GlobalNomads - PAnet

Transcription

Table of Contents
---Self Introduction,
Motivations, and Booklet
Introduction 1
---TCK Introduction 2
History of TCK Definition2
TCK Visibility
and Awareness 3
---TCK Groups 4
Foreign Service Kids 5
Missionary Kids 5
Military Brats 6
Corporate Brats 6
---The TCK Experience 7
Involvement Stage 7
Leaving Stage 7
Transition Stage 8
Entering Stage 8
Re-involvement Stage 8
---The TCK Identity 9
Traditional Identity
Development 10
TCK Identity Development 11
Pre-encounter 11
Encounter 11
Exploration 12
Integration 12
Recycling 12
---TCK Characteristics 12
Common Themes 12
Reactions to the TCK
Experience 13
Practical Skills 14
Cross-cultural Skills 14
Social Skills 15
Linguistic Skills 15
---TCK Issues 16
Rootlessness and
Restlessness 16
Alienation 17
Unresolved Grief 17
---TCK Research 19
Dr. Ruth Hill Useem and Dr.
Ann Baker Cottrell 19
Phillips Academy 19
---Supporting TCKs 22
Knowing the Language 22
Establishing Relationships 22
The Transition “Home”:
Leaving Well and
Entering Well 23
How Schools Can Help 25
How Parents Can Help 26
Phillips Academy’s TCK
Support 26
---Conclusion 27
---Author’s Remarks 28
---Acknowledgements 29
---Recommended Books 29
---Appendix 30
---Bibliography 35
Self Introduction, Motivations for Pursuing this Project, and Booklet
Introduction
During the past 17 years of my life, I have lived in distinct cultures
around the world. Born in Seoul, Korea, I was on a plane to Nashville,
Tennessee by the age of four, just when I started to learn to read. Living in
Tennessee for three years while my father attended Law School at Vanderbilt
University, I picked up a slight Southern accent as well as a love for country
music. However, by the time I finished the first grade, I was off again,
following my family to Bethesda, Maryland, for my dad‟s new job. In
Maryland, I lost all traces of my former accent and developed a new liking for
the state‟s signature dish: the blue crab. Becoming a part of my elementary
school‟s newspaper club, basketball team, television show, and drama team, I,
along with my parents, established strong ties to our community. Attending
birthday parties, block parties, and potlucks every other week, I was
absolutely shocked during the summer of my fifth grade when my parents
informed me that we were moving yet again: this time across the world.
Just when I was starting to feel comfortable, my parents shook up my
world, telling me that we were going to move to Hong Kong, a place that I
could not even locate on the map. Yet again, we took all of our belongings
and trotted across the globe. The strange street aromas soon became familiar,
and Hong Kong became my new home, with its tall skyscrapers, bright lights,
and delectable dim sum. Attending an international school for my entire
middle school career, I decided to apply to boarding school for high school.
Before I knew it, at the beginning of my ninth grade year, I was lugging my
suitcases again, but this time, to Andover, Massachusetts to attend Phillips
Academy.
Moving every three to four years, my life has been anything but
settled. I did not notice it when I was younger, but by the time I was in the
second grade, I realized that I did not truly belong to one specific place: I
knew I was not fully a part of Korea, Tennessee, or Maryland. By the time I
moved to Hong Kong, I felt truly disconnected from any one identity. When
anyone asked me the simple question, “where are you from?” or, “where is
your home?” I always ended up feeling confused, conflicted, and unsure of
myself. These feelings of rootlessness prompted me to further explore
multiculturalism. Through discussions with my advisors in my high school‟s
Community and Multicultural Development Office during my sophomore year,
I became aware of a phenomenon called “Third Culture Kids” (TCKs) or
“global nomads.”
Through research, I learned that there was a whole community of
people like me all around the world, living cross cultural lives with high
mobility. I went through a process of self-discovery, and once I knew that I
was a TCK, I felt more empowered as an individual, for I felt connected to a
community of thousands just like me. 1 I could identify with the numerous
1
Tina L. Quick, The Global Nomad's Guide To University Transition (London: Summertime, 2010), 9
1
qualities of TCKs and developed a deeper understanding of why I am the way
I am. For the first time, I learned that it was normal to experience the feelings
I was having: a whole community of TCKs always felt a little different from
those around them. 2After I learned about this new culture that I could identify
with, my uprooted sense of myself became more grounded in a global identity.
Through the process of creating this book, I aim to further explore my own
cross cultural identity while raising awareness about the “Third Culture Kid”
phenomenon to help both global nomads and monocultural people first
understand, and second, support Third Culture Kids.
TCK Introduction
As globalization is occurring at an ever-accelerating rate, affecting
virtually all aspects of modern life, the topic of “Third Culture Kids”
inevitably arises.3 So, what exactly is a “Third Culture Kid?” As was defined
by David Pollock, a prominent American sociologist, author, and leader in this
field, Third Culture Kids (TCKs) are “[children who spend] a significant
period of their developmental years outside their parents‟ passport culture.”4
Although TCKs have been around since the earliest human migrations, it has
only been a few decades since language and a name has been given to this
experience. 5
History of the TCK Definition
In the 1950s, two social scientists, Ruth Hill Useem and John Useem,
coined the term “third culture” after making their second yearlong trip in 1958
to India to study the American expatriate community of missionaries, foreignservice officers, educators, and businesspeople. 6 There, the sociologists
discovered that although each specific expatriate community had their own
distinctive characteristics, all of the groups were ultimately closely interlocked
in the way that they preferred to spend time with other expatriates, regardless
of dissimilar cultures or nationalities. 7 This realization allowed the Useems to
see that the expatriates in India formed a new international lifestyle, creating a
culture different from that of either their home or host culture. Specific to the
particular setting, the expatriates created an “interstitial culture,” or a “culture
between cultures.”8
Therefore, after intensive research and analysis, the social scientists
defined the three separate cultures that expatriates were exposed to: the first
culture (home or passport culture), the second culture (host culture), and the
third culture (the interstitial culture and lifestyle shared by the community of
expatriates) [Refer to Figure 1].9 The children who accompanied their parents
2
Aniket Shah and Akash Shah, Club Expat: A Teenager's Guide to Moving Overseas (Indianapolis: IN: Dog Ear, 2005), 51
-Hilliard, Globalization: Culture and Education in the New Millennium (Berkeley:
University of California Press, 2004), 3
4
Heidi Sand-Hart, Home Keeps Moving: A Glimpse into the Extraordinary Life of a Third Culture Kid (Hagerstown: McDougal Publishing, 2010), 21
5
David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken, Third Culture Kids, Revised Edition: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds (Boston: Nicholas Brealey
Publishing, 2009), 13
6
"Dr. Ruth Hill Useem." TCKWorld: The Official Home of Third Culture Kids (TCKs). Web. 22 June 2011. <http://www.tckworld.com/useem/home.html>.
7
Shah, Club Expat, 5 Carolyn D. Smith, ed., Strangers At Home: Essays On the Effects of Living Overseas and Coming (Bayside, NY: Aletheia, 1996),23
8
Pollock and Van Reken, Third Culture Kids, Revised edition, 14
9
Quick, The Global Nomad’s Guide, 9
3
2
into this “interstitial culture,” integrating aspects of their passport culture, new
host culture, as well as the unique “third culture,” became known as “Third
Culture Kids” (TCKs). The Useems ultimately related that these TCKs‟
“sense of belonging” was found, not in their home or host culture, but “with
others who share the experience of living outside their passport culture.”10
Figure 1: Pollock and Van Reken’s portrayal of
Useem’s Third Culture Model
As studies continued about this phenomenon, authors David Pollack
and Ruth Van Reken, a TCK herself, created an expanded definition of the
TCK for the modern day, as a person who has spent a significant part of his or
her developmental years outside the parents‟ culture. The TCK builds
relationships to all cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although
elements from each culture are assimilated into the TCK‟s life experience, the
sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background. 11
Through this definition, the authors aimed to establish the two
significant realities that are ever present in a TCK‟s life. First, the TCKs are
raised “in a genuinely cross-cultural world.” By actually living in diverse
cultural settings instead of analyzing or watching from afar, TCKs “move
back and forth between their passport and host cultures.” Second, the TCKs
are raised in “a highly mobile world.” Unlike immigrants, TCKs have the
unique experience of constantly packing up and leaving, changing their lives
and their backdrops every few years. Furthermore, the two authors saw
numerous unique commonalities in the third culture community, such as
“expected repatriation,” “distinct differences” in both physical appearances or
thoughts from those around them, “system identity,” and, often, depending on
the circumstances, a “privileged lifestyle.” 12
TCK Visibility and Awareness
One may ask: If TCKs have been around since the beginning of
human history, why have they been so under the radar? It has only been
recently that this phenomenon has become largely visible, and sociologists
state three main reasons for this.
First, it has only been in the past few decades that the number of
TCKs has significantly increased. As transportation and communication have
vastly improved all over the world in the latter half of the 20 th century, more
people have taken interest in international careers. As a result, more children
are following their parents to overseas assignments. Unlike the days of the
adventurous explorers, the pioneer missionaries, or the colonial governors,
where overseas travel was accompanied by great risks of disease, exhaustion,
10
11
12
Sand-Hart, Home Keeps Moving, 21
3
and dangers, now, a trip from one end of the globe to the other takes a mere
day. International schools are in almost every corner of the world, and
hospitals are always just “an airlift away.” Therefore, parents find very little
reason to embark upon their transnational journeys alone, which has
dramatically increased TCK numbers to around 200 million worldwide. 13
Second, TCK presence has grown stronger. Through the use of many
social networking sites, blogs, and web chat rooms, as well as the rising
prominence of many global nomads, TCKs‟ public voice has grown louder
and stronger. Through Facebook groups and blog sites, such as tckid.com or
tckworld.com, “TCK” has become a “visible, identifiable group.”
Furthermore, world renowned TCK politicians, celebrities, authors, and
athletes have become more vocal about their experiences. One especially vital
source of TCK awareness has been the election of President Barack Obama,
the current President of the United States. Born in Hawaii, raised in Indonesia,
and later growing up in Chicago, Obama put a spotlight on multi-cultural
lifestyles.
