Gyakutenryoku ~Pinch wo Mate

Gyakutenryoku〜PinchwoMate〜
bySashiharaRino(HKT48)
Foreword
Heyguys,thankyoufortakingthetimetoreadmytranslations.Firstof
all,Iwanttogivecreditwherecreditisdue.Noneofthiscouldhavebeen
possiblewithoutthesupportandhelpofthestafffromNewSchoolKaidan,
@jarunugget for cleaning the images scans, and most of all, to my
Japanese friend, Takei Yoshimi who put up with my unreasonable
demands.EventhoughsheisstilllearningEnglish,withoutherchecking
toseeifmywordscloselyresemblethemeaningandintentofwhatSasshi
wroteandcheckingformytypos,thistranslationofGyakutenryokumay
havebeenhalf-assedandmightnothavebeenthebestitcouldhavebeen.
For that, you have my utmost gratitude and I hope to repay the favor to
youallinkind.
LetmetalkalittlebitmoreaboutwhyIdidthisinthefirstplace.
In the international 48 fandom, there are many individuals and
translatingteamswhodogreatworkdailytoprovidetherestoftheworld
outsideofJapanup-to-dateinformationonthe48familyasfrequentlyand
as often as possible. Although my Japanese ability is just sustainable
enough to not have to rely on others, I can appreciate the effort that is
beingputintotranslationasIhavedoneitonandoffbefore.Whileitwas
great that people were putting constant effort into translating Google+
posts,Twitterposts,755posts,blogposts,TVshows,radioshows,tomy
knowledge,noonehaseverattemptedtotranslateanentirebookwritten
by an Idol before. First of all, books written by Idols are few and far
between - even more so for the amount of people who have actually
attemptedandfinishedit.Youwouldhavetobecrazytodothatbecause
nooneeverdoesthat....nooneexceptformeofcourse.Inshort,Iwanted
tobethefirstonetonotonlyhaveIattemptedit,butcarriedthroughand
finishedwiththeprojectaswell.Iwantedthatrecognitionandtobeable
tosaythat,"Ididitfirst."
With that recognition, I wanted to not only direct attention to myself,
but to NewSchoolKaidan, the site about Japanese Idols and a site that I
contributeto.WeweretheoneswhoproducedtheveryfirstKFCFanver.
videowithDavidLiaoJr.andhavehadoneofourvideogoneviralfora
short period of time. I want to keep pushing ourselves as a recognizable
brandthataimstobringanunderstandingofJapaneseIdolculturetothe
masses. Speaking of which, we do podcasts every Tuesday night at 12
midnight US EDT and put out articles about all things Japanese Idols.
Pleasecheckusout.
Last but not least, it goes without saying that despite the calculative
reasonsthatI'velistedsofar,IwanttospreadSasshi'sstoriesandideasto
everyoneelse.BecauseonceabookisreleasedinJapan,itstaysinJapannevertobefullyreadorunderstoodbytheworldoutsideofitexceptfor
the few who understand the Japanese language. My hope is that by
becoming the first one to do it, it will encourage other individuals or
translating teams to challenge other books that have been released like
Nakayan's "Hisenbatsu Idol", Uchida Mayumi's "Ienai Koigokoro", or
UchiyamaNatsuki's"KenpouShugi"sothattheircontentandideascanbe
sharedthroughouttheworldandtogiveusmoreappreciationonaspectsof
Japanese Idol culture or the individual members themselves which may
havenotbeenpreviouslyknownbefore.
Speakingofwhich,Ioriginallyhadintendedtoreleaseaversionofthis
bookwithoutthehelpofmyfriendbutsinceIwentoveritwithher,Ifeel
moreconfidentthatitismoreclosertowhatSasshioriginallyintendedto
say.Nevertheless,atranslationisatranslation,andtheyareneverperfect.
The only way for to fully understand Sasshi's words is to buy a copy of
Gyakutenryoku and read it yourself. This means that you will have to
know the Japanese language and if you don't know Japanese,
NewSchoolKaidanhasyoucovered.TheLearnJapaneseseriesthatImade
awhilebackisanadequateintroductoryserieswhichshouldbootstrapyou
onyourJapaneselanguagelearningjourney.Irealizeit'snotthebestinthe
world and I am looking to renew in it in the upcoming weeks so look
forwardtothat!Ifyoureadthisbookandyoupersonallyfeltthatdespite
the native check, the translations are still off and can be improved even
further, rather than giving me suggestions on what parts to improve, I
allow you to take the entire translation of this book to release your own
versionwithyourownimprovementsaslongasyoudon'tsellit.
Withthatsaid,Ihopeyouenjoythesetranslations.Itisanaccumulation
of2monthsofhardworkwithsleeplessnights.
The time of Japanese Idols is coming. Let us step up and rise to the
occasion,andIshallbewithyoueverystepofthewaycomrade.
-KennethUy@missingno15
翻訳者まえがき
この翻訳をもちろん⽇本の⼈は必要としていないと思いますが、
⼀応⽇本⼈にもメッセージや翻訳の動機を伝えたいと思います。ま
だ⽇本語勉強中なので、この前書きは⽇本⼈の友達に事前にチェッ
クしてもらっています。
まずは、なぜさっしーの逆転⼒を翻訳したかを話したいと思いま
す。
念のため⾔っておきますが、さっしー推しじゃないです。ちなみ
に、加藤玲奈推しで今年の総選挙では必ず彼⼥に投票をします。
あ、松岡菜摘ちゃんと沖⽥彩華ちゃんとわかにゃんとひらりーにも
⼊れます。
「好きじゃないならなんで訳したの」と不思議に思われるかもし
れないので、海外の様⼦をちょっとだけ説明をさせていただきま
す。まず、48グループどころか、（⽇本の）アイドルは⽇本のもの
なので楽しむには⽇本語を理解する必要があります。海外に居て⽇
本語が分かる⼈が、⼀⼈だったりグループやチームを組んで空いた
時間に番組の英語字幕を作ったり、好きなメンバーの⾊んなSNSを
訳したりしてみんなとシェアします。しかし、訳されているもの中
で（僕の知る限り）今まで誰もまだ挑戦したことがないのはメン
バーの出した本でした。例えば、なかやんの『⾮選抜アイドル』や
内⽥眞由美ちゃんの『⾔えない恋⼼』や内⼭奈⽉ちゃんの『憲法主
義』。そもそもアイドルが本を出すということは滅多にないし、さ
らに海外でその本が読まれることはまずありません。無理もありま
せん。訳の分量が多すぎるし、普通の訳よりも時間がかかるし、重
⼤発表みたいに今すぐ訳す必要がありません。でも誰もやったこと
ないからこそ、チャンスだと思いました。僕はその「最初にやっ
た」と⾔う肩書きが欲しかった。つまり、ただその名誉が欲しかっ
たのです。
僕は空いた時間にNewSchoolKaidanという⽇本のアイドル⽂化を
広めようとしているサイトでも活動しています。⽬にした⼈もいる
かもしれませんが、David Liao Jr.と協⼒してこの動画を作りまし
た。それから数年前に、某まとめサイトで僕たちが映っている動画
がちょっとだけ話題になったこともあります。NewSchoolKaidanの
知名度をもっと上げるため、というのもさっしーの本を訳した理由
のひとつです。
そして⼀番⼤きな理由は、「社会実験」をやってみたかったから
です。僕はあえて総選挙の投票期間を狙いました。僕はさっしー推
しじゃないし、別にさっしーの宣伝のために翻訳したわけでもない
ですが、さっしーのファンはどう反応するでしょうか。つまり、
『逆転⼒』の翻訳を出したら、どういう反応が返ってくるのか興味
があるのです。さっしーのファン、それからさっしー⾃⾝は総選挙
に向けてこの翻訳を宣伝に使ったりするでしょうか。この先、他の
海外ファンも刺激を受けて本を訳す気になるでしょうか。翻訳を公
開したあとにどんなことが起こるか、どんな結果がでるか⾒てみた
かったのです。
理由はだいたいこんなところです。あまり思ったような反応が
返ってこなかったとしても、少なくとも、本の翻訳をしたというこ
とは⾃分にとっては成果です。⾃分で⾔うのもなんですが、なかな
か凄いと思います。完成するまでに２ヶ⽉掛かり、その間たくさん
徹夜をしました。他にやりたいことがあっても後回しにしなければ
なりませんでした。やっと完成したので、ようやくまともに睡眠時
間が取れます（笑）。
ということで、指原莉乃の『逆転⼒ 〜ピンチを待て〜』の翻訳
をお楽しみください。
-KennethUy@missingno15
Thesetranslationshavebeenbroughttoyouby
NewSchoolKaidan.Thesetranslationsarenotforsaleand
willneverbeonsale.PleasesupportSasshiandKodanshaby
purchasinganoriginalcopyofGyakutenryokuonCDJapan
orAmazon.jp.
Preface
Ilost.
Iwassecondplace.
Inthisyear’sAKB48SenbatsuSousenkyo,Ilostto(Watanabe)Mayu
andrankedsecond.
Lastyear,IgotfirstplacesoIstartedannouncinginabunchofplaces
that I would get first for a second year in a row. What Acchan (Maeda
Atsuko)and(Oshima)Yuko-chancouldn’tdowasalsoimpossibleforme
todoaswell.
“In second place with the final total vote count at 141,954 votes.
HKT48,TeamH,SashiharaRino”
ThemomentwhentheMCTokumitsu(Kazuo)-sancalledoutmyname
inthevenueofthetallyevent,Icouldn’thelpbutfeelsofrustratedthatI
couldn’tbelievehowfrustratedIwas.AsIstoodinfrontofthemic,my
feelingsexplodedonthestage.
"I'mhonestlyreallyreallyreallymadatmyself!!"
I really respect the first place winner Mayu. She’s my senpai and I’ve
seenherputinsomucheffortforAKB48soIwasreallytofeelhappyfor
her.
Butstill,Icouldn’tbelievethatIlostonthatday.
Inthisyear’sSousenkyo,Ireceivedalotofsupportfromthefans.But
atthesametime,thewords“Crush・Sashihara”alsoenteredmyears.
"TrueIdolMayuVS.Pseudo-IdolSashihara"
Even I myself advertised the structure for this match up in my
Sousenkyo speech VTR. I don’t even think that either Acchan or Yukochansaidthattheywouldgetfirstfortwoyearsinarow.Iunderstoodthat
formetosaythatmightcausesomebacklash.ButIwentaheadandsaidit.
As someone who placed first last year, I felt that was my role. It may
seemexaggeratedifIwasusetheword"reciprocate"butforthebenefitof
the 48Group, I wanted to make this year’s Sousenkyo more exciting by
takingontheroleasthevillian.
I think…that’s why. Things like “But I tried so hard…”, made my
feelingsoffrustrationevenworse.
NooneunderstandshowIfeel.Everyoneisanenemy.
That’showstronglyIfeltwhenIwentbacktothedressingroomafter
thetallyingeventended.
But the people waiting there for me were friends. Takamina-san
(Takahashi Minami) said to me, “You really did your best this year”.
Miichan (Minegishi Minami) said to me, “You really did so much work
forthe48Group”.
Sotherewerepeoplewhounderstoodme.IwassohappythatIcried.
Afterwards, I went to the dressing room of the stage organizers who
always help us out at our HKT48 concerts. I wanted to thank them for
supportingme.
“Goodjob”,“Youdidyourbest”,“Yourspeechwasreallycool!”
Inregardstoallthekindwordsthatpeoplegaveme,Irespondedback
saying“I’msofrustratedthough!!”
Iwassogladtobeabletosaythat,thatIcriedagain.
Until now, I thought it would be advantageous to me to not show the
vulnerablepartsofmyselftothestaff.“That’swhatyousaySasshibutit’s
fine since you’re so privileged“. That was something I definitely did not
wanttobetold.
With that in mind though, the word, “frustration” just naturally came
out.Andthekindnesswheneveryonelistenedtomefeltsowarm.
LosingandtakingsecondplacewasfrustratingbutnowIdon’tfeelthat
wayanymore.Tobeginwith,beingsecondplaceamongagroupofnearly
300membersisaprettyamazingfeatinitself.EventhoughIdon’thave
anyspecialskillsoranythingtobeproudof,itwasallthankstothefans
thathelpedmegettosecondplace.Anditalsomademerealizeonceagain
thatI’msurroundedbysuchamazingfriends.
Wakingupthenextdaythemorningaftertheelections,Ithought,“I’m
glad I didn’t get first place again!” because it was tough making myself
seemasthe"invinciblecenter."
When I think about what happens next time, I think it’d make a more
interestingstoryifthere’sdownfall.That’showIfeelwhenIlookatother
people’s lives. People don’t want to support others who have everything
going right for them. Since there’s no downfall, the story has no drama
whichmeansthere’snothingtoworryaboutandwemightthinkthatitsok
tonotshowanysupport.
Yayfordownfall!
Yayforgettingthechancetowhine!
"Shouldn'tyoufeelalittlebitmorefrustratedthough?”
Idon'tknowwhattosaytothat.Becausefor6hours,fromthetimethe
tally event ended to the time it took me to get home and sleep, I was
feelingfrustrated.For6hours!
WhenIthinkbackonit,Ifeellikemylifehasbeenanaccumlationof
momentswhereIwasabletobouncebackfromtoughsituations.Youcan
recoverfromthesebecauseyougetintodifficultsituations.
IthinkthereasonwhytryingtogetfirstplacethisyearattheSousenkyo
was because there was no “pinch” to bounce back from. My life needs
moreofthoseitseems.
“That’saratherweirdofwayofthinking,don’tyouthink?”
I guess you can say that. When I thought about those things, some
peopletoldmetowriteabookaboutit.
Whetheryouthinkmywayofthinkingisweirdornot,Iwillleavethat
uptoyou.
TableofContents
Title
Foreword
翻訳者まえがき
Contribution
Preface
Chapter1-ThePinchPushesYouOn
MoodMakersandSchemers
TurningPassionintoMotivation
TheWorldIsNotJustSchool
ComputerintheLivingRoom
IRemembertheTimeWhenIWasAPartoftheAudience
LinkingDreamsandReality
If You're Not Satisfied With Where You Are, Gain the Courage to
MoveElsewhere
BecominganIdolThrough"Gyakutenryoku"
Chapter2-DiscoveringYourOwnWeapons
GivingUpOn"Traditional"
GettingtheCouragetoFailALot
LessonsfromtheProducer,HowtoDiscoverMyOwnWeapon
SlowlySayWhatYouThinkWithoutWorrying
WritingAsAWeapon
ChangingtheConditions
Chapter3-AcceptingtheCharacterGivenToMe
TheBungeeJump
TheOpportunityofHetare
YouDon'tMakeaCharacter,YouAcceptIt
BetweenDoingItorNotDoingIt,DoIt
BuildingaCharacterThroughBeingTeased
BreakingBarriersThroughTeasing
OtherPeopleDiscoverWhoYouAre
Chapter 4 - My Life's Biggest Push & the "Gyakuten"
ThoughtProcess
IPlannedOnQuittingAKB48
TheSuddenTransfertoHKT48
AChangeinAttitude
Don'tSpoutOutNegativity
NotLookingattheInternetWhenFeelingNegative
BecauseEveryoneAcceptedMe
TheGreatestChanceGivenbytheBiggestPinch
IBecameStronger
Chapter 5 - The Tactics to "Win With Everyone" Sashihara-styleProduceTechniques
The4PrinciplesofSashihara-styleProducing
FightingonYourTerms,Part1:ThoroughlyEnjoyOurselves
Fighting On Your Own Terms, Part 2: Choosing Songs That Breaks
theStandards
Fighting on Your Terms, Part 3: Creating an Act That Can't Be
Compared
ThinkingFromaFan'sPerspective
EntertainingThePublicAsWell
CreateAnAce,ChangeTheBattingOrders,Part1:Create,Supportthe
Center
CreateAnAce,ChangeTheBattingOrders,Part2:GiveEveryonea
Chance
Chapter 6 - The Things Necessary For Interpersonal
Relationsare"Guts"andan"ObjectivePerspective"
WithoutanObjectiveView,You'llBecomeanAwkwardPerson
SaveUponReputation
HowtoDoGreetings-Sashihara-style
I'llSayMyOpinionButI'llQuicklyTakeItBack
SubmitProjectPlansTwice
Don'tTurnYourEyesAway
AppearancesAreImportant
ABeneficialWayofComplaining
BeFranktoVIPs,BePolitetoSemiVIPs
Listen When Discussing Another Person's Problems and Leave it at
that
Don'tRecklesslyHumbleYourself
AlwaysBeProperInOrderToGiveAdvice
Don'tStickYourHeadIntoUnnecessaryThings
PayingForwardaSenpai's"Lessons"totheKouhai
Chapter 6 - The Things Necessary For Interpersonal
Relationsare"Guts"andan"ObjectivePerspective"
WithoutanObjectiveView,You'llBecomeanAwkwardPerson
SaveUponReputation
HowtoDoGreetings-Sashihara-style
I'llSayMyOpinionButI'llQuicklyTakeItBack
SubmitProjectPlansTwice
Don'tTurnYourEyesAway
AppearancesAreImportant
ABeneficialWayofComplaining
BeFranktoVIPs,BePolitetoSemiVIPs
Listen When Discussing Another Person's Problems and Leave it at
that
Don'tRecklesslyHumbleYourself
AlwaysBeProperInOrderToGiveAdvice
Don'tStickYourHeadIntoUnnecessaryThings
PayingForwardaSenpai's"Lessons"totheKouhai
Chapter 7 - Turning "Haters" Into Strength - SashiharastyleWorkTechniques
GettingInsultedisPartoftheJob
NotBeingTalkedAboutisWhenIt'sMostScary
InstanietyisProhibited
NotBeingLikedbyEveryoneisaGiven
What I Learned From 『Waratte Iitomo!』 The Attitude Of Having
Fun
Don'tBeAfraidofFailure
TheSecrettoNotTensingUpEvenontheBigStage
TrustthePeopleYouCanReallyTrust
Chapter 8 - Being Able To Turn Something Around by
"ChangingAttitudes"andwith"Assumptions"-SashiharastyleThoughtTechniques
BeingAbletoTurnAnythingIntoAPositive
ExpressWhatYouLikeIncessantly
BecomeIntoxicatedInYourself
ChangeAttitudesRightAfterBeingPraised
ListenToOnlyPraise
TheBiggestPrincipleIsTo"NotCauseOthersTrouble"
ConvinceYourselfThatIt'sForYourOwnSake
IAmHappiestWhenOthersAreHappy
YouWon'tLoseIfYouDon'tFight
ThereAreNoRivals
NotBeingGoodWithPeopleoftheSameAge
Don'tSetGoals
Chapter9-LivingEnjoyablywithGyakutenryoku
ChangeAttitudesandTurnItIntoSmiles
GyakutenryokuistheAbilitytoHaveOthersSupportYou
EnjoyYourLife!
Conclusion
Biography
EndNotes
BackCover
ThankYou
Takenatrelative'sweddingduringhermiddleschooldays.
BeforeshewasanIdol,Sasshiwasaquietgirl.
Chapter1
ThePinchPushesYouOn
First,letmeintroducemyself.
MynameisSashiharaRino,bornonNovember21,1992,currently21
years old, and my hometown is Oita-ken, Oita-shi. My nickname is
“Sasshi”or“Sashiko”.
I’m a member of HKT48’s Team H, and HKT48 is a sister group of
AKB48andwehaveourowntheaterinHakatawhereweperformmostof
ouractivities.IalsocurrentlydoubleasaHKT48TheaterManager.
IwasoriginallyanAKB48member.WhenIwasathirdyearinjunior
high, I passed the “AKB48 2nd Kenykuusei (5th Gen) Auditions
(September 2007 ~ October 2007)” and the following year, I moved to
Tokyoandbeganstartedmycareerthere.
The reason why I wanted to become an Idol in the first place was
becauseIwasinaprettybadpinch.
In this chapter, I’d like to talk about the first ever pinch that I
experiencedwhenIwasinOita,theplacewhichservesasthestartofmy
“Gyakutenryoku”.
MoodMakersandSchemers
Iwasbornintoanordinaryfamilyof4including,myfather,mother,my
olderbrotherandme.
It’sreallyreallyordinary.Anordinaryfather,andanordinarymother.
That'swhymybrotherisperfect.He’scompletelydifferentfromme.He
hassuchabrightpersonality,he’spopular,hasalotoffriends-theexact
oppositeofme.
My parents are like that as well. They’re very easygoing and have a
bright personality as well. The only one with such a screwed up
personalityisme.
Iwasreallyquietasakid.Verynegative.Ididn’tlikestandingoutandI
didn’t like seeing others stand out either. I looked down upon the class
clownsinmyclass.
I’mnotverygoodwiththosekindsofpeople.Yetnow,I’mturnedinto
onemyself.
….Ifeellikeitmusthavebeenmyparentsgenes.
