Toilet training newborns My Journey Great Christmas Crafts Inside

MULTIPLE
sons
Summer Issue December 2012
Cover Price R35
sea
Toilet training
newborns
Going on holiday
with your multiples
My Journey
with my triplets
Great Christmas Crafts Inside
For that great feeling of doing the
right thing, right from the start
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NUK is a registered trademark of MAPA GmbH/Germany
NUK South Africa
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World of NUK (210x275) English.indd 1
The Orthodontists’ Choice
08/03/2012 09:4
Christmas is upon us. The year has flown and for all those
parents who will be experiencing their first Christmas with their
multiples it is sure to be a lot of fun filled with magical moments
and unforgettable memories.
FOLLOW US ON
FACEBOOK
multiple seasons
We have focused on the theme of Christmas in this edition
with great arts and crafts ideas and how to write the perfect
Christmas letter for all your friends and family both locally and
abroad. Gayathrie shared her story with us on taking her twins
for their first overseas trip to meet the family last Christmas.
Emma had her ten year old twins write a short note about
Christmas in France. English is not their home language so we
appreciate all the hard work. Suzanne from the Netherlands
shared her Christmas story with us about the traditions of
Sinterklaas and how she has her twins take turns in being the
“ Little Helper” for the day. I love hearing about the different
beliefs and traditions around the world surrounding Christmas,
each county has their own way of making it magical.
Nina Pool has shared her rare story about her quads. She is one
of eight documented people in the world to have experienced
the rare phenomenon of having two sets of identical twins in one
pregnancy.
Don’t forget to go to our Facebook page and share all of your
wonderful Christmas photos
with us. If you are going away
remember to buckle up and
report any unbuckled children
to Bucklemeup on Twitter.
From the Multiple Seasons
team we wish all of our families
a wonderful Christmas and a
blessed new year.
See you again in 2013
MARION
On the COVER
On the cover is mom Rozwyn Sawyer and her
girls Jessica Paige and Jody Anne Sawyer. They
were born at Bedford Gardens Hospital via
Caesarean on 21 April 2009. Jessica weighed
2.33kg and Jody weighed 2.26kg. They are both
very inquisitive and are asking lots and lots of
questions. They attend Froggies Playgroup
where they have grown in leaps and bounds over
the last year and have made many new friends.
Next year they will be going to Stepping Stones
Nursery school.
Image take by Ester Helms Photography
www.esterhelm.co.za
Every Issue:
4 Fabulous Finds
13 Giveaways
20 Photo page
30 Buzy Mommyz
32 Classifieds
Your Baby:
2 Toilet Training Newborns
5 Quarduplets
6 Prematurity & motor delay
in multiple burths
8 Understanding Reflux
11 Amazing Facts
12 Going on holiday with your
twins
Your toddler:
10 Getting your kids into
14
15
16
18
19
showbusiness
Growing up with triplet
brothers
My journey with my triplets
Raising twins in the
Netherlands
Christmas in France
Twas the night before
Christmas, twin style
Your Preschooler:
21 10 Tips for writing a
Christmas letter everyone
loves
22 Let’s Celebrate
25 Christmas Crafts
26 How to teach your twins to
speak clearly
28 Multiples in school
BABY
Toilet training Newborns:
Parents grab hold of trends to potty-train infant twins.
The very mention of potty-training newborn infants elicits reactions
ranging from skepticism and confusion to intimidation, amazement
and plain old curiosity. Who wouldn’t be delighted at the prospect of
shortening the years of diaper-changing, accidents, diaper costs and
inconvenience? Written By Donna Hoke Kahwaty
P
arents of multiples can only dream
of how blissful life would be without
constant diaper changes, and almost
endless purchases of disposables, times two.
But we’ve all grown up in a diaper culturewith the idea that children should toilet
train when they are ready. So the notion of
teaching a very young infant to urinate or
poo on command, using a potty from birth, is
a foreign one. And I mean that both literally
and figuratively.
Infant potty training (commonly called
IPT)-or Elimination Communication (EC),
as it is sometimes called-has been used
extensively in other countries long before it
made an appearance in U.S.
“My theory is that it goes way back to
the beginning of human time,” says Laurie
Boucke, author of Infant Potty Training: A
Gentle and Primeval Method Adapted to
Modern Living. “Like animals, we didn’t
diaper. We were likely in warmer climates,
where there was no furniture, but over time,
maybe we started using natural things like
animal skins or leaves, and those evolved
into diapers.”
It’s clear from the amount of interest
in the diaperfreebaby.com website that a
growing number of parents, once hearing
about IPT, find themselves curious enough
to give it a try. They take the leap for myriad
reasons: Earlier completion of toilet training;
increased bonding with their babies; cost
savings, environmental reasons; fewer
diaper rashes or simply better all-round
hygiene.
“A friend had a lot of success with her
baby in the first six months,” says Wendy
Matteucci, a mother of 4 year old twins. “Her
success, and reading about the history of
infant potty training throughout the world
convinced me it must work. Everything about
it was a plus; there were no drawbacks. I
knew I was staying home with (my twins) and
I thought if it worked for so many people, I
2
could make it work for me.
And work it did.Matteuci first held her
babies over a small potty when they were
only 7 weeks old, and dripped warm water
over their genitals as instructed. “Taylor peed
the first time and Tess peed the second time,
and I never had to use water again,” Wendy
recalls. “I also made the ‘ssssss’ sound and
used a sign for toilet, even though they were
only seven weeks old. By the end of the first
week, they were both peeing regularly on
the potty, so I knew that it was working.”
Of course, at seven weeks, “working”
doesn’t mean that every single time a baby
eliminates, he or she is going to the potty. “It
is important to emphasize from the start that
IPT is about working with infants towards
accomplishing what is commonly known as
potty training, “says Boucke.
“The process is more akin to teamwork
and interconnectedness than actual
training.”
Over time, parents will recognise
patterns of elimination in each baby, and
cues that a child is about to urinate or have a
bowel movement;often,it’s simply a matter
of putting babies on the potty at logical
times-after eating, or following a long car
trip or nap. The process becomes a form
of conditioning, and the habit becomes
ingrained.
Matteucci initially took her babies to
their little potties at natural intervals -after
naps, following car rides, after eating-and
very quickly the babies began to anticipate
their trips to the potty, and they would hold
their urine until they were taken to the toilet.
As babies grow a bit older and become
more conscious of the process, they begin to
communicate their needs on their own. Long
before they are fully trained, IPT’ed children
already have a great deal of control over
their bodily functions.
“When Tess was only 2 and a half months-
BABY
old, she went 17 days without a poopy diaper,
and she was bowel- trained completely by 16
months,” Wendy marvels. “Even before that,
there were benefits, too, because they are
holding their urine and their bowels, so they
never pooped in the car or in public. I think I
used a diaper- changing station maybe once.
After a year, they never pooped at nap time.
They’d wake up and cry and I’d take them to
the potty and they’d go back to bed.”
For children who are prone to diaper
rash, eliminating times when a child may
be stuck in a soiled diaper for more than a
few minutes-or eliminating soiled diapers
entirely-maybe reason enough to try IPT.
That was the case for Julie DeWyse, a mother
of 4- year old twins. When her twins were
only five months old, her son was suffering
from such horrible diaper rash that she went
online looking for solutions to alleviate his
pain. There, she found Boucke’s book and
figured she had nothing to lose.
“It helped because we could catch some
of his pees and poops, and he wasn’t crying
so much, “DeWyse says. “If it weren’t for
Wyatt, I probably never would have known
about it.”
Though Julie started IPT with the hope of
helping Wyatt, she admits the idea of getting
rid of diapers sooner rather than later was
appealing. “Diapers weren’t horrible, “she
says,” but it was just another chore, so I
didn’t feel like this was a waste of time. And
if you add up the time you spend changing
diapers or washing them, I’m not sure it took
any more time than that. “The end result:
Tressa was fully toilet trained by 18 months,
Wyatt shortly afterward. Julie had equal
success with her third child, a singleton.
Both Matteucci and DeWyse took a
relaxed attitude to IPT, something that
Boucke says is vital: “I advise parents to
keep a balance in everything they do, not to
become obsessive about this. Stay relaxed.
Especially with two babies, it’s better to start
out with just a few potty visits a day and
gradually increase, because you’ll experience
burnout if you try to be there every time they
go.”
That’s advice Emily Gelbert, a mom
of 3-month old twins has taken to heart.
Though she’d always wanted to do EC-she
never liked the idea of children sitting in
their dirty diapers-she worried it might be
more difficult with twins. ”Now my motto
is to do everything ‘perfectly imperfect,
‘especially with twins, “she says.” I’m doing
EC infrequently; I’m not catching every poop,
and I don’t know all their cues yet, but this is
what perfect looks like for a new mother of
twins who is new to the system. But I’m not
going to give up because I think it’s worth it
and I’m willing to do it imperfectly.”
That is definitely the right attitude,
Boucke says. “For some parents, it resonates
and they want to try it, “she observes,” but
no one should feel pressured.Its’not about
rushing toilet training: it’s about trying to
work with kids when they have this
awareness. It’s a gradual process.”
