From our participants

Our mission: We help children, teens and adults, who are experiencing the pain of loss, to embrace life again.
From our participants
Emma, a teen volunteer , says
that she volunteers because,
“it’s really hard for adults
to understand how kids
grieve and I feel like I know
more about that.” Emma has
worked with children and
teens and participates with
our training.
Thank you Emma!
“I look back and remember
when I was reaching out and
you, friends, were there. I
will always be so grateful
that you were.” A. H. 2013
“I will never stop being
grateful for all you have
done for me and for many,
many others. There is no
way to put a price on such
a gift, but I will never stop
trying to repay you by doing
what I can to help you help
others. Thank you from the
bottom of my heart.” J.M.
2012
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www.winterspring.org
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The Value of Group Support
From our Director
M
agic happens when a group of grieving people come together
to share their stories. Lots of research supports this, and years of
WinterSpring experience also confirms the value of group work. I got to
appreciate this first-hand as a co-facilitator of a group on Aging and Loss.
After the scheduled eight weeks ended, we did what many groups do and
gathered to reconnect over a meal.
As we came together over a potluck of yummy fall vegetable dishes,
pasta, deviled eggs, and salads, I looked around at these dear faces and
reflected on the changes over the two months since we’d first met. What I
noticed most is that the “heaviness” had lifted, for some more than others, but each in their own way glowed. Glow is the best word I can find
for what I saw, and I believe it’s from the telling of our stories and being
heard and finding camaraderie in shared experiences. Here are a couple
of comments:
Thanks for the companionship as we build back to a new normal, if one can really use the word “normal” for what is left to us.
We all have our own path to follow, but I feel much stronger with the bonds we
have created.
I am constantly amazed by the resiliency of the human spirit, and honored
that these deeply hurting folks came every week and bared their souls
with each other...and often
What is the Sound of Grief?
left with a smile on their
© Paul Hwoschinski, 2012
faces. I want to keep doing
this kind of work because it
What is the sound of grief?
truly feeds my soul.
It thunders in its invasive wrapping of silence.
As you, our WinterSpring
community, think about
where to give during this
holiday season, I hope we are
high on your list. With your
support, we can continue this
meaningful work of helping
people learn to embrace life
again after loss.
Issue no. 44
I wait,
listening,
chilled and empty in my aloneness.
Fall/Winter 2013
And yet,
the stream in winter,
wrapped and muffled,
by deep snow,
remembers the roar of spring.
GRIEF SUPPORT
Who We Are
Our Staff
Julie Lockhart
Executive Director
Jamie Barton
Program Manager
Steve Del Valle
Office Manager
Paul Gibson
Youth Program
Angel DeShane
Children’s Program
Our Board
Shirley South
President
Chuck Ross
Vice President
Jim Titus
Treasurer
Jan Murphy
Secretary
Angel DeShane
Jennifer Downs
Lisa Norvell
Judy Hilyard
Our Advisory Council
Jennifer Downs, LPC
Quin Ley, LCSW
Kim Oveson, CADC II
Fern Snogren, LCSW
Glyn Travis, LPC
Lynn Whitaker, LCSW
Sorrow Prepares You
for Joy
“Sorrow prepares you
for joy. It violently
sweeps everything out
of your house, so that
new joy can find space
to enter. It shakes the
yellow leaves from the
bough of your heart, so
that fresh, green leaves
can grow in their place.
It pulls up the rotten
roots, so that new roots
hidden beneath have
room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from
your heart, far better
things will take their
place.”
Mevlana Jelaluddin Rumi
FOR
E
YOUTH
very morning across the Rogue Valley, a significant number of children and
teens wake up with an aching sense of loss because someone they love has died.
Maybe a family is in turmoil and the children have lost a sense of stability or safety.
Perhaps these kids feel like they have no one to talk with about their feelings. These
kids and families overwhelmed by loss often don’t believe healing is possible. When
the pain gets bad enough, kids may act out in unhealthy ways. And hopefully, the
adults in their lives, including teachers, take notice and seek help through WinterSpring. By connecting with WinterSpring, kids can develop healthy coping skills
that will carry with them throughout their lives.
“Kyle” is attending a WinterSpring group at his middle school for the second year.
His mom died when he was eight. At first, he was quiet, but with the gentle coaxing
of the facilitators and a sense of safety in the group, Kyle has opened up and come
out of his shell. What’s really special is that he started recruiting his friends to come
to the group, and with his help, the attendance almost doubled. We love hearing that
he has really enjoyed the group experience and feels it has helped him to understand
his feelings and get better.