Third, the TCK‟s importance has greatly increased. In this
globalizing age, many believe that “the TCK experience is a microcosm of
what is fast becoming normal throughout the world.” Sociologist Ted Ward
claimed in 1984 that “[TCKs were] the prototype citizens of the future.” This
future that Ward predicted is quickly approaching, as even now, it is
extremely difficult to find a completely homogenous community in the world.
Multiculturalism is fast becoming the norm rather than the exception, and as
evident through the lives of many famous TCKs such as Barack Obama, the
TCK world can provide helpful guides to new patterns of “global cultural
mixing.”14
TCK Groups
Although TCKs share commonalities and experiences, they come
from a spectrum of different sponsorship groups. Traditional TCK groups,
according to the research of Van Reken, include “foreign-service kids,”
“corporate brats,” “missionary kids,” and “military brats.” Through Ruth
Useem‟s research, data shows that before World War II, approximately 66%
of TCKs came from missionary families and around 16% came from business
related families (Refer to Figure 2). However, after the war acted as a catalyst
in globalization, the composition of international families have changed, and
now, sociologists estimate the breakdown of TCKs to be roughly 17 %
missionary, 16% business, 23% government, 30% military, and 14% "other”
(See Figure 3). Within these groups, there lie potential differences as well as
threads of similarities.15
13
"Third Culture Kids." U.S. Department of State. Web. 22 June 2011. <http://www.state.gov/m/dghr/flo/c21995.htm>.
Ann Baker Cotrell, "Educational and Occupational Choices of American ATCKs," in Military Brats and Other Global Nomads: Growing Up in Organization
Families, by Morten G. Ender (Westport: Praeger, 2002), 230
14
15
4
Figure 2:TCK Groups Breakdown Before WWII
Figure 3: TCK Groups Breakdown After WWII
As expected, TCKs from different sponsoring organizations are
unalike in numerous ways and have sector-specific phenomena. While the
children of overseas foreign-service workers may feel obligated to represent
their “flag” or country, the children of missionaries often have a “God
overlay” in their lives. Furthermore, the TCKs from military bases overseas
may have an instilled “duty and service over desire” attitude. 16 Different
variables, such as “length of stay, degree of contact with host nationals, the
size of both the sponsoring and expatriate communities, and the willingness of
parents to encourage their children to engage the culture and its people” also
contend the intensity of the third culture experience.17
Foreign Service Kids
Referring to the children of parents who work “full-time with the
forces in a posting abroad” in non-military government positions, the
“Foreign Service brat” often lives abroad for extended periods of
time in the diplomatic corps or near military bases. 18 According to
sociologist Dr. Ann Baker Cottrell, more than 44% of these TCKs
have lived in more than four different countries, and around 44%
have lived abroad for more than ten years. Foreign Service Kids are
among the most cross-cultural TCK groups.
Missionary Kids
Known as the TCK subset group that spends the most time overseas,
with the most contact with the local population as well as the host
culture, Dr. Baker Cottrell cites that 72% of “Missionary Kids” live
in only one foreign country and more than 85% spend more than ten
years overseas. Although missionary kids were predominantly
American citizens, recently, other countries, most specifically South
Koreans missionaries, are growing in number. 19
Military Brats
The children of “active-duty military personnel,” military brats are
the most mobile of TCKs. According to Dr. Baker Cottrell, they
16
Pollock and Van Reken, Third Culture Kids, Revised edition,34
Carolyn Fox Barringer. "Counseling Third Culture Kids." Annual Conference of the American Counseling Association in 2000. ERDS.
"Who Is the Foreign Service Child?" U.S. Department of State. Web. 22 Aug. 2011. <http://www.state.gov/m/dghr/flo/c23957.htm>.
19
Cotrell, "Educational and Occupational Choices of American ATCKs," 231
17
18
5
spend an average of seven years growing up abroad and 59% spend
more than 5 years overseas. Due to the unique military culture of self
sufficiency that they live in, they have the least interaction with the
host culture. Currently, military brats are one of the most studied
TCK groups. 20
Corporate Brats
Many times cited as the most privileged of TCKs, “corporate brats”
are often from oil families, international businesses, or
pharmaceutical companies. Dr. Baker Cottrell‟s research proves that
around 63% of these children of international businesspeople spent at
least ten years in foreign countries. 21 Similar to the missionary kids,
these TCKs often have continued interaction with the local culture. 22
However, looking beyond these differences and seeing the TCK
groups as whole researchers have seen significant ties between the distinctive
sectors. As defined earlier, the cross- cultural, mobile TCKs are extremely
similar in the way that they are often very different from their peers in terms
of looks and perspectives, live under the general presumption that they will
return to their “home” culture after an extended period time in their “host”
culture, historically have been part of an elitist community with special
privileges, and take on “representational roles” for their sponsoring
agencies.23
Figure 4: Pollock and Van Reken’s Model
of TCK Commonalities and Differences
Whether they are the children of diplomats, missionaries, or military
officers, TCKs often experience the perks and entitlements of overseas living,
bestowed by their sponsoring organizations: including use of the PX or
commissary [retail stores or malls that operate all over the world in US
military stations that provide everything from movie theaters, to fast food
chains, to brand name stores], chauffeurs, domestic service personnel, or
world-wide travel. 24 Living all around the world, many TCKs truly live a
privileged lifestyle. On the other hand, despite their different environmental
20
Rudi Williams, "Military Brats Are a Special Breed." U.S. Department of Defense. American Forces Press Service, 20 Aug. 2001. Web. 28 June 2011.
<http://www.defense.gov/news/newsarticle.aspx?id=44766>.
22
23
24
Carolyn D. Smith, ed., Strangers At Home: Essays On the Effects of Living Overseas and Coming (Bayside, NY.: Aletheia, 1996), 34
21
6
settings, each group, historically, has also had to deal with the pressures of
their sponsoring organization. Often placed in situations where they were
“representing something greater than themselves – be it their government,
their company, or God,” TCKs were urged to meet the “various social or
behavioral expectations of the organizational system.”25 Although not as strict
as it was in the past, this “system identity” persists today, and many times, if
TCKs‟ behavior does not reflect the values of the sponsoring organization, it
might put their parents‟ job at risk. Furthermore, all groups of TCKs were
noted to face similar experiences of reverse culture shock during their
repatriation process.26
The TCK Experience
Due to the high mobility of TCKs, sociologists generally categorize
the TCK experience into five classic transition stages: “involvement, leaving,
transition, entering, reinvolvement.” 27
Involvement Stage
First, TCKs take part in the “involvement stage.” In this period,
TCKs do not even realize that this is a “transition” stage. Often times an
“intimate part of [the] community,” the TCKs feel safe and settled. They
know the cultural codes, feel a responsibility to be involved with different
aspects of the society, and know that they belong within the community. On
the flip side, others in the community also feel comfortable with the TCKs. 28
As sociologist Van Reken said, “People hear [the TCK’s] name and instantly
picture [their] face and form.” The TCK and his or her family have an
established reputation, history, and social standing in this period of the cycle.
They are mainly focused on the present rather than worrying about the past or
future.29
Leaving Stage
The “leaving stage” is next, which is when TCKs realize that their
life will begin to change. Characterized by detachment and denial, it is during
this stage that TCKs start to loosen relational ties and relinquish their
responsibilities. Starting anywhere from six months to a few weeks before the
actual move, this stage often causes the most anger and frustration for both
TCKs and those around them. Calling friends less frequently or refusing to
start new projects, TCKs often partake in numerous “self protective denials”
including the denial of “feelings of sadness or grief,” “feelings of rejection,”
“unfinished business,” and expectations. 30
25
Marion Knell, Burn-Up or Splash Down: Surviving the Culture Shock of Re-Entry (Tyrone, GA: Authentic, 2007), 10
28
Knell, Burn-up or Splash Down, 10
29
30
26
27
7
Transition Stage
The third stage of the cycle is the “transition stage.” Marked by
chaos, this stage begins the moment TCKs leave one place and decide to settle
in another. In a completely new setting, with a new schedule and new
responsibilities, many TCKs and their families live “temporarily
dysfunctional” lives, losing all of their normal support systems and falling into
self-centeredness, worrying about their own well being over the welfare of
others. 31 Often, parents, concerned with the countless issues that follow a
transition, overlook the insecurities of their children, forgetting to read, play,
or even pick up their kids from school. This phase can be a tense time, for
both TCKs and their parents, for they must relearn the communal codes and
behaviors almost from scratch. This period of initial transition can create a
“severe loss of self esteem” for TCKs, who frequently believe they “should
have known better” in embarrassing situations. 32
Entering Stage
The next step is the “entering stage,” or the readjusting stage. 33
Although still vulnerable and uncertain, TCKs during the entering stage feel
more settled and accept their surroundings. They begin to feel like they are
“finally getting it.”34 However, this is a stage filled with ambivalence, as well,
for one day, a TCK may be able to help when someone asks for directions,
and feel like they are finally becoming normal again, but fall apart into
homesickness the very next day, when they make a cultural mistake, such as
being scolded for speaking too loudly or wearing “inappropriate” clothing.35
Although emotions fluctuate, this is the stage that hope begins to grow of true
belonging in the host community. TCKs start to reach out to friends, mentors,
and their new surroundings.
Reinvolvement Stage
The last stage in the cycle is the “reinvolevement stage.” During this
stage, the TCK finally feels like they belong in the community. They develop
a feeling of intimacy with the new culture and establish their standing in the
community. Simultaneously, those around the TCKs see them as a part of
their group, knowing the TCK’s reputation, history, and interests. Although
the TCK may not feel like they are “native” to the community, they still feel
like they belong. As Tina Quick, founder of International Family Transitions,
cross-cultural trainer, and international speaker says, “[TCKs] can now call
this new place „home.‟”36 This stage, as David Pollock describes, is the “light
at the end of the proverbial tunnel.”37
31
34
Shah, Club Expat, 25
35
Shah, Club Expat, 30
36
37
32
33
8
Although this transition model can apply to all children adjusting to
college life or employees entering into a new job, the defining distinction with
TCKs is the aspect of high mobility which leads to “frequent and repeated
cycles” of these transition experiences. This cycle is intensified, as some
TCKs “soar through,” while others “lose their bearings.”38 Moving overseas,
sometimes every one to two years, many TCKs undergo “chronic cycles of
mobility,” which inevitably leads to greater and more frequent losses of
homes, friends, and responsibilities. Some TCKs do not even have enough
time to go through the “entering stage,” let alone finish the “reinvolvement
stage” because of their high mobility. Moreover, as these children move to
foreign countries, they experience the stress of “culture shock” on top of the
stress of any transition experience. 39 Consequently, many TCKs, unlike the
average person, often carry with them “unresolved grief” from these intense
and frequent transitions, which can lead to debilitating expressions of anger,
depression, withdrawal, rebellion, vicarious grief, and delayed grief. 40
The TCK Identity
As a result of the nature of their cross cultural and mobile lives,
TCKs often experience the paradoxical situation of being so “profoundly
connected yet simultaneously disconnected to people and places around the
world.” 41 Therefore, as identity often forms from the influences around us,
TCKs have a very different identity development than people who have grown
up in one culture.
