led away last week after
a row with another student. The
incident occurred outside a nightclub whilst Green was wearing the
distinctive £1,200 Bullingdon Club
tailcoat.
Green is alleged to have started a
row with Etiene Ekpoutip because
he was ‘not happy’ about his friendship with Miranda Gilbert, Green’s
ex-girlfriend. Although Ekpoutip
was so injured that an ambulance
had to be called, police say that he
has decided not to press charges.
Quick-thinking cashier averts lorry
explosion
Latvian man shot dead for eating
popcorn too loudly
A 42-year old Latvian man was
shot on Saturday in a multiplex cinema in the capital city of Riga, and
later died of his wounds. Witnesses
claimed it was due to a row over how
loudly the victim was eating his popcorn.
The shooting happened during
the credits for ‘Black Swan’, the Oscar-nominated ballet film starring
Natalie Portman.
Police said a 27-year-old man had
been arrested. Gun crime in relatively rare in Latvia, which has a population of 2.2 million.
RON wins Murray Edwards presidential race
RON has won the Murray Edwards JCR presidential race the
second time in a row, defeating candidates Vanda Pickup, an Archaeology and Anthropology student, and
economist Jenny Tollman, both in
first year.
Concerns were expressed that their
policies focussed only on ents and
‘paninis’, according to one second
year Murray Edwards student, who
said ‘I think part of the reason that
RON won was that people did not
have confidence in the candidates.
They didn’t seem to know what the
role entailed’. Nominations for the
position have been opened again.
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
Personal statement plagiarism program prospers
Charlotte Callinan
Cases of plagiarism amongst
university applicants rose by a third
in 2010. Last year, UCAS software
identified almost 30,000 separate
incidents of plagiarism in personal
statements.
The software, called Copycatch,
was first piloted on Oxbridge
Medicine, Vetinary and Dentistry
applications in 2007. It has been
used nationwide by UCAS to detect
plagiarism since 2008. The software
works by spotting when at least 10%
of a personal statement is identical to
online material or other applicants’
submissions.
Since 2008, publicity regarding
the software resulted in a drop in
plagiarism, making 2010 the first
year to report a rise in incidents.
UCAS found that hundreds of
personal statements shared the same
opening lines, with quotations by
Coco Chanel being among the most
popular. Another anecdote about
burning holes in pyjamas while
experimenting with a toy chemistry
set was reproduced countless times
by aspiring scientists. The lifted
material mostly came from websites
that provide free examples of personal
statements, such as Studential.
Copycatch is believed to be very
effective at identifying plagiarism. Dr
Geoff Parks, Director of Admissions,
told The Cambridge Student that the
software “seems to work very well”,
adding that the University employed
no additional measures to detect
copying.
However, instances of plagiarism
in applications to Cambridge remain
low. Dr Parks said that only “a handful
of cases a year” were identified, and as
such, the University was not worried
about the overall rise.
UCAS consider the personal
statement to be “one of the most
important parts of the application,”
giving the applicant a “chance to
stand out from the crowd”. However,
Dr Parks indicated that the statement
is “a source of information rather
than a basis of selection”, suggesting
that the University’s relative lack of
concern could also partly be a result
of the lesser weight of the statement
in assessing Cambridge applicants.
Fur flies as councillor backs animal rights protestors
Zoah Hedges-Stocks
Editor
Green Party Councillor Adam
Pogonowski has called for Cambridge
City Council to ban the sale of
fur on Cambridge City Council
property. Pogonowski, a 24-year-old
Cambridge graduate, said “I strongly
support this campaign to persuade
Cambridge City Council to ban the
selling of animal fur. The trade in
fur is a brutal and cruel process’. His
statement was in support of a petition
by Animal Rights Cambridge, the
longest-standing animal rights group
in the UK.
Pogonowski’s support is the latest
success in their campaign to make
Camrbidge fur-free, and follows the
closure of the popular King Street
second-hand clothing and fur retailer
Mook Vintage in January.
ARC described Mook Vintage
as a ‘dubious outfit’ and said that ‘if
the business re-opens in Cambridge
it will be the target of continued
protest’.
Mook’s closure came as a surprise
to students, who made up a large part
of its clienetele. Local businessman
Trevor Nicholls told TCS that his
decision to close the shop ‘had
absolutely nothing to do with the fur
activists’ and was ‘purely down to the
financial side of things’.
Nicholls defended the sale of
vintage fur: ‘like all vintage clothes
it’s recycled [and] therefore an
environmentally friendly product’
and expressed his concerns about
‘much greater and more genuine
problems with animal rights in the
world today, with many species facing
extinction through loss of habitat,
poaching and overfishing’.
However,
Animal
Rights
Cambridge spokesperson Aran
Mathai feels that all fur, ’whether it be
mislabelled cat or dog from China,
raccoon or mink from the US, new
fur items or vintage…all perpetuate
this symbol of selfish cruelty’.
After Mook’s closure there is now
only one remaining trader selling
fur in Cambridge. Although ARC’s
own website encourages lawful and
peaceful protests, one Indymedia
commenter stated ‘we will get rid of
these scum. We know where they
live, will fight them by any means
necessary.’
Image: Helen Simpkiss
A petrol station cashier prevented
the possibility of a catastrophic explosion on the A14 near Cambridge
yesterday when he looked up from
his till to see an overturned lorry
sliding towards the petrol pumps.
Paul Gibbi quickly flicked the switch
to turn off the pumps. The lorry
came to a halt a few feet away.
The crash, involving two lorries,
happened around 4am. Police and
the fire service were called and one
passenger was evacuated using special cutting equipment. Gibbi’s son
Wayne, manager of the petrol station, said: “The A14 between Huntingdon and Cambridge is a dangerous stretch of road and it needs to be
sorted out.”
CambridgeStudent
NUS tactics under fire as Porter bows out
Judith Welikala
Deputy News Editor
The National Union of Students
(NUS) has again been criticised for
being out of touch with students’
interests by opponents to rising
tuition fees after a recent memo
recommended student leaders
“engage” with university leaders as
opposed to solely campaigning.
Porter: NUS needs
“reinvigorating” and a
“fresh outlook”
This comes in the wake of President
Aaron Porter’s announcement that he
will not be seeking a re-election.
Concern was raised over the
description of the new fees system as
“relatively progressive.”
CUSU President Rahul Mansigani
said: “It is disappointing that anyone
views as progressive a scheme that
the NUS, CUSU and students up
and down the country campaigned
against.
“The cuts to teaching grants
that began under Labour have
been continued with even greater
speed and recklessness under the
coalition. With such incredible cuts,
Cambridge and other universities are
being forced to charge £9,000 just to
replace public funding.”
He added: “CUSU and our students
are outraged and disappointed that
this is the situation the government
has put us in.”
Vice President for Higher
Education, Usman Ali, defended
NUS’ “progressive” claim: “We have
consistently acknowledged that the
loan repayment system proposed
by the government has progressive
features, mainly because graduates
with low lifetime earnings will have
large debts written off after thirty
years. This is almost universally
accepted and backed by the Institute
of Fiscal Studies.”
However, he stressed “the system
overall is - in our view - deeply
regressive as those people with the
highest lifetime earnings will pay
the least as a proportion of all their
earnings” and “the variable fee system
will distribute funding towards more
socially exclusive universities and
away from those with high numbers
of students from disadvantaged
backgrounds.
“Just because a few aspects of the
system act progressively, doesn’t
make the system a good one, or the
right one.”
In an open letter to the NUS
membership, Porter said the “new
regime brings with it a new landscape,
and NUS “now needs reinvigorating
into the next phase of this campaign”.
The new leader needs a “fresh
outlook” to “move beyond the tired
rhetoric and redundant tactics of
some factional group”.
“CUSU and our
students are outraged
and disappointed”
Although Mansigani was critical of
the cuts, he was sympathetic to Porter’s
handling of the situation:“whilst there
has been criticism of his leadership,
he has done his best in a difficult role
in an extremely difficult year, leading
one of the largest demonstrations in
years, and dealing with a range of
other issues.
“We look forward to the elections
for the new NUS President, and
appreciate the need for a fresh
perspective.”
ARU burglar
sentenced
Alex Walsh
A judge at Cambridge Crown
Court has given an Anglia Ruskin
University mature student an eight
month suspended sentence. Martin
Eastcroft, a thirty-four year old
Psychology student, was arrested in
November for burglary and has a
score of previous convictions.
Eastcroft, who gained qualifications
whilst in prison, was found
wandering around shared student
accommodation in the early hours of
the morning, using a candle to light
his way. Later that morning he broke
in again. Afterwards it was found that
a laptop had been taken.
Police arrested Eastcroft during a
lecture last November after he had
been identified through fingerprints.
Justice Gareth Hawkesworth
described Eastcroft as “a lost soul”
and warned him of the implications
of not attending all his lectures.
Hawkesworth said that he had
suspended the sentence as it was
possible that Eastcroft might change
his ways. Eastcroft was fined £650 and
was ordered to attend a six-month
drug rehabilitation programme.
The
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
News |05
Fellow’s window smashed with punt pole Borat backs Cambridge
synagogue
Michael Yoganayagam
Deputy News Editor
“You just never expect
this kind of thing to
happen in Cambridge”
The incident left the floor of the
office littered with the punt pole
and shattered glass, forcing supervisions to be postponed on Thursday morning.
Jin Hyung-Lee, a first year Engineer who also lives in Lerner Court,
commented: “I was really shocked
when I found out – I didn’t hear
anything, and it only happened
downstairs.
You just never expect this kind of
thing to happen in Cambridge”.
The incident after comes after
Cambridge City Council last week
considered a motion to endorse the
Government’s decision to impose
levies on late licence pubs and clubs
following a recent rise in crime.
The city’s Market ward, which
stretches from The Fitzwilliam Museum up to Jesus Green, has seen a
forty percent increase in offences
since last year.
ARU develops life-saving bonnet
Tessa Evans
Researchers at Anglia Ruskin University have developed a ‘pedestrian
friendly’ car bonnet that could save
thousands of lives.
New product will
decrease head trauma
by 60 per cent
The new technology is expected
to decrease head trauma by 60%
for those hit by cars, reducing the
number of pedestrians and cyclists
killed in road accidents.
The bonnet includes an energy
absorption system which dissipates
energy under compression. The
material therefore folds inwards on
impact, reducing the severity of a
collision.
Professor Hassan Shirvani, an
ARU professor who developed the
technology in collaboration with
impact absorption specialists Cellbond, told The Cambridge Student:
“Pedestrians account for 20 per
cent of all traffic fatalities in Europe, with the majority of injuries
being caused by the head impacting
on the vehicle.”
A spokesman for the Cambridge
Cycling Campaign welcomed the
innovation but added “reducing
speeds on residential and shopping
streets from 30mph to 20mph “ was
a more effective way of saving lives.
“a more effective way
of saving lives”
Sharon Craft, Marketing Manager at Cellbond, told TCS: “the
company are happy to look at any
option that could save pedestrian
lives”, and continued, “we need to
look at options that not only save
lives but are also practical and cost
effective.”
Michael Bulcik / SKS Soft GmbH Düsseldorf
A Clare Fellow’s ground-floor office window was smashed late last
Wednesday night, after vandals
threw a punt pole through it.
The Fellow, who wished not to be
named, was not in the office at the
time.
CCTV images from the back of
Lerner Court, Clare College, where
the incident took place, have been
passed to the police. They show
three offenders throwing the pole
from Burrell’s Walk – the public
path that runs alongside Clare’s
Memorial Court and the University Library. The police have not yet
made any arrests.
Katy Davis
Sacha Baron Cohen, creator of Ali
G and Borat and an alumnus of
Christ’s College, is backing plans to
build a £1.7 million synagogue in
Cambridge.
Beth Shalom Reform are awaiting
planning permission for their own
building after 30 years of meeting
in temporary premises. Baron
Cohen was enlisted to further the
project’s development by his cousin
and member of the congregation
Professor Simon Baron Cohen,
The internationally famous actor,
now living in LA, explained his
move saying that “Beth Shalom
will finally have a permanent shul.
As a former student of Cambridge
University, I know how important
this development will be for future
students to celebrate their Jewish
identity.”
Frank Harris, Shul Building
Committee Chair, explained that a
deposit had been put down on land
in Auckland Road for a shul and
community centre, with the aim of
opening in time for Rosh Hashanah
2012. “It’s a very exciting progress.
We have raised about 50 per cent of
the money needed and we will seek to
raise more once planning permission
has been granted, hopefully by the
end of March.”
“It’s a great thing for students
here because they’ve never had
a Progressive synagogue to go to
before.”
The
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
News in Brief
Cambridge MP made ‘Parliamentarian of the Month’
Julian
Huppert
has
been
named Brake and Direct Line’s
‘Parliamentarian of the Month’ for
his work to promote cyclists’ safety.
He was “delighted to have received
this award.
“We have worked hard in
Cambridge to promote cycling
as a viable alternative to the car
and anything that recognises and
publicises that work is extremely
welcome.”
Huppert successfully lobbied the
Government at the end of last year
for continued funding of the cycle
proficiency scheme, Bikeability.
Huppert adde that “there is still a
great deal of work to be done.”
CambridgeStudent
News |07
Controversial think tank to fund University research
Eleanor Dickinson
Deputy News Editor
Cambridge University is to work
with RAND Europe Corporation to
launch a new health services research
centre based at the University.
However, it has been revealed that
amongst RAND’s clients are the US
Department of Defence, the Joint
Improvised Explosive Devise Defeat
Organisation and the Nuclear Threat
Initiative – all groups linked to weaponry and military operations.
This news comes less than a month
after it was revealed Cambridge was
receiving funding from US govern-
ment defence organisations.
RAND Europe, an arm of the US
policy research institute, is working
in partnership with the University of
Cambridge Health Services Research
Group in setting up the centre.
Cambridge Defend Education was
quick to condemn RAND’s involvement with the project.
“unaccountable
corporate funding”
Third year activist , Liam McNulty,
told The Cambridge Student: “Given
the track record of corporate funding
in education, research and public services, people would be right to worry
about the interests of profit being prioritised over academic freedom and
the needs of people.
“Unaccountable corporate funding
should not and must not replace the
public funding of education.
“By capitulating in the face of government cuts and by planning to
charge the maximum tuition fees, the
University is clearly launching itself
further down the path of marketisation and subordination to corporate
interests.”
A University spokesman however
defended the project, commenting:
Sit-in at Barclays branches
Wang and Paston set to go head-tohead for prestigious comedy award
student
pilots
The Ministry of Defence has confirmed that up to 170 RAF student
pilots are to be sacked as part of the
5,000 redundancies outlined for the
Air Force in last year’s Strategic Defence and Security Review.
This is almost double the figure of
100 initially reported on 14th February in The Daily Telegraph.
Given that training an RAF pilot
can cost up to £4 million, this decision represents a significant nonreturn on the MoD’s investment in
these trainees. The MoD will also
have to make significant redundancy payments.
We don’t need no education
Fire-fighters were called to put
out a blaze at the Department of
Education Studies.
Two crews arrived at the building,
located on Hills Road, South
Cambridge, at 4.30am last Friday.
The fire was allegedly caused by a
storeroom fridge which overheated.
Both the storeroom and an adjacent
kitchen suffered smoke damage.
It is believed that nobody was
hurt as a result of the fire, though
the Department was unavailable for
comment.
The cost of the damage has not yet
been estimated, but early this week
the building was open as usual.
“It works across a wide range of
areas including healthcare, education, IT and defence and security.
Its various divisions do not overlap.
The Health Services Research Group
chaired by Professor Martin Roland
works in a joint partnership with the
RAND healthcare division.”
Hotel service
“pulls a fast
one”
An online hotel booking service is
making exaggerated claims about
tourists flocking to Cambridge for
the annual Oxford-Cambridge boat
race in an apparent attempt to drum
up business.
Although the boat race takes
place along the Thames in London,
Directrooms.com, an ‘independent
discount hotel reservations company’
established in 2000, is claiming:
“Lots of people choose to stay in
Cambridge’s dreaming spires and
take a train into central London for
the boat race day itself .”
“no-one comes to
Cambridge for the boat
race”
Image: Devon Buchanan
of
“marketisation and
subordination to
corporate interests”
Elspeth Carruthers
Deputy News Editor
Cambridge comedians, Emerald
Paston, and King’s Footlights regular,
Phil Wang, have been selected for
the final of the Comedy Central Live
‘Funniest Student’ award.
A jubilant Wang said: “I’m just
happy to play the Comedy Store,
and if I’m judged to be the best
performance of the night that would
be lovely. I do, however, intend to
pummel Emerald Paston into the
ground. I’d readily sacrifice our
friendship for this.”
Paston also squared up to her
Cantabridgian competitor: “I’m sure
he’s practising his fighting talk and
evil stare as we speak.”
Hundreds
dropped
“RAND is a US-based private not-forprofit research organisation which
lives by getting research grants.
Devon Buchanan
Last Saturday, 40 Cambridge students
and residents occupied branches of
Barclay’s bank as a walking bus to
protest against local public transport
cuts and the bank’s tax avoidance.
Protesters entered the branches
on both Market Hill and Benet
Street singing, to the tune of ‘The
Wheels on the Bus Go Round and
Go Round’, “The bankers’ bonuses
go up up up, up up up, up up up; the
bus services get cut cut cut; it’s all
wrong!” The protests are part of UK
Uncut’s national “big society bail-in”
campaign, a parody of the recent
bank bailouts that turns commercial
premises into the public services that
are being affected by the cuts.
“we should be cutting
banker’s bonuses,
not support for the
vulnerable”
Protesters then started a sit-down
protest where a mock attack was
staged by another group of protesters
wieldingBarclay’s-brandedcardboard
weapons - an indictment of the bank’s
investment in the arms trade.
A King’s student who attended
said, “We are defending transport,
libraries, education and the arts.
“The cuts to public services aren’t
necessary if we stop the rich from
avoiding taxes. We should be cutting
bankers’ bonuses, not support for the
vulnerable.”
Next Saturday UK Uncut protesters
will target RBS and NetWest’s bonus
culture and investment in fossil fuels.
