november 2012 issue

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Pretty T Girls
November 2012
The Magazine for the most beautiful girls in the world
A publication of Pretty T Girls Yahoo group
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In This Issue
Page
Editorial by Barbara Jean
A Time to Remember
Loving My Crossdressing Partner
Makeup Mistakes that add 10 years to your life
15 Tips For A Perfect Manicure
Best Beauty Products of 2012
The Exploits of Barbara Marie
Tasi’s Musings
Humor
Thanksgiving Day Weather Forecast
Angels In The Centerfold
Kathy’s Korner
The Adventures of Judy Sometimes
TG Tips from Mellissa
7 Trends Every Woman Can Wear
Tasi’s Fashion News
Closets by: Randy
Lucilla Sorella
Rhonda Lee—My Journey Towards Learning to Love
The Gossip Fence
Shop Till You Drop
Calendar
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By Order of the Court
An Editorial by: Barbara Jean
For years, Michelle Kosilek has been asking the Massachusetts prison system for "sex
-change" surgery. Born Robert Kosilek, she went to jail in 1992 for murdering her wife.
and at that point, changed her name and "began living like a woman to the maximum
extent possible," according to a recent court ruling. In 2003, after Kosilek sued the
state for refusing to grant her hormone therapy and a sex-change operation y -- a
judge ruled that the therapy was necessary treatment.
In September a federal judge rules that the state of Massachusetts would have to give
Michelle Kosilek, a convicted killer sexual reassignment surgery.
The decision is a landmark decision in the fact that it is the first time a court has ruled
the surgery to be medically necessary. Well of course the decision is under appeal,
especially since the court also ruled that the state must pay Ms. Kosilek’s legal fees
which amount close to a half million dollars.
But what is the effect of this decision for us, especially if the decision holds during
appeals?
For years we have felt that having the surgery was a medically necessity, but insurance companies would not cover it saying it was simply cosmetic surgery. Most insurance companies will pay for a surgery that is medically necessary, but not for one that
is simply cosmetic.
As a result for many of us obtaining the surgery has been a virtual impossibility. For
many of us where someone would employ us, the pay has been low and thus there
was no way to save the money needed for the surgery. A late friend of mine worked
with the organization “Transsexuals in Prison” and he told me that 40% of the transsexuals who were incarcerated had turn to crime in an attempt to obtain the funds
needed for the surgery. Generally these were bank robbery, prostitution and drug
sales.
This is not a question of should someone who is incarcerated for life get this surgery at
taxpayers expense, but rather since it was ruled as medically necessary why should
not someone who is on medicare or medicade also be able to obtain the surgery?
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In another instance after two appeals, a woman in NYC has won insurance coverage
for her reassignment surgery. This is another landmark event in that generally insurance companies have ruled SRS to be cosmetic and not covered.
In all cases be it someone who is incarcerated, someone who is on government
insurance, or private insurance the bottom line is what is always considered.
I think the fact that a federal court has ruled it medically necessary and an insurance
company has also deemed the surgery to be medically necessary can be a landmark
ruling for all of us. Perhaps in the future it will no longer be necessary to fly out of the
country to obtain the surgery, perhaps those of us who wish that surgery but were not
able to afford it will now have the coverage that will make it affordable
A Time to Remember
By: Barbara Jean
On October 3rd, 2002 a beautiful young lady by the name of Gwen
Araujo was brutally murdered, murdered because she was transgendered. Gwen Araujo is but one of the many brothers and sisters of our community who’s lives were cut far too short simply because they were being true to themselves.
November 20th is the Transgendered Day of Remembrance, a day
that we set aside to remember those who have lost their lives to
violence simply because they were transgendered. We remember
them and we pray for an end to the violence that has taken far too
many lives from our community.
But in addition to those who have lost their lives to hate, there are
as many or more that have survived brutal attacks. For those whose lives have been
lost the agony is over, but for those who have survived those brutal attacks the
memory will haunt them for the rest of their lives.
As we come to the various services for the Transgendered Day of Remembrance, let
us remember to pray for an end to the violence against members of our community.
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Loving My Crossdressing Partner, Not Just "Dealing
With" Him
…I sat on his bed and watched his shadow change as he became my new girlfriend...the first time I met her, she was shy and nervous, and I was anxious to take
pictures to show off my beautiful girl--and my makeup skills ;) I was a bit nervous for
her too, though. Afterwards, I wished I would have paid more attention to her—touched
her, kissed her—instead of just being her photographer, but thankfully there were
plenty more opportunities for fun after that… ;)
Since I was very young, even before I really understood my tendencies, I’ve had a
strong connection to gender bending, androgyny and anything related. As I got older, I
realized I was bisexual/queer and had an attraction to androgynous men, crossdressers, and trans women. Now, since the universe has decided to bless me with
exactly who I’ve been wishing for, I have to stop and think every once in a while of how
amazingly grateful I am. I thought I would share some of my thoughts and feelings with
you, and maybe it will be useful, interesting, or something you can connect with.
Part of what inspired me to share my story is a book I’ve been reading called “My
Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresser” by Helen Boyd. I realized that
so few girlfriends and wives of CDs share my same perspective. There are plenty of
stories of women who suddenly found out about their partner’s crossdressing after
years of marriage and were horrified. There are also those who found out, or were told
early on in the relationship, and were more able to be accepting, but still did not feel
quite the same as I do. I think a big part of my (seemingly rare feelings compared to
other partners) is my bisexuality, and my specific attraction to those of unique gender
identities and expressions. Since not all bisexual women feel the same about crossdressing as I do, I thought I should make that clear. I have realized recently that I do
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feel more fulfilled with my CD/Two Spirit partner than I probably would with a typical
man or woman. I use the term Two Spirit for him as well because he truly connects
with that concept of being two different gendered souls in one body. Being with him/her
has helped me to learn about myself and how I really did need someone who has
elements of both genders and embraces them both beautifully.
Another reason I decided to talk about my thoughts is because I don’t see enough support from CDs’ significant others. I mostly see CDs themselves talking about how they
wish they could find women who accept them, and according to “My Husband Betty,”
there are some forums where women complain about their husbands and even ban
women who try to show any feelings of acceptance. I really wish there was more of a
movement to promote acceptance of this group along with the more prevalent movements for the LGBT community.
No matter how small or hidden or looked down upon the movement may be, I would
love to be a part of it. I would love to share my feelings if it could even help just a few
people. I would love to talk about how I love and admire my partner’s feminine nature
in so many indescribable ways, and how I love doing his makeup, dressing him up,
and just enjoying spending time with ‘her.’ He makes me want to do everything from
making love to his sexy female self and being fun and crazy and kinky, to writing old
fashioned love poems about the simplest gestures that make her so beautiful to me. I
want to be a part of celebrating something that shouldn’t be thought of as shameful.
So, some people think it’s “perverse” because it might turn him on to dress up, but why
can’t it be a sexual thing? Why does it become more “wrong” if it has to do with sex too
and not only “getting in touch with his feminine side”?
Being gay, lesbian and bisexual has to do with sex too, but those communities are becoming more accepted and celebrated now, so why shouldn’t crossdressing follow
along with that? I really do have hopes and dreams of showing the world how beautiful
this can be. There are so many wonderful layers and facets far beyond what you see
on Jerry Springer.
I may be crazy to think of changing the world, or even changing just a few minds, but I
don’t care anymore about sounding crazy or being too controversial…nothing inspires
you to want to change the world quite like being in love
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Makeup Mistakes that Add 10 Years
By Jenny Bailly
Mistake #1: Using Too Much Foundation
A foundation that's too thick will settle into fine lines and
sap the luminosity from your skin. "Only use foundation
where you need it to even out discoloration," says makeup
artist Frances Hathaway. "You don't have to cover every
inch of your skin." When buying a foundation, avoid those
described as "matte," "velvet," and "long-wearing"; look for
sheer liquid formulas with light-diffusing pigments. (A great
option: Chanel Vitalumiere, $55; chanel.com.) If you have
dry skin, foundation can look patchy and accentuate discoloration, so exfoliate two to three times a week and always
apply a moisturizer after cleansing. Hathaway's favorite
moisturizers to use under foundation: Aveda All Sensitive
Moisturizer for combination or normal skin ($33;
aveda.com) and Weleda Skin Food for dry skin ($18.50; usa.weleda.com).
Mistake #2: Over-Concealing Your Under-Eye Circles
A thick concealer that comes in a stick or pot will eradicate the shadows under your
eyes, but it will also draw attention to the crepiness and fine lines that usually show up
in that area first (because the skin there is thin). A better option: A brush-on highlighter
pen (like Neutrogena Healthy Skin Brightening Eye Perfector, $11.99; drugstores) that
uses illuminating particles, not opaque color, to camouflage dark circles. Apply it only
near the inner corners of your under-eye area, where shadows are most prominent
(and lines least).
Mistake #3: Wearing Deep, Dark Lip Colors
A dark color makes any surface look smaller--a welcome illusion perhaps on your hips
but not your lips. To make your mouth look fuller (one hallmark of a youthful face),
choose bright lipsticks and glosses (peaches, pinks, vibrant reds) over deep shades
(burgundies, wines, browns). Makeup artists use another trick to create the illusion of
luscious lips: Before applying color, trace a highlighter pencil along your upper lip line,
then buff it out with your finger. (Try Nars Soft Touch Shadow Pencil in Hollywoodland,
$24; narscosmetics.com.)
RELATED: The 7 Best New Coats for Fall
Mistake #4: Finishing with Powder
Youthful skin reflects light. Powders prevent light reflection and tend to magnify lines in
the skin. If powder has been the final step of your makeup routine since high school, it
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can be difficult to quit cold-turkey. Here's a three-step program: First, switch to a very
sheer translucent powder (like Laura Mercier Loose Setting Powder, $35; lauramercier.com). Then, start using it only on your nose and chin. Finally, trade the powder for
a packet of blotting tissues--use one, only on the T-zone (nose, chin, and forehead), if
you're shiny midday.
Mistake #5: Wearing Black Eyeliner
Don't skip eyeliner altogether--it's a great way to make your eyes look more open--but
choose brown over black, which can be harsh. And keep the color diffuse. "You want
to define the eyes with softness and blending, not strict lines," says makeup artist Troy
Surratt. "A thick liner can leave the upper lids looking heavier than they are." The best
technique: Trace a brown pencil liner along the upper lash line (into the roots of the
lashes), focusing on the outer corners; smudge it with a Q-tip.
Mistake #6: Going Overboard with Lip Liner
A lip liner can define your lips and prevent color from feathering into any lines around
the mouth--but choose one very carefully. If you line your lips too heavily, or with a
color that's too dark, they'll look tight and pursed. For the most natural effect, your lip
liner should match the color of your lips, not the color of your lipstick. Choose a creamy
formula that won't adhere to any dry patches, and use it to fill in your lips entirely, so it
wears evenly.
RELATED: How to Save $162 Every Month
Mistake #7: Using Liner and Mascara on Your Lower Lashes
Playing up your lower lashes can make your eyes look droopy and draw attention to
dark circles. Instead, curl your upper lashes and wiggle a volumizing mascara into their
roots and slowly through the ends for the most uplifting effect. (Try Rimmel ScandalEyes Curve Alert Mascara, $6.99; drugstores.)
Mistake #8: Skipping Blush
A rosy flush on your cheeks brings instant life to your face. And, if applied correctly,
blush can offer a little lift. Smile, find the fleshiest part of your cheek and apply color
just slightly above it. Blend the color out toward your temples in circles, not a line, using a big fluffy brush. You want to avoid a stripe of color that stretches along your
cheekbones, which can make you look drawn and hollow, says Surratt.
Mistake #9: Applying Lipstick Straight from the Tube
The borders of the lips soften with age, and any extra lipstick migrates easily. To avoid
bleeding color, use your finger or a lip brush so that you don't deposit too much pigment. Concentrate the lipstick in the center of your mouth, and blend it out with a fin-
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ger. Top it with a moisturizing balm or light gloss.
Mistake #10: Choosing a Too-Dark Eyebrow Pencil
"Your brow color fades as you age, so the brow pencil that you were using at 25 will
look too stark against your complexion at 50," says makeup artist Denise Markey. She
recommends Maybelline Define-a-Brow Eyebrow Pencils ($6.95; drugstores), which
come in four shades. Choose the one that's a shade or two lighter than your natural
brow color. If your brows are starting to get a little wiry, run a clear brow gel over them
as well, brushing them up and out toward your temples.
15 Tips for a Perfect Manicure
WebMD
French Manicures: Hot or Not?
Before all else, a manicure lover dreams of her
fashion statement. Is yours the French manicure?
Depending on who you ask, this pale pink polish
with a white tip is either classic or old-fashioned. If
you love the look, you'll be happy to know that it
makes nails look longer. And pale shades are just
right for serious moments, like a job interview.
Gel and Shellac Can Take a Beating
Maybe your crazy hobbies wreck your nails. A
gel or shellac manicure may give you two to
three weeks of shiny, chip-free nails. Both
types require several layers of polish that
need curing under a special lamp. And you
probably need to pay a pro to remove these
tough polishes. But fuss-free nails may be
worth the price.
