Handouts - Association of Professional Chaplains

Transcription

7/27/2016
When Two Worlds Collide…
Utilizing a Pastoral Care and School Intervention Partnership to Support the School Community Following a Patient’s Death Amy Simpson, MDiv, BCC
Megan Elam, EdD
Learning Objectives
1. Describe the impact of a child’s death on his/her school community
2. Describe opportunity for interventions and partnership from the treating pediatric hospital
3. Examine the impact of a School Crisis Support Plan intervention developed collaboratively between a Chaplain and School Intervention experts 4. Implement or adapt the School Crisis Support Plan shared during this presentation
9th
Grade
Osteosarcoma
Well‐liked
Friends
Small Community
Sam’s* Story
Family
4‐H
Girlfriend
*Names have been changed
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“Our Student is Dying, Now What?”
Partnership vs. Collaboration
What something IS
Vs.
What someone DOES
Carnwell & Carson (2004) According to the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement (2013): Nearly 40% of youth will have
experienced the death of a peer
by the time they complete high
school
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On the loss of a child… • Sudden death of a child can have significant psychological impact • Social support is critical in promoting social and psychological well‐being following a tragic loss • Children require emotional and practical support following an unexpected death (Dyregrove, 2004, p. 24)
Bereaved children…
• Are vulnerable • May develop psychological, behavioral and social difficulties
• Need to process their feelings and discuss the loss with trusted adults (Ayyash‐Abdo, 2001, p. 417) Hospital School Liaisons and teachers are lacking a formal, standard approach to grief and crisis support following the death of a student 3
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Call to Action
“A member of the healthcare team should contact the family after a child's death to assess family needs, to identify those at risk for negative psychosocial sequelae, to continue care, and to provide resources for bereavement support.”
‐Pediatric Psychosocial Standards of Care (2015)
School Crisis Support Plan
Preparation
• Sections 1.0 ‐ 4.0
Implementation
• Sections 5.0 – 7.0
Follow‐Up
• Section 8.0
Appendix • Supplements/Resources Section 1.0 – Initiation Organization/Planning between the Chaplain and School Intervention Specialist
Section 2.0 – Contacting the Family
Section 3.0 – Initial Contact with the School
Section 4.0 – Gaining Details for School Visit
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Implementation
Section 5.0 – School Administration Meeting
Section 6.0 – Crisis Intervention Team/ Teacher Meeting
Section 7.0 – Discussion with Students
Implementation
Follow‐Up
Appendix •
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
SCSP Flowchart
Navigating Children’s Grief
Profiles of Children’s Grieving Styles
Sample Parent Letter
Parent Tip Sheet and Resources
Bereavement Organizations and Resources
Suggested Books About Death/Loss
Sample School Staff Notification Email
Ideas For Self‐Care
Memorialization Activities
Monkey in my Chair: When a Student Dies
Lesson Plans
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Insight 1
A strong partnership begins with a strong foundation…
There must be a NEED for the partnership
“Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success.” — Henry Ford
Insight 2
A strong partnership unifies a variety of disciplines/expertise…
Identify partners who have expertise that you lack, yet NEED! Insight 3
A strong partnership is mutually beneficial and truly “give and take”…
Good partners engage equally in tasks and support! “No one can whistle a symphony. It takes a whole orchestra to play it.”
— H.E. Luccock
“The most productive, healthy and satisfying relationships are based, not on a quid pro quo but an ebb and flow of mutual support over time. Don’t just be a giver. Be an extremely helpful giver who demonstrates an awareness of what that person most needs.”
― Kare Anderson
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Insight 4
A strong partnership is based on a common vision and purpose…
A good partnership will flourish when the shared vision is meaningful! “Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.”
— Andrew Carnegie
Insight 5
A strong partnership requires mutual investment and commitment…
A good partnership will be sustainable when all members are committed! “The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team.” — Phil Jackson
Insight 6
A strong partnership requires flexibility…
A good partnership will flourish when all stakeholders can adapt
to changing circumstances! “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” —Helen Keller
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Questions | Comments
Discussion
8
School Crisis Support Plan Workbook:
What to Do When a Child Dies
Developed by The School Intervention Program & The Department of Pastoral Care at
Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center
Rev. Amy Simpson, MDiv, BCC
Megan Elam, EdD
Mary Kay Irwin, EdD
Joan Elfers, BS
Use the following citation to cite this workbook:
Simpson, A., Irwin, M.K., Elam, M.P., Elfers, J. (2016). School Crisis Support Plan Workbook: What to Do
When a Child Dies. Retrieved from http://www.aphoes.wildapricot.org/page-1470753
Table of Contents
Section 1.0 – Initial Organization between School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain
Reference 1.1 – School Information Worksheet
3
4
Reference 2.1- Talking with the Family of a Child Still Living
Reference 2.2- Talking with the Family of a Deceased Child
5
6
8
Section 3.0 – Initial Contact with Child’s School
10
Section 4.0 – Gaining Details for the School Administration Meeting and Preparing Documents
Reference 4.1 - School Visit Preparation
Reference 4.2 - School Visit Schedule
11
12
13
Reference 5.1 - School Administration Meeting Agenda
14
15
Section 6.0 -- Crisis Intervention Team/Teacher Meeting
Reference 6.1 - Crisis Intervention Team/Teacher Meeting Agenda
16
17
Section 7.0 – Meeting with Students (Classroom Discussion about Student’s Death)
Reference 7.1 - Classroom Information Worksheet for CCHMC Staff
Reference 7.2 - Classroom Information Worksheet for School Staff
Reference 7.3 - Reflection Activity (Elementary)
Reference 7.4 - Reflection Activity (Secondary)
Reference 7.5 - Additional Support for Students
18
19
22
24
25
27
28
29
Section 8.0 – Follow-Up Meeting
Reference 8.1 – Follow-up Plan Worksheet
Appendix
SCSP Flowchart
SCSP Tool Kit
Ideas For Self-Care
Short-Term Lesson Plans
Long-Term Lesson Plans
30
31
32
33
35
37
38
39
42
45
46
47
48
49
55
2
Section 1.0 – Initial Organization between School Intervention
Specialist and Chaplain
The purpose of this section is to guide the initial planning and communication between the School Intervention
staff and the Chaplain when a patient has died or a patient’s death is impending.

The Chaplain and School Intervention Specialist discuss the following information:
o Information regarding impending death of the child or…
o Information regarding the death of the child:
 Date of Death
 Place of Death
 Time of Death

The Chaplain and School Intervention Specialist will complete Reference 1.1 School Information Worksheet

The Chaplain and School Intervention Specialist will determine whether the patient’s school is inside or outside
of the travel radius
o
o

If the child’s school is located within the approved travel radius, the full crisis support plan will be
offered, as outlined in the School Crisis Support Plan (SCSP) flowchart (see SCSP Flowchart in Appendix)
If the child’s school is located outside of the approved travel radius, the Chaplain/School Intervention
Specialist will not provide in-person support. However, phone/email support will still be offered and the
School Intervention Specialist will facilitate distribution of the school crisis support plan packet
Advance to Section 2.0 – Contacting the Family
3
Reference 1.1 – School Information Worksheet
Family Phone Number:
Date of death:
Time of death:
Place of death:
Types of services:
Location of services:
Are the services open to the public?
Yes No
List of information to be shared with school:
School Visit Details
School Phone Number:
Date of School Visit:
School Address:
Name of Primary School Contact Person(s):
Emergency Contact Information/Personal Cell
# of Primary Contact Person(s):
Setting up the School Meetings for the Visit
Type of Meeting
Names of Participants
Administration Meeting
Crisis Intervention Team Meeting
Teacher Meeting
4
The purpose of this section is to guide the process of informing the family of the School Intervention Crisis
Support Plan and all resources available. Services should be introduced via phone or during an in-person
meeting. Additionally, information regarding services for the child’s death will be obtained. In most cases, the
chaplain will lead the outreach and communication that occurs directly with the family.

The School Intervention Specialist and the Chaplain will discuss the best approach for this discussion (i.e., phone
vs. in-person), and who should lead the discussion (i.e., Chaplain vs. School Intervention Specialist); the
appropriate person will then set up a meeting time or call the family

If the patient is still living, refer to Reference 2.1 Talking with the Family of a Child Still Living and follow the
script/talking points

If the patient has died, refer to Reference 2.2 Talking with the Family of a Deceased Child and follow the
script/talking points

If the family chooses to share information about the child’s death with the school, fill out information on
Reference 1.1 School Information Worksheet

Advance to Section 3.0 – Initial Contact with Child’s School
5
Reference 2.1 - Talking with the Family of a Child Still Living
The purpose of this initial phone call/meeting is to inform the family of the School Crisis Support Plan (SCSP),
and to discuss with them the resources and supports that are available to support their child’s school
community in the wake of the child’s death.
If the child is currently admitted at CCHMC as an inpatient the chaplain will meet with the family. If the child is not
admitted either the Chaplain/School Intervention Specialist will contact the family. The outline below presents general
talking points for this discussion.



Introduction
o The chaplain will introduce herself and her role
o The chaplain will express condolences and ask how the family is coping
 If the family reveals a need for additional support, the chaplain will make the appropriate
referrals
SCSP Service Introduction
o If the family lives within travel radius of the hospital, the chaplain will explain that, as part of the SCSP,
we will:
 Inform the school of pertinent information surrounding their child’s death, including
appropriate details about the death (i.e., date, place, and time of death)
 Provide in-person support to faculty and administration
 Collaborate with the school’s crisis support team to inform the classmates of the child’s death
 Provide group and individual support to students
 Provide the school with resources for bereavement follow up
 Provide a letter to be sent home to the parents of the classmates to explain the services
facilitated at the school (and, when appropriate, the letter will include funeral/visitation details)
 Assist in the development of a school follow-up plan
o If the family lives outside of the travel radius of the hospital, the chaplain will explain that, as part of the
SCSP, we will:
 Send a crisis support packet to the school
 Offer phone consultation to the school
SCSP Information Gathering
o The chaplain will then ask the family about their wishes regarding the following information (to be
shared with school):
 Funeral services: Open or Private
 Name of funeral home
 Organization or charity for donations
 Other
o The chaplain will also ask the family if there is any information that they do not want shared with the
school community
o The chaplain may consider asking the family if they need any additional support from school community
o The chaplain will exchange contact information with the family should any follow-up bereavement care
be needed/desired
6
Sample Dialogue:
“Hi, this is [NAME], and I am a Chaplain from CCHMC. I heard the recent updates about [CHILD’s NAME] and I would like
to offer my support. How is [CHILD’s NAME] coping? (Pause) How are you and your family coping? (Pause) I want you
to know that there are many resources that we offer families in your situation. We want to be available to you, your
family, and your child’s school community to assist however possible. One way that we help in providing support is
through our School Crisis Support Plan. Through our School Crisis Support Plan, our Pastoral Care and School
Intervention Program staff partner together to help your child’s school community in the wake of the loss. We can help
with the following:


