relationship horoscope

Transcription

Copyright Liz Greene, Astrodienst AG and Astro*Intelligence AG. Version 2.5
RELATIONSHIP HOROSCOPE
Psychological Analysis of Your Partnership
for Angelina Jolie
and Brad Pitt
Astrodienst AG, Dammstr. 23, CH-8702 Zollikon / Zürich, Internet: www.astro.com E-Mail: [email protected]
RELATIONSHIP HOROSCOPE
for Angelina Jolie
and Brad Pitt
Nr. 6212.502-5
Astrological Interpretation and Text by Liz Greene
Programming by Alois Treindl
Astrodienst AG, Dammstr. 23, CH-8702 Zollikon / Zürich
Tel. +41-44-392 18 18, Fax 391 75 74
Internet http://www.astro.com E-Mail [email protected]
Copyright Liz Greene, Astrodienst AG and Astro*Intelligence AG. Version 2.5
Astrological Interpretation and Text
by Liz Greene
Programming
by Alois Treindl
Illustrated by
Maf Räderscheidt
Programme Version 2.5 24 February 2015
Astrodienst AG, Dammstr. 23, CH-8702 Zollikon / Zürich
Tel. +41-44-392 18 18, Fax 391 75 74
Internet http://www.astro.com E-Mail [email protected]
Copyright Liz Greene, Astrodienst AG and Astro*Intelligence AG.
Relationship Horoscope
for Angelina Jolie
with Brad Pitt
by Liz Greene
TABLE OF CONTENTS
I. Introduction
The Alchemy of Relationship
II. What Brings You Together
A First Look * An Inner Conflict of Realism and Vision
Heart and Body * Irrepressible Desires * A Sense of Safety
Mind and Spirit * An Ongoing Birthday Party * Where There's
Life There's Hope * Flying a Hot Air Balloon * Riding the
Roller Coaster * Complement and Combat * A Display of Fireworks
Conflict and Challenge * Mutual Therapy * Tongue-Tied
III. The Essence of Your Relationship
Your Relationship as an Independent Entity * The Stuff That
Dreams Are Made Of * Caution, Turn On Fog Lamps * A
Subtle Dialogue
Your Relationship and Yourself * A Stirring of the Heart and the
Passions * Coming Home * Love Hurts * Say What You
Mean and Mean What You Say * A Spur to Creative Expression
* You Too Can Be a Stand-Up Comic * Chariots of Fire *
Waking Up the Mind and Spirit * How to Be a Rent-an-Argument
Service
Your Relationship and Your Partner * Your Partner's Heart is
Also Stirred * Muscle Power * Home Comforts * Feeling
loved * Your Partner's Mind and Spirit Come Alive * Strawberry Fields * Learning to Laugh * The Deeper Effects on Your
Partner's Inner World * Inner Renewal
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IV. Deeper Issues Activated Inside
Basic Relationship Patterns within You * The Double-Edged Gift
of Self-Sacrifice * A Reluctant Martyrdom
Basic Relationship Patterns within Brad
Within
*
The Eternal Youth
V. Conclusion
Appendix
The Perspective of the Relationship Horoscope
Technique * Further Reading
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CHAPTER I
INTRODUCTION
The Alchemy of Relationship
"The meeting of two people is like the meeting of two chemical
substances. If anything happens, both are changed."
- C. G. Jung
When we mix together the ingredients for a cake, we begin by
measuring the appropriate quantities of distinct and separate ingredients: flour, butter, eggs, sugar, milk. But somehow, when these
are blended together in a particular order and baked at a particular
temperature, we create an altogether different entity. The chemical
composition of the ingredients has irrevocably changed; the cake
smells, looks and tastes different from any single ingredient which
we put into it at the outset; and through some magic which the
chemist might explain but the cook usually does not comprehend, a
transformation process has occurred which is nothing short of
miraculous. Some ingredients, skillfully combined, make a delicious
treat. Others produce a reasonable but unexciting dessert. Still
others, even if they sounded wonderful in the book, create one of
those kitchen failures which teach us to try another recipe next time.
And perhaps even more mysteriously, different people like some
kinds of cakes and find others indigestible; and no one really knows
why.
Human relationships are considerably more enigmatic than
cookery, for the psychologist, unlike the chemist who observes
changes in the molecular structure of eggs and flour, will never be
able to totally reduce our interaction with others to a rational formula. There is a profound mystery at the heart of every relationship
which always eludes our best efforts to explain why we are with this
person and not that one. Yet the essential principle is the same.
Take two human ingredients, distinct and separate, and put them
together in the mixing bowl of a close relationship. Stir vigorously
and apply heat - the heat of sexual desire, emotional need, conflict,
intellectual exchange, the challenges of time and mundane circumstances, idealisation and inspiration - and through some extraordinary alchemy a new entity is created with its own life-force, its own
intelligence and vision, and its own identity independent of and different from the two people who generated it.
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Even more mysterious is the effect which this new entity has on
the character and development of the individuals involved. At best,
each person may grow and blossom through the transformative
effect of the relationship. At worst, both may suffer. Or the
relationship may be healthy for one partner but turns out, however
delicious, to disagree badly with the other. Some people bring out
the worst in us, and some bring out the best. And this is not necessarily related to how we are treated by our partners. We may feel
profound compassion for failings in one individual which invoke
only contempt or anger when we perceive the same failings in someone else. We may find ourselves able to explore and express talents
and abilities in one relationship which seem mysteriously blocked or
thwarted in another - despite any active encouragement or obstruction on the part of our companion. Sometimes even deep love
between partners cannot prevent the gradual erosion of confidence
and enthusiasm in one or both people. Sometimes a couple who
have always been ill-suited and unhappy with each other remain inexplicably locked in relationships for a lifetime, yet at other times a
couple who in fact have much in common as well as a deep attachment to each other are forced apart in spite of their sincere and
prolonged efforts to preserve the bond. Many failed relationships
are due to the unintentionally destructive actions of both partners,
and could be helped or even radically transformed through insight
and joint effort. Many others are inexplicably unworkable despite
such insight and effort. Every relationship contains many ingredients, some conscious and some unconscious; and however deeply
we analyse ourselves and our partners, we must sometimes accept
some deeper or higher intelligence at work in our relationship
patterns. Yet whatever the nature and outcome of a relationship, if as Jung puts it - anything "happens", both people are irrevocably
changed.
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CHAPTER II
WHAT BRINGS YOU TOGETHER
Our attraction to another person is rarely as simple as we believe
it to be at the time we experience that initial fascination. We may
admire someone's handsome face or soulful eyes or lovely body or
graceful way of moving. Or we may be drawn to their sense of
humour, their intelligence or their personal power and self-confidence. But what we first register about another person is only the
tip of a very deep and complex iceberg. You and Brad are two distinct individuals - two entirely different "substances" - each of whom
brings to the alchemy of your relationship a defined personality with
its own unique gifts, attributes and conflicts. But what is the specialness of the attraction? What has brought you together? George
Bernard Shaw, cynical about relationships at the end of his life,
once defined the state of being in love as the fallacy of believing that
one person was actually different from another. Most of us, unless
we have been deeply and perhaps pathologically embittered by experience, would not agree with him; people are ultimately irreplaceable because they are unique, and you and Brad create a unique
chemistry between you. There may be areas where, in terms of your
basic characters, you have an instinctive harmony and understanding with each other. That is usually why we believe we are attracted
to another person: They seem to embody what we most admire and
need. Yet in your relationship, as in every other, there will inevitably be friction and opposition as well as attraction, and you and
your partner must accept a certain amount of compromise and adjustment in order to function together as a couple. And on a deeper
level, there may be areas where you touch off highly combustible
unconscious issues within each other, stirring up emotions and reactions which surprise you both. "But I didn't know that about him,"
you may say later. Or perhaps you really did know, but the glow of
the initial intoxication obscured your own instinctive knowledge.
