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Transcription

146

VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
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READ THE PLANET, IT’S FREE
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(256) 533 • 4613
SEPTEMBER 29 - ROCKTOBER 19, 2011
IN THIS ISSUE:
Dracula: Lord of the Vampires,
Women’s Hang Gliding Festival,
The Ghosts of Old Bryce Hospital,
Pray for Me and My Big Mouth, Party of One,
News of the Weird, Monte Sano Fat Tire Festival,
The Greatest Calendars on Earth!
W
elcome to The Jazz Lounge. My guest
for this session is truly a star of stage,
screen and television – actor and singer
Tom Wopat. This Wisconsin native is probably
best known for his role as “Luke Duke” in the
popular, long-running TV series “The Dukes Of
Hazzard.” Tom achieved television fame along
with his co-star John Schneider, who played
“Bo Duke” in the series, which ran from 1979 to
1985.
From 1995 to 1998, Tom Wopat had a leading
role as Cybill Shepherd’s ex-husband/stuntman
“Jeff Robbins” in the TV sitcom “Cybill.” Other
television appearances have included the shows:
“All My Children,” “Home Improvements,”
“Medium”, and “Murder She Wrote”. In 2005,
Tom reunited with John Schneider for an episode
of “Smallville.” In 2010, he played opposite
Kevin Bacon in the HBO production “Taking
Chance.” The role of “Colonel Slocum” went to
Tom for the movie “Jonah Hex” in 2010.
This gentleman is equally talented when it comes
to the stage, and has an impressive list of credits
to show it. Tom Wopat made his Broadway debut
in 1987, in the musical “I Love My Wife,” and
went on to perform in the Tony Award-winning
“City Of Angels” and “Guys And Dolls.” He
appeared in the revivals of “Annie Get Your Gun”
with Bernadette Peters (for which he received a
Tony nomination), “42nd Street,” and “Chicago.”
He worked with Alan Alda in “Glengarry Glen
Ross” and is currently on Broadway in “Catch Me
If You Can,” in the role of Frank Abagnale, Sr.
Tom just starred with Sigourney Weaver in New
York in a special performance of “The Guys,”
playwright Anne Nelson’s response to the 9/11
terror attacks on New York City. The premise
here is “a dialogue between a fire captain who has
lost most of his men in the September 11th attack,
and an editor who helps him write eulogies as
she struggles herself to come to terms with the
event.”
I first became fully aware of Tom Wopat’s vocal
talents awhile ago, while I was still back home in
New York City. Yes, he can sing! As a successful
recording artist, his many albums include:
“Dissertation On The State Of Bliss,” “The Still
Of The Night,” and “Learning To Love.” You
might want to check them out. The new album,
“Consider It Swung” (Stiletto Records), released
in August, has 14 tracks. You’ll find a really nice
collection of jazz standards and originals, which
Tom makes all his own: “That’s Life,” “Spinning
Wheel,” “But Not For Me,” “Ode To Billie Joe,”
“2 Grey Rooms,” “Maybe Someday Baby,”
“Thailand Sea,” “You’d Rather Have The Blues,”
“Deacon Blues,” “50 Checks,” “You Fascinate
Me So,” “42nd Street,” “Natural Man,” and “The
Last Night Of The Year.”
Jackie: Tom, it’s truly a pleasure to welcome you
to The Jazz Lounge.
Tom: Thank you.
Jackie: Congratulations
on the release of the new
album!
Tom: It was a lot of fun
to make – great songs,
great musicians, great
arrangements!
Jackie: You’ve had quite
a career! It’s amazing
to see all that you have
accomplished. Of course,
you’ll always be fondly
remembered as “Luke
Duke” in the popular 80’s
TV series “The Dukes Of
Hazzard.” What was it like being a part of such a
successful show? Also, looking back now, what
would you say is the most important thing you
learned by having had that experience?
Tom: Actually, looking back gives me the
perspective to say that the TV star thing was never
my goal. I’m probably more comfortable with the
current mix of theater, music, and film.
Jackie: Your talents extend to the stage, where
you appear right at home. You really seem to
enjoy it. With memorable performances in “City
Of Angels,” “Glengarry Glen Ross,” and the
many others, do you possibly have a favorite
among them?
2
Tom:
Probably
“Annie Get Your Gun”
with Bernadette Peters
– phenomenal actress,
great singer, terrific
kisser.
Jackie: Please tell us
about your current
role on Broadway as
“Frank Abagnale, Sr.”
in “Catch Me If You
Can.”
Tom: “Catch Me If
You Can” just closed. It was fun, though…
Jackie: You’ve really done it all. As a recording
artist, I know you’ve done country, pop, jazz, and
it’s my understanding that your true passion is
jazz. I think you and jazz are a perfect fit. Have
you always wanted to focus more on that?
Tom: No, I just feel that I’ve kind of matured
into it.
Jackie: I really like the new album, “Consider It
Swung.” How did this project come together?
Tom: I wanted to make a swing record that was a
little eclectic. I think we accomplished that.
Jackie: Among the tracks is a beautiful tune
called “Thailand Sea.” What was the inspiration
behind this one?
Tom: I made a TV movie in Thailand – what an
amazing experience! The beauty of the place was
the inspiration.
Jackie: Nice line up of musicians here, too.
Tom: David Finck assembled the best band in
New York City!
Jackie: I’m sure you’ll be doing promotional
touring in support of the new album. What is your
official website, so everyone can keep up with
where you’ll be performing, and get their copy
of “Consider It Swung” or one of your previous
albums?
Tom: Awesome!
Jackie: In closing, what about your other passion
– fishing?
Tom: I’ve got a small cabin in north Jersey on a
lake. I catch small fish from the dock, get my cat
all riled up, then throw them back…
Jackie: Thank you, Tom, for sharing some time
in The Jazz Lounge. Will check out one of your
shows when I come back to New York. All
the best with the album, and thanks for your
contribution to the arts.
Tom: Thanks for having me.
Tom: www.tomwopat.com
By the way, Tom just celebrated a birthday on
September 9th. Here’s wishing him all the best!
Jackie: Is it true that you’re already working on
material for the next album?
Remember, I can always be reached at:
[email protected].
Tom: Yeah.
Until next time, stay cool, and keep it jazzy!
Jackie: I’ve got to ask you how was it working
with Sigourney Weaver in the 9 / 11 drama “The
Guys”?
#092911101911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
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SEPTEMBER 29 - ROCKTOBER 19, 2011
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VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
#092911101911
203 Grove Ave , Huntsville Al, 35801, phone 256 533-4613
Table of Contents
2
Jazz Lounge, Jackie Anderson
4
Dracula: Lord of the Vampires
4
Pray for Me and My Big Mouth, Larisa Thomason
4
True BS, Tim Benton
5
The Ghosts of Old Bryce Hospital, Jessica Penot
5
Adventures in the Tennessee Valley, Tina Leach
6
Unchained Maladies, Ricky Thomason
6
Furniture Factory/ Voodoo Lounge, Justin Markland
7
Party of One, Allison Gregg
7
The Head That Wouldn’t Stay Dead: The Musical
8
Auntie Jen’s Animal Crazy
8
Theatre is Alive and Well at UAHuntsville
9
Zee’s Rocket City bEAT, Jim Zielinski
10
Dr. Anarcho’s Rx for Old Stuff That Don’t Suck
10
Music Calendar Begins
11 Music Calendar Continues
12
More Music Calendar
13
Music Calendar Continues
14
The Single-Guy: Communidate, Aaron Hurd
15
Regional Concert Calendar
15
Events Calendar
16 Events Calendar Continues
17
More Events Calendar
18
40 Days to Promise
19
News of the Weird
20
I Can’t Even Dance in My Dreams, Thomas V. Ress
20
Sci-Fi Review: For All Mankind, Matthew Kresal
20
Monte Sano Fat Tire Festival Will Be Rockin’ and Rollin’ Good Time
20
2011 Women’s Hang Gliding Festival
20
Monte Sano Art Show Award Winners
21
Free Will Astrology, Rob Brezsny
21
What Then Must We Do?,
Bonnie Roberts
22
To Yuno From Yunohoo
22
Music Exchange
22
Classifieds
Publisher
Jill Wood
Calendar
Joanie Williams
Lay-Out
Douglas A. Lange
Contributors
Bonnie Roberts
Elaine Nelson
Tim Benton
Jackie Anderson
Ricky Thomason
Aaron Hurd
Allison Gregg
Auntie Jen
Larisa Thomason
Thomas V. Ress
Jim Zielinski
Lane Cobl
Jessica Penot
Lori Connors
Katherine Monahan
Matthew Kresal
Justin Markland
Letter from the
Publisher
I
hope all of you Valley Planet readers are
getting out and enjoying this time of year! I
am! I have had a blast the last two weekends
with football games, Oktoberfest, the Big Spring
Jam and the Monte Sano Art Show! (Yes, I rode
the FireBall, ate loaded fries and a funnel cake.)
We have another great lineup of local musicians
and a ton of cool events and festivals over the
next few weeks so take your Vitamin D and C,
B12, multi vite or whatever so you can join in
on the fun. It’s all listed in our music calendar,
regional calendar and our events calendar in this
issue! There really is something for everyone.
The next issue is our Halloween Issue, Oct. 20, so
get your costumes ready and let’s have some fun!
Jill E. Wood, Scary Ride Lover
“Can’t watch ‘Fellowshp’ just yet,
it ain’t Hobbit weather”
~ Anonymous
On the Cover:
Don Wolfe
I
am a member and active participant of the
Huntsville Art League (HAL) where I have
a gallery to prominently display my art. My
photography has been on display at several
prominent locations around Huntsville and Decatur.
Current exhibitions include special invitation to the
Artistic Images Gallery and part of the “50 Best”
photographs of the Huntsville Photographic Society
(HPS) at the Huntsville Gallery of Art. In the HPS
I have been awarded 1st place in numerous photo
competitions and am working on the third step
toward the Master Photographer level.
Having had a lifelong love for photography, I started with a Brownie box camera in the 1950s, and
worked up from there. I habitually had a camera with me wherever circumstances took me, whether
a 35mm slung inside my parker on the Alps, or a mini in my pocket in the jungles of Viet Nam. In
2005 I made the switch to digital and joined the HPS. After winning in several monthly competitions,
I decided to publicly show for the first time in the 2008 Panoply Arts Festival. Since then I’ve been
accepted for participation in other regional and national juried Arts Festivals.
YOUR AD COULD
BE HERE FOR AS LITTLE
AS $21.25 PER WEEK
My training has been mostly through self-education over the years from innumerable how-to books and
articles, photo magazines, discussions with other photographers, and years of practical experience. I
now use “Lightroom” and “Photoshop” for my digital darkroom and have attended classes on their use.
I became a Canon fan about 1968, and this is still my primary source for cameras (11 different models),
lenses, printers, and printing supplies. I print most of my photos using my own ink-jet printers with
archival inks and papers. All of my work is photography, but a few pictures are digitally enhanced to
yield an artistic watercolor effect. Contact information for Don Wolfe: 256-881-7511,
[email protected]
so...why isn’t it??
Thank you for reading the fine print of the Valley Planet. The Valley Planet and valleyplanet.com are published every three weeks by J W Publications in Huntsville, AL. You can pick up the paper free all over the
place or get it free on the web. Copyright2003 by the Valley Planet, Inc. All rights reserved. You can contact
me at [email protected]
Reproduction or use without our permission is strictly prohibited. The views and opinions expressed within
these pages and on the web site are not necessarily those of the Valley Planet or its staff. The Valley Planet is
not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts or art. Back issues are available for viewing on our web site www.
valleyplanet.com in the archives section. You may reach the Valley Planet office @ 256.533.4613 or by mail
at Valley Planet 203 Grove Ave. Huntsville, AL 35801. Subscriptions to the Valley Planet are now available
for $50 a year in the USA.
256-533-4613 VALLEY PLANET
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VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
3
True BS
One reporter for The Birmingham News tried to
find out: “The manager of one Alabama Victoria’s
Secret store, who declined to be identified, said she
God, Guns, and Lingerie
doesn’t know why Alabamans have their minds
by Tim Benton
on lingerie to a greater degree than residents of
rom the category, “Tell me something I didn’t other states.”
know,” comes a survey from the people who
operate “Zite,” a news gathering application That reporter could’ve asked me. I do know.
found on Ipad that tailors news content for internet It’s the religion thing. You see, viewing those
users based on the user’s own searches, tweets, nubile nymphs wearing three square inches of
and anything else electronically traceable. It is, in strategically placed cotton is the closest we Godfearing Alabamans can come to viewing porn
essence, news customized for the individual.
without mortally sinning and punching our oneThe survey tells us that the number one news way tickets to Hades.
demand of the people of Alabama (and make sure
you’re sitting down before you read further) is But some of those inquisitive Alabama web
surfers wedged in between God and guns are
college football!
probably responsible for more than their fair share
Who would’ve figured? This is surprising to of these lingerie searches. But that’s okay. As
learn, but perhaps it explains the Nick Saban stockholders of the Victoria’s Secret Corporation,
statue erected in Tuscaloosa, the tree on the critical we’re required by corporate bylaws to view each
list in Auburn, and the annual four trillion dollar new lingerie offering by way of catalogue, internet,
combined budgets of the Alabama and Auburn television, and any and all representations of VS
models in a lingerie repose, wherever they may
football programs.
be found. These mandatory observations are so
As soon as you recover from that shocker, get numerous that they sometimes become a chore,
ready for another. Four of the top ten searches but we persevere. It’s called “taking one for the
for news content by Alabamans are for religion! team.”
I never would’ve imagined that. I drive by
only eighteen churches as I cruise the length of Though highly enlightening, the survey is
Whitesburg Drive. I mean, that’s not a lot for one disappointing in one regard. It’s surprising that it
didn’t show us Alabamans scoring more for visits
street, is it?
to AnheuserBusch.com, PabstBrewing.com, and
And at number six on the list comes another JackDaniels.com. Because if there’s anything
surprising oddity about our state — we Alabamans we like more than watching football and shootin
love our guns! Rifles, pistols, shotguns, pellet guns, it’s drankin.
guns, BB guns, electromagnetic death rays — you
name it. If it dispenses death from the end of On a side note, in researching to write this
barrel, Alabamans want news about it. I found column, I tripped over urbandictionary.com and
this a little hard to believe at first, but the premise its definition of “Alabaman.” They define the
is proven by the annual state body count of 2.5 term as “a person from Alabama, or anything
million deer and five thousand home intruders. that is backward and uneducated, like the state
(Like a lot of folks, I have sympathy for the deer, itself.” Whoever wrote that blasphemy cannot so
egregiously insult God’s country and expect to go
but the intruders had it coming).
unpunished. If this tool of Satan ever sets foot in
As remarkable as the revelations of the survey are, Alabama, he should be regarded as an intruder.
most of it can be explained. But Lord O’ Mighty, And we all know what happens to them.
what in tarnation is lingerie doing at number
five on the list? Are you kidding me? Guns I Tim welcomes comments at [email protected]
can rationalize, but lingerie internet searches in
Alabama? Makes you wonder what your neighbors
are really using their Ipads for.
F
Dracula: Lord of
the Vampires
I
f Hollywood, pop culture and teenage girls
are to be believed, vampires are sensitive
creatures that sparkle in the sunlight and
date underage females. But some 6,000 years of
folklore contradict this sappy new stereotype.
The vampire, as cultural archetype, is older than
human civilization and is anything but sweet and
sensitive.
the book or seen the movies. Whether it’s from
Bram Stoker’s novel or the Deane and Balderston
play made famous by Bela Lugosi, people know
Dracula, and they know how this story goes.”
Which is why Miller chose to take many of the
story’s conventions and “shake them up.”
“All the same characters are there and the story
is essentially the one from Stoker’s narrative, but
there are some twists. We do some things in this
play that have, to my knowledge, never been done
before. And, in my opinion, the changes work
very well.”
“Vampires are the most human-like of all
monsters,” says Wayne Miller, writer and codirector (along with Kelly Sims) of Dracula: Lord
of the Vampires, a new play debuting this October
at Huntsville’s Renaissance Theatre. “But they
are monsters.”
As far as the venue for his production, the choice
for Miller was obvious. “Renaissance Theatre and
I go way back,” he says. “It’s a great partnership.”
Back in October of 2009, Miller had brought to
the Renaissance stage another original work
inspired by a pre-existing classic, Frankenstein:
Indeed, a vampire is, by definition, an animated The Presumption of Man. That show was both a
corpse that preserves its “undead” condition by critical and financial success, and afterward Bob
drinking blood. According to legend, anyone may Baker, owner and artistic director at Renaissance,
become a vampire after death. Yet when one utters requested more shows in the same vein. Happy
to comply, Miller turned to his favorite of all the
the word, one name comes first to mind.
classic monsters and penned his treatment of the
“Dracula is the most famous, or infamous, vampire vampire prince.
of all time,” Miller says. “He is arguably the most
recognizable (semi) fictional character in the (Be on the lookout in 2012 for another original
world. The role has been portrayed on stage and production by Miller and Baker at Renaissance, the
screen more than any other. He’s even made his dark comedy How NOT to Commit a Murder.)
way onto Sesame Street. It would be hard to find
There is one thing,
anybody, anywhere, who
however, Miller wants to
hasn’t heard of Dracula.”
make crystal clear about
his Dracula. “Evil doesn’t
When writing his play,
sparkle,” Miller says with a
Miller found this universal
laugh. “And it never dies.”
familiarity with the character
to be both a blessing and a
See Dracula: Lord of the
curse. “When people see
Vampires at Renaissance
that name up on a marquee,
Theatre from October 14that’s a guaranteed draw,”
30 at 7:30 PM. For tickets
he says. “On the other hand,
call 256-536-3117.
everybody has either read
4
Pray for Me and My Big Mouth
By Larisa Thomason
A
labama Democratic Party Chair Mark Kennedy asks audiences
to “pray for me and my big mouth.” They may need to. His
speeches combine the certainty of an Old Testament prophet
with the timing of a professional comedian. Kennedy brought his
message of “Democratic revival” to Huntsville on September 1 when
he addressed the Madison County Democratic Women’s monthly
meeting.It was a wide-ranging speech covering everything from
national politics to the need to draw a younger demographic into
the Democratic Party. The standing-room-only crowd interrupted
Kennedy’s address with standing ovations twice and with laughter
too many times to count.
Instructing the crowd on “how to talk to Republicans,” Kennedy explained: “You can’t argue with these
people because they’ve drunk so much Kool-Aid their brains are fried.” Instead of arguing, draw them
out by asking questions, he instructed. As an example, Kennedy discussed the Alabama Legislature’s
plan to require drug testing for anyone receiving state benefits. “Ask them this: do you realize that 70%
of Medicaid patients are in nursing homes? Are you really going to line them up, herd them into the
nursing home cafeteria and make them pee in a cup? Do you really want to do that?”
