Toilet training newborns My Journey Great Christmas Crafts Inside
Transcription
Toilet training newborns My Journey Great Christmas Crafts Inside
MULTIPLE sons Summer Issue December 2012 Cover Price R35 sea Toilet training newborns Going on holiday with your multiples My Journey with my triplets Great Christmas Crafts Inside For that great feeling of doing the right thing, right from the start Everything we do now influences our child’s development later on. The NUK Teats were developed by orthodontists to be orthodontically correct, thus promoting the child’s development in the long term. The NUK FIRST CHOICE Wide Neck Bottle can be used for several purposes if treated with care. Once your baby has grown out of the teats, it can be used as a non spill learner bottle, from 6 months, by just adding a non spill spout and handle. When teaching your toddler to drink from an open cup you may want to first try the free flow spout which will only spill a little, in case of an accident. From 36 months you can then add the sporty and trendy Junior Cup Push Pull Top. All this with your original bottle, what a saving! Naturally all FIRST CHOICE Teats, Spouts and Push Pull Tops are interchangeable with all FIRST CHOICE Wide Neck Bottles, all of which are BPA free. Note: the handles only fit the 150ml bottles. It is never too early to think of the future. 0-6 MONTHS+ 6 MO N THS + FIRST CHOICE TEATS BREAST PUMPS WITH FIRST CHOICE BOTTLES FIRST CHOICE BREAST 150ml AND 300ml MILK CONTAINERS MO NTH ACTIVE CUP S+ 24 MONTHS+ LEARNER BOTTLE WITH NON-SPILL SPOUT N 12 MO THS H FLEXI CUP S+ YOUR FAVOURITE NUK BOTTLE GROWS WITH YOU! JUNIOR CUP 36 FIRST CHOICE SPOUTS AND HANDLES O 6M N T + For more information, please visit our website at: www.nuk.co.za or e-mail us at: [email protected], Artemis Brands (PTY) LTD, www.artemisbrands.co.za, Tel (011) 430 5600, PO Box 130782, Bryanston, 2074, South Africa. NUK is a registered trademark of MAPA GmbH/Germany NUK South Africa NUK_SouthAfrica World of NUK (210x275) English.indd 1 The Orthodontists’ Choice 08/03/2012 09:4 Christmas is upon us. The year has flown and for all those parents who will be experiencing their first Christmas with their multiples it is sure to be a lot of fun filled with magical moments and unforgettable memories. FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK multiple seasons We have focused on the theme of Christmas in this edition with great arts and crafts ideas and how to write the perfect Christmas letter for all your friends and family both locally and abroad. Gayathrie shared her story with us on taking her twins for their first overseas trip to meet the family last Christmas. Emma had her ten year old twins write a short note about Christmas in France. English is not their home language so we appreciate all the hard work. Suzanne from the Netherlands shared her Christmas story with us about the traditions of Sinterklaas and how she has her twins take turns in being the “ Little Helper” for the day. I love hearing about the different beliefs and traditions around the world surrounding Christmas, each county has their own way of making it magical. Nina Pool has shared her rare story about her quads. She is one of eight documented people in the world to have experienced the rare phenomenon of having two sets of identical twins in one pregnancy. Don’t forget to go to our Facebook page and share all of your wonderful Christmas photos with us. If you are going away remember to buckle up and report any unbuckled children to Bucklemeup on Twitter. From the Multiple Seasons team we wish all of our families a wonderful Christmas and a blessed new year. See you again in 2013 MARION On the COVER On the cover is mom Rozwyn Sawyer and her girls Jessica Paige and Jody Anne Sawyer. They were born at Bedford Gardens Hospital via Caesarean on 21 April 2009. Jessica weighed 2.33kg and Jody weighed 2.26kg. They are both very inquisitive and are asking lots and lots of questions. They attend Froggies Playgroup where they have grown in leaps and bounds over the last year and have made many new friends. Next year they will be going to Stepping Stones Nursery school. Image take by Ester Helms Photography www.esterhelm.co.za Every Issue: 4 Fabulous Finds 13 Giveaways 20 Photo page 30 Buzy Mommyz 32 Classifieds Your Baby: 2 Toilet Training Newborns 5 Quarduplets 6 Prematurity & motor delay in multiple burths 8 Understanding Reflux 11 Amazing Facts 12 Going on holiday with your twins Your toddler: 10 Getting your kids into 14 15 16 18 19 showbusiness Growing up with triplet brothers My journey with my triplets Raising twins in the Netherlands Christmas in France Twas the night before Christmas, twin style Your Preschooler: 21 10 Tips for writing a Christmas letter everyone loves 22 Let’s Celebrate 25 Christmas Crafts 26 How to teach your twins to speak clearly 28 Multiples in school BABY Toilet training Newborns: Parents grab hold of trends to potty-train infant twins. The very mention of potty-training newborn infants elicits reactions ranging from skepticism and confusion to intimidation, amazement and plain old curiosity. Who wouldn’t be delighted at the prospect of shortening the years of diaper-changing, accidents, diaper costs and inconvenience? Written By Donna Hoke Kahwaty P arents of multiples can only dream of how blissful life would be without constant diaper changes, and almost endless purchases of disposables, times two. But we’ve all grown up in a diaper culturewith the idea that children should toilet train when they are ready. So the notion of teaching a very young infant to urinate or poo on command, using a potty from birth, is a foreign one. And I mean that both literally and figuratively. Infant potty training (commonly called IPT)-or Elimination Communication (EC), as it is sometimes called-has been used extensively in other countries long before it made an appearance in U.S. “My theory is that it goes way back to the beginning of human time,” says Laurie Boucke, author of Infant Potty Training: A Gentle and Primeval Method Adapted to Modern Living. “Like animals, we didn’t diaper. We were likely in warmer climates, where there was no furniture, but over time, maybe we started using natural things like animal skins or leaves, and those evolved into diapers.” It’s clear from the amount of interest in the diaperfreebaby.com website that a growing number of parents, once hearing about IPT, find themselves curious enough to give it a try. They take the leap for myriad reasons: Earlier completion of toilet training; increased bonding with their babies; cost savings, environmental reasons; fewer diaper rashes or simply better all-round hygiene. “A friend had a lot of success with her baby in the first six months,” says Wendy Matteucci, a mother of 4 year old twins. “Her success, and reading about the history of infant potty training throughout the world convinced me it must work. Everything about it was a plus; there were no drawbacks. I knew I was staying home with (my twins) and I thought if it worked for so many people, I 2 could make it work for me. And work it did.Matteuci first held her babies over a small potty when they were only 7 weeks old, and dripped warm water over their genitals as instructed. “Taylor peed the first time and Tess peed the second time, and I never had to use water again,” Wendy recalls. “I also made the ‘ssssss’ sound and used a sign for toilet, even though they were only seven weeks old. By the end of the first week, they were both peeing regularly on the potty, so I knew that it was working.” Of course, at seven weeks, “working” doesn’t mean that every single time a baby eliminates, he or she is going to the potty. “It is important to emphasize from the start that IPT is about working with infants towards accomplishing what is commonly known as potty training, “says Boucke. “The process is more akin to teamwork and interconnectedness than actual training.” Over time, parents will recognise patterns of elimination in each baby, and cues that a child is about to urinate or have a bowel movement;often,it’s simply a matter of putting babies on the potty at logical times-after eating, or following a long car trip or nap. The process becomes a form of conditioning, and the habit becomes ingrained. Matteucci initially took her babies to their little potties at natural intervals -after naps, following car rides, after eating-and very quickly the babies began to anticipate their trips to the potty, and they would hold their urine until they were taken to the toilet. As babies grow a bit older and become more conscious of the process, they begin to communicate their needs on their own. Long before they are fully trained, IPT’ed children already have a great deal of control over their bodily functions. “When Tess was only 2 and a half months- BABY old, she went 17 days without a poopy diaper, and she was bowel- trained completely by 16 months,” Wendy marvels. “Even before that, there were benefits, too, because they are holding their urine and their bowels, so they never pooped in the car or in public. I think I used a diaper- changing station maybe once. After a year, they never pooped at nap time. They’d wake up and cry and I’d take them to the potty and they’d go back to bed.” For children who are prone to diaper rash, eliminating times when a child may be stuck in a soiled diaper for more than a few minutes-or eliminating soiled diapers entirely-maybe reason enough to try IPT. That was the case for Julie DeWyse, a mother of 4- year old twins. When her twins were only five months old, her son was suffering from such horrible diaper rash that she went online looking for solutions to alleviate his pain. There, she found Boucke’s book and figured she had nothing to lose. “It helped because we could catch some of his pees and poops, and he wasn’t crying so