Primitive 2

22 March 2010
PRimiTivE 2
What happens in Viimsi stays in Viimsi
maybe some subline here?
Written by Kaarle / Aleksandrs
The quest for finding nightly entertainment starts at
about 1 AM. All the delegates have arrived back from
the EYP Café and having just showered, most of them
are in their sleeping rooms. It looks that nothing
interesting is going on, but that very thought seems
extremely controversial to an EYP event. Thus, as
wandering on deeper into the night, different
revelations start unveiling.
One of the people who wasn't idle at night was the
infamous Robert from ITRE, responsible for most of
the toothpaste damage. Once the previously chosen
innocent victim retreats to sleep, he is there to work his
dirty magic. A little hint for you Robert – toothpaste is
not actually a turn-on.
Now try to remember your German lessons and read
with expression:”Ja, ja-a-a! Schneller, hoeher, harter!!!“
Yes thank you, Lili from LIBE for reminding us about
the wonders of German cinema.
Hold on! Is it so so that you want to stick with the
people you've met in EYP, hold the person tight and
never let go? Well, try fighting with us! The dying
seagull game will make you a few centimeters taller!
What was the last time you were really happy? When
you scored that other delegate in Jussi Õlletuba? But
how happy were you? Were you that SPEECHLESS? If
not, there is still someone to leave you silent with with
joy. I am of course talking about a character in the
Mafia game.
FASHION DO’S
Written by Karin / Alex
Hey there, sugarpie! We're back as promised and we're
impressed. You are one of the hottest and most stylish
delegates ever (and believe us we've seen many). As we
have said before fine goods need fine packaging. Here
are some of the more remarkable examples:
Probably not by ARMANI, but still hot.
Hot patterns
An "A" for the harmonious combination.
Stripes, stripes, stripes!
A little punk aint bad at all.
Back to your roots.
Who wouldn't hit that?
!!!
The somber beast.
Kissing disease...
Written by Marian
First of all, have you ever heard about the kissing
disease? This is not a simple illness. In fact, most of
you have probably suffered from it.
It all started in the 10th Estonian national where an
innocent Kissing game expanded to an epidemic
disease. One nice girl said to me that she had to kiss
only 5 persons but she had already kissed 20. Attracted
to kissing?
And now for a more serious topic – which are the
symptoms of the kissing disease? People who suffer
from this rare illness will be more and more dependent
on kissing. Kissing seems like a drug to them. One girl
with a joyful face said: “Obviously, I don’t know how
many people I have already kissed. I like it, it satisfies
me”. Later on I saw a boy going to a girl and kissing
her passionately. His comments were brief: “It wasn’t
the best but I liked it.”
How to tell whether you’re in the final stage of the
disease? Well – apparently then it doesn’t matter who
you’re going to kiss. Do you remember Katy Perry’s
song “I kissed a girl?” Sure you do. Well, one delegate
walked on the air and said like in the song: “I kissed a
girl and I liked it.” Lovely lad added: “Unfortunately I
only had the chance to kiss girls, maybe I’ll have better
luck next time?” Although, the game ended, you have
still time to come out of the box! Make your dreams
come true (even if they only involve kissing others and
spreading this severe disease)
LOVE - A SAFE PLACE IN AN UNSAFE WORLD
Written by Anna-Liisa
Now and then a certain feeling finds you during an
EYP session. For some weird reason people call it love.
Here are some magical and never before seen tips if
that should happen to you. Find out how you can get
that special attention from your eyecandy.
1) Don’t play “hard-to-get” with a delegate who is hard
to get!
2) Be assertive! You, my dear delegate, have THE
power. A lot of chairs are shy and quite awkward in
front of the delegates they like, so offer them
possibilities to get with you.
7) Chocolate releases another chemical that makes you
feel very happy. Try it. Don’t overdo, unless your aim is
to be obese. Set boundaries.
8) Not showing too much flesh is so 2000 and late. It’s
hot and totally in now. More flesh, we say. Exaggerate
with it.
9) Sit with legs crossed and when you see your hottie
passing by uncross your legs and SHOW THEM
LOVE!
10) Make Discovery Channel noises, they’re cool!!
3) Be fast! If you want to be that special delegate, you
have to be sure there are no rivals.
11) Bend and snap in front of the person you have the
hots for.
4) Be down with yourself.
12) Cling, harass, google, get your hottie his/her own
Urban Dictionary definition.
It is always said that liking yourself is the most
important thing…well I can’t promise it’s a pleasant
journey… give it a go – it might be fun.
13) Spoon like a weasel.
5) Have patience! These things take time.
But don't take rejection too personally. It happens. Not
everyone in the world is going to like you. Move on!
6) Get interested in that special persona of your chosen
hottie!
Use strong statements. “I hate your hobbies” is an
honest opinion. If he/she can’t handle it – well, that’s
just weak.
ARRR
RRRR
!
KUR
!