Myfatherissuperpositive.Ahappy-go-luckymoodmaker.Asformy
mother,shemayhavesomekindofcalculativepersonality.
In 2012, Kodansha put out a photobook of me called “Sashiko”
(published January 2012). At the end of the book, there’s a letter to me
frommymother.Atthetime,IlivedtogetherwithherinTokyoandshe
toldalieinherletter.
Attheendoftheletter,shewrote,“IthinkIamgoingtoreturntoOita
soon. You’ve showed me just how much you’ve grown”. But after the
bookcameout,shedidn’tleaveforanentireyear!Shewasenjoyingthe
Tokyolifewaytoomuchanddidn’tplanongoingbackatall.Sheliedto
makeothersfeelemotional.
Theysaythatyourpersonalityisdeterminedbyyourparents.Itseems
likeI’veinheritedthegoodpartsofmyparents,mydad’shappy-go-lucky
moodmakerpersonalityandmymom’sschemingpersonality.
TurningPassionintoMotivation
I’velikedIdolseversinceIwasakid.Istilllovethemtothisday.
What got me into idols was “ASAYAN”. It’s a famous talent search
varietyshowthatIwatchedwhenIwasinfirstgradewhichgavebirthto
Morning Musume. It was about when Gotou Maki-chan was added to
Momusu as the third generation member and when “LOVEMACHINE”
cameout.
ThestartingpointformypassiontowardIdolswasGomaki.Afterwards,
itcontinuedwithKameiEri-chan(MorningMusume-6thgen),Hagiwara
Mai-chanfrom°C-ute,KumaiYurina-chanfromBerryzKoubou.
TheothergirlsinmyelementaryschoolclasswerealsointoMomusu.
Wedidthingsliketradetradingcardswithfriendsintheclassroom.
Probablyatthetime,IlikedMomusuasmuchaseveryoneelsedid.But
as I got older, everyone else began liking other things like dodgeball or
maleIdols.IstilllikedthemsoIwaslike“Oh,IguessI’mtheonlyone
left”.
In the latter half of my elementary school years, I felt that it starting
becominghardtosaythatIlikedIdols,especiallyfemaleIdols.IfeellikeI
wasabletoreadthosekindsofsocialcuesreallyearlyon.
ButIlikewhatIlike.Nomatterwhatothersthink....thatwon'tchange.
Even now, I still like everything about Idols from their music to their
dancesandmyfeelingsstillhasn'tchangedatall.MypassionforIdolsis
whatmotivatesmetocontinuemyactivitesasanIdol.
TheWorldIsNotJustSchool
WhatreallymademypassionforIdolssnowballwastheInternet.
OurfamilyreceivedourfirstcomputerwhenIwasaroundsecondyear
inelemetary.Iguessthisisoneofthosethingsyouwouldcallarealgame
changer.AtonofinformationaboutMomusuthatyounormallycouldn’t
getwasallthereintheInternet.
I could do stuff like watch videos, look at pictures, read other fan’s
blogsandplaintextsites.IliketowriteandIthinkI’mprettygoodatit.I
owe all that to the things I read on the internet during that time. The
Internet has allowed me to learn about the things needed to entertain
peoplethroughwriting.
I started surfing 2Channel in my 5th year of elementary school. As I
begain following the links from plain text sites I finally ended up in a
prettydeepworld.
IsaiditprettyfranklybutIgoon2Channel.Eventothisday.Ithasa
prettybiginfluenceinbuildingmycharacter.Withoutadoubt.
Back then, the board that I frequented was the “Morning Musume
(Wolf)1”board.Atfirst,Iwasjusttheretoreadwhatwasgoingon.Then
midway,Icreatedausernameandbeganpostingmyself.NowthatIthink
aboutit,Iwasaprettyweirdperson.Therewasnoothergirllikemeinmy
5thyearofelementaryschool.Obviouslythough.
Frommyfirstyearinmiddleschooltothemiddleofmythirdyear,Iran
myownblog.ItwasaMorningMusumefanblog.There,Iwasabletobe
straightfowardaboutthethingsIlikedandbyhavingconversationsinthe
comments with the people who read my blog continued to grow my
passion.
Thanks to the internet during that time, my passion grew and it is
definitelyconnectedwiththepresent.
By plunging myself into the world of the Internet, it made me realize
something.
”Theworldisn’tjustschool,itisn’tjustOita”.
If you're in a place where things aren’t going well or life isn’t going
well,youcanjustmoveontosomewhereelse.Evenifyoucan’talwaysbe
in that special place, if you just keep in mind that there is a place that
exists which is different from where you are right now, you’ll feel more
easy.
IfeelthatthosefeelingsthatIhadatthattimeisthebasisformywayof
thinkingnow.
ComputerintheLivingRoom
Iamacoldpersonwhoalwayslooksateverythingobjectively.Thisis
completely the Internet’s fault. But somewhere in me, I believe in the
kindnessofothers.Really,Ido!
IwilltalkaboutitmoreinthefollowingchaptersbutwhenItrytothink
about how I ended up like that, I think it was because of there was this
balancebetweentheInternetandfamily.
My parents have never been angry at me before. But they weren’t
overprotective either. They let me be. I never felt that they were cold
towards me, they raised me carefreely. They don’t stop the things that I
wantedtodo.EvenwhenIgotaddictedtotheInternet,theydidn’ttellme
tostop.Theyneverforcedontomethingslike“theInternetisbad”.
Now that I look back, it may have been a good idea to be using the
computerinourlivingroomsinceitwasaplacewhereIcouldbeseenby
my parents. My living room was where, to me, the two places where I
couldrelaxoverlapped-theInternetandmyfamily.
Recently I often think that the reason why I’m able to work hard in
Tokyo is thanks to my family. No matter tough things are or how hard
things get, I can believe that there is a place for me to return to, a place
thatwill,withoutadoubt,welcomemewithopenarms.
IRemembertheTimeWhenIWasAPartoftheAudience
I think that one of my strong points as an idol is that I myself am
originally an Idol wota. I’m confident that no one can beat me when it
comestowholovesIdolsthemost.
ThatlovemighthavebeencompletedwhenIwenttoanIdolconcertfor
thefirsttime.
During my fifth year in elementary school, everyone in Morning
Musume came to the Grand Theater in Oita (now known as the iichiko
CultureCenter)!
Ibeggedmymomtoaccompanymetotheconcert.
My seat was on the first floor a little bit on the left side somewhere
aroundthe28throw.IwasprettyfarinthebackbutGrandTheaterwasn’t
alargevenuesoitwasn’tlikememberslookedlikeantsfromafar.Itwas
incrediblyamazingtoseealive,movingGomakionstage.
Allittookwasoneconcert.Yousee,therearetwotypesofIdolwota.
Thefirstoneisthe“Zaitakuwota”,theonesthatmainlysupporttheiridols
fromtheirhome.Thesecondare“Genbawota”,theoneswhoshowupat
concertsandevents.Iwascompletelythelatter.Therewerealotconcerts
being performed in Fukuoka, so I finally obtained a ticket after much
struggle and rode the limited express train with my mom many, many
times….
NowthatI’manIdol,whenIseelittlegirlslinedupwiththeirmomsat
the place where they sell concert goods, it makes me feel nostalgic.
Sending letters to my favorite idols was something that I also did a long
timeagosowhenIreceivefanlettersfromfangirls,itmakesmewonderif
theyfeelthesamewayIdidbackthen,andiftheydo,it’dmakemereally
happy.
That’s why I hate being absent in a performance that I'm supposed to
appearinandnomatterwhathappens,Iwilldefinitelyshowup.IfIwas
oneofthefanscomingtoconcertandthememberIsupportedthemostleft
becauseofahealthrelatedreason,I’dofcoursegetworriedbutitwould
sucktocomeandshe’snotthere.
Everypersonthatcomestoaneventoraconcertpaysmoneytocome,
orgetsadayofffromworktocome,orskipsschoolorclubactivitesto
come.AsanIdolwota,IwaslikethattoointhepastsoIknowthatfeeling
verywell.BecauseIunderstand,IamabletofeellikeIcandomybestin
myjob.
LinkingDreamsandReality
ThethingsthatIaspiredforbackthenisnowwhatIdoformyjob.I
thinkthat’saprettyamazingthingifIcalmlythinkaboutit.
By the way, you can’t become an idol by just “admiring them”. You
have to want to be them. For me, I think AKB48 was what helped give
birthtothosefeelings.
I saw my first AKB48 concert in March during my second year of
middleschool.
ItwastheFukuokaconcertofthe“HarunoChottoDakeZenkokuTour,
~MadaMadaDazeAKB48!~”NationalTour.
Of course, there was a lot of information readily available on the
internet. The focus of the concert setlist was A4th Tadaima Renaichuu
stage songs. “So these are the songs that they perform at the AKB48
theatereveryday….”
Ithoughtthatwasreallycool.Andthatthoughtcamefrommewanting
togouponstageaswell.
I think it’s impossible for me to become an idol but I wanted to try
goinguponstageandIthoughtitwassomethingthatevenIhadashotat.
ItfeelslikeIhadfoundthepathwhichledtomydreamtobecomeanIdol
fromarealisticgoalofperformingonstage.
I felt that dream and reality started to slowly link together. It was just
around that time when something happened where I fully realized that I
wasinatoughsituation.
If You’re Not Satisfied Where You Are, Gain the Courage To Move
Elsewhere
While the wota life was fun and nice, my school life wasn’t doing so
well. The afterschool wind ensemble activites was fun but the classroom
wasn’t.
Aroundmysecondyearofmiddleschool,Iwasmetwithlightbullying.
I’vebeenlaughedatfornoreasonbythesegroupofathleticgirlsaswell
asinsultingmejustloudenoughsoIcouldhearitandgettingignoredon
purpose.
After I became a third year in middle school, it escalated. One day, I
receivedaletterinthemailthatsaid“Justdon’tcometoschoolanymore.”
I thought that they must have really hated me if they went as far as
givingmealetter.Itmademegoalllike,“Whatever.I’mtiredofthis.”
Ididn’twanttogoschoolanymoresoIstoppedattending.
Istillhadanormal,properlifethough.Iwouldwakeupinthemorning,
helpwithhouseholdchoresataroundnoontimeandthengotocramschool
around the time that I’d be doing afterschool activities. Even though I
stoppedattendingschool,itwasstrangethatIdidn’tgetintothehabitof
reversingupmysleepschedule.
I’msuremyparentswereworriedaboutmewithoutmenoticingit.But
theydidn’ttrytoforcemetogotoschool.Theywerealwayslike,“Ifyou
don’twanttogotoschool,thenyoudon’thavetogo”,alwaysputtingmy
feelingsfirst.
Withthatsaid,onSeptemberofmy3rdyearinmiddleschool,itbecame
thattimewhereIwouldhavetodecidewhatIwantedtopursueinlife.
“Fornow,IwanttogetoutofOita”,waswhatIwasthinking.Iwanted
togotoaplacewherenooneknewmeandstartalloveragain.
MyfeelingswerelikethefeelingsinthestoryItoldearlierwhenIdove
intotheworldoftheInternet.IfIdon’tliketheplacethatI’minnow,then
Ishouldjustrelocatetoadifferentplace.IfIcouldgiveadvicetoanyone
whoisbeingbulliedatschoolorisn’tdoingsowellatwork,Ithinkit’dbe
somethinglikethat.
BecominganIdolthrough“Gyakutenryoku”
I was good at English in middle school so I told my mom and my
teacher at cram school that I would attend the international classes at a
local high school and then study abroad from there. But I had secretly
appliedfortheAKB48audition.
I passed the preliminary application screening. The second part of the
auditiontookplaceinTokyosoItoldmyparentsmytruefeelings.
“IwanttogotoTokyoandbecomeanIdol.”
As I said earlier, because I dove into the world of the Internet, I
understood that “if things get tough, change where you are. Move to
another place”. Based on that way of thinking, the idea that the 3rd year
middleschoolerversionofmedesperatelycameupwithwastomoveout
ofOitaandbecomeanIdol.
Ialsopassedthefinalstageoftheaudition.Mymomsaidshesupported
me but I was worried that my dad who allowed me to take the audition
becausehethoughtIwouldn’tpassanywaywouldbeagainstitatthevery
end. As I timidly announced the results, he said “Do what you want. As
longasyourmomgoeswithyoutoTokyo.”
Now that I look back and think about it, any parent would be pretty
worriediftheirdaughterwhostoppedattendingschoolallofsuddensaid
that she wanted to go to Tokyo. And on top of that, to become an Idol.
You’d think they would force their child back to a more proper path at
leastonce.ButitwasbecausemyparentsgavetheOKthatIamherenow.
Ican’thelpbutfeelthankfultobothmyparents.
Andalsototheallthejudgeswhochoseme.
Ialsowanttopraisemyowncourageousness.
IwentfromahikikomoritoanIdol.Iturnedapinchintochance-my
veryfirst“Gyakutenryoku”experience.
AttheAKB48audition.Sasshisang『BINGO!』off-keydue
tonervousness.
Chapter2
DiscoveringYourOwnWeapons
IfeelthattheyearafterjoiningAKB48wastimemeantfordiscovering
myownweapon.Inthischapter,Italkabouthowtofindandpolishyour
ownweapons.
GivingUpOn“Traditional”
Once my activities as an AKB48 kenkyuusei began, I realized right
awaythatbeingatraditionalidolwasimpossibleforme.
But I did try in the beginning you know. When I was in Oita, I was
somewhatconfidentsinceIthoughtIhadacuteface.Butattheauditions,
whenIlookedattheothergirls,itslowlydawnedonmethatTokyowas
onanotherlevel.
WhenIwaspromotedfromkenkyuuseitoanofficialmember,Ifinally
gave up. It wasn’t just a problem about looks, but I just wasn’t good at
everythingfromsinging,dancing,andperformance.
Totopitoff,Iwasacharacter 2thatgotteasedprettyearlyon.It’snot
like I wanted to be teased, I just went along with it while everyone else
was teasing me. At the time, the spot for that kind of character was
available so I went straight ahead and took it, and it felt like I found a
placewhereIbelonged.
Nowthatitturnedtothis,Ihadnochoicebuttospeak.Iwasstrongly
convincedthatfocusingonMCwouldbetheshortestpathformetoreally
shineinthegroup.
Igiveupprettyeasily.Ormoreaccurately,Icanchangequickly.
Ifyouchangecourseearlyon,inexchange,youcreatetimetodevelop
yourweapon.
GettingtheCourageToFailALot
ThequestionthatIgetaskedthemostfromothermembersis“what’s
thetricktobeingabletotalkwellinMC?”AllIcansayis,“Honestly,you
justgoalongwiththeflow.”
Sohowdoyougetaholdofthat,wellIthinkthere’snothingelsebut
failingalotandfigureitoutfromyourfailures.
The advantage about the 48 Group is having a personal theater. The
theater performance is the “home field” so even if you mess up, the
audiencewillbeforgiving.
Infact,theygetsatisfactionfromseeingusfailandgrowingfromit.
SoItellthemembersthis:
“In the theater, I don’t think it’s a good idea to come up with a script
beforehandandthenstrictlyfollowingonlythat.Itmaybescarybutit’d
alsobeawastetodoitthatway.Youshouldtalkwhilecheckingthefan’s
reactions without being afraid. Because the theater is a place where the
fanshelpyougrow.”
In the beginning, I failed a lot. And my failures and the fans have
allowedmetogrowalot.
LessonsfromtheProducer,HowtoDiscoverMyOwnWeapon
IhaveaninterestingstorywhereIfullyrealizedmyfailuresandgrowth
atthetheater.
ThefirstteamthatIbelongedto,outofthreeteamsthatexistedatthe
time,A,K,B,wasTeamBwiththeyoungestaverageage.Itwastheteam
with traditional idols like Mayuyu (Watanabe Mayu) and Yukirin
(KashiwagiYuki).
DuringtheB4th“IdolnoYowake”concert,(February8,2009~April
16,2010),itwasthefirsttimethatIreceivedmyownposition.Itwasalso
thisconcertwheremysenpaigavemeclearinstructionstobetheoneto
moderatetheMC.Ihadbeentoldbyfansthat“Eventhoughyouspokeso
muchduringkenkyuuseiconcerts,youhaven’tbespeakingsomuchsince
yourpromotion”soIreallywantedtogetintoit.
ThisisastoryfromtheB4thconcert.
ThegeneralproducerofAKB48isAkimotoYasushi-san.Notonlydoes
heworkonthesinglesandthealbumsongs,hedoeseverythingfromthe
theaterconcertconceptstochoosingthesongsandmakingthelyrics.
Untilthen,Ibarelyhadthechancetomeethim.Ihonestlydidnotknow
whatkindofpersonhewas.
Akimoto-santhencametoourB4thdressrehearasal(ashowinwhich
everythingisdoneasitwouldbeinarealperformance).
In a concert, there is time for MC inbetween songs. It’s an important
time to bring out your character and express your thoughts to the fans. I
thinkMChasthiseffectwhereitincreasesthesenseofunitybetweenthe
stageandtheaudiencethroughlaughter.
The9thsong,"ItoshikiNatasha“,wasasongunitbetweenme,Haachan
(KatayamaHaruka),Tanamin(TanabeMiku).Attheendofthesong,the
three of us were supposed to do MC. At the dress rehearsal, as I said
"Yayyyyy!WellthenforthisMC~",wewerestoppedbyAkimoto-san.
"Thatsnotinteresting.Thesongyoujustsangandyouroutfitsarerock.
ThisiswhereyouguysshouldfullybecomerockstarsanddotheMClike
aminiskit.Decideateamnameandcalleachotherbynicknames.Decide
beforetheconcert."
"Ohgod",Ithought.
"Nooneisgoingtofindthatfunnyatall."
But there was no time to be complaining and we had no choice. The
three of us talked about and decided our nicknames and our team name,
"Team Karyuudo." The real concert began and it became time to do our
MC after the song performance. Once we got together, we began the
introductions.
"You'retheonlyoneforme,myname'sDurianSashihara.
Theylovedit.
Through Akimoto-san's advice, Team Karyuudo afterwards began to
add some simple fake information about itself at each concert. Until our
“break up” at the final concert, the fans who came to the theater really
enjoyed seeing our characters grow. Thanks to that, at Request Hour (an
event where fans vote on 48G songs) which takes place every winter,
“ItoshikiNatasha”gotareallyspotatthebest6.
Even though I thought it’d fail, it was a huge success. If you change
yourattitude,andjustdoit,somekindofresultwillfollow!
"Akimoto-san is amazing." It was also the first time for me to
experiencewhatproducerswerelike.
SlowlySayWhatYouThinkWithoutWorrying
LatelytherewasaneventthatmademeproudofmyMCskillsgetting
better than before. It was at the AKB48 Kokuritsu Kyougijo concert
(March 2014). My performance was just one encore song so I was
watchingduringthefirsthalfamongtheaudience.SinceI’mapersonwho
lovesIdolconcerts.
Suddenly,Igotcontactedbythestagedirector.“It’sgoingtotakesome
time until the next preparations. Could you go on stage and talk for five
minutes?”Iunderstoodthatthebackstagewasinchaosanditwasn’ttime
foraskingquestionsorfordiscussionsoIanswered,“Igotit”,andwent
uponstage.
I go through the pathway and up the stairs - in about ten seconds, I
thoughtupofapunchline.It’snotagoodideatobelookingforapuncline
whileyou’retalking.Toputittheotherwayaround,aslongasyoufigure
outthepunchline,itshouldn’tturnouttoobad.
ThepunchlineIdecidedatthetimewasaboutShimada(Haruka)getting
fat.
“I was watching in the audience for two, three hours…...and man was
Shimadafat.”
I calculated that the fans were definitely going to react to it since she
herselfalsomadeitintoatopicandshewouldgetteasedaboutitonTVso
thetimingwasright.Idecidedtojustgowiththatasthepunchline,soI
justneededtogoonstageandtalkaboutthethingsthatcametomind.
Theylovedit.
IrealizedonemorepieceofadvicethatIcouldgiveaboutMC.Speak
whilekeepinginmindthis,“Calmdownandslowlytalkoutthethingsin
yourheadorwhatyouwanttoexpress”.
Itmaybedifficultinthebeginning.Butifyougetusedtoit,anyonecan
doit.
WritingAsAWeapon
My other weapon is something that is intimately related to MC. That
weaponiswriting.
InMarchof2010,IjoinedOhtaProandbecameonoftheirtalents.The
AprilrightafterIjoined,Istartedablogcalled“SashiharaQuality.”
Speakingofwhich,itseemedthereweremanyfanswhoweresurprised
tohearthatIjoinedwithOhtaPro.ItwasanagencythatAcchan(Maeda
Atsuko)andYuko-chan(OshimaYuko)belongedtosoitwasthoughtof
amongfansastheagencyyougotobecomeanactress.Butthinkaboutit.
Dachou Club-san, Ariyoshi (Hiroiki)-san, Tsuchida (Teruyuki)-san,
Hikomaro-san…….