much, “DeWyse says. “If it weren’t for Wyatt, I probably never would have known about it.” Though Julie started IPT with the hope of helping Wyatt, she admits the idea of getting rid of diapers sooner rather than later was appealing. “Diapers weren’t horrible, “she says,” but it was just another chore, so I didn’t feel like this was a waste of time. And if you add up the time you spend changing diapers or washing them, I’m not sure it took any more time than that. “The end result: Tressa was fully toilet trained by 18 months, Wyatt shortly afterward. Julie had equal success with her third child, a singleton. Both Matteucci and DeWyse took a relaxed attitude to IPT, something that Boucke says is vital: “I advise parents to keep a balance in everything they do, not to become obsessive about this. Stay relaxed. Especially with two babies, it’s better to start out with just a few potty visits a day and gradually increase, because you’ll experience burnout if you try to be there every time they go.” That’s advice Emily Gelbert, a mom of 3-month old twins has taken to heart. Though she’d always wanted to do EC-she never liked the idea of children sitting in their dirty diapers-she worried it might be more difficult with twins. ”Now my motto is to do everything ‘perfectly imperfect, ‘especially with twins, “she says.” I’m doing EC infrequently; I’m not catching every poop, and I don’t know all their cues yet, but this is what perfect looks like for a new mother of twins who is new to the system. But I’m not going to give up because I think it’s worth it and I’m willing to do it imperfectly.” That is definitely the right attitude, Boucke says. “For some parents, it resonates and they want to try it, “she observes,” but no one should feel pressured.Its’not about rushing toilet training: it’s about trying to work with kids when they have this awareness. It’s a gradual process.” In the end, IPT is just one more choice-for both parents and children. There is no right or wrong. “After Tess and Taylor knew what the toilet was for, it was up to them to make the choice to use it.I didn’t make it for them.” Matteucci points out, “There was no reward for the going in the toilet, no punishment for going in their diapers. They couldand sometimes did-soil their diapers when the need arose, without fear of condemnation. It was clear to me early on that they preferred the toilet, so I just kept offering them the option. People think you’ve become some kind of supermom to do this, but that’s not true; it just becomes part of the day.” IPT actually has a relatively long history in this country, too, but it wasn’t called IPT or EC, and never caught on until recent years. Maybe part of the popularity derives from increased international travel to Asian countries by younger people during the last decade, and exposure to different ways of caring for children in other countries. Although a form of early potty training was promoted by the U.S. government in the early 1900s,it was more a punitive method that bears only a minor resemblance to infant potty training (so-called IPT) as it’s practiced today.Later,in the 1950s,Dr. Spock convinced a generation of parents not to rush their children. And even more recently, we have become still more lenient, watching for toddler cues and initiatives that demonstrate our children are indeed ready to give up their diapers. “The problem,” says Boucke “is that some kids never show the signs or take the initiative because diapers are so comfortable. Children are getting toilet trained much later than they used to.” SOURCES www.pottywhisperer.com http://diaperfreebaby.com www.whizkidz.biz 3 R380 Graco Twin Pack n Play R450 R3999 Twintrexx ™ Incl post and packaging R2300 R450 Twinneroo Twin Diaper Bag Products Sourced from Green grass Shop Parkhurst | www.greengrassdesign.co.za Polly Potters Toy Shop Parkhurst | www.pollypotterstoystore.co.za Posh Baby Botique www.poshbabybotique.co.za Multiple Blessings www.multipleblessings.co.za 4 R2499 Nerine Photography R1400 Milk Expresso machine BABY Quadruplets By Nina Pool After many years of waiting we found out last year that I was pregnant. At the six weeks scan the doctor located three embryo’s indicating that one of the embryo’s had split forming an identical set. A t the nine week scan it was confirmed that we had four fetuses and two sets of identical twins. We were then referred to Dr. van Rensburg at Medfem as he specializes in high risk pregnancies like this. He treated me with a variety of preventative medication. This ensured that despite having a circlage I never had any infection that could affect the babies. At 27 weeks gestation I went into premature labour and was admitted to hospital. I had to stay for two weeks while they stopped the contractions and ensured that all the babies were still healthy. At 28 weeks the doctor started giving me cortisone treatments to ensure that the babies’ lung development and surfactant production would be sufficient. This is a very rare event, even rarer than four identical quads from a single embryo. No one really knows how often it occurs, but there have been 8 clinically documented cases like this worldwide. The quads were born on the 19th of March this year at the SandtonMediClinic at 31 weeks gestation. We decided on this hospital as it was clear very early on that they will be premature and the hospital probably has one of the best NICU’s in the country. Cara was the weakest and stayed on oxygen for two hours. Despite being two months premature they were all quite strong. In order of birth the weights were as follows: Neanè: 1,24kg Cara: 1,16kg Hendrie: 1,38kg Cobus: 1,32kg We were lucky that none of them had any serious infections and they progressed quite well. Hendrie was discharged after 62 days in hospital. The others followed ten days later, so for them the stay was a full 72days. I did express from birth and it was enough to ensure that each of them at least got one breast milk feed per day until they were six weeks with the rest being premature formula. At that stage I had to restart my MS medication and they were put onto only formula milk. My mother is staying with us and during the day I have a nanny to assist, but at night it is only my husband and I that look after them. Even though there is very little sleep, things are actually going very well. They are all healthy and only Cobus has a cardiac problem. He’s already had one operation and will probably have the next one early next year, but despite that he is growing and healthy. It is not only our arms and home that is full, but our hearts are also overflowing with love and joy. 5 BABY Prematurity & Motor Delay in Multiple Births Prematurity is defined as birth occurring at less than 37 completed weeks of gestation. In developing countries such as South Africa, the premature birth rate is as high as 25 percent. This group is further divided into various subgroups: ‘very preterm’ refers to infants born at less than 32 weeks of gestation, while ‘extremely preterm’ is used to describe infants born at less than 28 weeks gestation. Written by Jeanette Bensted-Smith a Paediatric Physiotherapist and Diana Coetzer T wo further subgroups have received increased attention more recently as they account for more than 80 percent of preterm births. These two groups are: the ‘moderate’ preterm, which are infants born between 32 and 34 weeks of gestation and the ‘late’ preterm which are infants born between 34 and 37 weeks gestation. Multiple gestations such as twin and triplet pregnancies are at risk of preterm birth. The majority of twins (as much as 60 percent) deliver within the moderate and late preterm birth period with the majority of triplets delivering within the moderate preterm birth period. Increased research into the developmental outcome of moderate and late preterm infants has come about due to the rapid rise in multiple births, which between 1980 and 2004, had increased by 70 percent. This increase in multiple births is directly associated with the advances in assisted reproductive technology. 6 The link between prematurity and developmental delay is well established in the literature with a decreased gestational age directly linked to increased developmental difficulties (Allen, 2008). Preterm infants are more likely to suffer from motor co-ordination difficulties than a child born at full term (Gallahue at al, 2006). While these motor difficulties, particularly in the moderate and late preterm groups may not be severe, there is increasing evidence to suggest that this group of children are at risk of developmental delay at preschool age when compared with children born at full term. These children are often classed as being quite ‘clumsy’ and may struggle to perform age appropriate tasks to the same standard as their peers. These difficulties with postural and motor control observed later in the child’s life may be explained by the time spent in the NICU environment (Vaivre-Douret et al, 2004). Postural control or balance is the ability to maintain the centre of body mass over a stable or moving base of support. Often in the NICU, preterm infants are nursed on their stomachs as it aids respiratory function. However prolonged use of this position results in muscle imbalance leading to trunk extensor dominance and is associated with poor head control, late sitting, early standing and behavioural hyper excitability with resistance to postural change. The key to minimising developmental delay is early intervention. Infants should be followed up regularly so that their development can be closely monitored from birth up until the age of 5 years. Early intervention is believed to be of benefit as the infant brain is believed to be most capable to making changes particularly between two and three months and six and eight months after term age. Physiotherapists and