November 29, 2012 Issue of KONK Life

INSIDE!
KONK
Life
UPFRONT
Vol.2 No.48
C
O
N
T
E
N
T
S
04
HAPPENINGS
‘HOT NIGHT IN PARIS’
RALPH De PALMA | photographer
05
FUN TIMES
14
COLUMNS
06 COMMUNITY
07 KEEP MOVING
KEY BURLESQUE
Key West Happenings
ARTIST RECEPTIONS/EXHIBITIONS
Florida Keys Council of the Arts Cultural Calendar:
Send in events by ursday noon to the Florida Keys
Council of the Arts, [email protected]
ARTS COUNCIL
Friday, November 30: Artists in Schools Grant
Deadline, 5 PM.1100 Simonton St. 295-4369.
keysarts.com
Thursday-Friday, November 29-30
David Wight Art Exhibit, 10 AM. Wyland Gallery,
623 Duval St. 292-4988. Wylandkeywest.com.
Thru December 2. Sculptor David Wight will appear as "Artist in Residence," to introduce his
newest shimmering glass sculptures.
Friday, November 30
Amanda Johnson Artist Reception, 6 PM. Two
Monkeys Fine Art Gallery, 518 Fleming St.
414-8396. Meet the artist and watch her work, view
recent creations, enjoy refreshments and expand
your mind. amandajohnsonfineart.com
www.konklife.com 3
08 WINING THE KEYS
18 TROPIC SPROCKETS
23 SOCIAL COMMENTARY
Saturday, December 1
Stephen Muldoon, 10 AM Wyland Gallery,
623 Duval St. 292-4998. Thru December 5.
Celebrate! New Artists/New Work Opening
Reception, 6 PM. Lucky Street Gallery, 540
Greene St. 294-3973. luckystreetgallery.com
Paint, Paint, Paint "The Art of Stephen LaPierre"
The Custom House Museum, 281 Front St.
296-6616. Thru February 28. kwahs.org
Painting day and night he personifies his personal
motto, “paint, paint, paint.” His work depicts architecture and street life of Key West. Special events
include a lecture with the artist.
| Continued on page 20
up
front
C O M M E NTARY
FLORIDA, WE HAVE A
LIONFISH PROBLEM
n
by Alan Pierce
ets talk straight.
Lionfish are a challenge.
Native to the Indian Ocean and
South Pacific, these beautiful yet
venomous creatures are spreading
through our waters like a bad cold.
Within their native range, lionfish
fit nicely into the natural food web
and populations remain in check.
But not in Florida. Our native
predatory fish are simply not ordering the bizarre-looking menu item,
leaving little to control the lionfish
population.
Initial sightings of lionfish in
Florida waters began in the mid1980s. e rarity of sightings initially made it difficult for biologists
to assess the significance of the
problem. e species spread slowly
but methodically, infiltrating the
Caribbean and waters off the Atlantic Coast and Bermuda. By the
2000s, the story became much
clearer as many countries within the
invaded range witnessed dramatic
lionfish population increases and
forced to initiate control programs.
All hope that Florida might
somehow be spared was eliminated
the past few years as it began to witness a population explosion along
its southeast coast, including the
Florida Keys. Today, lionfish are in
places never seen before, including
the northern areas of the Gulf of
Mexico.
So whats the big deal about having another beautiful species of
tropical fish in our waters? Well, ultimately, its the economy! Floridas
economy and the health of our marine ecosystems are directly linked.
Marine ecologists are concerned lionfish will significantly alter the
population dynamics of native marine species, resulting in damage to
Floridas reef systems. Lionfish also
L
could negatively affect recreational
and commercial fisheries through
direct competition for food and
habitat. Anything that hurts fishing
and diving will also hurt hotels,
restaurants, retail stores and the entire economy of the state.
Not to sound like an alarmist,
but this is a serious situation that
needs full attention. is is especially true for those who scuba dive
and snorkel in Florida. As it turns
out, harvesting by spear or dip net
is currently the best means of controlling the species and minimizing
negative consequences. Pole spears
with multipronged “paralyzer” tips
have proved to be the safest and
most effective tool for harvest.
Puncture-resistant harvest bags and
buckets with a rigid funnel entrance
also can be used to safely transfer
the fish from the spear to the container while avoiding contact with
venomous barbs.
So what is the Florida Fish and
Wildlife Conservation Commission
doing to address the problem? FWC
recently eliminated the requirement
to have a recreational fishing license
for lionfish control when using certain types of spears and dip nets.
e change, which is in effect
through August 2013, also eliminated the default recreational bag
limit. With these changes, which are
designed to encourage lionfish control efforts, the only thing that limits lionfish hunting is the ability to
shoot and the size of the cooler.
FWC will continue to provide
information on lionfish control
through MyFWC.com, social media
sites, publications and such. Lionfish information cards are in dive
shops around the state, designed to
educate divers and encourage lionfish control efforts. FWC is developing incentive programs to encourage
lionfish removal.
| Continued on page 22
4 ww.konklife.com
Vol. 2 No. 48
november 29-december 5
KEY
HAPPENINGS
Published Weekly
KONK Life
NEWS DIRECTOR
Guy deBoer
EDITOR|DESIGN
Dawn deBoer
PHOTOGRAPHERS
Larry E. Blackburn
Ralph De Palma
Sheel Sheelman
EDITORIAL CONSULTANT
Connie Gilbert
CONTRIBUTORS
Guy deBoer Key News
Louis Petrone Key West Lou
Steve Calderwood Wining the Keys
Paul Menta Whats Cooking
David Lybrand KONK Reactor
Scott McCarthy The Gadabout
Kimberley Denney Bitchin Paradise
Christina Oxenberg Local Observation
JT Thompson Hot Dish
Michele Meck Party Mecca
Jenessa Burger Well & Fit
ON-AIR PERSONALITIES
BEV ALLEN, PETER ANDERSON, GUY deBOER, BO FODOR,
STEPHANIE KAPLE, SHAUNA LEE LANGE, VICTORIA LEIGH,
LOUIS PETRONE, M. L. PRICE, MICHAEL SHIELDS, JIM SMITH,
SOPHIA SKOGLUND, ALICE TALLMADGE, RICHARD
TALLMADEGE, MATT GARDI, RICK BOETTGER,
JIM FERRIS, STEP WISCHERTH, MICHELE MECK
ADVERTISING 305.296.1630
Marc Hollander|305.619.4414
[email protected]
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Key West, Florida
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www.konklife.com
Chalk art creations run from the uncomplicated to the
astounding as demonstrated by this work at the annual
“I Madonnari” street painting festival in Santa Barbara,
California. | JILL CLARDY
November 29-30 and December 1
Chalk Art comes to Key West
kaleidoscope of color and creativity will transform the promenade alongside the seawall at the Truman Waterfront when the
Key West Art In Public Places Board presents the islands inaugural ChalkFest, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. each day of the fest. Experience performance art in
progress as local and visiting artists showcase their talents in the tradition of
16th Century Italian artists known as “madonnari” who, with chalk, recreated paintings of the Madonna on city streets. Todays chalk art creations
range from classical to whimsical to way-out.
