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I look at my eyes in this photo of me, at 25 yrs old,
and I see all the unhappiness of my past. It is almost
hard to look at!
For more information about
Stacey Halprin, please visit
www.winningafterlosing.com
To learn more about Focus 28,
visit www.focus28wellness.com
Jamie J. Carr, RN, is Senior Vice
President, Clinical Operations for
Bariatric Partners, Inc. headquartered in Charlotte, NC. Bariatric
Partners works in partnership with
leading bariatric surgeons throughout
the U.S. to develop, own and operate
specialty outpatient facilities designed
to meet the unique surgical needs of
obese patients. Jamie has served as
the National Chair of the ASMBS
Foundation’s Walk from ObesitySM
and is a strong proponent of research
and education, believing in the
empowerment of the WLS patient.
She has worked with thousands of
bariatric patients. Jamie worked for
Dr. John D. Husted in his private
practice as his clinical director for
over 8 years.
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www.wlslifestyles.com
PHOTO BY: DEBORAH FEINGOLD PHOTOGRAPHY
WWW.DEBORAHFEINGOLD.COM
9/28/07 12:48:14 PM
KEEP OFF
THE WEIGHT
YOU’VE
LOST FOREVER
by Jamie J. Carr, RN
Senior VP, Clinical Operations, Bariatric Partners, Inc.
– An Inspiring Moment with Stacey Halprin, Author, Motivational Speaker, Actress, Overcomer
After undergoing weight loss surgery five
years ago, Stacey Halprin is beating the
odds. She has managed to maintain her
weight loss yet admits it is only through
daily monitoring of herself and her environment. At over 500 pounds before surgery,
this inspiring woman’s story tells all. She is
waging a war on weight issues that plague
patients after surgery and is committed to
teaching all of those that come after her to
not focus on the scale, but to focus on keeping the weight off after surgery by changing
their thoughts and changing behavior. She
has written a book “Winning After Losing”
and is committed to help others to become
successful at long-term weight loss. I sat
down with her on one afternoon for a few
moments and was inspired by her determination, her honesty and her commitment
for a better physical and emotional life.
JAMIE Stacey, I would like to begin by talking about
your turning point, 9 -11- 01. The day our country was attacked by terrorists – you state this day changed your life
forever. It is ironic that it not only changed your life forever
but the lives of all Americans. Would you please describe
this day?
STACEY Let me first give you a bit of history. My weight
was over 500 pounds at the time. My immobility kept me a
prisoner in my own home. I could walk downstairs to my car
and that was as far as I could go. I had to drive anywhere that
I needed to go, my car were my legs. The grocery store was
a few blocks away but my weight would not allow me to walk.
Many times my car would be towed for parking in front of the
stores I went to. I got parking tickets everywhere I went because I had to park at the door of all places I went as I could
not walk. I literally could not get food or supplies if I could not
drive, park in the front of the building, unload my cart that held
my weight and hurry back to my apartment.
This leads me to the morning of 9-11. I live about 1½ miles
from ground zero. I will never forget the events of that day. I
heard a commotion outside; a friend telephoned me in a panic
and told me to look out the window. As I struggled to walk to
my window and at that moment, I watched the World Trade
Towers collapse. I remember the terror I felt as I watched not
knowing what was happening. I would have to go back and
forth to the window as I could not stand up for very long. Over
the next hours, the streets were closed and the barricades
were put in place. Only emergency vehicles were allowed
passage on all streets. All of the sudden I realized that I could
not drive. The only way I could get out was on foot. That was
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Top: No this is not a countries’ flag they are my old underpants and I wave
them proudly! Center: This was the day I met Shirley MacLaine, the director
of DRESS CODE, the movie I starred in. She took one look at me and asked
me to come to the studio to read from the script, the rest is history! Bottom:
Richard Simmons has such a love and compassion for the morbidly obese,
he is willing to help and he deeply feels for all of us!
JAMIE Let’s go back for a moment; would you share
your childhood with us? What are your most vivid memories when the dysfunctional relationship with food began?