In the end, IPT is just one more
choice-for both parents and children.
There is no right or wrong. “After
Tess and Taylor knew what the toilet
was for, it was up to them to make
the choice to use it.I didn’t make it
for them.” Matteucci points out,
“There was no reward for the going
in the toilet, no punishment for
going in their diapers. They couldand sometimes did-soil their diapers
when the need arose, without fear
of condemnation. It was clear to
me early on that they preferred the
toilet, so I just kept offering them
the option. People think you’ve
become some kind of supermom
to do this, but that’s not true; it
just becomes part of the day.”
IPT actually has a relatively
long history in this country, too,
but it wasn’t called IPT or EC, and
never caught on until recent years. Maybe
part of the popularity derives from increased
international travel to Asian countries by
younger people during the last decade, and
exposure to different ways of caring for
children in other countries. Although a form
of early potty training was promoted by the
U.S. government in the early 1900s,it was
more a punitive method that bears only a
minor resemblance to infant potty training
(so-called IPT) as it’s practiced today.Later,in
the 1950s,Dr. Spock convinced a generation
of parents not to rush their children. And
even more recently, we have become still
more lenient, watching for toddler cues and
initiatives that demonstrate our children are
indeed ready to give up their diapers.
“The problem,” says Boucke “is that
some kids never show the signs or take the
initiative because diapers are so comfortable.
Children are getting toilet trained much later
than they used to.”
SOURCES
www.pottywhisperer.com
http://diaperfreebaby.com
www.whizkidz.biz
3
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Graco Twin Pack
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Twintrexx ™
Incl post and packaging
R2300
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Twinneroo Twin
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Polly Potters Toy Shop
Parkhurst | www.pollypotterstoystore.co.za
Posh Baby Botique
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Multiple Blessings
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4
R2499
Nerine Photography
R1400
Milk Expresso
machine
BABY
Quadruplets
By Nina Pool
After many years of waiting we found out last year that I was
pregnant. At the six weeks scan the doctor located three embryo’s
indicating that one of the embryo’s had split forming an identical set.
A
t the nine week scan it was confirmed
that we had four fetuses and two
sets of identical twins. We were
then referred to Dr. van Rensburg at Medfem
as he specializes in high risk pregnancies
like this. He treated me with a variety of
preventative medication. This ensured that
despite having a circlage I never had any
infection that could affect the babies. At
27 weeks gestation I went into premature
labour and was admitted to hospital. I had
to stay for two weeks while they stopped the
contractions and ensured that all the babies
were still healthy. At 28 weeks the doctor
started giving me cortisone treatments to
ensure that the babies’ lung development
and surfactant production would be
sufficient.
This is a very rare event, even rarer than
four identical quads from a single embryo.
No one really knows how often it occurs,
but there have been 8 clinically documented
cases like this worldwide.
The quads were born on the 19th of
March this year at the SandtonMediClinic
at 31 weeks gestation. We decided on this
hospital as it was clear very early on that they
will be premature and the hospital probably
has one of the best NICU’s in the country.
Cara was the weakest and stayed on oxygen
for two hours. Despite being two months
premature they were all quite strong.
In order of birth the weights were as
follows:
Neanè: 1,24kg
Cara: 1,16kg
Hendrie: 1,38kg
Cobus: 1,32kg
We were lucky that none of them had any
serious infections and they progressed quite
well. Hendrie was discharged after 62 days
in hospital. The others followed ten days
later, so for them the stay was a full 72days.
I did express from birth and it was enough
to ensure that each of them at least got one
breast milk feed per
day until they were
six weeks with the
rest being premature
formula.
At that
stage I had to restart
my MS medication
and they were put
onto only formula
milk.
My mother is
staying with us and
during the day I have
a nanny to assist, but
at night it is only my
husband and I that
look after them. Even
though there is very
little sleep, things
are actually going
very well. They are
all healthy and only Cobus
has a cardiac problem. He’s
already had one operation
and will probably have the
next one early next year,
but despite that he is
growing and healthy.
It is not only our arms
and home that is full,
but our hearts are also
overflowing with love
and joy.
5
BABY
Prematurity & Motor
Delay in Multiple Births
Prematurity is defined as birth occurring at less than 37 completed weeks of gestation. In developing countries
such as South Africa, the premature birth rate is as high as 25 percent. This group is further divided into various
subgroups: ‘very preterm’ refers to infants born at less than 32 weeks of gestation, while ‘extremely preterm’ is
used to describe infants born at less than 28 weeks gestation. Written by Jeanette Bensted-Smith a Paediatric
Physiotherapist and Diana Coetzer
T
wo further subgroups have received
increased attention more recently
as they account for more than
80 percent of preterm births. These two
groups are: the ‘moderate’ preterm, which
are infants born between 32 and 34 weeks
of gestation and the ‘late’ preterm which
are infants born between 34 and 37 weeks
gestation.
Multiple gestations such as twin and
triplet pregnancies are at risk of preterm
birth. The majority of twins (as much as
60 percent) deliver within the moderate
and late preterm birth period with the
majority of triplets delivering within the
moderate preterm birth period. Increased
research into the developmental outcome
of moderate and late preterm infants has
come about due to the rapid rise in multiple
births, which between 1980 and 2004, had
increased by 70 percent. This increase in
multiple births is directly associated with
the advances in assisted reproductive
technology.
6
The link between prematurity and
developmental delay is well established
in the literature with a decreased
gestational age directly linked to increased
developmental difficulties (Allen, 2008).
Preterm infants are more likely to suffer
from motor co-ordination difficulties than a
child born at full term (Gallahue at al, 2006).
While these motor difficulties, particularly in
the moderate and late preterm groups may
not be severe, there is increasing evidence
to suggest that this group of children are
at risk of developmental delay at preschool
age when compared with children born at
full term. These children are often classed
as being quite ‘clumsy’ and may struggle to
perform age appropriate tasks to the same
standard as their peers. These difficulties
with postural and motor control observed
later in the child’s life may be explained by
the time spent in the NICU environment
(Vaivre-Douret et al, 2004). Postural control
or balance is the ability to maintain the
centre of body mass over a stable or moving
base of support. Often in the NICU, preterm
infants are nursed on their stomachs as
it aids respiratory function. However
prolonged use of this position results in
muscle imbalance leading to trunk extensor
dominance and is associated with poor
head control, late sitting, early standing
and behavioural hyper excitability with
resistance to postural change.
The key to minimising developmental
delay is early intervention. Infants should
be followed up regularly so that their
development can be closely monitored
from birth up until the age of 5 years.
Early intervention is believed to be of
benefit as the infant brain is believed
to be most capable to making changes
particularly between two and three months
and six and eight months after term
age. Physiotherapists and Occupational
Therapists specifically trained in the area
of infant development can be consulted to
monitor and facilitate and develop and thus
minimise developmental delay.
BABY
A
CASE
STUDY 1
nna and Ingrid were born at 34
weeks, weighing 1.3 and 1.5 kgs
respectively. Neither experienced
any difficulties during or after birth,
but remained in neonatal intensive
care for nearly 4 weeks. The twins
achieved the important motor
milestones of crawling and sitting
approximately one month later
than what would be expected,
however within normal limits when
their corrected age was taken into
account.
They were referred for
physiotherapy by their crèche at
the age of 13 months as they were
not yet walking and were generally
quite weak. A child not walking at 13
months is not yet a great cause for
concern, but in this case given their
birth history their parents decided
to intervene early.
On assessment, both twins
presented with low muscle tone and
significant weakness. In particular,
both twins presented with pelvic
girdle instability and difficulty with
weight shift and transfer which
would explain why they were not
walking.
Physiotherapy focussed on
improving the above mentioned
aspects and a programme was
followed by the class teacher and
parents. Within a few sessions,
both twins were able to stand
independently and their strength
had improved significantly. While
Anna had initially appeared to be
the stronger twin, Ingrid progressed
more rapidly and was taking steps
within 4 sessions of physiotherapy.
Anna required further sessions of
physiotherapy. Both twins were
discharged from physiotherapy and
were walking with ease. They will
continue to be monitored.
This case study demonstrates
that motor delay, when identified
early is easily correctable and goes
a long way to contributing to overall
development. Early intervention
is definitely preferable rather
than waiting for delay to be well
established and thus more difficult
to treat.
O
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BABY
Understanding
Reflux
Reflux can often present a challenging and
distressing time for both baby and parent with lack
of sleep, crying and frustration all round.
Through
the
correct
management
and
understanding of reflux, it can be an easier journey
for all concerned
What is reflux?
To understand reflux, it is important to
have a basic understanding of the anatomy.
As the stomach fills with food and liquid,
the lower oesophageal sphincter (LES)
closes tightly to prevent the stomach
contents from moving back up the food
pipe (oesophagus)
When the LES is weak, or underdeveloped,
the acidic contents of the stomach push
back up the food pipe (oesophagus),
sometimes into or out of the mouth causing
a burning sensation. This is called reflux.
Most babies experience discomfort,
pain or a burning sensation, which is most
often displayed as fussiness, crying or poor
sleep.
How to make a diagnosis
Babies are often labelled with “colic”
due to excessive crying and irritability. But
is it colic or in fact reflux?
