Not Just Another Bar Mitzvah - Women`s League Community

A Publication of Women’s League Community Residences, Inc.
Summer 2009
Not Just Another Bar Mitzvah
H
eartfelt music. Lively dancing. A festive
seudah. Beaming family members.
Meaningful speeches. Sounds like a regular
Bar Mitzvah. But the Bar Mitzvah celebrations of the twelve
service participants at the Women’s League Boys’ Residence
are anything but regular. They are very special occasions in
honor of these very special young men.
According to Yechiel Davis, manager of this Rebetzin
Yehudis Perlow Children’s Residence on E. 5th St. in
Kensington, every one of the boys is limited by his own
personal physical or mental disabilities. Each one is
functioning as best as he can. Yet despite their differing
abilities, they understand somehow that a Bar Mitzvah
celebration is something special. And they all enjoy their
Bar Mitzvahs, whether they are able to show it or not.
“Our last Bar Mitzvah was Eli’s,” says Yechiel,
“and it was a really beautiful event. We invited
Eli’s family and the entire staff. We arranged
for musicians and singers to entertain. We set
up a beautiful seudah. And we even bought a
handsome Bar Mitzvah suit for Eli to wear on
his big day.”
There are often speeches at the Women’s
League Bar Mitzvahs, and there is always plenty
of singing and dancing. Those boys who are
capable of putting on tefillin are taught how to
do so by the staff. Others simply aren’t ready for it. As for
Eli, he sat in his wheelchair at the head of the table, looking
every bit like the Guest of Honor that he was. “Seeing him
in the middle of the circle with his friends, family, therapists,
and counselors dancing around him was amazing,” says
Yechiel. “I think that all his family, staff, and fellow service
participants came away from it gaining a lot.”
At Women’s League, we believe that each of our boys
deserves no less of a meaningful and lively Bar Mitzvah
celebration than anyone else. And no matter how low his
functioning is, we feel that on some level he understands that
he has reached a milestone in his life. Eli may not show it, but
there was no mistaking that beaming grin and those bright
smiling eyes. Mazel Tov, Eli. May you continue to
be a cause of much celebration.
Inspirations  Summer 2009
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Pictured left: David with his boss, Chaim Roth
strengths and skills. Then together we develop a
resume and role-play the interview process.”
Perela says that this pre-employment program
is successful because it prepares the consumer for
what’s ahead. “By the time they get to the job,”
she says, “they know what to expect.” In general,
suitable positions include clerical work, messenger services, kitchen duties and stock/warehouse
related jobs.
After a position is obtained, CBR job coaches
do intensive training with the consumers and are at
their sides throughout the initial adjustment period.
“These employers are hiring a program,” says Perela,
“not just a person.” And since CBR continuously
reviews its consumers’ progress, even when they
are working at a site for years, it continues to be a
win-win situation.
Women’s League salutes employers such as
Focus, Ateres Chaya, Duddy’s, Aura Lighting and
many more who are taking advantage of the program. They
are enjoying the benefits of hiring a loyal worker as well as the
rewards of doing a great chesed.
And what about David? Thanks to the patience
of his CBR job coach, he learned how to operate
a complex graphics machine. He has now been
creating beautiful designs for tallis bags and yarmulkas at Chaim/Malchut Judaica for close to five
years. David’s bosses are delighted with him and
customers regularly compliment his creativity. He
is prompt and reliable, even coming in on Sundays
and staying overtime, when needed.
Nothing quite equals the feeling of being productive. David awakens with a sense of purpose
and a feeling of satisfaction that is immeasurable.
So do the other CBR consumers. Says Perela, “We
give them purpose. We give them life.”
David * Goes To Work
I
f you visit the Boro Park location
of Chaim/Malchut Judaica you’ll
find a wide selection of artistic religious items like tallis bags, yarmulkas, challah
covers and more. And if you’re lucky, you’ll
also get to meet David, one of the company’s
most treasured employees who designs the
embroidery on some of these masterpieces.
David is a kind, sociable fellow who is both
a devoted family member and valued employee.
His interest in karate (he is currently one belt
away from instructor level) is surpassed only by
his innate artistic talent. David’s various learning challenges have never held him back. After
completing a course in computer graphics, David
approached Women’s League for assistance in
obtaining a suitable position. He was referred
to its supported employment program Creative
Business Resources (CBR) which helps consumers find and maintain employment. But David’s
request did present a challenge. How would CBR
find something suitable in his chosen field?
CBR does more than just find jobs for its consumers with learning and/or developmental disabilities. According to Perela Mayer, program coordinator, “First, the consumer attends pre-employment
classes designed to help with his/her awareness of
* Name has been changed
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I
Women’s League Community Residences ... A tradition of caring, in our homes and yours A Song of my Own
f music is a universal language that
speaks to our souls, then certainly the six
lovely ladies at the Women’s League residence
located in Crown Heights are listening loud and
clear. Ask any of them what her favorite night of
the week is, and chances are she’ll tell you that it’s
Wednesday. That’s because Wednesday night is ‘music night’ at the residence, and that’s something that
Hannah, Miriam, Esther, Leah, Shifra and Rachel
all look forward to the whole week long.
