Life is Not a Rehearsal

fall
| 2012
A Triannual Newsletter
of Hospice of the Valley
Living Ever y Moment
“I have always told
people that life is not
a rehearsal. You have to
live it while you’re here.”
“Life is Not a Rehearsal”
By Victoria Emmons
I search for apartment #241 on a
quiet, shady street in Santa Clara,
a neighborhood I have never visited.
A nearby door suddenly swings open
and a perfectly coiffed, silver-haired
woman steps out to greet me. With
an infectious smile and sparkling
eyes, Anna Thumann, 85, welcomes
me to her home. I am there to learn
about the early years of her life, an
adventure she likens to a Shirley
Temple movie, and to hear about
her hospice experience.
After spending a year and a half
as a caregiver for a longtime
friend, Anna was diagnosed with
lung cancer only two and a half
weeks after her friend’s death.
It was then that she decided it
was time to write her story about
growing up on Alcatraz Island,
a story she had wanted to share
for a long time.
“It’s all in my book,” the newly
published author tells me as she
holds up a paperback copy of
Alcatraz Schoolgirl: A Memoir,
My Life on the Rock.
Most people wouldn’t admit to
living on Alcatraz, the famous island
in San Francisco Bay that housed
some of America’s most famous
criminals. The island became
a federal penitentiary in 1934,
the same year Anna and her sister
Dorothy arrived from Odenton,
Maryland, along with their mother
to start a new life with their soon-tobe stepfather.
“I was only seven years old and,
at that moment, life seemed really
good,” Anna writes in her memoir.
“As a kid, I loved every minute of it.”
She would live on Alcatraz until age
17, her formative years influenced
by the loving and protective cocoon
surrounding the families who made
the small island their home. They
lived next door to heinous criminals;
but Anna recalls her childhood as
“innocent” and oblivious to the
depression gripping the country
during the 1930s. Her memoir tells
of playing jump rope with her sister,
a schoolgirl crush on a boy who
shared the island, watching the
construction of the Golden Gate
Bridge which she roller-skated across
on opening day, and riding barges
every day to school in San Francisco.
Anna chose to remain in the
San Francisco Bay Area after her
coming of age on Alcatraz ended
in 1943. She worked as a school
Continues on page 8
TM
Hospice of the Valley Vignettes
Please welcome Jim Yates, JD,
CPHRM, CLS, ASCP, director of risk
management and patient safety
with Good Samaritan Hospital,
San Jose and newest
member of Hospice of the
Valley’s Ethics Committee
and Development
Committee. As a member
of the Ethics Committee,
he will address ethical
issues that may arise in
the delivery of care and
as a member of the Development
Committee, he will work with staff to
identify, develop and support new
fundraising opportunities.
Over 300 new and longtime gala guests,
sponsors, donors, and supporters raised
over $212,000 during Hospice of the
Valley’s “Silver and Spurs” Western Gala
held May 4 at the Fairmont Hotel San
Jose! Proceeds will benefit Hospice of
the Valley’s programs and community
services in Santa Clara County.
Honorary chairs were longtime
supporters and current board member
and past board chair, respectively,
Sylvia and Jim Katzman of Saratoga.
Jill Stein of San Jose served as the
event chair.
Our president & chief executive
officer Sally Adelus was among the
health care hero finalists honored
on May 10 at the Silicon Valley/
San Jose Business Journal’s Health
Care Heroes Awards program held
at the Computer History Museum
in Mountain View. The program
highlighted the top men and
women in the Silicon Valley health
care industry where Sally was a
finalist in the administrator category.
CHAPTERS
Carolyn DeLeon, DM, was named
chairman-elect of the Hospice of
the Valley board of directors in July.
A member of the board since
2008, Dr. DeLeon has over
16 years of health care
experience, both clinical
and administrative,
with an emphasis
on executive
leadership and human
resource management.
Monique Kuo, MD,
Hospice of the Valley
medical director, was
presented the STAR
Caregiver Award
on March 9 at the
Cancer Support
Community Silicon
Valley’s 4th annual Awards Gala
held at the Palo Alto Hills Golf and
Country Club. The award was in
recognition of her outstanding
contributions to improving the quality
of life for cancer patients.
Photo Credit: Kymberli Brady
Hospice of the Valley is pleased
to name George Labban, MD,
hematology/oncology
physician and
Caravita Sansonia, JD,
health care law
attorney to its
Professional Advisory
Board. Dr. Labban
and Ms. Sansonia will
provide professional expertise, advice,
and support to Hospice
of the Valley, as well as
assist in the development
of beneficial relationships
between Hospice of the
Valley and social services
and health organizations in
our community.
| Hospice of the Valley | Fall | 2
Save the date for the 2013 Western
Gala scheduled for Saturday, June 1,
2013 at Coyote Ranch, San Jose! ■
Thank You to Our
2012 “Silver and Spurs”
Western Gala Sponsors!