Individual sections of promenade that run adjacent to the USCGC Ingham Museum at the Truman Waterfront will be blocked off and assigned to
participants, including Keys artists Amanda Johnson, Carrie Disrud, Cathy
Flannigan, Elio Hinds, Faustine Arel, Gail Drecher, Jessica Argyle, Jonathan
Woods, Kate Peachey, Rick Worth, Ronda Rinald, and Suzanné Pereira assisted by Tortuga Jack; Sarasota artists Antoinette Jude Golden, Stig Lindow
and Tico Williamson; and West Palm Beach artist Michael V. Las Casas,
among others.
Experience performance art as it is created and attend ChalkFest awards
ceremony 9 p.m. Saturday, December 1, at e Studios of Key West. Event
presented by Key West Art in Public Places Board, sponsored in part by Ibis
Bay Waterfront Resort, and runs concurrent with ART! KEY WEST! AIPP
board of directors appointed by city commissioners and mayor to serve the
community in cultivating and developing a public arts presence throughout
the island, recognizing the arts are an integral part of the living environment
in Key West.
INFO www.artinpublicplaceskw.com, or, contact Michael Shields,
(305) 394-3804, [email protected]
A
November 29 - December 2
Key West Film Fest debuts cinematic art
n the tiny island where films such as Tennessee Williams “e
Rose Tattoo” and the James Bond adventure “License to Kill”
were partially shot, cinema fans can indulge in four days of screenings during the inaugural Key West Film Festival, ursday to Sunday, November 29
O
| Continued on page 22
www.konklife.com 5
COMMUNITY
EVENTS
Preregister for NAMI classes
NAMI Florida Keys sponsors the NAMI Family-toFamily Education Program specifically for families
of persons diagnosed with severe mental illness. e
free 12 classes, 6-8:30 p.m., start January 9, 2013,
at Unity Church Key West. Contact Sherry on the
NAMI line, (305) 896-9182. Pre-registration now.
December 1-2
Key West Garden Club fall plant sale
Annual Fall Plant and Art Sale at the West Martello
Tower, 1100 Atlantic Blvd., 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday,
December 1; 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Sunday, December 2.
Admission and parking free. Drought and pest resistant,
native plants and flowering exotics propagated in the
plant nursery sell at near wholesale prices. Vendors have
fruit trees, bamboo, crotons, bananas and orchids. Artisans offer holiday shopping. Garage sale planned. Food,
beverages and baked goods on sale. Presented in part by
the Monroe County Tourist Development Council.
December 6
POSH raises funds for SPCA
POSH (Paws Often Steal Hearts) fundraiser for Florida
Keys SPCA, 6:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. ursday, December
6, at Audubon House & Tropical Gardens, 205 Whitehead St., to prevent cruelty to animals and find good
homes for our canine and feline friends. Key West formal
attire for the evening event featuring the Fascinator Hat
— a headpiece, style of millinery, usually a large head
decoration on a band or clip with elaborate trimmings
and decoration like formal hat and can incorporate a base
to make a miniature hat. Everyone welcome to wear one.
Tickets at Mad Hatter, 253 Front St.; We’ve Got e
Keys, 922 Caroline St. $20/advance, $25/door. Presented
by Sunset Social Drinking Club, Simply You, Weve Got
e Keys, Great Events, Catered Affairs, FK-SPCA.
| Continued on page 20
The Wreckers president JT Thompson, the Rev.
Steve Torrence of MCC, Wreckers vice president
Gregory Wilson.
Wreckers donate $1,000 to MCC
Key West Wreckers Leather/Levi Club support
Metropolitan Community Church’s Holiday Food
Programs and Food Pantry with $1,000 donation
from the club’s Fantasy Fest Island House party.
The Wreckers donated $200,000 to local and
national charities in 21 years of fundraising.
6 www.konklife.com
KEEP MOVING
other people’s progress, or lack there of,
at the one gym I train at. I guess I am
spoiled.
e gym I train at in Key West
hanksgiving is my favorite
is a gym that people go to to really work
holiday of the year. I love
hard and not to catch up on the social
that it is all about being with family and
scene.
ere’s no question that when you
friends and eating and just enjoying life
step into this particular gym
and being thankful for what
you
are there to work hard,
we have. We don’t take
and not catch up
efficiently,
enough time to tell people
on
whatever
the newest
how much we appreciate
reality talent show is. People
them and all the things they
come
in, put headphones on,
do. But anksgiving also
and
get
to it.
means I get to come home to
Now,
unlike my gym in
Massachusetts and relax. And
Key
West,
this newer, fancier
just like many of you, when I
JENESSA
gym
in
Massachusetts
is
travel, I find a gym to train in
BURGER
almost like speed dating or
so I don’t lose any of the gains
COLUMNIST
a real live Facebook world.
that I’ve been making.
Most
people
there, men and women,
Since I get the opportunity to travel
chit-chat
their
way through almost every
home a few times a year, I get to see
Being thankful
T
exercise, take excessively long breaks, or
constantly check every move out in the
mirrors. is drives me bonkers! If you
can keep up a full on conversation during your workout, then sorry, but you
just aren’t working out to your full potential. If that’s the case, what’s the point
of working out?
