Untitled - learningtolovecancer.com

Transcription

Can You Really ‘Learn to Love Cancer’?
While most people fear hearing the word “cancer” just
about more than anything, Annabelle Bondar learned
to not only bravely face her diagnosis of breast cancer
but also to love it.
Through a challenging, roller coaster ride that was
her healing journey, Annabelle worked through her
cancer diagnosis with dignity and spirit and a determination that completely changed her life.
In her healing journal, Messages from the Heart:
Learning to Love Cancer, Annabelle shares her journey with you so you too can benefit and find grace in
the most challenging of circumstances.
“...reading Messages from the Heart: Learning to
Love Cancer will be like planting inspiring new seeds
in the garden of your heart and mind. It is a must for
anyone serious about harvesting a true and lasting
healing transformation.” Dr. John F. Demartini
To obtain your copy of Messages from the Heart:
Learning to Love Cancer, please visit
www.learningtolovecancer.com
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W hat People A re Say ing a bout
Messages f rom the Heart – Freeing
the Butter f ly Within
“Annabelle Bondar is truly an inspiration! It has been
several years now since I first met Annabelle at my
Breakthrough to Success event in Scottsdale, Arizona.
I’ve watched as she has healed and evolved – applying the
principles she has learned from the doctors and mentors
she has chosen – until she has become a transformational
leader in her own right. Now, through her workshops
and books, she shares her experiences and what she
has learned with others. If you have cancer or are looking to heal your mind body and spirit from any “disease,” Annabelle’s book is one that is meant to be read,
absorbed, and acted on. Heal your body, take back your
life, and get out there and live your dreams! If she can do
it, so can you.”
Jack Canfield
Coauthor of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series and
author of The Success Principles™
“This book is filled with gems of experience, heart,
wisdom, and loads of truth. I’ve known Annabelle for
many years, and I’ve watched, cheering from the sidelines, as she worked hard to heal from cancer, trained to
run a marathon, and reclaimed her life in an amazing
example of healing and transformation. This book is the
gift she shares with us all – and she shows you how to
walk that same road.”
Stephanie Dorchik, longtime friend
11-06-28 5:47 PM
“It was nine years ago when Annabelle first came into
the Hoffman Centre for Integrative Medicine here in
Calgary looking for help. She was sick and frightened,
but courageously determined to find answers to some
very tough questions. The toughest question? ‘Why
did I wake up one morning and discover I had breast
cancer?’ As we began to work together to discover the
root causes of her cancer, I was so impressed with her
focus, her commitment, and her willingness to change.
The result of all her hard work was a complete healing
from her cancer, and a burning desire to help others
do the same. This book shares the tools she worked
with at the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual
levels. It is my sincere hope that it will inspire you on
your own healing journey!”
Doctor Bruce Hoffman,
The Hoffman Centre for Integrated Medicine, Calgary
“Loaded with wisdom from the heart about healing, health, and survival, Messages from My Heart –
Freeing the Butterfly Within delivers gentle inspiration
and education, all packaged up in a truly touching
read. It is a perfect sequel to Messages from the Heart –
Learning to Love Cancer. Thank you, Annabelle.
Claire McDermott, colon cancer survivor
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“Sometimes in life, we are so driven by other than
what really truly matters to us. In this book, we are
emphatically reminded that we must choose what
matters in order to live a life of purpose and fulfillment. May this book guide you in finding what matters to you.”
Eileen Ashmore, MBA, Strategist, Planner, and Coach,
E.M. ASHMORE & ASSOCIATES INC.
“Annabelle Bondar is a unique blend of soft power
and unstoppable might. Her commitment to her
profound and important work and message is an
inspiration to me and to anyone who is serious about
achieving big dreams. Her beautiful book will both
touch your heart and inspire your soul.”
Marcia Wieder, CEO/founder, Dream University
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MESSAGES
FROM THE
HEART
freeing the butterfly within
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MESSAGES
FROM THE
HEART
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freeing the butterfly within
Annabelle Bondar
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Messages from the Heart: Freeing the Butterfly Within
©Annabelle Bondar 2011
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Bondar, Annabelle M., 1951Messages from the heart : freeing the butterfly within, book 2 /
Annabelle
Bondar.