When asked the question, “Who are you?” many people, even if they
have lived in cross cultural settings during adulthood, have a clear answer: I
am an American, Korean, German, or South African. There is no hesitation.
They have an established “basic value system, sense of identity, and core
relationships with family and friends in their home culture”: they know who
they are where they are from. However, the case is different for third culture
kids. 42
TCKs are by definition people who live cross culturally “during their
developmental years.” Experiencing true multiculturalism during the point in
time when a child forms its “sense of identity, relationships with others, and
view of the world,” the TCK identity development is complex and different
from their monocultural peers. These global nomads‟ lives are planted in,
rooted to, and watered by the third culture experience. 43
Traditional Identity Development
While growing up, at some point, everyone faces the need to answer
the question Who am I? and Where do I belong?44 As Pollock and Van Reken
38
Smith, Strangers at Home, 184
Craig Storti, The Art of Crossing Cultures, 2nd Edition ed. (London: Nicholas Brealey Publishing, 2007), 25
40
41
42
43
44
39
9
point out, most people facing these questions, especially children, find their
answers mirrored through their family and community. They can see their
own image reflected in this mirrored communal image, which establishes both
their sense of personal identity as well as a group identity. This process of
finding out and adopting an identity and culture has occurred in societies so
naturally through the ages, that for most people, they do not even realize that
it is going on. Identity development is an unconscious process.45
This adoption of culture, however, comes naturally for a reason. Paul
Hiebert, a cultural anthropologist, emphasizes that culture, a system of not
only unified standards of external behavior [how to appropriately dress, speak,
and act like those around us] but also a code of “shared concepts, beliefs, and
values,” is ultimately learned- not instinctive. He explains that culture is
“something caught from, as well as taught by, the surrounding environment
and passed from one generation to the next.” Therefore, as Pollock states,
from the moment one is born, he or she is unconsciously learning the culture
of his or her community. Spoken to, dressed, and taught manners in the
particular way that is “right” in the society, one continually affirms beliefs of
how “life is approached and lived” from those around them, ultimately
internalizing these practices and principles. After learning and accepting the
culture, one develops his own identity as well as a communal identity, which
allows him to confidently grow into adulthood: these individuals know exactly
what is expected of them and have role models in the community of similar
ages that have formed a path that they can follow.
David Pollock and Ruth Van Reken call this entire process of
cultural internalization “cultural balance”- the achievement of the
developmental state which establishes a sense of belonging and confidence:
getting to the point where one has an “almost unconscious knowledge of how
things are and work in a particular community.” 46 This subconscious
understanding of a culture, “how things work, how to interact, what is funny
and what is appropriate,” is extremely important for individuals because it
gives them the freedom from conscious details. 47 Instead of worrying
excessively about what color to wear to any given business event, those in
cultural balance who already internalized the customs and underlying
assumptions of the community can spend their energies socializing and
developing new business strategies during that time. As Pollock states, “Being
„in the know‟ gives us a sense of stability, deep security, and belonging.”48
Therefore for jet set globe trotters, in a world of continuous changes
of cultures, cultural balance is difficult to achieve. As one plane ride can
completely upturn complete sets of expectations, behaviors, languages, and
worldviews, TCKs may feel perpetually “out of sync.” Authors Pollock and
Van Reken comment:
45
Pollock and Van Reken, Third Culture Kids,43
"Third Culture Kids." TCIUS. Web. 28 June 2011. <http://www.tcius.com/third-culture-kids/207/>.
48
46
47
10
“While peers in their new (and old) community are internalizing the rules of
culture and beginning to move out with budding confidence, TCKs are still
trying to figure out what the rules are. They aren’t free to explore their
personal gifts and talents because they are still preoccupied with what is or
isn’t appropriate behavior.”49
Due to the cross cultural and highly mobile realities that underlie
their lives, TCKs may not have the chance to comfortably experience
traditional developments of identity: many suggest that TCKs have alternative
forms of identity development.
TCK Identity Development
Dr. Barbara Schaetti, the Principal Consultant of Transition
Dynamics, an “independent consultancy serving the international expatriate
and repatriate community,” outlines five stages of TCK identity
development.50 She says that TCKS go through a process of 1) pre-encounter,
2) encounter, 3) exploration, 4) integration, and 5) recycling to answer the
question “Who am I?”51
Pre-encounter
At this point in the TCKs‟ life, they do not fully realize how different
they are from their monocultural counterparts. So accustomed to their transcultural, itinerant lives, they believe that this “unusual but incredible” lifestyle
is relatively normal. They are living life the only way they know how to,
without realizing how much it is shaping who they are. 52
Encounter
Schaetti describes this stage as the “most profound, identity-shaking
Encounter stage.” A stage that can be triggered by a number of different
experiences, the encounter stage, both sudden and expected, powerfully opens
TCKs‟ eyes to see that they are really different from their peers. Forcing
TCKs to become conscious of their dissimilarity, the encounter stage pushes
TCKs into self reflection: the TCK truly contemplates who they are and where
they belong.
Often occurring after repatriation, this stage can be shattering to
TCKs. They realize that the place they called home actually feels distant,
strange, and foreign. They often say that they do not truly belong anywhere.
This profound realization leads to their next stage: exploration.
Exploration
Trying to explore and understand why they feel and are so different
from their peers, TCKs enter the exploration stage. During this time, the TCK
49
Barringer, Carolyn Fox. "Counseling Third Culture Kids." Annual Conference of the American Counseling Association in 2000. ERDS.
"Barbara F. Schaetti, Ph.D." Transition Dynamics -- A Consultancy Serving the International Expatriate and Repatriate Community. Web. 28 June 2011.
<http://www.transition-dynamics.com/principal.html>.
51
Ann Baker Cottrell, "TCKs Come of Age," Voices (March 2005): 11, WorldCat.
52
50
11
delves into research about his or her identity, scouring the web, purchasing
numerous books, and trying to find people like themselves, other global
nomads. This stage can be as short as a few weeks to as long as a decade. In
today‟s technically advanced age, TCKs often join blogs, find support
meetings, and discover a community where they feel they belong.53
Integration
The integration stage occurs the moment that a TCK comes to terms
with his or her uniqueness. Tina Quick says that TCKs achieve “congruence
(harmony)” “once [they] understand who they are and how their international
life experiences shaped them.” Once this insight is realized, Schaetti says
TCKs go into the integration stage, a state of comfortableness with being
different from their home culture peers. At this point of their identity
development, the TCK will choose to “either embrace his or her life
experiences and use them to strengthen his or her success or he or she will
discard them as being irrelevant.”54
Recycling
Schaetti states that TCKs will often have another profound,
encounter moment that will, again, lead them to internal reflection. Although
not as intense as the initial encounter experience, the TCKs will engage again
in their identity development stages. They will go through the steps again,
from encounter, exploration, to integration.
TCK Characteristics
From their unique highly mobile experience and their distinctive
identity development, TCKs develop numerous characteristics. Dr. Sheila
J. Ramsey, a consultant to global nomads, notes four common themes in
TCKs. In addition, Pollock and Van Reken reveal the common ways TCKs
react to their experience. Furthermore, along their global journeys, TCKs pick
up various practical skills.
Common Themes
First, Ramsey says “change” is a significant theme in the TCK life.
Because of their mobility, they have to learn to be adaptable and flexible to
constant changes of “location, friends, schools, and cultural experiences.”
TCKs ultimately learn to “rely on change” and develop unique skills to adjust
to their varying situations. 55 The second theme she investigated was
“relationships.” A common characteristic, according to Ramsey, is their
ability to both make friends quickly while also adjusting to losing them just as
quickly. This, she links, is a direct result of their transient lifestyle. Third, she
relates that all TCKs seem to be similar in their expanded world view. While
53
Kate A. Walters, "A Story to Tell: The Identity Development of Women
Growing Up as Third Culture Kids " (master's thesis, Trinity Western University,
2006), 29
54
55
Barringer, "Counseling Third Culture Kids," 7
12
immersed overseas, TCKs come to learn about the “common fundamental
humanness” that all people share, regardless of race, ethnicities, or cultures.
Through their multicultural experiences, TCKs realize that it is possible to
“maintain their own personal truth” while acknowledging that truths exist in
different contexts, unconsciously becoming more understanding of other
peoples‟ beliefs. Therefore, a commonality between TCKs seems to be their
strong sense of understanding, empathy, sympathy, and concern with others. 56
Lastly, Ramsey states that a common TCK theme is their cultural
marginality. 57 Especially noted during their similar experiences of reverse
culture shock during their repatriation process, TCKs feel as if they do not
belong to one specific culture, which can make the TCKs “feel at home
nowhere.”58 This vulnerability is most prevalent through the encounter stage
in Schaetti‟s TCK identity development model. However, this cultural
marginality can also allow TCKs to balance and internalize multiple cultures,
giving them the powerful ability to grasp cultural understandings and insights
imperceptible to monocultural people. 59
As investigated by psychologists, these themes can have both
positive and negative consequences for TCKs. Carolyn Fox Barringer,
psychologist and counselor for TCKs, states that only TCKs themselves can
control the consequences of their multiculturalism by making use of their
unique skills during adulthood.60
Reactions to the TCK Experience
David Pollock and Ruth Van Reken summarize three of the most
common, characteristic reactions TCKs display as they experience their cross
cultural lives. First, the authors group a quality of “chameleons- those who try
to find a „same as‟ identity.” 61 These TCKs blend into their surroundings,
hiding their differences. Conforming externally through the way they speak,
dress, and behave, these TCKs are many times mistaken as native members of
the specific community they are in. They camouflage all traces of their time
lived in other places. These TCKs are often noted as having the fullest
immersion into host cultures, participating fully in school and community
events. However, some note that they live a double life, with a fear of being
“found out.”