Do a Skin Check for Sizzling Color
Will cherry red polish make you look vampirepale or sizzling hot? The answer is in your skin
tone. For skin with blue undertones, choose pinkish nudes, deep violet, fuchsia, or that cherry red.
For olive or yellow undertones, pick beige or
white nudes, chocolates, and corals. Test new
shades on a piece of clear tape stuck to a nail.
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Let Nail Shape Flatter Your Hand
Should your nails be short and square or long and
pointy? You can play it safe with an oval shape,
which flatters most hands. If you want to soften
your look, try a round shape. Square nails look
best on long fingers. A "squoval" looks like a
square, but has rounded corners. A point is more
daring and makes your fingers seem longer.
Pearly Pinks Look Good Longer
Shimmery or pearly nail polishes may last longer
than matte ones. And a neutral color -- pale pink
or a pretty cream -- makes nicks and dents less
obvious. To touch up your nails at home, use an
extra layer of top coat (instead of any old clear
nail polish). Two thin coats are less likely to chip
than one thick layer
How to Go Blue or Bold
Blue, green, yellow and other bold colors are ever
more popular. Keep these fun fashion statements
neat and freshly polished, so your bold color is the
main attraction. You also may want a fresh manicure a little sooner than with a quiet color. It's easier to see where your nails have grown, revealing
their natural color at the base
Fake Nails Are an Artful Cover-up
Nail extensions can hide weak, damaged, or
broken fingernails. But you have to go to the
salon often to keep them looking good. And
they may damage your real nails even more.
Wet, loose, or chipped acrylic nails can trap
moisture and give you an infection. Go completely fake-free once in a while to keep
your nails healthy.
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Nail Art
When plain colors are simply too plain, tiny
stick-on jewels and painted designs can
jazz up your look. Some newer trends:
crackle finishes (like old paint), colored tips,
and dragging magnets through wet metallic
polish for squiggly designs. A "moon manicure" has a pale semicircle at the nail base
and the rest is polished in another color
Wear Sunscreen to the Salon
A manicure shouldn't put you at risk for wrinkles
and skin cancer. And some doctors worry that
putting your hands under a UV nail lamp frequently could do just that. It uses the same UV
rays from the sun or a tanning bed. So rub a
broad-spectrum sunscreen on your hands. And
ask about fans or letting your nails dry naturally
Forward Thinking Saves Nails
Prevent that "Oops!" moment. Before your
manicure, get your wallet and car keys handy.
No digging into your purse with wet nail polish! In winter, keep your coat on during a
manicure to avoid smudging polish on your
sleeves later. You also can ask for a protective oil on your finished nails. It lessens the
chance of smudges.
Quick Fix for a Smudge or Chip
A smudge or chip after you've left the salon is maddening. Not to worry. Dab a little
acetone nail polish remover on the trouble
spot and smooth it. When it's dry, fill in the
area with matching polish. Follow this with
a new coat of polish on the whole nail and
a clear top coat. Allow 10 minutes to dry.
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First Aid for Split Nails
Cut paper strips from a tea bag to give a split
or cracked nail extra support while it grows
out. Apply a base coat to a clean, dry nail, wet
the strips with the same polish, and wrap
them around the nail. Smooth your work with
a manicure stick and seal with another layer
of polish. For severe nail cracks, see your
doctor.
Fight the Manicure's Natural Enemies
Chores are brutal on manicures, so become
BFFs with gloves. Get a few pairs to wear
when hand-washing dishes, gardening, and
painting. Scrape price tag stickers off with a
spoon instead of your nails, and buy a soda
can opener. Switch from bar soap to a gentle hand wash to prevent drying. And put lotion on your hands to keep your cuticles soft
Prevent Nail Infections
You probably know that the salon's tools should
be clean and disinfected between clients. You
can also bring your own equipment. If you feel
any itching or burning after the manicurist uses
a product, say something right away. And if
your nails or fingers become red, sore, or ooze
pus after a manicure, see your doctor. It could
be an infection.
Salon Manicures for Girls?
There's no magic age when it becomes OK
for little girls to have a manicure. It's usually
up to the parents to decide when. Most nail
services are safe, as long as the salon cleans
equipment properly. Some spas and salons
even specialize in serving girls and teenagers.
And a mani before the big dance can be a fun
mother-daughter event
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Best beauty products of 2012
Woman's Day – Thu, Aug 23, 2012 12:49 PM EDT
)Discover new cosmetics that get the job done better
than the rest.
With the amount of beauty products available on the
market, shopping for anything from mascara to manicure sets can involve some serious decision making. It
seems like every product claims to go on flawlessly,
last longer and give you salon-quality results at home,
but do these innovations really work?
Woman's Day editors put them to the test and picked
the most effective ones at the best price.
Long-wear lipgloss
Lipsticks and stains are known to have staying power,
while gloss tends to fade faster. Until now. Thanks to
special waxes and polymers formulated to lock in color
and help it adhere better, lipgloss has gone from fleeting
to fantastic.
Unlike other long-wear formulas that can feel clumpy,
NYC New York Color City Proof 8HR Lip Gloss
($3.15, at drugstore.com) "went on smoothly" and never
had to be reapplied.
The "vibrancy" and stain-like finish of Maybelline New
York SuperStay 10HR Stain Gloss ($8.99, at drugstores) seriously impressed one tester. The formula
lasted a solid 8 hours, "even after lunch and an afternoon snack."
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Instant Highlights
At-home kits have evolved beyond foil and
messy applicator bottles and brushes. These
days, you can use your flat iron to create highlights in less than 10 minutes or wash them
away after one night.
Spritz Marc Anthony Easy-Lites Instant
Highlighting Spray ($8.99, ulta.com) onto the
areas you want to highlight, then run your flat
iron over them. "Be sure to do a few practice
sprays to ensure the nozzle deposits the solution evenly," said one tester.
Alterna 1 Night Highlights (Starting at $22, Yahoo! Shopping) is "a fun change for a
special occasion." Comb the mousse onto dry hair, wait 5 minutes and—voilà—lighter
streaks. A note from the tester: "Have a friend help you apply to prevent any mistakes."
Smoothing Treatments
Superstar ingredients typically found only in salon
keratin treatments—Moroccan and avocado oils—
now appear in products at your local drugstore for a
fraction of the cost. They claim to keep hair smooth
and shiny for up to a week, but not all are as effective as they promise. Above, two that truly deliver.
Organix Ever Straight Brazilian Keratin Therapy
14 Day Smoothing Treatment ($7.99, at Target
stores) is "simple to apply": Spray onto 80% dry hair
and expect "smoothness for 10 days." One tester
warns against oversaturation, since it weighed her hair down.
A drop of Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine Moroccan Sleek Oil Treatment ($4.75, at
walmart.com) left our user's hair "feeling soft" and frizz-free "for more than three
weeks." But if you have thin or fine hair, she warns, "A little goes a long way."
Lash Enhancers
The strengthening peptides found in lash-boosting serums aim to give you longer, plumper lashes—and now
you can find them in mascara too. Another enhancer:
primer, which helps mascara adhere better so lashes look
fuller. Woman's Day tested both and loved two.
Mary Kay Lash Primer ($15; MaryKay.com) "glides on
easily" but left the tester wondering, Is this just an unnecessary step in my morning makeup routine? Once she put
on her mascara, though, she was sold. "My eyelashes
look lusher than they ever have with mascara alone."
Just one coat of Rimmel London Lash Accelerator
Mascara ($8.60, at drugstore.com) noticeably enhanced
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the tester's lashes and the brush's shape "made lashes in the hard-to-reach inner corners easier to get to." But any real growth is "subtle at best."
At-home Gel Manicures
Known for their durability (think two weeks or
more without chipping), gel manicures are the
newest nail craze. At the salon, a gel will run you
$50 to $75, but now DIY kits and polishes are
popping up for much less. Typically sold with an
LED light (to "set" your manicure) or an adhesive
base coat, at-home gels promise to last the standard 14 days and save you money in the long
run. Here are two standouts to try:
Unlike most salon gel manis, Nutra Nail Gel Perfect ($12, at Yahoo! Shopping) uses
an activator base coat instead of an UV light to help create a shiny, solid finish.
Though this gel "dried within 5 minutes," one user reported that "it didn't last as long as
a salon gel" (only eight days). But the "convenience of doing your nails at home is
worth the slightly shortened life span."
The LED lamp included with the SensatioNail By Nailene Invincible Gel Polish
Starter Kit ($60, at Walmart stores) explains the hefty price tag. While the starter polish is good for 10 manicures, you can buy larger bottles separately. The tester's verdict: "I've had gels done at the salon before and this one lasted just as long—13 days
straight!"
Teeth whitening kits
The cost of in-office whitening ranges from $500 to
$1,000—enough to give you a permanent frown in spite of
your pearly whites. At-home counterparts are less expensive, but have been tricky to use and took a long time to
work. Some brands now promise results in as little as 2
hours and offer strips that dissolve, rather than bunch up,
in your mouth.
Extra-adhesive Crest 3D White Intensive Professional
Effects Whitestrips ($45, at Amazon.com) never slipped,
whitened better than other products the tester had used
and caused no sensitivity. One drawback: having to wear
them "2 hours a day for seven days straight."
Rembrandt Intense Stain Dissolving Strips ($20, at
Amazon.com) melt after 10 minutes in your mouth—a
huge plus for testers. "I loved that I didn't have to wait to remove them," one said. And
after using them for two weeks, the tester reported a brighter, whiter smile.
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The Exploits of Barbara Marie
SO YOU ARE PLANNING
TO “COME OUT OF THE CLOSET”
BY
BARBARA MARIE DAVIDSON
The motto of the Boy Scouts is to “BE PREPARED” as scouting (both Boys and Girls)
teaches you to be prepared for life’s adventures and skills to make that happen. If you
are a transgendered male to female cross dresser, everything that you have learned
about life through scouting disappears in a heartbeat when you take that first step out
of your “sanctuary”. Your sanctuary may be your closet, bed room, or house. Speaking from experience, my stomach was in knots when I took that baby step out of my
comfort zone. There was no one around me to point fingers, or to lead me on like cattle
to a slaughter, yet, I was still a wreck. What if I met someone I knew, what if I got sick
or had a wreck? What if etc went through my mind. My first few “outings “ as a novice,
were to do menial task such as a trip to the post office, to an ATM, to put gas in my car
or just to ride around for a little while. All of this was done after the sun went down so
that I might not meet someone that I might know. I wore my hair in a pony tail at work
so I would just let it fall about my ears and neck, but there would still be folks that I
could meet who would know who I was. All of these things and feelings came about
after my wife passed away in 2006 and I had made the decision to try to “dress again”.
See my article about “A Quick History” that appeared in the February or March issue of
the PTG magazine 2011 about my changes that have occurred.
There have also been a number of other articles that have appeared in the PTG Magazine in the past few years concerning my “Coming Out”. Make up was something that I
knew very little about. I did find out quickly after some experimentation with Cover Girl
that CG does not always cover guys! I wrote an article about my nontraditional make
over where I finally bit the bullet, had a makeover and purchased about $270.00 of
“Clinique” Make up. 4 ½ years later, I am still a “Clinique Girl”! It was the first of many
adventures that have occurred as I got more comfortable in being out of my comfort
zone(s). Then there was a problem with my family (kids) when I decided to tell them.
This resulted in still another article “So You Think That Your Family Doesn’t Know.”
When I say that most do as children are very observant because of their learning ability
that they have to pick up on even the smallest of things/detail, although they may not
understand at the time..
Believe me when I say that as you get more accustomed to leaving the sanctuary of
your house, it does get better as you become more comfortable with yourself and your
presentation. Most folk’s biggest fears are that they will be recognized by a friend or
someone that they know. A very nice wig that suits your facial style will do wonders in
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cutting down on being recognized. Also, dressing conservatively is another way to cut
down on your recognition. Another thing that might occur is that they get read as being
as male. The best advice that one can give is to look your best, present yourself as a
female and try not to do anything that would bring attention to yourself. It is more socially acceptable for a female to dress in men’s clothing than it is for a man to be seen
in female attire as society says that a female can dress in men’s clothes but men can
not have the same opportunity to dress as a female. (Then it is/becomes socially unacceptable to do so.)
If you belong to some groups or clubs, especially some that are male orientated, a
word to the wise, be prepared for the worst. Become familiar with the By Laws so that
if you are confronted with a problem, that you know what the bylaw is and what you
options are in dealing with it. It raised it ugly head last summer (see below) and has
raised its ugly head again this past week after being dormant for almost a year. This
time, it is two Military orientated groups that I belong to. I have been attending their
meetings for almost 2 years now and the sleeping giant has begun to arise. More on
this topic a little latter.
