View - Get Real! Learning

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Section 1...Who are you now?
 Transforming from child to adult...pages 8-9

4 Areas of Growth and Self to Consider...pages 10-13
 Guide to Me...pages 14-20
 My World...pages 21-23
 I am...page 24
 Thoughts About Money...page 25
 Letter to the World...pages 26-27
 Imagine Your Future...pages 28-29
 Success...pages 30-31
 Dealing with Challenges...pages 32-37
 Stress...pages 38-40
 Setting Priorities and Time Management...pages 41-50
 Goal Setting...pages 51-53
Section 2...Becoming an Adult + Education and Learning
 Learning to Swim...pages 56-57
 What Do You Think?...pages 58-59
 Parents...pages 60-63
 Knowledge...page 64
 Learning and Education so far...pages 65-69
 Strategies for Successful Adult Learning...pages 70-78
 Understanding Your Beliefs...pages 79-84
 I‟ve Learned...page 85
 What I believe...pages 86-91
 Good Society...pages 92-95
 Dreams...pages 96-99
 What Would You Do?...pages 100-103
 School and Success...pages 104-106
 In Your Bucket...page 107
 What Do you Think...page 108
 Things to Remember Before Moving on...page 109
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Get Real! Learning© 2011
Section 3…Building Your Future Life
 What you should know is true...page 112
 Pieces of Life‟s Puzzle...pages 113-115
 Future is around the corner...page 116
 Education, Career and Money...pages 117-118
 Introduction to College...pages 119-122
 Money Makes the World go Around...pages 123-129
 Realities of College...pages 130-133
 Success Tips for College...pages 134-136
 What Skills are Needed Most...pages 137-139
 Off to Work we Go...pages 140-143
 School and Employability Skills...pages 144-145
 21st Century Employability Skills...pages 146-154
 Life‟s Milestones...pages 155-157
 Job Application and Interview Questions and Tips...pages 158-164
 Picking Career Pathways...pages 165-177
 Money and College...pages 178-184
 College Choices and Research...pages 185-187
 Where will you live?...pages 188-193
 Home Sweet Home...pages 194-195
Section 4...What Makes Life Happy?
 Happiness and Building Strong Relationships...pages 197-199