Normally,thisagencywouldbethebestfitforme.
Idigressthough.
Anyway,myblog.
WhenIwasinOita,IwasrunningmyownblogandIalsowasdoing
mobame3soIfeltthatIwasprettygoodatwriting.
As I put my first post as my introduction, I suddenly received 3000
comments. Not only that, my fans are weird. They all act dumb in the
comments.WhenIselectedthosekindsofcommentsandreactedtothem
withapost,itbegantopickupevenmore.
After posting my second post, I suddenly received a message on my
phonefromAkimoto-san."Interestingblog."
I was surprised. I was actually more surprised that he knew my email
addressinthefirstplace.
When I re-read my old blog posts, I honestly don’t know what’s so
interesting about them. By the way, the second blog post that got praise
fromAkimoto-sanwhensomethinglikethis:
WhiteScallionsandaWhiteSasshiandaDarkNight
2010-04-3022:21:36
Yesterday,whenIwaswalkingonthestreet,therewasascallion
completelyontheroad.
I’llsayitagain.
Therewasascallioncompletelyonthefloor.
Wouldn’tyoubesurprised?
The contrast of the white scallion in the middle of the dark night
wasamazing.
TherewasnothingIcoulddoaboutitsoIdidn’tdoanythingbut
whenIcheckedinthemorning,itwasalreadygone(°__°
Iwonderwhereitis.
Whoisitwith?
BeforeIrealizedit,allIcouldthinkaboutwasthatscallion.
Wait,youdon’tthinkthiscouldmean…..
….Love!?
Theonlythinga17yearoldthinksaboutbefore10PMonaFriday.
Because of this post, I was able to start conversing with Akimoto-san
viatextmessages.
“One post a day is too little so increase the amount of posts.” “It’s
interesting to see you ask questions to your readers. Why don’t you try
makingacornerlikearadioshowwherepersonwhosendatonofmail.4”
WhenAki-PheardthatIwantedtogetmyblogtorankfirstthroughaTV
show, he said, “Why don’t you try posting a hundred times in a day?”.
Andthat100blogpostshowreallydidhappen.
ItwasaroundthistimewhenIstartedfeelingthatAki-Porotherpeople
began to think that I was interesting. If I think about it that way, I think
thatmyblogwaswhereeverythingbegan.IfithadallbeganwhenIfound
2Channel and started posting there when I was in my fifth year of
elementaryschool,thenthereasonformycurrentselfmightbethanksto
2Channel.
Itseemsasifmyweaponwascultivatedthroughtheinternet.
That’skindascary.
ChangingtheConditions
Therearemanymembersinthe48Group.Thecompetitionisalreadyas
tough as it is. Yet when I see the younger members, I feel that many of
themsticktoomuchwiththetraditionalIdolrouteandareunabletoshow
theirpersonality.Ifyouplayedbythesamerules,inthesamearenawith
thesameweapons,losingbecomesapparent.
If that’s the case, then change the conditions. Don’t play your
opponent’sgame!
CanIgivesomeadvice?
“Don’tworryaboutit.That’snottherightplace.”
“That”,meaningtheopponent’sarea,andifyou’reinit,you’llloseso
there’snochoicebuttofindanotherpath
Youhavetofindoneofyourownweapons,honeit,andthenfightwith
it.It’syouronlyoption.
SasshichallengesthebungeejumpforaTVshowforthe
secondtimebutwasnotabletomaketheplungeintheend.This
iswherethemarchof"HetareSashiko"begins.
Chapter3
AcceptingtheCharacterGivenToMe
When you hear the name, “Sashihara Rino”. what are some of the
imagesthatcometomind?“Hetare”5right?
Ididn’tchoosethattypeofcharacteronmyown.BeforeIknewit,Ihad
becomethatkindofcharacter.
Actually,Ihaveaturnaboutstoryaboutthis.Iwillfirstbeginwiththat
story.
TheBungeeJump
AmongthepinchesthatI’vehad,theonethatfitstheamongthenumber
of predicaments that I can count with my fingers was when I had to do
bungee jumping for a variety show (TV Tokyo,『Shukan AKB』
broadcasted on September 25, 2009, “The 1st Gutsy Queen
Championship”).
Itwasa42meter(approx.138feet)jumpfromabridge.
The more senior members, Tomochin-san (Itano Tomomi), Tomo~michan(KasaiTomomi),andthen(Nito)Moenofromthesamegenerationas
mewentahead,jumped,andsucceeded.Iwasthefourthtogo.
Icouldn’tdoit.Icouldn’tjump.
Thisisprettybad.Thisisn’tlookinggood.Atthetime,Icouldn’teven
make the Sousenkyo Senbatsu and any status I had left was now barely
hangingon.
It’snotlikeIhaveanintensefearofheights.OfcourseIwasafraidof
tallheightsbutit'snotsobadthatIwouldloseconciousness.ButIdidn’t
jump.Ijustdidn’twanttodie!
If it was a rollercoaster, I would have been fine. You get on the
rollercoaster and while you’re on it, it moves for you. Bungee jumping
however,itdoesn’tstartunlessyoudosomething.That'snotforme.
Imean,youbecomejustonestepclosertodeath.Ifyoudon’tdoit,the
possibilityofyoudyingiszeropercent.Butifyoudoit,thepossibilityof
dyingrisesfromzeropercenttohowevermanypercentitmaybe.Whydo
Ihavetodosomethinglikethatofmyownwill?
I don’t want to die at all. I'm all about living with that mindset of not
wantingtodie.Alltheway.Ijustwanttolivehappily.
Inthestudio,Iproclaimed,"I'mgoingtodoitthenexttime!!"TheTV
staffwereniceaboutitandimmediately,Iwasabletotryitagian.
I practice for many days at Iketani Yukio's gymnastics club and
attemptedtobungeejumpatYomiuriland.Itwasa22meterdrop(approx.
72feet).Youknowthatit'sjustaregularattractionatanamusmentpark
right?
Icouldn'tjump
Ijustdidn'twanttogetclosertodeath!
TheOpportunityofHetare
Ever since my failure at bungee jumping was broadcasted, people
aroundmestartedcallingme“hetare.”
Atfirst,Ididn’tknowthat“hetare”wassupposedtobeaninsult.Itook
it the same way as Mayuyu (Watanabe Mayu) being called “CG” so I
thought that they were giving me a character. I have very little pride so
evenafterIrealizedthattheywereinsults,Iwaslike,“Idon’treallymind
aslongastheythinkit’sinteresting.”
After about two years, Akimoto-san told me, “You have a ton of fans
whosupportyourhetarecharacter”andI’mlike,“Ahok.Lucky!”Asfor
the hetare character, I thought that if other people said that I’m a hetare
character,thenIguessIwasandjustwentalongwithit.
CanIsaythetruththough?
Atthetime,Ididn’tthinkthatIwashetare.
IstartedbeingcalledhetarebecauseIcouldn’tdothebungeejumpbut
notjumpingwithoutbeingafraidoftheeyesofthestaffinthefirstplace,I
think,isnothetare.Infact,ittakesguts.You’dneedtobeprettybraveto
saythatyou’regoingtoconqueritthesecondtime,haveallthegrownups
doallthisworkforyou,andthennotjump.
Butthere’snomistakethattheopportunityofthehetarecharacterwas
bornfromthattimewhenIrefusedtobungeejump.Thankstothistypeof
characterbeingspreadaround,mysituationbegantoquicklychange.
YouDon’tMakeACharacter,YouAcceptIt
I believe that in order to stand out or find a place where you belong
withinagroup,havingacharacterisimportant.AndIthinkthatthereare
many people who are worried about that. I have my own theory about
havingacharacter.
A character is something you don’t make yourself, it’s something you
accept.
It’s probably a good idea to avoid deciding what kind of character
you’regoingwith.Ifyoustickwiththatcharactertoomuch,there’sahuge
dangerthatyou’llfalloutofplacewithinthegroup.
Therealsomightnotbemuchbenefitingoingoutandsayingyouarea
certaincharacter.You,byyouself,won’thavemuchimpact.Ithinkthata
character is something that others eventually accept once others around
youacknowledgeandfinditinteresting.
In the beginning you should play it safe and make youself the person
withnothingspecialaboutthem.Afterwards,youjustwaitpatientlyuntil
the people around you begin telling you, “OO, you seem to be a XX
character.” Then go along with it. It’d be good to not deny the character
thatothershadgoneoutoftheirwaytogiveyou.
However, following through with a character that won’t eventually be
hardtodolateristheidealcase.Tryoutforawhile,justhowmuchofa
certaincharacteryoucanreallybecomeandifyoufeelthatyoudon’tlike
itforevenalittlebit,Ithinkit’dbeagoodideatoswitchcharacter.
Forexample,ifyoucanestablishaburikkocharacteraspersistentlyas
Milky(WatanabeMiyuki),thenIthinkaburikkocharacterisOK.Buta
lukewarmburikko,willbelookeddownuponwithinagroupofgirls.
Seeingwhetheracharacterthrownatyoufitsyouornot,issomething
thatyouyourselfshouldmakesuretodo.
BetweenDoingItorNotDoingIt,DoIt
There are many times when one might say something like “That’s not
forme.”That’snothowIfeel.
Forexample,let’ssayonavarietyTVshow,you’vebeensuddenlytold
to do an imitation of someone or something. I’ll casually do anything
basedonthesituation.Idon’tthinkthat’sembarassingoranythingatall.
This part about me makes me think about how little pride I have. It’s
pridethatbarelyreachestheground.Pridethat’sbarelyonthehorizon.
ButI’mgladthatIdon’thavemuchpride.
Yougetembarrasedbylookingatpeoplewhoseemembarrased.Justby
beingembarrassed,they'regoingtomessup.
Idon’treallyfeelembarrassedifsomeonebringsuptomedirtyjokes.If
Isaidsomethinglike,“Pleasestopthat-it’sembarrassing”,thentheflow
of the conversation stops. I don’t think there’s any need to go take the
initiative and start talking about dirty jokes. If you respond back with
something like, “Don’t say such weird things~”, the flow of the
conversationwon’tstop.
Throwingawayyourprideisbeneficialinmanyways.Therearealotof
jobswhereyoumightthink,“WhydoIhavetodothis.Idon’twanttodo
it”butbetweendoingitandnotdoingit,doingithasmorebenefit.
Even in cases where you’re made to do something that you think that
youcan’tdo,justdoingitisdefinitelymuchbetter.It’sawasteoftimeto
beworryinginthefirstplace.Trytocutthetimespentworryingasmuch
asyoucan.
There will be times where I’ll think “That didn’t make any sense” or
“Whatwaswiththatjob”but“doingsomethingisbetterthannothing.”
Doing a certain job and your value drops or not doing and your value
drops.Betweenthelesseroftwoevils,Ithinkit’dbetheformer.
Feelfreetoworryaboutifit’sembarrassingorifthere’sanymeaningto
it.Butbetweendoingandnotdoing,doit.
BuildingaCharacterThroughBeingTeased
Intheend,perhapstotalkaboutcharactersistotalkaboutpride.“That's
notformycharacter.”Thatkindoftalkingisfilledwithpride.
MaybeifIwasmuchcuter,Iwouldhavemuchmorepride.IfIwasa
morebeautifullookingperson,Imighthavethoughtthatjustbeingpretty
wouldbeenough.Butthere’snopointinbeingjustaquiet,prettywoman
withnokindofcharacter.
Idefinitelythinkit’sbettertohavelittlepride.
For example, having small breasts is one of the complexes that I have
andpeoplemayfeelsorryformeaboutthat.Butthere’snowayformeto
fixit.
Ifthat’sthecase,makingtheattempttobringitupmyselfandtakingit
toamorefundirectionismuchbetter.Ratherthanhidingit,Ithinksaying
itwithoutfeelingembarrassedisbetter.
Ithinkwhatgetstopeopleandmakesthemfeelhurtisthattheythink
their complexes are “embarrassing.” If that’s so, then throw away those
feelings of embarassment. I’m a rather nonchalant person. Or rather,
surprisingly,alotofpartsaboutmeareprettyAmerican.
It’sthesameregardingtopicsaboutmebeingugly.WhenIwasinOita,
I thought that I was somewhat cute. But when I came to Tokyo, it was
completely different. I remember calling myself ugly before anyone else
did.IguessIwastoldthatonsiteslike2Channelprettyearlyonthough.
Earlier I said, there was no point in being a quiet, pretty woman but I
thinkthatanunfriendlyuglypersonisterrible.
If I told everyone around me, “Please don’t call me ugly”, they’d say,
“Yeahsure,butIdon’thaveanythingelsetosay.”They’dhavenochoice
buttobecarefulaboutwhattheysaytome.ButifIsaid,“Yeahgoahead,
callmeugly!”,thentheymayteasemeaboutit.
If they tease me, then I too can put myself forward in the form of
reactions. Building one’s own character through being teased by others
aroundyou.That’showthewomanknownasSashiharaRinogotoutinto
theworld.
Originally,I’mapersonwithnopridesoI’mokaywithgettingteased
buttheremaybemanyotherpeoplethatarenotokaywiththat.Youmight
thinkitsucks.Inthesecases,justthinkthatit’sforyourownsakeandbear
withit.
If there’s something you’re able to do within your own abilities, then
you don’t need to be teased by others, but if you think there’s nothing
within your abilities that you can do, then rely what you can rely on.
Because,youknowthatevenifyou'renotaninterestingperson,thepeople
aroundyoumakeyououttobeinterestingright?
BreakingBarriersThroughTeasing
I’m going to go a little off topic here but there are merits in teasing a
chracterbecauseitmakesoneseemfriendly.
ThisApril,(Kimoto)KanonfromSKE48isgoingtohaveaconcurrent
positioninHKT48.Atthebeginningoftheconcertthatmarksthestartof
heractivitiesasaconcurrentmember(AKB48GroupHaruConinSaitama
SuperArea~OmoidewaZenbuKokoniSuteteike~),Iintroducedherbut
Ialsosuddenlyteasedheraboutherchin.
“SKE48fans,don’tgetangrybutisitOKifIteaseheraboutherchin?”
Shehasquitethechin.
ThemomentKanonsaid,“It’sOK!”,oneofthebarriersbetweenusas
membersdisappearedandIthinkitalsosetheruptobereceivedwellby
HKT48 fans. I’m sure there were fans that opposed the concurrency
positionbecausethey’dthinkthatifamemberwho’sdoingwellinSKE48
joined,thentheirownoshimenmightfalloutoffavor.
Instead of treating her like a princess and a guest, showing that she’s
“oneofus”throughteasingherbenefitsnotonlyHKT48,butKanonand
therestofthefansaswell.
Bytheway,Ididaskherforherpermissiontoteaseheraboutherchin
before the concert. Since she said it was ok, I went ahead and did it. I
guessinthatsituation,theonlythingshecouldsaywas“yes”......
OtherPeopleDiscoverWhoYouAre
LookslikeIwasn’treallyofftopic.Bearwithmeherealittlelonger.
ThegroupIbelongto,HKT48,alsohasactivitiesintelevision.
AsofJuly2014,ourregularTVshowsare:
『HKT48noOdekake!(TBS)』
『HKTVariety48(KyushuAsahi)』
『HKT48noGoboten(TVNishiNippon)』
『HKTShakariki48!(KyushuAsahi)』
『HKTno「Hokamina」~SonoHokanoMinasan~(NOTTV)』
IgetalotofopportunitiesdoingMCforthoseshows.AfterdoingMCa
lot by myself, I began to strongly feel that as MC, getting members to
movethewayIwantthemtobenefitsboththemembersandtheTVshow.
It’saterriblethingtosay,butit’sveryreal.
If you get handed a character on TV, you can also carry that to the
theaterandfightyourwayintheentertainmentindustrywiththatweapon.
For an MC to give a person a certain character means to say that, “This
part about you is interesting.” You shouldn’t be able to move forward if
youdenysomethinglikethat.
Thereisnosuchthingas“yourrealself.”
There’snosuchthingasyour“naturalself.”
Ithinkthat“whoyouare”issomethingthatpeoplediscoverforyou.
ThisistheconclusionthatI’vecomeupwithafterexperiencingvarious
things.
At「AKB48noAllNightNippon」.ProducerAkimoto
Yasushiannouncesthebiggestsurpriseyet.
Chapter04
MyLife’sBiggestPinch&the“Gyakuten”
ThoughtProcess
The Senbatsu members for the next CD are chosen through fan votes.
Members of an Idol group are going to be ranked based on their
popularity.Ithinkboththemembersandthefanshaveaccepted,ormore
likehavebecomeusedtoitnow,buttheeventthathastakenplaceonce
per year since 2009 known as the 「Senbatsu Sousenkyo」, is cruel.
Akimoto-san,thisistoounpredecented.
Thankfully,thankstoeveryone’ssupport,sincethefirstSousenkyo,my
rankhaskeptgoingup.
27thin2009,19thin2010,9thin2011......
Inthebeginning,eventhoughIappearedinaPV,Ireceivedabouta2.5
secondcutwhichwasturnedouttobelikea“FindSashihara!”situation
but thanks to my rank at the Sousenkyo going up, I eventually appeared
properlyforoveraminute.
And in 2012, I was fourth place at the 4th Sousenkyo. 67,339 votes. I
really,reallycouldn’tbelieveit.But.
The4thSousenkyotallyingeventwasonJune6th.
Tendayslater,IwastransferredtoHKT48.
Inthischapter,Iwastalkaboutthethingthathasbeenthebiggestpinch
inmylifesofar.
IPlannedonQuittingAKB48
I was contacted regarding an article published about me by a certain
weeklymagazineonaMondaywitha“WaratteIitomo!”livebroadcast.
Inthe48Group,thereisarulecalled“RenaiKinshi”6
There’s an article saying I did something that would break this rule
duringmytimeasKenkyuusei……
Iblackedout.
ThatnightwastheAKB48NationalTourwiththeconcertinChibaso
ofcourse,Icouldn'tbeabsent.Igavemybestperformancebutmytears
wouldn’tstop.BecauseIthoughtabouthowIwouldn’tbeabletostandon
stagewitheveryoneanymore.
Inthecasewhenthereisclearevidencethattherulehasbeenbroken,
themanagementwouldhavetogivesomesortofdecision.
Suspension,demotiontoKenkyuusei,withdrawalfromactivities.
Asforme,IthoughtaboutquittingAKB48.Ifeltreallysorrytoallthe
fanswhosupportedAKB48andIdidn’twanttobeanuisancetotheother
members.ItoldthistoAkimoto-sanaswell.AndwhenIdid,
“Iunderstand.Onlythosewhotrulywanttoclingontotheentertainment
industryshouldstay.”
When I heard those words, I was finally able to temporarily stop all
thoughtsthatweregoingintoanegativedirection.Ratherthanthefeelings
of the fans that were supporting AKB48, I thought of the feelings of the
fans of someone like me and thought about the meaning of the actions I
wasabouttodo.
Because of an article about me being published, the fans would be
worried about me without a doubt. And amidst everything, if I suddenly
graduate AKB48, then leave the entertainment industry, there would be
nothingmoresadderthanthatformyfans.
The thought of Kamei Eri crossed my mind. I loved Kamei-chan so
much but then she suddenly left Morning Musume (December 2010). At
thesametime,shelefttheindustry.
IwasinsuchshockthatIthoughtmylifewasover.
However, Kamei-chan had no choice to graduate due to poor health
conditions.Forme,it’sgoingtobebecauseofjustonearticle.Graduating,
thenleavingentertainmentindustrybecauseofthat,isdefinitelynotgood
atall.
The new single that I got fourth place in at the Sousenkyo through
everyone’seffortshasn’tevengoneonsaleandtheyhaven’tevenseenme
singatthefourthplacepositionyet.IfIwasthem,I’dwanttoseeit.
IfIwasthem,I’dwanttoseeherstayandnotleave.
Thenextday,ItoldAkimoto-sensei,
“IwanttocontinueworkinghardinAKB48”
TheSuddenTransfertoHKT48
I hid the fact that the magazine with the article was to be released on
ThursdayandcontinuedactivitesasInormallywould.
However the night before that day, Miichan (Minegishi Minami) and
Takamina-san (Takahashi Minami) seemed to notice that I was acting
strangeandinvitedmeouttodinner.WhenItoldthemaboutthearticle,
they held a party at a karaoke place to cheer me up and sang me many
songslike『Makenaide』.Forthreehours.AKB48isjustamazingandit
mademewanttostay.
On the Friday of that week, I was to appear live on 「All Night
Nippon」in the form of being called into the episode that was originally
meantofeatureAkimoto-san.
At the start of the show, I gave an apology to all my fans for making
themworried.
Afterwards,Akimoto-sansaidthefollowingwords:
“Startingtomorrow,youwillbeSashiharaRinofromHKT48.”
…...Ididn’tunderstand.