R
R
RR
WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE
Written by Luca / Karin
EYP Cafes are an essential part of the whole EYP
experience. Why? Because they’re parties with the
whole gang, good music and fun. For the first EYP
Café, we let our loonies take over the party at Jussi
Õlletuba.
When we first got to the venue, the party had already
begun. Everybody was there, including all the
sweethearties, babies, bitches and midgets (did you spot
any, if so, then report to the media room, if you didn’t,
do not report to the media room) – the whole shebang
of animals that Mother Nature has to offer us (besides
the lovely rainbow unicorns, of course).
Among the species represented were:
Cats – “meowing” for attention
Zebras – trying to seduce with their excellent taste
(black and white, yeah)
A Tiger – definitely standing out
Leopards – all eyes on them in the centre of the ring
just like a circus
A Pink panther – mistaken as a sweet and innocent
pink mouse
Mice – like rats, everywhere
Dalmatians – sexy poodles, were there 101 of them?
A Poodle – disgusting, EYP Cafes are not dog
exhibitions, go home!
A Flamingo – cool, you get a huge lol
Come to think of it, it seemed as the first EYP
Café was themed, but it just as well could have been a
coincidence that people looked like they had escaped
from the zoo – everybody wants to let out some steam
once in a while.
Speaking of steam, did it get hot on the dance floor or
what, people! We saw some crazy-ass dance moves
(especially during Low by Flo Rida and Sexy Bitch by
David Guetta). Besides breaking the golden rule in the
dark corners of Jussi Õlletuba and putting the blame on
ground floor, birds and reptiles took the roof and
smaller animals grouped up in the corners.
It is a necessity for an animal to eat. The food was
fabulously delicious. Everybody loves a hot potato.
Thanks to the food we didn’t have any accounts of
herbivores getting eaten.
Leaving the party was organised in shifts, because the
mental hospital workers back at school always take
their time with putting people back into their
straitjackets. The wild animals can’t function normally
in bigger groups, so there’s yet another reason why they
were whipped into groups.
We cannot help but mention the weather which took us
by surprise as well. Animals kept complaining about
how they are awful swimmers and can’t get across the
mighty rivers of Viimsi, how their fur got stuck
together and lost its shine. What a bunch of pussies, but
then again, we did see the cats swimming doggy-style,
so cudos to that.
We’d like to end this more-than-words-could-everdescribe-entertaining article with the wise words of
delegate no 17: “I don’t know a lot about politics, but I
recognize an awesome party when I see one.”
the kissing game, the folk also entertained themselves
with a bit of strip poker.
Depending on the different animals’ conformities, they
adapted to different locations. Mammals were on the
CROSSWORD
C
I
L
P
O
A
O
Ablutophobia
Acarophobia
Acerophobia
Apotemnophobia
Cardiophobia
Cathisophobia
Cnidophobia
Carnophobia
Catagelophobia
Clinophobia
Cometophobia
Demophobia
Dentophobia
Ecclesiophobia
Eleutherophobia
Entomophobia
Hypnophobia
Lachanophobia
LOLophobia
Nomatophobia
Ablutophobia- Fear of bathing
Cathisophobia- Fear of sitting
Clinophobia- Fear of going to bed
Cnidophobia- Fear of the string
Eleutherophobia- Fear of freedom
Hypnophobia- Fear of sleep
Nomatophobia- Fear of names
Lolophobia- Fear of LOL
This is the journal of Charlie Gordon...
Written by Marian
Dear Algernon,
They took my strait jacket to the dry cleaner's today, so I'm enjoying a bit of freedom for a change. They also gave
me some ink and a feather in order to direct my rage into literature. I'm having a relaxed and distressed period right
now so I've been conjuring up visions for the past two weeks and finally I get to describe them on paper.
The only good thing in this institution that I'm being kept in is that I'm surrounded by people. Real human beings
who have various backgrounds and different opinions on life are all united in this small bleak house in the middle of
nowhere. I don't think that the world out there would understand or feel for any of us. But we don't care. And I know
you don't care either. As long as we know what our aim is, it's fine.
The reason why I'm writing to you, Algernon, is that you're the only one who has been through all this. They've
been taking blood tests, drawing your mental curves and diagnosing you with the same thing that they're diagnosing
me right now. But look at where you are – you've reached the state of mind that only very few before us have. You are
blessed.
I have a dream that one day our concerted action will reach the wider public. And this is only a matter of us. We've
managed so far, we've been doing this for 23 years in 33 countries and this is noteworthy. I knew you would relate to
this.
Clarification:
Bring me flowers,
Charlie
"Flowers for Algernon is the story of a man's inner journey from a world of
retardation to a world of high intelligence. Charlie Gordon lives through comic,
sad, and ironic experiences as he emerges from mental darkness, through the
various stages of perceiving and understanding levels of knowledge, into the
light of complex awareness of the world, of people, and of himself“. (Daniel
Keyes, 1959, New York, Hugo Award for Best Novelette of the Year )