We all spend enough time outside
of the gym talking, texting and tweeting
that when you step into the gym there
should only be one thing on your mind:
working as hard as you can to improve
your body and quality of life. is is one
of the few places that you can be selfish
and take the time to care for just yourself. at’s why you have to be very picky
about working out with a friend. It can
be a great experience, or it can totally
ruin the gym for you.
www.konklife.com 7
KEY BUSINESS
IN KEYWEST
Explain to your gym partner that you
are in the gym not to catch up on life,
but to better yourself. If they’re a true
friend, they’ll get the hint and leave the
conversing for happy hour. It also makes
for quicker workouts!
So don’t be the one in the gym talking
to everyone you can. Once you step foot
into the gym, chat as little as possible.
is doesn’t mean you have to be angry
when you’re working out, but just a
little hello as you pass by someone
is sufficient.
e less gabbing going on means
your training time will be shorter and
more efficient. at will lead to changes
in your body that just aren’t possible if
your mouth is moving for the whole
workout.
e
wining
the
keys
W I N E A B I T, Y O U L L F E E L B E T T E R
Part II of Part III
Visiting Wine Country
One slurp at a time;
hold the DNA
Mountain Winery. She had brought along
some of her wines that Dr. Jim took a great
liking to until he asked the price. Just remember the old adage, “If you have to ask the price
. . .”
fter Provenance, I called Greg
again, and he said he would be
at the winery around 4 p.m. and could meet
with us then. Yee hah! He gave me the address,
and we said we’d be there. We cruised through
a few more wineries until it was time to head
hen last we saw our intrepid to T-Vine. is turned out to be a big surprise.
travelers, Steve and Dr. Jim, Like I said, in Napa you get used to visiting
his head doctor sidekick had finished a full day the grand châteauxs, and when we pulled up to
of wine tasting in Napa followed by a few
the address that Greg had given me, all there
glasses of wine at their favorite wine bar. As I
was to give you a clue that there was a winery
mentioned last week, my main goal for this
there was an intercom box that had three
trip was to meet Greg Brown, winemaker at
buttons on it — Greg, House, Winery.
T-Vine Wines, but we were there in the middle
I hit the button that said winery, and Greg
of crush, so we knew it was going to be diffianswered and hit the button to open the gate.
cult. at morning I called Greg, and he said
We drove up a small hill and at the top was a
he was going to be in the vineyards all day, so
small barn with one crusher/stemmer and a
we decided to cruise Sonoma Valley.
few fermentation tanks and a ton of barrels.
is was just a thoroughly enjoyable day in Greg was there with Pedro, his sole assistant in
which we visited, among others, Arrowood,
winemaking. ese wonderful, wonderful
Ravenswood, Valley of the Moon, Landmark,
wines were being concocted by just these two
Chateau St. Jean and Gundlach Bundschu.
people in a tiny barn on a back road in the far
e difference between Napa and Sonoma
north of Napa Valley. Life is good.
is quite substantial. Everything in
Greg turned out to be one
Napa is mostly along two major
of the funniest, most generous
roads crammed quite close together
people I’ve ever run into. He had
and, in general, quite commercial.
us taste every one of his 2004
In Sonoma, it’s much more like
wines; either out of the barrel,
being in farm country. It’s a much
the fermentation tank, or even
larger area and, as such, everything
directly out of the crusher. It was
is much more spread out; and
a great experience, and I must
rather than pulling up to grand
warn you of one thing. Anything
STEVE
estates, you’re more likely to find a
that we didn’t finish he poured
CALDERWOOD
barn.
back into the vessel from which it
Well, this day, once again, ended
came. So, if in the future you see
at our favorite wine bar, where they now knew one of his ’04 vintage wines, just realize that
us by name and took quite a bit of humor in
you’re probably drinking a bit of my and
our state by the time we arrived back there
Dr. Jim’s DNA.
each night. It’s good to be able to walk
Well, the next day we were heading back
to your hotel.
to San Francisco, but it turned out to be the
e next morning found us traversing Napa most interesting day of all. But that’s going
again which was to feature a lunch with the
to have to wait until next week.
winemaker at Provenance Winery, a relatively
Finally, as always, remember if you want to
new winery that had hired away the wineget the most important email newsletter of all
maker from Duckhorn Winery. I again called
time, Smokin’ Vines, a listing of all the food
Greg Brown that morning, and he said he was
and booze events in the Keys, send your name
not sure where he was going to be today, but
and email to [email protected] and I’ll add
asked that I call back in the afternoon, so,
you to the list.
off we went.
at’s it for this week, so, until next time
Provenance turned out to be an absolute
— wine a bit, youll feel better.
delight. We tasted some incredible wines and
then got to meet the winemaker from Jade
e
is is the second of a three-part series on visiting wine country. If you missed the first part, go
to KONKnet.com and there you can find Part I
in last weeks issue. Off we go!
A
W
8 www.konklife.com
HOLIDAYs
THIS WEEK!
21st Annual Tree of Hope
Hope reigns eternal
n Saturday, December 1, following the
World AIDS Day Service at the AIDS
Memorial, La Te Da presents the 21st Annual Tree of
Hope at 7 p.m., 1125 Duval St. Each year La Te Da
chooses to host this sentimental ceremony so the
community can come together to honor and remember
friends and family lost to this terrible disease.
Following the solemnity at the AIDS Memorial
honoring the newly engraved names, the Tree of Hope
ceremony has proven to be an affirmation and celebration providing an uplifting of spirit. Over 190 angel
bears will hang from the La Te Da Christmas tree decorated with thousands of lights. ese wonderful bears
are available in two styles and will be on sale for $15
and $25. Guests who purchase the bears will be given a
card to inscribe a personal message. In turn, the card
will be put on the tree in their bear’s place.
is year’s Fantasy Fest King Mark Patterson
and Queen Liz Ketcham will emcee this special event,
beginning with the official tree lighting by Scott Pridgen, acting executive director of AIDS Help. Following
the tree lighting, participants can enjoy a longstanding
tradition of the group singing “Silent Night.”
“is is a great event that benefits AIDS Help,” said
Scott Pridgen. “Donations from this event will allow us
to continue providing much needed services and housing as we have for 26 years to people in our community.”
All proceeds from the Tree of Hope help support the
AIDS Help throughout the Florida Keys, including
community education to reduce the impact of HIV.
