making your networking more profitable

making your networking more profitable
PO Box 693, CLAREMONT WA 6910 ABN 53 080 023 052
Phone: (08) 9284 2464 Mobile: 0413 420 538 Email: [email protected]
You need to get out there and meet people to generate business….
HOW TO ENJOY AND GET THE MOST
OUT OF BUSINESS NETWORKING EVENTS
....by Ron Gibson
In business, personal connections are everything. People prefer to do business with
those they have previously met or who have been recommended to them by people
they know. This is strong incentive for business people and professionals of every kind
to build their personal networks.
The most successful people in business are invariably the best connected.
Having connections makes growing a business so much easier.
During a weak economy, the businesses that have built a network survive
and prosper when other businesses are struggling. In troubled times
people with a strong and expansive network have a circle of
people they can call on for referrals and opportunities.
To say you don’t have the time to get out there and meet people because you’re
busy with work today, means that when you’re not busy tomorrow and you’re
looking for business to keep the revenues flowing, you’ll have hard time
of making it happen. Why? Because you won’t know enough people
to contact and offer your products or services or ask for that
introduction to the “buyer” you want to get in front of.
One of the best ways to meet people who can help you grow your business is by
attending networking events. These might be “after-hours” meetings hosted by your
local chamber of commerce, lunches organised by industry groups, business breakfasts
and the myriad social functions associated with conferences, seminars, trade shows
and so on.
Networking at events can open a lot of doors
for both yourself and your business.
(The good thing about a networking event is the informal and relaxed setting you’re in –
it’s an atmosphere where people who might be interested in your business are more
comfortable to talk with you because both of you are outside the “buyer/seller” context.
When you cold call potential ”buyers” and potential “referral sources” they generally
have their defences up because they feel like they are being sold to. What’s more, at a
networking event, hard to get to decision makers are free from their gatekeepers who
screen their calls and e-mails.)
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The value of networking events cannot be denied or overlooked
as a critical way to meet people who can take your business to the next level.
Attending networking events is one thing. But making the most of them is quite another
and requires the ability to connect with others and engage them in a way that makes
them interested in conversing with you. The questions that you ask, the ideas you bring
to the table and your people skills combined with your networking strategy and your
willingness to give of yourself first (before you ask for anything) are the fundamentals of
what it takes to make solid connections for business.
Networking, done rightly, can generate the lion’s share of your business.
As you read this article, you will gain insight to my philosophy of networking and get
practical, real-world how-to advice on how to make the most of networking events,
conferences and other face-to-face opportunities.
Advertising, brochures, websites and on-line networking via LinkedIn and
Twitter all have a potential role in the growth of your business, but
nothing can consistently connect you with prospects and land
you new business like face-to-face networking can.
Where to go? The best events for networking are the ones your ideal clients/customers
and referral sources go to. (There’s an old and true saying in sales and it goes
something like this: when you’re hunting elephants, find out where they gather and go
there.) Most people in business belong to an industry or trade association. Simply ask
your clients and referrers what meetings they go to and ask if you can tag along with
them. At the meeting, have your client/referrer introduce you to people they know. And if
anyone asks what you are doing there, tell them you want to learn more about the
industry and to meet people and get to know them.
You are 100% missing out on good business if you
aren’t going to networking events. But you need to choose the “right” events.
If you’re at the right event, you’re bound to see someone you must speak to.
The sheer number of networking events happening in any given month can be
overwhelming, so choose the type of events most suited to you. If you’re not a morning
person, breakfast meetings may not be your thing. If you don’t like mixing and mingling
at after-hours drinks gatherings, find another kind of event. It’s more productive, not to
mention, more enjoyable to find organisations with activities you enjoy at a time of the
day that works for you. Keep in mind that all networking does not have to be workrelated. Beyond meetings and functions organised by your local chamber of commerce
and business/industry association and networking/referral groups like BNI and
Rainmakers, you can make valuable connections with like-minded people by joining a
civic organisation like Rotary, by getting involved with a charity or community group, by
joining a sporting or leisure club, by starting your own networking group or by taking a
course or class of some kind. (For more ideas on where to go to expand you’re your
circle of contacts and connections, read my article entitled, NETWORKING
OPPORTUNITIES ABOUND:42 WAYS TO RAISE YOUR PROFILE IN YOUR LOCAL
COMMUNITY.
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Getting out to networking events will do more to build your business than making
cold calls, advertising and spending money on a website or well-designed
brochure.
My philosophy of networking. The ability to network, and network well, is one of the
biggest factors in business and personal success. For me, networking is about making
friends and building real (strong and authentic) relationships. There are no tricks or
systems. A great network is formed by a genuine desire to meet and get to know people
and, most importantly, help them to succeed and prosper. The more friendships and
relationships you have, the more clients you’ll have, the more business you’ll have. It’s
as simple as that. The hardest part is making the effort.
I like being friendly. I’m almost always the first person to say hello and initiate a
conversation. I believe that most people are friendly and are happy to talk to me. I
believe if I focus the conversation on the other person (rather than on myself), listen to
what they say and add to the conversation where appropriate, I will likely make a good
connection.
Be yourself. Talk real, act real, be real and you will
find that good things will follow.
I believe that most people go to networking events to better themselves and their
business. If I can help them move closer to meeting their goals then it could be the start
of a good relationship that will better me and my business too.
I believe that until people get to know me better and realize that I can help them in some
meaningful way, they are probably more interested in themselves. I believe helping
people helps me. If people see having a relationship with me can be useful to them,
they will work at making the relationship useful to me. Giving begins the process of
receiving. I believe that if I make myself valuable to others they will want to make me
part of their network.
Successful networking should be genuinely selfless and
altruistic, always giving referrals, making introductions and opening
doors for others without remembering your simple favours or keeping score.
I know that it is up to me to make people aware of what my business is about. I know
that the chances of getting a referral are greatly increased if people understand exactly
what I do and the problems I solve. I also know that I’m kidding myself if I think that by
just doing good work for my clients I’m going to get all the referrals I want. I’ve learned
that I need to be doing something every day to make referrals continually happen and
this includes reminding certain individuals that their referrals and introductions are
important to me.
I work hard at trying to give three or four quality referrals a week. I’m always on the
lookout for people to connect. When you constantly look out for opportunities to put
people together those opportunities easily appear. I never feel bad about asking for
referrals and introductions because I’m always giving them.
When I go to networking events, I’m always on the lookout for people who I can connect
to my clients and others I know. These actions are a great way to build your reputation
as a well-connected and respected individual. You will also start to attract more
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opportunities for yourself and your business. If you are not sure what will come of the
referral or introduction that you are making simply state that up front and then follow up
by saying that you think the connection could be helpful and briefly describe how.
Giving starts the process of receiving.
For me, real networking is more about what happens after you meet someone rather
than the initial meeting itself. The key to getting the results you want from networking
events is meeting people afterwards and getting to know them better and keeping in
touch.
What are networking events for anyway? Networking events are great for meeting
new people, but they are not the place to bend someone’s ear for an extended period.
That initial encounter should be just about rapport building, discovering common ground
and creating interest in taking the conversation further. Your goal is to start a
conversation or relationship that can be continued at a later date. It’s the follow up
and ongoing e-mails, phone calls and in-person meetings that turn new networking
contacts into relationships and transform relationships into business.
Networking is about helping people. This is the most basic rule and the reason
selfish people fail at networking. Call it karma or whatever you like. What goes around,
comes around. Your networking success will depend on how successful you are at
helping others. Think about it. If you cannot or will not help others who can live
comfortably without you, why should they go out of their way to help you?
The most important concept that will help you get the most out of your networking
efforts is to understand that you can provide value and be helpful to others without
selling them your products or services. When you meet someone you like, ask yourself,
“How can I help this person?” “What one piece of information or advice could I give this
person?” “Who can I introduce this person to?”
Everyone goes to a networking event to better themselves in some way. When
you’re meeting people, the question you have to ask yourself is, “How can I
make this person better off as a result of connecting with me?”
I like to get my contacts to tell me about a business challenge they are grappling with.
That way, I might know somebody who can help…and that’s a good way to start a new
relationship.
For networking to work for you, you must have an attitude of helping people.
A good networking conversation is one where you
find out how you can help each other.
People respond to anyone who will help them get what they want. So find out
how you can help as many people as you can. Become their lead source,
referral source, information source. They will be motivated
reciprocate by helping you get what you want.
Make it known to your contacts that you are interested in helping them and serving
them. If you do this consistently in your conversations and electronic communications
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your reputation will rise dramatically and, as a result, you will attract more business and
referrals.
What you can do for people means nothing
until you take action to follow through and do it.
Have an objective when you go to a networking event. That way, you will feel more
purposeful and find your actions more directed instead of wandering around the room
aimlessly. It could be that you’d like to meet a certain individual whom you know will be
attending. Maybe you choose to find two potential referral sources for your business or
for a friend’s business. Perhaps you’d like to meet the speaker or re-connect with a
certain someone you met at last month’s meeting and who you’d like to get to know
better. If you cannot come up with a specific goal for the event, introduce yourself three
or four people and learn about their businesses and then make them aware of yours,
which is an excellent goal for almost any networking occasion. Don’t leave until you
achieve your goal/s.
Identify specific people you want to meet or talk with.
Determine how many conversations you want to
initiate and the number of post-event meetings you want to set up.
If you can have a meaningful conversation with two or
three people and agree to talk again later, then you’ve had a successful event.
It’s about quality contacts versus quantity. When I go to a networking event, my aim
is to make two to four meaningful contacts and invite them to meet me for coffee. It’s
incredible what can happen over a cup of coffee. A good conversation in a relaxed
setting often leads to good business and referrals for me.
Often, people are tempted to distribute and collect as many business cards as possible
during a business event. You will get better results by setting a goal of making between
two and five new contacts at each networking event you attend. By limiting the number
of contacts, you are able to focus on quality connections, deeper conversations and
building rapport and trust with each person.
If you’re not sure why you’re going to an event or if your heart just isn’t in it, your
time is better spent elsewhere. Many people show up to events late, sit by
themselves, speak only to people they know and then sneak out
early. These people leave thinking, “Well that was a waste
of time”, when actually it was a wasted opportunity.
You are there to meet people. I have attended many networking events where groups
of people would just sit at one table or stand around together and talk amongst
themselves. That’s a waste of time and opportunity. Whenever I go to a networking
event with a colleague, we split up to meet new people.
Being on your own allows you to focus on why you
are there and that is to meet other people.
It’s up to you to connect. So be proactive. Don’t just stand around waiting for others
to approach you. Even if you are reserved by nature, now is the time to break out of
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your comfort zone. Everyone else in the room is there for the same reason as you and
that is to meet others. So take comfort in knowing that nobody is going to snub you, if
only because you might somehow be of value to them.
Getting along to networking events can seem daunting at first, but
only if you let it. Once you get started going to these events
you will find them to be rewarding experiences.
Maybe you have some feelings of apprehension at events with people you don’t
know? Realise you’re not alone. If you ask most people who attend business
networking events, they will tell you (if they were being honest) that there are certainly
some feelings of anxiety and uncertainty when it comes to meeting new people. Rather
than thinking that you’re the only one in the room who’s not feeling right at home,
instead understand that you are amongst the majority of people who feel the same way
you do.
If you’re going to talk to people you already know, make
sure it fits with your objective, not just because you feel safe.
Here are some insights and tips to help you enjoy yourself more, have better
conversations and create more opportunities when you’re meeting new people:
•
Initiate conversations with a simple “Hello there. I haven’t met you yet.” or “Hello
there. I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m…….” or “ Hi. We haven’t met. I’m……”
(said with enthusiasm) is generally the way to go, rather than trying to figure
out the perfect opener. If you are on your own, you could start with something like,
“I’m here by myself, do you mind if I join you for a while?”
•
What do you say after “Hello”? I like use the context. The place I’m in, the event
I’m at often gives me fodder to get the conversation going. And I like to lead with a
simple, non-threatening question. If it’s my first meeting with a new group, I’ll say
something like, “Nice to meet you John. This is my first time here. Are you a regular?
What can you tell me about this meeting?” If I’m at a conference, I’ll ask the person
something to do with the conference, such as “How are you enjoying the conference
so far?” or “What did you think of the last speaker?” or “What do you think of the
venue they picked for this conference?” Sometimes, instead of leading with a
question, I’ll comment on something I see. Whether I’m in a queue, at a party, in
someone’s office or wherever, I’ll comment on something I see. This usually invites a
positive response from the other person and the conversation typically goes from
there. When I’m meeting someone for the first time in a professional/business/workrelated context, I’ll often ask them about their job, and I may continue with questions
such as, “What do you do precisely in this job?” or “How did you get into this field?”
A good alternative to asking about the other person’s job at the beginning of a
conversation is asking about the company or organisation they work for. Consider
questions such as, ”How did you start working at this company?” or “What’s it like
working for XYZ company?”
(For a whole host of ice-breakers and opening lines that you can use to start
conversations in networking situations see my article entitled, “STARTING
CONVERSATIONS WITH NEW CONTACTS”.) And, later in this article, you’ll find
some of the best questions you can ask to make your networking conversations
more enjoyable and more fruitful.
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It’s easy to arrive at an event, see a friend or colleague and spend your time
catching up with them. But you must also commit to meeting new people and
initiating new relationships. Aim to meet three or four new people at each event. If
you keep this goal in mind, you will be conscious of the time you spend talking with
any one person.
•
The key to initiating a good connection in person is to forget about yourself, focus on
the other person, and ask a question about them. It doesn’t have to relate to you or
what you have to offer ― just a question that they can answer. “What did you think
of the speaker tonight?” is a good question. Or, if you happen to know something
about their firm, ask about it, for example, “I’ve seen ABC and Associates in the
news recently, haven’t I? You’re involved in that new Z project, aren’t you?” is an
even better question. See my article entitled, “STARTING CONVERSATIONS
WHEN YOU”RE NETWORKING” for a whole host of ways to make that allimportant initial connection.
When you get an answer to your question, pay attention to it. Everything you say
next should relate directly to what the other person said. For example, “Good
speaker, you say. What appealed most to you about her talk?” This is a much better
way to kick start a conversation than beginning with some blurb about you or your
business and can make a good initial connection.
So, when do you talk about yourself? Ideally, when you’re asked!
•
Don’t ever feel that someone will not want to chat with you, no matter what level
they may have achieved professionally. In the end, people are all the same. The
idea is to have something that is interesting enough or important enough to gain the
person’s attention. Hint: Make the conversation about THEM and THEIR world. Try
to provide them with something they can use such as information, a resource, a
lead or a referral.
•
Look for people who are open for a conversation. Sometimes the biggest
challenge for people at a networking event is knowing who to approach. No one
wants to just “barge in” and find themselves intruding on a private discussion. At the
same time, you are there to meet people and that means initiating and breaking into
conversations.
Knowing how to read body language is important. At your next event take a look
at how people are standing physically grouped together. You will see that people
stand with their bodies clearly indicating whether or not they are open to having
someone approach and join them. What you are looking for is “open” verses
“closed” groups.
When two people are facing each other and getting in to a deeper level of
conversation, their body language says they are preoccupied and would not
appreciate being interrupted. The same applies to groups of three or more
individuals. When they are standing close together in a closed circle, it indicates they
are having a private discussion or they are not interested in meeting someone else
at the moment. These are “closed” groups. They would not be groups to break into
and introduce yourself.
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“Open” groups are the ones to join: they make it easier for you to break into
conversations in progress. If two people are standing at an angle (i.e. their stance is
open and facing the crowd) and it appears they are not deeply engaged in
conversation or they are glancing around the room, it’s a safe bet they will be happy
for someone to join them. Make eye contact, smile, walk up and say something like,
“Hello. I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m (your name).” The same rule applies to
groups of three or more individuals. If the group is standing in an open circle which
has a gap for someone new to move into, plus one or more members of that group
makes eye contact with you, again, it’s a safe bet you’ll be welcomed into the
conversation. All it takes, is for you to approach the group and stand on the
periphery just where the gap is. If no-one acknowledges you, say nothing to begin
with, just listen and tune into the conversation. When there is a lapse (pause) in the
conversation, simply ask if you can join in. “Mind if I join you for a while?” You will
get a “yes” of some kind and then you just have to fill the gap in the circle. It is also
important to know that when you first break onto a group like this, it is not the time to
introduce a new topic or, worse, attempt to take over the conversation. Just listen in
and add to the conversation where appropriate. Eventually the conversation will shift
to who you are and what you are about.
You are likely to get a positive response when you approach someone
on their own or a group of three or more people. The dynamic of
two makes it difficult to break into a conversation and you
could be waiting on the sidelines for some time.
When you’re at a networking event, stand in open twos or
threes so that other people feel they can join the
conversation. Don’t close your group off.
Don’t sit down until the event’s program begins. If there is
no program, you can sit once you have connected with someone.
If you accidentally enter a group involved in a private conversation, excuse yourself
with something like, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize this was a private conversation.
Excuse me.” You can always join that group later when they are less involved.
Find someone who is all alone. People by themselves will often be the most open
to meeting others. Introduce yourself and then make a comment related to the event,
group, venue, sponsor, speaker, trade booth or workshop. Making small talk about
the situation or environment you are in can help you ease into a meaningful
conversation. “So Tony, what’s your connection with this group/organization?”
Approach someone who looks friendly, someone smiling with open body
language and making eye contact with you. It is easier to approach someone
who at least appears to be approachable. And you want to be sure that others feel
comfortable approaching you.
If you see a person standing alone, invite them into your conversation. They will be
grateful to you for doing this as you have taken them away from the uncomfortable
position of standing on their own. Your kind act could eventually lead you to some
new business or opportunity via the person you helped in their moment of need.
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You really can only comfortably meet about three
or four people in the time you have available at most
events; sometimes a few less and sometimes a few more.
You want to meet people who can connect you to more business. In other words,
choose the right events for your business. If you want to meet accountants or property
developers or architects, find out where they meet and go there. Look up industry
associations, check out relevant industry publications and ask your clients and
prospects which organizations they belong to and what events they attend. You need
to go where your prospects are or where the people who can connect you to your
prospects are.
If you’re naturally shy, you may want to arrive early and that way the next person to
arrive will usually come up and speak to you.
Go with a client or referral ally. There are three advantages to this strategy. First, by
committing in advance to attend an event with a friend, you are less likely to find a last
minute excuse not to go. Second, the odds are that your friend will know people you
don’t know and consequently you will have a much easier time meeting new people.
Third, you get to strengthen your relationship with your friend.
Look the part. Appearance does matter. People judge you from what you look like 3
metres away, so dress professional when you go to a networking event.
Be genuine. Business networking is about being the authentic, real you. Putting on a
fake persona or mask and trying to be someone you’re not will do you no good. No one
likes a phoney. No matter how great you are and how great your product or service is, it
won’t matter one bit if others feel you have something to hide. Always be authentically
you, represent your business honestly and build genuine relationships with your network
contacts. The financial rewards will definitely flow.
Genuineness creates a climate of trust and enhances communication.
When I go to events, I participate and get involved. Nothing more, nothing less. I say
hello and introduce myself. I ask questions. I listen. And I add to the conversation where
appropriate. It’s that simple. I show myself through my passions and interests and my
willingness to learn about others. I enjoy meeting people and helping people for itself
and not for what it will get me. I say this is who I am and what I do. If you like what I say,
great, and if you don’t, that’s okay, but here I am and I’m enjoying myself and being
myself. I don’t try to force my business into the conversation because “business” will
arrive in conversation all by itself as a matter of course. People will talk about what they
do in business and they’ll be curious about what I do. That’s what happens at a
networking event. I don’t have to force anything to happen .I can just relax and have
some fun and so can you.
Don’t be that guy. You know the one. He goes around to
everyone in room, interrupting conversations in progress, just to shove
his card in your hand and talk about his business. And then he moves on
without enquiring about your business. Take the time to have real conversations.
If someone you meet doesn’t interest you, don’t pretend that you are interested in him
or her just to keep the conversation going. You can’t fake liking or being interested in
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someone. If you try, you will come across as insincere. Spend your time with people
who feel right to you. (Later in this article, you’ll see how to “exit” a conversation.)
Interestingly, in the book entitled The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell points out that
we will have something in common with 1 out of every 2.73 people we meet. So there’s
no need to try to force a connection with someone in whom you’re not interested. If
you’re continually out there meeting new people, you’re going to naturally “connect” with
about 1 in every 3 people you meet.
Don’t pitch and sell at networking events. Whenever I go to a networking event, I’m
always reminded of what not to do. There’s always someone (or several someones)
who think their purpose in being there is to hand their business card to everyone they
meet and pitch and sell their wares. These people don’t get it. They’re continually
forcing their business into the conversation, slipping in pieces and parts of a sales pitch,
trying to make a sale. BIG MISTAKE! If you’re attempting to sell to people when you’re
meeting them for the first time they will be put off by your approach. They won’t want to
talk to you. And they won’t want to be around you in the future because they know you
are going to pressure them and try to sell them something they don’t need. (Okay, in
some cases, you might get the sale but you’ll have a hard time getting referrals, repeat
business and a good reputation.)
Few (if any) people go to networking events looking to buy. So you have to ask
yourself what is the point of trying to sell to people who aren’t in buying mode.