Almaden Valley Athletic Club
■
Good Samaritan Hospital
Brannon’s Medical
■
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Dignity Memorial
Jon R. Crase Construction, Inc.
Leavitt Pacific Insurance Brokers, Inc.
O’Connor Hospital
■
■
MD-Mart
■
NPC Consulting
Palo Alto Medical Foundation
A Fresh Perspective on the
Affordable Care Act Ruling
In a landmark ruling this
summer, the Supreme
Court of the United States
upheld nearly all of the
Affordable Care Act. The
Act will have sweeping
consequences for the
economy and America’s
health care system. One
aspect of our health care
system that has been in
the media frequently and
under the microscope is the
care and management of patients
with chronic illnesses. Included in
health care reform legislation are
proposed penalties for hospitals
that readmit patients with certain
chronic conditions within 30 days.
It is our belief that, in order to
enhance patient care while
reducing multiple hospitalizations and
unnecessary visits to the emergency
room, we must elevate palliative and
hospice care to be included within
the overall continuum of care. To do
that, we must raise awareness and
continue to educate about the value
of palliative and hospice care.
Palliative and hospice care are
proven models to provide expert
care and support while also
managing costs of care most
efficiently during a serious illness
and at the end of life. Palliative care
is appropriate at any stage of a
serious illness and can be provided
together with curative and life
prolonging treatment to relieve
the symptoms, pain and stress of
a serious illness—whatever the
diagnosis. Additionally, patients
and family caregivers can receive
emotional and practical support as
they navigate their way through the
decision process. Once the decision
is made to forgo curative treatment,
hospice care becomes an invaluable
Photo Credit: Alain McLaughlin
by Sally Adelus, President & Chief Executive Officer
option and an integral
part of the continuum
of care.
This is the time for a
radical shift in the way
we think about the
future of our health
care system. Rather
than palliative and
hospice care being
considered options
when “nothing more can be done,”
these specialized areas of care and
support must be better integrated
throughout the care continuum —
enhancing the overall quality of
care and patient experience,
reducing multiple hospitalizations
and unnecessary visits to the
emergency room and, ultimately,
better managing the costs of
health care. ■
Editor’s Note: Hospice of the Valley
plans to open the first independent,
outpatient palliative care center
in Northern California later this year.
The Palliative Care Center|Silicon
Valley™ will serve individuals who
have serious illness and require the
care and support of a palliative
care team of professionals. We’re
proud that our board of directors
recognizes this need and supports
our effort to bring these services to
you. Special thanks to the members
of the board palliative care center
committee, including Zoe Alameda,
Valerie Burniece, Robert Mastman,
MD, Sally Adelus, Jim Ptak,
Neal Slatkin, MD, Andrew Irish and
the committee chairman Art Adams.
Additional thanks to board member
Sutton Roley whose tireless support
and efforts resulted in securing a
location for the Center.
To support the Palliative Care Center
| Silicon Valley, visit hospicevalley.org
to donate or learn more.
CHAPTERS
The new Palliative Care Center |
Silicon Valley™ would not be possible
without the support of many
individuals and organizations that
have generously donated their
time and resources. Thank you to
all who have contributed to this vital
community program!
Grants
CJ Berry Foundation
Members of the Silicon Valley
Capital Club
Members of the Rotary Club
of Cupertino
Other Donors
Art & Denise Adams
John & Sally Adelus
Alameda Family Funeral &
Cremation, Inc.
Berliner Cohen
George T. Block, MD, &
Mariam M. Wahab
Debra A. Zink Brody
Valerie Norwood Burniece &
Thomas F. Burniece, III
Jim & Ann Cashman
Pamela Cochrane
Sandi & Richard Conniff
Carolyn M. DeLeon, DM
Vince & Patrice Evans
Nanci & Gary Fredkin
John Frazer
Linda Golino
Roberta & Kevin Hayashi
Elizabeth Hines
Sylvia & Jim Katzman
Harris & Sharon Meyers
James Newman
Marilyn A. Park
John F. Pignatelli
Jim Ptak
Sutton Roley
Michael & Annie Rubenstein
Terry & Nina Rutledge
Héctor Sánchez-Flores &
Lucila Ramos-Sanchez
Kathy & Felix Schuda
Barbara Sherman
Rajeev & Kathy Singh
Neal Slatkin, MD & Michelle Rhiner
Lawrence C. Stenicka
Jeff & Elizabeth Strawn
Robert & Jessa Taccini
Euan Thomson &
Allison Jones Thomson
Frank G. Vasquez
Audrey Viterbi
John Welch
Glen R. Wiley
Randall & Jan Willoughby
Chris & Kim Worrall
Alejandro Zepeda
| Hospice of the Valley | Fall | 3
Helping Real People:
An Intern’s Experience
by Jennifer Ngo
The steering wheel feels hot under my
fingers as I drive just a little too slowly
down Union Avenue. I had heard the
driveway to Hospice of the Valley
was easy to miss. I’m twenty-one
and lamenting the fact that I chose
to do an Ethics Internship when
I could be sunbathing — it’s my senior
year after all. I park the car, enter the
building and go through the motions,
“Hello, my name is Jenn. I’m here for
the internship.” I’m sure this whole
thing will be purely academic, an
afternoon of scientific observation.