Your health care provider (clinic nurse,
doctor or specialist)will be able to diagnose
reflux, based on your observations.
Common signs of reflux:
1. Back and neck arching (baby pushes
tummy out and head back to stretch
the oesophagus to relieve the pain;
2. Spitting up or vomiting (although some
8
babies don’t spit up);
3. Irritability or crying especially after
feeds;
4. Fussy feeding (babies tend to suck
hungrily at either the breast or the
bottle at first then pull off or shake his
head from side to side, arch his back
and neck and cry whilst feeding);
5. Restless or disruptive sleep, (waking
shortly after being put down to sleep as
in discomfort and often wakes upset or
crying);
6. Choking, coughing or a constant stuffy
nose;
7. Failure to gain adequate weight (due to
having small feeds because of pain and/
or frequent vomiting);
8. Show huge weight gain (due to comfort
feeding);
Babies do not have to necessarily have
to present all of the above signs to be
suffering with reflux
What can you do to help
• There are several treatment options
available and many lifestyle changes to
implement that can help your baby
• Find a good support system through a
doctor or a clinic sister
• During the day, use a sling or a baby
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
carrier when you can – being close
to you will make baby feel a sense
of comfort and security. Also being
upright will make baby feel more
comfortable
Swaddle baby for all sleeps
Sleep at a 30 + degree angle
Preferably position baby on his left side
You may wish to use a Sound Breathing
monitor in case baby chokes (e.g.
Angelcare monitor)
If using formula, try thickening baby’s
feeds (ask your clinic sister to guide
you)
Use medication if necessary to reduce
their amount of stomach acid
Keep a burp cloth handy at all times
Travel with plenty spare clothes and a
spare shirt for yourself
Educate yourself on reflux so you can be
confident in managing your reflux baby
(many more helpful tips available in the
“The ultimate survival guide to reflux.”
By Gro Baby
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We recommend that you monitor baby’s breathing for at least the first 6 months, thereafter you
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ADVERTORIAL
H
Getting your KIDS
into showbusiness
ow often have you watched a TV
commercial or programme and
wondered if you or your children
would be suitable enough to be chosen for a
part? Well the good news is that every person
stands a chance at being selected.
Chameleon Casting Agents are based in
Wynberg, Sandton and also have an office
in Cape Town. I took my four boys along to
register and what fun we had. It was a quick
and painless task. I was required to take a long
a copy of my ID, proof of address, bank details
( waiting for that BIG pay check ) and my tax
number. While I was doing this they where
whisked away to have their photos taken.
When it was my turn I had to do what every
women dreads, I had to be measured and
declare my dress size but the staff make you
feel comfortable at all times.
Twins are in demand for all types of
shoots but especially identical twins. I am sure
everyone has seen the latest Macain advert,
the twin boys used in that advert came from
Chameleon Casting and received a whopping
R36 000.00 combined for their hard work.
Macain has since gone on to request their
services for a second advert to be filmed in
December.
Chameleon Casting agents have been
around for many years. They have many
multiples on their books and are always
looking for more. They accept everyone from
pregnant moms, new born babies right up to
grannies and grandpas.
So take a chance and register you and
your children you never know what can
happen, Brad Pitt’s career started off in
commercials.
Written by : Marion Smith mom of four boys aged 12,
7 and 3 1/5 year old twins
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10
BABY
Amazing
Facts
Why there
are so many
twins today!
T
his question has become more
complicated in recent years, partly
because of the introduction of artificial
reproductive means (in vitro fertilisation) in the
mid-1970’s. Since then, the rate of twinning has
risen progressively into the new millennium.
In vitro fertilisation leads to multiples in
as many as 30% of cases. Attempts to reduce
this frequency by limiting the number of
transferred embryos to two have been only
partially successful.
For numerous medical reasons, gestations
of two or more babies are much more prone to
complications (e.g., preterm labour, congenital
anomalies, and gestational diabetes). To
prevent such problems both for the mother
and her babies, before and after delivery, the
generally accepted approach these days is
to keep the number of resulting foetuses to a
minimum.
On the other hand, spontaneously
conceived (natural) pregnancies are prone to
twinning for any of several reasons: Family
history, race, parity, (that is, the number of a
mother’s previous pregnancies), and maternal
age at conception. And these pregnancies with
multiples are also on the rise.
Recently, I published a research paper
that reported the effect of diet on twinning
frequency. In that report I speculated that part
of the increase in spontaneous twinning may be
due to the administration of growth hormones
to cattle, but this remains to be confirmed.
According to Hellin’s Rule (formulated in
1895), spontaneous twins should occur once in
every 89 births. Using the average numbers for
Mothers of twins often ask: “What are the chances that I will have
another set of multiples if I become pregnant again?”
large populations in current databases, some
statistics for twinning can be estimated. (For
more details, see www.threebluestars.com/
multiples.):
• In 2001, 3.1% of all births in the U.S.
were twins (spontaneous and induced. NOTE:
Induced twins include all pregnancies resulting
from or incidental to the use of fertilityenhancing drugs and/or in vitro fertilisation.).
In Europe, the twinning rate was roughly half
that. (Growth hormone treatment of cattle is
banned in the European Union.)
• In the U.S., 1 in 50 people is a dizygotic
fraternal) twin and 1 in 150 is a monozygotic
(identical) twin.
• If a woman has already had dizygotic
(fraternal) twins, her chances of having another
set spontaneously are 4 times higher (i.e., 1 in
3000 births for two sets).
• A woman who is dizygotic (fraternal) twin
herself has 1 chance in 17 of giving birth to a set
of twins.
• Since dizygotic twinning appears to
be inherited through the mother, having a
husband who is a twin seems to make no
difference.
• Twinning does not skip generations (as
was once thought.)
• Certain fertility drugs increase the chance
of conceiving twins (e.g., clomid – 1 in 15).
• Approximately 70% of all twins being born
currently result from fertility treatment.
• African-Americans are more likely to
conceive twins spontaneously than Caucasians.
The rate for Asians is even lower.
• Fertility decreases with age. For those
pregnancies that do occur, older women
have twins more often than younger women,
especially women 35 to 39 years old. Between
1969 and 1994, the percentage of women over
30 having their first baby rose from 4% to 21%.
• The more children a woman has, the more
likely she is to finally have a set of twins.
• Taller women have twins more often than
shorter women.
• A woman who conceives while she is
breastfeeding a previous baby is 9 times more
likely to have twins than if she was bottlefeeding with cow’s milk or formula.
Although these numbers are prone to
change in the future, they give a rough idea
that certain women are more likely to have
twins. Statistics apply to populations, not to
individuals. The “law of large numbers” is at
work here. What may happen to any particular
woman is difficult to predict. For example, the
chance of having a boy is about the same as
having a girl, but we all know of large families
with exclusively one or the other. Although
Hellin’s Rule would suggest that any given
family needs to have 90 pregnancies for sets
of twins to occur, in reality multiple-multiples
happen quite often.
And as a matter of fact, many extended,
blood-related families with five or more sets
of monozygotic or dizygotic twins have been
reported.
Dr. Steinman is an OB/
gyn in Astoria, NY. If you
have specific questions
for him about zygosity,
email him at
[email protected]
BABY
going on holiday with
your multiples
My husband and I made the brave yet crazy decision to fly to
England for a big family Christmas when our twin girls were 6
months old. This was Christmas 2011. We really didn’t know
what we had let ourselves in for. Written by Gayathrie Schatz
I
started planning and packing for this trip
weeks in advance, as this was the first time
were we flying with the girls. We flew British
Airways. There were numerous calls made to the
airline ensuring that we have a cot and bassinette
booked for the flight so the girls can sleep. We
also were booked on a day flight over. Note to
self: Never fly day flight again. Looking back I did
slightly over pack for the trip. I took way too many
bottles as the girls were still having 4 bottles a
day. Just make sure once you have boarded, you
ask the airhostess to start cooling some boiling
water for you for the formula. I wasn’t sure of the
sterilising situation on the plane so I took all the
bottles I had at home. Sterilised and ready to go.
Took a few of the girl’s cuddly toys, although at
6 months there weren’t really into cuddly toys. It
was more to occupy them for a while. I also found
great disposable bibs for the flight. This was great
as you didn’t have to lug around soaked bibs. I
found them at the Reggies store. The girls were
on solids by then, so I took a few Hipp jars for their
lunch. And let’s not forgot – many, many nappies.
So the big day arrived. Our flight was at 8am,
which meant me having to get up at 4.30, get
myself ready, then get my hubby up, pack up the
car, then wake up the girls, then a quick nappy
change and off we went to the airport. I have to
say, our girls were little troopers on the morning.
No crying or anything. Get to the airport and
ready to check in. This is where the fun began!
The lady at British Airways didn’t know what
had hit her when she advised us there weren’t
any cots or bassinets booked on our reservations
and they wanted to separate my husband and I
apparently, due to safety reasons, they cannot
have 2 babies next to each other. This was
something to do with the oxygen masks. This
is where the wrath of a new twin mother who
had been making numerous calls to ensure that
we don’t have a situation like this comes in. I
was furious. I really didn’t care whose fault it was
on the airline side but I was given the incorrect
information and I needed this situation sorted
out. Kindly management did. They placed us very
close to each other and the twins got a cot and
bassinette!