Sara Klein is a counselor
for Women’s League and she is
the leader of the weekly music
sessions. She brings her trusty
guitar, and begins to work her
musical magic by playing a selection of lively folk songs, mellow ballads, clever ditties, and
even timely Shabbos and holiday
favorites.
“The ladies love it,” says
Goldie Weingarten, the residence
social worker. “They sit on the cozy couches in the
living room, singing along, clapping their hands,
and thoroughly enjoying themselves. The young
women who are more daring will start playing along
on the bongos, the tambourine, the triangle or the
bells. Each lady contributes in her own way. There’s
just this wonderful atmosphere of joy and camaraderie that’s being created every week.”
As a special treat, Sara
will occasionally add to the
fun by composing short
‘tributes’ to the women
themselves. According to
Goldie, “She makes up
these sweet little songs
about them and what
they like to do. It’s upbeat, fun and lively. Even the staff joins in.”
Shifra, a Women’s League service participant, can’t wait for Wednesdays. Ever since
Sara sang about her beautiful curly hair, and
the long walks that she enjoys taking, Shifra
feels like a superstar. Now she has her own
special gift, her personal treasure. Shifra has
her very own song that she can hum to herself
any time she wants.
Trips, Trips
& More Trips
4
7
1
8
2
5
3
9
12
6
11
10
13
1. Red Sox Game in Fenway Park – Boston, MA; 2. Aberdeen Proving Grounds Military
Compound – Maryland; 3. New England Air Museum – Windsor Locks, CT; 4. Animals
at Hoyt Farm – Long Island, NY; 5. Disneyworld – Orlando, FLA; 6. Rocking Horse
Ranch – Highland, NY; 7. Bear Mountain State Park – NY; 8. Pontoon Boat Ride – White
Lake, NY; 9. Plimoth Plantation – Plymouth, MA; 10. Animal Kingdom – Orlando, FLA;
11. Steamtown USA – Scranton, PA; 12. Boat Ride – White Lake, NY; 13. Carousel – Newport, RI
14. USS Constitution – Boston, MA
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A Big Hurray for Sports Day!
W
here can you go to play softball, participate in relay races, eat
frankfurters and salad, and spend a
most amazing afternoon with friends? Women’s
League’s Annual Sports Day, of course! Each
year, over one hundred staff and service participants meet at the Valley Stream State Park on
Long Island for a day filled with fun and exercise. Lisa and Steven Fuld (assistant supervisor
and agency chef respectively), along with residence manager Joel Lieberman, begin working on the details of this exciting afternoon
for weeks in advance of the scheduled Spring
Sunday. Ordering the personalized
t-shirts, obtaining the necessary permits,
and organizing the sports equipment,
relay races items, arts and crafts projects, and delicious food all takes much
forethought. But most of all, ensuring
that service participants of all ages and
abilities – from children to seniors, from
ambulatory to those who utilize wheelchairs – will be equally comfortable with
the activities, is quite a feat.
To begin the fun, every person that comes
receives a personalized Women’s League Sports
Day t-shirt that serves as a vivid reminder of this
exciting event long after the actual day has passed.
All are then divided into teams for the creative relay
races which include ball tosses, toilet paper wraps
(an all time laughter generating favorite), tug-ofwar and wheelchair races. This is followed by a
group softball or dodge ball game where players
are cheered on by their fans in the crowd consisting
of numerous staff members, their young children
and other service participants.
“I love Sports Day. My favorite thing is the
‘tug-of-war’. My team was the winner,” says Eli
S. whose smile reflects both his excitement and
sense of satisfaction at being on the winning
team. “I’m happy when my friends win,“ adds
Chaim who has been spotted cheering for both
teams equally as he is the quintessential ‘equalopportunity friend’ and therefore has a substantial collection of them on
both teams.
The Women’s League Annual Sports Day has truly developed into an unforgettable
day of fun and exercise for both
staff and service participants.
Let’s hear a big Hurray for
Sports Day!
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Women’s League Community Residences ... A tradition of caring, in our homes and yours ,
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here’s just something so special
about celebrating a birthday. From
the time one is small, even the
thought of the approaching day starts
to give you the ‘tingles’. Trying to guess
what will be inside the brightly wrapped
and beribboned presents, what special
meal and treats will be served and what
games will be played are all majorly distracting. And, memories of birthdays gone by serve
as a comforting reminder of loving family members
and friends for many years to come.