Think beyond the short-term gain and focus on relationship building. After all,
wouldn’t you prefer to get ongoing referrals from a long-term relationship than
one sale from a passing contact?
Trying to sell someone you just met is off-putting. You will shut the
door on the potential for a future relationship.
BIG QUESTION: How do you know if you’re selling?
BIG ANSWER: If you’re talking about the features and/or benefits of your product or
service, if you’ve offered them a brochure and if you’ve given them an invitation to learn
more about your business over coffee, then you are selling. Unless they have
specifically asked for this information. If they haven’t asked, you’re selling.
Here are some how-to pointers to help you have better, more productive conversations
when you attend networking events:
•
Think conversation, not sales pitch. After the initial pleasantries, try to learn
something about the person you’ve just met. Ask a question. For example: “What
is your connection with so’n’so/this group/all these people?” or “What made you
decide to come along to this meeting?” or “Have you been to one of these
meetings before?” And, when you have established enough rapport: “What is
your business about?” or “What’s keeping you busy at work these days?” It is not
about interrogating people. You are not going to fire a whole bunch of questions
at them. Indeed, just one or two engaging questions is often all it takes to get a
conversation going. And, if you talk with anyone for five minutes, you will usually
find something in common such as a shared interest or experience or maybe a
common acquaintance or goal. Find common ground and you’ll have plenty to
talk about. It helps making “connecting” easier and opens the door for you to
move forward and discuss business from there.
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The people who get the most out of networking begin
a connection with casual conversation, engaging questions
and meaningful dialogue so they can get to know the other person.
•
Remember why you are there: to meet people. And the whole point of meeting
people is to give you a starting point for developing a relationship. New contacts
almost never become clients/customers or referral sources as a result of a
one-time meeting. It’s the follow-up that gets things to happen for you. (For
insights, strategies and tools to help you follow up successfully with your new
contacts, see my article entitled, “EFFECTIVE FOLLOW-UP FOR SUCCESSFUL
BUSINESS NETWORKING”)
Networking events are not the place for pitching, selling and closing
business on the spot. They are an opportunity to meet people to then
follow up with.
•
Hold back from talking about your business. Instead, ask the other person about
their business. In networking situations, we are often tempted to tell others
everything we can about our business. It is like we have this idea that if they
know all about what we do they’ll recognize how much they need us. It’s a better
approach to learn about the other person’s business before telling them about
yours. Ask them what they do. Then, when they answer, ask even more
questions. For example: “How did you end up working for (name of
company/firm)?” “Where did the idea come from to start your own business?”
“What do you like most about what you do?” ”How do your clients/customers
benefit from dealing with you?” “Who makes a good client/customer for your
business?” In my opinion, it’s better not to talk about your business until you are
asked. At that point, you’ll be able to give the person you are networking with
information that is relevant to them and they will be ready to hear it.
To make the most of a networking event, detach yourself from the outcome
of having to generate new business. Your focus should be on finding
something in common and establishing a rapport as you are meeting new
people. The other stuff will take care of itself as a natural by-product of
your “relaxed” approach. Inevitably, they will eventually start asking you
about what you do. Now you’ve just created the opening to talk about your
business, without even trying.
•
Make friends first. Your goal is to make people feel that you are someone they
can trust. Someone they can believe. Someone they can potentially do business
with. The less you focus on getting business, the more likely it is that you will
make a successful connection. Everyone understands we are all in business
fundamentally to generate profits. But your chances of gaining a new client
or a referral are greatly increased if you are also perceived to have a wider
purpose to life than just closing your next piece of business. The most
important lesson to learn from the best connected individuals is that little of their
networking activity is carried out with any specific business goal in mind. They
concentrate on having meaningful conversations with the people they meet and
getting to know them as “people” and not solely as “prospects”. (Some people
say to me, “I never know what to say at these events. What do you talk about?”
My response to that is ”When you’re out with friends, what are some of the
typical topics of conversation you have?” They reply, “Family, friends, work, kids,
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travel, weather, leisure, current events, restaurants, sports, shopping, movies,
pets.” Then I say, “So why would it be any different to talk about these things
when you’re making new business contacts?”
Most people go to networking events in search of new business
opportunities. That’s okay, depending when you get down to
the subject of business itself. In my opinion, it should be
later rather than sooner. First, concentrate on finding
out about the other person and making friends.
Good things will often follow.
•
Learn to ask questions that uncover issues or challenges that the person (or their
business) is facing. You can then position yourself as a potential solution to one
or more of those issues. When I feel a measure of rapport has been established,
I like to ask the other person a question like, “What are the biggest challenges for
you business right now?” or “What’s on your worry pile back at the office this
week?” or “What’s going on in your business these days that’s taking up a lot of
your time?”
•
If you meet someone who seems to need your business’s product or service,
resist the temptation to move into sales mode then and there. You don’t want to
risk blowing your business opportunity by talking too much about your wares.
Simply exchange cards and agree to talk further at a later date. Whenever I find
myself in a situation like this, I’ll say something like, “Let’s find a better time to
continue this conversation. Can I call you tomorrow so we can discuss this
further?” Or, I might say, “Why don’t we continue this conversation in a more
private setting over a coffee/over lunch/over a drink after work? Can I call you to
arrange a meeting?” Other variations of these phrases are, “Would you be
interested in grabbing a coffee sometime so we can continue this conversation?”,
“If I could help you with that would you be interested?” and “Can I call you in a
week or so to discuss the services I offer?” As a general rule, it’s best to defer
the sales pitch for a better occasion and get on with meeting some other people.
•
Be careful not to spend too much time on subjects of mutual interest. It’s
tempting to spend half an hour or more talking about things you like. Don’t. Your
opportunity to meet others awaits you. You can expand the conversation over
coffee, at lunch or over a drink after work at a later date.
If you’ve made a good connection, the
other person will be happy to talk with you again.
•
When you meet someone interesting who could potentially refer business to you,
invite the person to get together with you one-on-one for breakfast or lunch or
simply for coffee so that you can “hear more about what they do” and “brief them
on some on some of the things you do for your clients/customers”. Let me give
you come ideas about the kind of language you might use in this situation:
“Do you want to meet for breakfast or lunch sometime and see what we
can do for each other? We’re both out in the market place talking to similar
kinds of people and maybe we can be making introductions for each
other.”
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“I think we might be serving the same types of customers. Could we get to
know each other better so maybe we could help each other out with
referrals and introductions?”
“I’ve enjoyed meeting you. Why don’t we have lunch sometime and find
out if there’s anything we can be doing to help each other do more
business.”
“Would it be all right for me to call you in the near future for a more
In-depth conversation? (Then, after you leave their presence, make a
note on the back of their business card that will remind you of what
you talked about.)
“Can I give you a call next week to set up a time to talk in more detail?”
“Would you like to get together on Friday and work through the idea?
”I’m really interested in learning more about what you do, but I don’t want
to keep you from the chance to meet other people here tonight. Why don’t
I call you tomorrow and we’ll find a time when I can buy you a cup of
coffee?”
“Let’s get together sometime and explore how we can help each other get
more business. It sounds like we’re trying to find the same kind of clients.”
“I’d like hear more about your business and what you do for your clients.
And I’d like to tell you a little what we/I do. You want to go for a coffee
sometime?”
“It sounds like you and I have contacts that are in each other’s target
markets. Would you be interested in having coffee sometime to talk about
this further? Maybe we can help each other over time with referrals and
introductions.”
“I think we might be able to help each other do more business. Do you
want to talk about it sometime?”
“I can certainly see some synergy between what you and I do. Can I give
you a call next week to set up some time for a longer conversation?”
“It sounds like I might know people you want to meet for your business
and vice-versa. Would you be interested in talking about this further?
Perhaps we can help each other with referrals and introductions.”
Don’t try to sell and close business at a networking event.
If you do, each person you meet will be turned off by
your approach. Instead, focus on getting to know
people and what their business is about so
you can follow up as appropriate.
•
Listen more to learn more. Ask engaging questions and listen, without
interrupting, to what the other person is saying. Pay attention to what is
important to the person you are networking with, discover what they want for their
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business, what issues and challenges confront them and what motivates and
inspires them and you will be better placed to help them (or find someone in your
network who can). If you identify an opportunity to do business with the person
you have just met, it would be quite appropriate for you to say something like,
“Can I call you about the problem you have with…..? Now isn’t the time or place
but maybe your problem is something that I can give you help with.” or, “I think I
can help you with that. Can I give you a call?”
Listen completely, without the intent to respond
immediately or show your knowledge.
Learn to be silent. Give the other person time to finish before you
jump in with new thoughts of your own. Your silence is an opportunity
to listen not only for words and ideas, but for feelings. Silence encourages
those who are speaking to elaborate.
Pay attention to what people say,
rather than simply waiting for your turn to speak.
You should never be so focused on what you have
to say that you forget to listen.
As you listen to people, look for opportunities
to ask questions based on what you hear.
Tune in to THEIR problems and issues. Think about how can your
product or service provide a solution? And if it can’t, is there
anyone you can refer them to? If you can help the person,
you’ve just started a new relationship.
Let others talk and listen to what they have to say. You might find that
they offer something you need. You might realise that you have
something unique to offer them. You might know someone
to whom you could refer them. Or you might see an
opportunity for the two of you to help each other.
It’s well worth the time it takes to listen. Listening multiplies the value
of the information you receive. You can also gain a reputation for
courtesy concern for others—positive traits for success.
• As people are talking, stay in the present moment and be genuinely interested.
When you’re distracted thinking about the work waiting for you back at the office
or your next appointment, that comes across as you not wanting to be there.
Body language, arms folded and a rushed air about you is a big turn off to the
other person.
•
•
Avoid wandering and scanning eyes when in conversation with someone,
concentrate on that conversation. Your goal is one-on-one attention. Engage
people. Send the right message: physically face the person completely. The most
offensive thing you can do while participating in a conversation is to look around
the room as if you’re trying to spot somebody or find someone better to talk to. (If
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you’re looking for someone in particular at an event, why not ask the person
you’re with to help you find them.)
Looking over someone’s shoulder when you are talking to them
is plain rude. You are letting them know that you
really aren’t interested in them.
•
Balance the amount that you talk with the amount the other person is talking.
Talk too much and the other person will tune out. Ask too many questions and
they’ll feel like they are being interrogated. The rapport-building sweet spot is
usually somewhere in the middle.
People want to know a little about you and you need to know a little
about them. It’s how people discover if they are interested
in developing a relationship with each other.
•
Be open to meet anyone and everyone. If you have specific individuals you want
to meet at an event and you can’t find them or you have difficulty approaching
them don’t be too concerned and think your time is going to be wasted. You may
meet other people and make connections you never dreamed of. Allow yourself
to be open to possibilities. You never know who else they could put you in touch
with.
•
Don’t be pushing buttons on your mobile phone or looking around for others to
approach when you’re engaged in a conversation. Again, your goal is one-onone attention.
It’s best to get to understand the other
person and their business situation before you
start unloading information about your business on them.
•
Usually once you get chatting, you can tell if the initial meeting will lead to
another conversation and, potentially, an ongoing relationship. You may meet
someone who just isn’t interested in you or what you have to say. They may be
distracted. They may hijack the conversation, talk incessantly about themselves
and never ask you anything. Don’t take it personally. If they aren’t interested,
don’t waste time continuing the conversation. When there’s an appropriate pause
in the conversation, excuse yourself and move on. If they’re unpleasant and talk
only about themselves, they probably wouldn’t be a good customer/client or
business referral partner for you anyway.
The primary purpose of attending networking events should
be to meet people and establish a “connection” with them, rather than
sell your widgets. Once you have made the connection, you can arrange
a follow-up meeting to discuss business at a later date.
When you meet someone who you would like to speak to
further, ask if you can call them before moving on to your
next conversation. If the person is open to this, ask for their card.
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Pay attention to what people say about their
problems and issues. It will help you make connections for them.
Remember, conversations that don’t lead to direct business
may lead indirectly to business by referrals. You never know who THEY know.
The only thing you should be selling at a networking event is your interest and
willingness to help others. If you do that, you’ll sell plenty.
It’s a hell of a lot easier to build trust by
providing something of value than giving a sales pitch.
Attempting to hard sell people when you’re meeting
them for the first time will not only put them off buying from
you but also kill any future opportunity to gain referrals from them.
If you are looking to improve your ability to make those all-important connections, read
my articles entitled, “HOW TO SKILFULLY CONVERSE WITH PEOPLE” and
“NETWORKING KNOW–HOW:ENGAGING DURING THE CONVERSATION.”
Network for “advocacy” rather than “prospects”. A room full of people at a
networking event does not represent a room full of potential clients/customers to whom
you can sell your stuff. It does, however, represent a room full of potential advocates.
We can all be advocates for each other. If you take the time to have real conversations,
you can develop a circle (network) of people who will brag about you to others. And you
can brag about them. When we talk about ourselves, nobody really listens. If we
can get others talking about us, it’s more powerful and, therefore, more
profitable.
The real power of your connections is in
who THEY know: there are many more opportunities there.
The vast majority of new business you will get in the future will not come directly from
the people you meet at networking events. It will come indirectly as a result of your
contacts dropping your name and bragging about you over lunch, on the golf course, at
parties and in numerous other situations to people you have never heard of: people who
would never have considered doing business with you until their trusted friend (and your
advocate) recommended you.
So to be sure you are getting the best return for your investment of time at a networking
event, look for more than prospects for your business. Focus on meeting people who
can refer you, introduce you and open doors for you.
You don’t need to go after “buyers” at networking events.
There is a variety of other people who can be just as valuable including,
potential strategic allies and referral partners, influencers, opinion leaders
and others who can endorse you and recommend you.
If you just go and look for customers/clients, there is always that
tension that you are sizing people up and down–trying to
figure out if it is worth investing time in someone.
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Take the stress out of your conversations altogether. Rather than looking to turn
your contacts into clients, look to turn THEIR relationships into clients.
This approach takes all the pressure off you “to sell” and means
the other person feels no pressure from you “to buy”.
Sure, there might be potential buyers of your products or services at networking events
but they didn’t go there to be sold to by you or anyone else in the room. That’s a
conversation for another time and place. Simply exchange cards and agree to talk in
depth at a later date.
Remember, the real power of networking is in
the 2nd degree: it’s who THEY know. You need to be able to tell
people what you do so they can talk about you to their friends.
But people won’t do that if you try to sell to them.
BIG QUESTION: What is the purpose of building a network anyway?
BIG ANSWER: Word-of-mouth referrals. People refer business to people they know,
like and trust. Think about when you needed a service provider. Maybe to fix something
at your house or solve a problem at the office. Chances are you asked some friends
who they would recommend if you didn’t know someone yourself. As a business service
provider then, it pays to know as many people as possible who will give your name
when asked for a recommendation for the type of service or solution you offer.
The whole point of networking is to attract business and referrals. Rather
than spend a lot of money on chasing business with marketing tactics
that cost too much and produce too little, you really want to get into
a position where business comes to you as a result of your
network recommending, referring and introducing you.
It’s the reward, not the purpose. Most companies have a mission statement: an easy
to remember sentence or paragraph illustrating the business’s goals and purpose.
Disney’s mission statement says, “To make people happy”. Boeing’s says, “To push the
leading edge of aviation, taking huge challenges doing what others cannot do”. 3M’s
says, “To solve unsolved problems innovatively”. Note that these companies’ missions
are not to make a profit: profit is the outcome of and reward for fulfilling the mission. In
the same sense, the mission (or the point) of networking is not to sell and close
business. The mission of your networking activities is to make connections, build
relationships and help others. The outcome of these activities will ultimately be
increased business and referrals. Remember, it’s the reward, not the purpose.
So often, people forget about the importance of relationships and trust because they are
so focused on getting business. Your networking efforts will be more fruitful if you focus
on becoming known and trusted instead of making an immediate sale. As you stay in
touch and develop your relationships, you should have ample opportunity to discuss
business in depth.
Think long-term and relational instead of
immediate and transactional in your networking conversations.
Be ready for “What do you do?” When you are meeting people for the first time at a
networking event, the question “What do you do?” invariably arises. This is a golden
opportunity to arouse interest in your business. That is why having a value proposition is
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so important. It is a clear statement about how a person or company benefits from using
your product, service or solution. An effective value proposition gets people asking you
questions about your business. BIG QUESTION: What response do you get when you
tell people what you do?
If your answer to the question “What do you do?” does not regularly
start a conversation about your business, you need to change your answer.
Here are some tips to help you craft a value proposition that will arouse interest in your
business:
•
You need to distill the “value” your product, service or solution delivers to others
into a handful of words (one or two sentences) that are understandable and
meaningful to those who are unfamiliar with your business or even your industry.
Write these words down. Read them out loud and re-write and practice them until
they sound natural and unscripted
•
Use natural, jargon-free language that your mother would understand. Avoid
using acronyms. Share your message with your family, friends and others who
want you to succeed. Ask them for feedback.
•
Don’t focus on what you are selling but on the results or successes you create
for others. Your value proposition should clearly tell your listener how your
clients/customers are better off once they “buy” from you.
•
If you are unsure how people and companies benefit from doing business with
you, ask your best clients/customers “why they buy from you” and “what they say
about you to others”. Get them to tell you “what problem you solved for them”,
“what need you filled for them” or “what gain you created for them”. Write this
information down and get comfortable with the words. Once you clearly
understand the value you create for others, you will know how to communicate
your value proposition.
•
Be able to say what you do in a short sentence as well as a long sentence and a
few sentences. You want to be understood and easily remembered but different
people in varying roles and industries warrant different lengths of your value
proposition.
•
Your value proposition (no matter how good you think it is) should never be used
to introduce yourself. It should be in your head and ready for when the
opportunity arises and only when it arises. i.e. when someone asks what you do.
Networking is about connecting with people and making friends.
If you are asked what you do, by all means use your value
proposition, otherwise just focus on finding
common interests and sharing ideas.
If you are constantly manipulating the conversation so you can slip
in pieces and parts of your value proposition, it will show.
Nothing turns off others more than listening to
someone who has a heavy selling agenda.
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•
Too often people have fallen into the trap of rambling on and on about their
business when asked what they do. A better approach is to reveal small amounts
of information about yourself and then check to see if the listener wants to know
more. “I can tell you a little more, if you’re interested.” “Tell me if you’d like to
know more. I don’t want to fire-hose you with stuff about my business.”
•
In crafting your value proposition, ask yourself “how do companies and
individuals benefit from doing business with me/” and “who is my
product/service/solution for?” It is important not to generalise about the type of
clients/customers you want to attract. Many people, when describing their target
audience, use the words “anyone” “someone” or ”everyone”. This is too vague.
Instead you should be specific in order to paint a clear picture of what type of
opportunities you are looking for. For example: family businesses, farm
businesses, home-based businesses, young married couples, retirees, mining
companies, architects, retailers, and so on.
•
We all think that we communicate clearly what we do, but few of us do this
well. Ask people in your network for their perception of what you do, for
whom and when people and companies need your help.
•
Practice, practice, practice. Spend enough time practicing your value proposition
so it sounds unrehearsed. Then you can really get your value across in your
networking and business development conversations. Your goal is to entice
your listener to want to know more.
Here’s a formula that might work for you. Create a simple, two-sentence answer to
the question “What do you do?” In your first sentence, specify your ideal
clients/customers and the biggest problem your business can help them solve. In your
second sentence, convey the biggest benefit or outcome people gain after they get
started doing business with you.
Here’s what I often say. “I work with service companies that need their people to be
better at generating business from networking.” or “I’m in the business of helping people
gain more clients and referrals from their networking activities.” Then I’ll follow this with
a negative-reverse question such as, ”I’m guessing that’s something that doesn’t even
remotely interest you?“ (This is designed to take all the pressure off the other person
and will most likely result in a truthful response.) If the response is something like
“you’re right”, then I drop what I do and ask and learn about them. (Remember, I’m
networking for advocacy. I’d like to earn their trust and their referrals down the track.) If
the person does show some interest, I’ll continue with a few words about the kind of
results/successes I create for my clients. For example, “My clients typically see
significant increases in sales and new business following the networking and
relationship building training I do for them.” If the person shows further interest, perhaps
asking, “how do you do that?” or a similar question, rather than shift into “sell” mode
and as so many people do, explain their product or service in detail, I’ll stay in
“marketing“ mode and provide an example that illustrates what I do and the benefits
enjoyed by my clients. “A recent financial services client was not getting nearly enough
referral business from accountants, lawyers and other business professionals. By
becoming more proactive in expanding and working their networks, however, they
started getting more referral business almost immediately. And by having a systematic,
well-thought-out referral process in place, I helped them to increase the rate of new
20
client acquisition fivefold in just three months. Now my client says they are getting all
the referrals they need and can handle.” Now, if the person is really interested and
wants additional information, I will suggest a more suitable setting where we can have a
more in-depth conversation. “Let’s find a good time to continue this conversation over a
cup of coffee together. Can I call you tomorrow to arrange a meeting?”
If I’m in conversation with a lawyer I’d say, “I help lawyers build productive referral
networks”. Ditto, accountants, financial planners, bankers, architects, etc. A variation of
this is, “I teach business and salespeople how to use networking to increase sales.”