Life Partners...pages 200-202
 Challenges in Marriage...pages 203-208
 Fighting Fair...pages 209-212
 Parenting...pages 213-214
 How to be Happy...pages 215-218
 Life List...pages 219-221
 Review...pages 222-224
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You‟re about to go on a journey into places of thinking that
can help you find what you‟ll need to build a spectacular life
for yourself.
When you were a child, your daily focus, other than eating
and sleeping, was mostly to learn and play. Simple. Little was expected of you in reference to your future. Sure, sometimes people might‟ve asked
you, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” No one really expected you to have
a concrete answer. Like all children, you basically lived each day believing your life
would just continue along until someday you‟d be a „grown-up‟!
Now you‟re a teenager and you probably understand that successful adult life
doesn‟t happen that easily. You‟ve probably noticed that life is beginning to expect
much more from you as years go by. Whether you‟ve realized it yet, or not, the time
of being a grown-up is right around the corner from you! Your childhood is beginning
to fade into your future, which can go many, many different directions. Your parents,
family, teachers, and other adults in your life have helped get you this far, but obviously, they won‟t be creating your life for you. The challenge is to realize NOW how
much the decisions you make NOW will effect the directions your life will take and
the choices you will have.
Everyone knows a house should have a strong foundation to survive the storms
of life. Your education, in school and in all areas of your life, FORM that foundation.
Just like the best houses are not built in one day or without plans, no one goes to
sleep one night a teenager and wakes up a successful adult! It takes time, dreaming,
planning, and hard work to build a great life.
This project was planned to help you begin that process. Get totally Real!
offers you a chance to learn about yourself, your beliefs and all the major elements
of what adult life will be expecting of you. Everyone knows some people who are
happy with the way their life has turned out and some that would have liked it to be
different. Get totally Real! was designed to support you as you create the life YOU
want!
Ultimately it will give you real knowledge from the real world to help you make
decisions to better ensure your future life will be what YOU want it to be. When
you‟re done, this book can be a great keepsake, like a time capsule, that
represents YOU as a teenager in the beginning stages of starting your
own life!
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List 5 things you imagine are common regrets people have.
Think of things as people look back on their lives make them wish
they‟d done something differently, made a different choice,
or if they could go back and change something.
Example: Many people regret not really focusing on their education in high school.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Most adults who see or hear about Get totally Real! say,
“Wow! I wish I‟d had that when I was a kid.”
They often look, as if they think by saying that it sounds like they don‟t like their life
as it is. While it doesn‟t mean that necessarily, most adults can‟t help but wonder IF they‟d
had a chance to go through the journey that Get totally Real! takes you...what might have
changed or been avoided or added to their lives. A majority of adults surveyed report they
don‟t like what they do for a living but feel trapped. Many say they wish they‟d spent more
time learning about themselves and what the world had to offer them before picking a college major, career pathway or had children. Many say they never thought much about those
things during high school, they just looked forward to getting their independence. Most of
us don‟t realize all the responsibilities that go into independence. If so many people wish
they‟d had the chance to do more planning before life raced along, something certainly can
be done to help more people get satisfaction from all the hours and years they work as
adults and feel more pleased with their choices.
While it‟s common to have some, I wish I‟d...or...if I‟d only known I would have…type
moments and thoughts, many adults realize that their life feels like it just got away from
them. As teens, they started out on the path to adult, graduated high school and got a job,
or got married, or had kids. It‟s almost like time flies by and next thing they know, their life
is what it is. Many feel they didn‟t take enough time to organize and design things before
starting out on the journey. There really is no concrete place/class in school set aside for
doing that, so this truly is a unique opportunity for you!
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Another great thing to know about yourself is what makes you special and
worth knowing or working with. It helps to know what your strengths are as a
person as well as your weaknesses that need improvement.
List 5 things that make you a great person to be around:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
List 5 things that make you a great friend to others:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
No one‟s perfect so….now...
List 5 things about you that you know you‟ll need to improve on, as you continue to
mature, to be a successful adult:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
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One of the areas of growth and thinking teens need is realizing that there‟s a huge world out
there. You are a member of the massive human race, where billions of people live each day in various qualities of life. Some are born into fortunate life experiences. Some are born into painful lives
with many challenges that make just surviving each day a battle. Some are born with handicaps or
illnesses that add challenges. Some are born with unique gifts and talents. Some are born into huge
families and some small or no family to speak of. No one picks the life circumstances they‟re born
into and we‟re mostly unaware of what else is out there in others‟ lives. There are surely people out
there with better lives than yours and some with worse. Now is a great time to start looking
around at what YOUR world gives you and at the bigger world
beyond your view.
Start by looking/thinking about YOUR personal world…
the life your parents/guardians have provided for you:
First describe the city/town you live in:
Big? Small? Loud? Crowded? Quiet? Exciting? Do you like it?
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Next describe your home:
What does it look like? How is it decorated? Colorful? Big? Small? New? Old? Apartment? Yard?
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Now describe your bedroom:
Decorations? Colors? Clean? Do you share it? Like it? What would you change?
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Dreams are an important part of building lives,
but certainly not enough to MAKE real life happen.
People don’t one day go to sleep a child and wake up a responsible adult. Your teenage years are
when that adjustment begins. There are many things that you can start thinking, talking and reading
about now that can help you get ready for your future. Many of the choices you make now begin to
determine how hard or difficult it will be to get the things you want in life.
Experiences and habits you form now will make your life easier OR harder as you adjust into
adulthood. Everyone’s life has challenges. Even though it may not feel like it at times, no one’s life
is perfect. In everyone’s life there are things they CAN control and work to improve, and there are
also things that they CANNOT control or change, but must learn to deal with.
Below is a chart of outside factors in your life, things you cannot control or had NO
say in happening to you, that could shape your future by helping you accomplish your
dreams, OR as obstacles that make it harder for you to make your dreams reality.
Factors that might HELP your life in the future:
Factors that could be seen as things that could
HURT your future or make your life difficult.
Example: being born healthy
Examples: divorced parents/struggle to learn
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If you have internet access go to www.getreallearning.com On the page called Extras, there are links
to powerful videos about attitude and overcoming challenges. Watch some and consider YOUR attitude
about life and how you can overcome challenges. You are more powerful than you might think!
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People who don’t know where they want their lives to end up, or what
they want to happen along the way, find themselves just drifting along
through life, like a rudderless boat. Without a rudder it’s impossible to
steer a boat, so the tides and current take it where they want.
Ultimately your best chance of having the life YOU choose is to begin
deciding now what YOU want. After that you can learn how to set goals
and figure out how to make it happen!
List 4 things you want to see as truths in your life for each time frame.
Example: By the time I’m 30, I want to buy a house.
This school year…
1.
2.
3.
4.
Before leaving high school…
1.
2.
3.
4.
By the time I am 30...
1.
2.
3.
4.
By the time I’m ready to retire (65 yrs old)...
1.
2.
3.
4.
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Growing up and maturing into an adult is like
learning to swim.
Write a brief description of the steps you‟d take
teaching a child of yours to swim.
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Think of all the places people swim, from pools to lakes. As an adult, life is most
like swimming in the ocean! The goal of the adults in your life is to prepare you as much
as possible for that kind of challenging, life or death swimming! No one would throw a
child into the deep ocean to teach them to swim, just like no one expects young teenagers to be able to survive successfully on their own in adult life.
As young children, we get ready to handle all the responsibilities of adult life in tiny
steps, like most people learn to swim in stages. We often start in little plastic wader
pools on the lawn. We play and splash getting used to the feel of water on our
faces, but there is no serious danger of drowning because the water is very
shallow and the adults stay very close by. Our whole life is like that when we‟re
young. We mature, taking more and more risk while the adults in our lives keep
us alive and safe.
Elementary school is like being on the steps in the shallow end of a real
pool. We‟re supervised by lifeguards to make sure we don‟t drown. That‟s like
parents, coaches, teachers, and other adults in our lives who keep us safe as we
mature. We usually stay where we can touch the bottom and wear floaties on
our arms that allow us to feel like we‟re swimming without facing all the real
danger. We practice and improve the movements of swimming and gain more ability to
swim alone, but the steps are close, we‟re supervised and safe and there‟re nothing in
the pool that wants to hurt us, like there will be in the ocean of adult life! In elementary school, you went through many of the motions of being on your own more and more
with time, however adults were almost always close by to run to for help, safety or answers. You might have practiced playing grown-up or even gone through the motions of
having a girlfriend or boyfriend. All that is practice to get you ready for the next level!
High school and the teenage years are like swimming in the deep end of the big
pool, with no floaties or support toys. The side wall or help and support of adults is
there if needed, but we need the practice of swimming on our own to build skills and
stamina. We can swim to the bottom, which is much scarier and more dangerous than in
the shallow end, but there are still lifeguards and adults in our lives to help or save us
from drowning.
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What do you think?
Let‟s see what you think about things right NOW that have to do
with life and your future. Read the statements below. For each one,
write your initial response explaining whether you mostly agree or
disagree with each statement and why.
Be specific about where in life your thoughts come from.
It‟s important to begin
choosing your career path while
you‟re in high school so that you
can prepare
accordingly.
Example: I don’t think high school is when you should pick a career because no adults
I know did that. On the other hand almost none of the adults I know really
like their jobs so maybe they were wrong.
It‟s important to be flexible
about the career path you
choose because you might not
be able to find a job or you
might not like it once you get in
it.
You need to know yourself
before you can make career &
college related decisions.
The specific things you learn in
high school are very
important to your future.
People who get good grades are
just smarter than other people.
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NO ONE knows everything!
What we can learn from others...
Many times when we‟re teenagers, we feel like the adults in our lives
think they know more about us and what we should do than we do.
Sometimes they do because of their life experiences. Sometimes they
don‟t because their lives are different than ours. Both are normal.
It‟s really wise to take in all kinds of information and advice from as
many places and people as we can to help us make our best decisions. Notice that it‟s still
OUR own best decisions that have to be made for OUR own lives. No one can really make
your life happen for you except YOU, but you really can learn a TON from other‟s lives
to avoid as many regrets and mistakes as possible.
Think of some adults you trust and admire. Pick one that you feel you could learn
some things from about life. Ask them the following questions.
Listen to their answers then write summarizations in a few complete sentences.
1. Are you completely happy with your current life? If so, why? If not, why?
What could make you happier?
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2. When you were my age, what did you think being adult would be like?
Explain some ways you were right and some ways you were wrong?
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3. If you could go back to my age, with the wisdom living your life has given you,
what would you do differently and WHY?
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There‟s a wise old saying…“If you give a man to fish,
he can eat for a day. If you teach that man to fish,
he can eat for a lifetime.”
As with many old sayings this idea has multiple meanings
and is true about many things in life.
Fishing, for sport or for survival, is more rewarding if you actually catch a fish.
The same is true of education! Learning new things that can help you survive life is
rewarding! Neither learning nor fishing are much fun if they don‟t work.
A beginning fisherman catches less fish than someone who‟s been fishing for years.
Catching a huge fish makes someone more proud than catching a tiny one! Learning is the
same in many, many ways. The better the reading and learning tools you use, the bigger,
more powerful the knowledge you can PULL out with the same time and effort!
The next few pages will introduce you to some foundational reading/learning
strategies that can greatly increase the success levels of your efforts.
If you focus on gaining these skills, you‟ll feel more successful and catch
more knowledge! Being a more independent learner makes you more selfsufficient, like being able to feed yourself with the fish you catch. Your future
bosses and college professors will require that you learn on your own, so gaining
and strengthening those skills now makes senses.
So far in school most of the fish or knowledge has been made easy for
you to catch. Teachers and parents selected the lure and baited your hook for
you, so you could learn most of what you have so far. You were told what to learn and how
to learn it. This segment of Get totally Real! is designed to give you your own tackle box
of the basic tools needed to fish (or learn) for yourself for the rest of your life. By the
time you leave high school, you should be completely independent when
learning new things, because that is what‟ll be expected in college or on the job.
Teens don‟t often realize how much continual reading and learning adults
do to keep their lives and jobs on track. Once you know these tools and how to
use them based on what kind of reading/learning you‟re being asked to do, the more
successful your learning time will be. Like all skills, you get better with practice, so
you don‟t waste your time and end up frustrated.
Research shows there are some basic strategies that all people can benefit from
learning and using and you are about to be introduced to a few of them.
(If you have internet access, go to www.getreallearning.com. Click on Extras page and watch video part 1.)
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Talking to the text
is the most widely used tool in
reading to learn or fishing for knowledge. It‟s the like the fishing
pole that holds everything else, like bait and hooks, together. Just
like very few people would choose to attempt fishing without a pole,
the same goes for reading to learn without talking to the text.
Research shows that much more information is learned when people
interact with the text. Talking to the Text is interacting with text.
At first it may seem odd or awkward. The same goes for using a
fishing pole. Learning to cast your line is a challenge, but once you get it, you can cast
much farther out and catch much bigger fish! The same is true with reading to learn!
The better you engage in talking to text, the more knowledge and understanding you will
gain with the same amount of time!
Talking to the Text (T3) is the most basic reading and learning tool that all
sophisticated learners use while doing essential reading to learn. You don‟t use T3 for
recreational reading, like magazines, but all successful adult learners, in college and at
work, do some sort of T3 to learn from text. There are many reasons why T3 is essential.
One is that adults are often asked to read things for work one day to be used at a meeting several days later. How could they possibly remember what they were thinking or
learning while reading after that much time has gone by? They can‟t. T3 is MUCH more
efficient and dependable than trying to remember everything later on.
So what does T3 mean? It means listening to your brain as you read, to hear what
it‟s thinking, wondering, asking, responding, etc. while you reading to learn things. Basically, you make markings on the actual text you‟re reading. When that‟s not possible,
you can use post-it notes, for example, to stick on the pages, or take notes on a separate
sheet of paper as you go along. Many of the assignments in Get totally Real! have assigned
T3 instructions. They are to give you ideas and practice looking for things worth noting as
you become a more sophisticated ADULT reader. In some high school courses, and definitely in college, students find they HAVE to T3 once assigned the higher levels of reading. Those who can already do this when they get to college suffer MUCH less stress
adjusting to the types and pace of reading to learn.
When you‟re reading to learn, you NEVER get it all in one reading, so you have to
decide what‟s critical to „catch,‟ pull out or make note of while reading. T3 also to helps
focus your reading and give it clear purpose so you get more out of it. Afterward,
your T3 markings are there to be used later for notes, discussion or writing papers.
(If you have internet access go to www.getreallearning.com. Click on Extras page and watch video part 2)
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Next is about what beliefs ARE, what they ARE NOT, and where they come from.
As you read really THINK about what is being said.
Make the following T3 markings as you read:
1. Underline or highlight things you agree with.
2. Circle unfamiliar words.
3. Put a “?” in the margin where you get confused.
Our beliefs about the world around us and ourselves can be limiting and can, in a lot of
cases, be unfounded when we question them. At times, we aren’t even sure WHY we might believe
something. It helps to look at beliefs, how they are formed and what we can do if the beliefs we hold
may be doing us more harm than good. It helps to really be certain we CHOOSE to believe in the
things we say we do rather than follow along blindly.
From the day we were born we have been ‘programmed’ to believe what others tell us to or
tell us is truth. We are trained to believe in what is right and what is wrong. We may have been encouraged to believe in things like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy as little children. Eventually
many people feel the need to address the area of religious beliefs, especially in difficult times. Many
of us get religious beliefs from family and friends. With many beliefs, they become what we know
even before we know what believing means. For example, many of us come to believe in things
within our parents’ religion and initially often without question. Things like God created the world
and gives us life after death are thoughts that come from somewhere, rather than just an idea a kid
gets one day. Parents may tell us things like this, our friends may share beliefs with us, churches and
school may also offer some beliefs like these.
At different times in life we might question our beliefs. We may decide that some of the
things our parents believe, we don’t. Some we do. Many in their teens and early twenties, think
through their opinions of religion and the purpose of life especially. Some never really feel the need
to ask questions and keep the same beliefs as their parents. Originally ALL our beliefs, like everything else we know about life initially, are given to us by others. Often during life’s greatest challenges and hardships, our beliefs get tested. It seems most humans do some thinking and wondering
about life purposes, how we got here, what we’re supposed to do while here and where we go when
we die. At various times, many of our beliefs get challenged, reevaluated and redefined so we can
continue to hold onto them. At times, our beliefs give us strength and the will to keep going through
problems. Our beliefs give us the ability to work and fight for causes. Everyone MUST have beliefs
because not everything is visible and concrete enough to touch or explain.
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Life is full of lessons...we can choose to learn from them to make our lives
richer and more profound, OR we can choose to ignore or
complain about them. Each day we get 24 hours and much
happens. Take a minute and think about what you might have learned
about yourself or life in just the past few days or hours!
Below is a list of lessons learned from living life:

I‟ve learned that you can do something in one instant that can cause problems and heartache
for years to come.
I‟ve learned my parents are just regular people doing the best they can with who they are and
what they know.
I‟ve learned there are no THINGS that are as valuable as people and time spent with them.
I‟ve learned Christmas shouldn't be about the presents, but about the real gifts of family and
friends and the immense value they give life.
I‟ve learned that boredom never killed anyone, instead it often propels us to try new and
extraordinary things.
I‟ve learned that just because someone doesn‟t love you the way you want them to doesn‟t
mean they don‟t love you THEIR way.
I‟ve learned family defines some of what and who were are...our choices define the rest!
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I‟ve learned what I do can really affects those I love.
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Those were just a few to get your brain thinking. Now write 5 of your own!
 I‟ve learned…
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1. Write a brief Sum-It-Up below of the WHOLE article with 25 words or less.
Remember a summary gives an idea of the article’s meaning without details in a sentence or two.
___________ __________ __________ __________ _________
__________ __________ __________ __________ __________
__________ __________ __________ __________ __________
__________ __________ __________ __________ __________
__________ __________ __________ __________ __________
2. Write a list of the 10 “markings of a good society” explained in the article.
After each one, write a brief response about whether or NOT you think these traits CLEARLY
exist in YOUR community or the world as you see it. Next to each one write a specific example
from real life to support your opinion.
The first one is done for you as an example:
1.
Laws are what citizen‟s beliefs of what‟s right and fair. Our prisons are so full that I think it shows
not enough people agree with laws so they don‟t follow them.
2.
3.
4.
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7.
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10.
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One of the best ways to figure out how you think the world should work and especially how YOU will make your way in that world is to consider what you‟d do around different situations that force people to make tough, ethical and moral decisions. These
things happen often in life. Ethical pertains to things that deal with what„s right and
wrong. Now that you‟re older, you know that the distinction and lines between right and
wrong are not always 100% clear, and not everyone agrees. For example, some feel it‟s
acceptable to put animals to sleep when they seem too old to enjoy life or seem to be in
pain. Some feel it‟s wrong to decide when or how any one or any thing dies, regardless of
the circumstances. Both believe they‟re right...so who‟s right? We‟re often confronted
with ethical decisions like that. What we decide defines who we are more than we often
realize and more than anything else.
Think about how you would respond to each of the following situations if they happened to
you. For your T3 markings, underline or highlight the words in each scenario that would help you
make your decisions. Write each answer in complete sentences.
1. You and a friend are shopping and you notice he/she slip something into their backpack without paying for it.
Explain what you‟d do and WHY:
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2. You are babysitting for someone and they told you not to have any friends there. You
but the kids to bed and some of your friends show up uninvited.
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3. A friend of your has really bad body odor and doesn‟t seem to realize it but other kids
are talking about it behind his/her back.
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As you read this segment your T3 markings should include:
1. UNDERLINING things that you think are helpful to know.
2. HIGHLIGHTING things that you KNEW or have thought about before.
If you think about your education so far you‟ll probably realize that up to your teenage years, school was typically fun and easy. Most students progress along without many
struggles or problems. High school is four short years of life time devoted to putting your
previous collection of knowledge to use in preparing you to go out and earn a living as an
adult. Ultimately that is what the knowledge and skills gained will be used for, to get and
keep jobs/careers and become solid, responsible members of society. High school is the
place where the „training wheels‟ of learning must come off so you can learn on your own,
whenever and whatever you need to. Just going to school and not putting in effort won‟t
get you far. You MUST build skills to learn on your own which takes effort, practice and
determination at times. All that effort builds the stamina for learning, which adults use to
keep their lives in order. Teachers may teach differently and offer less „fun‟ activities in
high school in order to get you more prepared for the college or workplace learning of your
future. Professors in college and bosses at work don‟t care if you‟re bored, whether or not
you feel like doing the work, or if things are hard for you to learn. They require and expect
things like independent learning skills, the commitment to do the work needed, and whatever motivation it takes to get it done. They expect all that but offer very little „hand
holding,‟ or help. High school, not college or on the job, is the place to learn how to do all
that and acquire the skills.
One of the hardest things for most teens to realize is that high school is the
FIRST place in life where failure can have serious consequences and „trying‟ isn‟t always
enough to get you by. It‟s when most find they have many more choices and freedoms than
they‟re used to having, which causes more temptations away from studying or
focusing in class. Early on people often make the mistake of not recognizing the
major differences that high school requires for real success. There you
have much more to think about and organize, from important tests, to
sports, to new social situations like clubs, and even jobs. The changes in
responsibilities and what the world expects from you increases quite a
bit and can feel very overwhelming.
20
21
Now that you‟ve spent some time thinking about yourself and
other elements of life, your journey will now take a look into what it
will take to build the life you want to live.
In order for this section to make sense, the following things are
assumed to be true about you and your understandings about life and how it all
works.

