VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY

Friday, 22 October 2010
Volume 63, Number 9
INSIDE
‘Book Review: The Social Network...................................................... 4
Hurt Scares Kittens; Perriello Secretly Works for China...................... 7
Dolla Dolla Bills, Y’all........................................................................ 6
PILA Auction: Making Dreams Come True......................................... 8
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
The Newspaper of the University of Virginia School of Law Since 1948
Stages of LawReg to
Be Phased Out In
Favor of SIS
Gary Lakowski ’11
News Editor
Beginning in November, the Law
School will phase out LawReg for
adding, dropping, and waitlisting
classes, replacing it with the University-wide SIS system. “The switch
to SIS is a little inconvenient, but it
is necessary to ensure that federal
regulators can confirm our students’
full-time status, and in turn release
financial-aid and student-loan money in a timely manner,” said SBA
President Chris Martin ’11.
The University switched to the
new “Student Information System”
for course enrollment in August of
2009. At that time, the Law School
wanted to retain LawReg and its lottery system for allocating courses.
In order to keep LawReg, the Law
School “had to petition the University to do so and agree to pay any
computing programming costs
and export the information to SIS,”
explained Assistant Dean for Academic Services and Registrar Cary
Bennett. It was this latter concession
that created problems.
The Law School and University
abided by this procedure for three
semesters. While the arrangement
generally went smoothly, four problems emerged. First, this combined
LawReg/SIS approach interfered
with the disbursement of financial
aid to students. Second, it interfered
with the certification of veterans’
status for the disbursement of veterans’ benefits to students with
military service. Third, it impacted
the reporting of student enrollment status to the National Student
Clearinghouse, an organization that
provides administrative services
verifying the student status of individuals for loan deferment, among
other things. Fourth, it impacted the
reporting of international student
status.
All four of these problems were
traced to one root cause: The University reports its enrollment statistics through SIS at the start of classes. Under the arrangement with the
Law School to preserve LawReg,
student data is not exported from
the Law School to SIS until the add/
drop period closed, after the University has initially exported its SIS
enrollment data. The result is that
Law Students do not appear on the
University’s enrollment rolls when
they are reported. Accordingly,
when financial aid, veterans’ benefits, loan deferment, and even visa
status are checked, law students do
not appear as enrolled in the necessary computer systems.
In order to correct this problem,
Bennett and the Student Records
Office have decided to phase in SIS
for add/drops and waitlist manage-
ment. The first phase of this process
will occur with J-Term enrollment
in November. According to Bennett,
“J-Term enrollment in SIS in November will give students an opportunity to practice in J-Term courses
when it is not that critical. Fewer
students and fewer courses is a nice
test case to make sure everything is
working properly.”
The next critical phase for the
transition to SIS will come in January. Add/drop for Spring 2011 will
take place in LawReg until the end
of the Fall semester. Bennett explained, “the reason to do add/drop
here this semester is we can’t get SIS
ready in time” to handle the influx
of Law School users. Traditionally,
the add/drop features have closed
at the end of the Fall semester and
reopened in the Spring. When they
reopen for Spring 2011, add/drop
and waitlist functions will be in
SIS. “Having a test run in November will bode well in January . . . we
hope,” noted Bennett.
The final phase in the Law
School’s transition to SIS will occur
during the summer. “In the future
[Fall 2011], all add/drop and waitlisting will be in SIS.” Students will
continue to select classes via the
LawReg lottery system; however, at
that point, all subsequent functions
will transfer to SIS.
“I appreciate Dean Bennett’s flexibility on making the adjustment.
The Student Records Office is gradually phasing in SIS and conducting
the most important lottery rounds
through LawReg, which is familiar
to us -- all at the request of Dean Bennett,” said Martin. According to the
Student Records Office, the switch
to SIS will offer a number of advantages for students. “In the end, it
might actually be better. SIS is open
more hours per day than we are; it
has basically the same functions as
LawReg; [it] has waitlist [and] conditional add/drop; [students] don’t
have to confirm waitlists every day;
[and] the system will probably be
more dependable [because] if it
breaks, it’s the University’s problem, and they have more resources
and staff to address computer issues
than the Law School.”
The Student Records Office
is working on ways to ease the
changes. “Stay tuned,” said Bennett.
“Transitions are always difficult. It’s
a new system and people aren’t familiar. There are going to be online
tutorials we can share with students.” The Student Records Office
will also be working with the SBA
to inform students of the changes
and how to use SIS. According to
Martin, Bennett “has also offered to
host tutorials and Q&A sessions on
SIS to make the transition as smooth
as possible.”
around north
grounds
Thumbs
down
to the 3L “bonfire.”
ANG has accidentally
created more impressive infernos in ANG’s toaster
oven.
Thumbs down to
the Pepsi advertisements on the tables
in Scott Commons.
Similarly, thumbs down to Prof.
Harmon’s product-placement
deal with Nike.
photo by April Reeves ’12
Free Food Free-For-All
In addition to the afternoon keg on Thursday, the SBA hosted the Annual
Fall Picnic in Spies Garden. Students enjoyed free food and drinks on the
fabulous autumn afternoon.
SBA Changes Group
Recognition Procedure
Gary Lakowski ’11
News Editor
As instituted this week, Student Organizations seeking
recognition from the SBA will
need to meet a new revised set
of criteria.
At Monday’s SBA meeting,
the SBA voted to amend its bylaws, adding a new section addressing student-organization
recognition and renewal. In order to receive recognition from
the SBA, student organizations
must give an in-person presentation, which includes a list of
25 students interested in seeing
the group come into existence,
a list of proposed board members, an organizational constitution, and a new student-organization recognition form, plans
to accomplish their mission,
the organization’s anticipated
needs, external affiliations, and
proposed events. A proposal to
require organizations to explain
how they are distinct from preexisting organizations was not
included in the initial changes,
but it is likely to be adopted at
the next SBA meeting.
The primary effect of the
SBA’s actions is to standardize
student-organization recognition and renewal procedures.
According to Laura Venker ’12,
“The previous procedure was
for students to complete a recognition form, obtain 25 signatures, and make a presentation
to SBA. The criteria for recognition were not well-defined and
led to confusion and uncertainty among student groups seeking recognition as to what criteria the SBA would consider.
Our primary effort in stating
these criteria explicitly in the
bylaws was to address this issue.”
Venker’s description was
echoed by SBA President Chris
Martin ’11, who stated, “Our
primary goals with the amendments were to increase communication between organizational leaders and the SBA, preserve
institutional memory within
student groups and ensure that
they stay active, and clarify
qualification requirements for
students interested in starting
new organizations.”
While the SBA is still tweaking some of its procedures,
such as the precise wording of
the new student-organization
recognition form, the changes
adopted on Oct. 18 took effect
immediately. At this time, all
student organizations seeking
recognition from the SBA will
have to go through the newly
codified procedures.
Thumbs up to Prof.
Cannon hosting the
Environmental Law
Forum at his house for
a barbecue, but, although ANG
realizes burning charcoal releases greenhouse gases, ANG is still
skeptical that utilizing “natural
solar energy” by letting the meat
sit outside for nine hours will adequately cook it.