If the family lives within the travel radius of the hospital:
o Assist the family in informing the school of pertinent information
o Provide support to faculty and administration
o Assist the crisis support team with informing the students of child’s death
o Provide group and individual support to students
o Provide the school with resources for bereavement follow up
o Provide a letter to be sent home to parents informing them of the support services which occurred at
school
o Assist in creation of school follow up plan
If the family lives outside of the travel radius of the hospital:
o Send a crisis support packet to the school
o School Intervention Specialist /Chaplain offers consultation services
“Routinely, we call schools to provide information and offer assistance in informing [CHILD’S NAME’s] classmates, such
as the date of death, place of death, and time of death.
Many times, students will ask a variety of questions and we want to be sure to answer those questions
truthfully. However, if there is information you do not want shared, we will honor that. Some of the questions the
children might ask are related to details of the funeral services, such as: Will there be services and will they be open to
everyone? What funeral home are you using? Is there a certain organization or charity you are requesting for donations
to be sent? In addition to this information, is there anything else you would want shared with the school regarding the
funeral or visitation services?
Oftentimes, families and schools want to know how they can be of assistance during a time like this. Is there anything
specific that the school community could do to help you and your family? It is likely that the school will engage in some
remembrance activities. Some may occur immediately, while others may occur in the future. Would you like to be
made aware of those activities or would you like for those activities to be held separately?
Please know that we continue to hold you in our thoughts and you can contact us for CCHMC’s resources regarding
follow-up bereavement care, if needed.”
7
Reference 2.2 - Talking with the Family of a Deceased Child
The purpose of this initial phone call/meeting is to offer condolences to the family, inform the family of the
School Crisis Support Plan (SCSP) services, and to discuss with them the resources and supports that are
available to support their child’s school community in the wake of the child’s death. While desirable, this
conversation is not always possible; even if the SCSP cannot be introduced to the family, the chaplain/school
intervention specialist may still proceed with outreach to the patient’s school. In these cases, the Chaplain will
attempt to contact the family to discuss the services within 48 hours.
If the child died while admitted at CCHMC as an inpatient, the chaplain will meet with the family. If the child is not
admitted either the Chaplain/School Intervention Specialist will contact the family. The outline below presents general
talking points for this discussion.



Introduction
o The chaplain will introduce herself and her role
o The chaplain will express condolences and ask how the family is coping
 If the family reveals a need for additional support, the chaplain will make the appropriate
referrals
SCSP Service Introduction
o If the family lives within the travel radius of the hospital, the chaplain will explain that, as part of the
SCSP, we will:
 Provide in-person support to faculty and administration
 Collaborate with the school’s crisis support team to inform the classmates of the child’s death
 Provide group and individual support to students
 Provide the school with resources for bereavement follow up
 Provide a letter to be sent home to the parents of the classmates to explain the support services
facilitated at the school (and, when appropriate, the letter will include funeral/visitation details)
 Assist in the development of a school follow-up plan
o If the family lives outside of the travel radius of the hospital, the chaplain will explain that, as part of the
SCSP, we will:
 Send a crisis support packet to the school
 Offer phone consultation to the school
SCSP Information Gathering
o The chaplain will then ask the family about their wishes regarding the following information (to be
shared with school):
 Funeral services: Open or Closed
 Organization or charity for donations
 Other
o The chaplain will also ask the family if there is any information that they do not want shared with the
school community
o The chaplain may consider asking the family if they need any additional support from school community
o The chaplain will exchange contact information with the family, should any follow-up bereavement care
be needed/desired
8
Sample Dialogue:
“Hi, this is [Name], and I am a chaplain from CCHMC. I can imagine this is a very difficult time for you. I’m calling to
discuss a specific way in which we can support you at this time. Before I get into those details, I would like to ask how
you and your family are coping (pause & respond if appropriate)? We want to be available to you, your family, and your
child’s school community to assist however possible. One way that we help in providing support is through our School
Crisis Support Plan. Through our School Crisis Support Plan, our Pastoral Care and School Intervention Program staff
partner together to help your child’s school community in the wake of this loss. We can help with the following:


If the family lives within the travel radius of the hospital:
o Provide support to faculty and administration
o Assist the crisis support team with informing the students of child’s death
o Provide group and individual support to students
o Provide the school with resources for bereavement follow up
o Provide a letter to be sent home to parents informing them of the support services which occurred at
school
o Assist in creation of school follow up plan
If the family lives outside of the travel radius of the hospital:
o Send a crisis support packet to the school
o School Intervention Specialist/Chaplain offers consultation services
“Routinely, we call schools to provide information and offer assistance in informing [CHILD’S NAME’s] classmates, such
as the date of death, place of death, and time of death. “
Many times, students will ask a variety of questions and we want to be sure to answer those questions
truthfully. However, if there is information you do not want shared, we will honor that. Some of the questions the
children might ask are related to details of the funeral services, such as: Will there be services and will they be open to
everyone? What funeral home are you using? Is there a certain organization or charity you are requesting for donations
to be sent? In addition to this information, is there anything else you would want shared with the school regarding the
funeral or visitation services?
Oftentimes, families and schools want to know how they can be of assistance during a time like this. Is there anything
specific that the school community could do to help you and your family? It is likely that the school will engage in some
remembrance activities. Some may occur immediately, while others may occur in the future. Would you like to be
made aware of those activities or would you like for those activities to be held separately?
Please know that we continue to hold you in our thoughts and you can contact us for CCHMC’s resources regarding
follow-up bereavement care, if needed.
9
Section 3.0 – Initial Contact with Child’s School
The purpose of this section is to guide the initial outreach to school regarding the child’s death (or impending
death), and to introduce the School Crisis Support Plan (SCSP) to the school. During this initial contact, the
School Intervention Specialist will determine whether the school will accept SCSP services.

Before contacting school, remember:
o A person’s death is public record, so specific information about the death (date, time, and place) can
always be shared.
o Use direct language, such as “death/died.” Avoid vague words and phrases, such as “passed away, lost,
or gone.”
o Beyond the basic information listed above, only share additional information permitted by the family,
such as:
 Location of service
 Services are private or open to the public
 Particular organizations and/or charities the family has selected to receive donations
 Other information the family wants to share with the school

The following script can serve as a guide when contacting the school:
“Hi, my name is [NAME], and I am a School Intervention Specialist from CCHMC. I’m calling to inform
you that on [DATE], [NAME OF CHILD], died at [PLACE]. My team has been in contact with [NAME OF
CHILD]’s family and (share permitted information from SCSP worksheet). We understand that this is a
difficult time for your school and community. We would like to offer to assist your school during this
challenging time. Our program is designed to complement a school’s existing crisis support plan. For
example, in the wake of the student’s death, many students will have medical-related questions which
frequently arise due to fears associated with their own well-being and that of their family members.
Additionally, some of the other services we typically offer include:








Assisting the family with informing the school of pertinent information
Providing support to faculty and administration
Assisting the crisis support team with informing the students of child’s death
Providing group and individual support to students
Providing resources for bereavement follow up
Providing a letter template to be sent home to parents informing them of the support services
which occurred at the school
Assisting in the creation of school follow up plan
Providing a school resource kit including sample lesson plans, recommended book lists, and
other helpful tools
While our services are intended to help in the immediate aftermath of the student’s death, we can also
share materials with you that will provide your staff with resources for ongoing bereavement support.
Due to this information being time sensitive, can we discuss the possibility of coming to the school as
soon as possible?”

If the school accepts the services, advance to Section 4.0 – Gaining Details for the School Administration
Meeting.
10
Section 4.0 – Gaining Details for the School Administration
Meeting and Preparing Documents
The purpose of this section is to aid in planning for the school visit, including obtaining all information needed
from the school for the visit, and planning the first meeting of the day: the School Administration Meeting.

The School Intervention Specialist will work with the primary school contact person to plan the school visit
details, including the date, time, and place to implement plan. The School Intervention Specialist will complete
Reference 4.2 School Visit Schedule during this phone call

The School Intervention Specialist will request to meet with the district’s Crisis Intervention Team (CIT) and
relevant teachers
o Ideally, this meeting should occur on the same day as the intervention visit, just prior to meeting with
the students

The School Intervention Specialist will request that school personnel provide a list of names of close
friends/relatives of the deceased child
o For an improved outcome, consider meeting with close friends and/or relatives within the school of the
deceased child prior to presentation to the other students. This gives the friends/relatives an
opportunity to grieve separately. These students should be given the choice to return to the classroom
for the announcement with the student body or to relocate to a pre-determined location for additional
support

The School Intervention Specialist may consider suggesting that when sharing the information with the student
body, that the CIT should make the announcement in classroom-sized groups rather than an assembly type
setting. This is considered best practice, as students are more apt to pay attention, participate and show
emotions when the group is smaller

The School Intervention Specialist will work with the school team to identify details about the school visit,
including the following:
o Location for the students to meet for additional grief support if they do not want to remain in the
classroom after the announcement
o Number of students who will be participating in the program (to ensure that the correct number of
copies are prepared for activities)

The School Intervention Specialist will offer the school team a copy of all sample notifications (email for staff,
letter for families) to inform school communities about the death of the student. The School Intervention
Specialist will prepare the following Reference sheets:
o Reference 4.1 School Visit Preparation (preceding the school visit)
o Reference 4.2 School Visit Schedule
o Reference 5.1 School Administration Meeting Agenda
o Reference 6.1 Crisis Intervention Team/Teacher Meeting Agenda
Consider providing the school with a flash drive for easy access to electronic versions of relevant materials. This
will increase utilization and simplify a stressful situation (e.g., the principal can easily copy and paste the content
for notification email and letters and quickly personalize these documents prior to distribution)

Advance to Section 5.0 – School Administration Meeting
11
Reference 4.1 – School Visit Preparation
1. When a patient’s death is impending, please complete the following with the
school:
a. Describe the School Crisis Support Plan
b. Discuss school’s desired level of intervention and identify what supports
they would like to receive
c. Obtain emergency contact information for appropriate school personnel
(e.g., principal’s cell phone number)
d. Send relevant materials in advance (e.g., Sample Parent Letter, Sample
School Staff Notification Email) via email
□
2. For notification of a patient’s death, contact the school immediately to discuss
the following:
a. Determine the date/time/place for the School Crisis Intervention visit
b. Request that meetings be scheduled with the Administrators, the Crisis
Intervention Team, and the teachers prior to the student presentations
on the day of the visit
c. Request that the school personnel provide a list of close friends/relatives
of the deceased child so that these children can be notified separately, if
needed, on the day of the visit
□
3. Prior to the traveling to the school for the Crisis Intervention visit:
a. Preview supplementary materials for talking points
b. Review script/talking points for delivery of information
c. Prepare materials for SCSP Kit (see appendix for suggested items)
d. Complete Reference 4.2 School Visit Schedule
e. Complete Reference 5.1 School Administration Meeting Agenda
f. Complete Reference 6.1 Crisis Intervention Team and Teacher Meeting
Agenda
g. Make copies of Reference 7.3 or 7.4 Reflection Activity for Students
h. Make copies or have school make copies of the following appendix
items: Navigating Children’s Grief, Profiles of Children’s Grieving Styles,
Ideas for Self-Care, Parent Letter, and Parent Tip Sheet and Resources
□
12
Reference 4.2 - School Visit Schedule
Date:
School Name:
Phone:
School Address:
Start Time
End Time
Activity
Location
School Administration Meeting
Crisis Intervention Team/Teacher Meeting
Meeting with Students
Support for Students who need Additional
Care
Name of Staff Providing Additional
Support:
Follow-up meeting
Notes:
13
The purpose of this section is to aid in planning and organizing the meeting with the school administration and
staff. During this meeting the team will work together to plan and prepare for the meeting with the students in
which the death of the patient will be discussed.
Potential attendees: Principal, Vice Principal, School Psychologist, Guidance Counselor, Superintendent






