spring is here - First Baptist Church of Glenarden
Transcription
spring is here - First Baptist Church of Glenarden
Grace First Baptist Church of Glenarden Women’s Ministry Volume 8, Issue 1 Spring 2012 Magazine By Women for Women SPRING IS HERE Revitalize, Renew and Rejuvenate Moving Forward Women’s Developing Women Activities: Women’s Fellowship, 8:15 a.m the first Saturday of the month at the Ministry Center except June, August and October -Saturday, May 5, 2 p.m., Women Developing Women Groups Hats, Heels and Handbags High Tea, Worship Center -Saturday, June 9, 8:15 a.m., Combined Men’s and Women’s Fellowship, Worship Center -Saturday, June 9, 10 a.m., Annual Health and Fitness Expo, Worship Center -Saturday, July 7, Women’s Fellowship, Sept. 1, Saturday, Nov. 3, Sat. and Dec. 1 Grace Magazine By Women for Women Features Director Family Life Ministries Department & Women’s Ministry Group: First Lady Trina Jenkins Editorial Director: Barbara Holt Streeter Managing Editors: Keisha White and Gervonna Williams Department Writers: Fabulous Finds......................................................................... 7 Jessica Davis, Mary Davisson Norma L.Day-Vines, Sade Dennis, Denita Johnson, Connie Pulliam, Michelle Singletary, Mildred Stokes, Barbara Holt Streeter and Mia Waldron Contributing Writers: Mommy, I am Back Home......................................................... 8 Ebonee Davis, Felicia Johnson, Judy Mitchell and Marion Ann Wright Lead Copy Editor: Verna Smith Moving Out: The Transition to Marriage.................................. 9 Copy Editors: Marguerite Brown and LaLeeta Hackett-Taylor Renew Your Skin the Healthy and Natural Way: A Look at Organic Skin Care and Cosmetics.................. 15 Lead Editor: Marilyn Stackhouse Editors: Latrice Davis, Cassandra Logan, Marilyn Mapp, Judy Mitchell, Gloria Nelson and Takea Norris Departments First Lady’s Touch............................................................................ 2 Add Your Money Wisely................................................................... 3 It’s Tea Time...................................................................................... 4 Proofreaders: Mary Brown, Veronica Collins, Sandra Davis, Nicole Irby, Iris Perry and Mia Waldron Creative Director: Everyday Etiquette........................................................................... 6 Darlene Jones Powell Beauty From the Inside Out............................................................10 Financial/Production Coordinator Health..............................................................................................12 Keisha White Tasty Treats......................................................................................13 Photography Youth/Young Adult..........................................................................14 Women’s Ministry at a Glance........................................................16 My Testimony: Hagar Teen Mom..................................................16 My Testimony: Marion Ann Wright..............................................17 Women’s Ministry Focus Studies.................................................18 Parenting.........................................................................................20 Inspirational ...................................................................................22 Reflections.......................................................................................25 Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org Insana Collins Photography Editor Sade Dennis Contact Grace at [email protected] Ministry Statement: Grace Magazine is a lifestyle Christian women’s publication produced by First Baptist Church of Glenarden’s Women’s Ministry. The magazine features inspiring articles, ministry spotlights and information to empower women in every season of their lives. 1 FIRST LADY’S Spring is here! Revitalize, Renew and Rejuvenate Every living creature needs nourishment, but it takes more than sustaining the body to meet our personal obligations and professional commitments. The wear and tear on our bodies can often seem challenging, leaving us overtaxed, overwhelmed and in need of revival. In this spring edition of Grace, take a moment to “revitalize, renew and rejuvenate” your mind, body and soul. In our “Tea Time” segment, you’ll discover why it’s important to take some time to renew and restore old friendships or connect with someone new. Throughout this issue, I hope you find ways to re-invigorate your entrepreneur spirit to jump start a new business or rebrand your image. Elevate your style or change your look for less with Grace’s thrifty makeovers. Get into physical shape, dance and renew your mind with a serene spa day. Find a new restaurant, indulge (sparingly) in a decadent dessert or try one of the Tasty Treat recipes. Included are articles on how to reconnect with teenagers, manage the changes that come with young adults returning and the transition from singleness to marriage. You will also learn how to support our sisters and youth in need, specifically as we explore a three-part series on bullying in our parenting tips segment. This spring, take time to reconnect, revitalize and renew your mind, body and spirit as you tap into the life of someone else. You’ll be glad you did. As always, share your comments or ideas with us at [email protected]. Until next time, walk in peace and love. With the sweet love of Jesus, First Lady Trina Jenkins 2 Grace Magazine | By Women for Women ADD YOUR MONEY WISELY In 2012, finally pay off credit cards with the ’Debt Dash’ method By Michelle Singletary Most of us have made promises to do something better. My home office is still cluttered after I promised — as one of my 2012 New Year’s resolutions — to keep it tidy. It was clean for a while. Now it’s a hot mess again. of paying off debts similar to running a 100-meter dash, a quick race. You start by attacking — and I mean ruthlessly — the debt with the lowest balance to get rid of it as soon as possible. But this is the year, right? This year, I’m going to keep my office uncluttered. Or maybe 2012 is the year you’re going to take that step to get rid of your debt. I’ve found in working with individuals and couples that when they can knock off a bill quickly, it motivates them to press on and aggressively tackle their remaining debts. Are you ready to change your financial life? It’s difficult, but you can do it. On the Debt Dash, you list your debts and then take any extra money you have — say, from reducing expenses or from a second job — and apply it to the debt with the lowest balance while making the minimum payments on the others. When you’ve paid off the first debt, apply the full payment amount from the first debt to the one with the next lowest balance, adding any extra money you can, until that one is paid off. You continue paying the debts this way until they are all gone. A couple in California, Felix and Sandy (they asked that I not use their last name), wrote to me just before the end of December and requested that I be their accountability partner in getting rid of almost $49,000 in debt on three credit cards. I’ve agreed to help them keep their promise to eliminate the debt by the end of the year. “I am a great fan of yours but a lousy applicator of your advice,” Felix wrote. “This new year though, my wife and I have a plan to pay down debt and wanted to give you our starting point and report back to you one year from now to give you our progress. We made some lousy decisions in the past, and so now we have to correct them.” Here’s where they stand now: • Visa Gold: $17,151. • Visa Platinum: $19,158. • American Express: $12,569. “Not pretty, I know, but we are determined this year to pay them off,” Felix said. There are a number of ways to pay down your debt. One way in particular I call the “Debt Dash Plan,” which I wrote about in my recent book, “The Power to Prosper.” It’s a way Here are some additional tips for the Debt Dash: • Don’t beat yourself up. “How did we get into so much debt? I know it started when we bought our new house three years ago,” Felix said. “We put some big purchases for the house and some camera equipment I purchased for my business on some of the cards. And the rest? Your guess is as good as mine. That’s the sad part. Some of it could have been avoided if we had listened to your advice about want versus need.” Learn from the past, but move forward with hope. You can do this. • Don’t leave off any debts. Put all your debts on the list, except perhaps your mortgage. Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org • It’s okay to ignore the interest rate. I know that some will criticize you for using this method of debt reduction. They will argue that it’s better to pay the debts with the higher interest rates first. Mathematically, it does make sense. But it ignores the psychological reasons people get into debt. Folks get energized when they’re able to quickly cross off a debt from their list. This, in turn, often helps them rush through their debt payoff and they don’t end up paying much more in interest than if they started with the debts that had the higher rates. • If two debts are about the same, the debt carrying the higher interest rate is attacked first. • Inform your creditor that your extra payments are to be put toward the principal and not counted as an extra payment. In fact, you might want to write a separate check aside from your regular payment. I’ve asked Felix and Sandy to send me updates so I can track their progress. But I have a challenge for you. Don’t be a spectator. If you’ve got credit-card debt, join this couple on their debt dash and let me know how you’re doing, too. Readers can write to Michelle Singletary at The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW,Washington, D.C. 20071. Her e-mail address is [email protected]. Questions are welcomed, but because of the volume of mail, personal responses may not be possible. 