STACEY I remember the exact moment that changed my
life. I was six years old. My mother was taken to the hospital
with pneumonia. When they took her away I was filled with
terror and despair. I was convinced that my mother was
never coming back. In her absence I was given a doll made
of candy. The dolls clothes were collections of all sorts of
candies. I remember eating one and then another and then
another until the doll was naked. I looked at the doll, threw
it under my bed and cried. This was the beginning of the
self-loathing and destructive eating habits that became all
too familiar to me. This was the beginning of a life that I
could not control.
JAMIE Stacey, you admitted to Oprah Winfrey that
not an option. If I could not drive then how could I live? I could
not walk to the grocery or to the pharmacy or worst case to
the hospital. I was frozen with fear. I remember the smell of
the streets, the smell of death and destruction. I knew after
this day my life would never be the same.
I remember vividly thinking what would I do? How would
I get out of my apartment if this attack was furthered to my
neighborhood? The terror of my imprisonment, as well as the
attack on my country, gripped me and I promised that if our
country survived this I would change my situation forever. I
faced my personal terror on the same day our country did. I
took the steps to change my life, but not before I ordered in
just one more pizza. Can you imagine on 911 when the world
was crushing around me I still ordered in pizza? But, the very
next day I kept my promise. Never would I ever be so helpless
or so full of fear.
STACEY Jamie, I cannot blame anyone for my circum-
stances but me. I was born with the illness of compulsive
overeating. I don’t blame myself for having the eating disorder,
but I do blame myself for the choices I made in dealing with
it. I chose to eat food to excess. I chose to block out my
emotional and physical pain by stuffing myself. I needed to
be honest or I was just kidding myself. Most of us will say we
do not eat much, that is not true. I can tell you that I did not
get to be over 500 pounds without eating. I ate whole pizzas,
gallons of ice cream and anything else that I could. I tell many
people that are struggling with weight to write down everything they eat for three days. Believe me, if they are honest
with themselves, the page is not blank.
JAMIE You are the most talked about guest on the Oprah
show. Tell me how your relationship with Oprah began.
JAMIE In your book, Winning after Losing, you talk
STACEY When I was a child I wrote a letter to the Oprah
STACEY The contrast was for the most part – day and
JAMIE You openly talk about your rebirth. Would you
about days that you did not open your curtains because
you could not bear the contrast between realities, please
tell me about that contrast.
night. Night was a veil for me. I felt thinner at night. To me
night time was an accessory. It seemed to me that I could hide
my weight better when the sun was not shining. The daylight
brought too much vision. I could see what I was missing by my
imprisonment. I could see that I was dying, that life was passing me by. I remember the street festivals. I would stand at the
window and see others living. I could see what I was missing
and it was devastating. So, the curtains shielded me from reality - shielded me from the life that I was missing.
8
you “ate every pound that you weighed.” This is a most
unconventional statement. This is a statement of full selfdisclosure and a very courageous statement. Most people
wanted to make excuses for your weight. What drove you
to make this statement?
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show for help with my weight. I was desperate and would
have done anything for help. Oprah’s show was in their first
season and they picked up my story. The rest speaks for itself.
take a moment to explain this?
STACEY I have my birthday – the day I was born – and I
have my second birthday… the day I decided to live. That day
is 9-11-01. The day, as I stated before, changed my life forever.
JAMIE There are many uneducated people out there
that state you took the easy way out. What do you want to
say to those uneducated people?
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9/26/07 12:14:36 PM
– The path of healing is not easy. The pain does not disappear with the
pounds. The pain of your lifetime begins with the weight loss and you have
to be as ready as possible. This is when the hard stuff really beings.” — Stacey Halprin
STACEY I say they need to become educated. You do
not have to be a scientist to get it. All you have to do is know
someone that suffers from obesity. The painful emotional and
physical life speaks for itself. It then becomes very clear that
surgery is a most difficult path. Surgery brings its own “bags”
with it. It is not easy. Once the weight comes off you have to
walk down a whole new path. The path of healing is not easy.
The pain does not disappear with the pounds. The pain of
your lifetime begins with the weight loss and you have to be
as ready as possible. This is when the hard stuff really begins.
JAMIE Stacey what has been the most challenging
hurdle with your weight loss?