Occupational Therapists specifically trained in the area of infant development can be consulted to monitor and facilitate and develop and thus minimise developmental delay. BABY A CASE STUDY 1 nna and Ingrid were born at 34 weeks, weighing 1.3 and 1.5 kgs respectively. Neither experienced any difficulties during or after birth, but remained in neonatal intensive care for nearly 4 weeks. The twins achieved the important motor milestones of crawling and sitting approximately one month later than what would be expected, however within normal limits when their corrected age was taken into account. They were referred for physiotherapy by their crèche at the age of 13 months as they were not yet walking and were generally quite weak. A child not walking at 13 months is not yet a great cause for concern, but in this case given their birth history their parents decided to intervene early. On assessment, both twins presented with low muscle tone and significant weakness. In particular, both twins presented with pelvic girdle instability and difficulty with weight shift and transfer which would explain why they were not walking. Physiotherapy focussed on improving the above mentioned aspects and a programme was followed by the class teacher and parents. Within a few sessions, both twins were able to stand independently and their strength had improved significantly. While Anna had initially appeared to be the stronger twin, Ingrid progressed more rapidly and was taking steps within 4 sessions of physiotherapy. Anna required further sessions of physiotherapy. Both twins were discharged from physiotherapy and were walking with ease. They will continue to be monitored. This case study demonstrates that motor delay, when identified early is easily correctable and goes a long way to contributing to overall development. Early intervention is definitely preferable rather than waiting for delay to be well established and thus more difficult to treat. O N L Y R 6 9 D E L I V E R Y N A T I O N I D E Video Monitors ONLY R 69 COURIER DELIVERY NATIONWIDE www.poshbabyboutique.co.za Twin Cots & Camp cots Contour Options LT Tandem Strollers Jeep Tandem Stroller Cossato Stroller Ride on/ Toys Twin Plus Deluxe Nursing pillows P L A C E O R D E R S O N L I N E BABY Understanding Reflux Reflux can often present a challenging and distressing time for both baby and parent with lack of sleep, crying and frustration all round. Through the correct management and understanding of reflux, it can be an easier journey for all concerned What is reflux? To understand reflux, it is important to have a basic understanding of the anatomy. As the stomach fills with food and liquid, the lower oesophageal sphincter (LES) closes tightly to prevent the stomach contents from moving back up the food pipe (oesophagus) When the LES is weak, or underdeveloped, the acidic contents of the stomach push back up the food pipe (oesophagus), sometimes into or out of the mouth causing a burning sensation. This is called reflux. Most babies experience discomfort, pain or a burning sensation, which is most often displayed as fussiness, crying or poor sleep. How to make a diagnosis Babies are often labelled with “colic” due to excessive crying and irritability. But is it colic or in fact reflux? Your health care provider (clinic nurse, doctor or specialist)will be able to diagnose reflux, based on your observations. Common signs of reflux: 1. Back and neck arching (baby pushes tummy out and head back to stretch the oesophagus to relieve the pain; 2. Spitting up or vomiting (although some 8 babies don’t spit up); 3. Irritability or crying especially after feeds; 4. Fussy feeding (babies tend to suck hungrily at either the breast or the bottle at first then pull off or shake his head from side to side, arch his back and neck and cry whilst feeding); 5. Restless or disruptive sleep, (waking shortly after being put down to sleep as in discomfort and often wakes upset or crying); 6. Choking, coughing or a constant stuffy nose; 7. Failure to gain adequate weight (due to having small feeds because of pain and/ or frequent vomiting); 8. Show huge weight gain (due to comfort feeding); Babies do not have to necessarily have to present all of the above signs to be suffering with reflux What can you do to help • There are several treatment options available and many lifestyle changes to implement that can help your baby • Find a good support system through a doctor or a clinic sister • During the day, use a sling or a baby • • • • • • • • • carrier when you can – being close to you will make baby feel a sense of comfort and security. Also being upright will make baby feel more comfortable Swaddle baby for all sleeps Sleep at a 30 + degree angle Preferably position baby on his left side You may wish to use a Sound Breathing monitor in case baby chokes (e.g. Angelcare monitor) If using formula, try thickening baby’s feeds (ask your clinic sister to guide you) Use medication if necessary to reduce their amount of stomach acid Keep a burp cloth handy at all times Travel with plenty spare clothes and a spare shirt for yourself Educate yourself on reflux so you can be confident in managing your reflux baby (many more helpful tips available in the “The ultimate survival guide to reflux.” By Gro Baby Diaphragm Esophagus Lower Esophageal Sphincter (LES) Stomach Pylorus Liquid Guarding over your little angel Soothing Night Light Alarm sounds if baby stops breathing for more than 20 secs Infrared Night Vision Built-in Camera Two-way Communication Microphone and Speaker Nursery Unit Suitable to monitor through any thickness mattress * Nursery Unit can be screwed into a camera tripod to angle camera exactly over baby. The Sensor Pad is placed under baby’s mattress and monitors the tiny movements of baby’s breathing. We recommend that you monitor baby’s breathing for at least the first 6 months, thereafter you have the option to disconnect the Sensor Pad and use it on the sound only function. Angelcare gives you peace of mind to get the rest you need Millions of parents worldwide rely on Angelcare CUSTOMER CARE: 011 791 6309 www.angelcare-monitor.co.za Touch Screen Programming Volume Control Two Way Communication Speaker Charging Cradle Parent Unit (rechargeable batteries included) Enjoy the convenience of portable wireless baby monitoring AC401 Movement and Sound Monitor Detects baby’s sound and breathing AC401 DELUXE Movement and Sound Monitor AC420 Sound Monitor Crystal clear sound reception AC300 Movement Monitor (Apnoea Monitor) Apnoea/Breathing monitor ADVERTORIAL H Getting your KIDS into showbusiness ow often have you watched a TV commercial or programme and wondered if you or your children would be suitable enough to be chosen for a part? Well the good news is that every person stands a chance at being selected. Chameleon Casting Agents are based in Wynberg, Sandton and also have an office in Cape Town. I took my four boys along to register and what fun we had. It was a quick and painless task. I was required to take a long a copy of my ID, proof of address, bank details ( waiting for that BIG pay check ) and my tax number. While I was doing this they where whisked away to have their photos taken. When it was my turn I had to do what every women dreads, I had to be measured and declare my dress size but the staff make you feel comfortable at all times. Twins are in demand for all types of shoots but especially identical twins. I am sure everyone has seen the latest Macain advert, the twin boys used in that advert came from Chameleon Casting and received a whopping R36 000.00 combined for their hard work. Macain has since gone on to request their services for a second advert to be filmed in December. Chameleon Casting agents have been around for many years. They have many multiples on their books and are always looking for more. They accept everyone from pregnant moms, new born babies right up to grannies and grandpas. So take a chance and register you and your children you never know what can happen, Brad Pitt’s career started off in commercials. Written by : Marion Smith mom of four boys aged 12, 7 and 3 1/5 year old twins Chameleon Casting is filled with all colours, shapes and sizes & has the perfect character for you! We haved recently moved to gorgeous, new offices and have motivated staff waiting to fill your brief; our computerised database, up to date pics and fresh faces ensure efficient service to you. • • • • Thousands of Film Extras Bit part / Day Players /Characters Stand-ins / Doubles Voice Over / Post-Sync Voices Chameleon is a member of the Official Casting Association of SA. email us your casting or photo brief to [email protected] Contact new owner Florence or Mamphuthi We’d love to hear from you Call 086 111 2054 / 011 440-2184 www.chameleoncasting.co.za 670 Main Pretoria rd, cnr Arkwright (entrance), Wynberg/Sandton … ordinary people for extraordinary results 10 BABY Amazing Facts Why there are so many twins today! T his question has become more complicated in recent years, partly because of the introduction of artificial reproductive means (in vitro fertilisation) in the mid-1970’s. Since then, the rate of twinning has risen progressively into the new millennium. In vitro fertilisation leads to multiples in as many as 30% of cases. Attempts to reduce this frequency by limiting the number of transferred embryos to two have been only partially successful. For numerous medical reasons, gestations of two or more babies are much more prone to complications (e.g., preterm labour, congenital anomalies, and gestational diabetes). To prevent such problems both for the mother and her babies, before and after delivery, the generally accepted approach these days is to keep the number of resulting foetuses to a minimum. On the other hand, spontaneously conceived (natural) pregnancies are prone to twinning