3 Maintaining Friendships By Mary Davisson What does it really mean to be connected? How does one get connected? When you are a part of something, someone, a group or an organization, how important is it to remain connected? Have you ever had a relationship where you thought you and the other person would be “BFF,” best friends – forever and the relationship took another turn? Perhaps you had a friendship that became stagnant and you thought it would stay that way. Then God miraculously renewed it and now you are closer than ever. Or perhaps, you met a new sister and you just clicked. It feels like you’ve known her your entire life and now the two of you are inseparable. We gathered six ladies – Kimberly Anderson, 35; Jonesie Gerald, 52; Keira Jones, 42; Brenda Jordan, 72; Adrienne Rodgers, 52; and Chantell Smith, 39 – who enthusiastically shared their insights about connecting with new friends and reconnecting with old acquaintances. New Relationships: Divine connection with the new Grace: Where and how did you meet? Jones: Smith and I officially met in the church doctrine class. However, a few months before, I had seen Jones working out at the gym in Ft. Meade, Md. Smith: After we became friends, Jones admitted that she admired 4 the way I carried myself and my strengths. Grace: What was the law of attraction between you? Jones: I have a tendency to attract African-Americans who have strong personalities and I immediately saw these qualities in Smith. Smith: It was Keira’s discipline, no-nonsense attitude, focus, drive and commitment to pursuing God. Our backgrounds are very similar; she is retired military and I am an active military member preparing to retire. Also, both of us previously lived in Florida and worshiped at the same church prior to joining First Baptist Church of Glenarden. Grace: How does God factor in you becoming friends? Jones: I feel God brought us together because He knows we can’t travel this journey without having someone help us along the way. Every now and then, we need someone to encourage us and that is one of Smith’s strengths. Where I am weak, she is strong and vice versa. I pray that we will allow God to show us His purpose for our lives. I truly want God to show me how to love and support her in every way of her Christian journey. Smith: I believe our differences complement each other in a practical and spiritual way. I am more people oriented and vocal than she is. I can see God putting us together to grow and sharpen each other on our spiritual journey as Grace Magazine | By Women for Women ministers as well as sisters, but also to be able to draw from one another. Grace: Where do you see the relationship going from here? Jones: I must admit, I am a little apprehensive when it comes to allowing people into my inner space. However, I pray that in spite of that, God will knit Chantell and me closer together. Because of me, I think the relationship probably isn’t as close as it could be. One of my weaknesses is I have a tendency to sit back and watch what people do because I feel some people put up a front when it comes to friendship. I, on the other hand, take my relationships very seriously. When I befriend someone this means I trust the person with my heart and offer total support. Smith: I see us being each other’s bridesmaids, friends on the mission fields together and sisters for each other’s journey. Renewed Relationships: Divine renewed connection Grace: How is your relationship different now than in the beginning? Gerald: The relationship with my friend, Kimberly, has gone through significant changes since we initially met. At first it was a family friendship. Our families had a lot in common and we got along really well. Through that our friendship began to grow. However, I believe it Tea Time Second row: (Left-right) Adrienne Rogers, Jonesie Gerald and Chantell Smith Front row: (Left-right) Brenda Jordan, Kimberly Anderson and Kiera Jones was during the 2011 First Baptist’s Women’s Retreat that we became really close. We started to open up to each other. The trust built and before we knew it, we had shared stories we’ve never shared with anyone else. It was then we became true sisters for each other’s journey. lieve it is because we know that we have each other’s back. We both had challenges in certain areas and having a sister help you get through them one step at a time has made all the difference in the world. We are honest with each other, hold the other accountable and cheer on each other. Anderson: My relationship with Anderson: I have seen Jonesie’s confidence grow in God. She is not looking to the right or to the left, but is focused on what God is saying for her to do. She wants to do the will of God, and waits for God to answer rather than doing her own thing. I’ve also seen her passion for people who don’t know God. She has a love for them, reaches out to them, teaches and witnesses to them about Christ. Jonesie has grown so much since the beginning of our friendship. I feel like we are more open now than we’ve ever been before. We are very transparent in our friendship, knowing that we can TRUST one another with how we truly feel about something and without the feelings of judgment or criticism. I don’t have to put on a mask; she allows me to be myself. Our relationship is genuine. Grace: What are some of the changes you see in each other? Gerald: I think there is a boldness that we didn’t have before. I be- Grace: How do you see God in the relationship? Gerald: Wow! He is all over it. I read a quote once that said, “A true friendship is a gift from God.” Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org I truly believe that God has orchestrated our relationship. That’s from how we met to how Kimberly and her family became part of the First Baptist family, to how God is using them in ministry. I also believe that God has used Kimberly to show me His love during some very trying times in my life. Had I not had her to speak godly wisdom into the situation, I wouldn’t have made it. It was important to know that she cared, understood, loved me unconditionally and was available. Anderson: I see a divine connection. I have had the strongest connection with her since the day we met. When I think of God renewing something, I think of God making it better, making it stronger. We are building a bond He has joined together. With this friendship He is teaching me how to be a better friend and to know what true friendship is. Only God could have done this. This is where I see God in the relationship and He continues to grow and renew it each day. Grace: What do you enjoy doing together now? Gerald: Talking, laughing, eating and just spending time together. Kim is an absolute riot, a great listener and a fantastic cook! Anderson: Laughing, talking, shopping, being free in our relationship and seeing what God is going to do in our lives. continued on page 23 5 Everyday EtiQuette Tea Etiquette – Tips for Your Next Tea By Barbara Holt Streeter Tea parties – an afternoon tea or high tea – are both opportunities to celebrate friendship, and an occasion where etiquette, poise and grace can be exhibited. As little girls, many of us dressed up in our hats, heels and handbags with our doll babies as our special guests. Now, as adults, you can enjoy your tea time as you meet new friends and build lasting relationships. To prepare for a tea as a hostess or guest, here are some tea tips that will help you enjoy dining with your sister friends: • After arriving and being seated, the first thing you should do is place the napkin on your lap. If you are wearing gloves, remove them before touching your food or drink. • Place your purse on your lap under your napkin. Or if it is a larger bag, under your chair. • • • 6 Always follow the lead of the hostess. She will either serve everyone at the party or invite everyone to serve themselves. Place your teaspoon at the six o’clock position of the teacup, and softly roll the tea towards the twelve o’clock position two or three times, without stirring. Do not allow the spoon to hit the inside of the teacup. Do not twist the teabag string around the spoon. Place it on an empty saucer or a plate that should be set • out for this purpose. • As you drink your tea, raise the teacup only, placing it back onto the saucer in between sips. As for the food, tea sandwiches are eaten first, followed by the sweets such as cakes, pastries and scones. • Scones are always broken, never cut. They should be served with jam and clotted cream or butter. The jam goes on first, followed by the butter or cream. • Drink slowly and silently. No one should be able to hear you slurp or sip the tea. You can add milk or lemon after your tea is poured, but not both as lemon curdles the milk. • Depending on the number of courses served, the silverware on the table will vary. Always start with the outermost silverware and work towards the inside as the courses progress. Grace Magazine | By Women for Women Entertain with music, poetry or great conversation. Most importantly, enjoy yourself. This is your time to relax and be rejuvenated. Fabulous Finds By Jessica Davis These days everyone is looking for creative ways to cut back on spending. We have modified our cell phone plans, cancelled premium cable channels and even started clipping coupons to stretch our hard earned money. We look at our finances regularly, or at least we should be, searching for any corner that has not already been shaved off. So what more can be done? I recently sat down with Myra Lucas, founder of Eye4You, who shared her strategy behind thrift store shopping. That’s a great way to save a ton of money. Myra started Eye4You when she realized that there are many women who wanted to look nice, but did not like to shop. At Eye4You, Myra takes time getting to know her clients and does the shopping for them. Myra can shop for anyone, regardless of budget. If you have high-end taste, but a limited budget, Myra’s secret to success is thrift store shopping. Make no mistake, there is a strategy to thrift store shopping and it’s not for the faint of heart. Here are 10 things Myra suggests to tackle thrift store shopping successfully: 1. Some thrift stores do not have dressing rooms, so wear clothes that allow you to try items on over them. 2. Keep your hands free. It’s a good idea to put your purse in the trunk of your car. That way you don’t have to worry about setting it down or getting in your way as you shop. 3. Call in advance to find out what days the store has sales. Most thrift stores have days when they take an additional percentage off and you can really save a bundle. 