He gently mocked Republican presidential candidate and MN Representative Michelle Bachmann’s
verbal missteps: “If she can’t get Elvis Presley’s birthday right, can’t tell the difference between actor
John Wayne and serial killer John Wayne Gacy, and thinks that God was sending a message when
He sent a hurricane and earthquake through Washington… well, is this the best Republicans have to
offer?” Kennedy urged Democrats to stay upbeat and get involved. He’s optimistic about the future of
the party at a time when many political observers have written off its prospects for the next generation.
The Alabama Democratic Party is in political and financial trouble, but Kennedy is ready to rebuild.
In 2010, Alabama Democrats lost control of the Legislature and all constitutional offices. Yet, the state
party leadership seems strangely reinvigorated. “We may have made mistakes in 136 years in control,”
Kennedy conceded. “But in less than 9 months, the Republicans have blown us back to the Stone Age.
The state can’t afford more Republican rule.”
Many Alabama Democrats long ago grew dispirited by both the complacency and ineptitude of the state
party. Mark Kennedy is offering them hope and a plan for renewal. For the first time in recent memory,
the party leadership is taking the fight to the Republicans. The Alabama Democratic Party has climbed
out of the trenches and is on the offensive. Local Democrat Melanie Faithful was impressed. She called
Kennedy “more than a breath of fresh air. He’s a hurricane. I look forward to modern methods and
a new outlook for our party.” Mark Kennedy is preaching the Democratic gospel, but it remains to be
seen how many voters respond to his impassioned altar call.
#092911101911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
THE VALLEY PLANET
Adventures in the
Tennessee Valley
by Tina Leach
This is Bat Country!
I
t started out as your typical Saturday. I helped out at a poetry
festival and was greeted at home with a “You wanna go to
Scottsboro and see the bats?” from my traveling companion.
(That’s traveler speak for Sauta Cave. See the Traveler to English
dictionary for more information. It also has translations for things
like “that rock in Monteagle” and “that cool gas station in Cowan”
– both actual places.)
The internet is full of all sorts of information, some necessary and some disturbing, but one thing it does
not have is good directions to Sauta Cave. So here they are. Head toward Scottsboro on 72. Turn right
when you see a sign pointing out the birding trail. If you get to Scottsboro, you’ve gone too far. There’s
just a small turn-off leading to a gate. And that’s it. No fanfare, no “Hey, this way to the bats!” sign
anywhere. Once you walk past the gate and onto the trail, you’ll see the sign that lets you know you’re
in the right place. Super-villains’ secret lairs are easier to locate.
After two GPS failures, a U-turn, and asking directions at a gas station, we arrived at the cave.
There is a nice observation deck outside the cave. The cave itself is locked up with a metal grate,
possibly to keep out trespassers, bat hunters, or maybe just visigoths. I was just told by someone today
that you used to be able to go in the cave. Now there are no less than three signs stating that you may
NOT go into the cave. (Of course, with the big metal grate blocking the entrance, you’d have to be able
to teleport to get in—and those people answer to NO ONE.)
And then you wait. And when dusk arrives, you wait for it to get duskier. And then you see a few flits,
which is cool, but you are (as a fellow bat watcher remarked) expecting to see the bats fly out of the cave
like the opening credits of Scooby Doo. It’s not quite like that, but it is really cool.
You just see a few bats, then a few more, and then before you know it, the sky is filled with them. The
best time to see them is July and August. We went shortly after that, but it was still pretty impressive.
Just in case, I would recommend a hat or umbrella. It wasn’t necessary in our case fortunately, but I
would rather err on the side of caution with that one.
halloweenexpress.com/huntsville
Note of Warning: As you know, bat caves are natural haunts for vampires. It being the Halloween
season, you just want to be careful. Maybe wear some garlic perfume, etc. And don’t go during a full
moon like we did. It is doubly dangerous. We could have been attacked by Dracula AND The Wolf
Man.
The Ghosts of
Old Bryce Hospital
Across From Madison Square Mall
by Jessica Penot
5850 University Dr. NW
Huntsville, AL
T
he Alabama Hospital for the Insane was meant to be a refuge for the mentally ill. Its architecture
was designed based on the ideas of Dorothea Dix and Thomas Story Kirkbride. It was meant to be
moral architecture that would contribute to the healing process within the hospital. The hospital
opened in 1861 and for a while it held to the ideals of Dix and Kirkbride. The first superintendent,
Peter Bryce, was an idealist who had studied mental health in Europe. He believed that patients should
be treated with respect and kindness. He even abandoned the use of restraints. The hospital was later
named for Bryce and it went on to be the model for progressive mental health care.
Time quickly eroded Bryce’s legacy, however. By 1967, there were more than 5,200 patients residing
in a facility that was never meant to hold that many. Observers described Bryce as a concentration
camp and a model for human cruelty. In 1970, one patient named Wyatt started a class action law suit
against Alabama’s other mental hospital, Searcy State Hospital. This lead to major change in the way
the mentally ill were treated in Alabama. The number of beds was cut drastically and humane treatment
of the mentally ill became an absolute necessity. The landmark Wyatt v. Strickney case would change
Bryce drastically. “Old Bryce” was the African American portion of Bryce Hospital and was notorious
for being even crueler than its white counterpart. After Wyatt v. Strickey and desegregation, Old
Bryce was shut down entirely and other buildings were used. The African American patients were
integrated into the white population. 5.00 OFF
$
Old Bryce still sits quietly deserted, however, as a reminder to the old days when patients were held like
prisoners with no rights. It is covered in graffiti and has been vandalized many times. It’s even been
set on fire. Trespassing is forbidden here, but the curious have reported seeing all manner of horrors
coming out of the dark around Old
Bryce. Lights flicker on an off in
a building that has no electricity. Phones ring in rooms with no
phones. Phantom lights drift from
room to room. Furniture moves on
its own and footsteps echo through
the abandoned hallways. The
living patients may be gone, but
many believe Old Bryce is still
filled with the ghosts of those who
once suffered within its walls.
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7
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
sv l eAL c ndd
5
Unchained Maladies
by Ricky Thomason
D
o you get songs stuck in your head? That
can be bad. It can be worse if it happens to
be a song you don’t particularly like. Often
we wonder where they came from or what punches
their play button. Sometimes it’s something you
heard on the radio that morning or a snippet from
a TV commercial.
It is September and that happens to be the month that
people with last names starting with the letter “T”
render unto Caesar the renewal fee for automobile
tags. That can necessitate a trip to the courthouse,
standing in lines with little else to do but watch the
beleaguered clerks perform their duties for those
ahead of you.
Out of the blue the lyrics, “Dumb be dumb be lie
(dumb be dumb be lie), dumb be dumb be low
(dumb be dumb be low”) sprang up to rattle around
in my head. Once I realized there was a song in
my brain, I identified what it was and immediately
wondered how the annual ritual hassle of renewing auto tags triggered the “Mickey’s Monkey” song.
Then it hit me; it was the association of how hard the Morgan County Courthouse employees work only
to be labeled “lazy” and accused of not wanting to do their jobs by their very own State Representative,
Mickey Hammon.
That’s pretty bold stuff from a little red-faced man who works only about thirty days per year. Granted,
that’s thirty days too many because the fewer days our Goat Hill Gomers are in session, the better we
the people of Alabama fare.
Their last stint (stunt?) hatched the illegal immigration bill of which Hammon is the proud papa.
Mickey’s scarlet face beams proudly at the mention of the monkey placed on the backs of Alabama
and its people.
I once thought there was nothing worse than a small man with a little authority. I must amend that
statement: There’s nothing worse than a small man with a little authority and political influence and an
ego the size of a circus fatman.
I have to wonder: If Hammon keeps on keeping on being a populist shill, how long before we need a
birth certificate, a driver’s license, a passport, a check stub, proof of insurance, a picture of the agent,
a McDonald’s Hamburger wrapper, and a signed pledge that we hate Mexican food before we may
renew our tags?
Dumb be dumb be lie, indeed. I’m as lazy as a courthouse employee myself. I like the option to renew
tags by mail. I really do hope Mickey’s Monkey is amended to allow me to write a check, lick a stamp
and waddle to the mailbox so some sluggish courthouse bureaucrat can place my little stickers in an
envelope, lick it, stamp it and return it by mail. There is no truth to the rumor that they are so slothful
they have little dogs under their desks to lick the envelopes for them.
Doubtless Alabama has myriad problems, many of which spring from a constitution so big a monkey
could sit on it and swing his feet. Our dimming racist image has been fortified and repainted with a
glowing capital “R” after the last legislative session.
This much I know is true: Outside of a city block in Montgomery, Alabama’s state and county employees
are not the problem. They are doing more work for less pay than ever before. Do most of you think
teachers are lazy? I wouldn’t put up with the little cretins they do for twice the money.
Our “us too” legislature are said, like Florida’s, to be considering mandatory drug testing for welfare
recipients. Drug tests should start with our legislators. What are those people smoking that fills them
with such hubris, lack of compassion and a torpedo- be-damned, full speed ahead, all-out assault on the
poor? It’s class warfare and their class is winning.
I have a question for all courthouse, county and state employees, including teachers. Did you vote for
the guys who call you lazy? Having any second thoughts about this bunch?
Furniture Factory/
Voodoo Lounge
by Justin Markland
’ve been writing these reviews for about a year now and I’m still finding great places to listen to
music. I’ll admit I have some venues where I know I’ll always see a good show, but sometimes it’s
nice to have a good time outside of my comfort zone. Furniture Factory is one of those places. I
had eaten there a of couple times in the past and never knew they had a huge outdoor stage and patio
area out back (maybe that’s common knowledge, but it wasn’t to me). On a whim I went late on a
Friday night for dinner and decided to sit on the patio. The J. Curly Blues Band was in town from
Birmingham so I got the full patio experience. As I watched the band, I realized the crowd was all a
bit older, and definitely more drunk. I then reflected on the other times I had been here and realized the
Furniture Factory is where the older partiers hang out. Even though it’s not my typical scene, I had a
great time. The Furniture Factory is an awesome venue with fantastic food. With the weather starting
to get a little cooler, it’s the perfect time to sit out on the patio and enjoy the music. Take a look at the
music calendar for a band you might enjoy. Pla’Station is there every Wednesday, or maybe head there
for Karaoke on Tuesdays.
I
6
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VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
Another place I hadn’t yet been was Voodoo
Lounge. Now, I know that this should probably
be a place that I should have gone long ago, and
I have no excuse. Strangely enough, I ended
up going there because a bar across the square
(I won’t name names) wouldn’t let me in due
to my attire. It worked out for the best; I got to
see a little bit of an open mic night that I really
enjoyed. They have a pretty solid weekly lineup
of music that goes from 9:30 till 1:30 a m. every
night of the week. Tuesday is generally Dave
Anderson; Wednesday is James Irvin; Thursday
is Open Mic night; and Sunday is Karaoke.
Monday, Friday and Saturday night are always
changing—Seducing Alice is playing this Friday
for example. The bar is a perfect place: small,
dark, and full of beer and music. Probably a
place more geared towards the younger crowd. I
haven’t been to the Karaoke night but I’ve heard
it’s quite the dance party.
I know it’s hard to get out of your comfort zone,
but try to get out to a venue you haven’t been to
before. You might be pleasantly surprised.
THE VALLEY PLANET
The Head That Wouldn’t Stay
Dead: The Musical
hat do you get when you mix a campy horror film and re-vamped versions of songs that
everyone knows? You get The Head That Wouldn’t Stay Dead: The Musical. The brainchild
of Writer-Director Bob Baker at Renaissance Theatre, this new horror musical is going to kill
you with talent, laughter and its unforgettable songs.
W
Writer Bob Baker got the idea for The Head That Wouldn’t Stay Dead: The Musical from a campy
1962 “B” science fiction-horror movie, The Brain That Wouldn’t Die. The plot centers on mad-scientist
cum M.D., Dr. Mitch, who loses his gorgeous girlfriend, Penny, in a terrible car accident on the way
to a weekend at his country estate (that just happens to have a Dr. Frankenstein-type laboratory in the
basement). Dr. Mitch rescues the head of Penny and takes it to his laboratory, where he manages to keep
her head alive. Penny is none too happy being a head on a platter, so Dr. Mitch starts looking for bodydonor candidates. Hysterically funny antics ensue. This play is the perfect Halloween entertainment.
Several thrills, not too many chills.
Opening October 28 and running through November 6 on Renaissance Theatre’s Alpha Stage, The
Head That Wouldn’t Stay Dead: The Musical is Co-directed by Samantha Musto. Ken Newton as
Mitch the Doctor, Kara Haynes as Penny his Nurse/Girlfriend, Zachary Mayhall as Igor his dumb but
loyal Lab Assistant, Samantha Musto as Trixie Daniels and Michelle Seigh as Tammy playing, ahem,
“dancers”, and Jeff Lapidus in a gamut of hilarious characters all bring this totally off-the-wall work
to...er...uh...life, as it would be. With music direction by Sara McFaddin and choreography by Patricia
Forrest, it is sure to be something you do not want to miss.
Renaissance Theatre is offering a double feature for Halloween for $22. See both The Head That
Wouldn’t Stay Dead: The Musical and Dracula the weekend of 28-30 October! Also, you can see
either show plus dinner theatre for $36 on Saturday, October 29! Reservations Required on Dinner
Theatre. Call Renaissance Theatre for more information.
“Like” us on Facebook - The Head That Wouldn’t Stay Dead: The Musical. For tickets, please visit
Showclix.com/Huntsville or call 256.536.3117 and leave a message or visit
www renaissancetheatre net.
Admit the Problem
O
h, damn you security guy, Rob!” I groaned at the computer. “I am sick of your ‘Sorry something
went wrong, we need to reload’ excuses,” I continued. Off went an instant message to my
similarly addicted friend: “What the (curse word) is wrong with Zombie Lane?” We exchanged
our grievances before returning to our real lives.
The next day I quit, sending my friend the following email: “I had to quit, I kept waiting for every five
minutes to pass (so my power would return) so I could smack a zombie. This morning I dragged the
computer into the bathroom to play while drying my hair. And I was contemplating spending $2 on fake
potatoes. Real potatoes don’t even cost that. I’m done.”
She coerced me into Zombie Lane, a Facebook game, when I was laid out with pink eye. It’s so
ridiculous that I feel like a fool even admitting my addiction. No way am I going to explain to you the
importance of killing zombies, collecting goods all the while growing crops to earn chicken legs. I am
an adult, with an adult life, adult bills, adult responsibilities. So why on God’s GREEN EARTH am I
wasting my time on this crap? But moreover, why am I sharing my secret addiction? If I were you, I’d
quit reading at this point and declare me a fool. But if you are anything like me (quirky, silly, beautiful,
and humble) or the other 47% of Americans who play online games, you know the struggle. But do
any of us know why?
Here’s my take. Work is hard. Life is busy. By 8 p.m., my brain is fried. I can’t carry a conversation.
I’m done with email and the iPhone. The dogs are tucked into their beds. The house is quiet. The
to-do list is just like I like it: unfinished. What’s the harm in checking Facebook to see how my 457
peeps are doing? As I peruse their status updates, new photos, and other postings, I see that one
invitation. All it takes is one invitation: Your friend wants to be your neighbor. I’m in like a sucker.
Socialization without conversation. Mindless chatter. Away go the cares of the day. Time is wasted
because it’s effortless. It doesn’t require me to care or think or decide. It’s addictive to disappear into
these games.
Second, for me and my friend who roped me into this, this is how we became friends. We were
acquaintances when we first squared off in faux Scrabble, then we planted crops, which led to earning
millions in Texas hold ‘em poker, and now we kill zombies. We’ve spent many hours playing each
other in these games WHILE WE WERE IN THE SAME ROOM. We’re both competitive (but I’m
better at it). We find our addiction equally serious and humorous.
Finally, these games produce a near instant sense of accomplishment that real life is missing. Once
you’re away for a few hours, you arrive on Zombie Lane full of energy and ready to kill. You complete
simple tasks and earn points. Earn enough points and hello next higher level. At the new higher level,
you can get more weapons or better crops. The push for the next level is what keeps me playing.
The downside is the shame and mild embarrassment. We already established my place in adulthood.
But really, for me, the benefits outweigh that. I’ve admitted my addiction. Now I’ve got to decide what
to do with it. However, my Facebook just binged because someone sent me a request. Surely it’s a new
weapon and surely my power has been restored. That security guy better not tell me about any errors
though. My arsenal is full and I’m ready to whack a zombie. Game on.
THE VALLEY PLANET
#092911101911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
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with a nap, then a snack, and then some play time
followed by another nap.”
Graydon: “I spend most of my day sleeping and
killing stuff. I keep it simple.”
AJ: Let me clarify…Graydon’s an
assassin. Phoebe’s a sniper. What’s the
difference?
S
o you met Castor and Pollux (aka “Kanye”)
last issue. Now meet their housemates—
the notorious Mekong Bobtail twins also
known as Graydon da Bear and Phoebe da Sniper
from da Future.
Below is a candid interview with the twins and
their human parents that is dedicated to anyone
out there who has accepted the challenge of
loving a “special needs” pet.
AJ: Sarah, please share some of your
philosophies on adoption?
AJ: What has she “sniped”?
Sarah: “Notice any strays around here? (Pause)
Just sayin’.”
AJ: Interesting. Let me redirect this to
Phoebe...So your family has described you
as “a sniper” and even the “sniper from the
future.” They’ve used pop-culture terms
recognized by multiple generations, such
as “Terminator-ness,” to illustrate your
behavior. Care to comment?
Phoebe: “I took down Bin Laden.”
Sarah: “[My husband] Joe admits to being
against it at first. He at one point had bought a
cat from a show. I myself had bought a cat from a
breeder. [Adoption] was something we went for,
and was by far one of the best decisions we have
ever made.”
AJ: I beg your pardon. I believe that credit
would go to a dog…more specifically a Belgian
Malinois…you know, like my husband,
Winston.
Sarah: “Graydon’s more hands-on. Everything
must die. He spends several hours a day in
training. Phoebe just does the job and leaves. She
keeps it clean and simple.”
AJ: Sarah, I understand you don’t drive in
the rain, but you made an exception to get
Graydon from Decatur Animal Services. Sarah: “Yes, I did. I took the 72 West route
from Five Points so it was a very long drive to
Decatur that way. At the shelter, I remember
asking Graydon if there was some way he could
make the rain stop for the drive home. Somehow
or another, it did.”
AJ: Isn’t that interesting.