for any of several reasons: Family history, race, parity, (that is, the number of a mother’s previous pregnancies), and maternal age at conception. And these pregnancies with multiples are also on the rise. Recently, I published a research paper that reported the effect of diet on twinning frequency. In that report I speculated that part of the increase in spontaneous twinning may be due to the administration of growth hormones to cattle, but this remains to be confirmed. According to Hellin’s Rule (formulated in 1895), spontaneous twins should occur once in every 89 births. Using the average numbers for Mothers of twins often ask: “What are the chances that I will have another set of multiples if I become pregnant again?” large populations in current databases, some statistics for twinning can be estimated. (For more details, see www.threebluestars.com/ multiples.): • In 2001, 3.1% of all births in the U.S. were twins (spontaneous and induced. NOTE: Induced twins include all pregnancies resulting from or incidental to the use of fertilityenhancing drugs and/or in vitro fertilisation.). In Europe, the twinning rate was roughly half that. (Growth hormone treatment of cattle is banned in the European Union.) • In the U.S., 1 in 50 people is a dizygotic fraternal) twin and 1 in 150 is a monozygotic (identical) twin. • If a woman has already had dizygotic (fraternal) twins, her chances of having another set spontaneously are 4 times higher (i.e., 1 in 3000 births for two sets). • A woman who is dizygotic (fraternal) twin herself has 1 chance in 17 of giving birth to a set of twins. • Since dizygotic twinning appears to be inherited through the mother, having a husband who is a twin seems to make no difference. • Twinning does not skip generations (as was once thought.) • Certain fertility drugs increase the chance of conceiving twins (e.g., clomid – 1 in 15). • Approximately 70% of all twins being born currently result from fertility treatment. • African-Americans are more likely to conceive twins spontaneously than Caucasians. The rate for Asians is even lower. • Fertility decreases with age. For those pregnancies that do occur, older women have twins more often than younger women, especially women 35 to 39 years old. Between 1969 and 1994, the percentage of women over 30 having their first baby rose from 4% to 21%. • The more children a woman has, the more likely she is to finally have a set of twins. • Taller women have twins more often than shorter women. • A woman who conceives while she is breastfeeding a previous baby is 9 times more likely to have twins than if she was bottlefeeding with cow’s milk or formula. Although these numbers are prone to change in the future, they give a rough idea that certain women are more likely to have twins. Statistics apply to populations, not to individuals. The “law of large numbers” is at work here. What may happen to any particular woman is difficult to predict. For example, the chance of having a boy is about the same as having a girl, but we all know of large families with exclusively one or the other. Although Hellin’s Rule would suggest that any given family needs to have 90 pregnancies for sets of twins to occur, in reality multiple-multiples happen quite often. And as a matter of fact, many extended, blood-related families with five or more sets of monozygotic or dizygotic twins have been reported. Dr. Steinman is an OB/ gyn in Astoria, NY. If you have specific questions for him about zygosity, email him at [email protected] BABY going on holiday with your multiples My husband and I made the brave yet crazy decision to fly to England for a big family Christmas when our twin girls were 6 months old. This was Christmas 2011. We really didn’t know what we had let ourselves in for. Written by Gayathrie Schatz I started planning and packing for this trip weeks in advance, as this was the first time were we flying with the girls. We flew British Airways. There were numerous calls made to the airline ensuring that we have a cot and bassinette booked for the flight so the girls can sleep. We also were booked on a day flight over. Note to self: Never fly day flight again. Looking back I did slightly over pack for the trip. I took way too many bottles as the girls were still having 4 bottles a day. Just make sure once you have boarded, you ask the airhostess to start cooling some boiling water for you for the formula. I wasn’t sure of the sterilising situation on the plane so I took all the bottles I had at home. Sterilised and ready to go. Took a few of the girl’s cuddly toys, although at 6 months there weren’t really into cuddly toys. It was more to occupy them for a while. I also found great disposable bibs for the flight. This was great as you didn’t have to lug around soaked bibs. I found them at the Reggies store. The girls were on solids by then, so I took a few Hipp jars for their lunch. And let’s not forgot – many, many nappies. So the big day arrived. Our flight was at 8am, which meant me having to get up at 4.30, get myself ready, then get my hubby up, pack up the car, then wake up the girls, then a quick nappy change and off we went to the airport. I have to say, our girls were little troopers on the morning. No crying or anything. Get to the airport and ready to check in. This is where the fun began! The lady at British Airways didn’t know what had hit her when she advised us there weren’t any cots or bassinets booked on our reservations and they wanted to separate my husband and I apparently, due to safety reasons, they cannot have 2 babies next to each other. This was something to do with the oxygen masks. This is where the wrath of a new twin mother who had been making numerous calls to ensure that we don’t have a situation like this comes in. I was furious. I really didn’t care whose fault it was on the airline side but I was given the incorrect information and I needed this situation sorted out. Kindly management did. They placed us very close to each other and the twins got a cot and bassinette! We are finally on the plane. It was quite a manoeuvring job on my husbands and my part to put our luggage away whilst holding our babies. That’s the things with twins. You just don’t have enough hands. You’d think the air hostesses will be there to help, but that too shouldn’t be taken for granted. For the take off, we gave our girls their morning milk. The suckling effect protects their little ear drums whilst take off. A dummy will also to the trick. They did sleep abit on the journey but not much. Mine don’t really sleep much during the day anyway. The girls were fine for most of the journey but started becoming a bit niggly and wingy towards the last couple of hours. We were all tired and having two crying babies wasn’t ideal. Poor little things. We did receive a comment from the air hostess to please make our babies stop crying as there were other passengers complaining! I mean the nerve! Like I enjoyed having a crying baby let alone 2! After 11 long hours we finally landed in Heathrow. Passport control cleared and we were nearly home free! Just the two hour car journey from the airport to my in laws house to get through. This was actually a breeze. The girls were tucked up in their car seats and managed to have a nap, and I think my husband and I also managed to crash out whilst the driver drove us to our destination. Christmas was special. The girls met their cousins for the first time. It was a special time bonding with their paternal grandparents. They weren’t crawling at the time. Just small movements. Those were the days when you could leave them in one place and find them in the same spot upon your return! Pity it didn’t snow at the time! We didn’t do any sight seeing with the girls in England. We left the girls with their grandparents and escaped to London for a few days to soak up the big city and catch up with good friends. Our journey home. Security check at Heathrow was interesting. We had carry slings for the girls for the airport. We chose not to take our pram with us as we had one at the grandparents. So for airport purposes we purchased 2 great slings and carried them in that around the airport. I have to say it was rather tough removing shoes and other items for security when you have a baby hanging in front of you. I wasn’t also keen on handing them to a complete stranger, but somehow my husband and I managed. The Flight back seemed less of an ordeal than getting there. We were booked on a night flight back! Much better idea. Although one downfall was it was a packed flight back to Cape Town. 4 cots and bassinets in total for the flight and there were ten babies on board. Luckily the airline was kind enough to give us a cot. So my one girl was tucked up nicely in her cot, drank her milk and went to sleep. My other girl was sleeping on her daddy’s chest. This was all nice and snugly until the time came for my husband to make a bathroom break. Once again, a lot of manoeuvring done on our part to move a baby without waking her up. The both actually slept quite well. Woke up in time to land in Cape Town. GIVEAWAYS Heir to the Throne Love from me : Cathy Nel Beautifully hand-crafted waterproof picnic blankets made with love for you by a community upliftment project. Size: 2.3m X 1.5m. Rolls up easily with a convenient carry strap. We also sell hand puppets, maracas and educational toys. Win one of these blankets worth R450. To Order, Contact: www.heirtothethrone.co.za [email protected] | 083 695 1430 SUMMER winners To stand a chance to win this great giveaway, please email [email protected] with the subject line “heir to the throne” before 23 February 2012 Loobit, coolit and Siloxit : Tammi Mckeown Facebook Comments HOW DID YOU REACT WHEN YOU FOUND OUT YOU WHERE EXPECTING MULTIPLES? Julie Hide Jumped for joy! the first time, laughed the second time and was in shock