1. You obviously speak/read English. Whether it‟s your primary language or
not, English is a language you‟ve been taught for some reason. Most likely to
improve your options in the future. Even though you speak English, you may
live in another country with life styles that are different to some things covered
in this section. Hopefully, you will be able to adjust them to fit your culture
and the way life works.

2. You‟re being educated to and/or through the high school level. Either
you‟re living in a country, like the United States, that chooses to give free
education to all children, or your parents are paying for you to be educated.
Either way you live in a culture that values education and is willing to invest in
that for and with you.

3. You want the best life you can create using your talents, intelligence and
hard work. NO ONE plans to have a miserable life, but you‟re old enough to
know that many people do have lives that are less successful and less comfortable than others.

4. Unless you were born into a very wealthy family, you realize you‟ll soon
HAVE to work in order to pay for your life.

5. You probably understand by now that MONEY is a major component to
an adult life. While not all countries in the world are the same, one thing is true
for MOST modern countries, the more education one has the more money
they make. Education levels are the top predictor for financial security and
success.

6. You understand that NO ONE at your age knows exactly how their life
will turn out, and most are rather nervous about how it will all work out.

7. You realize that what your life will BE is almost entirely up to how hard
you‟re willing to work at things like education and improving your skills for
workplace success.
22
What adults do all day to earn their living is the most obvious piece to the puzzle.
It has a impact on life in two basic ways.
1. Whether someone feels positive or negative about their job impacts their mood and
outlook on life.
2. The amount of income determines the quality of lifestyle they live.
Most adults work at least 8 hours per day, 5 days per week, 51 weeks per year.
(Since vacation time varies, assume that people work 51 weeks out of 52.)
Figure out how many hours per YEAR an adult works in your community.

Put that number here:______________ = Hours worked per YEAR
Multiply that by 40, (the average number of years most adults work.)

