In memory of Kelsey Brennan Tyrel John Berg

Transcription

In memory of Kelsey Brennan Tyrel John Berg
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Website: www.tcfbillings.org
Regional Coordinator: Arlene Priest – (406) 252-3013
National Office ! P.O. Box 3696 ! Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696! Toll Free (877) 969-0010
Website: www.compassionatefriends.org Email address: [email protected]
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NEXT MEETING
PROGRAM
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Living with the decision of
taking your child off life-support.
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The Compassionate Friends is a mutual assistance, self-help organization offering friendship, understanding
and hope to bereaved families. The primary purpose is to assist them in positive resolution of the grief
experienced upon the death of a child and to support their efforts to achieve physical and emotional health.
The secondary purpose is to provide information and to educate about bereaved families. The objective is to
help those in their community, including family, friends, employers, and co-workers to be supportive.
This newsletter is dedicated to the following children with love:
In memory of
޹Kelsey Brennan ޹Tyrel John Berg ޹Jonathan Walkslast ޹
޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹޹!
Kelsey Brennan
5/4 ! 2/24
Dearest Kelsey,
!
We love you & miss you so much each
and every day.
Please watch over us & continue to be
a part of our lives until we have the
opportunity to meet again.
Tyrel John Berg
“Buckshot”
Love Always & Forever
Dad, Mom & Lachlan
May 22 ~ Dec 3
!
When someone special becomes a memory, the
memory becomes a treasure. We do treasure our
many memories of times shared with you!
Love, Mom, Dad, Melinda
!
MAY = MOTHER’S DAY, MEMORIAL DAY,
AND MEMORIES OF OUR CHILDREN.
Jonathan Walkslast
5/5 – 12/19
THEY SAY THERE IS NO OTHER - THAT
CAN TAKE THE PLACE OF MOTHER.
-Bernard Shaw
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If tears could build a stairway
And memories a lane,
I’d walk right up to Heaven
And bring you home again.
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Love, Mom
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In our house as in other bereaved parents’ households.
Mother’s Day comes with mixed emotions.
Setting aside a day to honor motherhood is only right:
Mothers do tend to be taken for granted. I remember the
childhood joy of getting my mother a special gift, even if that
gift was nothing more than a crayon drawing. As an adult,
buying gifts for your mother and the mother of your children
still brings back those happy childhood memories.
But this changed after Erin died. Looking through al the
cards at the gift shop only reminds me of this irony. Cute,
humorous and sweetly sentimental cards await the bereaved
father shopping for his grieving wife. I can’t find the card that
will comfort my wife on this day, and even worse, I’m afraid
that I’ll buy a card that will bring back only painful memories
of the child she lost.
I realize this day, perhaps because it is widely celebrated,
can even years later take my wife back to grieving she thought
she was “through with.”
I can never do enough on Mother’s Day; maybe I try to
do too much. I know, of course, that all the cards, gifts, flowers
and messy breakfasts in the world can’t make up for the loss of
our child. But, I can remind her she is a great mother, a loving
mother and most importantly, she is still the mother of the child
we lost. !
If she’s happy on Mother’s day, I will try my best to keep
her there.! If she’s depressed, I’ll try to cheer her up as best I can
! I feel I’m not very good at it. This, then, is the
even though
wish I have
! for her and for all other bereaved mothers on this
day: Please be as happy (and proud) as every other mother
today; no one can dispute the fact you brought your child into
the world. Although that child is no longer with you, the love
you had for her or him remains and can never be taken away
from you. If you should be depressed, may there be family and
friends there to remind you of this and comfort you.
To Chris and to you”
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY
Al Bots
TCF, Cleveland/SW Subrubs
!
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We Welcome the Following Families to Our Group
It is always hard for us to say, “Welcome” to any newcomers because we are so very sorry you became eligible for our membership
in the COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS. We are glad, however, that you found the courage to come to a meeting. Making that first step can
be very difficult. We hope you felt some love, comfort, and caring in being with others who truly understand your grief.
“WE NEED NOT WALK ALONE”
Sharon Carey, daughter, Julee Fraser, born: Dec. ’89 & died: Apr. ‘04
Warren & Pamela Beck, daughter, Lindsey, born: May ’86 & died: Dec. ‘10
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Look for TCF on Facebook!
!
!
!
!“GIFT OF LIFE” BRICK WALKWAY
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!