1. A First Look
We shall look first at what has drawn you together. You may recognise in the initial overview an attraction of temperaments which
you have met before in other relationships. This is because all of us
instinctively seek in another what we feel we are missing within
ourselves, and if one relationship fails to provide it then we will continue to seek that sustenance from the next. But your bond with your
partner is unique, for you and Brad are the highly individual human
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substances whose mysterious chemical interaction may ultimately
change you both.
An Inner Conflict of Realism and Vision
Because you have considerable inner tension between your
security needs and the more romantic and idealistic side of your nature, you are likely to bring a certain amount of conflict into your
relationship with Brad simply because you are torn between reality
and your dream of love. The earthier aspects of your personality
crave stability and continuity, but if you try to circumscribe the
relationship with too many routines and structures, you tend to start
feeling restless and trapped, as though something has gone "missing" from the original romantic excitement. Equally, if there is too
much unpredictability, you begin to feel insecure and threatened.
Probably you confuse yourself as much as you confuse your partner
with these apparently contradictory and mutually exclusive needs,
and you may need to be careful not to try to solve the problem by
repressing one side of yourself in favour of the other.
The truth is that you need both from your partner, and the two of
you need to work together to find a lifestyle which allows enough
reliability but which also allows a spirit of adventure and excitement
to occasionally upset the routine. If you reject the more staid side of
your nature because you are afraid of being trapped in mundane life,
you may force Brad to carry the weight of the practical side of the
relationship, which would end up depressing him and cutting you off
from any feeling of real security within yourself. But if you try to
suppress your natural romanticism in favour of security, you may
stifle your partner and force him to act out the unpredictable elements in your own personality. If you can learn to live with your
own contradictions, allowing a place for both in the relationship, you
and your partner will be able to enjoy the entire spectrum.
2. Heart and Body
The most obvious way in which you and Brad affect each other is
through the activation of each other's emotions and desires.
Although such a mutual stirring of feelings and passions may not
always be comfortable or harmonious, nevertheless even through
conflict this activation of heart and body gives life, energy and excitement to the attraction between you.
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Irrepressible Desires
Put very simply, your partner's looks turn you on, and you are
likely to experience a very strong sexual attraction to each other.
Probably you are the sexual initiator in the relationship, directly or
indirectly; and the intensity of your attraction, combined with your
romantic idealism, are a source of life and energy to him. You vitalise him, and your admiration brings out his natural generosity and
warmth. The uncomplicated and direct nature of this aspect of your
attraction, and the possibilities it offers for sexual harmony and
compatibility, are a positive counteraction to any conflicts which
might arise in the relationship; for this strong physical attraction
between you is likely to be a lasting one.
A Sense of Safety
You are likely to experience feelings of deep fondness and
warmth toward Brad, particularly toward the vibrant and enthusiastic way in which he expresses himself to the outer world. The person he is striving to become strikes a deep resonance in you, and
makes you want to offer emotional support and containment. This
attraction can bring you extremely close at times, even to the point
where you could become one of those couples who comfortably
mirror each other's dress and mannerisms; and the sense of safety
and security which you provide your partner is also likely to create a
deeply affectionate quality both in bed and out. Your loyalty and
willingness to champion your loved ones makes him feel more
effective as an individual, and more attractive and desirable as well.
The mutual sense of affection and warmth the two of you generate is
one of the happiest notes in your attraction to each other.
3. Mind and Spirit
You and Brad have a dynamic effect on each other not only
because emotions and passions are stirred, but also because the
mind and spirit in both of you are stimulated and expanded as well.
Although such intellectual, spiritual and creative stimulation of each
other may at times seriously challenge existing attitudes and beliefs,
thus causing you to quarrel or disagree, nevertheless the ultimate
effect you have on each other is one of increased understanding and
vision, and the development of talents and skills in each of you
which may have been ignored or undervalued in the past.
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An Ongoing Birthday Party
The dramatic and energetic qualities of your partner's personality
have a way of making you genuinely like him. He inspires great tolerance and generosity in you, and you are likely to want to offer
your best to him. There are elements of real respect and admiration
in your feeling about him, and even without any romantic attraction,
you would probably instinctively feel the basis for a friendship.
Brad also seems to trigger your feelings of hope and faith in the
future and in your own potentials, and your need for creative expression is likely to be expanded and given form through his
company. The two of you also have the ability to laugh together, for
your partner brings out your sense of humour and is in turn a receptive audience for it. Whatever emotional conflicts might arise
between you, the creative energy and enthusiasm which you generate in each other can help you both cope with your problems from a
more positive and constructive viewpoint.
Where There's Life There's Hope
Your innate originality and sparkle arouse generous and downright noble feelings in your partner. Without trying, you make him
want to offer his best to the relationship, and you also stir his sense
of optimism about the future, expanding his horizons and giving him
greater faith in himself and his potentials. It is as though you stir the
spirit in him as well as the heart, and the quality of friendship and
mutual consideration inherent in the attraction between you makes
you both better people. In turn Brad brings a quality of vision and
meaning into your life, for his adventurous spirit and creative mind
give you a sense that life is bigger, broader and much more interesting in his company. The two of you bring out some very refined and
idealistic feelings in each other, as well as a deep spiritual sense that
life is essentially good and will take care of itself; and even if this
makes you both a little too stylised, grand and extravagant at times,
it also ensures that the sense of fun, adventure and hope will rarely
be absent between you.
Flying a Hot Air Balloon
There is great vitality and inspiration in the energy exchange
between you and Brad, for you spark each other off not only sexually but also in terms of your sense of expansiveness and future
possibilities. It is as though, when you are together, you suddenly
begin thinking of all the things you could do together, and all the
places you could go, and life opens up in a much bigger and more
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exciting way. Your partner's need to grow and stretch his horizons
is triggered by your natural enthusiasm and courage, and he is likely
to loyally back your efforts and goals because he can intuitively
understand what you want from life. You also bring out his generosity and warmth, and whatever goals you pursue, you have a loyal
and well-meaning supporter who believes in you. You in turn are
energised by his adventurous spirit and imagination, and there is
something about him that makes you want to work hard for the
relationship as well as for your own goals. The two of you can very
rapidly generate some quite grand dreams about what you will do
with your future together, and may sometimes overestimate where
you can get and how fast you can get there; for you also activate
each other's extravagance and wilfulness. But the optimism and
confidence which you bring out of each other create a resilience in
both of you which can help you to bounce back from disappointments and find the energy and hope to try again.
Riding the Roller Coaster
Part of the attraction between the two of you involves the electric
quality of instability and mental awakening which you bring into
your partner's life. Although this may at times be quite disturbing to
you both, it is nevertheless a powerful component in what draws you
together. There is something about your essential nature, with its
high ideals and strong desire for perfection, which excites and fascinates Brad, for you open up facets of life and of your partner's personality of which he has probably previously had little experience.
You in turn are drawn to a quality of originality and spirit of which
he might not have been fully aware, but which attracts you like a
flower does a bee. But your partner may not always welcome the
stirring of this more unconventional side of his nature, and the feeling of moving into an unknown world of ideas and experiences may
bring up powerful feelings of anxiety in him. This anxiety is a natural human reaction to change, for it is likely that you, willingly or
unwillingly, will eventually be the catalyst for major changes in his
world-view and the ways in which he expresses himself. Brad may
need to be aware of his tendency toward abrupt and compulsive
withdrawals because of his anxiety.
The unpredictable element which the two of you experience is
rather like a fluctuating electrical current, and it may lead to crises
and separations; for you are like a pair of magnets, sometimes
attracting and sometimes repelling. But if you and your partner can
recognise that perhaps this element is needed in both your lives, and
that you can help to free each other from many old attitudes and out-
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worn habits, you will both be able to manage the challenge you pose
each other with greater confidence and trust in yourselves.
Complement and Combat
You and your partner fascinate but also irritate each other
because of your extreme differentness. There is a dichotomy
between your essential values and outlook which is both complementary and combative, and your innately reasonable and civilised
nature will often conflict with what you experience as your partner's
occasional bouts of insensitivity and self-centredness. However,
despite the rather tense feelings which may arise between you
because of this difference of temperament, there is also quite a lot of
strong attraction and admiration, for each of you expresses something the other needs to learn. You might both try to cultivate greater tolerance toward each other, enjoying the other's abilities while
remaining loyal to your own values; for your respective goals and
world-view, although right and necessary for you individually, may
not be right for the other, and efforts at conversion on either side
will only spoil the attraction you feel toward each other.
