PDF Issue - Windy City Media Group

Cupid,
eat your
heart out
PLUS
#1060 • February 1, 2012
Nightspots’
Valentine’s Day
cards.
page 13
‘Myths and
Mortals’
at Leather
Archives.
page 29
e
v
o
L
e
W ason!
a
e
S
s
thi
Stag, Couple or Triad...
join us Tuesday, February 14th
for roses, kisses and
and
restaurant gift card give-aways
thanks to our friends at
/SidetrackBar
®
3349 N. Halsted
SidetrackChicago.com
That Guy by Kirk Williamson
So I totally fucked up the online Jepoardy
test last week. On any given day at 3:30, I’m
sitting on my couch (it’s the only break I get
while tirelessly working on this magazine) rattling
off “questions” to rival the contestants on the show.
“How easy would it be to actually get on the show?,”
I think to myself ... and maybe vocalize to my cat.
Well, not so easy, as it turns out. I’ve done the online
test before and it was a breeze, but alas, not this
time.
So I figured (with the same brain that blew the test)
that I’d try my hand at Family Fuss’n, the Wednesday
game show at The Sofo Tap last week. It was a hoot.
Host Dick Guhzinya (get it?) had apparently hunted
down and skinned a rumpus room for his jacket,
while a beturbaned Ethel Merman and Judge Judy
(okay, I watch that during the day too) kept it moving along with wisdom and wisecrackery. Personally,
I didn’t fare any better than on the Jeopardy test,
but at least liquor was along for the ride. Lesson
learned.
Thanks to Gio at 3160 for including me in the 6th anniversary POP Goes the Gio show! Right as I walked
in he dragged me on stage (kicking and screaming,
of course) to favor the crowd with my rendition of
Prince and the Revolution’s “Purple Rain.” It was such
a blur I forgot to hand my camera over to Jason to
take my picture. You hadda be there.
Another thanks to Tom Wray, who, upon seeing me
arrive at midnight at Touche, knew right away that I
had come to photograph the lube wrestling event.,
which was the kickoff to Mr. Chicago Leather weekend. I was a bit late, but Tom graciously offered to
send me some pics of the event, which are laid out
on page 12. As you might imagine, a bunch of guys
in loose-fitting onesies covered in lubrication might
lead to a little slippage, of the “there’s no way I can
print THAT” sort. Suffice it to say there’s a whole reel
of pictures you’ll never see in these pages. Damn
community obscenity standards!
Welcome to Antronio’s, the new club at 6319 W.
Roosevelt Rd. Combine the owner’s name (Antonio)
and the Mexican slang for “hip” (antro), and there
you go. You may remember Antonio from Chesterfield’s, which has been closed since 2008. Say hi to
Antonio and all the folks for dancing, videos, drag
shows, and billiard playing. And thanks to Pubert for
his lovely pictures of the opening night party.
[email protected]
nightspots
#1060 • February 1, 2012
MAIN COVER IMAGE
Ben (as Cupid) and
Joey
Photo by Anthony
Meade
LOWER RIGHT
Photo by Kirk
Copyright 2012 Windy City Media Group/Lambda Publications Inc. All rights reserved.
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PUBLISHER
Tracy Baim
ASSISTANT PUBLISHER
Terri Klinsky
Managing Editor
Kirk Williamson
ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES
Terri Klinsky, Kirk Williamson, Amy Matheny,
Dave Ouano, Kirk Smid
NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE
Rivendell Media 212-242-6863
DIRECTOR OF NEW MEDIA
Jean Albright
Office
Meghan Streit
Photography
Mel Ferrand, Kat Fitzgerald, Kirk, Kizzy,
Anthony Meade, Dave Ouano, DJ Res-5
CAST OF CHARACTERS
Andrew Davis, Homer Marrs, AK Miller,
Marc “Moose”Moder, Jennifer Parello, Peter Pointers,
Randy Pubert
nightspots
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640
773.871.7610, fax 773.871.7609
www.WindyCityMediaGroup.com
[email protected]
/nightspots
LORNA
LUFT
Celebrates her mother
JUDY GARLAND
The Legend - The Music - The Memories
FEB 12, 4PM
“SONGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME”
ParamountAurora.com • 630.896.6666
ANTRONIO’S
Remember Chesterfield’s? They’re back!
THE SOFO TAP
8 nightspots
February 1, 2012
Photos by Pubert
Game Show Wednesdays: Family Fuss’n with Dick Guhzinya.
Photos by Kirk/Brian Wells
DANCING ABOUT
ARCHITECTURE
by Marc “Moose” Moder
BORN TO DIE ...
FROM BOREDOM
By the time you read this, Lana Del Rey’s “debut”*
album Born To Die will be a huge Adele-sized hit, or
a big old Beyonce-sized flop. You can’t say the label
hasn’t tried, but you can say Lana didn’t.
Fans of sexy trip hop and languid vocals were pretty
impressed when we heard her lead-off singles, “Born
To Die” and “Video Games.” Things looked good!
She was somewhere in between Beth Gibbons
of Portishead and early Imogen Heap backed by
peak-time Moby. Then the bomb that was her two
songs on SNL hit and took all the wind out of our
sails, took the sails down, burned the sails then ate
the ashes. She stunk. Well, now it’s all here, her new
studio full length effort. How is it? In a word, “lazy.”
that permeates every track to exhaustion, backed
with pretty much the identical tricks as on the two
previous singles, but done to lesser effect. There
are a few bright spots on the discs like the popish
“Lolita” and “Radio,” but you might even skip past
those after two minutes.
I’m not saying Born To Die is terrible. I’m just saying
if you, like me, were looking for some indication
of versatility, you’re going to be disappointed. If
you’re looking for a ‘90s trip hop knock off to have
lady-love to, then you go on ahead and pick up Born
To Die. She may be born to die, but this overhyped
society girl’s career may beat her to the punch.
*Just like Katy Perry or Gaga, Lana did another CD
under her really name, Lizzy Grant, which was lost to
obscurity.
“Like” Moosebox on Facebook for more on Moose’s
musical musings.
Photo by Nicole Nodland
Now I don’t expect Ting Tings level power pop but
I do expect some effort out of this much-hyped
singer. She dubbed herself “Gansta Nancy Sinatra”,
and much like that puss-in-boots, she has a sluggish
delivery, little ability to sing live, and lots of daddy’s
money to get her signed regardless. Also, like
Sinatra, she’s pretty much had a new face put on.
Nancy, at least, is seventy years old. What’s Lana’s
excuse? But I digress. Nancy Sinatra has a sexy/dirty
style that suited Lee Hazelwood’s quirky, cutting
edge orchestrations. All Lana has is a lazy vocal style
10 nightspots
February 1, 2012
This Valentine’s Day,
you deserve a major heart attack.