You twins
will be celebrating your first birthday on
Halloween. Any big plans?
Sarah: “I have the paper trail.”
AJ: Phoebe and Graydon share respiratory
challenges. How do you find out if your cat
has a bacterial lung infection, and what
kind of treatment should you be prepared to
administer?
Joe: “After several trips to Chase Animal
Hospital, one of the tests they ran came back
positive for [a bacterial lung infection]. It was
a fear and a relief at the same time. We had no
idea what it was, or what was to come of it. After
finding the right medication, the stress was lifted
and they were able to start living a healthy life.”
AJ: Graydon...On average, how much do
you reckon your “maintenance” costs your
family?
AJ: Um-k.
eyed?
But Phoebe, aren’t you cross-
Phoebe: “No. I’m crossed-OUT.”
AJ: K. Speaking of violence, I personally
choose to view the world filterless and find
wars to be as ridiculous as those portrayed in
the Cats & Dogs films. Care to weigh in?
Phoebe: (Silence) AJ: Alrighty then. Phoebe, what’s in the box
at the end of Se7en?
Phoebe: “KITTENS!”
Graydon: “Less than $200 a year. That includes
medication, yearly shots and check-ups.”
AJ: I like the way you think. Briefly describe
a day in the life of a Mekong Bobtail.
AJ: Cool. This one’s for Sarah. Please
describe the rewards you receive for choosing
to take on the challenge of “special needs”
kittens.
Phoebe: “I start my day pretty early. I normally
wake Mom up by 6:00am by screaming at her
and slamming my head in her face. I follow that
Sarah: “They are amazing. I could not
imagine my life without them. Everything
about them is special. We were all meant
for each other. They complete me...” Sarah: “They are on a holistic diet. The really
enjoy Halo. Castor, Pollux and Phoebe enjoy
the Natural Purrz treats from Zuke’s.” (Hint:
You can find these lovers’ and killers’ favorite
treats—as well as some awesome pet foods
without fillers—at Goin’ to the Dogs and Cats
on Wellman in Five Points!)
AJ: Thanks for the info. Back to their twinness…Graydon and Phoebe truly are twins
in every sense. Please give the readers some
illustrations of their loyalty for one another.
Sarah: “If Phoebe has to go to the vet, Graydon
has to go with her and vice versa. They do
everything together and are never apart from
each other longer than a few minutes. They are
the best of friends. They love each other. It’s
that simple.”
Auntie Jen would like to give a roaring “Meow
out” to everyone out there—cat, dog, human
and otherwise—who has mad love for their
twin! Send comments and story ideas to me
at [email protected]. Fan mail for
any of my interviewees—past, present, and
future—can be directed to “Auntie Jen” at PO
Box 144, Huntsville, AL 35804.
Thanks for reading!
Theatre is Alive and Well at
UAHuntsville
T
heater is alive and well at UAHuntsville! This year boasts an exciting line-up of shows guaranteed
to both intrigue and delight every audience. First is Gian-Carlo Menotti’s The Consul. Featuring
the renowned Bass vocalist Eric Jordan, this dark opera is a timeless tale of government oppression
and the woes of the common man. This opera is for anyone who has a taste or appreciation for music.
Jordan is a phenomenal performer known for his trademark “big bass and presence to match” (Opera
News) with vocal quality described as “a resonant, ringing tone” (St Louis Post-Dispatch), wherein his
“powerful, nuanced singing and thoughtful acting amounted to a wholly remarkable portrayal” (The
New York Times). Performances are Oct. 26, 28, and 30 at 7:00 pm in the Wilson Theatre. Mr. Jordan
will also be performing a special “Opera Cowboy” Folsom Prison Concert on Oct. 27th.
The spring semester will feature a brand new play entitled Where the Great Ones Run, written by Mark
Roberts, creator and executive producer of the hit television series “Mike and Molly,” and directed
by David Harwell. It will run March 29 - 31, and April 4 - 7 at 7:30 pm and April 1 at 2:30 pm in the
Wilson Theatre. The play depicts the story of country legend Sonny Burl as he returns to his hometown
to play one last concert. While there, he tries to reconnect with the wife he never divorced, the brother
he abandoned, and the daughter he never knew. So come join UAHuntsville Theatre as we present our
2011-2012 Season!
Sarah: “She’s a sniper.”
AJ: Okey doke. Now on a less macabre note…
Graydon doesn’t like cat treats, but he’s been
described as a “cheese licker.” Please explain.
AJ: What does their diet consist of?
Then we present one of Shakespeare’s earliest works, The Comedy of Errors. It is his shortest and one
of his most farcical comedies, with much of the humor coming from slapstick comedy in addition to
puns and word play. The Comedy of Errors tells the story of two sets of identical twins accidentally
separated at birth. Expertly directed by Dr. Chad Thomas, the piece keeps the audience on its toes and
is a must see for any Shakespeare fan. Performances are Nov. 16-19 at 7:30 pm and Nov. 20th at 2:30
pm in the Chan Auditorium.
AJ: Thanks for that Jerry Maguire
moment, Sarah. In the last issue we
delved into the blessing and curse that
is the fame surrounding “Hai Cat”
Pollux. Does Phoebe have a claim to
fame?
8
Graydon & Phoebe: (In unison, like twins are
known to do) “You know, the usual…Death,
Doom, Mayhem, Destruction…and some Looting,
if possible.”
Sarah: “He does not want to eat the cheese. He
just wants to lick it. We can’t find anything he
likes as far as treats go. So when we are eating
cheese as a snack and he wants to lick it, we don’t
stop it.”
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VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
THE VALLEY PLANET
reason not to drop by and immerse thyself, id and
tusk, in multiculturalism.
An update on two previous entries: VIETNAMESE
SUBS [(256) 361-6067; 5830 University Drive,
NW @ Old Monrovia Road, NW] has added gỏi
cuốn to their menu, while CESIA’S BAKERY/
PANADERIA MEXICANA [2900-M Triana
Boulevard SW; (256) 323-3902] has added pork
and chicken tamales to theirs. Prices are two for
$3.00 and one for $1.25, respectively. The former
are UNFRIED, veggie-loaded “summer rolls”
and probably one of the healthiest fast foods with
which one may abscond. As for the latter, you
…by Jim Zieliński
can have healthy, or you can have compelling. I
OUR LAST-MINUTE WARNING: This coming weekend marks both the 39th ANNUAL offhandedly chanced upon the tamale info, only
GREEK FEST at the HOLY TRINITY-HOLY CROSS GREEK ORTHODOX CATHEDRAL confirming their existence and price in the wake
[307 19th Street South, Birmingham; (205) 716-3080; http://www.bhamgreekfestival.com/, of a mini-chivaree I was compelled to stage in
Thursday through Saturday] and the 21st NORTH ALABAMA SCOTTISH FESTIVAL [Goose Pond my attempts to reclaim the slothful counter chick
Colony, Ed Hembree Drive, Scottsboro; (256) 259-5500; http://tennesseevalleyscottishsociety.org, from her most hypnoid repose. I shudder to add,
after all that, both places were out! Talk about
Friday and Saturday]. Search our online Archives at www.valleyplanet.com for my overview.
tiMING.
AND YET, THERE’S MORE: Tyrophiles unite—a BRAND-NEW fest, also this weekend! Ours
truly just discovered signs of an inaugural (let’s hope ANNUAL) SOUTHERN ARTISAN CHEESE
FESTIVAL at the NASHVILLE FARMERS’ MARKET [900 Rosa L. Parks Boulevard; (615) 8802001; http://nashvillefarmersmarket.org]. It takes place Friday, 30 September from 6:00 – 9:00 p.m.
and you can follow them on Facebook or via http://thebloomyrind.blogspot.com. Food sampling
tickets are $20; food-plus-alcohol savoring tickets are $40. Each entrant receives a $5 voucher for
onsite purchases. Artisanal curd-weavers who hie from The Heart of Dixie (i.e. STONE HOLLOW
FARMSTEAD), Virginia, North Carolina, Georgia, and a’course the Volunteer State will meet to
exhibit the best fromage udders can buy, whilst specialty food producers (including Music City fave
PROVENCE BREADS & CAFÉ) and microbrewers will have the perfect accompaniments in tow. Wow…what is going on this autumn? Sounds grate! Whey to go!
Y
On Saturday, 1 October, the “HERBS FOR THE HOLIDAYS” workshop at the HUNTSVILLE
BOTANICAL GARDEN [4747 Bob Wallace Avenue, SW; (256) 830-4447; www hsvbg.org] will
instruct all comers in the proper utilization of their little plantlets vis-à-vis ensuing festive occasions,
while providing insider info on prepping one’s 2012 herb garden. Tag-teaming with this will be an
HBG mini-Herb Fair at the Herb Boutique from 9:00 a m. – 4:00 p.m. For registration specs, call (256)
539-2474/774-3454 or e-mail [email protected].
Another fun-with-food time returns to many in Fayetteville, Lincoln County, and (depending on where
their descendants alighted) the entire region: the 19th ANNUAL ELK COTTON MILLS FAMILY
HOMECOMING at the Fayetteville Recreation Center [1203 Winchester Highway (Highway 64 East);
(931) 433-1315/4349] will take place on Sunday, 9 October. As always, the invitation is extended to
former mill employees, their kith AND their kin. So if you, your grandfather, your great-grandmother,
or your favorite step aunt-in-law toiled there, call up to get your invitation and join in the fun…call
now, ‘cause they have upfront expenses and must needs give the caterer a headcount! Prices are $10.50
for adults and $5.00 for offspring ten and under. Fellowship and hobnobbing begin at 11:00 a m., with
lunch at 1:00 p m. in the form of a delicious down-home buffet set out by Angie’s Catering. In addition
to entertainment, there will be sing-a-long time, a Walk Down Memory Lane, and door prizes. And
some of those door prizes are typically…more food. Just ask anyone who’s fearfully run the ravenous
gauntlet to the relative safety of the middle of the highway, gripping their hard-won country ham,
pigskin style.
Now, while I’m all ACHTUNG, here’s another heads up, so you might foment anticipative measures: October ends with the one-two-three punch of multiple ethnic excursions. So punch someone you love,
mine rampant xenomaniacs, and leave us excurse with Gadarene abandon!
Beginning on Thursday, 27 October, we have Birmingham’s annual ST. GEORGE THE GREAT
MARTYR (MELKITE RITE) CATHOLIC MIDDLE EASTERN FOOD FESTIVAL [425 16th Avenue
South; (205) 915-8051/492-9621; www.saintgeorgeonline.org]. Hours o’ festivation are Thursday
– Saturday, 10:30 a m. – 2:00 p m. and 4:00 p m. – 9:00 p m. There’ll be a wealth of comestibles
available both through full plates, such as “The Nile” (kibbee, spinach pie, grape leaves, green beans,
rice, Arabic salad, and bread – $16.00), and à la carte. On Friday and Saturday nights, you’ll co-nosh
to the throbbing rhythms of AMIN SULTAN. As to be expected, takeout service is available; drivethrough hours are 11:00 a m. – 2:00 p.m. and 4:00 – 7:00 p.m. BTW, “Melkite” refers to the Byzantine
Rite Catholics of Middle Eastern origin, and you can well see the influence in their entrées…
Now here’s a hot news wrap-up on lamb wraps: Saeed Adibi, former Harvest Jiffy Mart maven
and purveyor of many a delish gyro therein, has
finally transmogrified the erstwhile service station
into a true-blue eatery—5A’S RESTAURANT
[6297 Highway 53/Ardmore Highway, Harvest;
(256) 852-8089]. To quote Jason “Raccoon Boy”
Graham, “Huzzah!” Hours are Monday – Saturday,
10:30 a m. – 9:00 p m. and Sunday, 11:00 a.m.
– 6:00 p m. I can nichts wait to visit; the menu,
currently found floating about Facebook, lists the
usual suspects (e.g. traditional gyros, Chicken
Kabab, Falafel), but adds some other Middle
Eastern items, as well. Khoresh bademjan, a
Persian eggplant stew, Sholeh Zard (Persian ricesaffron-almond pudding), White Russian Scoopz
(Russian ice cream with mocha and coffee),
and tilapia gyros all sound inviting, though I’ll
need some clarification to distinguish between
“Eggplant Spread” and Baba Ghanouj which is,
pretty much, “eggplant spread.” I first discovered
Saeed during my treks to pick up Chinchilla
Chow at Harvest Feed Mill. And I will venture to
say if my chinchillas weren’t vegetarian, they’d
set aside their hookahs long enough to insist you
“betake your fat A’s to 5A’s.” The next option occurs ONLY on Friday, 28 October…when GRACE LUTHERAN SCHOOL presents
their 21st ANNUAL GERMAN LUNCHEON. Yes, Oktoberfest is in your rearview mirror, yet your
inner oom-pah need not be prematurely muted…visit www.gls-hsv.org, call (256) 881-0533, or e-mail
[email protected] for the scoop. Then drop by 3321 South Memorial Parkway, mere nanoseconds from
the Useless Overpass, on All Hallow’s Eve-Eve-Eve-Eve to dine in on, or race to your Batmobiles with,
your choice of a robust rouladen repast or a bodacious bit of bratwurst for only $12. Lunch runs from
11:00 a m. until 1:00 p m. in the Deutschland-decorated gymnasium. You’ll find the customary selection
of sides, but I predict the topper to be homemade Apfel Kuchen (apple cake), straightforwardly yet …And if English were their second language.
magnetically described as “…with thick icing.” The cause: enhancing the math and reading curricula Oh, and speaking of Portuguese and South
America…for you lovers of their cuisine…
for all grades. The result: Essen. So we’ll see you there. SCHNELL!
PUBLIX #0574 [4851 Whitesburg Drive, SE,
If a couple of countries don’t satiate you, then get ready for transcendent, trans-world quality time just Suite B; (256) 650-2390] at the Piedmont Point
one day later. It’s the SECOND ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL FESTIVAL OF NORTH ALABAMA, Shopping Center has linguiça, confirmed even as I
held in the Atrium and Courtyard of the UAH Shelby Center for Science and Technology [North Loop type by informed Meat Manager Dave Silvernail. Road, just off 301 Sparkman Drive, NW; (256) 824-6432]. Last year, it sneaked up on us, right at Call ahead, for word is these elusive links fly off
Halloween. Now we have the why’s and wherefore’s at the ready. The festival runs from 10:00 a.m. the shelves like paranoid meal moths at Miss
– 4:00 p m. on Saturday, with food tasting beginning at 11:30 a.m. for a MERE $5.00. Entrance to the Lovett’s granary. But to the point: the one time
event itself, however, is FREE. Courtesy of area community groups and UAH’s international student I decided to create a bodacious feijoada for my
organizations, you’ll enjoy flag-festooned displays from twenty-seven nations (and counting!), including slavering Yuletide guests, the sausages were
Poland, the Caribbean Islands, Pakistan, Australia, Turkey, Guatemala, Egypt, the Philippines, Nigeria, nowhere to be found. I did ask for linguiça at
and Ukraine, whose families helped foster our region’s melting pot status. Hosts in native apparel LA MICHOACANA, but the response scarce met
will showcase imported handcrafts, travel videos, historic literature, postcards and photos, children’s my needs…suffice to say, I’m either betrothed or
activities, and other A/V delights. Concurrently, performers such as Celtic mainstays SlipJig, the joined a sorority. But at last, we can all be happy! Huntsville India Association (Bollywood and Classical Indian dances), David Boling (Uillean pipes), Except, perhaps, our friends at the Heart Center.
Ira Leitner, and the UAHuntsville Latino Studies and Development Club (Mexican Folk Dance) will
keep all entertained just outside the doors. The aforementioned global food samples will be augmented
by onsite vendors of Indonesian, Iranian, Italian, Nigerian, and Chinese cuisine. There can be scant
THE VALLEY PLANET
#092911101911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
9
A
nyone who visits Dr. Feelgood, aka Dr. Anarcho, knows I have a passion for the blues as well as
live albums. God knows there are enough lip synching idiots on the pop charts today to prove
that studio wizardry and pitch correctors can make anyone sound like they can sing even if they
couldn’t carry a tune with big red handles on it.
I’m no luddite and believe that technology is a wonderful thing, but the downside of that in the music
business is that it allows looks to count more than talent in many cases.
With the advent of sampling (read stealing) other peoples’ riffs, we have a segment of the entertainment
world where people who can neither play an instrument nor sing worth a damn become pop stars. I
would say “music” stars, but most of that crap isn’t music.
If you can play and sing, I want to hear you do it live and raw, sans studio gimmicks, and that my
friends, takes talent.
Any of Kenny Wayne Shepard’s flock of fans know he can definitely sing and play. A guitar virtuoso
from a tender age, Shepard has matured into one of the best blues-rock guitarists of our day, and he can
absolutely rock your world live, to wit:
Dr. Anarcho’s Rx For Old Stuff That Don’t Suck is Kenny Wayne Shepard- Live In Chicago (Special
Edition) In 2010, Shepard’s long-awaited live CD was recorded at The House of Blues in Chicago,
fittingly enough the home of electric blues.
The sound on this CD is especially good for a live album. Shepard is backed by a group of legendary
blues musicians. The roster includes: Hubert Sumlin (a living legend), Willie “Big Eyes” Smith, Buddy
Flett, Bryan Lee, Chris Layton & Tommy Shannon (of SRV’s Double Trouble), Noah Hunt, Riley
Osburn, and Scott Nelson. If the names don’t make you say “wow,” the sound of the band will.
Track list: “Somehow, Somewhere, Someway,” “King’s Highway,” “True Lies,” “Deja Voodoo,” “Sell
My Monkey,” “Dance For Me,” “Baby, Don’t Say That No More,” “Eye To Eye,” “How Many More
Years,” “Sick And Tired,” “Feed Me,” “Rocking Daddy,” “Blue on Black,” “King Bee” and “Voodoo
Child” (slight return).