The second reaction group is on the other end of the spectrum: the
“screamers- those who try to find a „different from‟ identity.” These TCKs,
often from the moment they meet someone, will project an “I am different
from you and do not want to be you” attitude. They are often perceived as
arrogant to those around them, and either cut themselves or are cut out of
56
Barbara F. Schaetti, and Sheila J. Ramsey. "The Global Nomad Experience: Living in Liminality." Transition Dynamics -- A Consultancy Serving the
International Expatriate Community. 1999. Web. 28 June 2011. <http://www.transition-dynamics.com/liminality.html>.
58
59
Stultz, Wendy. "Global and Domestic Nomads or Third Culture Kids: Who Are They and What the University Needs to Know." 2002. Colorado State
University, Colorado.
60
61
57
13
relationships with people from their host and home culture. Many “screamers”
are noted to withdraw from their community, which often leads to “deep
loneliness.” Intense evaluations of these TCKs reveal that their behavior is a
coping mechanism to “keep true to themselves.” However, in their mission to
proclaim their “true identity,” Pollock and Reken reveal that they just adopt an
“anti-identity” and destroy numerous opportunities of the advantages and
benefits of living a trans-cultural life, like friendships and cultural exchange. 62
Lastly, the TCK specialists name a group they call the “wallflowersthose who try to find a „non-identity.‟” These TCKs do not like being the
center of attention. They retreat to the sidelines rather than risk embarrassment
or shame of not knowing the local cultural standards. Watching from afar,
they do not engage actively in their community. Those with this characteristic
reaction are most prone to fall into depression. 63
Practical Skills
TCKs are also known for their characteristic cross cultural, social,
and linguistic skills that result from their international lifestyle.
Cross-cultural skills
One of the greatest advantages of their distinct lifestyles, TCKs
develop sensitivity to the deepest layers of cultures. They manifest true
understanding of cultures outwardly, through their ability to switch between
greeting bows, handshakes, to customary pecks on the check, as well as
inwardly, through their ability to successively observe and connect with
different groups of people. Their experience growing up among different races,
types, and cultured people truly makes them appreciate diversity and trains
them to become natural mediator- bridges between different cultures. 64
Recently, TCKs have been greatly noted by international businesses
as models of prime employees. 65 Their history of global awareness and
adaptability to change is a great asset in this multicultural world. Their skills
have led some of the leading firms in the world to specifically scout them. 66
When Tachi Yamada, M.D., president of the Bill & Melinda Gates
Foundation‟s Global Health Program was asked how he hired people in a New
York Times interview, he said:
“You have to have people in an organization who are willing to truly embrace
change… I’ve made an observation about people. There are people who have
moved. Take somebody who’s a child of an Army officer — they will have
moved 10 times in their lives. And then there are people who’ve been born
and raised and educated and employed in one town their whole lives. Who do
you think is willing to change? I think, in this modern world, you really have
62
"Global Nomads: Pros and Cons." WorldWeave. Web. 28 June 2011. <http://www.worldweave.com/procon.htm#anchor5234989>.
65
H L m
J
m , "A f m “th - t
k ” th
b
xp t t ?" Career Development International 9, no. 2 (2004): 114,
Proquest Historical.
66
63
64
14
to be sure that your work force has the experience of being elsewhere. That
experience then has the ability to ensure that you will be comfortable with
change.”67
A TCK himself, Yamada praises the global nomad‟s willingness to embrace
change and enthusiasm to try new things out. In this way, the TCK‟s cross
cultural abilities are a true benefit in the work field. 68
Social Skills
Because they so often glide from one community to another, TCKs
are, almost by habit, well adapted to making friends. With feelings of inner
confidence as well self reliance, their life of repetitive change often trains
them to approach new people more easily than those who grow up in one
place. 69 Furthermore, their transient lifestyle bestows them with numerous
experiences that not even many adults can have. Because of these many
experiences, TCKs can seem older than their age, or more mature. 70 They can
hold their ground in intellectual conversations, keep eye contact with adults,
and display etiquette more adeptly than their monocultural friends. These
social skills, like their cross cultural skills, are advantages in the TCK‟s future
career.71
Linguistic Skills
Linguistic skills are one of the most noticeable and, in fact, useful
talents of TCKs. Because TCKs move when they are “kids,” they have the
opportunity to learn and use second languages with ease. 72 Almost impossible
to teens or adults who learn a new language, TCKs have daily access to
members of host cultures who can help them develop fluency and facility with
the language and can even learn to speak the language like a native. Moreover,
studies show that study of the grammar in one language greatly aides
grammatical understanding in the next, which explains the multilingual
abilities of many TCKs.
TCK Issues
“When a tree is transplanted too often, its roots can never grow deep. So it is
with these young people.”73
Along with the numerous talents they pick up along their journey,
TCKs can also harbor many problems, as well. Issues that range from
rootlessness and restlessness, alienation, protective behaviors, to unresolved
67
T h Y m , "T k t
I’ T
ff y Ph
" t v w by A m B y t, New York Times, February 27, 2010, New York Times Archives.
“Third culture kids." Global Culture. Web. 17 May 2011. http://global-culture.org/third-culture-kids/.
Storti, The art of Crossing Cultures, 108
69
70
“Generation Wallpaper - A tribe of newly affluent global nomads has a magazine to tell them who they are." The New York Times. Web. 17 May 2011.
<http://www.nytimes.com/1998/09/06/style/generation-wallpaper-tribe-newly-affluent-global-nomads-has-magazine-tellthem.html?scp=2&sq=global%20nomad&st=cse>.
71
72
Storti, The Art of Crossing Cultures, 97
73
David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken, Third Culture Kids (Boston: Nicholas Brealey Publishing , 2001), 71
68
15
grief (briefly discussed during the “TCK Experience” section) can be
detrimental to the growth of TCKs into adulthood.
Rootlessness and Restlessness
Feelings of rootlessness and restlessness affect almost every TCK,
but the degree to which it affects global nomads depends on “how many times
their family moved and whether or not their kept a home base.”74Very often,
for very mobile TCKs, their sense of home and belonging begin to shift from
geographical bearings to relationships with other people, whether it be friends,
family members, or community mentors. With every trip, TCKs seem to
harness a “migratory instinct”: Pollock says that chronic rootlessness leads to
and is combined with restlessness. 75
As maintained by counselor Carolyn Barringer, the consequence
when “associations with home have little to do with a place” is that “TCKs
may feel no roots to one place as an adult.” 76 According to the research
conducted by Dr. Ruth Hill Useem and Dr. Ann Baker Cottrell in 1993, two
significant figures in the TCK field, this rootlessness and restlessness can have
grave effects on TCKs. Their findings revealed that although the likelihood of
TCKs attending university was almost four times higher than the chance of
domestic U.S. children, only one half of the global nomads went on to
graduate and of those who did graduate, more than half were noted of
transferring schools multiple times during their undergraduate schooling.
Rootless and restless, TCKs state their numerous reasons of leaving or
transferring schools: some “never [felt] welcome” to the colleges they
attended, others wished to travel and see more of the world, and a select few
stated that they just could not connect to the “institutional culture” of the
schools.77 Beyond college, studies by Cottrell note that TCKs in their mid to
late twenties have a difficult time focusing their life aims, figuring out where
they want to live, and ultimately deciding if they want to settle down in the
long run and start a family. However, when they finally get employed and
commit to a specific career choice, TCKs are noted to move every three to
five years, continuing their cross cultural lifestyles. 78
Alienation
In a survey of 700 TCKs ranging from twenty five to eighty years of
age, 90% reported feeling “out of sync” with their peers.79 Pollock describes
that when TCKs repatriate, they often feel like “hidden immigrants”- though
they look akin to neighboring community members and are in a sense,
accepted by them, their thoughts are often vastly different. Due to their lack of
74
77
78
Ann Baker Cotrell and Ruth Hill Useem. "TCKs Experience Prolonged Adolescence." TCK World: The Official Home of Third Culture Kids. 11 Apr. 1999. Web.
<http://www.tckworld.com/useem/art3.html>.
79
Ann Baker Cotrell and Ruth Hill Useem. "TCKs Experience Prolonged Adolescence." TCK World: The Official Home of Third Culture Kids. 11 Apr. 1999. Web.
75
76
16
language skills or telltale accents, deviations from the standard behaviors of
that particular society, and often starkly differing values or worldviews, TCKs
may feel internally alien and foreign although externally, they fit right in with
the community.80 These feelings of difference often alienate TCKs from the
community: approximately 40% of TCKs have difficulties creating close
friendships or intimacy.81 TCK author Linda Bell quotes, “sometime- for the
first time- [TCKs] meet peers who haven‟t moved, haven‟t had to make new
friends, haven‟t learned how to adapt…[W]hen internationally mobile
children come against this situation, they tend to withdraw, retreat,
marginalize.”82
Figure 5:
Pollock and Van Reken’s Diagram
Description of Hidden Immigrants
Unresolved Grief
“For most TCKs the collection of significant losses and separations before the
end of adolescence is often more than most people experience in a lifetime.” 83
David Pollock made this stunning quotation in his first book about
TCKs. Due to the very richness of their lives, TCKs often face immense pains
every time they leave a familiar community. Therefore, as they carry on into
their incredible multicultural lives, they always carry around with them the
burden of unresolved grief.
As a result of their nomadic lifestyle, TCKs have countless lossesboth tangible and intangible- that build up this unresolved grief. With one
plane ride, a TCK‟s world is flipped around, and they must, as demonstrated
through the TCK Transition Experience, learn to readjust during the transition
and entering stages. Starting from possessions, to pets, to schools, to friends,
and even family members, tangible losses are, though devastating, more easily
recognized and acknowledged than the intangible, abstract costs of the TCKs
experience. More significant to the amassment of unresolved grief are the
hidden loses of TCKs. Ranging from the loss of their entire former world,
lifestyle, status, relationships, role models, system identity, history, to their
future in their former society, the “past that wasn‟t,” their grief is multiple,
simultaneous, intense, unresolved, and lonely. These invisible losses greatly
affect TCKs because there is no official rite of passage to recognize their
presence and peoples‟ acknowledgement of the said losses: there is no funeral.