O
November 30 – December 2
Christmas in the Keys | Duck Key
is deliciously themed and decorated event includes food, specialty drinks, family activities, games
and a live local music entertainment lineup staged at
the Hawk’s Cay Resort marina, 61 Hawks Cay Blvd.,
MM 61 oceanside. Planned attractions include a decorated boat display, treats and cocktails, and gifts for
purchase from local artisans and craftspeople.
www.christmasinthekeys.com
December 2, 8 p.m.
e Messiah
As many as 90 singers from around the Florida
Keys participate in the annual performance of George
Frideric Handel’s holiday masterpiece. Directed by
Dean Walters, the 30th consecutive production is
staged at Key West United Methodist Church at the
corner of Eaton and Simonton streets. Admission free.
(305) 745-1409
KEY WEST
LOU
SECESSION AND SUCKER TIME
nLEGALITIES WITH
Louis Petrone
hange is in the air! At
the very least it appears
so. ings solid as bed rock are
being shaken. Truths accepted for
50-plus years questioned. In this regard, I refer to abortion, birth control and the like. Even the exact
time of conception is now at issue.
Now comes secession. e withdrawal of a state from the Union.
A matter I thought the Civil War
resolved. No so. e dissidents
appear to be knocking at the door.
Secession is the act of withdrawing from a union or political entity.
e U.S. Supreme Court bolstered
the Civil War result in 1869 in the
case of Texas v. White. e Supreme
Court said unilateral secession was
not permissible. e court went on
to add that the Union, our Union,
was complete, perpetual and indissoluble. Strong words. e court
further indicated that the only possible way for a state to withdraw
from the Union was by revolution
or the consent of all other states.
Why is the secession issue
receiving attention at this time?
Simple. Persons from all 50 states
have filed petitions with the White
House demanding secession.
e first petition was filed the
day after the recent Presidential
election. e state was Louisiana.
e underlying motivation was
Obamas reelection.
Within one week of the election,
petitions were filed on behalf of the
remaing 49 states.
Each petition was required
to bear 25,000 signatures. Via the
petition method, more than
700,000 signatures were obtained.
e direction was to file the petitions with the White House. Once
done, it was incumbent upon the
President to respond.
Is this all for real? No. e petitions and their filing, yes. However,
there is no legal basis for such
action. e whole thing is a crock.
A joke. Bought into by more than
700,000 people.
C
ere is an organization known
as We, e People. Pretty formal
sounding. It has an officious appearing website. is organization was
and is the instigator, initiator and
perpetrator of this useless action.
e website does claim that the
First Amendment gives any citizen
the right to petition for grievances.
Apparently, not liking Obamas
victory was the grievance.
Every action has an equal and
opposite reaction. Basic physics
teaches us such. It occurred regarding the secession petitions filed.
ere is now circulating new
petitions seeking to deport every
person who signed a secession
petition. 25,000 signatures are
required. en the petitions are
to be filed with the Obama Administration via email. e same scenario utilized previously with the
secession petitions.
Guess who is leading the
deportation drive? You got it! We,
e People. e same organization
that directed the obtaining and
filing of the secession petitions is
doing it all over again, except with
deportation petitions.
I tried to discover who We, e
People is. I could not. My guess is
that we are dealing with a couple
of college students or a computer
geek/genius. Any of whom is having
a good chuckle over what has
occurred.
Sucker time!
www.konklife.com 9
e
LOU
PETRONE
TALK SHOW HOST
THEATERICAL
REVIEW
Boston Marriage opens to high praise
oston Marriage,” Key West FRINGEs challenged season premiere show — performances were postponed a week due to
the powerboat races — opened to laughter, cheers and admiration.
“What a triumph! It was fantastic!” said one opening night theater-goer
. . . . “A courageous and ambitious undertaking,” said another. Other comments were equally laudatory. “Really intelligent theater—gripping!” . . .
“What a fabulous addition to our theater scene. THATS (playwright
David) Mamet? Couldnt believe it! Im not a fan of all his work but this was
outstanding.” . . . “e pacing, the direction was perfect.” . . . “e actors
did a magnificent job with daunting material. I loved the period costumes,
set and setting — an unusual experience!” . . . “e twists between the
words and action were hilarious!” And that was just the beginning.
e show will be through Sunday, December 2, and Sunday, December
9, through Tuesday, December 11. Performances begin 8 p.m. at e Carriage Trade, the Victorian guesthouse at 529 Eaton St.
“Boston Marriage” is a divine theatrical experience in a divine space that
only Key West has to offer and only Key West FRINGE could put on —
the perfect marriage of Victorian setting and script.
Seating limited. Tickets at the door or call (305) 295-7676 or online,
www.Keystix.com INFO www.keywestfringe.org
B
Happiness Fest donates to Unity
First Annual Key West Health and Happiness Festival donated proceeds from the
event, featuring local alternative healthcare
practitioners to Unity of the Keys Spiritual
Center. Unity offers ongoing classes and
meetings, including A Course in Miracles,
Yoga, AA, Overeaters Anonymous, and Life
Transitions Bereavement Group.
Pictured above: Dr. Ashley Hoyt, Helen Basinger, the Rev. Philip
Smedstad and Agatha Schooler.
The Pier House salutes Ms. Aloma
Ms. Aloma with Kathleen Peace, food and beverage director and
Executive Chef Cyrus Jean. The Pier House wishes Ms. Aloma
well in all her future endeavors post retirement. After 26 loyal
years, Ms. Aloma Stephenson retired from the Pier House Resort
and Caribbean Spa. Ms. Aloma, as affectionately known, worked
in the kitchen as Kitchen Utility Aide. In a farewell party Ms.
Aloma was celebrated by managers and staff.
10 www.konklife.com
NOW WERE COOKIN’!
NEW GROWING SEASON IN TROPICAL FLORIDA KEYS
or some anksgiving marked the
end of the growing season and a
feast of the harvest, but for us in South Florida
it marks the time of a new growing season. e
veggies and other edibles are back as local foods
make their yearly comeback.
e USDA has planting zones on a scale
from 1-11 and South Florida rates a 10 for
growing, but guess who rates an 11 and is considered Tropical Florida? Yes, the Florida Keys,
coming in at a rating of 10, and of course Key
West at an 11 for its frost-free climate and always higher heat and humidity index. Even
though the climate for winter is a bit drier, the
dew and light rains balance out the heat index
which is lower
So what does all this mean? Well, eat, of
F
PAUL
MENTA
EXTREME CHEF
nwcooking.com
Eat local and always
with a friend!