STACEY Oh now you are pushing my buttons. My biggest
challenge has been dealing with my body image. I deal with it
daily. And in dealing with my body image it brings up all of the
“stuff.” So it is not just the hanging skin, the scars from plastic
surgery, it is allowing someone into your intimate world, that
is not easy. It is not that I am superficial about my body - it is
that I struggle with taking my clothes off and being intimate.
The beauty of having all the plastic surgery is that nobody
would ever guess I tilted the scale at 550 lbs., with my clothes
on. Under my clothes tells the true story of my battle. I have
to trust that a man can deal with that and that is the hardest
thing that I ever try to do. I’ve sent many men packing before
I would even give them that chance. I date guys for three or
four times and then sabotage the relationship so that I do not
have to face the possible reality of rejection. I am spending
hours with my therapist and I cry, I cry, I cry. I will not give up.
I understand that this process is for life and I will never, never,
give up, this is my vow!
JAMIE How did you and how do you face your demons?
STACEY Head on, on a daily basis. I try to balance the
pain with something new and wonderful every day - even if it
is something as simple as a daily stroll with my tot Pomeranian, Gertie, who was given to me by a childhood friend as
soon as she was sure I could walk a dog. I do not take this
new life for granted. I know the terror and the memory serves
me well. It keeps me clear and keeps me ready to face the
pain and the demons.
JAMIE In your book, you talk about the “fat shadow.”
What is the fat shadow and what does it mean to you?
STACEY Well, it is simple. I have this 500 pound shadow
that follows me. I see her often. It is a shadow of a 500 pound
woman, the woman that I used to be. Funny thing though, she
is real to me. I see her briefly when I sit in an airplane seat or
when I think about parking my car or when I sit in a restaurant
booth and especially when I look in the mirror. She used to be
there all the time now she comes and goes. As I deal with the
issues of my pain, she comes less often and that is good.
JAMIE Stacey, you have maintained your weight loss for
more than five years. This is a benchmark for of success for
most of us in the bariatric field. What do you attribute your
five year success to?
STACEY I work every single day to keep my weight off. I
work daily to change my behavior. It has not been easy but
I am doing it. I do it daily. I outline this in my book Winning
After Losing, it is the seven step journey to better health and
fitness. It addresses the issues that can paralyze you. The
steps assist you in redirecting your choices and decisions
to that you can fully participate in life. We, as obese people,
clearly do not have these skills, or we would not have allowed
ourselves to get to the point we do. Too often we are blindsided by our emotional issues that suddenly surface once
we cannot hide behind the weight. I had to learn that I am in
control. Granted, I hold the wheel with both hands, but I still
am the one holding the wheel. Bottom line, I had to change
the way that I think.
JAMIE Would you do anything different? If so, what?
STACEY Oh, yes, I would, many things. But the most im-
portant one is that I would have made the decision of weight
loss surgery long before I did. If I would have just listened to
the many people that counseled me on becoming healthy, if I
would have listened I would have been healthier sooner and I
would not have wasted so much of my life in the prison of my
mind and body and my environment.
JAMIE Are you afraid that you will regain your weight?
STACEY I had knee surgery and gained 20 pounds. After
surgery, I was a bit nervous, but I knew that I had changed my
behaviors and I also knew what I had to do. This is why it is
KEY that we learn to change habits and behaviors. Food was
not my problem, the way I dealt with it was. I am still working
to get the 20 pounds off and I even want to lose a litte more.
I do not listen to the odds, I beat them! Yes, the longer weight
is maintained, the better you get at reading the warning signs
that tell you that you are straying from your plan and need to
get back on track. We all have different warning signs, but all
red flags have one thing in common, you are doing something
different than what has been working and you know it. You
must understand those red flags and be ready to take action.
JAMIE Stacey, what about aftercare and support? How
important is this for you?
STACEY It is vital to not just me but to all weight loss
surgery patients. I am disappointed with most aftercare
programs. They usually have two paths - one for 0-6 month
patients and one for 6 months and after. They do not address
people two years, three years, four years and past. Most of
them meet once a month and that is not enough to change a
life time of bad habits and bad thinking. That is one of the
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reasons that I stopped going to
JAMIE Is there a secret to
support groups for “true support.”
success?
