union - Felix Online

18 January 2002
Issue 1224
p
T h e Student N e w s p a p e r for Imperial C o l l e g e
We like this helicopter,
Black Hawk
Down
reviewed (Page 23)
Tony Hawks Pro
Skater 3 Soundtrack.
Yum. (Page 14)
Summer Ball Axed
are complex, however, a n d mostly involve
many personal favours b e i n g called i n b y
members of the D r a m a Society, DramSoc,
w h o acted as technicians for the event.
M a n y of DramSoc have external friends
w i t h equipment that w a s b o r r o w e d for
the event, b u t it is impossible to repeat
that a g a i n this year, a n d as s u c h £25,000
is required i n order to p u t o n the event,
whatever the venue.
Council, the sovereign body of the Union,
d e c i d e d last T u e s d a y that this year's
summer b a l l should be cancelled.
This decision w a s suggested b y a
'working group' headed b y Union
President, Mr. S e n G a n e s h , w h i c h also
consisted of a n u m b e r of others formerly
involved w i t h the Summer Ball, w h o have
had prior experience w i t h the problems
associated w i t h this event.
The m a i n reasons c i t e d for the decision
were financial, a n d the meeting, w h i c h
occured last week, w a s finalised w i t h the
decision that if College were to announce
unconditional sponsorship for the U n i o n
to have the Ball, t h e n it w o u l d go ahead.
H o w e v e r the deadline for College to s h o w
their support w a s before the council h e l d
on Tuesday e v e n i n g (see page 2 for more
detail o n that event), a n d sadly it h a d not
b e e n forthcoming, therefore Mr. G a n e s h
w a s forced to suggest the cancellation of
the project.
In the past, the Summer Ball has acted
as a l e a v i n g party for the graduating year,
as w e l l as just b e i n g a general get togeth-
College h a d offered to underwrite the
venture, b u t only u s i n g money that the
U n i o n inists is o w e d to t h e m anyway,
w h i c h w o u l d therefore count as a huge
deficit i n t h e U n i o n budget, a n d h a s
therefore b e e n d e e m e d unacceptable.
H a p p y revellers at last year's B a l l
er for a l l students to have a good time.
Previously it has b e e n h e l d off-campus,
but last year it w a s h e l d o n the College
grounds themselves, a n d this proved a
success b o t h as far as student enjoyment
w a s concerned, as w e l l as financially.
The reasons for its feasability last year
an t!
a Wednesday m
olun
/••-
O n top of this, not one student has volunteered to organise this event, m e a n i n g
that everything w o u l d have to be done i n
the next four months. It h a s b e e n suggested that plans for next year's Ball
shoul d start b e i n g d r a w n u p now.
will
college news
Union Shake-Up?
A l l the discussion over the past
few months on the subject of
the n e w Union structure came
to a head last Tuesday.
There h a d been hopes that
the shakedown of the structure
would clear away some dead
wood from the system, but it
seems that the force of conservatism has won, w i t h very few
changes being made that w i l l
affect the average student.
past f e w months have seen
many theories put forward, but
the final options were laid out
by Union President Sen Ganesh
on Tuesday, during a five hour
C o u n c i l meeting that w a s
almost entirely on this subject.
Since these changes w i l l
modify the Union constitution, a
t w o thirds majority is required
over t w o separate sessions to
affect the changes, a n d each
session is meant to have a 'quoTo understand the changes
rate' number of Union officers
made requires a strong underpresent. The majority w a s easistanding of Union policy, howly reached, w i t h David Francis
ever the reasons for the change
(Deputy President of Education
are m u c h easier to explain.
Since t h e rector, Sir Richard and Welfare), the only person
Sykes, announced t h e n e w w h o voted against t h e n e w
changes being made. However,
move to a faculty system that
while there were more than the
College is undertaking at the
quorate amount of votes cast,
moment, it has been obvious
that the Union must change i n this w a s due to many votes
being proxied from non-present
some w a y so as to reflect this,
members, a n d therefore i f
in order to have any chance of
someone h a d cared to say 'quorepresenting the students w i t h rum', the meeting w o u l d have
in the various departments. The
The Union Advice Centre
The Union offers a free, confidential and impartial
professional advice service for students and staff on
legal, academic, financial, housing, immigration, and
benefits questions through the full-time Advisor based
in the Union Advice Centre.
Further information is also available on other
questions concerning health, drugs, alcohol, tax and
student rights from a wide range of leaflets in the
Advice Centre reception.
Drop by the East Wing of the Union
j |
• j
Building in Beit Quad, or phone
• »coMeae
directly for an appointment on:
* union
m
(020) 7594 8067.
m
n
p
r
n
advice centre
to have been declared invalid.
This practice, however, is usually considered a waste of time,
due to the l o w turnout that
C o u n c i l generally h a s . It i s
interesting, therefore, to note
that the n e w changes w i l l a d d
around an extra 40 members to
Council, most of w h o m w i l l be
Departmental representatives.
However, since the Union is a
part of College, all changes w i l l
have to go through t h e
College's o w n governing bodies, and it has been noted that
many of the members of these
bodies w i l l not like the idea of
an eighty strong Union Council,
seeing as the College Council
only has 20 members. If the
changes that are being made
b y this 'sovereign' student
body, therefore, are not liked b y
College, they c a n return the
suggested amendments to the
Union, stating any of their o w n
changes that they feel should
be considered. While they c a n
not actually state what should
be i n the Union Constitution,
they can make very strong suggestions, a n d i n the mean time
make life quite uncomfortable
for the Union, both financially
a n d politically. W h i l e this
reporter is certainly not sugg e s t i n g that these tactics
w o u l d b e undertaken, it is
notable that if this were to
occur t h e n a n y external
observers may see this as a n
infringement of student rights,
and public knowledge of anything along these lines occurring could be heavily detriment al to b o t h t h e image of
Imperial College as a whole, as
w e l l as the v i e w of the Union
that other political student
bodies may have. However, if
College feels the changes the
Union wants to make are foolish, they w i l l have no choice
but to step in, so it is a narrow
path that must be trodden.
O n a less global level, how-
4I s s u e
1 2 2 4
18th January 2002
Editor: w i l l D u g d a l e
Deputy Editor: A l i Wren
N e w s : Vacant
M u s i c : Dave E d w a r d s
Books: J o n M a t t h e w s
A r t s : J o n Brenner
F i l m : Darius N i k b i n
Sports: Vacant
C r o s s w o r d : Dr. H o t Fudge
W i t h T h a n k s To:
Joe, Helen, J , B o b b y C
Felix, Beit Q u a d , Prince
Consort Road, London,
S W 7 2BB
Tel: 020 7594 8072
E m a i l : [email protected]
Printed by: MCP Litho Limited
Felix is a registered
newspaper: ISSN 1040 - 0711
Copyright © Felix 2001
ever, t h e important changes
that have passed this first draft
of a n e w Constitution are mainly i n name. N o longer are there
Constituent College Unions
(CCUs), but are n o w Faculty
Student Associations (FSAs),
but these seem to have been
mapped from the o l d to the
new. In addition, there are n o w
three Dep Reps (Departmental
Representatives)
for each
department,
one
for
Undergraduates,
o n e for
taught post-graduates, a n d
one for Research students.
E a c h of these w i l l have a space
on Council, giving m u c h more
power to all F S A s (with about
20 extra members each), apart
from the M e d i c s , w h o have
gained less than 5 members.
Obviously there are more
changes, but this reporter only
just understands these ones
(and has probably made several errors), and this is only the
first draft of a long process.
Watch this space.
will
Friday
18thA
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T u e s d a y Wednesday T h u r s d a y
22nd
24th
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UNION
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Supported by
Prizes: £50 & beer£1 U n i o n / £ 1 . 50 Guests
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T u e s d a y Wednesday T h u r s d a y
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f r o m 5 p m (dBs only) Purchase advance tickets
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Open noon-11pm Saturdays and noon-10:30pm Sundays
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imperial
• college
world news
Russian Row
Bag Bombs
A scuffle b e t w e e n R u s s i a n
and A m e r i c a n diplomats - over
civil liberties, to boot - shows
that while the C o l d War is
over, the t w o former enemies
are still capable of behaving
pretty icily w h e n they feel like
it.
M a n y U.S. experts fear a n e w
round of domestic flight delays
w i l l begin today, as thousands
of business commuters and holidaymakers flock back to the
planes.
This Friday w a s named b y
Congress - w i t h President
Bush's support - as the date b y
w h i c h all airlines a n d airport
security checkpoints must meet
new, tougher, standards for preflight screening.
The n e w measures are aimed
at t h w a r t i n g and restricting the
activities of terrorists; a major
priority for the A m e r i c a n people
and their current (Republican)
administration.
They include mandatory b a g
X-rays, sniffer dogs to search
plane cabins a n d holds just
prior to take-off a n d h a r s h
penalties for carrying suspected terrorist items.
executives have criticised the
schedule as " u n w o r k a b l e , "
g r u m b l i n g that the l a w s,
p a s s e d just before Congress
recessed for Christmas, are "too
rushed to fully implement."
Security teams, they say, are
still understaffed. To check all
travelers could cause long
delays. Not to do so could be
fatal.
However, many senior airline
Joe
The dispute, w h i c h started
w i t h t w o junior delegates from
the
U.S.
Consulate
in
Vladivostock, rapidly spun out
of all proportion this week, as
the right-wing administrations
of the t w o countries e a c h
sought to blame the other.
A
demonstration
in
Vladivostock to free a n imprisoned Russian journalist, one
Grigory Pasko, set the stage.
He w a s convicted last year of
high
treason
for t e l l i n g
Japanese media about naval
nuclear w a s t e d u m p e d at sea.
Eyebrows were raised i n
M o s c o w , however, w h e n it
was
learned
the
two
Americans h a d attended the
demonstration - a n " u n w i s e
d e c i s i o n " , a c c o r d i n g to one
uncredited Kremlin source.
The U.S. State Department
insisted their behaviour w a s
not unusual, a n d "perfectly
normal diplomatic practice."
Presidents B u s h a n d Putin
are both said to be concerned.
Joe
HE UNION i f l R
Drop by the Union Bar
for a quiet drink.
Open Sunday evenings
6pm-10:30pm.
Mi
guitar
indie, alternative dance,
pop
a n d big b o u n c y beats
chili, fries and cocktails
erial
college
BARS
Imperial Colage Union
and
C0ll6Q6
l
Hear the Rector speak
about the College's
plans for the future and
now they affects you
12 noon, Frjda)p8th January
Great Hall^ Shfffield Building
lifestyle feature
All offers of employment
HOLLY BARNES
If there's one t h i n g that I've learned this
year, it's that being unemployed isn't all
it's cracked up to be. Believe me, few
things in this life are more depressing
than the queue to s i g n on of a Wednesday
morning - except perhaps the realisation
that it's the most exciting part of the
week. A t university there's always something you could be doing and, more t h a n
likely something you should be doing but there's simply bugger all to do if
you're u n e m p l o y e d . A n d , of course,
there's the fact that it's pretty hard to live
on £42 per week. Basically, it may be a
learning and g r o w i n g experience, but it's
certainly a lifestyle that I strongly recommend you avoid at all costs.