AKB48hasthreesistergroupswithinJapan.SKE48inNagoya,Sakae
(beganactivitesontheautumnof2008),NMB48inOsaka,Namba(began
activitiesontheautumnof2010),andHKT48inFukuoka,Hakata(began
activitiestheautumnof2011).
The “youngest child” of the 48 Groups, HKT48, at the time only had
firstgenerationmembersandhadn’tevenreleasedtheirdebutsingle.They
didn’thavemanyinteractionswithAKB48soIbarelyknewanyoftheir
names.I’msurethatnotjustme,buttheothermembersandthefanswere
inthesamesituationaswell.
I was to be transferred to that group, making me the oldest within the
groupat19yearsold(atthetime).
I was told by Akimoto-san to go “contribute”. He continued, “‘You
havebrokenoneofthe48Group’srules’.WhenIthoughtaboutwhatyou
shoulddotomakethe48Groupfansforgiveyou,Ithought,‘Itmustbe
contributingtothegroupasawhole’”Thegreatestcontributionwouldbe
tobuildthehypeoftheentire48GroupbytransferringtoHKT48whojust
startedtheiractivitiesandgrowingthehypethere.
“At this rate, even if you got fourth place and spend the year as you
normally would, your popularity will not rise any higher. I don’t think
there’sanythingmoreinterestingthanyoutransferringandworkinghard
inHKT48.”
Perhaps maybe, my current situation isn’t a pinch, but a chance at an
opportunity. Or more like, I have no choice but to think of this as an
opportunity.
AChangeinAttitude
After going to sleep and waking up on the next day, I felt completely
refreshed.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I won’t reflect on my actions, I just
starttofeelmorebetterquickly.I’mgoodatfindingtheflipsideofthings.
If you try looking for them really hard, it can be found anywhere. At
firstwhenIwastransferredtoHKT48,Ifeltreallydown.
But since AKB48 has many surprises, it toughened me mentally. No
matter how terrible things are, what’s decided is decided. If so, then
there’snotimetobeapprehensive.Findthegoodsidesofthings.
“There’s a ton of good food in Hakata”, “You can save up a lot of
airline miles”, “My family and other people in Oita can come see me at
ourconcerts.”
Ialsoimaginedsomethinglikethisaswell.
“RatherthanstayinginAKB48inthestateI’minrightnow,aren’tthere
other inspirational things or experiences that would help me grow even
more?”
IthinkIwasright.
Changing your attitude during difficult situations and always facing
fowardmakesfindingtheflipsideofthingsmucheasier.Ithinkthatthe
flipsidesthatyoufindareeasiertoturnintoarealitybecauseofthat.
Don'tSpoutOutNegativity
After transferring to HKT48, the first day of the theater show where I
would perform together with the members was decided. July 5th, 2012.
SinceIhadotherworkelsewhere,mytimeforlessonswaslimited.
Asthedatedrewcloser,Itoldmymanager,“Iwanttoscheduleallthe
time I have until the concert for rehearsals. I don’t want to be doing
interviewsaskingmeabouthowmytransferisgoing.”
I didn’t want words like “I’m reflecting on my actions” to leave my
mouth anymore. To begin with, reflecting isn’t something you can see
withyoureyes,orrather,it’shardtocommunicate.Ifeltthattheonlyway
to prove that, “I, Sashihara Rino, will work hard as an HKT48 member
nowandtothefuture”,inamoretangiblemannerwasonthestage.
Also,evenifyouaskedme,“It'sabouttobegin,howareyoufeeling?”,
theonlythingI’dbeabletosaywas,“Iwilldomybestsothateveryone
canacceptme”withmyheadfacingdownwards.
IknewwhatIhadtodoandIwasfeelingalittleuneasyaboutthefirst
dayconcertbutthefansmayhavebeenmoreuneasythanIwas.Ontopof
that, if they see me looking all depressed, then they’ll be even more
uneasy.
Ifthiswastheinterviewafteritwasover,thenIcanlookupandsay,“I
finishedoffonahighnote!Iwillcontinuetodomybest!”.They’llbeable
toseemeinhighspirits.
I don’t think saying negative things in front of other people is a good
thingbecauseitputseveryoneelseinanegativemoodandthatnegative
moodwillonlycomebackatyou.
NotLookingattheInternetWhenFeelingNegative
At around that time, the thing where I can say to myself "Good Job
Sashihara",wasstoppingmyselffromcheckingtheInternet.
Ididn'tlookatsiteslike2ChannelorMatomesites7onebit.
IfIcheckedtheInternetafterthearticlecameout,itwouldonlymake
mefeelworsesinceIhadnegativefeelingsthat"Ididsomethingbad."
I easily imagined that the most terrible things about me to date were
writtenthere.Butifyounevercheck,you'llneverknow.
Whenthingsgetrough,Icanimaginethattherearealotofpeoplethat
go on the Internet and look for things that make them feel better or give
them courage but I think the tougher things get, the more that hurtful
words tend to get to them. When you look at the negative things when
you'reinanegativemood,youonlyswellupwithmorenegativity.
That'swhyIdecidedtonotchecktheInternetatall,andIdidn'tcheckit
onceatall.
IthinkImadetherightdecision.
BecauseEveryoneAcceptedMe
Andso,firstdayofthetheaterconcertcametoaclose.
At that time, the only things that were left in me were enjoyment and
motivation.Nosignsofnegativeness.
To be honest, the only things that I remember after my transfer to
HKT48wasdecidedareonlyhappythings.
At the very beginning, the HKT48 members were indeed shocked
though.Ithinkit'sonlynatural.Normallyyou'dbesurprisedifyoudidall
the things with only other people in the same generation as a group and
thenallofasudden,asenpaijoinsthegroup.
Even though I'm fine with it, Miichan told me that from the HKT48
member'spointofview,I'mprobablylike(Shinoda)MarikotothemandI
canseewhatshemeantbythat.Tobehonest,Iwasfilledwithanxiety.
ButalloftheHKT48membersareyoungandinagoodway,theywere
allchildren.They'recheerful,energetic,andpure.Theywelcomedmeasif
Iwerethe"thetransferstudentfromTokyo."
They actively wanted to get to know me more. I think that if this was
anyothergroup,thingsmighthavebeendifferent.
I'm also thankful to all the people in Kyushu that accepted me. There
werecountlesspeoplewhosaidtome"Welcome"or"Welcomeback."I'm
fromOitasoIcanunderstandwhytheymightsay"welcome"buthearing
"welcomeback"wassorefreshinganditmademesohappy.
Aftertheperformanceofthefirstdayconcert,IhadsomeworkforaTV
StationbasedinFukuokaandeveryonewasreallynice.
Because everyone accepted me, I naturally started to feel that here is
whereIwantedtodothebiggestthingspossible.
TheGreatestChangeGivenbytheBiggestPinch
June8th,2013.ItwasmyfirsttallyingeventfortheSousenkyoafterthe
transfer.
Iwasaimingforfourthplace.IfiguredthatifIwasabletomaintainthe
samespotaslasttime,thatmeantthateveryonehadacknowledgedme.
Andthenithappened.
Firstplace.
150,570votes.
I was so surprised that I stopped breathing. And there were so many
votes.
IstillvividlyremembertheyellsandtheviewfromthestageasIwas
calledfortogivemyspeechforfirstplace.
Agoodportionofthoseyellswere"WhyisitSashihara!"Eitherway,
70,000peoplewereshockedbya20yearoldgirlwhoisn'teventhatcute.
IbecameanIdolwhenIwasinthirdyearofmiddleschooltogetaway
from my hometowm. And it has now expanded into a situation I would
neverhavedreamedpossibleatthetime.
I could feel the supporting cheers from every vote like they were
chancesgiventomesaying,"Doyourbestonemoretime!"
Ineventslikehandshakingevents,thereweremanypeoplewhotoldme
thattheyunderstoodthatIwasdoingmybestforHKT48sotheywould
voteforme.Forthosepeopleaswell,Ihaveto"contribute"evenmore.I
wanttomaketheentire48GroupmuchmoreexcitingfromHakata.
I began to feel that way from the bottom of my heart once more after
receivingfirstplace.
IBecameStronger
Ifeelthatmyhearthasgottenmuchstrongerthanbeforebytransferring
toHKT48.
Orwell,Ihadnochoicebuttobecomestronger.
IamtheoldestwithinHKT48andasenpaisoIhadtobecomesomeone
thatwillleadeveryone.IbegantothinkthatifIcan'tgetmyselftogether,
thenthegroupalsowon'tbeableto.
AsanIdol,it'sadisadvantage.Amoreunreliablememberwouldseem
much cuter and seeing the weak parts of someone makes one want to
supportthem.Asapersonwho'spopularitycomesfrombeingahopeless
"hetare",Iuseditasmyweaponmorethananyoneelse.
But I can't show my weaker parts anymore. I am already no longer
"hetare"Fromnowon,Ihavetoliveasastrongperson.
Itwouldbemuchappreciatedifyoucouldtakeinterestinthatstrength
fromnowon.
AcirclewiththeHKT48members.Asasenpaiandatheater
manager,shesupportsthegirlsandencouragestheirgrowth.
Chapter5
TheTacticsto"WinWithEveryone"-SashiharastyleProduceTechniques
BeforeIknewit,IwastheHKT48theatermanager.
There was a surprise announcement on April 28th, 2013 at Nihon
Budokan, and it was the first time in the group's history to hold a
concurrentpositionasamemberandatheatermanager."Yeah,noduh",I
thought.
From the outside, it may look like a huge change but just because I'm
thetheatermanagerdoesn'tmeanthereisanychangeinthethingsIdo.I
listentotheconcernsofthemembers,givethemadvice,andiftheyhave
suggestions I feel are important, I tell them to the higher ups. As for the
particular details for other tasks, Ozaki-san (the other HKT48 theater
manager,OzakiAtsushi),handlesthemforme.He'saniceguy.
What I can do now after becoming a theater manager is submit
proposalsforconcertsetlists.IactuallydidthisbeforeIbecameatheater
manager and now I don't have to hesitate anymore just because I am a
member.
I'vebeena"Genba-wota"sinceIwasakidandtheconcertisaspecial
place for someone like me who loves to watch Idols on stage. For me, I
cansaythatit'smymostfavoriteworkplace.
In this chapter, I will talk about the methods I have come up with for
producing people and groups based on my past experiences in creating
HKT48concerts.
No matter what, HKT48 as the youngest group will always be in the
position of catching up. It is a perfect environment for demonstrating
"Gyakutenryoku."
The4PrinciplesofSashihara-styleProducing
As I mentioned in the last chapter, the 48 Group has just four groups
within Japan. Going by the order they were created, the first is AKB48
whosetheaterisinAkihabara.NextisSKE48basedinNagoya,NMB48in
Osaka,Namba,andthenHKT48fromFukuoka,Hakata.
The overall quality of performance in AK48 is high. Many popular
members reside in AKB48 so when they come together, they have an
amazingpresence.InSKE48'scase,theirdancesarecoolandareperfectly
in synch. NMB48 is a Kansai-area group so one of their best traits is
havinginterestingMCs.
The youngest child, HKT48, is still in the process of development. In
many ways, they still have much to work on. Even if they do the same
thingastheireldersisters,they'dnevercatchupandsurpassthem.
WhileIworkedwitheveryonetoreachforthetop,InoticedthatIseem
tobeemployingfourstrategiesasaresult.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Fightonourowntermsandcompeteinwhatwe'regoodat.
Thinkfromafan'sperspective.
Setup"hook"thatwillcatchonandspreaditnationwide.
Upholding both "creating an ace" and "changing up the batting
orders."
Letmeexplainaboutwhateachofthesemean.
FightingOnYourOwnTerms,Part1:ThoroughlyEnjoyOurselves
WhenyoucompareHKT48totheothergroupsintermsofthingslike
degreeofrecognition,presence,qualityofdanceandMC,HKT48isquite
weak in all of these areas. Even if we competed head on in these areas,
therewouldbenochancesofwinning.
However, if there was a ranking in how much we enjoy themselves,
we'dnodoubtbenumberone.
Theeasiestwaytoentertaintheaudienceistoenjoyyourselfaswell.If
youaren'thavingfun,thenthepeoplewatchingwon'tbehavingfuneither.
The feelings of those who stand on stage is something that is naturally
communicated.
Ifourperformanceandabilitiesweregoodenoughtoengageandattract
an audience, then perhaps instead of "enjoying ourselves", it might be
betterto"entertain"ouraudience.ButHKT48doesn'thavethatmuchskill
sowehavetohavefunsothateveryonecanhavefunwithus.
HKT48's prominent characteristic is being the young and energetic
"youngestchild"andinmanyways,theystillhavealongwaytogo.But
it'sforthesereasonsthatwecanpullofthistactic.
RecentlyIthinkthisalotbutbeingcheerfulisamazing.Beingenergetic
isamazing.Iftherewasagirlthatyou'refamiliarwithatworkorschool
who is cheerful, energetic and can do the things she needs to do while
havingfun,thenit'sobviousthatyoutoowouldbegintofeellikeyou're
havingfun.
IthinkthatisHKT48'sweapon.
Fighting On Your Own Terms, Part 2: Choosing Songs That Breaks
theStandards
BetweenJanuarytoMarchofthisyear,HKT48heldtheirfirstKyushu
tour(『HKT48KyushuNanakenTour,〜KawaiiKoniwaTabiwoSase
yo〜』).
Fromhere,IwilltakeaspecificexampleformtheKyushutourandtalk
abouttheappealofHKT48andtheappealoftheconcert.
These were the first concerts where I was able to be involved in
everything. I gave ideas concerning the opening performance to the acts
outsideofthesong.Inaway,itservedasabasisforHKT48'sconcertsasI
was able to do all things I wanted to do for the first time. Oh yeah, the
DVD&Blu-rayarenowonsale.
Firstoff,Iwantedtodrasticallychangethesetlist.
Atthetime,HKT48releasedtheirthirdsingle.Thesinglesconsistedof
their debut single, 『Suki! Suki! Skip!』(released March 20, 2013), and
『Melon Juice』(released September 4, 2013), 『Sakura, Minna de
Tabeta』(releasedMarch12,2014).TheCDseachcomeinfourdifferent
kindswithType-AtoType-Candatheatereditionandthecouplingsong
for each type is different. When thought about that way, HKT48 had a
somewhatdecentamountofsongs.
Asafan,it'dmakethemhappytoseethegroupsingingasongthatthey
would know at a concert. But if that became the norm for each concert,
thenthesetlistwouldbethesameeverytime.Asaresult,thefanswould
gettiredofit.
SoIdecidedthatweshouldn'tsingtheothersongsthatwehadexcept
thepopularsongs.Imadeitsothatanythingwaspossibleandbroughtin
differentsongsfromvariousplaces.IoriginallyloveIdolsongsandIhave
atoninmyiPod.
First, I re-listened to the 48 Group singles, albums, and the theater
songs. AKB48 has a long history and have great, hidden songs. Just
because they are songs from the past or unfamiliar to fans, not singing
themwouldbeawaste.
I also chose songs from SKE48, NMB48, and even from "AKB48's
Official Rival", Nogizaka46. By suddenly increasing the variation of
entries,itbecomeshardtopredictwhatsongwillbeperformednext.By
doingthat,IwantthefanstoenjoyHKT48concertswithaconstantfresh
feeling.
FightingOnYourOwnTerms,Part3:CreatingAnActThatCan'tBe
Compared
The centerpiece act that I thought up of was the 「HKT48 The Best
Five」.
Matusda Seiko-san's 『Aoi Sangoshou』, Candies-san's 『Haru
Ichiban』, Wink-san's 『Sabishii Nettaigyo』, Ann Lewis-san's 『Ahh,
Mujou』,OnyankoClub-san's『SailorFukuwoNugasanaide』....Itwas
wheretheHKT48memberscoveredthefamoussongsofthepast.
Foreachconcert,Ichangedthesongsandtheperformingmembersas
well.TheywereallsongsthatmemberssangforthefirsttimebutIthink
theymemorizedandperformedthemwell.
AsforwhyIthoughtupofthat.
48 Group concerts are structured by full songs performed by all
members and unit songs narrowed down to a few members. HKT48 had
been performing existing AKB48 unit songs like 『Temodemo no
Namida』,『Ame
no
Dobutsuen』,『Kinjirareta
Futari』,
and『Candy」.
I was unsatisfied with how we always do the same songs. However,
evenifwedidnewsongs,theriskofdoingsongsthatnooneknewina
largeconcertwashuge.
That'swhentheFNSKayousaihappened.
The48GroupappearedontheshowandwhenIwaswatchingtheother
artist'sliveperformances,Aichan(OtaAika),toldme"If(Tomonaga)Mio
sang『SentimentalJourney』(Matsumoto Iyo), I think it'd definitely be
cute."Iwentlike,"That'sagreatidea!"
I'm sure there were also fans that didn't like that. The young fans
probablywouldn'tknowthoseoldsongsandthere'sprobablyalotoffans
thatwanttoheartheAKB48songsthattheyallknow.
ButtherearenochancesofwinningbydoingthesamethingasAKB48.
There are no chances of winning if we did the same thing as SKE48 or
NMB48.Theamountofexperienceforeachgroupisdifferentsoevenif
we competed using the same songs and the same rules, once we are
compared,we'djustlose.
If we'd lose by being compared, then do something can not be
compared.
My usual style of "fighting on your own terms" can be seen in that
HKT48concert.
ThinkingFromAFan'sPerspective
InHKT48concerts,therearemanytimeswheremembersworkupthe
crowd by going, "Are you guys excited---!?" I tell the members to work
themupwhenevertheyseeachancetodoso.
Whenthereareinteractionswiththestageandtheaudience,youandthe
fans get pumped up. By saying, "Are you having fun?〜", we and the
crowdcanconfirmthatarehavingfunourselves.
Also,byworkingupthetopfloor,thefeelingofexcitementfallstothe
bottomfloorandasaresult,itconnectstheentirevenuetogether."Ifyou
lookstraightaheadorlookdownwards,itlooksasifyou'reuninterestedso
looking upwards makes you look cuter and more energetic on the
monitor......"
Thosekindsoftechniquesweretaughttomebythestagedirector.
ActuallyataroundthetimeoftheKyushutour,HKT48welcomedthe
newstagedirector.
Allofthestagedirectorsupuntilthenwerelikefamilytothemembers
who put passion in our performances. The new stage director brought a
senseof"strictshowbusiness"tothestage,
"Youareallpros.Donotforgetthefactthatthepeoplecominghereare
payingmoneyinexchangeforaconcert."
Everyone'sfeelingsclearlychanged.Webegantothinkthatwewanted
tohaveasmanyfansaspossiblereturnhomesatisfiedfromthebottomof
ourhearts.
Ican'thelpbuthavefunwiththecurrentHKT48concerts.It'sthefirst
thingIwanttodo.It'sthethingIhavethemostfunwith.Iwanttodoit
morethanTV!
EntertainingThePublicAsWell
IwasparticularaboutthefirstopeningsongoftheKyushutour.
It'smyfavoriteMorningMusumesong,『The☆Peace!』.ButIdidn't
justchoosethissongbasedonmyinterests.
ComparedtoAKB48,wedon'thavemuchofanaudienceandinaway,
sincewewerejustgoingaroundtheKyushuprefectures,thetourwaslocal
news.IthoughtaboutwhatIshoulddotomakeitnewsworthy.Ifithad
impact like "The 48 Group covered H!P songs", then maybe the public
wouldstarttalkingaboutit.
During the standalone HKT48 concert (「AKB48 Group Haru Con in
SaitamaSuperArena〜OmoidewaZenbuKokoniSuteteike!〜」,April
5th, 2014), I received advice from Akimoto-san. "If you don't make
something that has attitude in the opening, you won't make it to
tomorrow's news." As a result, I made it so that the HKT48 members
appearedonstagewithgymclothesonaspartoftheperformance.
Ifsomethingattentiongrabbingissetintheopeningandhavesomeof
media take pictures early on, there might be a possibility that something
like"HKT48'sArenaConcert,CurtainOpensWithaFieldDay"willmake
news.Abunchofthingshappened,andthenewsheadlineinsteadbecame
SashikoSetUp!AppearedInABloomerOnStageByHerself!......
In order to make HKT48 bigger, it's not enough to just entertain the
peoplewhocometoseeus.Wehavetothinkaboutentertainingthepublic
aswell.
CreateAnAce,ChangeTheBattingOrders,Part1:Create,Support
theCenter
The center, in a literal sense, means the member that stands in the
middleofthegroup.
In HKT48, Haruppi (Kodama Haruka) from the first generation and
Tashima(Meru)and(Tomonaga)Miofromthesecondgenerationstandas
center.Thethreeofthemasidolshavetalentandthey'rehard-workingsoI
thinktheyaresuitablecenters.
IfyouthinkaboutitfromtheSousenkyorankings,(Miyawaki)Sakura
rankshigherthanthem.
However, an Idol senpai once said, "It would be better if the most
popularpersonwasn'tinthemiddle.Oncethemostpopularpersonstands
inthemiddle,shewillattractallthepopularitysoit'sactuallynotgoodfor
thegroup."