Thumbs up to the
Human Rights Study
Project Bar Night.
ANG passed out in
the dumpster behind Take It
Away, thus securing the release
of 38 Congolese political prisoners.
Thumbs down to
the SBA’s new recognition criteria for
student organizations,
further dimming ANG’s hopes
of finally getting the Virginia Society for Time-Travel Law (VSTTL) off the ground.
Thumbs up to
former Sen. George
Allen’s talk, “What
Washington
Can
Learn from the World of Sports,”
though it was kind of weird how
he spent the whole speech arguing that blacks aren’t good at
hockey.
Thumbs up to Libeloke. For some
reason, West Main
seemed to empty out
last year during ANG’s screeching, falsetto rendition of Amy
Grant’s “Baby Baby.” In other,
purely coincidental news, West
Main will not be hosting Libeloke this year.
Speaking of the
SBA, thumbs down
to sweater vests. ANG
does not have problem with sweater vests as an —
occasional — wardrobe accessory.
Given recent changes in parking,
LawReg, and the student-recognition process, ANG does have a
problem with sweater vests as
the perpetual primary talking
point of our student government.
2
Features & Faculty Forum
R. Peyton Whiteley
Housing Law Clinic
Law school: Virginia, ‘74
1. The most meaningful part
of working in civil legal services is:
Getting paid for doing this. A
close second would be the great
variety of issues and challenges
presented by the clients who
seek our help. Third, being part
of a public interest organization where we regularly receive
requests for help from ministers, social workers, judges, and
members of the Bar. Keeping
someone housed, restoring electricity service, helping someone
escape domestic violence, getting a job back for a client unfairly terminated, etc. all offer great
satisfaction and the successes
and failures each week provide
regular feedback on what I do
well or badly. Every day is very
different. This never gets tiring -even when I do.
2. One thing you wish you’d
known about public interest
practice when you were in law
school is:
I had no idea how much time
I would spend teaching. Aside
from teaching attorneys in Bar
CLEs, workshops at conferences,
training non-attorneys, super-
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
professor roulette
vising staff and volunteers and,
lately, instructing law students, a
lot of my time is spent teaching
clients how to handle matters.
About a year after graduating
from the Law School, I was put
in charge of a staff of nearly 20
attorneys -- the blind leading the
blind. Attorneys are often asked
to teach or supervise and mentor others because of perceived
or assumed knowledge of some
subject matter. Of course, the
skill set to effectively teach is
completely different from what
others think you know or should
know. I would have liked to take
an education course or three,
to actually learn how to do this
professionally rather than go
through decades of trial and error -- with an emphasis on the
latter.
relief from failing to read or understand notices, from talking on
the telephone instead of writing
a letter, from leaving home too
late to get to court on time, from
speaking in court when they had
no clue what to say, etc., that
would help solve a huge number
of civil-law problems.
3. If you could pass one law to
help your clients, it would be:
To enact a legal remedy for
laypersons similar to the statute
which exists in New York to obtain relief from “law office failure.” The New York provision
makes it possible to obtain relief
from missing deadlines, etc.,
with minimal embarrassment or
exposure to malpractice suits,
not that I had personal need for
this when I practiced there. If our
clients could sometimes obtain
5. A TV judge or attorney you
love to watch, even if you hate
to admit it, is:
Virginia
Law Weekly
COLOPHON
COLOPHON
Chris Mincher
Editor-in-Chief
Jordan Fox
Executive Editor
Benjamin Grosz
Managing Editor
Veronika Bath
Production Editor
Gary Lawkowski
News Editor
Dan Gocek
Entertainment Editor
Lauren Kapsky
Columns Editor
Evan Mix
Features Editor
April Reeves
Photography Editor
Kristin Russell
Business Manager
Aimee Fausser
Copy Chief
Cory Stott
Faculty Forum Editor
Evan Didier
Chief Technology Officer
Shaun Bockert
Web Editor
Kinal Patel
Associate News Editor
Lee Gilley
Associate Columns Editor
Joe Budd
Associate Production Editor
Contributors: Columnists: Copyeditor: Chris Wimbush
Associate Features Editor
Patrick Bernhardt, Michael Moskowitz, Ben Martin
Peter Hilton, Kate Barry, Kevan Hayat
Jack Herman
Published weekly on Friday except during holiday and examination periods and serving the
Law School community at the University of Virginia, the Virginia Law Weekly (ISSN 0042-661X) is not
an official publication of the University and does not necessarily express the views of the University.
Any article appearing herein may be reproduced provided that credit is given to both the Virginia Law
Weekly and the author of the article. Advanced written permission of the Virginia Law Weekly is also
required for reproduction of any cartoon or illustration.
Virginia Law Weekly
580 Massie Road
University of Virginia School of Law
Charlottesville, Virginia 22903-1789
Phone: 434.924.3070
Fax: 434.924.7536
[email protected]
www.lawweekly.org
EDITORIAL POLICY: The Virginia Law Weekly publishes letters and columns of interest to the Law
School and the legal community at large. Views expressed in such submissions are those of the author(s)
and not necessarily those of the Law Weekly or the Editorial Board. Letters from organizations must bear
the name, signature, and title of the person authorizing the submission. All letters and columns must
either be submitted in hardcopy bearing a handwritten signature along with an electronic version, or
be mailed from the author’s e-mail account. Submissions must be received by 5 p.m. the Monday before
publication and must be in accordance with the submission guidelines. Letters over 500 words and columns over 700 words may not be accepted. The Editorial Board reserves the right to edit all submissions
for length, grammar, and clarity. Although every effort is made to publish all materials meeting our
guidelines, we regret that not all submissions received can be published.
4. The coolest place to hang
out in Charlottesville when you
were at U. Va. Law was:
I haven’t a clue. Too much
time has passed to remember
with any clarity what happened
back then—my class was the last
to graduate from Clark Hall. At
least, unlike New York’s Studio
54 in the 70’s, I do recall there
was no screening at the door of
clubs to keep the un-cool people
out.
Rumpole of the Bailey. If anyone
has not read John Mortimer’s
short stories or seen the TV program -- available on DVD -- you
have a treat in store. Leo McKern,
who played Horace Rumpole,
was ideally cast for the role of a
criminal-defense attorney practicing in London’s Old Bailey.
The stories are flat-out entertaining as social commentary and
mysteries. You might not believe
how much fun practicing law can
be until you see the law through
Horace’s eyes. Mortimer wrote
many plays and it is really interesting to see how someone who
is great in writing dialogue can
put together narrative stories.
You can learn a lot about the
craft of writing by watching the
shows and then reading the stories. It is interesting as a litigator
to see how barristers in Britain
get clients and deal with having
opposing counsel working in the
same offices.
precedential papers
October 27, 1972
Interpretation is the lifeblood of the law. As U.Va.
Law students we each have
an intuitive understanding of
the definition of such terms as
“intoxicating liquor,” “mixed
liquors,” and “gambling.”
But what happens when we
litigate about them? “Noxious
thing[s],” that’s what.