The School Intervention Specialist will distribute Reference 5.1 School Administration Meeting Agenda
The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will initiate introductions
o Within the introduction, the School Intervention Specialist and the Chaplain will discuss their
involvement with the family/deceased student (e.g., in-services/school meetings, hospital visits, most
recent involvement related to the death)
o The school personnel should be invited to introduce themselves and explain their
relationship/involvement with the deceased student
The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will review information pertaining to the student’s death
o Date, time, place of death
o Arrangements/Services (i.e., public vs. private)
o Other permitted information provided from family
o Family’s preferred donation recipients
 If the family stated that they do not want any monetary support, be sure to mention their desire
at this time
The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will inquire about the current emotional state of the students
and staff:
o Do all of the students already know about the death?
o Have all of the staff members been informed?
o Have any activities been planned (e.g., vigils, memory making activities, etc.)? If so, add to Reference 8.1
Follow-up Plan Worksheet
o Are there particular students/staff struggling more than others? If so, suggest that a plan be put into
place for additional support for these students (e.g., determine who will be calling the parents to inform
them of their child’s struggle, recommend that they attend the meeting with close friend’s/students,
etc.). If a staff member is struggling, offer for Chaplain to meet individually with them; if they are on the
Crisis Intervention Team, recommend that they be removed so that they can receive the support that
they need
The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will review and discuss the Reference 4.2 School Visit Schedule
o This will include collecting the names of the district’s Crisis Intervention Team members and the names
of close friends/relatives of the deceased student
o This will also include determining an appropriate location for students in need of additional support and
select appropriate personnel/staff to be present in a designated location to provide the additional
support to students
Advance to Section 6.0 – Crisis Intervention Team/Teacher Meeting
14
Reference 5.1 – School Administration Meeting Agenda
Date:
Time:
Location:
Attendees:
Start Time
End Time
Activity
Introductions
All faculty, staff, and School Intervention Specialist/Chaplain introductions
Details of student’s death
Student/Staff Current Emotional State
Schedule of the Day



Distribute schedule for the day
Collect names of Crisis Intervention Team
Collect names of close friends/relatives
Students Needing Additional Support
Wrap-up
15
Section 6.0 – Crisis Intervention Team/Teacher Meeting
The purpose of this section is to assist in planning for the meeting with the Crisis Intervention Team and the
teachers to discuss the death of the child and to plan for/organize classroom discussions with the students.

The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will distribute Reference 6.1 Crisis Intervention Team and
Teacher Meeting Agenda

The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will facilitate introductions
o Have school personnel introduce themselves
o Explain roles of School Intervention Specialist/Chaplain
o Share School Intervention Specialist/Chaplain involvement with the family and deceased student (e.g.,
involvement with in-services/school meetings; hospital visits; most recent involvement related to the
death)

The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will review information pertaining to the student’s death
o Date, time, place of death
o Arrangements/Services - Open or private
o Permitted information from family
o Suggested donation recipients
 If the family stated that they do not want any monetary support, be sure to mention their desire
at this time
o The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will distribute copies of appendix items Navigating
Children’s Grief and Profiles of Children’s Grieving Styles

The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will address questions and provide time for reflection/discussion

The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will distribute copies of appendix item Ideas for Self-Care and
discuss the importance of self-care with the staff

The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will review the Schedule for the Day
o The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will distribute and review Reference 7.2 Classroom
Information Worksheet (School Staff), and will suggest that the Crisis Intervention Team/Teachers read
and become familiar with the Classroom Information Sheet. Familiarity with the text will help avoid
reading it word for word, if possible, during the presentation to the students (in instances in which they
are helping with or leading the discussion)
o The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will distribute and review Reference 7.3 Reflection
Activity (Elementary) or Reference 7.4 Reflection Activity (Secondary) for the classroom following
announcement of death and will share School Resource Kit. Suggested items for the resource kit can be
found in the appendix
Follow Up
o The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will distribute copies of the Parent Letter and Parent Tip
Sheet and Resources (located in the appendix) for the teachers to distribute to their students at the end
of the school day (distribution at the end of the day will help to increase the probability that the
students will successfully deliver the materials to their parents)
If time permits, a 10-15 minute break might be beneficial for the group prior to delivering the information to the
students
Advance to Section 7.0 Classroom Discussion about Student’s Death



16
Reference 6.1 – Crisis Intervention Team/Teacher Meeting Agenda
Date:
Time:
Location:
Attendees:
Start Time
End Time
Activity
Introductions
All faculty, staff, and School Intervention Specialist/Chaplain introductions
Details of student’s death
Questions/Discussion
Self-care
Distribute bereavement resources and tips for self-care from appendix
Care of Students




Distribute schedule for the day
Distribute and review classroom information worksheet
Distribute and review reflection activity
Review Navigating Children’s Grief and Profiles of Children’s
Grieving Styles
Wrap-up
 Distribute parent letter
 Distribute parent tip sheet and resources
17
Section 7.0 – Meeting with Students
(Classroom Discussion about Student’s Death)
The purpose of this section is to guide the delivery of news and sharing of information with the students. The
designated adults will meet with each classroom to share the details about their classmate’s death and assist
in supporting the school to help the students grieve.

Review Classroom Information Worksheet (Reference 7.1 if CCHMC staff or Reference 7.2 if school staff) with
students
o
Please read over the content prior to the discussion with the students. This will familiarize you with the
information you will be providing to the students. If possible, when presenting the information to the
students, it is best to not read the Classroom Information Worksheet word for word.
o
Sample discussion should include:





Introduction
Information regarding arrangements and services
Additional information to be shared
Funeral/Memorial Service discussion
Closing remarks regarding additional support provided for students

Pass out Reflection Activity (Reference 7.3 for elementary students or Reference 7.4 for secondary students)

Advance to Section 8.0 Follow-up Meeting
18
Reference 7.1 – Classroom Information Worksheet (CCHMC Staff)
Introduction:
 Introduction of School Intervention Specialist – Name and Title
 Introduction of Chaplain – Name and Title
 Explain prior involvement with child/school community
 Explain role relative to SCSP
 Sample:
 “Hi everyone. My name is [SCHOOL INTERVENTION SPECIALIST NAME] and I am a [TITLE – School
Intervention Specialist] at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital.”
 “And my name is [CHAPLAIN NAME], and I am a [TITLE – Chaplain] from Cincinnati Children’s
Hospital.”
 “You may remember meeting me back in [month] when I came and talked to you about
[Patient’s Name]. We talked about cancer and what the doctors were doing at Cincinnati
Children’s Hospital to help [Patient], and we talked about how you could be good friends and
support [Patient].”
OR (if speakers have not previously visited this group of students)
 Chaplain or School Intervention Specialist: “We are members of a support group that helps
schools cope with difficult situations.”
 Suggestion:
 Be sure to moderate the pace and volume of your speech in such a way that sets the mood/tone
for the visit. That is, speak calmly, somewhat slowly, and with a moderate volume to convey the
seriousness and sadness of the information being delivered.
 Be sure to adapt script to make it age appropriate.
Purpose:
 Explain purpose of visit and deliver news of child’s death
o Sample:
 (For return visit) “Unfortunately, we are here today with a sad update.”
OR
 (For initial visit): “We are here to give you some sad news about [CHILD’S NAME]. “
 “[CHILD’S NAME] died on [DAY], [DATE], at [TIME], [PLACE].”
o Suggestion:
 Pause after delivering this statement to give students a moment to “take in” the news.
Guided Discussion led by School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain:
 Provide the students with supportive dialogue and information using the following talking points:
o Sample:
 “Hearing this information may cause you to feel a variety of emotions including sadness, anger,
confusion, and other feelings. People express these emotions in different ways. Some people cry,
some do not. Some people want to talk about it, others do not. Some people want to be alone,
and other people want to be with their friends or family. Any emotions you may or may not be
feeling are OK. We do, however, encourage you to talk to a parent or caregiver about this news
when you go home.”
 “We want you to know that [CHILD’s NAME] fought very hard. His/her family fought very hard,
and his/her doctors fought very hard for his/her survival. Unfortunately, his/her cancer was a very
serious/aggressive type of cancer, and there was nothing left that the doctors could do to get rid
of the cancer.”
 “We also want you to know that [CHILD’S NAME] is no longer in pain. He/she died peacefully,
surrounded by people that loved him/her.”
19

o
(Here, it can be helpful to provide some specific details, if appropriate. For example, you
could state that they child died peacefully at home with his/her mom and dad present,
or that he/she died peacefully at the hospital, surrounded by family, the doctors and
nurses who loved and cared for him/her, etc.)
 “Once someone dies, they are no longer able to feel pain or emotions; that means that [CHILD’S
NAME] is not sad, and [CHILD’S NAME] does not hurt. The people that love him/her, like his/her
mom and dad, siblings, family, and friends feel very sad about this, and that is okay. You may see
some of the adults who love [CHILD’S NAME] crying or showing sadness, and we want you to know
that is okay, too. We do not want you to feel scared or afraid. We want you to know that the
adults in your life, like your parents and your teachers, love and care about you, and are here to
protect you and make you feel safe. If you feel sad, we want you to talk to them so that they can
help you.”
 “Sometimes hearing news like this can make you think about other people you love who may have
cancer or have died from cancer. You may think about other loved ones, or even pets that have
died. That is okay. This may also make you think of questions about death, dying, or cancer. Does
anyone have questions about these things? [PAUSE FOR QUESTIONS]. Remember, when I was
here before, we talked about how cancer is not common. We want to remind you of that today.
Cancer does not happen very often, and especially not in children; even more important is that
cancer in children does not often lead to death. We also want to remind you that [CHILD’S NAME]
did not do anything wrong to cause this to happen to him/her. We are not sure why [CHILD’S
NAME] got cancer, or why he/she died. Unfortunately, this is just something very sad that
happens in very rare cases. Do you have any other questions about [CHILD’S NAME] or his/her
cancer, specifically?”
 “Sometimes it is helpful to talk about your memories of [CHILD’S NAME]. Is there anything that
you really enjoyed doing with [CHILD’S NAME]? Does anyone remember something funny that
[CHILD’S NAME] did? What did [CHILD’S NAME] enjoy doing either at school or out of school?
What were some of [CHILD’S NAME] favorite things?
Suggestion:
 The School Intervention Specialist and the Chaplain should alternate through the delivery of this
information, pausing periodically to allow students to consider what is being said, and to reflect
on the information.
Arrangements/Services:
 After some time has been spent talking about the news, and allowing the students some time to reflect on and
respond to the news, information about the services should be shared.
o Sample:
 “Memorial services for [CHILD’S NAME] will take place at [LOCATION]” on [DATE] at [TIME].”
 “You may or may not want to attend the services for [CHILD’S NAME]. Let’s discuss what typically
happens at different services to prepare you for what may occur.” (If you have information on the
specific arrangements, only discuss what is relevant)
 Visitation: A visitation is a time for family and friends to talk with [CHILD’S NAME] family.
Visitations can vary. You may see [CHILD’S NAME] body lying in a casket (for younger
children, describe a casket as a long rectangular box where a body is placed to be buried).
It’s also possible that there might only be pictures of [CHILD’S NAME]. You could also see a
combination of both a casket and pictures. During the visitation, some families choose to
have the casket open and others choose to have it closed. If you attend the visitation, you
can choose if you want to approach the casket. There may be pictures or videos of [CHILD’S
NAME] in the room. Many people will walk around the room spending time looking at all of
the pictures. People will come and go during a visitation. Generally, people do not stay the
entire time. You may want to stay for a brief time or you may wish to stay longer and walk
around the room looking at pictures or talking to people.
20