“Love Gifts” are a beautiful expression of our deep & never-ending love for our children. “Love Gifts” help us to reach out to
bereaved families, friends, & co-workers in various ways- books, tapes, videos, borchures, and this newsletter. These gifts are
deeply appreciated. If you would like to send a “Love Gift,” please mail it to: The Compassionate Friends, P.O. Box 50395,
Billings, MT 59105. Please include who your “Love Gift” is in memory of.
Remember, your gift is also tax deductible!
With much gratitude, we thank the following for their “Love Gifts.”
!
Carol Kunz, in memory of her daughter, Melissa Keller
Carol Kunz, in memory of, Jim Lynch ! Jan 1956 - Jan 2011
Greg & Connie Matfield, in memory of their son, Darren
Russ, Kathy & Melinda Berg, in memory of their son & brother, Tyrel Berg
The Class Motto
!
By Wayne Loder, TCF, Lakes Area, MI
My wife pointed to the class motto in the program as we
waited patiently for the high school graduation ceremony
to begin. I fingered the paper, attempting to grasp the true
meaning of the words. "When all else is lost, the future
still remains."
I thought for a moment and then said to her, "whoever
chose that saying sure wasn't a bereaved parent." My mind
wandered for a moment as I recalled three years ago when
my only children, 8 year-old Stephanie and 5 year-old
Stephen had died in an auto accident. Not only had I lost
everything of true meaning in this life but the future
seemed so bleak there was no reason for me to go on
living.
Fate had ended our "complete" family and the remains
of that family were as unstable as the mighty oak tree that
had lost the battle with a tornado, just waiting for the
slightest of winds to topple it over, finishing the job.
That first-year is virtually gone from my memory. My
mind operated as if in a cloud. It seems to me that I did the
things that needed doing-but I can't really remember what
those things were.
I know I thought a lot about the future. Medical
conditions, plus our age, were against us having
more children. Adoption seemed like a long hard
road and I didn't know if we had the strength to
follow all the curves in that road.
I thought about how our wish came true a year
and a half after the accident when Pat gave birth
to Chris, our third child, and a year later Katieour fourth.
With the help of friends, family and our faith we
had found the strength to carry on despite the
mental assault to our well being caused by Stef
and Steve's deaths.
Jolted back to reality by the beginning of 'Pomp
and Circumstance', I thought about the class
motto one last time. "When all else is lost, the
future still remains"
Maybe the person who wrote that motto did know
what he was doing. When life knocks the stuffing
out of us with a wicked right jab, perhaps it is
true the future still remains, just waiting for us to
set the right course.
I once read of a story in the Jewish Talmud of a
man who had a little girL his only daughter, who
became sick and died. His heart was broken.
Despite all the efforts of his friends to comfort
him and help him realize that life does go on, he
refused to be comforted.
One night he dreamed that he was in heaven
watching little girls in a pageant. Each girl carried
a lighted candle. But the candle carried by liis
own daughter was unlit. As he took her in his
arms and caressed her, he asked, "Why is your
candle not lit?" She answered, "sometimes it does
light but your tears always put it out."
Just as this man learned that he should not allow
his tears to darken the light of his daughter's
candle, we too must look beyond our tears
toward the future. For if we live in the great
emptiness of our past, we are doomed to remain
there forever.
The Angel Statue Fund
(reported by Arlene Priest)
In 2002, I attended the TCF National Conference in Salt Lake City. They took us to see the “Angel of Hope” statue, an exact replica of
the CHRISTMAS BOX ANGEL STATUE. The “Christmas Box” was written by Richard Paul Evans, and the Angel Statue is a symbol of hope for
all parents who have experienced the death of a child. I knew immediately that I wanted an Angel Statue in our “Sanctuary” in Rose Park along
with our Floral Garden, “Gift of Life” Brick Walkway, blue spruce tree and benches. And that became “my dream”! There are many of these
statues throughout the U.S. I contacted the Richard Paul Evans, Inc. and met with Billings Park Dept. personnel, and have had numerous meetings.
Discovered it takes much time to accomplish all the “ground work” to a project such as this. In the meantime, The Richard Paul Evans corporation
advised me they would no longer authorize any more “Angel of Hope” statues. I was devastated – but I just couldn’t let “my dream” die – so I have
been meeting with sculpturer, Mike Capsar, and now awaiting his design and cost. The Billlings Chapter is so very grateful for your response of
memorials designated for our “ANGEL FUND!! And we so very much thank you for your continued ANGEL FUND memorials to assist us in
making our dream a reality, an ANGEL” at Rose Park to bring hope and peace to all bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings.