Aloha
course! Take advantage of local produce in the
stores and consider growing them yourself.
Plant cherry tomatoes, radishes, lettuce, cabbage, cucumbers, squash and peppers for great
results. You can buy these already started from
the MARC House to give you a helping hand.
ey will produce in as quickly as 45 days! I
got my share allotment from Florida City of
lettuce, radishes, tomatoes and organic eggs,
which taste way different and are better for you
than store-bought eggs. You buy at Robert is
Here or Bee Heaven Farm or get it farm fresh
and delivered. Stop by the market at Help
Yourself.
Seeing a salad in your future? Let’s make a
vinaigrette with an emulsion — a blending
of things that don’t mix together, like oil and
ww.konklife.com 11
water. Vinegar has water in it, so you will need
a half cup of good olive oil (or another unsaturated fat like peanut oil), eighth cup of vinegar,
a tablespoon of spicy mustard, three tablespoons honey (local) and a tablespoon of fresh
herbs. Use jar or a blender to mix all this together.
Mix all ingredients together EXCEPT the
oil and honey. Shake. After mixed well, add oil
and mix. Add honey, as we are making a semipermanent emulsion, which means it will hold
together longer than just vinegar and oil.
Blender is the easy way to make a smooth
dressing and it looks fluffier. Put some greens
and veggies together, add your dressing,
and enjoy!
e
SMOKIN’ CIGARS AT SMOKIN’ TUNA
RODGER STUART DAVIS | photographer
Quote of the Week: “Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking. It’s easy. I've done it a thousand times.” W. C. Fields, 1880–1946.
North of Havana Cigar Social Club meets for a good cigar 5-7pm Fridays at Smokin’ Tuna Saloon.
SALSA LOCA/COWBOY BILL’S & sister seasON
GOLF TOURNEY donation
12 ww.konklife.com
LARRY BLACKBURN | photographer
HURRICANE SANDY
key west relief
n LARRY BLACKBURN | photographer
www.konklife.com 13
november 29-december 5
Smokin’ Tuna
Scott Kirby (Above)
Hog’s Breath Saloon
Shane Dwight (Left)
Green Parrot Bar
Flow Tribe (Right)
14 www.konklife.com
FUNTIMES
Smokin’ Tuna Saloon
Nick Norman
Smokin’ Tuna Saloon
4 Charles St., off the 200 block
Duval Street, (305) 517-6350
n
Thursday
Scott Kirby 6pm
Nick Norman 10pm
South Carolina singer-songwriter
tours club scenes in his native
South Carolina, North
Carolina, Georgia and Florida.
Friday
Scott Kirby 1-5pm
Ben Scales 6pm
Singer, songwriter and recovering
attorney Ben Scales returns to
Key West after absent from the
local music scene for years and
plays three nights, November 30
through December 2. Scales will
be accompanied by Caroline
Smokin’ Tuna
Ben Scales
Pod.’ Ben, the big brother of Key
West attorney and U.S. 1s Sunday smart-alecky, mid-shift music
guru DJ Ed Scales, has written
humorous intros for segments of
Eds radio show but is also an accomplished singer-songwriter. His
repertoire includes folk to rock.
Ben and Caroline play 6-9pm, Friday and Sunday; Saturday the
duo plays 1-5pm.
Nick Norman 10pm
Saturday
Ben Scales 1pm
Rusty Lemmon 6pm
Nick Norman 10pm
Sunday
Ben Scales 6pm
Caffeine Carl and
Rusty Lemmon 9pm
Monday
Caffeine Carl and Rusty
Lemmon 9pm
Tuesday Nick Norman 9pm
The Green Parrot Bar
601 White St., (305) 294-6133
n
Thursday-Sunday
Flow Tribe 10pm Thursday;
5:30pm and 10pm Friday;
10pm Saturday; 5:30pm Sunday
Backbone crackin music from
New Orleans: NOLA-based sixpiece funk-rock band Flow Tribe
bring their dramatic, brassed-up
brand of rock. Natives of New Orleans and founded in 2004, they
are self-described as a “bizarrely
irresistible unique blues/funk/rock
band that electrifies the audience
with the delicacy of a sledgehammer and a diversity of music that
absorbs the crowd into the band
and forms one funky orgy. Influenced by the eclectic New Orleans funk/rock community, Flow
Tribe is a dynamic entity that
seeks to take any event into the
4th dimension. Fusing psychedelic/blues and funk/rock Flow
Tribe considers themselves “a
more irreverent version of Galactic that operates under the philosophy, take the music seriously,
but dont take yourself seriously.”
Friday-Saturday 1207-08
Ketchy Shuby
“Downtown Soul from Miami”
5:30pm and 10pm
Wednesday 1212
Ukulele Association Meeting
8pm
| Continued on page 16
www.konklife.com 15
FUNTIMES
| Continued from page 15
The Pier House
The Wine Gallery Piano Bar,
One Duval, (305) 296-4600
n
Friday-Monday 7pm
Larry Smith performs jazz,
popular standards, originals, with
guest singers, instrumentalists.
Sunday Showcase 9pm
Singer/songwriter/mandolinist Steve
Gibson. After 20 years on the New
England music scene as a mandolinist
and songwriter, Steve pursued his
dream of a musical career in Key
West. Since arriving in 2002, he has
played in duos and bands in venues
throughout the Keys. His premiere appearance features a side of his talents
not often seen here — that of an accomplished songwriter in many genres — and also feature Robin Menard
on saxophone.
NEXT WEEK: Rock guitarist Ray
Sigismondi and his annual Sunday
Showcase Rock Show featuring
Christine Cordone, Kathleen Peace,
Peppy Pabone, Blatts and Larry
Smith, December 9.
n Wine Gallery Piano Bar
Monday Jazz Jams 9pm
Jazz night with Skipper Kripitz on
drums and Tim McAlpine on bass.