We serve youth like Kyle in several of the Jackson County schools. For many of
these kids, our support is the only they will get as their families grapple with the loss.
Studies abound that group support helps kids to make good choices in their lives,
which in turn benefits the whole community. Why? Kids feel heard, realize they are
not alone, and can begin to make sense of the complex emotions through activities
that give them coping skills they can use throughout their lives. We are extremely
proud of our work with children and teens and love the results we see.
T
he WinterSpring office has a newly formulated team.
We are happy to introduce Jamie Barton, our new Program Manager, and Steve Del Valle, our new Office Manager. Jamie finished her M.S. in Mental Health Counseling at
SOU in 2011 and has worked as an intern for WinterSpring,
answering phones, facilitating groups, and serving as a training leader. Julie has also known Jamie for five years—outside of WinterSpring—and appreciates her depth, heart and wealth of experience.
Jamie knows us well and has stepped smoothly into this role. Steve received a
B.S. in Business Administration with an emphasis in Information Systems from
USC in 2003. He brings an attention to detail as well as an ability to troubleshoot and create new ways of doing things. He’s got a delightful balance of heart
for our mission and “geek” for the work of keeping us on track! As we all get to
know each other, there’s an emerging team spirit that’s delightful for our intense
work environment, and we are excited for the future of WinterSpring. Our team:
Julie, Jamie, Paul and Steve!
W
e thank Anya Neher and Jenna Benson for their years of service and dedication to our mission. We so appreciate their support and skills for all our
efforts to move WinterSpring forward to best meet the needs of the community.
Grieving the difficult relationship
The writings about grief and loss so often speak to
missing the person who is gone, and perhaps longing for
their physical presence again—especially during the holidays. Yet, more often than we might guess, a relationship
may have been difficult. For example, a parent might have
been overly critical, and perhaps behaved badly at Thanksgiving dinners. Difficult relationships bring complex and
conflicting emotions to the
surface, including shame
for not feeling “what you
are supposed to
feel” about the person
who
died.
And especially
as we go through the
holidays, these difficult
emotions may get in the way
of simple pleasures. Sometimes
our grief isn’t as much about the
death as it is about a relationship that
will never be how we would have wanted
it—a connection that never was loving and now that
person is no longer here for us to find some reconciliation.
Writer Andrea Heeres shares that expressing the truth
about difficult feelings in a safe setting can help the
healing process. “A journal is a safe place…you might
write a letter to the person who has hurt you…” (Grieving
the Difficult Relationship, Bereavement Magazine,
V
January/February 2004). She also suggests exercise,
healthy eating and getting rest, because moving through
the long-standing pain takes strength.
Participation in a WinterSpring support group can
help individuals process such difficult emotions in a safe
environment. “I experienced such relief when my father
died, because he was always so mean to my mother and
me,” said a recent group participant, almost in a whisper because of her shame for feeling that way about her
dad. Her brave comment opened the way for others in the
group to share similar
difficult emotions. The
facilitators
reported
afterward that because of this honest
sharing, the energy of
each of these participants seemed
brighter at the end of that group session.
Many of the participants expressed relief that they could
share such heavy emotions.
If you have experienced difficult emotions around the
death of a loved one, seek a safe place to share your truth.
And if you are supporting a bereaved person, be aware that
the emotions they express may be unexpected, even shocking,
as they grapple with the complexity of their grief.
THANK YOU VOLUNTEERS!
olunteers support us in special ways to help fulfill our mission: facilitation of Children’s Program, Teen Programs in the schools, adult support groups; sudden death support teams in schools; office help; event planning and set-up; art and music; community outreach, bereavement support training, Memorial Grove committee
work, raffle donations, catering and more! We couldn’t do it without you!