A Display of Fireworks
The mutual excitement which you and Brad arouse in each other
is also full of friction, conflict and competitive feeling, and you will
probably both need to cultivate a taste for a good fight if you are to
make the best of your attraction to each other. The two of you carry
a very high voltage between you, and this is a great sexual stimulant;
but your direct and energetic approach to getting what you want
somehow grates against your partner's natural caution. Through no
fault of either of you, you are likely to find yourselves in combat
even if you want the same things, because you pursue them in
opposite ways. What you really have is a good old-fashioned battle
of wills, with each of you trying to assert your strength in the face of
the other's apparent aggression. You and Brad energise each other
very strongly, both sexually and in terms of your goals and
ambitions; but you are also likely to spend a lot of time expending
that energy locking horns. If you can avoid taking it all too personally, the two of you can learn a lot about tolerance; but somehow,
when you and your partner get around each other, your capacity to
remain calm and reflective tends to fly out of the window. If you
have had a problem with open conflict in the past, this relationship
can help you to appreciate the importance and positive value of
clearing the air from time to time, and can teach you not to be
frightened of healthy anger and competition. But you will need to
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learn to deal with powerful emotions in yourself and in your partner,
for if you bottle them up to avoid confrontation, you may find that
you begin to accumulate a deep well of resentment which, when it
finally does erupt, is much bigger and darker than whatever incident
might have triggered it.
4. Conflict and Challenge
In many respects, as the above analysis indicates, the ways in
which you and Brad affect each other are lively and positive. Even
when there is friction, it is likely to be stimulating rather than
oppressive. But there are deeper levels at work in every relationship, and the unconscious exchange between two people may be
quite different from what is experienced on the conscious level. It is
as though one drama is being enacted openly between you in the sitting room of the house, but an entirely different and more disturbing
one is taking place in the basement - and periodically some
sulphurous fumes may rise up the staircase to disturb the activity
above. The unconscious fears and defensive reactions which you
and your partner activate in each other may from time to time rise to
the surface of your life together, creating hurtful difficulties which
you may initially not understand. But if you are willing to explore
the motives and feelings at work beneath the threshold of your
everyday awareness, these conflicts can lead to great insight,
growth and compassion in both of you.
Mutual Therapy
Your partner's ability to contact a rich lode of imagination within
himself activates your admiration, but it also stirs up some very deep
anxieties in you. Brad seems to embody not only all that you respect
and value, but also all that you feel unable to express yourself; for he
is, albeit unwillingly, a catalyst for unconscious hurts and frustrations which spring from your childhood and which will very
likely arise in quite disturbing ways within this relationship. If you
are not honest with yourself about the challenge your partner poses
simply by being himself, and you are not able to face your vulnerability and need of him, you are likely to sometimes display a critical and defensive attitude, and may even cut off your feelings in an
abrupt and hurtful fashion.
Because a deeper level of interchange is invoked through your
attraction to each other, greater consciousness is required of you
both. Brad is probably quite sensitive to your fear of the physical
world, including your own body and self-image, and he is likely to
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feel strongly protective and loyal toward this hurt and awkward side
of you. But elements of inadvertent bruising are still likely to arise
between you. If you wish to avoid wounding and being wounded in
this relationship, both of you need to be open and honest about
yourselves. The healing which you seek from your partner can truly
be achieved, but the key lies in his being able to feel compassion for
your flaws as well as admiring your strengths; and for you to accept
this more realistic but also more enduring kind of love.
Tongue-Tied
You are as drawn to Brad for his qualities of mind as to his qualities of heart and body. But the communication between you is a
complex issue, because certain deeper and more unconscious feelings are stirred which can create problems in an otherwise fertile
dialogue. Although you have a profound admiration for your
partner's way of thinking and expressing himself, you also feel
somewhat intimidated or threatened by what you experience as his
superior mental abilities. His shrewd and realistic way of looking at
things, which allows him to cut through nonsense to the truth of the
matter, have, through no fault of his, triggered old hurts around
communication and learning which spring from your childhood, and
which may make you feel unconsciously awkward around him even
when there is no cause. But this activation of deeper issues may not
be evident to you; you may instead react to Brad with criticism,
silence, evasion, or a show of patronising indifference, so that he
winds up being the one who feels intellectually inferior in some
way. Your partner may also feel that you do not listen to him, or
that you disagree with him on principle without reflection. If the
two of you do not understand what has been set in motion between
you, you may sometimes find yourselves in some rather nasty and
wounding arguments. But this relationship can give you great insight into your own dilemma, and the more the two of you are able
to discuss these issues honestly, the more creative the outcome. And
you can offer Brad a stabilising and containing quality which can
help him to ground his ideas and put them to practical use.
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CHAPTER III
THE ESSENCE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP
1. Your Relationship as an Independent Entity
In alchemical symbolism, two substances combine to create a
third, new entity. The relationship which you and Brad create
together is a living thing, an independent entity in its own right. It
has an essential character or basic nature just as any living thing
does, and therefore its development process follows the integrity of
its own inner law - just as a tomato plant grows from a seed into
itself rather than an apple tree. This essential character might or
might not be what either you or your partner has in mind as an individual. Probably it is a little of both. And neither you nor Brad may
fully perceive the real essence of your relationship until sufficient
time has passed for you to experience on the emotional as well as
the intellectual level what you have created between you. Also, this
mysterious entity has an outer personality which expresses itself in
the world in very distinct ways which are different from your own
personalities; and it may surprise you when friends or relatives or
colleagues describe how they see you as a couple because you are
not aware of the outer shape of the life-form you and your partner
have created together.
Your relationship is the product of the mysterious chemical interaction that occurs between the two of you. Yet it is not wholly under
the control of either of you, and it is possible that, while you can
bring greater consciousness to the core issues expressed within the
relationship, you cannot ultimately turn it into exactly what you
want through any act of will. Once the ingredients for a cake are
chosen, mixed and baked, we must accept the nature of the thing we
have made. We can make certain alterations, like putting on a delicious frosting, and we can try to ensure that we have our cake at a
time when we are hungry and will appreciate its taste. But we
cannot unbake the ingredients and demand that they combine differently to get a different sort of cake. Once we create a relationship,
we must also accept and work with the thing we have made; for it is
the product of a combination of individuals, alchemically mixed,
cooked and brought to life.
The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of
The keynote of your relationship with Brad is enchantment. This
quality of dreamlike beauty and bewitchment embraces many
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dimensions of reality, from the erotic to the spiritual. And some
aspects of it can be inspiring and uplifting while others may be
painful, confusing and disappointing. Above all, enchantment implies a state which is above or beyond ordinary mundane reality - an
alternative world where feelings are heightened, events are infused
with hidden meaning, knights protect princesses from dragons, and
gods and heroes walk the earth. Here in this magical Paradise
Garden, protected from the intrusion of the banal, the loneliness of
human existence can be mitigated through a "true" union of souls.
Because of your dramatic self-sufficiency and your need to prove
that you can handle life's challenges alone, you may find your
relationship with Brad sometimes difficult and even a little threatening because of the loss of individual boundaries which you are at
times likely to experience. The romantic qualities inherent in the
relationship, and its almost mystical sense of merging, tend to slip
beneath your defences and penetrate your inner isolation and selfabsorption, making you more aware than you might like of your
need of and dependency upon others. Also, the adjustments and
sacrifices which the partnership might require are likely to make you
feel vaguely resentful at times, because you are strong-willed and
generally like to have things your own way. Yet if you allow this
relationship to work its subtle alchemy on you, you may discover
that it is actually alright to need another person, and that a shared
burden is not an insult to your strength.