Karaoke by Creagh
MON
TUES
TUE
TUES
WED
WED
Spin
Jackhammer
Cocktail
Cell Block
The Glenwood
10pm-2am
10pm-4am
9pm-2am
NOW TUE. 8:30-11:30pm
9pm-1am
(773) 327-7711
(773) 743-5772
(773) 477-1420
THU
THU
WED
(773) 665-8064
(773) 764 -7363
Holiday Club
9:30pm-1:30am
(773) 348-9600
THU
THU
Hideaway
Crew
The Closet
Four Farthings
The Call
9:30 pm-1:30 am
9:30pm-1:30am
9:30pm-1:30am
9:30pm-1:30am
7pm-11:30pm
(708) 771-4459
THU
(773) 784-CREW
(773) 477-8533
FRI
FRI
(773) 935-2060
FRI
(773) 334-2525
FRI
SAT
DS Tequila Co.
Bistro After Dark
Bobby Love’s
Hideaway
Halsted Harp
10:30pm-1:30am
Feb. 10, 6pm-10pm
(773) 697-9127
(773) 525-2522
9:30pm-1:30am
10pm-2:30 am
9:30pm-1:30am
SAT
SAT
(773) 525-1200
SAT
(708) 771-4459
SUN
(773) 348-3665
SUN
Christina’s
10pm-2am
(773) 463-1768
SUN
Bobby Love’s
Coppolino’s
Four Farthings
T’s
Hideaway
The Sofo Tap
9pm-Midnight
10:30pm-2:30am
9:30pm-1:30am
6 pm-10 pm
10 pm-1:30 am
COMING 2/12 7 -11 pm
(773) 525-1200
(773) 735-8647
(773) 935-2060
(773) 784-6000
(708) 771-4459
(773) 784-7636
NEW SONGS ADDED!
Weekly raffles for prizes at
Jackhammer
Now contact us at 773-720-7347 or [email protected]
Join Creaoke on Facebook
TOUCHE
Mr. Chicago Leather weekend gets off to a slippery start.
BOBBY LOVE’S
12 nightspots
February 1, 2012
Photos by Tom Wray, Cortex News Service
Sing for your supper with Creaoke Fridays!
Photos by Dave Ouano
Here’s wishing you a
SANTORUMFREE Valentine’s
Night
i want to
the shit
outta you
Happy valentines gay loser
Happy valentines DAY LOSER
LOSER!!
LOSER!!
LOVER!!
fucking autocorrect!
Paging Dr. Freud...
I’d
hit
that
ALL YOU NEED
IS LOVE
FEBRUARY 14TH until 4 am
VALENTINE’S DAY
Chocolate Martini, Champagne,
and Wine Specials
3534 W. belmont ave
www.latebarchicago.com
DICK’S R U CRAZEE?
3160
Indiana nights.
Happy birthday POP Goes the Gio!
16 nightspots
February 1, 2012
Photos by Kirk
Photos by Kirk
THE CALL
SPIN
If you seek Amy, you may find her at Britney Spears night.
Photos by Kirk
New Jersey Housewife Melissa Gorga and hubby Joe judge the Dragzilla contest.
Photos by Kirk
nightspots
17
February 1, 2012
MAIN: You can tell a lot
about a man ...
DETAIL: ... by the pins on his
jacket.
photo by Anthony Meade
Classic
CHECK OUR FACEBOOK PAGE EVERY THURSDAY,
WHEN WE WILL UPLOAD AN ENTIRE YEAR’S WORTH
OF ARCHIVED PHOTOS FROM A PARTICULAR BAR!
Feb. 2
Feb. 9
b
The Edge
2004
/nightspots
l
Cocktail
2004
No matter which way you swing, you’re gonna
love the way we play ball!
Saturday , March 3
Park West
322 W. Armitage Ave.
Chicago, IL
For tickets, visit
chicagotakesoff.org
or call Billy Surber at
773-989-9400 ext.235
BERLIN
CULT’s 2nd anniversary with Mykki Blanco.
Photos by Kirk
WHERE MY DRANK AT?
WEDNESDAYS
3160 Paul Marinaro and His Jazz Trio
@mosphere Chicago Exclusive Male Dancers
from Fierce Casting, $5 Bacardi drinks
Berlin $1 select shots, $2 PBRs, $5 Tropical Sex
pints, $4 Malibu black. 1st Wed.—Electrohouse w/DJs Pete Augusta an Adam EL.; 2nd
Wed.—Dub Hangover with Jason Cox; 3rd
Wed.— GLO Euro pop night w/DJ Gabriel. Last
Wed.—Static Electroshock Therapy
Big Chicks Euchre Club 7:30 p.m., $4 Stoli
Martini, $6 Leinie Pitchers, $5 Quesadilla night
(Chicken or Veggie)
Bobby Love’s $1 off domestic, $1 Pucker, $3
Jäger shots
Bucks $3.50 Domestics drafts & bottles, $3.50
well
The Call Curtains Up! Wednesdays with showtune videos at 8 p.m., $3 off Absolut & Skyy
martinis and cosmos
Cell Block Open 4 p.m. w/ Giani, All import beers
(bottles & drafts) $3.50
Charlie’s $2 Miller Lites, $3 Skyy cocktails
The Closet $5 all fruit cocktails
Club Krave $5 Three Olive cocktails; $7 Three
Olive martinis, 1st & 3rd Wed.: Island Girls
meetings with bartender Miss Brandi Wyne.
2nd & 4th Wed.: So You Think You Can Drag
Crew Open for lunch 11:30a.m., Monsoon pints
$4.25, 1/2 price Martinis
Downtown $3 Bud Light drafts, $6 Don Q
DS Tequlia Co. Trivia and Black Out Buckets (4
bottle beers, 4 Jäger shots)
Halsted’s $5.95 chicken fajitas, $3.50 Coronas
Hamburger Mary’s “Cabaret Project” at 7:30, $10
cover. MaryOke with HamyBear at 9 p.m. $4
UV and Cruzan (all flavors) and $3 domestic
bottles. No cover after 9 p.m.
Hunters $4 Skyy/Skyy Bombs, $4 Cruzan Rum
Hydrate 1/2 price Martinis, Hy-Drag Review 9:30
p.m., also DJ Laura B
Jackhammer $1 well drinks, $5 buy-in, play Wii
Jeffrey Pub Game night—Bid Whist, spades,
dominoes, darts, drink tickets for every winning hand
Late Bar Staff spin their favorite punk, garage
and rock ‘n roll, $4 Stoli flavors, $4 Sailor Jerry
Mary’s Attic MaryOke with DJ Matador at 9
p.m. $3 well cocktails and domestic bottles,
sponsored by Nightspots
minibar Mini University, Chicago’s hottest
new college night, loaded with THE hottest
bartenders, barbacks and boys! 9 p.m.