4. Thrift stores can be overwhelming because they have a lot of merchandise that is organized differently. One way to manage this is by knowing what you want and going straight to that item. For example, if you know you want jeans, go directly to the denim department and look for your size. 5. If something catches your eye, grab it! If you leave it on the rack and plan to come back to it later, the chances of it still being there when you return is very unlikely. Myra suggests pulling everything you want, then reassess the items right before you checkout. 6. Do not use the thrift store as an excuse to splurge. Set a budget before you get to the thrift store and stick to it. 7. Go to a few different thrift stores and find one that Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org suits you. Some thrift stores have a better shoe selection than others, while some might have a better selection of plus-size clothing. So do some research to find which thrift store will best suit your needs. 8. Thrift stores carry designer items for a small fraction of the retail price. Often times you can find brand new clothes with the tags still on them. Even with the tags, the thrift store sells the clothes at a deep discount, so you are sure to save. 9. Be patient and prepared to look through every item on a particular rack, because you are almost likely to find some of your favorite brand names. 10. Make sure you purchase something that you actually want and need. If it is not something you truly want, once you get home you will have wasted your time and money. Myra shops for items that are “inexpensive, but not cheap.” This motto should be in every smart shopper’s playbook. If you would like to contact Myra to learn more about Eye4You, please email her at [email protected]. 7 , y m Mom I ! e m o h k c a b am A Pew Research analysis of Census Bureau data shows that the share of Americans living in multigenerational family households is the highest it has been since the 1950s, having increased significantly in the past five years due to various factors. The “boomerang kids,” young adult children, ages 25-34, have returned home. In 2005, over 80 million adult children returned home! There are several reasons why your adult son or daughter has to come back home after being out on their own for years: Reason 1. The nation’s current economic state Reason 2. Life threating illness Reason 3. Overwhelming debt or repossession of home By Patrice K. Carthern me. Not to mention my husband had never lived with my parents and was having a difficult time adjusting. The boys also had to deal with the adjustment in living with my parents. In the past, they would go for sleepovers at their grandparentsʼ home. Now they are living with grandma and grandpa. OMG!!! It has been interesting to say the least. Today, we are all together under one roof. You may be thinking we had a calm and smooth transition, right? Far from it! In the beginning, it was utter chaos because the kids had more space to run around and different rooms to go into. They would also play us against my parents to get things done their way after their dad or I would tell them to do or not to do something. Reason 4. Loss of a spouse Reason 5. Unable to secure and maintain suitable housing or employment In 2009, my family and I (yes, I said, “my family,” which consisted of my husband and three boys) found ourselves struggling to survive and had to move and live with my parents. We moved in just before the big snow that year. And just like dealing with the snow, we had to make a lot of adjustments with respect to how we handled ourselves and interacted with each other in very close quarters. Bear in mind that I had not lived with my parents for 12 years, so it has been interesting to witness the changes in my parents and in 8 Patrice K. Carthern and her children Grace Magazine | By Women for Women Living with my parents for two years has improved. We are looking forward to getting back on our own again. Am I anxious having my own place? Yes, because I don’t want to find myself struggling with finances or finding an affordable home. God showed me in this situation that His mercy is everlasting. I am truly blessed because there are people who do not have close family to turn to in a time of need. I thank God for my parents opening up their home and their lives to us. I have come to love and appreciate them deeper than I had before. I often reflect on the commandment, honor your father and your mother and I treasure the relationship that I have with my parents. |G| Moving Out: By Felicia Johnson or do anything that will embarrass or “cut him down.” There are certain things that happen between my husband and me that only God knows. To do anything else would be to suggest that I don’t value and love him as God commands. I would also be giving others tools to use against my husband long after we have resolved our problems. Most women desire or yearn to be married. Finding the right companion to love and spend the rest of your life with is a wonderful feeling. However, it is normal to experience marriage jitters before the wedding day. Many women wonder about the challenges during the transition from being single and married. As a newlywed, I learned how to conquer issues, such as filling a void with my family, keeping my marriage private, sharing household responsibilities and having fun. In accepting my transition, I’m reminded of the Scripture, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11). Filling the void As a newlywed, I felt great finally being on my own with my husband. I am now learning how to be con- tent and know that I can’t have it all. At first, I felt a void as my family had been my whole life. I missed the long talks with my mom, playing Spades with my sisters and brother and laughing at my dad’s funny jokes. I learned quickly that there will be special moments I miss, but I know they will never vanish. My husband and I now have our special times and we make time to visit our relatives almost every Sunday. If we cannot, we call them to say hello. Family holidays, such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, are always good occasions to spend time with our families. “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content” (Philippians 4:11). What Goes on in Your Marriage Stays in Your Marriage My husband is my covering. I truly love and protect him by showing him honor and respect, and maintaining our privacy. I will not reveal Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org What happens in our marriage stays in our marriage. At my wedding reception, my older sister gave a lovely, profound speech about how happy she was about our marriage. Then she said, “Keep your family and friends out of your business.” Everyone started cheering and clapping. It was hilarious, but very true. To some people that statement may even seem harsh. Allowing people to interfere in your marriage can cause serious, irreparable damage. It took me a while to really understand because I was used to caring too much about what people thought about me. “But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3). Household Responsibilities My husband and I have decided how we will share our household responsibilities. It’s important to establish ground rules and learn how to compromise. Once you have settled in with your new husband, you will have to adjust to his habits and vice versa. It’s all right if, from time to time, one of you does a little bit more than the other; it all balcontinued on page 11 9 Beauty from the inside out Style Re-Invigorated By Sade Dennis The Proverbs 31 woman paints a biblical portrait of womanhood. She wore beautiful, colorful, high quality garments. Today she would be described as “having it going on.” In fact, some of the most godly and admirable women in the Bible “had it going on.” Esther, for example, indulged in 12 months of beauty treatments: six months with oil of myrrh and the other half with perfumes and cosmetics (Esther 2:12). God does not mind women looking and feeling great. Occasionally, we all find ourselves needing to re-invigorate our style. Some may find the need to change due to a life event, aging, a new job or just because. Others find themselves needing to change their style simply to find ways of improving their outer appearance. No matter the reason, we should be excited to know that God wants us to look and feel good. He wants us to have a renewed, refreshed and confident outlook, inwardly and outwardly. We can look our best if we follow these few simple tips and techniques. Hair Healthy hair in a style that flatters the shape of your face can do wonders. For an updated look, try bangs. Bangs are a very simple yet stylish technique for an instant makeover. Frame your face by changing the part in your hair. The way your hair is parted can easily change the way you look with little 10 Jacqui Lanier time, minimal effort,and no cost! A middle part can give you a casual, sleek look, especially if your hair is straight, while a dramatic side part with some hair swept across your forehead can give you a chic look. Makeup Go outside of your comfort zone. Do something completely