Larry Smith performs 7pm. Guests
join in at 9pm.
Schooner Wharf Bar
202 Williams St., 292-3302
www.schoonerwharf.com
n
Friday-Saturday
Swingin Harpoon Blues Band
7pm-Midnight
Take the big sound of a jazzy swing
big band and arrange blues harp into
the mix. Back in from North Florida,
they’re power guitar and harmonica
driven blues! Four-piece band’s songs
are raw Detroit blues with a mix of
jump and swing. Led by Mike Lanigan
(“Salty”) and also features Jamie Eubanks. Excellent mix of originals and
blues classics with a healthy dose of
jump and swing.
16 www.konklife.com
Schooner Wharf Bar
Swingin Harpoon Blues Band
Sunday
Tree Trimming Party 5pm
Bring an ornament or toy for a
| Continued on page 17
FUNTIMES
| Continued from page 16
Schooner Wharf Bar
202 Williams St., 292-3302
www.schoonerwharf.com
n
tot and enjoy a complimentary
holiday beverage. Prizes for the
Most Original, Most Creative,
and Most Nautical Ornament!
Toys for Tots Drop off an unwrapped toy during tree trimming
party. All Santas Helpers receive
complimentary glass of holiday
cheer!
1215 Lighted Boat Parade
22nd Annual Magical Nautical
Display of Lights and Creativity.
Judges z\stand located at
Schooner Wharf.
Hogs Breath Saloon
400 Front St., (305) 296-4222
n
Thursday-Friday
Chris Thomas 5:30-9:30pm
Thomas has played with Gary
U.S. Bonds and the Roundhouse
Rockers, Bums in the Park,
Groove and Nikki Armstrong and
the Whole Lotta Blues Band.
Thursday-Sunday
Simplified10pm-2am
Simplified, a versatile band know
for its Southern rock as well as
folk, funk and reggae. Bands
tunes trip down a trail of neatly
packaged stories, chocked with
innovative musicianship, classy,
cool lyrics and authentic vocals.
Simplified manages a unique and
singular musical kingdom, shuffling from sweet ballads to guitar
driven power rock songs to reggae tinged sing alongs. Magnetic
quality of Simplified is anchored
in authenticity. Simplified has cultivated a musical presence.
1203-09 Dennis McCaughey
5:30-9:30pm
Lead vocals, rhythm guitar and
harmonica for trop-rock band
Tropical Soul. McCaughey plays
solo at the mid-shift gig.
The Shane Dwight Band
10pm-2am
Young American Roots Music
artist and killer blues player, Introspective singer-songwriter
whose voice rings true Americana, R&B and flat-out Rock’n’
Roll. Talent and inspiration strong
his music draws from blues,
urban R&B and modern rock.
The Rum Barrel
Quarterback Deck,
528 Front St., (305) 509-7136
n
Thursday Larry Baeder 6pm
Seasoned contemporary artist.
1130 Lance Taylor 7pm
Signature version of Americana,
blues and folk music for 15 years.
Traveled the country recording
his own songs.
1201 Black and Skabuddha
7pm
Acoustic duo from New York City
opened for major acts. Known for
upbeat performances, won songwriting contests including Julie
Golds Women in Music Award for
From A Distance, a Billboard
award and Nashville Songwriters.
Island Dogs
505 Front St., (305) 509-7136
n
1109 Anthony Picone 8pm
1130 LoFis 8pm
1205 Bill Blue 8pm
Blues performer with gravelly
voice for Larry Baeders Blues
Concert Series, performing
alongside Baeder.
tropic
sprocketS
n
IN REVIEW WITH
Ian Brockway
Tiger Eyes
film based on favorite
Key West author Judy
Blume’s novel “Tiger Eyes” has arrived at the Key West Film Festival.
“Tiger Eyes” is especially poignant
because it is directed by the author’s
son, Lawrence Blume. It is a genuine
holistic creation with spirit.
e film focuses on Davey, a
young girl who is coping with the
sudden loss of her dad slain during a
random shooting. Gossip Girls
Willa Holland does an excellent
turn here showing Davey’s mercurial
temper.
Dark haired and sly, Davey is a
preternatural hawk both ethereal
and feminine, that has lost her way.
Together with her mother, (Amy Jo
Johnson), Davey relocates to New
Mexico and becomes alienated by
the vast red rock fauna and florid
cultures that surround her. When
she wanders alone along a burgundy
sky that turns navy blue before her
eyes, it’s as if the towering rock
formations have teeth.
In the canyon, Davey meets the
existential and charismatic Wolf
(Tatanka Means) who is imbued
with a cosmic self awareness and a
quirky, deprecating manner. Wolf
takes care of his ailing father, who is
played by Tatanka’s real-life father,
the iconic Native American actor
and activist Russell Means. is is
Tatanka’s first feature film, though
he has more in the works, and he
possesses a warmth and a poetic
mystique that recalls a young
Johnny Depp.
“Tiger Eyes” is a sensory
experience with many highs and
haunts. e nimble cinematography
weaves back and forth like a
shapeshifter. We reach into the blue
horizons of sky only to go sideways,
A
climbing the walls of an adobe
house with more dark corners than
Polanskis Dakota in New York City.
Davey is cut off from her reticent
and emotionally challenged uncle
(Forrest Fyre) who stands over her
like an imposing effigy of e
Rifleman while the Luminaria in
brown paper hover like gingerbread
stars that she cannot reach, and
shine to mock her.
It seems more like Halloween
than Christmas in Davey’s New
World.
One of the highlights of “Tiger
Eyes” is its stirring and immediate
use of local color from the scalloped
boardwalks of Atlantic City and the
incarnadine plains of Los Alamos
that are as Exotic as Planet Tatooine
in “Star Wars” to a Pueblo ceremony
that places us in the realm of the
numinous and psychedelic. is is
due to the bubbling cinematography
by Seamus Tierney (Liberal Arts)
that weaves a literal maze upon
the eyes.
And let us not forget the
legendary Russell Means, who gives
this spritely film a generous gravitas.
In his last role, Means simmers as a
benevolent volcano. Under his eyes
art is life, and life is art. History is
within.
“Tiger Eyes” ultimately puts us
in the spectrum of a kaleidoscope.