The rather exalted emotional atmosphere of the relationship is
likely to stimulate a lot of idealism in both you and your partner, and
both of you may at times experience a sense that some "higher"
destiny was at work in bringing you together. There may also be a
strange sense of recognition between you, fostered by the sense of
fusion which the relationship generates, which may lead you to
believe that this is a bond which has endured through many lifetimes. Whether or not these feelings are "true" in any objective
sense (and no horoscope can answer that question), they are
certainly true on the psychological level as a reflection of the
relationship's emotional tone. This bond might well give you and
your partner a feeling of being lifted out of the usual limits and
difficulties of the world of money, security, domestic routines, and
social status. When you are together, these things may not seem to
matter any more. Others will also appreciate the creative spark and
intensity between you, because together you tend, consciously or
not, to project an image of style, grace and harmony which to some
people may seem the embodiment of the "ideal couple". Whatever
you might really be feeling, there is a romantic ambience about the
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surface style of this relationship which will make the two of you
dress and interact with others with qualities of harmony and good
taste. This is in many ways a true reflection of the more romantic
and idealistic elements within the relationship. The two of you are
also unlikely to air your feelings in public, regardless of how
combustible things might be between you at times; and this
enhances the elegant and courteous persona which this relationship
carries.
But this state of fusion which lies at the core of your relationship
may in part be illusory, because it requires the blurring or disregarding of your individual boundaries. Because the emotional energy of
this bond has a way of eroding your sense of separate reality, it may
also lead both of you into an unwitting abdication of personal
authority and responsibility within the relationship. There may be a
deep sadness inherent in the spell which the relationship casts over
you both, for there is always some sacrifice involved in enchantment
- whether this means giving up certain material rewards in order to
be together, or giving up the hope of a permanent relationship. The
heightened perceptions which the relationship is likely to stir in you
and your partner are impossible to preserve intact in a world bound
by time and human limits. Some compromise of the dream must
ultimately be made, and some acceptance of each other's flawed
humanity. Thus the enchantment of your bond opens up the gates of
a magical world, stirring the spirit and the creative imagination in
both of you, but at the same time containing within itself the inevitable seeds of disillusionment. This relationship is liable to activate
a very deep and perhaps previously unconscious need in both of you
to transcend the loneliness of mortal life and restore a lost state of
union which is really reminiscent of the pre-birth state. This longing
exists in all human beings, and in some way it is a very powerful
drive, stimulating the desire to find meaning beyond the ordinary
events of life. Perhaps you and Brad were not really aware of this
before you met. But something about this relationship activates it
powerfully in each of you.
If you perceive yourselves as soulmates, bound together through
many lifetimes or connected by some inner purpose, you may experience times of deep joy and peace with each other. But equally,
you may find it extremely difficult to shift gears and deal with
everyday limits and disappointments. There is a kind of addictive
quality to your bond, which may make you avoid or reject the natural process of getting to know one another as ordinary individuals,
and confronting each other about your differences and conflicts.
The enchantment of the relationship may cause you to stifle
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emotions such as anger or assertiveness, or may lead one or both of
you to sacrifice your own valid path in life in order to remain in this
soothing bath - even after the water has grown cold. And this movement toward the submergence of individual will and desire may be
so extreme that, in a subtle way, you and your partner actually avoid
any real commitment - either through some voluntary sacrifice or
through an external situation which may be unconsciously architected by one or both of you, and which seems to prevent you building a stable life together.
Caution, Turn On Fog Lamps
The greatest danger which you and your partner face in the midst
of all this beauty and enchantment is the tendency to indulge in selfdeception or deception of each other, because the ambience of the
relationship makes you try too hard to preserve the magic you have
experienced together. Self-deception in this instance means that you
may both easily repress or ignore your own very legitimate emotional needs, ideals, beliefs and goals, pretending that each of you
wants only what the other wants. If you lie to yourselves in this
way, you may stifle fundamental and healthy aspects of your own
natures, and these repressed drives will one day rise to the surface
and create great confusion and difficulty. Individuality and fusion
are indeed mutually exclusive; but it is possible to have a balance
between them. You may also deceive yourselves by ignoring qualities in each other's characters which seem to threaten the feeling of
two hearts beating as one. But if you remain willfully blind to the
truth of another's character, you do not allow the other person to
become real. This may generate deep resentment and anger between
you, because you are really asking each other to be some perfect image rather than an actual person. One or both of you could resort to
deception in order not to be a disappointment. This can mean
deception in small, unconscious, cumulative ways; or it may lead to
such big deceptions as secret relationships with others. One way or
another, you and your partner, if you do not keep your feet on the
ground while your heads are in the clouds, may build a relationship
rooted in illusion.
A Subtle Dialogue
There is another element inherent in your relationship - a powerful mental and communicative energy - which can provide a creative
and exciting balance to the enchantment you experience on the emotional level. This energy could bring greater clarity to both of you,
and may be a great help in dispelling the romantic fog into which
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you and your partner are likely to sometimes stumble. Because the
lively mental energy of the relationship stimulates both of you to
think more clearly and articulate your ideas and feelings to each other more honestly, you and Brad may find that you can develop some
genuine creative fields of endeavour together. You might, for example, become involved as a couple in writing or teaching projects, or
in media work of some kind. The relationship's emphasis on
communication and mental development can also help to offset the
evasion and blurring of boundaries which arise from the more
romantic feelings at work between you. The urge toward fusion
which permeates this bond can easily make both of you afraid to express yourselves if it shatters the spell; but because you are also
likely to need to communicate, you can find greater honesty and
directness with each other.
You may find that making a conscious effort to develop spheres
of shared interest, particularly around intellectual and cultural pursuits, helps to bring a breath of fresh air into the sometimes rather
foggy atmosphere engendered by the relationship. The more you
and your partner can develop your minds, and the more you are able
to exchange ideas with others through friendships and social and
humanitarian groups, the more objective your perspective on life
will be. The deep sense of union which this relationship carries
could be expressed very fruitfully in interests and individual contributions which connect you to a larger humanity.
There may always be a certain amount of conflict within this
relationship, arising from the gap between your fantasy of oneness
and your need to articulate your separate realities to each other.
Words and ideas may seem to threaten emotional union, and there is
a strong impetus in this bond to avoid too much clarity. Yet these
very different but equally valid energies within the relationship are
by no means mutually exclusive. You and Brad need to let words be
imaginative vehicles for your feelings, following the path of the
poet, the novelist and the dramatist, rather than assuming that too
much analysing or intellectualising will spoil the magic of your partnership. Your relationship with Brad contains a remarkable blend of
imaginative fantasy and a powerful drive to express the inner world
to the outer in some creative form.
---
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2. Your Relationship and Yourself
The following sections describe the effect of this relationship on
yourself. While the previous sections of text always spoke to both of
you, you and your partner, the focus here will be on your side.
A Stirring of the Heart and the Passions
Your relationship with Brad is likely to activate particular
aspects of your personality very strongly, and this includes first of
all a stirring of your emotional and instinctual nature. The ways in
which your passions, your needs and feelings, your sexual responses
and your inner sense of self-worth and lovability are aroused sometimes happily, sometimes through conflict - all contribute most
powerfully to the transformative effect the relationship has on you.
Coming Home
The expansive and innately generous qualities of this relationship
are, to put it simply, likely to make you feel good. You will probably feel contained and protected, and supported emotionally in
ways which you may not have experienced before. Whatever conflicts might arise on other levels (and there are bound to be some),
nevertheless it is as though you have "come home" in some way.
And you are likely to respond with an instinctive warmth and enthusiasm which can help you to face most of life's obstacles with optimism and a sense of humour. Even if you are in the midst of fullscale battles with your partner, you are still likely to retain your faith
in the relationship because the relationship helps you to have more
faith in yourself. And your capacity to express your feelings is
likely to be deepened and stretched by the relationship, so that, even
if you have been a more emotionally withdrawn person in the past,
you will be able to be more spontaneous and open with others, and
more able to take risks with confidence in your own future.