different. Add a new technique to your makeup regimen. Don’t be afraid to put on less. Don’t be afraid to put on more. The right eyebrow shape consists of eyebrows that extend from the outer to the inner corner of the eye that slightly decreases in width. It will make a big difference in your overall look. Wardrobe Remove the saying, “I have nothing to wear” from your vocabulary. Grace Magazine | By Women for Women This is especially true when you have a closet full of clothes. Simple enhancements to your wardrobe, such as adding accessories, can make a world of difference. For example, wear a fashionable belt over a sweater with a pair of jeans. Transform that out of style blouse into a vintage-inspired look by adding a sparkly broach or necklace. Wear a pair of knee-high boots and a colorful scarf you can turn a simple outfit into a stunning look. Remember to have fun by drawing inspirations from classic and trendy styles. Find hair, makeup and clothing styles that fit your personality and interests. And, to cap off your new style, try smiling to reveal your natural beauty. Reinvigorate your style today! I sat down with an amazing First Baptist Church of Glenarden woman, Jacqui Lanier. We talked — ENHANCE YOURS CONTINUED FROM PAGE 9 ances out in the end. You may be able to relate if you’ve had a roommate. You had to adjust to each other’s living habits, good or bad. The same applies to a marriage, except your husband is your permanent roommate and your life covering. about what inspires her to look great, as well as how she felt about her makeover photo shoot. Grace: How would you describe Grace: How has your relationship with the Lord impacted your new glow? Lanier: The power of lighting! Professionals use lighting to highlight the good features and de-emphasize flaws. Although painful, God has done a remarkable job lately of shining light on my many flaws and speaks very clearly about what He wants me to change. And I’m not talking about only wardrobe and makeup! Lanier: Faith without action is dead. It takes effort to have a relationship with God and an effective prayer life. I have a lot of work to do. I’d like to believe that I am powerful. I actually choose how I react and respond. Frowning is a choice. Smiling is a choice. Actually, a smile is the best. You’ll either laugh or cry. My life is no more perfect than anyone else’s. I understand what it feels like to feel helpless. Yes ... sometimes, okay, maybe more than sometimes. I get angry when I have to take the high-Christian road while other people just appear to do whatever they want. I said, “Appear.” But my reaction is not defeat. It’s power. No, it’s not fair, but lift your head. Wipe the tears. Open your eyes and smile. We serve the light of the entire world. Scripture tells us that Jesus is the way, the truth and the light! Allowing God to shine through you regardless of how you feel or how you think you look is a choice. Do something! GLOW girl! Grace: How did you feel when you Grace: Thank you so much your current makeup regimen? Lanier: I must admit, I am one of those women who does not wear makeup on a daily basis; only lipstick. I put in a little more effort on special occasions. For me, church is the special occasion. Grace: Why did you want this makeover photo shoot? Lanier: I wanted to see what God sees! I believe God views us at our greatest potential, including physical appearance. Grace: What did you learn from the makeover photo shoot? saw yourself after your hair and makeup were done? Lanier: Oh my God! And I meant that most reverently! Jacqui for your honesty and inspiration. |G| Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org “Love flows through a marriage that lives up to mutual responsibility. Love is not self seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Have Fun Who says the fun ends once you get married? There are great ways to make your marriage fun and adventurous. Think outside of the box: go on road trips, plan board game nights or travel to another country. On the spur of the moment, my husband and I will sometimes go to our favorite ice cream parlor or debate each other on fun topics. Being in a marriage can be fun. When you commit to your God-given role and do great activities together and maintain excitement. Although marriage is considered a rite of passage as a key component or milestone into adulthood, it is critical to understand that marriage is about sacrifice, commitment and becoming unified with your spouse for a lifetime. I hope some of the lessons I’ve shared for my 2-1/2 years of marriage are enriching ideas you consider during your transition as a newlywed. Always remember to put God first, and watch as your blessings overflow with happiness. “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18). |G| 11 Health Department Renew Your Mind, Body and Soul By Connie Pulliam When we see these three words – mind, body and soul – grouped together what comes to mind? There are many things we may think of like body weight, brain power or maybe just feeling good. If a person finds the perfect balance, the result is a healthy whole person. How does one achieve this balance? To begin to attain this goal is to try not to look at the mind, body and soul as one unit. Although the mind, body and soul function at their best when they are all working in harmony, they must be maintained individually. We must keep each renewed and refreshed. Again, the question is, how is this done? Well, let’s begin with the mind. Your mind consists of your brain which is the central processing unit. It takes in all of the information from your five senses. Your mind figures in everything you see, hear, taste, smell and touch. The mind should be kept at its best, always renewed and refreshed. Reading is a fantastic way to keep the mind refreshed and sharp. Read the Bible daily. If you decide to read a page, a chapter or a verse, there will always be a renewing of the mind when it is absorbing the Word of God. Other supplements come from reading magazines or playing word puzzles. Some physicians even think that word games help to keep your mental status in tune. 12 The body is another important part of the three. What are ways to keep our bodies renewed and refreshed? There is nothing like a nice long walk on a bright spring day. You not only reap the benefits of being in the presence of God’s glory and with nature, but you are exercising and toning your muscles while strengthening your heart and lungs. If you decide to walk after dinner. think about all of the calories you will burn! In a safe environment, walking can be done alone or with a partner. The best part of walking is you do not need to pay for a gym membership to enjoy the health benefits. Nothing can renew and refresh the soul better than spending time with God. Whether you are praying, meditating or listening to God, spending time with Him is always a great thing! During the morning, noon or night, set aside time to commune with the Lord. When God fills your soul with His goodness, your soul will surrender the peace and feel renewed. “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:7 NKJV). When our mind, body and soul functions in harmony as a lifestyle, we feel so much better than before! Take it a step further and come up with other ways to renew yourself. Let’s take this spring season to renew our mind, body and soul! |G| Grace Magazine | By Women for Women Spring Season Ideas Mind -Read the Bible -Do word puzzles -Read novels -Prioritize your time -Create and stick to a budget and/or schedule Body - Have a healthy diet -Walk/exercise - Get the proper amount of rest - Fun time Soul - Spend regular time with God - Spend time with your loved ones - Time alone or "Me Time" -Volunteer treats Tasty SPRING 2012 By Mia Waldron Springtime is a period of new beginnings and awakenings. For me, it holds a wonderful sense of potential as the last vestiges of winter are being shaken off, giving way to the beauty of nature in bloom. Brunch is a meal that often makes me think of springtime. It is the best of breakfast and lunch, combining savory and sweet in a harmonious blend. These two recipes I altered are perfect for brunch. One is my mom’s holiday pre-dinner treat; the other is a recipe from a co-worker of many years ago, which I altered. |G| Mom’s Sausage Stuffed Pastry Ingredients: 1 pkg. puff pastry sheets 1 small onion, minced 1 lb. sage sausage (bulk) 1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper 1 medium green apple, diced 1/4 cup milk 1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, shredded Directions: Preheat oven to 325˚ F. Thaw puff pastry sheets according to box directions. Cook sausage in pan until browned. Remove the sausage from pan and reserve. Sauté the onions and apples in the same pan the sausage was cooked until onions become soft, but not brown. Remove from heat, return sausage to the pan and mix thoroughly. Sprinkle cutting board with flour, open each puff pastry sheet. Using a knife, cut six to eight angled slits on the outer 2/3 of each sheet. Spoon meat mixture into the center 1/3 of each sheet. Add half of the shredded cheese to the top of the meat. Fold outer edges over the center, pressing the two strips together in the middle. Repeat with the second pastry sheet. Brush the tops of both loaves with the milk. Bake for 15-25 minutes until pastry is golden brown and flaky. Remove the completed pastry from the oven and let cool slightly. To serve, cut horizontally along the lines of the folds. Mary Ready’s Scones Ingredients: 2 sticks plus 2 tbs. butter 5-1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1/4 cup baking powder 1/4 cup granulated sugar 1/4 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. ginger 1 tsp. cinnamon 1 tbs. sour cream 1/2 cup vanilla yogurt 1-1/2 cups golden raisins 1-1/2 cups buttermilk Directions: Preheat oven to 425˚ F. Spray two baking sheets with cooking oil and lightly dust with flour. Place all dry ingredients (except raisins) and butter into a large bowl and blend until the mixture resembles coarse corn meal. Add raisins and mix again until all raisins are separated. Add yogurt, sour cream and buttermilk. Mix only until dough holds together. Do not over mix! Turn out onto a floured surface and divide into four parts. Pat each part with floured hands into a 1" high circle and then cut each circle into eight wedges. Place wedges onto prepared baking sheets and brush with beaten egg yolk or milk. Bake for 12-15 minutes until scones are golden. Makes 32 scones. Note: These freeze well immediately after cooled in a sealed freezer bag. Defrost one at a time, wrapped in paper towel in the microwave for 1 minute. Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org 13 YOUTH/young adult Staying Connected With Our Teens By Denita Johnson "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it," (Proverbs 22:6). That biblical admonition may be even more relevant now than the day it was written. Today, parental authority may be undermined by the media, other children and even some well-meaning adults. Our fast-pace lives, with many par- ents making arduous commutes to work long hours, often leave relatively modest amounts of time to devote to our families. Then, before we know it, that little tyke is a brooding adolescent with raging hormones. Also, quite often we don’t have a family network to rely upon, something that many earlier generations took for granted. This is why we — as parents/ guardians and/or family friends — must carve out time daily to communicate with children. This is necessary to meet children’s emotional needs at each stage of their development. This helps them become well-balanced individuals. Here are some tips for staying connected with your teen: 1. Master new technology. Get your teen to show you the latest in social networking. This helps him or her feel valued and shows that you are interested in what they are doing. 2. Praise them. We all like to be praised, but it’s especially important for the fragile egos of teens and children. It helps build their self-confidence. 3. Be open and listen. Listening shows they have your attention and that you care. 4. Pay attention. Be aware of what your child does and with whom.This includes their choices in music and video games. 5. Ask their opinion. Again, this shows you care and value their ideas — even if you disagree with them. 6. Keep rules and regulations. Always keep your teen aware of your rules and talk about them repeatedly. 7. Find time to talk. If possible, have regular one-on-one time with your teen, possibly while cooking or doing other activities. Have conversations about smoking, drugs, sex, etc., before they become issues. (Note: if there is any subject you need help with, research the information with your teen.) 8. Respect their privacy. Teens go through changes and need a little privacy with boundaries. 9. Admit when you are wrong. Let them know we make mistakes, too. 10.Seek help. If managing your teen gets difficult, ask for help from family, friends or even professional counselors. We can have tremendous influence on teens by just letting them know we are here for them. Keep doing activities with your teen. Keep up with the things they like and don’t lose your sense of humor. Learn and laugh with them. Remember, if we don’t stay connected and talk with our teens, the world will. |G| 14 Grace Magazine | By Women for Women Renew your skin the healthy and natural way: A look at organic skin care and cosmetics By Sade Dennis Did you know that your skin is actually the largest organ of your body? The substances and products we apply to our skin are absorbed into our bodies and bloodstream. Therefore, it is vitally important to understand the effects of products we put on our skin. According to www.healthguid ance.org, the need for organic (or natural) skin care and make-up has become more than just a trend, but a necessity for overall good health. Organic products are made with ingredients that are grown free of synthetic (or imitation) pesticides and herbicides. They also do not include harmful additives such as petroleum waxes, fillers and artificial chemicals. Below is a list of healthy and harmful ingredients to consider when looking for skin care and cosmetic products. Here are a few healthy ingredients: Algae Extract: A blend of three types of red alga, Irish moss, euchema and gigartina. These extracts are high in iodine and amino acids and very nourishing to the skin. Almond Butter: Butter made from sweet almond oil. Almond butter is a rich emollient and skin conditioner. Tea Tree Oil: The pure essential oil from tea tree leaves, a powerful antiseptic, which is also helpful to treat acne. Here are a few harmful ingredients: Paraben preservatives (methyl, propyl, butyl and ethyl): used to slow down the growth of bacteria and extend the shelf life of skin care and cosmetic products. They’re often used even though they are known to be toxic. These preservatives also cause allergic reactions and skin rashes. Silicones: They coat the skin, trapping anything beneath it, not allowing the skin to breathe. A very good way to recognize silicones is to look for “cone” at the end of an ingredient. Sulphates: Are what makes products foam. These foaming agents are most commonly used in shampoos, soaps, bubble baths and other products which Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org produce lather. They strip and deplete natural oils from the skin, causing skin irritation such as rashes and dry, rough and flaky skin. Undoubtedly, we are all concerned about our health and wellbeing, which means it is important to be proactive in choosing good products that are good. Choosing healthy skin care products and make-up is not difficult. At first, it may be a little frustrating when you’re trying to understand ingredient labels because there are so many listed. The basic rule to remember is ingredients are listed in descending order from greatest to least. For example, if a skin care product lists almond butter, tea tree oil and algae extract (in that order), then the product contains mostly almond butter because it is the first ingredient listed. Now that you are familiar with the ingredients so commonly used in skin care and cosmetic products, you are empowered to make wise choices for your needs. Most importantly, we need to share our medical disclaimer: please consult a dermatologist or medical provider prior to using any products. |G| 15 In this issue of Women’s Group at a Glance, we have two testimonies from members who share how the Women’s Ministry helped them through their journeys. Marion “Ann” White shares her health testimony and the sister bond with Divine Discipleship Sisters. Ebonee Davis shares her twin’s blessings and Hagar Ministry. Additionally, you will find the Focus Studies Fall 2012 Schedule. My Testimony Ebonee Davis Hagar Teen Mom My name is Ebonee Davis and I am a 25-year-old mother of two children. At the age of 18, during my freshman year of college at North Carolina A&T, I became pregnant with twin boys. Blessed with a supportive family, I was able to move back home with my parents. However, I’d made plans to return to college within a year to finish my degree program. In the meantime, I worked full time and took online classes at night and on the weekends at a community college. It was hard. I was young and constantly trying to find a solution to my situation. I bless God! Through it all I had an army of godly women speaking into my life and praying for me. After being home for sometime, I became very active in youth ministry and rededicated my life to Christ. Soon after, I decided not to go back to A&T after God showed me that I needed to remain here where I had the support of my family and loved ones. That following year I transferred to Howard University. For the next four years, I flipflopped between working full-time and going to school part-time. I was a full-time student with a parttime job. That pace ended in my final semester when I found myself working two jobs while taking 16 seven classes, all while still managing the home life of a mother. I have no doubt that it was the grace of God that kept me and my children. May 14, 2011, after seven years of sleepless nights, prayers, tears, thoughts of giving up and feelings of depression and loneliness, it all payed off. I walked across the stage with my Bachelor of Arts degree. Ebonee Davis and her twins I have been involved with Carolyn O’Bryant and Hagar Ministry for about five years, which has been a blessing. Carolyn has been one of my mentors and confidants. I truly believe she was one of the people God used to set me on the path He paved out for my life. And I thank God for her and her vision for this ministry. Recently, she invited me to serve on a panel, where I spoke to Charles H. Flowers High School students about the realities of teen pregnancy. This Grace Magazine | By Women for Women was important to me because I often wonder if young girls look at me and other single mothers, see how God has blessed our lives and get a false sense of teen pregnancy. When I spoke to the students that day, it was the first time I’d verbalized my story and all that God’s done for me. It was amazing and made me even more aware of what God requires. Looking back over my journey I see God’s favor saturated throughout everything, from the financial miracles to me landing jobs in my field, to even blessing me with children that are so easy to parent. However, my family has been the greatest showing of God’s favor and mercy. I am most thankful to God for a family that is as invested in my education and the pursuit of my dreams as I am. There are several things that I would have been unable to do had it not been for their support and encouragement. God has transformed and refined me through this journey and He is still working on my