But I'm sure you k n o w all that already after all, it's fairly unlikely that any of you
are genuinely considering unemployment
as a lifestyle choice. The real question is,
what's the solution? H o w do you avoid the
dole queue and the exciting w o r l d of the
Job Seekers A l l o w a n c e ? Well, a good
degree, a w e a l t h of knowledge, bucketloads of experience and a real desire to do
whatever it is you w a n t to do w o u l d certainly be a good s t a r t i n g point. A n d
charm, good looks and a nice shiny suit
can't hurt, either. But the real sticking
point isn't w h a t you know, or even w h o
you k n o w - it's h o w you talk about it.
A c c o r d i n g to the latest research b y the
Association of Graduate Recruiters, 43% of
leading graduate recruiters "reported skill
shortages in three of the attributes ranked
most important b y employers - interpersonal skills, initiative/proactivity and oral
communication" (and before you get carried away thinking that the other key
skills they were looking for were technical
or scientific, you may as w e l l k n o w that
they were "for graduates to be good team
players, motivated and enthusiastic, flexible and adaptable"). These findings are
backed up by the results of an Industry In
Education study of the nation's largest
employers, w h i c h concludes that employers are "looking at personal skills more
than degree content" w h e n it comes to
hiring recent graduates.
So w h a t do w e conclude from all this?
Well, firstly, my Careers A d v i s o r wasn't
lying w h e n she started wittering on about
the importance of 'Personal Transferable
Skills'. Secondly, that a good degree does
not automatically entitle you to a good job.
A n d thirdly that it might, perhaps, be a
good idea to get some practice at this
communication, teamworking and leadership malarkey. A n d h o w do I do that, you
ask? (OK, so you don't, but play along
here). By getting involved in clubs and
societies, charity work or local volunteer
projects, I reply. Well, actually, I don't - the
employers do. You see, yet another report
(this time by TimeBank) indicates that
three-quarters of the UK's top employers
give preference to candidates w i t h volunteering experience on their CV, whilst over
half of the companies surveyed said that
"voluntary work experience can actually
be more valuable than experience gained
in p a i d employment". A n d , whilst most of
the figures I'm quoting here refer to 'traditional' graduate recruitment fields (banking, consultancy, engineering, management, IT etc), remember that they apply
just as strongly (if not far more so) to less
technical fields like media, law, the arts
and teaching. Oh, and apparently they're
pretty important for doctors too...
So, anyway, volunteering. It's a deceptively simple concept, w h i c h actually
encompasses a massive range of possibilities - and almost certainly includes some
of the work that you're already doing. A t
one extreme, it could mean making a huge
commitment to changing the world, savi n g lives or raising tens of thousands of
pounds for charity - but on the other h a n d
it can mean m u c h simpler things like gett i n g involved in running your favourite
society, working in your local school for a
couple of hours a week, or just helping out
w i t h the next Rag event. A n d , if you do
w a n t to do something " w o r t h y " (a tired
and cliched phrase I'll admit, but you get
the idea), there are lots of opportunities for
you to get involved on campus, w i t h the
Pimlico C o n n e c t i o n (teaching in local
schools - head to www.su.ic.ac.uk/pimlico to find out h o w to get involved) and the
Community A c t i o n Group (who deliver
food to the homeless, help out at local
homes for the elderly and repair tools for
C e n t r a l A f r i c a n farmers - check out
www.su.ic.ac.uk/cag to find out more) the
t w o most obvious examples.
A s i d e from these
clearcut
examples,
feature lifestyle
gratefully received...
however, volunteering also includes all
sorts of other activities. Responsible for
running publicity or arranging fixtures for
your society? Year Rep i n your department? Help out w i t h collections, work in
the U n i o n or get involved w i t h organising
events? That all counts. A n d so does cari n g for elderly relatives, looking after small
relatives or your friends' children, and a
million more things besides. To be honest,
it's almost certain that you're already
doing (or have done) some k i n d of voluntary work (and, indeed, part of the point of
this article is just to make you realise its
value) but it's also fairly unlikely that any
one activity could possibly have taught
y o u every one of those key skills.
Fortunately, t h o u g h , there are lots of
opportunities available on campus - head
over to the U n i o n to find out more, get in
contact w i t h a n e w society or just think
about g e t t i n g more i n v o l v e d i n w h a t
you're doing already.
Hopefully, however, you'll k n o w all that
already, too. Two schemes that you might
not k n o w about, however, are M i l l e n n i u m
Volunteers and Insight Plus. The first is a
major government initiative to increase
the number of y o u n g people volunteering
i n their local community. A n y o n e aged
between 16 and 24 can register online (at
w w w . m i l l e n n i u m volunteers. gov. uk)
to
"use w h a t you're i n to to help yourself and
others", and w h i l s t the scheme does
include plenty of opportunities to work at
your local shelter or home, there's also the
potential to get involved in anything from
sports coaching to the environment to
y o u t h groups to m u s i c to journalism.
Moreover, the scheme is b a c k e d by a host
of b i g employers, there's support and
mentoring every step of the way, and
you'll receive a recognised a w a r d after
contributing 100 hours.
Insight Plus (www.insightplus.co.uk)
approaches the problem from a slightly
different direction. L i k e I said before, lots
of us already do a lot of voluntary work, so
instead of encouraging you to get involved
w i t h n e w projects, it's designed to help
you to make the most of your current commitments. Basically, you look at what
you're d o i n g (be it voluntary work,
involvement in a society, a part-time job or
family commitments) and analyse what
skills you've gained as a result - thus turn-
ing you into a m u c h hotter prospect at
interview. The scheme also includes a
series of tutorials and workshops, plus the
promise of official accreditation on completion of the course. Sadly, however,
Insight Plus is currently only available to
students at p a r t i c i p a t i n g u n i v e r s i t i e s ,
w h i c h (at present) doesn't
include
Imperial. Sorry.
Anyway, if all this isn't enough for you,
the final option is to head to your local
Volunteer B u r e a u - for example, the
Kensington & Chelsea Volunteer Bureau
(check out www.voluntarywork.org.uk);
the H a m m e r s m i t h & F u l h a m Volunteer
Development A g e n c y (www.hfvda.co.uk)
or W a n d s w o r t h C ouncil Volunteer Bureau
(check out www.wvb.co.uk ) - w h o should
have lots of information on local schemes
and volunteering i n general. For a complete list of centres, check out the National
Volunteer Bureau's central w e b s i t e (at
www.navb.org.uk),
w h e r e y o u ' l l find
details of pretty m u c h every voluntary
group i n the country - so wherever you
live i n London, there should be a support
group for you.
The only negative thing to say about
these initiatives is to contrast w h a t
Imperial's doing w i t h the investment and
involvement w i t h that made by other universities and student unions. The current
Insight Plus roll-out is unlikely to include
Imperial (although that may have something to do w i t h the fact that the NUS w a s
a founding partner i n the scheme), whilst
the Union has not chosen to get involved
i n M i l l e n n i u m Volunteers (unlike several
other student unions - such as Leicester,
Birmingham and Brunei - who both back
the scheme and provide their o w n volunteering opportunities). Fortunately, the situation is likely to improve in the near
future, as the College, the government
and the funding councils all seem to have
recognised the importance of volunteering
and student development in the modern
job market, and are thus making a major
investment (including dedicated staff) in
this field over the next few years. In the
meantime, however, there are still plenty
of opportunities all around you (we are in
the centre of London, after all), so stop
making excuses, get off your backside and
do something w i t h your life.
So, yeah, that's about it. Volunteering is
good, b a s i c a l l y G o o d for lots of reasons and, quite frankly, I'd like to think that
enhancing your employability is the least
of them. It's (mostly) fun. It's a diversion
from lectures, lab and revision. It makes
you feel better about yourself. A n d , b y and
large, it makes the w o r l d a better place.
But you k n o w all that - it's just that, faced
w i t h a hundred other things that you
shoul d be doing, " d o i n g some g o o d "
tends to fall to the bottom of the pile.
W h i c h is perfectly understandable. But
hopefully, all you need is that one extra
reason that'll get you to make that first
step towards getting involved - and I honestly hope that the prospect of joining me
in the queue at the Job Centre every other
Wednesday is it.
Holly Barnes is currently unemployed.
All offers of employment, freelance work,
a regular income, unbridled
gratitude,
free love or one way tickets to Acapulco
should be addressed to [email protected].
union talk
Nightline
Night-line is a confidential l i s t e n i n g a n d
information service provided by student
volunteers for students from all across
London. Nightline, as it is n o w i n L o n d o n ,
can find its roots here at Imperial where
it w a s set u p in 1971 following the suicide of a student the previous year. Over
time it expanded from Imperial to m a n y
parts of L o n d o n a n d is currently associated w i t h about '50 different institutions
i n c l u d i n g I m p e r i a l . T h e r e are e v e n
Nightlines in America, Canada and
Germany.
It is essential for those students i n difficulty, w i t h emotional problems or worries to have someone they c a n talk to. To
ensure that someone is always available
for students to talk to, N i g h t l i n e operates
every night d u r i n g t e r m time from 6pm to
8am. Thus w h e n offices are s h u t t i n g
d o w n and it is the n o r m a l time for counsellors and advisors to go home there is
someone there for y o u to talk to. T h u s it
doesn't act to replace others you c a n go
and talk to (such as your friends, Warden,
Personal Tutor, College Counsellors etc,)
but aims to provide a service w h e n they
are unavailable or if you w a n t to talk to
someone outside of where you study or
live.
Nightline isn't a counselling service. It
provides those that ring w i t h someone to
hear their worries and problems. What
they do is listen, and then provide you
w i t h any information you may need. They
can supply you w i t h information on agencies and organisations, w h i c h you c a n
then contact in you o w n time, or phone
lines, w h i c h c a n provide advice. The
phone number is 020 7631 0101.
They also have a w e b s i t e from where
you can find out more about Nightline
and h o w to volunteer if you w i s h to get
involved. A l s o if you w i s h to talk to t h e m
by "email listening" you can find out more
details on the website. E m a i l listening is
a n e w service offered by Nightline and
allows you to email them w i t h you worries or reguests for information. The w e b site address is www.nightline.org.uk
If you think you w a n t to talk to someone, regardless of the p r o b l e m , the
Nightline w e b s i t e is a very good place to
start. It contains the links to many of the
nations most frequently u s e d welfare
related w e b s i t e s , r a n g i n g from those
concerning Finances, through to Travel,
Crime & Safety as w e l l as the more "obvious" ones on sexuality, sexual health, and
the law.
It should also be noted here the benefits that could be obtained b y hel ping to
run a service s u c h as this. To volunteer, i n
a manner s u c h as this, i n a truly unselfish
w a y c a n b r i n g personal rewards that w i l l
stay w i t h y o u forever. H e l p i n g on a
phoneline like this one is an excellent
w a y to give something back to the community, w h i l s t m a k i n g friends. It's not
about C V points, or job applications, or
first/second/third interviews or theses or
money; it's about d o i n g something good.