The boat race, which takes place in
March, apparently sees ‘the University
town of Cambridge invaded by
fans of the world famous Oxford Cambridge XChanging Boat Race.’
Lek Boonlert, marketing head at
DirectRooms.com, advises ‘booking
online well in advance’ – presumably
with DirectRooms.
Students have reacted with scorn
to the hotel company’s claims.
A second year Christ’s student, said:
“As far as I’m aware, no-one comes
to Cambridge for the boat race. I’ve
been to the boat race with my friends
and we went to London.”
A staff member at The University
Arms told The Cambridge Student:
“I think they’re trying to pull a fast
one. We get a lot for graduation, but
not for the boat race.”
Cambridge researcher slams cyber crime report
Charlotte Callinan
A Cambridge academic has criticised
a new report issued by the UK Cabinet
Office that claims cyber crime costs
the UK economy £27 billion a year.
Written by technology consulting
firm, Detica, the report states that
this would amount to approximately
2% of the UK’s GDP.
However, the report’s validity has
been strongly questioned by Dr
Tyler Moore, a researcher for the
Cambridge Computer Laboratory.
The report claims that 60% of the cost
is due to intellectual property theft
and espionage, but fails to describe in
full, the process used to obtain these
figures, making them impossible to
verify.
Moore told The Cambridge
Student, “My main complaint with
the report is that they have dressed
up this guessing game on losses with
language implying that the analysis
is methodologically sound, which it
clearly isn’t”.
The figures are based on a sector-
specific probability of theft, but
the report does not specify these
probabilities or the rationale behind
them.
However, they are crucial to the
final figure, and a small change in
these probabilities would mean a
dramatic change in the prediction.
Moore added the report was “using
the imprimatur of the UK government
to incorrectly imply that the figure
are as reliable as other governmentcollected statistics”. He also pointed to
“the incentive to hype up the threats
because they [companies like Detica]
stand to gain from investments into
cyber security defence.” While he
applauded the attempt to measure
the scale of cyber crime, Moore
called for a transparency of the entire
methodology and calculations so
decision makers relying on the figures
are not misled.
The report itself recognises its own
fallibility stating, “The proportion
of IP stolen cannot at present
be measured with any degree of
confidence”.
The
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
08| International
Analysis: Days of Rage in the Middle East
In Libya, civil unrest has escalated
dramatically, with the eastern city
of Benghazi now apparently under
the control of protestors. Estimates
of the death toll range from 300 to
1000, surpassing that of both the
Egyptian and Tunisian upheavals.
The response of the regime has been
brutal – helicopter gunships and
artillery units have joined ground
forces in suppressing the uprising.
Protests continue in Tripoli and it is
uncertain how long Colonel Gaddafi, who vowed on Wednesday to
fight to the death, can hang on. In
Benghazi, the Guardian Newspaper
is reporting an army mutiny in support of the protestors and against
mercenaries employed by the regime to crush protests. The Interior Minister, General Abdul Fatah
Younis, has resigned and urged the
army to support the protests. Large
amounts of weaponry and ammunition has been taken by soldiers
supporting the demonstrators to
stop it falling into the hands of
mercenaries. The Libyan delegation
to the UN has offered mixed opinions on their support for Gaddafi,
but all have called for the end of
state-aministered violence. Worries of large-scale killing are being
voiced by analysts. The regime has
ceased broadcasts by international
news networks such as Qatar based
al-Jazeera - this has made develop-
Momentum for
reform has been
building steadily in
Bahrain for at least
twenty years
ments in an already strictly censored country difficult to follow.
In Bahrain, the army has withdrawn from Pearl Square and the
Image: Abode of Chaos
Alex Walsh & Elspeth Carruthers
police have allowed demonstrators
to restart their occupation. Protestors are demanding the resignation
of the Bahraini prime minister,
Khalifa Ibn Sulman Al Khalifa, investigations into the death of two
protestors on 14 February and,
most significantly, greater democratic representation. It is not clear
whether meaningful discussion
between the opposition and the
government is taking place. The
King has ordered the release of several political dissidents and has expressed regret for the deaths. ‘We’re
not Sunnis, we’re not Shi’ites, we’re
Bahrainis!’ is the rallying cry of the
protests, an attempt to achieve unity in a country where sectarian division has caused tension between
the ruling Sunni minority and the
restive Shi’ite majority. Momen-
tum for reform has been building
steadily in the kingdom for at least
twenty years, which manifested in a
popular uprising in 1994.
Egypt continues to defy prediction after the army dissolved
Parliament, suspended the constitution and appointed a ten-man
committee to draft amendments to
the Constitution, which are scheduled to be completed in only ten
days. After the army cleared Tahrir
Square, occupied by protestors
for eighteen days, suspicions were
raised about the sincerity of their
intentions. A new wave of workers’
strikes has begun, so far without
much violence, although the army
has issued a statement warning
them of the economic damage they
may inflict. A clear opposition leader has yet to emerge, although in a
recent development, the Muslim
Brotherhood has announced a plan
to form a political party, departing
from their unofficial and frequently quietist political stance. David
Cameron, while visiting Egypt on
Monday, urged the acting President
Field Marshal Mohammed Hussein
Tantawi to keep his promise of free
elections and reform.
In Yemen, 3,000 marched in the
capital of Sana’a and thousands
more in Ta’iz on the twelfth day of
protests demanding political reform
and the end of President Ali Abdullah Saleh’s 33-year rule. Clashes
broke out in Sana’a’s Tahrir Square
between pro and anti-government
supports. Such demonstrations in
the Arab world’s poorest country
are nothing new, but have taken on
a new significance in the light of
recent events in Tunisia and Egypt;
US-backed Saleh has promised not
to run again in 2013, and has been
holding meetings with opposition
leaders in an effort to placate demonstrators.
The past few days have also seen
a revival of protest in Iran – thousands gathered in Tehran where
they called for an end to Islamic
government and the downfall of the
dictator. The response of the state
Basij militia was swift and brutal,
with tear gas and beatings used to
disperse protesters. Two demonstrators have died and up to 1,500
have
been arrested.
tcs_103x180
19/01/2011 12:04 Page 1
Under repressive regimes largely
backed by the US in the name of
so-called stability, genuine political representation has long been
elusive. Yet recent developments
in Tunisia and Egypt have demonstrated the potential of mass protest
to dislodge even the most tenacious
of dictators. Even so, unambiguous
international pressure on Gadd-
Egypt continues to
defy predictions after
the army dissolved
Parliament
afi has failed to change his stance.
Arab leaders have been shaken by
recent events, with Algerian President Bouteflika promising an end
to the country’s 19-year emergency
law and Syria’s President Assad relaxing internet censorship to allow
YouTube and Facebook in the notoriously restricted republic. So far
both brutality and concession have
failed to dampen the momentum of
protests, a fact which must be worrying leaders throughout the region.
The rapidly changing status quo in
the Middle East has implications
far beyond the countries involved;
a radical reassessment of Western
foreign policy needs to take place
if the West wishes to maintain its
influence and if the aspirations of
those marching in the streets are to
be truly realised.
OCCULT KNOWLEDGE
& TRUTH
An announcement for genuine seekers only
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LIGHT.
Only students who are sincerely interested and
prepared to work with determination and devotion
for many years will be considered. In his
endeavours the Student will find no glamour and
no personal contacts, and ‘mystery-mongers’ and
‘thrill-seekers’ will waste their time making enquiry.
If you REALLY want to study the Ancient Mystery
Teachings in their entirety as never before
revealed, please write to:
Image: Alex Walsh
The bride of “Egypt” torn between the National Democratic jail and her people
IRS, Dalton House,
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London SW19 2RR, UK
www.isohm.com
The
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
Opinion: Burma’s military stronghold
Simon Mee
The generals of the Burmese military
regime must be fans of irony. In
late October last year, the brutal
government of Senior General
Than Shwe adopted a new national
flag of Burma (officially Myanmar)
composed of three coloured stripes
and a white star. The stripes, of
yellow, red, and green, were chosen
for their symbolic evocation of
solidarity, tranquillity, and courage.
Not exactly the words you would
typically associate with a regime
that cruelly suppresses its people at
the slightest hint of dissent.
It is worrying that
the Burmese military
regime has never
looked so secure
Today the flag can be seen hoisted
above the regime’s new rubberstamp
parliament, which opened for its
first session on the 31st January.
The bicameral parliament, safely
located in the enormous capital
of Naypyidaw, lies far from the
troubled streets of Rangoon where
the anti-government protests, more
popularly known as the ‘Saffron
Revolution’, erupted in 2007.
The parliament is the latest act in
the regime’s charade of ‘disciplined
democracy’,
following
the
fraudulent elections last November.
Yet despite the release of Aung
San Suu Kyi, the leader of the prodemocracy opposition, after nearly
twenty years in detention, the
regime remains in firm control over
the country.
Given the refusal of Suu Kyi’s
National League for Democracy
(NLD) to participate in the sham
elections – for to have participated
would have meant implicitly
accepting the legality of the NLD’s
stolen victory in 1990 - both the
upper and lower houses of the
parliament are dominated by
the political wing of the military
regime, the Union Solidarity and
Development Party (USDP).
Should a member of parliament
still have the nerve to ask an
embarrassing question, any query
put forward to the lower house
must first be vetted by the directorgeneral, so as to ensure it does not
potentially undermine the ‘interests’
of the state.
While revolutionary events have
recently swept across the Middle
East and toppled dictatorships,
it is worrying that the Burmese
military regime has never looked so
secure. In a lecture entitled ‘Burma
at the Crossroads: Democracy or
Continued Dictatorship?’, given at
Clare College last Tuesday, Andrew
Heyn, HM British Ambassador
to Burma, said, “I think the main
message I’d like to convey is that
the regime continues to hold a firm
grip on power”.
Speaking to the audience at the
Cambridge University Southeast
Asian Forum’s Lent Keynote
Lecture, the Ambassador referred
to Burma as that “beautiful, if
very troubled country” where the
military regime was “in a master
class of giving the impression of
change, without doing very much”.
“The military ... are probably
feeling as comfortable as they have
felt for a long time”, Mr Heyn said,
“[because] the philosophy that pins
this regime together is security”.
Any dissent, no matter how small, is
immediately crushed. The generals
are all too aware that any leniency
shown could again result in antigovernment demonstrations, such
as those seen in 2007.
Western sanctions
account for little when
money pours in from
the East
While this is all quite true, there
is another reason why the regime
is so content: wealth is flowing
into the country. That Burma held
flawed and fraudulent elections
last November is not in doubt,
but the international community
– particularly the Association of
South East Asian Nations (ASEAN)
and Western nations with energy
interests in Burma – are more than
willing to put up with the fraudulent
poll.
Since Burma’s
admission to
ASEAN
in
1997, the regime
continues
to enjoy the
association’s solid
backing. Foreign
investment
into the mineral
resources
of
Burma is soaring.
At the height of
the protests in
2007, the Indian
oil minister, was in
town to sign oil and
gas contracts.
In 2010 alone,
China invested over
$8 billion in Burma –
largely in oil, gas, and
hydropower ventures.
This figure is about
two-thirds the total of the previous
two decades combined. Western
sanctions, for all their hyperbole,
account for little when money
pours in from the East.
The Burmese regime remains as
entrenched as ever. As Mr Heyn
observed, “if there is going to be
change in Burma, it will have to
come from within Burma ... and
the military will have to be a part of
that change.
“But we need to be careful
about removing sanctions”, the
Ambassador continued, “because
then we also take away the hand
International |09
Image: Oceanaris
of cards Aung San Suu Kyi has to
play”. Referring to top brass in the
regime, Mr Heyn said that “these
guys don’t respect weakness, and
I think concessions [without
reciprocity] would be interpreted
as a sign of weakness”.
Despite the gloomy horizon,
opposition activists still cling to
hope. Given the sudden revolutions
in Tunisia and Egypt, they have
faith that one day they will live in a
Burma where the words ‘solidarity’,
‘peace’ and ‘courage’ mean more
than the symbolism of a corrupt
regime’s national flag.
The
10| Interview
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
INTERVIEWS
Richard Martell, the founder of the infamous
‘Fitfinder’ website, talks to Bryony Clarke about its
inspiration, controversy, and the new version, Floxx
Image: Zoe Strimpel
Richard Martell
Zoe Strimpel
The journalist, author and now ‘Life-Guru’,
talks to Bryony Clarke about her most recent book, What the hell is he thinking?
Can you tell us about about your
recent book; what is it about?
It is an attempt to find out more
about male romantic (or unromantic behaviour) - but from
the horse’s mouth, as it were. I
interviewed a lot of men, a couple of hundred.
I asked them to analyse situations and also to answer a series
of quickfire questions. I tried
to tailor my questions to men I
thought would give interesting
and useful answers.
Would you agree your book
seems to aim to disseminate the
differing attitudes of men and
women, and how they continue
to misundestand each other?
The book is an exercise in gaining knowledge about male behaviours and viewpoints with
a view to helping women enjoy
their love lives (and consequently their lives) more. Men and
women are certainly different
- but perhaps with their ingenuity women can understand men.
Someone will have to write the
converse book if men want to
understand women.
Is the world of dating really ‘a labyrinth’ that we have to navigate as
you describe?
When two people really like
each other and aren’t afraid to
give it a go, it’s not a labyrinth.
But for the whole grey area that
isn’t covered by that situation,
it is, yes. How many times have
you wondered what’s going on
with a guy? I’ll wager it has happened unless you’ve been in a
relationship for years.
Why did you argue that many
men find it harder to get over
their exes than women?
Because men don’t have the
same valve of emotional release
that women do thanks to social
conditioning. They bottle grief
up and it comes out as obsession later. Also, in parting from
a girlfriend, in some ways men
lose more - they lose the one
person they tell everything to
and appear vulnerable in front
of. Women share a lot more with
a lot more people.
What makes you say, ‘once a
cheater, always a cheater?’
Wasn’t me that said it first - but
rather, a guy called Tom and
many others. It’s about the way
they view relationships - those
that think that cheating is fair
game are not going to see things
differently any time soon. Of
course there are instances of
one-off guilty cheating. I’m talking about the guys who act like
it’s the most natural thing inthe
world.
“Men don’t have
the same valve of
emotional release that
women do.”
You said in a recent article that
as you are reaching the end of
your twenties, you are “ready to
be 23 again and do it right”. For
the benefit of the undergraduates
reading this, can you tell us how
to do our twenties ‘right’?
Yes. Drink less, ie don’t make
yourselves so sick so often. If part
of you is unhappy abusing your
body all the time then don’t do
it - this may take some thought
to realise. Also, have more confidence. Assume you’re attractive
and have a lot to offer.
In 2010, as a final year
computer science student at
University College London,
Rich Martell founded a website
called ‘Fitfinder’; a website
which enabled students to
publicly post messages about
attractive people they had
spotted in certain locations.
Fitfinder made headlines for
its controversial content and
Martell was eventually forced
to close the site after continued pressure from UCL,
who claimed he brought the
university into disrepute.
However, upon completing his
degree, and with the financial
support of the former BBC
Dragon, Doug Richard, and
technology investor Kevin
Wall behind him, Martell has
launched a new version of the
site. It is now named Floxx.
How does the Floxx website work?
It¹s really simple. When you see
someone you think is attractive
you can write a flirty comment
on the site in relation to your location, creating a tribe of people
in the same location commenting
and flirting. All you need to do
is register, which takes less than
thirty seconds.
How did you come up with the
idea for Floxx?
My friends and I used to text each
other if we saw attractive girls in
the library at Uni. This became
an integral part of our library revision sessions!
It planted the idea in my head
that these conversations could be
had online, and would get more
people involved in one conversation about a hottie they’d seen on
the tube, for instance. So we created a site called Fitfinder, which
was the predecessor to Floxx.
How quickly did Fitfinder grow?
I created the first site, Fitfinder
overnight and by the end of the
first day it was live and had over
2000 hits. From here the site rapidly expanded across 50 universities, with Fitfinder generating
nearly five million impressions. I
knew the site would have a market, but for it to grow that quickly
was pretty unbelievable.
What advice would you give for future aspiring entrepreneurs?
My first point of advice would be
to enjoy what you are doing and
have genuine passion about your
business idea. If there is no passion, the drive to never give up
won’t be there. And endurance is
definitely a helpful trait! I am very
fortunate to have the expertise of
a world-renowned business advisor, one of the founding Dragons’
Den panellists, Doug Richard, on
board. His knowledge and expert
advice has been integral in driving my business forward. My
advice to those starting-up would
be to get smart, business savvy
individuals involved with your
business from day one.
How is the re-launched version
different from the original?
Floxx has a few differences from
the original Fitfinder site. I have
introduced a members’ sign-up
area so that people can view their
previous posts and history of their
comments on Floxx. There’s also
a whole new look to the website
and now users have the capacity
to post their Floxx comments
on a map. With the introduction
of our new mobile applications,
people will now be able to Floxx
on the go. It¹s clear that users
may want to write a Floxx update
when you are not at a computer,
so it was the logical option. We
realised that accessibility was a
crucial part of developing the
business.
“We relaunched, and
the site received over
1.4 million hits over 10
days.”
What prompted the re-launch of
the site?
The business was boosted by
Doug Richard, who found me on
Twitter, then emailed and posted a
letter to me in the hope of joining
as an investor. It was very quick. I
was told this guy from Dragons’
Den wanted to get in touch, so I
gave him a call. We relaunched
ready for the new academic term,
and the site recieved over 1.4 million hits in 10 days. As for the
name change, FitFinder changed
to Floxx to be relevant to the US.
Over there, ‘fit’ means healthy, so
people might log on looking for
their local gym.
What is the potential for development or expansion of the site?
At this moment in time we are
looking to work on the current
website and concentrate on improving the Floxx site as a business. Predicting the success of
Floxx is impossible, but I want
to concentrate on building a substantial user base on which we
can build upon and then really
push on forward with new ideas.
Why did you want to take it outside Universities?