Love Hurts
The romantic and erotic dimensions of this relationship may well
bring you into confrontation with all that has been hurt within you
since early childhood. In this way your partnership with Brad has
the potential of helping you to heal many old wounds through the
love and affection generated between you. You may sometimes feel
awkward and threatened by the quality of affection and love which
you experience in the relationship, for you are probably accustomed
to defending yourself against too much closeness in certain ways.
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Sometimes it is more painful to feel loved than to feel unloved, for
this makes us face our own unlovingness, as well as hurts from the
past. But this relationship has a way of gently dissolving those
defences, and touching very deep levels of your heart through the
nature of the warmth and companionship made possible by the bond.
If you can avoid defensive maneuvres because it leaves you feeling
too vulnerable, you will discover a great deal about yourself, as well
as developing greater compassion for your own humanness.
Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say
The mental and communicative dimensions of your relationship
with Brad could stir very powerful emotions in you. You may be
surprised and not at all pleased at the depth and intensity of your
feelings, particularly if you have seen yourself as a rational and controlled sort of personality. More importantly, you may begin to gain
insights into yourself and life which begin to change your outlook
and attitudes at very deep levels. But you could also find yourself
prone to deep suspicion, jealousy, possessiveness and manipulative
behaviour -feelings which have perhaps not been part of your emotional pattern in the past, and which some elusive element in your
verbal exchange with your partner activates. This relationship
challenges you to understand yourself and your emotional nature in
greater depth, and also calls upon you to learn to communicate your
feelings in more honest and direct ways. This challenge could initially make you profoundly uneasy, as though you are never sure
whether what is being said between you and your partner is really
what is meant. If you can meet the challenge, however, you will
find that the mental rapport between you and Brad can achieve great
depth and insight, changing and deepening your own perceptions of
life, love and human behaviour.
A Spur to Creative Expression
Your relationship also serves as a catalyst for the development of
your talents, creative abilities, worldly goals and sense of individuality, although sometimes this personal growth may occur through
friction and challenge rather than harmony. However, even with a
certain amount of conflict, your partnership with Brad can offer you
many opportunities for growth, self-development and an enhancement of your capacity for worldly achievement, as well as a more
defined sense of who you really are.
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You Too Can Be a Stand-Up Comic
The expansiveness and dynamic energy inherent in this relationship trigger your need to expand your individual horizons, and you
will probably gradually become more and more aware of a sense of
unlived potentials in your life. Hence the relationship's effect on
you will in part be to invoke considerable restlessness, and a stirring
of your imagination and your belief in your own future possibilities.
It is important that you take these stirrings seriously, for one of the
most creative contributions your partnership with Brad can offer you
is an opening up of your creative potentials and an awakening of
your spiritual life. However, you must act on these intuitions if you
want your vision of the future to become a reality. There is also a
quality of humour and tolerance within this relationship which
activates your own sense of humour and ability to laugh at life; and
you may find that you feel more generous and more genuinely tolerant than you have been with others in the past.
Chariots of Fire
Your sense of potency and effectiveness in the world is likely to
be activated strongly by the inherent expansiveness and energy of
this relationship. Even if you have not been a very goal-orientated
person in the past, this partnership has a way of making you more
aware of what you want, as well as making you want it more
passionately; and there is a sense of future potentials within the
relationship which stimulates you to pursue all your own unlived
potential with greater courage and self-confidence than you might
have felt before. You may also discover a side of your personality
with which you might not have been too well-acquainted: a powerful will which does not compromise readily, and a temper to match
when your will is thwarted. You are likely to become an altogether
stronger, more honest and more direct person through the effect the
relationship has on you; and you may also feel that this bond brings
you luck in some way, because of your increased sense of selfesteem and your enhanced feeling of being in charge of your own
life.
Waking Up the Mind and Spirit
Your relationship also exercises a powerful effect on your mental
outlook, your spiritual beliefs, and your general attitude toward life,
subtly challenging and changing your thinking and your capacity to
express yourself. Although some of this stirring of your mind and
spirit may occur through a collision of disparate viewpoints, never-
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theless this partnership can open many doors for you, broadening
your mental horizons and freeing you from old and outworn
attitudes and viewpoints.
How to Be a Rent-an-Argument Service
You will probably be highly energised by the mental dimension
of the relationship, although this energising may have the effect of
making you behave like a "rent-an-argument" service at the same
time that it stimulates your ideas and expressive capacities. Somehow the dialogue which is fostered between you and your partner
activates your awareness of your own individual will and viewpoint,
and in this way it has a very positive capacity to help you define
your own identity as well as formulating your goals and objectives
in life more clearly. But of course the more conscious you become
of your individual right to think your own thoughts and pursue your
own goals, the more likely you are to collide with your partner at
times; hence the propensity for arguments which may arise, largely
initiated by you. However, this does not have to be a bad thing; for
if you can learn to turn argument into discussion and debate rather
than blind verbal bashing, you will discover greater ability to go for
what you want in life, and to express yourself more honestly to
others.
---
3. Your Relationship and Your Partner
The following sections of text describe the effect of this relationship on Brad.
Your Partner's Heart is Also Stirred
Your relationship also has a powerful effect on particular aspects
of your partner's passions, feelings and emotional needs; and this
means that he, like you, is liable to experience a definite enriching
and deepening of his heart and instinctual nature - even if this sometimes occurs through conflict and upset.
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Muscle Power
The image this relationship carries in the eyes of others, and its
general style and energy, could be tremendously exciting to your
partner, and he may find himself greatly aroused by it - sexually and
creatively. The partnership also constellates in him a strong desire
to work for and put energy into the development of the bond, and it
may well have been his initiative which brought it into being in the
first place. Brad may sometimes feel as though it is his passion and
enthusiasm which keep it alive, but it brings him to life as well - and
he is likely to become better at making decisions and taking charge
of his own life as a result. Whatever conflicts might arise between
the two of you, the entity which you create in the world as a couple
has a positive and energising effect on your partner, making him
more aware of his own potency and generating within him the courage to meet whatever challenges life brings.
Home Comforts
The loving and physically affectionate qualities of this relationship have a powerfully positive effect on your partner's feelings,
offering him a sense of security, contentment and personal happiness. He is likely to feel "at home" in this partnership, despite whatever conflicts the two of you might experience; and his sense of selfworth and belief in his own lovability are likely to be greatly
enhanced by the genuine warmth and validation he experiences
through the relationship. His need to be loved and to belong are
strongly activated, and it is likely that he will have both in this partnership; and the deep contentment which he will probably feel is one
of the most positive offerings of the bond.
Feeling loved
The particular romantic qualities of the relationship reflect in an
especially harmonious way your partner's own ideals of love and
romance. Because there is a kind of "match" between certain
aspects of the relationship and his own very personal needs, he is
likely to feel more loved, wanted, desired and personally fulfilled
than he has in the past; and his sense of being an attractive, worthwhile and lovable person is likely to be strengthened considerably.
Even if deeper conflicts disturb the emotional flow between the two
of you at times, the relationship's capacity to activate your partner's
ability to give and receive love can help to give him the confidence,
tact and sensitivity to cope with whatever difficulties might arise.
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Your Partner's Mind and Spirit Come Alive
The relationship also affects your partner's mental outlook and
world-view, just as it does your own; and because of the way in
which the partnership activates particular aspects of his mind and
spirit, he could experience a definite broadening of his mental horizons and vision.
Strawberry Fields
Your partner's thinking is likely to be expanded and stimulated
by the imaginative and expansive qualities of this relationship, and
he will probably find that he is able to maintain a broader perspective on life and to express his ideas more fluently. In short, this partnership is good for his mind and his powers of communication. The
sense of meaning, excitement and future potentials inherent in the
relationship stimulates his own creative imagination. He may feel
that the partnership opens his horizons physically as well as
mentally, drawing him into an exploration of many new ideas and
places. There may also be some very practical benefits to all this
mental inspiration as well; for Brad is likely to feel supported by the
relationship in developing his skills and talents. If he is involved in
communication in any professional way (such as writing or teaching), the relationship can provide enormous benefits to him, for
somehow it has a way of stimulating in him some very exciting
ideas for future creative expression.