We are finally on the plane. It was quite a
manoeuvring job on my husbands and my part to
put our luggage away whilst holding our babies.
That’s the things with twins. You just don’t have
enough hands. You’d think the air hostesses will
be there to help, but that too shouldn’t be taken
for granted. For the take off, we gave our girls
their morning milk. The suckling effect protects
their little ear drums whilst take off. A dummy
will also to the trick. They did sleep abit on the
journey but not much. Mine don’t really sleep
much during the day anyway. The girls were fine
for most of the journey but started becoming a
bit niggly and wingy towards the last couple of
hours. We were all tired and having two crying
babies wasn’t ideal. Poor little things. We did
receive a comment from the air hostess to please
make our babies stop crying as there were other
passengers complaining! I mean the nerve! Like
I enjoyed having a crying baby let alone 2! After
11 long hours we finally landed in Heathrow.
Passport control cleared and we were nearly
home free! Just the two hour car journey from the
airport to my in laws house to get through. This
was actually a breeze. The girls were tucked up in
their car seats and managed to have a nap, and
I think my husband and I also managed to crash
out whilst the driver drove us to our destination.
Christmas was special. The girls met their
cousins for the first time. It was a special time
bonding with their paternal grandparents.
They weren’t crawling at the time. Just small
movements. Those were the days when you
could leave them in one place
and find them in the same
spot upon your return! Pity it
didn’t snow at the time!
We didn’t do any sight
seeing with the girls in
England. We left the girls
with their grandparents and escaped to London
for a few days to soak up the big city and catch up
with good friends.
Our journey home. Security check at
Heathrow was interesting. We had carry slings for
the girls for the airport. We chose not to take our
pram with us as we had one at the grandparents.
So for airport purposes we purchased 2 great
slings and carried them in that around the airport.
I have to say it was rather tough removing shoes
and other items for security when you have a
baby hanging in front of you. I wasn’t also keen
on handing them to a complete stranger, but
somehow my husband and I managed. The Flight
back seemed less of an ordeal than getting there.
We were booked on a night flight back! Much
better idea. Although one downfall was it was
a packed flight back to Cape Town. 4 cots and
bassinets in total for the flight and there were
ten babies on board. Luckily the airline was kind
enough to give us a cot. So my one girl was tucked
up nicely in her cot, drank her milk and went to
sleep. My other girl was sleeping on her daddy’s
chest. This was all nice and snugly until the time
came for my husband to make a bathroom
break. Once again, a lot of manoeuvring done
on our part to move a baby without waking her
up. The both actually slept quite well. Woke up in
time to land in Cape Town.
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Comments
HOW DID YOU REACT
WHEN YOU FOUND OUT
YOU WHERE
EXPECTING MULTIPLES?
Julie Hide
Jumped for joy! the first time,
laughed the second time and was
in shock the third time :)
Gabriela Palacios-Flusk
I cried and cried (I was a very “unlikely mom”). Took hubby and I
the first semester to get over the
fact that we were having twins
Janine McCallum
I was shocked and a bit speechless, after two miscarriages we
were really just chuffed to be
pregnant. The first scan did not
pick up two babies, the second
one did. I still sometimes am
overwhelmed by it all.
Susan Heydenrych
Shocked & overjoyed at the same
time! And scared when I thought
of the risk of multiple pregnancy.
Still can not believe it though... :
Samantha Ferreira
Totally shocked and cried for a
whole day but was so excited! I
didn’t have a clue what was coming my way but they are out of
hospital now and getting cuter by
the day - what little blessings! :-)

13
TODDLER
Merrily, merrily, merrily:
Growing up
with triplet
brothers
By Johathan Shipley
“
Don was a biter.” This, from Jim and
Lance recently. “In a fight he’d do
anything – hair pulling, biting, you
name it.” Not that my triplet brothers fought
a lot as kids. They didn’t. But it’s fun to know
that the biter turned out to be a minister.
Don, Jim and Lance are my triplet
brothers. I’ve got another brother, and a
sister, too, but everyone is always intrigued
by the fact that I shared a house and my
formative years with a genetic aberration.
Jim, now a graphic designer, says,
“The best thing about being a triplet is the
novelty of it... people’s reactions. The worse
thing? Ditto.”
“Do they look alike? If one of them gets
hurt do the others feel it”? I was always
asked. And if I got questioned about it
constantly, there’s no telling how inundated
with questions they were.
Let’s break out the plusses and minuses
of growing up with triplet brothers, shall we?
• PLUS - If you get into a tussle at school,
you can say, “I have three older brothers, so
back of!”
• MINUS - They were as threatening as
warm kittens. Don was a buck toothed kid
with a perm. Lance, a melon-headed Mensa
boy. Jim, a bespeckled shrimp whose biggest
claim to fame in our family was going down
a very steep hill in a wagon without brakes,
injuring himself badly at the bottom of said
hill.
• PLUS - It was easy to play doubles tennis
14
with them.
• MINUS - They are very unathletic.
• PLUS - I got oodles of hand-me-down
clothes.
• MINUS - We wore velour, corduroy, and
vinyl.
• PLUS - I had my own room, while they
had to share a room all through high school.
• MINUS - They had so much darn fun
together.
• PLUS - Musical quartets were a snap
with me and the three.
• MINUS - They’re all atrocious musicians.
I remember, jarringly, the time when all
three were playing instruments in their
room (yes, they all shared a room, through
high school). The discordant cacophony of
drums (Don), violin (Lance) and flute (Jim)
- with me on trombone - sounded like an
injured walrus during rut.
• PLUS - More family members meant
more Christmas gifts for me!
• MINUS - We drew names for gift-giving
because there were so many of us. I don’t
recall any specific gifts I received from my
brothers, but one Christmas Eve night I do
remember a spirited game of “Butt Tag.”
• PLUS - More people with whom to play
car games on long summer road trips.
• MINUS - Cheaters, all of them. We’d be
playing the alphabet game. I’d be winning
handily, up to, say, the letter R, when they’d
change the rules!
• PLUS - When in trouble with Dad, I could
point my finger at many.
• MINUS - Dad could sniff out a liar. If not,
He’d sit us on that old brown couch until one
of us fessed up.
• PLUS - If the trio didn’t like what they
were eating, I could pick food off their
plates.
• MINUS - There was no food. After
school, ravenously hungry, we’d scavenge
for anything at all to eat in the cupboards.
I’d go for the Nesquick. Lance and Don, Salty
crackers. Jim, “Those silver BB things you
sprinkle on frosted cupcakes.”
• PLUS - Homework help from guys
smarter than I
• MINUS - They knew they were smarter
and more talented, and let me know it.
Lance, now a school counsellor, used words
like “dichotomy” at around age 5. Don, the
minister, was spiritually enlightened. Jim,
the artist, could draw logos of major league
baseball teams better than me even if
blindfolded and with hands tied.
• PLUS - Having loving brothers.
• MINUS - Can’t think of one.
Jim, Don, and Lance, my older triplet
brothers. We’re all in our 30’s now but can’t
help, when together, recalling our early days
with Mom, Dad, our older brother and sister,
living in a little rambler, eating nothing but
oatmeal for breakfast and spaghetti for
dinner. I won’t touch oatmeal now, and the
spaghetti had better be mighty tasty if it’s
going on my plate.
TODDLER
MY JOURNEY
WITH MY
TRIPLETS
My name is Nora and
this is my story.
I
n February 2009 my husband and I decided
to have a baby. We thought having a third
child would be nice as my daughter Bianca
was 14 and my son William was 11, and we
wanted a “Laat lammetjie”.
At the end of February I found out I was
pregnant and the joy and excitement was
overwhelming. We did an ultra sound straight
away just to confirm.
As the weeks past I went for another ultra
sound just to find out I’m expecting TRIPLETS
– naturally conceived. It was such a shock
and unbelievable. As the time went by I was
admitted in August 2009 for bed rest. Leaving
my two elder kids at home
and lying in hospital was very
traumatising for us. Being 38
years old and pregnant. I was
asked if I would have an amnio
done just to see if babies where
okay. I refused, because they
explained that if something
was wrong they would have to
abort the babies. Imagine how
emotional that was for me.
My due date was 21
Novemeber2009 and my
Triplets were born 9 October
2009 via caesarean due to
blood pressure.
Monique, Chloe and Connor
where born in the morning and I
got to see them in the afternoon.
As I went to ICU with my husband
I was still in shock as I still couldn’t
believe there where 3 of them.
They were so tiny and beautiful.
As I looked at them my body went
numb as I realised that Chloe was
Down syndrome. I walked over to
see the other 2 and just left the ICU
in a state. When I told my husband
about Chloe he said no it’s only
because they are so tiny – I was not
convinced.
Later on the Paediatrician called me to the
ICU and asked me if I was familiar with Down
syndrome and I said not really but that I did
know what they looked like. I told her I could
see that Chloe was DS and she said no Monique
is DS. I was so confused. She then told me to
leave as they had more tests they wanted to
do. As I returned to ICU I had a rude awakening
by the news that both my daughters were DS.