Simple as that. If you think you'd like to
help, just call the number or visit the
website. I promise y o u you won't regret
it.
Deputy President (Education
David
& Welfare)
Students there for students. Confidential listening, support and information 6pm to Sam every night of term
night line
-'S)^ 020
r
7631 0101
www.nlghtllne.org.uk
Summer opportunities in
Investment Banking
UBS aims to be the most successful integrated investment services group in the world. Our organisation
encompasses Investment Banking, Private Banking and Asset Management all operating on a global scale.
UBS Warburg is offering summer internship positions across
international locations in the following areas: Corporate Finance,
Equities, Credit Fixed Income, Interest Rates and Foreign Exchange,
Information Technology, Operations and Human Resources.
To find out more about trading at UBS, please join us at the
event below.
Event
W o m e n s Trading Game & Presentation
Date
28 January
Venue
UBS Warburg, 1 Finsbury Avenue, EC2
Time
4.30pm
The reception will give you the opportunity to talk one on one
to female traders from Equities, Credit Fixed Income and Interest
Rates and Foreign Exchange.
To attend this event please sign up via the events calendar on
our website: www.ubswarburg.com. Please note that places
are limited.
To learn more about the unlimited summer opportunities at UBS,
please visit the graduate careers section on our websites:
www.ubswarburg.com
www.ubs.com/graduates
The closing date for summer internship applications is 15 February 2002.
Aimed at penultimate year and first year undergraduates, this
event is designed to give an overview of Investment Banking with
an emphasis on Trading. The event will be followed by a trading
game, which will give you an insight into the pace of the trading
environment. The game, hosted by traders, will educate you on
some of the products we work with.
UBS will only achieve its global business objectives if we respect and promote
differences in background, perspectives and expertise. This in turn will promote
creativity and innovation, and create business opportunities. Building diversity at
work is critical to the success of the business.
UBS
Financial Services Group
, U B S Warburg
,UBS
Private Banking
j®UBS
Asset. Management
i
Morgan Stanley invites you
Investment Banking Opportunities in Asia
We invite interested undergraduate students (class of 2003) to apply for
2002 Summer Analyst Positions.
Deadline for resume submission: February 1, 2002.
Applications will only be accepted online.
For more information on this opportunity and to apply online, please visit our website:
www.morganstanley.com/careers.
If you have any questions, please contact Morgan Stanley IBD Asia Recruiting Team:
[email protected].
Apply online at morganstanley.com/careers
Morgan
Experience
of the mos
world...and
Join Us.
be part of o n e
•messes in the
When
Eligibilty
To Appy
l
felix talk
Rag Ramble
With just four weeks to go until the start of
Rag Week 2002, the final elements of this
year's line-up are n o w falling into place check
out
the
Rag
website
at
www.su.ic.ac.uk/rag for more details.
This week, however, rather than telling
you what we're doing, it's time to find out
where all the money's going, and what it's
going to buy. This year's nominated charity
is the Shooting Star Trust, a charity set up in
1995 to help children in our area who are not
expected to live beyond early adulthood.
They're currently trying to pull together the
funding to build and kit out the first specialist children's hospice serving West
London. Rather than focusing on one particular disease or illness, they want to provide
help to local children w i t h all sorts of lifethreatening conditions - everything from
cancer to muscular dystrophy to cystic
fibrosis to cerebral palsy. The n e w hospice
w i l l give them somewhere to live safely and
comfortably, away from the sterile, depressing environment of hospital. Obviously, this
kind of care is particularly important to chil-
dren who have no chance of recovery and
no medical treatment left to try, but it's also
incredibly valuable to their parents, who
w o u l d otherwise be left to tend for them
and the rest of the family alone.
So for the charity have bought a site in
Hounslow, and are bringing together the
last of the funding to put up some walls
(and perhaps the odd ceiling) this summer.
However, they still need more money to kit
out the hospice - and that's where we come
in. They need everything from beds to
kitchens to PCs w i t h special controls, and
we're looking to provide enough funding to
make real progress. Indeed one of the best
things about working w i t h the Shooting
Star A p p e a l is that our efforts can make a
really big difference - potentially helping to
make the project a reality by the end of the
year. So, in true Blue Peter stylee, we've
made up a wish-list of the kind of things
that w e want to buy...
• For £1000, w e can provide
equipped music room.
a fully-
• £2000 w o u l d fund an electric bed for a
childs room.
• For £5000, w e can supply a children's play
area (complete w i t h paddling pool).
• Next, £7000 w i l l fit out an entire child's
room, including a state-of-the-art bed.
• £10 000 w i l l provide a complete multimedia room.
• For £15 000, w e can fit out a video and
book library and a family lounge.
• £20 000 provides four bedrooms to house
families visiting sick children.
• Finally, £25 000 w i l l fund and run a new
minibus, complete w i t h wheelchair lift
So that's what Rag Week is for, and that's
w h y w e want you to come along to events,
get out on the streets and raise money for
the Shooting Star Appeal. The most cunning part of the equation is that it'll happen
while you're out doing mad stuff, maybe
getting drunk and definitely having a laff
w i t h your mates. Nice, huh?
See you in Rag Week!
helen & dave
IC Radio
IC R a d i o goes d r i n k i n g !
quite well, and from such humble beginnings, we've grown to be London's premier student station.
For those that m i s s e d the fun and frolics
yesterday, IC Radio h a d a huge relaunch
party, involving drinking, silliness and all
those things we're good at. It w a s a
chance to meet some of the ex-members
from yesteryear and find out w h a t things
were like i n days of old. Or at least, that's
how I imagine it w i l l have been, but due to
print deadlines, I'm actually w r i t i n g this
Monday night and none of it's occurred
yet. But be assured w e ' l l let you kno w the
full story next week, w h e n w e ' l l have a
special full page feature all about IC
Radio, some of the history, and photos of
the n e w studios, and the carnage at the
relaunch party. So if you were there, be
afraid, you may have b e e n caught...
it w i l l be yet, but w e ' l l advertise the date
and time here and w i t h posters around
college. For the uninitiated, the basic
premise is that some of our D Js give some
tips and tricks for those w h o ' d like to be
the next Judge Jules, and then give oneon-one tuition to people in turn. It's a
great w a y to get started if you've always
w a n t e d to have a go, but have never had
the opportunity to, so w a t c h this space for
more details.
Happy Birthday
A little k n o w n fact, but IC Radio reached
the grand old age of 27 this M o n d a y
(14th). Back t h e n w e were operating off a
reel to reel tape deck and a microphone, in
a room in Linstead, so w e ' v e moved on
The Breakfast s h o w
A s some of you may know, this academic
year we've started producing breakfast
shows every weekday morning from 8 till
10am. The idea is to you tune your alarm
clock to 999am (in Southside a n d
Linstead) or s w i t c h on your P C w h e n you
w a k e up, and w e ' l l ease you into the day
and make sure you're up and about in time
for your lectures.
L e a r n to m i x
That's right, the famous IC Radio mix masterclass is back. We've not finalised w h e n
Requests
Of course, as your radio station, we're
more than happy to play your requests.
Let us kno w what you w a n t to hear and
any dedication you w a n t to make, on
phone extensions 58085 and 58100, or email [email protected].
Listen!
A s ever, we're broadcasting quality radio
programmes 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week. You c a n l i s t e n on 9 9 9 A M in
Southside and Linstead halls, and on the
internet at w w w . i c r a d i o . c o m anywhere.
i c r a d i o
www.icradio.com
i i
II
Theatre &
Galleries
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This
Week
week this
Monday
Tuesday
FIE Party
No idea w h a t this is. Noone tells me anything.
You're
probably
not
allowed to just turn up,
but if this means something to you, it's on now.
dBs, 5:00pm
Trivia
The
capital
of
Azerbaijahn?
Who
k n o w s ? These people
do. H o w clever do they
need to be? Very, apparently. More t h a n me.
DaVinci's,
evening-ish
Wednesday Thursday
C he e sy Wotsits
Drinky drinky drinky
drinky drinky drinky
drinky drinky drinky
drinky drinky drinky
drinky drinky drinky
drinky drinky drink.
Drink, Union, 'till late
Sound Band Night
Experimental
bands
experiment w i t h experimental
instruments,
w h i l e p o s s i b l y experim e n t i n g w i t h experimental drugs.
dBs, 6:00pm
Friday
Supersonic
Don't know. A g a i n , I'm
meant to be doing publicity, but since I'm not in
the main office, I never
find out anything. Indie,
I hear. So Pulp then.
Union, 'till late
Chinese Society S h o w
Juggling Club
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C h r i s t i a n Students
y^lkMm&v:,.
In action, apparently, vo B e c a u s e it w o u l d be A w a y away, leave t o w n
Wypyx ^PSpy.rr.y'),
xyx: not really sure about this
.
: • • •
a:ut go awijv. Yny yay
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you like whatever it is in the air again, catch
I'm' -bs;::
away. Perhaps c l i mb a
they're doing, which I'm
XX
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people to chat to about and Silent Bob are on,
sure you will.
firey bit. Yay!
y X ':. X
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all sons.
Concert Hall, 6 00pm
The country all weekend
h^Wi?'r - ''p.y
yxyxxx
Union Top Floor. 6:00pm Concert Hall 5:00pm
•fix* i,-:t >::V.;
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Amelie
A h , ooh, oh, h o w sweet,
eee! yay! wow... gasp.
Very sweet film for girls,
I think. Or maybe boys
who are ' i n touch w i t h
their feminie side'. Take
your girlfriend, perhaps?
Spy Games
Brad Pitt. I'd have 'im, if
I were inclined, but I
suspect this is a w e a k
attempt at getting girls
to go to this obviously
boy-ish film. Take your
girlfriend?
Bandits
Billy Bob Thornton, who,
w i t h a name like that,
must,
allegedly,
be
inbred, and Bruce Willis,
who, w i t h a name like
that, must, allegedly, be
Australian. Girlfriends?
The Others
Rah rah rah. Pretty scary
stuff, where they are all
ghosts w h o think they
are alive. M a y b e . I see
dead people? Probably
not, but you could take
your girlfriend.
Fresh P r i n c e of B e l A i r
Red Dwarf
Mr Benn
\/xyyyyy;yyxyxyyX'-x :yvx,y
keeper
appeared
A n o t h e r one that you
x\:X',XX
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Simpsons
•• y.-.i.-.i'-.
Not realiy i n keeping:
w i t h the rest of the Stuff, s o m e t h i n g , beer,
shows i n this diary, but goo, monosodrum glutashe's gonna have to be mate, fish, hot pants,
the sexiest zombie you
xyixJ- .xipxyy.
Sky One. 8:00pm
S'y^'y •V u .i:^'";/; .!\ ;:s
about how my life got
xy^i'xx
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from here. Fun. fun, fun.
;:>•;;«<:.xxxxXy 'yyxyyxxj.