the third time :) Gabriela Palacios-Flusk I cried and cried (I was a very “unlikely mom”). Took hubby and I the first semester to get over the fact that we were having twins Janine McCallum I was shocked and a bit speechless, after two miscarriages we were really just chuffed to be pregnant. The first scan did not pick up two babies, the second one did. I still sometimes am overwhelmed by it all. Susan Heydenrych Shocked & overjoyed at the same time! And scared when I thought of the risk of multiple pregnancy. Still can not believe it though... : Samantha Ferreira Totally shocked and cried for a whole day but was so excited! I didn’t have a clue what was coming my way but they are out of hospital now and getting cuter by the day - what little blessings! :-)  13 TODDLER Merrily, merrily, merrily: Growing up with triplet brothers By Johathan Shipley “ Don was a biter.” This, from Jim and Lance recently. “In a fight he’d do anything – hair pulling, biting, you name it.” Not that my triplet brothers fought a lot as kids. They didn’t. But it’s fun to know that the biter turned out to be a minister. Don, Jim and Lance are my triplet brothers. I’ve got another brother, and a sister, too, but everyone is always intrigued by the fact that I shared a house and my formative years with a genetic aberration. Jim, now a graphic designer, says, “The best thing about being a triplet is the novelty of it... people’s reactions. The worse thing? Ditto.” “Do they look alike? If one of them gets hurt do the others feel it”? I was always asked. And if I got questioned about it constantly, there’s no telling how inundated with questions they were. Let’s break out the plusses and minuses of growing up with triplet brothers, shall we? • PLUS - If you get into a tussle at school, you can say, “I have three older brothers, so back of!” • MINUS - They were as threatening as warm kittens. Don was a buck toothed kid with a perm. Lance, a melon-headed Mensa boy. Jim, a bespeckled shrimp whose biggest claim to fame in our family was going down a very steep hill in a wagon without brakes, injuring himself badly at the bottom of said hill. • PLUS - It was easy to play doubles tennis 14 with them. • MINUS - They are very unathletic. • PLUS - I got oodles of hand-me-down clothes. • MINUS - We wore velour, corduroy, and vinyl. • PLUS - I had my own room, while they had to share a room all through high school. • MINUS - They had so much darn fun together. • PLUS - Musical quartets were a snap with me and the three. • MINUS - They’re all atrocious musicians. I remember, jarringly, the time when all three were playing instruments in their room (yes, they all shared a room, through high school). The discordant cacophony of drums (Don), violin (Lance) and flute (Jim) - with me on trombone - sounded like an injured walrus during rut. • PLUS - More family members meant more Christmas gifts for me! • MINUS - We drew names for gift-giving because there were so many of us. I don’t recall any specific gifts I received from my brothers, but one Christmas Eve night I do remember a spirited game of “Butt Tag.” • PLUS - More people with whom to play car games on long summer road trips. • MINUS - Cheaters, all of them. We’d be playing the alphabet game. I’d be winning handily, up to, say, the letter R, when they’d change the rules! • PLUS - When in trouble with Dad, I could point my finger at many. • MINUS - Dad could sniff out a liar. If not, He’d sit us on that old brown couch until one of us fessed up. • PLUS - If the trio didn’t like what they were eating, I could pick food off their plates. • MINUS - There was no food. After school, ravenously hungry, we’d scavenge for anything at all to eat in the cupboards. I’d go for the Nesquick. Lance and Don, Salty crackers. Jim, “Those silver BB things you sprinkle on frosted cupcakes.” • PLUS - Homework help from guys smarter than I • MINUS - They knew they were smarter and more talented, and let me know it. Lance, now a school counsellor, used words like “dichotomy” at around age 5. Don, the minister, was spiritually enlightened. Jim, the artist, could draw logos of major league baseball teams better than me even if blindfolded and with hands tied. • PLUS - Having loving brothers. • MINUS - Can’t think of one. Jim, Don, and Lance, my older triplet brothers. We’re all in our 30’s now but can’t help, when together, recalling our early days with Mom, Dad, our older brother and sister, living in a little rambler, eating nothing but oatmeal for breakfast and spaghetti for dinner. I won’t touch oatmeal now, and the spaghetti had better be mighty tasty if it’s going on my plate. TODDLER MY JOURNEY WITH MY TRIPLETS My name is Nora and this is my story. I n February 2009 my husband and I decided to have a baby. We thought having a third child would be nice as my daughter Bianca was 14 and my son William was 11, and we wanted a “Laat lammetjie”. At the end of February I found out I was pregnant and the joy and excitement was overwhelming. We did an ultra sound straight away just to confirm. As the weeks past I went for another ultra sound just to find out I’m expecting TRIPLETS – naturally conceived. It was such a shock and unbelievable. As the time went by I was admitted in August 2009 for bed rest. Leaving my two elder kids at home and lying in hospital was very traumatising for us. Being 38 years old and pregnant. I was asked if I would have an amnio done just to see if babies where okay. I refused, because they explained that if something was wrong they would have to abort the babies. Imagine how emotional that was for me. My due date was 21 Novemeber2009 and my Triplets were born 9 October 2009 via caesarean due to blood pressure. Monique, Chloe and Connor where born in the morning and I got to see them in the afternoon. As I went to ICU with my husband I was still in shock as I still couldn’t believe there where 3 of them. They were so tiny and beautiful. As I looked at them my body went numb as I realised that Chloe was Down syndrome. I walked over to see the other 2 and just left the ICU in a state. When I told my husband about Chloe he said no it’s only because they are so tiny – I was not convinced. Later on the Paediatrician called me to the ICU and asked me if I was familiar with Down syndrome and I said not really but that I did know what they looked like. I told her I could see that Chloe was DS and she said no Monique is DS. I was so confused. She then told me to leave as they had more tests they wanted to do. As I returned to ICU I had a rude awakening by the news that both my daughters were DS. My little boy tested negative for DS. I had a million thoughts going through my mind. It was very emotional for both my husband and I. The first thing I thought was what the people are going to say about my babies. We decided to tell our older children just before we brought the babies home. After explaining it in depth they had a lot of questions. It was difficult for all of us but as time went by it became easier. Although there were many obstacles on the way we worked through them. The girls had to go for many check-ups and hospital visits. We love them dearly and cannot imagine our lives without them. The support we got was overwhelming. We had the DS ASS and SAMBA to thank in so many ways. And the support and understanding and acceptance we received from our families is unforgettable. Then in August 2011 Chloe became very ill due to pneumonia.She was hospitalised for 2 weeks and sadly we lost her in Sept 2011. It ripped us apart. All the questions I had, I could not understand why The Lord would bless us with triplets and then take 1 away just before her 2nd birthday. We miss her so dearly and lover her so much. I still have Monique and Connor and they fill the emptiness but not a day goes by that I do not miss my baby. Soon my babies will be 3 years old and Monique is doing great. Some days when we think we cannot go on she reminds us of what we have and for that we are so great full. Having DS children is a challenge but they bring so much joy into our lives. We are blessed to have been chosen to have these special girls in our lives. I cannot imagine my life without them. Please if you have any questions or just want to talk you can contact me NORA on 0798612119. 15 TODDLER Raising twins in the Netherlands In the Netherlands we have an annual tradition called Sinterklaasfeest. This feast is based on an old tale about a very old man named ‘Sinterklaas’ (Saint Nicolas), who lives in a villa in Spain with his ‘Zwarte Pieten’ (black helpers). Every year Sinterklaas and his Zwarte Pieten visit the Netherlands for a couple of weeks, ending their stay with the celebration of Sinterklaas’ birthday on December 5. Traditionally they bring loads of presents for the children. During this time of year children put their shoe near the chimney before they go to sleep, hoping that a Zwarte Piet will climb down the chimney (that’s why they turned so black!), and leave a chocolate letter or a hand full of pepernoten (tiny cookies) next to their shoes. E very year Sinterklaas will try to treat all children equally. But as you can imagine, for twin children he finds it hard to decide whether or not he should give the children the same or different presents. He totally understands this dilemma twin parents have to deal with. How can you treat two individuals equally while they need 16 to learn to distinguish themselves from each other? Individual attention For us twin parents it can be difficult to divide our attention between our children equally. Some children simply demand more attention then others. So what can we do to make sure that we pay enough attention to each child? And also, how can we give our twin children individual attention, when they’re continuously keeping their eyes on each other? For me as a twin parent this wasn’t easy to deal