Also issued in electronic format.
ISBN 978-0-9737094-1-4
1. Bondar, Annabelle M., 1951- --Health. 2.
Breast--Cancer--Patients--Canada-Biography. 3. Breast--Cancer--Treatment--Popular works. 4. Self-care,
Health-Popular works. 5. Motivation (Psychology)--Popular works. I. Title.
RC280.B8B652 2011
C2010-907752-0
362.196’994490092
Cover design by Tammie Neumiller, Staff Ala Carte
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Dedication
This book is dedicated to my new little granddaughter, Lily Darwyn,
born March 26, 2010. I love you SOOO much! Your middle name
means “friend,” and your beautiful, innocent smile already lights
up the lives of your family and little friends. Your life, Lily, will be
enriched by the love that surrounds you from your mom and dad,
your cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, great-grandparents,
and, of course, Sid and Woody, your two special cats.
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Acknowledgments
A wonderful world of outstanding people came into my life
to assist me with this book.
Sona Khosla – With love and gratitude, thank you for your
friendship and for your expertise in the design of my first
book, Messages from the Heart: Learning to Love Cancer.
Thank you, Sona, for recommending our design specialist,
Mieka West, for this special book.
Eileen Ashmore – Thank you for your expertise and dedication in assisting with organizing, formatting, and writing
this book and for continually encouraging me to complete
things in a reasonable time frame. Claudia Volkman,
our editor, gave us tremendous stride on the editorial side,
moving quickly, efficiently, and very graciously. And to my
assistant, Tammie Neumiller, thank you so much for your
unfailing administrative assistance, and for simply just
being you.
Dr. John Demartini – you are truly there for your students
in the world of human behaviour, universal laws, and personal development. I am deeply honored to be a student of
yours and today an associate. You are a mentor and friend.
In the cancer world, your work has been a magnificent gift
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in my life for developing a deep level of understanding
and gratitude. Your work has shown me how to neutralize
the emotional area of cancer and live with an open heart.
Thank you for writing the Foreword literally within twentyfour hours at a time when you were so busy yourself!
Dr. Bruce Hoffman – an inspiration in the field of integrative health and an expert in the field of cancer, thank you
for encouraging me to be the best I can be. You go the extra
mile with your knowledge and dedication to your patients.
Jack Canfield – the very best in the world for helping others
build success strategies, thank you for encouraging me to
ask for what I want.
Marcia Wieder – thank you – you are a master of enrolment in a wonderful movement of dreamers, assisting them
to find their way by separating the ego from the heart.
To my family and extended family – there are so many
wonderful things for us to be grateful for. Each of you
enriches my life. To my children and grandchildren, you
keep my world a very cozy place, and I love all of you from
the bottom of my heart. You encourage me to be a part of
your lives and, at the same time, we all have our own values
and things that we love to do to make a difference in the
world today. You, my family, are many beautiful butterflies living free
to be yourselves.
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To my husband of almost forty years, what a journey –
thank you for being you! Your work of so many years, your
caring way with your favourite dog, Nella, your humour
(which I still do not understand but sometimes laugh at
anyway), and your love of quiet time are all qualities I
deeply appreciate and love in you. This book is a follow-up to Messages from the Heart:
Learning to Love Cancer. It is my hope and dream for
everyone who reads this book that simple changes in your
life will add years of health and wellness for you and your
family. Taking time to enjoy the simple pleasures of deep
breathing, visualization, meditation, nature, movement,
journaling, exercise, eating organically, drinking plenty of
water, reducing stress, and doing what you love are some
of the most important things for reaching optimum health
and well-being.
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Thank You to Dr. Hoffman
For the last eight years, since my cancer diagnosis, I have
been a patient of Dr. Bruce Hoffman. I am very much
involved in my own healing process, and I continue to learn
from the protocol that has been created for me. My health is
my number one value. It often takes something that is lifealtering to make you realize the importance of your health.
Dr. Hoffman’s clinic looks at the mind/body/spirit connection to health and well-being. Through Dr. Hoffman’s
decades of practice and continual study, he incorporates
the tools for healing in an integrative way. This becomes a
lifestyle, and I am delighted today to have the tools to listen
to my body when there is even just a whisper that something doesn’t feel right.
