WORDS on Sex, Love, and - The National Campaign | To Prevent

Transcription

WORDS on Sex, Love, and - The National Campaign | To Prevent
Washington, DC 20036
202-478-8500 · 202-478-8588 Fax
the
National
Campaign to
Prevent Teen Pregnancy
www.teenpregnancy.org
STORY
WORDS
Our
1776 Massachusetts Avenue, NW · Suite 200
O
eak
ut
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h
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e , a nd
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o
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e
on S
Teen Pregnancy
ady
ave alre ls
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“If
goa
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for wha our life,
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ely goin
definit t.”
ha
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12
Tips, p4 » Real Stories, p8 » Resources, p11
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Features
“When I was first in foster care, I
wanted to have a baby, but I didn’t.
I was flipping through TV channels and
I saw all these children living in poverty
and decided that I really did not want a
child. I wanted to wait until I could take
care of my child and give it everything
that it needed. The reason that I wanted
a child was so I could have someone to
love and would be loved back. So what
did I do? I got a cat instead!”
Youth Speak Out on Sex, Love,
and Teen Pregnancy
My Voice: Young Adults Tell All
Alicia, 23..........................................
8
Mike, 21...........................................
9
Maria, 18.......................................
10
Resources............................... 11
Contents
4
8
Our Story, Our Words:
Our
STORY
WORDS
th
You
Sp
O
eak
ut
, a nd
ex, Love
on S
Teen Pregnancy
Some Things to Think About…
The following advice is from
youth around the country
on how to avoid becoming
pregnant as a teen. We hope
you find these ideas useful
and perhaps see your own
views and opinions reflected
in them.
“My word of advice would
be to wait.”
1
2
Thinking “it won’t happen to
me” is stupid—if you’re not
careful, it probably will. Sex
is serious. Make a plan. Either
don’t have sex at all or use contraception every single time.
ally
ay to re not
w
y
l
n
o
“The
cy is to
regnan ise, you
p
d
i
o
v
a
rw
x; othe
t.”
have se t get pregnan
h
g
i
just m
»
Just because you think everybody is doing it, doesn’t
mean they are. Some are,
some aren’t—and some are
lying. Seven in ten high school
students think their peers are
having sex, but less than half
really are.
Teens get lots of advice from adults, but they usually aren’t asked to
offer their own. That’s why we asked teens growing up in foster care
what they wanted to know about teen pregnancy prevention and what
advice they would give to their peers. Here, in their own words, is what
they had to say, as well as some things that just may surprise you.
3
Many teens in foster care say
they feel lonely or unloved
and that having sex or having
a baby at an early age is the
answer. A baby is a lifelong
responsibility. Think about
what you would want from
your parents. Then ask yourself—are you ready to provide
that for a child right now? Seriously think about waiting to
have a baby at least until after
you finish high school and
hopefully college; have a good
job; are in a healthy, long-term
relationship; and can support
your family.
4
5
Here are three good reasons to
say “no, not yet.” Protect your
feelings, protect your health,
and protect your future.
Just because someone is older,
doesn’t mean they get to call
the shots. Don’t let anyone take
advantage of you or pressure
you into having sex.
6
7
You can always say “no”—even
if you’ve said “yes” before. You
get to decide every single time
whether to have sex or not.
Remember: you’re in control!
You’re not alone. If you have
questions about sex, don’t
be shy about talking with a
doctor or nurse, foster parent, caseworker, or another
trusted adult.
The only way to really avoid pregnancy
is to not have sex; otherwise, you just
might get pregnant.
8
If you think birth control “ruins
the mood,” consider what a
pregnancy test will do to it. Both
guys and girls are responsible
for using protection. If you’re
having sex, remember: carrying
a condom is just being smart—
it doesn’t mean you’re pushy or
easy. It also doesn’t mean you’re
expected to have sex.
MY
Voice
Alicia
n
You
g
l
A du
ts
Tell All
, 23
When
I
sent t was seven
, my y
o
oung
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riend
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On th
she co of the fam Kayla and
e out
u
I were
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ldn’t
But b
rm
ayl
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cally,
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a
Becau mentally, rs, my fost healthy an ymore.
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, wou
atten ely attache no one lov
ld
ed me se us.
tion. I
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w
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is wh
y I los ould have e first boy r wanted m
who s
tm
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e, I be
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e sex
he ex
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ally I
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to, s
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sti
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ve
that I Having a b . I was one r took the scription f red
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m. Gi
aby w
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of the
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I was
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lchild
you h ld tell ever e does ha
is fath
is rea
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for yo e your life foster kid t a relation
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aren’t
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ship w
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ve sex ith him.
hat I d
you h
. Wait
ave ev
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u
eryth
ing go ntil
ing
These are the stories of teens who grew up
in the foster care system, in their own words.