with. I realized the importance of regularly giving individual attention to my children, but I found that doing so would often lead to a struggle for my attention. Whenever I tried to read to one of my girls, the other one would join us immediately. I would explain to them that they had to wait their turn, but for my twins it was almost impossible to be patient, while one of them did get my attention, and the other one didn’t. Now, as my children grow older, it gets a little easier for them to deal with these situations, though every now and again they still find it difficult. I regularly play games with them individually, and they are now starting to get used to the idea of letting TODDLER the other one get my full attention for a while. Unfortunately, during the day there is not always enough time to play games with your children individually. Also, twins tend to struggle especially at moments that you don’t have time to give them special attention. Like early in the morning when you are in a hurry to get ready to go, or at the end of the day when you need to cook. My little helper Luckily I have found a simple solution: I let my children take turns being my ‘little helper’ every once in a while. On these ‘helper days’, one of my children is allowed to help me with all sorts of things that usually cause conflict: helping out in the kitchen and choosing the best seat at the table, being the first one to get into the car and choosing where to sit, helping bake cookies, being the first one to take a bath or the last one to go to bed. I actually use every single situation that can cause conflict between my children. By giving direction to my children’s behavior I try to avoid possible conflict situations. And it seems to work out well! Having my children be my little helper every now and then, I can see their conflictuous behavior gradually decrease. Even on non helper days. I started to use helper days when my twins were at the age of 4. And I still use it sometimes now my girls are getting older. Children learn quickly that there’s no need to argue anymore. I found out that as a parent you can actually break this habit. And it’s such a relief, both for the children and yourself. As a variant on helper day, I sometimes let my children be helper for a whole week. I add some things, such as doing some special activity, like going to a museum, or preparing a nice meal together. Give it a try! This is a simple approach to dividing attention in the twin situation. You should give it a try with your twins and let me know how it turns out! If you like to learn more about raising twins, please have a look at my website www. twinsvideoblog.com. Suzanne Lagerweij is a twin sister and twin mother from the Netherlands. Mothering her 9 years old fraternal twin girls Lois and Lora and her 7 years old son Kay, she understands the challenges of twin parents completely. After her twins were born, Suzanne became particularly interested in the topic of raising twins. Since finishing her Master’s in Child Development in 2006 she has been following International Twin Studies and giving parenting support to twin parents. Suzanne organizes workshops for parents and professionals and she writes articles about raising twins for her Dutch websites. She recently finished her second book Twinspiratie. TODDLER Christmas in By Laura K. Lawless I France Joyeux Noël ! French Christmas Customs and Traditions n France, Christmas is a time for family and for generosity, marked by family reunions, gifts and candy for children, gifts for the poor, Midnight Mass, and le Réveillon. The celebration of Christmas in France varies by region. Most provinces celebrate Christmas on the 25th of December, which is a bank holiday. However, in eastern and northern France, the Christmas season begins on 6 December, la fête de Saint Nicolas, and in some provinces la fête des Rois* is one the most important holidays of the Christmas season. In Lyon, 8 December is la Fête de lumières, when Lyonnais pay hommage to the virgin Mary by putting candles in their windows to light up the city. French Christmas Traditions French children put their shoes in front of the fireplace, in the hopes that Père Noël (aka Papa Noël) will fill them with gifts. Candy, fruit, nuts, and small toys will also be hung on the tree overnight. In some regions there’s also Père Fouettard who gives out spankings to bad children (sort of the equivalent of Santa Claus giving coal to the naughty). In 1962, a law was passed decreeing that all letters written to Santa would responded to with a postcard. When a class writes a letter, each student gets a response. Le Réveillon Although fewer and fewer French attend la Messe de Minuit on Christmas Eve, it is still an important part of Christmas for many families. It is followed by a huge feast, called le Réveillon (from the verb réveiller , to wake up or to revive). Le Réveillon is a symbolic awakening to the meaning of Christ’s birth and is the culinary high point of the season, which may be enjoyed at home or in a restaurant or café that is open all night. Each region in France has its own traditional Christmas menu, with dishes like goose, chicken, capon, turkey stuffed with chestnuts, oysters, and boudin blanc (similar to white pudding). French Christmas Decorations The sapin de Noël is the main decoration in homes, streets, shops, offices, and factories. The sapin de Noël appeared in Alsace in the 14th century, decorated with apples, paper flowers, and ribbons, and was introduced in France in 1837. Another important aspect of French Christmas celebrations is the crèche filled with santons, which is displayed in churches and many homes. Living crèches in the form of plays and puppet shows based on the Nativity are commonly performed to teach the important ideas of Christianity and the Christmas celebration. Mistletoe is hung above the door during the Christmas season to bring good fortune throughout the year. After Réveillon, it’s customary to leave a candle burning in case the Virgin Mary passes by. *Epiphany is usually celebrated the 6th of January, but in some places in France it is celebrated the first Sunday after January 1st. a note from TWINS 18 By us Chrimas happened in winter and we have vacations. Sometime there is some snow and it is magical. We enjoy the time before Chrismas: it’s very fun to cook biscuits, decorate the pine tree and the home. But the best is to meet all the family and play to guess where presents are hidden ! For Chrismas Eve, we all go to the church, it’s fun because we always play a scene. Then we come back and eat. Santa’s called “Father Chrismas” come during the night to dispatch presents to gentles child (we don’t really believe in, we are 10… but we enjoy tell the story to our 5 years old little brother). Merry Chrismas you all ! Félix & Grégoire | France 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS TWINS STYLE By Craig Sanders (Dedicated to my twin boys, Brady and Colby) Twas the night before Christmas, and in our house full of grins, Not a creature was stirring, not even the twins; Side-by-side stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas would soon see the pair; Our double blessings of joy were nestled, each snug in bunk-beds, With visions of dual-controlled Gameboy sets dancing in their heads; Mom collapsed on the couch, and I fell asleep on the floor, It had been a long day, and soon the room was full of snore. Alert to all sounds, there arose such a noise, We immediately jumped to our feet, could that be the boys? No! This came from outside and we looked on the lawn, (ignoring the toys and bikes left there by our twins, Shane and Sean). Christmas Lights What should we see there, In front of our still-lit Christmas light display? An amazing sight! Eight identical reindeer, (Could they be clones?) leading a sleigh. And guiding the team, pulling the reins with a jolt, Was a grizzled, white-bearded old man (probably the dad of mults....) Obviously used to barking out orders to a crew, He whistled and shouted, calling out to his reindeer, two-by-two; “Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN! On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZEN! On to the twins’ house, it’s time to see, If they have been good little boys, both Twin A and Twin B!” And then, in a twin-inkling, we heard a noise up above, “While on our roof,” I shouted. “Do you see the twins lost gloves?” But just then down the chimney came St. Nick with a leap. (It was quite loud in the house, would the twins stay asleep?) He was decked in red and white, adorned all in fur, And with a full grin, a father of twins to be sure!; On his back was a bag, it was filled to the brim with toys, Could those be gifts for our boys? Santa with girl His eyes -- how they twin-kled! they had such appeal, And by the looks of his belly, he didn’t miss too many meals. His face was broad with cheeks that reminded us of bubbles, With wide dimples that were second only to our double troubles; He silently dodged the strewn toys and went straight to his work, Filling both boys stockings; then turned with a jerk, And with a wink and a jolly, old nod, He exclaimed, “off to the Hartsfield’s home, they have quads!” Our twins would be so full of glee, Despite missing the sight near the tree. But hopefully they heard St. Nick’s farewell as he sailed off in flight, “MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!” PHOTO PAGE Jaime and Chloe Hall WINNER Big Sister Jessica Rose, twins Kaylee Jane and Andrew John Ben Daniel and Karla Visser Emily Faith and Abre Jacques Nel Cameron and Kyle Israel Send us your multiple photos and stand a chance to win a R1 500 gift card from Babies R Us at Toys R Us closing date: 27 February 2013 page proudly sponsored by 20 AT TOYS*R*US PRESCHOOL 10 tips for writing a Christmas letter everyone loves I have vivid