Parlour Indie Parlour with community and music
events. $3 PBRs
Roscoe’s You’re the Star Karaoke with Honey
West at 10 p.m., $3 off Martinis, $2.50 Miller
Lite drafts, Last Thu.: Wet Boxer Contest w/
Frida Lay at midnight
Scarlet Sorry For Partying: featuring Hi-Life DJs,
$3 PBR tall boys, $4 Svedka drinks and $4
shot menu
Scot’s $2 off all Cosmos
Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3-8 p.m., Classic
Sidetrack, 8 p.m.-2 am
The Sofo Tap The LIVE Game Show ($25 Pyramid;
Family Fightin’ or Win, Lose & Drink) at 9, $4
Hofbrau drafts, $6 Hofbrau big beers
Spin Dollar Drink Night, $1 42 Below and well
cocktails, wine and Miller Lite and Coors Light
drafts, as well as $5 Corzo shots, $1 Jameson
ice cream cones
Touché Bear-Chested night
Velvet Rope $6 pizza specials, $3 drafts
THURSDAYS
3160 Arnie Lanza
@mosphere Pants Off Dance Off: Male Dancers
with TOMAS the Magician. $3 well, $13 Cosmo
22 nightspots
February 1, 2012
pitchers
Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m.
Berlin STARDUST Thursdays, with live
performances and special DJs. 2nd Thu. is coconspired by Pyramids of Pluto/ Jean Shorts,
Sisterman, & Smooth & Delicious. Last Thu. is
co-conspired by ratcatchers.com and CULT. $1
select shots, $3 Bacardi Bombs, $5 “Tropical
Sex” pints, $2 Old Style Light, $5.50 Ultimat
Vodka, $6.50 Patron Silver, $5+ cover
Big Chicks $10 Pitchers of Blue Moon, $2.75
Rolling Rock, $4 Cosmos, Chicken specials
night—$5 wing basket, $6 Chicken breast
sandwich $5 chickenburger
Bobby Love’s $1 off domestic & draft, $1 Pucker
Bucks $3.50 Domestics drafts & bottles, $3.50
well
The Call After-work karaoke 7-11 p.m., $5 Absolut cocktails, specials on Long Island pithcers
and buckets of beers
Charlie’s $3 top shelf drinks and beer, ‘80s
flashback night
Circuit La Noche Loca w/ DJ Fast Freddy & DJ
Rock-O-Mix, Miss Ketty’s show at 10 p.m.
The Closet Karaoke with Creagh at 9:30 p.m., $5
Long Islands
Club Krave StarFinder Craig’s Karaoke with
bartender Andrew, $5 you-call-it top shelf
Crew Karaoke Fun Time with Mr. Bill. $3 draft
beers, $2.50 bottomless chips & salsa
Downtown $6 Tito’s cocktails, Trust Us DJs
downstairs, every 2nd Thu. is Clock Out/Rock
Out 5-9 p.m. in Main Bar
DS Tequlia Co. $10 Big Bottles of wine with
plastic cups, $3 Jamo shots, $3 Soco shots Bar
Olympics at 10 p.m. with prizes
Hamburger Mary’s $1 off home-brew pints
Hunters HXD (Hot Extreme Dancers), $100 Stoli
bottle service, $5 Stoli Cocktails, $7 Long
Islands, $3 Bud Light bottles, $3 Cruzan
Bombs, DJ Kim
Hydrate Effen Thursdays: DJ Phil DaBeatz, $5
Effen cocktails, $5 Effen bombs, Stage Door
Johnnies perform
Jackhammer $2 MGD/Miller Lite/Bud/Bud
Light, $3 premium domestics and imports,
DJ Man Scott
Late Bar DJ Peroxide spins Dark Alternative, $4
Kir Royale or Mimosa, $6 Mini-Martinis
Mary’s Attic Big Red’s Cabaret with Meghan
Murphy (2nd & 4th Thurs), “Fatally Cool” (1st
Thurs), “Hedwig Unplugged” (3rd Thurs). No
cover. $1 off home-brew pints.
Roscoe’s Alternative Sounds in front bar, $12
Three-O Pomegranate Cosmo pitchers; $3 off
Martinis, $2.50 Miller Lite drafts, $10 Miller Lite
Pitchers, $5 Three-O Bombs. Last Thu.: Wet
Boxer Contest at midnight
Scarlet Frat Night, hosted by Kevin, $5 40s of
Miller Lite, Corona and King Cobra; $5 Long
Island mini-pitchers, DJ Katy R
Scot’s $4 all drafts
Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3 - 8 p.m.
The Sofo Tap Happy Hour Thursdays with $3
Miller Lite draft pints, $4 well, $5 Jameson
shots, 5-9 p.m.
Spin Dollhouse Drag Revue with Debbie Fox,
PhiPhi O’Hara and special guests, $5 Skyy
cocktails, $6 Skyy bombs, $4 Coors Light drafts
Touché Handballer Night, red/white hanky
specials, club room open
Velvet Rope $3 Sapporo pints, $6 Cosmos,
monthly local LGBT band performances
FRIDAYS
3160 Pop Goes the Gio show
@mosphere Bi-Polar Fridays with male dancers from Sarabia (7-9 p.m.) and Exclusive
Manwatch of MI (11- close). Hosted by Regina
Upright, DJ Eric Hall, $5 Stoli Blueberry, $13
Cosmo pitchers
Berlin Cosmix: DJ Greg Haus, electro, progressive, and alternative, $1 select shots, $3
Bacardi Bombs, $5 “Tropical Sex” pints, $5.50
42 Below Vodka. $5 and up cover starts at
11 p.m.
Big Chicks DJ and dancing 10 p.m., no cover, 1/3
lb cheeseburger $5, $3 basket of appetizers
(zucchini, mushroom, onion rings, poppers)
Bobby Love’s Karaoke w/ Creagh 9:30 p.m. 1:30 a.m.
Bucks $10 Miller pitchers, $2 Schnapps
The Call After-work retro video cocktail party
6-9 p.m., TGIF Video hits after 9, $4.50 Stella
bottles, $1 Dekuyper shots
Charlie’s Two-steppin’ lessons with Stina at 10
p.m., country with DJ Michael B ‘til 1:30 a.m.,
Afterhours dance with DJ LuLu
Circuit Flashback Fridays with inexpensive drink
specials and hits from the ‘70s, ‘80s, ‘90s &
2000s, Last week: Urbano hip hop party
The Closet $5 Jose Margaritas
Club Krave Male dancers w/ bartenders Eric
and Romey, $10 dom. buckets, $16 import
buckets, DJ Brandi Wyne
Crew Wanna Play Fridays with free ping-pong
and darts. $2, P.B.R. cans $3.50 Goose Island
312 Urban Wheat/Seasonal pints, $5.50 Mega
Mojitos, 4th Friday-Frat Boy Friday, w/ Hot
Jock Contest at 11:00 p.m.