:
,:
:
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r
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Troubie. 4.00pm
C o m p a n y of Snakes
Former
members
of
Whitesnake and Rainb o w come together to
share tips on perms a n d
w a n k into their guitars
b i g stylee. Rock on, etc.
Mean Fiddler, 8pm, £12.50
Beta B a n d
M m m m , weird noises. Or,
as the Radio 1 G i g Guide
w o u l d prefer to describe
it, "quirky folk-hop w i t h
prog tendencies". Nope,
prefer my description.
Shepherds Bush, 7pm, £13
> * -" *!-':'! •
Pavarotti, for it is he.
makes a valiant attempt
to fill the Opera House
with what promises to be
T:w
VV
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Royai Opera. 7.30pm, £b
C r i m e i& P u n i s h m e n t i n xiiiyxxxxxxxy. •
Dalston
Wf^yxxXXXyx-X VYyXAXh-' C a t c h the, ahem, highK *; , x,yXyy'X. yy-y ,:yy/yj l i g h t s of B r i t i s h art
title alone, this minimal- xx>xx.;>. v-: •:: yy r'..-::,••:'•>••
bo.'orcj it, gi>f> consignor!
ist drama comes with a XXxX yyyXy Xy:\ yy,; ;\,::, X yfyyj..
to the TOf-yclc bin of fate.
pay what you can price :XX < '"XXX XxXy.
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tag every Tuesday night yxx'xyyy'yx' x.y y: )y'cif)':... off... M m m m , impxesshns?.
Areola Theatre. 8pm. £9 National Theatre. 6pm. £5
£3
!
:
;
s;
:
45s
L o u d rocking next b i g
things play a residency at
the Metro. Get in a pound
cheaper if you can track
d o w n a copy of their latest favourite single.
Metro Club, 8pm, £5
v
:
:
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}
:
:
Marlena Shaw
L i t t l e - k n o w n US jazz
vocalist S h a w shows off
her impeccable taste in
the c o m p a n y of saxophonist Denys Baptiste.
M m m m , jazz - nice.
J a z z Cafe, 8pm, £18
Best In S h o w
Pret a Porter w i t h dogs,
perhaps, so still got the
supermodels. Not that
I'm bitter or anything. I
could still have them,
you know. A n d your girlfriend, so there.
. X '.is, XyXXXXXX. , ... .
'•*!••>.. 'x'yyyxxijy
J i m m y Eat W o r l d
Despite being the purveyors of one of the silliest bad names I've heard
for many a year, Jimmy
Eat World are apparently
"good". So there.
Astoria, 7pm, £10
Tim
M&uxi
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Island p r i s o n (where
Nelson Mandela was
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music reviews
O U T THIS W E E K
Due out on M o n d a y 21 January:
SINGLES
A L K A L I N E TRIO - Private E y e
B L A C K R E B E L M ' C C L U B - Love Burns
S T E L L A B R O W N E - Never K n e w Love
ALBUMS
C H E C K E N G I N E - O n Top
Station 17
Hitparade
Various
Tony Hawk's...
Fugu
Fugu 1
Out now on Mute
Out now on Maverick
Out Monday 4 February
records
There is a fantastic, bizarre story be hi nd
this album. Station 17 originated i n a
Hamburg mental institute i n 1988. Social
worker Kay Bosen thought that a number
of his patients could benefit from b e i n g
allowed to express themselves musically,
however they liked. 13 years a n d four
albums later, the b a n d has prospered,
and I a m a satisfied listener.
Hitparade is their fifth album, and is a
collection of their most famous tunes
remixed b y some of G e r m a n y ' s better
dance DJs i n a variety of styles. A n d it is
odd. H a v i n g not heard the b a n d before,
my initial expectations were for something typically G e r m a n - perhaps industrial metal w o r t h y of a nuclear war, or
g a b b a techno w o r t h y of a t h o u s a n d
nosebleeds. But this is miles a w a y from
either - unusual, chilled techno electronica, w i t h more t h a n a few nods to hip-hop
and trip-hop.
For me, the glorious moment on this
album is the very understated Der Weg
Nach Nirgendwo. It's s l o w a n d brooding,
but pleasant too, like a ray of sunshine
falling on Tricky's dark m u s i c a l world.
The vocals on this track, as on most of
the others, are s u p p l i e d b y s i m p l e
speech - w e hear old men and y o u n g children smoothly rounding off the electronic
rhythms, and it matters little if you can't
understand the G e r m a n .
There are some unfortunately cheesy
moments too, w i t h a significant minority
of tracks sounding like sub-standard Daft
Punk grooves. But don't w o r r y too m u c h
about that - i n general, the tracks on
Hitparade
are usually fine a n d sometimes excellent.
Derek
records
[The full title is Music From And Inspired
By Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3].
So this is a first - a soundtrack album for
a computer game. Not surprising really,
since music is being used more and more
i n computer games now. I confess
though that w h e n I played Tony Hawk's
(the game, that is), I didn't really pay
m u c h attention to the music 'cause I w a s
too busy grinding.
Listening to this album, you c a n tell
that the songs are i n the game. It's got
the skateboardy nu-metal a n d hip-hop
feel. It's got a few w e l l k n o w n popular
artists too, like Sum 41 (pic above), A l i e n
A n t Farm, Outkast and Papa Roach.
This is guite a good compilation, w i t h
only one or t w o songs (out of 13 in total)
w h i c h weren't w o r t h another listen. One
track that stood out w a s the N O F X song
What's The Matter With Parents Today?,
w h i c h has a classic line: " M u m and Dad,
I think you oughta stop smoking so m u c h
pot".
The Sum 41 track is just like their previous songs, w i t h its upbeat theme, a n d
Outkast's Bombs Over Baghdad has a
cool beat.
The album also comes w i t h an interactive C D , w h i c h has some clips' of Tony
H a w k talking about his various battle
scars a n d some skateboarding stunts.
The menus w o u l d have looked a lot more
impressive played on something better
than a dying laptop.
So, to round up, this is not a b a d compilation if you like your nu-metal/hip-hop
thing, although I think only the biggest
Tony H a w k fan w o u l d contemplate buying it. Go on, prove me wrong.
Oscar
on Ici
d'ailleurs
From the cover - a '50s beach picnic
scene - and the song titles - Ondulations,
Angel Fair With Golden Hair - w e c a n
make a good guess as to w h a t this is
going to sound like. French orchestral
lounge music. Not that it sounds anyt h i n g like A i r - the p r o d u c t i o n a n d
arrangements give it more of a Beatles
feel, circa Abbey Road.
The tracks w i t h floaty female vocals
sound incredibly like similar efforts from
Stereolab, though m u c h less contrived.
O n the flip side, the tracks w i t h male
vocals s o u n d very m u c h like O l i v i a
Tremor Control. In fact, most of the album
sound s infuriatingly s i m i l a r to some
indeterminate one or another, almost as
if it were a compilation of tracks b y likem i n d e d '60s-inspired combos.
Of course, Fugu 1 flows along better
than any compilation w o u l d . The tracks
are so short (18 i n 45 minutes) that the
listener drifts along, barely aware of the
shifting tracks and the variety of instruments tickling and teasing the ears.
The album is loosely split into t w o
parts and, although the interlude is barely noticeable, the subsequent track Au
Depart indicates that s o m e t h i n g has
changed.
This is an exotic delicacy that can lead
to d i s a s t e r if i n c o r r e c t ly prepared.
Perhaps I should give y o u a sardonic
w a r n i n g of: "don't try this i n your bedroom". Fugu's efforts haven't l e d to a
cloying muzak disaster, because they're
not trying to be too clever. The end product is not quite a delicacy, but an aural
connoisseur w o u l d have little to complain about.
Robert
reviews music
INTERVIEW with King Adora
Before their recent g i g at the Electric Ballroom (see review, left),
Felix spoke to M a x i and N e l s ta from K i n g Adora.
F E L I X : C a n y o u please t e l l us w h a t K i n g A d o r a are a l l about?
LIVE: King Adora
@ Electric Ballroom
Teenage drama queens i n feather boas and glittery fairy w i n g s
crammed inside the Electric Ballroom (home of the highly recommended Full Tilt night) to see the much-revered all-singing,
all-dancing K i n g A d o r a . The impression I got w a s not of a b a n d
who were some k i n d of " g l a m revivalists" just because they
wear eyeliner a n d sing impolitely about sex, but of a pretty
w i c k e d pop band.
The sparkly butterflies were i n for a shock w h e n their pop
idols inflicted us w i t h not one but t w o relatively mediocre support bands. One could have been led to think that the Candies
and their fellow minion posse were strategically positioned to
make even a lacklustre K i n g A d o r a seem excellent i n comparision, but w a s this the case? Definitely not, for K i n g A d o r a b l e w
the Ballroom apart. This w a s one of M a x i Browne's "glory g i g s " !
From the moment they took to the stage w i t h a rousing rendition of live favourite Bionic, moshing w a s taken to stratospheric levels, w i t h people flung to the far corners of the room b y the
brute force w i t h w h i c h w e were musically moved. W i t h the
c r o w d w h i p p e d into a frenzy, the b a n d experimented w i t h some
material from their forthcoming album, the Suede-esque Tokyo
Honey. E v e n M a x i ' s facial expressions a n d poses w o u l d have
done Brett A n d e r s o n proud, for imitation is the finest form of
flattery. This track, w h i c h w a s n ' t extremely stunning for such a
talented bunch, w a s greeted w i t h so m u c h favour that it
seemed like the c r o w d w o u l d have lapped u p a performance of
the Yellow Pages.
M A X I : Our b a n d is about decadence, rock and roll, having fun,
decent tunes, live music, debauchery and glamour. Things a lot
of bands out there don't have.
So h o w w o u l d y o u describe y o u r m u s i c to t h e u n t r a i n e d ear?
M A X I : Sleaze-rock!
H o w d i d y o u g u y s get t o g e t her t h e n , a n d w h y " K i n g A d o r a ' " ?
M A X I : I w a s making music w h e n I s a w N e l s ta performing w i t h
another band, a n d I thought "right, I'm poaching h i m for my
band". Nelsta k n e w the other t w o , a n d so w e started jamming
together. A s for the b a n d name, w e were out s h o p p i n g one day
and w e s a w this huge six-foot vibrator i n a shop w i n d o w . It's
name w a s K i n g Adora, advertised for "maximum, heightened
sensation". A n d that's w h a t we're all about.
W h a t ' s y o u r favourite p a r t of b e i n g i n a b a n d ?
M A X I : There's lots of things I like doing. Touring, both playing
live and having fun on the tour bus.
E x p l a i n "fun" to me. I hear y o u r b a n d is n o t o r i o u s w i t h t h e
groupies...?
M A X I : Groupies?! L e t s just say we're young a n d w e like to
enjoy ourselves. We have a laugh on the bus, you know, playing
a show, partying, getting wrecked. It's quite like the stereotyped notion of the tourbus, i n films and all.
I u n d e r s t a n d that y o u took p a r t i n v a r i o u s prestigious tours.