Icandefinitelyunderstandthat.
Therearealotofothergirlsthatwanttobecenter.
Tobereal,sparksflybetweenmembersaboutwhichpositiontheywill
beplacedwithinthesenbatsumembersorwhetherornottheywillevenbe
partofthesenbatsumembers.
Somepeoplemayfeelbadbutmypersonalthoughtisthatthereshould
bebiastowardsan"oshi"inthegroup.
It's impossible to suddenly get people to have interest in the entire
group.First,givethespottoacertainamountofmembersandreliablyget
peopleinterestedinthem.Bydoingthat,theinterestwilleventuallyspread
totheentiregroup.There'snootherwaybutthis.
Iftherearemembersthatcomeuptomeandask,"Whyisthatmember
thecenter",Ianswer,"It'sforHKT48'ssake.""Ifshegoesdown,weallgo
down. If HKT48 doesn't do well, then you're not going to do well. For
now, do not do things for yourself but for the sake of HKT48", is
somethingIwouldsay.
CreateAnAce,ChangetheBattingOrders,Part2:GiveEveryoneA
Chance
First, while making the ace conspicuous, I thought about wanting to
givetheothermembersachance.
For the Kyushu tour, for each of the seven prefectures, I put in and
switched out the unit members and gave solo parts to the members that
belonged to a certain prefecture. It connects well with the member's
motivationanditincreasesthepossibilityforthefansto"discover"them.
"Oshisaren'tsomethingyouchange,theyaresomethingyouadd."
ThisissomethingthatIsaidforMCinatheaterperformanceduringmy
time as a kenkyuusei. Even now, people still tell me that it's a pretty
famous quote. I don't remember at all when and in what situation I said
that.DidIactuallysaythat?
Puttingthataside.
「Oshi」istheabbreviationfor「Oshimen」.It'satermusedinIdol
culturetomeanthememberthatyousupportthemost.Tofans,therecan
onlybeoneoshi.Ifyoustarttolikeanotherperson,thatisa「Oshihen」.
Butyouroshidoesn'thavetobejustonepersonyouknow?
Attheendoftheday,Ithinkareallystronggroupisabletocompete
withthecenternomatterwhoitis.
That'swhyIwanttoraiseasmanystarsaspossible.Iwanttoincrease
ouramountofstars.
Itcan'tbehelpedifIbecomenumberonebymyself.Iwanttobecome
numberonewiththerestofHKT48.
Chapter6
TheThingsNecessaryForInterpersonalRelation
Are"Guts"AndAn"ObjectivePerspective"
PeopletellmethatIhaveanobjectiveviewofthings.
Ithinksotoo.
For example, even when I'm talking to my family, I think about what
kinds of things I should say or if I say a certain thing then me and the
personI'mspeakingtowouldhavemorefun.
Evenduringconcerts,allIthinkaboutishowandwhatIshoulddoin
ordertobeseenonthescreenmonitors.
I'm an incredibly calculating person. I'm always thinking about what I
shoulddotobenefitmyself.
Withthatsaid,Ithoughtabouthowtocommunicatewithotherpeople.
You alone do not have a lot of power. There are limits on how much
impact you can make. That's the reason why you have to look at your
situationobjectivelyandgoaroundbeingcalculative.Andthen,involving
othersandturningthemintostrengthisthekeyto"Gyakutenryoku."
WithoutAnObjectiveView,You'llBecomeAnAwkwardPerson
Peopleoftensaythingslike,"Readthesituation"or"Understandwhat's
goingon."Butthingslikethataren'tsomethingyoucanvisiblyseeinyour
everydaylife.However,youcanseeit....on2Channel.
Onthe2Channelboards,whenanexcitingtopicgetsposted,allsortsof
people write all kinds of comments and they get quickly posted in real
time.Fromtoptobottom,thecommentsallpourin.
During times like these, when someone posts a comment that ignores
the current flow of the topic like, "I like ○○chan. I think so-and-so part
about her is cute", that person stands out in a bad way. You'd be like,
"Don'tyouseealltheseothercomments?"
That's how I've looked at all those comments that stick out so I've
gainedthehabitofreadingtheentiresituationbeforesayingwhatIwantto
say.
Ifeelthatifyoudon'thaveanobjectiveview,youbecomeanawkward
person.
Toputitsimply,narcissisticpeoplearelikethat.Theythinkthey'recool
orcute.Butonceyoutakeastepbackandlookatone'sselffromthesame
positionaseveryoneelse,you'dsaythat'snottrue.
However, the problem is when you start taking it too far. I can't get
obsessedwiththethingthat'sinfrontofme.Somewhereinmyhead,Iam
constantly looking at my situation calmly. Once you get addicted to the
Internet,yourpersonalitywillmostcertainlybecometwisted......Ijustput
thatinagoodway.Imostdefinitelyhaveabadpersonality.
NowthatI'manIdol,myexperiencewiththeInternetisnodoubtbeing
puttogooduse.
SaveUpOnReputation
When you begin to look at yourself objectively, you start to become
sensitivetohowyou'rebeingperceivedbyotherpeople.
For that kind of person, greetings are incredibly important. No matter
howtiredyouare,yousmileasmuchasyoucan.Youlookthepersonin
the eye and greet them properly as much as possible. Also you should
remembertohavethemindsetofwinningbymakingthefirstmove.
For example, when there's a big concert, there's a lot of staff that we
meet for the first time. After the concert, I go around to different rooms
and say "Thank you very much." Is there a door that's not open? Did I
greeteverybody?Igothroughamentalcheckliststrictlyinmyhead.
When I pass a member's family members in the dressing room, if I
noticethem,Itaketheinitiativetogoandgreetthemdirectly.Ratherthan
giving off an impression like "I came across Sashihara but she had this
scary-lookingface",it'smuchbettertohaveitbe"Shegreetedme."And
furthermore,someonemightbewatchingmeasIdoit.Plusonereputation
forme.
I think that reputation is something you can save up on like money. I
secretlycallitthe"ReputationSavings."
WhenIgettired,Igetallirritatedorlosethestrengthtogogreetpeople.
In times like those, I think about my "Reputation Savings" and push
throughlike,"Don'tbreakthebank,saveuponmore!"
When people complain, it's also a chance to increase your reputation.
Whenyouhearpeoplecomplain,it'seasierforyoutocomplainwiththem.
It's during those times that you should something say like a good person
wouldinsteadofcomplaintogetherwiththem!Ofcourse,youdon'tneed
togooutofyourwaytosaysomethingdifferentfromhowyoureallyfeel.
Thepointishowyouusethosesavings.
Therearetimeswhenyoureallygettiredorfeellikeyou'vehadenough
of things, you unconsciously start to get in a bad mood. When that
happens,whenyoufeelsomething'swrongwithsomeone'sactions,instead
ofscoldingthem,youmightblamethemforit.It'snotgoodifpeoplesee
youlikethat.Itgivesoffabadimpression.
It'sduringthosetimesthatyourReputationSavingscomesintoplay.If
youhavesavings,thenit'llendwithsomethinglike,"Well,Sasshiusually
workshardsotherearetimeswhenshegetslikethat."Butlet'ssayifIwas
apersonthatdidn'thavethosesavings,thenitmightendupwithmebeing
thoughtofasthe"hardtodealwith"person.
That'stheworsethingthatcanhappen.
You save up reputation for when the time comes. And when that time
comes,you'dbeensavingupalreadysoyouwillbefine.
IfairlyrecommendtheReputationSavings.
HowToDoGreetings,-Sashihara-style
Bearwithmeonmythoughtsaboutgreetingjustalittlelonger.
PeoplesaythatI'mabrownnose.
Thatdoesn'tmeanI'mconsciousofit.Ionlyrealizedthat'showpeople
sawmeuntilaftertheytoldme.
But, it's true that in many cases, I am liked by my elders. The reason
thatIcanthinkofisthatitmightbebecauseIdogreetingsalot.
For example, when your senpai comes into the changing room, all the
kouhai say, "Ohayougozaimasu"8. Even if I am among the group of
greetings, I won't be heard. Perhaps the senpai might think, "Why does
Sashiharanotdohergreetings?"
First,onceIsay"Ohayougozaimasu"atthesametimeaseveryoneelse,
I then afterwards go up and get close, look them in the eye and say
"Ohayougozaimasu"onemoretime.
There'snotmuchpointingreetingsthataredoneconventionallyandit
doesn'tfeelgoodeither.That'swhatIthinknowthatI'malsoinaposition
tobegreetedbykouhai.
Also,ifoneofmysenpaiisonaTVshow,Iwillwatchit.Iwon'tgoas
farasgoingoutofmywaytorecordtheshowbutifIturnontheTVand
they'reonTV,Imakesuretowatchitandtellthemmyimpressions.Ido
thisbecauseifsomeonetoldmethat,I'dbehappy.
The things done to you that makes you happy also makes the other
personhappy.Seniorityhasnothingtodowithit.
I'llSayMyOpinionButI'llQuicklyTakeItBack
Nowtocontinuethetalkaboutobjectiveperspectives.
Onceyoustartlookingatthingsobjectively,youbegintocommunicate
withpeoplewhilenotjustthinkingaboutpresentbutwhatwillhappenin
thefutureaswell.
I'm the kind of person to have clear opinions on things. If I have an
opinion,Iwillclearlystateit.ButI'malwaysinapositiontobereadyto
listen to other people's opinions. I'm always ready to say that I have no
problemsatallwiththeotherperson'sopinion.
ThemomentIsaythatsomethingshouldbeacertainwayandanother
persondisagreesandsaysitshouldbeanotherway,ifIthinkthattheother
person is right, I take back my opinion right away. There may be times
whenyouthinkthatyouropinioncouldbetherightoneandyoufeellike
youcan'tretractit,howeverIcaneasilyretractiteasilyevenduringthose
times.Iquicklyholdbackmyownfeelings.
The reason is because once you think about the future, not sticking to
youropinioniscorrect.
Let'ssaythatyouhadretractyouropinionwithoutanyobjections,you
decidetogowiththeotherperson'sopinion,andintheend,theyfigureout
thatyourideawastherightcorrectone.
Nothinggetssaidfromme.Insidemyhead,Igo,"See〜?"Thethings
thatyouwererightaboutarethingsyoushouldjustkeepinsideyourhead.
Saying,"Hah,seeItoldyouso〜"makesyoulooklikeajerk.
Butinthosecases,theotherpersongenerallyapologizestome.When
it's something like, "Sasshi's idea was the right one", I respond, "Well it
lookslikeitcould'vegoneeitherwayintheend",andIgetmorecredit.
Inordertomakeanenvironmentthatmakesiteasyfortheothersideto
apologize,whenyoutakebackyouropinion,youshoulddoitquickand
early.ifyouholdbackwhilesaying"Finewhatever,I'lljustgowithyour
idea then", it will just make the other person angry so even if you do
happentoberightlateron,theotherpersonwon'tapologize.
Don'tforgettoapologizerightawaywhenyoumakemistakesaswell.
Recently, I got into an argument with one of the staff members. I
completelymisunderstoodsomethingregardingthemembersandIended
up slamming that person. But. when I realized that it was to my
misunderstanding,normallyyou'dgetembarrassedbecauseyougotreally
angrysoyou'dgolike,"Wellthat'sfinethen."
Butimmediately,IsaidIwassorry.
I can immediately switch myself to apologizing mode. After you say
you're sorry, there are times where you want to say, "But...." Just forget
aboutit.Onceyouapologize,leaveitatthat.Thatway,itdoesn'tleavea
mark later. I'm always thinking about the future consequences as I'm
communicatingwithotherpeople.
Therearealsopeoplewhocommendmyhonesty.Butreally,I'mjusta
womanwho'stryingtogetahead.
SubmitProjectPlansTwice
Next, I will talk about my work as a theater manager. In terms of
HKT48concerts.Iamtaskedtoacertaindegreewithdecidingthesongsto
performbutanythingotherthanthatcostsmoneysoIdopresentationsto
thehigherups.
I put several proposals together and then I submit them. Among these
proposals,IwillalwaysputinoneprojectthatIknowisimpossibletodo.
Bydoingthat,Igetpraisedforcomingupwithvariouskindsofideas.It
makesmelooklikeI'mmotivated.
More specifically, the "impossible project" stands out, and since it's
impossibletodo,we'releftwonderingwhatelsecanbedone.Ihavethe
projectthatIwanttogetpickedthemostslippedinwiththeotherprojects.
WhenIdothat,itgetschosenmostofthetime.
WhenIdothetargetpresentationandI'mtold"Butyouknow,that'snot
possible", I back down right away saying, "You're right. Please let me
thinkaboutitmore."
At that moment, without being stubbornly persistent, I make the other
person feel better by saying, "That's true. I haven't thought about it that
far." That way, they can feel the difference between themselves and me.
Asinlike,"Wearemoregreaterthanyou."
If you stand your ground on your proposals saying something like, "I
thinkit'sagoodidea"or"Nodon'tworry,Ihaveitplannedout",rightthen
andthere,theremightbesomepeoplethatwouldpraiseyouforthatbutI
think that the amount of people who wouldn't think too well of that be
greater. You don't want to be thought of as that one guy going against
everyoneelsesinceit'llbehardtosubmitideasthenexttime.
Then, after you give it a little bit of time, you say "I went over the
project from earlier...." and then submit the revised proposal. Yes, this
works!
Don'tTurnYourEyesAway
Inface-to-facecommunication,thereisasimplebuteffectivetechnique.
When you talk to people, you look them in the eye while talking to
them.
At the same time, it's very tiring. Looking at someone in the eye and
speakingtothemtakesphysicalandmentaleffort.Butdoingitdefinitely
benefitsyou.
InthemoviethatIplayedamainrolein,「BaraironoBuuko」,Isang
aduetforthethemesongwithrockstarUchidaYuuya.WhenIwasgiven
theopportunitytotalkwithYuuya-san,Ihadn'tdecidedatallwhatIwas
goingtosaybutIhadonlydecidedtoneverlookawaywhilespeakingto
him.Afterwards,IwassetonlisteningtowhatYuuya-sanhadtosayand
nodresponding,"Yes!Yes!Yes!Yes!"asIwaslookingathiseyes.While
Iwaslookinghimintheeyes,Isqueezedinmyopinionshereandthere.
Hecompletelylikesme.Theonlypeoplewhorefertomeas"Rino"are
myfamilyandYuuya-san.
Thesepastfewyears,theeventwhereIfeltthatImustnotloseinterms
offeelingthemostwastalkingwithHayashiMariko-san.Imean,she'sthe
person who wrote 『Yashin no Susume』(Kodansha Gendai Shinsho).
She'sapersonwhohasobservedmanywomen.
IgotanopportunitytotalktoherthroughamagazineandIdecidedthat
I wouldn't take my eyes off her for not even a second. There are people
that can be seen right through immediately! Akimoto-san can do that as
well. If you show any weakness for even a second, you'll be taken
advantageofsodon'tturnyoureyesaway.
AppearancesAreImportant
When you apologize to people, you also don't look away. The other
personisangrywhichisallthemorereasontokeeplookingtheminthe
eye.Whileyoulookthemintheeye,youapologizesayingyou'resorry.
After I transferred into HKT48, as a senpai, I became in a position
whereIhavetobestrictatmykouhai.
WhenIbecomestrict,therearesomethingsthatInotice.WhenIgive
warnings, the members who look down and feel really bad are the ones
who most likely feel genuinely bad for whatever they did but I start to
wonderiftheyarereallylisteningtowhatI'msaying.
Thememberswho"seem"tobeseriouslylisteningtowhatI'msaying
arethecalmandcollectedones.Whiletheyarelookingatmeintheeyes
and nodding to me as if they're really sorry, they might really think it's
annoyinginside.Withthatsaid,forsomeoneonthesideofbeingstrict,it
feels like, "this person is listening to what I have to say" and it leaves a
goodimpression.
Ithinkthatcommunicatingwhileconsideringjusthowmuchone'sself
isbeingseenbyothersisbeneficial.Appearancesareimportant.
Iamawomanwhohassurvivedjustbasedon"appearances."
ABeneficialWayofComplaining
It'ssimilartowhatIwasjusttalkingaboutandIthinkthattherearealso
differenttypesofwaysofcomplaining.
Firstofall,youcan'tsaytheexactsamecomplaintsthatcometomind.
Ifyouoverdosayingwhatyoureallyfeel,itwillweirdoutthepeople
around you. Not just between Idol and fan relations, but in normal
interpersonalrelationshipsaswellbecausetherearesomepartswhereyou
might be like "Are you really going that far" or "You didn't have to say
that."
It'sthesamewithtryingtoholdbackfeelingdownwhensomeonegets
angryatyou.Youholdbackwantingtogofullforcewithyoucomplaints
andsayenoughtonotberejectedbytheotherperson.Ithinkaslongas
yougiveouttherightamountofcomplaints,peoplewillsupportyou.
Youaren'tlying.Whatyou'resayingisn'taliebuttherightamountof
complaintsarenecessary.
BeFranktoVIPs,BePolitetoSemiVIPs
I will now talk about the tricks that I discovered myself when
communicatingwithsomeoneofhigherstatusthanyou.
SincebecominganHKT48theatermanager,Ihavehadmanychances
tospeakwithsomebig-timeoldguys.Thereareevenmanyofthematthe
locationofshootingsforvarietyshows.
I'mgoodattalkingwiththeseguys.Asawayofapproachingthoseguys
with status way higher than mine, I talk with them like they were my
friendsandforguyswithsomestatus,Ispeaktothempolitely.
For example, I've been together with Tamori-san for 「Waratte
Iitomo!」fortwoandahalfyears,andaftertheTVshoot,wecasuallyate
togetherandhetalkstomecasually.
Peoplewithtonsofstatusareopen-minded.
Akimoto-san is the same way as well. He's completely fine with
someonelikeme.Ratherthanbeinginnervoussuperrespectmode,going
infriendmodewillactuallymakemebemoreinterestingtohim.
But somewhat big-time guys get irritated by a slight offense. They're
sensitive to that which is why I keep a low-profile with them. It's bad if
youmessthisup.
I think probably the reason why I'm good at talking with old guys is
becauseIusedtotalkalotwiththeolderH!Pfansatconcertvenues.
Idisplayedmytradingcardcollectionandtriedreallyhardtonegotiate
totradethecardsIhadfortheirKameiEri-chancards.
They'll surprisingly accept young girls who boldly come to speak to
them. When I tried talking to the old guys who like H!P, they were all
nothingbutnicepeople.
Sothankstochecking2ChannelandtradingwitholderH!Pfans,Ican
talk casually to Tamori-san and Akimoto-san. We barely have any idea
aboutwhatkindsofexperienceswillserveasplusesforus.
Listen When Discussing Another Person's Problems and Leave It At
That
Being transferred to HKT48 was a big reason why I began to think
aboutabunchofdifferentthingsaboutcommunication.
WhatchangedthemostbetweenthenandthetimeIwasinAKB48is
thatallofthemembersarenowkouhai.SonowIlistentoalltheproblems
thattheyhave.
IamtheoldestwithinHKT48andthedifferenceinexperiencebetween
usisbigsoIgowithansweringwith"Duringthosekindsoftimes,Ihad
thiskindofmindset"andansweringasmuchasIcananswer.
Butitdoesn'tmeanItrytosolvetheirproblemsjustsayinglike,"Iwas
thisway"or"Youknow,Ithinkaboutitthisway."Morespecfically,what
Iamdoingmostlyisjustlisteningtowhattheyhavetosay.
Listen to what you need and leave it at that. I think that the person
talking to me knows that having a conversation with me doesn't mean
they'llfindacluetotheirproblem.Theyjustwanttotalk.I'mthatwayas
wellwhenItalktopeopleaboutmyproblems.
TherearetimeswhenIhappentowanttopushmyopinionsthough.
WhenAichan(OtaAika)cometoconsultwithmeaboutwhetherornot
she should transfer from AKB48 to HKT48, I couldn't help but want to
say, "Yeah, you should come!" Because if Aichan came to HKT48, it
wouldbeevenmorefunandbywatchingAichan,whohasalongercareer
thanIdo,theothermemberswouldbeabletogrow.
But I held myself back from saying that. Since it was about how she
wasn'tdoingtoowellinAKB48.Istoppedat,"Ithinkit'spossibletostart
overandworkhardinHKT48."Ifsay,shemadeadecisionbasedonwhat
Itoldher,thenitwouldn'tbebecauseshewantedto.Ifthereweretobe
some kind of accident, I feel that she would even think that coming to
HKT48wasamistakeandthatitwasn'theridea.
If you want to do something of your own will, then I think that the
feelings to doubt your first decision won't come so easily. By thinking
aboutstandinguptothoseaccidentsinfrontofyou,thosefeelingsshould
comestraighttowardsyou.