Downtown $5 Jack and Jäger shots, DJs
DS Tequlia Co. Happy Hours 4-7p.m. includes ½
price apps, $10 Rum Fishbowl, $15 Marg Fish
Bowl, bottle beer or draft special, $1 shots
Halsted’s $5 Stoli mixed & bombs, $12 Bud
Light/Miller Lite pitchers
Hamburger Mary’s $5 Mary’s Punch pints
Hunters $5 Sweet Tea, $3 Jager Bombs, $3 Miller
Lite, HXD (Hot Extreme Dancers), DJ Ron G
Hydrate TPAN’s Positively Aware party 8-11 p.m.
on 2nd Friday of the month, Weekly DJs til 4
a.m., no cover til midnight
InnExile Here’s the Beef male dancers 11 p.m.
Jackhammer DJ Man Scott, 1st Fri.-The Flesh
Hungry Dog Show, Last Fri.-ManHunt.com
party
Jeffrey Pub Guys All Night Out dance party,
$3 cover
Late Bar Soul, Mod and vintage rock ‘n roll, $3
PBR, $3 Schlitz Tall Boys
Krush KRUSH FRIDAYS @ Krush Nightclub,
1675 N. Elston Ave. SEXY MEN SEXY MEN
SEXY MEN. Local and national Artist. www.
blackstoneave.com for more info
Mary’s Attic Feel Good Fridays with Rogue DJ at
9 p.m. $5 Mary’s Punch pints. No cover
Parlour Lipstick: hot girls’ dance party, $4 cocktails, DJ Teri Bristol
Roscoe’s $15 Absolut Pink Lemonade pitchers,
$3 off Martinis, $3.50 Peroni bottles, $5
Bacardi bombs
Scarlet The First Ward Ball, $4 Well Drinks, $4
wine glasses, $4 domestics, DJ Dolo
Sidetrack Showtunes 5-9 p.m., Best of Sidetrack
9 p.m. - 2 a.m.
The Sofo Tap Grrr, It’s Friday bear party, $6 Miller
Lite big beers, $2 PBR cans, $4 Red Stag shots
and cocktails
Spin The Shower Party, sign up by 11:30 p.m.,
contest at midnight, 1st prize $150, lots of
swag from Next Door Studios
3160 POP Goes the Gio!
Touché 1st week - MAFIA; 2nd week - Full Moon
party and contest; 3rd week - ONYX Club
night, Club Room open at 10 p.m.
Velvet Rope Karaoke with Creagh, $6 Grey Goose
SATURDAYS
@mosphere Male Dancers from Sarabia and
Exclusive Manwatch of MI with DJ Timmy
Loop, $5 Stoli Blue
Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m
Berlin $1 select shots, $3 Berlin Bombs, $5 Tropical Sex, $5.50 Ultimat. Twisted w/ DJ Chester
or DJ Larissa, $5 and up cover starts at 11 p.m.
1st & 3rd Sat: House of Santana drag show 9
p.m.-midnight
Big Chicks Euchre Club 6 p.m., DJ and dancing
10 p.m., no cover
Bobby Love’s Karaoke featured artist nite, trivia
shots & giveaways w/ DJ Tim
The Call $5 Absolut cocktails, video dance party
Charlie’s Country with DJ Michael B 9 p.m.-2
a.m., Afterhours dance with DJ LuLu
Circuit Urbano hip-hop/house night, DJs Kenae,
Anton and Corona, $10
The Closet $5 Jose Margaritas
Club Krave Club Krave Divas drag show, bartenders Romie and Markie, $10 mixed drink
pitchers, DJ KY
Crew $3 Bud Light drafts and $3.75 Shiner Bock
drafts, $6.50 double Bloody Marys, $12.50
Mimosa pitchers, $4 Jameson shots, VJ Ven
spinning from 6 - 10 p.m., VJ Bobby Marley
10 p.m.
Downtown $8 Vodka and Red Bulls, Scandalous
Karaoke w/ Weston, 9 p.m. - 3 a.m.
DS Tequlia Co. $1 shots
Halsted’s $6 champagne cocktails, $4 22 oz. Bud
Lights, 12 Stoli Bloodies during brunch
Hamburger Mary’s Mimosa Brunch served ‘til
3 p.m., first mimosa free, then $2, $4 Leinie
bottles
Hunters $3 Miller Lite bottles, $5 Skyy Cocktails,
$100 Skyy bottle service, Hunters Hunks, DJ
Ron G.
Hydrate DJ Ralphi Rosario 11 p.m. - 5 a.m.
Jackhammer DJ Man Scott, 1st Sat.-Great Lakes
Bears with DJ Chris Eterno, 2nd Sat.-Bear
Dance Party with buffet, 3rd Sat.-Underwear
Party with DJ Phil DaBeatz
Jeffrey Pub Girls All Night Out dance party, $3
cover, show with host Indigo Blue
Late Bar DJ Dave Roberts spins New Wave club
classics, $3 PBR, $3 Schlitz Tall Boys, no cover
Mary’s Attic Dance Party with DJ Oskar & John
Murges at 9 p.m. $5 Frozen Slushies. No cover
Parlour DJ Luis M., $4 well
Roscoe’s No cover before 10 p.m., $5 cover
after, $15 Absolut Pink Lemonade pitchers,
$3 off Martinis, $3.50 Peroni Bottles, $5
Bacardibombs
Scarlet Crossfader Kings DJ Group, $5 well, $5
imports
Sidetrack Sidetrack Classics 3 - 9 p.m., Best of
Sidetrack 9 p.m. - 3 am
The Sofo Tap Doggy Days dog party 3-6 p.m.
Spin Dance party with DJ Riley York and go-go
boys, second Sat. of month is Fish Tank by
Dummy Corps, $10 20 oz. Bacardi fishbowls,
$1 Jameson ice cream cones
Touché Open 3 p.m., 1st week-Great Lakes
Bears, Weekly fetish parties @ 10 p.m. Club
Room open
Velvet Rope Guest DJs, $5 bombs
SUNDAYS
@mosphere 1st and 3rd Sunday: DIVA starring
Angelique Munro. $2 well, $10 Miller Light
draft pitchers
Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m.,
2 for 1 admission with coupon available at
www.thebatonshowlounge.com.