Cremation and Urn: Sometimes people choose to be cremated rather than buried after they
die. Cremation is when the deceased body is placed in a casket or container and then taken
to a place called a crematorium. Since the person is dead, they do not feel any pain. The
body is placed in a room that is really hot and then it is reduced to soft, fine particles like
grey sand. The remains/sand is then usually placed in an urn. An urn is a vase which usually
has a lid and it holds the remains of the deceased, cremated body.
Funeral/Memorial Service: A funeral is a service that people attend to honor a loved one
who has died. Funerals vary depending on the family’s choices for the services. Frequently,
funeral services include music, prayer, a speech presented by an adult leading the funeral,
and/or a talk by a family member or friend. At the end of a funeral, it is common for people
to walk by the casket and the family members to say a final goodbye before they leave. If
that feels uncomfortable, you can choose to leave without walking by the casket. A
memorial service is held without the remains present. An example of why remains might not
be available is if the body was donated to science. The memorial service is usually held
within a week of the death; however, it could be postponed due to family convenience.
Memorial services are generally more informal and more interactive than a funeral.
Graveside burial: After the funeral service is over, family and close friends may drive to the
cemetery where [CHILD’S NAME] will be buried. Generally, the group of people that attend
the graveside burial is much smaller than the group that attends the funeral. Those who
drive to the cemetery will receive a flag to place on their car. All of the cars with flags will be
led by a police officer and will follow each other to the cemetery. The service at the
graveside is generally short. The casket will be lowered into the ground after family and
friends leave the graveside.
o “What questions do you have about the services for [CHILD’S NAME]?”
Activity:
 Once the key information has been discussed, it can be helpful to incorporate an activity, such as reading a story
with the students and/or doing an activity such as Short Term Lesson Plan: Emotions/Memories Poster Board
(found in appendix).
 This activity can also be used to generate some additional discussion.
Wrap-up/Closure:
 It is important that when you leave, the students and teacher are provided with an activity to help transition
following your departure (this helps to avoid an abrupt transition back into the school day). Consider starting the
following activity upon your departure:
o Sample:
 “As we wrap-up our visit, we want to give you an additional opportunity to share your thoughts,
feelings, or memories. Before we leave, we are going to distribute an activity that will help with
this (distribute Reference 7.3/7.4 Reflection Activity). Does anyone have any other final thoughts
or questions that they would like to share?”
 “Some people may not want to continue with their regular classroom work at this time. If you
need time away from the classroom, other members of the support team will be available in the
[LOCATION] to offer you additional support. For those of you who would like to remain in your
class and continue with regular work, please be aware that there are adults who will be
available for additional support.”
 Details regarding additional support:
o Location: ___________________________________________________
o Time: ______________________________________________________
o Leader Names: ______________________________________________
21
Reference 7.2 – Classroom Information Worksheet (School Staff)
Introduction:
“Hi, my name is [NAME] and I am [TITLE]. I am a member of a support group that helps schools cope with difficult
situations. I am here to give you some sad news about [CHILD’S NAME]. [CHILD’S NAME] died on [DAY], [DATE], at
[TIME], [PLACE].”
“Hearing this information may cause you to feel a variety of emotions including sadness, anger, confusion, and other
feelings. People express these emotions in different ways. Some people cry, some do not. Some people want to talk
about it, others do not. Some people want to be alone, and other people want to be with their friends or family. Any
emotions you may or may not be feeling are OK. We do, however, encourage you to talk to a parent or caregiver about
this news when you go home.”
Arrangements/Services:
Additional Information to be shared:
“People sometimes want to do something to remember a person who has died. Some ideas may include:




Send a card to the family
Create a poster of memories you have shared with [CHILD’S NAME]
Plant a tree in memory of [CHILD’S NAME]
What other ideas do you have? (List children’s ideas on the back of this paper and give it to school
counselor)
You may or may not want to attend the services for [CHILD’S NAME]. Let’s discuss what typically happens at different
services to prepare you for what may occur” (If you have information on the specific arrangements, only discuss what is
relevant).

Visitation: A visitation is a time for family and friends to talk with [CHILD’S NAME] family.
Visitations can vary. You may see [CHILD’S NAME] body lying in a casket (for younger children,
describe a casket as a long rectangular box where a body is placed to be buried). It’s also
possible that there might only be pictures of [CHILD’S NAME]. You could also see a combination
of both a casket and pictures. During the visitation, some families choose to have the casket
open and others choose to have it closed. If you attend the visitation, you can choose if you
want to approach the casket. There may be pictures or videos of [CHILD’S NAME] in the room.
Many people will walk around the room spending time looking at all of the pictures. People will
come and go during a visitation. Generally people do not stay the entire time. You may want to
stay for a brief time or you may wish to stay longer and walk around the room looking at
pictures or talking to people.
22



Cremation and Urn: Sometimes people choose to be cremated rather than buried after they
die. Cremation is when the deceased body is placed in a casket or container and then taken to a
place called a crematorium. Since the person is dead, they do not feel any pain. The body is
placed in a room that is really hot and then it is reduced to soft, fine particles like grey sand.
The remains/sand is then usually placed in an urn. An urn is a vase which usually has a lid and it
holds the remains of the deceased, cremated body.
Funeral/Memorial Service: A funeral is a service that people attend to honor a loved one who
has died. Funerals vary depending on the family’s choices for the services. Frequently, funeral
services include music, prayer, a speech presented by an adult leading the funeral, and/or a talk
by a family member or friend. At the end of a funeral, it is common for people to walk by the
casket and the family members to say a final goodbye before they leave. If that feels
uncomfortable, you can choose to leave without walking by the casket. A memorial service is
held without the remains present. An example of why remains might not be available is if the
body was donated to science. The memorial service is usually held within a week of the death;
however, it could be postponed due to family convenience. Memorial services are generally
more informal and more interactive than a funeral.
Graveside burial: After the funeral service is over, family and close friends may drive to the
cemetery where [CHILD’S NAME] will be buried. Generally, the group of people that attend the
graveside burial is much smaller than the group that attends the funeral. Those who drive to the
cemetery will receive a flag to place on their car. All of the cars with flags will be led by a police
officer and will follow each other to the cemetery. The service at the graveside is generally
short. The casket will be lowered into the ground after family and friends leave the graveside.
“We want to give you a few moments to ask questions or share your thoughts, feelings, or memories. We are going to
distribute an activity that will help us in our discussion (distribute Reference 7.3/7.4 Reflection Activity). Does anyone
have a question or something you would like to say?” (Pause to give the students time to talk).
*This would be a good time for the teacher to have a memory or thought prepared in case the students are reluctant to
share. Also, listed below are ideas to prompt discussion with the students:




Is there anything that you really enjoyed doing with [CHILD’S NAME]?
Does anyone remember something funny that [CHILD’S NAME] did?
What did [CHILD’S NAME] enjoy doing either at school or out of school?
What were some of [CHILD’S NAME] favorite things?
Additional support provided for students:
“Some people may not want to continue with their regular classroom work at this time. If you need time away from the
classroom, other members of the support team will be available in the [LOCATION] to offer you additional support. For
those of you who would like to remain in your class and continue with regular work, please be aware that there are
adults who will be available for additional support.” (Provide details on times and locations support will be available).
Details regarding additional support:
Location: ______________________________________________
Time: _________________________________________________
Leader Names: _________________________________________
23
Reference 7.3 – Reflection Activity (Elementary)
Complete the following questions by drawing a picture or writing your answers.
1. When you experience a death, you may have lots of different feelings. What are some feelings that you
may have or experience when someone you love dies? What are some of the feelings that you are
experiencing today?
2. Sharing memories and telling stories is one way of coping with our feelings. Is there a favorite memory
or activity that you shared with your classmate who has died that will always be a fond memory?
24
Reference 7.4 – Reflection Activity (Secondary)
Complete the following questions. You will have an opportunity to share your answers with your classmates. If
you do not want to share your answers with the class, you can keep them private.
1. When you experience a loss, you may feel lots of different emotions. What are some of the emotions
that you may feel when you lose someone you love? What are some of the emotions that you are
feeling today with the loss of your classmate?
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
2. Sharing memories and telling stories is one way of coping with our emotions. Is there a favorite
memory or activity that you shared with your classmate who has died that will always be a fond
memory?
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
3. When you experience a loss, it is helpful to remember what makes you feel safe and happy. List places
and/or people that help you feel this way:
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
25
4. What are some things that your classmate enjoyed or that made your classmate happy?
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
5. It is normal to feel grief and sadness long after the death of someone that you care about. Finding
special ways to remember that person can be comforting. List some ways that you and your school
community can memorialize or remember your classmate:
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
6. List any other thoughts you would like to mention during the classroom discussion:
____________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________
When you experience loss or death in your life, it is helpful to know the people and places that can provide comfort.
If you need help identifying these resources, please notify your school counselor, parent,
or a member of the Crisis Intervention Team.
26
Reference 7.5 – Additional Support for Students
Ideas for students who seek additional support:

Designate a location for students to go for additional support. This location should be discussed and chosen
during the school administration meeting and the information given to the students during the classroom
information session. Be sure to have staff available and prepared to meet individually or in small groups with
the students.

Have a sign-in sheet so you can keep track of students who come for additional support.

Utilize the classroom information worksheet to prompt ideas for discussion.

Offer creative stations for students to express their emotions. Examples include:
o
o
o
o

Letter writing station. Students write letters to the deceased student.
Drawing station. Students can draw pictures of memories of the deceased student or of comforting
feelings.
Card making station. Students make cards to be given to the family of the deceased student.
Poster board station. Students write or draw memories or words that remind them of the deceased
student on sticky notes. The sticky notes are then placed on a poster board which will be taken to
the funeral home for the services.
Take note of any alarming or disturbing conversation which may take place with/among the students.
Report these instances during the follow-up meeting with the staff and Crisis Intervention Team members.
27
Section 8.0 – Follow-Up Meeting
The purpose of this section is to guide discussion for the final meeting of the day with the Administrators, the
Crisis Team Members, and Teachers. During this meeting, the Chaplain and School Intervention Specialist will
debrief with the school staff to discuss the events of the intervention visit and to discuss any additional plans
for short-term and long-term support.