I got tired of living a double life in October of 2009 and thus the first of November
2009, I went back down to one life, and begin to dress full time, 24/7, en femme. One
also needs to consider some avenues that they can do to cover themselves, legally. I
saw a clinical psychologist several times which then she wrote a letter which I carry in
my car and in my purse about my current lifestyle. When I decided to pursue HRT
(Hormone Replacement Therapy), she wrote me a letter which I presented to a Doctor
in Aiken SC that placed me on HRT. I also have a copy of his letter as well. I decided
to go a little further in my “transition, and had a legal name change (another article –
“So You Wish To Change Your Name” that I wrote earlier this year). I enjoy the freedom to be able to go and come and to many things that I could not or would not have
done in the past. I have also found that my self esteem and self confidence has tripled
what it was when I “was a guy”. I recently had a breast augmentation with 350cc implants and have a letter also from my surgeon to that effect. I have enjoyed becoming
the person that I have become. However, one must also remember that there are pit
falls and stumbling blocks that will be placed in your way and you may be put in a
situation(s) you do not wish to be in. Such was my case.
As it gets better and better to become more of the person that you want to be, so does
the responsibilities as well as the unpleasant things that can go along with your being a
M2F TG cross dresser. One has to be careful of the various organizations, clubs that
you belong to as some of the members can be very “homophobic” and can try to make
one’s life miserable. Also, many men do not understand as they feel that if you are
male, you are suppose to be a MAN. Some feel that you are/might be a threat to their
masculinity as they do not understand us. Some all male clubs are very exclusive in
who is or will be a member. I have found out the hard way. One I was able to resign as
a member in good standing before being expelled for the group. Be sure that you know
your bylaws and what article, section concerning expulsion from the organization/club.
I had been seen at a public function as a female and was NOT representating this or-
18
ganization either in an official or un official position, But, the by lawn quoted was conduct unbecoming a member which could bring discredit and/or dishonor to the organization. This was the Society of Colonial War in the state of Georgia of which I had
been a member for about 25 years or longer. Since this organization was basically and
male dominated group, Lambda Legal could only offer me the names of a couple of TG
friendly Lawyers in the Savannah area.
It has now been just about a years since I had the problem and It has arisen again
compliments of the Chatham Artillery Association as well as the Savannah Volunteer
Guards association. Both are “social organizations” and the requirements are that one,
male or female, who has been in a National Guard Unit that meets the qualifications
for membership, can apply. Before I went in the NAVY in 1969 I was a member of the
National Guard unit that was “flying the Chatham Artillery Colors” at that time. I have
been an active member for over 31 years of the Association. In the case of the Savannah Volunteer Guards, my membership in the National guard along with my 20 Years
active service with the navy, was my qualification. Both of these “units date back over
200 years. I was called on the carpet with the Chatham as there were questions as to
who the “female was” and several of the officers did not like the idea of telling those
who asked that I was a members who is now dressing as a female. (That was the basic problem). Then, I got an email wanting to know about my change, Id Cards, Drivers license, and ETC. Of course I sent them copies of my documents from the doctors,
the court document with my name change. Then, the ugly question arose – “what
bathroom do you use?” Of course I told them – “the one for which I am dressed”.
They did not like that answer at all especially as we have 3 functions a year where the
spouses, significant others are invited. The by law that they are going to use in my
case is conduct unbecoming a gentlemen – use of the ladies room when there are ladies present – as I am still male (Technically). They apparently do not care about my
“documentation”, my life style over the last few years, or my note from Lambda Legal
with documents attached supporting my use of a ladies room. This time Lambda Legal
was a little more helpful due to the fact the females are not “excluded” from the membership, just that none have qualified and/or applied. FYI one of the documents is the
transgender tool kit which covers specifically the use of bathrooms by transgender/
transsexual people. The Savannah Volunteer Guards is getting into the picture also
because at least 2 of the members of the Chatham Board of officers are also officers in
the SVG. Thus, I am catching it from all sides.
I most likely will struggle with this problem again in the next year or so with the St Andrew’s Society of Savannah, GA that dates it history back 250 years. It is, however, an
all male organization, thus Lambda Legal cannot help me at all. Currently, I have not
violated any of the By Laws as the reason for expulsion from the society is nonpayment of dues. Believe it or not, I don’t pay dues as I am a life member. My association
goes back to 1957 as I attended the meeting with my father as I played the bagpipes. I
became a member in 1965. In 2015, I will be a 50 year members of this group. However, the same two individuals who got me removed from the Society of Colonial Wars
is pushing for a change in the bylaws that would resemble the one that had me removed from that group as well. One of these individuals will also be a 50 year member
19
in 2015.
To make a long story short, I will know before September where I stand with each of
the units above. My gut feeling from the meeting that I had last week, that there are a
number of homophobic individuals on the board(s) and things may not go well for me.
I even offered a compromise. As a Member in good standing, I am free to attend ALL
functions of both group, but I offered to stay away the big party function when their
wives and girl friend would be present. But that is a shot in the dark, believe me. So
Ladies, when you make your decisions or commitments on “coming out of the closet,
what the facts are and where you stand in the groups to which you may belong as you
may not be happy when the find out.
Well ladies, all I can say is no news is/was good news. August 23rd came and went and
nothing. Then, during the first week in September, I got notification from the Chatham
Artillery (CA) addressed to WMD pertaining to the membership meeting on September
17th in Savannah. I signed the card both with my new legal name and my “old name”
and returned it saying that I would be there. Several days later, I got another meeting
note from the Savannah Volunteer Guards (SVG) telling me about their membership
meeting and it was also addressed to WMD. I did go to both of them as Barbara with
no questions or problems.
Ladies, Just remember one thing - documentation is the name of the game when it
comes to who (m) and what you are. For the August meeting, there were officers from
both groups present. I had given them copies of letters from my three doctors, a copy
of my legal name change, a copy of the front page of my new passport showing my
feminine photo and name. The was also a copy of all of my id cards from the various
military groups I belong to as well as my Mil ID card, Medicare card and my state DL,
all showing my new name and photo. I also included information from Lambda Legal
as to the proper bathroom to be used. Their Beef and the bylaw they were going to
used was conduct unbecoming a “gentleman” for using the ladies bathroom when ladies were present. FYI, if or when you have problems at work or in others areas,
Lambda Legal is a great place for resource material. I found out that several of the officers had done some research on their own and all came up with the same basic conclusions. They had no real grounds to have me removed from either group because of
all of my documentation, etc as to the fact the I was a M@F transgendered person living full time as a female. One even mentioned a non pre-op transsexual, which I feel
that I am now.
Thus when I went to the Chatham artillery, not a word was said to me as to my status
other that I was still a member in good standing. The following Thursday, I was back in
Savannah for the SVG meeting and supper.. When I was signing the sheet of those
present, I was told to sign in as Barbara as they had changed my name in their roles.
Saturday, I received an invitation to the annual shrimp and beer party given by the CA
and there will be ladies present at the party. It was addressed to Barbara Marie Davidson. I suspect that the next thing I get will be an invitation addressed to Barbara Marie
20
to the “ladies Night” party given by the SVG on October 10th. Of course as the name of
the party states, there will be ladies present for that one as well. Just for grins and giggles, I will most probably watch my “p’s and q’s” if or when I go to the ladies room (not
that I don’t already do that).
So again, Ladies I say if you have problems or know that there might be a problem
with your life style, please remember that documentation is the name of the game.
Also remember that Lambda Legal is also a resource that is available. If the organization is an “all male organization”, then they might not be albe to do any thing but givey
the names of some TG friendly lawyers in your area. GOOD LUCK to all of you!
Barbara Marie Davidson
Tasi’s Musings, November, 2012
Greetings from Merida.
To those not familiar with Mexico and particularly the Yucatan
(the peninsula that juts into the Caribbean Sea), it is culturally different from the rest of Mexico, largely due to the Mayan influence.
The Mayan civilization encompassed the whole of the peninsula
and extended down into the Guatemalan highlands and on to the
Pacific.
The Mayan people date back to 1800 BC and were the last of the
Mexican tribes to be conquered by the Spanish in the late 1700s.
Their civilization saw the greatest decline however between 700900 AD for ecological reasons and perhaps the overhunting of megafauna. You have
probably heard of the ancient ruins at places like Uxmal and Chichen Itza which are
popular tourist attractions. Today Merida is the current center of the Yucatan and this
building to the right, the Gran Museo del Mundo Maya, was just completed to honor
and tell the history of the Mayan people.
It is also interesting that the concept of
gender in ancient Mayan culture is
ambiguous; the duality in their art is
explicit there being a male figure on one
side and a female figure on the other side.
Even though there is a sense of duality and
equality in the society there is also a lot of
evidence that women were considered the
superior. The mythology and power
21
associated with the ability to create life was one which men tried to emulate. Men
would participate in the act of bloodletting their own genitals to create something new
from their blood. The blood was allowed to drip on cloth, which was then burned.
Well on to the fun stuff. We managed to capture a few tidbits that you should fine
interesting.
In the News
LGBT History Month. October is LGBT History Month. The month of observance was
first organized in 1994 by high school teacher Rodney Wilson to coincide with National
Coming Out Day (Oct. 11) and was meant to highlight the lesbian, gay, bisexual and
transgender rights movement.
This is the 7th anniversary of LGBT History Month. Throughout the month, the Equality
Forum will highlight LGBT heroes in media, government and everyday life who have
had an impact on our civil rights movement. Visit www.thegavoice.com every day to
meet these LGBT leaders.
A Gallup survey shows 3.4% US citizens are LGBT. A survey of 121,000 Americans
has shown that 3.4% publicly identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. “This is
the largest single study of the distribution of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender
(LGBT) population in the US on record,’ said the authors of the report Gary J Gates
and Frank Newport in the introduction.
http://www.gallup.com/poll/158066/special-report-adults-identify-lgbt.aspx
The first transgender bellbird Down Under? Workers at
Zealandia, an eco-sanctuary in New Zealand, have announced that they've discovered the country's first transgender bellbird and they have dubbed it ''butch bellbird”.
Victoria University moult expert Ben Bell says that the
bird's plumage "could be due to a hormonal imbalance
or it could be a reaction to shock or an incomplete moult
— given the appearance and behaviour, any of those would be unusual though."
Among the "trans" characteristics staff noted to Stewart:
•
•
•
The bird has the white stripe "of a female on one side, but the dark body plumage
of a male."
When feeding, the bird "doesn't flit between flowers like a female, but moves more
deliberately, primed to defend attractive food resources."
•
* S/he "makes both male calls and the lively 'chup chup' of the female, but these are
22
are much louder and more frequent than is usual for females."
Anyone see an analogy to us
Maria Keisling, founding Executive Director of the National
Center for Transgender Equality, will be honored with the
2012 Virginia Prince Transgender Pioneer Award at Fantasia
Fair in Provincetown on October 16th. Fan Fair” is the
longest-running annual event in the transgender world. It is a
place where TG people and their SOs can learn, grow, play
and develop community. I would love to have a report from
anyone that attended this wonderful event.
TG Bathroom App. Using a public restroom might seem like a simple, if occasionally
disgusting, task: look for the familiar man and woman stick figures and help keep the
Starbucks bathroom line moving. But for the transgender community, the ritual is
riddled with anxiety and the constant threat of harassment, even violence. If you’re a
man who used to be a woman, or vice versa, or in the process of transitioning genders,
picking a door can be confusing. Going through that door can lead to anything from a
sideways glance to physical violence.
Enter TranSquat, a brand-new iPhone app that uses a vast database of gender-neutral
bathrooms across the United States and Canada—and now extending as far as
Kuwait—to point users to the closest safe restroom.
Well, someone is trying to help. Let me know if you find this useful.
Jesus was a Transvestite. This is not intended to offend or belittle anyone’s beliefs but
I did find this interesting. A police cordon has been put up to protect an exhibition
portraying Jesus Christ as a transvestite as fears arose it could provoke a riot.
The image, which portrays a version of the
Last Supper, shows Jesus Christ dressed in
women's clothes wearing high heels. Jesus is
surrounded by apostles wearing S&M objects
and lingerie.
The artwork, by controversial Swedish artist
Elisabeth Ohlson Wallin has been put under
armed police guard in Belgrade, Serbia. The
2,000 guards have surrounded the Ecco
Homo exhibition where the artwork resides
amid threats of mass protests and violence,
according to local sources.
23
City officials cancelled a planned Gay Pride march, which had been timed to coincide
with the exhibition after threats of violence by a far-right group Now we understand
why Muslims get upset when someone publicly burns a Koran.
Anthony Owen, TESCO checkout boy, becomes leggy transgender model. Spotty teen
Antony Owen had dreamt of getting out from behind the Tesco till but never had
chance until he became Lisa Heart - the transgender model.
Now Lisa - who has 34 inch long legs - is making a living
from glamorous photo shoots and artistic portraits and
she’s even become a hit with the men. The 32-year-old,
from Leighton Buzzard, Herts, said: “I was 18 when I
realized that I was meant to be a woman, and it was
another year before I could tell anyone. Due to copyright
restrictions you need to visit the site to see Lisa’s
pictures. http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/
features/4592539/supermarket-till-boy-now-leggy-model-calledLisa.html#ixzz2A4HmPdTI.