Learning to Laugh
This relationship could prove very inspiring to Brad, mentally
and spiritually, because of the quality of communication inherent in
it. His imagination and sense of future potentials are likely to be
activated by the mental rapport he experiences, and his horizons both mental and physical - are likely to broaden. His sense of
humour is also constellated, and even if deeper emotional difficulties
arise between the two of you, somehow this relationship encourages
your partner to see the funnier side of even the darkest dilemmas.
Even if he has inclined toward a more prosaic and earthbound view
of life in the past, this relationship has the power to stir within him a
powerful optimism about the future and an increased faith in his
own unlived potentials and possibilities.
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The Deeper Effects on Your Partner's Inner World
Your partner is also liable to be deeply stirred by the transformative effects of the relationship, and he may, like you, find such
activation of unconscious issues sometimes highly uncomfortable.
But this relationship offers a potential for profound healing and
change in Brad as well as in you, provided he can meet the challenge with an awareness of the importance of your bond.
Inner Renewal
The power of this relationship, and its impact on your partner's
deeper emotions, may sometimes alarm him, for it may provoke
deep and permanent changes in him. He may sometimes feel as
though he has been "taken over" by the energy of the relationship, as
though some fate were at work in his life; and he may become rather
obsessed with its importance to him. He may also have to encounter
some quite primitive and destructive feelings within himself, for if
he starts to feel controlled he is liable to react by trying to gain control over the relationship and you as well; and he could experience
considerable rage if things do not go his way. Your partner could
also use manipulative emotional methods to reestablish a sense of
power within the relationship. And he may even react by trying to
extricate himself from it because the relationship is likely to bring
profound alterations to his life, external and internal. But if he does
find himself experiencing these difficult reactions, he still has a
choice in the matter, and could refrain from engaging in the sort of
power-battles which would eventually alienate him from you; and he
will find that he gains much greater insight into his own depths.
This self-knowledge could transform his goals and attitudes toward
life.
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CHAPTER IV
DEEPER ISSUES ACTIVATED INSIDE
1. Basic Relationship Patterns within You
The transformative potential of your relationship with Brad may
be greater than you realise. Every important human bond activates
many levels of the personality, and some of these levels are unconscious and unrecognised. All of us bring our own inner issues and
preconceptions into a relationship with another person. A relationship involves not only the chemistry between the two personalities,
but also our unconscious images of what it is to be a man or woman.
These inner images are partly shaped by our experiences of the first
man and woman we meet in life - father and mother. But perhaps
more importantly, they also reflect profound hidden truths about our
own essential characters. The less aware we are of these deeper
aspects of ourselves, the more likely we are to enact and project
them blindly - and sometimes destructively - in our relationships.
The inner images of man and woman which we all carry are really
pictures of our own needs, expectations and potentials. They may
be coloured or even distorted by childhood experiences, but
fundamentally they belong to us as individuals. They have both positive and negative features, and we have the freedom to express
both. Because people are by nature complex and multifaceted, we
have more than one of these inner pictures of masculine and
feminine within us. And each deep relationship we encounter in life
could activate a quite different aspect of our inner world, presenting
us with very different challenges and bringing very different responses out of us.
The relationship which you and Brad have created, because it is
an independent living thing, will have an effect on the inner world of
both you and your partner, triggering unconscious images of masculine and feminine in ways which you may not always be aware of. It
is as though the two of you are living with a third person who exercises a subtle but powerful influence on how you feel and behave
when you are together. This is the real alchemical work of the
relationship, for both of you will be changed by the energies which
have arisen between you. Some of its effects might feel very positive,
and others might be extremely disturbing. Most human interaction
involves a mixture of both. It is likely that sooner or later this
relationship will stir up old childhood patterns and feelings, because
the inner images of masculine and feminine which you and Brad
bring into the relationship are coloured by the past. This gives you
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both a chance to discover untapped potentials in yourselves, as well
as facing and healing hurts and wounds from early life. You and
your partner could respond to the activation of your inner world in a
creative and productive way, using what you learn about yourselves
to make important changes in your attitudes and manner of self-expression. Or you could blame everyone and everything in sight for
your discomfort, and make a general mess out of things if you so
choose. You and your partner may not be able to unbake the cake
you have made. But you have a great deal of choice in terms of how
you deal with what this relationship activates within you.
The Double-Edged Gift of Self-Sacrifice
However you may consciously define what it means to be a
woman, there is an image within you of woman as compassionate
redeemer, and sometimes as victim. This image is strongly activated
in you through your relationship with Brad. It is best portrayed by
the Christian figure of Mary, the Mater Dolorosa who weeps for the
sins and suffering of humankind. But the image of woman as redeemer and victim is really much older than the Christian one. Its
roots lie in the ancient oceanic mother-goddesses such as the Babylonian Tiamat, who create the universe and are then dismembered
by the hero-gods. These goddesses are terrifying as well as lifeengendering, for they also swallow up their creations and start all
over again. The most positive attribute of this inner figure is a deep
sensitivity to human suffering, and a compassionate response to
others' needs. These gifts of the heart form part of your essential
character. Even if you are not really conscious of this dimension of
your femininity, nevertheless others are probably aware of it because
they are the beneficiaries. The dark side of this image, however, is
reflected by the devouring propensities of the mother-goddesses of
ancient myth. The close emotional identification which you feel
toward other people also means that you may have difficulty in
establishing your own boundaries and containing your own emotional needs. It is possible that you saw an example of the more
difficult face of this archetypal image enacted by your mother during
your childhood, and have recoiled against this aspect of your own
character as a result. But if you are able to separate your early and
perhaps negative experiences from the true meaning and potential of
this inner figure, the great depth, insight and compassion inherent in
your personality can be expressed without the victimisation and
martyrdom that so often accompanies these gifts.
The conflict between openness to others and firm personal
boundaries is a difficult one, and you will need at some point in your
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life to confront this issue honestly if you are to live your inner image
of woman in a creative and personally fulfilling way. Probably your
mother had few boundaries and great emotional needs, and her
dependency on others may have put her into situations where she
suffered without having the power to take charge of her own life.
You might also have experienced her suffering as somewhat manipulative, and may also have perceived her sacrifices as bearing very
high price tags in terms of what she required in return. There might
indeed have been a good deal of unconscious manipulation in her
behaviour and situation. You seem to carry a certain amount of guilt
and a deep sense of obligation toward her which you unconsciously
express in your relationship with Brad as well as with others who
need you. However independent you may appear on the surface, it
is often difficult for you to say "No" to others' demands because you
fear the separateness and isolation this might bring you. But if you
placate your partner or martyr yourself because of a fear of loneliness, you will also accumulate a large reservoir of resentment and
bitterness which will in turn make you unconsciously manipulative
in the same way your mother might have been. Your compassionate
response and empathy with others' pain are very real and beautiful
attributes of your character. But they may be mixed up with guilt
about what you felt you owed to a suffering parent in childhood. If
you believe you are only lovable and worthwhile when you are
needed and useful, you could also inadvertently try to live for and
through your partner, thus compensating for your own lack of a
firm, coherent identity.
You may have sensed a deeply wounded quality in your mother.
Because of your innate sensitivity, as a child you probably unconsciously assumed the role of her redeemer or healer - even if you
were unaware of accepting such a responsibility, and even if on the
conscious level you found her behaviour difficult and hurtful. You
are deeply compassionate toward the wounds in others and probably
feel most fulfilled and happy when you are offering help and support. This may be an important and positive aspect of the way in
which you relate to Brad, as well as a potential path for your working life. But you may also identify too closely with this role, and
may secretly experience yourself as someone irreparably wounded
and intrinsically unlovable unless you can earn others' love by giving them the help they need. There may be some tangled issues
around wounding and healing from your childhood which need to be
explored with insight and compassion. Your natural attraction to the
role of the healer is also accompanied on the dark side by a sense of
yourself as the wounded one. If you are to avoid bringing these
patterns into your relationship and martyring yourself through your
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belief that you must earn love through self-sacrifice, you may need
to work toward experiencing yourself as worthwhile and lovable in
your own right.