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Thursday, September 29
BANDITO BURRITO (MADISON), Marge
(SEE AD PG.13)
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Dave Anderson
BAUMHOWER’S OF HUNTSVILLE,
Clay O’Dell (6-9)
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, CrackerJacks
CROSSROADS, Little Big Town
DAILY BREW (DECATUR), Open Mic Night
DIAMONDS, Bike Night w/ Chaos
FINNEGAN’S PUB, Slip Jig
FURNITURE FACTORY, Acoustic Caravan
GLASS’S COCKTAILS & GRILL (DECATUR),
Karaoke w/ Lewis
GRID IRON GRILL (NEW HOPE), Open Mic/
Live Acoustics
HALF TIME BAR AND GRILL, Karaoke w/
Bubba Rocket
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Alibi
HIGHWAY HAVEN, Karaoke Contest w/ Tony
HOPPER’S, DJ Lil’ Ed
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL,
The Dawn Osborne Band
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Dave Anderson
KNIGHT MOVES, Karaoke
KNUCKLEHEADS, Bike Night w/ Live Music
LEE ANN’S, LaRose
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, Bike Night
w/ Live Music
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Karaoke w/ Amber
ROUNDERS ON THE LAKE (GUNTERSVILLE),
Karaoke
SAMMY T’S MUSIC HALL, DJ Keibot
SANDY’S ROADHOUSE (GUNTERSVILLE),
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, 5ive O Clock Charlie
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Tim Tucker
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Trey Browder
VIEUX CARRE, Ladies Night/DJ Brandon Mac
VILLAGE PIZZA (DOWNTOWN ATHENS),
Barry Kay
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL,
Open Mic Night
THE STEM & STEIN, Stapp and Stock
TIGGER’S TAVERN (GUNTERSVILLE), Karaoke
VIEUX CARRE, The Vieux Carre Playmates w/
special guest
Seducing Alice
Friday, September 30
AMERICAN LEGION POST 176,
The Mercy Band
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Marge Loveday
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Daze Gone
CASA MONTEGO, Reggae & More with DJ
Frankie J
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW, Roger Hoselton
(SEE AD PG.10)
COPPERTOP, Chaos (SEE AD PG.13)
DIAMONDS, Thad and Company
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
ELK’S LODGE, Karaoke
FINNEGAN’S PUB, Sing Along with Nancy
FRATERNAL ORDER OF EAGLES (DECATUR),
Karaoke w/ Howie and HDK
GEE’S PLACE, Open Mic
GRID IRON GRILL (NEW HOPE), DJ/ Doc Roc
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Cheezee
HIGHWAY HAVEN, Shameless
HOPPER’S, Peter and the Wolfe
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Dave Anderson/
Lightnin’ Malcolm
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Melody Guy
KNUCKLEHEADS, Jason Albert Band
LEE ANN’S, Black Eyed Susan
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/DJ Mike B
LONE GOOSE, Fatso
LOWE MILL, Amy McCarley performing
w/ The Bear
MOODY MONDAYS, Karaoke
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL,
Jason Albert Band
OLIVIA’S BAR AND GRILL, Karaoke
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL,
Partner’s Cabaret Show
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, The Late Bloomers
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Hypsys
THE BRICKHOUSE (PROVIDENCE), EZELL
(SEE AD PG.11)
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Glenn and Libba
THE PATIO ON 2ND (DECATUR), Kozmic Mama
THE STATION, Live Music/ Karaoke
Sunday, October 2
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Off Brothers
CASA MONTEGO, Devere Pride Trio
COPPERTOP, Open Mic (SEE AD PG.13)
HOPPER’S, Karaoke w/ Tara Kearns
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Sunday Blues Jam
hosted by Freddy Earl and
the Blues Mercenaries
SPORTS PAGE, Open Mic w/ Robbie Hutto
VIEUX CARRE, Jr. Playmates and Open Stage
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Karaoke w/
DJ Brandon Mac
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
Saturday, October 1
Karaoke w/ JimboDJ
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Melody Guy
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW, Open Mic Night
(SEE AD PG.10)
COPPERTOP, Ben and Rachel (SEE AD PG.13)
CROSSROADS, Hennessy Black promotion
Square One
FURNITURE FACTORY, Kozmic Mama
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Pla’back
HOPPER’S, Peter and the Wolfe
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Space Capone
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Groove
LONE GOOSE, Shane and Coldwater
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Jury
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Toy Shop
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), The Sills
THE PATIO ON 2ND (DECATUR), Crush
THE STEM & STEIN, Jim Cavendar
special guest
Lacey Atchison
Monday, October 3
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Robert LaSalle
Karaoke w/ Lewis
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL,
Open Mic w/ Marge
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Acoustic Open Mic
hosted by Greg Rowell
KNUCKLEHEADS, Karaoke
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Dave Anderson
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Tim Tucker
Tuesday, October 4
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Jazz Jam Open Mic
BAUMHOWER’S OF HUNTSVILLE, Dave
Anderson (6-9)
COPPERTOP, HDK Karaoke with Howie
(SEE AD PG.13)
Karaoke w/ Lewis
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Noel Webster
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Charlie Howell
LEE ANN’S, Waylon and Willie
MAC’S SPORTSBAR AND STEAKHOUSE
(ATHENS), Karaoke w/ Doc Roc
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, DJ Jeff Karaoke
OUR PLACE (DECATUR), Karaoke w/ DW
music cont. on pg.11
THE VALLEY PLANET
music cont. from pg.10
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Open Mic
w/ Marge Loveday
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Chelvis and the Bean
THE STATION, Karaoke
Matt Prater
Dave Anderson
Wednesday, October 5
3RD BASE GRILL (SOUTH PARKWAY), Robby
Eichman (8pm)
Karaoke w/ JimboDJ
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Microwave Dave
CAZEDORES, Karaoke Night
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW, Songwriter’s
Jam (SEE AD PG.10)
COPPERTOP, Bike Night w/Thad and Company
(SEE AD PG.13)
FINNEGAN’S PUB, Bourbon and Shamrocks
Karaoke w/ Lewis
GRID IRON GRILL (NEW HOPE),
Open Mic Night
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Donnie Cox
HOPPER’S, Loose Shoes
Mike Zito
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Songwriter’s Jam
Solo artists
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Sargent Peppers
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/DJ Matt Todd
OUR PLACE (DECATUR), Bike Night
w/ Live Music
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Talent Contest
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Chris Cook
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Preston Grammer
VILLAGE PIZZA (DOWNTOWN ATHENS), The
Grant and Charles Show
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, James Irvin
THE VALLEY PLANET
Thursday, October 6
BANDITO BURRITO (MADISON) , Marge
(SEE AD PG.13)
Clay O’Dell (6-9)
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Smokin Guns
DIAMONDS, Bike Night w/ Live Music
Karaoke w/ Lewis
Open Mic/ Live Acoustics
HALF TIME BAR AND GRILL, Karaoke w/ Bubba
Rocket
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Motor City Josh
LEE ANN’S, Crush
LONE GOOSE, Jim Cavender
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, Bike Night w/ Live
Music
Karaoke
Karaoke
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Open Mic Night
THE PATIO ON 2ND (DECATUR),
Black Dog Saint
VIEUX CARRE, DJ Brandon Mac
Barry Kay
Open Mic Night
Friday, October 7
The Mercy Band
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Tangled String
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, CO Jones
CASA MONTEGO, Reggae & More
with DJ Frankie J
#092911101911
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW, Trigg and Taylor
(SEE AD PG.10)
COPPERTOP, Relayer (SEE AD PG.13)
CROSSROADS, 1st Fridays
DIAMONDS, The Unit
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, Elixir
GEE’S PLACE, Cross Cut Band
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), 4 on the Floor
We Three Kings
LEE ANN’S, Pla’station
LONE GOOSE, Chinchillionaires
LOWE MILL, Gil Landryer
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL,
Partner’s Cabaret Show
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Jimmy R Band
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Group 6
THE BRICKHOUSE (PROVIDENCE)
(SEE AD PG.11), EZELL
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Ethan Dendy
THE PATIO ON 2ND (DECATUR), Wild Ride
THE STATION, Black Eyed Susan
special guest
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Dawn
Osborne
Saturday, October 8
AMERICAN LEGION POST 176, Karaoke w/
JimboDJ
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Dave Anderson?
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Liz Hurley Project
(SEE AD PG.10)
DIAMONDS, Driven Under
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, Stephaniesid
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
Square One
FURNITURE FACTORY, Crush
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Jason Albert
Band
HUMPHREY’S BAR & GRILL, The Compromise
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Gryphon Rocks
LONE GOOSE, Lance Almon Smith Band
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, The Pride of Kings
Variety Show
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Seducing Alice
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Gnomes
THE PATIO ON 2ND (DECATUR), Booty
Shakers
special guest
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Toy Shop
Sunday, October 9
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Max Russell and the
Shakedown Kings
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Sunday Blues
Jam hosted by Freddy Earl and the Blues
Mercenaries
SPORTS PAGE, Open Mic
DJ Brandon Mac
Monday, October 10
Karaoke w/ Lewis
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Open Mic w/ Ant
and Andrew
11
Open Mic Night
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Dave Anderson/Yo
Mama’s and The Big Fat Booty Band
Solo artists
KNUCKLEHEADS, Crush
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Big 40
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Bourbon and Shamrocks
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Blagburn
Thursday, October 13
OUR PLACE (DECATUR), Bike Night
w/ Live Music
BANDITO BURRITO (MADISON)
(SEE AD PG.13), Marge
Clay O’Dell (6-9)
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Bad Substitute
DIAMONDS, Bike Night w/ Live Music
Karaoke w/ Lewis
Open Mic/ Live Acoustics
HALF TIME BAR AND GRILL,
Karaoke w/ Bubba Rocket
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Shane Dwight
LEE ANN’S, LaRose
LONE GOOSE, Traci Traci
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, Bike Night
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Acoustic Open Mic w/ Live Music
SANDY’S ROADHOUSE (GUNTERSVILLE), ROUNDERS ON THE LAKE (GUNTERSVILLE),
Karaoke
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Dave Anderson
Tuesday, October 11
Karaoke
BAUMHOWER’S OF HUNTSVILLE, Dave THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Trey Browder
Anderson
(SEE AD PG.13)
VILLAGE PIZZA (DOWNTOWN ATHENS), Barry
GLASS’S COCKTAILS & GRILL (DECATUR), Kay
Karaoke w/ Lewis
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Open Mic
BENCHWARMER, Kwill
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Leaky Sneaker
LEE ANN’S, Rudy Mockabee
Friday, October 14
MAC’S SPORTSBAR AND STEAKHOUSE 53 SPORTS BAR & GRILL, Jason Albert Band
AMERICAN LEGION POST 176, The Mercy
Band
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Open Mic w/ Marge BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Silverstreak
Loveday
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Smokin Guns
SANDY’S ROADHOUSE (GUNTERSVILLE), CASA MONTEGO, Reggae & More with DJ
Karaoke
Frankie J
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW, Star Stained
(SEE AD PG.10)
VILLAGE PIZZA (DOWNTOWN ATHENS), Matt CROSSROADS, Illicit Ties and Rearview Ghosts
Prater
DIAMONDS, Thad and Company
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Dave EL HERRADURA, Edgar
Anderson
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, Ian Thomas &
3RD BASE GRILL (SOUTH PARKWAY), Marge His Band
Loveday (8pm)
AMERICAN LEGION POST 176, Karaoke w/ Karaoke w/ Howie and HDK
JimboDJ
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Open Mic
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Pla’station
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW, Songwriter’s Jam HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Dave Anderson/J
(SEE AD PG.10)
Curly Band
COPPERTOP, Bike Night w/ Live Music
LEE ANN’S, Full Circle
(SEE AD PG.13)
GLASS’S COCKTAILS & GRILL (DECATUR), LONE GOOSE, Dawn Osborne Band
Karaoke w/ Lewis
LOWE MILL, Concerts on the Dock
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VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Partner’s Cabaret
Show
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, We 3 Kings
THE BRICKHOUSE (PROVIDENCE) (SEE AD
PG.11), EZELL
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Trey and Keith
special guest
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, The Mumbles
(New Orleans)
Saturday, October 15
JimboDJ
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Taylor and Friends
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW (SEE AD PG.10),
Open Mic Night
CROSSROADS, KUSH
DIAMONDS, The Breakers
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, Neon
Grasshopper, Andy Asteroids & Andreza
Square One
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Bar Flies
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Seducing Alice
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Crush
LONE GOOSE, Jim Cavendar and the Rolling Jazz
Review
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Black Label
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Cheezee
THE PATIO ON 2ND (DECATUR), Black Dog
Saint
special guest
Sunday, October 16
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, EZELL
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, Rolling Jazz
Revue
Mercenaries
LOWE MILL, Lowe Mill Arts & Music Festival
SAM & GREG’S, Chip Gulbro
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Karaoke w/ DJ
Brandon Mac
Monday, October 17
Karaoke w/ Lewis
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Open Mic w/
Marge
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Acoustic Open Mic
Karaoke
Tuesday, October 18
BAUMHOWER’S OF HUNTSVILLE, Dave
Anderson (6-9)
(SEE AD PG.13)
CROSSROADS, Buckethead w/ Lynx
Karaoke w/ Lewis
THE VALLEY PLANET
LEE ANN’S, Waylon and Willie
MAC’S SPORTSBAR AND STEAKHOUSE
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Open Mic w/
Marge Loveday
Matt Prater
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Dave
Anderson
3RD BASE GRILL (SOUTH PARKWAY), Robby
Eichman (8pm)
JimboDJ
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW, Songwriter’s
Jam (SEE AD PG.10)
COPPERTOP, Bike Night w/Chaos (SEE AD
PG.13)
FINNEGAN’S PUB, Bourbon & Shamrocks
Karaoke w/ Lewis
GRID IRON GRILL (NEW HOPE), Open Mic
Night
Kozmic Mama
Solo artists
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Rudy Mockabee
OUR PLACE (DECATUR), Bike Night w/ Live
Music
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Chris Cook
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Dusty and Gilby
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Open Mic
BANDITO BURRITO (MADISON) , Marge
(SEE AD PG.13)
BAUMHOWER’S OF HUNTSVILLE, Clay O’Dell
(6-9)
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Elvis Moonshine
CROSSROADS, Renegade workshop
DIAMONDS, Bike Night w/Live Music
Karaoke w/ Lewis
GRID IRON GRILL (NEW HOPE), Open Mic/ Live
Acoustics
HALF TIME BAR AND GRILL, Karaoke w/ Bubba
Rocket
HOPPER’S, Lil’ Ed
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Lance Almon
Smith
LEE ANN’S, Mary Kathern Samples
Karaoke
Karaoke
VILLAGE PIZZA (DOWNTOWN ATHENS), Barry
Kay
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Open Mic
THE VALLEY PLANET
Friday, October 21
The Mercy Band
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Hashbrown
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Underdogs
CASA MONTEGO, Reggae & More with DJ
Frankie J
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW, Larry, Peggy and
Jerry (SEE AD PG.10)
COPPERTOP, Thad and Company
(SEE AD PG.13)
CROSSROADS, Steel Magnolia w/ special guest
Elenowen
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, Abstract
Artimus, Fargo, Oto Benga
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Proton Joe
Kilborn Alley Blues Band
KNUCKLEHEADS, Jason Albert Band
LEE ANN’S, Pla’station
LONE GOOSE, Marge at Large
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Partners Cabaret
Show
THE BRICK (DECATUR), The Strangers
THE BRICKHOUSE (PROVIDENCE) , EZELL
(SEE AD PG.11)
THE STATION, Crush
Karaoke
special guest
JimboDJ
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Dawn Osborne
(SEE AD PG.10)
COPPERTOP, Merriman (SEE AD PG.13)
CROSSROADS, Boombox w/ special guest
White Noise and Grown Folks Band
Square One
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Groove
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Black Eyed Susan
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LONE GOOSE, CrackerJacks
SAMMY T’S MUSIC HALL, Colt Ford
Karaoke
THE BRICK (DECATUR), We Three Kings
THE PATIO ON 2ND (DECATUR), Full Circle
THE STATION, Jason Albert Band
special guest
DJ Brandon Mac
Sunday, October 23
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Lisa Adler
Mercenaries
#092911101911
the end!
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
13
The Single Guy:
Communi-date
by Aaron Hurd
Girls and Their Guilt!
O
kay ladies, I need to address something you all
do and I have no clue why. Not only WHY, but
WHY you do this when it’s way too late. I guess
this is one major area where guys are wired differently
than girls, and I must say, I think the guys are wired right
on this one. What am I talking about exactly? Your guilt
and your timing!
Let me explain. How many of you have been asked
out by a guy you just are not interested in? Or maybe
you have gone out a few times and just are not “feeling
the spark.” What do you do? Most of you will start
ignoring the texts and avoiding the phone calls. We all
do that. However, after a few weeks or so, you start
feeling guilty and think you need to say something.
Guess what? You don’t! We get the clue pretty quickly
and most of the time have already forgotten about you
and moved on. It drives me crazy when a girl feels the
need to say something. I don’t get it. I know guys are
famous for just disappearing on you, but that is all we
do-- disappear. We don’t call you a week later to finally
give you an explanation, and if we do, congrats: You
just got drunk dialed or are a desperate booty call some
lonely night. Do not buy into this. It’s our egos and has
nothing to do with our guilt.
Let me give you a few examples that just recently
happened to me. I was chasing this really nice beautiful
girl who I mentioned a few times in past articles, and
guess what? I did not get her. Got her number, called
her, and got a, “I’m busy, but MAYBE I will call you
back.” When I heard the magic word “maybe,” I pretty
much knew I was getting dissed. No biggie--you win
some, you lose some. I moved on and guess what? I
disappeared. Three weeks later she decides to call me
back. Three weeks later!!! I gave her the benefit of
the doubt and asked her to lunch to which she replied,
“I was going to tell you, I am not looking to date. Do
not take it personally, but I do not feel right doing that.”
Well, then, “why the hell did you call me?” I was gone.
I disappeared the first time I got message. Why call me
JUST to diss me again? And she has the nerve to say,
“I was going to tell you.” So you rehearsed turning me
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VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
down for 3-weeks!?! Does that not sound stuck up and
pathetic? I know she thought she was being sweet, but
she really was just trying to clear her conscience so she
could walk a way the better person. That did not work
for me.
Not convinced? How about this one: Met a sweet girl at
an event I was working. I asked her if she would let me
take her out to lunch or dinner sometime. She said yes
with no hesitation. I was excited and got her number to
set up a date and time. She even gave me her schedule
for the week. I called her to set a date and time, but got
no answer and no returned phone call all week. THEN,
that Friday I got a text that says “Sorry for not getting
back to you sooner. I have been busy.” I replied “I hear
you,” basically saying I got the hint, thanks. We’ve all
used that one, but when I use it, it is a day later, not a
whole week later. Too late, babe! You may have cleared
your guilt, but you look ridiculous to us guys.
I know you are thinking, “Well, better than just
disappearing,” like we guys do. If I feel bad and really
care about the girl’s feelings, I am going to tell her
straight up and sooner rather than later that it just is not
going to work. I am not going to disappear or keep her
on the hook, and once the guilt sinks in call her to try to
make myself feel better weeks later. I would have loved
to have heard “No” from the girls the first time I called.
It would’ve saved her three weeks of rehearsal and it
would have saved me the awkward diss three weeks after
I got the hint the first time.