I was using a wonderful healing tool, journaling, as my
body, mind, and spirit became stronger after cancer. Dr.
Hoffman encouraged me to type up my journaling messages written each and every week. He shared with me
the importance of the work I was doing. Thanks to Dr.
Hoffman’s encouragement, this led me to the creating of
my first book, Messages from the Heart: Learning to Love
Cancer. Dr. Hoffman, thank you so much for your continual
support and your expertise in the area of blended care and
optimum health and wellness.
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Contents
Foreword xvii
Annabelle’s Message from the Heart xx
Sema xxiii
C h a p t e r On e : Today 1
Our Little Angels by Jeanette Paterson 6
C h a p t e r T wo : Ou r Po t e n t i a l 9
Accomplishment Is Only the
Beginning, Not the End 12
You Can Succeed 13
Surfing by Dr. Demartini 15
C h a p t e r T h r e e : Bu i l di n g f rom W i t h i n 17
Preparation: The Importance of
Positive Thinking 17
What Is Cancer… Really? 20
My Mother’s Cancer by Francie Nobleman 24
Choosing Your Tools 26
Planning Is Key 26
Effective Ways to Build Your Plan 29
Your To-Do List Worksheet 31
Visualizing 37
Attracting 38
Love Yourself First 40
Journaling 40
Responsibility 41
Jill Bennett’s Story 43
Mentoring 44
How to Find a Mentor 46
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Athena Starwoman by Dr. John Demartini 47
C h a p t e r Fou r : L i f e Pr i n c i pl e s f or
Op t i m u m H e a lt h a n d W e l l n e s s 4 9
Life Principles 49
A Love Letter to Yourself 52
Action Steps 61
Great Wisdom Comes from Great Lessons
of the Heart! by Susan Zimmerman 66
C h a p t e r F i v e : S e v e n S t e ppi n g S t on e s
f or G e n t l e I n s pi r at i on 6 9
The Demartini Method™ 72
C h a p t e r S i x : A Da i ly Pro t oco l f o r
Op t i m u m H e a lt h a n d W e l l n e s s 77
My Daily Protocol 78
Healing Meditation 79
Protein Shake Recipe 80
Garden Zucchini Pottage 82
My Weekly Protocol 84
My Ninety-Day Protocol 85
My Biannual Protocol 86
My Annual Protocol 86
Supplements for the Mind/Body Connection 87
What If You Go Off Your Protocol? 89
C h a p t e r S e v e n: Roa d bl oc k s A l on g t h e Way 93
Fear of Failure 95
How to Overcome Adversity 97
Unconditional Love 99
Have a Backup Plan 100
Pay Attention to Who and What
Surrounds You 101
The Importance of Perseverance 103
Face Your Roadblocks and Overcome
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Any Adversity 106
C h a p t e r E igh t: T h e r e I s No B e g i n n i n g
a n d T h e r e I s No E n d 10 8
Amazing Things I’ve Seen Others Do 109
A Challenge 111
A Thank-You Card from Sona 113
Dream Coaching 114
The “Dream Coach” Philosophy of
Coaching by Marcia Wieder 116
One Day at A Time 120
A ppe n di x : S t o r i e s f r om R e a l Pe opl e 117
Gaylene Redmen’s Story about
Her Mother, Annette 118
Gary Bricker’s Story about His Wife, Sherna 119
Elaine Amos’s Story about Her Mom,
Martha Jean Hagel 122
Sandra Bueckert’s story about Her
Mother, Edna Dawson Paul 124
Leanor Sciullo’s Story 125
A Piece of Cake by Janet Matthews 128
My Story of Surviving Colon
Cancer by Linda Kopec 134
Diane’s Story 148
Women Cry by Author Unknown 150
Grant McReynold’s Tribute 153
A Dedication to Paula 157
I Am Me by Virginia Satir 164
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Foreword
Dr. John Demartini
Annabelle Bondar is an inspired woman who has let
nothing stop her from achieving her vision of helping other people and serving those who have been
diagnosed with cancer. Through her books, workshops, and programs, she brings a new awareness
to their lives. When they hear Annabelle’s message
of hope and possibility they are able to re-empower
themselves and take control of their own physiology,
thereby engaging the greatest healing force of all –
the healer within.