My little boy tested negative for DS.
I had a million thoughts going through
my mind. It was very emotional for both my
husband and I. The first thing I thought was
what the people are going to say about my
babies. We decided to tell our older children
just before we brought the babies home.
After explaining it in depth they had a lot of
questions.
It was difficult for all of us but as time went
by it became easier. Although there were many
obstacles on the way we worked through them.
The girls had to go for many check-ups and
hospital visits.
We love them dearly and cannot imagine
our lives without them. The support we got
was overwhelming. We had the DS ASS and
SAMBA to thank in so many ways. And the
support and understanding and acceptance we
received from our families is unforgettable.
Then in August 2011 Chloe became very ill
due to pneumonia.She was hospitalised for
2 weeks and sadly we lost her in Sept 2011. It
ripped us apart. All the questions I had, I could
not understand why The Lord would bless us
with triplets and then take 1 away just before
her 2nd birthday. We miss her so dearly and
lover her so much.
I still have Monique and Connor and they fill
the emptiness but not a day goes by that I do
not miss my baby.
Soon my babies will be 3 years old and
Monique is doing great.
Some days when we think
we cannot go on she
reminds us of what we have
and for that we are so great
full. Having DS children is a
challenge but they bring so
much joy into our lives.
We are blessed to have
been chosen to have these
special girls in our lives. I
cannot imagine my life
without them.
Please if you have any questions or
just want to talk you can contact
me NORA on 0798612119.
15
TODDLER
Raising twins in the Netherlands
In the Netherlands we have an annual tradition called Sinterklaasfeest. This feast is based on an old tale about a very old man
named ‘Sinterklaas’ (Saint Nicolas), who lives in a villa in Spain with
his ‘Zwarte Pieten’ (black helpers). Every year Sinterklaas and his
Zwarte Pieten visit the Netherlands for a couple of weeks, ending
their stay with the celebration of Sinterklaas’ birthday on December
5. Traditionally they bring loads of presents for the children. During
this time of year children put their shoe near the chimney before
they go to sleep, hoping that a Zwarte Piet will climb down the
chimney (that’s why they turned so black!), and leave a chocolate
letter or a hand full of pepernoten (tiny cookies) next to their shoes.
E
very year Sinterklaas will try to
treat all children equally. But as
you can imagine, for twin children
he finds it hard to decide whether or
not he should give the children the
same or different presents. He totally
understands this dilemma twin parents
have to deal with. How can you treat
two individuals equally while they need
16
to learn to distinguish themselves from
each other?
Individual attention
For us twin parents it can be difficult
to divide our attention between our
children equally. Some children simply
demand more attention then others. So
what can we do to make sure that we
pay enough attention to each child? And
also, how can we give our twin children
individual attention, when they’re
continuously keeping their eyes on each
other?
For me as a twin parent this
wasn’t easy to deal with. I realized the
importance of regularly giving individual
attention to my children, but I found
that doing so would often lead to a
struggle for my attention. Whenever
I tried to read to one of my girls, the
other one would join us immediately.
I would explain to them that they had
to wait their turn, but for my twins it
was almost impossible to be patient,
while one of them did get my attention,
and the other one didn’t. Now, as my
children grow older, it gets a little easier
for them to deal with these situations,
though every now and again they still
find it difficult. I regularly play games
with them individually, and they are now
starting to get used to the idea of letting
TODDLER
the other one get my full attention for
a while.
Unfortunately, during the day there
is not always enough time to play games
with your children individually. Also,
twins tend to struggle especially at
moments that you don’t have time to
give them special attention. Like early in
the morning when you are in a hurry to
get ready to go, or at the end of the day
when you need to cook.
My little helper
Luckily I have found a simple solution:
I let my children take turns being my
‘little helper’ every once in a while. On
these ‘helper days’, one of my children
is allowed to help me with all sorts
of things that usually cause conflict:
helping out in the kitchen and choosing
the best seat at the table, being the first
one to get into the car and choosing
where to sit, helping bake cookies, being
the first one to take a bath or the last
one to go to bed. I actually use every
single situation that can cause conflict
between my children.
By giving direction to my children’s
behavior I try to avoid possible conflict
situations. And it seems to work out
well! Having my children be my little
helper every now and then, I can see
their conflictuous behavior gradually
decrease. Even on non helper days. I
started to use helper days when my
twins were at the age of 4. And I still use
it sometimes now my girls are getting
older. Children learn quickly that there’s
no need to argue anymore. I found
out that as a parent you can actually
break this habit. And it’s such a relief,
both for the children and yourself. As a
variant on helper day, I sometimes let
my children be helper for a whole week.
I add some things, such as doing some
special activity, like going to a museum,
or preparing a nice meal together.
Give it a try!
This is a simple approach to dividing
attention in the twin situation. You
should give it a try with your twins and
let me know how it turns out! If you
like to learn more about raising twins,
please have a look at my website www.
twinsvideoblog.com.
Suzanne Lagerweij is a twin sister and twin mother from the Netherlands. Mothering her
9 years old fraternal twin girls Lois and Lora and her 7 years old son Kay, she understands
the challenges of twin parents completely. After her twins were born, Suzanne became
particularly interested in the topic of raising twins. Since finishing her Master’s in Child
Development in 2006 she has been following International Twin Studies and giving
parenting support to twin parents. Suzanne organizes workshops for parents and
professionals and she writes articles about raising twins for her Dutch websites. She
recently finished her second book Twinspiratie.
TODDLER
Christmas in
By Laura K. Lawless
I
France
Joyeux Noël ! French
Christmas Customs
and Traditions
n France, Christmas is a time for family and
for generosity, marked by family reunions,
gifts and candy for children, gifts for the
poor, Midnight Mass, and le Réveillon.
The celebration of Christmas in France
varies by region. Most provinces celebrate
Christmas on the 25th of December, which
is a bank holiday. However, in eastern and
northern France, the Christmas season begins
on 6 December, la fête de Saint Nicolas, and
in some provinces la fête des Rois* is one the
most important holidays of the Christmas
season. In Lyon, 8 December is la Fête de
lumières, when Lyonnais pay hommage to
the virgin Mary by putting candles in their
windows to light up the city.
French Christmas Traditions
French children put their shoes in front of the
fireplace, in the hopes that Père Noël (aka
Papa Noël) will fill them with gifts. Candy,
fruit, nuts, and small toys will also be hung
on the tree overnight. In some regions there’s
also Père Fouettard who gives out spankings
to bad children (sort of the equivalent of
Santa Claus giving coal to the naughty).
In 1962, a law was passed decreeing that
all letters written to Santa would responded
to with a postcard. When a class writes a
letter, each student gets a response.
Le Réveillon
Although fewer and fewer French attend la
Messe de Minuit on Christmas Eve, it is still
an important part of Christmas for many
families. It is followed by a huge feast, called
le Réveillon (from the verb réveiller , to wake
up or to revive). Le Réveillon is a symbolic
awakening to the meaning of Christ’s birth and
is the culinary high point of the season, which
may be enjoyed at home or in a restaurant
or café that is open all night. Each region
in France has its own traditional Christmas
menu, with dishes like goose, chicken, capon,
turkey stuffed with chestnuts, oysters, and
boudin blanc (similar to white pudding).
French Christmas Decorations
The sapin de Noël is the main decoration in
homes, streets, shops, offices, and factories.
The sapin de Noël appeared in Alsace in the
14th century, decorated with apples, paper
flowers, and ribbons, and was introduced in
France in 1837.
Another important aspect of French
Christmas celebrations is the crèche filled
with santons, which is displayed in churches
and many homes. Living crèches in the form
of plays and puppet shows based on the
Nativity are commonly performed to teach
the important ideas of Christianity and the
Christmas celebration.
Mistletoe is hung above the door during
the Christmas season to bring good fortune
throughout the year.
After Réveillon, it’s customary to leave a
candle burning in case the Virgin Mary passes
by.
*Epiphany is usually celebrated the 6th
of January, but in some places in France it is
celebrated the first Sunday after January 1st.
a note from TWINS
18
By us Chrimas happened in winter and we have
vacations. Sometime there is some snow and it
is magical. We enjoy the time before Chrismas:
it’s very fun to cook biscuits, decorate the pine
tree and the home. But the best is to meet all
the family and play to guess where presents are
hidden !
For Chrismas Eve, we all go to the church, it’s fun
because we always play a scene. Then we come
back and eat. Santa’s called “Father Chrismas”
come during the night to dispatch presents to
gentles child (we don’t really believe in, we are
10… but we enjoy tell the story to our 5 years old
little brother).
Merry Chrismas you all !
Félix & Grégoire | France
'TWAS
THE NIGHT
BEFORE
CHRISTMAS
TWINS
STYLE
By Craig Sanders
(Dedicated to my twin boys, Brady and Colby)
Twas the night before Christmas, and in our house full of grins,
Not a creature was stirring, not even the twins;
Side-by-side stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas would soon see the pair;
Our double blessings of joy were nestled, each snug in bunk-beds,
With visions of dual-controlled Gameboy sets dancing in their heads;
Mom collapsed on the couch, and I fell asleep on the floor,
It had been a long day, and soon the room was full of snore.