W h i c h w a s y o u r favourite a n d w h y ?
M A X I : M y favourite w a s the M a n s u n tour. We're quite similar to
them, as w e dress up a n d like to have a good time. The crowd
found us easy to relate to; w e were poaching their fans.
N E L S T A : We learnt a lot from t h e m as people, about the business and touring - they've gone so far and done so w e l l .
W h a t w a s the h i g h p o i n t of b e i n g i n K i n g A d o r a for y o u ?
M A X I : Touring in J a p a n . We learnt lots about the culture i n the
six days w e were over there.
You have a n e w a l b u m c o m i n g out soon...
M A X I : Yes, we're going i n to record it next week.
N E L S T A : We've just finished doing a demo actually.
Is it a massive change of d i r e c t i o n for y o u ? H o w is it different
to Vibrate You, t h e last a l b u m ?
justice live as the b a n d s i m p ly churned t h e m out one b y one.
The set b e i n g short b u t sweet, I conclude that K i n g A d o r a
have the talent for w r i t i n g instantly likable and infinitely moshable songs, all of w h i c h sound just different enough from the
others to be interesting.
M A X I : It's a lot darker and heavier, less feel-good. We're technically more tight on it; it's the album we've always w a n t e d to
make but never had time. The last one w a s done i n such a rush.
N E L S T A : We've used different producers on it too.
If a f a n asked y o u for y o u r socks, w h a t w o u l d y o u do?
M A X I : I'd give them away.
C a n I h a v e y o u r socks then?
M A X I : Yeah, sure.
If t h e fans c o u l d give y o u a C h r i s t m a s gift, w h a t w o u l d it be?
M A X I : Just to keep supporting us and coming out to our gigs.
N E L S T A : Fags, booze, socks... but w h a t I'd really like is a
Hohner Professional L90 Goldtop guitar! So if anybody's got the
money, please give me one!
Sajini
Sajini
Highlights included the excellent L a w , the intense Smoulder,
the distinctive Suffocate a n d the Pixies-influenced Big Isn't
Beautiful. Suffice to say, these were the singles, a n d the pure
energy put into t h e m b y both the b a n d and the moshers made
them memorable. However, the "album-fillers" weren't done
clubbing reviews
Dekefex
@ Mass
Moorish Delta 7:
Interview
The t o u r i n g c l u b collective that is
Dekefex brought their awesome sounds
to one of the most d o w n places to be i n
Moorish Delta 7 are a three-piece hip-hop
outfit from Birmingham. The trio - Cipher
J E W E L S , 'The Captain'; Malik, 'The Street
Poet'; and, Jawar, 'The Bull' - g r e w up
together on grimy council estates. In
addition to putting out their o w n tunes,
they also have an agenda to promote
l o c a l u n d e r g r o u n d artists. The latter
includes their 7 Entertainment project
and the compilation 'Experiment T. I had
a chat w i t h them at M a s s , ...
Jawar, I read an interview where you
described Cipher as 'serious' yet 'chilled,
and said that there was a kind of
'yin/yang' thing about his character. Also,
you're the 'Life of the Party' but also the
'livewire'... There's a lot of duality here?
Malik: Exactly.
South London. A s ever Dekefex had put
together a night that took in guest artists
such as the established - but not establishment - alt hip-hop D J Vadim, a n d
b a n g i n g s o u n d s of B a d Company.
A l w a y s one to promote u p c o m i n g artists,
less w e l l - k n o w n but soon to be heard i n
good clubs everywhere, collectives s u c h
as M o o r i s h Delta 7 w e r e a w e l c o m e
inclusion in the night.
The residents, D J Skeletnx a n d D J N U ,
laid d o w n a scratchy stylee m i x of old
skool, n e w skool, a n d any skool. I have
not heard s u c h a flow of poetry for a
while. A n d , mercifully, emcees seem to
be getting a lot more intelligent (or the
true ones always were) t h a n in the dubious days of the b i r t h of jungle and 'intelligent' D n ' B . One favorite lyric (on a free
sampler C D given a w a y on the night)
w a s 'I'll strap a N o k i a to your head a n d
ring you till your b r a i n fries'. Nice.
The m a i n emceeing acts of the night
were M o o r i s h Delta 7 and P h i Life Cipher.
Both of these gave a m a z i n g performances. Beats ranging from funky to dark rap
cuts to pure and simple hip hop gave the
backdrop to tales of u r b a n strife a n d
everyday life.
Then it w a s d o w n to some serious beats
that demanded serious d a n c i n g from D J
Vadim (with Demolition Man), a n d the
occasional b-boy breakdancing m a k i n g
us a l l feel t e m p o r a r i l y i nadequat e .
Anyone w h o has heard D J V a d i m does
not need me to explain the maestro's
fusion of beats, breaks, a n d found
sounds. Never heard of D J Vadim? W h y
not? Get yo' ass on the dance floor boy!
Robert
Cipher: You get that i n the songs anyway, y o u c a n feel it i n the expression.
Take A r t of Survival' that's there i n the
feeling, it's experience. But again, some
of our sounds are more simple love of hiphop.
J a w a r : It's the voice of the people ...
That's something I wanted to ask you.
You grew up on council estates in
Birmingham...
On your website you talk
about 'Silent Screams' being the voice, but
whose voice? Is it yours? The people you
grew up with? Yours and their collective
experience?
J a w a r : It's the voice of the people. We
have no-one to answer to but the people
on the streets. We don't need to answer
to the record companies saying 'play like
this' or the media. The people on the
streets is the only people w e have to
answer to.
Malik: H o w w e represent, it's our generation. A l l of our past experiences are in it.
Like you said before, your music falls into
two broad categories: the urban tales,
and the hip-hop for the sake of hip-hop.
fd like to ask about the former. You
describe Art of Survival' as a futuristic
urban song. In what way do you mean
futuristic?
Is it prophetic?
Apocalyptic?
A vision? An inevitability?
Or is it a warning?
Malik: Every day people are getting hungrier and hungrier. It's just the w a y it is.
It's the feeling on the streets and i n the
cities.
Jawar: It's at the level of the streets,
those are the sounds i n every tune.
Malik: It's not a prediction, it's just that
that's h o w the vibes is going right now.
One final question: what's your favourite
sound, each of you? I don't mean like a
genre like 'soul' or whatever I mean a single sound like this [snaps fingers] or this
[drums on wall].
Cipher: A drum.
More specific?
Cipher: O h , I like a l l drums. A snare
drum.
Malik: Piano.
Jawar: A w o m a n .
Cipher: You know, there's a duality. We
argue, of course w e argue, but w e w i l l
always back each other up. This is three
in one. It's more than music. This is w h a t
keeps us going, it's w h a t w e depend on.
We give each other counsel and support.
E v e n if it's not music, whatever it is.
That's w h y it doesn't sound manufactured. If any one of us left, it wouldn't be
Moorish Delta 7. M D 7 is the three.
Malik: We've had so many tunes over the
years. A n d certain vibes happen. We
don't look to the next man.
Cipher: We do something different if it
feels right. That's w h y it's genuine.
Robert
reviews clubbing
17
New Year's Eve with Ministry Of Sound
@ The Millennium Dome
There are t w o sides to every story, or so
the cliche says, a n d M i n i s t r y of Sound's
N e w Year's Eve event at the M i l l e n n i u m
Dome is no exception. People's expectations for the event w e r e as extreme as
those for E p i s o d e I, a n d w h e n you b u i l d
something u p like that, all you c a n really expect to be... is d i s a p p o i n t e d .
I have heard people c o m p l a i n that
they spent a n hour i n the queue to get
in, a n d another hour to get bar tokens.
They b i t c h about the state of the toilets
after
midnight; they
moan
about
Brandon
Block
being
completely
mashed. For me, these were no problem:
I s a w this as a festival a n d anticipated
such things as eventualities. History has
s h o w n that the organisation of an event
of this m a g n i t u d e is guaranteed to be
less t h a n perfect. A n d sure, this wasn't
the best night of m y life, but it w a s a
great, messy w a y to see i n the N e w
Year.
I arrived at 7 p m ( w h e n there w a s no
queue), a n d w e n t straight i n to find
myself in the belly of a monster: five arenas, fifty D J s and only fourteen hours to
do it all i n . A s the Dome s l o w l y became
populated, there w a s an opportunity to
explore the site as the sounds of M o S
resident
Gareth
Cooke
gradually
w a r m e d up the c r o w d . E v e r y t h i n g about
the place - the fairground, the food
stalls, the s t u p i d hats, the hooters - said
that this w a s a summer dance festival i n
mid-winter. The only difference b e i n g
that there w a s to be no m u d , no sunstroke and definitely no rain.
For me, the party b e g a n w i t h Frenzic
i n the World Dance tent. W h e n this tent
opened its doors at 8 p m there w a s a deluge of people eager to get some of its
deep, high-energy v i b r a t i o n s . W i t h i n
half-an-hour this place w a s b o i l i n g over.
Back at the m a i n stage, Ferry Corsten
got the c r o w d on their feet w i t h a sizzling set of uplifting trance. By now, the
god-like sound system w a s thoroughly
s h a k i n g the foundations (I stood near to
the left speaker stack and boy, do my
ears k n o w it). Thousands of people of all
d e n o m i n a t i o n s w e r e u n i t e d by the
desire to party, and Ferry Corsten w a s
g i v i n g it to them.
L o o k i n g over the event from the balcony of the R u l i n arena, the whole t h i n g
w a s put into glorious perspective. The
r i p p l i n g audience of the m a i n stage, the
distant fairground, the lasers cutting
across the diameter of the dome. It w a s
awesome.
Dick Clark duties for the night were
taken b y Dave Pearce. For some, the
thought of a "Dangerous" Dave Pearce
set is as appealing as the Paul Daniels
M a g i c Show. Whilst there w a s a minor,
yet noticeable, tempo drop from Ferry
Corsten's set to Pearce's (some people
b e h i n d me actually sat d o w n and started rolling at this point), it w a s actually
comprised of some creditable records
bolted together i n a pleasing fashion.
A t 11.50pm a giant c o u n t d o w n began
i n the m a i n arena, a n d as the iron
tongue of midnight tolled twelve they
cracked open the visuals and a shitload
of spectacular pyrotechnics exploded in
and around the m a i n stage. But once w e
h a d hit the climax of midnight, I felt
spent and in desperate need of a tiger
nap. However, a belated A n n e Savage
set put a spell on the c r o w d like a
voodoo incantation, s u m m o n i n g us to
dance like zombies to her frenetic sound.
By the end of it I h a d u s e d up that very
last drop of serotonin. No amount of
energy drinks could save me now.
It w a s three in the morning and the
floor of the dome w a s a w a s h w i t h empty
plastic bottles and beer cans - w h i c h
made it a complete fucker to dance on.
A r o u n d about this time, Siamese t w i n s
A l e x P and B r a n d o n Block appeared. It
s e e m e d that legendary caner Brandon
Block h a d gone a little too far in his celebrations - his a w k w a r d m i x i n g stopped
me i n my tracks every time. This aside,
his shambolic D J i n g still entertained,
and his c a l l i n g card " O i ! O i ! " w a s not
left out. Thankfully, A l e x P stylishly fini s h e d off their set w i t h some tight,
t h u m p i n g house.