The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will reconvene with the Crisis Intervention Team Members
and School Administration

The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will complete Reference 8.1 Follow Up Plan Worksheet

The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will lead a discussion about the crisis team members’
thoughts and emotions from the day

The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will review and list any alarming
questions/comments/behaviors from students
o The team should create a plan of action and add this plan to the Reference 8.1 Follow Up Plan
Worksheet, which will be distributed to the School Administrator at the conclusion of the meeting

The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will discuss ideas to provide short-term and long-term
support to the family
o This can include a discussion of ideas to provide continued support to the school community; these
ideas should be added to the Reference 8.1 Follow Up Plan Worksheet

The team should also discuss ideas for memorializing the deceased student
o These ideas can be added to the Reference 8.1 Follow Up Plan Worksheet
o The Memorializing Activities worksheet can also be used to facilitate this discussion (this worksheet
is located in the appendix)

The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will encourage the school team to discuss plans for coverage
for school personnel who will be attending the funeral

The School Intervention Specialist and Chaplain will request that the school make a copy of the finalized
Reference 8.1 Follow Up Plan Worksheet
o The School Intervention Specialist/Chaplain will retain one copy and will provide a second copy to
the School Administrator
28
Reference 8.1 – Follow-up Plan Worksheet
1. List any concerns and/or alarming issues that emerged during the day:
2. Outline a plan of action to address any concerns and issues. This plan should include interventions
needed and the individual responsible for facilitating each intervention:
Concern/Issue
Intervention
Individual responsible
Date
3. List ideas to provide support to the family (both short and long term):
Recipient of Support
Family
School Community
Description of Support
Facilitator of Support
Date
4. List ideas to provide continued support to the school community:
5. List ideas for memorializing (desk, locker, yearbook, planting a tree, etc.)
a.
b.
6. Identify school personnel who plan to attend the funeral, and subsequently plan for their coverage:
Staff Member Attending Funeral
Staff Member Covering
29
Appendix
SCSP Flowchart
31
SCSP Tool Kit
32
33
35
37
38
39
42
45
Ideas For Self-Care
46
47
48
49
55
30
31
Receive notification
that the patient is
terminal, dying, or has
died
School Intervention
Specialist/Chaplain
conducts meeting with
school administration,
Crisis Intervention Team,
and teachers
Determine most
appropriate team
member to contact
family
NO
Is the patient
living?
YES
Determine most
appropriate team
member to contact
family
In collaboration with school
personnel, School
Intervention
Specialist/Chaplain meets
with students
Contact family using
script for a d
Call school to
introduce
comprehensive
intervention
Contact family using
script for a patient
that is still living
School Crisis Support Plan Flowchart
School Intervention
Specialist conducts followup meeting and provides
school personnel with
resources
Provide basic
information about the
death and send
resource packets
NO
Is school
interested in
full support?
YES
School Intervention
Specialist prepares
documents and
school activity kits
SCSP Tool Kit
It is helpful to have materials prepared in advance and ready to take to any school to help facilitate a quick
response. The following list are suggested items to have in easily assessible grab-and-go bags. Having four or
five bags ready to go can help ease anxiety and accelerate the process.
Fidget Toys/Activities: These items are especially helpful for younger students to give their hands something to do
during the conversation. Additionally, these items are useful in the smaller sessions for students who want to meet for
additional support.





Pipe cleaners
Brain Noodles
Squeeze (stress) balls
Therapy Putty
Modeling Clay
Reflective/Memory Making: These items can be used in the classroom to help guide the students in reflecting on their
emotions and memories of their classmate. They can also be used with the students who meet for additional support.
For activity suggestions that incorporate these supplies, please see the Family Letters and Emotions/Memories Poster
Board lesson plans in the appendix.




Colored paper/construction paper
Markers/Crayons
Colored Post-it Notes
Poster board/presentation board
Reference and Appendix Items: The following items from the workbook can be copied and placed in a folder as well as
saved on a flash drive to be given to the school. Place the documents that will be used during the school visit in one
folder pocket and the reference and follow-up items to leave with the school in the other pocket.

