80
Linda Bell, Hidden Immigrants: Legacies of Growing Up Abroad (West and the Wider World Series, Vol 11)(Notre Dame, Cross Cultural Publications, 1997),
63
83
David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken, Third Culture Kids (Boston: Nicholas Brealey Publishing , 2001), 71
81
82
17
TCKs often live their entire lives hauling unresolved grief from one culture to
the next.
Nevertheless, even when losses are recognized, other factors can
block TCK from healthy resolutions to grief. Unresolved grief may also stem
from lack of permission to grieve, lack of time to process, and lack of comfort
during the moves in a TCK‟s life.84 First, TCKs may not be allowed to grieve
for a number of different reasons. Through their many moves, TCKs are often
expected to be “brave soldiers” especially in the missionary and military
subgroup- they get a direct message that tells them that it is not okay to be
scared or sad. Moreover, for many TCKs with internationally influential
parents serving noble causes [saving the country from war, representing the
government on delicate negotiations, and preaching salvation to a lost
world 85] and sacrificing so much, they cannot admit their grief because, in
their mindset, to do so would be shameful. Instead, these TCKs train to create
facades of smiles to disguise the negativity they are feeling and conform to the
behavior of their current community.
Second, unresolved grief can also be a consequence of the TCK‟s
insufficient time to acknowledge, process, and accept loss- before they can get
over specific grief they are on a plane to the next country. With today‟s
airplanes, TCKs receive only a few hours to truly name, deal with, and come
to a closure with their enormous losses. 86 The moment they land, they must
again rapidly adapt and conform to a new set of societal codes and TCKs have
no time to grieve.
Lastly, lack of comfort is a significant contributing factor to
unresolved grief. In a well-intentioned gesture, parents often encourage their
children not to grieve or negate the mixed emotions that their children are
experiencing instead of comforting and acknowledging the fears and sadness.
Common themes of encouragement-not comfort- result when parents tell their
kids “Don‟t worry. You‟ll make friends in no time,” insinuating that their
children should not be sad, or “Dad‟s new job is going to help scores of poor
people,” explaining why the TCK should not complain about a few hardships
when there is a greater good to worry about. These actions can leave children
with the ideas of burying their pains and wearing a mask. 87
Ultimately, grief is a natural process and a productive way to deal
with fears and sadness. However, when one accumulates this grief with no
resolution, and these overwhelming feelings are stored in the deepest parts of
one‟s identity, unresolved grief turns destructive and can manifest into denial,
anger, bargaining, depression, withdrawal, rebellion, vicarious grief, to
delayed grief.88 Healthy ways to reconcile unresolved grief are explained later
in the “Supporting TCKs” section.
84
Knell, Burn-up or Splash Down,102
87
Pollock and Van Reken, Third Culture Kids, 83
88
85
86
18
TCK Research
Drs. Useem and Cottrell
To this date, noted TCK sociologists Dr. Useem and Dr. Cottrell
have conducted the most extensive research in the TCK field. Through a
series of five report articles that included a twenty-four page survey, in 19931994, the two anthropologists examined the data that they collected from
seven hundred American TCKs, aged twenty five to eighty years old. 89
Asking about the TCKs‟ international childhoods as well as their subsequent
growth into adulthood, Useem and Cottrell were able paint a portrait of
TCKs.90 They defined the adult TCKs with four distinctive characteristics: 1)
TCKs continue their internationally mobile lifestyles or cross cultural
involvement into adulthood, 2) adult TCKs note feeling more flexible and
relatable than monocultural peers, 3) adult TCKs take on roles of mediators
and problem solvers, and 4) grown TCKs feel different but not isolated. 91
They received overwhelmingly positive reflections of the TCK experience,
but realized there were strong undertones of issues, as well.
Phillips Academy
Aiming to conduct research myself, I narrowed my focus specifically
to TCKs attending Phillips Academy, an independent boarding school in
Andover, Massachusetts whose mission is to educate qualified “youth from
every corner.” 92 Selecting twenty students, aged fourteen to nineteen, who
were noted to have lived abroad by the school‟s records, I conducted a series
of video recorded interviews that lasted anywhere between five minutes to
two hours, depending on the interviewees willingness to share their
information (refer to the Appendix to see the questions that became the
backbone of my interviews). Tracking to see the level of TCK awareness on
the campus as well as potential ways to support these global nomads, I
carefully analyzed my data to see if it was consistent with that of Dr. Useem
and Dr. Cottrell, or if there were new trends and patterns in this significantly
more globalized world. Furthermore, one of my top priorities was to see how
the boarding school experience specifically affected globally inclined students.
Surprisingly, despite the technological breakthroughs, leaps in
transportation, and virtually instant communication of today, the TCKs I
interviewed revealed strikingly similar views as the characteristics from the
TCKs studied more than a decade before. Furthermore, the interviewees,
although boarding school students, expressed similar characteristics as those
TCKs who attended international or local schools. Similar to the results of the
adult TCK survey by Useem and Cottrell, all but one of my interviewees
planned to continue their international lifestyles. Many displayed the
characteristic restlessness quality in TCKs, saying, “I cannot imagine settling
89
Carolyn Fox Barringer. "Counseling Third Culture Kids." Annual Conference of the American Counseling Association in 2000. ERDS
A B k C t
R th H U m, “A t Th C t
K ,” 33
92
"Youth from Every Corner." Phillips Academy. Web. 28 June 2011.
<http://www.andover.edu/PurposePassion/YouthFromEveryQuarter/Pages/DiscoverSomethingDifferent.aspx>.
90
91
19
down.” Furthermore, when asked if they would raise their own kids as TCKs,
all but two students replied that they thought international exposure was a top
priority. Also similar to the results of the two anthropologists‟ studies was the
TCKs positive outlook to their experience. The interviewees unanimously
answered, “Positive,” when asked, “Overall, how would you characterize your
TCK experience (largely negative or positive)?”
To further delve into this phenomenon, I organized a “TCK Meeting”
with Phillips Academy‟s International Club and Asian Society to continue my
research (refer to the Appendix for the Meeting‟s Agenda). Through this
meeting, open to anyone interested in the topic but specifically aimed towards
students with international experiences, I wanted to observe a larger sample
size of internationally experienced and globally nomadic students. Through
opening with of showing Tina Quick‟s “Les Passages” [a documentary about
TCKs], conducting a quick introduction of the TCK definitions, and
facilitating a group discussion, I was able to solidly conclude that “TCK” was
not a commonly known term, even for some TCKs who have lived in over ten
different countries. Though students had an idea of the general term, no one
could provide a specific, accurate definition. Once discussed, three students
talked to me after the meeting reporting common feelings of belonging after
knowing that there was a term to describe their experience. Furthermore,
through the meeting, my results from the twenty interviews proved solid, as
the approximately forty meeting attendees disagreed with the negative aspects
portrayed in Tina Quick‟s “Les Passages,” and instead argued that the TCK
experience was almost wholly positive. 93
However, also similar to the results of the extensive survey, from the
interviews and meeting that I conducted, I could sense an undercurrent of
common TCK issues. One student who specifically stood out to me during my
interviews displayed the TCK attribute of restlessness and detachment,
indicating a significant amount of repressed unresolved grief. Telling me that
he could not imagine staying in one place for more than three years, he
planned to leave Phillips Academy after finishing his junior year and attend a
school overseas for his senior year. While there were numerous other reasons
for the decision, including language emersion and creating a greater network
of friends, he ultimately explained, “I get bored living in one place for too
long.” Furthermore, he stated that attachment is one of his biggest issues.
Because of his multiple moves since childhood, he said that he always had to
quickly make and lose friends. For this reason, when it comes to relationships,
from friends to even family members, he says he cannot fully commit and has
no problem “just leaving.” However, when asked about how he would
characterize his TCK experience, he said it was overwhelmingly positive and
even said that he would definitely raise his own children as TCKs.
Analyzing my data, I contemplated the TCKs‟ overpoweringly
positive reviews of their transient lifestyles. First, as the students attend
93
“Les Passages: A TCK Story on Vimeo." Vimeo, Video Sharing For You. Web. 30 Jan. 2011. <http://vimeo.com/11658942>.
20
Phillips Academy, a highly selective institution, I concluded that my
interviewees were generally TCKs who fit into the “chameleon” category,
easily blending in, adapting to, and enjoying new situations. I inferred that the
TCKs who were accepted into the academy displayed the best of TCK
characteristics.
Secondly, I realized that the responses were overwhelmingly positive
because those who are, in fact, struggling, would have been hesitant to admit
that to a video camera, as well as a whole group of other students in the case
of the TCK meeting. Especially for students with issues of unresolved grief,
exposing their suppressed fears and sadness can cause releases of great
internal pains. Also, as the meeting was open to everyone in the community
but focused on a very specific topic, the students who attended were most
likely students with positive cross cultural experiences who wanted to learn
more about their own experiences. According to research, those with the most
problems tend to withdraw from meetings and activities in their community
and refuse to delve into their identity for fear of more hurt.
Third, referencing a common manifestation of unresolved grief, I
concluded that many Phillips Academy students might experience delayed
grief later in their lives. A theme continuously expressed in numerous TCK
accounts, such as those in Home Keeps Moving: A Glimpse into the
Extraordinary Life of a Third Culture Kid by Heidi Sand-Hart, Unrooted
Childhoods Memoirs of Growing Up Global by Faith Eidse and Nina Sichel,
and Strangers at Home: Essays on the Effects of Living Overseas and Coming
"Home" to a Strange Land by Carolyn Smith, psychologists explain that
TCKs “may go through life without showing or consciously feeling any
particular sadness and then suddenly find to their great surprise that a
seemingly small incident triggers a huge reaction.”94 Triggers such as a child‟s
first day at school, the end of a long term relationship, or even a movie scene
can cause great emotional outpours in TCKs. Although they may feel fine
now, I believe TCKs should brace themselves and learn ways to deal with the
effects of unresolved and delayed grief.
Lastly, I must put into account the extreme restrictiveness of my
sample size. Interviewing only twenty students and conducting a meeting with
approximately forty students, I cannot, to any degree, state that my research
represents the whole spectrum of the TCK experience. This could be a critical
factor to the significantly positive reflections of the TCK experience.
After my research, I deduced that intimate sharing of experiences and
awareness of a community of similar people is most beneficial to TCKs.