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!
The following donations have recently been made:
In memory of:
With love from:
Melissa Keller
David (Dave) T. Mattheis
MacKenzie Reffalt
her mom, Carol Kunz
Mary H. Mattheis, Mark Mattheis & family, Mike Mattheis & family
by her dad, Curt Laingen
With much gratitude, we thank you all for your contributions.
Remember, your gift is tax deductible!
!
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Lovingly Remembered…
Our children, grandchildren and siblings…
Birthdays
Lindsey Ann Beck - 5/07
Warren & Pam Beck
Tyrel John Berg - 05/22
Russell, Kathy & Melinda Berg
Larry R. Turner - 05/13
Dorothy V. Bone
Scott W. Maxson - 05/13
Sharon Bonilla
John Maxson
Kelsey Patricia Brennan - 05/04
Michael & Melinda Brennan
Ted Guenthner - 05/01
Roger & Phyllis Bromgard
Johnny Ray Cellan Jr. - 05/26
John & Jeanne Cellan
Magaila Marie Crandall - 05/27
Melissa Crandall
Mark "Spoon" Forrest Ullman - 05/20
Frances David
Dustin Kirk Dudley - 05/16
Cheryl Dudley
Anthony P. Dunn - 05/22
Pat & Pat Dunn
Thomas J. Erkens - 05/21
Jim & Carol Erkens
Donna Davisson - 05/27
Lucille Hankel
Lorrie Ann Pies - 05/163
Ann Hofferber
Michael Shane Johnson - 5/31
Joyce Johnson
Renee Johnson - 05/23
Lois & Toby Johnson
Patrick Roy Kramer - 05/06
Dennis & Joyce Kramer
Robert Dauenhauer - 05/07
Ann Kuntz
Jack Robert Liedle - 05/07
Jack & Barbara Liedle
Larry Michael Link - 05/04
Larry & Myra Link
Caleb Jon McRae - 05/23
Anne McRae
Deborah Muth Berg - 05/01
Maurice & Delores Muth
Jerry Ray Nava - 05/02
Bud & Margaret Nava
Duane Henry Ostwalt - 05/15
Conrad & Miriam Ostwalt
Steven K. Petersen - 05/10
Bernell & Beverly Petersen
Wesley Michael Peterson - 05/14
Warren & Peggy Peterson
Emma Thomas - 05/31
Arlene Priest
Darcy Ann Roat - 05/15
Brian & Sharon Roat
Roni Jo Brum - 05/16
David & Dorothy Robertson
George W. Safford - 05/18
Mary Safford
Christian R. Schake - 05/20
Harvey & Diane Schake
Ryan Timothy Schulz - 05/21
Tim & Terri Schulz
Toni Mulkey Le Page - 05/07
Barbara Smith
Linda Lee Hanson - 05/18
Clark & Opal Stanton
Nicholas J. Stevens - 05/07
Richard & Sam Stevens
Dru Stewart - 05/16
Patti Stewart
Meggin Stewart
Louis Joseph Todisco - 05/29
Joe & Becky Todisco
Jonathan Chance Walkslast - 05/05
Jolene Walkslast
Jonathan Whitmer - 05/25
Nancy Whitmer
Jeremy Thomas Woolston - 05/03
Larry & Blondie Woolston
Anniversaries
Manuel J. Alvarez II - 05/29
John & Mary Alvarez
Stephanie Ellen Bauer - 05/19
Vickie Bauer
Brad James Black - 05/26
Jim & LaVaun Black
Monte Blain - 05/27
Wally & Marge Blain
David R. Hunter - 05/21
Bernadette Brady
James Clevenger - 05/15
Jim & Debbie Clevenger
Mary Ryan - 05/19
Jim & Debbie Clevenger
Kirsten Annette Jackson - 05/10
Patricia A. Cline
Theresa Wysokowski - 05/07
Laura Cutrone
Randall Brown - 05/08
Mary & Dick Fossen
Tony Haacke - 05/23
Terri Haacke
Lorie Haacke
Scott - 05/08
Jen Hamann
Abigail Hansen - 05/15
Joe & Joan Hansen
Michael Troy Pierce - 05/08
William & Kelly Helm
Tyler Reed Jeroma - 05/07
Al & Sue Jeroma
Jason Kelly Lachenmeier - 05/30
Mike Lachenmeier
Shaun Madden - 05/09
Bert & LaVonne Madden
Darren Michael Mattfield - 05/07
Greg & Connie Mattfield
Adele Jeanne Rossi - 05/28
Denise Naasz
Duane Henry Ostwalt - 05/14
Conrad & Miriam Ostwalt
Dylan Joel Thomas - 05/06
Chad & Penny Reintsma
Ryan & Kaitlyn
Jared Rodriguez - 05/20
Jim & Becki Rodriguez
Ryan Joseph Webster "Frodo" - 05/10
Mick & Mary Sanders
Russell Six - 05/18
Cindy Six
Sherry L. Loveridge - 05/22
Richard & Jackie Taylor
Matthew Sanchez - 05/15
Julie Torres
Robert Joe Weigand - 05/12
Norita & June Weigand
Barb Hengelfelt - 5/15
Paul & Jean Williams
We know how important it is for your child’s name to be included on this page. We apologize if we miss anyone.