Friday, 22 October 2010
faculty
quotes
Student: If I know I’m going to die in 10 years, there
will be a lot of things I’m not
going to do.
M. Riley: Well, you’re not
going to go be an associate.
K. Kordana: Make your
fake fiancee a medical-school
student. It works like a charm.
W. Gaines: If your siblings
won’t sleep with you, why
should we?
C. Craver: When is a lie not
a lie? When it’s by a lawyer.
M. Gilbert: Commas make
a difference. You either have
a gangster panda or one just
eating in the zoo.
G. White (on grounding
teenagers): You ask them to
place all electronic items at
the bottom of the stairs and
go to their room to consider
why they’re such an impossible being.
J. Harrison: Here’s something you may find difficult
to believe after three years of
law school, and after 30 years
of law I find impossible to believe: Many people enjoy life.
F. Schauer: Back when I
was in law school, I spent a
year watching ‘Days of Our
Lives.’ . . . Then I became more
sophisticated some years later
and settled into a $2-a-day
Ms. Pacman habit.
F. Schauer: If you looked
carefully at the majority’s
opinion, you would have noticed a number of citations in
Latin. That must make them
right.
J. Cannon: This is a part
of the class that many people
find boring, but I’m not sure I
can help you with that.
J. Jeffries: You can’t exit
the government. Well, you
can, but it’s awfully hard.
You have to move to Canada.
J. Dienalt: If [any of you
were wearing caps] you might
see the “NY” of the Yankees,
the “B” of the Red Sox, the
“C” of the Cubs or the curly
“W” of that minor league
team in Washington.
G. Rutherglen: Try to take
yourself back to the 70s: the
era of double knit, the leisure
suit, the Bee Gees, and other
sins against American culture.
F. Schauer: This is something professors are familiar with: law students never
admit to anything. No law
student ever admits to ever
having learned anything in
any previous course. Or even
having attended any previous
course.
Correction
The photographer credit for
“Stand And Deliver” in the Oct.
15 issue of Law Weekly was misattributed. The photographer was
Dan Lemke ‘13.
Friday, 22 October 2010
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
Advertisement
3
4
Entertainment
outside north
grounds
Oct. 22-23, 26-30
– U.Va. Drama performs By the Bog of
Cats as part of the Recent Works Series in the Helms
Theatre, 8 p.m., $5 for U.Va. students. Loosely based on Euripides’
Medea, this is supposedly one of
playwright Marina Carr’s more
accessible works. Given that the
play revolves around an Irish gypsy who seduces a younger farmer
and the daughter of a local land
baron for whom the farmer leaves
the gypsy, ONG is sincerely curious to read the plot of one of Carr’s
“less accessible” plays.
Oct. 22 – Virginia
Eagle, Hop and Wine,
and Specialty Beverage
present a screening of
Beer Wars at the Paramount Theater, 7 p.m., $10. Price of admission includes tastings from Starr
Hill Beer, Devil’s Backbone, Blue
Mountain Brewery, Stone Brewery, and Dogfish.
Oct. 24 – 311 performs at the Charlottesville Pavilion, doors
at 6 p.m., show at 7
p.m., $35. In middle school, ONG
was told that 311 stood for three
of the 11th letter of the alphabet
(KKK). It turns out 311 is the police code for indecent exposure in
Omaha, Neb. BORING.
Oct. 24 – The Virginia Dance Company
presents iDance in Old
Cabell Hall, 8 p.m.,
ONG thinks Steve Jobs is kind of
douchey, and although the “i” in
iDance may just be using Apple’s
naming mechanism to refer to
technology generally, ONG just
can’t risk it.
Oct. 24 – OFFscreen
presents
screenings of Trash Humpers
in
Newcomb
Hall Theater, 7 and 9:30 p.m.,
$3. This mock-umentary follows
a group of insane geriatrics as
they cause mayhem and exhibit
their bizarre sexual affinities for
trashcans. The director’s previous
work includes a movie entitled
Julien Donkey-Boy. ONG doesn’t
even know where to go with this.
Oct. 26 – Jenny and
Johnny (Jenny Lewis
and boyfriend Johnathan Rice) perform at the Jefferson Theater, doors at 7 p.m., $16
in advance, $18 at the door. One
of ONG’s (many) ex-lovers used
to be a big Rilo Kiley fan. ONG
doesn’t want to say the break-up
was all Jenny Lewis’ fault, but
let’s just say it wasn’t not all Jenny
Lewis’ fault.
Oct. 28 – Literacy
Volunteers of Charlottesville/Albemarle
present “Masquerade 2010” at the
Jefferson Theater. The event will
feature swing-dancing and Halloween-themed entertainment beginning at 7:30 p.m. The late-night
dance party begins at 10:30 p.m.
$50 premium tickets will get you
into both, or you can pay $15 for
just the dance party. ONG’s distaste for literacy is strong, but not
stronger than ONG’s love of zombie face-painting. Count ONG in.
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
Friday, 22 October 2010
Watching Movies > Preparing for Finals
Patrick Bernhardt ’13
Contributor
The 23rd annual Virginia Film
Festival kicks off in Charlottesville
Thursday, Nov. 4. The event will
bring four days of all-day movie
viewing to local theatres such as
the Culbreth, the Paramount, the
Downtown Mall, and Newcomb
Hall. In addition to an impressive
lineup of films, the festival also
brings producers and directors into
the viewing experience to speak
about their creations. Many of the
films won’t hit wider audiences
until later this year, so you’ll have a
rare glimpse at the films before the
buzz begins.
And in case you need motivation, U.Va. students get one free
ticket to any film. For popular
showings, you should reserve your
ticket early (online at virginiafilmfestival.org or at the U.Va. Arts Box
Office, weekdays between noon
and 5 p.m.).
Here are some of the highlights:
Casino Jack
Any law student aspiring to
D.C. firm life might want to check
out Casino Jack, a film based on the
exploits of Jack Abramoff and starring Kevin Spacey. The film covers
the rise and fall of the so-called “superlobbyist” who splashed into the
public scene as a result of major political scandal. This film promises to
be scathing, and would serve well
as a supplement to our required
course in professional responsibility. The film will not be released
in theatres until December, so catch
your sneak-peak at the festival.
4 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 7, at the Culbreth. $7.
Breaking Bad
Addicted to Breaking Bad? Creator
and executive Producer Vince Gilligan and Executive Produce Mark
Johnson will provide live commentary during an episode of Breaking
Bad, the hit series about a struggling
high school chemistry teacher who,
after being diagnosed with cancer,
employs his skills to produce crystal
meth. If you’re new to the show or
need to catch up on episodes, you
can rent the first and second seasons
at the Law Library.
11 a.m. Sunday, Nov. 7, at the Culbreth. Free.
Black Swan
One of the most anticipated films
of the year, this psychological drama
stars Natalie Portman and is directed
by Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for a
Dream, The Wrestler, Pi). The film is
centered on a renowned New York
ballet company and its obsessed
world of perfection and passion.