Volunteers:
Rich Adams
Adam Airoldi
Tressi Albee
Vickie Augustine
Shoshana Alexander
Liz Axness
Sarah Avery-Meyers
Jamie Barton
Aaron Benson
Jenna Benson
Fayegail Bisaccia
Meesha & Scott Blair
Lindy Bonser
Mo Carroll
Noel Chatroux
Hailey Carroll
Sue Carroll
Carol Clum
Ciuro Sal
Lottie Cooper
Helene DeMartinez
Al Densmore
Sally Densmore
Angel DeShane
Tom DeShane
Glyn Deputy
Jennifer Downs
Emma Lockhart Durbin
Denise Erskin
Dee Evers
Susan Fay
Geralynn Finnegan MA
John Galbraith
Paul Gibson
Debbie Hewlett
Judy Hilyard
Tracey Howard
Blaine Howitt
Lance Howitt
Christine Hunter-Robertson
Kris Kaufman
Cindra Kellogg
Ogden Kellogg
Ruth Klaus
Quin Ley
Regina Linsday
Julie Lockhart
Toni Lovaglia
Dee Marlow
Betty Martin
Yula Mata
Nadine Mayer
Charlie McChesney
Kate McKenzie
Ginny Miller
Meg Mocabee
Mark Moeglein
Jan & Michael Murphy
Nicole Naylor
Lisa Norvell
Richard Nudleman
Sherry Nurre
Kim Oveson
Gina Patterson
Nick Probowski
Susan Kramer-Pope
Martha Rivera
Kasey Roberts
Cecilia Rodriguez
Barbara Ross
Chuck Ross
Thomas Russell
Lois Schlegel
Karen Sheelar
Cindy & Sidney Sleight
Fern Snogren
Shirley South
David Speigel
Laura Stanislawski
Joseph Talboom
Jennifer Thorer
Jim Titus
Grant Tressel
Patricia Van Evera
Meri Walker
Susan Wallace
Doug Werner
Lucinda Weatherby
Lynn Whitaker
Cassie Wood
Dwindy Wood
Robert Woodhouse
THANK YOU TO ALL OF OUR GENEROUS CONTRIBUTORS !
THANK YOU BUSINESSES & FOUNDATIONS!
This is a list of donors who contributed to WinterSpring since our last newsletter. We try hard to keep accurate
records. If you see any errors or omissions, please let us know so we can provide proper thanks and recognition.
In Memory Of…
INDIVIDUAL GIFTS
Al South
Dana Collord
Shirley South
Patricia South
Shirley South
William & Carol Finnell
Jason Stansberry
Rusty Erbes
Tom & Faye Swanton
Kathy Swanton
Judi Swanton
Kathy Swanton
Dr. Eugene H. Tennyson, JR
Ann Leslie Tennyson
Morgan Tibbets
Carl Caplan &
Ruth Ann Schwada
Angelika Titus
Joy MacKenzie
Susan E. Vasbinder
Charlie McChesney
John David Ware
Diane Ware
David, Richard and Randy
Bill and Leanne Wray
Sierra Zanger
Tracy Parks Lamblin
Anne Ainsworth
Elizabeth Aitken
Tamara Alter
Catharyne Ashman
Vickie Augustine
Marilyn Austin
Sarah Avery-Meyers
Paula Backus
Richard and Donna Baize
Maria Barnes
F. J. & Carolyn Barrett
Ted & Jean Barss
Jamie Barton
Andy & Annette Batzer
Alan Berlin
Diane Berry
Elizabeth Branch
Sharon Brock
James & Janis Bronson
Emily Brooks
Carol Browning
Arlene Callander
Deena Cattanach
Byron & Patricia Chatfield
Susan Chrysler
Salvatore Ciuro
Michael & Betty Clark
Mike Clark
Eleanor Compton &
Kay Cavalier
Greg Conaway
Art Coolidge
Katherine Cox
Dionne Croletto
Mary Cronk
Carmen Darling
Mike Davis
Helene De Martinez
Carol Delsman
Elizabeth Demaret
Tom and Angel DeShane
Barbara Donneaud
Jennifer Downs
Dana Durant
Christine Eberhardt
Marilyn Edwards
Birgitta Ericsson
Jim & Rebecca Estremado
Dee Evers
Megan Farnsworth
Jean Farouche
Holly Ferguson
Karen Ferris
Kerry Ferris
Edward & Sheryl Fierro
Alice Fitzgerald
Marjorie Frank
Annie Funkhouser
Alan Galka & Dorre Ray
Diane Garcia
Ginger Gartlan
James Gentry
Liz Gibbons
Julia Goforth
Jeremy Goodwin
Patricia Gordon
Barbara Griffin
Leonard Griggs
Lisa Groover
Su Grossmann
William & Bette Haberlach
Marvin Hackwell
Allen Hallmark
Lois Hamilton
Mary Hamilton