The pristine toilets of the M i l l e n n i u m
Dome h a d by n o w d e s c e n d e d into full
faecal chaos - inch-deep b r o w n water
greeted anyone u n l u c k y enough to need
any k i n d of number. This w a s w h e n I
realised that the festival experience w a s
finally complete.
W h e n Tiesto eventually arrived, I w a s
h o p i n g he w o u l d revive my flagging
spirits. L i k e his G o u r y e l l a co-producer,
Ferry Corsten, he specialises in uplifting
trance, and so I w a s h o p i n g a little bit of
that m i g h t be just w h a t the doctor
ordered. A l a s , he just didn't get my fire
burni ng .
The d a w n set w a s t a k e n by J u d g e
Jules, w h o t u r n e d i n a diamond-edged
performance, p l e a s i n g the c r o w d w i t h out feeling the need to go anthemic. But
I w a s a c h i n g for bed, and no D J in the
w o r l d w o u l d have got me to dance.
Sunrise: brilliant lemon-coloured light
cut through the glass of the east side of
the dome, g i l d i n g the interior, and dissolving the distant silhouettes of people.
That, and the clarifying m o r n i n g chill,
gave me a moment of lucidity, and for
the first time I felt like I w a s in 2002.
Patrick
arts reviews
A
H
f
*
•
•
The Thief of Tears
Etcetera Theatre, Camden
Rent
Prince of Wales Theatre
The Oxford A r m s Pub on C a m d e n H i g h Street is an ideal place
to get some shelter on a w i n t e r day after w a n d e r i n g through the
C a m d e n Market all the afternoon. The pub looks old and w o r n
out, but what's special w i t h the place is that upstairs it hides a
cosy connoisseurs' venue: the Etcetera Theatre.
The nation w a s consoled at A d a m Rickett's departure from
Coronation Street only b y the steamy launch of his scantily clad
pop career. So imagine the delight of his latest project, promising
a bubbly fusion both his soap acting talent w i t h his boybandesque dulcet tones. After torturing the rest of the country for the
past months, Rent is n o w back in London for a disappointing 8
weeks only (disappointing in its longevity, not brevity).
The current production is Jeffrey Hatcher's "The Thief of
Tears", a monologue from the trilogy "Three Viewings", aw arded
in 1993 w i t h the Rosenthal N e w Play Prize. Natalie Bromley
graduated last summer i n E n g l i s h at Cambridge, a n d she has
already s h o w n her skills as an actress at the E d i n b u r g h Festival.
Her first appearance on the L o n d o n theatre scenery sees her i n
the challenging double role of producer and actress.
The show lasts for half an hour and the stage is as static as a
stage can be: the only object on it is a bench that at some point
the character turns into a coffin, but through her convincing acting only. The thief of tears is a young A m e r i c a n woman, of
granny's funeral. She's a thief of tears because she hangs around
the funerals of u n k n o w n w e a l t h y people and as she kneels d o w n
on the coffin to moan she tries and steals jewelry from the dead
body. She's content w i t h her w a y of living until she tries to steal
the ring that she has dreamt about d u r i n g her childhood that her
past starts to pour out through the leaks of her conscience.
The d y n a m i s m of this play is terrific, y o u c a n say anything,
except that it is boring. The mood switches so many times
b e t w e e n comic, dramatic, a n d tragic tones. The skilled lightwork transforms the scenery accordingly but is on Natalie the
most of the burden. Hatcher has m a n a g e d to write a monologue
fit to challenge the actress and to strip bare her skills and shortages, but I must say that Natalie comes out very w e l l from this
trial, s h o w i n g a confidence w o r t h that of an experienced actor
and proving herself able to act i n both dramatic genders.
Concluding, the theatre is a bit far a w a y and a trip to C a m d e n
for a very short play could seem w a s t e d but if you happen to be
in the right place at the right time, t h e n it's value for money at
£5-9. For those w i t h t h e s p i a n ambitions instead it is a must:
take it as a technical challenge. C o u l d you do that?
Sergio
Ominous from the start, the show begins w i t h Rickett setting
the scene. Playing Mark, as an amateur arty-film-type, he
annoys most of the characters as he introduces them, poking his
cine-camera i n peoples' faces. This introduction, a n d most of
A d a m ' s performance is startlingly confusing. H i s Peewee
Herman-ised A m e r i c a n accent stutters a n d vomits its w a y
through the show, tearing into his songs. The set, around w h i c h
the characters bounce, is faultless. Graffiti scarred brickwork,
misted i n steam as it drifts from sewers provides a convincing
backdrop of a r u n d o w n N e w York side street. The said street
gives rise to the characters squat in w h i c h most of the characters live (legally thanks to the generosity of Benny, an evil-type).
The basic plot (and it is basic) follows A d a m a n d his b a n d of
squatters as they are faced w i t h eviction from the squat. But
there's a t w i s t < g a s p > . Benny's ultimatum is for the squatters
to help h i m stop a "homelessness demonstration" or face eviction. Confusing HIV/AIDS subplot emerges w h i c h seems to
affect all the characters, but w h i c h unsurprisingly the publicity
material makes no reference to.
The emotional tumult of friendships, romances, arguments
and deaths should engage you, even at a musical, but so
plucked from thin air, and so quickly do they surface and disappear, that it's hard to feel anything but pity for people as they
writhe around the stage i n pretend agony.
There have to be more entertaining w a y s of spendi n g three
hours (and £15), than seeing Rent. The pure energy from the
cast, a n d sterling si ngi ng performances from several, are not
enough to demystify poor acting, unemotional situations, and a
flat, confusing plot. D i d they lose it or d i d I?
Wayne
CREDIT
SUISSE
N O
T I M E
L I K E
T H E
N O
N O N S E N S E .
N O
T R E A D I N G
P R E S E N T .
N O
H O L D I N G
N O
FIRST
BOSTON
P A S S E N G E R S .
B A C K .
W A T E R .
www.csfb.com
Join us for an informal presentation at our European Headquarters,
One Cabot Square, Canary Wharf at 6pm on 4 February. Meet ex interns,
junior and senior professionals and find out more about the opportunities we
can offer for Summer 2002. Places will be allocated on a first come first
served basis, so to attend please email [email protected]
It might be a summer internship. It might last just eight to twelve weeks. But, for those prepared to work hard,
ask questions and show initiative, it's also a real job with real responsibility. We'll expect you to ask questions
when you join us. S o why not get into the swing of it by asking a few at our presentation. Find out about an
investment bank that's on its way to becoming the world's number one. Discover whether there's a role that's
right for you in our Investment Banking, Fixed Income or Equity divisions. For more information and to apply,
please click on www.csfb.com
CSFB I EMPOWERING CHANGE:
Issued by Credit Suisse First Boston (Europe) Limited:
regulated for investment business in the UK by The Securities and Futures Authority.
©2001 Credit Suisse First Boston Corp. All rights reserved.
joldman
TRAVEL
Dress Code:
Smart/International
(NOT FANCY DRESS!)
•
•mi
S
l
mm
Thursday 7
th
•
•
•
—
—
February 2002
Dinner - Cultural Show - After Show Party
V e n u e :
G r e a t
h a l l / M D H
O S C
M e m b e r s :
£10
N o n
M e m b e r s :
£12
Tickets
n v o i l o b l e
f r o m
U n i o n
• imperial
• • • college
union
reviews book
The Third Policeman
Flann O'Brien, £4.99
Pest Control
Bill Fitzhugh, £5.99
The Third Policeman is a truly unique novel w i t h obvious Irish
origins, a tale set i n a reality where the basic rules of our w o r l d
no longer apply. It surrounds an i n d i v i d u a l w h o is forced from
one strange situation to another, the fact that you w i l l never
know the name of the m a i n character is an indication of the
style of this novel.
One of the most humorous books p u b l i s h e d i n 2000 w a s Dave
Barry's B i g Trouble and w a s reviewed in Felix i n the autumn of
that year. A l t h o u g h nothing this year came close to the hilarity
of this story I d i d happen to read over Christmas a very amusing and well-written debut novel by Bill F i t z h u g h called Pest
Control. Bob Dillon (you can see where some of the jokes comes
from straight away) is an unhappy exterminator i n N e w York
City. Bob is trying to find a better w a y of dealing w i t h the city's
dirtiest and most unwelcome creatures. You see, Bob is an environmentally friendly b u g exterminator and decides to quit his
job in the hope that he can breed "super" bugs that w i l l kill your
common household pests without the need for pesticides and
poisonous sprays.
He is brought u p i n circumstances that are a little strange. A n
only child w h o s e parents both die w h e n he is very young, he is
sent to an expensive boarding school. M e a n t i m e somebody else
is left to look after the family farm, namely John Divney. A t
boarding school he starts to develop an interest in de Selby, an
eccentric physicist/ philosopher from the e n d of the nineteenth
century. By the time he leaves boarding school and returns to
the farm he intends to devote his time to cataloguing all of de
Selby's works and the w o r k of all his commentators. However,
once this is complete he needs money to p u b l i s h it. The farm is
not doing w e l l , however. A t J o h n Divney's suggestion the decision is eventually made to murder old Mathers w h o keeps his
money in a black metal c a s h box. J o h n Divney hides the box
until it is 'safe' to use the money but does not reveal the h i d i n g
place for three years, d u r i n g w h i c h time a rather strained relationship builds u p b e t w e e n them. Once the h i d i n g place is
revealed our protagonist goes to collect it. What follows is a tale
of his attempts to get hold of this box.
This tale moves from strange t o , bizarre to completely
obscene, an army of three l e g g e d m e n and bicycles w i t h personalities are just t w o examples from the w o r l d created by
O'Brien. The aura of surreal abnormality w i t h i n this novel makes
it a wonderful book to escape into and I w a r n you, you w i l l probably w a n t to read it twice. W h a t starts out as a murder becomes
a black comedy, eventually reaching a dark conclusion, do not
be fooled b y the appearance that this is a comedy of circumstance, there is a very grave moral underlying.
The T h i r d Policeman b y F l a n n O'Brien is p u b l i s h e d b y
Flamingo priced at £4.99.
Jennifer
Bob places his advertisement for his n e w extermination service in the local papers and the ad falls into the hands of a middle man for a world-wide assassination service w h o believes
that Bob and his title of "The A s s a s s i n " is a veiled reference to
his status as a hit-man. G e t t i ng an idea of the trouble i n store,
Bob begs off the lucrative job he's offered. But w h e n the victim
is accidentally killed anyway, the middleman, a s s u m i n g Bob's
managed the job w i t h unusual finesse, duly sends h i m his fee.
Every thing sounds status quo until the UPS package w i t h the
money gets held on the w a y to Bob; his wife and daughter,
impatient w i t h his approach to pest control, w a l k out on him;
and the brother and murderer of a Bolivian drug-lord w h o wants
to cover up his o w n crime informs the w o r l d that it w a s the
work of the Exterminator and offers a $10 million bounty to whoever kills Bob, attracting all the top exterminators in the field.