Fashion and Beauty
British home-shopping group N Brown Group Plc said a trial of its brands in the United
States had convinced the company it can take a slice of a plus-size ladieswear market
worth $35 billion. The Manchester-based group, targets older and larger shoppers with
brands such as Simply Be, Jacamo and Marisota. N Brown, whose High & Mighty
brand for instance offers sizes up to XXXXXL - equating to a 60-inch waist. Their
Marisota brand is focused on a 50-year-old customer in the UK and the U.S. On the
other hand, some Americans will look at the Simply Be catalogue and say ‘isn't this for
a customer in their twenties', whereas actually in the UK it's for someone in their late
thirties, early forties,". The company has found U.S. customers dress more casually
and, for their age, are less fashion-conscious than their UK counterparts.
This is a good point to stop and toot my own horn. I was just published in Repartee, a glossy TG lifestyle magazine published in
the UK but with worldwide distribution. It’s a quarterly magazine
of very high caliber, comparable to some of the glossies
produced in the U.S. in past decades. More information is here:
http://www.repartee.tv/. My article dealt with the differences
between American and British fashion. Buy an individual issue
and see for yourself.
And continuing on the line of plus-sized girls (aren’t most of us
size 14 and up) I hope you watch Marcy Guevara on the Hello
Style channel of You Tube and Yahoo. Her most recent video
talks about the popular plus-size fashion designers. Included in there is Simply Be
(noted above) along with us.asos.com, eshakti.com, jamesjeans.com and my personal
favorite Kiyonna. If you haven’t looked at the Kiyonna designs, go to their website at
24
http://www.kiyonna.com/ There isn’t a single outfit on the site that I don’t love and
guaranteed, you will look sexy in everything from jeans to a cocktail dress. Watch
Marcy’s video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
feature=player_profilepage&v=D1LA2flJ_6o
And my wife just found a new site for plus-size girls up to 9X (http://sanctuarie.net/) eg
80in bust and 94 in hips. Got it made now.
Corsets: The Newest Fashion Craze. Yes, unbelievable. If you
want that hourglass figure without dieting, here’s you answer
ladies. If you can wiggle into one of these waist-crunchers, they
are also very sexy and will get your juices flowing. Check out
these videos and by the way, lawyers wear them at trials
http://news.yahoo.com/video/2020-corsets-newest-fashioncraze-080000743.html
How to Wear and Lace a Corset:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zMc67CZVGM
How to Lace Up A Corset By Yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=eZJL8AVhp0I&feature=related
Lipstick Quiz. A swipe of lipstick can transform your look in seconds. From look-at-me
reds to barely-there balms, the color you wear conveys
your mindset and mood (Sexy? Subdued?). But finding the
most flattering tone takes a lot of lip pursing—and a
workout on your wallet. Avoid makeup missteps with our
customized lip tips based on your unique hair and
skintone, lip shape, shade and desired look.
Discover your best colors and application techniques along
with advice on how to play up your unique beauty Take
some of the other quizzes while you are there. .
http://www.youbeauty.com/quizzes/lipstick?
utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_term=Newsletter%20Full%
20List&utm_campaign=Lipstick%20Quiz%20-%2010%2F18%2F12%20-%20NEW%
20TEMPLATE&utm_content=A
What Do You Spend on Clothing? A recent study conducted in the UK says that
women there spend 1/5 of their salary on clothing. This shocked me as it’s a lot of
money to be spending to keep yourself looking great for your work. And it made me
think about the work I do and how often I see unnecessary purchases in women’s
closets as they buy clothes that don’t suit their personality, their body shape or their
coloring. And the clothes go basically unworn, as the owner knows that they’re not
quite right, but can’t let them go as they’ve spent hard earned money on them
25
It also brought up the value of a wardrobe – what is it worth? I read some research
from an insurance company that said that the average American wardrobe is worth
$18 000 (this includes shoes, underwear, scarves etc.) as that is the average payout
figure after a fire. Yet most women only wear 10- 20% of their clothes, which means
that at least $10 000 is mis-spent. Here’s what women
said
they spent.
less than 2% 27.22% (46 votes)
3-5% 28.4% (48 votes)
6-10% 21.3% (36 votes)
11-15% 7.1% (12 votes)
16-20% 6.51% (11 votes)
21-25% 2.96% (5 votes)
25-30% 2.96% (5 votes)
30-40% 1.78% (3 votes)
41% or more 1.77% (3 votes)
Humor.
If you are unfamiliar with Jeff Dunham, an American
ventriloquist and stand-up comedian, you have a treat in
store. Describing his characters, Time observes, "All of
them are politically incorrect, gratuitously insulting and ill
tempered.". Dunham has been credited with reviving
ventriloquism, and doing more to promote the art form than
anyone since Edgar Bergen. His introduction of Achmed the
Dead Terrorist in Spark of Insanity was ranked as the ninth
most watched YouTube video at the time.
So in this very special
episode of -- Achmed
is an American Woman! -- Minding the Monsters,
you’ll get a surprise ending. http://
www.youtube.com/watch?
v=VrIt6PdHoQM&feature=em-subs_digestnewavtr
So I would like to end this months musings
in a tribute to all my friends in Texas
Hugs to everyone …….Tasi
26
Humor
27
Thanksgiving Day Weather Forecast
In the pre-Thanksgiving rush, we have received an early weather report from our
in-house weather reporters. This is one, you should be sure to email your Mom.
Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near
190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a
severe squall or cold shoulder.
During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the
turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will
drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please
pass the gravy.
A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with
increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish
and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.
Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be
established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance
of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By
early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.
Oh Whatever am I to
do? So many people
have asked me to
come to their house
for dinner!
28
Angels In The Centerfold
Ginger
Lainey S Secret
Suzane Olivia
29
Tammy Trueheart
Alicia Rio
30
Kathy’s Korner
Coming Out
By: Kathy King
I came out to my wife 3 1/2 years ago, after 40 years of a wonderful marriage.
I got the usual comments - Are Gay?, is there something I did to make you this way, do
you love me? There was crying and anger on both our parts.
I tried to tell her I was Trans Gendered and a Cross Dresser not Trans Sexual and tried
to explain the difference with all type of articles and books. I tried to tell her that this
compulsion started when I was 5 or 6 and has never stopped. The compulsion hadbeen stifled into my mind but would come out when the opportunity was there. If
clothes, under ware cosmetics were left out and the coast was clear, my female self
would be free to lavish myself in femininity. After, guilt and anger would follow and I
would put back the garments as best I could. My wife just looked at me eyes closed,
shaking her head back and forth. The next question was who's clothes have you worn?
The tears came to my eyes and visibly started to shake and said "my Moms, Aunts and
Yours.
My wife is very old school and 'Straight Laced", so I expected the worse "Get Out" but
that didn't happen, thank God. She read some of the research that I had gathered, not
saying a word. The next utterance was "I Love You, I married a man not a women" and
you are a good man and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Talk about a gasp
of relief, but then the hammer fell. She started to talk after about 5 minutes of silence.
"If you except my terms nothing will change. The terms are, that you never dress in
front of our family or me. If you disgrace us "pack your bags".
The biggest question was, Where do we go from here?
My wife has allowed me a large closet for all my clothes, a large ceiling to floor mirror
in one of our bedrooms. I have told her that I've had make overs and belong to a couple of TG networks and have asked her to see some of my Kathy photo's, all she
would say is "NO".
I try and breach the subject every 6 months or so, but she never wavers.
I guess I am the situation as in the military Don't Ask Don't Tell".
We are now married for 44 years and still a loving couple with a wonderful children and
a burch of darling grand kids.
31
I am not going to rock the boat, there is to much to lose, but I still get out when I can as
Kathy Ann. It's not the best situation for me but i's the best situation for my family.
I know some of my hard core sisters will say I am a wimp and I should be out 100%,
answer to them is that, you have to walk in my shoes
and lose so much Love.
All My Love,
Kathy Ann
The Adventures of Judy
Sometimes
By: Judy Danials
Fall Colors and Bar Hop
It’s been a tradition for my wife and I to take a fall color tour of our area and for the last
several years I have been doing this dressed. Last year our friends Jack and Jane
joined us so we invited them along this year too.
Since our starting point was from our cabin Jack and Jane arrived about 1:00 to get
things stated. The best colors are within about 30 minutes of our cabin so our tour included some of the Ottertail County Scenic Byway and many of the lake roads between Cormorant Village and Battle Lake.
Our first glimpse of natures beauty was on Fish Lake Road just north of where we are
located. This 5 mile stretch runs around the south end of Pelican Lake, one of Ottertail
counties most prestigious areas. Up next was a favorite of mine, Lake Melissa. As a
youth I spent many summers exploring the roads that encompass this lake on my
Schwinn Stingray. I have many fond memories of the cabin we rented on Fern Beach.
Along with the tradition of the fall color tour comes a bar hop. Jack and Jane are frequent patrons of Duffy’s, the bar I often mention in my posts, and they enjoy this part of
the tour even more than we do. The first watering hole on our list was County 17, a
place we affectionately call a "SHIT HOLE" with its chipboard interior and rather disgusting bathrooms. On the upside they serve great food and strong drinks.
It’s not unusually for us to run into people we know and our first stop was no exception.
Our friend Jack is a local radio personality in Fargo so he seems to know everybody
including the owners of County 17, Dick and Joy, as we do. Neither are real comfort-
32
able with me being dressed, but when it comes right down to it, my money is as green
as the next.
The next part of our tour took us back south on Highway 59 to a gravel road called the
Lost Highway. Along this 6 mile stretch are many road side ponds that are surrounded
by trees. The colors this time of year are simply spectacular in the background along
with the reflections.
Up next on the bar hop was Billy’s, a popular lake spot in Vergas, MN. My wife and I
have been going there for years, but up until this point I had never been there dressed.
With the Vikings playing, free chili and bingo after the place was packed. We did manage to find a booth in the center of the bar and to my surprise I didn't even get a second look, even when I used the ladies restroom. We all ordered cocktails, then took
advantage of the free chili along with an order of waffle fries. If we had not been on a
color tour we would have likely stayed to play bingo, at least the games of Blackout.
The next leg of our journey would be the longest, about 45 minutes; it took us around
Maplewood State Park and across Stony Bar that divides north and south Lake Lida,
where we purchased our first cabin some 20 years ago. This area is full of Maples,
which gives us that cherry red color that everyone seems to favor up here in the northland.
Our last stop with Jack and Jane would be a place called the Otter, in where else, Ottertail, MN. Again, the place was quite busy, but no one seemed to give me a second
look. We decided to throw $ 20 in the jars to see if we could recouped what we spent
on drinks earlier in the day, but alas, it wasn't to be. By now it was nearly 6:00 so we
said our goodbyes and parted ways.
Since we had about a 40 mile drive back to our cabin Tracy and I figured a couple
more stops couldn't hurt so we stopped in Dent, MN at a place called Peg Legs, known
for its famous slogan. "I got Bent in Dent and the Pelican, just a short drive to our
cabin. The latter of the two bars proved to be the most interesting as it was filled with
drunk, horny men who seemed determined to pick up the two "hot chicks" who had just
arrived. For the record we went home with each other, lol, but we did get free drinks.
Judy (the colors are fading) sometimes
33
Mellissalynn’s Tips & Tricks
Hi, girls! How was your Halloween? I hope you had a great time of it. I’d tell you more
about mine, but as it’s not actually Halloween as I write this, I have nothing to tell…yet!
I entered a contest for Joico hair products, looking for 80s hair styles. My entry is the
collage below.
Beauty school is going well! So far, I’ve learned how to cut hair and am slowly getting
better at it, how to roll perms, and how to use the flatiron and the curling irons. Oh,
and how to do roller sets, let’s not forget that one.
Here’s a new sample of my work so far; this was done
with the flatiron, after using a round brush to blow dry. I
think Vanessa looks pretty good here!
Let me know what you think of Vanessa, or share your
Halloween stories, or what youthink ofmy 80s hair, or any
other stories you want to pass along. You can do this by
e-mailing me [email protected] . I’d love to
hear from you!
And now, back to our regularly scheduled column…
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@@@@@@@@@@@@
To keep your color in place, fill the entire lip with neutral pencil before applying lipstick.
If necessary, roll the tip in the palm of your hand to warm it up and prevent hard lines.
@@@@@@@@@@@@
Another great tip from beauty school! Avoid rubbing your wet hair with a towel to dry it.
Drying your hair this way opens up the cuticle (the outer layer of your hair) and causes
damage. Instead, squeeze water out with your hands, then pat or blot it dry,
@@@@@@@@@@@@
Turn any lip color into a shimmery new shade: Swipe sheer golden gloss over lipstick—it instantly warms up every color.
@@@@@@@@@@@@
Over the next few articles, ladies, I'm going to talk about some great tricks to do with
your eyes to make them fab-u-lous! We're going to start with one of the simpler ones,
creating the doe-eyed look. This lengthens both theupper and lower lashes and opens
your eyes up to create a more youthful look. By using pastel colors, your lashes will
really pop as well.
The first thing to do is to apply a pastel color such as a petal pink, mint green, sky blue,
or a shimmery lilac to your lid and brow bone. If you want to build up your lashes a bit,
use a lash primer on both upper and lower lashes, then sweep a lash-bulking fiber
mascara across both upper and lower lashes. Note: this look doesn't require eye liner.
@@@@@@@@@@@@
Turn any lipstick into a durable stain by blotting, reapplying, then blotting again to remove excess oils. Blot with lint-free blotting paper rather than tissue for a more natural,
long-lasting look.