Good questions lead to better conversations. The best conversationalists are
curious about everything. That’s why they are good at asking questions. Questions
allow you to find out about people. Questions help you establish a rapport with people
when you meet them for the first time. Questions help people feel good about having a
conversation with you. Questions build the “like you”, “trust you”, “rate you” factor.
Questions save you from those awkward moments of silence when conversations stall.
Here are ten of the best questions you can ask to make your networking conversations
more enjoyable and, ultimately, more profitable.
1. Have you come along way to be here?
Variation 1: Have you travelled far to get here?
Variation 2: Where have you come from to be here today?
Commentary: This is a simple, friendly opener that will work for you in any networking
situation.
2. What brings you along to this event? Or, What brought you out here
today/tonight?
Variation 1: What’s your interest in this seminar, conference (or whatever)?
Variation 2: What do you hope to learn/want from networking at this event?
Variation 3: Are you here for any particular reason?
Variation 4: What made you decide to attend this meeting?
Variation 5: How is it that you’re here at this event and not doing something
else?
Variation 6: How did you come to be here at……..? So who invited you to this
event?
Commentary: This is a good early question that is easy for the other person to
answer and it gives you context and purpose for their presence. Maybe there’s a
problem they are trying to solve. It might also help you to find things in common.
It’s a fact that others find you more interesting when you ask questions.
3. What is your connection with this group?
Variation 1: How do you know our host/s?
Variation 2: How did you hear about this event?
Variation 3: How do you know (speaker, organiser/sponsoring group of the
event?
Variation 4: How did you end up at an event like this?
Variation 5: How did you get involved in this group?
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Variation 6: How long have you been (a member of, involved with) (specific
group)?
Variation 7: How did you choose to join this organisation?
Commentary: Another good early question to get the conversation going. It might also
throw up common acquaintances and interests.
4. How do you find this whole networking thing? Do you much networking?
Variation 1: What do you like most about coming along to these types of
events?
Variation 2: What other events have you found helpful to attend?
Variation 3: Where else do you go to network? What other groups do you
belong to?
Variation 4: Have you been to a (meeting type) before?
Variation 5: How did you find out about this event?
Variation 6: Do you find these meetings helpful to your business?
Variation 7: What do you think of the show/meeting/event so far?
Variation 8: How did you find the speaker’s topic? If you get a short reply, follow
up with, What did you find most interesting about the presentation?
Commentary: This question helps to break the ice during that awkward period right
after introductions and offers the chance to talk about something common to both
parties.
It’s not about interrogation. You are not going to fire all
of these questions at someone in the one meeting.
5. What is your particular area of expertise?
Variation 1: What are the problems you solve and how do you do it?
Variation 2: What do you do differently or better than other similar
firms/business?
Variation 3: What separates you and your company/firm from your competition?
Variation 4: Tell me a little about your business/what you do?
Variation 5: What have you been doing today? What are you doing for the rest
of the day? What are you working on right now?
Commentary: This is a better way of asking a person straight out “What do you do?” It
allows you to find out what the person is really good at and how their business
compares to their competition. They’ll be pleased you asked.
6. How did you end up in the “widget” business?
Variation 1: What made you decide to become a nurse/lawyer/accountant?
Variation 2: How did you get started in the (fill in the type of business/profession
the person is in here) business?
Variation 3: You mentioned that you were in (industry/profession). What got
you started in that direction?
Variation 4: What led you into this profession? or How did you get into banking?
Variation 5: What was behind your decision to go into business for yourself?
Variation 6: How did you come up with the idea for your business?
Variation 7: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Variation 8: Did you always see yourself as an accountant/lawyer/(whatever)?
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Commentary: This question delves deeper, giving the person a chance to tell their
“story” which could provide some insightful and valuable information for you. It also
shows you are interested in the person and they will feel it.
7. What do you enjoy/like most about your business/job/what you do?
Variation: What is the most rewarding aspect of your business/line of work?
Commentary: It’s is a question that elicits a good, positive feeling and leads to a more
interesting conversation about the person’s business or work.
8. How’s work going for you?
Variation 1: What have you been working on today/lately? Anything interesting?
Variation 2: How is project X going?
Variation 3: What is your biggest business challenge right now?
Variation 4: What’s your big audacious goal for this year?
Variation 5: What are some of the bigger issues for your industry/profession
these days?
Variation 6: What’s occupying most of your time at work at the moment?
Variation 7: What’s keeping you busy?
Commentary: This tells you what is taking up room in the person’s diary and where
they might be frustrated or challenged—this information comes in useful for follow up
and might even uncover an opportunity for your services. It also gives the person a
chance to talk about the “great” things they are doing.
9. How am I going to know when I meet a really good prospect for you?
Variation 1: How would I recognize a good business opportunity for you?
Variation 2: Who would be a good prospect for me to connect you with?
Variation 3: What do you need/want for your business right now?
Variation 4: What kind of people are you looking to meet here?
Variation 5: What is the best way to refer business to you?
Variation 6: How would I recognise a good potential client for you and what
would I say to that person to describe what it is that you do?
Variation 7: Who is your ideal client/customer? Who are your best prospects?
Variation 8: What kind of people could I introduce you to that would help you
grow your business?
Commentary: Though there are many ways to help your network contacts, what you
can probably provide most frequently are leads, referrals and introductions. This
question and its variations helps you understand enough about the person’s business
to recognize an opportunity for them when you hear one. When you find yourself
asking questions like this, you will know that you are networking rightly.
Questions assist us in establishing rapport and making connections
because they oblige the other person to talk and open up.
10. How can I help you? or What can I help you with? You can’t just ask this
question. You have to mean it. And if someone does request your help, take action
on it. By asking and not following through you will do more damage to your
reputation than if you had just kept quiet in the first place.
Variation 1: What could I do to help you grow your business/get the word out
about your business?
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Variation 2: Who can I introduce you to here tonight?
Variation 3: How can I help drum up some business for you?
Variation 4: What is a good business opportunity for you?
Variation 5: I come across many people in my line of work (or, I think what you
do is great). What kind of person would be a good referral for you?
Commentary: Powerful stuff! The best way to start a relationship is to help someone.
This question must be asked sincerely and only after a measure of rapport has been
established. It is the one question that will separate you from the pack…and it will
lead to more referrals and more business.
If you want to get something from someone you
have to give them something first.
10.1 How do you feel about getting together next week for coffee? It would be
great to learn a bit more about your business and see if we can help each
other.
Variation 1: Why don’t I give you a call next week to arrange a meeting?
There could be a few ways we could work together and it would
help me to explore what opportunities you’re looking for as I
might be able to introduce you to a few people.
Variation 2: I have some thoughts that could help you with that, if you are
interested. Why don’t we get together for coffee sometime?
Variation 3: Can I give you a call next week to set up a time to talk in more
detail?
Variation 4: Would you like to get together on Friday and work through this
idea?
Commentary: This is a terrific way to finish a conversation with someone you have just
met. You have made a connection and now you would like to get to know the person
better. You are asking for permission to follow-up. And how easy is it going to be to
make that call: you have already agreed to a coffee catch-up. It is just a question of
setting a date. That’s why you went along to the event in the first place.
Obviously, asking these questions won’t help you to connect with people (and would be
shallow) if you don’t actually care about the answers. You need to approach networking
with a real commitment to listening and learning about others.
By asking the right questions and listening to what others
have to say, you WILL get to do more business.
Some personal questions to help you “engage” and “connect”…..
How have you been doing?
How’s your day going today?
Married?/ Kids?/ Plans in this area?
Tell me about your children (or family members).
What do you enjoy doing when you’re not working?
What do you do for recreation or hobbies?
How did you get involved in…?
Who helped you get involved in…?
What were you doing previously?
With what company did you work previously?
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What (did, do) you enjoy most about that?
What is the best thing you learned about that?
Where have you learned the most about…?
Who taught you the most about…?
What did you take away from the experience?
How has that impacted you?
What (was, is) the biggest challenge with that?
What advice would you give someone else about that?
What are your thoughts on…?
Tell me about yourself.
Where are you from? Did you grow up in the area?
What do you stand for?
What gadget or piece of technology can you not do without?
What do you want to leave behind when you leave the planet?
On a plane, “Are you travelling for business or pleasure?”
Some business questions…..
What have you got lined up for the weekend/rest of the day/week?
How’s work going for you?
How are things outside work going for you?
How did your company get involved in…?
What kind of challenges are you and your company facing?
What’s the most important priority to you and your company right now?
How have you been handling that?
How’s that working out?
What effect has that had on you/your company?
How did you overcome that?
How does that process work now?
What challenges does that process create?
What are the best things about that process?
What does everyone else at your company think about that?
What innovative (products, services) has your company introduced over the last couple
of years?
Talk about the culture you’re trying to foster at your company.
Can you elaborate? So how do you do that/make that happen?
How do you manage to get so much done?
What are some of the things that have helped you get where you are today?
What does it take to be successful in your position?
How are you able to juggle so many different responsibilities?
What advice would you give to someone who wants to achieve your level of success?
How did you build such a successful business?/such a large organisation?
How did you achieve your level of success?
What are the secrets behind the success of your business?
How did you become CEO of this company?
What do you do for fun?
How do you relax? What do you do in your spare time?
As busy as you are, how do you balance your work and personal life?
What successful people have been you mentors?
What businessman and businesswoman do you most admire?
Best advice you ever received?
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What trend are you on and what happens if it changes? (A good question to put to
CEOs and other senior execs. You’ll get them thinking with this question and they’ll like
you for asking it.)
So, what do you want to achieve next? (This question uncovers clues about how you
can help them get there.)
See my articles, “HOW TO SKILFULLY CONVERSE WITH OTHER PEOPLE” and
ENGAGING DURING CONVERSATION” for more of the very best questions to make
friends, build rapport and create new business opportunities.
Use your business cards wisely. There are people who believe that s/he who gives
out the most business cards wins the game. Networking doesn’t work like that. Give out
your business card only when there is good reason to. This means only when you and
the person you are networking with have discussed why you need to reconnect/talk
again later. Your networking will not be productive if you are handing out business cards
indiscriminately–it will either not help you make connections at all (your cards will go in
the bin) or will attract the wrong connections (e-mail spammers and other pushy
individuals trying to sell you stuff you don’t need). Moreover, successful people will not
have a positive impression of you if you’re firing out your business cards indiscriminately
as they will see this as an act of desperation or ignorance.
Challenge yourself not to give out your business cards
until you have identified a reason to exchange contact information.
Write notes, in private, on the back of the cards you receive, including the date, the
place and what you talked about. Make a note of anything else you think may be useful
in remembering the people you meet more clearly. This will come in handy when you
are following up with your contacts and help to ensure that you don’t get them mixed up
with someone else and have embarrassing encounters later on.
If I give you my card, I’m not inviting you to add me to your automated newsletter.
Always ask people for their permission to sign them up for your newsletter. It is
just rude to expect people to “opt out” of something they never opted into to start with.
It’s more important to get THEIR card than to give out yours. If you give your card to
someone, there’s every chance that it will get lost and you won’t hear from the person
again. On the other hand, if you can get their card, you can follow up the next day with
an e-mail, phone call or a hand-written note and start what could become a long-lasting
business relationship. Handing out your card to everyone within your reach is not
networking.It’s spamming. The rule of thumb is that if you give your card out only when
asked for it, you’ll be sure not to hand it out inappropriately.
When meeting someone for the first time, it is the natural inclination of most business
people to make sure they give out their card before the conversation is over. There is a
better way and a way that won’t appear that the only thing that you are concerned
with is getting something from them. Focus your attention on them by asking openended questions and adding to the conversation where appropriate. You don’t want to
seem like you are interrogating them, yet you do want to learn as much as you can
about them in the time you have together.
When the conversation/meeting is over, in private, write down some of the key points
that were discussed and this will give you everything you need to send a follow-up
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communication the next day, mentioning some of the key points from your chat. It is
impressive when someone gets an email or hand-written note like that. It shows people
that you were actually listening to them and that they are important to you. Your contact
details (i.e. your “electronic” business card) are there in your email signature. Or you
can drop your card in with the hand-written note. You might even wait for either a
second in-person meeting to give out your card or a second hand-written note to include
your card.
Bring a pen with you for making notes about your
conversations on the back of business cards you collect.
As you develop your relationship with the other party you will want to start to learn more
about them and what they do. This will put you in a position to serve them better and
keep an eye out for business you can refer their way. If you approach each new
relationship with the attitude of how you can help and serve this person, they will be
moved to do the same for you.
By not foisting your card on someone or going into an unsolicited sales-pitch about who
you are and what you do, it actually says more about you than words possibly could. Of
course, as your relationship grows you will want to share more about yourself and your
business just as you would expect the other party to do for you. This is how the pros do
it and it is a manner that doesn’t make you appear desperate or that you are only
concerned about yourself.
Your networking will not be productive if you are handing out
your business cards indiscriminately as if they were cheap flyers.
Want more referrals? Put “I welcome referrals”…..“Know someone
who needs what we/I do? Please send them our/my way”…..I’d be
delighted to meet your introductions”….. or “Happy to advise your
family and friends” on your business card and website.
Know how to end a conversation. Sometimes people find that ending a conversation
is more difficult than starting one. We don’t want to be rude or hurt the other person’s
feelings so we struggle to disengage. The good news is there are various polite ways to
exit a conversation when you’re looking to move on and meet others. Here are five of
them:
1. After you have listened to someone talk about their business, introduce the person
to someone else that might be of interest to them and then politely excuse
yourself. You could say something like this: “Jane, I’d like to take you over and
introduce you to Roger. He is also involved in the mining industry and I think the
two of you would have things in common to talk about.” After Jane and Roger
exchange pleasantries, you immediately exit the conversation by saying something
like, “Well you two probably have things to talk about. Roger, I’ll catch up with you
later and Jane it was great meeting you.”
Don’t stay too long with one person. Make a suggestion that
it would be useful for both of you to meet some other people in the room.
If you don’t know anyone else in the room, you can invite a complete stranger into
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your conversation. The way to do this is to turn to someone standing nearby and
say, “Would you like to join us for a while?” Now you have someone new to talk to.
2.
Sometimes, introducing your conversational partner to some one else isn’t an
option and you just have to excuse yourself. The way to do this is to state your
objective up front then excuse yourself to go and do it. For example. “I came along
this evening hoping to meet someone who (whatever), so I’m going wind
my
way around the room and see if there’s anyone like that here. I’ve enjoyed talking
with you.” Or, “I can only stay for a while and I want to talk with some people I
know here. Will you excuse me?” Or, “It’s my first time at one of these events for a
long while and I’d like to say hello to some of the other members too. It’s been
good chatting with you.”
Here are some more exits that will allow you to move on to your next
conversation:
“I want to go over and talk to…….Why don’t you join me and I’ll introduce
you?”
“Good meeting you. Will I see you at other meetings?
“I want to wander around and meet everyone. Nice talking to you.”
“I want to have a word with (person’s name).
“Good meeting you. Will I see you at more of these events?”
“I’d better move on/keep moving.” Shake hands and move on.
“I’d better let you move on/keep moving.”
”Do you have a business card? I’d love to be in touch.”
“I have something I need to ask (person’s name) about. Please excuse me.”
“Why don’t we go and meet some other people here.”
“Charles, I must get going. Catch you next time.”
“It’s been great meeting you. Will I see you at future meetings?”
“I’m sure there are other people here you’d like to meet”
“I should let you get back to your table.”
“I don’t want to monopolise your time”
“I shouldn’t keep you. I suppose you’d like to meet some other people.”
“It’s been good talking to you. Maybe I’ll see you a bit later.”
“Wow, this is quite an event don’t you think? Well we should probably keep
moving. It was great meeting you Brad.”
“This has been great, but we probably shouldn’t ignore everyone else.”
“My boss tells me to circulate when I’m at these events, so I’d better do that.
”I’m going to start saying my goodbyes. I’ve enjoyed talking to you.”
“I’m going to continue my search for someone who knows about widgets.”
“I want to catch up with a few more people before I head off for the
day/evening.”
“I’d like to continue meeting people”
“I see someone I need to speak with.”
“There’s a few more/some other people I’d like to talk to.”
“It’s been very interesting but I should let you mingle a bit and I’ve got
to say hello to some people too.”
“Sam, this is a networking event, so I better let you go and meet other
people.”
“I’ll let you get back to (whatever the person was doing prior to talking with
you). Enjoyed meeting you.”
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“I know you’re here to meet others so I won’t take any more of your
time.”
“We should probably keep moving. I enjoyed talking with you John.”
“I’m going to look for a friend who said she’d meet me here.”
“Thanks for letting me join you. I’d better keep moving.”
“I ought to say hello to some other people.”
“Lynne, if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to get a drink/try some of the food.”
“Maybe we should both talk to some other people now. It’s been good talking
with you.”
“I’m sorry Dave, but I must get going.”
If you’re one-on-one, and you really want to move on, try asking, “Have you
had a chance to meet some of the other people in the room” and offer to
introduce the person to someone you know. Clearly, this is not such a good
idea if the person is a bore as you will not be thanked for dumping them on
a colleague.
3. Ask your conversational partner to come with you. For example. “I want to ask the
the speaker a question. Want to come with me?” or “I want to get myself a drink.
Want to join me?” or “Let’s meet some people here.”
4. Create a follow-up opportunity. For example, “I’d like to hear more about your
business and tell you about some of the things we do for our clients. Would you
like to go for lunch or coffee sometime?” or “Let’s talk again and see if there’s
anything we can do to help each other.” or “Why don’t we continue this
conversation another time. Can I call you next week to arrange a meeting?” or
“This has been good. I think we might be able to help each other create some
business opportunities. Can I call you tomorrow to talk some more?” or “I wonder
if there are any ways in which we can collaborate with one another. Do you want to
have a longer conversation over coffee?”
5. You can always just keep it simple. “It was nice meeting you (person’s name).
Enjoy the event.” Shake hands and move on. There’s no need for further
explanations. Just be polite and you’ll disengage on a positive note.
5.1 One of the single best things that has helped my success with networking is by
ending every conversation with one of the following phrases:
“Please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”
“Please let me know if I can help you in any way.”
“It’s been nice getting to know you. If I can help you in any way at all, just
let me know.”
When you make this a habit, you will quickly build a valuable level of trust and
sincerity that will set you apart.
A few more thoughts……
If you meet someone who doesn’t feel right to you, just excuse yourself and move
on. Networking is about creating authentic connections, so don’t force yourself to
make friends with someone you don’t like. You can say something like, “I don’t
want to take up anymore of your time”, then shake hands and take your leave. Or,
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you could say that you need to speak to more people before you leave and excuse
yourself.
If the thought of bowing out of a conversation is difficult for you, just know that
you’re doing the other person a favour by freeing them up to talk to other people.
When exiting a conversation, use the person’s name. “Jason. I’ll give you a call in
the morning.” “It’s been good talking with you Julie.” Be straightforward and
honest. Don’t say you have to get back to the office and then be seen standing
around for the next 30 minutes talking to other people.
A good time to finish a conversation is right after you have been speaking, rather
than right after the other person has spoken. You risk appearing rude by breaking
off right after the other person has spoken.
Watch out for signs that the other person you are talking to wants to get away.
Shifting eye contact is a classic. Another is when the energy and enthusiasm of the
conversation is waning.
With practice, you get the hang of moving on.
For even more help with finishing up your conversations, see my articles entitled,
CONCLUDING A CONVERSATION: HOW TO DISENGAGE FROM PEOPLE and
84 WAYS TO WRAP IT UP WHEN IT’S TIME TO TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE.
Realise that people want to talk to others too. So don’t monopolise anyone
for too long. No more than 15 or 20 minute conversations is appropriate.
Staying top-of-mind. Most of the people you meet at networking events will not need
your product or service right now…but they may well do in the future. So how do you
make sure they remember you when they need you or when they have a friend who
needs you? The answer is, get their permission to add their name to your
mailing/newsletter list. That way you will have the opportunity to consistently be in front
of them.
True networking never looks like networking. If you’re networking the right way, you
are getting to know the people you’re networking with and letting them get to know you.
You are learning to understand their business and how you can help them achieve their
business goals and you’re educating them about your business and how they can help
you reach your goals. There’s nothing pushy about it. Instead of coming across like
someone who’s making contacts for mercenary and self-serving reasons, you’ll look like
a person who’s connecting with other people in a very real and mutually beneficial way.
Networking only works if you and the other person
take the time to get to know each other.
Get on a first-name basis with the host. The host is the best connected person in the
room as s/he is the one who brought everyone together. Seek out the host, strike up a
conversation and make the connection. A good host will point you in the direction of
some key people s/he feels you should know. A really good host will make the
introductions personally. You can even ask the host to introduce you to someone you
particularly want to meet. Being introduced by the host makes it easier to connect with
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people. When it’s time to leave, find your host and express your thanks for the invitation
and say goodbye. The next day, send a “thankyou” to the host.
Say your all goodbyes. As you’re leaving the event, go around to the people you’ve met
and say goodbye, confirming any promises you made to them earlier. Keep it short and
positive.
Networking events aren’t the only place to make connections. Everywhere you go
is a networking opportunity. It’s simply a matter of being friendly and initiating
conversations. Unplanned encounters at your kid’s sporting events, in line at the bank
or supermarket, on a plane, in restaurants, at parties and so on provide opportunities to
be capitalised on or lost. When you assume that everyone is a potential valuable
contact and you are prepared to initiate a conversation you increase the potential for
your own success.