memories of my mother’s groaning when Christmas letters began to flood our mailbox. She found them pretentious, impersonal, and, mainly, boring. For many years, I resisted writing a family Christmas letter. I didn’t want to ruin someone’s holiday by forcing a friend to trudge through the mundane events of my life. I had a horror of bragging about my family’s accomplishments. Still, far-off loved ones deserved to know what had been going on, particularly after I gave birth to twins. Friends loved our family and cared what was happening in our lives. Could I strike a pleasant balance? Could my letter be entertaining and heartfelt, yet humble? The answer is yes. My first Bernard Family Christmas Letter, recounting our unique story, got rave reviews from all recipients. You’ve got a story to tell, too, and you can produce a letter that will serve as a keepsake for years to come. Here’s how: Show, Dont Tell Your high school English teacher’s rules apply. Lists of what happened are plain boring. Instead of “I’m busy all day long. I stay at home with my twins and have a home-based business” try something on the order of “I get up at 5am, do four loads of laundry every day, change two diapers every two hours, and log ten hours each week selling handmade jewellery on eBay.” In other words, write specifics, using colourful and descriptive phrases and concrete verbs. Ask yourself, if someone were to spend a typical day with you, what would he or she see? What strikes you as funny or unusual about your life? What are you doing that no one else is doing? How has your life changed now that you are parenting multiples? Mother’s Day Out, which would make a humorous tale that illustrates your child’s stubbornness and Mom and Dad’s frustrations. Omit The Bragging Lists of accomplishments are off-putting. Consider that your children are probably doing the same types of things other children their age are doing – making the honour roll, earning badges in scouting, and getting a Sunday school perfect attendance award. Reserve bragging rights for really special life events; say, acceptance to a soccer League school or receiving Gauteng full colours for a sport. Self-deprecation can be really funny and usually resonates more. Get Personal Use personal pronouns such as I, me, my and we. Write the letter from your own prospective, not your family’s. Your friends will know you actually sat down and wrote a letter. One friend told me, “I love going to the postbox at Christmas.” Make copies, but sign each letter and scribble a personal note if you can. Proofread And Edit Run your computer’s spell-checker and grammarchecker tools. Ask your spouse, kids, or a friend to read your letter and flag any mistakes or garbles. Read it aloud to make sure it conveys your intended tone and message. Sleep on it. Include Pictures Print It If one picture is worth a thousand words, then a picture of twins must be worth two thousand! Find interesting pictures that capture your kids’ personalities or unique family situations. I included a picture of myself enormously pregnant as we left to deliver at the hospital. So many people on my list never saw me pregnant. Maybe you’ll include a picture of your daughter with marker ink all over her face or your son unpotting a favourite houseplant. It’s okay to include an adorable picture of your little ones looking cherubic in holiday clothes, too, because everyone loves those (if, of course, you can get the shot with two or more wiggly children, which is the topic of another article entirely). Keep your printing understated. Choose paper with a simple border or small holiday icon. Choose a font that’s easy to read. (Something close to what you see on this page is easiest for the human eye to follow.) Save scrolls and swirls for large headlines. Use a dark ink colour – black or blue. Reading your letter should be easy. Your story should be your letter’s focus, not the snowflake background. Be Conversational Write anecdotally in a folksy, warm tone, as if you were telling your best friend about your year. Think of funny things your kids have said and include them as direct quotations. Keep a journal of cute things your kids do or say. A friend records cute kid-sayings on a piece of paper hanging on her fridge. She then stores them all in a notebook. Skip The Ordinary Avoid Gimmicks Leave out things everyone else is probably doing, too. Most children who attend Mother’s Day Out programs enjoy going. If your child were a Mother’s Day dropout, or worse, to be kicked out, that’s an extraordinary story worth telling. I once heard of a child who refused to nap and was asked to leave Unless you’re a clever, comedic writer, stick with a traditional letter format. Gimmicky Christmas letter can be as hard to decipher as haiku or cutesy newspaper headlines. They often come across as confusing and silly. Don’t frustrate your reader or cause friends to think you’re really moronic. Keep It Save your letter for your scrapbook. Busyness causes us to forget each year’s highlights. Too soon the days blur together in our memories. Writing a Christmas letter once a year may be your best (and only) opportunity to record the uniqueness of your life with twins. Take advantage of the occasion. My foray into Christmas letter-writing was daunting, but I received a flood of compliments on my first attempt. My aunt said the letter made her laugh and cry. My neighbour said I should write a book. My friend said she was telling everyone my daughter’s cute quotation. And my mother – the Christmas-letter hater – read it over and over and shared it with all her friends. I am a devoted Christmas-letter writer. I’ll never go back to signing our family’s name on a storebought card again. Mary Parker Barnard is married to Chris and is the mother of Susanna, 3, and twins Seth and Spencer, 1. She is a freelance writer and editor 21 22 Lets CELEBRATE! Let’s Celebrate is an elegant, coffee -table book designed to inspire those with a love for stylish entertaining and an equal appreciation of delicious food. This book offers a variety of sixteen, spectacular functions: from a child’s first birthday party to a genteel high tea. Every one of us will find a celebration in this book to marvel at. Each chapter contains photographs of all the relevant décor and food, as well as detailed explanations, and easy to follow recipes and tips. In conjunction with our Let’s Celebrate book, we offer a range of exciting and upmarket products you can give as presents or use to create your own unforgettable event – whatever it is you are celebrating. For more infomation on Let’s Celebrate call Debbie on 0832641137 or email [email protected] 23 Photos by Nerine Photography 24 PRESCHOOL Easy Christmas Crafts Gumdrop Pops Cookie-Cutter Ornaments These cookie-cutter ornaments make great, sentimental gifts; luckily they’re faster to make than cookies are to bake. Use inexpensive aluminum cutters and choose patterned papers or pictures photocopied onto card stock. Trace cutter on top; cut out. Dab white craft glue along cutter’s edge. Press paper in place; let dry. Thread narrow ribbon through needle; poke between paper and cutter, and wrap ribbon around top of cutter. Slip a bead over ribbon’s ends; knot. Stack gumdrops, dot them with sprinkles and other candies in creative ways, and watch the colorful confections come to life as snowmen, Santas, and other icons of the season. Wrap the candy pops in cellophane bags, and then attach them to gifts or slip them into stockings. Or create a holiday display: Partially fill a large glass jar with sanding sugar, and stand the figurines on flower frogs in the sparkling “snow.” Slide gumdrops onto candy sticks to create body of each pop. (Use leaf-shaped gumdrops for holly pop.) For Santa Use top half of 1 small gumdrop for hat. Trim 2 oblong candies for arms. Use candy-coated seeds for buttons and pompom. Poke candy where facial features will go with a skewer; use sticky tip to pick up and place nonpareils for eyes and nose. For Tree Use 1 flattened gumdrop for base of tree. Use 1 small gumdrop for trunk. Cut sides from 1 gumdrop; press sides around top of stick, for treetop. Flatten 1 gumdrop; using an aspic cutter, cut out star. Insert sprinkles for lights. Snow Globes The shimmering magic of snowfall is always transfixing, whether it’s outside your window or inside this classic toy. Homemade globes let you create a wintry scene straight out of your own imagination. Almost any jar works for this project: Baby-food, pimiento, and olive jars are good choices. Look for plastic or ceramic figurines (metal ones are prone to rust) at flea markets and hobby or model-railroad shops. Synthetic evergreen tips are available at many floralsupply stores. If the jar lids are not in seasonal colors already, paint them with oil-based enamel paint. Sand the inside of the lid until the surface is rough. With clear-drying epoxy, adhere the figurine to the inside of the lid, and let the epoxy dry. Fill the jar almost to the top with distilled water; add a pinch of glitter and a dash of glycerin to keep the glitter from falling too quickly. Don’t add too much, or the glitter will stick to the bottom of the jar when it’s flipped. Screw on the lid tightly, being careful not to dislodge the figurine. Turn the jar over and back again -- and let it snow. Check out http://www.marthastewart.com for more great ideas 25 PRESCHOOL How to TEACH your TWINS to speak clearly Your twins’ speech and language skills will have a significant impact on their overall educational experience. Children who are good listeners and speakers often become strong readers and writers. I t’s well documented that twins often learn to speak later, and develop more speech and language difficulties, than single-born children. But just because your children are twins doesn’t mean they’re doomed to have difficulties. It