Pest Control is a very w e l l w r i t t e n and humourous novel. The
characters stand out as very real people and Bob is the your typical " m a n in w r o n g place at the w r o n g time." The t w o main
stars of this novel without a doubt are Bob's y o u n g daughter
and the bugs themselves w h o finally come to Bob's assistance
towards the end of this very light but highly entertaining read.
Pest Control is the first of four books by Bill F i t z h u g h and is
published by Arrow, priced £5.99.
Jonathan
film reviews
22
Lord Of The Rings:
Fellowship Of The Ring
Va Savoir
released 8th January
A s one of the most h y p e d a n d eagedy awaited releases of last
year, many of you may have already seen Lord Of The Rings. For
those w h o haven't, it is a truly excellent film. It may not live up
to its hype as the n e w Star Wars or the best move ever made,
but it's still definitely w o r t h seeing.
Life is story, story is life. The A r t s and their connection to the
lives of those involved i n t h e m is a particular fascination of
Jacques Rivette; and he is back w i t h it again i n his n e w comedy. In a previous film Rivette used Pericles as the central axis of
the narrative, and n o w for Va Savoir he has chosen Pirandello's
As You Desire Me, a piece about illusion a n d identity. The film's
six lead characters are all related in some w a y to a touring production of the play and the long sequences w e are s h o w n from
performances of it let us d r a w parallels b e t w e e n the actors'
lives and those of their onstage personas, w h i l s t at the same
time not a l l o w i n g us to forget that the film w e are w a t c h i n g is
itself fiction.
The film opens w i t h a brief r u n - d o w n of the story of the ring
that immediately d r a w s the viewer into Tolkien's fantasy w orl d.
The special effects i n this scene - and, indeed, though out the
film - are among the most realistic I have ever seen. Director
Peter J a c k s o n follows i n the epic footsteps of Ridley Scott (in the
likes of Blade Runner a n d Gladiator), creating a real yet alternative world, full of rich textural detail that aids the suspension of
disbelief. Moreover, the film as a whole is very atmospheric,
fuelled t h r o u g h o u t b y a dark, b r o o d i n g sense of dread.
Foreboding runs throughout, especially in the scenes w i t h the
ring wraiths.
After this opening, the pace slows as w e are s h o w n Hobiton
on the eve of Bilbo B a g g i n s ' birthday. A g a i n the special effects
are excellent, w i t h the three and a half foot hobbits played b y
digitally reduced actors. The film could quite easily have fallen
into farce and h i g h c a m p without the naturalistic, solid performances by Elijah Wood and the other hobbit actors.
One of the most memorable scenes of the film is the fight
between Gandalf a n d Saruman i n Orcthanc (the tower of
Isengrad). Christopher Lee and Ian M c K e l l e n are perfect for the
roles of w a r r i n g sorcerers a n d are truly realistic and frightening.
However, there is a glaring continuity error: Saruman takes
Gandalfs's staff from him, yet it turns up later (with no explanation as to h o w it w a s returned).
Another major flaw w i t h the film is the ending. Despite
W i t h audiences d w i n d l i n g , their production arrives in Paris,
and the female lead, Jeanne Balibar, immediately reacquaints
herself w i t h an old beau, in an effort to alleviate boredom. This
leaves her director, co-star lover, Sergio Castellitto, alone in his
attempts to find the long-lost G o l d o n i manuscript that he
believes w i l l save his flagging company. Fortuitously he comes
across a beautiful young graduate, Helene de Fougerolles,
whose family just happens to have the entire G o l d o n i back catalogue - but de Fougerolles' loutish half-brother stands in the
w a y of obtaining it and some careful manoeuvrings ensue.
The troupe's love-interest musical-chairs is a central to Va
Savoir, w i t h m u c h farce-like humour coming from all the various
partner s w a p p i n g . The art/life blurring is good to w a t c h , w i t h
coincidences and overplayed scenes a d d i n g to the feeling of
artifice, as exemplified by the huggy-kissy, onstage happy ending.
H a v i n g previously made the titanically long Out One (over 13
remaining true to the book, it's comes across flat, offering no
sense of completion or finality - and consequently the film
works far less w e l l as a movie i n its o w n right than Star Wars.
It is this ending that stops Lord Of The Rings being as outstanding as other films like Goodfellas and Die Hard and moves
it into the 'very good but not great' category.
hours, if you were wondering), Rivette manages to stretch out
this comedy to a lengthy t w o and a half hours, but this does
allow for a leisurely accumulation of humour and characterisation. The first act is a little slow, but after that w e are treated to
the fantastic, intellectual musings about love a n d art of the sort
that is only found in N e w Wave cinema. Quite simply, this is just
a lot of fun.
Alex Dunbar
Adam Joyce
reviews film
23
Felix O n F i l m Competition
W h e n a routine drug deal is not w h a t it seems. Clayton Pierce,
anti-terrortist agent, w o r k i n g undercover, finds out that the
deal is actually a nuclear bomb. In a w o r l d where the truth has
a price. A n d the price is the truth. Timelapse is a straight-tovideo B-movie w h i c h you have a chance to w i n . Just answer
this simple question:
Who directed this year's The Lord Of The Rings:
The Fellowship Of The Chicken Wing?
a) Peter J a c k s o n
b) Barrie Osborne
c) Colonel Sanders
A n s w e r s to: [email protected]
Blackhawk Down
released 18th January
17:37, 3rd October, 1993: American UH-60 Blackhawk
helicopters
drop 120 elite soldiers into downtown
Mogadishu
to kidnap
Somalian warlord Mohammed Farrah Aidid's top advisors and
military officials. The operation is scheduled for an hour.
09:11, 4th October, 1993: 18 Americans are dead and 73 wounded in the biggest single firefight involving American troops since
the Vietnam war. Somalian officials claim that one thousand
militia have been killed; independent observers place the estimate somewhere around five-hundred.
In 1993, Somalia w a s suffering from terrible famine, hundreds
of thousands h a d already d i e d and millions were facing starvation. The country's most powerful warlord, M o h a m m e d Farrah
A i d e d , w a s q u e l l i ng food distribution in an attempt to w i n
Somalia's long and bloody civil war. Faced w i t h a humanitarian
disaster on a b i b l i c a l scale, the U n i t e d Nations intervened, w i t h
food airlifts and peacekeeping forces.
In the meantime, the U.S. military set up operation Task Force
Ranger, to root out a n d remove A i d e d and his staff. The operation culminated w i t h intelligence pointing to a b u i l d i n g in central M o g a d i s h u , where A i d e d ' s top lieutenants were hiding. A
highly trained t e a m w a s assembled to ki dnap them. If everyt h i n g w e n t according to p l a n then the m i s s i o n w o u l d take one
hour and there w o u l d be no A m e r i c a n casualties.
Blackhawk Down tells the story of the k i d n a p p i n g and the
subsequent Battle of M o g a d i s h u in graphic detail. Rarely before
has the A m e r i c a n public been exposed to the bare physical reality of warfare. Ridley Scott's movie should put off any prospective army recruit. I mean, w h o w a n t s to have their legs b l o w n
off by a rocket propelled grenade? Not me. I w o u l d prefer to get
legless d o w n Southside.
Despite the breath-takingly realistic action sequences the
movie's centrepiece is a message about friendship, heroism,
and the true nature of war. But this is really a case of Hollywood
rewriting history. The truth is that the operation w a s characterised by incompetence on behalf of the A m e r i c a n leadership,
a complete failure of intelligence, and infighting.
Francis Ford Coppola once said that the artistic obligation of
any director making a w a r movie is to make an anti-war movie.
Ridley Scott's Blackhawk Down is not anti-war. It is an attempt
to hide historical events such as this b e h i n d a w a l l of cliched
sentimentality, in a patent refusal to serve u p the real truth
about the sheer idiocy of A m e r i c a n involvement in Somalia. It
also champions the ignorance of the i n d i v i d u a l soldiers as they
sacrifice their lives unquestioningly for a cause that proved to
be so trifling for US policymakers that President C l i n t o n called
off the whole of operation Task Force Ranger the next day.
In the light of recent events in A f g h a n i s t a n this movie w i l l
provide real insight into the methods employed the US i n their
covert operations abroad. The importance of intelligence gathering. This is modern A m e r i c a n warfare. No longer the interminable struggle b e t w e e n the huge armies of t w o nations.
Instead you have short and isolated encounters b e t w e e n highly trained and equipped A m e r i c a n forces and third-world militia
armed w i t h rocks and Soviet machine-guns.
The sheer m i s m a t c h b e t w e e n US soldiers and Somalian militia makes painful v i e w i n g at times. A n d as so often in Ridley
Scott movies, the plot and characters take a back seat and you
are left w i t h a series of d a z z l i n g and often disturbing images
and impressions of a terrible battle.
The acting is completely forgettable a n d Ridley Scott is the
only star of the show. The characters are all faceless cliches.
There's the idealist w h o cries, the pragmatist w h o smokes, kills,
and lives life on the edge, and the guy w h o always has a picture
of his wife and child handy just w h e n he's going to die. "Tell
her...ugh... that I lo... lov... loathe cheesy deaths," I clearly
remember h i m saying, before realising that he's m i s s i n g a torso.
The dialogue is always corny to the point of hilarity.
Producer, Jerry Bruckheimer's presence is felt only too w e l l .
There is a clear p a r a l l e l here w i t h Pearl Harbour
and
Armageddon
in terms of the moralising and hero-worship. But
w h a t partly redeems the movie is the action, at times on a par
w i t h the opening t w e n t y minutes of Saving Private Ryan, w i t h
the only criticism b e i n g that there is too m u c h of it. The action
becomes diluted, especially w i t h cliched characters. Because
w h o cares w h e n a cliche dies? It's already dead.
So overall, it may look and sound spectacular, but
Down is boring.
Blackhawk
Darius
coffee break
Crossword by Dr. Hot Fudge
Across
1. W i z a r d gives s e c o n d
goblin to t w o queens.
(8)
4. Wooly garment makes
dash from church. (6)
9. Perfect partners cheat
b a d l y in d e p a r t m e n t
store. (7)
Down
11. M u s i c a l drink gives an
understanding. (7)
12. Prophet on e c s t a s y
goes to crooked jail
before hospital. (6)
13. Bloke outside temporary settlement gets
battered? (6)
green
team
15. Sickly
comes to mutual conclusion. (9)
6.
16. Insect holds g u n over
point. (4)
A n s w e r to 1223 - Across: Veranda, Lucifer, C h i m n e y Sweepers, Tawny,
Tacit, Smile, Dry Rot, Nipple, A c m e s , Phalli, U n p l u g , Naive, Atrip, Taste,
Oral Stimulation, Pretext, Manager.
D ow n:
Vacated, R a i l w a y Carriage, Nanny, A s y l u m , Lawful, Cheat,
French Polishing, Rosette, Stain, Iambi, Ensue, Pea-Soup, Greener, Artist,
Vacuum, Piste, Train.