Berlin $2 PBRs, $3 Heinekens, $5.50 So Co. 1st
Sunday: Madonnarama w/ DJ Riley York. 2nd
Sunday: True Faith ‘80s night w/ DJ Chester;
Last Sunday: “Block Rockin” ‘90s Night w/Greg
Haus & Chester
Big Chicks Free BBQ/inside picnic at 4:30 p.m.,
$2.50 vodka lemonades
Bobby Love’s Open at noon with Connie
Bucks Sunday cookout, $10 Miller pitchers, $2
Schnapps
The Call $12 Long Island pitchers, $5.50 Pinnacle
whipped vodka, After-beach party until 9
p.m., showtune videos after 9
Charlie’s Euchre 6 p.m., karaoke with Man Fag at
9 p.m., $10 top-shelf pitchers
The Closet Free darts, $5 Jose Margaritas
Club Krave Drag Bingo @ 7 p.m. with Brandi
Wyne, karaoke with Star Finder Karaoke at
9:30 p.m., $2 drafts, $5 draft pitchers
Crew $10 Miller Lite pitchers, $6.50 Double
Bloody Marys, $12.50 Beergarita or Mimosa
pitchers, $4 Jager shots, $5 Jager bombs,
VJ Ven from 3 - 9:30p.m., VJ Bobby Marley
9:30 p.m.
Downtown $4 Stella, trivia w/ Craig @ 9 & 11
DS Tequlia Co. $10 Mimosa mugs, $1 Kick the
Keg
Halsted’s $6 champagne cocktails, $4 22 oz. Bud
Lights, 12 Stoli Bloodies during brunch
Hamburger Mary’s Mimosa Brunch served ‘til 3
p.m., first mimosa free, then $2
Hunters $3 Tallboy PBR, $5 24oz Miller Lt,
$5 26oz Corona, $5 Skyy Bloody Mary, $2
Mimosas, Lilly Presents Sinful Sunday (2nd
and last Sundays)
Hydrate DJ Jeannette
InnExile Karaoke by Mariah Productions
Jackhammer $7 Long Islands, Amy Armstrong
and Lloyd Young Open Mic Night
Jeffrey Pub Ol’ Skool dance party, no cover
Mary’s Attic MaryOke with Velicity Metropolis
9 p.m. $4 UV and Cruzan (all flavors) and $3
domestic bottles. No cover after 9 p.m.
Parlour Kick-Ass Karaoke with Sue Heggeland,
$5 Miller pitchers
Roscoe’s Male Call hosted by Frida Lay at 5 p.m.,
$12 Absolut Long Island pitchers, $2.50 Bud
Light bottles, $5 Bacardibombs
Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3-8 p.m.,
Showtunes 4-9 p.m., best of the 60s-80s, 9
p.m.-2 a.m.
Scarlet Liquid Brunch: DJs Nick Phoenix and DJ
Dolo, $12 bottles of champagne, $4 Mimosas,
$4 Bloody Marys, $3 domestic beer
The Sofo Tap $5 “Sofo Marys”, $6 Miller Lite
big beers
Spin Super Size Me Sundays with $10 Absolut
pitchers and $10 beer pitchers. Game Show
trivia, 10 p.m - midnight, hosted by Mercedes,
$30 1st prize. Real Housewives of Atlanta
viewing party at 9, $1 Jameson ice cream
cones
Touché Open at noon, beer bust, 50¢ Bud & Bud
Light drafts, pool tournament at 7 p.m., movie
night in club room at 10 p.m.
Velvet Rope Mean Girls Brunch: $25 for unlimited mimosas, buffet brunch and a show, beer
bucket specials
MONDAYS
3160 Open-mic comedy showcase
Big Chicks $2 off all pitchers, $1 1/4lb burgers,
$5 Veggie Burgers (dine-in only)
The Call RuPaul’s Drag Race @ 8 w/ Ashley
Morgan. All-request video night, $2.50 well, $3
Miller Lite bottles, $12 Long Island pitchers
Charlie’s $2 well, $3 Bacardi, $10 Absolut pitchers, line dance lessons 7 p.m., It’s Just BINGO
Bitch with Man Fag at 11 p.m.
Circuit Mondays with Mz. Ruff-n-Stuff & the
Rocketts, DJ Stoney
Crew Pub Stumpers trivia, $50 bar tab for winning team, $6.50 Absolut Ruby Red/Mango
Margaritas, $3 Labatt Blue bottles, 1/2 Price
flatbread pizza (7 varieties to choose from)
Downtown Industry night with ‘80/’90s music
DS Tequlia Co. Half off all food
Halsted’s $5.95 burgers, $4 22 oz. Bud Lights
Hamburger Mary’s Charity HamBINGO with Velicity Metropolis at 8 p.m., $5 Sauza Margaritas
& frozen slushies
Hunters Service Industry Night, $2 all beers, $3
U-Call-Its, $4 top shelf
Hydrate $1 drinks all night, no cover before
midnight, DJ Laura B.
Jackhammer $3 U-Call-It (excluding Long
Islands and Martinis), free pool
Mary’s Attic Live soap opera “The Ville” at 8
p.m., $10
Parlour Karaoke with Creaoke 9 p.m.-1 a.m., $5
Miller Lite pitchers
Roscoe’s You’re the Star karaoke with Honey
West, 10 p.m., $3 off all Martinis, $2.50 Miller
Lite Drafts, $10 Miller Lite Pitchers; $5 Smirnoff
Bombs
Scarlet Live Music Mondays, $5 select Martinis,
$5 wine glasses, $3 PBR tallboys
Scot’s $3 all domestic bottles
Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3-8 p.m., Showtunes, 8 p.m.-2 a.m.
The Sofo Tap $4 well cocktails
Spin RuPaul’s Drag Race viewing party at 8,
karaoke with Phoenix O’Hara 10 p.m.-2 a.m.,
$4.50 Absolut cocktails, $4 Miller Lite & Coors
Light drafts, $4.50 Absolut cocktails
Touché Barstool Jocks - WWF wrestling & sports
at 8 p.m., free pizza
Velvet Rope Chicagoland Gay & Lesbian Singles
Meet-up sponsored by OPLAGA, $4 Martini
flights
TUESDAYS
3160 Cabaret open mic
@mosphere $1 well, $1 Miller Lite and Bud
Light drafts
Berlin Sinful Circus with DJ Chester, $1 well and
PBR, $5 cover
Big Chicks $5.50 Golden Margaritas, $4 Margaritas, $5 Chicken burger night, $3 Meatball
Sandwiches (dine-in only)
Bobby Love’s $2 domestic, draft and well drinks.
The Call Top 10 Tuesdays (watch Billboard topranked videos), $5 Skyy cocktails, $12 Long
Island pitchers
Charlie’s $10 Absolut pitchers, $2 Bud/Bud Light,
$4 Jäger & bombs, karaoke 9 p.m-1 a.m.
Club Krave College Jock Night: first drink 50%
off w/college ID, $2 well, $1 draft beer, $4
dom. pitchers
The Closet $3 well, Trivia Tuesdays
Cocktail $2 tacos, $12 El Jimador carafes, $6.50
Infusion vodka cocktails, $3 PBR tallboys,
Karaoke with Nolan in the Garden Bar at 10,
go-go boys 10 p.m. - 2 a.m.
Crew $4.25 Beergarita pints, Taco Tuesdays with
$1 tacos
Downtown $5 Jäger, Talentless Tuesday Karaoke
with Off-Key Kenny
DS Tequlia Co. $2 beer cans (including 16 oz.