Hayriya Hansen
Donna Harloff
Barbara Harper
Linda Harris
Carol Hawkinson
Susan & Christian Hearn
Sharon Heisel
Debra Hewlett
Judy Hilyard
Arlene Hoag
Mark Holden
Emily Holgen
Richard Hoskins
Karen Hueston
Donna Hunt
Christine Hunter-Robertson
Karol Igou
Ann P. and Edward L. Istel
Sharon Jackson
Steven Neuberger
Heather Jenard
Mary Jenny-Saltmarsh
Donnis Lausmann
Brenda Johnson
Brad and Eliza Kauder
John & Leanna Keener
Allene Kehoe
Cindra & Ogden Kellogg
Dion Ray
Karin Kiteley
Michael Koester
Sue Koury
Tracy Parks Lamblin
Katharine Lang
Lois Langlois
John & Nancy Linton
Julie Lockhart
Porter & Corrine Lombard
Jeff Louie
Toni Lovaglia
Ann Macrory
Rogue Manor
Bill Mansfield
Suzanne Marie
Dee & Robert Marlow
Don & Donna Marshall
Cheryl Martin
Michele Martin
Julie Martinez Mendez
Amy Mccallan
Tim & Maggie McCartney
Kate McKenzie
Sugar Mejia
Carol Miller
Ginny Miller
Mark Moeglein
Madison Monroe
Vickie Murray
Cindy Nagel
Bill & Carol Nelson
Lisa Nichols
Vickie Nigh
Lisa Norvell
Peter & Margaret Norvell
Richard Nudelman
Sherry Nurre
Diane Pace
Maria-Cristina Page
Ellen Panfil
Judson Parsons
Kathi Patterson
Sarah Paul
Montross & Kathleen Pelton
Janet Pendleton
Susannah Perillat
Heather Philp
Robin Potochnick
Lindsay Reaves
Shannon Rio FNP &
Kirk Gooding MD
Ted & Barbara Roner
Anne Marie Rose
Ali Ross
Barbara Ross
Charles M. Ross &
Kimberly Kay Howitt Ross
Chuck & Kim Ross
Cory Ross
Katherine Ross
Cheri Rumelhart
Marla Samuel
Anita Sartain
Mark Scarpaci
George & Claudia Schindler
Lois Schlegel
Meri Schneider
Tim Schoeneberg
Pat Scuitto
Teresa Searle
Pamela Semas
Jack & Sarah Seybold
Carolyn Shaffer
Karen Sheelar
Kay Lynne Sherman
Lynn & Doris Sjolund
Patsy Smullin
Eve Smyth
Donald Sorum
Shirley South
Joan Spear
David Speigel
Cliff Stein
Gary & Carol Swanson
Sharon Swinyard
Sears & Audrey Taylor
Jennifer Thorer
Judy TiceHurst &
Philip Hickman
Jim Titus
Barbara Usselman-Crofoot
Patricia VanEvera
Diane Werich
Robert Werner
Jane Whaley
Michele Wright
In Memory Of…
Given by…
Paul Ainsworth
Al & Sally Densmore
Sypko Andreae
Paul & Carol Hwoschinsky
Alvin & Loree Boswell
Shirley South
Lonna Fay Bramhall
Donald Bramhall
Michael Bruhn
John & Diane Engelhardt
Debra Koutnik
Lynn Carnes
Kenny & Karen Vanover
Cassidy Carroll
Ronald E.& Jean Durkee
Whitney Chatfield
Paul Nash
Joseph Crawford
Dorothy Parke
Frank Desimone
Carl Caplan &
Ruth Ann Schwada
Mark & Gwen Schiveley
Art Dubs
Roy & Sheila Kimball
Henry Dutala
Edward Hyde
Wanda Fadness
Cydne Collins
Hank Fennel
Kathy Bryon
Belle Garner
Elenora Halliday & Family
Robert Goldberg
Dolores Goldberg
Genita Hamilton
Alan Hamilton
Louise Hueners
Gordon Elwood Foundation
Michael & Jan Murphy
Mark John Keiser
Eric and Leslie Keiser
Dixon E. & Golden Kenner
Jenna Benson
Linda Sue King
Kenny & Karen Vanover
Mamma Leavitt, T. Lovella
Leavitt & Jean R. Leavitt
Blandine Leavitt
Jack Loessi
Karen Loessi
Johanna & Dan Mandell
Lance & Fayegail Bisaccia
Grampa/Papa Bill Martin
Betty Martin
Morgan Lynn Maynard-Cook
Catherine Astell
Dylan Robert McNeil
Sabrina McNeil
Wendy Eleanor Miles
Janet Cooley McChesney
Art Millette
Blandine Leavitt
Bill Morgan
Bonnie Morgan
John Christopher Norris
John & Dianne Norris
Judy Overstake
Kathy Swanton
Joshua Peterson
Stephanie Lowe &
Nathaniel J. Peterson
Don Pollock
Lori Pollock
Warren G. Povey M.D.