Reference 4.2 School Visit Schedule
Reference 5.1 School Administration Meeting Agenda
Reference 6.1 Crisis Intervention Team and Teacher Meeting Agenda
Reference 7.2 Classroom Information Worksheet for School Staff
Reference 7.3 or 7.4 Reflection Activity for Students
Reference 7.5 Additional Support for Students
Reference 8.1 - Follow-up Plan Worksheet
Navigating Children’s Grief/Profiles of Children’s Grieving Styles
Suggested Books about Death/Loss
Ideas for Self-Care
Short and Long-Term Lesson Plans
32
Navigating Children’s Grief: How to Help Following a Death
33
34
This tip sheet can be used either to facilitate a class discussion regarding the varying ways people
grieve or as a personal resource to assist you in responding to grieving students.
Intense Reactions
Students with intense reactions may exhibit their grief through emotions that can be extreme. For example, loud
crying, laughter, screaming, etc. Be aware that these students may or may not have been close friends with the
deceased student. Extreme reactions from students who were not close friends to the deceased may cause
issues for students who were closer friends.
Tips
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If students with intense reactions continue with their emotional reaction in front of the
other students, create a one-on-one environment for this student with a Crisis
Intervention Team member. Within this one on one discussion, address his/her
questions and concerns. Provide him/her with some examples of positive outlets for
grief (making a card, writing a letter, journaling, drawing, listening to music, etc.).
Encourage the student to engage in an activity during the discussion.
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Call the parents of these students to share the extreme reaction witnessed at school.
Quiet Reactions
Students who experience quiet reactions may include those who sit alone, those who do not participate in
memorializing activities, and/or those who are visibly upset but do not want to discuss their grief.
Tips
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Initiate a discussion with these students in a one-on-one setting. Begin by asking the
student open ended questions, such as, “What is a favorite memory you have of
(deceased student’s name)? How did you know (deceased student’s name)? What are
some ways you would like to remember (deceased student’s name)?” Many times these
conversations are most effective simultaneous to an activity, such as creating a card or
drawing.
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Offer to provide a space for him/her to complete memorializing activities apart from the
group. Be sure to periodically check in on him/her. He/she may want to talk, but might
not want to discuss anything in front of a group.
Absent Reactions
Students who do not appear to be grieving over the death of their classmate may or may not be experiencing an
internal reaction to the death. Absent reactions can happen with students who did and did not know the
deceased classmate well. These students may prefer to continue on with the typical school day.
Tips
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Provide these students with the option of engaging in the memorializing activities or
returning to normal school day activities. Emphasize that either option is acceptable.
Reach out to these students to reassure that whatever feelings they may or may not be
experiencing are acceptable and normal.
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Layered Reactions
Students who experience emotions related to the current death as well as emotions that are triggered from a
previous loss(es) are having a layered reaction. Examples of the previous loss may be the death of a parent,
sibling, grandparent, pet, or the illness of a family member or friend. These students are not only experiencing
feelings associated with their classmate’s death, but also emotions associated with other loss(es).
Tips
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Provide students experiencing a layered reaction with the opportunity to process
through both the current and past emotions. Ask him/her open ended questions to
learn about both losses. Examples of questions include, “What is a favorite memory you
have of (deceased student’s name/name of other)? How did you know (deceased
student’s name/name of other)? What are some ways you would like to remember
(deceased student’s name/name of other)?” Many times these conversations are most
effective simultaneous to an activity, such as creating a card or drawing a picture.
Ask these students how they coped with their past loss. Discuss ways they can manage
their grief in the midst of the recent death and for the future, such as, talking with a
trusted person, visiting the gravesite, journaling, etc.
Students experiencing a layered reaction may begin to have fears associated with their
own death. Closely listen and acknowledge any anxiety and fears, letting them know
that fear and anxiety are normal responses when thinking about death.
Request the involvement of a chaplain, psychologist or other trained professional to
engage a student experiencing a layered reaction.
Call the parents of these students to discuss the re-emergence of the previous loss
triggered by the current death.
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[DATE]
Dear Parents,
It is with sadness that we inform you of [CHILD’S NAME] death on [DATE]. We are aware that this kind of news will
generate a variety of emotions in our school community. Every effort is being made to support the students and school
personnel during this time.
In tragic times such as this, the [NAME OF SCHOOL DISTRICT] administration invites a Crisis Intervention Team to help
provide support to our staff and students. As a part of the crisis support plan, staff from [ORGANIZATION NAME, e.g.
Cincinnati Children’s Hospital] will join our Crisis Intervention Team on [DATE] to meet with students. The team will
provide details surrounding the death, answer questions and offer support to the students. Follow-up care for students
will be available from [NAME OF SCHOOL SUPPORT], (e.g., school counselor) during the school day. If your child has
additional needs, please feel free to contact [NAME OF SCHOOL SUPPORT] at [CONTACT INFORMATION].
The School Crisis Support Team from [ORGANIZATION] will be sending a follow-up letter providing additional
information and resources for your consideration. As our school community comes together to grieve the death of
[CHILD’S NAME], our staff is available to provide support to you and your students. If you have any questions please
contact [NAME] at [CONTACT INFORMATION].
Sincerely,
[NAME OF SCHOOL PRINCIPAL]
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How to talk with your child about death
It is important to talk with your child about the death of his/her classmate and to listen to your child’s concerns.
When speaking about the death, use correct terms such as “death” or “died” instead of vague terms such as
“lost,” “passed away,” or “gone.”
It is helpful to discuss the following 4 basic concepts about death:
 Death is irreversible. This concept helps children understand that death is permanent.
 All life functions end completely at the time of death. This concept helps children to understand that
their classmate is no longer in pain.
 Everything that is alive eventually dies. This concept helps children understand death instead of having
misconceptions that their classmate did something wrong.
 There are physical reasons someone dies. This concept helps children understand the real reason
someone dies and prevents them from coming up with explanations that can cause guilt or shame.
Grief is a process; thus, be sure to check in frequently with your child to see how he/she is coping.
How to talk with your child about the funeral, visitation and memorial service:
It is important that children have the opportunity to attend services, regardless of their age. Prior to attending
the service, it is helpful to provide your child with an understanding of what to expect. For example, explain
what is going to happen at the service, who will be at the service, where and when the service will take place,
and the purpose of the service. Be sure to answer your child’s questions as openly and honestly as you can.
Invite your child to attend; you should avoid forcing your child to attend, and instead, let your child make the
decision as to whether or not he/she will attend.
Attend the service with your child. If you absolutely cannot attend, find another adult to be with your child. At
the service, allow your child the opportunity to make decisions about where he/she would like to sit, how long
he/she would like to stay, whether they want to get in line to walk by the casket, etc.
Check in with your child after the service. Offer comfort and love. Ask your child what he/she thought of the
service, and if he/she has thoughts or feelings he/she would like to discuss.
Additional Resources:
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Children’s Grief Education Association: www.childgrief.org
The National Center for Grieving Children & Families (Dougy Center): www.dougy.org
National Alliance For Grieving Children: www.childrengrieve.org
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Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Bereavement
Contact Person: Jan Borgman
Address: 3333 Burnet Avenue, Cincinnati, Ohio 45229 MLC 5022
Phone number: 513-636-0069
Website: www.cincinnatichildrens.org/service/p/pastoral-care/bereavement/default/
Email: [email protected]
Summary of services: The bereavement program at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital offers support to family, friends
and others connected with the death of one of their patients. This program is helpful in providing support as well as
connecting others to support groups and activities throughout the community.
Cancer Family Care
Address: 2421 Auburn Avenue, Cincinnati, OH 45219
Website: www.cancerfamilycare.org
Summary of services: Cancer Family Care offers support to the family and friends of those who are dealing with
cancer. They are specifically trained in oncology social work, counseling, and grief and bereavement services.
Fernside
Address: 4360 Cooper Road, Suite 100, Cincinnati, Ohio 45242
Phone number: (513) 246-9140
Website: www.fernside.org
Summary of services: A place of comfort and support for children and teens, ages 3-18, and their families who have
had a significant death in the family. Fernside provides grief support and outreach and education to the community.
They collaborate with schools – elementary, junior high and high schools – to provide on-site grief support for
grieving students.
Companions on A Journey
Contact Person: Sheila Munafo-Kanoza
Address: 5475 Creek Bend Drive, West Chester Ohio, 45069
Phone number: 513-870-9108 or 513-755-9433
Website: www.companionsonajourney.org
Email Address: [email protected]
Summary of services: Companions on a Journey Grief Support, Inc. is a faith based non-profit social service
organization that reaches out to those who grieve, educate those who do not understand, and offer grief support to
individuals, schools, businesses and organizations. They service the West Chester and Liberty Township Ohio area, as
well as the Tri-State.
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Compassionate Friends
Cincinnati North Group: Karen (513) 336-8959; [email protected]; www.tcfcincinnatinorth.org
Cincinnati East Group: Lindsey (513) 652-7470; [email protected]; www.tcfcincy.com
Cincinnati West Group: Michael (513) 205-8291; [email protected]; www.tcfcincinnatiwest.org
Website: www.compassionatefriends.org
Summary of services: The Compassionate Friends provides highly personal comfort, hope, and support to every
family experiencing the death of a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, or a grandchild, and helps others better
assist the grieving family.
STARS
Contact Person: James Ellis
Summary of services: A support group for any school age child and their caregiver who has experienced the death of
a loved one. This program is offered as a semester series during the school year. Series begin in September and
January, 6:30-8:00 pm at Gloria Dei Lutheran Church, Crestview Hills, Kentucky.
National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement
Contact Person: David Schonfeld, MD
Address: National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement, USC University of Southern California
Phone number: 877.536.2722
Website: https://sowkweb.usc.edu/about/centers-affiliations/national-center-school-crisis-and-bereavement
Summary of services: The National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement Center was created to promote an
appreciation of the role schools can serve to support students, staff and families at times of crisis and loss,
enhance the training of individuals in school-related professional education programs in the areas of crisis and loss,
and serve as a resource for information, training materials, consultation and technical assistance for school
systems.
Creatively Speaking for Children
Contact Person: Michelle Williams
Address: Hospice of the Blue Grass, Northern Kentucky, 7388 Turfway Road, Florence, KY 41042
Summary: A Saturday afternoon art therapy workshop for families designed to facilitate feeling identification and
expression
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Mending Hearts
Address: St. Maximilian Kolbe Parish, 5720 Hamilton-Mason Road, Liberty Township, OH
Phone number: (513) 870-9108
Summary: Provides peer support for children experiencing a loss due to the death of a loved one.
National Alliance for Grieving Children
Contact Person: Andy McNiel, Executive Director
Address: P.O. Box 2373, Stuart, Florida 34995
Phone Number: 866-432-1542
Website: http://childrengrieve.org/
Summary of Services: The National Alliance for Grieving Children (NAGC) provides a network for nationwide
communication between hundreds of children's bereavement support professionals and volunteers who want to
share ideas, information and resources with each other to better support the families they serve in their own
communities. Through this network, the NAGC offers online education, hosts an annual symposium on children's
grief, maintains a national data base of children's bereavement support programs and promotes national awareness
to enhance public sensitivity to the issues impacting grieving children and teens.
Coalition to Support Grieving Students
Website: www.grievingstudents.org
Phone number: (877) 536-2722
Summary: The Coalition’s purpose is to create and share a set of industry-endorsed resources that will empower
school communities across America in the ongoing support of their grieving students. The website provides
practical, accessible information for classroom educators, principals, administrators and student support personnel.
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Suggested Books about Death/Loss
Children
I Miss You: A First Look at Death
Author: Pat Thomas
Summary: This picture book explores the difficult issue of death for young children. Children’s feelings and questions
about this sensitive subject are looked at in a simple but realistic way. This book helps them to understand their loss
and to come to terms with their feelings.
Help Me Say Goodbye
Author: Janis Silverman
Summary: This is an art therapy book that encourages children to express their feelings in words or pictures. It helps
them think about what to say and do, how to deal with their feelings, and how to remember their special friend or
relative.
The Butterfly Field
Author: Alquin Gliane
Summary: This is a book about a boy who finds meaning and comfort after his beloved grandfather’s death.
Gentle Willow: A Story for Children About Dying
Author: Joyce C. Mills
Summary: This is a book for children who may not survive their illness. This comforting story about a tender-spirited
tree and her friends in the forest will also help all children with the death of friends, family members, or even pets.
Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children
Author: Brand Mellonie and Robert Ingpen
Summary: This book helps explain life and death in a sensitive, caring, beautiful way. It tells about beginnings, about
endings, and about living in between.
Someone I Love Died
Author: Christine Harder Tangvald
Summary: This book is just for kids and contains words to help them understand their loss, answers questions about
Heaven, and illustrations to guide them through this difficult time. Note: This is written from a Christian tradition.
When Someone Dies
Author: Sharon Greenlee
Summary: This book offers help in dealing with the confusion and hurt felt by grieving children and adults. It
includes suggestions for surviving the changes and remembering the good times in order to help transform sorrow
into comfort.
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I Had A Friend Named Peter: Talking to Children About the Death of a Friend
Author: Janice Cohn
Summary: In this sensitive story, a girl learns of the sudden death of her friend Peter. The book discusses certain
guidelines from experts that answer the questions parents and teacher may have about talking to children about
death.
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf
Author: Leo Buscaglia
Summary: Using the story of a leaf, this book is an inspiring allegory illustrating the delicate balance between life
and death.
Teenagers:
When a Friend Dies: a book for teens about grieving and healing
Author: Marilyn Gootman
Summary: This is a wonderful book that speaks directly to anyone who has suffered the loss of a friend. Also for
parents and teachers who work with a teen.
Straight Talk about Death for Teenagers:How to Cope with Losing Someone You Love
Author: Earl A. Grollman
Summary: This book explains what to expect when you lose someone you love.
Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens:100 Practical Ideas
Author: Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D
Summary: Simple tips for understanding and expressing your grief.
The Grieving Teen: A guide for teenagers and their friends
Author: Helen Fitzgerald
Summary: This is a guide for teens from everything from the sickbed to the funeral, from the first day back to school