Those were my thoughts before
I began, but thankfully I was very
wrong. This afternoon, and all
the others I would spend at
Hospice of the Valley, would
contain something unexpected.
My assignment was to observe ethics
in action, to see how people with
terminal illnesses should be treated—
that’s what I prepared for. What
I never expected was learning about
whose daughter was about to have
a second baby, what somebody
else’s father wore on his wedding day
or why beans on toast is an excellent
breakfast. By the time I finished my
rotation with Hospice of the Valley,
I was blessed with more families and
loved ones than I had when I walked
in. I began looking forward to my
afternoons visiting patients’ homes
more than Friday nights or trips to the
mall. The hours spent going through
photo albums and walking through
all those lifetimes fulfilled me in ways
that I had never thought possible.
I’m still not sure who I related to
more, the health care providers of
Hospice of the Valley or their patients.
Though I ultimately chose to enter a
health care profession, I still feel as
though I received as much therapy
and counseling as the people we
visited. Every day brought a new
perspective on life for me; I gained
years of maturity and worldly
knowledge in just a few weeks.
While it wasn’t without sadness,
watching families cope with death
led me to a greater understanding
of my own attitudes at life. Something
changes in you when you see a man
get baptized on his deathbed. It fills
you with light and suddenly you’re
experiencing something greater
than yourself, when you realize that
your breath is in sync with everybody
else’s. That we didn’t share the same
religion was irrelevant. We were there,
together, united in our own eyes and
through our respective higher powers.
This reflection is supposed to end
with how these experiences have
influenced me professionally.
Unfortunately, I can’t tease out the
professional me from the rest of my
life. Visiting Hospice of the Valley
provided me with a viewpoint on
life and people that I could never
have gotten through my average
daily routine. Those new perspectives
have carried into my work, allowing
me to look beyond the practicalities
of someone’s situation and see a
person seeking answers and comfort.
It taught me that being professional
does not mean being clinical.
Hospice of the Valley showed me
not to dismiss potentially invaluable
experiences and to make what
I do count for something beyond a
good day’s work. Most importantly,
it reinforced my reasons for working
in health care in the first place:
to help real people. ■
Jennifer (“Jenn”) Ngo participated
in the Health Care Ethics Internship
during the 2009–2010 academic year
and completed two rotations at
Hospice of the Valley. She graduated
from Santa Clara University in June 2010
with a bachelor’s degree in biochemistry.
Jenn is currently attending dental school
at University of the Pacific and will be
graduating in June 2013.
Hospice of the Valley is proud to partner
with The Markkula Center for Applied
Ethics at Santa Clara University to
provide this unique internship opportunity
for undergraduates.
CHAPTERS
| Hospice of the Valley | Fall | 4
CHAPTER TWO
Community Grief & Counseling News
Summer Vacation:
It’s Just Not the Same
By Victoria Emmons
As grief counselors remind me,
I should be well past William Worden’s
Fourth Task of Mourning—“To Find
an Enduring Connection with the
Deceased in the Midst of Embarking
on a New Life.”1 My husband’s death
happened nearly two years ago,
after all. I should be “renewing energy
and interest in life activities” by now.
I started to make my summer
vacation plans a few months ago.
Settling my itinerary early on helps
me get the best airline prices, good
hotels and a chance to sift through
tourist attractions online. It gives me
time to get mentally prepared for
packing bags, reserving my pet
sitter and arranging for a rental car.
But this year, something was missing.
1. J. William Worden,“Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy,
4th ed.” (New York: Springer Publishing Company, 2009) 50.
My husband Jack had always
devised our vacation driving route.
He had taken care of the plants
before we left town, stopped the
newspaper delivery, and scratched
the dogs’ ears one more playful time
before saying goodbye to them for
a week. He had always reminded
me to pack lightly when I wanted
to stuff unnecessary clothes in my
suitcase. My vacation would no
longer be the same without him.