Therefore, at Phillips Academy, I, with the help of Phillip‟s Academy‟s
International Student Coordinator, Ms. Susanne Torabi, brought five different
TCKs together to create a focus group for TCKs. With the success of this
group, I went on to create the “Global Nomad‟s Group,” an affinity group that
acts as a branch of the school‟s International Club, with the support of the
94
21
group members and my advisor. Information about this can be found in the
“Supporting TCKs” section. With this affinity group, I conducted a TCK
awareness workshop for the International Student Orientation of the 20112012 year, educating around students about the basics of TCK history,
language, and characteristics.
Supporting TCKs
Knowing the Language
The first step to supporting TCKs, Dr. Barbara Schaetti reveals, is
teaching them the language of their experiences. Through research, Schaetti
found that giving a name to the mobile life style, such as “Third Culture Kids”
or “global nomad,” greatly aided TCKs in feeling more unified and normal,
and gave them a stronger sense of belonging in a community. Those TCKs
with the greatest transition experiences were introduced to the language of
growing up globally while they were living overseas or shortly after they
repatriated.95
Establishing Relationships
It is also important to build a solid foundation for TCKs, a sense of
stability, amidst their nomadic lifestyle through establishing good
relationships. The closest unit that can provide stability in a TCK‟s life is his
or her immediate family. It is essential that TCKs have positive relations with
their family members in order to have a good transition experience, whether it
is parent to parent, parent to TCK, or TCK to sibling. These family members
can act as a column, a spiritual core, for TCKs: as David Pollock and Ruth
Van Reken related, “In a world where moral values and practices can be
radically different from one place to another, this block of maintaining
constancy of identifiable core beliefs and values is the key to true stability
throughout life.” 96 In this way, although everything from the language to
customs, to food, to societal codes can change from each individual place they
live, TCKs can always rely on the core of their family. Therefore, in the
interviews I conducted of twenty TCKs at Phillips Academy, when I asked
TCKs what helped them get through the tough times, the answer unanimously
had to do with family members, whether it was parents, brother, or sister.
Another vital aide for TCKs during their cross cultural experiences is
to find them a good mentor, someone who can act as a “bridge” between
cultures. The amount and time of stress and acclimation can greatly be
reduced if there is a “big brother” figure or just a friend in the host culture
who can answer TCKs‟ question, introduce them to the community, and give
them tips on the unspoken rules and standards of the new culture. Even
through multiple moves, this mentor or friend figure can act as a figure of
stability for TCKs. Furthermore, in today‟s technological society, it is easier
than ever to keep in touch with friends anywhere on the globe. Through Skype,
95
96
22
instant messaging programs, and Facebook, TCKs can keep up with their
friends.97
TCKs must also develop connections with the cultures they
encounter. Agencies working with TCKs cited the benefits of creating ties
with both the host community and the home community. In the host
community, many specialists encourage TCK families to adopt “extended
family” members in the local community or with other TCKs, substitutes for
the TCK‟s aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Through creating opportunities
through parties, special occasions, or get-togethers, TCKs can foster
relationships with this “created” family, ultimately giving them the feeling of
“growing up in a close community.” However, more importantly, TCK
guardians must help TCKs keep in touch with these “extended family”
members, even when they move to a different country or repatriate. 98
Moreover, in terms of physical connections to the cultures they have
encountered, psychologists advocate acquiring “sacred objects” that can act as
portable representations of the TCK‟s history. 99 Whether it is a souvenir,
painting, lamp, or postcard, these objects can help TCKs “connect all the
places and experiences of their lives. Furthermore, TCKs should maintain a
strong bond with their home or passport culture. While overseas, it may be a
good habit for TCKs to return to the same home on their vacations. It is
always good to physical sense of a home. Returning to the same neighborhood,
to the same house, to the same bed, can relieve some of the stress of TCKs.100
Ultimately, these relationships are extremely beneficial for TCKs in
the whole, as they give them a stable core to rely on. Through these bonds
with numerous people, places, and cultures, TCKs can develop a relational
sense of belonging or normalness.
The Transition “Home”: Leaving Well and Entering Well
Often the most difficult of all transitions, repatriating requires special
attention for global nomads. 101Although TCKs distinguish themselves from
other immigrant groups by living with the assumption that they will one day
return permanently “home,” once the internationally experienced children go
through this awaited reentry, they may confront a number of unexpected
stresses, including finding out that their home country is not the “dream
world” that they had believed it to be or reverse culture shock, discovering
that they need to go through the same process of culture relearning as they did
when they lived abroad. 102 These following stresses can weigh heavily on
TCKs, as they may have a hard time relating to their monocultural peers,
realize that this “home” that they envisioned all throughout their life is not as
dear to them as they had thought, experience homesickness for their host
cultures, and feel ignorant and vulnerable because of their lack of practical life
97
100
101
Smith, Strangers at Home,110
102
Marion Knell, Burn-Up or Splash Down: Surviving the Culture Shock of Re-Entry (Tyrone, GA: Authentic, 2007), 8
98
99
23
skills and common communal values.103 These surprising turn of events can
cause TCKs to develop elevated fears, excessive anger, a sense of elitism, and
depression in their passport nation. 104
Although there is no one specific way to solve all repatriation issues
in TCKs, different counselors have multiple varied approaches to helping the
global nomads. One of the most complex aspects of this specific move, founder
of Global Nomads International Norma McCaig explains, is the conflicting
views of parents and children. Although parents are finally returning to their
home, their internationally raised children might just be entering their parent‟s
home. As one TCK parent related, “For my children, home is just another
somewhere.”105 In many cases, parents may be returning home but their kids
may be leaving home. Therefore, to alleviate these clear conflicting perceptions
and expectations of home that can cause divisions and conflicts in the transition
process, McCaig recommends that those around TCKs first accept that the
global nomad‟s international childhood has shaped them into belonging to
another culture, second are realistic about how and when to expect the TCKs to
assimilate to their “home country,” and third, allow the TCKs themselves to be
realistic about their adjustment. 106 As the research team comprised of Drs.
Useem, Cottrell, and Jordan stated, “The answer to the question of how long it
takes [TCKs] to adjust to [their passport country‟s lifestyle] is: They never
adjust. They adapt, they find niches, they take risks, they fail and pick
themselves up again… As one woman put it, I don‟t feel different, I AM
different.” 107 Those closest to TCKs, especially parents, should help TCKs
understand that it is okay not to completely identify with one culture; they
should encourage TCKs to see that a cultural identity can be compartmentalized
globally or to another country-that it is okay to become a citizen of the world. 108
To support TCKs during this unstable time, parents, peers, and
mentors can use strategies to guide global nomads through these distinct
circumstances. First, it is always critical to keep communicating with TCKs.
To help alleviate numerous issues, such as anxiety or unresolved grief, those
near TCKs should encourage them to express their reactions, feelings, and
observations. Second, the process should include collaboration between TCKs
and their family members. Often times, TCKs feel powerless in the face of the
great decisions of their life. Having no control over their parent‟s overseas
assignments and in turn, their own lives many TCKs fall into problems such
as depression or eating disorders. To prevent the buildup of feelings of
vulnerability in TCKs, parents should, if possible, include their children in the
discussion of moves as early as possible so they feel like they have somewhat
a grasp on their lives and also can have time to prepare themselves for the
move. Third, TCKs should feel closure before they return “home.” Often
103
“For Teens, It's a Tough Transition." The New York Times.Web. 17 May 2011. <http://www.nytimes.com/2004/06/26/news/26ihtrteen_ed3_.html?scp=7&sq=third%20culture%20kid&st=cse>.
104
105
106
107
“Th C t
K :F
f
j
t y ” Newslinks. March 1994. www.tckworld.com/useem.
108
“Transition Dynamics - A Consultancy Serving the International Expatriate and Repatriate Community." Transition Dynamics - A Consultancy Serving the
International Expatriate Community. Web. 30 Jan. 2011. <http://www.transition-dynamics.com/home.html>.
24
parents neglect the need for closure in their children‟s life, either because they
are unaware or unwilling to face the deep feelings that accompany the
procedure. It is vital for families to allow global nomads to grieve, to express
their fears and sadness. Some counselors even recommend throwing good-bye
parties every time a family leaves a country.
How Schools Can Help
Schools, such as boarding schools or universities, can greatly aid
their TCK students in a number of relatively easy ways. Currently, schools are
accepting more and more TCKs into their campuses but are not addressing the
students‟ needs, mostly because global nomads do not fit into the prototypical
international student model. Often hidden immigrants at these institutions,
TCKs may seemingly blend in with the local students or typical international
students, but have deeper complexities that can espouse problems with peers
and teachers alike: They may not fit in, project arrogance, relate differently,
and lack belonging with those around them. Teachers may have a hard time
understanding why the supposed American girl is struggling with elementary
grammar problems: little does he know, she grew up in Sierra Leone,
attending a local school run by missionaries where the standards were very
different. Friends might be completely taken aback by the TCK‟s complete
lack of knowledge of popular culture: “You don‟t know who Britney Spears
is?” Too often, as explained by restlessness and rootlessness, TCKs change
schools three or four times before they graduate if they even graduate at all.
Worse, TCKs have an elevated chance of becoming depressed and may even
develop suicidal tendencies. 109
Therefore, schools should create support systems to recognize and
affirm TCKs. One simple way for schools to immensely aid the global
nomads‟ effective transition to their institution is to, first, identify incoming
TCKs, and second, hold a gathering, meeting, or orientation specifically for
TCKs. At this gathering, new global nomads can meet with others who share
their experience, introduce themselves to older TCKs who are a few years
ahead of them in the school, and learn the language of their experience, which
can trigger the “exploration stage” in their identity development. This way,
not only will they be meeting new friends that they connect well to, but also
begin acquiring mentors and great knowledge about their experiences.110
It is also extremely beneficial to create sustainable, long term support
systems, as well. After the initial meeting or orientation for TCKs, many
schools recently have created mentoring programs for TCKs as well as
permanent TCK groups that meet on a regular basis. Through these ties,
global nomads can be eased into their new settings and feel more stable with
someone to go to for help. Furthermore, schools can hold informational
meetings, workshops, or check ins throughout the year to see how the first
109
110
Tina Quick, "Neither Domestic Nor Domestic: How Universities Can Support the Global Nomad" (NASFA Annual Conference 2011 in Vancouver).
25
year TCKs are transitioning, making sure no is falling through the cracks.
TCKs can be made aware of the reentry shocks and stresses, and share their
experiences with others. Moreover, through these clubs, advisors and mentors
can continually aid the personal growth of TCKs as well as encouraging those
who are inclined to withdraw to actively commit to the present.