to the first anniversary of the death. She lets teens know they are not alone.
Grief Girl, my true story
Author: Eric Vincent
Summary: A beautiful story told in diary form over a five year period told by the author of when her parents were
both killed while crossing the street. Begins with the phone call and goes through her next few years of trials and
tribulations.
Fire In My Heart, Ice In My Veins: A Journal for Teenagers
Website: www.fireinmyheartjournal.com
Summary: A journal where teens can write letters, copy down meaningful lyrics, write songs and poems, tell the
person who died what they want them to know, finish business and use their creativity to work through the grieving
process. There is also a website designed to let you share your stories, illustrations, help items and other
information that you share in the journal “Fire In My Heart, Ice In My Veins” in an online anonymous environment.
I Will Remember You: What To Do When Someone You Love Dies
Author: L. Dower
Summary: This is a guidebook through grief for teens.
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Teen Websites:
http://www.griefencounter.org.uk/young-people
Summary: This website includes a downloadable Grief Guide for Teenagers as well as the following resources: Top
10 Playlist for Good Grief Days, Top 10 Books, Top 10 Tips from a Bereaved Young Person, resources for talking to
someone and e-counseling.
Teen YouTube:
Teens Talk Grief:
Summary: Grieving teens share their stories and talk about what helped as they journeyed
through the grief of losing someone close to them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z252Us-ukFE
Adults:
The Books of Compassion Press
Address: 7036 State Highway 80 South, Burnsville, NC 28714
Website: www.compassionbooks.com
Summary: A web resource for more than 400 books, videos, and audios to help children and adults through serious
illness, death and dying, grief, bereavement, and losses of all kinds, including divorce, suicide, trauma, sudden loss,
and violence.
Living with Loss Magazine
Website: www.bereavementmag.com
Summary: Featuring articles, stories, poems, resources and products from traditional and alternative perspectives
that address the issue of living with loss associated with death, terminal illness, cancer, jobs, natural disasters,
finances, divorce, mental health and physical challenges, ecumenical faith and spirituality, pet loss and military loss.
Their mission is to offer compassion and hope with the most current resources, information and tools for coping
with life’s losses.
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Dear Faculty and Staff,
It is with sadness that I write to inform you of the death of one of our students. [CHILD’S NAME] died on [DATE] at
[PLACE]. Our School Crisis Intervention Team has been called and will be helping our students and school personnel as
we grieve this tragic loss.
On [DATE, TIME, PLACE] we will have a mandatory staff meeting. During this meeting, we will discuss further details
about the plan to care for our community including the supportive measures put in place for our students, staff and
family of [CHILD’S NAME]. On [DATE OF MEETING] you will receive specific details such as how the information will be
shared with the community. This meeting will also provide an opportunity for staff to ask questions and to begin
processing this tragedy with colleagues. If students ask you about [CHILD’S NAME] before this meeting, acknowledge
that the death has occurred but refrain from discussing the details. Rather, let the students know that the school staff
will provide information to everyone in the near future. If a student appears to be in crisis or having difficulty, refer that
student to [NAME OF SCHOOL COUNSELOR].
We expect that there will be a variety of reactions to [CHILD’S NAME] death. Please be patient with our students and
your colleagues as the grieving process and range of emotions vary greatly between individuals. During this difficult
time, consider utilizing the resources that are available, such as [NAME OF SCHOOL COUNSELOR/CRISIS INTERVENTION
TEAM/OTHER RESOURCE] to assist you with this difficult time.
Thank you for the care that you gave to [CHILD’S NAME] as well as the care you will continue to provide to the students.
If you have questions, please feel free to contact [NAME OF PRINCIPAL OR CRISIS TEAM COORDINATOR].
Mandatory Staff Meeting
Time:
Date:
Location:
Sincerely,
[Name of Principal]
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Ideas for Self-Care
The death of a student can be overwhelming not only for the students but also for the school staff. This can be
a difficult time for school staff as they are often dealing with their own grief while supporting students at the
same time. Taking care of yourself is important, especially when you are taking care of others. Listed below are
suggestions for self-care.
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Identify a support person to process the event/emotions
Take a nice long walk
Journal your thoughts/prayers
Meditate
Go see a movie and eat popcorn
Schedule quality time with a friend or significant other
Spend time with your family
Practice a new breathing technique (3 slow, deep breaths)
Take a nap
Take a bubble bath
Ask a friend for a hug
Participate in an art activity
Doodle
Exercise
Develop a meditation practice
Go on a picnic
Ride a bike
Listen to music
Eat a meal by candlelight
Garden
Play with a child
Begin a gratitude practice by listing 5 things you are grateful for each day
Go for a jog/run
Pet a dog/cat
Go cloud-watching: Lay on your back, relax and watch the sky
Practice mindfulness moments (being in the moment) throughout the day
Tickle a baby
Lay on a blanket and gaze at the stars
Read a story
Watch a ballet
Dance to your favorite music
Sit outdoors by a fire-pit, watching the flames and listening to the night sounds
Pray/Practice your faith
Seek out professional help for extra support
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It can be meaningful for a school community to plan one or more activities in memory of the deceased student.
Below are several creative suggestions for memorializing activities:
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Memorial Fundraiser
T-shirts honoring child
Plant a tree
Decorate locker or desk
Moment of silence at a school function
o Examples:
 Athletic Event
 Academic Event
Name something in the school in honor of the child
o Child’s name on a plaque and placed on a bench
Create an album
Name a star
Memorial garden
Stepping stone/rock
Scholarship fund in the deceased’s name
Volunteer time or funds to the designated charity the family has chosen
Work with the family to create a memorial website for people to post pictures, stories, etc.
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For classrooms that have used the Monkey in My Chair (MIMC) program, a frequent question asked by
students and staff is what to do with the monkey after a classmate has died. It is helpful for a class to discuss
their thoughts and feelings about the monkey and to be part of the decision about what will happen to the
monkey. Listed below are some suggestions to consider. If the decision is to keep the monkey in the classroom,
it will be important to have discussions about when and where to move it. There is no time limit that is best,
but continued conversations about it will be helpful as students grieve, heal, and move on.
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Have a discussion with the class to determine what the majority of the children want to do with the monkey:
o How long do they want to keep it in the classroom?
o Do they want to change the location of the monkey from the student’s desk to a different area of the
classroom?
o Do they want to give the monkey to the family? If so, when?
Suggestions for keeping the monkey in the room:
o Have a conversation with the class to select a location for the monkey and backpack
 Determine whether the monkey should remain in the student’s chair or if moving it to another
location in the room might be more appropriate
o Have supplies available for the students to draw pictures, write letters, and/or write thoughts during
times when they are thinking about their peer. If they choose to, they can place these items into the
monkey’s backpack.
o Schedule a time for the class to work on an activity; sample activities may include having the students:
 Create cards for the family
 Use sticky notes to write down memories or thoughts about their classmate (these notes can
then be attached to a large poster, which can be displayed at the visitation or funeral, if
appropriate)
 Draw a picture or writing a letter of a memory or fun time with the student
 Take a picture of the class with the monkey. This can be framed for the family, taken to the
visitation/funeral, or made into a card that can be sent to the family at a later date
 Plan a fundraiser that the monkey will attend. The backpack can be used to store the donations
or other items. The money can be given to an organization that the family chooses or to a fund
set up by the family.
 Have t-shirts made that honor the child. Select a day when the class will all wear the shirts.
Make sure to have a shirt made for the monkey to be worn that same day. A picture can be
taken of the class and monkey wearing the t-shirts. The picture can be sent to the family.
o Choose a future date that you will discuss as a class if you want the monkey to remain in the room or
not.
 If the class chooses to have the monkey remain in the classroom, be sure to revisit the issue
periodically.
 If they feel ready to remove the monkey from the classroom, help the class choose where they
would like for it to go.
Suggestions for giving the monkey to the family:
o Take a picture of the class with the monkey to include in the backpack when returning the monkey to
the family.
o Have students write a note, color a picture, or sign a card to include in the backpack.
o If the students decide to give the monkey to the family immediately, this can be done prior to the
funeral so the family has the option to display the monkey at the funeral/visitation.
o It is best to have one or two people return the monkey to the family as it may be overwhelming to have
multiple visitors.
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Emotions/Memories Poster Board
Lesson Focus:
Coping with feelings of grief after the death of a classmate
Rationale:
To encourage children in exploring feelings they are experiencing. Evoke positive memories of the deceased classmate
and provide a supportive gesture to the family of the deceased student.
Materials/Preparation for Teaching:
 Decorative post-it notes or notecards (up to 6 for each student)
 Markers, crayons, colored pencils, pens
 2 Large display boards (e.g. science fair poster board) or poster board
o Label one of them “Emotions”
o Label the other one “Memories”
 Chart paper
Mini-lesson: (10 Minutes)
Teaching Point: Students will talk about the variety of feelings one might experience after a death of someone they
know and the ways of coping with those feelings and emotions.
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Read a children’s book that deals with emotions/memories to introduce concept
(I Miss You: A Look at Death by Pat Thomas)
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Conduct a discussion with the students about the variety of feelings one might experience after a death
of someone they know
 Ask students to think of adjectives that they may use to describe feelings. List these on the
board/chart paper:
 Sadness, anger, disgust, anxiety, fear, surprise, disappointment, etc.
 Reassure the students that any feelings they are experiencing are okay and that there is no right
or wrong emotion during a death
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Explain that sharing memories and telling stories is one way of coping with your emotions
 Break students into small group and have them brainstorm and share some of their own stories
about the deceased. This provides time for students to think about and remember the student
and encourage conversation.
 Examples for children to consider: favorite game they liked to play, a classroom activity
they participated in with the student, sports or clubs they enjoyed with their classmate,
similar interests, etc.
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Guided Activity:
 Explain the activity to the children:
o Introduce the display boards and what each board represents
o Inform students that they will be selecting up to 6 post-it notes or notecards
o Explain to the students that they can write and/or draw emotions or memories and apply them to the
coinciding display board
Sharing/Reflection:
 Invite students to share about the post-it notes they placed on the board
 Following the sharing session, be sure to explain that their emotions may change with time
 Check in with the students to obtain a sense of their emotional state over the next few weeks
 Share board(s) with family
o A representative from the school can either take the boards to the funeral home for display (prior to
delivery to the funeral home, obtain family’s approval) or arrange a time to deliver to the family
Differentiated Instruction:
 Students can draw their memories or emotions
 Provide pictures that display memories or emotions for students to color and add to the board
 Provide typed out words of emotions that students can paste to the post-it notes or notecards
Follow-Up/Review:
 Teacher suggestion:
o Pay close attention to which portion of the activity the children respond to as this generalized lesson plan is
intended for all ages. Engagement in the activity will allow you to notice which portion of the lesson your
age population responds to
 Alarming items requiring follow up:
o Was this activity particularly upsetting to any of the students?
 If so, ask the student if they would like to follow up with a representative from the school
(counselor, crisis intervention team member, or ask them with whom they feel close enough to talk
to)
o Did any of the responses regarding feelings seem outrageous or alarming?
 If so, request involvement from the school counselor or school psychologist
o Inform the parent of any child that seems particularly upset
 Any future follow up required:
o Assess whether more follow up activities should be conducted in the future
 Situations that might warrant follow-up:
 After the activity, students experienced a difficult transition back to typical school day
 Students seem interested in the concept of the activity, but are not interested in
Emotions/Memories poster board activity. Students may be suggesting a need for
alternative activities
 Situations that might not warrant follow-up:
 Students are not engaged in the activity for the duration of the activity
 Students are eager to move on with alternative activities
 If the situation warrants follow-up, determine when the follow-up would be appropriate and note
this date on your planner as these types of activities are easy to forget in the midst of a busy school
year
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Memorializing an Area for the Student
Lesson Focus:
Rationale:
Students will be encouraged to process their emotions/feelings through a memorializing activity.
Teaching Point: Students will discuss, plan, and create a memorial to remember classmate.
 Read a children’s book that deals with emotions/memories to introduce concept:
(The Invisible String by Patrice Karst)
 Introduce what it means to memorialize a person after death.
o Provide some examples of famous memorials that have been created to remember those who have
passed
o Ask students for examples of any memorials they’ve visited or are aware of
 Discuss why people choose certain locations to memorialize a person.
o Gather ideas on chart paper for reference
 Discuss the reasons why people create these types of memorials and how they decided what to create to
memorialize a person.
o Gather ideas on chart paper for reference
 Explain to students that the class will be creating a site to memorialize the classmate.
Guided Activity:
 Have students brainstorm some suggestions as to where they would like the memorial to be located (or have an
approved list of ideas that students may vote on):
o Possible Suggestions:
 Student’s desk
 Trophy case
 An area in the front office
 A corner in the classroom
 Once students have decided on the location of the memorial, begin brainstorming as a class ideas of things they
could do as individuals that would capture their memories and emotions.
o Possible Suggestions:
 Letters
 Pictures (photos, etc.)
 Drawings
 Words (poetry, stories, quotes, etc.)
 Allow the students to begin to plan, create and decorate the selected area with letters, pictures, drawings,
words, memories, etc.
 If the students do not wish to have their letters or pictures on display, they can place them in the backpack
which will be displayed in the memorial.
 If possible, the students can decorate or paint their classmate’s desk with positive memories (discuss
appropriateness prior to allowing the children to paint or permanently mark on the desk).
51
Sharing/Reflection:
 Once the memorial is complete, decide if the students want to have a class, grade-level, or school wide assembly
to present the memorial.
 Invite students to volunteer to share their contributions during the presentation.
 Approximately one month after the activity, begin a discussion with the students to determine when and if they
want to dismantle the memorial. Resume these discussions on a monthly basis until an appropriate time frame
is determined.
Upon dismantling the memorial, invite students to take meaningful parts of the memorial home.
 Students can draw their memories or emotions.
 Provide pre-drawn pictures that display memories or emotions for students to color and add to the board.
 Provide typed out words of emotions that students can select and paste to the memorial.
 Provide magazines that pictures can be cut from and displayed on memorial.
Follow-Up/Review:
 Teacher suggestion:
o Pay close attention to which portion of the activity the children respond to as this generalized lesson plan is
intended for all ages. Engagement in the activity will allow you to notice which portion of the lesson your
student population responds to.