Natalie Portman plays Nina, a dedicated ballerina who is promoted to
the lead role in the ballet’s performance of Swan Lake. When a new
dancer arrives to play her counterpart in the performance, Nina’s
fragile life begins to fall apart as she
confronts dark thoughts and new
experiences. While on the one hand
offering “some of the most magnificent ballet sequences ever created
for cinema,” as Andrew O’Hehir of
Salon described it, the film also of-
photo courtesy of muzikistah.com
The screening of Black Swan prior to
its release may be the highlight of
the festival.
fers a “tale of madness, music, and
sexual repression” that will certainly entertain.
7 p.m. Friday, Nov. 5, at the Culbreth. $10.
The Parking Lot Movie
A local favorite that has been
featured nationally in outlets such
as NPR and the New York Times,
this documentary chronicles the
lives of parking-lot attendants at
the legendary Corner Parking Lot.
At the South By Southwest film
festival, it was characterized as “an
intimate portrait of the transient
denizens of a humble parking-lot
booth, and a damning expose of a
generation in crisis. The deftness of
touch displayed by Eckman and her
team shines a much-needed light
on an overlooked amenity. It’s also
pretty damn funny, and populated
with smart characters that veer from
acerbic to goofy without breaking a
sweat.” The screening will feature
a discussion with director Meghan
Eckman.
9:30 p.m. Friday, Nov. 5, at Vinegar Hill. $7.
Adrenaline Film Project
You thought law school was intense? Try 72 hours of nonstop movie production, start to finish. The
project is hosted by the U.Va. Digital Media Lab and directed toward
those interested in the raw process
of movie production. In its seventh
year running, the screening will feature short films from each of the 10
teams, with awards to be handed
out afterward.
10:00 Saturday, Nov. 6, at the Culbreth. $7.
Though certainly not an exhaustive list of what’s playing, other films
include: The Winemaker’s Year, documenting the Virginia wine industry
and featuring a wine reception with
special guests; The Apartment, a rerun of the classic romantic comedy;
Freedom Riders, chronicling the actions of civil-rights activists fighting
for desegregation in the Deep South
and featuring a discussion with acclaimed documentarian Stanley
Nelson; and Disney’s Beauty and the
Beast, a classic for those with families.
Learn more at virginiafilmfestival.
org.
We’re All Zucked: The Social Network
Jordan Fox ’11
Executive Editor
“You don’t think I deserve your
attention?” a cool, collected lawyer
asks Mark Zuckerberg during an
imagined deposition at the center of
David Fincher’s Ritalin-charged bildungsrosman, The Social Network.
“You have part of my attention you have the minimum amount,”
Zuck responds. Being sued by his
former employers and classmates,
Zuckerberg stands accused of stealing intellectual property rights, and,
well, of just being a prick generally.
“The rest of my attention,” he explains to the lawyer, “is back at the
offices of Facebook, where my colleagues and I are doing things that
no one in this room, including and
especially your clients, are intellectually or creatively capable of doing.”
The lawyer—and the audience—
is left speechless. It’s pure Aaron
Sorkin.
The Social Network, mostly thanks
to Sorkin’s script, is, in ways both
strange and obvious, one of the best
films of the year—and also one of
the most rigorous and absorbing legal movies to come out this decade.
It’s a film that relishes the intellectual
energy of its characters, the weight
of the ideas involved, the absurdity
of the details, and the consequences
of the subject matter. And it’s all so
darn sexy.
So much has already been said
about The Social Network in the endless four-star reviews that have
cropped up in the country’s newspapers and blog-posts since the
film’s release at the beginning of this
month. The acting especially has received attention, thanks in part to the
excitement inspired in critics and audiences from seeing America’s next
big stars: Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew
Garfield (the next Spiderman), and
Rooney Mara (the next Girl with the
Dragon Tattoo).
And, oh yea, there’s Justin Timberlake with a fistful of coke.
But Sorkin really is the superstar
here. Sorkin is a writer who loves the
law. He relishes in the trial, the deposition, the congressional session.
His characters move through high
echelons of marine generals, businessmen, media moguls, and presidents. And there are always, always
lawyers.
In previous films, Sorkin explored
such heady concepts as the conflict
between military function and civilian oversight (A Few Good Men), the
balance politicians must strike between public and private selves (The
American President), and the ways in
which one nation may use and forget another (Charlie Wilson’s War).
Here, though, rather than dwell on
high-minded ideals and national
policy debates, Sorkin delves into
something more esoteric, dense,
and nerdy. Yet that doesn’t distract
from his ultimate thesis: that things
should be fair, people decent, and
endings happy.
The litigation here gives Sorkin a
way to press these axioms while at
the same time exposing his characters’ goals and breaking points. By
turning the screws of litigation down
on Zuck and his erstwhile business
partners, Sorkin brings to bear their
most serious flaws, and their most
stout resilience. Say what you want
about Zuck, but at no point does he
betray an inconsistency that would
suggest he’s been compromised. It
may just be stubborn pig-headishness, but the movie wants you to
take a more subtle view.
In fact, it is never obvious to us
that Zuck has really done anything
much worse than be rude to his colleagues. As Lawrence Lussig, a professor of intellectual-property law at
Harvard wrote in The New Republic,
“Did he steal a trade secret? Absolutely not. Did he steal any other
‘property?’ Absolutely not—the
code for Facebook was his, and the
‘idea’ of a social network is not a
patent.” Lessig, who has made a
career of arguing for a liberalization of intellectual-property rights,
concludes that the $65 million settlement Zuck ultimately pays to the
Winklevoss twins wasn’t any sort
of justice, but rather “a tax on innovation and creativity.”
“The Tax is the real villain here,”
Prof. Lussig concludes, “not the innovator it burdened. “
Which is to say: There are two
sides to every story. Indeed, Sorkin
is less interested in the actual answer to these legal questions, and
more interested in the insurgency
those answers try to fathom. When
Zuckerberg confronts his enemies
through their very civilized lawyers, he appears insistent, childish,
and petty, but that doesn’t mean he
is exclusively to blame for the hav-
oc his actions wreak. Back-flashes,
tightly constructed by Fincher and
pulsing with a minimalist score
written by Nine Inch Nails’ Trent
Reznor, fill in the details. Through
it all, we see that TheFaceBook (as
it was once called) is not only the
Internet time-suck we all know it
is, but is also the result of a process
that, in all likelihood, started long
before Zuckerburg was dazzled by
the bike-room of Harvard’s most
haute social club.
And what that process has left
us with, the film suggests, is something that is not only hollow and
lonely, but something that is weird,
sharp, and stolen. Sorkin, it seems,
no longer thinks the truth cannot
be handled—it’s impossible to pin
down, lost in the ether of faces and
status-updates, waiting to be refreshed.
Check out the briefs filed in the litigation that inspired The Social Network: 2006 WL 6627814; 2008 WL
8099168; 2007 WL 1230524
Friday, 22 October 2010
Columns
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
5
The City, She Loves Me: The City of C’Ville
Tragedy struck in the middle
of sixth grade, like a half-cooked
pancake ineptly flipped by your
Peter Hilton ’13
Columnist
roommate and
landing gooeyside down on
your left cheek.