I wanted to expand the site so
Floxx could be used by a wider
audience. The feedback that I
received showed that there was
a demand for the site outside of
University students, namely with
people from the 21-26 year old
bracket who were heavily interested in the site. My underlying
ambition is to expand my business globally, so I have harnessed
the support of my investors to
make this a reality.
UCL originally closed the site
claiming it brought the university
into disrepute. Do you think this
was a justifiable concern? If not,
why not?
No. I thought UCL closing the
site was a little too harsh as I believe FitFinder did not bring any
disrepute to the University. The
reasons for its closure were based
upon the site being a distraction
to students. I had to close it down
because if I hadn’t it would have
put my degree in jeopardy. It
was frustrating because the website had grown substantially in a
month and had created a lot of interest. I thought that UCL would
have encouraged me to be enterprising. But I always planned to
relaunch when I left Uni.
How would you respond to the
criticism that the idea behind the
site is vaguely shallow, even predatory?
The objective of the site is for
people to have fun. It is a new medium for people to casually flirt
and let other people know when
you see an attractive person. I always thought if my friends and I
could have so much fun texting
each other having spotted a good
looking girl, why not open it up
to everyone to share the enjoyment!
How has the neutrality of the internet made democratic innovation
possible? Are there relatively few
barriers between the initial idea,
and bringing it into fruition?
Within the UK there are few barriers as to what can be posted on
the internet. This is great news
for entrepreneurs with a business
idea, because it means that for
little money, your products and
services can be made immediately accessible to a global audience.
However, being careful and savvy
about content is advisable, and for
that reason we have safeguards in
place on Floxx. For example, we
automatically replace rude words
with funny ones, and ask that all
users of the site are 18 or over.
The
12| Comment
Comment
Is the Cambridge MA unfair?
Yes - it does not reflect
anything more than what’s
already demonstrated by our BA
certificates, says Laura Mayne
By virtue of being a Cambridge
student, six years after matriculation
I will be conferred my MA
degree. There is no further study
or examination required. After
receiving my BA, I can spend my
mornings watching day time TV, my
afternoons reading gossip magazines,
my evenings on Facebook and my
nights clubbing till the early hours,
and I will still be worthy of my MA.
Cambridge University and I may
both know that my MA is merely a
title and does not reflect any further
achievements I may - or may not - have
made but, according to a study bwy
universities watchdog The Quality
Assurance Agency, more than 60% of
employers are completely unaware.
They assume that I, like other worthy
MA holders, have spent nearly £4,500
in tuition fees and my time rigorously
studying. They are deceived into
believing that I am better qualified
than I am, and I have yet another
unfair advantage in the jobs market.
A BA degree from Cambridge University is prestigious enough.
Cambridge University and I may
both defend my honorary distinction
as a reward for the “quality, intensity
and thoroughness of a Cambridge
degree course” (Spokesperson,
University of Cambridge), but
what is my BA degree for then?
Isn’t that meant to certify my three
years of hard work and dedication?
A BA degree from Cambridge
University is prestigious enough. We
do not have to add on the meaningless
MA and appear unnecessarily elitist.
We should not undermine the BA
degrees awarded to other students at
other great universities by pretending
that ours is so superior we deserve the
added honorary title. We should also
not undermine the MA qualification
which other universities award for
application and accomplishment.
If we agree that the Cambridge MA
is just an honorary title and, unlike
the master’s degrees awarded by other
universities, does not reflect (at least)
a year’s hard work, ability or merit,
then it does not reflect anything more
than what’s already demonstrated
by our BA certificates. So what’s the
point of it? It is tradition. It has been
awarded to Cambridge students since
the middle ages, but back then it was
given as a licence to teach after a
seven year course, not as a superficial
honorary crown. The rest of the world
has moved on, times have changed
and with them modern academic
practice and the meaning of the MA
- it’s about time we recognised this.
MP Field may obnoxiously claim that
“other universities should change
their role to take account of the
history of Oxford and Cambridge,”
but I would hope that the majority
of Cambridge students do not
share his abominable arrogance.
The Cambridge MA is meaningless.
It’s unfair and ungrounded elitism
where undeserved advantages are
bestowed upon a select few at the
expense of others. But the Cambridge
MA should not have been what our
government spent its time debating in
parliament the Tuesday before last. It
is relieving to see some MPs like Chris
Leslie still care about a ‘fairer Britain’,
but I want my MP to be writing bills
to fight the cuts in education and
rise in tuition fees. MP Field is right,
Cambridge “should not sit back” and
listen to “government interference”.
Our University, which prides itself
on academic effort and achievement,
should not need telling it that the
‘honorary MA’ needs reforming.
Maybe silver spooned Cambridge
students are content to accept
qualifications they have never had
to work for, but I am certainly not
one of them. I would not want
that blotch of embarrassment
on my CV. Any MA degree I am
rewarded will be rightfully earned.
Laura Mayne is a first year English
student at Churchill College
Notes from the
Overground
Jamie Mathieson
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
Dear Diary,
Seriously, I need to write a column about Labour. So far it’s mostly been Tory-bashing, which everybody loves, apart from Tories, but
they’re soulless creeps anyway…
no. Stop. It’s not classy. Sigh. It’s
been a long week - fifth week and
all that. I’m feeling a fair bit of ennui and anomie and all. Sigh.
But what’s the point? Ed Miliband is just so boring. I may as
well write satire about vegetables I
dislike. Hmmm. I could just write
some smug, self-referential piece
of garbage and pass it off as satire.
2 in 3
employers are unaware that
a Cambridge MA does not
represent any postgraduate
achievement
“Many find it
offensive that we
should award a
degree for doing
nothing more
than being able to
breathe for three
years.”
Dr Neil Dodgson
Speaking at Cambridge University
Senate
Image: Jimmy Appleton
Damn it, I’m doing it already. That
might make me look pretty smug
and conceited though. To be fair, I
am pretty smug and conceited.
Wait a minute. Smug…conceited
…and needing some purpose in
life…maybe I should join the Labour party! I too can be more tiresome than the Michelin Man and
carry a chip on my shoulder bigger
than Chipping Camden. Quick, get
me to the University Labour club!
Actually, it’s the Universities
Labour club, so that Anglia Ruskin
students can benefit from the wise
leadership of their Cantabridgian
betters. CULC proudly declare that
we should join them because they
opposed the oppressive tuition fees
brought in by the last Labour government and the Iraq War that was
No- It is a harmless way to
allow students to continue
the university tradition,
argues Rebecca Jacobs
On the surface, it may seem un-meritocratic. Giving graduates the entitlement to upgrade their degree for
no other reason than the elapsing of
time may seem akin to giving someone a birthday cake on someone else’s
birthday. Some will say it’s unjust,
that it goes against all we stand for in
a society which values conscientiousness, harking back to the days when
Oxbridge places were the reserve of
a wealthy elite. But what does it really
denote, and who does it really affect?
The tradition of the Cambridge
MA is ancient, dating back to the
days when graduates from the university were too young to be awarded
a ‘licence to teach’ straight away. Yet
before this month, the only registered
complaint that has been made regarding it was in 2000, when 58 MPs
called an early day motion demanding its abolition.
There has been no public outcry,
It is not a fact which has
been kept locked up.
no demonstrations or occupations
by students at other universities who
view it as unfair that Cambridge graduates simply acquire an extra title as if
it were an early-bird Cindies ticket. It
is these 200,000 other students who
have attained Masters Qualifications
through extra study and examination
who are seen by MPs to be affected by
the tradition, whose job prospects are
seen to be threatened. And yet, they
have made no complaints.
This may be because they realise
that employers look deeper into their
prospective employees (many of
whom will in fact be straight out of
university and hence not yet entitled
for an automatic MA) than the terminology of their qualifications.
Therefore, the tradition seems
relatively harmless. If it seems that
employers are being beguiled into
believing their candidate has done
an extra year of study, then this says
more about the extent to which they
waged by the last Labour government. It’s not that CULC are turkeys campaigning for Santa. That’s
just evidence of how much better
and purer and better the students
are than the actual politicians, who
totally, evidently care about the
support of students and don’t for a
second take them for granted in the
knowledge that those students are
so tribal and self-conscious they
would never abandon their party
no matter how much they’re kicked
about. No, never. Student politics
can solve my ennui, by making me
feel so much better than everyone
else.
But if feeling superior is my only
interest, I could join any party –
CSLD, or CUCA – anything with
an annoying acronym that breeds
research the qualifications awarded
to their prospective employees than
about the tradition being ‘the best
kept secret in academia.’
It is not a fact which has been kept
locked up, which the universities
are ashamed to publicise - a simple
search into Google or Wikipedia
will tell you the nature of Cambridge
MA status. It steps aside from the
regular university MA as more of a
mark of respect to its graduates and a
continuing of ancient tradition than
something that signifies further examination.
Maybe it even resides as a sign of
congratulation for those Cambridge
graduates who manage to survive a
few years in the real world. It is not
meant to denote examined postgraduate study: the Cambridge MPhil is
the equivalent of this. Perhaps, then,
just as we have academic traditions supervisions, Tripos - which are not
in place at other universities, so we
have a different name for our Master’s qualification.
The Cambridge MA is not unfair:
it resides as a sign of having been
a Cambridge undergraduate, giving graduates the right to remain in
touch with the institution, use its libraries and participate in its elections.
It may be anachronistic, but it is not
un-meritocratic. It does not purport
to acknowledge what Cambridge’s
MPhil does: a year of postgraduate
study. If employers realise this, there
can be no accusation of its unjust nature when removed from the realms
of academia and placed in the world
of work.
We are not given a birthday cake
when it is not our birthday; we are
given a cake, but it comes without the
candles. The Cambridge MA is an
ancient concept different from recent
ideas of what a masters degree should
represent. And if its nature is recognised, it is merely a harmless pair of
initials.
Rebecca Jacobs is an first year English
student at Pembroke College
future leaders. Because having
made up your mind about everything aged 18 is a well-known sign
of a person who’s going places,
because it’s not like it even took
Jesus till his thirties to work out
who he was. And once in that club,
I can change the world! I can go to
drinks parties, and message the Facebook group, and have my photo
taken with backbench MPs who
fancy an ego trip, and do whatever
the party central office asks me to
so that one day I might finally get
to be a special advisor to someone
better looking than me. Win.
There’s power in a union – so
let’s all club together, the smug, superior future leaders of the nation.
Welcome to Cambridge. Welcome
to the middle class.
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
The
CambridgeStudent
Comment |13
Correspondence
Please send your letters to
[email protected]
A right Royal ruckus...
Dear TCS,
Ben Millwood
Downing College
Dear Editors,
Your reporting on the decision of
the university’s plans to ignore the
royal wedding bank holiday was
unduly partisan. The editorial described the event as “the climax of
the social calender for every selfrespecting individual outside the
University’s bounds”, implying that
those who either do not care about
the wedding or indeed are strongly
opposed to the pomp and ceremony, have no “self-respect”.
The hyperbole in the remainder
of the editorial arouses distaste in
those of us who simply care nothing about a royal wedding. You
advocate that students should skip
supervisions and lectures in order
to be a face in a crowd at a wedding
we care nothing for.
As a matter of good practice, it
was disappointing to see that your
main article “University rains on
royal wedding parade” contained
quotes from patriotic students, andfrom the Conservative Association,
but nothing from the large groups
of people who are at least apathetic
about the marriage.
Cambridge University is an academic institution. It is an independent body which sets its own rules,
and is not tied to the government or
state. Its primary purpose is teaching and research, for which it is respected across the globe. There are
many of us who feel that it would
be improper for the University to
encourage students into blind patriotism over learning.
The University should carry on
with its teaching on that day for one
simple reason. Students who want
to go and wave flags in a crowd
and worship figureheads of state
are quite welcome and free to do
so. They can skip supervisions and
make up the work some other time.
But if the university stopped teaching on that day, there would be a
great number of us who could
not care less about the royal wedding, and care far more about the
subjects we study, who would be
left without the teaching we pay
for. It is our purpose, it is the University’s purpose. Patriotism is not
everybody’s purpose.
Luke Bowyer
Selwyn College
A wasted opportunity?
As a student at Lucy Cavendish
College, I was surprised to read
your article entitled ‘Colleges fail to
warn of sex attack risk’ which had
no reference to either my college or
St Edmund’s. Both these colleges are
in closer proximity to the last attack
which took place on Shelly Row
than the other colleges mentioned
in your article. Whilst I can’t speak
on behalf of St Ed’s, I know that my
college has failed to officially notify
students of these events or remind
us to be more cautious with regards
to our personal safety. Given that
Lucy is an all female college which
no longer has 24 night porterage in
a secluded out-of-town location I
think that it is of particular concern
to our students. Whilst I undestand
that the editors may not have had
access to this information before
the article was published I still feel
that this omission is representative
of the general problems of exclusion that graduate colleges at Cambridge face.
Name & Address supplied
Thoughts on student charity...
James Fearnley
I write concerning your coverage of
the University’s refusal to suspend
their academic timetable for the
royal wedding. In particular, your
coverage of the emerging republican viewpoint, the controversy
regarding the extravagance of the
event in hard economic times, and
concerns over the accountability
of an unelected political body. In
particular, the nonexistence of the
above.
Your editorial commanded “every self-respecting individual” – by
which you mean, every monarchist – to lose their chains and rise
up against the oppressor, fighting
the establishment for the right to,
um, celebrate the autocratic head
of state. I suggest someone here is
either a commendably subtle satirist or severely lacking in a sense of
irony.
The article went on to quote Lord
Vader, who found our lack of patriotic spirit disturbing, and the chairman of the Conservative Association, who helpfully clarified that
not only was the event about having
picnics and a three-day weekend, it
was also about delightfully upperclass multiple-barreled names.
The royal family were recently
granted exemption from the Freedom of Information Act, following embarassment when Prince
Charles’ letters to various senior
politicians were unearthed. Our
anti-corruption measures proving a nuisance to the government,
it has them removed. Just one example of the guilt behind the gilt of
our glorious monarchy. Continuing
to take as given the so-called ‘patriotic spirit’ of the general public
– i.e. their unthinking servility to
the Crown – shows a severe lack of
perspective.
To whom it may concern,
ENT
STUODRAGE
ST
Dear Editors,
I was disappointed to read your
interview with Anna Span in last
week’s issue. Seeing her on the front
page I was expecting a controversial and challenging article about
her unusual career in politics and
pornography. In fact the questions
were incredibly bland and shied
away from anything divisive. As
a woman working in an industry
which has long been a matter for
debate among feminists, Anna
Span is an extremely controversial
figure. She has a history of speaking
about her opinions on feminism
and so, I imagine, would have had
interesting comments to make if
she had been asked any interesting
questions. No mention was made
of the role porn plays in contemporary society, concerns over drug
use and STD transmission or sexual exploitation. Instead we got some
giggly questions about 3D porn and
sex toys. I appreciate having a sex
blogger to interview a porn director
might have seemed like a good fit,
but it has come at the cost of running a genuinely insightful article.
Sex@Oxbridge is an engaging and
witty blogger, I just don’t feel the
context was right for her in this
case. I think this was a significant
missed opportunity for TCS.
Jennifer Boon
Trinity Hall
Student Removal & Storage Specialists
A Truly Professional and Reliable Service
[email protected]
www.cambridgevanman.co.uk
Local and UK Wide Man & Van Service Also Available
The
14| Comment
Spoiling thewithBallot
James Burton
A sideways look at the CUSU elections
Nominations for sabbatical positions
opened on Monday to the muted
fanfare of an announcement on the
CUSU website. All week, electoral
hopefuls have been sidling into the
Students’ Union office for a discreet
chat, their eyes shining with a
tiny, mad gleam. After ten days of
hustings, the smiles will glaze and the
gleam will fade. But for now, they are
full of beans.
Presidential candidates now
jockeying for position include
activist Adam Booth, a hard line lefty
from Cambridge Defend Education
who dreams the dream of a world
without cuts. Booth opposes tuition
fees (that’s tuition fees full stop, by
the way, not just the government’s
planned increase), and has repeatedly
suggested Cambridge should refuse
to implement education cuts at all.
What this fit of idealistic pique
misses is that Cambridge has a
charitable duty to balance the books,
and the axe has to fall somewhere.
Booth is convinced Cambridge
Defend Education continues to
command the support it had at the
end of last term. I attended a meeting
of the activist group last night. There
were 13 of them. Draw your own
conclusions.
Rob Mindell is out. So
is Juan de Francisco
Meanwhile, it looks like the real
presidential showdown will be
between Sam Wakeford and Gerard
Tully. Both are at Trinity Hall, so
neither can necessarily rely on the
electoral support of their own college.
Tully is likely to get the Union Society
vote as ex-Vice President, although
he resigned under something of a
cloud last term, reputedly after a
fallout with the charming Juan de
Francisco.
Given that the Union is run by
some twenty petty egotists whose
influence carries little weight
outside the snug four walls of their
increasingly ramshackle club, their
support is hardly a guaranteed ticket
to the top.
Former Jewish Society President
Rob Mindell has made it known he
will not be running for President,
sadly denying us the spectacle of
a strongly pro-Israel candidate
crossing swords with the Trotskyite
Booth in hustings. He apparently met
with Tully last week to offer his tacit
support.
So, I am told, did de Francisco. To
the eternal sadness of those who like
their politics vacuous, Juan the man
has dropped out of the race. There is
still time for him to change his mind –
personally, I hope he does. I could get
another whole column out of Juan’s
exploits alone. On Tuesday night, he
was ejected, shirtless, from Ballare
after a heavy night. His protestations
that a girl had stolen his top cut no ice
with bouncers. A fitting end to a truly
glittering political career.
Tully’s previous electoral track
record – he has stood for JCR
positions on three occasions, and
lost in his two most recent efforts –
has been mentioned in this column
before, and will doubtless be dragged
up in hustings again, and again. His
experience on last year’s Elections
Committee is less well-documented,
but more important than it might
first appear – Tully may not be good
at winning, but he knows how CUSU
elections work.
But what of Wakeford? He is
easily the most experienced of the
candidates. Having done time as
CUSU Education Officer last year,
he is currently Chair of the Students’
Union’s Council, and sits on University
Council with current president Rahul
Mansigani. Wakeford is used to
working at the top level of University
politics; he may sometimes come
across as patronising, and frequently
as Machiavellian, but voters trust
experience, and he has it in spades.