AsIthought,it'simportantnottosaytoomuch.Hereiswhereyoualso
makefineadjustments.Ithinkdoingeverythingbasedonimpulsewould
bealoss.
Recently, I've started to get a lot of regular messages aside from their
problems.
Iignoretheminmoderation.
Iwonderifthat'skindofmean?
Don'tRecklesslyHumbleYourself
Letmeaddalittlebitmoretothecurrentstory.
WhenIwastobetransferredtoHKT48,Itoldthemembers,"Youcan
speak to me casually", "Call me Sasshi." Thanks to that, I was able to
quickly get along with them and became able to speak to them more
frankly.
However,Iwasalsosenthereinordertomakethegroupbetter.Ihadto
makesuretonotdestroymypositionassenpai.
Idecidedtostopactinginawaythatwouldbabythekouhai.
Togiveaspecificexample,Iwon'ttrytobeniceandmakeaneffortto
ask the members who don't talk to me how they're doing. I won't try to
forcemyselfintoacircleofadiscussionandmakeaconversationoutofit.
If they get the impression that they are the ones who let me into their
group,they'lldefinitelystarttotreatmelightly.
Nothinggoodcomesoutfromhumblingyourselfrecklessly.BecauseI
decidedtotakethatstancefromthebeginning.I'mstillnottakenlightlyto
thisday.
Since I don't think that getting too friendly isn't good either, I
purposefully make a point of putting distance between me and the
members.
Iwanttostayasthesenpainomatterwhat.
It'smuchbetterforHKT48ifIstayedasapersonthatisn'ttakenlightly.
Because we normally uphold the senpai-kouhai relationship, I think fun
comes out during concerts and performances when the relationship gets
turnedupsidedown.
AlwaysBeProperInOrderToGiveAdvice
When I have to give others advice to the HKT48 kouhai, there's
somethingthatItrytokeepinmind
Evenifyoutelloffsomeonewhocan'tdosomething,thatotherperson
mightthink,"Well,youcan'tevendoiteither."Inordertoproperlyscold
someone,youyourselfmustalwayshavethingstogether.
I have other jobs to do so I can't attend as many lessons as the other
members. But when I can attend, I make sure to come in early in the
morning,dolessons,andcramasmuchasIcaninmyfreetimeastonot
dragalltheothermembersdown.
Everyone knows that I properly have things down so when it comes
timetoscoldthem,theywilllistentomewithoutansweringback.
I carefully choose my words so that they can take my advice in a
positiveway.
Peopleoftensay,"Idothattoo."Ifwesay,"Imakethesamemistake
too,solet'skeepthatinmind",Ithinkwhichenableustofeelthatweare
all one and the same and we should cooperate together to solve the
problem.Ifeelthatwaymakesiteasierformyadvicetobetaken.
It'samethodthatIcameupwithrecently.
Don'tStickYourHeadIntoUnnecessaryThings
Nextisaboutfighting.
HKT48isagroup.Moreover,itisagroupofgirls.
When you're with each other for a long time, it's not uncommon for a
badmoodtocomeaboutbetweenmembersfromtimetotime.
There are times when a rumor goes around unattended and
misunderstandingsleadtomoremisunderstandingsanditfeelslikeafight
isgoingtostart.
Duringthosetimes,ifthepersoninvolvedconfideswithmethenI'lldo
somethingbutIwon'tdoanythingiftheydon'tcometome.
If I try to force taking action, then it becomes more complicated. For
example, if the things that come out of my mouth gets interpreted
incorrectly, someone might tell another person, "That's what Sasshi
thinks", even though it's something that I don't even think at all. It's
annoying.
Let'sassumetheworsecasescenario.
In HKT48, there is a pair known as "NakoMiku." They are Yabuki
Nako and Tanaka Miku, sixth year elementary schoolers who passed the
thirdgenerationauditions.Theyarebothangels.Orfairies.
Eventhoughit'dneverhappen,let'ssaythattheybothstartedtonotget
alongwellwitheachother.IfIcameinsayingthatIheardthattheywere
fighting,I'mgoingtobefirstaskedwhereIheardthatfrom.
IfIendupsayingwhoIhearditfrom,therelationshipbetweenthetwo
girls and the girl who told me is going to go bad and I'm going to most
definitely be blamed harshly by that one member because "I told you
becauseItrustedinyou."It'sterrible.
Oneshouldnotbelisteningtowhowasfightingwithwhoasmuchas
possibleinthefirstplace.IfI'mabletohearthat,Islowlygetupandwalk
away.Iputonmyearphonesandfocusonlisteningtomusic.
If I do find out, it's very possible that it might turn out to be a "who's
sideareyouon"situationsonotknowinganythingatallworksoutforme.
Prettymuch"ignoranceisbliss."
Ireallydowanttointerferethough.ButIneedtobearwithit.
Iwon'tstickmyheadintounnecessaryaffairs.
Iftheycometodirectlytalkwithme,thenwhat'sunnecessarybecomes
necessary.Youshouldwaituntilthattimecomes.
PayingForwardaSenpai's"Lessons"ToTheKouhai
Lastly,letmetalkalittleaboutthepast.
Asmanypeopleknowalready,inthe48Group,justbecauseyoupassed
theaudition,doesn'tmeanthatthey'llbeabletobecomearegularmember
rightaway.Youstartasakenkyuusei.
Kenkyuuseiarebasicallyinchargeofaregularmember'spositionasan
under(orthereplacementforwhenthey'renotperforming).Backthen,for
TeamA,IwasTomochin-san's(ItanoTomomi)under,forTeamK,Iwas
Umechan's (Umeda Ayaka) under, and for Team B, I was Haachan's
(Katayama Haruka) under. I worked incredibly hard to remember each
person'schoreographyandsingingparts.
Oneday,Tomochin-sanwastobeabsentforaperformancebecauseof
workelsewhere.Itwasmyfirstchancetoappearnotasabackdancer,but
asapropermember.IfIweretouseschoolclubsasanexample,it'sasa
newbiewassuddenlythrownintothesenpaivarsityteamforayear.
I got so nervous that I began to hyperventilate in the dressing room
before it was my turn to appear. It was the first time that I ever became
like that and I was in a huge panic. That's when Takamina (Takahashi
Minami)spokeouttome.
"Areyouok?Let'sdothis."
Kenkyuusei barely have contact with the senpai so that was my first
conversation with her. It made me happy that a senpai was concerned
aboutme.Thatalonehelpedmetobeabletocalmdown.
The senpai who we were unders for taught us the dance moves and
formationingreatdetail.Thankstotheirlessons,evenIwhoisn'tgoodat
either dancing or singing was able to acquire the ability that is good
enoughtoshowinfrontofeveryoneelse.
Iwasabletogrowthankstoallthesenpai.
People tell me that I am "nice to the kouhai." That's probably because
I'mjustdoingforthekouhaiwhatallmysenpaididformeduringmytime
as kenykuusei. It's not like I keep it in mind but I think that I am just
payingforwardthe"lessons"thatIreceivedfrommysenpaitothekoukai.
That'sall.
Attimes,shedonsatuxedoatconcertsandannounces
importantsubjectmatterstothemembersasaHKT48theater
manager.
Chapter7
Turning"Haters"IntoStrength-Sashihara-style
WorkTechniques
TheworkofanIdolisanearnestaccumulationofhardwork.
Wememorizesongsanddances,practicedtogetherwithteammatesand
perform in front of all the fans. The Idols of today aren't appreciated by
just their looks but their character as well so we have to polish our MC
skills.Wehavetofrequentlyupdatepassagesthetextthatontoourblogs
and Twitter accounts. And there are many more things to do. It's pretty
tough.
Ihavejobsbymyselfasanentertainer.AsanHKT48theatermanager,
it'salsomyjobtohandinideasforconcertsetlists.
Thetechnicalaspectsareimportantandsoisknowinghowtopreserve
your motivation. In this chapter, I'd like to talk about my own thoughts
regardingthework.
GettingInsultedisPartOfTheJob
Ithinkthatgettingflamedisalsopartofmywork.
Theantonymoftheword"fan"is"hater."Ihavemanyhaters.
An Idol group definitely needs a person to take on the role of the bad
guy.
Having someone where you can direct your insults together with
everyoneelsemakesforexcitingdialogandifthatpersondoesn'texist,the
dialogitselfdisappears.
I know because when I was in Oita being an H!P wota, I made
comments like "What is management doing pushing this girl!" on
2Channel.WhenIthinkbacktomyfeelingsatthetime,Idon'tthinkmy
feelingswereasstrongasthewordsIsaid.Itwasjustsomethinginorder
toshowoffmyoshibysaying,"ratherthanher,lookatthisgirl."
Whenyouthinkaboutitlikethat,theinsultsaimedtowardsmearen'tas
strongastheperson'sfeelingssoI'mcompletelyokaywithit.
EvenifIhappentohearinsultsinmynormaleverydaylife,Idon'tmind
thematall.
Adultstendtotalkaboutthethingstheyhateratherthanthethingsthey
like.Theywon'tgooutoftheirwaytotalkaboutthingstheythoughtwere
"good"or"nice"butthey'llimmediatelytalkaboutthingsthey"disliked."
Theygetexcitedbywhattheydon'tlike.
Ijustthink,"Wow,peoplearetalkingaboutme.""TheythinkthatI'm
interesting."
EvenifIgetinsulted,eveniftherearealotofpeoplewhohateme,I've
become able to shrug it off by telling myself, "I am currently happy so
that'sfine."
Ihaveafamilythatsupportsme,Ihavethememberswhoarebothmy
colleaguesandmyfriends,andontopofbeingabletoachievemydream
ofbecominganIdol,Iearnmoneythroughit.
Once I think about it that way, I'm always perfectly happy with the
currentsituation.
I am okay with being the bad guy for the rest of my life. I willingly
acceptthisrolewithinthe48Group!
NotBeingTalkedAboutIsWhenIt'sMostScary
Theysaythatthereasonwhyinsultsaremadeinthefirstplaceisthey
areinterestedinyou.Don'tyouthinkthatsoundsabittoooptimistic?
Butiftheydidn'tcare,thentherewouldn'tevenbeanyinsults.Iguess
thatmeansit'sbasicallythesameaslikingyouthen?
Forexample,themangaka,KobayashiYoshinori.
TherewasaperiodwhereYoshirin(KobayashiYoshinori)saidthathe
"dislikedSashihara."WhathewroteonhisblogspreadviatheInternetand
itevenreachedmyears.
Ithought,"Yay!"
ItalkedandtalkedonTVandonradioshowsthatYoshirindislikedme
whichmadehimdislikemeevenmoreandintensifiedthestructureofthe
showdown.
When a high-profile person publicly announces that he/she "dislikes
me"thefanswillgo,"Whatthehellisupwiththisperson"andthehaters
willgetexcitedlike,"Yeah!Yeah!"Bygoingagainsttheopinionsofthose
who"dislike"me,thefeelingsofthosewho"like"mealsogetfiredup.
IbelievethatIdolsmakethingsexcitingbyhavingbothpeoplewholike
anddislikeyou.Byhavingprosandcons,yourpopularitybeginstoswell
up.
Notbegintalkedaboutiswhenit'smostscariest.Yourfirewilldieout
ifyoudon'tthrowmorefuelintothefiresobeforethathappens,itdoesn't
matterifyou'llbe"liked"or"disliked",findthefuelthatwillgetpeople
talkingandthrowitintothefireyourself.
EvenifIgetflamedforit,IhaveconfidencethatIcancontrolit.The
reasonwhyisbecauseallIdidwasgoon2Channelasakid.I'mgoodat
controllingthefire.
By the way, I was able to talk with Yoshirin and shook his hand
afterwards.
Isaid,"PleasecontinuetosupportmeasmyNo.1hater,"andhesaid,
"I'llsupportyou,asahaterofcourse."
Hewasaniceperson!
InstanietyisProhibited
There is a good way and bad way for flaming. The bad way happens
when you get angry at someone that provoked you and you immediately
wrotesomethingontheInternetonimpulse.
The thing that is important when you write something on Twitter or
Gugutasu (Google+) or on your blog is the flow and timing. It's more
importantthanwhatyouwrite.Prohibitinstaneousness.
Sayingwhatyouthinkrightawaywillonlyleadtoargumentssofirst,
you swallow your feelings. Hold it all in, think about how to make it
benefityou,thenwrite.Alsoconsidertheflowandthetiming.
Mylifeisfullofswallowingmyemotions.
Butsometimes,Ifightback.
IlookatallthepeoplewhotweetmeweirdthingsonTwitter.Ifthereis
atweetthatIcan'thelpbutfeeluncomfortablewith,Iscrollthroughthat
person'stweetsandprofile.WhenIthinkit'sokay,Ireplybacksaying,"It
hurtsmyfeelingswhenyousaythingslikethattome."
The ones I don't want to be involved with the most are the ones who
write "w" 9 a lot and who stray from the point because I think that no
matterwhatIsay,they'llneverchange.Iignorethemcompletely.
Thetricktoextinguishingthemisbynotoverreacting.Ifyoudon'twant
to bring up something again that's already been dealt with, it will just
naturallygoaway.
NotBeingLikedByEveryoneisaGiven
Not even I can say that I was strong against haters in the beginning.
Since my time as kenkyuusei, I checked 2Channel almost everyday. I
wouldbeinfluencedbylittleinsultsfromsomepersonsomewhereandfeel
terriblefordays.EspeciallyrightafterIstartedmyblog,Icouldn'thelpbut
findoutwhatthereviewswereforthingsthatIwroteonmyblog.
Duringthattime,IwasmovedtoTeamA(July2010).Thistransferhad
mostdefinitelymademementallystronger.
Acchan (Maeda Atsuko), Tomochin-san, (Itano Tomomi), Takaminasan (Takahashi Minami), Mariko-sama (Shinoda Mariko), Kojiharu-san
(KojimaHaruna)......Itwasateamofsupersenbatsusenpaiwhosupported
AKB48 since it's beginnings and pulled it up to being a popular group.
Even from an entertainer's point of view, they were all pros not just as
Idolsbutasentertainers.
Tobecomefamousmeanstobecomewatchedbymanyotherpeople.At
thatrate,theamountofpeoplewhosaygoodthingswillgrowandsowill
thepeoplewhowillsayinsultsatyou.Inaway,beingdislikedismoreor
less a given. Your body and mind won't hold up if you respond back to
everysinglelittlething.
That'swhythesenpaidon'tchecktheInternetinthefirstplaceandeven
iftheydid,theydon'tcare.Mentally,theywereincrediblystrong.
That'swhyIshouldalsomaintainmyownstylewithoutbeingdepressed
bysomeonedislikingme.Ithinkwhathelpedmetobecomeabletothink
likethatwasbeingtransferredtoTeamA.
WhatILearnedFrom『WaratteIitomo!』TheAttitudeOfHaving
Fun
When I look back, I think my way of thinking changed bit by bit
throughthepeopleI'veencountered.
Upon creating my own stance on work, the most influential encounter
wasmeetingTamori-sanfrom『WaratteIitomo!』
Iappearedasaregularin『Iitomo!』fromOctober2011untilit'sfinal
episodeonMarch31st,2014.
ImetmanyentertainersandcelebritiesandappearedonTVeveryweek
atthesametime.Itwasanoppotunityformetogetmorepeopletoknow
aboutmeandIbecameevenmorepositive,thinkingthatmaybeItoocan
makeapushinTV.
Inthepast,whenIappearedonaTVshow,IwassetonmakingsureI'd
leave a mark. Because of that, I'd get nervous, blow my fuse, and start
goingincircles.WhenIwaswithTsuchida(Teruyaki)-sanfor『Sashiko
no Kuseni 〜Kono Bangumi wa AKB48 to wa Mattaku Kankei
Arimasen』(January ~ September 2011 / TBS, Oita Broadcast) , he
warned to me, "It's wrong to think that rudeness is funny." I was always
cryingontheshow.
Yet I was able to relax and have fun since my first episode on
『Iitomo!』. I think that it might have been because I had somewhat
grownupbutIthinkthebiggestreasonwasbecauseoftheairsurrounding
Tamori-san.
Tamori-sanhascomposure.Ihaveneverseenhimbepressuredforeven
amoment.
I think because of Tamori-san's relaxed atmosphere, all the people
around him become more relaxed. There wasn't a single person on
『Iitomo!』whowaslikemeinthepastwhowasconcernedwith"leaving
behind results" or "settling it in one shot." There wasn't anybody who
madeothersaroundthemfeeluncomfortabletryingtogolike"Me!Me!"
I also have come to think that I should have fun with the situation
without going all out. I was originally the type of person who didn't get
nervous on the job and I've completely become that kind of person who
hasfun.
Idon'tneedtocomparemyselftowhatIcan'tdoandwhatotherscan
do. I don't need to compete, just have fun. I've began to hold more
confidenceinthewayofthinkingthatIoriginallyhad.
Don'tBeAfraidofFailure
CanItellaweirdstory?
I'veprobablyhadanoptimisticpersonalityfromthebeginning.Forthe
longest time, I've had no problem touching other people's stuff like their
computers. Like, at all. Even if the entire screen turns blue and starts
makingweirdnoises,I'mcompletelyconfidentthatitwon'tbreak.Ithink
itwouldn'tbreakjustfrommeplayingwithit.It'sthesameasthinkingthat
there's no way that I'd get into an accident. There's no way that an
unexpectedmisfortunewouldbefalluponme.
ImeanbecauseI'veneverseriouslyonceinmylifeupuntilnowfeltI've
beeninanydanger.I'dsaymaybethatthearticleaboutmefromaweekly
magazinewastheextentofit.
That'swhyI'mnotafraidoffailure.EvenifImessup,I'mconfidentthat
itwon'tturnouttobeanythingtooserious.
I'mnotevenworriedaboutoldage.Idon'twanttodie.Iwanttoliveas
longaspossible.
EvenifIreallymessedup,I'llforgetaboutitrightaway.
If I feel that I've messed up or made a mistake, I'll definitely feel bad
whenithappensbutI'llhaveforgottenaboutitanhourlater.
Idon'tlookback.IthinkIcanmoveforwardthatwayinmycase.
TheSecrettoNotTensingUpEvenOnTheBigStage
SinceI'mthetypeofpersonwhodoesn'tlookback,Idon'treallycheck
mywork.HoweverasforthethingthatIthinkwhichshouldbechecked,
especiallytheTVshowsthatIdoMCfor,Imakesuretowatchthefirst
fewepisodesthatIappearin.Icheckwhattheshowexpectsfrommeby
checking out the kind of editing that is being used and which kinds of
conversationisusedduringthebroadcast.
.....But,IguessIbasicallyjustdon'twatchtheshowsthatI'min.
Idon'tknowifthat'sthereasonwhyIdon'tfeellikeI'manentertainer
appearingonTV.
OntherarechancethatIdidthinkthatIwasanentertainerwaswhen
therewasahugebillboardposterofmyselfontheShibuya109building
(June 2011, DVD「AKB ga Ippai 〜The Best Music Video〜」
advertisement poster). It was because ever since I read about Shibuya in
mangas as a kid, when I think of Tokyo, I think about Shibuya 109. A
posterofmyselfwasputupinaplacethatIknewfromalongtimeago.I
gotemotionalandwithoutthinking,wenttogotakeapictureofit.
AnotherthingwhereIfeltjustashappywas,asItalkedaboutearlier,
becomearegularon『WaratteIitomo!』.Idon'treallywatchTVinthe
firstplacesoifyouweretoaskmeifI'mfamiliarwithmanyshows,then
I'dsayno.Butofcourse,Iknow『Iitomo!』.
InmycaseIwanttoappearbecauseIknowit.I'mhappytoappearina
showthatI'mfamiliarwith.
BeingabletogoinsideofStudioAltainShinjukuwasanotherreason
why I at first felt happy to appear on 『Iitomo!』. I want to know the
behind-the-scenesabouttheplacesI'mfamiliarwith,likeitseemsbigon
TV but it's surprisingly small in real life. I'm interested in knowing how
thethingsI'mfamiliarwithweremade.Basically,I'mafangirl.
Butthenyou'relike,"wellthenjustbeingpartofthestudioaudienceis
fine, you'll be able to tell." And I'm probably okay with that too. I think
thatsomewhereinme,IappearonTVfeelinglikeaspectator.
Maybe that's why I don't get nervous. Somewhere in my head I'm
thinkingthatit'sfineaslongasit'sinteresting.
Latelythatspectatorfeelinghasgottenstronger.Idon'treallycareabout
aboutIcando,Ijusthavefun.
AfterIstartedthinkinglikethat,strangelyIfeellikeI'mabletoconduct
myself well on the job. I think having a spirit of playfulness is
unexpectedly,orshouldIsay,themostimportantthingwhenworking.
TrustthePeopleYouCanReallyTrust
ThereissomethingInoticedrecentlyrelatedtowork.
IshouldtrustinthepeoplethatIcanreallytrust.