Alert to all sounds, there arose such a noise,
We immediately jumped to our feet, could that be the boys?
No! This came from outside and we looked on the lawn,
(ignoring the toys and bikes left there by our twins, Shane and Sean).
Christmas Lights What should we see there,
In front of our still-lit Christmas light display?
An amazing sight! Eight identical reindeer,
(Could they be clones?) leading a sleigh.
And guiding the team, pulling the reins with a jolt,
Was a grizzled, white-bearded old man (probably the dad of mults....)
Obviously used to barking out orders to a crew,
He whistled and shouted, calling out to his reindeer, two-by-two;
“Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZEN!
On to the twins’ house, it’s time to see,
If they have been good little boys, both Twin A and Twin B!”
And then, in a twin-inkling, we heard a noise up above,
“While on our roof,” I shouted. “Do you see the twins lost gloves?”
But just then down the chimney came St. Nick with a leap.
(It was quite loud in the house, would the twins stay asleep?)
He was decked in red and white, adorned all in fur,
And with a full grin, a father of twins to be sure!;
On his back was a bag, it was filled to the brim with toys,
Could those be gifts for our boys?
Santa with girl His eyes -- how they twin-kled! they had such appeal,
And by the looks of his belly, he didn’t miss too many meals.
His face was broad with cheeks that reminded us of bubbles,
With wide dimples that were second only to our double troubles;
He silently dodged the strewn toys and went straight to his work,
Filling both boys stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And with a wink and a jolly, old nod,
He exclaimed, “off to the Hartsfield’s home, they have quads!”
Our twins would be so full of glee,
Despite missing the sight near the tree.
But hopefully they heard St. Nick’s farewell as he sailed off in flight,
“MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!”
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20
AT TOYS*R*US
PRESCHOOL
10
tips for writing a
Christmas letter everyone loves
I
have vivid memories of my mother’s groaning
when Christmas letters began to flood our
mailbox. She found them pretentious, impersonal,
and, mainly, boring.
For many years, I resisted writing a family
Christmas letter. I didn’t want to ruin someone’s
holiday by forcing a friend to trudge through the
mundane events of my life. I had a horror of bragging
about my family’s accomplishments.
Still, far-off loved ones deserved to know what
had been going on, particularly after I gave birth
to twins. Friends loved our family and cared what
was happening in our lives. Could I strike a pleasant
balance? Could my letter be entertaining and
heartfelt, yet humble?
The answer is yes. My first Bernard Family
Christmas Letter, recounting our unique story, got
rave reviews from all recipients.
You’ve got a story to tell, too, and you can
produce a letter that will serve as a keepsake for years
to come. Here’s how:
Show, Dont Tell
Your high school English teacher’s rules apply. Lists of
what happened are plain boring. Instead of “I’m busy
all day long. I stay at home with my twins and have
a home-based business” try something on the order
of “I get up at 5am, do four loads of laundry every
day, change two diapers every two hours, and log
ten hours each week selling handmade jewellery on
eBay.” In other words, write specifics, using colourful
and descriptive phrases and concrete verbs.
Ask yourself, if someone were to spend a typical day
with you, what would he or she see? What strikes you
as funny or unusual about your life? What are you
doing that no one else is doing? How has your life
changed now that you are parenting multiples?
Mother’s Day Out, which would make a humorous
tale that illustrates your child’s stubbornness and
Mom and Dad’s frustrations.
Omit The Bragging
Lists of accomplishments are off-putting. Consider
that your children are probably doing the same types
of things other children their age are doing – making
the honour roll, earning badges in scouting, and
getting a Sunday school perfect attendance award.
Reserve bragging rights for really special life events;
say, acceptance to a soccer League school or receiving
Gauteng full colours for a sport. Self-deprecation can
be really funny and usually resonates more.
Get Personal
Use personal pronouns such as I, me, my and we.
Write the letter from your own prospective, not your
family’s. Your friends will know you actually sat down
and wrote a letter. One friend told me, “I love going
to the postbox at Christmas.” Make copies, but sign
each letter and scribble a personal note if you can.
Proofread And Edit
Run your computer’s spell-checker and grammarchecker tools. Ask your spouse, kids, or a friend to
read your letter and flag any mistakes or garbles.
Read it aloud to make sure it conveys your intended
tone and message. Sleep on it.
Include Pictures
Print It
If one picture is worth a thousand words, then
a picture of twins must be worth two thousand!
Find interesting pictures that capture your kids’
personalities or unique family situations. I included
a picture of myself enormously pregnant as we left
to deliver at the hospital. So many people on my
list never saw me pregnant. Maybe you’ll include a
picture of your daughter with marker ink all over her
face or your son unpotting a favourite houseplant.
It’s okay to include an adorable picture of your little
ones looking cherubic in holiday clothes, too, because
everyone loves those (if, of course, you can get the
shot with two or more wiggly children, which is the
topic of another article entirely).
Keep your printing understated. Choose paper with
a simple border or small holiday icon. Choose a font
that’s easy to read. (Something close to what you see
on this page is easiest for the human eye to follow.)
Save scrolls and swirls for large headlines. Use a dark
ink colour – black or blue. Reading your letter should
be easy. Your story should be your letter’s focus, not
the snowflake background.
Be Conversational
Write anecdotally in a folksy, warm tone, as if you
were telling your best friend about your year. Think of
funny things your kids have said and include them as
direct quotations. Keep a journal of cute things your
kids do or say. A friend records cute kid-sayings on a
piece of paper hanging on her fridge. She then stores
them all in a notebook.
Skip The Ordinary
Avoid Gimmicks
Leave out things everyone else is probably doing,
too. Most children who attend Mother’s Day Out
programs enjoy going. If your child were a Mother’s
Day dropout, or worse, to be kicked out, that’s an
extraordinary story worth telling. I once heard of
a child who refused to nap and was asked to leave
Unless you’re a clever, comedic writer, stick with
a traditional letter format. Gimmicky Christmas
letter can be as hard to decipher as haiku or cutesy
newspaper headlines. They often come across as
confusing and silly. Don’t frustrate your reader or
cause friends to think you’re really moronic.
Keep It
Save your letter for your scrapbook. Busyness causes
us to forget each year’s highlights. Too soon the days
blur together in our memories. Writing a Christmas
letter once a year may be your best (and only)
opportunity to record the uniqueness of your life with
twins. Take advantage of the occasion.
My foray into Christmas letter-writing was
daunting, but I received a flood of compliments
on my first attempt. My aunt said the letter made
her laugh and cry. My neighbour said I should write
a book. My friend said she was telling everyone my
daughter’s cute quotation. And my mother – the
Christmas-letter hater – read it over and over and
shared it with all her friends.
I am a devoted Christmas-letter writer. I’ll never
go back to signing our family’s name on a storebought card again.
Mary Parker Barnard is married to Chris and is the
mother of Susanna, 3, and twins Seth and Spencer, 1.
She is a freelance writer and editor
21
22
Lets
CELEBRATE!
Let’s Celebrate is an elegant, coffee -table book designed to inspire
those with a love for stylish entertaining and an equal appreciation
of delicious food. This book offers a variety of sixteen, spectacular
functions: from a child’s first birthday party to a genteel high tea.
Every one of us will find a celebration in this book to marvel at.
Each chapter contains photographs of all the relevant décor and
food, as well as detailed explanations, and easy to follow recipes
and tips. In conjunction with our Let’s Celebrate book, we offer a
range of exciting and upmarket products you can give as presents
or use to create your own unforgettable event – whatever it is you
are celebrating.
For more infomation on
Let’s Celebrate call Debbie on
0832641137 or email
[email protected]
23
Photos by Nerine Photography
24
PRESCHOOL
Easy Christmas Crafts
Gumdrop Pops
Cookie-Cutter
Ornaments
These cookie-cutter ornaments make great,
sentimental gifts; luckily they’re faster to make
than cookies are to bake.
Use inexpensive aluminum cutters and choose
patterned papers or pictures photocopied
onto card stock. Trace cutter on top; cut out.
Dab white craft glue along cutter’s edge. Press
paper in place; let dry. Thread narrow ribbon
through needle; poke between paper and
cutter, and wrap ribbon around top of cutter.
Slip a bead over ribbon’s ends; knot.
Stack gumdrops, dot them with sprinkles
and other candies in creative ways, and
watch the colorful confections come to
life as snowmen, Santas, and other icons
of the season. Wrap the candy pops in
cellophane bags, and then attach them to
gifts or slip them into stockings. Or create
a holiday display: Partially fill a large glass
jar with sanding sugar, and stand the
figurines on flower frogs in the sparkling
“snow.”
Slide gumdrops onto candy sticks to
create body of each pop. (Use leaf-shaped
gumdrops for holly pop.)
For Santa
Use top half of 1 small gumdrop for hat.
Trim 2 oblong candies for arms. Use
candy-coated seeds for buttons and pompom. Poke candy where facial features will
go with a skewer; use sticky tip to pick up
and place nonpareils for eyes and nose.
For Tree
Use 1 flattened gumdrop for base of tree.