Put that number here: _____________= Hours worked in lifetime.
Now that you see how many hours people work, you can see why it has great impact on the quality of one’s life!
Where someone lives also has a significant impact on their lives.
Not just what country with it’s unique challenges and benefits, but
within each country there are areas
that offer a variety of lifestyles. All those things impact the cost of living or how expensive it is to live
there. Some jobs are restricted to certain areas of the world, and some have no real limitations.
Now that life is greatly impacted by internet use, where some one lives will have less impact than it used to. People can
work from locations and use technology to allow much more freedom. There are many factors that can go into the decision of where to live. For example some people want to live near family and places they grew up. Some want large city
type lifestyles, certain hobbies or sports or even availability of some certain industries.
Write 2-3 sentences about what things might help you decide where you will live.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Where you live, can have a noteworthy impact on the price of things like food and housing.
If you have internet access, do a bit of research to compare your country with others or one area
of your country with another. You will find that many jobs pay different amounts in
different parts of the country because of the varying prices of life’s necessities.
Most people seem to feel is the people in their lives and the quality of those
relationships that have the potential to impact the quality of their lives tremendously. If you have
close friends and family that provide positive love and support, all other challenges seem easier to
deal with or overcome. When we are forced or choose to deal with negative relationships, they do have the
potential to deeply damage our sense of how happy our life is. Relationships are immensely challenging yet there
are many skills we can develop, like communication, that give us abilities to deal with them well. Relationships at
work, play and home can often make or break our lives, so are a vital piece of life puzzle. Making decisions on personal
relationships like when and who to marry, to parent or not, are absolutely momentous to our life’s satisfaction and happiness. That’s why having skills to build solid, supportive work relationships, as well as friendships, can be almost as
vital as marriages and family.
23
Job/Career...what people do to earn a living.
List 3 ways that someone‟s choice of job/career impacts
their life. Example: Your daily attitude.
1.
2.
3.
Where you live...
List 3 ways that someone‟s choice of place to live impacts their life:
1.
Example: Prices of houses
2.
3.
Cost of living and Finances...bills and budgets.
List 3 ways that cost of living and finances impact lives:
Example: Deciding how money is spent can cause stress.
1.
2.
3.
Relationships...
List 3 ways that someone‟s relationships impact their life:
Example: Give a feeling of safety.
1.
2.
3.
24
BEFORE reading, go through the first 3 P’s (Review them on page 71, if needed.)
* Your purpose is to be able to explain the main points of the article and write one of each of the
4 types of Questions when done. Your T3 markings can help you do that.
* Preview the article quickly to see how it is set up and what is available to help you get the
information.
* The Plan is done for you below in your T3 instructions. In real life, you‟ll decide what T3 will
help you. Notice what was picked for you and that‟ll give you some ideas for when you‟re on your own.
* Perform While reading do the following T3 markings:
1. Put (?) in margins in places you get confused/or would want to ask a question about it.
2. Underline or highlight things you agree with.
3. Put (*) in margins where you know someone whose life experiences are like those described.
4. Put (!) near information that surprises you or doesn‟t seem true.
For some deciding whether to go to college or not is easy. For some the only question is
which college do they want to attend and what major to study. For some, lack of money seems to
make that decision for them. For some even deciding whether it’s worthwhile to graduate from high
school is just as difficult. We all have different ideas and beliefs about education and college. Many
of those come from our parents and other family members. Many come from our early educational
experiences, and how we felt while growing up as a learner. The bottom line is, that most of us living
in the 21st century industrialized countries, accept that how much education someone has definitely
impacts their income levels and job security. People who are educated are much less likely to be
unemployed for long periods of time. In this expensive world, not graduating from high school almost
certainly guarantees that you’ll struggle to survive financially. Later you’ll read more concrete information about that, so for now, let’s assume you’ll definitely work hard enough to graduate from high
school.
The next obvious decision is whether you will go to college or not. While in high school, most
students and their parents focus on getting high enough grades and test scores so they can get accepted to a college of their choice. The competition is tough but that is actually the easiest part.
Making sure you are prepared to learn at the college level is much more challenging and important
than getting accepted. Many students drop out before finishing with a degree because they can’t
keep up with the pace, or are not independent enough learners. You’ll also read later about why
that’s true and how to avoid that from happening to you, if you decide to go.
25
Grading the quality of life from the outside.
People judge things. We just do. We judge sometimes to decide how much we like or
dislike something. Sometimes we judge to decide the quality of things. It‟s normal and often
helpful. For this assignment you‟re going to write about what STEREOTYPICAL factors go
into deciding and/or judging the quality of people‟s lives in your community. Think about the kinds of
things people use to judge how good someone‟s life might be. For example, if you see someone driving a
really nice, expensive car, you probably decide they are most likely rich and successful. Sometimes we‟re
right and sometimes wrong. There are all kinds of things that aren‟t seen that make life look like it does.
For example, perhaps that person driving that expensive car, stole it or inherited it from a grandparent! It‟s
fair to say that no one PLANS or CHOOSES to have a „failing‟ life but we all know that some lives sure at
least LOOK better from the outside than others. For now we are going to try to get a sense of what makes
up the quality of someone‟s life from what can be SEEN from the outside.
Here are the kinds of things we might look at to decide how „good‟ someone‟s life is:
Car or method of transportation
Clothes/Appearance
Education level
List 5 more ways people judge how successful someone is in your culture:
 1.
 2.
 3.
 4.
 5.
Now imagine giving the quality of a 30year old adult‟s life a letter grade (A-F) like we use to
judge the quality of work done in school. Picture in your mind what an “F”‟s life might look like. Using
some of the factors listed above, describe their life with some specific details. Here‟s a reminder of what
letter grades mean A= excellence B= above average C = average. D= below average F= failing



Example: “Mr. C graduated from high school and went to junior college where he received an 2 yr. degree.
He works as a manager for a department store and is married to Mrs. C and they have two kids. He drives a…..”
Write 3-5 sentences describing a typical life for each letter grade:
A:
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
B:
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
26
Parent/Adult, please help me learn about cost of living by answering the following:
Review the list of typical household expenses your student brainstormed on the
previous page. Copy #2-10 from their list onto yours, and on the blank next to each
one make your best guess about what that would cost someone currently living in YOUR
town/city. Please note: They‟re imagining a young couple with no children and making
guesses based on what they think they know about what things cost.
1. Housing (rent on 1-2 bedroom apartment/home)
__________________
2.
__________________
3.
__________________
4.
__________________
5.
__________________
6.
__________________
7.
__________________
8.
__________________
9.
__________________
10.
__________________
Add amount 1-10 and put total here= __________________
Please continue onto next page
27
Getting into college is much easier than getting through it with a degree. It is a degree that
REALLY makes a difference in salaries. Currently about 55% of college freshmen do not return
their 2nd year. Most report it‟s due to burn-out, lack of skills needed to be successful, or immature
choices. Out of the 45% who do return, only approximately 28% of Americans currently graduate
with a degree. College is one of life‟s greatest financial investments, no matter which kind you
choose, so the decision is really serious. To make the best decision, you need facts about what it
takes to be successful and decide to make it happen. It isn‟t enough to go just because college
graduates earn more money, and are less likely to be unemployed, than those without degrees.
It seems obvious that most teens don‟t have a clear picture of the differences between high
school and college. Obviously, most ideas come from television or movies. Some envision college
like another 4 years of high school, so they hesitate going because that seems boring. Some have no
idea what to expect, or what they‟ll have to do to be successful there. Some envision one big party.
The fact is that while many report their college years as an amazingly, fun experience, they‟re also
often some of the most challenging, difficult years of someone‟s life.
Here are your T3 instructions for this reading:



Put a ! where you are surprised by the information.
Underline pieces of GOOD advice you want to remember.
Put a ? where you may have heard something different from else about college.
Here are some of the facts and differences between high school and college:
 First classes often cover some of the same subjects as those in high school
The first year or two are often filled with general education classes. It’s like retaking things like Algebra or
Biology only much harder at faster paces. If you did well in high school, keeping up is much easier than if
you spaced out in class, didn’t really LEARN the material, or worse yet, cheated your way through it. It is
VERY helpful to keep your notes, major exams and papers in all major required academic classes. You can
use these as review/support tools.