BytakingandpassingtheAKB48audition,itmeansI'mintheposition
ofaskingtoAkimoto-sanproducemeandentrustingmyselftohim.That's
whyIshouldfollowthethingsthatAkimoto-sansays.Evenifitdoesn'tgo
wellforme,andI'vechosenhimtolethimproduceme,continuingbeing
inthatperson'scareuntiltheendmakessense.
It's not good if you think, "Why does he make me do these things?"
whileyou'reworking.That'snotfunatall.
You don't need to make a point of feeling suspicious. You should for
now,takethethingsyou'retoldandthinkaboutwhatthereisyoucando
aboutit.
Lately,Ifeellikewantingtorepayhim.
Akimoto-sanmademewhoIamtoday.Theonewhopulledmeupfrom
the auditions is also Akimoto-san and the person who gave me the
opportunitytotransfertoHKT48isAkimoto-san.
I must not let the 48 Group that Akimoto-san created die out. I live
thinkingthatImustkeepthingsinterestingforthegroup.
RepayingthosewhoIcanreallybelieveinismygreatestmotivationfor
myjob.
Bytakingfirstplaceinthe2013Sousenkyo,thenewAKB48
single,『KoiSuruFortuneCookie』wastobeshotinHakata,
thebaseofoperationsofHKT48.
Chapter8
BeingAbleToTurnSomethingAroundby
"ChangingAttitudes"and"ConvincingYouself"
-Sashihara-styleThoughtTechniques
Irarelyforgetmyself.
Idon'tlikedoingsomethinglikegoingoutatnightandgodrinkinglike
crazy.I'veneverbeentoabaronceinmylife.Placeslikeclubsarescary
tome.
Surprisingly,IgettoldthatI'mseriousalot.That'snotit.Idon'twantto
losesightofmyselfforevenasecond.
Evenifsomethingdifficultcomesup,I'llsleepitaway.
Icandoiteveninsituationswhereit'slike"howareyouabletosleepin
thefirstplace?"AfterjoiningAKB48,therehasn'tbeenonenightwhereI
haven'tbeenabletosleepduetoworrying.
ThingswillbealrightifIthinkitwillbealright.Changingattitudesis
important.Convincingyourselfareimportant.
ItmayjustsimplybebecauseIwasbornwiththatkindofpersonality
buttherearevariousthingsIhaveinmindthatI'vecomeupwith.Iwill
talk about how to create the strong feelings needed to active
"Gyakutenryoku."
BeingAbletoTurnAnythingIntoAPositive
Themembersusuallysaytome,"Sasshi,you'rereallypositive."
Whenitlookslikesomethingterribleisgoingtohappenorwhenthey
feel uneasy, the members asked me, "Sasshi, stay with me." They
sometimesdependonme,saying"BecauseIfeellikethingswillbeokayif
I'mwithyou."
Ithinkitmeansmyabilitytobelieveisstrong.
Ithinkapinchisapinch.ButIbelieveandconvincemyselfthat"thisis
achance."IfIstronglybelievethat,itwillturnoutthewaythatIwantitto
be.
YoumightthinkthatI'mstartingtosoundlikesomesortofevangelist
butit'smoresimplerthanthat.
No matter how negative the situation is, you can turn it into a plus
dependingonyourwayofthinking.It'sabouthowyouuseyourhead.
IhadatalkwithayoungmemberofHKT48."Ididn'tgetplacedwithin
the first 80 spots in the early rankings (the amount of total votes on the
firstdayofthevotingperiodoftheSousenkyo)"Idon'tknowwhattodoif
thiskeepsup."
Itoldher,"Fornow,justbelieve."
"Itmightbeagoodthingthatyoudidn'tgetintheearlyrankings.It'll
makethefanswantyoutogetrankedandit'llbeeventfulthatwayifyou
didn'tgetrankintheearlyrankingsbutenduprankingintherealthing.
That'swhyfornow,justbelievethatyouwilldefinitelyrank."
Ifshedidn'tgetintotherankingsintheend,IthinkIwouldhavesaid
somethinglike,"Wouldn'titbeinterestingtobeabletohaveastorywhere
youdidn'trankthisyearbutthenrankthefollowingyear?"
It'sexactlythesamethingwithwhatIsaidinthefourthchapter,"Ifyou
try really hard to look for the flip side of things, you'll find them
anywhere." Depending on your way of thinking, you can convert any
negativeintoapositive.
ExpressWhatYouLikeIncessantly
Ithinkit'sagoodideatokeeponsayingpositivethings.Becauseyou
have no idea what will be lead to what kind of job. Thanks to whoever
rememberedwhatIlikeorwhatIthinkisfun,theamountofthingsthat
werelikeadreamcometruearenotfewandfarbetween.
Forexample,IreallylikeAsanoInio-san'smangas.WhenIsaidthatin
abunchofplaces,itledtomehavingatalkwithhimthroughamagazine.
That'snotall.RightaftermytransfertoHKT48wasdecided,inorderto
helpmefeelbetter,Asano-sandrewadrawingofmeandgaveittomeas
apresent.I'mnotthekindofpersonwhohasattachmenttophysicalthings
butthatdrawingismymostprizedpossession.
IwasalsoemotionalwhenImadeaguestappearanceonacertainmusic
show (「Sakigake! Ongaku Bandzuke ~Eight~」May 3rd, 2012
broadcast).
I was able to make an appearance with Kumai-chan (Kumai Yurina)
fromBerryzKoubouwhoI'velovedeversinceIwasanH!PwotainOita
and kept saying that I liked over and over again even after I joined
AKB48.
I would have been happy with just that but Kumai-chan brought with
herafanletterthatIwrotetoherwhenIwasinmiddleschoolinOita.
Becausemyoldselfputthosefeelingsintowords,myfeelingsreached
Kumai-chan. Because I continued saying that I liked her, I was able to
meetherthroughaTVshow.
Ithoughtthatitmakesonewanttotryexpressingthemselves.Infact,in
regardstowhatyoulike,whoeverspeaksupaboutwhattheylikewins.
BecomeIntoxicatedInYourself
One of the reasons I can feel happy is because I'm the type of person
whogetsintoxicatedinmyself.
Lastyear,IproducedKaotan's(MatsumuraKaori,ForeverSKE48)solo
debut.
SincecreatingIdolsongswasoneofmyaspirationsIchoseasongout
ofthirtycandidatesbymyselfandIalsowrotethelyricstothesong.Inthe
beginning,Ichosetheword"Matsumurabu"andafterIfoundasongwith
abeginningandendchorusthatfitsa5characterword,Iwroteitallupon
mysmartphoneinoneshot.IwasintheplanefromTokyotoFukuokasoI
thinkittookmeaboutanhour.
WhenIaskedaboutitlateron,itseemsthatAkimoto-sandecidessongs
thesamewayaswell.Hesaysthathedecidesonawordandthenchooses
asongthatfitsthatword.
Andthat'showthesong,"Matsumurabu",wascreated.WhenIre-listen
to it now, I pat myself on the back saying that it's great. The lyrics,
especiallythelyrics,aregreat.
Imustsay,Ilovemylife.
Idon'thaveconfidenceinmyappearanceormypersonalitybutIhavea
ton of confidence in my own life. I think my life is the greatest and the
happiest.IamconfidentthatIwon'tlosetoanyoneconcerningthat.
That'swhynomatterhowmuchI'mmadetoplaythebadguy,nomatter
what kinds of terrible things are said to me, I'm able to think that I'll be
finebecausemylifeisperfect.
ChangeAttitudesRightAfterBeingPraised
It'sgreattopraisemyselfbutI'mhappierbeingpraisedbyothers.
I'm not the type of person who doesn't have opinions. I'm the type of
person who has them. But if I'm praised on something that I don't even
realizemyself,I'mgoingtogowiththatidea.
There was an impressionable happening where I completely felt that I
wasgoodatchangingattitudesquickly.
Many times the character of whoever is first place in Sousenkyo is
reflected upon the song that the senbatsu Sousenkyo members sing. To
give an easy example, because (Oshima) Yuko-chan became first place,
theenergeticsongknownas"HeavyRotation"wasborn.
In 2013, I was also first place. I wondered what kind of song that
Akimoto-san would make for me. I was thinking that this can't be good.
BecauseIwastoldearlieronsomethinglike,"Sashihara'saweirdperson
soI'llwriteaBonOdorisong."
Thefinishedsongwascalled『KoiSuruFortuneCookie』.
CanIjustsaysomething?
WhenIfirstheardthissong,Ididn'tlikeitatall.Ithadaslowtempo
anditwasn'tfastpaced.Ithoughtitwasaterriblesong!
WhatIwantinanIdolsongisafastpacedtempo.WhenItoldthatto
Akimoto-san, he said to me, "I can write the type of song that you like
withmyeyesclosed."Ifthat'sso,heshouldhavedonethatinstead.....
But when it actually released, it received really great reviews. Even
Tamori-santoldme,"ThemomentIhearditafteronelisten,Ithoughtit
was a really great song", and both (Chihara) Junia-san and (Watanabe)
Naomi-san said they bought the song. There hasn't been a song that had
beenpraisedthatmuchbyotherpeople.AroundthetimewhenIstartedto
slowly come to that realization, the song started to spread to around the
societyinaformthathadneverbeenseenuntilnow.
Asaresult,Ichangedmythoughtsentirely.
"Thissongisagreatsong!"
I'mreallyquickatchangingmymind.Ifeveryoneelsesaysit'sagood
song,thenI'llseriouslythinkthatit'sagoodsongtoo.
My opinion might not change for the other way though. Even if other
people say it's a bad song, as long as I think it's a good song then it's a
goodsong.Thatpartprobablywon'tchangemuch.
But now if others will give me praise then it's better to switch to the
otheropinionoridea.It'sannoyingtowatchsomeonebeweirdlystubborn.
Ithinkit'sthehappierchoicetogowiththeopinionofothers.
ListenToOnlyPraise
Eitherway,Iwanttobepraised.I'mapersonwhothrivesonpraise.Of
course,Idogetwarnedbythestaff.Akimoto-sanhasalsogivenmeharsh
words.
Butbasically,Ionlylistentothepositivethings.I'materriblewoman.
When you get a warning, there's a compliment that comes with it too.
Like,"Thispartaboutthiswasgood.But...."Tomyears,Icanonlyhear
what comes before "but." "This part about this thing was not good. But
there were good parts as well." To my ears, I can only hear what comes
after"but."
Infortunetellingaswell,Ionlybelieveinthegoodthings.Ifthefortune
tellertellsme,"Suchandsuchcurrentlyhasbadfortuneinsuchmanner.
However....",Ionlycareaboutwhatcomesafter"however."
Iignorethenegatives.
TheBiggestPrincipleIsTo"NotCauseOthersTrouble"
SoamIbeginningtoseemlikeacrazyperson?
But I'm the type of person who doesn't want to cause others trouble.
You might be thinking, "Well, you're the one to talk" because of the
scandalbut......pleaselisten.
For example, if I only have ten minutes to put on makeup because I
overslept,that'sfinewithmebutI'dbescaredifIoversleptandittookup
otherpeople'stime.
WhenIstarredasoneofthemainrolesforthefirsttimeinthedrama,
『MusenoKagami』,againIdidn'twanttocausetroubletootheractors
andstaffbecauseIdidn'tknowmylinessoImadesurethatImemorized
mylines.
Iabidebythelawsoastonotcausetroubletoothers.
Even if I'm going to a convenience store that's very close by, I make
sure to press the pedestrian crossing button and wait. No matter how
emptytheroadsmaybelateatnight,evenifIcan'tseeasinglecarinplain
sight,Iwon'tcrossunlessit'sgreen.
I don't like to run across when the signal is blinking. The people who
seethatwillgetnervousandit'sanuisance.
I think I have a decent amount of common sense. I may have broken
RenaiKinshibutasidefromthat,Ifollowalltherules.
You only have one life so I think you can do whatever you want.
However,aslongasitdoesn'tcauseotherstrouble!
Itmaybethebiggestprincipletomywayofthinking.
ConvinceYourselfThatIt'sForYourOwnSake
Intheend,IthinkIonlythinkaboutmyself.Ionlyliveformyself.Ido
only things that become my achievements. In companies, people are
probablylikethataswell.Ithinkyoushoulddoitifyoutryhardatwork
andpeoplearoundyousaylike,"Wewereabletocomethisfarthanksto
you"butfirst,don'tgooutofyourwaytoparticipateinworkthatwon'tbe
likethat.
InHKT48,Iamthesameinthatrespect.Iworkveryhardatjobsforthe
group because I'm happy when people tell me "Good job Sashihara." In
fact, you can even say that I try hard only because I want people to say
thosekindsofthingstome.
I'mareallydirtyperson.
It'sprettysad.
IAmHappiestWhenOthersAreHappy
DespitethefactthatI'mjustareallytwistedperson,Iammosthappiest
whenotherpeoplearehappy.Iamhappiestwhenotherpeoplearehappy
becauseofsomethingthatIdid.
That'swhyIlovetogivepeoplepresents.Sincealongtimeago,Ioften
don'tspendmoneyonmyself.I'dratherspendmoneyonotherpeopleand
itgetsmeexcited.Ialsousuallytreatmykouhaioutalot.
The first time a senpai treated me out to somewhere was (Oshima)
Yuko-chan. When the four of us from Not Yet (Oshima Yuko, Kitahara
Rie,YokoyamaYui,andme)wenttogotokaraoke,shepaidforallforus
asifitwasaprettynormalthingtodo.Shesaidshefeltthatit'sactually
embarrassingtomakethekouhaipay.
I thought, "Ah, I see." People who have money should be the ones to
spreadthewealtharound.
WhenIgoouteatingwithTakamina-san(TakahashiMinami),shewill
definitely treat me out. "Yeah, that's totally fine." I just tried mimicking
herrightnow.
When Mariko-sama (Shinoda Mariko) took me out to get a facial
massage, I wondered, "How can such nice people exist?!" I mean, facial
massages are really expensive.I began to think that this is the kind of
personthatI'dwanttobe.
Ithinkthiswayofthinkingiseasytounderstand.Dothingsforpeople
thatwouldmakeyouhappyasifitweredonetoyou.
AfterIstartedtoproperlyreceivemoneyfromwork,Ibecameableto
treatoutmykouhai.Iunderstoodthatitfeelsreallygoodseeingothersget
allhappy.Ilikedtogivepresentsinthepast,butnowIcandoitmorethan
ever.
Irememberthekindnessofothers.Ialsoremembermygrudgestowards
othersthough.I'mverypersistentinbothofthem.
IwonderwhatkindofwomanamI.
Iguessmysteryjustgetsdeeper,huh?
YouWon'tLoseIfYouDon'tFight
Andnow,IshalltellasuperspecialsecretthatI'vesavedforlast.It'sa
secretoflifethatI'vetoldtonooneelseotherthanmemberswhoareata
completelossaswhattodo.
Basically,Idon'tcompeteheadon.
I'vesaidthismanytimesbynowbutIalwayschangetheconditions.I
will either search for a method that will end something without me
competitingorIwilltrytocreateasituationwhereIcanfightonmyown
terms.
Imayhavenotcaredmuchaboutwinningorlosinginthefirstplace.If
you do care, you'll have a life full of losses. If you don't care, you win.
Right?
When I think about it that way, the only thing in my life where I
compete head on with other people might only be the Sousenkyo. Ah,
arguingovertheInternetisdifferent.Duringthosetimes,Idon'twantto
loseatall.
Backtothesubject.
SothiswasduringthefirstSousenkyo(July8th,2009).
Atthetime,thefirst21placesweretheSenbatsuteam.Iwasn'taiming
toohighbutIdefinitelywantedtogetintoSenbatsuifIcould.
Theresultwas1170votes,27thplace.
IkeptoncryingeversinceIgavemyspeech.Evenbackstage,Icriedfor
twohours.
NowthatIlookback,itwasthemostfrustratingmomentinmylife.The
frustration I felt at the time was even greater than the frustration I felt
whenIgotsecondplaceinthisyear'sSousenkyo.IthoughtthatIwould
neverbeabletoentersenbatsuinmylife.TheSousenkyoitselfwasbeing
heldforthefirsttimeasatestsoIdidn'tknowhowmuchinfluenceithad.
I actually didn't get into senbatsu until I got the place in the next
Sousenkyoofthefollowingyear.
Soasaresult,Ibegansulking.
I think that if that happened now, I would've stopped sulking and
changed attitudes in a second. I still had a long ways to go during this
time. I was super negative. If I had some reason to leave, there's a good
possibiliythatIwouldhaveleftAKB48.
That's why there was no part afterwards where I used my feelings of
frustrationofnotgettingintosenbatsutotrymybestuntilthenextyear.
TherewasnotonepartwhereIleveragedmyfrustrationtotryharderby
changing my character to be even more geared towards variety and my
rankjumpedupthefollowingyearasaresult.
Iwillsayitonemoretime.
Ibegansulking.
Wehavephraseslike"drivenbyfrustration"or"drivenbyregret."
Ican'tbedrivenbyfrustration.I'mthetypetogo,"Damn,thissucks"
andfeeldepressedifIgetfrustrated.
ThatwassomethingthatIunderstoodfromalongtimeago.Onschool
tests,Ineverthoughtevenoncethatifthefirsttimewasbad,Iwouldtry
thenexttime.Ijustgetdepressedlike,"Oh,lookslikethat'sthebestIcan
do."
BecauseIunderstandthatI'mthatkindofperson,Ihavetoforgetthings
that I feel frustrated about right away. I have to put it behind me and
pretendmyfrustrationdidn'texist.
At around the time of the first Sousenkyo, I wasn't able to do that. I
wasn'taware.Now,I'malreadyfine.AslongasIgetafullnightofsleep,I
cancompletelyforgetaboutit.
But,there'sabetterway.Thatis,notfightinginthefirstplace.Ifyou
don'tfight,youwon'tlose.
Forme,themostimportantthingisnotwinning,butrather,notlosing.
ThereAreNoRivals
IthinkI'mprobablylackingthewilltocompetewithotherpeople.
I haven't had a rival in the past. I've never thought about comparing
myself to another person and seeing where I'm lacking or catching up to
another person, or creating one in order to grow myself and I don't look
aroundmeandthinkthatIshouldhaverivals.
TherewasamemorableeventwhereIclearlyrealizedthat.
I have a group of friends known as the "Chihou-gumi" who lived
togetherforjustamonthrightafterwecametoTokyo.
ThememberswereKitaharaRieandNakanishiYuukafromAichi,Oya
ShizukafromFukuoka,andamemberwhoalreadygraduated.Wewerea
groupoffivegirlsallaroundthesameagewholivedtogether.
We woke up early, went to lessons, learned dance choreography, did
voicetraining,camehomelate,practicedbyourselvesmoreaftercoming
home,fooledaroundlikeidiots,gettired,thenwenttosleep.Ourdinners
wereleftoversfromlunchatthelessonsoweaskedthemtogiveuselarge
portionssothatwecouldshareitamongstourselves.
We kept going back and forth from our home to our lesson together,
everyday for 24 hours. At the time, there still wasn't anything that to
competeaboutlikewakingupearlierorhavingpracticewithanotherteam.
Ithinkthat'swhythefiveofuswereabletogetalongsowell.
I think that everyone coming from somewhere else outside of Tokyo
wasalsoanotherbigreason.Onceyousayyou'regoingtobeanIdoland
yougotothecity,thepeoplebackathomewilltalkaboutyou.Youcan't
comebackhomeindisgracewhilethepeoplearetalkingaboutyou.It'sa
disservicetoyourparentswhosupportedyourdreamsandgavemoneyto
support you. Wanting to return home as a hero makes us want to work
hardawayfromhome.Weallsharedthesamefeelings.
I think that I was really lucky to quickly be able to find friends
importanttomeandwhomI'dwanttobetogetherwith.
Myfeelingsstoppedatbeingjustfriends.
This was a while after the Chihou-gumi started living separately from
eachother.
Kitahara(Rie)whoisthesamegenerationasme,startedappearingon
TVmoreoften.TheotherChihou-gumimemberscalledmyphonecrying.
"KitaharaisgettingmoreandmoreworkandyetIhavenothingtodo......."
That's when I realized it for the first time. "Oh, so people carry those
kindsoffeelings."
I was also in the exact same situation as that member. Yet, all I felt
towardsKitaharawaswantingtowishher"Congratulations."Ididn'tfeel
asif"Ilosttothisperson"atall.
Theremaybemanymemberswhothinkofmeastheirrival.ButIdon't
thinkofanyoneelseasarival.It'snotthatI'mtakingthemlightly,it'sjust
thatIneverhadasenseofrivalryinmeinthefirstplace.
NotBeingGoodWithPeopleoftheSameAge
Allowmetocontinuemypreviousstoryalittlelonger.
Iamhumblewithmysenpai.Withkouhai,Icanbecomenice.
Forpeopleolderthanme,it'ssafeifI"lookuptothem"andit'sokayif
I'msomewhat"morecasual"withpeopleyoungerthanme.