Big opportunities have a way of appearing in
the most unlikely of places. It’s called serendipity.
Networking is a way of life, not just another event you schedule in your diary.
Growing your network is something you have to work at continually if you want to make
a success of it. You should always be on the lookout to meet new and interesting
people. If you are friendly and have the right motives this can be easy and fun. By
seeking to be helpful and useful to others, you will not only meet more people but also
see a noticeable improvement in your networking results.
Some things are better done in person and networking is definitely one of them.
Regardless of how technology advances, face-to-face interaction continues to be the
best way to make solid connections and drive business development and growth. You
get so much more done face-to-face. Conversations are more effective, non-verbals
make things more clear and human (55% of our communication is body language) and
it’s just plain true that people still put more value in real life human contact than they put
into words in a tweet, post or text. It will always be this way. Phone calls and emails are
fine and there is a place for on-line networking, but nothing beats face-to-face
networking. Nothing. Not ever. At all. Period! Take the time to get out there and shake
some hands and engage in conversations. You will create plenty of opportunities to do
more business. Chances are that your local Chamber of Commerce, Business
Association or Rotary Club has some great real-life business-building opportunities
awaiting you. The bottom-line benefits of getting involved in such organisations will far
outweigh the cost in time and a few dollars.
Don’t get so involved with on-line networking sites like LinkedIn,
Twitter and Facebook that you cut back on in-person networking. Nothing
beats face-to-face conversation for making strong business connections.
You will do more business with in-person, face-to-face networking!
In-person networking creates real, in-depth relationships
in a way that social media does not.
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According to research, 90 percent of communication is conveyed through
non-verbal actions and behaviours. You can stay in touch by phone
or e-mail, but a face-to-face conversation builds rapport and
trust like no other interaction or communication. That
is the basis for the most productive relationships.
You get to spend more time with your contacts by meeting them in
person. This gives you a better opportunity to establish rapport,
ask more questions and make an impression. That means
you are more likely to be remembered. And that
means you are more likely to get referrals.
Warning. I’ve seen people who replace in-person networking completely with online
networking. THAT DOES NOT WORK! You have to put the face-to-face element into
your networking and relationship building. Who’s going to buy from/hire/refer someone
from an e-mail/online relationship? I’m more inclined to do business with or refer
someone whom I have previously met in person. And so is just about everyone else,
including you.
Are you on LinkedIn? LinkedIn is not a game to “accumulate” names. I get bombarded
by invitations to join people’s networks on LinkedIn from people whom I’ve never met
before, had no interaction with and worst of all—in their invitation message they give me
no compelling reason to be associated with them or they don’t even suggest we meet
for coffee (or get on the phone) to explore potential opportunities for mutual gain. What
does this say about these people? Who are they trying to add to their network, by using
this method? How are they planning to use their network, accepting people they don’t
know or hardly know into it? And how strong do they think such a network will be, when
they need it? For example, when they are looking for a job, and need a reference from a
person in their network they haven’t met and had nothing to do with. Or when they are
trying to get an appointment with a targeted prospect and want a referral or introduction
from someone in their network who knows little or nothing about them. (For the record, I
will accept an invitation to connect with someone on LinkedIn only if I have met them
previously and it was a positive experience. I will also invite the person to go for coffee,
lunch or a drink after work to reinforce the connection. For your “online” connections to
be solid and valuable, there really needs to be an “offline” component to them.)
When you invite someone to join your network on LinkedIn, explain why
you want to connect with that person. Don’t just use the standard
connection script. Some people might accept all invites
but your “best” contacts only accept invites if
there is a compelling reason to do so.
All too often, online networking is lacking in intimacy and
sincerity. I seems to me, that increasing use of the internet and other
communication technologies are to blame for declining
relationships among networks of people.
Take the time to get to know members of your LinkedIn network. Ask them to
meet with you in person. It helps to build the relationship.
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Big question: Are you substituting an e-mail, tweet, post or text for in-person, face-toface activities, thinking that is going to grow relationships and your business? Consider
the following……. In 15 minutes you can learn more about someone and they about you
in person than in six months online. Finding common ground comes much easier from
having a conversation on the phone or in person. And making decisions on what the
next step is and putting a plan in motion can happen in one minute on the phone or in
person as opposed to multiple e-mails.
Learn to blend your online and offline networking activities. If you meet someone online
and strike up an online relationship that has value and interest to you, then take it offline
to enhance that relationship and help it progress. If you meet in person, then stay
connected online to enhance the relationship and help it progress until you meet in
person again.
The key to successful business networking is GENEROSITY. Those who are
successful at networking know that networking is never simply about getting what you
want. It’s about getting what you want AND making sure that the people who are
important to you get what they want too. What I’m talking about here is friendship.
Friends help each other.
At networking events, think “what am I here to give”.
The name of the game of networking is give, give, give. It makes
getting that in-person meeting, that referral, that personal
introduction, that favour you want so much EASIER.
There is a principle of reciprocity in networking that is very powerful. It is simply this: if
you do something nice for someone else, they will be moved to reciprocate, to “even up”
the relationship by doing something nice for you. Reciprocity begins with an act of
generosity with no expectation of anything in return.
Reciprocity is a wonderful thing. By and large, if you take the time and effort to
show interest in someone else’s business and offer advice and referrals to them,
you will receive the same back from them at some stage. It may take time, but any
relationship worth having generally does take time to build. If you approach
networking thinking you will get a quick return then you will find yourself asking
“Why is this highly touted tactic so frustrating?”
Acts of generosity benefit the giver in a “pay it forward” manner. This creates more
benefits than the effort takes…just one small favour could be a powerful catalyst in the
growth of your business. Think about how you can help your network contacts. Can you
introduce them to a business opportunity or an opportunity to speak publicly or to be on
a panel? Do you have some great resource that they could benefit from? What one
piece of useful information or advice could you give them? Continually ask yourself
“What can I do to help this person?” This is what makes networking work for you.
A big part of networking is about “paying it forward” and reaping the rewards
of others wanting to help you back. Not because they feel they owe
you but because they just want to. Isn’t that the way you are?
Here are just a few things you can do to help those who are important to you:
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•
Post their information on your website or in your newsletter. Benefit: You help
promote them and their business.
•
Invite them to attend an event with you. Benefit: You help them increase who
they know.
•
Let them know about a meeting of a professional organisation, a networking
event, a speaker or some other event you think will interest them. Benefit: You
help them increase who they know.
•
Recommend a book they will enjoy. Benefit: You nurture the connection.
•
Send an article you know will interest them.
•
Provide insight or advice about a challenge they are facing.
•
Buy them lunch. Benefit: You get to know them better. They will like you for that.
•
Ask them to contribute to your firm’s newsletter or another newsletter you know
about that would be relevant to their business. Benefit: You help them gain
visibility and credibility.
•
Nominate them for recognition and awards. Benefit: You honour them. Powerful!
•
Send their information in your next client mailing. Benefit: You spread the word
about them.
•
Introduce them to a potential client or referral source. Benefit: You increase
their business revenues. This is the most powerful and rewarding way to
network.
•
With their permission, quote them in one of your articles as an expert. Benefit:
You enhance their reputation.
•
Invite them to speak at an organization in which you are involved. Benefit: You
open doors to new opportunities for them.
•
Ask them to speak at a training session your company is hosting. Benefit: You
help them gain visibility.
•
Ask them if they’d like a recommendation on a professional networking site such
as LinkedIn. Benefit: Who doesn’t want to be recognised favourably and publicly?
Your efforts on behalf of others will often encourage them
to be on the lookout for opportunities they can bring your way.
The BEST way to get a referral is to GIVE one.
I caught up with my friend Mario for coffee recently. Not long into the conversation Mario
said, “So Ron, how can I help drum up some business for you?” We spent the next 15
minutes identifying potential buyers of my services who Mario knew and would be
happy to introduce me to. Then we spent another 15 minutes exploring who I knew that
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Mario wanted to meet for his business. That’s friends helping each other for you and it
all started with Mario’s act of generosity. Are you generous enough to your friends?
Friends helping each other with introductions and referrals
beats the hell out of cold calling for appointments with decision makers.
Never forget that real networking is always a 2-way street for you and the other person.
Keep listening to those you meet and for ways to help them or notice if they have
something useful for one of your contacts. This is not a selfless act of philanthropy or
being unrealistically optimistic. It is sound relationship-building practice that consistently
generates profitable returns. Your contacts will always be grateful for your help and will
be even more likely to keep their eyes and ears open for the chance to repay your
kindness.
And doesn’t doing a favour for a friend just make you feel good anyway?
Follow up with those good connections you have made. Attending networking
events is worth little if it doesn’t result in actual relationships and business. Why would
you undo all the good work you did in meeting new people by not following up and
expanding those initial conversations?
You have 24 to 48 hours to follow up. After that it is often too late!
Few people follow up with their new contacts. When you commit to diligently following
up your new contacts, you will stand apart from the rest and take a big step towards
building a strong network that will supply you with a steady stream of business and
referrals.
You can go to 20 networking events a month, but if you don’t
follow up with those good connections you’ve made, it’s all for nothing.
Following up is easy when you create a reason to follow up. If you are asking good
questions and really listening during your networking conversations, you are more likely
to hear a need that you can help with later. Then, based on the need you picked up on,
you can call or e-mail your new contact with an idea, a resource or piece of information
that they will find helpful. Make sure it is something they actually want and is not just
about your product or service, unless, of course, they have specifically asked for that
information.
A good time to create a reason to follow up
is during your initial conversation.
When you meet someone interesting and with whom a potential relationship exists,
consider following up with an invitation to join your network on LinkedIn. They get to see
everything about you and vice-versa, including shared connections and other
information that can move your relationship forward faster.
If you are unable to identify a need and you still want to follow up with the person, here
are 9 easy follow-up actions you can take:
1. Connect them (electronically) to someone you think they would like to meet.
2. Forward an article on a topic that will interest them.
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3. Invite them to coffee so that you can “hear more about what they do” and brief
them on some of the things you’ve been able to do for individuals like them.
4. Invite them to an event you are attending.
5. Invite them to connect with you on LinkedIn.
6. Follow them on Twitter.
7. Send them a friend request on Facebook.
8. Forward information on a seminar or event they might find of interest.
9. Introduce them to an opportunity that will help increase their profits.
10. Link them to useful resources.
The best follow-up from a networking event is one that provides value to the
recipient. If you have taken the time to learn and understand what might be useful to
your new contacts and you are generous with your contacts and resources, you will find
it much easier to follow up with them.
Do not use the first contact after a networking event as an opportunity to pitch
your business. “Hi John. Nice to meet you and by the way if you are looking for (your
product or service) I can help you.” That not-so-subtle approach says, “I’m not really
interested in you unless you want to buy from me”. An experienced networker knows it
may take a few conversations to move into sales mode but when you get there, you
have a better chance of success.
I go to a lot of networking events throughout the year. So I give out a lot of business
cards. Often after an event I will get an e-mail from someone I’ve met that reads like
this….”It was great meeting you at------event. If you ever have a need of our services in
the future don’t hesitate to call me”. “Visit my website at www.” This is no way to follow
up with anyone—impersonal, no value provided. Generic messages of this kind read
like spam and are likely to annoy the receiver.
If you move into sales mode too quickly,
you may ruin any chance you have of making a sale.
Just as you would rather do business with people you know, like and trust,
others want to do business with you for the same reason.
It’s only when you sit down one-to-one with people that you
begin to find areas of commonality and synergy. And it’s only when
people get to like and trust you that they will start to feel that you are
someone they can do business with or refer their friends to.
You need an effective follow-up action plan. When you go to networking events, you
will leave with piles of business cards. What you do with those cards is critical to getting
results. With too many people, those cards end up sitting around for months and
nothing is done about them. If you don’t have a follow-up plan you will become
overwhelmed with the amount of cards piling up. Essentially, at that point, the cards and
contacts you have spent all that time and money making becomes useless.
Follow-up is an ongoing process. Don’t think you need to make a sale or get
referrals from your first or second contact with someone.
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As a rule, people won’t buy from you or refer business to you after an initial meeting at a
networking event, so you will need to re-connect with them a number of times before
you’ll see results. Statistics show that we need to contact (reach out to) potential clients
and referral sources 4 to 8 times (sometimes less, but rarely) before they actually
become a client/customer or consider referring any business our way. This means
sending e-mails, making phone calls and meeting in person with your contacts to build
the layers of trust needed for successful revenue-generating relationships. Your
networking follow-up should strive to create value in people’s lives by helping
them to solve problems, by connecting them to other people who can help them
and by sending them helpful pieces of information they can use to achieve their
goals and overcome their challenges. This is how you get more business and
referrals to flow to you.
Big questions: Do you have a contact management system so you can follow up with
those good connections you make? And, do you have a process for staying in touch
after the initial follow-up?
Don’t include a sales pitch for someone to buy your products or
services in your initial follow-up communication unless
that person has specifically asked for them or
indicated a need for them.
Don’t ask someone to meet up to learn more about their business and then spend
the entire time talking about your business. If you invite someone to learn about
their business, stick to that agenda. If the other person asks about your
business then you can talk about it. Too often people use learning about
someone’s business as a trick or plot to pitch their own products or services.
Follow-up, done rightly, turns people you have met into people you know. When you
meet someone you’d like to know better, someone you think could become a
networking ally, invite them to meet you for coffee, lunch or a drink after work and
discuss the details of each other’s business further. Here are some sample follow-up
notes that might suit the situation for you……
Hi John,
It was great meeting you at the Local chambers networking lunch yesterday. We
should meet up for coffee/lunch sometime in the next two or three weeks. When
are you free?
By the way, I noticed on your website that your company sells XYZ services to
ABC businesses. I know a few people that could be interested in your services.
If you’d like, I’d be happy to make some introductions for you. Regards.
Hi Jane,
I enjoyed meeting you at the networking breakfast today. We seem to have a bit in
common and, if you’re interested, I’d like to have a longer chat with you at some
point.
If we get to know each other better, maybe we can be helping each other find
some fresh business opportunities by introducing one another to people we know.
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Indeed, based on our conversation this morning, it seems to me that I probably
know some people who could be interested in your services.
I’ll try calling you during the next week or so to see if you’d like to go for a coffee.
Of course, you’re welcome to call me if you have a free moment. Cheers.
Hi Rob,
It was a pleasure to meet you at……..
Regrettably, we did not get much time to talk and, if you have the time, I would
appreciate catching up with you and finding out a bit more about your work at ABC
Company.
I’ll try calling you early next week to see if we can arrange a time to get together.
Cheers.
Your follow-up doesn’t always have to relate to business…….
Hi Mary,
It was nice to meet at…..
I remember you talked about your love of Thai food. I’m attaching a link to a great
website that features all Thai restaurants in town. Cheers. (By doing this, at the
very least you will get a response, and at the very most, you will establish a brandnew networking connection.)
Remember, the initial meeting following the event is NOT a sales call—it should be a
relationship building session. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Use this meeting to learn more
about the person’s business, their issues and challenges and, yes, how your company
can be of assistance. The key hear is to ask questions and LISTEN. As you show
interest in them and their business, they are more likely to become interested in you and
your business. Your goal at this meeting is to “end the conversation with the future in
mind”. In other words, create a commitment and obligation to do something.
Whether, it’s something you are going to do for each other, something you are going to
do for them or something they are going do for you. This gives you a reason to stay
connected and helps to build relationship momentum. As you follow through with
ongoing e-mails, phone calls and in-person meetings your contact is more likely to work
with you or refer someone else to you.
Follow-up begins at the event during the conversations you have.
You need to personalise your follow-up
communication by mentioning something you
spoke about. A generic “Nice to meet you” won’t cut it.
Make notes on the back of cards you
collect so you remember your conversations.
38
If you really connected with someone
clearly state your interest to keep in contact.
Are you on LinkedIn? When you meet someone interesting and with whom a potential
relationship exists, consider following up with an invitation to join your network of
contacts on LinkedIn. They get to see everything about you and vice-versa (if they are
also on LinkedIn), including shared connections and other information that can move
your relationship forward faster.
For further help and advice on making your networking follow-up easier and more
rewarding, see my article, “EFFECTIVE FOLLOW-UP FOR SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS
NETWORKING”
And some final thoughts to leave you with……
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Say thankyou a lot…..and put it in writing.
Actively look for opportunities to connect people you think will benefit from
knowing each other.
After the event, review whether or not you met your objectives and identify
where you might improve.
Set a target number of events to attend (one a month, quarter, etc).
Join a networking /referral group.
Attend events for parallel/allied industries.
Attend one or two events a year that are out of your normal parameters,
exposing you to new people who you may never have thought might be
helpful.
Look for ways to network beyond networking events. Sometimes the best
connections are made when there’s no pressure to network. Be friendly
and look for opportunities to connect with others wherever you go.
Help your clients, prospects and other contacts get more business.
Effective networking will do much more to grow your business than cold
calling or any well-designed brochure.
Make keeping in touch with your key contacts part of your daily
routine.
Take the time once a week to have lunch with someone who is important to
you.
Attend at least one networking event a week– this will help you keep
your commitment to networking: you will build a momentum for
gathering leads and contacts which will keep your business pipeline
filled on a permanent basis.
Get to know your contacts better. The more you know
about someone, the easier it is to make connections for
them and uncover opportunities for your services. There
are four things I like to get to know about my business
friends. 1. Who their family members are and what
they’re about. 2. What their interests are outside their
work. 3. What their talents are, their skills, their
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successes, their achievements—I can’t advocate them
and their business without knowing this vital
information. 4. Who THEY know, who they do business
with,
what
memberships
they
have,
what
boards/committees they sit on—this tells me who I want
them to introduce me to.
Let your contacts get to know you better. The more they
know about you, the easier it is for them to make
connections for you.
Ask your contacts to introduce you to people they know.
Be a connector. It’s important to make connections between people you
know and people you just met. If you meet someone who would benefit
from someone you know, make the connection. (It’s always best if you
arrange a 3-way meeting where you can make the connection in person.)
While it’s important that you get to know your existing contacts better, you
also need to meet new people and grow your circle of influence.
The sooner you can find common ground with someone, the sooner the
barriers between you disappear.
Unless you get to know your contacts, you will never know who they can
put you in touch with.
Reciprocate. Give something back to anyone who gives you something.
Show up early. If the invitation says 5.30pm for 6.00pm, get there at
5.30pm. The first half hour is often the most productive for networking.
Stay a little late. Some of your best contacts will be made when the
“official” part of the event is over and in the final moments prior to their
departure.
As you leave the event, send a text message to those good
connections you made, saying you enjoyed meeting them.
At the end of the day, we go to networking events so we can grow our businesses. We
meet people and (by following up and staying in touch) build relationships so we will
receive referrals from them over time. And if they recognise that they struggle from the
problems you can resolve, they’ll buy from us too. What this article is about is how to do
it well so you can increase your marketing, business development and sales success.
Although increased sales/business is the end goal, we don’t engage in business
networking to sell. We do it to find and develop authentic relationships/friendships with
people who we can help and who can help us. When we detach ourselves from the
need to make a sale and focus on how we can help others to succeed and prosper, we
contribute to their success as well as our own.
You need to get out there and meet people, if you want to grow and
sustain your business. There’s a direct correlation between
the hours you spend making connections and
profit. The more hours, the more profit.
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Remember these guidelines when you venture out of your office into the world of
networking functions and events. Make the most of the time you spend while you’re
there.
I hope this helps. I have personally found that by implementing the strategies and
tactics laid out in this article my networking efforts have consistently resulted in real
business, real relationships and real referrals. Both my business life and personal life
have benefited and I hope yours will too!
Happy networking. Maybe we will see each other at a networking event some day.☺
Now that you’re better equipped to make those all-important network connections, the
challenge is how to successfully transform your connections into revenue-generating
relationships. For real-world answers and solutions to this challenge, read my articles
entitled ”EFFECTIVE FOLLOW-UP FOR SUCCESSFUL NETWORKING” and
“TRANSFORMING YOR CONTACTS INTO BUSINESS”.
Referred to as “That Networking Guy” by many organizations, Ron Gibson
provides in-depth networking training and coaching, focusing on business
growth and development. Get Ron to speak at your next conference or
sales meeting about how to bring in more business, more consistently and
more often. Ron can be reached on mobile 0413 420 538 and email
[email protected]
“We can attribute tens of millions of dollars in additional sales and new business
to the networking skills training programs that Ron Gibson has run for our
people.”
— Norm Roberts General Manager,
Mobile Lending Perth CBD and Mt Lawley
ANZ Banking Group
Footnote: Through the years my experience has been that many (around 30%) of my most profitable
relationships established with other business people began while networking at events, breakfasts,
lunches, social outings, etc. These are not people I see on a regular basis, just like minded individuals
that I have had the good fortune to meet once or twice then stay in touch with via e-mail monthly,
quarterly or in some case just a couple of times a year. The common factor in all cases though is that I
have followed up and met with the individual face-to-face, usually over a cup of coffee, for a substantive
conversation. My point here is that not all of your future business and opportunities will come from strong
relationships you have with the likes of strategic partners, referral allies and long-standing clients and
customers. So if you’re not continually meeting new people and following up and staying in touch with
them, you’re missing out on getting a ton of new business….It’s that simple.
making your networking more profitable
PO Box 693, CLAREMONT WA 6910 ABN 53 080 023 052
Phone: (08) 9284 2464 Mobile: 0413 420 538 Email: [email protected]
You need to get out there and meet people to generate business….