And I felt anxious about it.
Special times like a family vacation
can easily trigger anxiety, even for
someone who is not suffering grief.
My friend Brad Leary, director of
Hospice of the Valley’s Community
Grief & Counseling Center, always
reminds me that it is normal to feel
guilty or anxious about moving forward in life without your loved one.
I know he is right. And I listen to
what Brad advises.
Taking risks with something new
requires courage. Yet without
taking risks, I will not progress, learn
or change. I will simply stagnate in
my own life. Moving forward is tough
for those of us who grieve. Summer
vacations are tough. I know I will be
stronger if I do take risks, plan my new
kind of vacation, and think of all the
possibilities that may come of it. Jack
would want me to enjoy the rest of
my life and to be happy. He would
want me to have a nice vacation.
For those who suffer through the pain
of grief, life can eventually take on a
new face. With help from people like
Brad and the many grief counselors
at Hospice of the Valley, recovery is
possible. I don’t advise trying to do
this alone. I am guilty of thinking I
could manage just fine. I learned very
quickly that I needed friends and
family to listen, professionals to advise
and colleagues to help me. That is all
a necessary part of the grief process.
My vacation this summer will
be different from what I had
experienced for the past 23 years.
I will map all my own routes, make
the flight arrangements, and hire
the pet sitter. I will think of Jack as
I pack my bags, knowing his advice
was correct. I will remember him as
I select my travel wardrobe and it will
bring me some small joy. I will fly off to
Montana, a state I have never seen
before, to enjoy the mountainous
landscapes and visit my wonderful
family. Life is still good. ■
For information about grief support groups
or individual counseling offered by the
Community Grief & Counseling Center,
call 1.408.559.5600.
CHAPTER 2
| Hospice of the Valley | Fall | i
Photo Credit: Chelsea Byom
Loss “Ties” Family
and Strangers Together
By Chelsea Byom
Sarah Lee Norman has always
been an artistic type. Her mother
and grandmother were seamstresses
by trade, teaching Sarah as a young
girl to sew. “I don’t ever remember
being without crayons and glue
and scissors and needle and thread,”
said Sarah. “They have been my
support through life. Everything
was always art.”
It should be no surprise that when
a theme emerged for her son’s
50th birthday party requiring guests
to wear a men’s tie, Sarah couldn’t
settle on using it as just a belt or
a scarf. “On a whim, I took a tie that
had been my husband’s, made a
rose out of it, and wore it as a
corsage,” said Sarah. While Sarah
maintains that creating the rose
was “not any big involved thing,”
its symbolism is rich.
The tie Sarah selected to use for her
rose corsage, red with white polka
dots, was handmade by her mother.
“Mother made all my dad’s ties, and
she often gave them to my husband
Fred. When I see this rose sitting on
my jewelry box, I think of her as well
as him. And it just makes me feel
good. They had an extremely close
relationship,” said Sarah.
Sarah’s mother and husband
Fred grew close when their health
declined. “Mother started one year
and Fred started just a year later,”
said Sarah. Her mother, in her late
90s, had congestive heart failure
and Fred, in his late 70s, had been
diagnosed with aortic dissection.
“They were very supportive of each
other during that period,” said Sarah.
CHAPTER 2
| Hospice of the Valley | Fall | ii
Sarah Norman wears the rose corsage
she made from her husband’s tie.
After nine years of illness, both
Sarah’s mother and Fred utilized
Hospice of the Valley services within
a year.“I would have preferred to
start hospice care for Mother when
she had six months to live, but she
didn't want to. Someone somewhere
told her that, once you get on
hospice, it’s all fun and games.
Mother said, ‘I don’t have time for
fun and games. I have a life to live
in what I have left,’” recalled Sarah.
“After a very frustrating six months
of battling with Medicare for
coverage of Mother’s treatments,
I simply had run out of ways to deal
with all the little episodes that were
coming up. One day I finally told
her, ‘You may not need hospice,
but I need hospice.’”
Sarah’s mother did eventually begin
hospice care and, as Sarah recalled,
“Once Mother experienced those
first connections with her hospice
team, she very quickly said, ‘Why
in the world did I not accept this
when you offered it before?’”
A year later, Sarah took Fred to the
hospital for pain on a Wednesday
and again on Friday. “When we got
to the hospital on Friday evening,
Fred said ‘I think we should call
hospice.’ He had seen the care they
had offered Mother, but I’m sure that,
in his mind, he was getting it for me.”
Fred passed away on June 22, 2010,
after three weeks of hospice care.
Sarah found she was coping well with
the loss of her mother and husband
in that first year. After the anniversary
of Fred’s death, Sarah realized she
might benefit from counseling when
she began to think about what was
next in her life. “I asked myself, ‘What’s
my goal? Where do I want to head
with the rest of my life?’” said Sarah.