@@@@@@@@@@@@
This is a pro tip for getting tangles out of your hair. When you’re blow-drying your hair,
separate tangles with your fingers until the hair is about 75-80 percent dry, then try
brushing. You want to make sure your fingers glide through hair effortlessly before introducing a brush to wet or even damp hair. This is also how you avoid breakage.
@@@@@@@@@@@@
This trick will give you what's called a powdered lip look. Start with a pale pink shade,
then dust translucent powder on top for a matte effect.
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@@@@@@@@@@@@
Ponytails, no matter if they’re high or low, are perfectly precise and chic and not that
gym-wearing pony you’ve been trying to pass off as fashionable. Put some effort and
styling into the look. It will only take a few minutes and you’ll look like you just stepped
off the runway.
Start by preparing your hair with a light serum to add shine. Pull your hair back, using a
flat brush to get hair smooth, and secure it with a band. Take a lightweight hairspray
and spray lightly.
To smooth down the surface and prevent those pesky bumps, spritz some hairspray
onto a clean toothbrush (or a small hard bristle brush) and run it over the surface of
your pony tail to get rid of those annoying little flyaways. There it is, a picture-perfect,
beautiful ponytail!
@@@@@@@@@@@@
This is a great tip to remember when
you’re doing pictures. It's not just
black that makes you look thinner.
Wearing an entire outfit of just one
color will do the trick as well, whether
it be white, beige, brown, blue or red.
One color tends to elongate your figure.
@@@@@@@@@@@@
Wendy sent in this incredibly useful
tip. She writes, “Most women should
keep two different foundation colors in
their makeup kits, one for summer and
one for winter. Most likely, the light
tinted moisturizer or foundation that
you relied on all summer is too sheer
for your skin in the winter, or might be
too dark, because in summer we tend
to have tanned skin. In winter, most
women should opt for a super moisturizing foundation (unless you suffer
from oily skin, in which case, oil-free foundations are your best bet).” Thanks, Wendy!
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@@@@@@@@@@@@
Every winter my skin gets super dry and itchy. If you suffer from thi as well, here are a
few tips to keeping your skin soft and supple. Start by investing in a humidifier. Unless
you live in a humid area like some parts of the South or the Pacific Northwest, likely the
air is dry this time of year. I keep a humidifier in my house and it's helped immensely.
Next, look for a thick body & facial moisturizer. You generally want a thicker moisturizer
in winter than in summer or spring. Your lips are especially vulnerable this time of
year, so keep them hydrated with Vaseline. Apply a thick layer of Vaseline to lips and
exfoliate with an old toothbrush in a circular motion. Lastly try taking lukewarm showers, then hydrate with coconut oil.
@@@@@@@@@@@@
When applying your mascara, try to wait about five seconds before blinking. This will
help to avoid getting ‘mascara dots’ all along your eyelid. Also, double-check your lids
before going out. There’s a good chance that you’ll find an error that’s easily fixable in
private rather than having it seen in public.
@@@@@@@@@@@@
Here's another beauty school tip. When you use curling irons or flat irons often, you
are at risk of frying your hair. Once your hair is fried, there's really no option but to cut
off the frayed bits. To protect your hair from hot tools, comb in a healthy dollop of
smoothing cream to damp hair. Almost all hair companies have creams to protect hair
from heat. Also, invest in a ceramic flat iron which will straighten a section of hair in
one sweep instead of the many sweeps a cheap flat iron will cause.
Hair dryers can also cause damage to your hair. For those of you who use blow dryers, invest in an ionic one. You'll find your hair dries much faster and the cool shot of
air the ionic dryer provides helps prevent damage.
@@@@@@@@@@@@
So you were watching an awards show the other night and saw those to-die-for red
carpet nude lips all the stars are currently sporting, the ones that go oh-so-perfectly
with the smoky eye look? If you're wondering how to get them yourself, have no fears,
nude lips were not made for celebrities only. The secret lies in choosing a lip shade
that's closest to your natural skin tone. A bit of gloss placed over the lipstick adds the
perfect bit of shine. You can then play up your eyes and add a swipe of bronzer to
make your skin glow.
@@@@@@@@@@@@
This tip is for the girl who’s going in for her first-ever manicure. Have you payment and
tip, and your car keys, readily accessible before you get your polish applied! This will
37
help prevent chipping your new look five minutes after finishing it.
@@@@@@@@@@@@
With winter coming on, many women use bronzers more frequently. Bronzer is a staple for any woman's makeup kit. It can make your skin look sun-kissed even when it's
protected with sunscreen. It can also wake up tired, pasty skin. Here are a few triedand-true tips for proper application:
Bronzer looks best when it's applied lightly to all the spots where the sun naturally
shines (the forehead, cheeks, nose and chin). Remember not to go too dark with it,
though. Most companies sell light, medium and dark bronzers. Choose a shade that's
no more than two shades darker than your skin. I once made the mistake of buying
bronzer that came in a quad of four colors. The darkest was WAY too dark for my skin!
Also, keep in mind that you'll likely need a different shade in winter than summer. If
you're fair and sunburn easily, peach or pink bronzers are a great choice. Copper
shades are nice on olive skin tones, while darker shades are perfect for dark skin.
Avoid orange shades, which can look unnatural.
If you have normal or oily skin, powder-based bronzer is best. Use a short, fluffy blush
brush to apply, but first blow any excess bronzer off your brush; otherwise, you risk going overboard with color. For dry skin, cream- or gel-based bronzers work best. Apply
it with your finger or a sponge. As with most cream-based beauty products, it's important to blend it into your skin very well, or you risk looking like a clown.
Bronzer alone can appear dull. For a dewy look, apply cream blush to the apples of
your cheeks. The combination of bronzer and cream blush is absolutely gorgeous.
@@@@@@@@@@@@
If you aren't happy with the size or look of your nose, you can make it appear smaller
with a couple of nifty makeup tricks. These are especially useful when taking pictures.
First, take a foundation that's a couple shades darker than your regular foundation and
apply it on either side of your nose. Make sure to blend it in well. You want to create
the appearance of a shadow. Next, take a highlighting pen, which you can find at most
department store makeup counters, and swipe it down the bridge of the nose. The contrast of light versus dark does wonders for your nose!
@@@@@@@@@@@@
This is a neat little tip of my own creation for helping to hide beard shadow. Swipe a
SMALL amount of baby powder onto a blush brush and apply it over your beard area.
The powder will coat the hair stubble under the skin and lighten its color, making it easier to hide with foundation.
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@@@@@@@@@@@@
And with that, ladies, I close my second-to-last column for 2012. I hope that you all
find something useful in this month’s column, and if you do, please share it with us all!
To all of my fellow veterans in our readership, I want to say happy Veteran’s Day and
thank you all for the service to our country. To everyone, I want to wish you a happy
Thanksgiving. I hope you are able to spend it with family and/or friends. If you’re able
to be your feminine, beautiful womanly self while doing so, so much the better!
If you have stories of your November holidays to share, or any tips or tricks, you know
I’m always available. E-mail me at [email protected], and I’ll happily share
whatever you have to say, and always give you a personal reply.
See you all next month!
39
7 Trends Every Woman Can Wear
No more excuses, ladies-you can pull off that romper. We teamed up with Refinery29's
Neha Gandhi to give you a list of looks every woman can work. The lesson here: Take a
chance! The results will surprise you. By Alexa Tucker, REDBOOK.
Trend #1: Maxi Dress
A maxi dress is a hassle-free way to look pulled-togetherwithout too much effort. Neha Gandhi, Refinery29's deputy
editor, says, "A floor skimming hem gives you a lean,
statuesque look - just be sure to go for one that doesn't
have too much gathered fabric, so you don't feel like you're
drowning in it." Dress it down with flat sandals and a topknot, or dress it up with a blazer and a fun necklace. The
possibilities are endless!
Trend #2: Blue Eye Makeup
Blue eye makeup doesn't have to remind you of
your 10-year-old self digging around your mom's
bathroom drawers. Gandhi says, "Adding a
sweep of color across your lid or just lining your
eyes with navy feels fresh and fun, particularly for
summer, and it makes pretty much every eye
color pop."
Trend #3: Daytime Clutches
We're not talking miniscule prom pieces,
but Gandhi describes switching your carryall to a big clutch as "an exercise in editing
and sloughing off the excesses." Ditching
your usual crossbody isn't just a selfimprovement trick, though: "In a sea of
totes and shoulder bags, a bright envelope
clutch stands out in a special way," says
Gandhi.
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Trend #4: Neon
Add some interest to an otherwise-plain outfit by including
a pop of neon. Gandhi mentions, "We're big proponents of
highlighter-hued heels around the Refinery29 offices-they
give any outfit a shot of color (and fun!), but they're not
over the top." Take a leap of faith and add a neon necklace to an LBD or step out in fluorescent flats and a bright
belt. If you're feeling bold, go for a bright skirt or jacket.
Trend #5: Mixed Prints
If you're the stylish-but-safe type, pairing prints can be
intimidating, but don't let fear get the best of you. Gandhi shares her pattern-blending technique: "Start out
pairing only two prints, making sure that only one of
them is the dominant one (so, stripes and mini flowers
that feel quieter are a great starting point) and that both
of the printed pieces are tied together with a similar
base color (so maybe your stripes are navy and white
and your florals are on a navy backdrop). Fail-proof."
Trend #6: Jumpsuits
Every woman should embrace the jumpsuit trend. Gandhi
says, "I love that you can run your errands all around town
without worrying that an errant wind will blow your skirt up
over your head." Short rompers are a great place to start, but
don't be afraid to take it a step further. Neha shares, "I'm a big
fan of the pants version of this look. It feels a little bit dressier,
especially with a great pair of heels."
Trend #7: Bangs
If you're ready for a change in your look, it might be time to give
bangs a chance. Gandhi advises, "Whether you want a blunt
fringe or just a side-sweep, adding a little interest right at your
face is the easiest way to transform your look without chopping
all of your hair off or going nuts with color."
41
I Love That Dress But It’s From China
Tasi Zuriack |
I normally love to talk just about fashion and how we use fashion to create that personal style that leads to your special brand of femininity, but some recent experiences
in searching for quality clothing online has left a surprising sour taste in my mouth over
all the bad customer experiences, poor product quality and well, just plain untruths
from many vendors, and especially those in the Far East. So why do we need to talk
about this?
Well, let’s say you went online and found just the perfect
special occasion dress, a bridal outfit, a prom dress, or
maybe just a special costume to fulfill one of your fantasies, Ah! And look at that special price . . . I just saved
$200 or more, and I love the beading, and turquoise is
my very favorite color. So I order through PayPal for a 3
week delivery time.
Well three weeks go by and still no dress, so I contact
the vendor. Oh, yes, we did ship and here’s the tracking
number. Well unfortunately a tracking number for China Post only works in China
(surprise, surprise). The same is true for other countries as well. But you were going to
use an express carrier. We did, China Express. Okay, so I grumble a bit but with the
assurances that my package will soon arrive.
And finally it comes and I’m so excited as I tear open the package and hold up the
dress of my dreams. Except that’s it so crumpled that I doubt even the dry cleaner will
get all those wrinkles out. And wait, it’s not turquoise, but purple, and this beading that
made the dress so special is barely attached, and the lace shawl that was part of the
purchase is missing.
Well, of course, I immediately email the vendor and well, you know how colors are not
true to life on the computer, and I’m sure you can find a seamstress to reattach the
beading . . . you know that happens in shipping sometimes. Oh, the shawl was out of
stock.
Now, least you think I’m making this up, this story is repeated many times over when
42
you read customer reviews about their online purchases. And oh! IT GETS WORSE.
Here are just a few more examples of quality issues.
•
•
•
•
Not as described
Missing pieces
Wrong color (not what they had in stock when the dress was made)
Wrong size (even with measurements given)
• Rips and poor stitching
• Fabric so sheer that well, everything underneath shows
Burns (was she smoking when she made the dress?)
Without a doubt, poor manufacturing is a major problem and one to which there really
isn’t a ready solution other than “Buyer Beware”. You are not likely to get your money
back either, so those savings become like a puff of smoke — fast disappearing if you
can’t wear the dress. Or whatever your purchase might be.
But they have “return policies”. Hope you have a law degree when trying to interpret
those return policies. Most have a set number of days to return an item and some have
times that start when you make the purchase – not when you receive it. Then there’s
the never-ending back and forth with customer service ending in OOPS! The return period has expired.
There was one incident, and believe me, this is real.
The belt was missing. Sorry-out of stock. The
sleeves are puffy, not straight. Sorry, wrong picture.
I’d like my money back. Sorry, but we already paid
the dressmaker. This went on for several weeks. Finally – well then, I’ll just return the dress. Sorry, the
return period has expired . . .
PayPal is the frequent method of payment. It’s fast
and it’s easy. But when you have problems with the vendor, PayPal, unlike credit card
companies will not get involved. This is not a condemnation of PayPal. They are a
transaction processing company and nothing more, and their payment mechanisms
work well. Just be aware that your money is at risk if the vendor does not provide you
what you think you bought.