A friend of mine had the same thing happen. He was
actually dating a girl; they made out and had a few nice
dates. Then she disappeared. He was not happy, but he
got the hint. About two weeks later she sent him a text
that said, “I just am not feeling the sparks.” Really? No
Sh*t! He got the hint when two weeks went by with no
word from her. It hurt him all over again. Not cool,
ladies!
So my question to you is: Why so late? Are you checking
to see if something better comes along before you really
cut the guy? Why else would you wait so long? Is it so
you have the last word as the one who turned him down,
or are you missing the attention? If you’re doing it to
seem “nice” and make yourself feel better, why not do
it sooner rather than later, after you avoid the dude for
weeks? Enlighten me and the guys, ladies!
We would love to know the answer. Email me at
[email protected]
THE VALLEY PLANET
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
Thursday, September 29
The Butterfly House Nature Center will be at
the Huntsville Botanical Gardens through
September 30th. www.hsvbg.org
Lifetree Café will have To Heaven and Back,
an exclusive interview with the author of
the NY Times bestseller Heaven Is For Real at
6:30pm. Lifetree Café is located at Latham
United Methodist Church, 109 Weatherly Road
in Huntsville. Lifetree.com or 256-881-4089
There will be Free Country Line Dance Blow
Out at 7pm at The New Wild Horse, 2021 Golf
Road in Huntsville. 256-489-3689
The Carnegie Visual Arts Center presents
the exhibit The Music Lives On - Folk Song
Traditions Told by Alabama Artists, September
13th through November 3rd 2011.
www.carnegiearts.org
The Lawrence County Arts Council announces
a call to artists for a juried photography
exhibit entitled Sights of Lawrence County. The
exhibit will be on display at Art Inspirations of
the Valley beginning in September and ending
October 31, 2011. The exhibition is open to all
photographers18 years of age or older residing
in the United States. www.lawrencecountyarts.
com, 256-905-0700.
The Exhibit, Steve Armstrong – Automata will
be at the Tennessee Valley Museum of Art, in
Tuscumbia now through October 28th.
www.ttvaa.org
The Huntsville Botanical Gardens will have
Treehouses with a Splash Debut. It will be on
display until September 30th. www.hsvbg.org
Andres Lara will lecture at UAHuntville for the
Hispanic Heritage Celebration. She will address
UAHuntsville Honors Forum students at 11am in
Frank Franz Hall room 138m then at 7:30pm;
she will lecture in the University Center Exhibit
Hall. 256-824-6822.
Sip, Savor and Stop Cancer at Lyns will be at
5pm. It will be at Lyn’s Gracious Goodness,
2306 Whitesburg Drive in Huntsville.
Greengate School presents Sprague Theobald
at the Huntsville Public Library at 6:30pm.
www.hmcpl.org
The 2011 Huntsville/Madison County
Chamber of Commerce Fall Golf Classic will
be at the Links at Redstone Arsenal from 8am
until 12pm. www.huntsvillealabamausa.com
The Hudson Alfa Reception will be at the
Hudson Alfa Atrium, located at 601 Genome
Way in Huntsville. It will be at 5:15pm. www.
hudsonalfa.org
The Huntsville Museum of Art will have the
exhibit, American Studio Glass and Buccellati
Silver Animals. The collections will be on
continuous, rotating view in the Museum of
Art’s new wing. 256-535-4350 or
www.hsvmuseum.org
Tate Farms Cotton Pickin’ Pumpkins is
open for tours now through October 31st. The
activities include hay bale, cotton picker slides,
picking your own pumpkin and much more.
www. Tatefarmspumkins.com
Gallery near the new Williams street entrance. www.hsvmuseum.org
exhibit, Huntsville’s Own: Past, Present and
Beyond until October 2nd. 256-535-4350, www.
hsvmuseum.org
Align and Wine will be every Thursday at 6pm at
the Huntsville Museum of Art. It is Yoga Class
followed by wine and hors d’oeuvres. The class
is $15 and if staying for wine and hors d’oeuvres
please donate at least $2. http://mitziconnell.
com/align-and-wine.
Thursday Night Salsa will be at Bar 109 from
7-10:30pm. There will be a free intro to Salsa at
7pm. There is a $5 cover charge. john.morey@
QinetiQ-NA.com
There will be a concert with the Aeolians at the
Huntsville Public Library Atrium at 6pm. 256532-5940
The Huntsville Botanical Gardens will have
Scarecrow Trails now through October.
www.hsvbg.org or call 256-430-3571.
Friday, September 30
There will be a Mischief and Mayhem Tour
will be tonight at 6pm. It is a 90-minute in front
of Alabama’s Constitution Village on Gates
Avenue. Cost is $10 per person, $6 kids 12 and
under. (256) 527-2488,
www.mischiefandmayhem.biz
Around the Piano will be at the International
Baptist Church, located at 1025 Shelton Road
in Madison. It will be at 6:30pm. Singers, piano
players, listeners, enjoy an entire evening of
Gospel Songs, old and new. BBBPromos@aol.
com, 256-457-3169
There will be Country Line Dance Lesson from
7-8pm at The New Wild Horse, 2021 Golf Road
in Huntsville. 256-489-3689
Triangle Loom Weaving will be at HMCPL
Madison Branch Library,130 Plaza Blvd in
Madison from 9am until 3pm. There is an $8 fee
for materials. 256- 461-0046,
[email protected]
There will be a Painting with Photoshop Class
with My Designs and Love it Out Photography
in Studio 114, 1st floor Lowe Mill. It will be from
9am until noon. A laptop and Photoshop CS2 or
higher is required, $100 per session.
www.MY-Designs.net
Every Friday and Monday there will be a Figure
Sculpting Class with Everett Cox – Foundry at
Lowe Mill. It will be from 10:30am until 1pm.
$325 (includes all materials). everettcox@
hotmail.com
The Little Learners’ Workshop will be at
10:30pm at the Huntsville-Madison Public
Library. It will be every Friday until October
28th. hmcpl.org
There will be a 2011 Washington Update with
Senator Sessions at the Von Braun Center at
7:30pm.
The Huntsville Chamber Music Guild presents
the Ariel Quartet at Trinity United Methodist
Church at 7:30pm. www.hcmg.us
The Huntsville Museum of Art will have
the exhibit, Sally Johnson: Projections &
Reflections until October 1st. 256-535-4350,
www.hsvmuseum.org
There will be a Figure Sculpting Class at the
Lowe Mill Foundry. www.lowemill.net
THE VALLEY PLANET
ATLANTA
October 1, Bryan Ferry, Chastain Park Amphitheatre
October 1, Weird Al Yankovik, Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre
October 1-2 Taylor Swift, Philips Arena
October 3, Joe Jonas and Jay Sean, The Tabernacle
October 8, Toby Keith, Aaron’s Amphitheatre
October 12, Cindy Lauper and Dr. John, Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre
October 14, Duran Duran, Chastain Park Amphitheatre
October 15, Little Big Town, Fox Theatre
October 16, Adele, Fox Theatre
October 20, Enrique Iglesias Tickets w/ Pitbull and Prince Royce, Gwinnett Center
October 22, Sugarland, Philips Arena
October 28, Jay-Z and Kanye West, Philips Arena
BIRMINGHAM
October 1, Cashman, Verizon Amphitheatre
October 29, Steve Harvey, BJCC Arena
HUNTSVILLE
September 30, Little Big Town, Crossroads Music Hall
September 30, Jim Parker’s Songwriters Series, VBC Playhouse
October 7, Young Jeezy, Ace Hood, and Roscoe Dash, Von Braun Center Arena
October 21, Jim Parker’s Songwriters Series, VBC Playhouse
NASHVILLE
September 29, Hanson, Wildhorse Saloon
September 30, Weird Al Yankovik, Ryman Auditorium
October 1-2, Wilco, Ryman Auditorium
October 2, 3 Doors Down, Theory of a Deadman, The Woods Amphitheater at Fontanel
October 3, KD Lang, Ryman Auditorium
October 6, The B52’s, Wildhorse Salon
October 7, Widespread Panic, The Woods Amphitheater at Fontanel
October 7, Keb’ Mo’, Ryman Auditorium
October 10, Adele, Ryman Auditorium
October 14, Casting Crowns, Bridgestone Arena
October 17, The Goo Goo Dolls, Ryman Auditorium
October 19, Aretha Franklin, Ryman Auditorium
October 22, Peter Frampton, Ryman Auditorium
TUSCALOOSA
September 30, Widespread Panic, Tuscaloosa Amphitheatre
October 7, Jill Scott, Tuscaloosa Amphitheatre
October 13, Pretty Lights, Tuscaloosa Amphitheatre
October 14, 3 Doors Down, Theory of a Deadman, Tuscaloosa Amphitheatre
October 16, ZZ Top, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Tuscaloosa Amphitheatre
There will be a free astronomy observing
The Friends of Retrievers Rescue Yard Sale at the planetarium and observatory in
will be at 7:30pm at 213 Oakwood Avenue in Monte Sano State Park at 7pm. Bring
Huntsville.
your telescope or use ours! www.vbas.com
Moody Mondays will have a video golf
tournament every Thursday at 6:30pm. The
cost to play is $10 per person. 256-539-9945
exhibit Huntsville Photographic Society
Members Showcase.This is free. These beautiful
works can be found in the Prozan Community
REGIONAL CONCERTS
There will be a Dance Party: Molly’s Benefit
for the Montessori school of Huntsville.
Admission is $5-$100 Sliding scale. It will be
at 7pm at the Flying Monkey Theatre. www.
flyingmonkeyarts.org
#092911101911
Jim Parker’s Songwriter’s Series will be at the
VBC Playhouse. Performers will be Georgia
Middleman, Jim Photoglo, Gary Burr with Special
Guest Matt Prater, with host Jim Parker. www.
jimparkermusic.com
The Flying Monkey Arts Center will have Your
Yoga with Casey every Saturday in October.
The intermediate class is at 9:45-11am. It is $14
a session or $45 for a 4 class pass. 256-6797143, www.flyingmonkeyarts.org
The Huntsville Ghost Walk now adds a Haunted
Trolley Tour every Saturday night beginning at
6pm. Tickets are $12 for adults, $10 for kids 12
and under and tickets should be purchased in
advance at Harrison Brothers Hardware This
September 30-October 2
one hour tour takes visitors past the old hanging
The Huntsville High Theatre presents Why I tree, a forgotten graveyard, an abandoned school,
Became a Pirate. Performance times are Friday and much more. www.huntsvilleghostwalk.com
at 7:00pm, Saturday at 10am and 2pm, and
Sunday at 2pm. www.hhspanthertheater.com
The Alabama A&M Bulldogs vs. University of
Arkansas Pine Bluff football game will be at the
The Disturbia Haunted House will be open Lewis Crews Stadium, at Alabama A&M at 6pm.
this weekend and all weekends in October. It www.aamusports.com
is located at 1918 N. Memorial Parkway in
Huntsville. Tickets are $20 or $30 for VIP no There will be a Contra Dance in the gym of Faith
waiting tickets.
Presbyterian Church. There will be live music
www.disturbiahauntedhouse.com
Special Events Dance Series presents Elixir with
Nils Fredland. It is from 8:00pm until 11:00pm.
The 21st Annual North Alabama Scottish Lessons begin at 7:30pm. Admission is $10 and
Festival & Highland Games will be at 9am at $7 for students, children under 12 are free. 256Goose Pond Amphitheatre in Scottsboro.
837-0656. http://secontra.com/NACDS.html
www.cityofscottsboro.com
The Schoolhouse 5k and 1 Mile Fun Run will be
The Heritage Quilters of Huntsville Fanfare in downtown Huntsville at 8am.
2011 Quilt Show will be at the Von Braun
Centers East Hall I and II.
The Madison Street Festival will be in
downtown Madison at 8:30am.
Saturday, October 1
The Coffee Tree Books and Brew will have The Madison City Farmers Market will be every
a Market Place every Saturday from 2-4pm. Saturday from 8am until 12pm, until October 22nd.
There will be various vendors will be there. It will be at 1282 Hughes Road in Madison.
coffeetreebnb.com,
256-880-6464. (See ad pg.10)
There will be an Artist Market at the Flying
Monkey Arts Center from noon until 4pm.
The Huntsville Ghost Walk will begin at the Admission is free. It will be every Saturday. There
Harrison Brothers Hardware Store promptly at will be art, jewelry, vintage clothing, records, and
6 pm. It will be every Saturday through October. more interesting things for sale inside.
Admission is $8.00 for adults and $6.00 for www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
children 12 and under.
www.huntsvilleghostwalk.com
events cont. on pg.16
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
15
events cont. from pg.15
The Huntsville Symphony Orchestra presents,
Classical Series, An Opening Night - A Warm
Welcome at 7:30pm. It will be at the VBC
Concert Hall. www.hso.org
The 16th Annual Southern Hospitality
Marching Festival will be at 9am at the JP
Cain Stadium, located at Karl Prince Road in
Hartselle, Alabama.
The Holy Sprit Fun Run will be at Holy Spirit
Catholic School at 10am.
There will be a Relief Printmaking: Linoleum
Block with Brian Walker at the Green Pea
Press in Studio 122 at Lowe Mill from 11am3pm. The cost is $45. It will also be offered on
October 8th. www.lowemill.net
The 6th Annual Still Serving Veterans Golf
Tournament will be at Cherokee Ridge Golf
Course at 8am.
Bailey Cove Classics Book Club: The
Bhagavad Gita will be at the Bailey Cove
Branch Library at 1409 Weatherly Plaza from
10-11am. 256 881-0257, [email protected]
The Bollywood Film Series will be at the
HMCPL Madison Branch Library 130 Plaza
Blvd, in Madison from 6-8pm. 256- 461-0046,
[email protected]
Tuesday, October 4
Face2Face Improv will be at Sam and Greg’s
Pizzeria Gelateria, every Tuesday. Admission is
$5. It will be at 7:30pm. www.face2faceimprov.
com
October 1-2
IMP presents the play, A Year with Frog and
Toad. It will be at Lee High School. Tickets
are $12 for adults, $10 for students and $8 for
children. www.imphuntsville.org
(See ad pg.12)
The American Association of University
Women will meet at 5:30pm at Covenant
Presbyterian Church. Reservations are required
for dinner ($16; $15 vegetarian), due September
30th. 256-880-8643, [email protected].
Hoop Classes 101 with Chrisha of Circle
Motion Hoops will be at the Flying Monkey
Theatre from 6pm - 7:15pm, every Tuesday.
The cost is $15 for a single class and $60- for
a five class card. Hoops will also be available
to purchase. 229-630-2508 or go to, www.
Sunday, October 2
Zydeco and Cajun dance lessons are taught
every Sunday from 6 to 8pm at the Eagles
Lodge located at Bob Wallace and 10th Street.
Partners are not required. Dance lessons start off
the evening and are taught in the round robin
style. [email protected]
The Dance Club presents the best in ballroom
dancing every Tuesday night at Roller Time
skating rink, 707 Arcadia Circle with free lessons
(East and West Coast Swing) beginning at
7:30pm and dancing continuing until 10:15pm.
The cost is $5 for regular and $3 for students.
[email protected]
The Huntsville Literary Association will have a
Wine & Cheese and Shakespeare Party. http://
hlahsv.org
Bizarre and Unique Curiosities will be at Burritt
on the Mountain from 9am until 5pm. There
will be a variety of collectables on display in the
Burritt Mansion. This exhibit will be now through
October 30th. www.burrittonthemountain.com
Magic 1: Mystic Fun Close-up Magic
Performances presented by Russell Davis
Magic will be at 8pm and 10pm. It will be at the
Flying Monkey Arts Center. Admission is $10.
www.flyingmonkey.org
The 7th Crow Mountain Hill Climb will be at
Jackson County Road 33 between Scottsboro
and Stevenson of US Hwy 72.
The Film Co-op monthly workshop will meet
in Don’s Studio (Studio 264, 2nd Floor) at the
Lowe Mill from 2-4pm. Admission is free. www.
filmcoop.org
The Dixie Derby Girls -Post Season Interleague
Bout Pink vs. Black will be at Roller Time at
7pm.
Monday, October 3
The Monaco Theatre will have Movies for
Moms every at 11am. It is designed to provide
mothers with infants an opportunity to see one
of the latest movie releases at a great value.
www.monacopicturesusa.com (See ad pg.17)
There will be a Gallery Show Exhibit featured
artists from Alabama A&M at Sam and Greg’s
Pizzeria until November 3rd.
www.artshuntsville.org
The Huntsville Art League will have Figure
Drawing Group (non-nude), every Monday
from 9 am until noon at the HAL Gallery. http://
huntsvilleartleague.org
The Exhibit, Documenting World War I & II will
be at the Tennessee Valley Museum of Art, in
Tuscumbia now through November 11th. www.
ttvaa.org
There will be a Women’s Mountain Bike Ride
every Monday at 5:30pm. It leaves from the
Biker’s parking lot. Beginners are welcome.
www.bicyclesetc.us
The Hispanic Heritage Celebration at Main:
Spanish Foreign Film Series- The Motorcycle
Diaries (2004) will be at 6pm at the HuntsvilleMadison Public Library.
The Invest in a Girl Celebration will be at the
Heritage Club at Bridgestreet from 6-8pm.
The cost for the event $50.
The Huntsville Has It! YP Expo will be at the
Lowe Mill Arts and Entertainment. It will be
from 5:30-8pm. Tickets are $10 in advance or
$15 at the door.
www.huntsvillealabamausa.com
There will be a Wednesday Night Road
Ride every Wednesday at 5pm. It leaves from
Bicycles Etc. It is a 27-30 mile one climb, usually
2 groups form. A helmet and light are required.
www.bicyclesetc
The 1st Floor at Lowe Mill will have Joomla!
Classes with Rooster Tail Designs at 6:45pm.
It will be offered the first four Wednesdays in
October. $50/Class/$150/Four Classes (Paid in
Advance) 256-503-0718,
www.theroostertail.com.
The K.I.D. Collective Artist Critique will be in
Studio 204 Lowe Mill. It is from 7-9pm and is
free admission. Open to all visual artists. Bring
an open mind. 256-509-6545.