Here at Women’s League we’re thrilled to continue the tradition of marking this special day. And,
when this day commemorates many
decades of life it seems to be infused
with even more excitement. Phil’s recent celebration of this milestone took
54 years to attain, while Abe and Norman vied for second place with their
67 and 69 years of life respectively.
But by far, Louis was the hands down
winner of “Birthday Bashes” with his
96 year milestone marked in the presence of his beloved residence staff and
service participants.
Women’s League’s group home
for seniors with developmental disabilities is located on 45th Street in
the Boro Park section of Brooklyn. Mrs. Kitzia
Mintz, social work assistant, describes a ‘typical’ birthday party at this residence. “We utilize
these occasions to discuss favorite times we’ve
shared with each other at our homestead.
Best of all is the extensive singing hour when
the lights are dimmed and Phil B. whips out
a microphone. This is summarily followed
by the appearance of Lenny B.’s kazoo, a harmonica, a keyboard and a guitar which accompany the solos sung by
each service participant. At
times the staff is inspired to
make their own vocal contributions in various languages
including Hebrew, Yiddish
and Russian. The enthusiastic
rocking and shaking by service
participants clearly reflects the
raucous joy they experience
time and time again.”
And what about Louie, our
96 year young Guest of Honor?
His ear-to-ear grin and gleaming
eyes said it all. One thing was
missing, however. Women’s League staff was
unable to fit almost 100 birthday candles on
the lusciously decorated cake. Oh well, we’ll just
have to look forward to another attempt at this
nearly impossible feat next year.
Women’s League
Community Residences, Inc.
1556 38th Street, Brooklyn, NY 11218
a tradition
of caring,
in our homes
and yours
Non-Profit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Staten Island, NY
Permit No. 835
Tel: 718-853-0900
Fax: 718-853-0818
www.womensleague.org
Residential Services
Group homes for
disabled babies,
children, and teens
Group homes
for disabled adults
and seniors
Supportive Apts.
for disabled men,
women, and
married couples
At Home Community Services
 jumpstart
Early Intervention
 Service Coordination
 HCBS Waiver Services
 CBR Supported
Employment
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Executive Director
Jeanne Warman
Program Director
Elliot Brownstein
Board Members
•Mrs. Esther Fruchthandler
•Mr. Victor Gluck
•Rabbi Ronald Greenwald
•Mrs. Faigie Horowitz
•Rabbi Burton Jaffa
•Mrs. Shoshana Lefkowitz
•Mrs. Betty Pollack
•Mrs. Rivka Rabinowitz
•Mr. Efraim Reich
•Mrs. Shayve Zucker
Rabbinic Advisory Board
•Rabbi Dovid Feinstein
•Rabbi Yaakov Perlow
•Rabbi Aaron Schechter
•Rabbi E.B. Wachtfogel
•Rabbi Noach Weinberg, zt"l
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Design and Production:
Bottom Line Marketing Group
718.377.4567
Editing & Coordination:
Shaindy Gurwitz
Meyer’s Lesson for the Day
M
eyer G., a Women’s League resident,
regularly addresses audiences on
issues related to enhancing people’s
sensitivities to those with disabilities. Recently, he
gave a class on Intellectual Disabilities at Yeshiva
University (YU), where he
shared with the students
various adaptive devices he
uses to achieve his goals,
described his day program and
his successful home-based
computer graphics business,
and answered questions
about living with a disability
in the Jewish community.
Meyer has also presented
at workshops as far away as
Baltimore and as varied as Yeshiva Gedolah of
Teaneck and a seminary in Brooklyn.
Last month, as part of an agency-wide training, Meyer was addressing staff on the topic “Life
in Women’s League from My Perspective”. Because of his cerebral palsy, Meyer can sometimes
be difficult to understand. During his presentation, Dr. Stephen Glicksman, developmental psychologist and Meyer’s friend, periodically repeated
some of Meyer’s words that trainees had difficulty
catching. During the Q&A period that followed, a
trainee asked Meyer if he ever gets frustrated when
new staff has difficulty understanding what he is
saying. Meyer responded, “I find that sometimes
you just need to have patience with people, and if
you give them enough time they eventually learn
how to do things.” Amazed, Dr.
Glicksman pointed out the tremendous moment that had just
occurred. “Does everyone realize
what just happened?” he asked
the audience; “A staff member
just asked a service participant
how he deals with the staff’s challenges, and he responded that
you just need to have patience.
Who would have dreamed thirty
years ago that there would be a
conversation about how the service participants
deal with the ‘disabilities’ of the staff?”
At Women’s League, we recognize that everyone has strengths and weaknesses; challenges to
overcome and skills to develop. And, everyone
benefits from the patience and understanding of
others. We recognize that staff and service participants are really all in this together; learning
from each other, and needing each other to thrive.
Indeed, on that day Meyer G. taught the staff how
we should all treat each other..