Her artistic mind created a visual
to express her feelings. “I constantly
was at this gate—dark, wrought
iron-like gate. The gate would open,
but I would turn back because there
were all these unmarked paths going
everywhere into nothingness. Rather
than choosing blindly, it was easier to
stay on the dark side of the gate.”
One of the benefits of hospice care
are grief support services offered
after the loss of a loved one. Sarah
made the call to the Community
Grief & Counseling Center and,
working with her grief counselor
Kathryn Lodato, Sarah was able to
come to a new visual. “One day
Kathryn asked me if I still had times
when I felt like I was at those gates.
It wasn’t until I was in the car on the
way home that I realized that the
gates were no longer in front of me;
they were behind me. And they were
no longer black; they were white. It
was like the world had just righted
itself again,” said Sarah.
After completing individual grief
counseling, Sarah joined the Healing
Hearts support group in September
2011. “I wore my rose corsage to
group one day. The group members
were asking about it, so I told them
the story behind it,” said Sarah. “They
really liked that idea so I offered
to make roses for them from their
husband’s ties.”
“Once Mother
experienced those first
connections with her
hospice team, she very
quickly said, ‘Why in
the world did I not
accept this when you
offered it before?’”
“I think receiving the rose had a
lot of individual meaning for each
person. For me, it was just good to
do something for somebody else.”
When asked what Fred would think
of turning his tie into a rose, Sarah
replied laughingly, “He’d say, ‘Well,
what is she going to do next?!’
But he would have also made the
connection between Mother and
he and I—the trio that we were
those last few years.” ■
CHAPTER 2
| Hospice of the Valley | Fall | iii
Annual Memorial Celebration
Honors Patients and Families
September 21—
8th Annual Kent Kirkorian
Memorial Golf Tournament,
Cinnabar Hills Golf Club,
San Jose
October 20—
Silicon Valley Broomstick Ball
Benefiting Hospice of the Valley,
7 pm, Hayes Mansion, San Jose
November 7—
"Getting Through the Holidays"
Workshop, 7 pm,
Hospice of the Valley
December 2—
By Jeanne Wun
The Community Grief & Counseling
Center hosts its annual memorial
celebration at Hakone Gardens for
our families, staff and community
members that we’ve had the honor
and privilege to serve. Hakone
Gardens, the oldest Asian estate
and garden in the Western
Hemisphere, is eighteen acres of
tranquility, peace and harmony
nestled in the verdant hills of
Saratoga, overlooking Silicon Valley.
On June 6, over 110 guests gathered
at the magnificent and historic
setting that provided the perfect
place for our memorial celebration
to unfold which included music,
readings, testimonials, reflections
and a circle of blessings ceremony
with refreshments at the conclusion
of the program.
Wings of Remembrance
Memorial Event, 2 pm,
Support Groups
Beginning the Week of
Kids Group, Senior
Partner Loss, Suicide Loss,
Expressive Arts
Twice Monthly—
2nd and 4th Mondays:
Step by Step (Second
Year Partner Loss)
2nd and 4th Wednesdays:
Healing Hearts (Second
Year Senior Partner Loss)
CHAPTER 2
Photo Credit: Jeanne Wun
Wednesdays:
For more information about the
Community Grief & Counseling
Center and its memorial events,
visit hospicevalley.org/griefsupport.
Special thanks to Hakone Gardens
and its executive director/CEO
Lon Saavedra for supporting our
memorial celebration! ■
By Jeanne Wun
November 5
Partner Loss, Parent Loss
The Community Grief
& Counseling Center
interns (L to R) Steve Lo,
Linda Mastrangelo, and
Michele Barbic pose
with grief counselor Kristina Gatto at the
Hakone Gardens memorial celebration.
Mother’s Day Tea
Brings Comfort and Peace
Hospice of the Valley
Weekly—
Mondays:
Photo Credit: Jeanne Wun
Hospice of the Valley
2012 Calendar
On May 11, the conference
room at Hospice of the
Valley was transformed into
an intimate setting with a
mix of decorative ceramic
teapots and teacups for
19 daughters attending
the Mother’s Day Tea. The
Mother’s Day Tea provided
a safe place for these daughters to
share and celebrate their respective
mother’s life.