My routine in those days was set:
Blaze through homework to be
done by 5 p.m. so I could watch
Bill Nye, then Where in the World
Is Carmen Sandiego? and, if I delayed setting the table for long
enough, half of Wishbone before
I had to fling plates into place as
Dad walked in the door.
The day my routine broke, so
did my heart. Were my heart
glass, it might have shattered;
stone, it might have cracked;
wood, it would have split; cloth,
it would have rent in agonizing twain. The fifth rerun of Bill
Nye’s episode on volcanoes concluded that day, but rather than
Rockapella kicking into gear
with a bunch of perky kids ready
to answer Carmen Sandiego’s
geography trivia, something
new, retooled, and altogether too
flashy swiped across the screen:
Where in Time Is Carmen Sandiego?
What in the blue blazes did
I care about where in time she
was? She was always at the same
time: 5:30 p.m., Monday through
Friday, on PBS! But heartbreak
is a slow process, and the bleed-
ing hearts are among the world’s
greatest optimists. Crushed one
day but still hopeful the next, I
tuned in again.
There was no change. Carmen Sandiego had given up her
worldly wanderings for planes
too lofty for my understanding. It
was worse than having your first
lover leave you for your chubby
sidekick (which I’d already had
to deal with back in kindergarten; she came back, and after only
a week, too). It was more than a
broken heart; it was like my soul
had been sucked into the mysterious, fog-machine-produced
aether that filled the set of this
new and strange time-traveling
TV show. Like its place had been
taken by a cold, stale piece of
pizza found at the back of the
fridge on the day you run out of
bran flakes. Twice stabbed in as
many attempts at breakfast.
I kid you not how traumatized
I was. I had no recourse, no TV
Guide. I sat on the floor with my
back against the couch and let
my world and my atlas slump
into my lap. Listless pages shut
themselves between the covers,
turning away. No reason any
more to live.
Each day, I found Carmen
Sandiego. I beat the kids on TV.
I knew the world! But if she was
hiding in the same year that the
printing press was invented, or
that Columbus discovered his
ego, or that Hammurabi codified $45,000/year tuition—how
was I to know any of that? No
photo courtesy of ioffer.com
Bill Nye the Science Guy: official unofficial Charlottesville mascot.
way was I pulling out the whole
encyclopedia every evening. I’d
miss Bill Nye just in moving all
the stupid books to the couch!
So began dark, dark days, broken only by the occasional visit
to the Disney Channel for Goof
Troop or DuckTales. Life was
indeed like a hurricane for me
there in Duckburg.
Needless to say, it’s been a
long, hard road to recovery,
but my recovery has come. Carmen Sandiego’s wanderlust has
become my own—or perhaps
I still seek her—as life in California, two years in Australia,
school in Utah’s peaks, backpacking through Europe, and
jaunts across the United States
amply show. But in all my cur-
rent and future travels, I’ve
never found a place quite like
Charlottesville.
Initially, I came here to experience the East Coast. The West
is, as they say, all style; here in
the East, I’m getting a taste of
real substance and I’m loving it.
But some of you are rightfully
raising your eyebrows: Central
Virginia isn’t really East. East
is Northeast, such as Boswash,
with all its berets and turtlenecks or business suits and bailouts. Virginia is South.
Fair enough. Virginia is
South. It’s Southern drawls and
barbecue or fried chicken and
hospitality and sunshine. But
now the Southerners rightly
disagree: South is Kentucky
and Tennessee; it’s Mississippi,
Louisiana, Georgia, and Alabama—the real South, where
the bottom drops out of the mere
Southern veneer and the golden,
creamy South stretches deeply
downward into the core of the
land and people. So maybe Virginia isn’t as South as all that.
But Charlottesville isn’t just
East and South; it’s a little bit
crunchy, too. It has a Western
vein that runs through the city,
like the April marathon, leaving
recyclable paper cups and PowerAde and granola and flowers
in its wake. It’s outdoorsy in the
way that to me, until now, only
the West has been. You can get
Odwalla smoothies at Kroger
(even though you can’t get them
at the airport) and while there
isn’t a Jamba Juice for several
hundred miles, JPJ featured a rodeo this semester.
Charlottesville is, in short, a
geographical wormhole. It’s a
hyperspatial crossroads, where
regions of the United States get
tweaked across light-years and
overlap in a kaleidoscope of
East, South, and West that would
make even Jackson Pollock
proud. It is, in fact, the perfect
hiding place for Carmen Sandiego—you can’t find her if she is
everywhere. So with everywhere
to be and everything to do, Carmen has—or at least I have—
found an ideal home for the next
three years. Thank you, Charlottesville, for everything you are.
[email protected]
6
Columns
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
Friday, 22 October 2010
Cash Rules Everything Around Me
The Wu-Tang Clan’s 1994 single
“C.R.E.A.M.”, runs my life. You may be
thinking to yourself, “That Ben Martin,
Ben Martin ’12
Guest Columnist
what a total sellout.” Well, allow
me to explain.
As much as I am
always
chasing
paper, see the fax machine installed in
my dashboard and pager on my hip. I
do not adopt C.R.E.A.M. as a mantra
because the pursuit of monetary gain
or the desire to make it rain govern my
life. When I echo the mantra, I do so
imparting the most literal meaning to its
words, and I do so in frustration. Cash,
or legal tender, seems to hold the key
to my desires these days, my lunch experience this afternoon being a perfect
example.Although I am an excellent
chef (anyone who disagrees can ask my
mom), as of late I have not found the
time to cruise the aisles of Harris Teeter
to gather raw materials. Today, when
hunger struck, I did what I typically do
when I find myself with an empty pantry; I went knocking on my neighbors’
doors asking if I could borrow food. No,
that is not what I did at all. I hopped in
my whip, the one with the fax machine,
and began driving around aimlessly until some local eatery spoke to me. The
one that screamed most loud and proud
was Mel’s Cafe, an excellent family-run
dining establishment serving delicious
rib-sticking meals on West Main Street.
I was elated. My mouth began to salivate as I thought about the cacophony
of taste I was about to enjoy: deep-fried
pork, greens, mashed potatoes, and
sweet tea. Jackpot!
As I approached the door, I was reminded that Mel’s does not recognize
credit cards as a valid form of payment.
I made a hurried survey of the contents
of my wallet. The result: $8 and an assortment of value-member cards. I knew
that $7 was not going to cover my typical order of $8.59, and who in the hell
carries a checkbook with them these
Combat Law School Survival Guide
Author’s Note: We bring you Part 3 in
Law Weekly’s Surviving Law School series:
Some helpful tips that the staff has learned
Kevan Hayat ’11
Columnist
through the years and
things we’ve learned
as 3Ls that we wish
someone had told us in
our first year.
If you are in a
combat
situation,
find a place where you can conceal yourself from the enemy. Remember, security
takes priority. Use your senses of hearing, smell, and sight to get a feel for the
battlefield. What is the enemy doing? Advancing? Holding in place? Retreating?