Wakeford may have a lot of
positives, but one CV entry he may
be hoping voters don’t pick up on is
his role as webmaster of Cambridge
University Wine Society.
Established in 1792, the Society
runs expensive black tie dinners
that are hardly an advert for social
inclusivity. Everyone has their vices,
though, and whilst membership may
open Wakeford up to some ribbing
at hustings, it isn’t exactly the barrier
to mainstream success that Mindell’s
past involvement in Israel Society
would have been.
Speaking of unelectable candidates,
the current sabbatical team is
breathing a collective sigh of relief at
the news that campaigning ideologue
Rowan Thomas is no longer the
only candidate for Coordinator. The
Elections Committee knows the
identity of the white knight who has
stepped up as a challenger, but its
members have shown a regrettable
lack of enthusiasm for Spoiling the
Ballot, so the name of CUSU’s saviour
remains a mystery to me.
It looks like Wakeford’s running
mate Morgan Wild will have at least
one challenger for Education Officer,
and both the Access and Welfare
positions have apparently attracted
considerable interest this year, with
four or five people standing for each.
One very likely candidate for the latter
is Faye Rolfe, CUSU Sexual Health
Officer, previous Welfare Officer for
Peterhouse JCR, and current CUSU
Welfare Officer Wild’s protégé since
they worked together last term.
Women’s Officer looks like being
the only uncontested post this year
– after her mention in Spoiling the
Ballot two weeks ago, Feminist Society
President Clare Mohan contacted
The Cambridge Student ruling herself
out of the race – for this year at least.
Tellingly, she said she “would like to
finish my University time in peace
before I start thinking about CUSU,”
so watch this space.
Mohan offered her support to
Ruth Graham, whose election now
looks like a shoe-in. As head of
Cambridge University Amnesty
International, Graham has one of
the most influential Cambridge
societies at her disposal, and has
used it vigorously over the last year
to highlight women’s issues. It now
looks like she won’t need to worry.
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
Sophie
Dundovic
The great thing about cycling, aside
from the obvious health benefits, reduced transport costs and positive
impact on the future of the environment, is the fact that you can choose
whether you want to emulate a pedestrian or a car.
It may make you a few enemies in
the form of other road users and is
probably not good practice; but as a
cyclist you are at the in-between stage
which can be fully exploited.
If the light is red but you want to
turn left then you can just nip round
the corner next to the path as a pedestrian would.
However, if you wish to go straight
on you need not wait at the crossing
but can follow the flow of traffic. This
common practice is not condoned
but may be noted as a frequent occurrence in this city.
No matter which method of transport you favour, it is difficult to ignore the unwritten rule of the road.
Prevalent on motorways and one way
streets alike, be sure to observe it next
time you are out and about; size matters.
Small cars often get
bullied and white vans
are common culprits
The bigger you are the more you
can get away with. Ever wondered
Size Matters
why lorries like to clog up dual carriageways? They don’t need to explain themselves; question them and
you should fear a crushing.
It is not quite as simple as it seems.
In many cases ‘size’ can be determined
by a combination of vehicle size and
ego size. Boy racers and many taxi
drivers are prime examples of this.
On a good day they will rev their
engines, cut you up and unnerve you.
Neither have particularly impressive
vehicles but their egos certainly compensate for this.
Small cars often get bullied and
white vans are common culprits. In
reality the type of car you drive bears
no reflection on your driving ability,
yet this ‘bigger is better’ culture has
spread from fast food outlets to the
motorways.
Cyclists often get bad press, what
with angry motorists suffering from
that all too common ailment we like
to call road rage, complaining about
‘those pesky free riders clogging up
the roads’ while groggy pedestrians struggle to cross over through
streams of bikes.
Granted the two wheeled travellers have a cheeky streak too, but remember that many cyclists also own
a car and choose to commute by bike
rather than contribute to already unbearable levels of congestion on the
roads. They are not only paying road
tax, but in effect they are freeing up
your road, leaving everyone with a
more pleasant journey.
Are the taxi drivers grateful? Evidently not, and nor are the infamous
‘White Van men’. Spatial awareness is
clearly not their forte; happy to inflate
the dimensions of many a thing, they
cannot judge distance accurately.
Intent on clipping your handlebars,
they make you glad you are wearing
a helmet.
Perhaps the ‘bigger
the better’ rule needs
to be questioned
Whether knowingly or not, we all
argue about transport, whether it be
a minor rant about rush hour or a political crisis sparked by an oil shortage.
In the light of recent events, it
seems that perhaps the ‘bigger the
better’ rule needs to be questioned.
The use of smaller vehicles be they
bikes or small cars should be encouraged, since this not only reduces one
carbon footprint but also demand for
oil.
Perhaps a change in the way we
as road users think about transport
would be the start of a move towards
alternative fuel sources and away
from the unrest and upheaval that
our reliance on oil creates. The result?
Calmer roads and the realisation that
bigger is not necessarily better.
bridge
magazine
Equal in the eyes of God? 18-19
The
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
Contents
Past puddings, 17 Can the Church make room for gays and lesbians?
Matthew Topham defends cups, 20
The adventures of Sherlock
18-19
Cameron, 21
How to make the perfect mixtape. 25
Picture of the week
First signs of spring, Trinity by Sebastian Drozdowski
Puzzled
Silence golden at new web café
Matt Lim
Boffin
Plans are in place to introduce a
new chain of internet café, offering
high-speed Wi-Fi and state-of-theart technological equipment to
members of the public who have
come for a coffee. But there is one
twist: talking is prohibited.
The founder of the so-called
‘Social Site’, Fay Spook, revealed
that this had long been a dream of
hers and that the modern-day surge
in social networking had allowed
this dream to come to fruition:
“People used to go out with
their friends and have a leisurely
cup of coffee and talk about their
day. Nowadays, the latter aspect
has evolved into ‘chatting’ via the
internet. So we’ve taken that and
relocated it back to where it started.
That’s the circle of life.”
Asked about the ban on the
physical act of speaking, Spook
replied: “The human voice can be
erratic and upsetting.
“People don’t want to hear that
when they’re trying to have a
conversation.”
She also reminded us that special
isolation booths were available for
those wishing to speak via Skype.
“I have a dream,” she ejaculated
suggestively, “that friends will come
to this place, take out their laptops
as one and just sit and talk to each
other over Facebook. It will be just
like the good old days.”
Pope Ben admits that he’s
“just some confused old guy”
Nicholas Tufnell
Observer of Popery
Front cover, ‘I do’,
by Julia Rampen.
Photo by Devon
Buchanan
16|Contents
In news that has shocked the
Vatican, pope Benedict XVI has
admitted to millions of Catholics
that he is just a confused old aged
pensioner from Germany who got
lost in Italy several years ago whilst
on holiday.
“At first I thought it was funny,
but now I think it’s gone beyond
a joke,” he said. “I miss my wife
and kids, I never believed in God
anyway and I’m not quite sure
where I am anymore.” When asked
to comment, a senior official at the
Vatican said, “Admittedly we didn’t
notice right away, but we became
suspicious when going through
Benedict’s accounts.
No one needs that much blow, not
even his holiness. He was basically
taking the piss.” Pope Benedict
XVI, real name Gunter Harberg,
will be reunited with his family in
the coming weeks before standing
trial at a court in Berlin.
Lent term in...
1881
One Newnham student writes to her
sisters about the vote in Senate House
on 24 Feb 1881 on whether women
should be formally admitted to tripos
examinations.
Hurrah! we have won!... Miss Morrison & I went out and passed down the
street leading past the Senate House
by accident of course! But we met a
number of students doing the same,
wh. was very strange. I counted every
intelligent looking man as a friend.
After a few perambulations we called
on a lady, & missed the éclat of the
great announcement. It was arranged
as follows.
Mrs Sidgwick’s sister Lady Rayleigh was at the Senate House with
her pony carriage & was to drive with
the news at once. But some of the students had another plan. One was to
get the news directly it was out, she
then went to Clare Bridge, waved her
handkerchief to another on King’s
Bridge, who signalled to another on
horse back, and the back of King’s.
She then galopped here at once with
a white handkerchief tied on the end
of her riding whip. Whereupon two
others hoisted a flag on our roof,
the gong was sounded & every one
clapped....
When women get the Degrees (for
this is only the thin end of the wedge)
it will be nothing to this. We all feel
it is the great crisis in the history of
women’s colleges.’
The
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
Salty Beer and Breast Milk
Feature
Isobel Pritchard explores the College Buttery of the past
only allowed on feast days when the
students were also allowed a special
treat - they could read poetry. King
Henry VI forbade dancing, jumping
or other ‘dangerous and improper
games’ in King’s Hall. I wonder how
a bop would have gone down.
Some dietary theorists of the
sixteenth century believed that
the substances closest to human
flesh were most easily digested. As
a result, John Caius (founder of
Gonville and Caius) lived the last
few years of his life off human breast
milk. Yum. Cannibalism was not
generally allowed so most people
tended to make do with meat. And
“
‘this day a feast is given by the Masters and
Fellows to the undergraduates. Very handsome,
and extraordinary good cheer. Turtle soup and
various kinds of fish; venison and other excellent
meats; game and wildfowl of great store; sweets
in the modish French fashion; huge loving-cups
filled with rare and toothsome drinks; liquor of all
kinds, more than enough; quarter caskets of port
and sherry ordered for the occasion; incomparable
good claret and champagne no end.’
“
A
n
expression
of
disappointment and
despair on the face of
the hungry student a common sight in a
college buttery. After a long queue
and a hard day in the library, you
cannot help but be hopeful that
tonight it will be your all time
favourite. Yet, inevitably, it will
be a choice of dry sinewy beef, a
fatty slab of lamb, a veggie cheese
calamity, or the left-overs from
yesterday’s conferencing event. To
comfort you in your misery over
sub-standard and miserly college
grub, let us travel back to the dining
hall of yesteryear. Trust me, it could
have been worse...
At least in the dining hall you can
be pretty much guaranteed a bit of
friendly chat and a large amount of
gossip from the night before. Yet in
the medieval college, conversation
at the table was forbidden and the
Bible read aloud. Students were
often forbidden from staying after
the meal because they were likely to
cause a ‘scandal’. Debagging would
not have gone down well. A fire was
We have roast meat,
dinner and supper,
throughout the week;
and such meat as you
know I had no use to
care for; and that is Veal;
but now I have learnt
to eat it. Sometimes,
nevertheless, we have
boiled meat, with
pottage; and beef and
mutton, which I am
glad of
”
no JCR to rectify the rancid food,
but they certainly celebrated in
style. At the last formal I attended
I was presented with a miserablelooking mushroom and a few
soggy carrots, followed by a glass
of whipped cream adorned with a
lonely raspberry. All washed down
a delightful bottle of £3 vinegar.
Pepys, on the other hand, had a
little more to shout about at the
feast he attended as a Magdalene
undergraduate in the 1650s:
Although turtle soup might now be
a little illegal, the amount of
booze on offer certainly still has
appeal. One thing is for sure, the
”
Cambridge student’s appreciation
of a little (or a lot of) tipple in
the evenings is centuries old.
Most colleges even had their own
brewery and beer was drunk
instead of water, as it was less likely
to cause disease. This was even the
case at breakfast – talk about hair
of the dog. In fact, the seventeenth
century student was quite the lad. A
popular initiation ceremony of the
seventeenth century for freshermen
involved downing copious pints
of salted beer. At Trinity, the lads
enjoyed taunting any disliked
college servant by putting him in
stocks in the college hall. Banter.
lots of it. The vegetarian would not
have fared well. John Strype, a Jesus
College undergraduate, wrote to
his mother in 1662:
The day-to-day food could be
pretty poor, and there was certainly
The seventeenth-century Cambridge Pudding
I stumbled across this recipe in John Murrell’s ‘A New Book of Cookerie’, and so I gave it a go. You will notice
that there are no measurements or timings, so it requires a little bit of guesswork. I boiled mine in water rather
than liquor for about an hour and this was sufficient. The biggest problems came when I tried to photograph my
puddings. They aren’t the most appetising of creations, but taste surprisingly good. As a friend commented, “it
tastes like a moist spotted dick”. Lovely. But if you are usually a fan of the college stodge offered as dessert, then
perhaps this is the one for you.
Searce grated bread through a
cullinder, mince it with Flower,
minst dates, currins, nutmeg,
sinamon and pepper, minst suit,
new milke warme, fine sugar and
egges: take away some of their
whites, work all together.
Illustrations by Daniel Strange
Take halfe the pudding on the
one side, and the other on the
other side and make it round like
a loafe.
Let you liquor boyle, and throw
your pudding in, being tyed in
a faire cloth. When it is boyled
enough cut it in the middest and
so serve it in.
Image by Isobel Pritchard
Then take Butter and put it in
the middest of the pudding, and
other halfe aloft.
The
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
Image: Bill Bradford; Kevin Wong
Features
A
s LBGT history month
draws to a close, a
bit of controversy
wouldn’t go amiss to
keep the momentum
going until the rainbow flag over
Market Square gives its final smiling
flutter. And what better source of
controversy than the relationship
between homosexuality and the
Church? For many people over
the past two thousand years, the
discussion has been a fairly short
one: ‘You’re gay, you say? Will that
be fire, brimstone and the gnashing
of teeth, or just fire and brimstone
today, sir?’ Thankfully, for those
of us who fall into both camps,
in recent years there has been an
increasing attempt to open up a
constructive dialogue between the
love that dare not speak its name
and the Love whose name we know
not how to speak. As with any issue
centred on religion, however, that
dialogue is fraught with unresolved
tensions and volatile opinions, not
to mention outside pressures from
secular human rights movements
which make the Church look like
a draconian institution freshly
emerged from the Dark Ages.
So what’s the problem? If society
is becoming increasingly accepting
and supportive of homosexuals
and their relationships, why can’t
the Church as well? If you ask a
conservative Christian, the chances
are they will point you to a passage
18| Features
GAY BEFORE GOD
Lyndon Webb examines the contentious relationship between
homosexuality and the church
of the Bible which seems to leave
no room for doubt about the role
of gay relationships in Christianity:
“God also gave them up unto vile
affections: for even their women
did change the natural use into
that which is against nature: And
likewise also the men, leaving the
natural use of the woman, burned
which was meet.” (Romans 1: 26-7)
Oh dear. It seems the case is
closed before the defence has
even had time to call their lawyer.
Luckily, in the same letter to the
Romans St. Paul also tells us that,
“if the uncircumcision keep the
righteousness of the law, shall not
his uncircumcision be counted for
its sentiments of love for God and
love for our neighbour actively
shape our actions and relationships.
Accordingly, Saint Thomas Aquinas,
to whom the Church owes a great
deal of its current doctrine, wrote
in his work Summa theologiae
(circa 1265-74): “Because of the
diverse conditions of humans, it
We do not do good simply by thoughtlessly
recounting the Bible word for word, but by
letting its sentiments of love for God and love
for our neighbour actively shape our actions and
relationships.
in their lust one towards another;
men with men working that which is
unseemly, and receiving in themselves
that recompence of their error
circumcision?” (Romans 2: 26). That
is to say, we do not do good simply
by thoughtlessly recounting the
Bible word for word, but by letting
happens that some acts are virtuous
to some people, as appropriate and
suitable to them, while the same
acts are immoral for others, as
inappropriate to them.” Herein lies
our hope of progressive, accepting
dialogue; but the tension between
the written word and the individual
conscience is also the main source
of conflict in the discussion of
homosexuality within the Church.
In 1991, the Church of England
wrote a document called Issues in
Human Sexuality which tries to
address this conflict. Parts of this
document seem to be genuinely
positive, saying of parishes who are
lead by openly homosexual priests:
“a community which cannot accept
such an honourable candour is not
worthy of the name of Christian”. At
the same time, however, there is a
sense of the Church of England’s
monolithic resistance to change,
such as in the discussion of
bisexuality, which ends with the
conclusion that, “counselling will
help the person concerned to discover
the truth of their personality and to
achieve a degree of inner healing”.
No prizes for guessing which sexual
orientation is considered as the
“truth of their personality” here.
The Rev’d Dr. Cally Hammond,
Dean of Gonville and Caius College,
however, points out that “at least
[the Church] is admitting that there
is a conflict, and that being gay is
something the Church needs to
understand, not necessarily dismiss
or condemn... shouting down the
first formal Church body to suggest
dialogue is not the way forward.”
The
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
Features
wonder homosexual practices were
seen as perverted! Similarly, it can
surely come as no surprise that gay
and lesbian people were associated
with clandestine, promiscuous
meetings in dark basements whilst
their relationships were considered
illegal, as they were until the
latter half of the last century.
Only in the last decade have real
role models for open homosexual
relationships begun to emerge in the
It has been for a while. And as it
moves, it is carrying the opinions of
wider society into the future with it.
It’s not just in fashion that we have
an eye for the next trend. However,
the opinions of the Church must
be treated with patience and love
whilst it is working out just how
that change is going to be found.
Cally Hammond, speaking again
from within the Church, believes
“it will be found, because ‘love
within and outside of the Church –
is continue to provide loving and
positive role models for the gay men
and women who will come after us
and show the sceptics out there the
wonderful things we can bring to
any community, religious or secular.
The history of homosexuality
and the Church is a long and at
times troubled one, which only
recently has been brought to the
fore. It is a struggle fought on
both sides by people passionate
about trying to find a place for
the love of God within their
own lives. These people are often
committed
to
understanding
the way people with differing
opinions can help them to develop
their understanding of that love.
After all of the arguments,
theological or otherwise, and after
all of the struggles concerning
how best to progress as a Church,
exhausting and painful as they
are, perhaps we would all benefit
from sitting down together and
asking ourselves: wouldn’t it be
nice if we were simply allowed,
peaceful and loving, just to be?