This lack of support is what led
STACEY Yes, and it comes
me to write Winning After Losfrom within. You must have
ing. I am also working with Focus
determination, commitment,
28. Focus 28 combines some of
and once and for all, deal with the
the best research and thinking in
pain and change your thinking.
physical and emotional health in
“Life isn’t about finding yourself.
order to provide bariatric patients
Life is about creating yourself.”
with a single, comprehensive and
Change your thinking by any and
integrated approach to balanced
all means that you have and never,
All my life I wanted a dog, the moment I became mobile enough
living. And, coming from a person
to walk one, my best friend from childhood handed me Gertie.
never, never give up!
who will always love food, I have
Gertie and I are inseparable, I never knew a love like this!
After the interview I reflected on
to say that their meal replacement
Stacey
and the last five years of her
shake is awesome. I have created
life.
It
led
me
to
stop
and
think
about
how often I have heard
many recipes around them that I love so much.
others say that weight loss surgery is the easy way out. I am
puzzled by such an incredibly dumb statement. I believe choosJAMIE Do you think you are at the finish line with your
ing to remain trapped in your body is the easy way out. Dealing
weight struggles?
with life after weight loss surgery is one of the most difficult
challenges one can undergo. Having been a bariatric nurse for
STACEY Absolutely not! There is no finish line, no satin
many years and having worked with thousands of patients, I
ribbon and no waving flags. I am not a before and I am not
have seen the pain that patients must face after surgery. I have
an after, I am a DURING and I always will be. As soon as I
counseled them, held them in my arms while they cried. I have
think there is a finish line that assumes it is over and working
witnessed friendships lost, families torn apart and marriages
on our eating disorder is never over. They did not staple my
fail. I have supported patients in hundreds of support group
mind when they stapled my stomach. The good news is we
sessions, and have watched them reach their victory and have
can continue to make it on a daily basis by making better
watched them fail. Easy, you have got to be kidding me!
choices than we did in the past. All that I can do is continue
Stacey Halprin admits her faults. She admits that she ate
to develop and maintain my mind for success. When we
her way to 500 pounds and takes full responsibility for her
believe we have reached the finish line is when the danger
actions. She appears to understand what it takes to change
zone is created.
behavior and she always remembers the reasons that got her
to 500 pounds in the first place. Stacey works every single day
JAMIE What advice to do give to those who currently are
to maintain her weight. She has found the key to success and
struggling with their mindset and to those that have not taken
understands success must be measured on a daily basis. The
the steps to achieve health?
path for her has been painful and difficult, yet her courage to
face her demons never wavered. She surrounded herself with
STACEY People that struggle with obesity – whether or
others that could help her on this journey. She surrounded hernot they have surgery – have to change their minds in order
self with positive thoughts and stayed the course even on the
to change their lives. They must learn to lose the weight and
days she ate the wrong foods and ate for the wrong reasons.
keep it off for good. Learning how to weigh consequences,
Stacey is clearly winning the daily struggle of weight mainbeing willing to accept responsibility for their actions and
tenance and weight regain after weight loss surgery. She is a
choices, learning how to face and handle problems instead of
statistic that we as bariatric health care providers should strive
denying and stuffing them with food, these are key to keeping
for… for all our patients. Provide the tools, provide the supthe weight off. The biggest difference in who I am today and
port, teach them how to be successful and empower them to
who I used to be is the way that I think. The battle is won from
become successful long-term. Surgery is just the first step…
the inside out, not the outside in. If anyone would have told me
the journey is life-long.
six years ago that losing over three hundred pounds would be
After all, as Stacey proudly states, “Anyone that wants to
the easier part of the things I had to do, I would have laughed
win this battle and is willing to do what it takes, no matter
in their face. As I stated, the pain does not disappear with the
what it takes, can do it. I was able to go from being nearly
pounds! Life hands us challenges and problems to solve and
immobile, trapped in my body and my home to living a full,
unless you learn to handle those things without overeating, you
active life, if I can do it anyone can... all things are possible!”
can guarantee you will be one of the dismal statistics of people
I agree with her… all things are possible. ■
who gain weight back. You are what you think.
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