Only the names have been changed.
subhad a ter
m
o
sis
ym
s.
ld. M
s, and
ears o o brother g for drug
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a
ta
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rt
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want
Here are some numbers to
call and websites to visit for
more information:
I’ve been
in and o
ut of fos
my pare
ter care
nts were
since I w
addicted
clean fo
as in thir
to alcoh
r a little
d grade.
ol and d
while an
ended u
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d I’d mo
p using
m
v
e
om wou
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ain. At th
ck in wit
havior. I
ld get
h her, bu
didn’t re
e time I
didn’t th
aliz
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to jail w
ink anyth she always
as abnorm e that having p
ing o
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My dad
all I knew ts who used dru f her bedied in a
gs and w
.
every ye
horrible
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ar after
accident
that, I liv
w
or friend
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ed with
. Surpris
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gly, it wa
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nd
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By the ti
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Virginia
me I was
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y good a
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Things w
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om, her
ere good
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ack to
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gain. We
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morning
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had a hu
ther.
, I walke
mom be
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with a c
gan
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r room to
e night,
rack pip
and the
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next
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when I d found her passe
yself. For
best frie
d
ecided th
the rest
nd’s fam
of high s
at I need out
ily. Today
recently
chool, I s
ed
, my mo
that she
ta
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er and I
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my
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HIV posit e birth to anoth
eak. I fou
er baby,
ive. I we
in prote
nd out
and both
nt to see
ctive serv
she and
the b
ices
I want to
the
punch m , because my mo aby over Thank
sgiving.
y mothe
m aband
Despite
Sh
r in the fa
oned he
my very
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go to co
abnorm
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llege in
a
l
u
p
b
ri
Pittsburg
n
system u
h and I p ging , I’m doing
ntil I’m
really w
lan on s
21. I’ve a
ye a r a n d
ell
taying in
ls
o been d
we’re re
the foste . I
ating th
ally hap
have a lo
r care
e same g
py. I’m v
t more fr
uy for ov
ery care
eedom th
they eith
ful thou
an most
er
gh. Foste er a
kids and
think a lo go crazy or beco
r kids
wh
m
t of time
s kids are e super respons en that happen
actions.
s,
ib
T h ey k n
u
le
n
.
aware o
o w ab o u
think ab
f the con I’m responsible
t STDs a
out the
.I
s
e
q
u
nd preg
ences of
co n
people’s
nancy, b
their
example sequences. But
u
t
th
e
I do. I’ve
y don’t re
s.
learned
ally
from oth
er
e you’re locked
“If you feel lik
a
once you have
down already,
e
b
ally going to
child you’re re
ing
You’re not go
locked down.
anywhere.”
to be able to go
10
»
NANCY BRATTON DESIGN · WWW.NANCYBRATTONDESIGN.COM
Maria, 1
8
Questions about sex, protection, contraception (including
emergency contraception)
and STDs?
· National Campaign to
Prevent Teen Pregnancy:
www.teenpregnancy.org
www.myspace.com/
national campaign
· Planned Parenthood:
1-800-230-PLAN or
www.teenwire.com
· American Social Health
Association: 1-800-227-8922
or www.iwannaknow.org
· MTV/It’s Your Sex Life
1-888-BE-SAFE-1 (237-2331) or
www.mtv.com
· Teen Health: http://
teenhealth.org/teen/
Questions about where to
get tested for HIV?
· National HIV Testing
Resources: http://
www.hivtest.org
Questions about
relationships?
· Teen Health: http://
teenhealth.org/teen/
· Pause: www.fox.com/pause
Questions about foster care,
relationships, and more?
· FosterClub: www.fosterclub.
com and www.fyi3.com
If you’ve been abused...
· National Child Abuse
Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
· loveisrespect, Teen Dating
Abuse Helpline:
1-866-331-9474
1-866-331-8453 (TTY)
www.loveisrespect.org
If you’ve run away and
need shelter...
· Covenant House:
1-800-999-9999 or http://
www.covenanthouse.org
Resources
Interested in learning more?
“Being a teen parent wasn’t easy for me.
It’s not fun and games…I have this baby
that cries for 6 hours a day and I just
came home from work and now I gotta
take care of my kid.”
This magazine was developed, written, and published by the National Campaign to
Prevent Teen Pregnancy. The National Campaign would like to thank the Fairfax County
Department of Family Services, Sasha Bruce Youthwork, and UCAN (Uhlich Children’s
Advantage Network of Chicago) for organizing focus groups with foster care youth. We
also extend warm appreciation to the teens who participated in the focus groups and
who shared their personal stories—their helpful comments and words are reflected
throughout this publication. We also thank the many reviewers whose suggestions
have improved this document. Finally, special thanks to UCAN, who has been a main
partner throughout this initiative and to our consultant, Michelle Hainer.
11