If I put it that way, the ones who are the most difficult for me to
communicate with might be people who are the same age as me. It's
incrediblyunclearastohowIshouldbehavewiththem.
Forexample,Miichan(MinegishiMinami)andIarethesameageand
our birthdays are only six days apart but if lets say that we were in the
samegeneration,I'mnotsureifIwould'vebeenabletogetalongwithher.
Miichan is an AKB48 "orimen" (an original member from the first
audition) and since she is a senpai, I was able to gain her favor by
completely going like, "Senpai!" so we got along and we were able to
createtherelationshipthatwehavenow.Ifthatwasn'tso,Iwonderhowit
mighthaveturnedout.
When I look back at all my past experiences until now, it seems that
havingasenpai-kouhairelationshipstrangelymakesiteasierformetoget
alongwithothers.
It probably might become easier for people of the same age to hold
some sort of sense of rivalry with me. Even if I don't feel that way, the
otherpersonwill.
ButIdon'twanttothinkthat"I'vewonagainstsomeone"orthat"I've
lostagainstsomeone."Idon'tcomparemyselfwithotherpeopleandmake
myfeelingsgoupanddowndependingifIwinorlose.
IbelievethatIamwhoIam.Allthetime.Constantly.
Don'tSetGoals
Eitherway,Idon'twanttofight.
Idon'twanttofightwithothersandIdon'twanttofightwithmyself.
That'swhyIdon'tsetmygoals.
Onceyoudecidegoals,youbegintofightagainstthem.
Ifyou'renotabletoreachyourgoal,you'llthink,"LookslikeIwasonly
abletomakeitthisfar."You'llthinkthatyouhavelostagainstyourself.
Ifyoudon'thavegoals,you'llbeabletothinkthat,"Yes!I'vemadeit
thisfar."
We can enjoy our lives more happily if we see what we have done
insteadofwhatwehavenotdoneyet.
Atthe2014Sousenkyotallyingevent,fallingfromthecrown
intosecondplace.Takingapinchasachance,afamousspeech
wasborn.
Chapter9
LivingEnjoyablywithGyakutenryoku
By transferring to HKT48, I think I became very positive. I became
strongerandIfeellikeIcompletedmy"pinchesarechances"formula,or
inotherwords,my"Gyakutenryokuphilosophy."
After talking about my producing techniques, my ways of
communication,mywaysofworkingandthinking,there'ssomethingthatI
feltonceagain.
Iwilltalkaboutthattimeonemoretime.
ChangeAttitudesandTurnItIntoLaughter
AsanIdol,therearemanypointsthatI'mlackinginthangoodpoints.
I'mnotgoodatsingingordancingandI'mnotcute.
When I talk like this, you might think, "Do you want me to tell you
that'snottrue?"butIseriouslyfeelthatway.IgetitbecauseI'matleast
goodatlookingatthingsobjectively.
Andthatscandal.IhonestlythoughtmylifeasanIdolwasalreadyover.
LikeIsaidinthefourthchapter,IthoughtaboutseriouslyquittingAKB48.
But by transferring to HKT48 and receiving a chance at another
challengethroughmakingthegroupexciting,Ibecameabletoclearlysee
thepathinfrontofme.AfterIslept,IwasalreadyfinebythetimeIwoke
up.I'llhavereturnedtomyusualselfthenextday.
There'salreadynothingIcandoaboutthearticle.Itisnousetryingto
fixsomethingthatisbeyondyourcontrol.
Forget,ratherthanthink.Allthat'slefttodoisdowhatyoushouldbe
doing.
IdecidedthatIwoulddotheworkinfrontofmewhilehavingfunlike
always.
ThenextdayaftermytransfertoHKT48wasdecided,Ihadarecording
for variety show. I was with Tsuchida (Teruyuki)-san and (Gekidan)
Hitori-sanwhoareinthesameagencyasmeandtheykeptonteasingme
aboutthetransfer.
IfIturnedintoapersonwholookedsadoraproblemtheycouldn'tdeal
with,Iguessthingswouldn'thavegonewellfromthere.IfIstepforward
by speaking like, "Hey, wait a minute!" after being teased, it doesn't
becomepainfultowatch.Itbecomesfunny,itbecomessomethingtotalk
about.
I'vebeenteasedalotbypeopleinmanyshowsafterthat.
"So why were you transferred to HKT48 again?" "Someone sold out
picturesofme!"
"Whattypeofguydoyoulike?""Apersonwithatightmouth!"
WheneverIgetatopicthrownatme,Ikeptongoingalongwithit.
Ithinkit'salrightifyoucanbringitintoacomedicdirection.Ithinkit's
notgoodifyou'reseenasaproblemlike,"Oh,we'dbetterkeepawayfrom
thisperson."Butyou'refineaslongasyoumakethemlaugh.
I take the teasing and turn it into laughter. It is all thanks to everyone
aroundmewhoturnedimagewherepeoplefeltsadandsorryformeintoa
brightermood.
GyakutenryokuistheAbilitytoHaveOthersSupportYou
Therewasalsoanunexpectedandluckythingthatoccurred.
WhatIdidwaschangeattitudesandactasifnothinghappened.Butthe
peoplearoundmewerethinking,"Ifeelsadforher"or"Itmustbetough
onher."
There's a gap between my feelings and everyone else's feelings. That
gapwasachance.
Duringapinch,asI'mworkingpositively,thepeoplearoundmepraise
me.WheneveryoneisworriedifI'malrightandI'menergetic,they'lltell
methatI'mastrongperson.WhenItakeapinch,turnitintosomethingto
talkabout,andthenlaughitoff,theygetamazed.
Itbecomeseasiertoreceivepraiseduringapinch.Andthat'showIget
it.It'salmostlikecheating.
Ithoughttheywouldgetangryatme.IhadthoughtthatIwouldbecome
disliked. But, the thing I felt the most was the feeling that everyone
supportedme.
I probably haven't done anything special. It was thanks to everyone's
support that pulled me out of my worst situation to the place that I'm at
now.
IfthethingthattheIdolsoftodayneedisthe"theabilitytomakeothers
wanttogivetheirsupport",Imayhavethataswell.
The source of my Gyakutenryoku, the ability to change a pinch into a
chance,isthesupportfromeveryone.
EnjoyYourLife!
At the start of 2012, I revealed my aspirations for that year at
kakizome10.
The words that I chose was, "Enjoy your life!" Every year since then,
thosewordsweremyaspirations.
Evenwhenthingsgetrough,Ithinkaboutitinafundirectionforeven
justalittlebit.
IconvincemyselfthatI'mhavingfun,fun,fun.That'sallthatmatters.If
youthinkforevenasecondthatyoucan'tdoitanymore,youcan't.You
needtostronglybelievethatapinchisachance.
Ending your conclusions with something like "But I had fun" is also
anotheroneofmymethods.
Forexample,therearetimeswhereIthinkthatIcouldn'tspeakwellorI
couldn'tdoanythingforTVshowrecordings.Ifthosefeelingslatchonto
youanddragyoudown,you'llfeeldownanditmightalsobeahindrance
towardsyournextjob.Ifso,thenswitchyourconclusiontobe,"ButIhad
fun."
Iwasn'tabletospeakwell,"butIhadfun."
Icouldn'tdoanythinggoodfortheshow,"butIhadfun."
IwonderifthisisalsoGyakutenryoku?
Intheend,theonlypersonwhocanmakeyouhappyisyourself.
Make yourself happy. Strongly having those feelings, I think, is the
shortestpathtohappiness.
Conclusion
Thissummermarksthetwofullyearsthathaspassedaftermytransfer
toHKT48.
IhadfuninmytimesasanAKB48member.ButIamhavingthemost
funrightnowwithoutadoubt.
IfIdidn'tgettransferredtoHKT48,IthinkmylifeasanIdolwouldbe
muchshorter.
AllthemembersofHKT48arepureandnotreadyinagoodway.There
wasonlyroomforimprovement.Beingabletocloselywatchthemgrow
hasalsoenabledmetogrowaswell.
And I was also able to remember my past self who admired Idols and
enteredAKB48.
Amysteriousthinghappened.
I've become able to hear everyone's cheers at theater performances or
concertsmorethaneverbefore.
The cheers from the audience, the emotions that you can only
experienceonstage,iswhatyoucall"addicting."IfeellikeIrecentlyhave
understoodthetruemeaningofthatword.
I've said it many times already in this book but when I was in Oita, I
wasa"Genba-wota"whowouldrushtomyfavoriteIdolgroup'sconcerts.
NowthatI'mamemberofHKT48,I'mintothe"Genba"partof"Genbawota"morethanever.
MymotherwhoatthetimesawIdolconcertswithmerecentlyseemed
to really began liking HKT48 concerts and comes to see us perform
everytime.
Together,we'renowboth"Genba-wota."
CanItellanicelittlestory?
Atthestartofthisyear,attheHKT48Kyushutour,wehelda"coming
home"concertinmyhometownofOitaforthefirsttime.
The venue was Grand Theater - the same venue where I saw my first
Idolconcertduringmyfifthyearinelementaryschool.
IstoodonthesamestagewhereIsawAyaya(MatsuuraAya),Morning
Musume,andGomaki.
"Sothisiswhattheviewislikefromthestage."
"Duringthatconcert,Iwassittingoverthere."
Abunchofmemoriesstartedcomingbacktome.
It was the concert around the time Mikitty (Fujimoto Miki) was in
MorningMusume.WhenMikittylookeddirectlyatmeatthefirstbalcony
whereIwasseated,themomentIwaved,shewavedbackatme.
WheneverItellthatstory,peoplemakefunofmeforit.Theysay,"It's
allinyourhead."Aspeopletoldmethat,Itoobegantothinkthatitmight
havebeenjustinmyhead.
IstoodonthestageofGrandTheaterandIunderstood.Ifapersonwho
was sitting in the same seat waved at me, I'd be able to see it clearly. I
knewit,Mikittydidonlywaveatme!Iwasincrediblyhappytobeableto
confirmthat.
IfeltlikeIwasabletowaveatthesamepersonwholookeduptoIdols
allthoseyearsago.
Iwillalsoonedaygraduate.Oneday,IwillquitbeinganIdol.
If I were to continue the entertainment industry even after my
graduation, I wouldn't at all be against being addressed as "former
AKB48" or "former HKT48." Rather, I want to live sucking the nectar
frommyglorydays.
But right now, my graduation is completely unthinkable. I want to
continuebeinganIdolandcontinuestandingontopofastageforever.
Bytheway.
Didyoufindmywayofthinkingweird?
Ataglance,I'manormalgirlright?ThenwhenyoulistentowhatI'm
thinking, I'm just weird. I'm just a really calculative person with a bad
personality.
AmIabitweird?Someofmyemotionsarelackinghereandthere.
ButIdohavecommonsense.And,I'msurprisinglypositive.Justwhat
isupwithme?
IwonderifI'llbeabletogetmarried?
指原莉乃（さしはら・りの）
SashiharaRino
BornonNovember11,1992.BloodtypeO.FromOita-ken.In2007,
shepassedtheAKB485thgenerationmemberauditionsandbegan
activitiesasanAKB48memberonMarch2008.Sheiscurrentlyamain
memberoftheIdolgroup,HKT48,whichisbasedinHakata,Fukuoka.In
the2013AKB48Sousenkyo,sheobtainedfirstplace.Thesong,"KoiSuru
FortuneCookie"whereshesangascenterpositionwasabighitandis
nowoneofthesongsthatrepresentAKB48.
EndNotes
MorningMusume(Wolf)
back
"Backthen,theboardthatIfrequentedwasthe“MorningMusume
(Wolf)”board.Atfirst,Iwasjusttheretoreadwhatwasgoingon.
Thenmidway,Icreatedausernameandbeganpostingmyself.Now
thatIthinkaboutit,Iwasaprettyweirdperson.Therewasnoone
elsebutthat5thyearelementaryschooler.Obviouslythough."
On2Chan,thereare3boardsrelatedtoMorningMorningcommonly
knownasモーニング娘。（⽺）”MorningMusume(Sheep”,モーニン
グ娘。（狼）”MorningMusume(Wolf)”,andモーニング娘。
（鳩）”MorningMusume(Dove).Thedifferencesbetweenthemarethe
communitiesthatusethem,andthefeelingthatcomesoutfromthose
communities,justlikehowwehaveStage48,Nihongogo,andthenow
deprecatedEveryday48andhoweacharedifferentintheirownway.As
forthereasonwhytheyarenamedafterthosethreeanimals,itisa
referencebasedofabibleverse,Matthew10:16intheNewTestament
whichstates,"Behold,Iamsendingyoulikesheepinthemidstofwolves;
sobeshrewdasserpentsandsimpleasdoves."
キャラor"Character"
back
Totopitoff,Iwasacharacterthatgotteasedprettyearlyon.It’snot
likeIwantedtobeteased,Ijustwentalongwithitwhileeveryone
elsewasteasingme.Atthetime,thespotforthatkindofcharacter
wasavailablesoIwentstraightaheadandtookit,anditfeltlikeI
foundaplacewhereIbelonged.
InJapan,キャラ(kyara,shortfor“character”)isusedtodescribea
person’straits,habitsand/orpersonality.Inotherwords,anarchetype.
Sashiharawasknownasanいじられキャラ”(ijirarekyara)oraperson
whogetsteasedalot.EspeciallyintheJapaneseentertainmentindustry,
havinga“kyara”isimportantasithelpsonestandout,bemoreeasily
recognizable,andbemorepersonable.
Mobame
back
"Idisgressthough.Anyway,myblog.WhenIwasinOita,Iwas
runningmyownblogandIalsowasdoingmobamesoIfeltthatI
wasprettygoodatwriting.AsIputmyfirstpost.aswellasmy
introduction,Isuddenlyreceived3000comments.Notonlythat,my
fansareweird.Theyallactdumbinthecomments.WhenIselect
thosekindsofcommentsandreacttothemwithapost,itbeganto
pickupevenmore."
Shortfor“mobile-mail”,it’smonthlymobile-onlypremiumcontent
whereyougettextmessagessentbymembers
HagakiShokunin
back
Becauseofthispost,IwasabletostartconversingwithAkimoto-san
viatextmessages.“Onepostadayistoolittlesoincreasetheamount
ofposts.”“It’sinterestingtoseeyouaskquestionstoyourreaders.
Whydon’tyoutrymakingacornerlikeapersonwhosendatonof
postcards.”WhenAki-PheardthatIwantedtogetmyblogtorank
firstthroughaTVshow,hesaid,“Whydon’tyoutrypostinga
hundredtimesinaday?”.Andthat100blogpostshowreallydid
happen.
Aki-Psaysハガキ職⼈whichreferstoapersonwhoisknownfor
sendingtonsofmailtoacertainTVshoworradioshowwherethecontent
ofthemailcanrangefromideasforacornertoillustrations.
Hetare
back
Eversincemyfailureatbungeejumpingwasbroadcasted,people
aroundmestartedcallingme“hetare.”Atfirst,Ididn’tknowthat
“hetare”wassupposedtobeaninsult.Itookitthesamewayas
Mayuyu(WatanabeMayu)beingcalled“CG”soIthoughtthatthey
weregivingmeacharacter.IhaveverylittlepridesoevenafterI
realizedthattheywereinsults,Iwaslike,“Idon’treallymindaslong
astheythinkit’sinteresting.”
Signifiesanineptpersonwhoisalwayssincerelyworriedabout
somethingbenignandcrumblesbyaslightestnudge.Buttheiracute
behaviouristheveryreasonwhyotherslove(orlaughat)them.Aselfinflictinghypochondriacbutinafunnyandharmlessway.Originally
derivedfromanoldJapanesecolloquialexpression'he-tare'(constantly
fartingfromone'smouth)whichmeanssomeonetendtomoan/sigh/squeal
whenfacingatrivialproblem.*DefinitiontakenfromUrbanDictionary
RenaiKinshi
back
Iwascontactedregardinganarticlepublishedaboutmebyacertain
weeklymagazineonaMondaywitha“WaratteIitomo!”live
broadcast.Inthe48Group,thereisarulecalled“RenaiKinshi”
There’sanarticlesayingIdidsomethingthatwouldbreakthisrule
duringmytimeasKenkyuusei……Iblackedout.
RenaiKinshi,betterknownasthe“LoveBan”towesternfans.For
thosewhoareunfamiliarwiththeterm,itisthesometimesimplict,
sometimesexplictunwrittenrulethatstatesthatJapanseIdolsarenot
allowedtodate.Therearemanypossibletheoriesastowhyitexistsinthe
firstplace,howeverthemostcommonlyacceptedoneisfocusedonhow
JapaneseIdolsarealwaysrougharoundtheedgesandthatiftheyhadtime
todateaperson,itsignalstofansthattheyarenottakingtheirwork
seriouslyandtheyarenotusingtheirtimeonimprovingtheirabilities.I
couldhavejustcalledit“LoveBan”but“RenaiKinshi”asaphrasecomes
morenaturallytome.Astylisticchoiceintheend.
Matomesites
back
Ataroundthistime,thethingwhereIcansaytomyself"GoodJob
Sashihara",wasstoppingmyselffromcheckingtheInternet.Ididn't
lookatsiteslike2ChannelorMatomesitesonebit.IfIcheckedthe
Internetafterthearticlecameouttherewouldalsobethingsthat
wouldmakemefeelthatIdidsomethingandit'donlymakemefeel
worse.
Matomesitesaresiteswhichcurateinformationandthendisplaysthe
highlightsandsummariesofagiventopic.ThematomesitethatSasshi
talksaboutaremostlikelyoneswhichhighlightskeycommentsfrom
certain2Channelthreads.
"Ohayougozaimasu"
back
But,it'struethatinmanycases,Iamlikedbymyelders.Thereason
thatIcanthinkofisthatitmightbebecauseIdogreetingsalot.For
example,whenyoursenpaicomesintothechangingroom,allthe
kouhaisay,"Ohayougozaimasu".EvenifIamamongthegroupof
greetings,Iwon'tbeheard.Perhapsthesenpaimightthink,"Why
doesSashiharanotdohergreetings?"
おはようございます(Ohayougozaimasu)asyoumayormaynot
knowmeans"Goodmorning"inJapanese.However,inwork
environments,yousayおはようございますevenifit'snolonger
morning,especiallyintheentertainmentindustry.MostJapanesepeople
seemstonotunderstandwhythatisthecasebutonetheoryisthatforthe
personthatbeginsworking,itisthestartofanewworkdayforthem.
wwwor笑
back
TheonesIdon'twanttobeinvolvedwiththemostaretheoneswho
write"w"alotandwhostrayfromthepointbecauseIthinkthatno
matterwhatIsay,they'llneverchange.Iignorethemcompletely.
笑isthekanjiforlaughterandusedintheword,笑う（わらう・
warau）whichmeans"tolaugh"."wwww"inJapaneseistheequivalentof
"lol"andsorepeatingitoverandoveragainwouldbethesameas
"lololololol".
書き初め・Kakizome
back
Atthestartof2012,Irevealedmyaspirationsforthatyearon
kakizome.ThewordsthatIchosewas,"Enjoyyourlife!"Everyyear
sincethen,thosewordsweremyaspirations.Evenwhenthingsget
rough,Ithinkaboutitinafundirectionforevenjustalittlebit.
InthestartoftheNewYear,theJapaneseperformtheeventof
kakizomeinwhichtheywriteanauspiciouswordorphrasethatembodies
theirwishesorresolutionsfortheNewYear.
Finishedreadingthebook?Whatdidyouthink?Wait,don’ttellusyet!
Wearehappytohearaboutwhatyouthoughtaboutthebookbutwe’d
ratheryoutellthattoSasshiherselffirst!GotoherTwitterpageandtell
herwhatyouthoughtaboutthebookwiththehashtag#Gyakutenryoku!If
youdon’thaveaTwitteraccount,askafriendtotweettoherforyou!
SasshiseemstobemostactiveonTwitter(shehasn’tpostedanythingon
herGoogle+orherblogforyears),soinorderforyourvoicetobeheard,
ithastobeTwitter!
Also,wefeelthatthisisthebestwayforustocounthowmanypeople
haveactuallyreadthebook.Icanwriteaprogramthatwillsearchfor
Twitterfortweetsusing#Gyakutenryokuandseehowmanytimesitwas
beingused.Thisisalsoimportantthatyoudothisbecauseitwillshow
howmuchofareachamediumofthiskindhasoutsideofJapanwereitto
alsobereleasedinEnglish.Themoretimesthehashtagisusedpereach
uniqueindividual,themorethatitwillshowthattherearemanyfans
outsideofJapanandthatmanyfansoutsideofJapancareaboutthiskind
ofcontent.
Letussendamessage.Literally.Andtellyourfriendstogoreadthisbook
-boththeoriginalandtranslatedversion!
Withthatsaid,
ThankyouforreadingSashiharaRino'sGyakutenryoku~PinchwoMate~.
ThesetranslationswerebroughttoyoubyNewSchoolKaidan.