HOW TO ENJOY AND GET THE MOST
OUT OF BUSINESS NETWORKING EVENTS
....by Ron Gibson
In business, personal connections are everything. People prefer to do business with
those they have previously met or who have been recommended to them by people
they know. This is strong incentive for business people and professionals of every kind
to build their personal networks.
The most successful people in business are invariably the best connected.
Having connections makes growing a business so much easier.
During a weak economy, the businesses that have built a network survive
and prosper when other businesses are struggling. In troubled times
people with a strong and expansive network have a circle of
people they can call on for referrals and opportunities.
To say you don’t have the time to get out there and meet people because you’re
busy with work today, means that when you’re not busy tomorrow and you’re
looking for business to keep the revenues flowing, you’ll have hard time
of making it happen. Why? Because you won’t know enough people
to contact and offer your products or services or ask for that
introduction to the “buyer” you want to get in front of.
One of the best ways to meet people who can help you grow your business is by
attending networking events. These might be “after-hours” meetings hosted by your
local chamber of commerce, lunches organised by industry groups, business breakfasts
and the myriad social functions associated with conferences, seminars, trade shows
and so on.
Networking at events can open a lot of doors
for both yourself and your business.
(The good thing about a networking event is the informal and relaxed setting you’re in –
it’s an atmosphere where people who might be interested in your business are more
comfortable to talk with you because both of you are outside the “buyer/seller” context.
When you cold call potential ”buyers” and potential “referral sources” they generally
have their defences up because they feel like they are being sold to. What’s more, at a
networking event, hard to get to decision makers are free from their gatekeepers who
screen their calls and e-mails.)
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The value of networking events cannot be denied or overlooked
as a critical way to meet people who can take your business to the next level.
Attending networking events is one thing. But making the most of them is quite another
and requires the ability to connect with others and engage them in a way that makes
them interested in conversing with you. The questions that you ask, the ideas you bring
to the table and your people skills combined with your networking strategy and your
willingness to give of yourself first (before you ask for anything) are the fundamentals of
what it takes to make solid connections for business.
Networking, done rightly, can generate the lion’s share of your business.
As you read this article, you will gain insight to my philosophy of networking and get
practical, real-world how-to advice on how to make the most of networking events,
conferences and other face-to-face opportunities.
Advertising, brochures, websites and on-line networking via LinkedIn and
Twitter all have a potential role in the growth of your business, but
nothing can consistently connect you with prospects and land
you new business like face-to-face networking can.
Where to go? The best events for networking are the ones your ideal clients/customers
and referral sources go to. (There’s an old and true saying in sales and it goes
something like this: when you’re hunting elephants, find out where they gather and go
there.) Most people in business belong to an industry or trade association. Simply ask
your clients and referrers what meetings they go to and ask if you can tag along with
them. At the meeting, have your client/referrer introduce you to people they know. And if
anyone asks what you are doing there, tell them you want to learn more about the
industry and to meet people and get to know them.
You are 100% missing out on good business if you
aren’t going to networking events. But you need to choose the “right” events.
If you’re at the right event, you’re bound to see someone you must speak to.
The sheer number of networking events happening in any given month can be
overwhelming, so choose the type of events most suited to you. If you’re not a morning
person, breakfast meetings may not be your thing. If you don’t like mixing and mingling
at after-hours drinks gatherings, find another kind of event. It’s more productive, not to
mention, more enjoyable to find organisations with activities you enjoy at a time of the
day that works for you. Keep in mind that all networking does not have to be workrelated. Beyond meetings and functions organised by your local chamber of commerce
and business/industry association and networking/referral groups like BNI and
Rainmakers, you can make valuable connections with like-minded people by joining a
civic organisation like Rotary, by getting involved with a charity or community group, by
joining a sporting or leisure club, by starting your own networking group or by taking a
course or class of some kind. (For more ideas on where to go to expand you’re your
circle of contacts and connections, read my article entitled, NETWORKING
OPPORTUNITIES ABOUND:42 WAYS TO RAISE YOUR PROFILE IN YOUR LOCAL
COMMUNITY.
3
Getting out to networking events will do more to build your business than making
cold calls, advertising and spending money on a website or well-designed
brochure.
My philosophy of networking. The ability to network, and network well, is one of the
biggest factors in business and personal success. For me, networking is about making
friends and building real (strong and authentic) relationships. There are no tricks or
systems. A great network is formed by a genuine desire to meet and get to know people
and, most importantly, help them to succeed and prosper. The more friendships and
relationships you have, the more clients you’ll have, the more business you’ll have. It’s
as simple as that. The hardest part is making the effort.
I like being friendly. I’m almost always the first person to say hello and initiate a
conversation. I believe that most people are friendly and are happy to talk to me. I
believe if I focus the conversation on the other person (rather than on myself), listen to
what they say and add to the conversation where appropriate, I will likely make a good
connection.
Be yourself. Talk real, act real, be real and you will
find that good things will follow.
I believe that most people go to networking events to better themselves and their
business. If I can help them move closer to meeting their goals then it could be the start
of a good relationship that will better me and my business too.
I believe that until people get to know me better and realize that I can help them in some
meaningful way, they are probably more interested in themselves. I believe helping
people helps me. If people see having a relationship with me can be useful to them,
they will work at making the relationship useful to me. Giving begins the process of
receiving. I believe that if I make myself valuable to others they will want to make me
part of their network.
Successful networking should be genuinely selfless and
altruistic, always giving referrals, making introductions and opening
doors for others without remembering your simple favours or keeping score.
I know that it is up to me to make people aware of what my business is about. I know
that the chances of getting a referral are greatly increased if people understand exactly
what I do and the problems I solve. I also know that I’m kidding myself if I think that by
just doing good work for my clients I’m going to get all the referrals I want. I’ve learned
that I need to be doing something every day to make referrals continually happen and
this includes reminding certain individuals that their referrals and introductions are
important to me.
I work hard at trying to give three or four quality referrals a week. I’m always on the
lookout for people to connect. When you constantly look out for opportunities to put
people together those opportunities easily appear. I never feel bad about asking for
referrals and introductions because I’m always giving them.
When I go to networking events, I’m always on the lookout for people who I can connect
to my clients and others I know. These actions are a great way to build your reputation
as a well-connected and respected individual. You will also start to attract more
4
opportunities for yourself and your business. If you are not sure what will come of the
referral or introduction that you are making simply state that up front and then follow up
by saying that you think the connection could be helpful and briefly describe how.
Giving starts the process of receiving.
For me, real networking is more about what happens after you meet someone rather
than the initial meeting itself. The key to getting the results you want from networking
events is meeting people afterwards and getting to know them better and keeping in
touch.
What are networking events for anyway? Networking events are great for meeting
new people, but they are not the place to bend someone’s ear for an extended period.
That initial encounter should be just about rapport building, discovering common ground
and creating interest in taking the conversation further. Your goal is to start a
conversation or relationship that can be continued at a later date. It’s the follow up
and ongoing e-mails, phone calls and in-person meetings that turn new networking
contacts into relationships and transform relationships into business.
Networking is about helping people. This is the most basic rule and the reason
selfish people fail at networking. Call it karma or whatever you like. What goes around,
comes around. Your networking success will depend on how successful you are at
helping others. Think about it. If you cannot or will not help others who can live
comfortably without you, why should they go out of their way to help you?
The most important concept that will help you get the most out of your networking
efforts is to understand that you can provide value and be helpful to others without
selling them your products or services. When you meet someone you like, ask yourself,
“How can I help this person?” “What one piece of information or advice could I give this
person?” “Who can I introduce this person to?”
Everyone goes to a networking event to better themselves in some way. When
you’re meeting people, the question you have to ask yourself is, “How can I
make this person better off as a result of connecting with me?”
I like to get my contacts to tell me about a business challenge they are grappling with.
That way, I might know somebody who can help…and that’s a good way to start a new
relationship.
For networking to work for you, you must have an attitude of helping people.
A good networking conversation is one where you
find out how you can help each other.
People respond to anyone who will help them get what they want. So find out
how you can help as many people as you can. Become their lead source,
referral source, information source. They will be motivated
reciprocate by helping you get what you want.
Make it known to your contacts that you are interested in helping them and serving
them. If you do this consistently in your conversations and electronic communications
5
your reputation will rise dramatically and, as a result, you will attract more business and
referrals.
What you can do for people means nothing
until you take action to follow through and do it.
Have an objective when you go to a networking event. That way, you will feel more
purposeful and find your actions more directed instead of wandering around the room
aimlessly. It could be that you’d like to meet a certain individual whom you know will be
attending. Maybe you choose to find two potential referral sources for your business or
for a friend’s business. Perhaps you’d like to meet the speaker or re-connect with a
certain someone you met at last month’s meeting and who you’d like to get to know
better. If you cannot come up with a specific goal for the event, introduce yourself three
or four people and learn about their businesses and then make them aware of yours,
which is an excellent goal for almost any networking occasion. Don’t leave until you
achieve your goal/s.
Identify specific people you want to meet or talk with.
Determine how many conversations you want to
initiate and the number of post-event meetings you want to set up.
If you can have a meaningful conversation with two or
three people and agree to talk again later, then you’ve had a successful event.
It’s about quality contacts versus quantity. When I go to a networking event, my aim
is to make two to four meaningful contacts and invite them to meet me for coffee. It’s
incredible what can happen over a cup of coffee. A good conversation in a relaxed
setting often leads to good business and referrals for me.
Often, people are tempted to distribute and collect as many business cards as possible
during a business event. You will get better results by setting a goal of making between
two and five new contacts at each networking event you attend. By limiting the number
of contacts, you are able to focus on quality connections, deeper conversations and
building rapport and trust with each person.
If you’re not sure why you’re going to an event or if your heart just isn’t in it, your
time is better spent elsewhere. Many people show up to events late, sit by
themselves, speak only to people they know and then sneak out
early. These people leave thinking, “Well that was a waste
of time”, when actually it was a wasted opportunity.
You are there to meet people. I have attended many networking events where groups
of people would just sit at one table or stand around together and talk amongst
themselves. That’s a waste of time and opportunity. Whenever I go to a networking
event with a colleague, we split up to meet new people.
Being on your own allows you to focus on why you
are there and that is to meet other people.
It’s up to you to connect. So be proactive. Don’t just stand around waiting for others
to approach you. Even if you are reserved by nature, now is the time to break out of
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your comfort zone. Everyone else in the room is there for the same reason as you and
that is to meet others. So take comfort in knowing that nobody is going to snub you, if
only because you might somehow be of value to them.
Getting along to networking events can seem daunting at first, but
only if you let it. Once you get started going to these events
you will find them to be rewarding experiences.
Maybe you have some feelings of apprehension at events with people you don’t
know? Realise you’re not alone. If you ask most people who attend business
networking events, they will tell you (if they were being honest) that there are certainly
some feelings of anxiety and uncertainty when it comes to meeting new people. Rather
than thinking that you’re the only one in the room who’s not feeling right at home,
instead understand that you are amongst the majority of people who feel the same way
you do.
If you’re going to talk to people you already know, make
sure it fits with your objective, not just because you feel safe.
Here are some insights and tips to help you enjoy yourself more, have better
conversations and create more opportunities when you’re meeting new people:
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Initiate conversations with a simple “Hello there. I haven’t met you yet.” or “Hello
there. I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m…….” or “ Hi. We haven’t met. I’m……”
(said with enthusiasm) is generally the way to go, rather than trying to figure
out the perfect opener. If you are on your own, you could start with something like,
“I’m here by myself, do you mind if I join you for a while?”
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What do you say after “Hello”? I like use the context. The place I’m in, the event
I’m at often gives me fodder to get the conversation going. And I like to lead with a
simple, non-threatening question. If it’s my first meeting with a new group, I’ll say
something like, “Nice to meet you John. This is my first time here. Are you a regular?
What can you tell me about this meeting?” If I’m at a conference, I’ll ask the person
something to do with the conference, such as “How are you enjoying the conference
so far?” or “What did you think of the last speaker?” or “What do you think of the
venue they picked for this conference?” Sometimes, instead of leading with a
question, I’ll comment on something I see. Whether I’m in a queue, at a party, in
someone’s office or wherever, I’ll comment on something I see. This usually invites a
positive response from the other person and the conversation typically goes from
there. When I’m meeting someone for the first time in a professional/business/workrelated context, I’ll often ask them about their job, and I may continue with questions
such as, “What do you do precisely in this job?” or “How did you get into this field?”
A good alternative to asking about the other person’s job at the beginning of a
conversation is asking about the company or organisation they work for. Consider
questions such as, ”How did you start working at this company?” or “What’s it like
working for XYZ company?”
(For a whole host of ice-breakers and opening lines that you can use to start
conversations in networking situations see my article entitled, “STARTING
CONVERSATIONS WITH NEW CONTACTS”.) And, later in this article, you’ll find
some of the best questions you can ask to make your networking conversations
more enjoyable and more fruitful.
7
It’s easy to arrive at an event, see a friend or colleague and spend your time
catching up with them. But you must also commit to meeting new people and
initiating new relationships. Aim to meet three or four new people at each event. If
you keep this goal in mind, you will be conscious of the time you spend talking with
any one person.
•
The key to initiating a good connection in person is to forget about yourself, focus on
the other person, and ask a question about them. It doesn’t have to relate to you or
what you have to offer ― just a question that they can answer. “What did you think
of the speaker tonight?” is a good question. Or, if you happen to know something
about their firm, ask about it, for example, “I’ve seen ABC and Associates in the
news recently, haven’t I? You’re involved in that new Z project, aren’t you?” is an
even better question. See my article entitled, “STARTING CONVERSATIONS
WHEN YOU”RE NETWORKING” for a whole host of ways to make that allimportant initial connection.
When you get an answer to your question, pay attention to it. Everything you say
next should relate directly to what the other person said. For example, “Good
speaker, you say. What appealed most to you about her talk?” This is a much better
way to kick start a conversation than beginning with some blurb about you or your
business and can make a good initial connection.
So, when do you talk about yourself? Ideally, when you’re asked!
•
Don’t ever feel that someone will not want to chat with you, no matter what level
they may have achieved professionally. In the end, people are all the same. The
idea is to have something that is interesting enough or important enough to gain the
person’s attention. Hint: Make the conversation about THEM and THEIR world. Try
to provide them with something they can use such as information, a resource, a
lead or a referral.
•
Look for people who are open for a conversation. Sometimes the biggest
challenge for people at a networking event is knowing who to approach. No one
wants to just “barge in” and find themselves intruding on a private discussion. At the
same time, you are there to meet people and that means initiating and breaking into
conversations.
Knowing how to read body language is important. At your next event take a look
at how people are standing physically grouped together. You will see that people
stand with their bodies clearly indicating whether or not they are open to having
someone approach and join them. What you are looking for is “open” verses
“closed” groups.
When two people are facing each other and getting in to a deeper level of
conversation, their body language says they are preoccupied and would not
appreciate being interrupted. The same applies to groups of three or more
individuals. When they are standing close together in a closed circle, it indicates they
are having a private discussion or they are not interested in meeting someone else
at the moment. These are “closed” groups. They would not be groups to break into
and introduce yourself.
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“Open” groups are the ones to join: they make it easier for you to break into
conversations in progress. If two people are standing at an angle (i.e. their stance is
open and facing the crowd) and it appears they are not deeply engaged in
conversation or they are glancing around the room, it’s a safe bet they will be happy
for someone to join them. Make eye contact, smile, walk up and say something like,
“Hello. I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m (your name).” The same rule applies to
groups of three or more individuals. If the group is standing in an open circle which
has a gap for someone new to move into, plus one or more members of that group
makes eye contact with you, again, it’s a safe bet you’ll be welcomed into the
conversation. All it takes, is for you to approach the group and stand on the
periphery just where the gap is. If no-one acknowledges you, say nothing to begin
with, just listen and tune into the conversation. When there is a lapse (pause) in the
conversation, simply ask if you can join in. “Mind if I join you for a while?” You will
get a “yes” of some kind and then you just have to fill the gap in the circle. It is also
important to know that when you first break onto a group like this, it is not the time to
introduce a new topic or, worse, attempt to take over the conversation. Just listen in
and add to the conversation where appropriate. Eventually the conversation will shift
to who you are and what you are about.
You are likely to get a positive response when you approach someone
on their own or a group of three or more people. The dynamic of
two makes it difficult to break into a conversation and you
could be waiting on the sidelines for some time.
When you’re at a networking event, stand in open twos or
threes so that other people feel they can join the
conversation. Don’t close your group off.
Don’t sit down until the event’s program begins. If there is
no program, you can sit once you have connected with someone.
If you accidentally enter a group involved in a private conversation, excuse yourself
with something like, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize this was a private conversation.
Excuse me.” You can always join that group later when they are less involved.
Find someone who is all alone. People by themselves will often be the most open
to meeting others. Introduce yourself and then make a comment related to the event,
group, venue, sponsor, speaker, trade booth or workshop. Making small talk about
the situation or environment you are in can help you ease into a meaningful
conversation. “So Tony, what’s your connection with this group/organization?”
Approach someone who looks friendly, someone smiling with open body
language and making eye contact with you. It is easier to approach someone
who at least appears to be approachable. And you want to be sure that others feel
comfortable approaching you.
If you see a person standing alone, invite them into your conversation. They will be
grateful to you for doing this as you have taken them away from the uncomfortable
position of standing on their own. Your kind act could eventually lead you to some
new business or opportunity via the person you helped in their moment of need.
9
You really can only comfortably meet about three
or four people in the time you have available at most
events; sometimes a few less and sometimes a few more.
You want to meet people who can connect you to more business. In other words,
choose the right events for your business. If you want to meet accountants or property
developers or architects, find out where they meet and go there. Look up industry
associations, check out relevant industry publications and ask your clients and
prospects which organizations they belong to and what events they attend. You need
to go where your prospects are or where the people who can connect you to your
prospects are.
If you’re naturally shy, you may want to arrive early and that way the next person to
arrive will usually come up and speak to you.
Go with a client or referral ally. There are three advantages to this strategy. First, by
committing in advance to attend an event with a friend, you are less likely to find a last
minute excuse not to go. Second, the odds are that your friend will know people you
don’t know and consequently you will have a much easier time meeting new people.
Third, you get to strengthen your relationship with your friend.
Look the part. Appearance does matter. People judge you from what you look like 3
metres away, so dress professional when you go to a networking event.
Be genuine. Business networking is about being the authentic, real you. Putting on a
fake persona or mask and trying to be someone you’re not will do you no good. No one
likes a phoney. No matter how great you are and how great your product or service is, it
won’t matter one bit if others feel you have something to hide. Always be authentically
you, represent your business honestly and build genuine relationships with your network
contacts. The financial rewards will definitely flow.
Genuineness creates a climate of trust and enhances communication.
When I go to events, I participate and get involved. Nothing more, nothing less. I say
hello and introduce myself. I ask questions. I listen. And I add to the conversation where
appropriate. It’s that simple. I show myself through my passions and interests and my
willingness to learn about others. I enjoy meeting people and helping people for itself
and not for what it will get me. I say this is who I am and what I do. If you like what I say,
great, and if you don’t, that’s okay, but here I am and I’m enjoying myself and being
myself. I don’t try to force my business into the conversation because “business” will
arrive in conversation all by itself as a matter of course. People will talk about what they
do in business and they’ll be curious about what I do. That’s what happens at a
networking event. I don’t have to force anything to happen .I can just relax and have
some fun and so can you.
Don’t be that guy. You know the one. He goes around to
everyone in room, interrupting conversations in progress, just to shove
his card in your hand and talk about his business. And then he moves on
without enquiring about your business. Take the time to have real conversations.
If someone you meet doesn’t interest you, don’t pretend that you are interested in him
or her just to keep the conversation going. You can’t fake liking or being interested in
10
someone. If you try, you will come across as insincere. Spend your time with people
who feel right to you. (Later in this article, you’ll see how to “exit” a conversation.)
Interestingly, in the book entitled The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell points out that
we will have something in common with 1 out of every 2.73 people we meet. So there’s
no need to try to force a connection with someone in whom you’re not interested. If
you’re continually out there meeting new people, you’re going to naturally “connect” with
about 1 in every 3 people you meet.
Don’t pitch and sell at networking events. Whenever I go to a networking event, I’m
always reminded of what not to do. There’s always someone (or several someones)
who think their purpose in being there is to hand their business card to everyone they
meet and pitch and sell their wares. These people don’t get it. They’re continually
forcing their business into the conversation, slipping in pieces and parts of a sales pitch,
trying to make a sale. BIG MISTAKE! If you’re attempting to sell to people when you’re
meeting them for the first time they will be put off by your approach. They won’t want to
talk to you. And they won’t want to be around you in the future because they know you
are going to pressure them and try to sell them something they don’t need. (Okay, in
some cases, you might get the sale but you’ll have a hard time getting referrals, repeat
business and a good reputation.)
Few (if any) people go to networking events looking to buy. So you have to ask
yourself what is the point of trying to sell to people who aren’t in buying mode.