Varying class sizes
Class size varies depending on the course and size of college. While some classes have fewer than 40 students, classes can have anywhere from 50-500 students. First and second year general education classes, that
almost everyone has to take, tend to be large while upper-division classes are smaller. There is often almost
no one-on-one help from professors, especially in really large classes.
28
Let‟s see what you think are important skills?
If someone would let you start a business of any kind, what kind would
you pick? ______________________________
Imagine you started this business and you‟ve worked hard to build it
into something successful. It‟s now grown too busy for you to run
alone, so you need to hire an assistant.
Brainstorm a list of 10 things you would demand in someone you
would consider hiring as your right hand person. These can be personality characteristics or skills he/she would need to have before you
could/would trust them enough to help you run your business.
(for example : punctuality, honesty)
Next to each one write an example of behavior you would be
able to observe BEFORE you hire to see if he/she had each trait.
(For example: punctuality = arriving on time to the interview)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
29
As you continue to read/think and talk about what it takes to build the
life you want, work is such a large portion of an adults‟ life that you MUST begin
thinking about that seriously. Here is an article full of recommendations from
successful, global corporations about what it will take to be successful in this
century. Technology has forever changed the workplace and future career options so being flexible and having the major skills employers want will help you find greater
career success.
Too many think successful careers and lives “just happen,” so they leave a lot up to
chance and luck. One day, you‟re going to have to go out into the world and work for a living.
Many find themselves in jobs/careers by chance rather than by choice. They end up doing
things they may not enjoy, but have bills to pay so they feel stuck. Many find themselves
without the skills needed to be successful at work, so lose jobs or don‟t get promotions to
higher paying job.
As you read the article, focus your T3 on these things:
You decide how to mark each thing differently.
1. Mark the EMPLOYABILITY skills recommended.
2. Mark the skills you think YOU already have and/or do WELL.
3. Mark the ones you do NOT have yet or do NOT do well.
Because the world is changing, so are jobs and what is expected. Employers express considerable dissatisfaction with the levels of certain skills of those coming to job interviews. Many
express that more than half of the young people leaving school do not have the knowledge or
foundational skills, abilities and habits required to find and hold a good job.
This dissatisfaction with young job applicants, newly entering the job market, is not
mostly due to inadequate knowledge or skills. Employers report that they have less problems
with the skills performance of today's graduates, than they have of their non-technical abilities or
something called employability skills. Simply stated, employability skills are the characteristic of
employees, other than things like math or science knowledge that make them valuable to the
employer.
In general these skills expected for success in the workplace include, reading challenging
text independently, doing basic arithmetic accurately, problem solving, decision making, being
dependable and responsible, having a positive attitude, showing cooperativeness, and other skills
generally not found in descriptions of classes taken in high school.
30
The next major milestone is often a first job. Many make the
mistake of just walking into their first interview cold without preparation. Get totally Real! is designed to give you a „leg-up‟ on things
like education and other habits that build success. You‟re getting information and thinking that most teens, especially those on their own,
would not get. One of the many ways you can take advantage of that is in the area of job
hunting and interviewing.
Wanting a job is often the first time people realize that life is full of competition.
Not like in a sport, but the kind that can hurt your ego and ultimately as an adult, your
ability to feed yourself. Going out into the world to get a job, one realizes that for the first
time, their parents often cannot help. They also realize that people in the real world do not
know or care much about them or their feelings. For employers, it‟s about who can do the
job the best. The sooner you start to think of yourself as someone competing for jobs and
what you realistically have to offer, the more confident you‟ll be. Now that you have clear
and specific information about what employers want, you should notice that your work
habits as a student build habits that you‟ll take with you to get and keep jobs.
The following pages are typical questions asked during job interviews. Read them,
think about yourself, think of the things you‟ve done and skills you‟ve gained by being a
student, a family member, a church member, on a sports team, etc. Remember they won‟t
expect that you know HOW to do the job because that requires training and experience.
They‟ll be looking for evidence of the people skills and attributes that will build your success
on the job and help their business grow.
Think back on all the skills that employers expect in those they hire and try to incorporate some of those qualities into your answers. When you‟re in a job interview, you‟ll
need to share examples how you are things you claim to be. For example, no employer will
believe you just because you tell them you‟re hard-working. The only concrete evidence
that teens can use as real, factual proof they are hard-working is grades. Many employers
have teens bring copies of report cards or transcripts to prove their work habits. That can be a
huge motivator to do well, if you‟re struggling to care about your grades.
31
Write complete 3-4 sentence answers for each one,
using your best vocabulary, sentence structure, punctuation, etc.

Tell me about yourself.
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________

What can you offer our team? Or what makes you a good team player.
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________

What are your best attributes?
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
32
In order to look at jobs, it helps to start by considering what
already interests you. School classes often gives people the beginning ideas about what they like and are naturally good at doing. Sometimes we aren‟t great at things to begin with, but we like them so much that
we‟re willing to work harder to get better at them. You study so many different types of
subjects in school because they all offer you, not only a basic foundation of knowledge
that everyone needs to survive as adults, but it can also be used to begin narrowing in on
what you LIKE learning and doing. Wherever you find your natural strengths in classes,
they are great places to consider careers that focus on those things. When you realize
your personality traits, and likes and dislikes, you can look to find matches between what
kind of person you are and what kind of people best suit certain careers.

Think about yourself and answer all the following questions.
What 3 classes or subjects do you do well in without a lot of effort:
1.
2.
3.

List 5 things you like to learn about. (These may be things outside of school learning.)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

List the last 2 things you were curious enough about to research on your own.
1.
2.