You will have to consider what is developing on the battlefield when you make
your survival plan.
Size Up Your Surroundings: Determine
the pattern of the area. Get a feel for what
is going on around you. Every environment -- whether forest, jungle, or desert
-- has a rhythm or pattern. This rhythm
or pattern includes animal grunts and
bird noises and movements and insect
sounds. It may also include enemy traffic
and civilian movements.
Size Up Your Physical Condition: The
pressure of battle or the trauma of being in
a survival situation may have caused you
to overlook wounds you received. Check
your wounds and give yourself first aid.
Take care to prevent further bodily harm.
For instance, in any climate, drink plenty
of water to prevent dehydration. If you
are in a cold or wet climate, put on additional clothing to prevent hypothermia.
Size Up Your Equipment: Perhaps in the
heat of battle or because of an accident,
you lost or damaged some of your equipment. Check to see what equipment you
have and what condition it is in.
Now that you have sized up your situation, surroundings, physical condition,
and equipment, you are ready to make
your survival plan. In doing so, keep in
mind your basic physical needs — water,
food and shelter.
You may make a wrong move when
you react quickly without thinking or
planning. That move may result in your
capture or death. Don’t move just for the
sake of taking action.
Consider all aspects of your situation
(size up your situation) before you make
a decision or a move. If you act in haste,
you may lose some of your equipment.
In your haste, you may also become disoriented and forget which way to go.
Plan your moves. Be ready to move out
quickly without endangering yourself,
especially if the enemy is near you. Use
all your senses to evaluate the situation.
Note sounds and smells. Be sensitive to
temperature changes. Be observant.
Spot your location on your map and relate it to the surrounding terrain. This is a
basic principle that you must always follow. If there are other persons with you,
make sure they also know their location.
Always know who in your group, vehicle, or aircraft has a map and compass.
If that person is killed, you will have to
get the map and compass from him. Pay
close attention to where you are and to
where you are going. Do not rely on others in the group to keep track of the route.
Constantly orient yourself. Always try to
determine, as a minimum, how your location relates to:
- the location of enemy units and controlled areas.
- the location of friendly units and controlled areas.
- the location of local water sources (especially important in the desert).
- areas that will provide good cover
and concealment.
This information will allow you to
make intelligent decisions when you are
in a survival and/or evasion situation.
The greatest enemies in a combat, survival and/or evasion situation are fear
and panic. If uncontrolled, they can destroy your ability to make intelligent
decisions. They may cause you to react
to your feelings and imagination rather
than to your situation. They can drain
your energy and thereby cause other negative emotions. Previous survival training and self-confidence will enable you to
vanquish fear and panic.
In the United States, we have items
available for all our needs. Many of these
items are easily replaced when damaged.
Our easy-come, easy-go, easy-to-replace
culture makes it unnecessary for us to
improvise. This inexperience in improvisation can be an enemy in a survival
situation. Learn to improvise. Take a tool
designed for a specific purpose and see
how many other uses you can make of it.
Learn to use natural objects around you
for different needs. An example is using a
rock for a hammer. No matter how complete your survival kit, it will run or wear
out after a while. Your imagination must
take over when your kit wears out.
Last, don’t forget to have fun.
[email protected]
Author’s note: Special thanks to Discovery.com’s “Survival Tips.”
photo courtesy of meetthedealer.com
Hey, Dirty, baby, I got your money.
days? Who am I, Don Draper? Given
my gypsy nature, I began thinking of
potential barter schemes. I had a Bellair
Market card with five stamps, which
gave it a value of $5 at any participating Market location. Surely Mel, being
a savvy entrepreneur, would allow this
card to cover the remaining $1.60 cost
of my meal. I mean, even after we deduct some value for the probability that
the sandwich card would be lost and its
questionable liquidity, it still has to be
worth at least $3. But I respect Mel too
much to insult him with offers of neon
yellow sandwich cards. If only I had
brought my Pokémon deck with me.
Alas, with tears in my eyes, and three
bums watching from the bus stop, I
screamed out the mantra in frustration:
“Cash rules everything around me!” I
began to get upset. How, in this day of
plastic, can a business refuse to accept
the red and yellow Venn diagram that
is MasterCard? Then I came to a realization. It is the same force that encouraged
the Wu to release “C.R.E.A.M.,” which
encourages businessowners such as Mel
to decline credit as payment today, that
force being swagger. Mel knows that he
is serving up heaven on a plate, just as
the owners of the vending machine in
MyLab know I have an unhealthy addiction to Skittles, and they both know
that I will find a way to purchase their
product, even if it involves scouring my
car for quarters. These businesses will
not allow credit-card companies to feast
on their labor by collecting transaction
fees, nor will they provide a paper trail
of taxable revenue for Uncle Sam.
It would not surprise me to find that
many of you have shared my frustration; however, we can really only blame
ourselves. These shops are providing
a product or service which, like Mel’s
pork chops, must contain some degree
of quality, or else we would not visit the
establishment to be frustrated by their
payment policy. The market has spoken,
and it says, “We don’t care if you can’t
realize that a 3 percent transaction fee
could easily be passed on the consumer; we want those damn Skittles, and
you’ve got them.”
I commend the Charlottesville merchants taking a stand against The Man.
Day-in and day-out they experience
reduced sales and awkward counter
exchanges with customers unable to
pay their tab, but they are breaking the
chains that Big Credit has placed on society, one link at a time.
[email protected]
Friday, 22 October 2010
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
Columns
7
Kitten Torture? Etch
It On a Stamp
Congressional campaign season is in full
swing, with endless advertisements from
candidates reminding us that, no matter who
gets elected, we are totally screwed. If we
Chris Mincher
Editor-in-Chief
elect state Sen. Robert Hurt,
McDonald’s will enslave our
veterans and old people will
be murdered for sport. Eventually, jobless and without the resources to
pay for basic needs, we’ll all resort to a state
of nature, foraging for berries and taking shelter in caves. Meanwhile, if we elect Rep. Tom
Perriello, hospitals will be turned into government-funded all-expense-paid resorts for lazy
people; there will be a 39-year waiting list to
see the country’s only licensed doctor, Nancy
Pelosi; and the country will be so saddled in
debt that it will be sold at half-value in a short
sale to Comoros.
With so much confusing misinformation
out there, it’s important to ignore the propaganda and get to the candidates’ underlying
messages. As a seasoned media consultant
who has managed dozens of personal writein political campaigns — most of which failed
only for the simple misunderstanding that
“viceroy” is not a valid elected position — I
recently examined the candidates’ advertisements to uncover their actual meaning. Surprisingly, I have found that one single theme
carries across both campaigns: lack of faith in
the intelligence of the average local television
viewer.
Robert Hurt
“Generations”
In “Generations,” Hurt describes the American Dream as being when “hard work led to
opportunity.” This Dream, however, is being
destroyed, presumably because of Congress’
wildly expensive efforts to manage Capitol
Hill traffic. Over images of D.C. clouded in the
ominous shadow of night, Hurt warns of the
country’s trillions of dollars of debt, which is
somehow related to time-lapse footage of cars
driving through an intersection. If you send
him to Congress, Hurt pledges, he’ll fight tax
increases, but that isn’t enough: What Virginians need is for Hurt to ban driving in Washington altogether. Also, end nighttime.