Think beyond the short-term gain and focus on relationship building. After all,
wouldn’t you prefer to get ongoing referrals from a long-term relationship than
one sale from a passing contact?
Trying to sell someone you just met is off-putting. You will shut the
door on the potential for a future relationship.
BIG QUESTION: How do you know if you’re selling?
BIG ANSWER: If you’re talking about the features and/or benefits of your product or
service, if you’ve offered them a brochure and if you’ve given them an invitation to learn
more about your business over coffee, then you are selling. Unless they have
specifically asked for this information. If they haven’t asked, you’re selling.
Here are some how-to pointers to help you have better, more productive conversations
when you attend networking events:
•
Think conversation, not sales pitch. After the initial pleasantries, try to learn
something about the person you’ve just met. Ask a question. For example: “What
is your connection with so’n’so/this group/all these people?” or “What made you
decide to come along to this meeting?” or “Have you been to one of these
meetings before?” And, when you have established enough rapport: “What is
your business about?” or “What’s keeping you busy at work these days?” It is not
about interrogating people. You are not going to fire a whole bunch of questions
at them. Indeed, just one or two engaging questions is often all it takes to get a
conversation going. And, if you talk with anyone for five minutes, you will usually
find something in common such as a shared interest or experience or maybe a
common acquaintance or goal. Find common ground and you’ll have plenty to
talk about. It helps making “connecting” easier and opens the door for you to
move forward and discuss business from there.
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The people who get the most out of networking begin
a connection with casual conversation, engaging questions
and meaningful dialogue so they can get to know the other person.
•
Remember why you are there: to meet people. And the whole point of meeting
people is to give you a starting point for developing a relationship. New contacts
almost never become clients/customers or referral sources as a result of a
one-time meeting. It’s the follow-up that gets things to happen for you. (For
insights, strategies and tools to help you follow up successfully with your new
contacts, see my article entitled, “EFFECTIVE FOLLOW-UP FOR SUCCESSFUL
BUSINESS NETWORKING”)
Networking events are not the place for pitching, selling and closing
business on the spot. They are an opportunity to meet people to then
follow up with.
•
Hold back from talking about your business. Instead, ask the other person about
their business. In networking situations, we are often tempted to tell others
everything we can about our business. It is like we have this idea that if they
know all about what we do they’ll recognize how much they need us. It’s a better
approach to learn about the other person’s business before telling them about
yours. Ask them what they do. Then, when they answer, ask even more
questions. For example: “How did you end up working for (name of
company/firm)?” “Where did the idea come from to start your own business?”
“What do you like most about what you do?” ”How do your clients/customers
benefit from dealing with you?” “Who makes a good client/customer for your
business?” In my opinion, it’s better not to talk about your business until you are
asked. At that point, you’ll be able to give the person you are networking with
information that is relevant to them and they will be ready to hear it.
To make the most of a networking event, detach yourself from the outcome
of having to generate new business. Your focus should be on finding
something in common and establishing a rapport as you are meeting new
people. The other stuff will take care of itself as a natural by-product of
your “relaxed” approach. Inevitably, they will eventually start asking you
about what you do. Now you’ve just created the opening to talk about your
business, without even trying.
•
Make friends first. Your goal is to make people feel that you are someone they
can trust. Someone they can believe. Someone they can potentially do business
with. The less you focus on getting business, the more likely it is that you will
make a successful connection. Everyone understands we are all in business
fundamentally to generate profits. But your chances of gaining a new client
or a referral are greatly increased if you are also perceived to have a wider
purpose to life than just closing your next piece of business. The most
important lesson to learn from the best connected individuals is that little of their
networking activity is carried out with any specific business goal in mind. They
concentrate on having meaningful conversations with the people they meet and
getting to know them as “people” and not solely as “prospects”. (Some people
say to me, “I never know what to say at these events. What do you talk about?”
My response to that is ”When you’re out with friends, what are some of the
typical topics of conversation you have?” They reply, “Family, friends, work, kids,
12
travel, weather, leisure, current events, restaurants, sports, shopping, movies,
pets.” Then I say, “So why would it be any different to talk about these things
when you’re making new business contacts?”
Most people go to networking events in search of new business
opportunities. That’s okay, depending when you get down to
the subject of business itself. In my opinion, it should be
later rather than sooner. First, concentrate on finding
out about the other person and making friends.
Good things will often follow.
•
Learn to ask questions that uncover issues or challenges that the person (or their
business) is facing. You can then position yourself as a potential solution to one
or more of those issues. When I feel a measure of rapport has been established,
I like to ask the other person a question like, “What are the biggest challenges for
you business right now?” or “What’s on your worry pile back at the office this
week?” or “What’s going on in your business these days that’s taking up a lot of
your time?”
•
If you meet someone who seems to need your business’s product or service,
resist the temptation to move into sales mode then and there. You don’t want to
risk blowing your business opportunity by talking too much about your wares.
Simply exchange cards and agree to talk further at a later date. Whenever I find
myself in a situation like this, I’ll say something like, “Let’s find a better time to
continue this conversation. Can I call you tomorrow so we can discuss this
further?” Or, I might say, “Why don’t we continue this conversation in a more
private setting over a coffee/over lunch/over a drink after work? Can I call you to
arrange a meeting?” Other variations of these phrases are, “Would you be
interested in grabbing a coffee sometime so we can continue this conversation?”,
“If I could help you with that would you be interested?” and “Can I call you in a
week or so to discuss the services I offer?” As a general rule, it’s best to defer
the sales pitch for a better occasion and get on with meeting some other people.
•
Be careful not to spend too much time on subjects of mutual interest. It’s
tempting to spend half an hour or more talking about things you like. Don’t. Your
opportunity to meet others awaits you. You can expand the conversation over
coffee, at lunch or over a drink after work at a later date.
If you’ve made a good connection, the
other person will be happy to talk with you again.
•
When you meet someone interesting who could potentially refer business to you,
invite the person to get together with you one-on-one for breakfast or lunch or
simply for coffee so that you can “hear more about what they do” and “brief them
on some on some of the things you do for your clients/customers”. Let me give
you come ideas about the kind of language you might use in this situation:
“Do you want to meet for breakfast or lunch sometime and see what we
can do for each other? We’re both out in the market place talking to similar
kinds of people and maybe we can be making introductions for each
other.”
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“I think we might be serving the same types of customers. Could we get to
know each other better so maybe we could help each other out with
referrals and introductions?”
“I’ve enjoyed meeting you. Why don’t we have lunch sometime and find
out if there’s anything we can be doing to help each other do more
business.”
“Would it be all right for me to call you in the near future for a more
In-depth conversation? (Then, after you leave their presence, make a
note on the back of their business card that will remind you of what
you talked about.)
“Can I give you a call next week to set up a time to talk in more detail?”
“Would you like to get together on Friday and work through the idea?
”I’m really interested in learning more about what you do, but I don’t want
to keep you from the chance to meet other people here tonight. Why don’t
I call you tomorrow and we’ll find a time when I can buy you a cup of
coffee?”
“Let’s get together sometime and explore how we can help each other get
more business. It sounds like we’re trying to find the same kind of clients.”
“I’d like hear more about your business and what you do for your clients.
And I’d like to tell you a little what we/I do. You want to go for a coffee
sometime?”
“It sounds like you and I have contacts that are in each other’s target
markets. Would you be interested in having coffee sometime to talk about
this further? Maybe we can help each other over time with referrals and
introductions.”
“I think we might be able to help each other do more business. Do you
want to talk about it sometime?”
“I can certainly see some synergy between what you and I do. Can I give
you a call next week to set up some time for a longer conversation?”
“It sounds like I might know people you want to meet for your business
and vice-versa. Would you be interested in talking about this further?
Perhaps we can help each other with referrals and introductions.”
Don’t try to sell and close business at a networking event.
If you do, each person you meet will be turned off by
your approach. Instead, focus on getting to know
people and what their business is about so
you can follow up as appropriate.
•
Listen more to learn more. Ask engaging questions and listen, without
interrupting, to what the other person is saying. Pay attention to what is
important to the person you are networking with, discover what they want for their
14
business, what issues and challenges confront them and what motivates and
inspires them and you will be better placed to help them (or find someone in your
network who can). If you identify an opportunity to do business with the person
you have just met, it would be quite appropriate for you to say something like,
“Can I call you about the problem you have with…..? Now isn’t the time or place
but maybe your problem is something that I can give you help with.” or, “I think I
can help you with that. Can I give you a call?”
Listen completely, without the intent to respond
immediately or show your knowledge.
Learn to be silent. Give the other person time to finish before you
jump in with new thoughts of your own. Your silence is an opportunity
to listen not only for words and ideas, but for feelings. Silence encourages
those who are speaking to elaborate.
Pay attention to what people say,
rather than simply waiting for your turn to speak.
You should never be so focused on what you have
to say that you forget to listen.
As you listen to people, look for opportunities
to ask questions based on what you hear.
Tune in to THEIR problems and issues. Think about how can your
product or service provide a solution? And if it can’t, is there
anyone you can refer them to? If you can help the person,
you’ve just started a new relationship.
Let others talk and listen to what they have to say. You might find that
they offer something you need. You might realise that you have
something unique to offer them. You might know someone
to whom you could refer them. Or you might see an
opportunity for the two of you to help each other.
It’s well worth the time it takes to listen. Listening multiplies the value
of the information you receive. You can also gain a reputation for
courtesy concern for others—positive traits for success.
• As people are talking, stay in the present moment and be genuinely interested.
When you’re distracted thinking about the work waiting for you back at the office
or your next appointment, that comes across as you not wanting to be there.
Body language, arms folded and a rushed air about you is a big turn off to the
other person.
•
•
Avoid wandering and scanning eyes when in conversation with someone,
concentrate on that conversation. Your goal is one-on-one attention. Engage
people. Send the right message: physically face the person completely. The most
offensive thing you can do while participating in a conversation is to look around
the room as if you’re trying to spot somebody or find someone better to talk to. (If
15
you’re looking for someone in particular at an event, why not ask the person
you’re with to help you find them.)
Looking over someone’s shoulder when you are talking to them
is plain rude. You are letting them know that you
really aren’t interested in them.
•
Balance the amount that you talk with the amount the other person is talking.
Talk too much and the other person will tune out. Ask too many questions and
they’ll feel like they are being interrogated. The rapport-building sweet spot is
usually somewhere in the middle.
People want to know a little about you and you need to know a little
about them. It’s how people discover if they are interested
in developing a relationship with each other.
•
Be open to meet anyone and everyone. If you have specific individuals you want
to meet at an event and you can’t find them or you have difficulty approaching
them don’t be too concerned and think your time is going to be wasted. You may
meet other people and make connections you never dreamed of. Allow yourself
to be open to possibilities. You never know who else they could put you in touch
with.
•
Don’t be pushing buttons on your mobile phone or looking around for others to
approach when you’re engaged in a conversation. Again, your goal is one-onone attention.
It’s best to get to understand the other
person and their business situation before you
start unloading information about your business on them.
•
Usually once you get chatting, you can tell if the initial meeting will lead to
another conversation and, potentially, an ongoing relationship. You may meet
someone who just isn’t interested in you or what you have to say. They may be
distracted. They may hijack the conversation, talk incessantly about themselves
and never ask you anything. Don’t take it personally. If they aren’t interested,
don’t waste time continuing the conversation. When there’s an appropriate pause
in the conversation, excuse yourself and move on. If they’re unpleasant and talk
only about themselves, they probably wouldn’t be a good customer/client or
business referral partner for you anyway.
The primary purpose of attending networking events should
be to meet people and establish a “connection” with them, rather than
sell your widgets. Once you have made the connection, you can arrange
a follow-up meeting to discuss business at a later date.
When you meet someone who you would like to speak to
further, ask if you can call them before moving on to your
next conversation. If the person is open to this, ask for their card.
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Pay attention to what people say about their
problems and issues. It will help you make connections for them.
Remember, conversations that don’t lead to direct business
may lead indirectly to business by referrals. You never know who THEY know.
The only thing you should be selling at a networking event is your interest and
willingness to help others. If you do that, you’ll sell plenty.
It’s a hell of a lot easier to build trust by
providing something of value than giving a sales pitch.
Attempting to hard sell people when you’re meeting
them for the first time will not only put them off buying from
you but also kill any future opportunity to gain referrals from them.
If you are looking to improve your ability to make those all-important connections, read
my articles entitled, “HOW TO SKILFULLY CONVERSE WITH PEOPLE” and
“NETWORKING KNOW–HOW:ENGAGING DURING THE CONVERSATION.”
Network for “advocacy” rather than “prospects”. A room full of people at a
networking event does not represent a room full of potential clients/customers to whom
you can sell your stuff. It does, however, represent a room full of potential advocates.
We can all be advocates for each other. If you take the time to have real conversations,
you can develop a circle (network) of people who will brag about you to others. And you
can brag about them. When we talk about ourselves, nobody really listens. If we
can get others talking about us, it’s more powerful and, therefore, more
profitable.
The real power of your connections is in
who THEY know: there are many more opportunities there.
The vast majority of new business you will get in the future will not come directly from
the people you meet at networking events. It will come indirectly as a result of your
contacts dropping your name and bragging about you over lunch, on the golf course, at
parties and in numerous other situations to people you have never heard of: people who
would never have considered doing business with you until their trusted friend (and your
advocate) recommended you.
So to be sure you are getting the best return for your investment of time at a networking
event, look for more than prospects for your business. Focus on meeting people who
can refer you, introduce you and open doors for you.
You don’t need to go after “buyers” at networking events.
There is a variety of other people who can be just as valuable including,
potential strategic allies and referral partners, influencers, opinion leaders
and others who can endorse you and recommend you.
If you just go and look for customers/clients, there is always that
tension that you are sizing people up and down–trying to
figure out if it is worth investing time in someone.
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Take the stress out of your conversations altogether. Rather than looking to turn
your contacts into clients, look to turn THEIR relationships into clients.
This approach takes all the pressure off you “to sell” and means
the other person feels no pressure from you “to buy”.
Sure, there might be potential buyers of your products or services at networking events
but they didn’t go there to be sold to by you or anyone else in the room. That’s a
conversation for another time and place. Simply exchange cards and agree to talk in
depth at a later date.
Remember, the real power of networking is in
the 2nd degree: it’s who THEY know. You need to be able to tell
people what you do so they can talk about you to their friends.
But people won’t do that if you try to sell to them.
BIG QUESTION: What is the purpose of building a network anyway?
BIG ANSWER: Word-of-mouth referrals. People refer business to people they know,
like and trust. Think about when you needed a service provider. Maybe to fix something
at your house or solve a problem at the office. Chances are you asked some friends
who they would recommend if you didn’t know someone yourself. As a business service
provider then, it pays to know as many people as possible who will give your name
when asked for a recommendation for the type of service or solution you offer.
The whole point of networking is to attract business and referrals. Rather
than spend a lot of money on chasing business with marketing tactics
that cost too much and produce too little, you really want to get into
a position where business comes to you as a result of your
network recommending, referring and introducing you.
It’s the reward, not the purpose. Most companies have a mission statement: an easy
to remember sentence or paragraph illustrating the business’s goals and purpose.
Disney’s mission statement says, “To make people happy”. Boeing’s says, “To push the
leading edge of aviation, taking huge challenges doing what others cannot do”. 3M’s
says, “To solve unsolved problems innovatively”. Note that these companies’ missions
are not to make a profit: profit is the outcome of and reward for fulfilling the mission. In
the same sense, the mission (or the point) of networking is not to sell and close
business. The mission of your networking activities is to make connections, build
relationships and help others. The outcome of these activities will ultimately be
increased business and referrals. Remember, it’s the reward, not the purpose.
So often, people forget about the importance of relationships and trust because they are
so focused on getting business. Your networking efforts will be more fruitful if you focus
on becoming known and trusted instead of making an immediate sale. As you stay in
touch and develop your relationships, you should have ample opportunity to discuss
business in depth.
Think long-term and relational instead of
immediate and transactional in your networking conversations.
Be ready for “What do you do?” When you are meeting people for the first time at a
networking event, the question “What do you do?” invariably arises. This is a golden
opportunity to arouse interest in your business. That is why having a value proposition is
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so important. It is a clear statement about how a person or company benefits from using
your product, service or solution. An effective value proposition gets people asking you
questions about your business. BIG QUESTION: What response do you get when you
tell people what you do?
If your answer to the question “What do you do?” does not regularly
start a conversation about your business, you need to change your answer.
Here are some tips to help you craft a value proposition that will arouse interest in your
business:
•
You need to distill the “value” your product, service or solution delivers to others
into a handful of words (one or two sentences) that are understandable and
meaningful to those who are unfamiliar with your business or even your industry.
Write these words down. Read them out loud and re-write and practice them until
they sound natural and unscripted
•
Use natural, jargon-free language that your mother would understand. Avoid
using acronyms. Share your message with your family, friends and others who
want you to succeed. Ask them for feedback.
•
Don’t focus on what you are selling but on the results or successes you create
for others. Your value proposition should clearly tell your listener how your
clients/customers are better off once they “buy” from you.
•
If you are unsure how people and companies benefit from doing business with
you, ask your best clients/customers “why they buy from you” and “what they say
about you to others”. Get them to tell you “what problem you solved for them”,
“what need you filled for them” or “what gain you created for them”. Write this
information down and get comfortable with the words. Once you clearly
understand the value you create for others, you will know how to communicate
your value proposition.
•
Be able to say what you do in a short sentence as well as a long sentence and a
few sentences. You want to be understood and easily remembered but different
people in varying roles and industries warrant different lengths of your value
proposition.
•
Your value proposition (no matter how good you think it is) should never be used
to introduce yourself. It should be in your head and ready for when the
opportunity arises and only when it arises. i.e. when someone asks what you do.
Networking is about connecting with people and making friends.
If you are asked what you do, by all means use your value
proposition, otherwise just focus on finding
common interests and sharing ideas.
If you are constantly manipulating the conversation so you can slip
in pieces and parts of your value proposition, it will show.
Nothing turns off others more than listening to
someone who has a heavy selling agenda.
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•
Too often people have fallen into the trap of rambling on and on about their
business when asked what they do. A better approach is to reveal small amounts
of information about yourself and then check to see if the listener wants to know
more. “I can tell you a little more, if you’re interested.” “Tell me if you’d like to
know more. I don’t want to fire-hose you with stuff about my business.”
•
In crafting your value proposition, ask yourself “how do companies and
individuals benefit from doing business with me/” and “who is my
product/service/solution for?” It is important not to generalise about the type of
clients/customers you want to attract. Many people, when describing their target
audience, use the words “anyone” “someone” or ”everyone”. This is too vague.
Instead you should be specific in order to paint a clear picture of what type of
opportunities you are looking for. For example: family businesses, farm
businesses, home-based businesses, young married couples, retirees, mining
companies, architects, retailers, and so on.
•
We all think that we communicate clearly what we do, but few of us do this
well. Ask people in your network for their perception of what you do, for
whom and when people and companies need your help.
•
Practice, practice, practice. Spend enough time practicing your value proposition
so it sounds unrehearsed. Then you can really get your value across in your
networking and business development conversations. Your goal is to entice
your listener to want to know more.
Here’s a formula that might work for you. Create a simple, two-sentence answer to
the question “What do you do?” In your first sentence, specify your ideal
clients/customers and the biggest problem your business can help them solve. In your
second sentence, convey the biggest benefit or outcome people gain after they get
started doing business with you.
Here’s what I often say. “I work with service companies that need their people to be
better at generating business from networking.” or “I’m in the business of helping people
gain more clients and referrals from their networking activities.” Then I’ll follow this with
a negative-reverse question such as, ”I’m guessing that’s something that doesn’t even
remotely interest you?“ (This is designed to take all the pressure off the other person
and will most likely result in a truthful response.) If the response is something like
“you’re right”, then I drop what I do and ask and learn about them. (Remember, I’m
networking for advocacy. I’d like to earn their trust and their referrals down the track.) If
the person does show some interest, I’ll continue with a few words about the kind of
results/successes I create for my clients. For example, “My clients typically see
significant increases in sales and new business following the networking and
relationship building training I do for them.” If the person shows further interest, perhaps
asking, “how do you do that?” or a similar question, rather than shift into “sell” mode
and as so many people do, explain their product or service in detail, I’ll stay in
“marketing“ mode and provide an example that illustrates what I do and the benefits
enjoyed by my clients. “A recent financial services client was not getting nearly enough
referral business from accountants, lawyers and other business professionals. By
becoming more proactive in expanding and working their networks, however, they
started getting more referral business almost immediately. And by having a systematic,
well-thought-out referral process in place, I helped them to increase the rate of new
20
client acquisition fivefold in just three months. Now my client says they are getting all
the referrals they need and can handle.” Now, if the person is really interested and
wants additional information, I will suggest a more suitable setting where we can have a
more in-depth conversation. “Let’s find a good time to continue this conversation over a
cup of coffee together. Can I call you tomorrow to arrange a meeting?”
If I’m in conversation with a lawyer I’d say, “I help lawyers build productive referral
networks”. Ditto, accountants, financial planners, bankers, architects, etc. A variation of
this is, “I teach business and salespeople how to use networking to increase sales.”
