forever young!

Out with the old and in with the New! . . . . . . .Fat chance, it’s still
the same old-same old. (You get what you pay for. Scribe)
FOREVER YOUNG!
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BY KIND FAVOR OF- ENDURO WORLD MAGAZINE
FOREVER YOUNG!
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January
17th Road Runners poker run.
18th CMA memorial run
30-31 South Riot, Graaf-Reinet
February
27-28th Great Fish Rally Port
Alfred Jenny 084 8297591
Impala Rally Hartebeespoort
Dam near Pretoria.
Bike SA 011 782 5521
FOREVER YOUNG!
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JANUARY
8th Rodney Hiles (P)
22nd Geoff Wilmers (G)
30th Jenny Moss (G)
Memo to our new and old farts
It is up to you to send me your Birth Dates.
It is also up to you to inform me when you
move from (S) silver to (G) Gold and (P)
platinum. (I do not have time to cut off your
legs and count the rings.) If you are (P)
Platinum, you don’t have to do anything you
have reached the top. Yay!
IF YOU THINK YOU ARE TOUGH, CHECK OUT
THESE DANEISH BIKERS.
WE DON’T HAVE BLACK-OUTS. WE
HAVE PREVIOUSLY LIT AREAS!
FOREVER YOUNG!
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Jiggs McDonald, NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster speaking in Ontario, says:
"I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Toronto . I
think it should be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs.
Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance."
"That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque; thereby promoting
tolerance from within the mosque.
We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy," and the other, a topless bar,
would be called "You Mecca Me Hot."
"Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue
pork restaurant, called " Iraq of Ribs."
"Across the street there could be a lingerie store called " Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret," with sexy
mannequins in the window modelling the goods.", and on the other side a liquor store called
"Morehammered."
"All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us." Yes we should
promote tolerance.
We were in slow-moving traffic the other day and the car in front of
us had a President Zuma rear window sticker on it, which read:
"Pray for Our President Zuma, Julius Malema, and Zimbabwean
Robert Mugabe... Ref:- Psalm 109:8". My husband's Bible was lying
on the dash board & he got it & opened it up to the scripture & read
it. He started laughing & laughing. Then he read it to me. I
couldn't believe what it said. I had a good laugh, too.
Psalm 109:8 "Let his days be few; and let another take his office. "
At last - we can voice a Biblical prayer for the entire ANC.
(Please start praying in earnest!)
Life just gets better as you get older, doesn't it!
I was in a News Cafe recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately
needed to fart.
The place was packed but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment, I timed
my farts to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel much better. I finished my
coffee and noticed everyone was staring at me.
I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my Ipod.
This is what happens when old people start using technology.
FOREVER YOUNG!
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COINCIDENCES
A farmer went to a local bar and ordered a glass of champagne.
The woman sitting next to him said, 'How about that? I just ordered
champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I
am celebrating.'
This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,' said the woman.'
'What a coincidence!' said the farmer. As they clinked glasses he
added: 'What are you celebrating?'
'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my
gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!'
'What a coincidence!' said the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and all last
year my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying eggs again.'
'That's great!' said the woman, 'How did your chickens become fertile?'
'I used a different cock,' he replied.
The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said 'what a coincidence!'
Wife texts husband at work on a cold winter's morning; "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back; "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later; "Computer really stuffed now."
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left
the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new
restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What's the name of that flower you
give to someone you love? You know the one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled,
'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
FOREVER YOUNG!
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Hi everybody, let’s hope the “New Year” is
one of fun and laughter for all of you.
I trust that you are all back in the saddle
and recovering from your amazing holidays.
Not much to report, except I cannot wait
for this years “End of year celebration.”
Who knows perhaps Rae will embark on a
voyage of exploration and discovery and
take some of you with her?
Stay on two wheels,
Ken.
Scribe: Ken Heath
Tel: 082 710 2534 for verbal abuse.
E-Mail: [email protected] for any
contributions, comments etc. (Please….please …please!!!!)
Lawyers: Legal Wise: “Don’t talk to me, talk to my
Lawyer!”
Ulysses Office
E-Mail: [email protected]
‘Disclaimer’
The opinions of the Scribe are not necessarily the product
of a sound mind and do not necessarily reflect the
opinions or values of Ulysses East London or any “Sane”
person!
FOREVER YOUNG!
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BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!
FOLLOWING MY REPORT ON LAST YEARS END OF YEAR PARTY, A WHOLE LOT OF
PHOTO’S OF THE EVENING ARRIVED FROM OLD FARTS THAT WERE A LITTLE SLOW
IN SENDING THEM IN.
Is Neville really swimming in a speedo?
Kings of Kidd’s Beach
That blerry traffic circle!
The start of the journey!
So glad that I am not taking a trip.
Encouraging “friends”.
I categorically deny that I ever . .
Sorry to rehash this Rae, but it
seems that you did what many
would have liked to have done.
Who knows, perhaps this year
you should hire a tour bus!
It’s an itsy bitsy, yellow,
polka dot speedo!!!
Don’t touch my bike!!
FOREVER YOUNG!
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WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While on route
home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspects his wife is having an
affair, and he wants to catch her in the act. For R100, the cabby agrees.
Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom. The husband
switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife in bed with another man!
The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head.
The wife shouts, 'Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money. HE paid for the
Porsche I gave you. HE paid for our new cabin cruiser. HE paid for your season tickets to
watch the matches. HE paid for our house at the lake. HE paid for your African Tour and
your 4x4. HE paid for our country club membership, and HE even pays the monthly dues!'
Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun.
He looks over at the cabby and says, 'What would you do?
The cabby replies, 'I'd cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold.'
After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic's swimming pool
was still full.
I made my girlfriend's dreams come true and married her in a castle. You wouldn’t have thought it
though from the miserable look on her face................... as we were bouncing around!
FOREVER YOUNG!
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