A daughter graciously shared the
following, “Hospice of the Valley was
a great support and remains a gift
that keeps giving. As I approached
the first Mother’s Day without my
precious mother, I wondered if I didn’t
acknowledge it, it wouldn’t hurt so
| Hospice of the Valley | Fall | iv
much. I had mixed emotions about
the tea. When I arrived, I heard
the harp; I hoped to contain my
emotions. Each daughter spoke
about her mother and how hard it is
to lose your mother. I understand her
completely. That’s what the tea was
for me—knowing everything I had
felt for nearly a year was shared—
it was valid. I came away with so
much gratitude for the gift that was
my mother. On Sunday, I woke with
a feeling of peace. Though my
mother was not down the hall, her
love rested in my heart and would
always be there. I wanted a sign, any
sign that my mother was still part of
me. I am convinced the peace I felt
on Mother’s Day was that sign.” ■
Photo Credit: Alain McLaughlin
San Jose Junior League Honors
Ann Begun for Volunteerism
By Victoria Emmons
Ann Begun is the consummate
saleswoman. At 4:45 sharp one
summer afternoon, she is quietly
selling her array of handmade
necklaces and earrings. The quartz
and Swarovski crystal pieces in green,
brown and blue are displayed on
the table in Hospice of the Valley’s
conference room, a makeshift jewelry
store. The proceeds of this impromptu
sale, one in a long line of Ann’s
volunteer activities, will benefit
Hospice of the Valley.
It is this dedication and commitment
that earned Ann, a longtime Hospice
of the Valley volunteer, the Junior
League of San Jose Crystal Bowl
Award presented to her on March 30,
2012. The award is given annually to
honor service and volunteerism in the
Silicon Valley community.
Ann became a volunteer with
Hospice of the Valley in 2008 after
completing an extensive volunteer
training program. She immediately
helped develop the Pet Companion
program for hospice and Transitions
program families. Ann makes sure
that all four-legged volunteers pass
nationally-recognized testing and
that their vaccinations and other
required documents are current. She
trained her own two dogs, Hope and
Jamie, to become Pet Companions.
“Some patients are very concerned
about finding homes for their pets
prior to their death,” says Victoria Wild,
director of volunteers at Hospice
of the Valley. “Ann has worked
diligently with rescue agencies,
animal shelters and the SPCA to
ensure safe and loving homes for
our patients’ four-legged friends. This
has involved arranging to have dogs
neutered, inoculated, personality
tested and more. Nothing seems
too much trouble for Ann.”
Crystal Bowl winner Ann Begun with her
yellow lab, Hope, bring unconditional love
to our patients and clients, as Hospice of
the Valley Pet Companion volunteers.
Ann educated the clinical
team about the benefits of Pet
Companions and she is working
to achieve program recognition
by the American Kennel Club.
She organizes training classes and
recruits new participants, both
owners and their dogs.
“The reward for Ann is always in
the ‘doing’,” says Wild. “She truly
has a ‘passion to serve’ whether
it is the families she is assigned,
the dogs she helps train, the
volunteers she helps mentor or
the jewelry she creates—she
does none of it for herself, but with
the desire to serve.” ■
Professional Education Yields
Better Care for Patients and Families
Photo Credit: Jeremy Waldorph Photography
By Chelsea Byom
Hospice of the Valley chaplain Pamela Nates
opens the Compassion in Action conference
with an invocation.
Maintaining work-life balance is
important in any career. For the
nurses, social workers, chaplains,
physicians, and volunteers who
care each day for the seriously-ill
and dying, they have the added
task of finding time to grieve
and reinvigorate their spirit of
compassion. Offering two major
educational events each spring,
Hospice of the Valley is a recognized
leader in education and support for
end-of-life professionals throughout
Northern California. This year,
Hospice of the Valley hosted its
5th annual Compassion in Action
conference on Thursday and Friday,
March 29–30, 2012, and the Hospice
Foundation of America’s End-of-Life
Ethics educational program on
Thursday, April 19, 2012.
For the first time in its five-year history,
Compassion in Action paired a
free community lecture with the
one-day conference for health care
professionals. Over 200 attendees
gathered each day on the beautiful
Santa Clara University (SCU) campus
for this one-of-a-kind educational
opportunity. “[Compassion in Action]
may be the best, well-organized,
and passionate trainings of the year,”
commented one attendee.
Hospice of the Valley is proud to
partner with SCU to provide this
conference for the last five years,
and we are especially grateful to
Dale Larson, PhD, professor of
counseling psychology at SCU for
his ongoing support.
Continues on page 6 — Education
CHAPTERS
| Hospice of the Valley | Fall | 5
Sharks Foundation Supports Children’s Grief Program
The San Jose Sharks are busy with
more than fending off competitors
on the ice. The local sports heroes
support the Sharks Foundation, the
philanthropic arm of the hockey
franchise. Hospice of the Valley was
a recent recipient of a generous
$25,000 grant from the Sharks
Foundation to support our children’s
bereavement programs which provide grief support, art therapy,
support groups and counseling
for children.