Good questions lead to better conversations. The best conversationalists are
curious about everything. That’s why they are good at asking questions. Questions
allow you to find out about people. Questions help you establish a rapport with people
when you meet them for the first time. Questions help people feel good about having a
conversation with you. Questions build the “like you”, “trust you”, “rate you” factor.
Questions save you from those awkward moments of silence when conversations stall.
Here are ten of the best questions you can ask to make your networking conversations
more enjoyable and, ultimately, more profitable.
1. Have you come along way to be here?
Variation 1: Have you travelled far to get here?
Variation 2: Where have you come from to be here today?
Commentary: This is a simple, friendly opener that will work for you in any networking
situation.
2. What brings you along to this event? Or, What brought you out here
today/tonight?
Variation 1: What’s your interest in this seminar, conference (or whatever)?
Variation 2: What do you hope to learn/want from networking at this event?
Variation 3: Are you here for any particular reason?
Variation 4: What made you decide to attend this meeting?
Variation 5: How is it that you’re here at this event and not doing something
else?
Variation 6: How did you come to be here at……..? So who invited you to this
event?
Commentary: This is a good early question that is easy for the other person to
answer and it gives you context and purpose for their presence. Maybe there’s a
problem they are trying to solve. It might also help you to find things in common.
It’s a fact that others find you more interesting when you ask questions.
3. What is your connection with this group?
Variation 1: How do you know our host/s?
Variation 2: How did you hear about this event?
Variation 3: How do you know (speaker, organiser/sponsoring group of the
event?
Variation 4: How did you end up at an event like this?
Variation 5: How did you get involved in this group?
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Variation 6: How long have you been (a member of, involved with) (specific
group)?
Variation 7: How did you choose to join this organisation?
Commentary: Another good early question to get the conversation going. It might also
throw up common acquaintances and interests.
4. How do you find this whole networking thing? Do you much networking?
Variation 1: What do you like most about coming along to these types of
events?
Variation 2: What other events have you found helpful to attend?
Variation 3: Where else do you go to network? What other groups do you
belong to?
Variation 4: Have you been to a (meeting type) before?
Variation 5: How did you find out about this event?
Variation 6: Do you find these meetings helpful to your business?
Variation 7: What do you think of the show/meeting/event so far?
Variation 8: How did you find the speaker’s topic? If you get a short reply, follow
up with, What did you find most interesting about the presentation?
Commentary: This question helps to break the ice during that awkward period right
after introductions and offers the chance to talk about something common to both
parties.
It’s not about interrogation. You are not going to fire all
of these questions at someone in the one meeting.
5. What is your particular area of expertise?
Variation 1: What are the problems you solve and how do you do it?
Variation 2: What do you do differently or better than other similar
firms/business?
Variation 3: What separates you and your company/firm from your competition?
Variation 4: Tell me a little about your business/what you do?
Variation 5: What have you been doing today? What are you doing for the rest
of the day? What are you working on right now?
Commentary: This is a better way of asking a person straight out “What do you do?” It
allows you to find out what the person is really good at and how their business
compares to their competition. They’ll be pleased you asked.
6. How did you end up in the “widget” business?
Variation 1: What made you decide to become a nurse/lawyer/accountant?
Variation 2: How did you get started in the (fill in the type of business/profession
the person is in here) business?
Variation 3: You mentioned that you were in (industry/profession). What got
you started in that direction?
Variation 4: What led you into this profession? or How did you get into banking?
Variation 5: What was behind your decision to go into business for yourself?
Variation 6: How did you come up with the idea for your business?
Variation 7: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Variation 8: Did you always see yourself as an accountant/lawyer/(whatever)?
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Commentary: This question delves deeper, giving the person a chance to tell their
“story” which could provide some insightful and valuable information for you. It also
shows you are interested in the person and they will feel it.
7. What do you enjoy/like most about your business/job/what you do?
Variation: What is the most rewarding aspect of your business/line of work?
Commentary: It’s is a question that elicits a good, positive feeling and leads to a more
interesting conversation about the person’s business or work.
8. How’s work going for you?
Variation 1: What have you been working on today/lately? Anything interesting?
Variation 2: How is project X going?
Variation 3: What is your biggest business challenge right now?
Variation 4: What’s your big audacious goal for this year?
Variation 5: What are some of the bigger issues for your industry/profession
these days?
Variation 6: What’s occupying most of your time at work at the moment?
Variation 7: What’s keeping you busy?
Commentary: This tells you what is taking up room in the person’s diary and where
they might be frustrated or challenged—this information comes in useful for follow up
and might even uncover an opportunity for your services. It also gives the person a
chance to talk about the “great” things they are doing.
9. How am I going to know when I meet a really good prospect for you?
Variation 1: How would I recognize a good business opportunity for you?
Variation 2: Who would be a good prospect for me to connect you with?
Variation 3: What do you need/want for your business right now?
Variation 4: What kind of people are you looking to meet here?
Variation 5: What is the best way to refer business to you?
Variation 6: How would I recognise a good potential client for you and what
would I say to that person to describe what it is that you do?
Variation 7: Who is your ideal client/customer? Who are your best prospects?
Variation 8: What kind of people could I introduce you to that would help you
grow your business?
Commentary: Though there are many ways to help your network contacts, what you
can probably provide most frequently are leads, referrals and introductions. This
question and its variations helps you understand enough about the person’s business
to recognize an opportunity for them when you hear one. When you find yourself
asking questions like this, you will know that you are networking rightly.
Questions assist us in establishing rapport and making connections
because they oblige the other person to talk and open up.
10. How can I help you? or What can I help you with? You can’t just ask this
question. You have to mean it. And if someone does request your help, take action
on it. By asking and not following through you will do more damage to your
reputation than if you had just kept quiet in the first place.
Variation 1: What could I do to help you grow your business/get the word out
about your business?
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Variation 2: Who can I introduce you to here tonight?
Variation 3: How can I help drum up some business for you?
Variation 4: What is a good business opportunity for you?
Variation 5: I come across many people in my line of work (or, I think what you
do is great). What kind of person would be a good referral for you?
Commentary: Powerful stuff! The best way to start a relationship is to help someone.
This question must be asked sincerely and only after a measure of rapport has been
established. It is the one question that will separate you from the pack…and it will
lead to more referrals and more business.
If you want to get something from someone you
have to give them something first.
10.1 How do you feel about getting together next week for coffee? It would be
great to learn a bit more about your business and see if we can help each
other.
Variation 1: Why don’t I give you a call next week to arrange a meeting?
There could be a few ways we could work together and it would
help me to explore what opportunities you’re looking for as I
might be able to introduce you to a few people.
Variation 2: I have some thoughts that could help you with that, if you are
interested. Why don’t we get together for coffee sometime?
Variation 3: Can I give you a call next week to set up a time to talk in more
detail?
Variation 4: Would you like to get together on Friday and work through this
idea?
Commentary: This is a terrific way to finish a conversation with someone you have just
met. You have made a connection and now you would like to get to know the person
better. You are asking for permission to follow-up. And how easy is it going to be to
make that call: you have already agreed to a coffee catch-up. It is just a question of
setting a date. That’s why you went along to the event in the first place.
Obviously, asking these questions won’t help you to connect with people (and would be
shallow) if you don’t actually care about the answers. You need to approach networking
with a real commitment to listening and learning about others.
By asking the right questions and listening to what others
have to say, you WILL get to do more business.
Some personal questions to help you “engage” and “connect”…..
How have you been doing?
How’s your day going today?
Married?/ Kids?/ Plans in this area?
Tell me about your children (or family members).
What do you enjoy doing when you’re not working?
What do you do for recreation or hobbies?
How did you get involved in…?
Who helped you get involved in…?
What were you doing previously?
With what company did you work previously?
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What (did, do) you enjoy most about that?
What is the best thing you learned about that?
Where have you learned the most about…?
Who taught you the most about…?
What did you take away from the experience?
How has that impacted you?
What (was, is) the biggest challenge with that?
What advice would you give someone else about that?
What are your thoughts on…?
Tell me about yourself.
Where are you from? Did you grow up in the area?
What do you stand for?
What gadget or piece of technology can you not do without?
What do you want to leave behind when you leave the planet?
On a plane, “Are you travelling for business or pleasure?”
Some business questions…..
What have you got lined up for the weekend/rest of the day/week?
How’s work going for you?
How are things outside work going for you?
How did your company get involved in…?
What kind of challenges are you and your company facing?
What’s the most important priority to you and your company right now?
How have you been handling that?
How’s that working out?
What effect has that had on you/your company?
How did you overcome that?
How does that process work now?
What challenges does that process create?
What are the best things about that process?
What does everyone else at your company think about that?
What innovative (products, services) has your company introduced over the last couple
of years?
Talk about the culture you’re trying to foster at your company.
Can you elaborate? So how do you do that/make that happen?
How do you manage to get so much done?
What are some of the things that have helped you get where you are today?
What does it take to be successful in your position?
How are you able to juggle so many different responsibilities?
What advice would you give to someone who wants to achieve your level of success?
How did you build such a successful business?/such a large organisation?
How did you achieve your level of success?
What are the secrets behind the success of your business?
How did you become CEO of this company?
What do you do for fun?
How do you relax? What do you do in your spare time?
As busy as you are, how do you balance your work and personal life?
What successful people have been you mentors?
What businessman and businesswoman do you most admire?
Best advice you ever received?
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What trend are you on and what happens if it changes? (A good question to put to
CEOs and other senior execs. You’ll get them thinking with this question and they’ll like
you for asking it.)
So, what do you want to achieve next? (This question uncovers clues about how you
can help them get there.)
See my articles, “HOW TO SKILFULLY CONVERSE WITH OTHER PEOPLE” and
ENGAGING DURING CONVERSATION” for more of the very best questions to make
friends, build rapport and create new business opportunities.
Use your business cards wisely. There are people who believe that s/he who gives
out the most business cards wins the game. Networking doesn’t work like that. Give out
your business card only when there is good reason to. This means only when you and
the person you are networking with have discussed why you need to reconnect/talk
again later. Your networking will not be productive if you are handing out business cards
indiscriminately–it will either not help you make connections at all (your cards will go in
the bin) or will attract the wrong connections (e-mail spammers and other pushy
individuals trying to sell you stuff you don’t need). Moreover, successful people will not
have a positive impression of you if you’re firing out your business cards indiscriminately
as they will see this as an act of desperation or ignorance.
Challenge yourself not to give out your business cards
until you have identified a reason to exchange contact information.
Write notes, in private, on the back of the cards you receive, including the date, the
place and what you talked about. Make a note of anything else you think may be useful
in remembering the people you meet more clearly. This will come in handy when you
are following up with your contacts and help to ensure that you don’t get them mixed up
with someone else and have embarrassing encounters later on.
If I give you my card, I’m not inviting you to add me to your automated newsletter.
Always ask people for their permission to sign them up for your newsletter. It is
just rude to expect people to “opt out” of something they never opted into to start with.
It’s more important to get THEIR card than to give out yours. If you give your card to
someone, there’s every chance that it will get lost and you won’t hear from the person
again. On the other hand, if you can get their card, you can follow up the next day with
an e-mail, phone call or a hand-written note and start what could become a long-lasting
business relationship. Handing out your card to everyone within your reach is not
networking.It’s spamming. The rule of thumb is that if you give your card out only when
asked for it, you’ll be sure not to hand it out inappropriately.
When meeting someone for the first time, it is the natural inclination of most business
people to make sure they give out their card before the conversation is over. There is a
better way and a way that won’t appear that the only thing that you are concerned
with is getting something from them. Focus your attention on them by asking openended questions and adding to the conversation where appropriate. You don’t want to
seem like you are interrogating them, yet you do want to learn as much as you can
about them in the time you have together.
When the conversation/meeting is over, in private, write down some of the key points
that were discussed and this will give you everything you need to send a follow-up
26
communication the next day, mentioning some of the key points from your chat. It is
impressive when someone gets an email or hand-written note like that. It shows people
that you were actually listening to them and that they are important to you. Your contact
details (i.e. your “electronic” business card) are there in your email signature. Or you
can drop your card in with the hand-written note. You might even wait for either a
second in-person meeting to give out your card or a second hand-written note to include
your card.
Bring a pen with you for making notes about your
conversations on the back of business cards you collect.
As you develop your relationship with the other party you will want to start to learn more
about them and what they do. This will put you in a position to serve them better and
keep an eye out for business you can refer their way. If you approach each new
relationship with the attitude of how you can help and serve this person, they will be
moved to do the same for you.
By not foisting your card on someone or going into an unsolicited sales-pitch about who
you are and what you do, it actually says more about you than words possibly could. Of
course, as your relationship grows you will want to share more about yourself and your
business just as you would expect the other party to do for you. This is how the pros do
it and it is a manner that doesn’t make you appear desperate or that you are only
concerned about yourself.
Your networking will not be productive if you are handing out
your business cards indiscriminately as if they were cheap flyers.
Want more referrals? Put “I welcome referrals”…..“Know someone
who needs what we/I do? Please send them our/my way”…..I’d be
delighted to meet your introductions”….. or “Happy to advise your
family and friends” on your business card and website.
Know how to end a conversation. Sometimes people find that ending a conversation
is more difficult than starting one. We don’t want to be rude or hurt the other person’s
feelings so we struggle to disengage. The good news is there are various polite ways to
exit a conversation when you’re looking to move on and meet others. Here are five of
them:
1. After you have listened to someone talk about their business, introduce the person
to someone else that might be of interest to them and then politely excuse
yourself. You could say something like this: “Jane, I’d like to take you over and
introduce you to Roger. He is also involved in the mining industry and I think the
two of you would have things in common to talk about.” After Jane and Roger
exchange pleasantries, you immediately exit the conversation by saying something
like, “Well you two probably have things to talk about. Roger, I’ll catch up with you
later and Jane it was great meeting you.”
Don’t stay too long with one person. Make a suggestion that
it would be useful for both of you to meet some other people in the room.
If you don’t know anyone else in the room, you can invite a complete stranger into
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your conversation. The way to do this is to turn to someone standing nearby and
say, “Would you like to join us for a while?” Now you have someone new to talk to.
2.
Sometimes, introducing your conversational partner to some one else isn’t an
option and you just have to excuse yourself. The way to do this is to state your
objective up front then excuse yourself to go and do it. For example. “I came along
this evening hoping to meet someone who (whatever), so I’m going wind
my
way around the room and see if there’s anyone like that here. I’ve enjoyed talking
with you.” Or, “I can only stay for a while and I want to talk with some people I
know here. Will you excuse me?” Or, “It’s my first time at one of these events for a
long while and I’d like to say hello to some of the other members too. It’s been
good chatting with you.”
Here are some more exits that will allow you to move on to your next
conversation:
“I want to go over and talk to…….Why don’t you join me and I’ll introduce
you?”
“Good meeting you. Will I see you at other meetings?
“I want to wander around and meet everyone. Nice talking to you.”
“I want to have a word with (person’s name).
“Good meeting you. Will I see you at more of these events?”
“I’d better move on/keep moving.” Shake hands and move on.
“I’d better let you move on/keep moving.”
”Do you have a business card? I’d love to be in touch.”
“I have something I need to ask (person’s name) about. Please excuse me.”
“Why don’t we go and meet some other people here.”
“Charles, I must get going. Catch you next time.”
“It’s been great meeting you. Will I see you at future meetings?”
“I’m sure there are other people here you’d like to meet”
“I should let you get back to your table.”
“I don’t want to monopolise your time”
“I shouldn’t keep you. I suppose you’d like to meet some other people.”
“It’s been good talking to you. Maybe I’ll see you a bit later.”
“Wow, this is quite an event don’t you think? Well we should probably keep
moving. It was great meeting you Brad.”
“This has been great, but we probably shouldn’t ignore everyone else.”
“My boss tells me to circulate when I’m at these events, so I’d better do that.
”I’m going to start saying my goodbyes. I’ve enjoyed talking to you.”
“I’m going to continue my search for someone who knows about widgets.”
“I want to catch up with a few more people before I head off for the
day/evening.”
“I’d like to continue meeting people”
“I see someone I need to speak with.”
“There’s a few more/some other people I’d like to talk to.”
“It’s been very interesting but I should let you mingle a bit and I’ve got
to say hello to some people too.”
“Sam, this is a networking event, so I better let you go and meet other
people.”
“I’ll let you get back to (whatever the person was doing prior to talking with
you). Enjoyed meeting you.”
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“I know you’re here to meet others so I won’t take any more of your
time.”
“We should probably keep moving. I enjoyed talking with you John.”
“I’m going to look for a friend who said she’d meet me here.”
“Thanks for letting me join you. I’d better keep moving.”
“I ought to say hello to some other people.”
“Lynne, if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to get a drink/try some of the food.”
“Maybe we should both talk to some other people now. It’s been good talking
with you.”
“I’m sorry Dave, but I must get going.”
If you’re one-on-one, and you really want to move on, try asking, “Have you
had a chance to meet some of the other people in the room” and offer to
introduce the person to someone you know. Clearly, this is not such a good
idea if the person is a bore as you will not be thanked for dumping them on
a colleague.
3. Ask your conversational partner to come with you. For example. “I want to ask the
the speaker a question. Want to come with me?” or “I want to get myself a drink.
Want to join me?” or “Let’s meet some people here.”
4. Create a follow-up opportunity. For example, “I’d like to hear more about your
business and tell you about some of the things we do for our clients. Would you
like to go for lunch or coffee sometime?” or “Let’s talk again and see if there’s
anything we can do to help each other.” or “Why don’t we continue this
conversation another time. Can I call you next week to arrange a meeting?” or
“This has been good. I think we might be able to help each other create some
business opportunities. Can I call you tomorrow to talk some more?” or “I wonder
if there are any ways in which we can collaborate with one another. Do you want to
have a longer conversation over coffee?”
5. You can always just keep it simple. “It was nice meeting you (person’s name).
Enjoy the event.” Shake hands and move on. There’s no need for further
explanations. Just be polite and you’ll disengage on a positive note.
5.1 One of the single best things that has helped my success with networking is by
ending every conversation with one of the following phrases:
“Please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”
“Please let me know if I can help you in any way.”
“It’s been nice getting to know you. If I can help you in any way at all, just
let me know.”
When you make this a habit, you will quickly build a valuable level of trust and
sincerity that will set you apart.
A few more thoughts……
If you meet someone who doesn’t feel right to you, just excuse yourself and move
on. Networking is about creating authentic connections, so don’t force yourself to
make friends with someone you don’t like. You can say something like, “I don’t
want to take up anymore of your time”, then shake hands and take your leave. Or,
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you could say that you need to speak to more people before you leave and excuse
yourself.
If the thought of bowing out of a conversation is difficult for you, just know that
you’re doing the other person a favour by freeing them up to talk to other people.
When exiting a conversation, use the person’s name. “Jason. I’ll give you a call in
the morning.” “It’s been good talking with you Julie.” Be straightforward and
honest. Don’t say you have to get back to the office and then be seen standing
around for the next 30 minutes talking to other people.
A good time to finish a conversation is right after you have been speaking, rather
than right after the other person has spoken. You risk appearing rude by breaking
off right after the other person has spoken.
Watch out for signs that the other person you are talking to wants to get away.
Shifting eye contact is a classic. Another is when the energy and enthusiasm of the
conversation is waning.
With practice, you get the hang of moving on.
For even more help with finishing up your conversations, see my articles entitled,
CONCLUDING A CONVERSATION: HOW TO DISENGAGE FROM PEOPLE and
84 WAYS TO WRAP IT UP WHEN IT’S TIME TO TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE.
Realise that people want to talk to others too. So don’t monopolise anyone
for too long. No more than 15 or 20 minute conversations is appropriate.
Staying top-of-mind. Most of the people you meet at networking events will not need
your product or service right now…but they may well do in the future. So how do you
make sure they remember you when they need you or when they have a friend who
needs you? The answer is, get their permission to add their name to your
mailing/newsletter list. That way you will have the opportunity to consistently be in front
of them.
True networking never looks like networking. If you’re networking the right way, you
are getting to know the people you’re networking with and letting them get to know you.
You are learning to understand their business and how you can help them achieve their
business goals and you’re educating them about your business and how they can help
you reach your goals. There’s nothing pushy about it. Instead of coming across like
someone who’s making contacts for mercenary and self-serving reasons, you’ll look like
a person who’s connecting with other people in a very real and mutually beneficial way.
Networking only works if you and the other person
take the time to get to know each other.
Get on a first-name basis with the host. The host is the best connected person in the
room as s/he is the one who brought everyone together. Seek out the host, strike up a
conversation and make the connection. A good host will point you in the direction of
some key people s/he feels you should know. A really good host will make the
introductions personally. You can even ask the host to introduce you to someone you
particularly want to meet. Being introduced by the host makes it easier to connect with
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people. When it’s time to leave, find your host and express your thanks for the invitation
and say goodbye. The next day, send a “thankyou” to the host.
Say your all goodbyes. As you’re leaving the event, go around to the people you’ve met
and say goodbye, confirming any promises you made to them earlier. Keep it short and
positive.
Networking events aren’t the only place to make connections. Everywhere you go
is a networking opportunity. It’s simply a matter of being friendly and initiating
conversations. Unplanned encounters at your kid’s sporting events, in line at the bank
or supermarket, on a plane, in restaurants, at parties and so on provide opportunities to
be capitalised on or lost. When you assume that everyone is a potential valuable
contact and you are prepared to initiate a conversation you increase the potential for
your own success.