Use 1 small gumdrop for trunk. Cut sides
from 1 gumdrop; press sides around top
of stick, for treetop. Flatten 1 gumdrop;
using an aspic cutter, cut out star. Insert
sprinkles for lights.
Snow Globes
The shimmering magic of snowfall is always transfixing, whether it’s outside your window or
inside this classic toy. Homemade globes let you create a wintry scene straight out of your
own imagination.
Almost any jar works for this project: Baby-food, pimiento, and olive jars are good
choices. Look for plastic or ceramic figurines (metal ones are prone to rust) at flea markets
and hobby or model-railroad shops. Synthetic evergreen tips are available at many floralsupply stores.
If the jar lids are not in seasonal colors already, paint them with oil-based enamel paint.
Sand the inside of the lid until the surface is rough. With clear-drying epoxy, adhere the
figurine to the inside of the lid, and let the epoxy dry.
Fill the jar almost to the top with distilled water; add a pinch of glitter and a dash of
glycerin to keep the glitter from falling too quickly. Don’t add too much, or the glitter will
stick to the bottom of the jar when it’s flipped. Screw on the lid tightly, being careful not to
dislodge the figurine. Turn the jar over and back again -- and let it snow.
Check out http://www.marthastewart.com for more great ideas
25
PRESCHOOL
How to TEACH your TWINS
to speak clearly
Your twins’ speech and language skills will have a significant impact
on their overall educational experience. Children who are good listeners and speakers often become strong readers and writers.
I
t’s well documented that twins often learn
to speak later, and develop more speech
and language difficulties, than single-born
children. But just because your children are
twins doesn’t mean they’re doomed to have
difficulties. It does mean parents of twins should
keep a close eye out for speech problems in their
children, and act quickly if something seems
“not quite right.”
Parents of twins sometimes tend to use
shorter and more direct phrases when talking to
their children, and have slightly less time for “real
“verbal exchanges with each child individually.
Also, since there is more competition between
twins for mom’s and dad’s attention, twins tend
to speak more quickly in order to get all the
information out at once. As a result, their faster
speech is sometimes not as clear and can be
difficult to understand.
Here’s the good news: Speech and language
development isn’t something you need to
set aside large blocks to time for in your busy
schedule. You can take advantage of the
hundreds of opportunities that exist each day to
stimulate your children’s skills as you go about
you daily life activities.
number of words. Talk to them about what you
are seeing, doing, feeling, and touching as you
cook dinner, vacuum the carpet , set the table, or
sort and fold the laundry. Describe your actions
as you make the bed, bake cookies, or simply
pour drinks for lunch. To your young twins, the
whole world is new and even the most routine
activities are an exciting learning experience.
Speak clearly and slowly to your twins about
what is happening around you. By doing so,
you make it easier for them to learn how to say
individual sounds and words. Use short phrases
and sentences, so your children can grasp
the rules of grammar easily. However, don’t
abandon complex sentences containing words
like” because” and “which” learn to express
these words earlier than children whose parents
seldom use them.
Altering the way you speak to your children
can make a large difference in their vocabulary
development. Instead of saying, “I will cut the
sandwich for you,” try saying, “I will cut the
sandwich in half for you.”Instead of, “We will be
there soon,” try saying,” We will be there in two
hours.”
Talk, talk, talk
If you silently plan your day while driving the car,
try this instead:
Say each child’s name in turn or say an
attention-getting word such as “Look!” and
name an object. Talk about the variety of sights
and sounds you see and hear as you drive.”Look
at the blue house. “or “Listen to the siren.”
Ask your pre-school twins to locate and
name things that are red, round or square. Find
numbers or letters on signs and bill boards.
Recite nursery rhymes, count out loud, or sing
a favourite song together. Talk to your children
about an upcoming or favourite family event.
Instead of preparing dinner silently, try
out Dolly’s method when her twins Ryan and
Andrew (now 11) were little:”When my children
were very young, I would put them in their high
chairs, roll them close to the counter so they
could see my actions, and I’d talk and sing to
them as I prepared dinner.”
Your twins will learn about the logical order
of events when you tell them about what you will
do first and what you will do after that.”First, I
One of the best ways to help your children learn
to talk is to speak to them, a lot. The more words
a child hears from birth, the more quickly they
learn to talk, and the greater their vocabulary
and their IQ. Daily exposure to words helps
strengthen and shape brain pathways that
foster thinking and learning.
A researcher from Chicago found that
2-year-old children of talkative mothers said
twice as many words as the children of mothers
who silently cared for their children.
Only “live language,” not television, helps
children develop their language skills. Experts
believe this is because children need to hear
language in relation to what happens around
them-in other words, they need “context” for
language to mean anything-or is it little more
than noise. Words must be delivered by an
engaged human being to have any meaning and
to be interesting to a child, and the child must
focus on the speaker and the environment.
Expose your twins to a large variety and
26
Using daily routines to learn
will put the butter in the bowl; I’ll stir the batter.”
Explaining what you are doing helps build
your child’s knowledge of action words.”I am
opening the oven door”.
Tell your twins “how many” and “how
much” of everything you’re using. That way
they’ll learn about quantity.”Two eggs” go into
the mix, or” One box of raisins.”Read a recipe
aloud and let your toddler twins’ help you follow
the directions.
When bathing and dressing your twins, talk
about body parts, kinds of clothes, and where
they go:”Shoes go on your feet, after your
socks.”Talk about how clothing feels:”Such a
soft sweater” or “rough jeans.”
Give simple directions to help your children
learn about spatial concepts.”Tilt your head
back. “or “Put your head through the neck hole
of your new sweater.”
Be a good model
To a twin, language is a way to bring closeness
and intimacy with each other, and is very
rewarding. Even before twins are able to say
real-sounding words, they communicate
making sounds that have a special meaning to
their sibling.
“When my twins were younger, I loved to
listen to their private conversations of grunts
and sounds as they hulled themselves to sleep
with the sound of each other’s voices.”(Kristen,
mother of Zach and Sean, 2)
In some cases, when twins begin to use
real words, they talk together using words
and sentences that only the two of them can
understand. Recent research has shown this
twin language, known as idioglossia, is not a
private invented language at all, as experts
previously thought, but a persistent use of
immature or incorrect speech patterns.
Most children, whether twins or not, create
some words of their own, or use incorrect
vocabulary, grammar and syntax when they
are learning to talk. Since twins usually spend
a lot of time together and have a strong desire
to communicate with each other, they listen to
each other saying words incorrectly and copy
each other’s poor syntax and mispronunciations.
These troublesome words grow more distorted
PRESCHOOL
and, as a result, only the twins can understand
them.
Twin language is not a cause of language
delay, but is most often seen in twins with
immature or delayed language.”Twin speak”
may indicate they’ll have a difficult time
learning to talk. A British study showed that
about half of all twins with speech and language
difficulties use twin language. Only 11% of twins
who develop language on schedule use twin
language.
If your twins use “twin language” with
each other watch closely to see they are also
developing communication skills necessary
to communicate effectively with others. Your
twins should learn and express new words at
least ever few weeks, and should use these
words to communicate with others.
Some parents think their twins’
mispronunciation of words is cute and,
will repeat incorrect pronunciations or
grammatical errors. Instead, give your child
many opportunities to hear words pronounced
correctly. If your child says a word incorrectly,
don’t ask her to “say it again” .Instead, say the
correct pronunciation, emphasizing the word or
sound with which she had difficulty.
For example, if your child says, “Me
do to pool,” try saying, “I do-go to the
pool.”Emphasize the “I” by saying it louder and
emphasize the “g” sound in “go” by stretching
it.
Encouraging twins to talk
Being a busy parent of twins often means
being able to translate your child’s attempts to
communicate without words. Your young child
walks to the refrigerator. You say,” Oh, do you
want some milk?” You pour the milk and say,
“Here is you milk, honey.”Your young child has
his needs met and hasn’t uttered a single word.
When you always respond to head nods,
grunts, or gestures, you deny your children the
practice they need to learn to say words and
sentences. If your children don’t ask questions
or express themselves in complete sentences,
help them by expanding words or short phrases
into full sentences.
Repeat what your child says and add one or
two words. Don’t change your child’s meaning,
but instead, make her remarks slightly longer.
For example:
Child:”Hat”
Adult:”Yes, blue hat.”
Asking your children questions is a great
way to develop their ability to learn, think and
explain, while practicing talking. Ask questions
to each child individually. Try to ask questions
8 Ways to help Your Twins Speak Clearly
• Be a good model.
• Tune in and follow their lead.
• Read and recite nursery rhymes to your twins daily.
• Gain your child’s attention before you begin to speak.
• Be a good listener-give each child time to finish talking
• Have fun with nursery rhymes and songs.
• Comment on sounds around you:”Hear the
airplane overhead?”
• Create learning opportunities-make conversation part of everything you do together.
5 Essential language learning methods
•
Naming-Teach word labels (nouns).
•
Describing-Teach qualities of objects and events, such
as colours, sizes, sound (adjectives and adverbs).
•
Explaining-Teach about time, logical order, action words, and things that go together (concepts, sequences,
verbs, pairs).
•
Direction –giving-Teach about spatial concepts.