List the 3 jobs you‟ve been around or observed most in real life.
1.
2.
3.
33
Career choice is one of the 4 most important decisions of one‟s life, because we
spend so much of our lifetime working. The average person, if they‟re lucky, works about
40 years. They‟re lucky, because not working as an adult is a problem. Those years work out
to be about 460 months! Most work at least 160 hours per month. That means you‟ll be
working at least 73,600 HOURS of your life!
You can imagine you‟ll feel better and happier about your life if you enjoy that work,
get satisfaction out of it, and do it well. You‟ll also appreciate a salary that feels fair as
well as have opportunities to advance, if desired. So, this is a chance to think and learn
more about this more before you commit.
For this part of the journey to your future, you will choose and research 3 careers
that you think you may really be interested in pursuing.
(You should ONLY select professional athletes, actors,
singers, etc. for ONE choice because those jobs do not follow the NORMAL pattern of education and salary. The odd of success are much less
and luck is a bigger factor than most jobs.)
You‟re responsible for doing real research and finding information that is not already
known to everyone. For example, writing that a nurse takes care of patients and works in a
hospital doesn‟t count as research because everyone knows that already! The information
you put in your notes MUST include: Salary, job qualifications, necessary education/
training, what is predicted about the future of that profession, what the daily work duties
include, etc. When you take your notes and use them to write a paper later, you‟ll be required to include information explaining 3 things you view as benefits and 3 things you view
as disadvantages for each profession, so look for those as you go and try to get those into
your notes. For example, working in an office, might be seen as a benefit to you and a disadvantage to someone else.
If you are in the U.S. and plan on living here, first go to Department Of Labor website, www.dol.gov. Go to the „Occupational Outlook‟ area. This gives you access to virtually
any job/career available if you click on the A-Z index. The site gives you very simple basic
information to start with. You should also go to www. www.bls.gov and click on „Pay and
Benefits‟. If you are not in the U.S., you can use www.dol.gov for general information then try
www.worldsalaries.org to find the pay for each job in your own country.
34
The next couple pages will take a budget a couple steps further to continue on
helping you find the realities of the life you are headed out into. If you are not in the U.S., you
can adjust some of these items and still get the same kinds of information.
1. Find the most current National Average YEARLY Salary. Use www.ssa.gov, if in U.S.
Write that amount in box #1
2. Congratulations!! You just got married or found your true love that you want to
build a life with. For the sake of this project you‟ll both earn the National Average Salary, you
just found, so take the amount in box #1 and multiply it by 2 to get your new HOUSEHOLD‟s
GROSS annual income. That means how much you make before taxes.
3. Before you can start paying bills, the government takes out taxes. Taxes pay for public
services like roads, police and firemen, schools and more. 25% is the current average tax bracket
for married couples, so use that to pay your taxes.
Multiply the amount in box #2 by 25% and write that amount in box #3 below
Amount of taxes paid:
4. Subtract amount in box #3 from the amount in box #2 and that will give you your
ANNUAL NET INCOME (This is the amount of money that you have to spend for the year!)
Write your Annual Net Income in box #4
5. Now divide the amount in box #4 by 12 to give you the MONTHLY net income.
Write that amount in box # 5
6. Now subtract the amount of those household essentials the adult estimated on page
127 (copied on bottom of page 178) from box #5.
Box #6 now represents the amount you have to spend per month on
non-essentials or the extras in life!
35
As you read this page, T3 by underlining things that you think would matter to YOU.
There are literally millions of places to live on this huge planet. Hundreds of countries
and millions of cities and towns. It‟s a huge world yet many people end up living where they
grew up, where their families are, where people are culturally like they are, etc.
Some of us have never traveled or learned much about other countries or areas of our own
country. Family is often a huge factor in where people choose to live. For some, living near
family is an absolute must. They love the social and emotional support family creates. For
others, family might be something they want to have some distance from, to visit for the
holidays, but not have a regular or substantial impact on their lives.
For some where they go to college becomes where they make new friends, get used to
the environment and make occupational connections and networks. For some, the environment
and climate has powerful impact. If you like to ski, you obviously would look at living near or
in snow country. For some living in a big city, with all the noise, and people and things to do at
all hours of the night, is exciting and appealing. For some, being close to nature helps them
keep their sense of peace and calm. For some, finding places that are safe to raise kids is a
major piece of their decision. Others consider weather a critical factor. To some a variety of
things to do, or specific sports or hobbies, on time off matter most.
Where people decide to live has a bigger impact on their lives than often realized
initially. Before someone puts down roots, like makes friends in college, get their first real
job or buy a home, it‟s helpful to realize the impact. Where someone lives impacts several
critical factors like house prices, job availability and the cost of living. You can imagine if you
choose to live way up in the mountains, far from major cities, that things like groceries cost
more money. Living in major cities, on the other hand, where housing is limited, can drive up
the prices for rent and buying homes.
So you can see that this is another area of learning and thinking that you can benefit
from BEFORE you have to make decisions. Especially before you make final decisions about
where to attend college.
36
IMPORTANT: Before you pick one to buy, you must
know your monthly income so you can budget! Go to page 179 and get the
$ amount from box #5. Divide that by 2 because you are not married yet!
Put that amount here: $______________. This is your NET monthly income, which is
what you have to spend on expenses after taxes.
Now pick a house! Once you‟ve decided to add 1 to your list of final 3 choices
click on “Calculate Monthly Payment” and copy the whole asking PRICE of the house
AND the monthly to fill in chart below.
Keep in mind how much money you make per month calculated above.
House #1 TOTAL asking price = $
Monthly payment = $
Monthly payment = $
Monthly payment = $
Out of those 3, I would pick house # __________ because…
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Remember that‟s how much you have to spend on all your bills.
Write that monthly income here: ______________
Now subtract the monthly payment for house you would choose.
and write the amount that would be left over for the rest of your bills here:
$__________________ It wouldn’t be surprising if all the houses for you to choose
from were more than you could afford, which would mean a negative amount or none
left over! That’s why most people have to rent at a young age, early in their careers.
If that’s what happened, you could, if you want, look to find out if you could afford a
smaller house or how much apartment rent would be in that area, since that is what
you’d most likely do in real life, if you couldn’t afford to buy a house.
37
38
While marriages tend to be the centerpiece of someone‟s life relationships, they obviously are not the only ones that matter. Every relationship
whether chosen, like friends or co-workers, or inherited like parents, siblings
and children. The best way to think about it, is which people are in my life because of a choice I made and which are there because of choices other
people made. Either way, relationships that are worth keeping are worth working on improving.
You‟re certainly old enough to realize that communication is the key to successful
relationships. ALL successful relationships! What does that really mean though? Some people
think that good communication just happens. Some people are better communicators than others. Communication is essential between critical relationships to help things, like families run or
businesses, to run smoothly and efficiently. It „s about being understood which is important to
everyone. It is a skills that can and should be worked on to improve.
Think of the last time poor communication caused you to be in a disagreement. Maybe
someone told someone something untrue? Maybe someone didn‟t really understand someone
else and got their feelings hurt? Maybe someone didn't listen well enough so did something they
weren‟t supposed to? There are millions of scenarios that cause disagreements.
Briefly describe one you remember being part of. Then explain what you feel started it,
how it flared up into a „fight‟ and how it was resolved.
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
One of life‟s greatest ongoing challenges is keeping relationships healthy. That doesn't
mean trying to make sure there are never any disagreements or frustrations. That would be impossible, because people cannot read each other‟s minds or feelings! Good communication skills
that can make life at home and work more pleasant can actually be learned and practiced, just like
any other skill. As children, we begin communicating the way we see and hear our parents. As we
mature, we begin realizing that there are many ways to communicate and some are helpful and
some cause more problems for us. Like yelling! In some families that is the norm for expressing
anger. Some find other ways of doing that. Communication requires much more than just being
able to talk or listen. Even those two skills are not as easy as they seem. Listening for example,
takes more than just being quiet. Listening takes thinking strategies that can help tremendously
to be aware of and begin practicing now with family and friends. Talking effectively to be understood is another that takes some developing to improve.
39
Major causes of
challenges in marriages...
When people get married they PROMISE to love each other „until death do you
part‟. It‟s probably safe to say that most who get married expect to stay married. Partners for life, that is the commitment, yet over ½ break those promises through divorce.
Following is a list of the top 10 reasons stated as causes for those divorces.
While no one is suggesting that you are in any way ready to seriously consider marriage, taking a look at the most common problems marriages face can only help you begin to
see what‟s ahead. It will allow you to become more aware and hopefully work to avoid some
if not all of these in your future.
Love often just isn't enough to keep a couple together for a lifetime through all the