Any Bible interpretation which is
not consonant with the supreme
principle of love cannot be
correct and must be reformed
bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things’
(1 Corinthians 23:7)” and that
“any Bible interpretation which is
not consonant with the supreme
principle of love cannot be correct
and must be reformed.” If only
all Christians were as open to the
dynamic and unexpected ways in
which that love reveals itself! All
homosexuals can do for now – both
public eye; only more recently still
have same-sex partnerships been
able to act on the desire to make lifelong commitments to one another
and even have families. Surely,
surely these values cannot cause
objection from a Church founded
on the commandment to propagate
love between individuals and form
stable, respectful relationships?
Homosexuality is on the move.
*<:<
,3,*;065:
Image: Lyndon Webb
How long must we wait until that
way forward is found, though? The
Church simply cannot change as
quickly and as definitively as civil
law concerning human rights, for
it must take into consideration
the most intimate fears and
hopes of millions of individuals,
who genuinely believe that such
decisions are matters of life and
death (or perhaps Life and Death).
The Church bears the great
responsibility of caring for, adding
to and passing on the Christian
tradition to future generations
according to God’s will – a confusing,
opaque thing at the best of times.
Whilst that tradition consists
of Truths which Christians see as
eternal and universal, homosexuals
can take hope from the argument
that the way those Truths are
interpreted and expressed must
change according to our specific
historic and social context. We
would do well to remember, for
example, that at the time of Sodom
and Gomorrah – indeed until
the nineteenth century – there
was no concept of homosexuality
as a distinct sexual orientation.
Instead there were vague and
terrifying whisperings of men
doing unspeakable things with one
another and boys selling themselves
at the doors of the temple. No
A monument in Caius chapel from the seventeenth
century commemorating the master, Gostlin, and his
male friend, Dr Legge. The inscription says: ‘Love joined
them living. So may the earth join them in their burial.
Oh Legge, Gostlin’s heart you still have with you’.
*633,.,/<:;05.:
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The
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
Opinion
Insantibridgians by Clementine Beauvais
GRENE
the
R OOM
The Adventures of Sherlock Cameron
One day I was taking tea in my rooms when
Sherlock Cameron strode in.
“You have probably never thought seriously of
Boris Moriarty?” said he.
“Of course not, the man’s like a loveable labrador.”
“Aye, there’s the genius and the wonder of the
thing!” he cried. “That man pervades London,
and no one takes him seriously. That’s what
puts him on a pinnacle in the records of bumbling politicians. I tell you, Clegg, in all seriousness, that if I could beat that man, if I could
free London society of him, I should feel that
my own career had reached its summit, and I
should be prepared to turn to some more placid line in life.”
“Well,” I replied. “A good many students
would rejoice to hear that.”
He ignored this comment and spoke on: “I
could not rest, Clegg, I could not sit quiet in
my chair, if I thought that such a man as Boris
Moriarty were walking the streets of London
unchallenged.”
I thought about this.
“You do know you’re related, don’t
you? He’s an illegitimate descendent of
William IV as well.”
He ignored this remark, so I continued. “Furthermore, Cameron,
two leading politicians cannot be
seen fighting to the death in London. It is just not done in today’s
society.”
“Aha!” he exclaimed. “And this is
where we reach the crux of the matter! This is why, Clegg, we must oppose him in secret! Can you not see
what Boris Moriarty is doing? He is,
as even you must know, a keen bicycler.”
“I fail to see the significance of that.”
“The significance, my dear fellow, is this.
Boris Moriarty intends to build over London a series of bicycle boroughs throughout Greater London. By this means, it is
my belief that he intends to create a ‘bicycle
revolution,’ resulting in an army of bicyclers loyal only to him. They will become
an unstoppable machine, and could take
over much of London.”
Sex@Oxbridge
Named one of the “40 bloggers who really count”
by the Sunday Times Magazine...
“That seems nonsensical.”
“Does it, Clegg?” he asked, turning haunted
eyes onto me. “Imagine, if you will, bicyclists
who decide to ride on the pavements of the
city, who deafen people by ringing their bells.
Or, in the worst case, bicyclists who ride on the
pavements and do not ring their bells.”
“It sounds like Cambridge.”
“With an army like that, Boris Moriarty could
take over London in no time. He would become leader of the Conservative party and
then where would our country be? You know
he does not even take cocaine to clear his
mind? He tried once but it made him sneeze.”
“Well, what do you intend to do?”
“Aha!” he cried, leaping to his feet. “Tonight,
Clegg, you must infiltrate Boris Moriarty’s
house and discover once and for all what his
intentions are. I need proof of this bicyclist
army before I can present my findings to Parliament!”
That night, therefore, I found myself at the
house of Boris Moriarty. Hiding in a cupboard,
I suddenly heard a stealthy step passing down
the hall. I opened my door and peeped out. A
long black shadow was trailing down the corridor. I could merely see the outline, but its wild
hair told me it was Boris.
I waited until he had passed out of sight and
then I followed him, and heard him go into his
sitting room. Peering around the door, I saw
him take out his mobile telephone and make
a call. What I heard made me leave immediately.
Back at my lodgings, I was in bed when I heard
Cameron return and loudly call out for me.
“Clegg, you coward!” he raged. “I need you to
help foil Boris Moriarty’s evil plans!”
“You got it wrong again, Cameron.” I sighed.
“I heard Boris Moriarty making a telephone
call to halve congestion charges. In short,
Cameron, Boris Moriarty cares as much about
cars as he does about being seen to be green.
All he is doing is gaining favour with the common man, something that you yourself ought
to think about.”
After this, Cameron left and I did not hear
from him for a number of days. But that was
not the last we heard of the mysterious Boris
Moriarty...
D
espite the extra hours of light slowly
creeping back into our days, the
recent weather has simply introduced a coldness only remedied by human
flesh to flesh contact. So in the name of survival I’m spending as much time under the
sheets with the boyfriend as possible and I
would suggest you do the same. Whether
you’re committed or not, hopefully the
below can be of some assistance.
Dear Sex at Oxbridge,
My boyfriend introduced me to a female
friend of his who is extremely attractive. I
trust him and know he likes me, but I can’t
help but be jealous. Am I mad?
Dear Green Monster,
It is close to impossible not to feel threatened or territorial when an attractive third
wheel enters your monogamous bliss. Who
would want an attractive girl, whom your
boyfriend clearly likes since he’s friends
with her, hanging around? BUT - whilst
anonymously expressing this angst to me
is fine, in no way should you express said
feelings to your boyfriend. If she was so
great he would be dating her, but he’s not.
He’s dating you.
Expressing jealousy of her only alienates
you from both of them. It’s unlikely you see
something he hasn’t, but he’s clearly more
taken with you so take a deep breath, smile,
and talk to this girl. She clearly has redeeming qualities, so why not make things easier
for everyone (especially yourself) and try
to play nice with this girl. Who knows? You
could even end up with a new friend.
Dear Sex at Oxbridge,
I had a terrifying dream about sex with my
supervisor and now I can’t look him in the
eye.
Dear Perving for a First,
Fit tutor or total uggo? Former - you’re only
human. Latter - see a shrink, psycho. That’s
a whole lot of crazy I don’t even know what
to do with. Do I look like a dream dictionary? Google it.
Dear Sex at Oxbridge,
I haven’t had sex in over a year and I’m
afraid I’ve forgotten how to do it. Any tips
for when I eventually hop back on the obviously metaphorical horse?
Dear Celibate in Cam,
It’s highly doubtful that you’ve forgetten
how to use your nether regions, so calm
down. However, if you are a bloke it’s entirely likely things could come to fruition,
for lack of a better word, prematurely.
There are techniques, I’m told, to prevent
this. Masturbation being the most obvious,
according to my male sources. If you’re a
girl then you really can’t go wrong in the
bedroom, often boys are so excited to see
a naked girl that you could demand he put
on Take That’s “The Flood” on repeat and
he probably wouldn’t protest. “Probably”
being the key word.
Either way, don’t forget about maintenance. Personal hygiene is a must unless
you want it to be another year before you
get laid.
Dear Sex at Oxbridge,
What’s the best form of birth control?
Dear Contraceptively Conscious,
Abstinence. According to my sixth form
teacher at least. Barring that, I am a fan of
Durex condoms. Wrap it before you tap
it, people.
And that’s how SAO sees it.
Problems? Curiosity?
Send them to
[email protected], and
I’ll get back to you at my earliest
convenience.
|21
The
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
Music
News and Reviews
Jamie Smith from The xx
remixes Newsnight theme
Liam Gallagher claims that
Oasis are done. FOREVER.
What we think: Like if Newsnight
was news about space but not as
good as that.
What we think: We haven’t been
this happy since we were born.
Shaun Ryder is ill because he
has a thyroid problem and
has been given the wrong
medicine
What we think: But, Shaun Ryder’s
always ill?
Radiohead album things
have been happening
Amadeus composer John
Strauss dies
What we think: Too many things.
Look them up.
What we think: We are a bit short
on news but condolences to the
family.
MOGWAI
HARDCORE WILL
NEVER DIE, BUT
YOU WILL
RADIOHEAD
THE KING OF LIMBS
★★★☆☆
★★★★☆
(XL, 2011)
(Rock Action Records, 2011)
Download:
How to be a Werewolf
With the band sixteen years and seven studio albums into
their career, it’s fair to say that we know what a new Mogwai
release will sound like - searing guitars, repeating rhythms
and, on most songs, a complete lack of vocals are all par for
the course. That’s not to say that the band have been making
the same record for the best part of the last two decades;
every successive album has seen the group tweak and adjust
their formula, giving each one its own distinctive sound.
This latest offering sees them using more electronic
instrumentation than most previous efforts, as well as
utilising the keyboard more often than might be expected
of a group like Mogwai. Case in point is ‘Mexican
Grand Prix’, which is driven by a high-tempo krautrockesque pulse, but unfortunately includes superfluous
vocoder-treated vocals that fail to sit well with the track.
The rest of the album fares better, with ‘How To Be
A Werewolf ’ in particular soaring as beautifully as
anything they’ve ever done. Other highlights include
slow lament ‘Letters To The Metro’ and ‘George Square
Thatcher Death Party’, which recalls the lofty tones
of Young Team’s ‘Mogwai Fear Satan’, and serves as a
more appropriate home for those computerised vocals.
The rest is standard fare : solid post-rock played by men with
their guitar pedals set to ‘epic’. Hardcore Will Never Die, But
You Will probably won’t win the band many new fans, but it will
almost certainly satisfy those they already have. George Bate
Download:
Lotus Flower
Radiohead certainly know how to release an album. The King of
Limbs was announced just a week before being made available
and even then it hit the Internet a day earlier than expected.
And this more or less sums up Radiohead’s attitude these
days; they’ll do what they want, and they’ll get away with it.
Early listens all yield the same comments: it’s experimental,
indirect, and, as is Radiohead’s way, makes for challenging
listening. To an extent, they’re right. The King of Limbs
offers very little in the way of clean, hook-laden tunes as did
its predecessor In Rainbows. Compared to the IR opener
‘15 Step’, TKOL’s first track ‘Bloom’ is a glitchy, choppedup mess. But alongside aggressive electronica (‘Feral’), the
band melds beautiful burbling guitars (‘Little by Little’) and
raw folk melodies (‘Giving up the Ghost’.) The first half of
the record offers the experimental, with less in the way of
melody or traditional structure. The relative chaos leaves us
desperate for the quiet comfort of the second half - the four
tracks that suit Radiohead down to the ground - yearning,
but full of the human emotion left over from In Rainbows.
Radiohead have always recorded boldly, producing
material that nobody wants or expects and the world sits
up and pays attention, and this album is no exception.
They’re meticulous and it shows. Radiohead have
once again pushed their fan base into new territory
and, once again, listeners are left to adjust their own
perceptions of the band’s body of music. Rhys Cater
PJ HARVEY
LET ENGLAND SHAKE
(Island, 2011)
★★★★★
Download:
The Last Living Rose
PJ Harvey. PJ fucking Harvey. You don’t seem
to be able to do any wrong. How do you do it?
From the outset, this is a different Harvey. But not totally
different. The dreamy guitars are still here, as well as her
famous howl, albeit a little more restrained, making it
perfect for any occasion. ‘The words that maketh murder’,
for example, has a great swinging melody that would work
as much for white noise as it would when turned to eleven.
But! When I first listened to the album, I must confess
that it was difficult to see where all these five star reviews
were coming from. I mean, it was good, but was it five stars
good? I am now willing to accept that past-me was a faithless
knob. This album really is amazing. Everything here takes
the right turns and is catchy, without leaving you even a
bit unfulfilled. The only people who won’t like Let England
Shake are people who like misery and hate all things good.
Nobody wants to be that person, so sort it out. Listening to
Let England Shake is (much like its predecessors) a slightly
scary experience. You get all nervy because you like Harvey’s
current incarnation and it’s difficult to see how she could top
it, but you know she will move on so you can’t help but fear
that the next incarnation will be a bit crap in comparison.
Like a lover who you adore but don’t quite trust. Well,
here’s what I say to that. Harvey can change, and when she
always does it for the better, why do we care whether she’s
the woman we married or not? Rosie Howard-Williams
Classic Album
The Jesus and Mary Chain: Psychocandy
P
sychocandy is utterly
schizophrenic.
One moment it’s
sweet and simple,
inviting the listener
in. The next it’s
sullen, angry and withdrawn.
It doesn’t know what it wants.
As a result, the album is an
unpredictable mess of sound where
honey-soaked melodies are thrown
into a whirlwind of static noise.
Remember that scene in The
Wizard of Oz where Dorothy is
trapped in a house swept up into the
air by a tornado? It’s pure chaos and
shit is flying everywhere, but by the
time the storm is over everything
suddenly seems a bit more colourful.
That’s listening to Psychocandy
pretty much summed up. Released
in November 1985, The Jesus and
Mary Chain’s debut announced to
the world the arrival of two young
22| Music
brothers from Glasgow, Jim and
William Reid. But loud, aggressive,
and above all pissed-off, Psychocandy
was also a total ‘fuck you’ before the
world even went in for the handshake.
The album’s opener, ‘Just Like
Honey’, is soft and alluring; any
guitar distortion is carefully tamed
as it sails along a wave of beautiful
sound. Lead singer Jim Reid exudes
nonchalance as he slowly sings,
“Listen to the girl/ As she takes on
half the world/ Moving up and so
alive/ In her honey-dripping beehive”.
But then ‘The Living End’ begins
and the honeymoon is over. The song
slams you to the ground with squalls of
guitar noise, while primitive, almost
primal, drums pound all over you.
The same can be said for rest of the
album, particularly the razor-sharp
‘In a Hole’. The Mary Chain took Phil
Spector’s Wall of Sound and beat the
shit out of it, in an effort to – as Reid
once famously quipped - capture the
‘sound’ of dropping acid.Psychocandy
is rightly considered one of the best
records of the 1980s, going on to
influence such bands as My Bloody
Valentine and The Raveonettes.
But it also meant that The Mary
Chain would eventually become
victims of their own success.
Subsequent efforts, such as the sparse
terrain set out in Darklands and the
more acoustic sound of Stoned and
Dethroned, tried to escape the tall
shadow set by the band’s powerful
debut. But whilst these were strong
albums in their own right, The
Mary Chain lost the magic that
separated them from the rest.
The band was at its best when it
created an almost impossible balance
of visceral noise and sugary-sweet
pop. In 1985, Psychocandy would
give new meaning to the words
‘bitter-sweet’.
Simon Mee
Illustration: Dominic McKenzie
The
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
All photos: Supernative
Music
Guide to: Mixtapes
Simon Mee looks at the subtle art of making the perfect mixtape
I
admit it’s taken me a while, but
I finally got around to seeing
High Fidelity for the first time
last week.
Based on the novel by Nick
Hornby, the film centres on Rob Gordon (played by John Cusack), a music fanatic who owns a failing record
store.
Throughout the film Gordon
struggles to comprehend preciselwhy his girlfriend dumped him; cue
a genuinely funny comedy-drama
that’s quirky as fuck.
Towards the end of the flick, however, there was a memorable scene
that got me thinking. It was Gordon’s
take on the ‘art’ of making a mixtape.
Kitted out with a pen, a wad of yellow A4 paper, CDs everywhere, and
his headphones blaring, Gordon tells
us that “the making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art. Many
dos and don’ts. First of all, you’re using someone else’s poetry to express
how you feel. This is a delicate thing.
So for this one I’m thinking... I’m
thinking...” - and then he flips out
with frustration. I laughed because
Gordon nailed it; for a music fanatic,
making a great mixtape is fucking
hard.
Okay, so the cassette might be long
gone, but we still have CDs and playlists on iTunes to mess around with.
Back when I was at school I made
the start of your mix is a death sentence. But once you’ve sucked the
listener in, you can do what the hell
you like; throwing in Bob Dylan’s ‘It’s
Alright Ma (I’m Only Bleeding)’, for
example, is a perfect way to fuck with
their heads.
With each mix you were always
trying to express something. What
“the making of a good compilation
tape is a very subtle art...”
countless CD mixes. Some were for
friends; the others were for girls that I
had completely fallen for.
What made for a great mixtape?
You always had to start off with a
bang, something that turned heads
- otherwise you risked boring the listener to bits.
I mean, being into Pink Floyd is
cool and all, but sticking one of their
twelve minute long piss-arounds at
songs (or song-titles) would you
carefully choose? Was there a wonderful lyric you hoped the girl would
latch onto when she listened to the
compilation?
Mixtapes were great because musicians always said it better than the shy
teenager; they had a knack for catching just how you felt. Maybe this is
because they themselves grew up with
the very same awkward shyness that
you went through. Perhaps it takes
the distance of time and space to distil all that they wished theycould’ve,
would’ve, should’ve said to their first
love to create a truly excellent song;
reworking conversations in their
heads – perhaps conversations they
may have longed to have happened,
but never actually did.
Because like that perfect conversation, a good mixtape is finely paced,
takes interesting turns and ends exactly how you’d like it to finish.
It’s a proxy means of saying what
you really feel, minus the blushes and
embarrassing tongue-tied moments.
Has anyone ever made you a mixtape in the past?
Go back to it and figure it out.