PBR)
Hamburger Mary’s ‘Tini-Tuesday with $3 off all
Mary’s specialty martinis, “Pop Quiz” trivia
night in Rec Room, $3 off all Mary-tinis and
$2 PBR cans
Hunters $1 Wells, $1 Drafts, DJ Willyum
Jackhammer Karaoke with Creagh 10 p.m., $3
Bacardi and Finlandia (all flavors)
Parlour Grüve@Parlour: house music with DJs
Butch Duncan, Psycho Bitch, Freddie Bain and
Michael Serafini, $4 u-call-its
Roscoe’s “Drag Race 2011” with Frida Lay, $12
Absolut Mandrin Cosmopolitan pitchers, $3
off Martinis, $2.50 Miller Lite Drafts, $10 Miller
Lite Pitchers, $5 Three-O Bombs
Scarlet ‘90s Night, DJ Heather Doble, $6 vodka
lemonade mini-pitchers, $3 domestic beers
Scot’s $2 off all Martinis
Sidetrack U-Video, all request night
The Sofo Tap Tringo (part trivia, part bingo) at 9,
$5 Absolut cocktails, $6 big beers (excluding
Guinness)
Spin Glee viewing party at 7, $4 you-call-it beer,
wine and cocktails, Mercedes hosts Bingo 10
p.m. - 1 a.m. with bartender Debbie Fox
Touché Hard Core Tuesdays, club room open
at 10 p.m.
nightspots
23
February 1, 2012
WHERE MY BAR AT?
21 Cell Block
3702 N. Halsted St.
www.CellBlock-Chicago.com
22 Charlie’s
3726 N. Broadway Ave.
CharliesChicago.com
23 Circuit
3641 N. Halsted St.
CircuitClub.com
24 The Closet
3325 N Broadway Ave.
theclosetchicago.com
26 D.S.Tequila Co.
3352 N. Halsted St.
dstequila.com
27 Elixir
3452 N. Halsted St.
ElixirChicago.com
28 Halsted’s
3441 N. Halsted St.
HalstedsChicago.com
29 Hydrate
3458 N. Halsted St.
HydrateChicago.com
30 Kit Kat
3700 N. Halsted St.
KitKatChicago.com
31 Little Jim’s
3501 N. Halsted St.
LittleJimsChicago.com
32 Lucky Horseshoe
3169 N. Halsted St.
33 Manhandler
1948 N. Halsted St.
34 minibar/winebar
3341 N. Halsted St.
minibarchicago.com
35 North End
3733 N. Halsted St.
NorthEndChicago.com
36 Roscoe’s
3356 N. Halsted St.
Roscoes.com
37 Scarlet
3320 N. Halsted St.
ScarletBarChicago.com
38 Sidetrack
3349 N. Halsted St.
SidetrackChicago.com
BOYSTOWN
39 Spin
800 W. Belmont Ave.
17 3160
Spin-Nightclub.com
3160 N. Clark St.
myspace.com/Chicago3160 40 Steamworks 3246 N. Halsted St. (bath)
18 Berlin
SteamworksOnline.com
954 W. Belmont Ave.
BerlinChicago.com
41 Taverna 750
750 W. Cornelia St.
19 Bobby Love’s
3729 N. Halsted St.
DOWNTOWN
BobbyLoves.com
42 The Baton
20 Bucks Saloon
436 N. Clark St.
3439 N. Halsted St.
TheBatonShowLounge.com
BucksSaloonChicago.com
43 Downtown
440 N. State St.
DowntownBarandLounge.com
ANDERSONVILLE
1 @mosphere
5355 N. Clark St.
atmospherebar.com
2 The Anvil
1137 W. Granville Ave.
3 Big Chicks
5024 N. Sheridan Rd.
BigChicks.com
4 The Call
1547 W. Bryn Mawr Ave.
CattleCallChicago.com
5 Crew
4804 N. Broadway Ave.
WorldsGreatestBar.com
6 The Glenwood
6962 N. Glenwood St.
TheGlenwoodbar.com
7 Hamburger Mary’s/
Mary’s Attic
5400 N. Clark St.
HamburgerMarysChicago.com
8 Jackhammer
6406 N. Clark St.
Jackhammer-Chicago.com
9 Joie De Vine
1744 W. Balmoral Ave.
10 Man’s Country
5017 N. Clark St. (bath)
MansCountryChicago.com
11 Parlour
6341 N. Clark St.
ParlourOnClark.com
12 Scot’s
1829 W. Montrose Ave.
ChicagoScotsBar.com
13 The Sofo Tap
4923 N. Clark St.
SofoBar.com
14 Spyners
4623 N. Western Ave.
Spyners.com
15 T’s
5025 N. Clark St.
TsBarChicago.com
16 Touché
6412 N. Clark St.
ToucheChicago.com
24 nightspots
February 1, 2012
44 Second Story Bar
157 E. Ohio St.
Near North
45 Club 2506
2506 N. Clybourn Ave.
46 Krush Nightclub
1675 N. Elston Ave.
16
8
11 2
4
The Southside
47 Club Escape
1530 E. 75th St.
ClubEscapeChicago.com
48 Escapades
6301 S. Harlem Ave.
49 InnExile
5758 W. 65th St.
InnExileChicago.com
50 Jeffrey Pub
7041 S. Jeffery Blvd.
The Burbs
51 Club Krave
13126 S. Western Ave.
Blue Island, IL
ClubKrave.com
52 Hideaway
7301 W. Roosevelt Rd.
Forest Park, IL
hideawayforestpark.com
53 Hunters
1932 E. Higgins Rd.
Elk Grove Village, IL
HuntersNightclubs.com
54 John L’s Place
335 154th Pl.
Calumet City, IL
55 Maneuvers
118 E. Jefferson St.
Joliet, IL
JolietManeuvers.com
56 Stonewall Inn
8143 W. 47th St.
Lyons, IL
stonewallchicago.com
57 Velvet Rope
728 W. Lake St.
Oak Park, IL
VelvetRopeOakPark.com
58 Temptations
10235 W. Grand Ave.
Franklin Park, IL
indiana
59 Dick’s R U Crazee?
1221 E.150th St.
Hammond, IN
DicksRUCrazee.com
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6
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28
20
36
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37 25
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39
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32
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58
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55
CHARLIE’S
CREW
Naughty and 19!
7th annual Chili Cookoff for Care For Real!
Photos by Pubert
Photos courtesy of Crew
nightspots
25
February 1, 2012
Brought to you by the combined efforts of
WINDY CITY
TIMES
nightspots
Wed., Feb. 01
Sidetrack Fundraiser to help
elect Michael Forti as Cook
County Circuit Court Judge.
Michael is a proud member
of the GLBT community
and has been rated highly
qualified by the Chicago Bar
Association. 6 pm, 3349 N.