“Rubber Stamp”
“They’re in charge, imposing their vision
of America on us,” says the narrator, referring to Perriello, Pelosi, and President
Obama. And just what
is the
Democratic
Party’s
vision of America?
“Threatening
hospitals and seniors”
and
“staggering
debt and unemployment.” As
shown in the ad, we
know that those potentially
unpopular political tenets are major
goals of Democrats because they have put
those phrases on giant rubber stamps, making it more efficient to quickly label policy
documents under either initiative. How do
we know Perriello personally has such nefarious stamps? It’s because, the ad reveals — in
a move that speaks to his repulsively inflated
ego — Perriello has etched his own likeness onto
the stamps.
“Differently”
“Differently” portrays two televisions, one
broadcasting a motionless picture of Tom Perriello, the other depicting an equally frozen image of a Chinese flag. This addresses a familiar
complaint of Virginia television viewers who
are sick and tired of such worthless programming: If there’s one thing I hate more than the
disgustingly narcissistic, local-access Perriello
Photo Show (Tuesdays, 10:30 – 11 p.m., channel 39), it’s the Chinese Flag Network. With
Hurt in Congress, he’ll end programming dedicated to the iconic imagery of foreign nations,
and restore movement to our TV screens — as
promised in the American Dream.
“Right Here Right Now”
Over the backdrop of a dripping water
faucet, the narrator blasts Perriello’s support for a national energy tax, proving Hurt
understands our financial concerns even if
he doesn’t quite understand the difference
between electricity and plumbing. Next, Perriello is slammed for supporting the healthcare plan, which, from the accompanying
imagery, apparently provides medications
by having President Obama and Pelosi hurl
fistfuls of pills from a balcony down to the ailing masses. What is Hurt going to do about all
this? Well, first, he’s going to hang out with
some children at the playground. Maybe
they’ll have some ideas.
Tom Perriello
“New Jobs”
Perriello wants everyone to know he’s been
fighting for new jobs here in Virginia. Jobs, for
example, where you stomp through piles of
cow feces, stand in a methane haze at landfills,
throw your back out crawling under desks
to install wiring, get smacked in the face by
tree branches, accidentally poor hot coffee in
your face, have tons of dirt fall on your head
at a construction site, and breathe in clouds of
concrete particles as a contractor. In his ad, to
adequately demonstrate the health hazards of
all the jobs he’s created, Perriello — after proclaiming that he’s “serious” about economic
relief — just so happens to suffer all of these
comical mishaps. (Nothing puts a smile on
the faces of bummed-out unemployed people
like a little slapstick.) The take-away message:
Send Perriello back to Congress, and he’ll put
Virginians to work. And then disable them.
“Seniors Can’t Afford a World Of Hurt”
I’d like to believe what this old woman says
about Perriello’s efforts to protect Medicare,
but I’m a frankly a little skeptical of anything
she says, because she begins the ad by talking to herself in the dark. Further, she’s clearly
deluded about what century this is, because at one point she exclaims
“poppycock!” — a word
that has not
been in common parlance for
a hundred years.
Perriello ends the
spot by saying he
was taught to “respect [his] elders,” yet
he’s leaving
this poor senile kook
rambling to herself alone with the lights
out, rather than taking her to a nursing home
where she can be looked after properly.
“Shocking”
In this ad, Perriello draws attention to legislation supported by Hurt that allowed the
electrical companies to raise their rates. This is
demonstrated by pictures of people screaming while their hair, gushing clouds of smoke,
stands on end. All well and good, until one
of the affected parties depicted is a terrified,
panicked kitten. Wide-eyed, legs splayed, and
shrieking audibly in unadulterated terror,
the kitten could not possibly be alarmed at
rising utility rates, because kittens do not pay
electrical bills. Clearly, then, the kitten is being
actually tortured. Which raises the next question: How exactly did Tom Perriello get such
an extreme close-up picture of a kitten being
tortured?
“Veterans”
Turns out, when Hurt helped raise utility
rates, he also helped raise utility rates for veterans. This might not seem shocking, given
that veterans are presumably customers of
utility companies just like anyone else, but
the purported former serviceman in this ad is
utterly indignant that he has to pay the same
rates as his neighbors. “Shame on you, Robert Hurt,” you are thinking, but my further
research has turned up even more damning
information: The utility rates were also raised
for priests and cancer patients, and would also,
outrageously, be raised for the previously
trapped Chilean miners, were any of them
to move to Virginia. Further, it turns out that
Hurt has long vigorously advocated making
veterans pay more for utilities. In fact, as a state senator,
he proposed the controversial Increased Veterans’ Electricity Bills For My Personal
Amusement Act of 2009
(known casually as “IVEBFMPA”), which would
have sadistically hiked up
veterans’ electricity bills for
no other reason than Hurt
thought it would be funny
to do so.
[email protected]
8
The Back Page
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
Friday, 22 October 2010
The Art of Couch Surfing
For the past three years I have
maintained a residence in Charlottesville. Nevertheless, I regularly
Kate Barry ‘11
Columnist
visit Northeast
and West Coast
destinations to
keep in touch with friends, family, and “the real world.” For the
frugal but well-traveled law student, taking advantage of others’
hospitality is an essential life skill
that must be perfected and honed.
As an experienced couch-surfer
with stays ranging in length from
one night to 18 months, I would
consider myself an expert in the
field and am passing along some
hard-earned tips.
There are a few key DOs and
DON’Ts that should be applied to
all situations:
DO:
Bring a bottle of wine/sixpack/Maker’s Mark upon arrival.
This makes it appear as if you are
“paying” for your couch, though,
in fact, $10 is a pittance of the $100
you would be spending at a hotel.
Carry your own headphones.
Will explain later – but this is an
absolute necessity.
One bag maximum. No matter
what size that one bag is, it is preferable to two or more bags. Two
or more indicates a longer stay
and can incite panic in your host.
The bag count is also a proxy for
the amount of space you plan to
take up during your stay, which
should be negligible. You should
never be seen entering the home
with more than one bag even if
later multiple trips may be necessary.
DO NOT:
Get involved in foreign con-
flicts (i.e. family/roommate/couple disputes).
Express any preference about
television channels.
Help yourself to anything in
the kitchen without an express
invitation.
Follow these general tips, and
you will have people begging for
you to stay with them instead of
the other way around. Now, for a
list of pros and cons on the various options you may find yourself presented with:
The Group Friend “Frat”
Home: This is an obvious first
choice. Lots of people around, activities abound, and, with so many
different roommates, it’s less likely that anyone will get sick of you
quickly. Downsides can include
inter-roommate conflicts that you
unwittingly step into, and there is
always the chance that you will
accidently intrude on an intimate
moment or two. A common element of the post-college frat home
is that walls are thin and private
space is scarce (see Tunlaw for a
local example). Headphones are a
MUST when spending more than
24 hours in one of these homes.