43
Vendors also post pictures of items that they do not have (and never did) and their
rampant misinformation is frustrating and hurtful. Then you have “Bait and Switch”
which large companies with multiple product lines utilize to get clothing buyers to buy
electronic goods with their corresponding higher markups. This is really annoying.
Now here’s one that I have difficulty understanding in this modern technological age . .
. search engines that don’t work. Computers as you know are very specific and if you
put a dot instead of a dash, it may not find what you are looking for. Or more so, the
description is something other than what the vendor has named it. I’ve even used the
description in a stores advertising and their search engine could not find it. It could be
something as simple as clip earring versus clip-on earring. Good search engines like
Google and Yahoo will suggest alternate spellings. I guess only large companies have
access to this technology. Well, maybe not. Amazon has problems too. Apparently the
technology used in their book selection process never made it over to the clothing side.
Did you know that according to a recent survey 1 in 3 people don’t think that complaining is worth the effort. For small value purchases perhaps that is true, but to be out
several hundred dollars is another matter, not including the disappointment and lost
time and money.
If this was a domestic purchase there are steps you can follow to turn a negative situation into a positive outcome. Traditional advice centering around keeping records,
speaking to management, and acting calmly may often work, but in dealing with foreign
companies, particularly those that have learned all the marketing tricks and processes
for keeping their money, you need to exercise due diligence before you purchase.
First, check out the consumer experience with the vendor. Even the better foreign companies run higher complaint rates than domestic suppliers, but a 20% complaint rate is
still better than an 80% complaint rate. Top sales executives across industries have
told us that the sales model is broken in most retail companies. Instead of building
profitable long-term customer relationships, most sales associates and customer service personnel focus just on transactions.
Here are some sources for checking out possible suppliers:
TrustPilot.com
Top Consumer Reviews
Rip-offReport.com
SiteJabber.com
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Epinions.com
The next step is to really understand what you are buying. Be
specific on the details, measurements, and specifications of
the purchase and get confirmation from the vendor. This involves a little more work than filling out an online purchase
form and clicking the Buy Now button. Email customer service
and confirm the details and availability of the items including
any accessories being purchased separately. Be knowledgeable on the shipping options and their cost.
But if all else fails and you still experience a failure in service,
there are options. How to complain is a fine art unto itself and if you need help, we
suggest you start at How to Complain. This comprehensive site provides much information and resources. For domestic vendors, you can file a complaint with the FTC
online; use the agency’s Complaint Assistant form. There is some general information
here.
For a foreign vendor, there is less satisfaction but the page for accessing the complaint
form also has a link to the econsumer.gov site for registering a complaint against an
entity in another country.
So, be aware and be smart least you join that increasingly larger group of consumers
that are being ripped-off with little or no recourse. Happy Shopping.
45
Closets
By: Randy
Since I retired a year ago, my wife and I have been preparing our house to put on the
market. The two of us really don’t need a house as big as ours for just the two of us,
and we are thinking of moving to a condo where when we want to go, we can just lock
the door and let someone else worry about the
lawn. To that end there are many little fix it jobs
that I have been engaged in.
We have a loft area that overlooks our living
room. When we moved in, there was a small
closet in the loft that was of not much use for
anything.
One of my first improvements was to enlarge the
closet into the attic space behind it and over the
garage to make a nice walk in storage closet with
shelves and a hanging bar. At that time, my home
improvement skills were not at a high skill level.
The bar and shelf above were sloppy and
sagged. It has always been one of those things
that have nagged at me over the years that I
should redo it. In the background of the attached
photo you can see that my skills have improved
over the years as I did almost all of the work finishing off my basement. Floors, walls, cabinets,
everything.
So to work I went, clearing out everything, tearing
down the old bar, salvaging what I could, hitting
Lowe’s for new lumber and fasteners, fill in dents and holes, sand, paint, and on and
on. So much work for a space that no one will ever see.
Spending so much time in that closet allowed me time to think. Always a dangerous
thing, but I imagine you can see where I am going with this. We, as transgender individuals, know all too well about closets. Just as my loft closet in the beginning was
less than spectacular, it was functional and served a purpose so too have our selfconstructed TG closets served a purpose.
Just as I am doing now with the loft closet, over the years we have gone into that selfimposed TG closet and purged everything out, only to rebuild it making it cleaner,
46
prettier, more functional. The problem is that it is still a closet, not to be seen by
anyone, used primarily to hide things away, and only to get cluttered over the years.
The thing is that closets are for storing things in, not for living in.
So eventually, we begin to take things out of the closet into the light of day and use
them as intended. Maybe we take small steps at first. Possibly you take a walk around
the block in the black of night or a drive around the neighborhood. Eventually we get
the courage to take that drive during the day
For me the first time I was ever around other individuals was a Tri-Ess meeting at the
home of our president Jamie Renae. I still didn’t have the courage to walk out of that
hotel room dressed, and dressed at her home. I still remember the fear, sitting in that
hotel room, dressed in drab, knees shaking, thinking about what I was about to do.
Yet that closet was becoming too confining, so I forced myself up picked up my duffle
that contained my makeup kit, wig, hose, bra, forms, and all the other accoutrements
to transform into the woman I wanted to show the world along with the garment bag
with my skirt and top. I was sure that everyone that saw me knew where I was going
and why. However, the thrill that I got when I walked out into Jamie’s living room and
her wife told me how pretty I looked is an experience that I will never forget.
Since that time I have had many more first time experiences. The first time that I traveled from the hotel
to the meeting site. The first time that I went shopping
with Jamie enfemme and later garnering the courage
to go alone. The first time I ate out with some girls
from a group in Iowa. All things that I would not have
experienced had I stayed in my little closet. No matter
how pretty you decorate it, or how well the lighting is,
your still alone in there. I have found that the world
isn’t quite as frightening as I once thought it was. Most
people are pretty accepting or really don’t care. The
sales associates have been very accomodating and
fun to work with, even if shopping en drab. I have
finally reached the point to let them know I’m shopping for me and ask if I can try things on. One place I
shop, the assistant manager insists on giving me a
hug when I come in. All because I have dared to step out of that closet. It sure is fun
being a girl in that big wonderful world! If you have comments, let me know at
[email protected]. You know a girl loves to chat.
47
How to Make Your Legs Look Amazing
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Lucille Sorella is a GG (genetic girl)
who teaches crossdressers, transsexuals, and transgender females
how to look, act, and feel like real women. Her goal is to help Twomen express their inner and outer femininity and increase their
confidence as women. She has a professional background in fashion, beauty, dance, and natural healing and has been working with
the transgender community for the past 12 years. Her website is
loaded with useful information and is located at
http://www.flat2fem.com/index1.html .
Nothing is hotter than a great
pair of legs – and you’re in luck
since most crossdressers and
transgender women have
gorgeous, defined legs.
(I’m jealous!)
How can you make your legs
your BEST feminine asset?
Keep reading to discover 3 ways
to make your legs look amazing
1. Add some color
Smooth, tanned legs are SEXY legs. But what if
you have pale legs marred with scars, bruises,
and visible veins? Pantyhose are a no-no in
the summertime – instead, add color and cover
imperfections with a tan (either a real tan or a
spray tan) or leg makeup.
I’m a huge fan of Sally Hansen Salon Airbrush
Legs Leg Makeup. It’s like sexy spray-on
pantyhose that gives you perfect legs. Love it!
48
2. Show off your legs in sexy shoes
The right shoes can take your legs from
good to GREAT. Anything goes as long as
you keep these two tips in mind:
Go high, but not TOO high. High heels
make your legs look sexy and super
feminine, but be careful not to go too high
if you have very defined legs. The higher
the heel, the more your calf muscles contract. This can make your legs look overly
muscular and masculine.
Choose a rounded toe. Square toe shoes make legs look stumpy, while pointy toes
add unwanted inches to the feet. Round toe shoes will give you the long-leg/dainty-foot
look you’re going for.
3. Choose the right skirt length
When it comes to showing off your legs in a skirt, shorter is NOT always better. How
short is too short? Try the finger length test: Stand up straight and put your arms to
your side. If your fingertips fall past the hem of your skirt, it’s too short.
You should also avoid skirts that are too long. Calf length skirts tend to look dowdy –
besides, we want to see those gorgeous gams! The most flattering skirt lengths are
from mid thigh to just above or just below the knee.
Don’t: Too short
Don’t: Too long
Do: Fingertip length or longer
49
My Journey Towards
Learning to Love
Recently I was invited to deliver a sermon at our local
Metropolitan Community Church. Like Atlanta’s MCC, this
church welcomes and demonstrates love to everyone,
attracting a large representation from the LGBT
community, who often feel uncomfortable, condemned, or
rejected by more mainstream churches. As one of only a
few cross-dressers in the church, I have myself been challenged to learn to adapt,
understand and love others who live and embrace lifestyles with which I have difficulty
relating, just as they have been learning to understand, accept, and love me. It has
been an exciting, growing experience for all of us. The church has surprised me by
inviting me not only to attend as Rhonda, but to lead services. I have read scripture
from the pulpit, assisted in delivering communion, and played piano for services and
for a holy union of a lesbian couple. I have also participated in Bible studies. This
extreme inclusiveness has dramatically conveyed to me the love of the church and
acceptance of all, even an “outsider”. But being invited by the pastor to give a sermon
was for me one of the highest honors. It demonstrated his trust in someone who, in
past days, would never have been comfortable gathering with such a crowd, let alone
daring to know or care about them as individuals or as a church.
I focused on the two greatest commandments, which Christ said encompassed all law
and prophecy (Matthew 22: 34-40):
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with
all your mind;
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
While this may seem easy to do, it has been a tremendously difficult process for me,
something I have only begun to grasp since meeting my Sig Ep sisters in 2009, the
first time I had ever fully dressed or met another cross-dresser. I expected my first
encounter to be shocking, to confront folks focused on the same deviant behavior I felt
had “infected” me. I never envisioned meeting sensitive, caring people, with issues and
feelings much like mine, people interested in having clean fun, in supporting and loving
each other and serving church and community. I quickly discovered the truth of the
principle espoused in Matthew 7:1-5:
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will
be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look
at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your
50
own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’
when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank
out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your
brother’s eye.”
I realized that I had been wrongly judging myself and others, believing myself to be
well-intended in guiding others to truth, when it was in fact me who needed to deal with
my own prejudices, to remove the log from my own eye before tending to specks in
others’ eyes.
As I realized my own errors in judgment I opened my mind to the possibility that others
really didn’t have it “wrong”; they simply had different perspectives on truth. I came to
realize that everyone has unique gifts and perspectives, to be shared with any who
would but observe.
With a daughter considered a “black sheep” by some in the family, a hippie out of time,
I didn’t have to look far to find someone with very different perspectives on life. I
opened my mind to enable her to convey her truths to me, determining to seriously
consider that her perspectives had more merit than mine. I allowed her to introduce me
to friends and activities which had heretofore made me uncomfortable, giving her
license to spend a week with me as she chose, my only boundary being that I would
not do anything unhealthy or illegal. Even my counselor doubted the wisdom of that
move. But it paid big dividends. Instead of seeing things I’d be inclined to condemn
and avoid, I discovered a wealth of treasures by interacting proactively with my
daughter and her friends. A fresh bond developed with my daughter. I found I could
learn new, exciting things from her and her friends, many of whom I previously
dismissed as “space cadets”. Perhaps my previous objective of removing specks from
others’ eyes was indeed misguided. Perhaps the specks were only chips falling off my
own log.
My journey increasingly led me, a consummate introvert, to become more extroverted,
as I hungered to relate to, and even genuinely care for people I previously considered
unapproachable or perhaps unworthy of my attention. Experiences with my daughter
and her friends and with my sisters at Sig Ep extended to other relationships. I thirsted
to better understand myself and to know and support others, particularly those in or
associated with the TG community, folks I knew were commonly misunderstood, often
unloved, and would routinely face prejudices, rejection, and other pressures as a
result. I found friends in Atlanta and locally and began to build liasons between them,
myself, and the churches in both cities, Opportunities to get involved with others in
positive ways multiplied. Support groups began to spring up. Lives began to change as
love broke through on all sides.
I began to realize that something that started as a lark, a self-challenge to meet this
odd Atlanta sorority, had led me to better comprehend the truth of the commandment
to “love your neighbor as yourself” and that the other commandment, to love God, depended upon absorbing and incorporating that truth into my life. Furthermore, I realized
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it was not my effort that made this possible. Rather, it was the love exhibited to me by
the grace of God, working through my sisters at Sig Ep, my daughter and friends, and
the churches, before I had concluded to accept them in turn. I began to realize the
truths expressed in 1 John 4:19-21: “We love because He first loved us. If anyone
says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his
brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has
given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.”
It is interesting to me that in the narrative preceding Christ’s proclamation of the
greatest commandments Christ had been challenged by those desiring to discredit and
even execute him for spreading falsehoods, failing to honor and espouse accepted
truths. Spouse and friends accuse me of being “abnormal”, suggesting I need to
change who I feel I am because this surely cannot be what God intended, “cure” my
desire to cross-dress, and advise those in my path that they are leading sinful lives and
need to repent of their ways and return to truth. But is being “normal” a desirable goal?