•
Comparing-Talk about how objects, events, and people are the same or different.
that require more than a one-word answer or
a yes-no response. Instead of asking, “Did you
have fun in school today?”try, “What did you do
in art class today?”Before you begin to speak,
say his or her name, or use another attention
getter, such as a tap on the shoulder. Make eye
contact. When your child responds, praise him
or her individually.
Speech and language development
Twins acquire language just as single-born
children do; however sometimes they develop
it at a somewhat slower pace. Researchers in
Australia and the United States found that 3- to
5- year old twins are typically about six months
behind single-born children in their language
skills. This may be due to the higher rate of
prematurity among twins, or it may be related
to twins’ ability to communicate so effectively
with each other non-verbally. The good news
is that by age five, most twins are developing
language normally and differ very little from
their single-born peers in use of language.
Dorothy P.Dougherty, MA, CCC-SLP, has worked with
children and adults in school, private and clinical settings
for more than 28 years. She is author of “Teach Me How to
Say it Right: Helping Your Child with Articulation Problems”
and “How to Talk to Your Baby.”For more information go to
www.1speechproblems.com.
PRESCHOOL
MULTIPLES in school
As we get ready with planning a new school year ahead of us, parents with multiples are faced with the dilemma of do I separate or
keep my multiples together in the same classroom.
It was Multiple Birth Awareness week from the 4 – 11 November
2012 for ICOMBO and the theme this year was “School placement of
multiples, and issues regarding whether separation or not is best.”
T
he arrival of twins, triplets or more
brings many challenges for both the
parents and the children themselves.
One of the challenges faced by parents of
multiples is to foster the unique bond between
the children that began in utero, while at the
same time encouraging each child’s unique
development.
ICOMBO believes strongly that decisions
about classroom placement of multiples
should be made annually, on a case-by-case
basis, in consultation with the parents and
if age appropriate, the children concerned.
Just as each child is unique, each set of
multiples is unique. Some multiples thrive in
separate classes; others thrive in the same
class. Similarly, what works for a given set
of multiples one year might not work the
next year. Therefore, we believe that blanket
policies on this issue – either for separate or
same-class placement – are inappropriate.
Educators play an important role in
encouraging and facilitating individuality
and togetherness among multiples. To assist
you, we have provided some background
information on this topic, and some additional
resources that you may wish to consult.
Reasons for Separation:
While there is no substantial evidence to
support the policy of separation in order for
each child to grow and develop as individuals,
sometimes circumstances exist which would
indicate that separation is advisable. It is
helpful to recognise that some behaviours
may be an issue one year and not the next.
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
28
Constant ‘togetherness’ is hindering the
development of social skills in one, both
or more of the multiples;
A ‘division of labour’ exists;
Insensitive comparisons by teachers,
peers or even each other have led to
feelings of inadequacy in one or more of
the multiples;
The multiples form a ‘power unit’ which
is causing disruptive behaviour;
The children use their multipleship to
exploit, cheat or play tricks;
One or more of the multiples appears to
resent the lack of privacy resulting from
sharing a classroom;
One multiple proves to be a constant
distraction to the other/s;
In opposite-sex multiples, the female is
overprotective or ‘mothering’ the male
PRESCHOOL
Reasons to Keep Together:
Sometimes there are valid reasons for
keeping multiples together:
• Major emotional upheavals may
have occurred with the family, e.g.
divorce, moving house, death, etc;
• Only one classroom is available;
• Unequal education will be
experienced due to two different
teachers employing different
methods of teaching;
• Multiples are at or near the
same skill level in a skill-based
classroom;
• The multiples do NOT want to
be separated. Forced separation,
with all of the other ‘firsts’ children
face, especially in their first year of
school, can add undue stress, cause
regression and affect self-esteem.
•
•
co-multiple;
In skill-grouped classrooms where the
abilities of one of the multiples are far
above those of the co-multiple/s; and
The multiples WANT to separate.
Recommendations Regarding
Classroom Placement:
ICOMBO recommends that classroom
placement for each set of multiples be
evaluated each school year in order to
ascertain which is the best situation for them,
i.e. together or separated. The final decision
of having the children together or separated
should be made jointly by the parents, the
teacher(s), the principal, and at some stages,
the children themselves.
The information in this letter was originally produced by
Lynda P. Haddon for Multiple Births Canada (MBC). It has
been reviewed by Pat Preedy Ph.D., M.Ed., B.Ed. (UK),
John Mascazine Ph.D. (US) and Donna Launslager, MBC
Health & Education Committee Member
WEBSITES
www.twinsandmultiples.org
http://www.drnancysegaltwins.org/
BOOKS
Emotionally Healthy Twins: A New Philosophy for
Parenting Two Unique Children, Joan Friedman
Multiples in School, Australian Multiple Birth Association,
2010. Available through www.amba.org.au
Parenting School-age Twins and Multiples,
Christine Baglivi Tinglof, 2007
Twin and Triplet Psychology: A Professional Guide to
Working with Multiples, Audrey Sandbank, 1999
Understanding Multiple Birth Children
and How They Learn, John Mascazine
Tips for Teachers of Multiples:
• Separation in the first year of school should not be an automatic decision. The
added stress may actually reinforce their need to be together;
• Allow multiples as much independence as they are ready to handle. They flourish
when allowed to separate on their own timetable;
• Encourage them to choose separate classes as they gain confidence in the school
situation;
• Encourage multiples to sit apart for different class activities. This assists you in
identifying who’s who and discourages them from completing each other’s work;
• Look for differences in the multiples, not sameness, e.g. voice differences, left/
right handed, birthmarks, hair growth. Being able to address each multiple by his
or her individual name assists them in recognising that they are individuals;
• Some parents dress their children alike. If this is a difficulty in your classroom, ask
that the children be dressed differently for easier identification both for yourself
and their peers;
• Refer to each child by his or her own name. This helps you identify each child and
sets a good example for their peers to address them individually as well;
• Expect differences in test scores, neatness and behaviour but don’t be surprised if
they are very similar;
• For parent/teacher interviews, compare each child to their peer group and not to
each other;
• Make different interview times for each child rather than having one interview
time to talk about all the multiples at once. One mother of quadruplets noted it
was assumed by the teacher that they would be discussing all four children at one
interview
• If one multiple (especially monozygotic [identical] multiples) is markedly behind
the co-multiple, investigate the cause;
* Check to make sure that each multiple is doing their own work;
* Plan a meeting with the parents to explore the situation;
* Don’t rule out the possibility of a learning disability in one of the multiples.
29
buZy mommyZ
We chat to Jean Reah
mom to James,
Alex & Caitlyn
My secret little indulgence
A packet of Whispers for those chocolate
emergencies.
What one thing do you wish you knew more
about when you where pregnant?
What might bring on early labour! I went
shopping with our adopted daughter Amanda
on her 18th birthday and the Gynie said that the
walking had probably brought on labour. They
were born later that day at 34.5 weeks. Still, it’s
pretty cool having all 3 with the same birthday.
My children’s favourite toys
A magnetic set of sticks and balls and building
blocks or lego. Keeps them busy for hours.
My favourite restaurant is
The Cattle Baron.
What book are reading at the moment?
Boundaries with kids by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr.
John Townsend
What can be found in your handbag?
Sweets for my little girl to find during church on
Sundays, wet wipes and an emergency change
of clothes for my youngest, a 2 yr old. On a good
day my purse might even be there.
Why did you start your business?
I wanted to do something flexitime from home
while my children were still small. It’s difficult
to find part-time work, so I started my own
business. There were also products that we
couldn’t find easily, so I decided to source them
or even make them for my business and then
make them available to other Moms.
What is your favourite pastime?
Relaxing in front of the tv watching my favorite
show, Grey’s Anatomy
Your favourite website?
Facebook
Your favourite blogger?
None
The funniest thing your twins have said?
After watching the movie Annie, the kids were
in awe of the Indian man-servant of Daddy
Warbucks. 4yr old Alex said “I be changing my
name to be Punjab”.
A few months ago, my other 4 yr old son James
noticed the school logo on my husband Clint’s
shirt. He asked what it was and Clint explained
that it was the school badge and how one day
they would move up from the pre-school, to
the primary school and finally the high school
where hubby teaches. James considered this for
a minute and then said,”No, that’s not going to
work Dad, I don’t know how to teach big kids”.
What piece of advice do you have for parents
of multiples?
Cook bulk and keep ready made meals in the
freezer for when the babies come home from
hospital as well as those hectic days when you
can’t face cooking. If others offer you help, say
“Yes”. Also, cut yourself some slack. Having
multiples is demanding, just do the best you can
and let the rest be.
Favourite make up brand?
Olay
Favourite food?
Lasagne
What do you do for some “ me time”?
Scrap-booking
Favourite holiday place
Kruger Park
Twins favourite TV show
Little Einsteins
When did you start your business?
2010 When my twins were 2.5yrs and my
daughter 6 mths old.
What is it called?
Heir to the Throne
What is your website address?
www.heirtothethrone.co.za
30
Photo by Ester Helms
Where are you located?
I run my shop from my home in Randpark Ridge,
Randburg
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31
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