Emotional security and a feeling of belonging are deeply important to you - perhaps more than you allow others or even yourself
to recognise. The sensitive response you have to others' needs reflects your need of them as well. It is likely that you experienced a
darker version of this kind of emotional need through your early
relationship with your mother. She might have tried to live through
you, and you may have experienced a deep albeit unconscious identification with her unhappiness and unlived life. Issues of dependency are therefore likely to arise in your relationship with Brad,
because you are at the same time both deeply dependent and
frightened of dependency - your own as well as your partner's. Your
strong need to belong may conflict with other, more independent
qualities in your character, and you may have had a hard time freeing yourself from your bonds to your mother because of your emotional loyalty to her. There is a deeply maternal element in your nature which finds it difficult not to be needed all the time. Thus you
may find it hard to let go of your partner and give him the necessary
independent breathing space. If you saw too much of this kind of
dependency in your mother, you may recoil against it in yourself.
But then it will express itself in covert rather than straightforward
ways. It may be important for you to explore issues around your
true emotional requirements and nature, so that you can separate
your perfectly healthy and legitimate need to belong from the darker
forms of dependency and emotional blackmail which you may have
experienced early in your life.
There are qualities of emotional intensity and depth which also
belong to your inner image of woman. On the positive side this
gives you an almost uncanny insight into the hidden aspects of
others' feelings and characters. You possess great strength of feeling
and also the ability to penetrate into and accept even the darkest
dimensions of human nature. But you may also have experienced a
more difficult side of this emotional depth and intensity in your
childhood, for it is likely that your mother also possessed considerable passion and emotional power - even if she concealed it beneath
a controlled exterior - and found it difficult to allow others much
emotional freedom because of the intensity of her attachment. You
may have encountered a good deal of possessiveness in childhood,
expressed through atmosphere rather than through actual words or
demands, and you may therefore not really recognise the dynamic.
But you are quite capable of generating some pretty powerful atmos-
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pheres yourself if you feel hurt by your partner's neglect, whether
you are conscious of it or not. You may have dissociated from this
side of your own nature because you have instinctively recoiled
from the example set in your childhood. But the compassion and
sensitivity inherent in your inner image of woman is accompanied
by a passion and intensity which mean you do not take emotional
bonds lightly. Issues of jealousy and possessiveness are therefore
likely to arise between you and your partner, whether you express
these feelings yourself or draw them out of your partner through
your own unconscious provocation.
A Reluctant Martyrdom
Despite your great compassion and willingness to put others first,
there is also a willful and uncompromising quality in your nature
which resents such self-sacrifice. This more forceful quality may
cause you to accumulate quite a large backlog of resentment and
suppressed anger if your will is thwarted or you must compromise
your desires. In fact there seems to be quite a conflict in you
between asserting your own will and accommodating the needs of
your partner. You may need to explore the possibility that your
anger - and any annoying physical symptoms such as headaches or
digestive troubles, which so often express covert anger - are the result of too much placating and a loss of your personal boundaries in
your relationship. It is likely that your mother suffered from a similar conflict, and you may have sensed great rage in her beneath an
apparent self-sacrificing surface. Or perhaps her anger erupted at
inappropriate times and in disturbing ways because she secretly felt
trapped by her neediness and fought violently against it. Whatever
the outer pattern, it is probable that you are faced with the same
challenge she was. You need to find your own individual way of
balancing your natural empathy and need of people with your
strongly independent and self-willed nature. If you feel passive and
victimised in your relationship, it may be because you do not assert
yourself in an open way when you need to. And if you play the role
of the martyr, your anger will inevitably rise to the surface in some
unconscious, unpleasant and even unmanageable form.
At the core of your inner life the image of woman as compassionate healer stands as the foundation of your emotional world
within this relationship. You can live this figure at the same time
that you develop other aspects of your personality, for these qualities
are not mutually exclusive with a full and independent creative life.
But it is likely that you will need to explore your more negative unconscious assumptions about this archetypal facet of the feminine.
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It seems that some element of sacrifice or suffering which you perceived in your mother's life has driven you into believing that you
cannot have a close and emotionally fulfilling relationship with your
partner while at the same time maintaining healthy boundaries and
your own psychological and material self-sufficiency. The dark side
of your inner image of woman is the passive victim and martyr,
where sacrifice may also be a kind of manipulative tool to generate
guilt and a sense of obligation in others. It is likely that you saw
quite a lot of this darker side acted out in childhood. If this was so,
try not to let it drive you away from your own emotional needs. For
in your efforts not to be a victim you may inadvertently dissociate
from the voice of your own heart and wind up victimised anyway not by your partner, but by your own internal conflict. The mythic
figures who personify this subtle but powerful face of the feminine
are hardly victims. They are usually omnipotent goddesses who
create the manifest universe. When you have discovered the great
strength that lies in your vulnerability and need of others, you will
have found the key to the most creative expression of this inner
woman.
2. Basic Relationship Patterns within Your Partner
Brad also has within him images and patterns of response which
are activated by the relationship. Thus your partner is also receptive to the transformative potential of the bond; and even if this
sometimes involves conflict and uncomfortable self-confrontation,
he could experience deep and positive changes as a result.
The Eternal Youth Within
Whatever your partner may consciously define as "masculine",
there is an image within him of man as eternal youth and free spirit,
the special and favoured child of the gods. His relationship with you
brings this image alive in a very powerful way. In mythology, it is
best portrayed by the trickster-god Hermes, who presided over the
traveller and the wanderer, and served as the messenger between
heaven and earth. Although this volatile and youthful image may
not accord with more "macho" or conventionally patriarchal images
of masculinity, it is an ancient and archetypal portrayal of one of the
faces of manhood; and it is part of the fabric of your partner's inner
world - whether he is aware of it or not. The most creative face of
this inner figure is his spirit of adventure, his clever, inspired and
endlessly fertile mind, and his ability to find life perennially interesting and full of possibilities regardless of age or circumstances.
syn as6212.502-5
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for Angelina Jolie
with Brad Pitt
by Liz Greene
There is also great elusiveness and mischief in your partner's
youthful inner image of manhood, and he probably carries a strong
sense, albeit unconscious, that he ought to be exempt from the moral
limits and material burdens of more ordinary folk. Because he feels
he is special, he may resent not only the obligations and restrictions
which any committed relationship incurs, but even basic human rites
of passage, such as ageing, or taking responsibility for the consequences of his choices in life. Even if he is unaware of such feelings, he has a tendency to keep trying to escape from the dreariness
of ordinary life through various means - the grand drama of secret
love-affairs, the excitement of travel, the glamour of fame, the
challenge of dangerous sports, or simply a fantasy-world of his own
creation in which the present (including this relationship) is really
provisional and "real life" always lies somewhere in the future. The
deeper issue underlying such escapist tendencies is in fact a
profound resentment at having to be mortal, for the mythic Eternal
Youth is the child of the gods. In fact Brad is special - although this
does not mean better than other people - because he possesses a rich
and fertile imagination, a generous heart and an irrepressible spirit
of fun and adventure. But a contributing factor to his inability to
find the best expression for this inner image may also be that in
childhood he saw his father trapped and resentful at his own life
passing by.
The archetypal image of Hermes, eternal youth and lord of travellers and wanderers, lies deep in the fabric of your partner's inner life,
and strongly colours the kind of man he is - both in his relationship
with you and in his dealings with the outer world. This is an enormously creative spirit, which can infuse his life with vision, enthusiasm and unquenchable hope - despite the fact that he may not be
altogether suited to the more restrictive aspects of traditional family
life. Although he needs a certain amount of responsibility and
structure to give this inner spirit shape and grounding, he also needs
to listen to it when it demands air to breathe. For if he can provide
channels - in the relationship, in his work and in his leisure activities
- which give that inner spirit plenty of scope to dream and fly, Brad
will find that it does not topple the stable structures he has built. If
he denies his own self, this trickster-spirit will either bring the
edifice down through your partner's own unconscious actions, or
make its frustration known through depression and psychosomatic
symptoms. If your partner does not balance this inner spirit with a
little worldly realism and discipline, it will keep him living a provisional life with no substance and no real productivity, forever chasing the "one day" which never comes. But if he can contain the spirit of Hermes without crushing it, he can have it all.