Alarming items requiring follow-up:
 If so, ask the student if they would like to follow-up with a representative from the school
(counselor, crisis intervention team member, or ask them with whom they feel close enough to talk
to)

Any future follow-up required:
o Assess whether more follow-up activities should be conducted in the future
Emotions/Memories poster board activity. Students may be suggesting the need for
alternative activities
 If the situation warrants follow-up, determine when the follow-up would be appropriate and note
this date on your planner as these types of activities are easy to forget in the midst of a busy school
year
52
Creating Lists
Lesson Focus:
Rationale:
Students will be encouraged to process their emotions/feelings in an effective way and to discuss healthy steps to utilize
their emotions/feeling through the grieving process.
 Copies of a T-chart worksheet – 1 for each student
 Pens/Pencils
 Chart Paper
Teaching Point: Students will understand that everyone grieves in different ways. Some ways are healthy and some are
unhealthy.

Read a children’s book that deals with emotions/memories to introduce concept:
(Tear Soup by Chuck DeKlyen)

Begin by explaining that people grieve in many different ways and that there is no right or wrong feelings
when someone is grieving.

Discuss the fact that people engage in a variety of activities for the duration of the grieving process.
o What are some healthy and unhealthy ways of dealing with grief?


Ask students to “Turn and talk” to their partner(s) and jot down some ideas
After students have had time to discuss their thoughts, bring them back for a classroom
discussion and time to share their ideas

Discuss healthy versus unhealthy ways of dealing with grief
 Write these ideas on large, chart paper so that all of the students can contribute and clearly
see everyone’s ideas
Explain that there are MANY other ways that people grieve in a healthy manner and that you would
like to compile a list of ideas generated from the students in hopes to assist their peers with some
positive ideas/actions

Guided Activity:

Distribute a T-chart worksheet to the students. Using the T-chart, ask students to list the healthy ways in
which people grieve on the left side of the chart and use the other side of the chart to list the unhealthy
ways in which some people grieve

Explain to the students that they will be given the opportunity to share their answers, only if they would like
to share them

Also, explain to them that the worksheets will be collected and some of the healthy suggestions to grieve
will be compiled into one list
o Only certain information from each individual worksheet will be included in the overall list, excluding
personal/confidential information
o The information will then be re-distributed to the entire classroom
o To promote confidentiality, be sure the students know that they do not have to write their name on the
worksheet
53
Sharing/Reflection:

A couple days later, present the gathered information to the students and distribute a copy of the compiled
list. Emphasize the healthy approach to grieving and remind students how to seek help if they or a friend is
grieving in an unhealthy way
 Depending on the needs of the students in your classroom, consider any required modifications/adaptations
o Student completes worksheet with a peer or in a group
o Teacher or another student scribes answers
o Teacher creates multiple choice answers for student to choose from and circle
o Student draws pictures for each example
Follow-Up/Review:

Teacher suggestion:
o Pay close attention to which portion of the activity the children respond to as this generalized lesson
plan is intended for all ages. Engagement in the activity will allow you to notice which portion of the
lesson your student population responds to

 If so, ask the student if they would like to follow-up with a representative from the school
(counselor, crisis intervention team member, or ask them with whom they feel close enough to
talk to)

creating list. Students may be suggesting a need for alternative activities
 If the situation warrants follow-up, determine when the follow-up would be appropriate and
note this date on your planner as these types of activities are easy to forget in the midst of a
busy school year
54
Beaded Bracelets
Lesson Focus:
Rationale:
To assist the students in exploring the feelings they are experiencing one month (or more) after the death of their
classmate.
 Bead stringing wire (or other bracelet/necklace string)
 Variety of colorful beads appropriate for both males/females
 Jewelry clasps
 Chart Paper
Teaching Point: Students will explore feelings they may have experienced or feelings others might experience after the
death of a friend, relative, classmate, pet, etc.
 In small groups give students time to brainstorm the positive and negative feelings one might experience after
the death of a friend, relative, classmate, pet, etc.
Create a T-chart and write their responses on the board or chart paper so they can refer back to them later in
the activity
Positive Feelings Experienced After Death
 Love
 Appreciation
 Happiness
 Hope
 Enthusiasm
 Confidence
 Optimism
 Trust
Negative Feelings Experienced After Death
 Sadness
 Anger
 Lack of Motivation
 Anxiety
 Fear
 Guilt
 Jealousy
 Self-Pity
Shame
Guided Activity:
 Distribute materials to students
 Have the children pick one of the negative feelings they experienced the most in reference to the deceased
o Allow students to pick a bead which represents/relates to that feeling
 Request that the children pick two positive feelings they experienced or would like to experience in the near
future
o Allow students to pick two beads which represent/relate to those feelings
 Have the children place one of the positive beads on the string, followed by the negative bead, and finally, the
other positive bead, then attach the jewelry clasps
55
Sharing/Reflection:
 Ask students:
o What made you choose those specific beads to represent your negative/positive feelings?
Turn and talk to a neighbor (e.g. did the color, shape, etc. represent something to you)
 Why would we choose one negative bead and two positive beads to put on our bracelet?
 Why do you think we put the “negative” bead in-between the two “positive” beads?
 Is it okay to feel negative emotions related to death? Why?
 Is it okay to feel positive emotions related to death? Why?
o Explain to students that they will eventually experience more of the positive than the negative feelings
and that’s what the bracelet/necklace represents (2 positive to 1 negative). If they are feeling hopeless,
the bracelet/necklace can be a reminder to them that things will eventually get better. It might also
serve as a reminder of some of the positive times they had with their peer/pet/etc. Suggest that the
students make an effort to surround their negative emotions with positive emotions, just as it is
represented in their piece of jewelry.
 Depending on the needs of the students in your classroom, consider any required modifications/adaptations
o
Large beads with string/yarn for children with fine motor difficulty
o
Create a necklace instead of a bracelet if larger beads are needed
o
Pre-select beads and assign a meaning to them for those who cannot conceptualize on their own how a
color could represent a feeling
Follow-Up/Review:

Teacher suggestion:
lesson your student population responds to

o Was this activity particularly upsetting to any of the students? If so, ask the student if they would like to
follow-up with a representative from the school (counselor, crisis intervention team member, or ask
them with whom they feel close enough to talk to)
o Did any of the responses regarding feelings seem outrageous or alarming? If so, request involvement
from the school counselor or school psychologist.

 Students seem interested in the concept of the activity, but are not interested in jewelry
making. Students may be suggesting the need for alternative activities
 If the situation warrants follow-up, determine when the follow-up would be appropriate and
busy school year
56
Family Letters
Lesson Focus:
Rationale:
To provide the students with an activity to assist in exploring their current feelings regarding the death of their
classmate and to provide the family with fond memories their child’s classmates had with him/her.
Materials:






Construction Paper
Markers, Pens, Pencils, Crayons
Lined paper (1/2 sheets)
Poems, diary entries, or stories written by other authors about death.
Yearbooks
Chart Paper
Timing/Preparation:
 This activity can be completed one month or longer post the student’s death. Give students time (couple of
days or so) to begin thinking of stories and jotting them down in writers notebooks
o Students may begin writing ideas in writing notebooks prior to discussion. If class does not keep
a writers notebook, create a mini-notebook that students begin brainstorming ideas within
o Use the “ideas to prompt thoughts” as small moment ideas they may have had with the student
that passed
o Provide poems, diary entries, or stories written by other authors about death to give students
ideas about writing about this topic
o Provide yearbooks so students can reminisce about previous years and jog their memories
about past memories
Teaching Point: Students will explore some of their current feelings regarding the death of their classmate and share
with each other and the family some fond memories they’ve had with him/her through writings, pictures, poetry, etc.
Ideas to prompt thoughts:





Sports
Playground
Class
projects/presentations
Group work
Lunch room





Gym
Music
After school activities
Neighborhood activities
Things they had in common
Display “Ideas to Prompt Thoughts” Chart and review the various ideas that students can use when trying to think of
memories and time spent with their classmate.




Ask students to think of a memory they have about or shared with the deceased student
Ask students to put their thumbs up when they have identified their favorite memory or multiple memories
Ask students to turn and talk to their assigned partner or neighbor and to share their individual memories
Teacher will listen as students share with each other and gather 2-3 memories to share with the whole group
57
Guided Activity:
 Dismiss students from mini-lesson and ask them to brainstorm as many stories as possible about their prior
classmate. If students have been collecting stories in their writer’s notebooks and have a good amount of
ideas, then provide time for students to discuss and share their stories in small groups or partners
 Request that students look through all their ideas/stories about their classmate and choose one favorite and
positive story or interaction that they had with their former classmate
 Depending on age, have the students write their memories from that story on a piece of lined paper, and/or
draw/decorate a piece of construction paper based on their memory
 If they cannot think of a specific story, ask them to write an enlightening poem or passage of their own or rewrite a poem or passage from an author. Alternatively, they may decorate the construction paper with a
peaceful picture
Sharing/Reflection:
 After everyone has completed their story/picture, have volunteers share
 Collect stories and pictures, bind together with yarn and keep as a class book or send to the family of the
classmate
 Consider the needs of your students and make appropriate modifications/adaptations for any student in
need
o Teacher sits 1:1 with a student who is struggling to recall a memory. Suggest several memories a
student could utilize for the activity
o Allow student to dictate the story and have the adult scribe (or a responsible student)
o Have a small group sit with student and tell stories to recall memories or review yearbooks
together
Follow-Up/Review:

Teacher suggestion:


lesson your student population responds to.
 If so, ask the student if they would like to follow-up with a representative from the
school (counselor, crisis intervention team member, or ask them with whom they feel
close enough to talk to)
 If so, request involvement from the school counselor or school psychologist.
 After the activity, students experienced a difficult transition back to typical
school day
family letters. Students may be suggesting the need for alternative activities
 If the situation warrants follow-up, determine when the follow-up would be appropriate
and note this date on your planner as these types of activities are easy to forget in the
midst of a busy school year
58
Meaningful Music
Lesson Focus:
Rationale:
To assist children/young adults in learning the various ways to cope when trying to deal with the death of a classmate.
Materials:





CD Player/IPOD player
Songs with meaning (choose different cultures and genres)
Lyrics to songs
Ear-buds or headphones (or rooms to listen to songs)
Chart paper
Timing/Preparation:

It should be up to the teacher to determine if they want students to bring in their own songs or if they
prefer to preselect songs for the students to choose from.
o Students should choose a song that has meaning for them or meaning for someone else who is
dealing with a death. If the teacher is allowing students to bring in songs of their choice, the
teacher may want students to bring in the lyrics and/or the name of the song and artist so it may
be reviewed prior to sharing. Some songs may not be appropriate to share.
Teaching Point:
Students will explore the use of music in the grieving process and how music can assist in the journey through the grief
process.
 Small groups brainstorm ways that people may grieve
o Identify one student within the group to record ideas
 Come back as a whole group; ask students to share the various ways they think people may grieve.
Write ideas on chart paper
o For example, some people express grief through artwork, others exercise, some might want to be
alone in a quiet place, some people pray, others cry and like to talk about memories of the
deceased and some people like to listen to music
 Discuss that this activity focuses on the use of music in the grieving process
o Ask the students - What are some different ways that you think music can assist someone in their
journey through the grief process?
 Various cultures dance, others sing, some people combine both listening to music and
exercising to relieve stress, and others just like to listen to meaningful lyrics
59
Guided Activity:

In this activity, the focus will be on either the lyrics or the soothing melody of music that may help
people cope
o Students choose a song that has meaning for them or meaning for someone else who is dealing
with a death
o Once the students have selected the song, ask students to write a short, ½ page description of
why they chose the song and why the song might mean something to someone who is grieving
o Group students with 3-5 other students to play and discuss their songs
 The group will select one song they like best and write a brief description of their
rationale for choosing the song
a. The rationale should include an explanation of how the song holds meaning for
someone struggling with a death
Sharing/Reflection:

Each group will share their rationale and then play the song for the class

Consider any special needs for the students in your classroom and adjust the activity appropriately
o Teacher selects 3-5 songs in advance and allows the students to choose their favorite
o In the class presentation, allow the students to have alternative means to present to the class
(e.g., artwork, interpretive dance) instead of written paragraph
Follow-Up/Review:



Teacher suggestion:
o Pay close attention to which portion of the activity the children respond to as this generalized
lesson plan is intended for all ages. Engagement in the activity will allow you to notice which
portion of the lesson your student population responds to.
o Was this activity particularly upsetting to any of the students? If so, ask the student if they would
like to follow-up with a representative from the school (counselor, crisis intervention team
member, or ask them with whom they feel close enough to talk to)
o Did any of the responses regarding feelings seem outrageous or alarming? If so, request
involvement from the school counselor or school psychologist
 Situations that might warrant follow-up:
o After the activity, students experienced a difficult transition back to typical school day
o Students seem interested in the concept of the activity, but are not interested in
meaningful music assignment. Students may be suggesting the need for alternative
activities
 Situations that might not warrant follow-up:
o Students are not engaged in the activity for the duration of the activity
o Students are eager to move on with alternative activities
 If the situation warrants follow-up, determine when the follow up would be appropriate and
busy school year
60

Handouts - Association of Professional Chaplains

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