There will be a Peer Critique every Wednesday
at 7pm at the HAL Gallery.
http://huntsvilleartleague.org
The Denise Onwere Gallery Paint ‘n
Homeschoolers Class will be in Studio 314, at
Lowe Mill. It will be $35 if purchased per class,
ages 8-15 years. It will be every Wednesday and
Friday through the rest of the year. 256 -3220184, www.deniseonweregallery.com
Thursday, October 6
The movie Glory will be showing at the
Princess Theatre in Decatur at 7pm. www.
princesstheatre.org
The 1st Floor at Lowe Mill will have Rooster Tail
Graphic Designs at 5:45pm. It will be offered
every Thursday in October. $20/Class/$60/Four
Classes (Paid in Advance) 256-503-0718,
www.theroostertail.com
16
#092911101911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
THE VALLEY PLANET
There will be a concert with the Mambo Gris
Gris at the Huntsville Public Library Atrium at
6:30pm. 256-532-5940
Lifetree Café will have “Amazing Grace” at
6:30pm. Lifetree stories dig into the big and little
stuff that shapes our lives. It is located at Latham
United Methodist Church, 109 Weatherly Road
in Huntsville. Lifetree.com or 256-881-4089
The Madison County Democratic Women will
meet at Huntsville’s Downtown Holiday Inn at
11:30am. Lunch reservations are $20. marilyn.
[email protected] or 256- 536-2701
The Huntsville Christian Women’s Connection
meeting and luncheon will be at 11am at the
Huntsville Country Club. The cost is $15. It will
feature October Fair and Auction and Music by
Bob and Leo Larkin. 256-837-8286
www stonecroftministries.org.
Friday, October 7
The First Friday Arts Fest will be at the
Huntsville Art League Gallery and Visual Arts
Center. HAL is combining its various Receptions
into one monthly blowout! It will be from 58pm. There will be free food and drink.
www.huntsvilleartleague.org
The Beautiful but Strange, art reception for
Nolan Cash will be at the 3rd Floor Exhibition
Area Lowe Mill. It is free admission. www.
lowemill.net
The Flying Monkey Theatre will have Monkey
Speak at 8pm. Admission is $5. Monkeyspeak
is an exciting spoken word open-mic night,
held the first Friday of every month. www.
Lunch & Learn at the Carnegie Visual Arts
Center in Decatur will be from noon until 1pm.
The speaker will be Phillip Ratliff, the Director of
Education at the Vulcan Park and Museum and
curator of the exhibit. It is free to the public, but
reservations are encouraged because of limited
seating. 256-341-0562, www.carnegiearts.org
October 7-8
The Tennessee Valley Old Time Fiddler’s
Convention will be at the Athens State
University in Athens, Alabama.
October 7-9
Fantasy Playhouse presents Arthur and
the Magic Sword at the Von Braun Center
Playhouse. www.letthemajicbegin.org
Saturday, October 8
The 50th Anniversary of the Peace Corps
Celebration honoring the Peace Corps and its
staff, volunteers and returned volunteers will
take place at Madison Dublin Park at 9am, at
Huntsville Big Spring Park at 10:30am.
256-882-1706 The Alabama A&M Homecoming Parade will
be in downtown Huntsville at 9am.
The Alabama A&M Bulldogs vs. Mississippi
Valley State University football game will be at
the Lewis Crews Stadium, at Alabama A&M at
1pm. www.aamusports.com
There will be a Build a Moon Rock Workshop
at the US Space and Rocket Center.
It will be at 10:30am and 2:30pm.
www spacecamp.org
The 2nd Annual Asperger Connection Poker
Run will begin at 11am at Black Water Hattie’s
in Huntsville. The cost is $10 per rider and $5
for passengers. www.aspergerconnection.org
The Make a Wish Foundation Run for
Wishes 2011 will be at 2pm at the Village of
Providence.
Familypalooza will be at the Village of
Providence from 10am until 4pm. This fun
and FREE community event is for all families
in the Huntsville area. All proceeds from the
day benefit Hope Place and Crisis Services of
THE VALLEY PLANET
www.rocketcitymom.com/
Crews Stadium, at Alabama A&M at 6:30pm.
www.aamusports.com
The Huntsville PC User Group Meeting
will be at the Thomas W. Davidson Senior
Center. The speaker will be Ron Schmitz
with Windows special interest group at
9:15 am.
www.hpcug.com, 256-830-2232.
Meet and Greet with artists from the Alabama
A&M Art Department. It will be at 5pm at Sam
and Greg’s Pizzeria. It is hosted by the Arts
Council. www.artshuntsville.org.
North Alabama.
familypalooza Monday, October 10
The Hispanic Heritage Celebration at Main:
Spanish Foreign Film Series- The Biutiful
(2010) will be at 6pm at the Huntsville-Madison
Public Library.
Tuesday, October 11
The Bailey Cove Morning Book Club: Running the Books will be at the HMCPL
Bailey Cove Branch Library from 10-11am.
256-881-0257, [email protected]
October 11-12
Sandy Hackett’s Rat Pack Show will be at the
Merrimack Hall at 2pm and 7:30pm. www.
merrimackhall.com
The Alabama A&M Bulldogs vs. Texas
Southern football game will be at the Lewis
#092911101911
The Tennessee Valley Civil War Round Table:
“The Atlanta Campaign: Part 1, Ringgold Gap to
Kennesaw Mountain,” will be at the Elks Lodge,
725 Franklin, North entrance in Huntsville. It will
be at 6:30pm. It is free to the public. 256-5395287
Pretty Lights is hosting a show at the
Tuscaloosa Amphitheater
to
benefit
the Tuscaloosa Disaster Relief Fund. The event
will feature performances by Pretty Lights
and special guests STS9 and Big Gigantic. www.
givetuscaloosa.com Lifetree Café will have “Facing a Terminal
Illness” at 6:30pm. Lifetree stories dig into
the big and little stuff that shapes our lives. It
is located at Latham United Methodist Church,
109 Weatherly Road in Huntsville. Lifetree.com
or 256-881-4089
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
Knitting between the Lines Book Club: Think
Twice will be at the HMCPL Bailey Cove Branch
Library from 6-7pm. 256- 881-0257, [email protected]
October 13-15
The 21st Annual Alabama Charity
Championship Horse Show will be in Decatur,
Alabama at the Morgan County Celebration
Arena. www.asha.net.
Friday, October 14
The Father Daughter Purity Ball will be at the
Historic Depot Roundhouse from 6-8pm. It is
for ages 12-16 and the cost is $35
Sci-Quest, Hands-on Science Center will host
Parents’ Night Out from 5:30 until 9pm. This
event is for children ages 4-12. Admission is $20
for the first child and $15 for each additional
child in the same household. 256-837-0606,
www.sci-quest.org.
October 14-15
The 7th annual “Global Voices Summit” will be
at Trinity United Methodist Church on Airport
Road. Women from across the U.S. and a dozen
foreign countries will gather together to explore
17
Digital Madison will be at the HMCPL
Madison Branch Library from 6:30-7:45pm.
256 461-0046, [email protected]
Bishop. It will be at 5pm at the Church of the
Nativity, 208 Eustis Ave. www.nativity.dioala.
org, 256 533 2455.
The HudsonAlpha’s Tie the Ribbons luncheon
will be at The Jackson Center, 6001 Moquin
Drive, in Huntsville from 12-1:15pm. www.
hudsonalpha.org
The Invisible, fundraiser for Downtown
Rescue Mission will be at the 2nd Floor
Connector Gallery at the Lowe Mill. It will be
from 4-7pm. www.lowemill.net
Art with a Twist will be at the Huntsville
Museum of Art from 5:30-8:30pm. www.
hsvmuseum.org
Light the Night Walk will be at Bridgestreet
Towne Center from 6:30-8:30pm. (205) 9890098. It is a fundraiser for The Leukemia &
Lymphoma Society.
The 37th Annual Taste of Huntsville will be at
the Von Braun Center at 5:30pm. Tickets are
$30 in advance or $35 at the door.
October 20-21
Etta May; as Dr. Etta, Family Specialist will be
at Merrimack Hall at 7:20pm. Tickets are $30.
www.merrimackhall.com
Friday, October 21
Jim Parker’s Songwriter’s Series will be at the
VBC Playhouse. Performers will be
Angela Kaset, Michelle Malone, Will Kimbrough
w/ special guest Carter Hamrick and host Jim
Parker. www.jimparkermusic.com
ways to make positive changes in the lives of
women suffering from poverty, poor nutrition,
economic disadvantages, sexual exploitation,
and oppression.
Thursday evening, October 13th, the Kate
Campbell Benefit Concert in Trinity’s New
Room, will kick off the 2-day event, and a
cake celebration to honor Global Women’s
10th Anniversary. www.globalwomengo.org.
October 14-16
Fantasy Playhouse presents Arthur and
the Magic Sword at the Von Braun Center
Playhouse. www.letthemajicbegin.org
Astronomy Day will be at the Von Braun
Astronomical Society Planetarium from 110pm. There will be a grand opening of newly
renovated facilities, family fun all day, a special
guest at 7:30pm and telescope viewing (weather
permitting). www.vbas.org, 256-684-9036.
There will be a Free Health Screening and Fair
from 10:30am-2pm at the 1st Floor Connector
Lowe Mill. Admission is free. There will be free
Blood Pressure, Blood Sugar, Total Cholesterol,
Bone Density and other tests. www.lowemill.net
The Youth Studio: Print Your Own T-Shirt with
Rachel Lackey will be at the Green Pea Press,
studio 122 Lowe Mill. The cost is $50 and is for
ages 15-18. It will be from 1-4pm. It will also be
October 22nd. Start to finish printing of your
own t-shirt with photo emulsion process and
non-toxic water based inks. www.lowemill.net
The Peace Corps author’s book signings will
be at Huntsville Earth Fare from 10:30am to
12:30 pm. 256-882-1706
The 7th Annual Liz Hurley Ribbon Run will be
from 8am until 12pm in downtown Huntsville.
www.huntsvillehospital.org
The 4th Annual Holy Family School Golf
Tournament will be today at 7am. It will be at
18
Colonial Golf Course. www.holy-family-school.
com or 256-479-2440
There will be a Contra Dance in the gym of Faith
Presbyterian Church. There will be live music
by David Coe and friends and calling by Jane
Ewing Baggott and Elsie Peterson and calling
by Chrissy Davis-Camp. It is from 7:30pm until
10:30pm. Lessons begin at 7pm. Admission is
$7 and $4 for students, children under 12 are
free. 256-837-0656. www secontra.com/NACDS.
html
Fri. @ 5, at Carnegie Visual Arts Center will
be from 5-7pm. Appetizers and complimentary
beverages will be served. Suggested admission
is $5 for Carnegie members and $15 for nonmembers. www.carnegiearts.org.
Directly
after the Fri. @ 5 at 7:15pm downstairs at The
Carnegie, Bobby Horton performs a musical
telling of the connections between music
and visual art. Because seating is limited,
reservations are recommended by calling the
Carnegie. It is $20 per person at the door. Snacks
and beverages are included.
Brasterpieces Reception/Celebration will
be at the 1st Floor Connector of Lowe Mill.
Admission is free/ donations accepted. It will be
from 6:30-9:30pm. Join us for the celebration of
this unique art breast cancer fundraiser. www.
lowemill.net
Sci-Quest’s Third Annual Mad Scientist’s Ball
will be from 5:30-9pm at Sci-Quest Hands on
Science Museum. www.sci-quest.org
The Heritage Festival will be at Burritt on the
Mountain from 10am until 4pm.
www.burrittonthemountain.com
LearningQUEST presents: Ron Harris at the
HMCPL Main Branch Library from 7-9pm. 256
532-5962
The Alabama A&M Bulldogs vs. Texas
Southern U football game will be at the Lewis
Crews Stadium, at Alabama A&M at 1pm. www.
aamusports.com
October 21-23
The 28th Annual Blount County Covered
Bridge Festival will be in Oneonta, AL.
205-274-2153
October 15-16
The Alabama Gourd Festival will be in
downtown Cullman.
www.alabamagourdsociety.org or
www.northalabama.org
Theatre Randolph presents Bad Seed, a
psychological thriller by Maxwell Anderson. It will
be at the Upper School Theatre, 4915 Garth
Road, 256-799-6163, www showtix4u.com
Sunday, October 16
The Maple Hill Cemetery Stroll will be from 24:30pm at Maple Hill Cemetery.
www.huntsvillepilgrimage.org
Monday, October 17
The Bollywood Film Series will be at the
HMCPL Madison Branch Library
130 Plaza Blvd, in Madison from 6-8pm. 256461-0046, [email protected]
Tuesday, October 18
The Intro to Intaglio: Drypoint with Tyson
Stinson Workshop will be from 6:30-9:30pm in
Studio 122 at Lowe Mill. The cost is $30. http://
greenpeapress.com
Our
Nation’s
Patriotic
Commitment:
Unwatering Vigilance will be at the VBC
from 11:30-3:30pm. The cost is $50. www.
supportwoundedwarriorsweek.org
The Tennessee Valley Civil War Round Table
will have, “The Road to Kennesaw - Sherman
and Johnston in North Georgia, May-June 1864”
Tour. The tour package includes transportation,
admission to Picket’s Mill, Kennesaw Mountain
Shuttle, Onboard Civil War Guide, two-nights
accommodations and two breakfasts. Rates
per person start at $470. 256-890-0890
The 4th Annual Halloween Costume Salsa
Party will be at the Von Braun Center from
8:30pm until 12:30am. The cost is $20. www.
salseroblanko.net
The Rocket City Short Film Festival will be
at 7pm at the Lowe Mill. Admission is $5. It is
a showcase for locally made short films. Entries
are due October 1st. www.lowemill.net
There will be a concert with Bob Gifford, flute
and Eric Wilson; pianist will accompany Christie
Weber, soprano in arias by Handel and Sir Henry
#092911101911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
Bootanica will be at the Huntsville Botanical
Gardens from 10am until 2pm. There will be
games, activities and more. www.hsvbg.org
There will be a Pumpkin Planet Workshop at
the US Space and Rocket Center.
It will be at 10:30am and 12pm. www.spacecamp.
org
The Step Out: Walk to End Diabetes will be at
Bridgestreet Town Center at 9am.
October 22-23
The Salsalabama Jam 2011 will be at the Von
Braun Center. 901-605-8246 John Morey, http://
www salseroblanko.net/salsalabamajam.html
the end!
40 Days to Promise
...Youth daring to
live their dreams
“40 Days to Promise” is a
program designed for youth
ages 18 - 21 who have great
potential as artists and are
considering pursuing art as
a possible profession/semiprofession. We want to assist
them by not making money
the reason they have to give
up on their dreams. Although
we can’t do everything, we
can at least give them a
‘boost’...hence “40 Days”, the
start of a journey. Beginning
Sept. 22nd through Oct. 31,
40 Days is holding a massive
online fundraiser for youth in
3 different genres of the arts.
At the end of 40 days each
youngster/project will divide
the funds evenly to further
their artistic efforts.
Please visit http://
www.40daystopromise.webs.
com to find out more. We
want you to be a part of this
great endeavor! Peace, Simply Tam
Help Save the
Spay/Neuter Clinic!
Please sign the petition to help save the North
Alabama Spay/Neuter Clinic from being
unjustly shut down by the Alabama State Board
of Veterinary Medical Examiners. We believe
this is a politically motivated attack.
To contribute or for more information go to our
web site at www.nalspayneuter.org.
www.change.org/petitions/save-alabamas
-non-profit-spayneuter-clinics
www.legislature.state.al.us/misc/zipsearch.html
THE VALLEY PLANET
tafe supporters.” A promo for the film follows a
Getafe fan, armed with a copy of the movie for his
viewing pleasure, as he disappears into a clinic’s
private cubicle to fulfill his donation.
by Chuck Shepherd
The medical establishment generally regards
placentas (afterbirth) as biohazardous waste, but
to New York City placenta chef Jennifer Mayer,
they are a nutrient-laden meat that can alleviate
postpartum depression and aid in breast milk production (among other so-far-unverified benefits).
Mayer typically sets up in clients’ own kitchens,
she told New York magazine for an August story.
Some placentas are “really intense, with grief or
sadness or uncertainty.” Others might be “joyful,” “big and round.” Mayer’s method: Drain
the blood, blot dry, cook for a half-hour (leaving
something resembling brisket), chop into slivers,
dehydrate overnight (rendering it jerky-like). For
a popular touch, Mayer then grinds it in a blender
and pours the powder into several dozen (one-aday) capsules.
Can’t Possibly Be True
The Learning Channel’s “Toddlers &
Tiaras” series has pushed critics’ buttons enough
with its general support of the competitive world
of child beauty pageants, but a recent episode provoked unusually rabid complaints, according to a
September New York Post report. Mother Lindsay Jackson had costumed her 4-year-old Maddy
as “Dolly Parton” -- anatomically correct (chest
and backside) Dolly Parton. The Post described
Maddy as “embarrass(ed)” at her chest when another 4-year-old pointed at her and asked, “What
is that?” (Ultimately, the judges liked Maddy -for “sweetest face.”)
Things You Didn’t Think Existed: (1)
World Record for Length of Tonsils: Justin Werner, 21, of Topeka, Kan., was certified in July
by the Guinness Book, with tonsils measuring
2.1 inches and 1.9 inches, respectively. The old
“champion” was Justin Dodge of Milwaukee. (2)
Global Competition in Dominos: The breakaway
Georgian region of Abkhazia will be the site, in
October, of the world domino championship.
(Twenty-five countries belong to the International
Domino Federation.)
Retired U.S. Army Sgt. Maj. Rob Dickerson finally received his Purple Heart this summer, four years after he was seriously wounded in
a rocket attack in Iraq and two years after he began a paperwork battle with the Army to “prove”
his injury. Recently, the Army had apologized
and mailed him the award, but it arrived C.O.D.,
leaving Dickerson to pay the $21 fee. (The Army
subsequently reimbursed Dickerson the fee, but
Dickerson said he hasn’t been able to cash the
check, in that it was erroneously made out to
“Roy Dirksen.”)
Inexplicable
Madrid’s Getafe soccer club, struggling for customers, startled Spain this summer
by commissioning a porn movie, with zombies,
hoping to attract more fans. As if that were not
quixotic enough, it then tied the movie to a campaign to solicit sperm-bank donations. Explained
the film’s producer, Angel Torres, “We have to
move a mass of fans to seed the world with Ge-
THE VALLEY PLANET
Unclear on the Concept
“Do You See the Blimp Who Robbed
You?”: In August, 400-pound Eric Kenley, 48,
won a new trial for his two New York City robbery convictions after appeals court judges realized that the police lineup that identified him was
unfair, in that he was apparently much fatter than
the other men in his lineup. The police had attempted to compensate by using larger-than-average men and by presenting them all seated, to
minimize the weight difference.
Obviously intense about potential childtrafficking, the government of Quebec, Canada,
requires strict proof of a live birth, certified by a
doctor or licensed midwife. However, the waiting
list to hire either one is long, and Heather Mattingsly went with an unlicensed midwife, whose
word the Directeur de l’etat civil declined to accept. Four months after the birth, the agency ordered Mattingsly to submit to a vaginal examination. After “calls from the media” (according to
a Montreal Gazette report) persuaded the agency
that such an exam was useless, it finally agreed,
on Aug. 26, to grant a birth certificate if Mattingsly submitted a doctor-certified copy of her prebirth ultrasound.