We are a prismatic fly on the wall,
seeing Davey’s tricolor tempests
firsthand, and it makes for a
satisfying push and pull on the
tumble of hearts.
e
Write Ian at [email protected]
www.TropicCinema.com
Tropic Cinema, the only nonprofit
art multiplex in South Florida. Rated
“Best Cinema in Florida 2009-2012”
18 www.konklife.com
RUBY’s & CLAY’s
GALLERY OPENING
LARRY BLACKBURN | photographer
ww.konklife.com 19
COMMUNITY | EVENTS
| Continued from page 6
December 1
Key West Triathlon
International athletes compete in third
annual Key West Triathlon set for Saturday, December 1. Presented by Key Wests
TRIKW LLC and Stay Fit Studio, challenge includes swimming in Atlantic
Ocean off Key West and biking and running beside the Atlantic. Event tests endurance in Olympic-distance and shorter
sprint-distance triathlons. Weekend kicks
off with race packet pickup and fitness
expo Friday, November 30, at Higgs
Beach on Atlantic Avenue, headquarters
for the race and associated events. Packets not available on race day. Saturday’s
action begins 7 a.m. with wave starts at
preset intervals. Awards at Higgs Beach.
Entry fees. Sanctioned by USA Triathlon.
December 1
Sculpture Key West
Civil War era forts on Key West’s Atlantic
Ocean shore backdrop for art during the
open-air exhibition. Performance art involves a unicycle tour along the Florida
Keys Overseas Heritage Trail. Large-scale
sculptures debut Saturday, December 1,
on the grounds of Fort Zachary Taylor at
the end of Southard Street beyond Truman Annex. Art lovers can meet the creators at a 4-5:30 p.m. champagne
reception at the park. Exhibit opens Saturday, December 8, at Key West Garden
Club at West Martello Tower, Atlantic
Boulevard at White Street. Champagne
meet-the-artists preview, 5-7 p.m. Friday,
December 7. Two unicycle artists complete their Overseas Heritage Trail, 4
p.m. to sunset Sunday, December 9, at
channel tiki hut, Fort Zachary Taylor
Historic State Park.
e
| Continued from page 3
Sculpture Key West Exhibits Opening
Reception, 3 PM. Fort Zachary Taylor
and Key West Garden Club at West
Martello Tower. 295-3800. (See above)
Sunday, December 2
Local Arts & Craft Market, 11 AM
Cowboy Bill’s Bar Courtyard, 618
Duval St. Live music.
Irene Stanton & Jennifer Martin
Exhibits, 1 PM Frangipani Gallery,
1102A Duval St. 849-1581.
Thru December 31.
Celebrate the Season Group Show
Reception, 5 PM Key West Art
Center, 301 Front St. 294-1241.
keywestartcenter.com
Wednesday, December 5
Show & Tell Art Meeting, 2 PM The
Wine Cottage, 930 Eaton St., Unit
C. 772-216-5933. Bring your art or
poetry. Wine tasting offered.
Key West Bight Before Christmas
Holiday Celebration: Key West
Historic Seaport.Tom Stroh,
304-2633. Thru December 31.
FESTIVALS & FUNDRAISERS
Thursday, November 29
Hurricane Season Ceremony &
Cuban Pirate Feast, 4 PM El
Meson de Pepe, Mallory Square,
410 Wall St. 296-9694.
conchrepublicmilitaryforces.com
Conch Republic High Command
Celebrates Official End of America's 2012 Hurricane Season.
e
DEAR
VENUS JONES
MAY TH E STAR B E W ITH YO U
FEELINGS
WHERE DO THEY GO?
Dear Venus Jones:
Where do the feelings go? I used to
love my mate so much, my partner,
my friend, my world. We did everything together, there was not
enough hours in the day for us to be
together. We shared everything.
Now we can hardly be around each
other at all without fighting about
the most trivial things — the toothpaste squeezed in the middle, or the
cap left off leads, to the most soul
crushing, mind bending fights.
What happened? I miss my friend.
Dear I Miss My Friend:
We spend a lot of time creating who
we are spinning the world around
us as we understand it and see it to
be, as we do this the energies of the
Natural body come into play forming the electro-magnetic field
around us or vibration these vibrations pulse like the waves of a radio
transmitting and receiving into and
from the world around us drawing
situations and people to us that are
at the same energy level as we are so
that we can share, grow and learn
together.
ese relationships can last forever as long as we continue to bring
new things and experiences into the
relationship so that we can continue
to grow and build as a unit. It is
when we stop the natural flow of
energy by not developing or having
any common goals or interests that
the dream machine stops and relationships die.
It is a universal law that if there
are more withdrawals than deposits
in anything that soon the coffers are
empty and the account is closed, it
is no different in the areas of life,
love, and the pursuit of happiness.
Really good relationships have to
be paid attention to and maintained
as well as re-evaluated and changed
periodically in order to continue to
be growth oriented, happily successful, and expansive socially, they do
not just happen without any work
20 www.konklife.com
on our part. Spontaneous combustion or heat may bring us together
but a partnership is contractual
when the agreement ends so does it.
Dear Venus Jones:
I am a divorced single mother and
my teenaged daughter and I just
had a major fight. We have quarreled before and these arguments
have gotten continually more aggressive. is time it turned physical on both sides, resulting in her
moving all of her things to her father’s house while I was at work
without resolving any of the issues.
I am devastated. What can I do to
make things right between the two
of us? She is my best friend.
Dear Devastated and Confused:
I can feel your pain, and I know
how difficult this situation is for
you. Now I have to give you some
very hard facts in order to try and
help you understand what happened and why.
First, I want to say this: no
shame, blame, or guilt here, no
matter what the now ruling system
may say. Teenagers always rebel,
always. It is necessary in order for
them to be able to separate from the
parents and begin to live their own
lives. No matter how much we love
them or they love us, we must always remember that our children
are not extensions of ourselves they
are individuals in their own right.
| Continued on page 23
DEAR VENUS
COLUMNIST
SYLVIA BOGART
BOURBON ST. PUB TURNABOUT
n LARRY BLACKBURN | photographer
www.konklife.com 21
happenings
KEY WEST FILM FESTIVAL
| Continued from page 5
to December 2, festival features
more than 30 films. Filmmakers, directors and producers associated
with many of them attend to discuss
creations and answer questions.