But Annabelle’s transformation from being faced
with breast cancer herself to becoming a transformational leader and teacher in her own right did
not happen overnight. It was a journey that began in
2001 and is today moving into high gear.
I first met Annabelle in 2002 when she attended
my signature program called The Breakthrough
Experience ®, where I shared with her my personal
transformation methodology called the Demartini
Method®. Initially, she was very challenged by the
directness of the method and uncomfortable with
portions of the program which required her to face
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a lot of issues deep within. But she persevered and
experienced her heart-opening breakthrough. Today
I’m inspired to say that she is now an associate – a
competent facilitator of the Demartini Method™
– whereby she is able to take the great mission she
has for this work and for her message and share
it with others. In addition, she has been inspired
to create her own specific program wherein she
coaches cancer survivors into finding and engaging
this healer within. She has been persistent in letting
nothing stop her from her objective of bringing that
methodology and her important message to all those
that need it. The book you now hold in your hand is
proof of that dedication.
Annabelle now teaches what I teach, that disease is
a feedback system and a guide to living an authentic,
genuine, inspired, grateful long life. Finding meaning in our dis-ease and using it to live a purposeful
life initiates the healing process once we begin. The
symptoms of dis-ease, of course, are reminders of
this yearning we all have – to get out and live an
inspired and authentic life. Although we must certainly take care of our physical body and address the
issues within it, with a doctor who resonates with us,
at the end of the day we are reminded that the greatest healers of all are still love and gratitude. In this
book, Annabelle brings that simple basic truth back
to people so they can start to find hope and inspiration again.
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I’m inspired by Annabelle and the work she is
doing today. Messages from My Heart – Freeing
the Butterfly Within is her gift to you. Between the
covers of this book are secrets – secrets that will help
you live true to yourself, true to your dreams, and
true to your God-given right to a state of vital wellbeing and health and a long, productive, love-filled
life. These are secrets that she had to learn the hard
way, but from her heart she now freely shares them
with you.
If you are facing cancer or any other disease, read
this book, take it to heart, follow her advice, and
follow in her footsteps. Fill yourself with gratitude,
love yourself with all your heart, hold your inspiring vision of vital health before you like a guiding
star, and keep shining no matter what. Just like
Annabelle, you can heal yourself, recreate your life,
and start living the magnificent life of your dreams.
Dr. John Demartini
Best-selling author of
Count Your Blessings – The Healing Power
of Gratitude and Love
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Annabelle’s Message from the Heart
I wrote this book for you, my reader, and this letter is
from my heart to yours.
Messages from the Heart – Freeing the Butterfly
Within is about how I discovered the beauty in healing from breast cancer by becoming impassioned
and focused on creating optimum health and wellness in my own life. Because of this, I am living the
life of my dreams. If you are healing from cancer, I’d
like to inspire you and show you how you can do this
too.
As a cancer survivor, I realized that if I was to discover the beauty in the healing journey, I had to look
at every aspect of my life in order to find balance.
This included looking at my family, my relationships,
my finances, my spiritual life, my work life, my emotions, and, of course, my physical body. All these
areas weave together to make a rich and textured
composite called… your life. Part of my journey has
involved discovering my own unique value system
and determining what is most important to me in
my life. For you, your most important value might
be your family. Or it might be your work, or perhaps
your spiritual life. You may discover that you want
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to focus on other areas of your life, such as spending
more time in nature, or perhaps reading, or getting
more physical exercise, eating organic foods, or even
saving more for your future. Once identified, these
desires will all be easily achieved by putting some
simple goals in place.
Here is a beautiful example. Let’s say you decide
that you want to spend more time enjoying nature.
You can actually mix three things together – you can
include some physical exercise by hiking or perhaps
paddling a canoe, listening to the sounds of nature
around you, and taking a healthy piece of fruit with
you to enjoy along the way. How will you feel when
you get home? I promise that you’ll have a smile on
your face and you’ll be thanking yourself. And next
time, you might decide to walk a little further, or
take a friend with you, or take ten minutes and sit
quietly on a rock to listen to the gentle sounds of
nature around you. You might choose to have this
experience at a different time of day, or take a different path to see different sights and spend some time
thinking about someone you love to be with. This
fills your heart with love, the most healing experience of all.
