How to Talk to Kids about Sex

How to Talk to Kids about Sex
By MyQTBB
Table of Contents
1. Introduction
2. When is the Best Time to Talk about Sex to Your Kids?
3. What are the Values that Need to be Instilled to Kids
about Sex?
4. Appropriate Topics about Sex According to Their Ages
5. Conclusion
Introduction
Discussing sex with your children is a subject
that many people feel uncomfortable with.
The single most important thing when talking to
your kids about sex is to make it a positive and
joyful subject and at the same time link it to
loyalty, family, love and commitment.
Sometimes parents hesitate to talk to their kids
about sex, believing that it will encourage them
to have sex at an earlier age. This is actually
not true. Kids will hear about sex from the
media, in the playground, on the bus, and from
their peers. It is all around us, so it is better for
them to know the facts from you along with
your family values to guide them in the right
direction.
When is the Best Time
to Talk about Sex to Your Kids?
Begin early. Sometimes, talking about sex is
awkward because it has never been discussed
to them before. When you start early to discuss
this topic with your young children, you can
impart your family values and create
benchmarks before other people have the
chance to influence them.
You can start teaching them as early as
toddler stage. For that age, teach them the
proper names of their body parts. Yes, that
means calling a penis "a penis" and a vagina "a
vagina". In this way, we are not giving them the
notion that their body parts are something to be
shameful or to be embarrassed about.
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When a young child asks, "Where do babies
come from?" Depending on their age, you could
just simply say that a baby grows from a tiny little
egg inside mummy's tummy and comes out of
her vagina. If they want to know more, it might
not yet be advisable to go down the love making
path yet as it is too early. Explain that when a
man and woman love each other, they like to
be close. The man's sperm joins the woman's
egg and a baby starts to grow.
Most kids under the age of about six will accept
this information as enough to absorb for now. If
they still persist, you may get some
age-appropriate books that can demonstrate
with simple illustrations to satisfy their curiosity.
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What are the Values that Need
to be Instilled to Kids about Sex?
Talk about the emotional aspect and
responsibilities of sex. The facts about sex
are important, and also the reasons why people
have sex. Be sure to include in your discussions
that sexual relationships involve a deep level of
maturity, care, concern and responsibility. Your
own religious beliefs and moral values will also
have a great impact on how you talk about sex
with your child.
Signify this positive approach with words like
"beautiful" and "special". Kids who visualize
sex with these emotions, linked to such values,
may appreciate the true meaning behind sex.
After all, we do want our kids to one day have a
happy family of their own.
Appropriate Topics about
Sex According to Their Ages
As a parent, you need to judge how much
information you wish to disclose to your kids,
depending on their ages. Keep in mind, if they
do ask you a question out of the blue, it is highly
likely they have seen or heard some kind of
information at school or somewhere else and
have come to you for clarification.
Embrace this and tell them what they are
requesting. Use accurate language like
vagina, penis, testicles and breasts. Don't
circle around a point as they will become
confused, lose interest and seek information
elsewhere. So get to the point and use your wise
judgement as to the degree of details you need
to give.
Tips For Talking With 2 - 6 Year Olds
At the age of 2-3, kids have already developed
an understanding of the proper names of their
private parts. You might as well make sure that
they learn the different private parts that each
gender has, such as a boy has a penis and a girl
has a vagina. Encourage your kids to feel
good about themselves and their bodies. A
healthy attitude about sex develops with how
they feel about their body.
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illustrations (like above) to
explain about sex to your
little one? Get it here.
If a 4 or 5-year-old child asks you where do
babies come from, tell them "When two people
love each other very much, they become a
mommy and a daddy and want to make their
family bigger so they make a baby. A baby
signifies their special love to each other". See if
that satisfies their curiosity.
Tips For Talking With 2 - 6 Year Olds
You may need to give a few more details if
requested. A slightly scientific explanation can
also be “a tiny cell from daddy swims to mommy
to form an egg, and mommy has to carry and
take care of the egg until it grows and becomes
a baby.”
Need book with more
illustrations (like above) to
explain about sex to your
little one? Get it here.
Tips For Talking With 7 - 9 Year Olds
Around the age of seven years old is a great
time to start a more detailed conversation
about sex. Most kids at this age are innocent,
curious and more open about their world. They
haven't yet really learnt to be embarrassed about
this topic, but their curiosity grows about such
topics. As such, you can now give them a simple
picture of sex by saying that the male body fits in
the female body like puzzle pieces, and God
made it this way so two people can create an
amazing result of their love for each other, which
is a baby.
Need book with more
illustrations (like above) to
explain about sex to your
child? Get it here.
Whenever your child asks you something, or you
decide to initiate a discussion, try to have it when
you're both in a comfortable and familiar place,
which is free from interruptions or distractions.
Tips For Talking With 7 - 9 Year Olds
Ensure that both of you are fine with the
ambiance and not feeling anything off. It is
fantastic if both parents can be involved in the
discussion, as you don't want sex to be a taboo
subject. It also gives the child the impression
that both parents are approachable to talk about
sex at any time.
Need book with more
illustrations (like above) to
explain about sex to your
child? Get it here.
Once you have had a good talk with your kids,
you can expect them to come back to you
numerous times with more questions. In your
discussions, teach them that there is a time and
place for talking about sex. It is not a secret or
anything to be ashamed of, however it is a
private and special connection between
people.
Tips For Talking With 10 - 13 Year Olds
At this age, kids are usually very interested and
intrigued to have a conversation about sex and
physical development. As they are maturing
during these years, they will feel grown up to be
having these chats with you. They may have
been talking with their friends about such topics.
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At this stage, you need to observe them
carefully and establish a more open
communication. One of the most important
lessons that you need to teach them at these
ages is the fact that sex needs consent from
both individuals. Teaching your kids what to do
at these ages allows you to save time discussing
the topic when they're older and possibly more
inclined to avoid the conversation, which they
may already find awkward.
Tips For Talking With 10 - 13 Year Olds
Initiate follow-up discussions by making
conversation about what they have seen or
heard. For an instance, you may ask if they
enjoyed the movie, if they think that the two
characters did the right thing regarding making
love, etc. You must also try your best to catch up
with what new things they may have learned
about such sensitive issues. However, do this in
a natural way and not in a snoopy or
detective-kind of way.
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illustrations to explain about
sex to your elder child?
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This is a crucial age to talk about puberty and
physical development before they actually
experience them. This will ease their confusion,
anxiety and fear when such changes occur. Use
the opportunity to also talk about sex.
Conclusion
Talking to your kids about sex, development and
relationships can be really enjoyable and the
rewards are endless. There may be a little
discomfort at first, but the lessons about sex are
really necessary for them to grow into
knowledgeable and responsible adults. Once
you get started, the results are definitely worth it
and your kids will eventually feel grateful for
giving them the opportunity to learn these things
at their young age.
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losing control.
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