You’re Doing It Wrong: Jason Dean,
24, was arrested in Ringgold, Ga., in August and
charged with false imprisonment after he waited
in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, approached an
18-year-old woman and handcuffed her to himself. After her screams brought others to come
help her, Dean explained that he had been trying
for several months to get the woman to go out
with him but that she had so far refused.
A New York Times obituary for former
lead singer Jani Lane of the heavy metal band
Warrant revealed that Mr. Lane’s birth name (he
was born a year after Lee Harvey Oswald assassinated President John F. Kennedy) was John Kennedy Oswald. Rebellious musicians (Warrant’s
debut album was “Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking
Rich”) often adopt provocative stage names to
enhance their image, but Mr. Lane must be one
of the very few to have abandoned a provocative
birth name in favor of a bland one.
Least Competent Criminals
No Respect: (1) The man who approached tellers at the Eastern Bank in South
Boston on Aug. 25 eventually fled empty-handed,
but only after one teller had refused his order for
“all your money” (she told him she was “closed”)
and another had scolded him for breaking into the
front of the adjacent line and for not removing his
hoodie. (2) A man dressed as Gumby was ignored
by a 7-Eleven clerk when he tried to rob the store
in Rancho Penasquitos, Calif., on Sept. 5. The
clerk told “Gumby” not to waste his time, and
“Gumby” finally fled. The clerk had such little
respect for “Gumby” that he did not even report
the “robbery”; it came to light only when his boss
was reviewing surveillance video.
Richard Kreimer (whose appearances in “News
of the Weird” in 1991 and 2006 achieved “Classic” status earlier this year) is back, apparently
still defiantly malodorous. He recently filed four
lawsuits against NJ Transit, alleging that he has
been illegally prevented from boarding trains just
because he is homeless. (NJ Transit says his behavior and lack of hygiene irritate passengers.) A
former Kreimer lawyer told the Newark Star-Ledger in August that Kreimer virtually runs “sting”
operations, waiting for people to offend him so he
can sue. Kreimer, who tape records all his conversations, told the Star-Ledger that the lawsuits will
continue, although he looks forward to one day
being able to “close my law practice.” However,
for now, he says,
“Business is booming.”
New Frontiers in Perversion
Mennonites, a famously patriarchal,
closed-sect religion, often live in colonies such
#092911101911
as the one in Bolivia founded by a group from
Manitoba, Canada. At press time, eight men from
the colony are on trial in Santa Cruz, Bolivia, for
rapes of up to 130 women and girls from 2005
to 2009, allegedly instigated by Peter Weiber,
48, the colony’s veterinarian. Weiber supposedly
converted a cow anesthetic into an aerosol sedative that he sprayed into the victims’ open bedroom windows at night, after which he and his codefendants would enter and have their way with
the victims. According to an August dispatch in
Time magazine, the case is hampered by shamed
victims’ reluctance to testify and by the behavior
of the defendants, who have been “laughing” at
witnesses, “jok(ing) with guards,” or “fall(ing)
asleep” during the trial.
“When I get to Africa, I have to worship him,”
said Elizabeth Osei, part-time first lady of the Akwamu people of eastern Ghana, speaking of her
husband Isaac, who is the Akwamu chief. “When
I get back, he has to worship me” (because Elizabeth is the president of the couple’s New York
City taxi company, where they work 12-hour days
when they’re not Ghanian royalty). Isaac’s reign,
according to an August New York Times report,
covers several months a year and requires divinelike wisdom in adjudicating his people’s disputes.
Another New Yorker with a prestigious double
life is Mohamed Mohamed, a state transportation
bureaucrat, who recently returned to his cubicle
in Buffalo, N.Y., after nine months as prime minister of Somalia. The Buffalo News reported that
the Somali native, though shocked by the level of
the country’s dysfunction, at least got to stand up
to “terrorists, pirates and warlords” and “address
dignitaries from the United Nations.”
Cultural Diversity
The convenient Russian myth that
“beer” (up to 10 percent alcohol by volume) is a
“soft drink” will end shortly, following the enactment of restrictions signed by President Dmitry
Medvedev in July. Beer had been rapidly replacing vodka as the country’s primary alcoholic beverage, as people drank it with impunity around the
clock in public places (since they pretended they
were consuming nothing more powerful than a
“cola”).
Until recently, impoverished Indonesians sought to cure various illnesses (such as
diabetes and high blood pressure) by lying on
railroad tracks as trains approached, thus allowing electrical charges from the tracks to course
therapeutically through their bodies. A combination of anecdotal successes and dissatisfaction
with the state-operated health care system led
to the instances in which hundreds at a time lay
on the tracks, according to an August Associated
Press dispatch.
What Goes Around, Comes Around: In
February, 12 villagers from a South African shantytown allegedly burned down a pastor’s home
and killed him out of anger and fear that he was
using an “invisible penis” to seduce women. The
accused, who are due to answer for their superstition in court in September, according to African
Eye News Service, became 11 in May when one
of the men died mysteriously, and those 11 are
now terrified that the pastor’s family has placed
an active curse on them.
Latest Religious Messages
My Rules: The Aug. 6 revival spectacular in Houston, billed as a day of prayer and attended by 30,000 people at Reliant Stadium, was
also billed as a day of fasting, which apparently
took at least a few worshipers by surprise, and
Reliant’s concession stands (which were open
all day) only added to the temptation to ignore
the fast. One otherwise-devout man from San
Angelo, Texas, told the Texas Tribune that it was
OK for him to eat because of an “agreement” he
“made with God earlier.”
Defining “Smite” Down: Fed up with
the theft of Bibles from the Basilica of San Salvatore al Monte in Florence, Italy, the Franciscan
priests in charge posted signs and spoke prayers
urging the pilferer to repent. In the event that he
does not, reported London’s Daily Telegraph in
August, the prayer asked that the thief be afflicted
with “a strong bout of the (runs).”
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
Questionable Judgments
My Kids Live With a Child-Killer?
John and Kristine Cushing married and raised
two daughters, but Kristine became mentally ill
and in 1991 killed the girls as they slept. She was
hospitalized for four years and eventually monitored for 10 more. Meanwhile, John divorced her
and married Trisha, and they raised two sons, but
eventually divorced and reached a shared-custody
agreement. By 2005, Kristine had been approved
by California doctors to return to society, and
soon she and John reconnected. Understandably,
Trisha became horrified at the prospect that Kristine might relapse, in which case her and John’s
two sons would be at risk. In August, a judge in
Seattle (where John and Kristine once again cohabit), influenced by Kristine’s clean record since
her release, turned down Trisha’s request for sole
custody.
Highly Questionable: (1) German Paz,
33, was sentenced in Orlando to 15 years in federal prison in June for sexual exploitation of a
minor via the Internet. He had begun contacting
a 13-year-old girl and was using the screen name
The Delightful Deviant. (2) Gareth Shand, 6, was
welcomed into the first grade in San Antonio in
August with an immediate in-school suspension.
He is growing his hair long for a cancer-support
organization, but that puts him in violation of his
school’s dress code.
America In Decline
Direct Pipelines from the Pentagon to
U.S. Enemies: (1) A U.S. military investigation
disclosed (according to a July Washington Post report) that at least four of the eight Afghan trucking
firms involved in a $2.16 billion Pentagon contract
designed to ferry supplies to American troops are
likely to have employed subcontractors with direct
ties to the Afghan Taliban. (2) United Nations investigators revealed (according to an August New
York Times report) that about half of the U.S.-supplied weapons for Ugandan and Burundian troops
to battle the Somalian terror group al-Shabab have
ultimately wound up in al-Shabab’s hands. (The
poorly paid Ugandan and Burundian troops apparently found arms sales more profitable than fighting terrorists.)
People With Issues
Ned Nefer, 38, pushed a 6-foot mannequin along U.S. Highway 11 in June, for 65
miles from Syracuse, N.Y., to Watertown, N.Y.,
because “(The mannequin and I) really love the
outdoors.” The mannequin, Nefer said, is his wife
“Teagan,” who came to Nefer merely as a head but
for whom Nefer constructed a body and “married”
in 1986. Said a Watertown social services worker,
to the Watertown Daily News, “I wouldn’t classify (Nefer) as dangerous at all. He seemed quite
happy in his own little world.” Nefer’s “first” wife
passed away, and it is possible, the social services
lady said, that this is his way of dealing with the
loss.
Least Competent Criminals
Charged with crimes that could send
him to prison for life, Gary LaBon, 50, nonetheless chose to defend himself at trial and told the
jury in August that any kidnapping, rape or assault he might have committed on the 69-year-old
woman in Hawthorne, Calif., in 2009 was “selfdefense.” LaBon insisted that he was in fear for
his life because the woman was a “gang member.”
Judge Kathryn Solorzano took the unusual step of
advising the jury to “disregard most of what Labon said during his argument,” according to the
Daily Breeze of Torrance, Calif. (Jurors quickly
convicted LaBon on all counts, and he awaits sentencing.)
Send your Weird News to
[email protected]
or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.
COPYRIGHT 2006
CHUCK SHEPHERD
DISTRIBUTED BY
UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111;
(816) 932-6600
19
I Can’t Even Dance in My Dreams
Sci-Fi Review: For All Mankind
by Thomas V. Ress
Y
by Matthew Kresal
ou know the recurring dream you have where you forgot a college class until the day of the
final exam? Well, I have a version of that dream that is even more frightening.
had originally planned on reviewing the recently released science fiction/horror movie Apollo 18,
but after reading about it, I’ve decided to take a sidestep into the land of science fact this time
around. That sidestep has a connection to Apollo 18’s inspiration: the real life Apollo missions.
Those voyages to the Moon have been covered in many documentaries in the past forty years, but in
my mind one film covered them better then any other. That would be the Academy Award-nominated
“For All Mankind,” from 1989.
I
I call it the Dance Dream. In my dream my wife and are doing something manly and testosterone-filled
like whitewater rafting down the Colorado River or skiing in the Alps when out of the blue she turns
to me and says “When we get home we’re going to take dance lessons.”
I sit bolt upright in bed, a cold sweat breaking out on my forehead. Women have no idea what impact
the words “dance lessons” have on a man. I have seen grown men reduced to cowering ruins, tears
filling their eyes as they slink forlornly into dance classes. It’s a sad sight.
One must give the film’s director, Al Reinert, a ton of credit for its success. Instead of compiling
facts about a mission and having a well known actor or actress do the narration, the film allows those
who went on the mission to tell the story. Who else is better qualified? The astronauts might not be
professional actors, but they don’t need to be. It is the power of the events they describe that is the
main reason for their presence. To tell their story visually, the film takes footage from all of the Apollo
missions (and a couple of the Gemini missions) and combines it with the words of the men who went
where no one had before (or has since) gone. As a result, it is the astronauts and their footage that are
the most powerful voice in this documentary.
For some reason, my wife, who has known me intimately for years, still thinks I can learn to dance-despite the fact that on numerous occasions I have proven her horribly wrong. Why she thinks this is
incomprehensible to me because we have in fact taken ballroom dance lessons where I demonstrated
beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was a hopeless case. “Rhythmically challenged” is I believe the
term I heard my dance instructor whisper to her. I think her delusion has something to do with the
maternal instinct. I remember her thinking she could get our son to clean his room too.
The film has proved controversial for just that reason. If
you know a bit about the subject matter, then the mixing
and matching (such as the use of footage from a Gemini
reentry as the TLI burn that sent the spacecraft to the
Moon, for example) is blatantly obvious to some. But
my own feeling is that the mixing was necessary.
Actually, I can dance, sort of. I have perfected two varieties: slow and fast. For my slow dance, I hold
my wife and totter stiffly back and forth like Boris Karloff doing Frankenstein. Smooth.
My fast dance is much more interesting. I like this one better because I am not inhibited by actually
having to touch my dance partner which leaves me free to improvise, much to my wife’s chagrin. I’m
on my own, mixing up my moves, without having to worry about stomping on her feet and tripping
over her shoes. Over the years, I’ve perfected my fast dance and now have an established repertoire of
moves that dazzle all who behold me. I start out with a little shoulder sway, moving semi-rhythmically
from side to side like I’m dodging invisible knives being thrown at me. Then I shift my weight from
one foot to the other, kind of like Mike Tyson warming up for a fight. Every now and then I’ll raise my
hands up to my shoulders, just to add some zing to my routine. If I really get into it, I’ll hunch over and
execute a move that looks remarkably like a bear with stomach cramps. But that only happens when
there is an open bar. Which, come to think of it, is the only time I dance at all.
Because, in the end, does it matter if footage from Apollo
11 is followed by footage from, say, Apollo 17? What
I mean is: the film isn’t about a single mission to the
Moon. The film shows that the power of Apollo lies not
in each mission, but in the overall effect. The journeys
were very much the same, but each of the astronauts
experienced the journey in different ways. This film
is essentially about the journey of Apollo, the effect it
had on the astronauts, what they saw, and the effect that
continues to have not just on them, but on us as well.
I thought I was a pretty good dancer until a supposed friend shot a video of me in full stomach cramp
mode. Believe me, it was awful. The worst thing that ever happened to guys like me is “Dancing with
the Stars”. Now my wife watches the show and sees some guy like Lawrence Taylor or Warren Sapp,
guys who shouldn’t be able to dance, and says “If they can dance, you can too.” Which makes me
realize how dreadful I must really be. I mean, have you ever seen Lawrence Taylor dance? He looks
like he’s stumbling back into the huddle with a concussion. If she thinks he can dance, I must resemble
a man who just stepped on a fire ant nest.
So I know what will happen the next time we’re dancing at a party or a wedding. I’ll bust out my best
dance moves and as I watch the pity in her face I’ll know she’s planning to sign us up once again for
dance lessons. But I won’t care. It’s an open bar.
Following the rides, an afternoon of games
promises fun for participants and entertainment
value for bystanders. All ages can participate in
the Huffy Heave, Low-Rider Bike Limbo, Granny
Gear Race, Funky Criterium, Poker Run and Sano
Scramble Hill Climb at the family-friendly festival.
Prizes will be awarded at dinner, catered by Nothing
but Noodles, with homemade desserts to follow.
Monte Sano Fat
Tire Festival Will
Be Rockin’ and
Rollin’ Good Time
M
ountain bikers from across the southeast
will roll into Huntsville for the Monte
Sano Fat Tire Festival on Oct. 1 and 2.
The Huntsville Chapter of the Southern Off-Road
Bicycling Association is presenting the two-day
mountain biking fest for the fourth time in Monte
Sano State Park.
Day one of the festival will feature six different
mountain bike rides to accommodate every
ability, from novice to expert, because Monte
Sano Mountain is widely regarded as one of
the best areas in Alabama to find such variety
in terrain. More than 40 miles of riding trails
traverse the mountain.
Day two begins with a blueberry pancake
breakfast before the MSFTF Scavenger Race,
sending riders on a chase for the most points as
they comb the mountain for key picture spots to
record on digital cameras.
Stimulus pricing will continue through Sept.
25 with fest admission at $30 for riders and
$50 day-of. Non-riders are $20, and children
5 and under are free. Admission for all
includes catered dinner, pancake breakfast,
snacks, games, door prizes and park usage fee.
Visit sorbahuntsville.org to download a brochure
and registration form, or register online at active.
com. For more information,
e-mail [email protected].
Monte Sano Art Show Award Winners
Debra Simpson, Founder and Executive Director of the Monte Sano Art Show,
announces the following awards from the Monte Sano Art Show held
Saturday, September 17, 2011 at Monte Sano State Park.
Best of Show: Susie Garrett /First Place: Helene Fielder / Second Place: Mary Reid
Third Place: Tim Weber / Fourth Place: Yuri Ozaki
Honorable Mention: Monte Perry / Honorable Mention: Jack Rogers
Honorable Mention: Shawn Wallace / Honorable Mention: Monique Given
For All Mankind--perhaps better then anything else out
there - demonstrates the power not just of Apollo, but of
humanity in space. It features incredible footage narrated
by the men who not only filmed it but lived through it.
The film demonstrates that space exploration is about
more then rockets and budget battles: it’s about what’s
out there and what we can learn from it. As such, this is
a film that is truly “For All Mankind”.
2011 Women’s
Hang Gliding
Festival
ome fly with us! Lookout Mountain Flight
Park, located just outside of Chattanooga
Tennessee, is hosting the 2011 Women’s
Hang Gliding Festival October 27-30.
C
The Festival is ideal for both women who are
interested in seeing what hang gliding is all about
and for pilots. We want to fly with a group of female
pilots, create a comfortable and safe environment
for inactive pilots to regain their confidence, and
introduce the sky to the non-flying women in our
lives.
There will be fun flying competitions, clinics,
reduced priced training for our non-flying friends
and family, prizes, and evening festivities. Come
fly the mountain, aerotow, or get your skills up
to speed on the training hills. We want to get as
many women in the air as possible, and October is
a beautiful time of year to do it.
If you would like to learn more about hang
gliding by taking lessons or flying tandem with an
instructor, please call 706-398-3541 or 1-800-688-
5637 to reserve your flight times. In celebration
of women in flight, we are offering reduced priced
tandems and training hill classes. Just mention the
Festival to take advantage of the lower prices.
Visit www hanglide.com for more information on
our park, information about your flying options,
and Festival information.
If you are planning to fly solo or would like to
take part in clinics and fun flying tasks, please
register on our online store: estore hanglide.com.
Registration is $25 and includes an event t-shirt,
mountain solo flying, clinics, and the opening
night festivities.
While the Festival is geared towards women who
are interested in flying and women who fly, we
welcome and encourage all pilots and pilots-intraining (regardless of gender) to join us for flying,
fun, and camaraderie.
There is something for
everybody and this IS
something that you
can do. Let us show
you how beautiful and
easy flying can be.
Email fly@hanglide.
com with questions.
Monte Sano State Park Award: Amy Crews
Arch Pike Memorial Award: Guadalupe Robinson
Buffalo Rock Award: Connie Ulrich / The Little Green Store Award: Jerry Brown
Spirited Art Award: Leslie Wood / #1 Ladies Art Class Award: A.B. Word
Ruby Speed Award: David Nuttall / Founder’s Award: Vicki Wyrick
Merit Awards: Clay Binkley, Jodi Nuttall, Bill Hill, Megan Moore, Jan Havens, Barry Jackson
20
#092911101911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
THE VALLEY PLANET
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
September 29 - October 19
© Copyright 2011 Rob Brezsny
ARIES (March 21-April 19): I’ve got a challenging assignment for you. In accordance with your current astrological
omens, I am inviting you to cultivate a special kind of receptivity -- a rigorously innocent openness to experience
that will allow you to be penetrated by life’s beauty with sublime intensity. To understand the exact nature of
this receptivity, study Abraham Maslow’s definition of real listening: to listen “without presupposing, classifying,
improving, controverting, evaluating, approving or disapproving, without dueling what is being said, without
rehearsing the rebuttal in advance, without free-associating to portions of what is being said so that succeeding
portions are not heard at all.”