They may no longer be in your life,
but perhaps now there’ll be a lyric
you’ll latch onto given what has since
transpired.
Perhaps now that person will finally get to express what they could’ve,
would’ve, should’ve said to you when
they had the chance.
INFORMATION SYSTEMS
AND INNOVATION GROUP
Department of Management
MSc in Management, Information Systems and Innovation (MISI)
MISI combines established knowledge on management and IS with the critical study of
emerging domains of innovation, exploiting the internet.
MISI is a full-time 12 month programme where you will study a unique combination
of managerial and technical issues associated with information systems and
innovation.
MISI draws on international research expertise in a range of management and
information systems fields, including e-Business, e-Government, Strategy,
Information Services, Innovation, Outsourcing, Security and Global Development.
MISI includes taught modules, seminars and individual research. Our students
benefit from the truly international environment of the LSE, world class social
science expertise and high profile visiting speakers.
We seek top graduates from a range of disciplines; engineering, social and physical
sciences, as well humanities
MISI students gain professional skills and will take up positions in corporate and
government management, advisory and analyst functions; and in IT departments,
It consultancies and IT supplier firms worldwide.
For more information on MSc MISI visit the ISIG website: www.is.lse.ac.uk
or if you have any general enquiries please contact us at: [email protected]
Photo: cassettes (Flickr)
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
Best Adapted Screenplay
The Original Screenplay category,
however, is looking far more
uncertain. Another Year and The
Fighter seem to be the outside
contenders and The Kids Are All
Right may get a look in, but the fight
is likely to be between The King’s
Speech and Inception. The former
has received a great amount of
goodwill in the States, but an award
for Inception could prove to be a
consolation prize for Christopher
Nolan after he was denied a Best
Director nomination. RP
Best Supporting Actress
Depending on how far widespread
the appreciation for The King’s
Speech goes, Helena Bonham
Carter could be your best bet here,
but with nods for both Amy Adams
Reviews
INSIDE JOB
Charles Ferguson
12A
120 mins
and Melissa Leo from The Fighter,
either of them could be likely.
Unfortunately, Hailee Steinfeld has
only an outside chance for her turn
in True Grit due to her age, even
though she was more of a lead than
support. Jacki Weaver from Animal
Kingdom is the real longshot here
though. Dominic Preston
Best Supporting Actor
As usual, this category is filled
with lead actors masquerading as
support - Geoffrey Rush is hardly
off the screen in The King’s Speech,
and Mark Ruffalo hardly has a bitpart in The Kids Are All Right. Either
way, Christian Bale has a good shot
here for The Fighter, while John
Hawkes and Jeremy Renner are
both decidedly outside contenders.
DP
When there’s a pivotal historical event,
there is usually a significant time lapse
before the great films start coming.
As Warwick film professor Edward
★★★★☆
Gallafent pointed out, ‘You couldn’t
have made Apocalypse Now in 1972’. Certainly, the titan
Hollywood dramas about the global financial crisis have yet
to arrive. Wall Street 2 was hardly a masterwork, and in any
case it was in development long before the crisis. In the realm
of the film documentary, however, chronological proximity
is no obstacle. In Inside Job, the Great Recession has its
Apocalypse Now.
Reading a summary of Inside Job, you would very reasonably
expect a tedious, dry affair: an endless cavalcade of talking
heads and more graphs than a Ross Perot speech. What we
actually have is a film more shocking than Eraserhead, more
compelling than the heist movies the documentary’s title
evokes. Indeed, a heist movie is what Inside Job is: it explores
how several conspirators – Wall Street, lobbyists and, most
interestingly, academics – pulled off a huge-scale act of
underhand thievery. Watching the moral putrefaction on
display, one recalls a quote erroneously attributed to Dorothy
Parker: ‘If you want to know what God thinks of money, just
look at the people he gave it to.’ Daniel Janes
24| Film
Photo: Sony Pictures Releasing/Picselect
Best Original Screenplay
Photo: Davidlohr Bueso/Flickr
In the Adapted Screenplay category,
the front-runner appears to be
Aaron Sorkin’s sharp, fast-paced
script for The Social Network, which
has already triumphed at several
major award ceremonies. A firsttime nominee, Sorkin’s greatest
competition is arguably either True
Grit from multi-Oscar winners Joel
and Ethan Coen or 127 Hours. The
category is rounded off by Toy Story
3 and Winter’s Bone, both welcome
nominations but unlikely to win.
Rebecca Pearce
PAUL
Best Actress
The Best Actress race hasn’t invited
much attention this year, perhaps
due to the dominance of male leads
in most of the big films. Natalie
Portman is the obvious candidate
for Black Swan, and my guess is
that this will be the film’s only
major victory. Common (if slightly
depressing) wisdom says Jennifer
Lawrence is too young for it,
despite the praise for Winter’s Bone;
while Annette Bening might be too
old. Nicole Kidman and Michelle
Williams have a shot, though. DP
Best Actor
The fact that Colin Firth is inevitably
going to win Best Actor brings to
mind Robert Downey Jr’s comment
in Tropic Thunder: that as long as
Greg Mottola
15
104 mins
Best Director
Last year, Kathryn Bigelow made
history as the first woman to win an
Oscar in this category with The Hurt
Locker. No sign of any ladies on the
nominations list this year thougharty Darren Aronofsky stands a
chance with Black Swan, and David
O’ Russell has received a nod for The
Fighter. Having previously won for
No Country For Old Men in 2008,
the Coens are once again up the
award with True Grit. However, the
real ones to watch are David Fincher
and Tom Hooper. In contrast to
the Best Picture, Fincher’s The
Social Network may triumph over
The King’s Speech thanks to having
a veteran director at its helm.
Florence Smith Nicholls
Best Picture
This is the one you’ve all been
waiting for - but which film will win
the biggest accolade? Heavyweight
contenders include our very own The
King’s Speech (leading with twelve
nominations), True Grit, Facebook
biopic The Social Network and
Photo: Universal Pictures UK/Image.net
Ahead of the big day, TCS assesses the movers and shakers
Let’s face it: Simon Pegg and Nick Frost
are a match made in heaven, and with
Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz in
their
back catalogue, they should be
★★★☆☆
pretty confident in their comedy genius.
Confident enough, in fact, to consummate their bromance
with the bold move of teaming up for the first time to write
their own screenplay. It’s a completely new dynamic, but
unfortunately, Paul doesn’t live up to the reputation of its
predecessors.
Paul tells the story of Graham and Clive, two obscenely
geeky Comic-Con nerds travelling across the States in the
search for extraterrestrial life. It’s not long before they come
across Paul – the weed-smoking, booze-drinking alien voiced
somewhat predictably by Seth Rogen. It’s a wonderful cast,
with a range of British and American talent – but the problem
is, it just isn’t that funny.
The script is, at times, remarkably clever, poking incessant
fun at the generic conventions of sci-fi. But for the most part,
its over-the-top crudities are just a bit too much, and the
pair’s characteristic British humour is somewhat muddied
and commercialised by its foray into America. It’s fun, but
it’s bland: when we know what these guys have previously
achieved, it just doesn’t come up to scratch. Jess Stewart
Trailer Watch
Thor
Photo: Paramount Pictures
And the Oscar goes to...
you don’t go ‘full retard’, the Oscar
is yours. A stammer is just the right
level of impairment: it allows you to
demonstrate your acting prowess,
but does not verge on histrionic
self-parody. Arguably the Scent of
a Woman principle is at work here:
Colin Firth’s performance in A Single
Man was miles better, but now the
opportunity has come to reward the
man. Both Jesse Eisenberg’s remote
Mark Zuckerberg and, above all,
James Franco’s mesmerising Aron
Ralston are far more worthy, but
Firth is unstoppable. Daniel Janes
Chris Hemsworth plays the
Marvel version of the Norse god,
with Anthony Hopkins & Natalie
Portman hanging around. Expect
two hours of a big beardy man
hitting things with a hammer.
Not homoerotic at all then.
YouTube: ‘Thor Trailer 2’
11-11-11
Photo: Epic Pictures
Film
The latest in a long and not-sodistinguished line of what I like to
call ‘number horror’, 11-11-11 deals
with, you guessed it, the number
11. Apparently people are seeing it
everywhere. And that’s bad, maybe?
Made for the novelty release date.
YouTube: ‘11-11-11 Teaser Trailer’
disturbing beauty Black Swan. Plus
there are indie films Winter’s Bone
and The Kids Are All Right. Oh, and
let’s not forget the epic Toy Story 3.
And even more besides, since there
are ten nominees for the category
these days. It seems like The King’s
Speech will get the crowning glory
as the overall favourite, but after
winning four golden globes, The
Social Network might overcome the
odds. Only time will tell. FSN
JUSTIN BIEBER: NEVER SAY NEVER
Jon Chu
Justin Bieber: Never Say Never is a brilliantly
U
crafted drama set in an alternative reality
80 mins
in which a hysterical culture is on the verge
of a mental breakdown as we follow teen ★★★★☆
sensation Justin Bieber on tour. Though
seemingly light-hearted, the film takes a bold and disturbing
turn when we are introduced to Bieber’s fans. In shocking
detail the film portrays the sexualisation of youth as the bulk
of Bieber’s audience consists of horny under-ten-year-olds,
providing a grotesque parody of youthful innocence which
echoes Bieber’s own lost childhood.
The actor who portrays the naïve but ultimately doomed
Bieber is terrific, carefully conveying the tragic dilemma of
a superstar too young to realise his isolation from friends,
family and reality itself. Much less convincing is Scott Braun
as Bieber’s manager. Supposedly a stand-in father figure,
Braun lacks warmth and affection and lets down a tight script
that strives to establish a relationship between the two.
The film is an intelligent satire on celebrity-driven society,
though marred by hyperbolic tendencies which undermine
the film’s realism. Nonetheless the depiction of the
psychologically trapped Bieber is fascinating, aptly leading
to a twist ending in which Bieber admits his homosexuality.
Will he survive? Matty Bradley
Photo: Paramount Pictures UK/Image.net
The
The
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
What I’m missing on...
CambridgeStudent
Being Human
Photo: BBC
Florence Smith Nicholls extols BBC3’s supernatural comedy drama
N
ot everything about
being human is nice.’
So says werewolf
George in what can
quite reasonably be called the most
successful BBC3 series of all time. If
you’ve seen any of this supernatural
drama, I’m willing to bet that you
won’t have forgotten it easily. If
you haven’t - where have you been?
Put away your presuppositions,
because this isn’t your clichéd
Twilight wannabe.
A brief synopsis: Being Human
is about a trio in their twenties
who just so happen to be a
vampire, a werewolf and a ghost.
United by their mutual oddball
status, they end up sharing a
house together in Bristol whilst
attempting to lead normal lives.
Of course, this doesn’t go to plan,
but it wouldn’t be any fun if it did.
The real charm of the series is the
fact that creator and writer Toby
Whithouse has fashioned three
main protagonists who are not
only believable but compelling
to watch. The aforementioned
George is a neurotic who must
surrender to the full moon;
vampire Mitchell is enslaved to
his bloodlust; and Annie the ghost
is barely there, an agoraphobic
afraid to leave the house in
which she died. It becomes clear
that their supernatural afflictions
are metaphors for humanity’s
own contemporary issues. Never
shying away from scenes of terror
or tenderness, Being Human is far
Television
from a shallow exploitation of the
supernatural genre.
Aidan Turner cuts
quite a dash as a
member of the
undead
2009 may have been the year
of the vampires, but the show
predates the fad for fangs. The pilot
was originally aired in February
2008, with a full series being
commissioned by the BBC thanks
to an online petition, spearheaded
by Narin Bahar of the Reading
Chronicle. Thus, Being Human had
cult status from the beginning. The
parts of Mitchell and Annie were
recast, which proves to have formed
a successful combination, especially
in the case of the former characterAidan Turner cuts quite a dash as a
member of the undead…
Teething problems aside, Being
Human covers a multitude of sins
in a thoroughly enjoyable fashion.
It’s a dog’s life for George, but
he eventually finds a soul mate
in the form of girlfriend Nina.
Annie discovers the terrible truth
about her own demise, and then
is antagonised by mixed feelings
about closing the door on the
mortal world. As for Mitchell,
he’s got a back story to die for. He
was turned as a soldier during
the First World War, and in series
two we are treated to a brilliantly
shot flashback of his first warped
experience of love in the 1960s,
which parallels his situation in the
present day. Inventive interludes
like this, plus wonderfully
disconcerting antagonists like the
edgy but vulnerable vampire leader
Herrick, will keep you gripped
from beginning to end.
2009 was the year
of the vampire, but
the show predates
the fad for fangs
Whilst the second series was
significantly darker in tone than the
first, the third sees the trio make a
brand new start on Barry Island.
The format looks set to endure, and
proof of its attraction is in the fact
that a US remake aired last month.
Go on, watch it, and remember
these words that Annie says in this
year’s season premiere: ‘Humanity
isn’t a species. It’s a state of mind.’
Being Human doesn’t just have
bite. It has something to say for
itself.
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The
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
Theatre
Preview: The Mexican Stand-Off
P
ierre Novellie, Jonny
Lennard and Ali Lewis
are together the comedy
group Outside Joke.
This weekend (Sun 27th
Feb-Tues 1st March) sees them
hit Newnham Old Labs with ‘The
Mexican Standoff ’, a comedy
show which mixes filmed and
live sketches. The idea came from
wanting more freedom to write
than the Cambridge comedy scene
gives. College shows are better
suited to stand up, and the ADC
smokers only give each performer
three minutes.
Between them, the boys have
covered all the available smokers
in Cambridge numerous times,
and they wanted to try something
different. Then along came the show.
The reality proved more difficult
and more of a time commitment
than expected. ‘Coming up with
ideas is easy; it’s translating them
into complete sketches which is the
hard bit’. All three comedians have
very different styles and brought
different things to the trio. Pierre
has acting experience and brings an
element of surrealism; Jonny brings
a darker edge and with editing
experience was invaluable when it
came to the filmed sketches; oneliner fan Ali brought skilful joke
construction and can make a pun
out of most things. The name ‘The
Mexican Standoff ’ came after a long
series of debates and vetoes over
what to call it. In the end it was the
only name they could all agree on
and lent itself to a more interesting
than usual publicity campaign.
‘TheMexican InCambridge’ was
created, and this persona, replete
with Facebook profile, videos and
mugshots make himself known
around town, before the final reveal
came along. The boys say that they
The idea came
from wanting more
freedom to write
than the Cambridge
comedy scene
gives.
wrote the show that they wanted
to write, regardless of what they
thought they ‘should’ be writing.
“We wrote the kind of comedy
we love, not just what we thought
would go down well in Cambridge”.
The show is darker and more
twisted than your average show,
filling what they saw as a gap in the
market. The audience will laugh
“because they think they shouldn’t”
and The Mexican himself might
just make an appearance, if he can
fit it into his busy schedule.
The Mexican Stand-Off will
be performed at Newnham Old
Labs, from Sunday 27th Feb until
Tuesday 1st March.
Jacques and His Master
T
his magic phrase from
Milan Kundera's The
Unbearable Lightness
of Being: ‘Love begins
with a metaphor... love
begins at the point when a woman
enters her first word into our
poetic memory.' Reading it feels
a bit like sneakily flicking several
pages ahead of your secret diary,
as if you mistakenly stumbled
upon the concept before having
lived the actual experience. In this
way, the very act of reading might
be a metaphor for love: the very
moment when Kundera enters his
first words into our poetic memory.
If that was too nebulous, maybe
this one will help the lovesick:
'Loves are like empires: when the
idea they are founded on crumbles,
they, too, fade away.' And so
we discover, love is a metaphor,
a device that weaves a thread
between the real and the tangible,
and the imaginary. The metaphor
might, with time, become an idea.
Milan Kundera writes novels of
relative truths, in which an idea is
never fully teased into a fact. The
lack of certainties, the fate of the
characters always hanging on a
phrase, a coincidence, a comma in
a lover's letter, have charmed many
of us, and make them particularly
intriguing for people who come to
them for the first time. But he is
also concerned with the telling of
stories and the problems that they
can bring, encapsulated in his only
play Jacques and his Master, a witty
26| Theatre
variation on a story by Denis Diderot,
the French Enlightenment writer.
Most people assume that Milan
Kundera is dead; but he is alive and
well, only three and a quarter hours
away from Cambridge station,
in Paris. As a Czech intellectual
threatened and censored by the
Communist régime that ended in
1989, he has lived in exile in France
since 1975. The dislocation caused
by his political exile dominates
Kundera’s writing. In Jacques and
His Master, Kundera uses it to
ask questions of fate; he invites us
to question the extent to which
we can influence our destiny, or
whether human fate is just ‘written
in the stars’, beyond our control
or comprehension. Jacques is
therefore one of Kundera's most
important texts, and yet has
rarely been performed in English.
This week, the late show at
the ADC will be Jacques and
His Master. Under experienced
directors Francesca Warner and
Amrou Al-Kadhi, you will be taken
on a journey where nothing is quite
as it seems. An talented cast of
actors combine an innovative set
and an original score to portray
the full complexity of Kundera’s
work. Frequently funny, often sad,
occasionally poignant, Jacques
and His Master asks questions
that haunt all of us, even if we
have never asked them before.
Jacques and His Master runs
from 23rd to 26th February
at the ADC Theatre at 11pm.
★★★★☆
ADC Mainshow 7.45pm
Until Saturday 26th February
M
oney, money, money,
ain’t it funny, in a
rich man’s world?”
What ABBA, Joanna
Lumley, the majority
of the coalition government,
Laura Wade, and members of the
Facebook group “on a scale of one
to Trinity how big is your ego?”,
all have in common, is that they
know one doesn’t have to be POSH
to be privileged, but it certainly
helps. In only its second run since
its critically acclaimed debut in
London last summer, Laura Wade’s
play about the seedy side of secret,
élite boys clubs opened on Tuesday
to a packed audience of people
intrigued to find out how the other
half really live.
From the outset it is clear that
although they may look like us, and
even study alongside us, ‘they’ do
not live in ‘our’ world. Jess Lane’s
brilliant and highly believable
set draws us into a world of ‘gap
yah’ accents, daddy’s credit cards,
and double-barrelled surnames
(excluding my own, obviously).