Lastly, to look after their internationally experienced students,
schools should have resources available. Valuable sources include guidance or
mental health counselors who understand the issues that confront global
nomads, a list of books, website, and other resources about the TCK
experience, as well as alternative activities or programs for these overseas
students during short school vacations or Parent‟s Weekend. Schools help the
most when they support TCKs find or build a community and validate this
extraordinary experience, not only affirming the experience to the TCKs at
their campuses but also spreading the awareness all across the student body. 111
How Parents Can Help
The parents’ role in facilitating smooth transitions for Third
Culture Kids is increasingly important. Please refer to the Appendix“Susanne Torabi’s Tips for Parents” for more information.
Phillips Academy’s TCK Support
Starting from my sophomore year at Phillips Academy when I
learned that I was a global nomad, I was so surprised at the affirmation and
empowerment I developed from just discovering one term: Third Culture Kid.
Therefore, after I explored and research this topic for myself, I discussed ways
to support other TCKs at our school with our Community and Multicultural
Development Office advisors. After numerous discussions and meetings,
especially with our International Student Coordinator and advisor for this
research project, Susanne Torabi, we were able to put together a small focus
group of TCKs in the winter of 2010. Looking through a list of multicultural
students at our school, I contacted a few who I thought would be interested
and more willing to share their experiences in a small group setting. Aiming to
create a safe, intimate setting for this small focus group, the group of us and
our advisor met over dinner. I wanted to see how this gathering would play
out and ask the other TCKs for suggestions to improve this affinity group.
After just thirty minutes, many of us who were at first mere acquaintances
created strong connections and bonds through our similar stories. Briefly
defining the terms and characteristics about TCKs, I acted as a facilitator and
was pleasantly surprised at just how open everyone was about their
experiences. Discussing everything from relationships, to re-entry shocks, to
how we defined home, we were able to get to know each other at a deeper
level. After the meeting ended, many members of the group approached me
and told me that “a light bulb went off” for them.
111
Tina Quick, "Neither Domestic Nor Domestic: How Universities Can Support the Global Nomad" (NASFA Annual Conference 2011 in Vancouver).
26
With the success of the focus group and through the collaboration of
our members, we decided that the group could be benefited by more members
with greater awareness for more TCKs. Therefore, working again with our
passionate advisor, I, with our members, created the Global Nomads Group,
an affinity group for TCKs to affirm and raise awareness about their
experiences (Refer to the Appendix for the Global Nomad Group‟s Mission
Statement). This club has become a branch of our school‟s International Club
and already has thirty members registered. Although we are in our formative
stages, we have taken great strides of improvement. We are the only boarding
high school to have taken these measures to helping our global nomads.
Furthermore, I conducted a TCK meeting in our students‟
International Orientation on September 9, 2011. Through this introductory
meeting, I, with three other TCK group leaders, raised awareness about the
TCK phenomenon through videos, skits, and brief lectures, as well as creating
opportunities for the incoming global nomads to connect with each other as
well as making ourselves available for questions. I showed incoming TCKs
the importance of becoming conscious of one‟s own identity as well as
introduced them to the new TCK affinity group as an added layer of support.
The attendees of this workshop reported to me that they felt affirmed and
empowered, and used the term “Third Culture Kid‟ as a means to describe
themselves throughout the schoolyear.
Conclusion
Three decades ago, sociologist Dr. Ted Ward predicted that third
culture kids were the prototype citizens of the future. However, this future is
waiting by our doorstep, as multiculturalism, even confined to one community,
is becoming the norm rather than the exception. With the rise of prominent
TCKs, most notably U.S. President Barrack Obama, but also founder of
Amazon.com Jeff Beznos, and even popular rapper Wiz Khalifa, traditional
assumptions of what it means to be part of a culture, or a nationality, or race
are continually challenged. These globally raised children have been formed
by a number of different cultures, and therefore, do not have one fixed identity.
As David Pollock stated, “[TCKs] lead to some awareness that old categories
of identity are no longer sufficient for today‟s world.”
Therefore, we must embrace these TCKs, as they are becoming a
microcosm of what is accelerating in this day and age. Raised with global
cultural mixing, TCKs can become an indication of the consequences of
globalization: they can display both the numerous advantages as well as the
challenges of multiculturalism. We must realize that TCKs may be, as Ruth
Van Reken explains, “the first results of a great, but not fully explored,
cultural shift of our changing world- the difference between being raised in a
monocultural environment or a many layered cultural setting.”
TCKs, by the nature of their life experiences, are trained to become
global citizens as well as leaders of this international world. With their
expanded world view, acceptance of others‟ humanity, as well as their learned
27
abilities to become bridge builders, I feel that it is important to support and
nourish this frequently overlooked group. Too often grouped by their
nationalities, the amazing hidden diversity and experiences of these students
are covered up and brushed aside. Therefore, parents, mentors, teachers, and
schools should support TCKs in their journeys, providing them with the
“language and understanding to an experience lived” but largely unnamed.
We must help TCKs maximize their incredible experiences and lend a hand to
prevent them from falling through the cracks. In the end, homogenous and
singular cultures will not be the world of tomorrow. TCKs, trained from
childhood, are well equipped and prepared for this tomorrow.
Author’s Remarks
Researching the topic of Third Culture Kids has been a deeply
personal journey for me. Through this project, I was able to dig deep into all
different kinds of research, starting from newspapers editorials from the
parents of TCKs to the dissertations of the most noted TCK sociologists.
Collecting this wealth of information, I was able to reflect on my life journey
that spanned five different cultures: Seoul, Nashville, Bethesda, Hong Kong,
and Andover. There were points during the process where I felt enlightened
and other points where I was afraid to read on, especially during articles of
unresolved grief. Reading many of the TCK books available on the market, I
felt as if the authors were talking directly to me. I almost felt as if they knew
the details to my entire multicultural life. However, truly looking into my own
TCK identity and transition experiences, I was able to feel gratitude to those
closest to me that always provided support. Through this project, I learned
new ways to resolve the burdens of grief that I have been unconsciously
carrying throughout my multiple moves, as well as strategies to guide others
to do the same.
Furthermore, I am so thankful for the opportunity to conduct research
TCK research at Phillips Academy. I realized, through this project, how much
diversity is hidden behind apparent facades. I was able to meet a whole
community of students who shared my unique experience, and in the process,
create an affinity group, as well.
In the end, this project has given me a lot of closure on the
uncertainties that have defined my identity. I feel more self aware and have
confronted the biggest obstacles of fear and grief in my mobile, cross cultural
life. Also through this project, I was able to interview and connect with a truly
close but unexpected subject: my dad. A TCK himself, growing up in England,
the Netherlands, and Korea, my father, who has always been very reserved
about his cross cultural childhood, opened up about his experiences and I was
able to realize just how much the TCK experience affects one‟s life as well as
the life of one‟s family. All in all, this project has been a great aid in my
realization of my past, present, as well as an indication of my future.
28
Acknowledgements
First, I want to thank my ever passionate, dedicated advisor Ms.
Susanne Torabi for her endless support and encouragement of this project. I
would also like to thank Ms. Aya Murata for introducing me to this eye
opening phenomenon and being such a great mentor in my identity
development. Furthermore, I am grateful to Ms. Linda Griffith for always
pushing me to challenge my own beliefs and views about multiculturalism.
Moreover, I would like to thank my parents, Sukjoon Richard Lee and
Shinduk Kang, for making my cross cultural journey smooth and exciting,
always being spiritual cores and friends through my life. Moreover, I would
really like to show my gratitude to the CAMD Scholars Program that truly
allowed me to explore multiple dimensions of this project. I need to also thank
all of my friends, mentors, and teachers who have truly made me the global
nomad I am today.
Lastly, I would like to thank the Abbot Academy Association. This
book is made possible by a grant from the Abbot Academy Association. The
Abbot Academy Association was founded upon the merger of Abbot
Academy and Phillips Academy in 1973. Abbot Academy was the oldest
incorporated school in the country for the higher education of young women.
The Abbot Academy Association seeks to foster and promote the legacy and
spirit of Abbot Academy on the campus and in the programs of Phillips
Academy.
Recommended Books
These books have been especially helpful in my understanding of Third
Culture Kids. If you are interested, they are all in the CAMD library!






For Students:
Third Culture Kids Revised Edition: The Experience of Growing Up
Among Worlds by David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken.
The Global Nomad's Guide To University Transition by Tina L.
Quick
Strangers At Home: Essays on the Effects of Living Overseas and
Coming "Home" to a Strange Land by Linda Bell
Home Keeps Moving by Heidi Sand-Hart
For Parents:
Raising Global Nomads: Parenting Abroad in an on Demand World
by Robin Pascoe
Notes from a Traveling Childhood: Readings for Internationally
Mobile Parents and Children by Karen McCluskey
29
Appendix
____________________________________________________________________________________
Ms. Torabi’s TIPS for Parents
I. Preparing and Supporting your Boarding School-Bound Child
“A m th
t p
t
b t p
t m k
g
Dorothy Fisher, 2003














y”
Dealing with long-distance parenting can be challenging.
Understanding and appreciating the new levels of parenting.
Knowing that your child will continue to need you, but in a different way. Your
child will need you when things get overwhelming, chaotic, confusing or
uncertain.
While your child will not always ask for your advice, s/he might rather want you
t
t t h m/h , p t
y wh
/h h ’t f
wg
f
y t
whom s/he can share his/her thoughts with.
R t th
g t b
“h
pt ” “b
”p
t by h v
g
v
clinging to your child.
As parents, you might deal with these transitions of being away from your child
differently, moving at different paces or even flip-flop back and forth between
stages. All that is normal.
Empty nest syndrome refers to the feelings of grief, sadness, loneliness, or loss
for parents or guardians, particularly women experience when their children
leave home. This is a normal and expected feeling, which can begin even before
the child or children have physically left the home. However, if you experience
symptoms of depression that prevent you from moving ahead in life, you should
consider seeking professional help.
Stay positive. Think about your future and your new-found freedom. Your child
will come back.
Understand that your child will grow up fast by living away from home,
becoming more independent and mature.
Think ahead and help your child to get ready for life and study at boarding school,
talk about what s/he needs to bring to campus.