The Family Friends: I am a
huge fan of this option. The bigger the family, the better. Chaos
runs rampant and anything you
do is in all likelihood less annoying than what any one of the children is doing at a given moment.
You are respected as a 20-something that gets along equally well
with parents and children. Both
sides view you as an ally, and as
long as you can avoid Rule No.
1 on the DON’T list, you are set.
Downside of this option is that
eventually you will be asked
“babysit” their 15-year-old-son
for 24 hours and will spend half
of your evening chasing Catho-
lic school girls out of the house
only to find them down at the
breakfast table the next morning.
Depending on how you handle
this sort of incident, it can result
in eviction or eternal gratitude
for bringing this “issue” to their
attention. Diplomatic skills are
sharpened and fine-tuned in this
particular environment.
The Parents: Depending on
what life-stage you are in, staying with the parents can either
be as comfortable as an evening
drinking wine in a Snuggie or as
awkward as being the first person to cross the Mason-Dixon
line separating boys from girls
at a middle-school dance. Kudos
to those of you still in the Snuggie stage; for the rest of you, see
the rest of this list.
The Couple: The way you get
into this situation is: One person
in the couple is your best friend
and absolutely insists you stay
with them as a way to demonstrate you are still as important
to them as you were in college
despite their new domesticpartner status. The other person
in the relationship is obliging,
polite, and unwilling to argue
about the “best friend” card.
This ends well for no one. One
week max on the couple. No
amount of purchasing alcohol,
cooking dinner, or doing dishes
makes this scenario work for the
long-term.
That about sums it up. Until
you get to the phase of life where
budget constraints no longer require crashing with friends, pregaming, and selling last year’s
clothes on eBay, these are rules
to live by. On that note, I’ll see
you in February with a bottle of
wine and headphones in hand.
[email protected]
SBA Notebook
Donate to the PILA Auction: That’s the Situation
Michael Moskowitz ’12
PILA Auction Director
Some U.Va. Law students dream
of advocating for human rights in
South Africa. Some dream of interning for the National Trade Organization in Geneva. Others want
to work on Capitol Hill, or maybe
move back home to work for their
district attorney’s office.
Like so many eager new law
students, I entered U.Va. Law last
fall with big dreams. I wanted
to be part of the most qualified
U.Va. class ever (at least until the
next August) – success! I wanted
to have fake abs painted on me
and lift my shirt up in front of half
the faculty as part of a Jersey Shore
spoof – success again! I wanted to
witness world-class unicycling –
dreams do come true!
More than anything, however, I
wanted to work for the American
Cancer Society (ACS). Before law
school, I had worked in cancerpatient advocacy in South Florida,
and I hoped that my U.Va. legal
education would be the platform
I needed to attain a job at ACS’s
legal counsel’s office in Washington. Thanks to the Public Service
Center and some good fortune, in
January I actually received an offer
from my dream job! The problem: I
could not afford to accept it.
After two years serving in the
Law School’s Student Bar Association, I am most proud of the SBA’s
growing commitment to public
service. From 1L Public Service
Days to its work with the Law
School’s Public Service Center, the
SBA has been a leader in serving
the public good. Nothing is more
evident of SBA’s commitment than
its strong and ongoing support of
PILA.
PILA gives summer grants to
students seeking public-service
jobs, and really helps make dreams
come true. In 2010, PILA was able
to offer 85 grants to law students
working in low-paying or unpaid
public-interest internships. In
all, PILA distributed more than
$361,000 to 32 second-year and
53 first-year students in a variety
of public-service jobs around the
world (including one lucky guest
columnist at the American Cancer
Society!).
However, not everyone who
applied for a PILA grant last year
was able to receive one. There
simply was not enough money to
go around. Thus, fundraising for
PILA is critical, and there is no bigger PILA fundraiser than the social
event of the year, the PILA Auction
and Dance. The 22nd Annual PILA
Auction and Dance takes place on
Saturday, Nov. 13, at the Omni
Hotel Downtown. The theme of
the Auction is Mad PILA, based on
the TV show Mad Men. The hosts
for the evening will be Profs. Geis
and Bowers.
Based on our projections and efforts so far, the 2010 PILA Auction
has the chance to be the most suc-
cessful ever, but it will only be as
successful as we, the student body,
choose to make it. We will continue
the great tradition of first-year sections donating items to the auction.
Also, clubs, student organizations,
softball teams, and individuals will
help donate everything from Feb
Club party cleanups, to babysitting
hours, to guitar lessons, to timeshares in Colorado. Then there will
be those couple brave souls who
auction themselves off. Of course,
we could always use more donations of items and experiences of
value.
The first-year section whose donations raise the most money will
win a pizza party from PILA and
a lot of bragging rights. However,
every section, student organization, and individual who donates
an item to the auction will earn the
satisfaction that they helped make
a peer’s dream come true.
As the PILA Auction approaches, it is a great time for all of us to
remember how lucky we all are to
attend such an amazing law school
and have the opportunities this institution affords us. The PILA Auction is by law students, for law students. The fundraising will be as
large or as small as we will it to be.
So get excited, get creative, and donate something to this great cause.
If you would like to donate an
auction item to help your classmates achieve their goals, please
contact me at msm2xx@virginia.
edu. See you Nov. 13th!
Across
1. Shoreline protector
7. Flipper’s constellation?
13. Long Island ___
15. Noble head topper
16. Piquant parade
18. Congratulations, of a sort
19. Money substitute
20. Bristle
21. Direction (var.)
23. Jackman or Grant
24. Japanese icebreaker
26. Military scouting
28. Author, White Feather
31. Back talk
32. “___ Ng” (They Might Be
Giants song)
34. Italian monks
35. Sitting pols
36. Piquant parade
41. “___ di Stasio,” French
film
42. Thickness measures
43. “Fantasy Island” prop
44. Short order, for short
45. ___ Tower
47. Not just trim
51. Exec
53. “Your majesty”
55. Take orders
56. “Oh, my aching head!,” e.g.
58. Drenched
60. Wiehl of FOX News
61. Piquant parade
64. Changing of lean to elan, e.g.
65. Cyber user
66. Strain
67. Go-getters
Down
1. ___ Roo
2. Cooling-off period
3. Ulcer type
4. Certain computer file
5. Rash goddesses
6. Roost
7. DeLuise
8. Assayers’ stuff
9. Derby prize
10. Turkey part
11. Putting off
12. His “4” was retired
14. Myst character
15. Encodes
17. Haute couture
22. Heroin, slangily
25. Cathedral recess
27. Colon cleaner
29. ___ Europe
30. Man and Casino
33. Brightly colored seed
cover
36. Tittle-tattles
37. Shed light on
38. ___ Review
39. TV series, 1991-95
40. Weapon storer
46. About 1% of the atmo
sphere
48. On fire
49. Certain angler
50. Green teas
52. It takes two to do it.....
54. “Snowy” bird
57. Novelist Jones
59. Legendary Tibetan
61. Video maker, for short
62. He played a robot on TV
63. Pronged spear
Answers for the week of 10/15