Victoria Emmons, vice president,
development & communications,
joined other non-profit grant
recipients on February 10 to accept
the Sharks Foundation grant funding
in a special on-ice ceremony
complete with the team mascot
S.J. Sharkie, recently named
“Most Awesome Mascot” by the
Cartoon Network’s Hall of Game.
Education
Hospice of the Valley families
were also guests of the Sharks,
some attending a hockey game in
February and others the U.S. Olympics
Gymnastics trials in June at the
HP Pavilion. Families enjoyed the
games from the personal suite of
Sharks forward Martin Havlat (#9).
■
Continued from page 5
Both the lecture and conference
events were headlined by renowned
palliative care physician Ira Byock, MD
from Dartmouth-Hitchcock
Medical Center, who discussed
the issues raised in his latest book,
The Best Care Possible — A Physician’s
Quest to Transform Care Through
the End of Life. The lecture was
recorded for re-broadcast by the
Commonwealth Club Silicon Valley
and may be heard online at
hospicevalley.org/professionalcia.
Dr. Byock was joined at the
Friday conference by a faculty
of national experts in end-of-life
care including Dale Larson, PhD,
Department of Counseling
Psychology, Santa Clara University,
Janice Nadeau, PhD, Minnesota
Human Development Consultants,
and Deborah Grassman, NP,
CHAPTERS
VP Development & Communications Victoria Emmons, right of Sharkie, on the ice during
a break in the Sharks vs Chicago Blackhawks game on February 10.
Bay Pines Veterans Administration
Medical Center. The topics covered
included family dynamics, care for
veterans, and avoiding burn-out.
At the conclusion of the day one
attendee stated, “I feel renewed,
excited, and proud to be involved
in this great work!”
The Hospice Foundation of America
invited Neal E. Slatkin, MD, DABPM,
vice president of medical services/
chief medical officer at Hospice of
the Valley to serve on their national
panel of experts for their End-of-Life
Ethics educational program. The
program was video-recorded in
Washington, D.C. and distributed
nationwide and shown by local
organizations. Hospice of the
Valley had the honor of featuring
Dr. Slatkin on its panel of experts
for its local program held on
| Hospice of the Valley | Fall | 6
April 19, 2012 along with Kathleen
Fahey, RN, CNS, El Camino Hospital,
Frederick J. Parrella, PhD, Santa Clara
University, Margaret McLean, PhD,
Santa Clara University, and
Sally Adelus, president & chief
executive officer, Hospice of the
Valley. The program was held at
the Wyndham Hotel in San Jose
for over 100 attendees.
“Hospice of the Valley has a wealth
of expertise in end-of-life care. Our
team of physicians, nurses, social
workers, and counselors are experts
in their fields. Since our founding,
we have been committed to
sharing that knowledge to improve
the lives of patients and families in
our community. Compassion in
Action and the Hospice Foundation
of America program are just two
shining examples of our ongoing
commitment,” said Sally Adelus. ■
“The Lobby Lady” Offers
Compassion and a Smile
Hospice of the Valley
Mission Statement
We affirm dignity and hope
By Victoria Emmons
year brought an acceptance that
“this is the way it’s going to be.”
by providing comfort through
“Sometimes people cry on the
phone. I just listen. Sometimes the
word hospice throws people off.
You understand when you’ve
walked in their shoes.”
hospice and grief care.
We strengthen our community
through advocacy, education,
research, and volunteerism.
“People ask me what I do. I just say,
‘I’m the Lobby Lady,’” Mia says with
a smile as she adjusts the glasses
perched atop her head.
Managing the reception desk
at Hospice of the Valley since 2008,
Mia knows that the first visit to
Hospice of the Valley and the
Community Grief & Counseling
Center can be the toughest. In
1988, Mia lost her only child Dave
at 18 years of age to a rare virus.
“I remember dealing with grief,” she
recalls. “Grocery stores were always
hard as Dave had certain lists of
things he liked.”
Mia slips effortlessly between
calming a nervous elderly woman
on the phone to greeting a young
mother with an 8-year-old in tow
as they tentatively approach the
lobby desk.
“I like making people feel
comfortable,” says Mia. “I like
helping people.
Grief can make it difficult to focus
on dates or times. People may
feel scared, teary or unhappy. I’m
cognizant of what sets people off.
I couldn’t stand the smell of flowers
for two years after my son died.”
Mia’s own life experiences have
elevated her sense of compassion
and empathy for others facing loss.