Halsted St., www.michaelfortiforjudge.com
QSC Leap Year. Since it’s Leap
Year, QSC is welcoming back
startender extraordinaire
and favorite Leap Day b-day
girl, Ashley. Good tunes,
great people, and cheap
drinks to help ease the
winter cold away. $2 Hamms,
$5 Pork n Beams (Ham +
shot), $3 Beer Special TBA, $?
Love. Free cheeseballs, pool,
board games and sass. 9 pm,
Archie’s Tavern, 2600 W. Iowa
St. , www.facebook.com/qsc.
archies
Thursday, Feb. 02
Berlin Trannika’s Tea Party!
Lady Trannika Rex invites
you join her girls for a
night of larger-than-life
personalities, free-flowing
champagne, strategicallyplaced balls, giant hair, & shit
tons of confetti bombs. Featuring Trannika Rex, Miztress
Vana, Ruby Dee, Chic Filet,
Valentine, and Chicago’s
bearded lady D’Juana Cyber.
DJ Erik Roldan (Chances
Dances) and DJ Dicks. No
cover before 11 if you RSVP
on Do312.com, $5 after. 10
pm, 954 W. Belmont Ave.,
www.berlinchicago.com
Friday, Feb. 03
Sidetrack Join Equality Illinois
PAC for the super-popular
monthly First Friday Networking Social. Cocktails,
and prize drawings. $10
donation to the Equality Illinois PAC gets you two drink
tickets and a ticket for a door
prize drawing. 6 pm, 3349 N.
Halsted St., http://eqil.org/
events.html
26 nightspots
February 1, 2012
The Call Down With Love: A
Cabaret Show from Innatevloution Theater. Featuring
the songs of Motown. Directed by Toma & Raymond
K. Cleveland. $20 includes 1
drink ticket for well, house
wine or Miller drinks. Seating
at 7, show at 7:30, 1547 W.
Bryn Mawr, www.facebook.
com/thecallbar
Parlour Monthly First Fridays
event, benefitting Howard
Brown Health Center. This
month, featuring singer/
songwriter and Homolatte
producer extraordinaire
Scott Free. $10 for two drink
tickets; a portion of the
proceeds goes to HBHC. $5
raffle tickets for a chance to
win a champagne cocktail
party for 20 at Parlour and
more. All are welcome (yes,
all) and ladies can stay afterwards for Lipstick Fridays,
featuring DJ Teri Bristol. 7
pm, 6341 N. Clark St., www.
parlouronclark.com
Hydrate Varla Jean Merman
Live. Join Hydrate for an
intimate evening of theater
and insanity with the awardwinning comedian and star
of Girls Will Be Girls.9 pm,
3458 N. Halsted St., http://
www.hydratechicago.com/
home/, http://https://www.
brownpapertickets.com/
event/219314
Jackhammer Flesh Hungry
Dog Show ,this month
featuring Fatally Cool, Dyke
Van Dick, Skinny Paul, with
special guest Andrea Sottovocce. $8. Tickets at: http://
www.brownpapertickets.
com/event/222230. 9 pm,
6406 N. Clark St.
Scarlet Hell At Halftime- What
could possibly go wrong? A
tribute to failed performances throughout the year.
10 pm, 3320 N. Halsted St.,
http://www.scarletbarchicago.com
Saturday, Feb. 04
Center On Halsted Danny
Sotomayor NAMES Project.
AIDS Memorial Quilt for the
late activist Danny Sotomayor will be on display as
a special tribute on the 20th
anniversary of his death.
There will be refreshments. 9
am, 3656 N. Halsted St.
CAKE Chicago Madonna
Theme. Prize for the best
outfit of the night. Special
guest Ashley Thornton.
With Rebecca Kling, Vanessa
Vincent and Roxy Swain. 9
pm, Red Line Tap, 7000 N.
Glenwood Ave., www.facebook.com/cakechicago
Berlin Anastasia Santana’s
Birthday Extravaganza
featuring the drag stylings of
Anastasia Santana, Miztress
Vana, Trannika Rex, and Tori
Sass. Welcoming special
guest performers Sissy Spastik and Ruby Dee. $5 cover.
10 pm, 954 W. Belmont Ave.,
www.berlinchicago.com
Spin Jiggly Caliente & Phi Phi
O’Hara. Two performances
at midnight and 1 am. VJ
Riley York, DJ Bryan Smith.
$5 in advance, $10 at the
door. $20 VIP ticket. 800 W.
Belmont Ave., www.spinnightclub.com
Sunday, Feb. 05
Halsted’s Super Bowl
Madonna Blow Out Party.
Edge Alliance presents the
game in HD on all 12 TV
screens. $10 donation to
Edge Alliance will get you an
all-access pass to a spread of
Halsted’s favorite foods. 3441
N. Halsted St., www.edgealliance.org/
Spin Joe Green’s Super Bowl
Bash, presented by Green
Team Properties. $5 cover includes two drinks and buffet.
$10 Miller Lite or Coors Lite
pitchers. Doors open at 4:30.
800 W. Belmont Ave., www.
spin-nightclub.com
Scot’s Superbowl Sunday w/
Chili Contest. Enjoy the thirteenth annual “Slap My Ass
and Call Me Sally” chili contest at halftime. Bring in your
culinary creations before the
game. Judging at half-time.
First-place prize $100. 5 pm,
1829 W. Montrose Ave.
Crew Super Bowl at Crew.
See the Patriots take on the
Giants in Super Bowl XLVI.
Kickoff at 5:30. $6.50 double
Bloody Marys, $10 Miller Lite
pitchers, $12.50 Beergarita
& mimosa pitchers. And
what better place to see the
Madonna halftime show?
4804 N. Broadway, www.
worldsgreatestbar.com
Berlin Madonnarama: The
Super Bowl halftime show
afterparty. What will she say?
What will she do? DJ Riley
York. 10 pm, 954 W. Belmont
Ave., www.berlinchicago.
com
@mosphere Diva Drag Show
w/Angelique Munro. Celebrate Super Bowl Sunday
with drag divas Dena
Richards and Monique
Moyet, hot male dancers,
DJ David Byrne and hostess
Angelique. $2 well, $8 Miller
Lite pitchers. 10pm, 5355 N.
Clark St.
Thursday, Feb. 09
Chicago Red Dress Party A
national event dedicated
to creating awareness and
visibility for the HIV/AIDS
movement and raising
funds for organizations that
provide vital community services. Dress for the fight, end
AIDS. I {HEART} RED: $20/
on-line $25/door. Open bar,
small bites, “Red” raffle. 7 pm,
http://chicagoreddressparty.
org/tickets/, http://chicagoreddressparty.org/tickets/
Friday, Feb. 10
The Call Club Kylie. Calling all
the lovers to The Call for all
Kylie Minogue, all night with
DJ Riley York. 9 pm, 1547
W. Bryn Mawr Ave. , www.
facebook.com/thecallbar
Saturday, Feb. 11
Equality Illinois 21st Annual
Justice for All Benefit Gala.