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by Liz Greene
CHAPTER V
CONCLUSION
It has been suggested by various psychological investigators as
well as dramatists, poets and novelists over the ages, that without
relationship we would never become conscious of ourselves. It takes
another person to reflect back to us, as in a mirror, who we really
are, whether this is on the most superficial level of public image or
the most profound level of essential identity. Plato once wrote that
we see in the face of the beloved a glimpse of the god who presides
over our own soul; and it might also be added that we see a glimpse
of our personal devils there as well. No astrological chart, whether
interpreted through the skills of an individual astrologer or the more
limited capacities of a computer, can tell us whether we should or
should not be involved with a particular person; nor can it tell us
whether the relationship is "good" or "bad", or whether it will
endure. Ultimately, human choice, human creativity and human
compulsion always upset the most careful of psychological and
astrological predictions. But insight into why we are drawn to another person, what we create with that person, and how we are
changed by it can give us tools for greater choice and creativity, and
fewer compulsions. If a relationship has depth and the power to
transform, it will inevitably, at some point, cause us pain - especially
the pain of leaving an old and outworn self behind. If we are able to
recognise that the only time we truly get to enjoy two hearts beating
as one is in the womb, then we can approach our relationships with
realism as well as idealism. The medieval alchemists knew that the
gold they sought was human gold, not metal; and if we can rediscover some of that vision, then we are better equipped to perform
the great and mysterious alchemical work of loving another individual.
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for Angelina Jolie
with Brad Pitt
by Liz Greene
APPENDIX
The Perspective of the Relationship Horoscope
In developing the Relationship Horoscope, Liz Greene began with her professional experience of clients wishing to gain astrological insight into their
personal relationships. These clients most often have been in a relationship
for a period of time, perhaps one or two years if not more, and the romantic
and blissful beginnings have moved into a deeper and more realistic interchange. The darker aspects of both personalities have by this time been revealed, and problems and conflicts have come to the surface - usually resulting in a desire to understand more about the dynamics at work.
Both partners may not express the same interest in an astrological analysis
of their relationship. One may even be quite skeptical of astrology. But
very clearly, one partner is interested - and in this case it is you. You might
come alone for an astrological consultation to discuss your relationship with
Brad. The Relationship Horoscope is written with this scenario in mind: It
addresses you as the one who has requested the analysis, and it refers to
Brad as a third party, as "your partner". Thus the Relationship Horoscope
does not speak to both partners, but to only one. The contents, however,
refer to both partners in a symmetrical fashion.
If you want to share your Relationship Horoscope with Brad, you might
suggest that he bears this in mind while reading, rethinking the text accordingly. However, if this seems inappropriate for you and your partner, you
are free to order a second copy with the text reversed so that it addresses
Brad, referring to you in turn as "your partner".
To order a reverse Relationship Horoscope with the text addressed to Brad,
please write an e-mail to [email protected] and note the order code TPRE as
well as the complete number of your present Relationship Horoscope. You
will find this number at the bottom of the title window and at the bottom
left of each page.
This second report is available at a dramatically reduced price (this may
depend on the country from which you order).
Astrological Technique
To create the Relationship Horoscope, three astrological charts are examined - the natal chart of both partners and the composite chart calculated
according to the midpoint method. For the compilation of the interpretation
text, the following main astrological factors are taken into account: crossaspects between the two natal charts, dominant themes in the composite
chart, aspects between the composite chart and the two natal charts, and
certain themes in the two natal charts which are triggered by either the
partner's chart or the composite chart.
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by Liz Greene
Further Reading
The Relationship Horoscope touches upon many elements in both natal
charts, but particularly focusses on those relevant to relationship patterns
and themes. Having read the present horoscope, you or your partner may
be interested in a broader analysis of your own personality beyond the
relationship perspective. In this case we would like to recommend the
PSYCHOLOGICAL HOROSCOPE
by Liz Greene (also available from us).
Recommended astrological reading referring to relationship themes:
"Astrology for Lovers" by Liz Greene: An amusing but profound view of
the zodiacal signs regarding their characteristic behaviour in relationships.
"Relating" by Liz Greene: An insightful approach to relationships which
synthesises astrology and depth psychology.
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ASTROLOGICAL DATA USED FOR THE RELATIONSHIP HOROSCOPE
for Angelina Jolie (female)
birthdate 4 June 1975
in Los Angeles, CA (US)
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
L
N
Sun
Gemini
Moon
Mercury
Venus
Mars
Jupiter
Saturn
Uranus
Neptune
Pluto
True Node
Chiron
Aries
Gemini
Cancer
Aries
Aries
Cancer
Libra
Sagittarius
Libra
Sagittarius
Aries
local time: 9:09 am
Lon: 118w15 Lat: 34n03
13c25'20
13a05'04
22c19'40
28d09'20
10a42'26
17a25'28
17d23'13
28g47'59
10i20'24
6g31'24
0i53'20
26a46'09
and Brad Pitt (male)
birthdate 18 Dec. 1963
in Shawnee, OK (US)
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
L
N
in house 11
in house 9
in house 11
in house 12
in house 9
in house 9
in house 12
in house 4
in house 5
in house 3
in house 5
in house 10
U.T.:
sid. time:
Ascendant
Cancer
2nd House
3rd House
Imum Coeli
5th House
6th House
Descendant
8th House
9th House
Medium Coeli
11th House
12th House
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
Aries
Taurus
Gemini
local time: 6:31 am
Lon: 96w56 Lat: 35n20
U.T.:
sid. time:
16:09
01:05:55
28d53'13
20e49'20
16f36'12
17g52'12
23h14'57
28i00'28
28j53'13
20k49'20
16l36'12
17a52'12
23b14'57
28c00'28
12:31
11:48:52
Sun
Sagittarius 25i51'43 in house 1
Ascendant
Sagittarius 11i53'41
Moon
Mercury
Venus
Mars
Jupiter
Saturn
Uranus
Neptune
Pluto
True Node
Chiron
Capricorn
Capricorn
Capricorn
Capricorn
Aries
Aquarius
Virgo
Scorpio
Virgo
Cancer
Pisces
2nd House
3rd House
Imum Coeli
5th House
6th House
Descendant
8th House
9th House
Medium Coeli
11th House
12th House
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
22j49'54
16j06'33
23j28'12
10j01'36
9a50'03
19k08'38
10f04'06
16h48'10
14f13'41
11d09'50
10l34'42
in house 2
in house 2
in house 2
in house 1
in house 4
in house 2
in house 9
in house 11
in house 9
in house 7
in house 3
14j30'07
21k20'32
26l58'05
26a40'55
20b47'56
11c53'41
14d30'07
21e20'32
26f58'05
26g40'55
20h47'56
Joint Composite Horoscope (house system Placidus, midpoint method)
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
L
N
Sun
Pisces
Moon
Mercury
Venus
Mars
Jupiter
Saturn
Uranus
Neptune
Pluto
True Node
Chiron
Pisces
Aries
Libra
Aquarius
Aries
Taurus
Libra
Scorpio
Virgo
Virgo
Aries
syn as6212.502-5
19l38'31
2l57'29
4a13'07
25g48'46
25k22'01
13a37'45
3b15'56
4g26'03
28h34'17
25f22'33
21f01'35
3a40'25
in house 6
in house 5
in house 6
in house 1
in house 5
in house 7
in house 8
in house 12
in house 2
in house 12
in house 12
in house 6
Ascendant
Libra
2nd House
3rd House
Imum Coeli
5th House
6th House
Descendant
8th House
9th House
Medium Coeli
11th House
12th House
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
5g23'27
2h39'43
3i58'22
7j25'08
9k57'56
9l24'12
5a23'27
2b39'43
3c58'22
7d25'08
9e57'56
9f24'12
37

relationship horoscope

Transcription

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