Films chosen for excellence in
storytelling and adherence to creativity, diversity, sustainability and
beauty. Screened at San Carlos Institute, 516 Duval St., and independent film multiplex Tropic Cinema,
416 Eaton St.
Among the festivals planned
highlights are showings of “Quartet”
marking Dustin Hoffmans directorial debut; “While We Were Here”
directed by Kat Coiro; “e Playroom” directed by Julie Dyer; “Starlet” starring Ernest Hemingways
great-granddaughter Dree Hemingway; “Tiger Eyes” written by bestselling author and Key West resident
Judy Blume with an appearance by
Blume; “Any Day Now” directed by
Travis Fine and the Florida premiere
UPFRONT
KONKLifes BIG SAVINGS are here!
521 Fleming St.
15% off
Advertise
YOUR
SPECIAL!
ALAN PIERCE
| Continued from page 4
Unfortunately, the elimination of
lionfish is not likely, given the scope
of the problem, but localized populations can be controlled through active removal efforts.
Its not all doom and gloom! Researchers have determined through
tagging studies that lionfish exhibit
high site fidelity, which is a fancy
term that means once they find a
good place to hang out, they generally never leave. Lionfish are also
slow and easy to see, which makes
them very easy to shoot. (I hear they
are on par with hogfish or snapper
after being dipped in hot grease for a
few minutes.) Lionfish derbies
hosted by the Reef Environmental
Education Foundation, artificial reef
of “Journey to Planet X.” Other
scheduled screenings include the
three finalist entries in the Big Vision Empty Wallet short comedy
film contest.
Events begin with opening-night
reception at the Ernest Hemingway
Home & Museum, 907 Whitehead
St., at 5:30 p.m. ursday, November 29. Festival features the musical
artistry of singer/songwriter Mat
Kearney to perform at 9 p.m. Friday,
November 30, at San Carlos Institute. To cap the film screenings, an
oceanfront champagne awards
brunch is scheduled at 10 a.m. at the
Westin Key West Resort, 245 Front
St., hosted by Kevin “Dot Com”
Brown of the television series “30
Rock.” Presentations include audience awards in multiple categories
and the Big Vision Empty Wallet
award.
e
INFO
Event schedule and ticketing:
www.keywestfilmfestival.com,
or [email protected]
organizations and dive clubs in recent years have proved to be a big
success and a ton of fun for those
participating.
If a diver, take up the fight. Understand lionfish have spines that are
venomous and can cause painful
wounds if not careful when handling
the fish. For information on lionfish
harvesting, handling, informational
workshops, derbies and reporting,
visit MyFWC.com/Nonnatives and
click on Marine Life. Also find information at REEF.org/lionfish.
Send photos and videos of your
adventure and have posted on the
web with your permission. Report lionfish catches to the U.S. Geological
Survey at (877)STOPANS (877786-7267). Record other catches at
snookfoundation.org or by using the
iAngler phone app. e
Monroe County Health Department warning
1219 Duval St.
(305) 295-9777
Free soda, water or chips
with sandwich purchase
* does not include breakfast
Home and business owners are asked to eliminate standing
water, which attracts mosquitos. An outbreak of dengue fever
happened between August 2009 and November 2010 sickening
more than 90 people. Health officials have confirmed no case
of the mosquito-borne illness since November 2010, thanks
to the work of mosquito control and the community at large.
INFO (305) 809-5653
22 www.konklife.com
BITCHIN
PARADISE
DICKSFUNCTION
h, this crazy little
island. Where else are
you going to spend your anksgiving gathered around the table
discussing the movie “e Sessions”
(about a guy confined to an iron
lung who employs a sex surrogate)
and whether starting a sex surrogacy
business would be viable here in Key
West?
Which then ventures into the
latest juicy tale of someone getting a
little afternoon delight earlier in the
day. (Madame X, save me the phone
call: you know your life is too good
for me not to write about ,and I
haven’t even mentioned the conjugal
visits. Love you!)
Which then segues into a
discussion of a friend of a friend of
a friend’s (also known as one of the
many bitches who hates me) online
ad for a guy whose penis size must
be no less than six inches, no greater
than seven, as her G-spot is very
particular. Apparently she’s had
about a million replies. Not sure if
photos were included. But this is
where I learned my lesson of the day:
DDF. Apparently, that means you
are drug and disease free.
is led to reminiscing about the
previous evening, when a friend
(Konk Life’s infamous Gadabout)
warned the guy I was on a date with
that its likely his dick would be
featured in my column. (Well, one
can hope its feature-length.) en
my friend asked if my date would
like to join him at Island House.
Perhaps he wants to write about it
first.
Occasionally my mind would
flash back to what I would be doing
if I was with the family. A anksgiving at home sometimes does have
its share of scandal: when you have
step-families, its always possible one
cousin is dating another. And one
or both are addicted to something.
Maybe I would have met the two
children an aunt gave birth to and
who were adopted by the same
couple. ey are now young adults
who just tracked her down. Everyone
is happy. And the one who looks like
Rob Lowe, the gay flight attendant?
at’s the one she tells everyone
reminds her of me. Not the college
co-ed.
I’ve been told more than once
that I am a gay man in a woman’s
body. Perhaps there’s something
to that.
e
DEAR
anything passive. You need to be
physically involved completely and
also something you like to do creatively. In other words, take up your
life where you may have left off when
the kids(s) came along and give yourself the love and energy you have
been giving them. ey will come
back to you, but only if you can let
them go, with love of course. e
[email protected] for any
questions you may have or to schedule
an appointment with me. May the
force be with you love and chaos.
O
VENUS
SYLVIA BOGART
| Continued from page 20
It is particularly harder when we try
to live out our own latent dreams
through them. ey have their own,
and even though they love you, they
cannot allow you to smother their
very real life force nor should you
want them to. I would suggest that
you take up a sport like swimming,
weight lifting, body surfing — not
Kimberley
Denney
@bitchinparadise
Hit me up, yo:
[email protected] or
www.bitchinparadise.net
Tweeting @bitchinparadise
www.konklife.com 23