Joel & Robin Turgesen
Milt & Dolores Ragsdale
Lisa Ragsdale Schjelderup
Ben Rogers
Tracy Parks Lamblin
Donn & Marie Rogers
Larry & Karen
Nollenberger
James P. Rogers
Larry & Karen
Nollenberger
Kyle Charles Ross
Chuck & Sue Ross
Eva Russell
Mark & Gwen Schiveley
Judge Loren L. Sawyer
Sandra Sawyer
Charles Schiveley
Mark & Gwen Schiveley
Steven Sherbourne
Michelle Obereigner
Adrianna A. Sloan
Ann Sloan
Elton & Wanda Smith
Ron & Linda Wilson
Given by…
Grant Supporters:
Autzen Foundation
Ben Cheney Foundation
The Carpenter Foundation
City of Ashland
Cow Creek Umpqua Indian
Foundation
Ford Family Foundation
Harrington Family Foundation
Lausmann Foundation
Meyer Memorial Trust
PacificSource
Rotary Club of Central Point
Robert and Frances Chaney Family
Foundation
Southern Oregon Friends of Hospice
United Way of Jackson County
In Honor Of…
Given by…
Sue Carroll
Ronald E.&
JeanDurkee
Dana Knoke
Judith Dolmatch
Jay & Patricia Murray
Duane & Margaret Murray
Jerry & Kathleen (Michael’s
parents)
Michael Swick
Gifts-In Kind
Angel DeShane
Anna Maria Creekside
Ashland Community Health Center
Ashland Food Coop
Avamere
Jenna Benson
Dee Evers
Marjorie Frank
Horton Plaza
Jay Dee Barry Design & Print
Helene De Martinez
Kid Time
Leinani Lundahl
Bill Mansfield Attorney at Law
Dee Marlow
Karen Nollenberger
Richard Nudelman
Veranda Park
Barb Ross
Shop ‘n Kart
Kay Lynne Sherman
Cindy Sleight
Shirley South
Cilette Swann
Skylark Assisted Living
Talent Public Library
Jim Titus
Business Donations:
Ashland Acupuncture
Ashland Food Co-op
Ashland Mountain Supply
Jenna Benson
Brothers Restaurant
Cafe 116
Camelot Theatre Company
Dagoba Chocolate
Angel DeShane
Family Massage Education Center
Greenleaf Restaurant
Gus Janeway
Glow
Gypsy Soul
James Keigher
Leinani Lundahl
Dee Marlow
Donny McDonald
Medford Food Co-op
Nimbus of Ashland
Omar’s Restaurant
Original Roadhouse Grill
Padington Station
Pendragon Pens
Protectors Insurance
Rogue Valley Manor
Soundpeace
Shirley South
Terra Firma
Candy Wooding
Zoe’s Cafe
Non-Profit
Organization
U.S. Postage Paid
Permit No. 190
Medford, OR
WinterSpring
P.O. Box 8169
Medford, OR 97501
Return Service Requested
Facing Loss, Embracing Life Again ~ Together
Thank you!
Gypsy Soul Benefit Concert
his past year, our community of supporters
T
has helped us help over 600 people with loss.
Here’s a brief snapshot of our work:
• You have made it possible for a community
group to process a suicide loss in a safe
environment.
• You have made it possible for a team of
volunteers to go into a local school to
support students and staff after the death
of a student.
• You have made it possible for a teen to feel
heard after the death of his mother.
• You have made it possible to support a
grieving family of five children whose
father suicided before Christmas last year.
• You have made it possible for a widower
to embrace a new and different life after
losing his wife of 40 years.
• You have made it possible for a group of
aging adults to find community and solace
through sharing their experiences of loss.
• And much, much more!
Your continued support means so much to the
grieving children, teens and adults in our valley!
Friday, Dec. 20 and Saturday, Dec. 21, 7:30
Unitarian Church, 4th and C in Ashland
Tickets $18 ahead or $22 at the door
www.winterspring.org/events/ or 541-552-0621