She recalls the first year after her
son’s death as the worst, the second
year got a little easier and the third
compassionate palliative,
Photo Credit: Chelsea Byom
The front door to Hospice of the
Valley is unlocked promptly at
8:45 am. By then, Mia Cater has
already turned on the lights, made
two pots of coffee and tidied up
the lobby waiting area. Mia is very
particular about the condition of
the lobby and very gentle with
those who wait in it.
for those facing serious illness
Recognizing what stage of grief
a client may be experiencing is a
critical skill. Sometimes clients begin
to well up while completing the initial
written form on the clipboard, says
Mia. Questions can elicit all kinds of
feelings. She knows to look for signs
of those who may need a private
room right away and those who are
comfortable with their weekly visits,
even arriving early to stand at her
desk and share stories about their
dogs, kids or jobs with her.
Mia understands her local clientele
well. She grew up in the Bay Area,
graduating from Los Gatos High
School and attending West Valley
College. Her first job was at Syntex
Corporation as a receptionist. Her
natural abilities for stellar customer
service and multi-tasking quickly
attracted the attention of her
superiors, and she was soon
teaching others. Those years of
work experience and her personal
loss made her well-suited for the
welcoming role at Hospice of the
Valley as front desk office manager.
“I am here to make it better for our
clients,” says The Lobby Lady. ■
CHAPTERS
Board of Directors
Chairman
Héctor Sánchez-Flores
Chairman-Elect
Carolyn DeLeon, DM
Corporate Secretary
Katherine Tallman Schuda
Art Adams
Zoe Alameda
George Block, MD
Valerie Burniece
Linda Golino, RN, BA
Roberta Hayashi
Sylvia Katzman
Harris Meyers
Sutton Roley
Amari Romero-Thomas
Terry Rutledge
Rajeev Singh
Jeff Strawn
Euan Thomson, PhD
Chris Worrall
Ex Officio
President & CEO
Sally Adelus
VP Finance/CFO
Jim Ptak
Executive Team
VP Medical Services/CMO
Neal Slatkin, MD
VP Patient Services
Vince Evans
Chapters Managing Editor:
Chelsea Byom
Copy Editors: Carlene Schmidt,
Jeanne Wun, Amy Yarberry
| Hospice of the Valley | Fall | 7
Hospice of the Valley
4850 Union Avenue
San Jose, California 95124
1.408.559.5600 | hospicevalley.org
NONPROFIT ORG
US POSTAGE
PAID
SAN JOSE CA
PERMIT NO. 5031
©2012 Hospice of the Valley. All rights reserved.
501(c)(3) non-profit corporation. Tax ID 94-2803411.
“Life is Not a Rehearsal”
I’m getting along fine. As I need
them, they offer more services.”
Continued from page 1
With the help of Hospice of the
Valley’s team of doctors, nurses,
social workers, counselors, hospice
aides and volunteers, Anna‘s
independence is not compromised,
but rather respected and embraced.
secretary for many years. Her love of
writing was grounded in her editor
jobs “on the side.” She spent 23 years
in human resources at Frito Lay where
she hired plant and office personnel.
She married and had two sons—Ron,
61, and Steve, 64. She is especially
proud of her granddaughter Emily, an
anthropology major at San Jose State
University. Anna says she retired from
her corporate job at age 64, but that
didn’t mean she slowed down.
“In my middle 50s, I took classical
Russian ballet,” she says. “In my 70s,
I learned how to swim. I had grown
up on an island and yet never
learned to swim. I took public
speaking. Nobody ever told me
I couldn’t learn. You have to keep
your mind active. I enjoy learning.
I like doing things my own way.”
That eagerness to try new things
kept Anna active for many years, she
admits, and ultimately what helped
propel her to publish her memoir.
CHAPTERS
“I tell my kids I’m an old car,” she says.
“I’m a really old, old car and the
parts are starting to wear out. I’ve
always done all my own cooking
and cleaning, but now a hospice
volunteer helps me shop. Everyone
has been wonderful. I can’t say
enough about Hospice of the Valley.
I enjoy my time with them. They’re
happy people. Even Leiter’s
Pharmacy, those guys that deliver to
me, they are so nice. With their help,
| Hospice of the Valley | Fall | 8
“I said to my nurse Cindy the other
day that, for 85 years, I have always
told people that life is not a rehearsal.
You have to live it while you’re here.
I see so many people who are
continually in and out of the hospital
or go to a nursing home and they
are so unhappy. I just wanted to do
my own thing and be by myself and
make the most of my days left. And
when I go, I want to be home.” ■
Editor’s Note: Anna Thumann died
at home in summer 2012. Her memoir
Alcatraz Schoolgirl is available at
the museum on Alcatraz Island,
Amazon.com and other bookstores.
A portion of the proceeds supports
the Alcatraz Island Family alumni
organization. We are grateful that
Anna shared her marvelous story.