Where money talks, and doesn’t
have particularly nice things to say
about anyone. In fact, a word of
warning for the conservative (with
a small ‘c’ - some of those with a big
one may find watching the stage
like looking into a mirror), easily
offended, and asthmatic among
you, POSH is not for a play for
delicate lungs or ears. In between
puffs of real cigarettes that had
members of both the audience and
cast coughing, every imaginable
‘inferior’ group comes under a string
of impeccably crude, obnoxious
and profane judgements.
Nothing and no one, including
Northerners, Greeks, women, poor
people, non-Oxbridge students, the
middle classes, and chicken kievs,
are safe from the snobbish disdain
of the ‘Riot Club’ boys. For future
politicians, these boys are anything
but politically correct.
However, for all of their intolerable
obnoxiousness, you would have
to be the next Mary Whitehouse
not to be even slightly charmed
and amused by their outrageous
antics. Matt Kilroy is wonderful
as the loveable bumbling buffoon
George, whilst Luka Krsljanin is
privilege disappeared reputations
and future careers were worryingly
placed on the line.
The play couldn’t be more topical
or relevant, particularly to those of
us in the Oxbridge bubble, if it tried.
Anyone who has ever wondered
what ‘Dave’ and Boris really got up
to in their days in the Bullingdon
Club, or if there is any truth to
the rumours of Cambridge’s very
own Pitt Club carelessly smashing
up restaurants, now need look no
further than the ADC for their
answers. And yet the issues it raises
- of elitism, class and privilege - are
as old as time itself.
If I was to nitpick (and you
know I’m going to), it would be to
say that at almost two hours, the
first act dragged on for slightly too
long, whilst the final scene in act
POSH helpfully shows you all the things
you could do, if you had a little money...
every inch the charming posh
playboy. George Johnston is eerily
believable as the highly prejudiced
sacrificial lamb Alistair, and
Archie Preston deserves special
mention for bringing real depth
and vulnerability to the character
of Hugo, who is arguably the most
interesting, and frustratingly underused, character of the group.
It is testament to the extremely
talented cast’s engagement with
the audience that raucous laughter
turned into sobering silence
following a dramatic turn of events
which saw the boys’ motto of ‘one
for all’, collapse into ‘every man for
himself ’. When the safety net of
two felt like it was trying a bit too
hard to make a cynical political
statement when it really didn’t
need to. Inevitably, POSH couldn’t
be any more political if it hit you
over the head with a ballot box.
But these are only minor flaws in
an otherwise brilliant production
which entertained as much as it
unsettled.
For those of us who are unlikely
ever to make it into a real life
secret society (despite the doublebarrelled surname), POSH helpfully
shows you all the things you could
do, if you had a little money...
Aurien Compton-Joseph
Interested in writing reviews of your favourite plays?
Get in touch: [email protected]
The
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
Theatre
Review: Ballet Black
★★★☆☆
Cambridge Arts Theatre
H
ow to celebrate the
tenth birthday of a
dance company? For
the
troupe
‘Ballet
Black’, it is by tracing
its development from the very
beginning up to a foretaste of future
works. Consequently, the audience
is confronted with an inventory
that reaches from a glittery show in
Bollywood style over subtle pas de
deux to an interpretation of Greek
myths. A huge evolution indeed.
Too many smiles and backbends combined with shiny
orange costumes and a song ‘I
fell in love…’ would constitute a
ridiculous performance if it weren’t
possible to consider it as a selfmocking retrospective of their own
beginnings.
The foundation of the company
in 2001 was politically motivated.
‘Ballet Black’ aimed to provide a
platform for underrepresented black
or Asian dancers to perform.
Now, ten years later, they are
an established troupe that are far
from representative of glamour
ballet. That’s what ‘Orpheus’, the last
performance of the evening, proves.
Its overall project, to adapt for a
small company an established ballet
originally written for the New York
City Ballet in 1948, must therefore
dispense with the excessive use
of props. The neo-classical music
composed by Igor Stravinsky still
frames the story of Orpheus and
Eurydice.
After Eurydice dies
for the second time, the dancers
show a brilliant performance. The
synchronous and desirous dances of
Hades’ fellows were outstandingly
impressive, trying to get Orpheus
under their control. Pictures
emerged that one would have
loved to capture and preserve as
sculptures, such as an accumulation
of about five dancers that attacks
Orpheus.
It was a shame that the overall
choreography of ‘Orpheus’ lacked
ingenuity: one single mood and
The overall
choreography
lacked ingenuity
undifferentiated, steady flowing
movements dominated, particularly
in the first part. Precise scenes,
contrasts and more intense
usage of mimic art would have
produced a much more compelling
interpretation. Yet the company
demonstrated that they are capable
of doing this. The pieces of the
middle period, including ‘Da
Gamba’ (2010) by Henri Oguike
and ‘Shift’ (2005) by Antonia
Franceschi, comprise both sensitive
and vigorous performances. A
combination of the classical adaption
and the mood-distinctive pieces
of the middle period would work
well in the future. ‘Orpheus’ is to be
taken as an indicator of a promising
direction for the troupe. With this
in mind, one should definitely be
excited about the next ten years of
‘Ballet Black’.
Katharina Lang
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Image: Guy Jansen
Matthew Topham investigates Cambridge’s most famous vegetarian café
The Rainbow Café
★★☆☆☆
Food:
★★☆☆☆
Service:
Atmosphere: ★☆☆☆☆
£42 for two, three courses plus wine.
This review comes (one regrets necessarily) with a disclaimer: I like
vegetables. I carry no traumatic celery-based memories from a vegan
childhood. Nor is my self-worth
predicated on a need to eat meat all
the time in a vaguely manly fashion.
D’accord?
Good. Now, with that out of the
way, I shall say that the much féted
Rainbow Café left me a little cold. It
is well known for being better than
it looks. One certainly feels the cold
sweat of apprehension wandering
down the crevice in King’s Parade to
the unassuming door, and wending
a way downstairs before being (perhaps) greeted by anyone.
It does call itself a café, I suppose,
and so one might have expected a
little roughness around the edges, but
its reputation had made me expect a
little more, well, excitement.
What one gets is a brightly-painted
warren, with all of the accoutrements
of an inner city café (the sort of place
one imagines is called a ‘caff ’ by its
denizens). So far so mildly perturbing, and no amount of obligatory
Buddha heads and vaguely hippy
décor-bits ameliorated the resemblance.
But of course the thing this place
is really famous for is its food, which
(practically uniquely in Cambridge)
caters well for vegetarians and vegans. That is its raison d’etre, in fact.
The menu is, quite honestly, a delight, with treats ranging from Libyan
Couscous to Jamaican Patties via artichoke parcels and Ethiopian lentils.
The extensive daily menu, from
which we ordered a pair of soups
(lentil with herbs and chickpea and
butternut squash), an orzo salad and
champignon en croute, was a pleasant surprise.
In both cases the soups were overly
grainy in texture, proclaiming their
worthiness as ‘wholefoods’ a little too
loudly for my liking. The chickpea
soup was also wholly devoid of any
traces of butternut squash flavour,
the only clue being the colour.
The main courses were a little more
vegetarianism, provides salad garnishes.
With everything. I hate salad garnishes. They are perhaps the single
most pointless and pathetic accoutrement to any dish.
These were made insipid by
mounds of grated carrot, and then
surreal by the presence of orange
slices the size of saucers, at least half
an inch thick, and sprinkled liberally
(and bafflingly) with parsley. I cannot
The wine list is frankly awful. Organic wine
sends shivers down my liver
spectacular: an orzo salad presented in a hollowed out nest of lettuce
leaves had a pleasing knowingness to
it, whilst being aesthetically impressive, and was apparently delicious.
The pastry of the champignon en
croute was the perfect brown, but the
mushrooms contained therein were
overcooked though fairly pleasant.
Those outside the pastry were less
so, bathed as they were in an insipid
cream sauce and served on a bed of
beautifully al dente but sadly tepid
brown rice.
And then there was the salad. And
the orange.
Yes, in the finest tradition of naff
pubs everywhere, the Rainbow Café,
again rather vainly trumpeting its
say why. The wine list is frankly awful. Only four are offered, all organic
(organic wine sends shivers down
my liver), and both the white and the
red which I tried were utterly vapid,
the red having the disadvantage of an
unpleasant harshness, ably illustrating why Principles ought never to get
in the way of drinking good wine.
Pudding was a pleasant uplift,
and the two cheesecakes (one vegan
chocolate chip and vanilla, the other
lemon and white chocolate) were
pleasingly and very differently textured, and most satisfying.
But the damage wrought by the
oranges and the general underperformance (extending to the leaden
service) was done.
Theatre |27
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SPORT
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
The
CambridgeStudent
What are you playing at?
Do modern sportsmen set a good example? Olivia Lee finds out
Considering the number of scandals
surrounding high profile sportsmen
in recent years, it is surely right to
question whether sport is an arena to
which children and teenagers should
look for heroes. Children need role
models to help shape their behaviour
and values, but those they admire
could well be setting a harmful example. Issues occur across all sports, but
those in men’s sport, and in particular in football, tend to be more sordid
and to receive most attention.
It is true that we can be idealistic about past eras, viewing them
through rose-tinted glasses, whilst
being overly disparaging about our
own era. Therefore, I’m not going
to state that all footballers are selfinvolved, immoral, and greedy, as
opposed to the previous generations
who were paradigms of virtue. This
is not an accurate characterisation,
as the personal issues of George Best
proved. However, whilst the behaviour of sportsmen may not have dramatically changed, society has, and
they are under more surveillance and
scrutiny than ever before.
The recent scandals surrounding
football players include married John
Terry’s dalliances with the partner of a
teammate, Peter Crouch’s and Wayne
Rooney’s employment of prostitutes,
and Ashley Cole’s numerous extramarital affairs. Even the affable David
Beckham has come under the spotlight on occasion. Outside of football,
the behaviour of Tiger Woods has
been perhaps the most shocking revelation in sport in the past decade.
We may ask why any of this matters; sportsmen are, after all, in theory not celebrities. However, the truth
is that the minute they get their first
sponsorship deal, modern sportsment become public figures, and
compromise their private lives. Players are not forced into sponsorship
deals through necessity. Does Rafael
Nadal, with his estimated net worth
at over £30 million, absolutely need
to be on a billboard in Armani underwear? It is fine for sportsmen to
be involved in sponsorship, but they
need to accept what comes with the
territory. Scrutiny of their personal
life is the price they pay.
Admittedly, their private lives (assuming they are not involved in substance abuse) do not necessarily hinder their ability to do their job. Would
you question a doctor’s credibility because he had an extra-marital affair?
Probably not, but the difference is that
players cash in on their status, on the
faith and trust that their fans place in
them as people, not only as players.
A sizeable amount of their fortunes
comes from sponsorship deals and
publicity. In 2008, Tiger Woods received $55.4m from a UAE developer
to promote a golf resort in Dubai.
The photos of Wayne Rooney’s wedding were sold to Hello! for £1.5m.
Rooney also earns £2.5m per year
from his four main sponsors, two of
which, EA Sports and Coca-Cola,
mainly target children and teenagers.
The issue is not with players alone.
The reason that their personal lives
have come under the scrutiny of
the public is partly down to a media
mentality whereby scandal is exposed
for the sake of exposure, not because
it serves any public good. The public
has an appetite for drama and the
sordid details of the private lives of
celebrities which the modern media
is all too eager to share. Additionally,
there are wider sociological issues.
Role models and heroes are found
less in literature due to a decline in
the time children spend reading, and
a rise in the amount of time spent
A world without sports scandals...
Image: Dominic McKenzie
watching television. Inevitably, role
models will be found in the sources
of entertainment to which children
are most exposed, and in the modern
world, that means television.
It is also true that the public can
be hypocritical. We expect athletes
to be super-human, and are disappointed when they fail to live up to
this image. But the huge rewards they
earn through sports and through the
admiration of their fans are consolations for this fact.
High profile players undoubtedly encourage participation in sport
among younger generations. With
obesity and anti-social behaviour on
the rise, this is incredibly beneficial.
It must not be forgotten that successful players have sacrificed their life
to sport, and have a drive for success and brilliance that should be respected. But if the personal conduct
of sportsmen like Woods, Terry, and
Cole is emulated by their admirers
and considered acceptable simply
because they are talented, they are
teaching younger generations destructive lessons.
Children can easily find good role
models in sport. In tennis, for example, players tend to behave well
and appear down-to-earth, maintaining grit and focus, and that is to
be applauded. In the 2009 Australian
Open, Rafael Nadal played for over
5 hours to win a place in the final,
and then went on to play another 4½
hours after just one day’s rest to win
against the supposed greatest player
of all time. How many footballers can
claim to play with that much stamina
and determination? Receiving trophies at the end of tournaments, often the first words from the victors
are those of praise for their opponent.
A respect for both the players and the
game itself exists in tennis, but appears lacking in football. Every sport
has its bad eggs - I wouldn’t say John
McEnroe’s or Boris Becker’s behaviour is exemplary - but some sports
seem to have a higher proportion.
Unfortunately, Britain’s obsession
with football means that those setting the worst example in terms of
conduct garner the most attention.
Ultimately, players must acknowledge their position. Having the opportunity to affect mass thinking
is something most people can only
dream of. Let’s hope that some of
them take this responsibility seriously. Nevertheless, sport will always
fascinate and enthral us, regardless of
players’ conduct, a notion articulated
by The Times chief sports writer Simon Barnes: “At a certain age, we begin to accept the idea that a hero can
still be a hero while showing himself
to be less perfect than we had hoped,
more flawed than we had suspected…We can accept that some heroes
have their being in error and folly:
that we can find little or no excuse
for them and what they do – while at
the same time, their stories somehow
matter to us.”
Cougars challenge misconceptions
Rebecca Phillips
Image: Rebecca Phillips
When most of us think of cheerleaders, we picture beautiful and often
cruel young women cheering on male
athletes, with their image and vapidity far more salient than any supposed
level of athletic prowess. However, the
Cambridge Cougars cheerleaders, a
co-ed team with years of competitive
experience under their pom-poms
(if they actually used them, that is),
were on a mission to dispel such misconceptions as they began this year’s
competition season with a third place
finish in Loughborough.
All-star cheerleading, which came
about in the US in the 1980s, transformed the world of cheer by having
those who cheered on the athletes
become athletes in their own right.
All-star teams exist solely for competition purposes, for which they construct and perform a two and a half
minute high-energy routine consisting of gymnastics, dance, jumps, human pyramids, and intricate stunts
where one team member, a ‘flyer’,
would be catapulted into the air by
the strength of those beneath her (or,
rarely but increasingly, him), flipping,
contorting, and performing acrobatic
feats. These short but intense routines
could make or break a team’s season.
On the university level, the increased
age, and often ability, of collegiate
cheerleaders means that stunts and
tumbling could be ramped up in difficulty and, in the last decade or so,
competitive cheerleading teams have
begun to spring up worldwide, with
many British universities now boasting their own squads.
Of course, as with figure skating,
synchronised swimming, artistic
gymnastics, and dance, cheerleading is a sport with a large emphasis
on performance and showmanship.
The focus on image is evident, and
coach Richard Ferguson displayed
his strictness on ponytail height at
the team’s dress rehearsal, often literally taking matters into his own
hands. The female cheerleaders also
apply stage make-up before they
walk on to the mat to perform. Furthermore, cheerleaders are encouraged to smile throughout the routine,
pulling wide-eyed and toothy ‘facials’
as they perform, often complete with
faux-shocked expressions as they fly
into the air, or winks to the audience
as they step out of a tumbling pass.
But the not-so-glamorous side of
cheerleading cannot be ignored; captain Cally Humphrey, a PhD student
formerly of the Oxford Sirens, and
medic Elena Teh Su Yin put on brave
faces, and lots of Deep Heat, as they
practice for and travel to the competition while sustaining painful injuries,
and virtually every other cheerleader
sports bruises like war wounds, often received by bases and back spots
when powering a flyer into the air,
or catching her again afterwards.
Cheerleaders must be strong, flexible, and willing to soldier on through
inevitable pain and, as their routine
music, a frenetic mash-up of positive
anthems, including recent hits such
as Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’ and classics
like ‘I Will Survive’, begins, the Cougars appear on perfect form, smiling
wide with not a pain-fuelled grimace
in sight. It looks effortless.
This competition, the Cougars’
first this academic year, marked the
first time that the team competed as
a level 3 cheerleading squad rather
than level 2, meaning the competition was fierce, and that more difficult stunts and tumbling passes
were allowed. Despite this, the Cougars hit all but one of their complex
stunts and went home with the third
place trophy, beating last year’s winners, the Brighton and Sussex Waves.
First place were the Brunel Blizzards, whose routine was performed
of many skilled gymnasts, while the
seasoned Leeds Celtics received the
second place trophy.
The Cougars will be competing
again in March at the ICC University
National Championship in Leeds,
as well as cheering, dancing, stunting, and prowling on the sidelines at
matches for various university sports.
The squad welcomes students with
any level of experience to practices,
and will be open to new members in
Easter term.
The
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
30| Sport
Splash! Varsity water polo victory
Cambridge
13
Oxford
12
Matt Ingrams
The 111th men’s Varsity water polo
match took place on Saturday at
Parkside Pools. The Cambridge
men’s team secured a deserved 13-12
win to complement victories by both
the in front of a large and vocal home
crowd.
The Light Blues entered the match
with a good record from the previous
weeks, including strong BUCS wins
over both Imperial and Oxford. The
Cambridge side had also emerged
7-6 winners over the City of Cambridge side in the annual Town vs
Gown match on the 17th February,
and so knew that victory was a definite possibility.