behalf. I am currently preparing to purchase my first home and was just accepted into graduate school. He certainly has a plan for me, and I am eagerly anticipating His every move! |G| Women’s Ministry Group at a Glance My Testimony It’s never too late to say thank you! I want to thank my family and Divine Discipleship for Sisters who prayed for me. This is my testimony. Last year, my doctor told me based on two previous x-rays; it looked as if I had Sarcoidosis a disease that results in inflammation of body tissues. Sarcoidosis can appear in almost any body organ, but is most often in the lungs or lymph nodes. It is the disease that the late comedian/ actor Bernie Mac had, wanted me to take another x-ray. I asked my family, friends and DDS to pray for me and they did. I went for my results and my doctor said, “All I can say is WOW. The difference in your results from the previous test and the latest one is dramatic.” My lungs were healing without any medication. I still have a few issues, and I must see a specialist, which is ok because I know it’s not over until my God says it’s over. Marion Ann Wright During this time, I experienced various challenges, I was unemployed, tried to get my nephew from Arizona enrolled in school. I also received a letter stating that my account had been garnished and had no idea what I was going to do for Thanksgiving. I immediately logged onto my account and thought, “please not this, too.” I had just paid my electric bill, but the money had not been withdrawn. I thought the garnishment would have taken the money allocated for the bill since it was well past the garnishment activation date. However, the day after the payment went through, the garnishment was activated. The lawyer who submitted the garnishment paperwork said the money should have been withdrawn from my account. God continued to bless me. Then, I received a text asking if I needed anything for Thanksgiving. A friend informed me that she had been chosen to receive a yearly gift and thought of me. Again, thanks to my Father! With my next blessing was I was offered a job with a company that I previously had a contract. Although it’s part time, I am grateful. I see His hand and I believe more is to come. This has been a grueling time. I say all that to say, I am in a storm, but not getting wet. Even when I feel a little rain, the breeze changes direction. Thank you, DDS. I don’t want to lose this connection. The time I have spent with my sisters has forever changed my thinking. There are women like me who love God with their whole heart and soul, and whose prayers sustain me. They help me to keep my focus on God as I weather this stormy season. |G| I am in a storm, but not getting wet. Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org 17 Women’s Ministry Focus Studies Fall 2012 APPLE OF HIS EYE – Part 2 Facilitators: Aubray Robinson & Mary Davisson Dates: Saturday 9/8 – 10/20 Time: 10 a.m. – noon Book: Jewel in His Crown: Rediscovering Your Value as a Woman of Excellence (Book and Journal) by Priscilla Shirer Purpose/Overview: This 6-week study empowers women of all ages to develop a firm sense of self, based on who they are in Christ Jesus, through discipleship. If you suffer from low self-esteem, this study is just what the Lord has ordered for you. BEDROOM SECRETS Facilitator: Minister Deborah Leaner Dates: Wednesday 9/12 – 10/24 Time: 7 p.m. – 9 p.m. Book: Bedroom Secrets by Deborah Leaner Purpose/Overview: Marriages are being attacked by attitudes of confusion, brokenness and bitterness which seek to steal, kill and destroy. Bedroom Secrets seeks to heal the brokenhearted and create a pathway to forgiveness through frank and open discussions about real issues affecting marriages and sexuality. In this 6-week study women will learn to “speak life” into their marriages and relationships before major problems occur. DADDY PAIN Facilitators: Wanda Davis & Millicent Alexander 18 Dates: Thursday 10/11 – 11/15 Time: 7 p.m. – 8:30 p.m. Book: Longing for Daddy: Healing from the Pain of an Absent or Emotionally Distant Father by Monique Robinson Purpose/Overview: Every little girl yearns to be “Daddy’s Girl.” No relationship is more pivotal to a woman’s emotional development and identity than her relationship with her father. For those women who know the pain of having been wounded or rejected by their fathers, we will help you to unlock the door that leads to understanding, healing, forgiveness and restoration. This 6-week study is just what your heavenly Daddy ordered. JONAH Facilitator: Minister Kim Henderson Dates: Thursday 9/27 – 11/15 Time: 7 p.m. – 9 p.m. Book: Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted by Priscilla Shirer Purpose/Overview: An interrupted life is probably an accurate descriptor for all of us, don’t you think? Your interruptions may differ from mine. Yet interruptions can be difficult to manage, no matter what or whose they are. Another year of singleness, a spouse’s secret revealed, a heartbreaking encounter, a burst of success in business, redirection in ministry or a new baby or two. Though we wish to avoid them, every season of life seems to include a few. They shock us; they shake us; they com- Grace Magazine | By Women for Women pel us to change. So welcome to Jonah, a 7-week focus study. Jonah knows how life interrupted feels, and he’s got a firsthand account of how yielding to God is the best decision after all. MADE TO CRAVE Facilitator: Pamela Jordan Dates: Saturday 9/1 – 10/27 Time: 9 a.m. – 11 a.m. Book: Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst Purpose/Overview: Craving isn’t a bad thing! Has food become more about frustration than fulfillment? Made to Crave is the missing link between a woman’s desire to be healthy and the spiritual empowerment necessary to make that happen. Join us during this 7-week study and use it as a helpful companion alongside your healthy eating approaches. MARRIAGE FROM A-Z Facilitator: Carolyn Tatem Dates: Saturday 9/8-10/20 Time: 10 a.m. – noon Book: Marriage from A-Z by Carolyn Tatem Purpose/Overview: This 6-week study will give you godly principles for a successful marriage. The writer’s vulnerability about the challenges in her marriage, blended with biblical truth, will engage and enable you to identify. This focus study is for single women who desire to someday be married. Women’s Ministry Group at a Glance RAISING GODLY CHILDREN Facilitator: Tyra Lane-Kingsland Dates: Saturday 9/22 – 11/17 Time: 10 a.m. – noon Book: None Purpose/Overview: This 6-week focus study helps women understand God’s purpose and plan for raising godly children. Women will also understand their high calling of motherhood as they raise godly seeds. SPIRITUAL AND PRACTICAL LIFE ISSUES FOR SENIORS Facilitator: Deaconess Betty Green Dates: Saturday 10/13 – 11/17 Time: 11 a.m. – 1 p.m. Book: None Purpose/Overview This 6-week focus study will help women view and understand aging as an opportunity for growth and fulfillment, despite its challenges. It will encourage women to live out their lives fully for the kingdom by using their God-given gifts and talents, wisdom and experiences, while simultaneously receiving, giving and serving. THE BLESSING OF ADVERSITIES Facilitator: Reverend Annie B. Darden Dates: Saturday 9/29 – 11/17 Time: 10 a.m. – 11:30 a.m. Book: None Purpose/Overview This 7-week focus study provides practical and spiritual tools for women to handle difficult and stressful times. These sessions will help every woman to be prepared for those inevitable times called “trouble” and not lose their temper or hair. THE EXCELLENT WIFE Facilitators: Constance Nwosu, Maria White & Geneva Pearson Dates: Saturday 10/13 – 11/17 Time: 11 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. Book: The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace Purpose/Overview: This 6-week study teaches women what it really means to be a godly wife, which is an excellent crown to her husband (Proverbs 12:4). The study is designed to provide wives with practical tools and biblical insight to maintain and/or develop a healthy and vibrant relationship with their spouse regardless of the issues they face. Not only will the women learn what God requires of a Christian wife, but they will learn how to obey God’s commandments in order to become that wife. THE HOME EXPERIENCE Facilitator: Jackie Parker Dates: Saturday 9/1 – 11/17 Time: 10 a.m. – noon Book: The Home Experience: Making Your Home a Sanctuary of Love and a Haven of Peace by Devi Titus and Marilyn Weiher Purpose/Overview: This 10-week intensive study is designed to train, disciple, discipline and encourage women that their homes are a sanctuary of love, a haven of peace and where ministry takes place. Married and single women will learn how to draw the women’s heart back towards home. Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org THE OTHER WOMAN Facilitator: Yvette Haley Dates: Wednesday 9/12 – 11/14 Time: 7 p.m. – 9 p.m. Book: None Purpose/Overview Have you been the married man’s other woman or has your spouse been unfaithful to you? If so, this 8-week focus study is designed to bring healing from those ungodly relationships by helping you understand that you are loved by God. Allow God to transform your life and make you whole again. WISDOM FOR WORKING WOMEN Facilitator: Minister Beverly Little Dates: Wednesday 10/10 – 11/14 Time: 6:30 p.m. – 7:30 p.m. Book: None Purpose/Overview: This 6-week study is designed to assist women with balancing life’s demands God’s way by providing biblical principles for workplace success. REGISTER Prior to the Focus Study Start Date 1. In Person at the Ministry Center Women’s Fellowship (July 7, September 1, and October 6, 2012); 2. In Person at Women’s Conference (Oct. 7, 2012); 3. Email focusstudies@fbcglenarden. org beginning now (when registering by email please include your name, email address and phone number inside the body of the email); or 4. Call 301-773-3600 19 Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Names Can Really Hurt Me By Norma L. Day-Vines, Ph.D. Bullying refers to the repeated pattern of intimidation and aggressive behavior inflicted by more powerful individuals against individuals they perceive as less powerful, weaker or more vulnerable. For one reason or another, bullying can assume many forms, including but not limited to name calling; social exclusion or isolation; hitting, kicking, shoving, spitting; coercion; extortion; spreading rumors; and cyber bullying via cell phones or the Internet. These behaviors usually begin during early childhood and in, the absence of appropriate adult intervention, can escalate during adolescence and young adulthood. In the African-American community bullying takes on all the above mentioned forms, as well as which are specific and unique to our community. For example, the sheer diversity of hair and skin color breeds a devastating form of personal violation in which children and adults alike are ostracized for not fitting within narrow and arbitrary standards of beauty. Additionally, children who work hard in school and achieve good grades are sometimes ridiculed for “acting white.” Faulty logic presumes that a positive African-American identity and academic success are mutually exclusive. We seldom refer to these racialized incidents as bullying, but indeed they are! At its most extreme, bullying can manifest as black-on-black crime, an unfortunate phenomena that threatens to destroy what remains of Black solidarity. Whether bul20 lying manifests as a universal or a culture-specific dynamic, it is detrimental. In the past, when people talked to children about bullying, they emphasized the role of two primary individuals – the bully and the victim. Essentially, the bully is the child who inflicts violence on a target; the victim is the target or child whom the bully torments. Experts have identified a third role in the bullying scenario, that of the bystander., who witnesses bullying events, but do not help to eliminate the bullying behavior. Bystanders represent an important group of children, especially since most bullying behavior takes place within the direct purview of bystanders, and bullies thrive on having an audience. If the audience cheers, the bully continues his or her inappropriate behavior. But imagine the impact on the bully when bystanders collectively condemn the bully. Chances are the bully would be discouraged from continuing his or her misbehavior. Research shows that most bystanders want to play a role in stopping bullying behavior, however, most children choose not to get involved due to fear, confusion and concerns about safety. Bystanders have to be empowered to intervene in an appropriate manner. Research indicates that if a bystander discourages the bully, there is a 50 percent chance that the bully will stop. As adults, we must teach our children about the bystander’s relative influence in curtailing bullying behavior. Grace Magazine | By Women for Women As Christians, we have several biblical examples of individuals who took a courageous stance against injustice despite the risks involved. In the Old Testament, Queen Esther found herself in a precarious position when the king granted Haman permission to kill the Jews. As queen, Esther could have remained a passive bystander and her status as queen would have insulated her from the threat of death (at least temporarily), despite the fact that she was Jewish. Undaunted by what seemed like insurmountable peril, Esther interceded, devising a clever plot to save her people from death and destruction. Jesus, when presented with an adulterous woman who, by law ,should have been put to death, He instead admonished the crowd, saying, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” (John 8:7). Perhaps He could have conceded that her sin was punishable by death. but instead Jesus forgave her! Let us teach our children to step in on behalf of others as our Savior does for us. As parents we, have a responsibility to instill in our children the values of courage, social justice and advocacy. Proverbs 22:6 teaches us to “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” In fact, God punished Eli because though his sons, Hophni and Phinehas, were out of control and lacked personal restraint. Eli did nothing to discipline them in the tabernacle. parenting Parents must play a decisive role in their children’s lives. As their first teachers, we have an obligation to instill in them the importance of acting within the will of God. This includes interrupting the bullying cycle and encouraging our children to act with a sense of personal conviction. If we are to teach our children about the role of the bystander, we must serve as appropriate models that recognize and challenge various forms of social injustice. Deuteronomy 1:17 states, “Do not be afraid of any man.” Children should be taught that it is courageous to help others and not to fear when standing up for what is right. Stan Davis, author of Empowering Bystanders in Bullying Prevention, recommends that if children are uncomfortable disclosing the details of the bullying event, they might tell an adult to watch a particular location in the school where bullying is likely to occur. Davis also recommends that bystanders give victims an escape route by telling the victim that a teacher would like to see them. The bystander can also contact the victim at home and provide encouragement to him by saying, "I saw what happened today and I didn’t know what to do, but I don’t think you deserved it.” Each of these strategies helps the bystander provide support to the victim in an indirect manner. Schools now have curricula that provide groupbased responses to bullies, as well. Regardless of the strategy that we use to empower children to take an active stance, we need to help them recognize that silence implies their approval of the bullying behavior. Given the escalating levels of violence in schools today, parents have a compelling rationale for helping their children take a more active stance when they observe bullying behavior. |G| Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org "First they came for the communists, and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me. " – German pastor Martin Niemöller, who opposed Hitler and his Nazi regime as they perpetrated one of the most egregious human tragedies in recorded history 21 inspirational HOW LOUD IS YOUR PRAISE? By Mildred Stokes Jesus is Lord, our Redeemer and Keeper, and we bless His Holy Name. What virtues can we speak of about our Triune God in all His Righteousness? In Psalm 103 and 145, David declares these things: The Lord is gracious and full of compassion; His greatness is unsearchable and far beyond the realm of our understanding; He is righteous in all His ways and His tender mercies cover all His works; He is near to those who fear Him and He hears their cry when they call out to Him; our Lord God is slow to anger and great in mercy; He will preserve all who love Him; and of necessity, our Holy God is kind to the unthankful and the evil, for He blesses all. In the newness of spring unfolding all around us, it is wise to remember to acknowledge our Creator God in all His Majesty. His radiance and manifold pleasures are a gift inviting us to worship and fellowship with Him. God reaches down and opens opportunity for us to capture and reclaim in His name all which He has provided. How are you blossoming? How loud is your praise? In the book of Psalms, many passages remind us of the beauty and blessing of giving. Regardless of the situation or persons involved, God sits in the middle of our mess listening to us, His prized creation, "He carries us through every challenge that comes our way. For the believer knows that “nothing is too hard for [God]” (Jeremiah 32:17). And we know that no weapon 22 formed against us can prosper or overtake the grace of our loving God. The blessed assurance of these things is confirmed in the Word of God. It gives us the confidence to embrace an abundant life in Christ Jesus. In Luke 17:11-19, the parable of the10 lepers teaches us the importance of remembering where our help comes from. These 10 men were in search of freedom from their harsh suffering and pain. They had heard about Jesus’ powerful healing ministry, but had not met Him. It appears that these troubled souls lived in the expectation of a chance meeting with Jesus. For when they recognized Him coming from afar, they shouted out His name and asked for mercy. And when Jesus saw them, He did what He was known to do. Jesus had full compassion on them and expressed His love. He simply spoke a word of deliverance, gave them instructions and sent them on their way. When we study these passages carefully, there is an implied message. At the time when the 10 lepers left from Jesus’ presence they were not yet — in that moment — visibly healed. As they moved away and journeyed to obey His instructions, cleansing from their leprous affliction took effect. For the hope that they held dear in their heart was believed. Psalm 146 speaks of the joy and happiness that hope and trust in the Lord brings. Grace Magazine | By Women for Women Digging a little deeper, there is another implied message in this text. The one leper, the Samaritan foreigner, realized his cleansing and healing as it was occurring. There is a sense of absolute urgency that caused him to rush back to thank Jesus. His renewal in healing was such a blessed and humbling experience. When Jesus inquired about the other nine who were cleansed, the healed one did not answer. He simply worshipped. “… with a loud voice glorified God, and fell down on his face at His feet, giving Him thanks” (Luke 17:15-16). We can only imagine the sound of high praise that came from his lips, for he had such great faith. It must have been an enormously lengthy and tearful shout of