Big opportunities have a way of appearing in
the most unlikely of places. It’s called serendipity.
Networking is a way of life, not just another event you schedule in your diary.
Growing your network is something you have to work at continually if you want to make
a success of it. You should always be on the lookout to meet new and interesting
people. If you are friendly and have the right motives this can be easy and fun. By
seeking to be helpful and useful to others, you will not only meet more people but also
see a noticeable improvement in your networking results.
Some things are better done in person and networking is definitely one of them.
Regardless of how technology advances, face-to-face interaction continues to be the
best way to make solid connections and drive business development and growth. You
get so much more done face-to-face. Conversations are more effective, non-verbals
make things more clear and human (55% of our communication is body language) and
it’s just plain true that people still put more value in real life human contact than they put
into words in a tweet, post or text. It will always be this way. Phone calls and emails are
fine and there is a place for on-line networking, but nothing beats face-to-face
networking. Nothing. Not ever. At all. Period! Take the time to get out there and shake
some hands and engage in conversations. You will create plenty of opportunities to do
more business. Chances are that your local Chamber of Commerce, Business
Association or Rotary Club has some great real-life business-building opportunities
awaiting you. The bottom-line benefits of getting involved in such organisations will far
outweigh the cost in time and a few dollars.
Don’t get so involved with on-line networking sites like LinkedIn,
Twitter and Facebook that you cut back on in-person networking. Nothing
beats face-to-face conversation for making strong business connections.
You will do more business with in-person, face-to-face networking!
In-person networking creates real, in-depth relationships
in a way that social media does not.
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According to research, 90 percent of communication is conveyed through
non-verbal actions and behaviours. You can stay in touch by phone
or e-mail, but a face-to-face conversation builds rapport and
trust like no other interaction or communication. That
is the basis for the most productive relationships.
You get to spend more time with your contacts by meeting them in
person. This gives you a better opportunity to establish rapport,
ask more questions and make an impression. That means
you are more likely to be remembered. And that
means you are more likely to get referrals.
Warning. I’ve seen people who replace in-person networking completely with online
networking. THAT DOES NOT WORK! You have to put the face-to-face element into
your networking and relationship building. Who’s going to buy from/hire/refer someone
from an e-mail/online relationship? I’m more inclined to do business with or refer
someone whom I have previously met in person. And so is just about everyone else,
including you.
Are you on LinkedIn? LinkedIn is not a game to “accumulate” names. I get bombarded
by invitations to join people’s networks on LinkedIn from people whom I’ve never met
before, had no interaction with and worst of all—in their invitation message they give me
no compelling reason to be associated with them or they don’t even suggest we meet
for coffee (or get on the phone) to explore potential opportunities for mutual gain. What
does this say about these people? Who are they trying to add to their network, by using
this method? How are they planning to use their network, accepting people they don’t
know or hardly know into it? And how strong do they think such a network will be, when
they need it? For example, when they are looking for a job, and need a reference from a
person in their network they haven’t met and had nothing to do with. Or when they are
trying to get an appointment with a targeted prospect and want a referral or introduction
from someone in their network who knows little or nothing about them. (For the record, I
will accept an invitation to connect with someone on LinkedIn only if I have met them
previously and it was a positive experience. I will also invite the person to go for coffee,
lunch or a drink after work to reinforce the connection. For your “online” connections to
be solid and valuable, there really needs to be an “offline” component to them.)
When you invite someone to join your network on LinkedIn, explain why
you want to connect with that person. Don’t just use the standard
connection script. Some people might accept all invites
but your “best” contacts only accept invites if
there is a compelling reason to do so.
All too often, online networking is lacking in intimacy and
sincerity. I seems to me, that increasing use of the internet and other
communication technologies are to blame for declining
relationships among networks of people.
Take the time to get to know members of your LinkedIn network. Ask them to
meet with you in person. It helps to build the relationship.
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Big question: Are you substituting an e-mail, tweet, post or text for in-person, face-toface activities, thinking that is going to grow relationships and your business? Consider
the following……. In 15 minutes you can learn more about someone and they about you
in person than in six months online. Finding common ground comes much easier from
having a conversation on the phone or in person. And making decisions on what the
next step is and putting a plan in motion can happen in one minute on the phone or in
person as opposed to multiple e-mails.
Learn to blend your online and offline networking activities. If you meet someone online
and strike up an online relationship that has value and interest to you, then take it offline
to enhance that relationship and help it progress. If you meet in person, then stay
connected online to enhance the relationship and help it progress until you meet in
person again.
The key to successful business networking is GENEROSITY. Those who are
successful at networking know that networking is never simply about getting what you
want. It’s about getting what you want AND making sure that the people who are
important to you get what they want too. What I’m talking about here is friendship.
Friends help each other.
At networking events, think “what am I here to give”.
The name of the game of networking is give, give, give. It makes
getting that in-person meeting, that referral, that personal
introduction, that favour you want so much EASIER.
There is a principle of reciprocity in networking that is very powerful. It is simply this: if
you do something nice for someone else, they will be moved to reciprocate, to “even up”
the relationship by doing something nice for you. Reciprocity begins with an act of
generosity with no expectation of anything in return.
Reciprocity is a wonderful thing. By and large, if you take the time and effort to
show interest in someone else’s business and offer advice and referrals to them,
you will receive the same back from them at some stage. It may take time, but any
relationship worth having generally does take time to build. If you approach
networking thinking you will get a quick return then you will find yourself asking
“Why is this highly touted tactic so frustrating?”
Acts of generosity benefit the giver in a “pay it forward” manner. This creates more
benefits than the effort takes…just one small favour could be a powerful catalyst in the
growth of your business. Think about how you can help your network contacts. Can you
introduce them to a business opportunity or an opportunity to speak publicly or to be on
a panel? Do you have some great resource that they could benefit from? What one
piece of useful information or advice could you give them? Continually ask yourself
“What can I do to help this person?” This is what makes networking work for you.
A big part of networking is about “paying it forward” and reaping the rewards
of others wanting to help you back. Not because they feel they owe
you but because they just want to. Isn’t that the way you are?
Here are just a few things you can do to help those who are important to you:
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Post their information on your website or in your newsletter. Benefit: You help
promote them and their business.
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Invite them to attend an event with you. Benefit: You help them increase who
they know.
•
Let them know about a meeting of a professional organisation, a networking
event, a speaker or some other event you think will interest them. Benefit: You
help them increase who they know.
•
Recommend a book they will enjoy. Benefit: You nurture the connection.
•
Send an article you know will interest them.
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Provide insight or advice about a challenge they are facing.
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Buy them lunch. Benefit: You get to know them better. They will like you for that.
•
Ask them to contribute to your firm’s newsletter or another newsletter you know
about that would be relevant to their business. Benefit: You help them gain
visibility and credibility.
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Nominate them for recognition and awards. Benefit: You honour them. Powerful!
•
Send their information in your next client mailing. Benefit: You spread the word
about them.
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Introduce them to a potential client or referral source. Benefit: You increase
their business revenues. This is the most powerful and rewarding way to
network.
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With their permission, quote them in one of your articles as an expert. Benefit:
You enhance their reputation.
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Invite them to speak at an organization in which you are involved. Benefit: You
open doors to new opportunities for them.
•
Ask them to speak at a training session your company is hosting. Benefit: You
help them gain visibility.
•
Ask them if they’d like a recommendation on a professional networking site such
as LinkedIn. Benefit: Who doesn’t want to be recognised favourably and publicly?
Your efforts on behalf of others will often encourage them
to be on the lookout for opportunities they can bring your way.
The BEST way to get a referral is to GIVE one.
I caught up with my friend Mario for coffee recently. Not long into the conversation Mario
said, “So Ron, how can I help drum up some business for you?” We spent the next 15
minutes identifying potential buyers of my services who Mario knew and would be
happy to introduce me to. Then we spent another 15 minutes exploring who I knew that
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Mario wanted to meet for his business. That’s friends helping each other for you and it
all started with Mario’s act of generosity. Are you generous enough to your friends?
Friends helping each other with introductions and referrals
beats the hell out of cold calling for appointments with decision makers.
Never forget that real networking is always a 2-way street for you and the other person.
Keep listening to those you meet and for ways to help them or notice if they have
something useful for one of your contacts. This is not a selfless act of philanthropy or
being unrealistically optimistic. It is sound relationship-building practice that consistently
generates profitable returns. Your contacts will always be grateful for your help and will
be even more likely to keep their eyes and ears open for the chance to repay your
kindness.
And doesn’t doing a favour for a friend just make you feel good anyway?
Follow up with those good connections you have made. Attending networking
events is worth little if it doesn’t result in actual relationships and business. Why would
you undo all the good work you did in meeting new people by not following up and
expanding those initial conversations?
You have 24 to 48 hours to follow up. After that it is often too late!
Few people follow up with their new contacts. When you commit to diligently following
up your new contacts, you will stand apart from the rest and take a big step towards
building a strong network that will supply you with a steady stream of business and
referrals.
You can go to 20 networking events a month, but if you don’t
follow up with those good connections you’ve made, it’s all for nothing.
Following up is easy when you create a reason to follow up. If you are asking good
questions and really listening during your networking conversations, you are more likely
to hear a need that you can help with later. Then, based on the need you picked up on,
you can call or e-mail your new contact with an idea, a resource or piece of information
that they will find helpful. Make sure it is something they actually want and is not just
about your product or service, unless, of course, they have specifically asked for that
information.
A good time to create a reason to follow up
is during your initial conversation.
When you meet someone interesting and with whom a potential relationship exists,
consider following up with an invitation to join your network on LinkedIn. They get to see
everything about you and vice-versa, including shared connections and other
information that can move your relationship forward faster.
If you are unable to identify a need and you still want to follow up with the person, here
are 9 easy follow-up actions you can take:
1. Connect them (electronically) to someone you think they would like to meet.
2. Forward an article on a topic that will interest them.
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3. Invite them to coffee so that you can “hear more about what they do” and brief
them on some of the things you’ve been able to do for individuals like them.
4. Invite them to an event you are attending.
5. Invite them to connect with you on LinkedIn.
6. Follow them on Twitter.
7. Send them a friend request on Facebook.
8. Forward information on a seminar or event they might find of interest.
9. Introduce them to an opportunity that will help increase their profits.
10. Link them to useful resources.
The best follow-up from a networking event is one that provides value to the
recipient. If you have taken the time to learn and understand what might be useful to
your new contacts and you are generous with your contacts and resources, you will find
it much easier to follow up with them.
Do not use the first contact after a networking event as an opportunity to pitch
your business. “Hi John. Nice to meet you and by the way if you are looking for (your
product or service) I can help you.” That not-so-subtle approach says, “I’m not really
interested in you unless you want to buy from me”. An experienced networker knows it
may take a few conversations to move into sales mode but when you get there, you
have a better chance of success.
I go to a lot of networking events throughout the year. So I give out a lot of business
cards. Often after an event I will get an e-mail from someone I’ve met that reads like
this….”It was great meeting you at------event. If you ever have a need of our services in
the future don’t hesitate to call me”. “Visit my website at www.” This is no way to follow
up with anyone—impersonal, no value provided. Generic messages of this kind read
like spam and are likely to annoy the receiver.
If you move into sales mode too quickly,
you may ruin any chance you have of making a sale.
Just as you would rather do business with people you know, like and trust,
others want to do business with you for the same reason.
It’s only when you sit down one-to-one with people that you
begin to find areas of commonality and synergy. And it’s only when
people get to like and trust you that they will start to feel that you are
someone they can do business with or refer their friends to.
You need an effective follow-up action plan. When you go to networking events, you
will leave with piles of business cards. What you do with those cards is critical to getting
results. With too many people, those cards end up sitting around for months and
nothing is done about them. If you don’t have a follow-up plan you will become
overwhelmed with the amount of cards piling up. Essentially, at that point, the cards and
contacts you have spent all that time and money making becomes useless.
Follow-up is an ongoing process. Don’t think you need to make a sale or get
referrals from your first or second contact with someone.
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As a rule, people won’t buy from you or refer business to you after an initial meeting at a
networking event, so you will need to re-connect with them a number of times before
you’ll see results. Statistics show that we need to contact (reach out to) potential clients
and referral sources 4 to 8 times (sometimes less, but rarely) before they actually
become a client/customer or consider referring any business our way. This means
sending e-mails, making phone calls and meeting in person with your contacts to build
the layers of trust needed for successful revenue-generating relationships. Your
networking follow-up should strive to create value in people’s lives by helping
them to solve problems, by connecting them to other people who can help them
and by sending them helpful pieces of information they can use to achieve their
goals and overcome their challenges. This is how you get more business and
referrals to flow to you.
Big questions: Do you have a contact management system so you can follow up with
those good connections you make? And, do you have a process for staying in touch
after the initial follow-up?
Don’t include a sales pitch for someone to buy your products or
services in your initial follow-up communication unless
that person has specifically asked for them or
indicated a need for them.
Don’t ask someone to meet up to learn more about their business and then spend
the entire time talking about your business. If you invite someone to learn about
their business, stick to that agenda. If the other person asks about your
business then you can talk about it. Too often people use learning about
someone’s business as a trick or plot to pitch their own products or services.
Follow-up, done rightly, turns people you have met into people you know. When you
meet someone you’d like to know better, someone you think could become a
networking ally, invite them to meet you for coffee, lunch or a drink after work and
discuss the details of each other’s business further. Here are some sample follow-up
notes that might suit the situation for you……
Hi John,
It was great meeting you at the Local chambers networking lunch yesterday. We
should meet up for coffee/lunch sometime in the next two or three weeks. When
are you free?
By the way, I noticed on your website that your company sells XYZ services to
ABC businesses. I know a few people that could be interested in your services.
If you’d like, I’d be happy to make some introductions for you. Regards.
Hi Jane,
I enjoyed meeting you at the networking breakfast today. We seem to have a bit in
common and, if you’re interested, I’d like to have a longer chat with you at some
point.
If we get to know each other better, maybe we can be helping each other find
some fresh business opportunities by introducing one another to people we know.
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Indeed, based on our conversation this morning, it seems to me that I probably
know some people who could be interested in your services.
I’ll try calling you during the next week or so to see if you’d like to go for a coffee.
Of course, you’re welcome to call me if you have a free moment. Cheers.
Hi Rob,
It was a pleasure to meet you at……..
Regrettably, we did not get much time to talk and, if you have the time, I would
appreciate catching up with you and finding out a bit more about your work at ABC
Company.
I’ll try calling you early next week to see if we can arrange a time to get together.
Cheers.
Your follow-up doesn’t always have to relate to business…….
Hi Mary,
It was nice to meet at…..
I remember you talked about your love of Thai food. I’m attaching a link to a great
website that features all Thai restaurants in town. Cheers. (By doing this, at the
very least you will get a response, and at the very most, you will establish a brandnew networking connection.)
Remember, the initial meeting following the event is NOT a sales call—it should be a
relationship building session. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Use this meeting to learn more
about the person’s business, their issues and challenges and, yes, how your company
can be of assistance. The key hear is to ask questions and LISTEN. As you show
interest in them and their business, they are more likely to become interested in you and
your business. Your goal at this meeting is to “end the conversation with the future in
mind”. In other words, create a commitment and obligation to do something.
Whether, it’s something you are going to do for each other, something you are going to
do for them or something they are going do for you. This gives you a reason to stay
connected and helps to build relationship momentum. As you follow through with
ongoing e-mails, phone calls and in-person meetings your contact is more likely to work
with you or refer someone else to you.
Follow-up begins at the event during the conversations you have.
You need to personalise your follow-up
communication by mentioning something you
spoke about. A generic “Nice to meet you” won’t cut it.
Make notes on the back of cards you
collect so you remember your conversations.
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If you really connected with someone
clearly state your interest to keep in contact.
Are you on LinkedIn? When you meet someone interesting and with whom a potential
relationship exists, consider following up with an invitation to join your network of
contacts on LinkedIn. They get to see everything about you and vice-versa (if they are
also on LinkedIn), including shared connections and other information that can move
your relationship forward faster.
For further help and advice on making your networking follow-up easier and more
rewarding, see my article, “EFFECTIVE FOLLOW-UP FOR SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS
NETWORKING”
And some final thoughts to leave you with……
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Say thankyou a lot…..and put it in writing.
Actively look for opportunities to connect people you think will benefit from
knowing each other.
After the event, review whether or not you met your objectives and identify
where you might improve.
Set a target number of events to attend (one a month, quarter, etc).
Join a networking /referral group.
Attend events for parallel/allied industries.
Attend one or two events a year that are out of your normal parameters,
exposing you to new people who you may never have thought might be
helpful.
Look for ways to network beyond networking events. Sometimes the best
connections are made when there’s no pressure to network. Be friendly
and look for opportunities to connect with others wherever you go.
Help your clients, prospects and other contacts get more business.
Effective networking will do much more to grow your business than cold
calling or any well-designed brochure.
Make keeping in touch with your key contacts part of your daily
routine.
Take the time once a week to have lunch with someone who is important to
you.
Attend at least one networking event a week– this will help you keep
your commitment to networking: you will build a momentum for
gathering leads and contacts which will keep your business pipeline
filled on a permanent basis.
Get to know your contacts better. The more you know
about someone, the easier it is to make connections for
them and uncover opportunities for your services. There
are four things I like to get to know about my business
friends. 1. Who their family members are and what
they’re about. 2. What their interests are outside their
work. 3. What their talents are, their skills, their
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successes, their achievements—I can’t advocate them
and their business without knowing this vital
information. 4. Who THEY know, who they do business
with,
what
memberships
they
have,
what
boards/committees they sit on—this tells me who I want
them to introduce me to.
Let your contacts get to know you better. The more they
know about you, the easier it is for them to make
connections for you.
Ask your contacts to introduce you to people they know.
Be a connector. It’s important to make connections between people you
know and people you just met. If you meet someone who would benefit
from someone you know, make the connection. (It’s always best if you
arrange a 3-way meeting where you can make the connection in person.)
While it’s important that you get to know your existing contacts better, you
also need to meet new people and grow your circle of influence.
The sooner you can find common ground with someone, the sooner the
barriers between you disappear.
Unless you get to know your contacts, you will never know who they can
put you in touch with.
Reciprocate. Give something back to anyone who gives you something.
Show up early. If the invitation says 5.30pm for 6.00pm, get there at
5.30pm. The first half hour is often the most productive for networking.
Stay a little late. Some of your best contacts will be made when the
“official” part of the event is over and in the final moments prior to their
departure.
As you leave the event, send a text message to those good
connections you made, saying you enjoyed meeting them.
At the end of the day, we go to networking events so we can grow our businesses. We
meet people and (by following up and staying in touch) build relationships so we will
receive referrals from them over time. And if they recognise that they struggle from the
problems you can resolve, they’ll buy from us too. What this article is about is how to do
it well so you can increase your marketing, business development and sales success.
Although increased sales/business is the end goal, we don’t engage in business
networking to sell. We do it to find and develop authentic relationships/friendships with
people who we can help and who can help us. When we detach ourselves from the
need to make a sale and focus on how we can help others to succeed and prosper, we
contribute to their success as well as our own.
You need to get out there and meet people, if you want to grow and
sustain your business. There’s a direct correlation between
the hours you spend making connections and
profit. The more hours, the more profit.
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Remember these guidelines when you venture out of your office into the world of
networking functions and events. Make the most of the time you spend while you’re
there.
I hope this helps. I have personally found that by implementing the strategies and
tactics laid out in this article my networking efforts have consistently resulted in real
business, real relationships and real referrals. Both my business life and personal life
have benefited and I hope yours will too!
Happy networking. Maybe we will see each other at a networking event some day.☺
Now that you’re better equipped to make those all-important network connections, the
challenge is how to successfully transform your connections into revenue-generating
relationships. For real-world answers and solutions to this challenge, read my articles
entitled ”EFFECTIVE FOLLOW-UP FOR SUCCESSFUL NETWORKING” and
“TRANSFORMING YOR CONTACTS INTO BUSINESS”.
Referred to as “That Networking Guy” by many organizations, Ron Gibson
provides in-depth networking training and coaching, focusing on business
growth and development. Get Ron to speak at your next conference or
sales meeting about how to bring in more business, more consistently and
more often. Ron can be reached on mobile 0413 420 538 and email
[email protected]
“We can attribute tens of millions of dollars in additional sales and new business
to the networking skills training programs that Ron Gibson has run for our
people.”
— Norm Roberts General Manager,
Mobile Lending Perth CBD and Mt Lawley
ANZ Banking Group
Footnote: Through the years my experience has been that many (around 30%) of my most profitable
relationships established with other business people began while networking at events, breakfasts,
lunches, social outings, etc. These are not people I see on a regular basis, just like minded individuals
that I have had the good fortune to meet once or twice then stay in touch with via e-mail monthly,
quarterly or in some case just a couple of times a year. The common factor in all cases though is that I
have followed up and met with the individual face-to-face, usually over a cup of coffee, for a substantive
conversation. My point here is that not all of your future business and opportunities will come from strong
relationships you have with the likes of strategic partners, referral allies and long-standing clients and
customers. So if you’re not continually meeting new people and following up and staying in touch with
them, you’re missing out on getting a ton of new business….It’s that simple.