Cambridge started strong in the
first quarter, attacking the shallow
end. They were first to concede but
pulled the score back to 3-1 at the
end of the first quarter. It is commonly held that it is harder to attack
Image: Matt Ingrams
The Cambridge Men’s
team secured a deserved 13-12 win.
the shallow end than the deep, and so
both coach Andy Knight, and the rest
of the team, were delighted with the
first quarter performance. The Light
Blues continued their dominance in
the second quarter, with the introduction of Hamish Crichton at centre
forward, forcing Oxford to drop off
the arc. Whilst Oxford managed this
slightly more effectively than their
at times confused effort in BUCS,
Cambridge were still able to exploit
the Dark Blues’ defence to end the
second quarter ahead by 10 goals to
4. Both Riccardo di Pietro and Alex
Davies picked up first half hat tricks.
For the first two quarters Cambridge
played some exceptionally good polo,
and looked set to dominate the rest of
the match.
What happened next, however,
seriously knocked the Cambridge
team off their stride, and they lost
their dominant position. With a few
quick counter-attacks, and after some
missed opportunities for the Light
Blues, Cambridge saw their lead slip
from six goals to just two as Oxford
scored five unanswered goals in the
space of around four minutes. Testing the nerve of the team, almost to
breaking point, a horrific quarter
finished with Cambridge just slightly
ahead 11-9.
The break at the end of the quarter
allowed Cambridge to regroup, and
strong words from a number of people ensured the Light Blues emerged
determined to close out the match,
and to earn the victory that only
fifteen minutes before had seemed
almost certain. Oxford also came
out rejuvenated for the final quarter,
however, having fought so hard to
pull themselves back into the match.
But it was Cambridge who showed
their impressive ability to close out
the game - a skill which has proved
immeasurably useful against a number of opponents this season. After
it looked like the match was going
to be thrown away, the Light Blues
showed immense heart to come back
and finish the match in style. Final
quarter goals from Nick McLoughlin
and Dave Leigh sealed the result, and
Cambridge held out to become the
2011 Varsity winners.
The men will now travel to Walsall
this weekend for the BUCS semi-finals, where they will face some of the
top university sides in the country.
The women’s water polo side,
meanwhile, had earlier in the day
also beaten the Dark Blues, by 9 goals
to 7. Cambridge showed resilience,
and determination to emerge victorious from a tense battle.
Kara-sity: Cambridge secure
impressive victory
Malgorzata Stanislawek
On Saturday, Cambridge University
Karate Club once again asserted its
dominance over Oxford by winning
karate Varsity for the fifth year in a
row. Despite courageous attempts at
kata (a predetermined set of movements, involving a series of strikes
and blocks) and kumite (controlled
sparring, where points are awarded
based on strikes going to touch) by
the Oxford side, Cambridge’s men’s
A, men’s B, and ladies’ teams proved
unbeatable.
The day began with kata performances. The men’s A competitiors got off to a start worthy of
the current holders of the Varsity
trophy. Cambridge’s Roman Sztyler
came top of the men’s A kata performance with the highest score of
the day from any karateka. Ex-Cantabridgian Simon Picot, now fighting for Oxford, was the only men’s
A OUKC representative to score in
the top half of the ranking table for
kata. CUKC’s ladies similarly beat
their Oxford counterparts in kata,
securing four of the top five places.
A special mention must go to Oxford’s Elizabeth Jeffreys, however,
who defended Oxford’s honour by
taking first place in the ladies’ individual kata.
In the team kata category, where
three karateka attempt to perform
a kata in perfect synchrony, Cambridge cleaned up with a complete
white wash, winning all three categories.
The kumite matches began with
a spirited performance from the
men’s captain, Liam Gabb, who won
his fight with clean scoring techniques and paved the way for further Cambridge victories. CUKC
won six of the ten men’s A matches
thus sealing their hold on the men’s
A trophy. The ladies’ performance
was equally impressive. Despite losing the first match to Kathryn Vickers, the Oxford captain, Cambridge
swiftly fought back. Madeleine
Wood finished off her opponent in
the quickest time of the day with
two rapid punches, while Gosia
Stanislawek, Cambridge’s captain,
successfully was the only woman to
win both her fights on the day. This
secured a second trophy of the day,
for Cambridge.
After a difficult start in kata, the
men’s B team had ground to make
up and needed to prevent the Oxford side from gaining any more
points. Happily they rose to the
challenge, winning four fights and
drawing one. Craig Woodhead
scored the technique of the day, an
ippon, by kicking his opponent in
the head and ending the fight. Subsequently, the men’s B team accumulated enough points to win the
man’s B trophy.
CUKC conceded only four of
their twenty-three matches. This
feat, combined with CUKC’s kata
performances, led to an emphatic
victory, and Cambridge scooped
the Enoeda Cup, the much coveted
Karate Varsity trophy.
The
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
Sport |31
Day of mixed emotions for
Cambridge volleyballers
Andrew Corley &
Caroline Gordon
Katharina Kehl
Cambridge defeated Oxford in an
intense swimming Varsity match
at Parkside Pools on Saturday. Ultimately, the overall winner was
decided by the final event and, in a
neck-and-neck race, the Light Blues
pushed through to victory by 0.35
seconds.
Tensions ran high from the start,
and the first events, the individual
medleys, saw clear Cambridge victories, with Henny Dillon taking the
women’s title and Dale Waterhouse
and Tom Rootsey securing first and
second in the men’s event; Waterhouse set a new university record in
the process. In the 100m backstroke,
however, Oxford began to regain
ground, despite great performances
by the Cambridge swimmers.
The next event, the 200m freestyle, brought the whole poolside
to life as the races became much
more closely fought. Cambridge
started well in the women’s event
with Katherine De Rome and Chloe
Spiby-Loh, but a late push from
Oxford took them to a narrow victory. In the men’s event, a face-off
between Cambridge captain Andy
Corley and Oxford captain Tom
Booth led to a marginal win for the
Dark Blues, with only 0.7 seconds
separating the top 3 swimmers.
The 100m butterfly before the first
break therefore found Cambridge in
need of points, but their swimmers
certainly delivered, with Dillon and
Emily Darley storming to first and
second. In the men’s event, Jack Marriot of Oxford swam an incredible
race to take victory, but Cambridge’s
Joel Carpenter and Jack Long were
able to secure second and third. By
the first break, the score was Cambridge 40 - Oxford 39.
After the break, there were two
very closely-fought 400m freestyle
races. Throughout both the men’s
and women’s events the Light Blues
looked favourites, but late pushes
from the Oxford swimmers led them
to first and second in the women’s
event, and first in the men’s. Once
again, Cambridge had to raise their
game, and did so in the 100m breaststroke. Another face-off between
captains saw Cambridge’s Caroline
Gordon leave Oxford’s Katherine
Rollins trailing in her wake while, in
the men’s event, Tom Hill cruised to
victory.
In the 100m freestyle, very impressive swimming from both teams
made for extremely exciting events.
In the women’s race, Justine Schluntz
of Oxford secured victory, but strong
swims from De Rome and SpibyLoh denied Oxford a one-two finish.
Then, in the men’s event, an incredible swim by Waterhouse saw another
Cambridge victory and another university record tumble. Heading into
the second break, the women’s score
was an even 35-35 and the men’s was
Cambridge 34 - Oxford 35. The winner was going to be decided by the
remaining four events.
Cambridge enjoyed an incredible
start to the relays as the women’s
medley team cruised to an easy victory by nearly six seconds. In the
men’s medley relay, however, Oxford
fought back and took victory, in the
process securing the men’s title. The
Cambridge women’s freestyle team
had a tougher race than the medley team, but were able to defeat the
Dark Blues and thus take the women’s title.
The overall winner, however, was
to be decided by the men’s 4x100m
freestyle relay. Impressive swims by
Carpenter, Rootsey, and Corley put
Cambridge in a strong position, but
Oxford went with them stroke-forstroke, leaving the destination of the
Varsity title in the hands of the final
swimmers - Waterhouse of Cambridge and Oxford captain Booth.
The poolside exploded with noise
as the two approached the finish
neck-and-neck and, with a final split
of 50.7 seconds, Waterhouse outtouched Booth by 0.35 seconds to
take his side to victory, smashing the
university record by three seconds.
Parkside erupted with the cheers
of the Cambridge support as the
final scores were announced: Cambridge 93 - Oxford 86.
Saturday’s Varsity matches between
the Light Blue volleyball teams and
their Oxonian opponents ended
with two clear victories for the
Cambridge women’s teams, but
the men’s teams found themselves
unable to repeat their success of the
previous year.
Having
welcomed
an
unprecedented intake at the trials
in October, CUVC now has a total
of three women’s teams, with four
former Blues players hitting the
court for the second team this
season. The day began with a strong
performance from that second team
against a much weaker Oxford
side. Never really challenged by
their Dark Blue opponents, they
swiftly secured the first Cambridge
victory of the day, running out 3-0
winners.
On the neighbouring court, the
men’s second team had to fight
a much harder battle. Coach Jim
McElwaine watched the two sides
draw level after four sets before
Cambridge finally succumbed,
going down 15-9 in the decider.
Judging by the size of the crowd,
the women’s Blues game early in the
afternoon was anticipated by many
as the highlight of the day. The
ladies had already beaten Oxford
twice this season, so hopes were
high for another Cambridge victory.
Image: Dana Tsui
Swimmers secure victory over rivals in
thrilling Varsity contest
The Light Blues looked physically
stronger, but Oxford stayed hard on
their heels, and never let them run
away with it. In a very close and at
times heated match, the Cambridge
players kept their focus and secured
another 3-0 victory.
Last up were the men’s Blues,
hoping to repeat their 2010 success.
While both teams were equally
strong on the attack, Cambridge’s
defence was sometimes lacking,
failing to close the block and unable
to pick up some deep balls. In the
end the decisive points were scored
by the Dark Blue side, leading them
to a 3-0 victory over an increasingly
dispirited Cambridge team, thus
completing an afternoon of mixed
emotions.
Same crews impress again at
Pembroke Regatta
Fran O’Brien
Deputy Sports Editor
Caius M1 were victorious in
Pembroke Regatta on Saturday,
beating Downing in the men’s
final. In the women’s competition,
however, Downing took the prize
ahead of Emmanuel.
First and Third Trinity fell at
the first hurdle in both the men’s
and women’s events, to Girton
and Trinity Hall respectively.
Both headships now look almost
certain to be snatched from FaT,
and Downing are in prime position
to take at least one, if not both.
Certainly, there are few betting
against Downing for the women’s
headship due to their exceptional
form this term, but the men’s title
seems very much up for grabs.
Indeed, the top of the Lents M1
division promises to be the most
exciting it has been in years. Caius
demonstrated that they have the
speed to beat Downing this weekend, and are probably the fastest
men’s boat on the river this term,
following wins at Fairbairns,
Newnham Short Course and Pembroke Regatta. However, starting
fifth on the river, they would need
to earn blades to reach the top spot.
That is a tall order, despite their
sizeable two and a half length win
over Downing in the final of Pembroke Regatta. The LMBC crew
who lost to Caius by a length in the
semi-final will undoubtedly prove
tough to bump, as will Pembroke,
who were not in action at their Regatta, but put in a strong performance at Robinson Head.
The middle of the men’s first division may also prove interesting.
The absence of Queens’, Jesus,
Trinity Hall, and Clare from some
of the races this term means that
there are a few wild cards to look
out for. Further down the men’s
charts, some boats to watch include
St Catharine’s, Selwyn, Churchill,
and Girton, all of whom have produced some good results this term
which suggest they may be moving
upwards.
Downing’s easy victory over
Emma in the women’s final summed
up their dominance this term. They
impressively dispatched Caius,
Christ’s, and Clare on their way to
the final. Having not entered Fairbairns, Downing won at the Newnham, Robinson, and Pembroke
events comfortably, and one suspects that FaT will need a miracle
to retain the headship. In comparison to the men’s event, there appears to be fewer surprise packages
among the women’s boats. Having
said that, Newnham’s first and lower crews look to be worth watching,
as do Queens’, Caius, and the Trinity Hall crew who knocked out FaT
on Saturday.
With the Lents Getting-On Race
this Friday, and First and Third’s
BumpIt predictions game now up
and running, bumps fever will continue to build until the moment the
first cannon fires.
Once again CUTAZZ is delighted to present its annual
dance show, with styles ranging from Tap and Jazz to
Street and Lyrical, and with over 80 performers!
Last year's show was SOLD OUT so get your tickets
NOW to ensure that you don't miss your chance to see
what is sure to be fantastic entertainment and a dazzling
display of dance.
The
CambridgeStudent
SPORT
Thursday, 24th February 2011
Cambridge girls net victory
Setback for titlechasing men’s
football side
Cambridge
0
East Anglia
2
Images: Olivia Lee
Michael Alhadeff
Cambridge
40
Oxford
34
Olivia Lee
Playing indoors at the Leys School in
Cambridge, the women’s Blues put
in an energetic and vigorous performance to defeat Oxford 40-34 in
this year’s Varsity game. It was a wellmatched battle from the start, with
the Cambridge girls eager to prevent
a repeat of last year’s 44-35 loss.
Oxford took the first centre, scoring within the first few seconds, but
Cambridge immediately equalised,
and this was a pattern that persisted
throughout the match. Both teams
moved the ball well across the court,
although the odd pass finding its way
out of play, perhaps due to nerves.
Some excellent and consistent shooting meant there were few rebounds
for either side to take advantage of
and so each traded goals for a time,
with Oxford pulling very slightly in
front. The rapid pace of the game
seemed to slightly disconcert the Oxford shooters, allowing Cambridge
to briefly take control. With some
great positioning in the D, the shooters were under less pressure and
managed to equalise. This lead was
short-lived, however, and Oxford
soon moved ahead once again. Some
great defensive work impeded their
progress, with WD Sophia Anderson
constantly hassling the Oxford girls,
fighting for every ball, and GD Livvy
Robinson repeatedly sweeping overhead passes off the sideline. The first
quarter ended with Oxford one goal
ahead at 9-8.
The supporters grew
more and more excited as Cambridge
increased their lead.
The second quarter saw Cambridge
pull ahead, despite some incredible
defensive play from the Oxford GD,
who consistently hindered the shooters by batting the ball out of the D.
Captain Vicky Colgate was a solid
source of support for both the attack
and defence, managing as C to be a
permanent presence in every third
of the court. Despite some slightly
less consistent shooting, GS Jess McGeorge was always ready to grab the
rebound and try again. Finally, a fantastic interception from Sophie Anderson gave Cambridge the chance
to overtake Oxford, energising the
watching supporters and boosting
the girls’ performance. With interceptions aplenty, the ball was kept
away from the Oxford shooters, who
were forced, when they did manage to get the ball, to shoot from less
comfortable positions. Cambridge
retained their lead at 18-14 until the
whistle blew.
Oxford seemed determined to
catch-up and started the third quarter with renewed energy, again scoring the opening goal. Once more,
Cambridge stayed hot on their heels,
but an impressive run of successful
shooting allowed Oxford to equalise,
leaving the spectators on the edges
of their seats. When Cambridge got
the chance they moved quickly up
the court, but it wasn’t enough to
Page 29 - Do sportsmen set a
good example?
Page 29 - Cheerleaders
challenge
misconceptions
Page 30 - Water Polo Varsity
Page 31 - Volleyball Varsity
Page 31 - Pembroke Regatta
overtake Oxford again, and the third
quarter finished at 27-27, leaving
both teams with just fifteen minutes
to win the game.
The interception of Oxford’s first
centre of the final quarter gave Cambridge the momentum that stayed
with them until the end. Some ferocious hassling from GK Antonia
Akoto kept the Oxford shooters at
bay, and Livvy Robinson was quick to
collect any rebounds and move them
back up the court.
The supporters grew more and
more excited as Cambridge increased
their lead and, although the Oxford
girls tried to steady their game by
moving the ball sideways across the
court and slowing their passes, the
Light Blue girls were on fire, intercepting passes left, right, and centre.
Sophie Anderson was a force to be
reckoned with, continually appearing as if from nowhere to snatch
back possession of the ball. Oxford
kept calm and fought incredibly
hard, even though a Cambridge victory was now inevitable. The crowd
erupted as the game ended with the
score at 40-34.
Both teams were relentless in their
performance and played with high
levels of passion and energy. However, the grit of the Cambridge players
was the difference as they secured an
outstanding victory against respected
and formidable opposition.
The Blues lost in the league for the
first time this season on Monday as
they went down to a strong University of East Anglia side. In the process,
UEA displaced them at the top of the
table, where things remain tightly
congested. Setbacks are inevitable in
any campaign, and it is Cambridge’s
response which will show us how
good this team really is. They may
have lost this battle, but remain very
much in the competition.
Driving rain and cold air made
Grange Road look like a First World
War trench as the match began, but
this only seemed to deepen the Blues’
commitment to the cause. Despite being two down for much of the second
half, they doggedly chased the game
even as conditions deteriorated.
Much of the first half was a stalemate as UEA, clearly wary of this top
of the table of clash, set up defensively
with one striker. He found himself
largely starved of possession, but
showed admirable effort in attempting to hold the ball up.
Meanwhile, the Blues struggled
to find their rhythm. The new strike
force of Sherriff and Kerrigan showed
some promise, as the little and large
combination provided both an aerial
threat and the pace to get behind the
defence. However, the link up was
never quite perfect, and Kerrigan was
limited to one long-range effort.
As the first half drew to a close,
UEA struck a telling blow. As the
ball broke towards the Blues’ goal,
the keeper took the decision to race
off his line, but UEA’s striker showed
a greater turn of pace to prod it past
him and finish neatly. This was justified reward for his tireless work.
The Blues started the second half
positively, but UEA soon doubled
their advantage. They capitalised on
a loss of possession and broke swiftly
down the flank; the subsequent cross
was allowed to run across the Blues’
box and was met with a clinical finish.
The grim conditions now appeared to
foreshadow the result.
Despite this, Cambridge heads
didn’t drop; captain James Day contiued to offer his vocal encouragement
to great effect. Indeed, the Blues were
able to apply some late pressure; the
returning Hartley saw a shot go narrowly wide, while the industrious
Totten put some quality balls into the
area, nearly setting up Broadway.
Speaking to The Cambridge Student
after the game, Day said “we showed
how much we wanted it by battling so
hard at the end, but we weren’t good
enough at keeping the ball during the
majority of the match.”