Was Christ “normal”? … Einstein? Where would we be without “abnormal” people,
people who see the universe in different ways than most? Another term I often hear is
“weird.” But the dictionary gives “eccentric” as a synonym. I can live with that, can’t
you? And if I can live with my own idiosyncracies, shouldn’t I be able to accept and
even enjoy the same in others?
Summing up my conclusions on the process of learning to love:
Realize that we can love because we are loved. I know an attorney who, after 10
years of intense Bible study told me he all he ever needed to know was conveyed in a song learned in vacation Bible school: “Jesus loves me this I know,
for the Bible tells me so.”
An initial step is to recognize our blindness, those beliefs thrust on us by family,
church, society, etc. which may have no basis in fact and can truly hinder us
from loving self and others.
Discover and love ourselves as the creatures we were created to be, not the creatures we would ourselves author if playing God.
Learn to seek out the unique gifting of others, accepting, welcoming, and loving
others for who they are, and by doing so, honoring and loving their creator.
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The Gossip Fence
Transgender in the News
ACLU appeals judge's denial of name change for sex-change patient
OKLAHOMA CITY - The American Civil Liberties Union of Oklahoma on Thursday appealed
a judge's refusal to let an Oklahoma City resident who is in the process of a sex change have a
feminine name. The ACLU filed the appeal at the Oklahoma Supreme Court.
Oklahoma County District Judge Bill Graves on Aug. 30 refused to let James Dean Ingram, 29,
legally change to the name Angela Renee Ingram. Ingram told the judge in a petition that the
reason for the name change request was "transition from male to female." Ingram said the judge
stated, "You can't change what God gave you."
Ingram plans to have gender-reassignment surgery. Ingram already presents as a woman, is
seeing a therapist and is taking hormones. The judge told The Oklahoman: "If you're born
male, you stay male, according to the study I've done on DNA. If you're born female, you stay
female."
He denied both requests because he said they were made for a fraudulent purpose.
Gender markers dropped for new voter IDs
In an unprecedented step announced this week, Pennsylvania’s new state-issued voter
identification card will not include a gender marker. The revelation was made Tuesday during
a Commonwealth Court hearing on the contentious new law, which would require voters to
present a valid government ID each time they vote.
Voters will also not need to present proof of residence to obtain the card.
While the card will be marked for “voting-purposes only,” Rosenblum said its significance cannot be overlooked. “If a transgender person goes to a bar, the bouncer is not going to look at
the ID and turn them away because the card is for voting. This will be a government-issued ID
card with your name and your picture. It’s a way for transgender people to have an ID card and
not have to worry about it having an inconsistent gender.”
Rosenblum said he was “stunned” that the change was made so quietly, with little fanfare.
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Casa Ruby Covergirls
A local makeup artist who recently launched his new brand of cosmetics is giving back to the
local LGBT community, offering makeup and fashion instruction, as well as giving a share of
proceeds from his nail-polish line to LGBT community center Casa Ruby
The artist, Eduardo Carcamo officially launched his new cosmetics brand, V*Glam Cosmetics
Sept. 21, offering various types of lipstick, lip liner, eyeliner and eye shadow. He will also
launch a line of men's skincare products Nov. 1. But Carcamo's biggest impact, as far as the
D.C. metropolitan area's LGBT community is concerned, is his partnership with Casa Ruby, in
which he offers certification classes to interested clients of the center, particularly transgender
women seeking to pursue new employment opportunities.
''Our mission is to empower those interested in a field of cosmetics and makeup artistry,'' Elvia
Hernandez, creative and marketing director for V*Glam, said of the certification course. ''Once
the certification is done, we would like to start working with salons to say, 'Listen, we have students who are willing and able to do makeup for your salon,' and they can start there. And to
also use the makeup line to launch them as entrepreneurs to sell that on their own, to do
makeup, various events, so they, too, can one day do something like we're doing now, but on
their own.''
Carcamo said he will donate V*Glam's products for the participants to use in the certification
course. He also told Metro Weekly he has plans to launch a nail-polish line specifically for Casa
Ruby by Oct. 10. All proceeds from sales of the nail-polish line will go directly to Casa Ruby,
he said.
''For most people in this city, there's no school for makeup artistry in D.C.,'' Corado said. ''And
it's very hard and very expensive to get certified.''
''They will be able to work anywhere,'' Corado said. ''Because they will have the basic skills that
are needed. And it's a curriculum, so they aren't just learning how to do drag makeup. They're
actually learning different techniques and kinds of makeup.''
EU law to protect victims of crime due to sexual orientation, gender identity or gender
expression
Today the European Parliament agreed on a new Directive on the rights guaranteed to victims
of crime in the EU. Notably, it provides specific assistance and protection to people who suffered crime because of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.
The Directive of the European Parliament and of the Council establishing minimum standards
on the rights, support and protection of victims of crime now says victims should receive appropriate assistance and protection. This will be determined on the basis of “the personal characteristics of the victim such as his or her age, gender and gender identity or expression, ethnicity,
race, religion, sexual orientation, health, disability, residence status, communication difficulties,
relationship to or dependence on the offender and previous experience of crime.”
It is the first time EU law mentions gender expression. EU Member States will now have three
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years to transpose the Directive into their national law.
New analysis shows startling levels of discrimination against American Indian and
Alaskan Native transgender people
WASHINGTON, Oct. 8 — American Indian and Alaskan Native transgender and gender nonconforming people face some of the highest levels of discrimination of all transgender people,
according to a new analysis released today, Injustice at Every Turn: A Look at American Indian
and Alaskan Native Respondents in the National Transgender Discrimination Survey.
“This report shows the devastating impact that racism and anti-transgender bias play in the lives
of American Indian and Alaskan Native transgender people,” says Rea Carey, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. “The findings are as heartbreaking as they are
unconscionable. They serve as a call to action to the LGBT movement and others to prioritize
racial and economic justice and the needs of indigenous nations.”
NCTE Launches Innovative Resource For Transgender Students And Allies
The National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) has launched a new resource for
transgender advocates and allies in college. The Transgender On-Campus Non-discrimination
Information Project (TONI Project) provides prospective college students with a place to explore inclusive policies and practices at various universities and allows current students to share
ideas about how to improve their own campus. The profiles of individual schools may touch on
everything from gender-neutral housing options to course content and university healthcare. In
addition to listing schools and their policies, the TONI Project website offers forums for users
to discuss and organize around issues, shares guides for approaching common campus policies,
and gives advice for creating effective campaigns for change
<http://www.transstudents.org/action> .
No Military Welcome for Transgender Americans
The repeal of ''Don't Ask, Don't Tell'' ushered in a new era of acceptance in the armed forces for
thousands of Americans. For almost two decades, the ban on out gay servicemembers was an
issue fueling the LGBT-rights movement. With President Barack Obama's signature –
following a Pentagon working group, surveys, and approval from the chairman of the Joint
Chiefs of Staff and the secretary of defense – the ban became a thing of the past.
But for some members of the military, the fight for acceptance is long from over. Although
2011's repeal of ''Don't Ask, Don't Tell'' opened the door for gay, lesbian and bisexual servicemembers, transgender Americans must continue life in the closet in order to serve their country.
Despite the repeal of DADT, a medical regulatory ban remains in place for those who identity
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as transgender. Not only is evidence of transition therapy grounds for disqualification for potential recruits, so is openly identifying as transgender, which the Pentagon considers a psychiatric
condition.
Transgender veterans who transition after leaving the armed forces face other obstacles as well.
Upon discharge from the military, servicemembers receive a DD-214 form with their full name.
Some transgender veterans who seek to change the name on the form, which is used to secure
veteran benefits, are not always able to do so.
Transgender people have faced an uphill battle educating straight and gay people alike about
gender identity. Having successfully repealed DADT, many activists have shifted their focus to
marriage-equality battles playing out on the state level and in the courts. Securing rights for
transgender servicemembers has not been the call to arms that repeal of DADT was.
In many instances, the ''T'' in LGBT is left undefined and undiscussed, even among the gay
community. In a video statement delivered during an event at the Pentagon honoring Pride
month in June, Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta thanked only gay and lesbian servicemembers for their service to their country. Although Panetta said he remains ''committed to removing as many barriers as possible to make America's military a model of equal opportunity,''
there are no plans in the foreseeable future to alter military medical regulations to allow transgender Americans to serve their country openly.
State bans gay-repair therapy for minors
Sacramento -- California has become the first state in the country to ban controversial therapy
practices that attempt to change the sexual orientation of minors after Gov. Jerry Brown signed
a bill to outlaw them Saturday.
The bill, SB1172 by Sen. Ted Lieu, D-Torrance (Los Angeles County), bars mental health
practitioners from performing so-called reparative therapy, which professional psychological
organizations have said may cause harm. Gay rights groups have labeled them dangerous and
abusive.
Brown approved the ban after the public release of two other lists of bills signed and vetoed earlier Saturday. Lieu's bill is expected to appear on a new list to be released Sunday.
Penalty for therapists
Under the new law, which will take effect Jan. 1, no mental health provider will be able to provide therapy that seeks "to change behaviors or gender expressions, or to eliminate or reduce
sexual or romantic attractions or feelings toward individuals of the same sex." Mental health
professionals who violate the law, which applies to therapy for patients younger than 18, will be
subject to discipline by whatever group licenses them.
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NYC woman wins coverage for transgender procedure
NEW YORK — A New York City transgender woman has won insurance coverage for her sex
change operation. The Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund said Wednesday MVP
Health Care agreed to cover the doctor-recommended procedure for Ida Hammer. It had originally denied her claim on the grounds it was "cosmetic," and therefore not covered under her
policy.
TLDEF said that after denying two appeals, MVP reversed its decision and deemed the surgery
medically necessary.
The American Medical Association recommends insurance coverage for sex reassignment. But
only a small number of companies actually provide it.
U-I to offer LGBT targeted clinic
The University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics will begin offering a new health care option next
week for patients who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. Doctors Katie Imborek and
Nicole Nisly have teamed up to start the clinic, which will be located in the U-I Health Care,
Iowa River Landing facility in Coralville.
Imborek believes the LGBT community has been medically underserved. She says staff at the
clinic have specific training to handle their unique needs. “They’re going to have physicians
and providers who care for them…and are exceedingly knowledgeable in taking care of folks
from this community,” Imborek said.
The only other LGBT clinic offered in the Midwest is located at the University of Minnesota.
“They have a really wonderful institute there,” Imborek said. “It is our humble hope that what
we’re starting here would gain momentum one day and be anything close to that.”
Imborek hopes the clinic will serve patients not only from Iowa but throughout the Midwest.
She made her comments on Iowa Public Radio’s River to River program.
To contact the U-I LGBT Clinic: call (319) 384-7444
Rutgers University introduces transgender studies class
The University Department of Women’s and Gender Studies is offering a new course this fall
that aims to give students an in depth look at what it means to be transgender. “Introduction to
Transgender Studies” is the first course offered at the University that solely discusses transgender topics, which relate to people whose assigned sex does not correspond with their gender
identity.
“There’s still a lot of transphobia, and I think that a lot of people don’t understand what it
means to be transgender,” Kurtz said. She said similar University courses in the future would
be appreciated because of how many people are allied with the transgender community.
It has not yet been announced if the class will be offered in the spring.
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Transgender woman told to leave women’s locker room
OLYMPIA, Wash. — A transgender woman said she was discriminated against after using the
women’s locker room at Evergreen State College. Colleen Francis was using the sauna in a
women’s locker room inside the recreation center at the school late in September. The same
facility is used by two high school girls swim teams from Olympia, who also practice in the
pool.
“I looked at her and said, ‘Excuse me?’ And she said, ‘You have to leave, I’ll be right back,’”
said Francis. “She wouldn’t identify herself. All she said was that there were a couple of girls
that came upstairs to the pool, and said that there was a man in the sauna.” Francis, who acknowledges she was born a man, said she lived as a woman since 2009.
Someone still called campus police, and local parents heard about the incident. According to
state law, it requires equal access to state facilities regardless of gender identity. Francis
believes the students need to be informed. “This is not 1959 Alabama. We don’t call police for
drinking from the wrong water fountain,” said Francis.
TranSquat App Helps Transgender Community Find Safe Restrooms
For the transgender community, the ritual is riddled with anxiety and the constant threat of
harassment, even violence. If you’re a man who used to be a woman, or vice versa, or in the
process of transitioning genders, picking a door can be confusing. Going through that door can
lead to anything from a sideways glance to physical violence.
Enter TranSquat
<http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/transquat/id521546602?mt=8> , a brand-new iPhone app that
uses a vast database of gender-neutral bathrooms across the United States and Canada—and
now extending as far as Kuwait—to point users to the closest safe restroom.
The app is powered by Safe2Pee <http://safe2pee.org/new/> , a gender-neutral bathroom
database that dubs itself a “copyleft” organization, meaning its content can be used and shared
openly. The Safe2Pee database includes more than 400 cities; Las Vegas, Toronto, San
Francisco, and Portland have the most abundant bathroom options listed.