Help your child to leave (home) well in order to enter (her/his new life at
boarding school) well. Before your child transitions to a new place, it is
important that s/he leaves her friends and family with a good feeling and no
unresolved issues at stake.
How to say farewell. Organize a Going-Away party for your child so that s/he can
leave home with a sense of closure.
Discuss with your child
- how you will communicate.
- what the allowance should be.
- which holidays s/he should come home and/or stay with the host family or
friends away from home.
Choose quality over quantity by using your times together more wisely.
30


Be mindful that you might have to adjust some house rules. Once your child
starts living own his/her own, s/he might develop different eating, studying,
sleeping and socializing patterns.
K w th t y
h ’ b h v
f
g b f
v g m ght b
mb
and not what you expected them to be. Understand that your child might
- become inseparable from his/her friends by choosing them over you and
not giving you enough time to deal with the important matters of getting
ready for school.
- let the pressure of graduation and school matriculation off by sleeping in
late, not being willing to contribute with household chores and/or filling out
those last few forms.
- deal with emotional mood swings that might create a distance between you
and your child.
- just want to be holding on to the stress and responsibility-free period
before the new life and study at boarding school away from home begins.
These kinds of behaviors are not necessarily conscious efforts but rather reflex
reactions to the anticipated pain of departure of your children – their pain and yours.
 Listen well and communicate often. Use open patterns of communication and
wait for the right moment when your child is ready to share and talk.
 Be available physically as well emotionally in case your child feels like talking.
 Try to avoid endless lectures or interrogations. Find effective ways to talk to your
child about what is on his or her mind and pave the way for meaningful
discussions that would be helpful before he or she leaves. This does not mean
that both of you need to sit down face-to-face to in the living room to get a point
across. Sometimes a car-ride can offers perfect opportunities to talk about
important issues, like laying out expectations in regards to academics, behavior,
allowance, and how you will stay in touch. You might also address important
m tt th t
t b t k
fb f
y
h ’
p t
II. Supporting your Child in his or her Transition to Life and Study at Boarding School
Parents of students living abroad have found the following information
useful in helping avoid unpleasant surprises and headaches down the road
to matriculation.
 Summer Addresses
If you plan to spend the summer in the US, make sure that the school has
y
mm
y w ’t m
y
f m t ,
such as orientation schedule, roommate, academic advisor and cluster
dean assignments.
 Parents’ Weekend
If you or another relat v
t tt
P
t’ W k
, h p y
child to be off campus or have a relative, a well-liked family friend or even
the host family visit your child for the weekend activities. This popular
weekend usually takes place in late October and comes right about the
time your student will most likely be dealing with the lows of the dip in
the curve during the transition stage, at which homesickness might be
intense.
31





Panic Phone Calls
Parents tend to hear from their children when they are feeling down,
upset, or need a reassuring voice. While in good times they are more
likely to connect with their friends, they often prefer to call their parents
wh th y
tf
gw
Ev f y
h ’ ph
tf
f
panic, you might sense an emotional ambivalence as your child goes
through the chaos of the transition stage and the ups and downs of the
entering stage, which may last well into the second term or even second
year.
Andover Campus Resources
Should a panic call turn out to be something serious, it can be difficult for
you to handle it from a distance. However, you must try to stay calm and
reassuring. Depending on the kind of emergency – anything from health
issues to academics – there are resources on campus available to your
child to get help. The “Parent Handbook” is a helpful tool for you to
familiarize yourself with the many support systems accessible to all
students, like the Isham Health Center, Academic Skills Center, Graham
House Counseling, peer tutoring, study halls to support your child in
writing, science, math and foreign languages during study hours.
v , th
m y
t v v
y
h ’
t
social life on campus: the house counselors, advisor, cluster dean,
international student coordinator, teachers, and coaches – just to name a
f w It
t
f y
h ’ w -being that he or she develops a
relationship to at least one adult on campus who can support and guide
your child in difficult situations.
“What Have You Done to My Room?”
As students are transitioning to a new life and study at boarding school
with all the emotional swings that come along with it, they are still
looking for the familiarity and stability of home. Research has shown that
they want to come home to find things just as they were. If possible,
resist the temptation to change their room, particularly in their first year
of being away from home.
Homesickness
It is quite normal for every child going off to boarding school to feel
homesick at times, particularly during the first 6 – 8 weeks at their new
school. At this time they are about to settle into their new life and study
on campus but realize that they are not there yet. This is probably the
most vulnerable and sensitive time in their transition and adjustment. It
is a time when they want to belong but still feel a little bit homesick,
confused or not yet fully part of the new community yet. It is very
important that they connect to an adult on campus in order to be
reassured that their feelings are normal. They must receive positive
reinforcement that they will be fine and get over this hurdle.
Depression or Sadness
Due to leaving home and going through the different stages of transition
in a new place, your child may be sad at times. It is important that you
are alert to any indications your child may face depression. If you suspect
32
any of the following, you need to notify the house counselor or anyone
v v
y
h ’ f
mp
Y
h m y

experience deep sadness that
’t g g w y
p v t g
your child from moving ahead.

have difficulties getting motivated to attend class, do assignments
or study.

experience strong feelings of hopelessness or loss of self-worth.

isolate him- or herself from others.
III. Fostering Global Identities
Repatriation for the boarding or college experience is often a wake-up call
for children who have lived abroad for longer periods. Described by Dr.
h tt
“E
t ”, th y
th t th y
ff
t f m th
home-country peers. Depending on how long they have lived abroad, and
how integrated they were in other cultures, they might transition more or
less smoothly. Once they recognize that it is their international upbringing
th t m k th m ff
t, th y
h “ t g t ”
b m
satisfied with who they are as a person. As parents, you should be aware
th t t
m f y
h t t gg w th m f th “
t ”
xp
h tt ’
h h w th t h
wh h b
introduced t th t m “th
t
k ” “g b
m ” th b f
or shortly after repatriating had relatively easy encounter experiences.
Knowing that there is a language for their experience turned out to be a
helpful tool for the children to develop their sense of belonging, a belonging
that derives from the shared experience with others who are living outside
their passport countries.
Bibliography:
1.
k, T : Th G b N m ’ G
t U v ty T
t , G t B t 2010
2. Pollock, David C. and Van Reken, Ruth E.: Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among World,
Boston 2009.
3. More f
h tt ’ w k at http://ww.transition-dynamics.com/phoenix
4.Introduction to MBTI @ http://www.personalitypathways.com/MBTI_intro.html
5. “A H m f Th C t
K ” http://tckid.com/
6. Les Passages – A TCK Story (film, coming out in early 2011) http://vimeo.com/11658942
7. Share your own story or learn from others: http://www.thirdculturestories.com/teens.php
By Susanne Torabi
International Student Coordinator
Phillips Academy, March 2012
_______________________________________________________________
Independent Interviews Taken of 20 TCK Phillips Academy Students
Interview Questions:
1. Can you briefly describe the places you have lived and the subsequent lengths of
stay at that location?
2. Do you know what a Third Culture Kid is? If so, can you explain what it is in your
own words?
3. How do you answer the question “where are you from?”
4. With which country, home, culture, or nationality do you identify the most? Where
do you think you belong?
33
5. To where and when are you “homesick?”
6. How do you think your cross cultural and/or mobile life have affected you? How did
you make new friends? How did you adapt?
7. Overall, how would you characterize you TCK experience (largely negative or
positive)? Why? What helped you get through the rough times?
8. When do you feel most vulnerable? Have people ever misunderstood you? When
do you feel different? If comfortable answering, please describe a specific incidence.
9. How has Phillips Academy helped or not helped in meeting your needs as a globally
nomadic student? Do you feel like you fit in at this school?
10. What does the future hold for you? Where do you see yourself going? Can you
ever imagine settling down one day- if so, where would that be? Would you raise
your own kids as TCKs? Explain.
International Club/Asian Society Joint Club Meeting:
Third Culture Kids
February 23, 2011 at 5:30 pm
Blurb:
Do you have to take a moment before you answer the question “Where are
you from?”
Have you ever felt different from those around you?
Do you feel like you do not have what others might call, a home country or a
home?
Come join International Club and
Asian Society’s joint meeting on
Third Culture Kids this Wednesday, February 23 at 5:30 pm in CAMD!
The definition of a Third Culture Kid (TCK) is "someone who, as a child, has
spent a significant period of time in one or more culture(s) other than his or her
own, thus integrating elements of those cultures and their own birth culture,
into a third culture." Come to learn and discuss what it means to be a TCK, or
a cross-cultural kid (CCK) in a globalizing world.
International Club Board & Asian Society Board
MEETING AGENDA
1. Introduction by (Announce format of the meeting and mention TCK focus group)
2. Showing of clip “Les Passages” (8 min)
3. Sharing our stories
4. Definitions of TCKs/ATCKs versus CCKs
5. Introduction to format of group discussions and go over “Discussion
Ground Rules”
6. Group discussions
7. Closing remarks
34
Global Nomads Group Mission Statement
Global Nomads Group is an affinity group for students who identify
as a Third Culture Kids (TCKs), "[people] who, as a child, have spent a
significant period of time in one or more culture(s) other than his or her own,
thus integrating elements of those cultures and their own birth culture, into a
third culture." Because of their globetrotting experiences growing up, many
TCKs feel both restless and rootless. Global Nomads Group will provide
opportunities and support for Third Culture Kids to meet and discuss different
aspect of the TCK experience, such as the difficulties of answering the
question, “Where are you from?” to the complexities of returning to one‟s
“home culture.” Through weekly meetings, Global Nomads Group will allow
Third Culture Kids to truly explore their identities and affirm their
experiences with others who went through the similar situations, identifying
the both the benefits and challenges of being a Third Culture Kid. With trips
to local conferences and talks by renowned specialists on TCKs, the Global
Nomads Group will provide the opportunity to learn more about oneself and
in the end of the school year, present to the Andover community about their
findings and revelations.
_______________________________________________________________
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37
What Does Home Mean to You?
In today's globalized and highly mobile world, unique groups of
individuals are growing up between worlds.
Have you been exposed to other cultures in significant ways?
Have you experienced multiple transitions while growing up?
Have you spent a significant part of your developmental years
outside of your parents’ passport country?
Have you ever wrestled with how you fit into this world?
Do you know about Global Nomads
or Third Culture Kids?
38

GlobalNomads - PAnet

Transcription

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