We encourage you to notify us if you notice an error or if you would like us to update information.
If you find it too painful and would rather not have your child’s name listed here, please let us know
by calling: Lorie (855-3071) or Erin (256-1569).
Thank you for understanding.
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PONDERINGS ALONG THE PATH
By Nadine Boyd
!
Dear Compassionate Friends:
May and June bring a number of holidays and occasions that can be difficult for bereaved parents to
face. In May we celebrate Mother's Day and Memorial Day; and in June we celebrate Father's Day.
Parenthood changes our lives forever. Along with the joy and celebrating a new life and new member of our
family comes the knowledge of the tremendous responsibility you have to protect and keep this little person
safe. The world seems a little scarier somehow. Accidents, disease, even bullies on the playground seem
more threatening. So we take a deep breath, say a little prayer, give them a hug and send them off into that
scary world each day.
As your child grows into a teen and then adult, the worries only change. Now you worry about them being
in an accident, peer pressure to make bad choices, where to get the money to send them to college, and will
they find a career that gives them fulfilling, important work that also allows them to be able to financially
support themselves and a family.
Our youngest son turned 18 and graduates from high school this month, and it is bittersweet to think that
part of our lives as parents of a younger child is over. We rejoice in his excitement to start this new chapter of
his life in college and as a young adult, but will miss the daily routine of all his school activities and sports. We
are so proud of the fine young men our boys are, but I miss the precious little ones they were.
I have been known to tell my children "I don't care if you are 55 years old-you will still be my baby, and I
am going to wonder where you are and who you are with!" They usually roll their eyes and sigh, but I tell them
I'm not going to change. They may as well get used to it. It's true-parenthood doesn't end when they have their
18th birthday or are handed their diploma. It is very difficult to step back from making all the decisions for their
daily living and activities and trust them to make sure they are eating nutritious regular meals, getting enough
sleep and taking good care of themselves and paying their bills. I have to trust them to make their own
decisions and yes, mistakes sometimes, but we learn from our mistakes. Try as we might, we can't keep them
wrapped in plastic and away from the world. They certainly don't want it, and we don't want that for our kids.
When our son Aaron went to Heaven, because he was so young (5) I cried so much and wondered if he
was in pain when he died, and if he was scared there there in Heaven without us. His dad or I had always
stayed at the hospital with him when he was there and it was unbearable to think he could be there all alone. I
suffered for many months worrying about this until one night I dreamed he was playing in a grassy field. He
was smiling and laughing and able to run and play. He had been so sick the last year of his life and really
didn't have the energy to run with the other kids. This dream brought me so much comfort, because for the
first time I felt he was no longer sick. He was happy and able to run and play. It also brought us so much
comfort to remember my grandmother, who adored Aaron, and my husband's mother were there in Heaven to
welcome him, hug him and spoil him. The grandmas will be there for him until we can join him some day.
This month and next as we honor mothers and fathers remember the joy your children brought you-each
child's uniqueness and special gifts. Remember to give thanks for YOUR mother and father. They love and
care about us, worry about us (STILL!) and helped model and shape us into the parents we are. They also
think their grandchildren are the most special, smartest, and most gifted children ever. It is a precious gift to
know someone loves your children even more than you do.
May your love for your children and your joy they bring to your life bring you comfort and healing.
In friendship,
Nadine
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