Users of TranSquat, which sells for $2.99 through Apple’s iTunes Store, can plug in their
location and be directed to all the gender-neutral bathrooms in the area, with additional tips like
“the bathroom is free, stroll right in.”
But finding a place to pee safe from harassment is just one of several daily obstacles for transgender people. Driver’s licenses and IDs present a major problem, says Harrison. “If you’re
able to pull out your driver’s license, that has a major protective effect” as a means of proving
gender identity, he says. “Unfortunately there’s a patchwork system of different laws and policies” that makes it difficult for people transitioning genders to have their IDs updated. “No one
should be denied accurate identification,” he says.
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CEO Refuses to Do Business in Antigay Jacksonville
It was in August when the Jacksonville City Council shot down an antidiscrimination ordinance
protecting LGBT residents. Repercussions of that decision are now reverberating, as a local
attorney says a major corporation refused to move to Jacksonville because of the measure's
failure.
Marianna Smith is a lawyer and board member at an unidentified company. She writes in the
The Florida Times-Union that the CEO of the company she serves on the board of refused to
relocate to Jacksonville after the council rejected the ordinance . The CEO was also affected
by antigay letters and op-eds that appeared in local newspapers.
When religious beliefs and convictions are infused into the responsibility of creating public
policy, the resulting sad consequences are totally predictable. Where was strong, wise and
meaningful leadership when we needed it? If I ever questioned the wisdom of separation of
church and state, that doubt has been completely erased by this event. I am saddened to have
my home city of Jacksonville defined in this manner.
My company is now investigating Savannah, Charleston and the ports in Virginia." —
Transsexuals have right to breast enlargement: German court
Male-to-female transsexuals have a legal right to breast enlargement operations when hormone
therapy fails to give them a feminine shape, a German federal court ruled.
A transsexual may receive implants if her new breasts have not yet reached the size of a bra's A
-cup, the Federal Social Court in the central city of Kassel said.
"Transsexual insurance policy-holders can make a claim to treatment measures to allow them to
adapt their gender, including surgical procedures on healthy organs to minimise their psychological suffering, so as to approach the appearance of the other sex that is desired," the court
said.
The judges said that this right to breast-enlargement surgery applied even before a sex change,
basing its ruling on a recent decision by Germany's top court which found that such a procedure
was not a requirement for a legal name change.
Transgender Voters Left in Cold With Patchwork of ID Laws
A study from the Williams Institute, an LGBT think tank at the University of Los Angeles,
estimates that about 25,000 transgender Americans could be disenfranchised in the upcoming
election because of a patchwork of voter ID laws.
And it's not just voter ID requirements that are the problem.
Poll workers have discretion in giving voters a regular ballot or a provisional ballot, and bias
could still affect who gets to vote. Provisional ballots can also be counted differently from
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regular ones.
"There is discrimination against trans people," said Mara Kiesling, executive director of the
National Center for Transgender Equality, which is on a mission to get transgender Americans
to the polls. "Voting is a perfect storm," she said. "There are ID documents and authorities with
discretion. When people are given discretion, trans people get hurt."
Studies on the transgender community have also found that they are more often than not
economically disadvantaged and are more likely to change addresses or even be homeless, making it harder to register to vote.
When it's difficult to get ID -- for financial, medical or other reasons -- it's hard to cast a ballot,
according to Kiesling. Some get so discouraged they stop trying. NCTE has partnered with the
advocacy organization GLAAD to launch a series of public service announcements, "Voting
While Trans," aimed at educating and preparing transgender voters for the upcoming election.
Voter laws vary from state to state, but according to the Williams Institute study, voters will
face the most complex requirements in Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Kansas, Louisiana, Michigan,
New Hampshire, South Dakota and Tennessee. Four of those states -- Georgia, Kansas, Indiana
and Tennessee – have strict photo ID requirements in addition to laws that require sex reassignment surgery before birth certificates or licenses can be updated.
Many transgender people cannot afford the $20,000 price tag for surgery or do not medically
qualify. Most choose not to take the last surgical step in gender change, advocates say.
Claire Swinford, a 41-year-old activist had difficulty voting in Arizona in 2010 before she
moved to Missouri, where she now works for a transgender outreach group. Swinford was in
the beginnings of transition from male to female and her name had not yet legally been changed
on either her driver's license or the voter registration list. "All the information matched,
however it did not match the person they were seeing," she said. "Clearly, it was a male name
and clearly here was someone acting female and that caused a terrible red flag to go up with the
poll volunteer."
One of the huge issues with voter ID laws is that many in the transgender community cannot
afford the steps necessary to legally change name and gender markers, even in states that allow
for such changes. Though not required for voting, it would have cost Swinford $265 to legally
change her name. It costs only $4 to change it on a license in Arizona, but a doctor or psychologist visit to get the required letter is costly.
Arizona eventually put her on the early voting list and Swinford could vote by mail, a solution
she suggests to other transgender voters. Swinford has now invested in getting a federal passport, which she can use as a second form of identification, a move she recommends to others.
"We wind up playing these games, but it's not the cheapest ID in the world," she said.
Still, many say it is the ignorance in the general public about being transgender that makes it
difficult to show up to vote.
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Ontario alters gender-change rules
What was once impossible for trans Ontarians is now attainable in six to eight weeks for a $37
fee. The Ontario Human Rights Tribunal ruled in April that the Government of Ontario’s regulations on changing the designated gender listed on birth certificates were discriminatory. It sent
Queen’s Park back to the drawing board to come up with some new ideas.
Previously, trans people had to undergo the full sexual reassignment surgery before being permitted to change their gender on a birth certificate – the document that acts as a foundation for
the information on all other government-issue identification. Many in the trans community
thought this an unnecessary hurdle. But now all that’s required in an application is a signed
declaration and a note from a doctor or psychologist. The only caveats for changing a birth
certificate is that the applicant must be 18 years of age.
The cost for editing the designated gender is $37, plus the $25 or $35 fee for ordering the new
birth certificate – either short form or long form.
These changes – published to the Ontario Government Services website –came in right under
the wire. The Human Rights Tribunal gave the government 180 days to edit its procedures,
which meant a deadline of Oct 8. The changes went online Oct 5.
The one improvement the group would like to see implemented would be a guarantor system,
which would allow trans people under 18 or without a regular physician to change their
documents.
The landmark decision – the first of its kind in Canada – could set a precedent for other
provinces to follow suit. Some of the requirements outside of Ontario require both the surgery
itself, as well as other cumbersome documentation. That sets up obstacles for trans people
looking to avoid problems caused by having their documentation, such as passports, list the
wrong gender.
As demand for illegal silicone injections grows, so do deaths
People seeking bigger buttocks often end up at illegal 'pumping parties' with unsanitary – and
sometimes fatal – injections of industrial-grade silicone.
Some see the injections as a quick fix to a body image problem. Others are strippers or sex
workers who seek more feminine bodies, or transgender men who can't afford hormone therapy.
"Too often, these are acts of desperation," said Harper Tobin, policy director at the National
Center for Transgender Equality.
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Since 2002, authorities across the country have investigated more than a dozen deaths related to
illegal buttocks injections. Eight people were convicted of practicing medicine without a license
or similar offenses. Two others were convicted of negligent homicide or manslaughter.
"Until recently, this has been sort of a dark secret," said Dr. Malcolm Roth, president of the
American Society of Plastic Surgeons. "If you have a back-alley procedure done and live to tell
the tale, you'll never be able find the person who did it."
The practice is an illegal variation on a growing trend sometimes called the Jennifer Lopez
effect: the search for the perfect posterior. According to the society of plastic surgeons,
Americans spent more than $26 million last year on legal buttocks augmentation. As the legal
market grows, so do less-legal options.
"People don't know what they're getting into when they go into that hotel room," Coz said. It's
impossible to say how common the practice has become, but Kimberly Smedley's case suggests
it's widespread.
Silicone has been a central part of plastic surgery since the 1960s, when it was first shaped into
implants and injected freely into cheeks, breasts and hips. Medicine has since shown that
silicone can migrate. The Food and Drug Administration banned direct injections of silicone in
1992. "The body recognizes microscopically that silicone doesn't belong there," Roth said.
"When you inject things, they don't stay in one place."
The buttocks have a high blood-vessel count. Silicone injected there has a higher likelihood of
entering the bloodstream, hurtling resin particles throughout the body. In the lungs, silicone can
cause major artery blockage. In the brain, strokes. Everywhere else, tumors. Doctors can try to
remove silicone particles, Coz said, but there's no magnet or vacuum to catch every piece.
For transgender men, risking the procedure is often a result of frustration, said Tobin of the
National Center for Transgender Equality. Patients pay thousands of dollars for cosmetic
surgery and hormone therapy, and sometimes expect immediate or dramatic results. Procedures
are not always covered by health insurance.
"Transgender people can suffer real distress," Tobin said. "They're distraught about their appearance corresponding with their mental image of themselves."
Muxes In Mexico, A Third Gender Embraced By The Zapotec People
In Oaxaca, one of the southernmost states of Mexico, the indigenous Zapotec people have
embraced a third gender within their communities: the muxes.
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Said to be derived from the Spanish word for women mujer, the Zapotec word ‘muxe’ is used to
describe the young boys and men who choose to identify as women or are unable to identify
concretely with either gender.
"On the Isthmus of Tehuantepec, especially in Juchitán, every family considers it a blessing to
have one gay son," Susana Trilling, who manages a cooking school hours from Juchitán, told
Travel + Leisure magazine. These sons do handicrafts and sell embroideries in the market with
the women, while the men work in the fields, so it's a monetary boon to the family. And while
daughters marry and leave home, a muxe cares for his parents in their old age."
Since the 1970s, the town holds a three-day festival known as Vela de las Intrepidas (Vigil of
the Intrepids) to celebrate the muxes. Many crossdress for the event, as well as in their daily
lives, as they walk the streets of what many have called a “haven” or “paradise” for gay men
and transgender people.
This haven has caught the attention of muxes outside of the indigenous communities. Alex
Hernandez who immigrated to the United States from Oaxaca at the age 4 returned recently as
an adult with photographer Neil Rivas to take part in the November festival for the first time,
something he told NPR felt like “reclaiming a role that was lost in time.”
Transgender seminar proves popular
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — A local doctor and organizers of a seminar series for transgender people say their first event on Sept. 15 was a success.
The “Express Your Inner You” seminar was held at Presbyterian Family Medicine Midtown on
Saturday, Sept. 15. The five-hour-long seminar attracted 17 members from the Carolina
Transgender Society. Dr. Rhett Brown discussed a variety of topics including: skin care,
hormone treatment updates, hair, makeup, dressing for your body type, fashion trends, shoes
and plastic surgery. Other guest speakers at the seminar included: Robyn Allen of Charlotte
Skin & Laser, Daniel Persirithes of Planet 21 Southend, Roby Abraham of Buffalo Exchange,
Dr. Eric Emerson of Southeastern Plastic Surgery and Laser Center and seminar organizer Dan
Mauney.
Mauney expects future events in next spring and fall. For more information about future seminars or other events, visit carolinatransgendersociety.com
HRC scorecard shows drop in support for LGBT rights in Congress
Support for LGBT equality declined significantly in Congress during the past two years
compared to the previous two-year period, according to a Congressional Scorecard for the
112th Congress released on Thursday by the Human Rights Campaign.
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The scorecard, which HRC has compiled for each two-year session of Congress since 1989,
shows that the average score for members of the House of Representatives on LGBT issues
dropped from 50.8 percent in the 111th Congress to 40 percent in the current Congress. For the
Senate, the HRC Scorecard shows a drop in support from 57.3 percent in the 111th Congress to
35 percent in the current 112th Congress.
“While we continue to make advancements towards equality in Washington, the 112th Congress has more anti-equality members set on halting our progress,” said HRC President Chad
Griffin.
The HRC Scorecard evaluates all 435 House members and 100 senators based on a rating scale
of 0 to 100 on a wide range of LGBT issues, including members’ co-sponsorship of pro-LGBT
bills and their votes on bills or amendments deemed LGBT supportive or hostile to LGBT
rights. Similar to its Scorecard ratings of past years, the latest HRC Scorecard shows a breakdown of its ratings along party lines, with a majority of Democrats receiving the highest scores
and most Republicans receiving low scores.
Study shows high rate of discrimination against transgender people in Texas
Transgender Texans generally face even higher levels of discrimination than transgender people
nationwide, according to a state-level breakout from a national study conducted last year. In
Texas, transgender people faced higher rates of harassment and assault in school. Nationally, 78
percent reported being harassed, but in Texas 85 percent faced harassment. Physical assault was
also higher in the state at 46 percent compared to 35 percent nationally. Sexual assault in school
was comparable at 12 percent nationally and 9 percent in Texas.
Texas doesn’t have LGBT-inclusive employment nondiscrimination or anti-bullying laws. The
state’s hate crimes law covers gays and lesbians but not transgender people.
Results from the Texas breakout of the study are below:
TEXAS RESULTS Tran Discrimination Survey 2012
<http://www.scribd.com/doc/110206629/TEXAS-RESULTS-Tran-Discrimination-Survey2012>
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70
71
72
73
74
M
i ss
No
vem
ber
Sa
nd
Se i
a
75
November
2012
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30