19. One extra in copyright
object. (4)
21. Girl's furniture is an
ornithological device.
(4, 5)
25. Toast at the bar? (6)
sheep
in
26. C o o k e d
syphilis, perhaps. (6)
of
carriage
28. Picture
w i t h ring on. (7)
29. E q u a t i o n of class at
university of louisiana.
(7)
Hey there good buddies. Fudge and Cyclops are back in business, bringing you the latest in p u z z l e d o m and all-purpose lubricants for another
term of fun-filled madness. Our apologies for not making an appearance
last w e e k but w e were late i n returning from our break in Thailand, 30. Currency group i n vegw h i c h w a s spent filming our u p c o m i n g masterpiece: "Bangkok C h i c k
etable. (6)
Boys II - Cyclops sheds a tear." The w i nner of last week's collaboration 31. Calculated by compacrossword is M i c h a e l Bye, Physics II. I don't k n o w who those t w o idiots
ny politician and U t a h
were w h o served u p that d i s g u s t i n g vomit in the guise of a x-word, but
editor. (8)
rest assured t h e y ' l l never be a l l o w e d to do it again. Until next time, be
excellent to each other.
Dr. Hot Fudge
1.
2.
3
5.
Seasonal
mathemati-
cian? (6)
D e c o m p o s i n g over the
top in circle
(7)
besides
East
L o n d o n college. (4)
T u m o u r i n cheek of
irish mother. (6)
D e s t r u c t i o n of
god
before charge. (7)
Removes
extensions
surrounding
endless
track. (8)
8. S p i d e r s m a n g l e d i n
crash ad. (9)
10. C u r e d leader holding
the French. (6)
14. Foreigner
receives
allowance
after
January 2001. (9)
7.
17. L a t e d r i n k t a k e n i n
nocturnal
headgear.
(5-3)
18. Teacher holds flagpole
at east river. (6)
20. P r o s i t u t i o n v e h i c l e s ?
(7)
22. Case of legal clothing.
(7)
23. Organise again at holiday destination. (6)
24. M a n t akes h e a d l e s s
N e d to battle over
penny. (6)
27. Hairstyle of a french
zero.(4)
know o -ftn civil tranters.
Frtt packet of crisps, SIR? How
obowfsofM italiciouJcUcola+t?
~~3
CD
CD
CT
CD'
U)
9
break coffee
G F Q Q - The Great Felix Quote Quiz
b y
B o b b y
C y c l o p s
&
Dr. Hot
F u d g e
Number of players: 60
Bond Quotes Special!
The L e a d e r B o a r d - top 15
1. "Red wine with fish. Well, that should have told me
something!"
2. "His name's Jaws....he kills people."
3. "Tve never killed a midget before, but there can always be a first
time!"
4 . " I feel a slight stiffness coming on."
5. "You defy all my attempts to plan an amusing death for you!
You're not a sportsman Mr. Bond! Why did you break up the
encounter with my pet-python?"
Bonus Question. To what does Bond liken drinking Dom Perignon
53 above a temperature of 38 degrees Farenheit?
]
Name
A n d r e w Ince
Simon N o r t h
Daniel Sauder
Christopher Dent
Chris Ince
A n t h o n y Rodriques
John Anderson
Rebekah H y m a s
Arosha Bandara
Gregory M a n n
Geoff Lay
K i m Randell
Vuk Cerovic
Fred M a r q u i s
Chris Toffis
Score
73
73
72.5
69
68.5
67
65.5
62.5
61
59.5
58
58
55
51.5
51
A n s w e r s to [email protected]
or
to the Felix Office
West W i n g
Basement, Beit Quad.
Answers to lyric special:
1. Raindrops Keep Fallin' O n M y Head/B. J Thomas - B u t c h
C a s s i d y & the Sundance K i d
2. Windmills of Your Mind/Noel Harrison - Thomas C r o w n Affair
(orig.)
3. U p Where We Belong/Joe Cocker - A n Officer a n d A Gentleman
4. Fame/Iren Cara - Fame
5. M o o n River/Audrey H e p b u r n - Breakfast at Tiffany's
Bonus. A l l of these films w o n an Oscar for best song in the respective motion pictures.
o
j—j
'You amuse me, Mr. Bond!'
a
t
ESQUIRES
COFFEE
HOUSES
e
OPPOSITE
WAITROSE
T.iii
7e3s
n i l
Welcome back 'Packers! I hope you accept my apologies for my
absence last week, but the 'Doc is such a d e m a n d i n g actor to work
w i t h : he refuses to shoot unless he gets his t w o fudge-fingers at
9am. Back to more pressing matters: it's time for another helping of
G F Q Q ! Remember, the quiz ends in M a r c h at the end of the Spring
Term, so keep sharp and send i n your entries if you w a n t to w i n the
super G r a n d Prize! The end-of-term prize ('Bad Motherfucker' w a l let) at Christmas w a s w o n by S i m o n N o r t h after a tie-break question w i t h A n d r e w Ince. These t w o characters are still t i e d at the top
of the leaderboard - w e need challengers to dislodge them from
their perch.
To start the year w e have a special B o n d G F Q Q featuring famous
quips from both 007 himself and various villains/henchmen from
B o n d films from across the years. I'm surprised w e haven't touched
upon this subject before... where else can you find names like Holly
Goodhead, Fatima Blush, Plenty O'Toole and, of course, Pussy
Galore? Well, same rules as always (Film, Character/Actor) - good
luck, see you next week!
Bobby Cyclops
The Royal College of Science Union
Presents the Second Annual
AMSTERDAM
WEEKEND
25
t h
- 27
t h
J A N U A R Y 2002
L E A V E FRIDAY NIGHT A N D RETURN S U N D A Y
NIGHT
COACH, FERRY AND
ACCOMODATION
A L L FOR JUST
0
To book your ticket or for more
information,
email [email protected]
or pop into the R C S U office
(on U n w i n R o a d between
C i v E n g and
MechEng)
e
e
s
If you play a match, you can have
it reported in Felix. A l l you have to
do is write it down, and get it to
the Felix office in any way you like
by 11pm on Wednesday evening.
It w i l l then, hopefully, be published bv the followincr Friday, and.
everyone w i l l know of your w i n .
I'm assuming you w i l l w i n . If you
don't, you can report it too, and at
least you'll get sympathy, or some-
sport active
Netball
ICI18
I C S M 34
What can w e say... too m u c h
drinking at School Disco & too
much dacning - sore feet... w e l l
if w e can't play netball, w e
have to say w e can play better
drinking games!
We started w i t h scores drawing all the way, until they started getting more, that is. Ruthyb a b y w a s superb & q u i c k
around the court, a n d t h e n
Claire kept that ball from going
out of the centre third. But even
Claire (our medic w h o plays for
the right team!!) couldn't
always stop the 6+ ft (we're
sure there should be a height
limit i n netball - if you can reach
the ring without jumping y o u
shouldn't b e allowed to play...
r a i n b o w coloured socks are
always going to put people off.
too) shooter from getting the
b a l l . K a t h r y n kept t h e G o a l
Attack (GA) completely out of
the shooting b y blocking her
out of the 'D'. Beckie (out most
valuable player of the match)
scored m a n y a m a z i n g goals
from all sorts of positions, and
H a n n a h , w i t h her d a n c i n g
spins, got free of her G o a l
Defence (GD) at every turn, finishing off w i t h some beautiful
goals. J e s s fought against
Hannah - a medic w h o h a d
decided to do trials w i t h us, but
n o w plays for the medics... traitor! Just a few grunts a n d grimaces for t h e first m a t c h ,
though i n the 3rd a n d 4th quarters, the medics extended their
lead, despite all our efforts. We
played a good match, but
couldn't quite pull it off.
Jess
Ladies Hockey
ever
Nobody
w o u l d have
believed it. Five-nil to t h e
ladies' seconds! It w a s more
than w e could ever dream of.
The m a t c h s t a r t e d w i t h a
smooth move from Bex taking
the ball into their half, w h i c h
w a s where it stayed for the
remainder of the game. Less
t h a n five minutes i n , our
supreme captain N i k k i scored w e were all astonished. A couple of minutes later the t w o
J e n s c o m b i n e d light forces
resulting i n Jenny D placing a
nifty one past their keeper.
After some excellent defending
of the centre line b y A n i t a and
Sally, Chloe grabbed the ball
and took he score to 3-0. Half
time came and passed, and our
magnificence w a s not surpressed. One more each from
N i k k i and Jenny, some fantastic
Live sport
o n t h e
RSM Football
A cold January w i n d b l e w
over the desolate, waterlogged
pitch. Stobbs wandered aimlessly from the changing rooms
and by the time he reached the
pitch, the mighty R S M were 1-0
d o w n , after only thirty seconds. However, it w a s clear to
everyone that this early surge
w a s just a flash i n the pan.
The pitch glowed, the crowd
silenced and SOAS quivered in
their feeble boots as the mighty
ex-skipper graced t h e field
w i t h his presence. That w a s
the best it w a s ever going to
get for SOAS, and b y the looks
on their faces, they k n e w it.
Rob Thomas (the defensive
prodigy) inspired the dynamic
movement of n e w left back,
bionic G a z N o r t h a m as he
stormed u p the pitch w i t h the
debutant extraordinare Ludo
b y his side.
Sweet interplay w a s t h e
theme i n the presence of the
legend, Sir A n d y M a s o n w h o
co-ordinated the rising stars' E l
Capitane Schluch-es-Menzies.
Lord Peter took the ball from
w h a t seemed an uncompromisi n g position. H e played what
s e e m e d a n impossible b a l l
through to t h e deviant yet
explicitly
talented
James
Stewert who split the defence
like a grade 1 clipper through a
taliban's beard.
Dear Lord, Pete w a s great,
Ludo rolled a six, Bertie got
shirty and n e w keeper Johnnie
played the strikers like a cheap
G e r m a n harmonica. Thanks to
Ken w h o scored four goals.
Final score: R S U 4-1 SOAS.
runs from Marianne, excellent
tackles from M a r y Hafia, a n d
marvellous defending
from
Karen H and the score stood 5-0
as the final whistle blew. A n d
where w o u l d w e have been
without the somewhat bored,
belly-shuffling Karen M i n goal?
BIG SCREEN
S a t u r d a y 19th J a n .
Aberdeen v Rangers 5.35pm
b a r o p e n a t 12 n o o n
Jem.
2||th
Chelsea
v ~ W i ^ M r i a m
Leeds
Arsknal^4pm
b a r
v
o p e n
a t
1 2
2prjj
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n o o n
M o n d a y 21 s t J ^ n .
Charjtoq v villa 7 p m
Tuesday ^ 2 n d J a n .
ManUtdvtiverpoplSpmv,
!
Wednesrfdty*"23rd J a n .
Dumfermline v Rangers
7.45pm
imperial
G r o u n d
P r i n c e
floor,
B e i t
C o n s o r t
Q u a d
R o a d
cohege
BARS