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Government officials in Southern Sudan are proposing to build cities in fantastic
shapes. They say that the regional capital of Juba would be recreated to resemble a rhinoceros, as seen from the air.
The town of Yambio is destined to look like a pineapple and the city of Wau will be a giraffe. I’m confused by all
this, since I know that most of the people in South Sudan live on less than a dollar a day. Is that really how they want
their country’s wealth spent? Please consider the possibility, Taurus, that there are also some misplaced priorities in
your own sphere right now. Hopefully they’re nothing on the scale of what’s happening in South Sudan, but still:
Allocate your resources with high discernment, please.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You have cosmic clearance to fall deeply, madly, and frequently in love, Gemini. In
fact, it’s OK with the gods of fate and the angels of karma if you swell up with a flood of infatuation and longing
big enough to engorge an entire city block. The only stipulation those gods and angels insist on is that you do not
make any rash decisions or huge life changes while in the throes of this stupendous vortex. Don’t quit your job,
for instance, or sell all your belongings, or dump your temporarily out-of-favor friends and loved ones. For the
foreseeable future, simply enjoy being enthralled by the lush sexy glory of the liquid blue fire.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Among the surprises spilled by WikiLeaks some months back was the revelation
that U.S. diplomats think Canadians feel “condemned to always play ‘Robin’ to the U.S. ‘Batman.’” If that’s
true, it shouldn’t be. While Canada may not be able to rival the war-mongering, plutocrat-coddling, environmentdespoiling talents of my home country America, it is a more reliable source of reason, compassion, and civility.
Are you suffering from a similar disjunction, Cancerian? Do you imagine yourself “Robin” in relationship to some
overweening “Batman”? This would be an excellent time to free yourself of that dynamic.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Enigmatology” is an infrequently-used word that means the study of puzzles and how to
solve them. I’m invoking it now to highlight the fact that you need to call on some unusual and idiosyncratic and
possibly even farfetched resources as you intensify your efforts to solve the puzzles that are spread out before you.
The help you’ve called on in the past just won’t be enough for this new round of gamesmanship. The theories and
beliefs and strategies that have brought you this far can’t take you to the next stage.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): This would not be a good time for you to read the book called The Complete Idiot’s
Guide to Enhancing Self-Esteem. In fact, it will never be the right time to read it. While it’s true that at this juncture
in your life story you can make exceptional progress in boosting your confidence and feeling positive about yourself,
you’re not an idiot and you don’t need idiot-level assistance. If there was a book called The Impish Guide to Accessing
and Expressing Your Idiosyncratic Genius, I’d definitely recommend it. Likewise a book titled The Wild-Eyed Guide
to Activating Your Half-Dormant Potential or The Brilliant Life-Lover’s Guide to Becoming a Brilliant Life-Lover.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “When I was born,” said comedian Gracie Allen, “I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a
year and a half.” I suspect you will soon be experiencing a metaphorical rebirth that has some of the power of the
event she was referring to. And so I won’t be shocked if you find it challenging to formulate an articulate response,
at least in the short term. In fact, it may take you a while to even register, let alone express, the full impact of the
upgrade you will be blessed with.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “During a game of Apocalypse against the Witchhunters,” reports Andrew_88 in
an online forum, “I authorized my Chaos Lord to throw his vortex grenade at the oncoming Cannoness and her
bodyguard. Safe to say he fluffed it and the vortex grenade scattered back on top of him. Then he proceeded to
take out my allies, the Havocs, Land Raider, and Baneblade, before disappearing, having done no damage to my
opponent.” I suggest you regard this as a helpful lesson to guide your own actions in the coming days, Scorpio. Do
not, under any circumstances, unleash your Chaos Lord or let him throw his vortex grenade at anyone. He could
damage your own interests more than those of your adversaries.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): According to my analysis of the astrological omens, it’s high time for you to
receive a flood of presents, compliments, rewards, and blessings. You got a problem with that? I hope not. I hope you
are at peace with the fact that you deserve more than your usual share of recognition, appreciation, flirtations, and
shortcuts. Please, Sagittarius? Please don’t let your chronic struggles or your cynical views of the state of the world
blind you to the sudden, massive influx of luck. Pretty please open your tough heart and skeptical mind to the bounty
that the universe is aching to send your way.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I like how astrologer Hunter Reynolds encapsulates the Capricornian imperative.
If you “can manage your ego’s erratic moods and uneven motivations well enough to offer a service with consistent
quality,” he says, “the world confers social recognition and its accompanying material advantages on you.” The
members of other signs may appear warmer and fuzzier than you, but only because you express your care for people
through a “strictness of focus,” “disciplined work,” and by being a “dependable helpmate.” This describes you at
your best, of course; it’s not easy to meet such high standards. But here’s the good news: The omens suggest you now
have an excellent opportunity to function at your very best.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Not being omniscient is a really big drag for me,” says poet Charles Harper Webb.
I sympathize with him. My life would be so much easier and my power would be so much more graceful if only I
knew everything there is to know. That’s why I’m going to be a little jealous of you in the coming weeks, Aquarius.
You may not be supremely authoritative about every single subject, but you will have access to far more intuitive
wisdom than usual, and you’ll be making extra good use of the analytical understandings you have. Bonus: You will
also be absorbing new lessons at an elevated rate.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): John Tyler was President of the United States from 1841 to 1845. Believe it or not, two
of his grandsons are still alive today. They’re Lyon Gardiner Tyler and Harrison Ruffin Tyler, born late in the life of
their father, who was born late in John Tyler’s life. I invite you to find some equally amazing connection you have to
the past, Pisces. How is your destiny linked to the long ago and faraway? I suspect you might find that distant history
will be more vital and important than usual in the coming weeks.
Homework. At least 30 percent of everything you and I know is more than half-wrong. I’m brave enough to admit
it. Are you? Describe your ignorance at FreeWillastrology.com.
I love the fall.
N
ot only do the hottest temperatures fall--well, they used to, anyway--but most everything of
great importance to me has happened in the fall. Not everything, of course, but major turning
points in my life. I wonder how many other “fall people” there are out there. And why it’s a
good time to make life decisions and to start off in new directions.
Just the word “fall” has so many more good connotations than the bad ones, such as falling down and
fracturing one’s knee--something that happened to a friend of mine not very long ago--or falling from
the edge of a cliff--or possibly, and understatedly, worse, falling into the swirling void of madness.
The season of fall doesn’t evoke those dark images for me. I think of the good connotations: to fall
in love, to fall into an unmade bed, to free-fall, to watch the leaves fall, to fall peacefully asleep under
the first blanket of the season. Theologians may think of the upward fall--through sin we “fall upward”
to God.
The “fallings” of the season for the most are light, and brilliant yellow, like from my ironically named
“red oak.”
Fall, for introverts, signals a time to prepare for winter’s long hibernation. To stock in supplies for the
coming grays of winter and leafless branches. Enjoy your color now; stock up on it. Take a walk on
the mountain, play in a pile of leaves, drive down a street of shocking red, yellow and orange-leafed
trees. All other word associations will follow: harvest, pumpkin pies, cinnamon, hay rides, high school
football games, the smells of hot dogs and marshmallows in a campfire, the first signs of your breath
in the cooling air.
Significant events happened to me in this season of great activity, but without the oppressive heat of
summer, the bitterness of winter, or the “aggressive” beauty of spring that says, “Get going!” fall says,
“Fall back. Into the routine of life. Walking home from school. Kicking though piles of leaves on the
way. Falling back toward the old traditions of home--Halloween and candy corn--” “How do you eat
your candy corn?” someone will ask. “White tip, yellow, then orange? Or some other way?” Then,
Thanksgiving’s falling, five pounds heavier, into recliners or over-stuffed beds for the after-dinner nap,
where dreams are too ladled with gravy to be remembered.
I was born in fall, the last day of September, the 30th. I don’t exactly remember it, but since my head
was already being born while my dad and a huge nurse dragged my mother, because her legs were
paralyzed, up the front steps of the hospital, I bet my formerly warm little head steamed in the cool
night air--not that anyone was noticing, most likely.
Twenty-seven years later--after thirty hours of labor, not a too-fast labor like my mother’s--but also
on the last day of September, September 30th, I gave birth to my only child, my daughter. Maybe the
most significant day of my life. That was the day that would begin my understanding of unconditional
love: No matter what, I will always be my daughter’s mother, and she will always be my daughter.
Perfect love.
In between those two September days, and before and after, I went away to college in September 1967.
My daddy drove me there, bought me a hamburger and a Coke at one of the only fast-food places, then
turned me “loose on the world,” as he said. I married on September 5, 1970; it would have been neatly
parallel to say that my divorce was finalized in September, twenty years later, but I don’t think it was.
I began my first teaching job in September 1971, and I celebrated my father’s birthday every year on
September 29th until 1998, and ever after in my heart.
Fall is the season of promise: fields of pumpkins waiting for faces. Indian corn; jugs of cider, gourds;
sacks of apples for apple butter on homemade biscuits. Fall reminds you of the winter ahead--in all the
good ways--the smell of wood smoke in the bonfire beside the lake at Tims Ford, where you and friends
have rented a cabin. One night when it’s another family’s turn to make dinner, they serve up the best
chili you ever had and toasted garlic bread, and later you drink hot chocolate by the fireplace. On the
balcony, the air isn’t exactly cold, but you shiver when a little chill blows in across the water.
The world is more feverish and uncertain in summer. The sun poisons or wilts the few little sprigs
of food during a famine. People of the world are restless, looking for action, adventure, or just plain
meanness to get the sun from behind their eyes. Fall starts the cool-down, the return to a little sanity-the stepping back into one’s own space, the falling back into harmony--into one piece--where the clay
earth has cracked into cobblestone pieces under a waterless sun.
I began first grade, like everyone, I guess, in fall. And, if you remember, first grade was exciting and
terrifying, but mostly wonderful because we sat at low tables, just right for our size. Four people sat
at the table, and each of us had a drawer with a box of Crayolas, a small pair of scissors, Elmer’s Glue,
big pencils the size of an adult’s index finger, and a writing tablet with dotted lines between the solid
lines. Everything in life was new--and, at the same time, in order and safe. The first thing we made for
the windows was autumn leaves like the ones letting go, falling, from maples outside. I had mastered
home life for six whole years; and by September of the first grade, I was ready--for the most--to let go
of Mama’s soft, gloved hand.
I love the fall.
THE VALLEY PLANET
#092911101911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
21
A CLASSIFIED AD WITH THE VALLEY PLANET GETS YOU:
A line ad (up to 30 words) in print in the Valley Planet for one issue
(3 weeks). Internet ads for 3 weeks on The Daily Classifieds.com,
CraigsList, LYCOS Classifieds, Oodle, myspace classifieds, military.com, Google Base, (Real
Estate classifieds will additionally be on Google Maps Real Estate Listings, Zillow.com,
trulia and Rentals will also be on hotpads.com.)
SERVICE INCLUDES DAILY VIEWER REPORTS.
ALL THIS FOR $40. Employment ads, Rentals, Items for Sale, etc…
A Great Impression Writing Consultant Firm, specializing in editing, proofreading, researching,
English and Writing tutoring, and guidance and critique of fiction and non-fiction. See
makeagreatimpression.net, contact [email protected], or call 256-361-4814.
Need a pet sitter? “If you’re not home to play Mommy or Daddy, Auntie Jen will take care of your
furry family.” Detailed info at auntiejenpetsitter.com, or call (256) 566-2020,
5am-9pm, 7 days/wk.
Two Lighted Open signs for sale. $60 each or two for $100. Great for bar, restaurant or any retail
store. Call 256 479-9463
Stainless Steel steam pans $5 EACH,various sizes about 20. Stainless steel cart $25 EACH (like for
bussing tables). Call 256 479-9463
The Valley Planet Music Exchange is FREE to any individual (not businesses) looking to
buy, sell, trade or find bandmates. You get a headline and 3 lines of text for FREE! Please
call (256) 533-4613 or email your ads to [email protected].
WANTED: Drummer and bassist, ideally already
tight together. One must sing. For trio with keyboardist/guitarist/vocalist. Mostly origs, but some
select covers. Contact Joe at
[email protected].
Something different? Rock Opera / Musical performance piece. Our project needs M & F singers
to complete CD production. If U can sing & are interested in broadening UR musical resume, call us. Mike
@ 828-342-3117 or Vic @ 256-497-4491
Pioneer Speakers: 15 inch woofers, solid wood cabinets. $150/pair. Call 256-694-3924
For musical experiment of 2 girl/2 guy punk/
thrash/alt band with clean female vox. For more
info contact adam @ 256-431-5130 or Aye-Damn
Jackson on facebook. Should be open-minded, willing to travel and want to play music full-time
B-52 professional PA speakers 300 watts each, 80
ohms, 40-19 hz, 15 inch woofer and horn, used very
little. made in USA. mfg has web site, call 256-7063278
RC: What goes around comes around – you
should believe it, I do.
Musicians of all kinds needed for a lady with a
Nashville record deal. Prefer women players and
singers. Men are welcome, too. Located in Huntsville
area. Call 318-491-1995
JC - Guy Fieri called; he wants his hair back. G
Send in your random encounters today. It’s
FREE!!
We are putting all the categories together since
it seems like there are always more jeers than
anything else!! But just to give you an idea of
what the To Yuno from Yunohoos are about…
I Saw you: but you didn’t catch my name, You
saw me or you think you were seen: Cheers:
Pay your respect to those who deserve it and of
course Jeers: Frustrated? Tell us all about it.
Thankfully, we don’t know who you are!
To send in your FREE ad
1. Keep your word limit to 40 words. No names,
just initials if you want.
2. Meet the deadline.
3. Get it to us: Put “To Yuno from Yunohoo”
in the subject line of the email and send to
[email protected].
Barbara - I know you are a big Valley Planet
reader, so I want to ask you here and now: Will
you marry me? Russell
22
CHEERS! To the kind lady on Madison Blvd.
who helped ME change my tire! JJ
Ed. Note: I called Ricky about this one. When
he stopped laughing he said, “How serendipitous
that as we speak I am listening to Cee-Lo Green’s
“F*** You” song.
F - Even if you had a trained monkey no one
believes it could do laundry and play baseball
with the neighbor kids. T
Lemons for sale on Meridian St. Yushudnohoo
Cheers to the Arsenal’s OctoberFest! Too much
fun! And the loaded fries were the Bomb!
T & J: Need a little mustard for the big LSU
game?
Seeking a band or person: Experienced banjo/guitar player seeking a band, person or persons to perform with, preferably gigs but just to jam is good also.
I also sing. Contact Tim at 281-650-2573 tmtlr51@
gmail.com
Drummer seeking open-minded musicians to
join OR to start a new project,arrange originals
& play the local scene & beyond. Musically I’m
very open but I’d prefer alt rock/neo-grunge/post
emo on the level of FooFighters, Mutemath, Janes
Addiction(great local band ‘Eyes Around’) all the way
to stuff like Tool, APC, NIN, The Cure, Dido, Tegan &
Sara to Portishead. Voyage2Infinity@hotmail or 256232-7505.Kirk
Guitar Player Wanted to accompany a local singer/songwriter who plans to focus on spiritual but
NOT religious music. Would like to start working on
building up repertoire and eventually publish and
hopefully tour Unitarian Universalist churches. Must
be willing to follow my lead yet add new ideas or
possibly collaborate in writing. Must enjoy playing
inspiring and hopeful, liberal, spiritual music. Please
contact Vanessa at 256-585-0260 or email me at
[email protected].
HORN PLAYERS NEEDED! Local original band seeking experienced horn players. Reggae, jazz, soul,
blues, rock. 256 361 5524
Ricky T. - Do you have any idea how many people
hate you? Us
R - You really should stop telling people that an
old black man told you years ago that peeing
on your feet will cure athlete’s foot, and you
really, really should stop telling them you do it
every day. R2
New Age Folk: Wanting to mix Master P, NIN, WP,
Indigo Girls into 15 yrs of folk originals, accomplished
baritone using simple rhythms. Smokers Only.
[email protected]
JW…If you put that freakin’ helmet on for the
next Alabama game I am going to SCREAM!...
and perhaps tackle YOU!
Sarah - You do know people are saying “Trig” is
short for “Trigger” and that you named him after
a stud you once knew, right? TDP
#092911101911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
AG - You personal pronoun ho, I’m ready to sic
TB on you, and it won’t be pretty. SWR
Hey John: You screamed like a girl on the FireBall
at the ‘fest!
To the squirrels who eat my green tomatoes, dig
up my flowers and throw pecans at me…I will get
you my little pretties! SG Yeah, I know – squirrels
don’t read the VP.
To Yuno: Stealing your staffs’ sodas out of the
employee lounge is sooo not cool. How did you
get to be the Boss? From All of Us – And BTW,
we need a raise!
THE VALLEY PLANET
The Arts Council, Inc. salutes the generous
sponsors and contributors that ensured
“Taste of Panoply” 2011 was a success.
Taste of Panoply Leadership Sponsors:
Taste of Panoply Corporate Sponsors:
Adtran
AirTran
Appleton Learning
Rep. Mike Ball
First Financial Group Wealth Management
Home Depot-Madison
Huntsville Intl. Airport
Lockheed Martin
PP&G
Public FA
w w w. a r t s h u n t s v i l l e . o r g
THE VALLEY PLANET
#092911101911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 13
23
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and I got a great rate
on my auto loan”*
You’ll love the great rates and service on our loans,
as well as a host of other products, including GAP
coverage.** GAP covers the difference between the
vehicle’s value and the amount you still owe. And
when you have a checking account, you are eligible
for even better rates with Redstone MemberPlus!†
Ask about it today!
* Must be RFCU member to obtain loan; all loans subject to credit approval; restrictions apply; contact us for
more information. This Credit Union is Federally Insured by the National Credit Union Administration.
** For a complete list of benefits and rules, see the GAP Waiver Election Form. The purchase of GAP is voluntary
and cannot be required as a condition of loan approval. GAP is a loan/lease deficiency waiver and is not
offered as insurance coverage. Applies only to collateral financed by Redstone Federal Credit Union. A fee
applies, please contact RFCU for more information.
† Must have checking account to be eligible for Redstone MemberPlus! Restrictions apply.
¤¤~ÛÝÛoooj]\^[mgj_

146

Transcription

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