victory with the release of pain and torment that had him bound for so long. Praise be to God for His healing power! As we look in the mirror of our lives, what victory shout of healing and renewal do we offer unto the Lord? How loud is your praise? What God expects in earnest measure is that we reverence the sufficiency of His grace towards us. He is the source of our strength and worthy to be praised. In any achievement or demonstration of prosperity, let us remember to express our gratitude in humility. For it is always our duty to return and give glory to God in everything (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Amen. |G| CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5 n rda da Jo n e r B s right) oger (Left- drienne R A and Restored Relationships: Divine reconnection. Grace: Share your story with us. Rogers: Let me start off by saying my cousin, Brenda, and I are very close. However, a few years ago an incident happened which nearly destroyed our relationship. To make a long story short, I was at work and received an urgent phone call from my mother-in-law that my twin grandbabies were in desperate need of some personal items. At that time, my supervisor was on leave and I was acting as secretarial services supervisor to a staff of about 45 employees. I was quite busy that day and could not leave. In desperation, I called my cousin, Brenda, and asked her to help. I got an answer that I wasn’t expecting. I became very upset with her response and immediately hung up the phone. Without delay, she called back and said she would pick up the items for my grandchildren, but I told her, “Nevermind.” However, she did anyway. When I arrived home, Chantell Smith I called my sister and shared what happened. She tried to console me, but I was too hurt to receive her voice of reason. My spirit was closed. I also withdrew from Brenda and refused to accept her phone calls. Grace: What steps did you all take to restore the relationship and what role did the Lord play in it? Jordan: One day I took the initiative to call Adrienne to try to work out the situation because I knew she was still very upset with me. Rogers: The Lord used my sister to call Jordan and they talked about it. At that point, my sister encouraged Brenda to keep reaching out to me. Brenda was very persistent in calling me even after I refused to accept her calls. Eventually she decided to step back for a while and give me the space I needed. She also asked me to forgive her and I did. Although we sought to reconcile, we moved cautiously and carefully in the beginning. Now God has completely restored Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org our relationship and it’s like nothing ever happened. Grace: What would you do differently to avoid this from happening again? Rogers: I would truly listen to hear what the person is saying before responding, and not assume everybody will always come to my rescue in a time of need and I will always have a back-up plan. Jordan: Respect other people’s perception of a situation and give them time to process things in their own way. Grace: How has the relationship matured each of you? Where do you see growth? Jordan: The maturity part for me was learning that sometimes we have to step back and wait for God’s timing to resolve our conflicts and issues. Rogers: So true. Now we are more transparent with each other. We try to call each other at least once a week or every other week. We 23 Grace Magazine Needs You! Attention all Production Artists and Graphic Designers!! Do you have experience with Adobe InDesign? Do you have an interest in becoming a part of the Grace Creative Team? Well, join the Grace Magazine Ministry. Please contact grace@ fbcglenarden.org. Circle, left to right: Chantell Smith, Jonesie Gerald, Kimberly Anderson, Mary Davvison, Brenda Jordan, Adrienne Rogers and Keira Jones keep each other abreast of church services going on and upcoming women’s fellowships. I am a sensitive person; however, I think I have matured by trying not to let my emotions control me. To manage this area of my life, I speak God’s Word over me and my problems. I understand that we all have issues we are working on. But for the grace of God there go I. Don’t expect someone to always be there for you and/or to think like you. Each of us is different and so is our response. Also, I try not to judge others or compare myself with them. When I find myself doing that, the Holy Spirit convicts me. Lastly, the serenity prayer has helped me tremendously: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.” Conclusion Time spent with the group and each lady individually allowed me 24 Grace Magazine | By Women for Women to see God’s tremendous power working. Ecclesiastes 4:12 illustrates the importance of Christian relationships and emphasizes the concept of two Christians bound together in Christ are stronger than they are individually. “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” NIV. The New King James Version says, “And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Although many refer to this text in the covenant of marriage, it also rings true in other relationships. Including God in our friendships helps us maintain Godly friendships. Are there some relationships that you need to restore and renew? Why dont you make that call today. |G| reflections Life Lessons By Barbara Holt Streeter How often do you take ME time? Seriously, think about it. How often do you step away, walk away or drive away from the busyness of life? I have to take ME time daily, 15 to 30 minutes, to revitalize, renew and rejuvenate my mind, body and soul. It’s important to replenish ME. But many of us do not take the time. Wife, mother, grandmother, aunt, sister, business owner, career woman, stay-at-home mother and caretaker are only a few of the titles that represent our roles. In the midst of our daily routine, we often forget about replenishing ourselves. We focus our time, money and resources on family and friends. We will spend our last dollar, cook dinner with only three ingredients for a family of six, clean the house while watching children, manage a business, prepare for a ministry meeting, drive children to their activities in the midst of a migraine headache and remain humble without losing our mind. Superwoman, right? Wrong. Although, society and the media show superwomen, what does God say? He wants us to be a Proverbs 31 woman and not run around frantic. He wants us to be rejuvenated so we can hear His voice and direction for our lives. That’s why I want and need to be a better wife, daughter, aunt, sister and friend, but most importantly a better ME. I schedule ME time to rebuild my inner and outer strength. Don’t laugh, try it! Take your smart phone or daily planner and schedule a 15-minute appointment with yourself, preferably early in the morning for one week. My cell phone alarm rings for my 6:45 a.m. daily appointment for me to pray and exercise. With the temperature changing, I walk in my neighborhood with my dog, Big Boy. I read my daily Word and listen to music while I walk. There is no excuse for not having ME time. Whether you have five children, no children, a husband, dog or are a caretaker, you must accept and understand that you have to take care of YOU! If you don’t take care of you, who will? I recommend creating a special place in your home where you can sit still, meditate and reflect. You can use your closet, bathroom or bedroom; just make it your special place. Be sure to bring your tools with you. I have a meditation corner with my wicker chair, blanket, pillow, candle, hot tea and journal. Seek God early in the morning. Psalm 63:1 says, “O God, You are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land Where there is no water.” Enjoy this spring season to find the inner you, spend time with friends, meet new friends or find a hobby, but most importantly, revitalize, renew and rejuvenate yourself. Please share this issue with your family and friends. You can also download Grace at www. fbcglenarden.org/grace_magazine. We want to hear from you. Share your comments with us at grace@ fbcglenarden.org. |G| Let’s Stay Connected Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org 25 First Baptist Church of Glenarden is a progressive ministry with a strong emphasis on relevant biblical teaching and preaching the Word of God. Under the leadership of Pastor John K. Jenkins Sr., First Baptist has grown to comprise more than 10,000 active members, 100-plus ministries and programs, four Sunday worship services, and a well-attended Tuesday night Bible Study. Pastor Jenkins and his devoted wife, First Lady Trina Jenkins, have dedicated their lives to winning the lost and developing dynamic disciples to impact the lives of people in our community and throughout the world. Worship the Lord with us! S u n day W o r s h i p Worship Center 8 a.m., 10 a.m. and noon services are held at the Worship Center. 600 Watkins Park Drive Upper Marlboro, MD 20774 (Mailing Address) Praise and Worship begins 15 minutes prior to the start of the 8 a.m. and 10 a.m. services only. M i n i s t ry C e n t e r 3600 Brightseat Road Landover, MD 20785 6:30 p.m. service is held at the Ministry Center, except on 4th Sunday (Communion service) and special events as noted. Phone: 301-773-3600 www.fbcglenarden.org Email: [email protected] b i b l e s t u dy Tuesdays at 7 p.m. at the Worship Center and Wednesdays at noon at the Ministry Center. on radio on the web Saturdays WPRS Praise 104.1 FM - 9:30 a.m. WAVA 105.1 FM - 10:30 a.m. Live Worship Services Broadcasts: Sundays at 8 a.m., 10 a.m., noon and 6:30 p.m. Bible Study on Tuesdays, 7 p.m. 24-Hour Television and Video on Demand ON YOUR S M ART PHONES AND IPAD FBCG Worship Services live at www.fbcglive.com Sundays at 8 a.m., 10 a.m. and noon; 6:30 p.m. service can be viewed live at www.fbcglive.com/MC Photo by Jim Kumorek, courtesy of Worship Facilities Magazine