As you focus on doing these things, you may start
experiencing a feeling of gentle inspiration. As you
keep doing them, you’ll continue to feel more and
more gentle inspiration. You will also begin to experience more wellness in your life.
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Within you there is a beautiful essence yearning
to be free and authentic, and I call this essence the
butterfly within. As you continue to nurture yourself,
the butterfly within will continue to awaken. As you
free the butterfly within, you will allow the songs of
your heart to start leading you to experience more
gentle inspiration with each small step you take. The
butterfly within will free you and lift you to your
dreams, as it has done with me.
My inspiration is all about sharing my journey
with you. It is my hope that you will resonate with
one of the many messages from my heart, and that
this will inspire you to love yourself enough to realize your own dreams and begin to take steps toward
achieving them!
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SEMA
Lovely and elegant
She walked gently through our hearts
Her quick, beautiful smile
Lighting up our lives
Concerned more for others
Helping, listening, kind and steady
Loving with honesty, being only herself
Always a good sport, cheerful and fun
Interested, admired, trusted
And loved
By all whose lives she touched.
From the family of Sema Belzberg
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· CHAPTER 1 ·
Today
T
oday, I am experiencing the joy and accomplishment of being cancerfree for ten years. But my
life story and my journey began back when I was
a little girl learning to ride a pony. Every Saturday
morning my dad would drive me and my girlfriend
to a local stable. We took a total break from family
and studying and spent the entire day in the open
field with our horses. We began first with just walking them, and then we learned to trot. As we developed trust in the horses, we began to gallop around
the field for hours on end. By doing this, we experienced the complete freedom of nature with a beautiful, majestic animal taking us on an adventure every
time.
At the same time, we were responsible for ourselves
and our meals and for feeding and grooming the
horses. During these years, we learned to love and
respect the environment that magically became ours
every Saturday. We also learned to love and accept
ourselves and the horses, and we took care of them.
During breaks, we would remove their saddles and
blankets, give them salt and water, feed them carrots,
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pat them, groom them – and, of course, take time to
have lunch for ourselves. After lunch, we’d mount
again, ready for another experience in the wilderness, where we surrendered to the beauty all around
us and the trust we had in our horses.
We had the same protocol every Saturday, and on
that day, our horses were our number one focus. We
trusted them. Throughout the day, we had tons of
energy and absolutely no fear. I believe this experience gave me lifelong lessons in friendship and an
appreciation and love for nature.
Later in life, when we are faced with difficulties, it
is these past experiences and lessons that will give
us inspiration, courage, and an ounce of prevention
for handling what is before us. This can be an ounce of
prevention that lasts a lifetime. Maybe it was simply how
we grew up. In the 1950s, life was so simple, without
cell phones, computers, or even television. Today, my
story is one of returning to the simplicity of life and
ridding myself of the enormous stress created by the
fast pace of today’s busy world. These stresses have
become our collective toxic burdens.
Ten years ago, I was working out five days a
week with my trainer at a health club in downtown
Calgary. I was trim and toned. I had good energy. I
thought I was in the best physical condition of my
life. Generally, I finished up my workout with situps. One day during that final part of my workout,
I blurted out in fatigue and frustration, “Dan, I just
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can’t do these sit-ups!” When I got home, I took a
shower, and it was then that I felt the lump in my
right breast. It was very hard, and I knew there was
something wrong. My heart began to sink.
When I called my family doctor, she sent me for a
mammogram to the same clinic where I’d been told
after my last mammogram that I didn’t need another
one for five years. But now they just kept taking more
and more pictures, and my heart continued to sink
deeper. Later when the call came from my doctor
saying she wanted to see me in her office, I knew
there was a serious problem. It was then that I really
went into heavy stress.
The mammogram showed a lump all right, so
my doctor booked me for an immediate biopsy
with Doctor Way, who specialized in breast cancer
surgery. At first, I was told that the biopsy looked
good, and they thought everything was fine. But
this turned out to be false hope, as the lump wasn’t
benign after all but rather a cancerous tumor that
needed to be removed right away.