challenges faced. Even in good times and wonderful circumstances, keeping a marriage alive
and well takes focus and work. Couples considering marriage, usually spend more time
thinking about being in love, than they do the realities of marriage. Experts tell people not
to get married without knowing your future spouse's thoughts on some of the most common issues that can destroy a marriage. They suggest people do not get married without
knowing how they both feel about the critical issues explained below.
As you read, your T3 markings should be to underline things that YOU have
seen pose challenges in marriages/relationships. They can be in real life, yours or
others, or from movies, television or books. When you finish each number or issue,
turn to page 207 & 208 and write your own answers and thoughts.
Children
Do you want to have children? If you and your future spouse cannot agree on
whether to have children or not, or how many, just imagine what kind of challenges you‟ll face. Thinking that you can deal with this issue later in your marriage is a major mistake. Having children in a marriage adds incredible stresses, as well as vast amounts
of benefits. Both people should be certain they are ready and willing to face the expenses
and challenges parenting adds to life. Children are an expensive commitment and the finances are not something to take lightly. Another major challenge is HOW to raise the
children you may decide to have.
40
Communicating well is often to keep misunderstandings and fights
from occurring. In reality it is not possible to have two people always
agree and get along perfectly. The following is a list of suggestions for
„fighting fair‟. It doesn‟t keep fights from happening but it can be what keeps relationships from
being destroyed or damaged when emotions get the best of us and communication breaks down.
You may not need to use these at work, where fighting openly isn‟t common, however, you can
definitely use some of these TIPS to help you improve communication skills, which can then help
diffuse stressful situations at work someday as well.
As you read through the list, T3 marking should be to underline things that really seem
like areas you can start working on now to ensure you are better equipped the next time a disagreement develops in your life.
1. Deal with the Here and Now. What is the specific problem right now? Try to not bring up the
past as an argument for the current situation. Keep focused on the issue at hand!
2. Take responsibility. Use “I” statements as a way to show you are taking responsibility for your
own feelings and actions. This can help keep the other person from feeling attacked. Things like,
“I felt ______when you said_________.”
3. Be direct and honest about your feelings and what you want. Be sure to think first so you can be
certain what it is that‟s bothering you and what you‟d like to happen when the argument is over.
4. Listen and hear! Try to deal with the other person‟s perceptions of the situation as well as your
own. Be aware of his/her feelings as well as your own. Check to see whether what you heard is
really what the other person is trying to express, and ask him to let you know what she hears you
saying. Some people even make statements like, “I heard you say….Is that how you feel?” Take
some time between when you are done listening and begin responding to THINK!
5. Give the other person equal time. Both people need to express their feelings and points of view
to create a sense of mutual understanding. That doesn‟t mean that you will necessarily agree but
both need to feel they are getting to get their ideas and feelings out in the open.
6. Attack the issue, not the person. Name-calling puts people in a position to respond angrily and
defensively. This is most often used when a person feels he is losing. Name-calling breaks down
communication and destroys trust in the relationship. Remind yourself that this person MATTERS
to you or you wouldn‟t bother arguing. You‟d just walk away.
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While we are all unique people with our own personalities and life
experiences and circumstances, we‟re also all just human beings. It helps to be
reminded that even though we‟re unique, we‟re also very much alike others in
some very basic ways. That makes it easier to predict how things will happen
or change as you move your way along in life.
Knowing what is „normal‟ can be reassuring for everyone involved, which
is why so many people read books about babies for example before they have
one. To know what to expect. There are similar patterns of experience through
out life, that do not take away from our individuality but can help us understand where we‟re headed and why we behave certain ways.
Your life has already given you exposure in real life and things like books, t.v. and
movies, to some of very basic life developmental stages that human being go through. You
don‟t have to study long to realize there are patterns in the way people develop and mature.
In some ways we are all very unique and in some ways we are all very similar!
List 3 things that you‟ve seen that cause challenges raising a child birth-2?
1.
2.
3.
List 3 things that you‟ve seen cause challenges raising child ages 2-4?
1.
2.
3.
List 3 things you‟ve seen cause challenges while raising that child between ages 5-12?
1.
2.
3.
Brainstorm a list of 5 pieces of advice you would give parents raising TEENAGERS:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
42
Each and every person has within them the seed or potential to be
happy. No matter how difficult your life is or isn’t, happiness isn’t something that’s easy to explain. Some might say, they’re only happy when
they’re doing certain things or with certain people. Everyone’s definition is a bit different but happiness is something everyone wants to have in life. Some people feel
happiness comes from money, recognition, or other things, but many relate that
those things only bring temporary feelings of happiness. Some look to their family
and friends. Unfortunately, many people never reach the level of happiness they
desire. Perhaps it doesn’t exist? Or perhaps they missed it while searching somewhere else for more?
Here are some things to keep in mind around the idea of finding and
keeping a perspective of happiness. As you read this list of suggestions, T3 by underlining
things that seem like good advice.
1. Realize first that your happiness is your responsibility. Don’t blame outside
conditions or other people if you’re not happy. While things around you could change
and go badly, it is you who decide how you’ll respond to them. You can decide to be
happy.
2. Stop comparing yourself with others! Comparing yourself with others won’t
do you much good. You’ll either feel proud when you are above, or feel jealous and
frustrated when you’re below. None of them brings true happiness. Focus on being
YOUR best, and whatever shape that takes, will give you deeper sense of who you
ARE!
3. Count your blessings and be grateful for all things wonderful in your life. We often focus on the negative and not so wonderful things. If you work daily to realize
how blessed you are, you’ll certainly live in the mindset of happiness much more than
unhappiness. We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting
something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do
have.
4. Find your inner voice To find true happiness, you must first find your inner
voice. Listen to your heart that speaks to you in quiet times. Slow down and take
some time for soul searching. People who are constantly with others or having ‘FUN’
often miss chances of listening to the deep part of us that does know what will make
our lives most meaningful. Feeling that you and your life have meaning brings a
deeper sense of happiness. What is true happiness for you? By knowing what your
heart says, it will be easier for you to align with it.
5. Know yourself. You’ll be happier if you understand who you are and who you are
not. Taking personality tests or making lists of accomplishments can help you recognize who you are. As you and your life change it takes time to readjust your understanding of who you are. So take time to get reacquainted with YOU on regular basis.
43
1. Create your life‟s “TO DO” list…a list of 15 things
you want to do before the end of your life.
2. Write a brief statement about WHY that would matter so much to you.
3. Put a STAR next to the 5 that you feel you absolutely MUST do!
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
44
Well…that‟s about it.
You‟ve taken a journey though the MOST important elements of
the life you are building for yourself.
You have more information about life in your bucket now than you
did before.
You have more reading, learning, and thinking skills than you did
when you started.
The choices are up to you! It‟s YOUR life!
Do a review back through each section of Get totally Real! and make notes on the
things you want to remember to help you BUILD your successful future!
Time management and priorities: (pages 41-50 )
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
Goal setting: (pages 51-53)
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
Maturing: ( pages 56-63)
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
Education, learning and your bucket: (pages 64-78 )
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
Beliefs: (pages 79-84)
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
45
You‟re about to go on a journey of thinking that can help you find
what you‟ll need to build a spectacular life for yourself.
As a teenager you probably understand that a successful adult life
doesn‟t happen easily. Life is beginning to expect more from you as
years go by and the time of being a grown-up is right around the
corner! Your childhood is fading into your future, which can go many
different directions. Thinking about your future should be exciting
to you, as well as make you a bit nervous, because 21st century life
is quite complex. Changes in things like job markets, technology,
education, and the economy create challenges you‟ll face. The adults
in your life have helped get you this far, but obviously they won‟t be
deciding, building or living your future.
This Get totally Real! project was created to give you a better
understanding of yourself and the realities of adult life so you can
begin the process of designing and constructing your life!
The decisions you‟re beginning to make already, about things
like school, can and will effect the directions you‟ll travel and the
kinds of choices you‟ll have open to you later. It takes dreaming,
solid information, thoughtful planning, smart decisions, motivation
and hard work to build a great life.
Topics include:
 Who You Are and Who You Want to Be
 Your Past and Your World Now
 Habits that Build Success
 Setting Goals and Prioritizing Time
 Dreams and Beliefs
 Dealing with Challenges & Stress
 Education and Independent Learning
www.getreallearning.com
 Employability Skills for 21st Century
 College and Career Planning
 Cost of Living and Budgets
 Building Strong Relationships
 Happiness!
Enjoy the JOURNEY of YOUR future!
46

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