Continuing its more than
decade-long tradition as
the largest LGBT black-tie
gala in the Midwest,
Equality Illinois hosts its
2012 Justice for All Benefit Gala. 6 pm, Chicago
Hilton and Towers, 720
S. Michigan Ave., www.
eqil.org
IL Gender Advocates ‘80s
New Wave benefit for IL
Gender Advocates. Beer
and wine. DJ Toast spinning the ‘80s New Wave.
Suggested donation, $5.
10 pm, Tsubo, 1821 W.
Hubbard St.
Spin Cupid’s Ball. Get your
heart on with porn stars
Samuel O’Toole, James
Huntsman and Marcus
Mojo. Sponsored by Next
Door Studios. 10 pm, 800
W. Belmont Ave., www.
spin-nightclub.com
Sunday, Feb. 12
Be My Valentine Family
Event Lynn Sage Cancer
Research Foundation’s
brunch buffet, Valentine’s
activities for children
and special concert by
award-winning children’s
musician Justin Roberts
& the Not Ready for
Naptime Players. Lighting
up the room “pink” will be
Justin Jacobson and Platinum Events, providing
DJ’d entertainment and
dancing, and there will be
a special performance by
PINKALICIOUS: THE MUSICAL, currently playing at
the Broadway Playhouse
through spring. 10 am,
http://www.lynnsage.org
Lorna Luft Celebrates
her mother with “Songs
My Mother Taught Me,”
a celebration of the
music and life of Judy
Garland, and a theatrical
extravaganza melding
one of the world‘s most
familiar songbooks with
personal memories of a
loving daughter. 4 pm,
Paramount Theatre, 23
E. Galena Blvd., www.
paramountaurora.com,
630-896-6666
Tuesday, Feb. 14
Sidetrack Valentine’s Day
at Sidetrack. Whether
stag, couple or triad, join
Sidetrack for roses, kisses
and restaurant gift card
giveaways. 6 pm, 3349
N. Halsted St., www.
sidetrackchicago.com
Late Bar All You Need Is
Love--Enjoy chocolate
martins, champagne and
wine specials with your
lovah. 3534 W. Belmont
Ave. 10 pm, www.latebarchicago.com
nightspots
CLASSIFIEDS
Adult DVDs
XXX DVDs XXX DVDs! No computer
necessary! Get DVDs the old
fashion way, by mail order. FREE
DVD catalog 1-800-722-4336.
Mention Nightspots, get $10
coupon. www.RADVideo.com for
online buffs. (TK, 2/29/12)
ADVERTISE HERE
Want to advertise your product,
service, etc. to thousands
of readers? Place an ad in
Nightspots! We offer affordable
rates, convenient service, and as a
bonus, your ad runs in our online
section for free. To place an ad,
contact Terri at 773-871-7610, ex
101, terri@windycitymediagroup.
com, or go to our website, www.
WindyCityMediaGroup.com.
FROM THE BOOTH
by Randy Pubert & Dick Groeper
You Got She-Mail
from Channel 1 Releasing
Pubert: In honor of a new season of
RuPaul’s Drag Race we are reviewing
She-Mail.
Groeper: Girrrl, I think this is our first
transsexual review.
P: This cover is a lady boy.
G: Good luck to our editor censoring
this front cover!
The first scene is set in a 1960s-style kitchen with a
horny housewife stripping for her husband.
P: Talk about Leave It To Beaver!
G: Except she has no beaver.
P: She does have a big set of knockers.
G: Her husband is a nerd.
P: Well he lost his glasses fast.
G: How many husbands can say that they can suck
on their wife’s penises?
P: He is slapping those boobs.
G: That is making a “joyful noise” for him.
P: Dolly would be jealous of that rack.
G: It’s as natural as hers.
P: She is banging her husband on the table.
G: Even with his argyle socks still on. What a happy
homemaker!
It’s office time with a secretary and her boss.
P: That secretary has a secret.
G: The bad lighting makes this scene look like it was
set in the ‘70s.
P: Maybe we are traveling through time with
transsexuals.
G: That boss was a sharp shooter.
Next we take a hike in the forest with a camouflaged
couple.
P: Are they speaking Spanish?
G: You would know more than me.
P: I think it’s Portuguese.
G: Their lips are so locked I am not sure that words
can get out.
P: It sounds like a dogfight in the background!
G: The guy is hot and has a nice sausage.
P: She is banging him over a picnic table outside.
G: They’re doing a little flip-flopping for a change.
P: This is the power couple on the video.
G: He came like a garden hose!
P: Maybe that’s why they kept it outdoors.
The following scene is set in the basement on an
eighties club.
G: Look at those cheap mirrors.
28 nightspots
February 1, 2012
JUDGING A PORN
BY ITS COVER
P: And that cheap wig. She looks like a run-overby-a -truck Ann-Margret.
G: There is a clothing mannequin behind them, kind
of strange.
P: I feel like this as after a pageant at The Baton.
G: The only thing she kept on were her heels for the
missionary position.
P: I finally figured out this is past footage collected
from All Worlds Video.
G: I love how she took off her wig to top him!
P: “You betta work!”
Flash forward into modern times with a twist.
G: It’s two cowboys and a cowgirl.
P: Riding it on a hay bale.
G: We got one in the front and one in the back.
P: Someone needs some anal bleaching ...
Back to Brazil with more camouflage to boot.
P: This time we are in a bunker.
G: I wonder what this film was called originally?
“Boobs in Brazil?”
P: They seem to be very open-minded about the
trans world there.
G: And very open mouthed ...
P: I have not seen many South Americans that I
didn’t like.
More scenes follow with a doctor, a pool and a
vampire!
P: With four hours of footage we couldn’t get to it
all.
G: There were transsexual vampires before True
Blood, I noticed.
P: This may not be for everybody but some definite
hot scenes in Brazil.
G: And good luck to all the Chicago contestants on
RuPaul’s Drag Race. Start your engines!!!
Pubert: Thumbs up the butt.
Groeper: Finger down the throat.
For something hot for your inbox visit http://www.
c1r.com.
Up in the air: Chicago House’s Clicquot In the Sky Champagne Wrapture
event on the 99th floor of the Willis Tower, Thu., Jan. 26.
Photos by Anthony Meade
Of Myths and Mortals: Opening reception for the sculpture and artwork of Philip Hitchcock
at Leather Archives & Museum’s G.A.G. Gallery, Fri., Jan. 27.
Photos by Kirk
nightspots
29
February 1, 2012
30 nightspots
February 1, 2012
Photo by Kirk
ouano
dave
photography
fashion fitness portraits
modelmayhem.com/daveouano
daveouanophotography.com
[email protected]
773.860.0162