I did not know what to do. After receiving the test
results, Dr. Way was confident, but not sure, he could
save my breast with a lumpectomy rather than a
mastectomy.
Have you ever had a time in your life when you had
to dig really deep? I’m sure you have – we all have.
Prior to this, I’d had very few visits to doctors and
only one surgery to have my gallbladder removed. So
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for weeks I had to dig really deep, with not knowing
that the doctor would save my breast and everything
would be fine.
On the day of my surgery, an emergency caused
it to be delayed. There I was, sitting in that hospital
room, hooked up to an IV pump, just waiting. My
family was also standing by uneasily, so after assuring them I would be all right, I sent them home.
Dr. Way was able to save my breast with a lumpectomy. There was very little pain with the surgery
because the breast has very little muscle. I was supposed to go home that same day, but due to the delay,
an overnight stay was required. My journey of healing was beginning.
If something difficult happens in your life where
you are forced to make a decision regarding your
health, first find a doctor you resonate with, one you
trust who is knowledgeable and sincerely cares about
your health. Find a doctor who not only treats the
physical symptoms but also knows the true meaning
of integrating the mind/body/spirit in transformational healing. This is what I call “discovering the
beauty in healing.” For me, it was finding Dr. Bruce
Hoffman and the Hoffman Centre. Because I trusted
him, I surrendered to Dr. Hoffman’s care.
If you’ve just been diagnosed with cancer, my
message to you from my heart is to take a deep
breath, get a second opinion, and visit www.learningtolovecancer.com, where I share what it feels like
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to be diagnosed with cancer. Just like you, I know
the indescribable feeling of hearing the shocking
news that you have breast cancer. But you also need
to know that with hard work, determination, and
knowledge, by taking responsibility and making your
health your top priority today, you’ll join the many people
who are living well and recovering fully from cancer.
I am an example of this; here I am in the prime of
my life, living to the fullest! In looking at the mind/
body/spirit connection and not just the symptoms,
you too will discover the true beauty in the journey
of healing from cancer.
Today – and every day – I live my commitment to
take optimal care of my mind, body, and spirit, and
I trust the way I am living. I have no fear that cancer
will return; instead, I fill myself with the certainty
that I am healed. I have learned to surrender to the
beauty of healing the mind, body, and spirit into
being a wholesome, healthy, human being.
My life now is about trust and surrender, which is
what I learned in childhood riding my pony all those
Saturdays with my girlfriend. Today, my life is about
a shift and a transformation into what’s important to
me.
This transformational shift starts with looking at
your own potential. It’s time to get started!
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Ou r L it tle A nge ls
Jeanette Paterson
My mom and dad were of French descent, and I was
born into a family of ten children where I was the
third eldest. My mom, an only child, bore thirteen
children over sixteen years. Three of those children
died at birth, but my mother lived to be ninety-five
years old.
Because my mother gave birth to so many children
and, just like my mother, I was a good Catholic, I
knew I would have a few myself. My husband Ralph
and I had three beautiful daughters before having
three sons. When our oldest daughter was six, I
gave birth to identical twin boys on May 18, 1965.
We named our twins Michael Patrick and Mark
Anthony.
While still in the hospital, they both contracted an
infection and lived for only three days before dying
of pneumonia. The doctor explained that because
they were identical it was the same as having one
body – a “phenomenon,” he called it. An autopsy
showed that there was something wrong with their
white blood cells, which is why they couldn’t fight
the infection. Had they been born at home, they
might have lived for a number of years, but then they
would have contracted leukemia. At that time, there
were no bone marrow transplants, and so they would
have died.
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My family sees it as a blessing that they were taken
so soon after their birth. As difficult as it was, had
they lived for eight or ten years and then contracted
leukemia and died, it would have been far more difficult to bear. It was very hard to deal with their loss,
but we still had four other children to look after.
Time heals all wounds.
Then came the breast cancer.
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To purchase Messages From The Heart: Freeing The Butterfly Within, please visit our
website www.itsmeannabelle.com.
11-06-28 5:46 PM

Untitled - learningtolovecancer.com

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Dermascope, May 2014

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