does mean parents of twins should keep a close eye out for speech problems in their children, and act quickly if something seems “not quite right.” Parents of twins sometimes tend to use shorter and more direct phrases when talking to their children, and have slightly less time for “real “verbal exchanges with each child individually. Also, since there is more competition between twins for mom’s and dad’s attention, twins tend to speak more quickly in order to get all the information out at once. As a result, their faster speech is sometimes not as clear and can be difficult to understand. Here’s the good news: Speech and language development isn’t something you need to set aside large blocks to time for in your busy schedule. You can take advantage of the hundreds of opportunities that exist each day to stimulate your children’s skills as you go about you daily life activities. number of words. Talk to them about what you are seeing, doing, feeling, and touching as you cook dinner, vacuum the carpet , set the table, or sort and fold the laundry. Describe your actions as you make the bed, bake cookies, or simply pour drinks for lunch. To your young twins, the whole world is new and even the most routine activities are an exciting learning experience. Speak clearly and slowly to your twins about what is happening around you. By doing so, you make it easier for them to learn how to say individual sounds and words. Use short phrases and sentences, so your children can grasp the rules of grammar easily. However, don’t abandon complex sentences containing words like” because” and “which” learn to express these words earlier than children whose parents seldom use them. Altering the way you speak to your children can make a large difference in their vocabulary development. Instead of saying, “I will cut the sandwich for you,” try saying, “I will cut the sandwich in half for you.”Instead of, “We will be there soon,” try saying,” We will be there in two hours.” Talk, talk, talk If you silently plan your day while driving the car, try this instead: Say each child’s name in turn or say an attention-getting word such as “Look!” and name an object. Talk about the variety of sights and sounds you see and hear as you drive.”Look at the blue house. “or “Listen to the siren.” Ask your pre-school twins to locate and name things that are red, round or square. Find numbers or letters on signs and bill boards. Recite nursery rhymes, count out loud, or sing a favourite song together. Talk to your children about an upcoming or favourite family event. Instead of preparing dinner silently, try out Dolly’s method when her twins Ryan and Andrew (now 11) were little:”When my children were very young, I would put them in their high chairs, roll them close to the counter so they could see my actions, and I’d talk and sing to them as I prepared dinner.” Your twins will learn about the logical order of events when you tell them about what you will do first and what you will do after that.”First, I One of the best ways to help your children learn to talk is to speak to them, a lot. The more words a child hears from birth, the more quickly they learn to talk, and the greater their vocabulary and their IQ. Daily exposure to words helps strengthen and shape brain pathways that foster thinking and learning. A researcher from Chicago found that 2-year-old children of talkative mothers said twice as many words as the children of mothers who silently cared for their children. Only “live language,” not television, helps children develop their language skills. Experts believe this is because children need to hear language in relation to what happens around them-in other words, they need “context” for language to mean anything-or is it little more than noise. Words must be delivered by an engaged human being to have any meaning and to be interesting to a child, and the child must focus on the speaker and the environment. Expose your twins to a large variety and 26 Using daily routines to learn will put the butter in the bowl; I’ll stir the batter.” Explaining what you are doing helps build your child’s knowledge of action words.”I am opening the oven door”. Tell your twins “how many” and “how much” of everything you’re using. That way they’ll learn about quantity.”Two eggs” go into the mix, or” One box of raisins.”Read a recipe aloud and let your toddler twins’ help you follow the directions. When bathing and dressing your twins, talk about body parts, kinds of clothes, and where they go:”Shoes go on your feet, after your socks.”Talk about how clothing feels:”Such a soft sweater” or “rough jeans.” Give simple directions to help your children learn about spatial concepts.”Tilt your head back. “or “Put your head through the neck hole of your new sweater.” Be a good model To a twin, language is a way to bring closeness and intimacy with each other, and is very rewarding. Even before twins are able to say real-sounding words, they communicate making sounds that have a special meaning to their sibling. “When my twins were younger, I loved to listen to their private conversations of grunts and sounds as they hulled themselves to sleep with the sound of each other’s voices.”(Kristen, mother of Zach and Sean, 2) In some cases, when twins begin to use real words, they talk together using words and sentences that only the two of them can understand. Recent research has shown this twin language, known as idioglossia, is not a private invented language at all, as experts previously thought, but a persistent use of immature or incorrect speech patterns. Most children, whether twins or not, create some words of their own, or use incorrect vocabulary, grammar and syntax when they are learning to talk. Since twins usually spend a lot of time together and have a strong desire to communicate with each other, they listen to each other saying words incorrectly and copy each other’s poor syntax and mispronunciations. These troublesome words grow more distorted PRESCHOOL and, as a result, only the twins can understand them. Twin language is not a cause of language delay, but is most often seen in twins with immature or delayed language.”Twin speak” may indicate they’ll have a difficult time learning to talk. A British study showed that about half of all twins with speech and language difficulties use twin language. Only 11% of twins who develop language on schedule use twin language. If your twins use “twin language” with each other watch closely to see they are also developing communication skills necessary to communicate effectively with others. Your twins should learn and express new words at least ever few weeks, and should use these words to communicate with others. Some parents think their twins’ mispronunciation of words is cute and, will repeat incorrect pronunciations or grammatical errors. Instead, give your child many opportunities to hear words pronounced correctly. If your child says a word incorrectly, don’t ask her to “say it again” .Instead, say the correct pronunciation, emphasizing the word or sound with which she had difficulty. For example, if your child says, “Me do to pool,” try saying, “I do-go to the pool.”Emphasize the “I” by saying it louder and emphasize the “g” sound in “go” by stretching it. Encouraging twins to talk Being a busy parent of twins often means being able to translate your child’s attempts to communicate without words. Your young child walks to the refrigerator. You say,” Oh, do you want some milk?” You pour the milk and say, “Here is you milk, honey.”Your young child has his needs met and hasn’t uttered a single word. When you always respond to head nods, grunts, or gestures, you deny your children the practice they need to learn to say words and sentences. If your children don’t ask questions or express themselves in complete sentences, help them by expanding words or short phrases into full sentences. Repeat what your child says and add one or two words. Don’t change your child’s meaning, but instead, make her remarks slightly longer. For example: Child:”Hat” Adult:”Yes, blue hat.” Asking your children questions is a great way to develop their ability to learn, think and explain, while practicing talking. Ask questions to each child individually. Try to ask questions 8 Ways to help Your Twins Speak Clearly • Be a good model. • Tune in and follow their lead. • Read and recite nursery rhymes to your twins daily. • Gain your child’s attention before you begin to speak. • Be a good listener-give each child time to finish talking • Have fun with nursery rhymes and songs. • Comment on sounds around you:”Hear the airplane overhead?” • Create learning opportunities-make conversation part of everything you do together. 5 Essential language learning methods • Naming-Teach word labels (nouns). • Describing-Teach qualities of objects and events, such as colours, sizes, sound (adjectives and adverbs). • Explaining-Teach about time, logical order, action words, and things that go together (concepts, sequences, verbs, pairs). • Direction –giving-Teach about spatial concepts. • Comparing-Talk about how objects, events, and people are the same or different. that require more than a one-word answer or a yes-no response. Instead of asking, “Did you have fun in school today?”try, “What did you do in art class today?”Before you begin to speak, say his or her name, or use another attention getter, such as a tap on the shoulder. Make eye contact. When your child responds, praise him or her individually. Speech and language development Twins acquire language just as single-born children do; however sometimes they develop it at a somewhat slower pace. Researchers in Australia and the United States found that 3- to 5- year old twins are typically about six months behind single-born children in their language skills. This may be due to the higher rate of prematurity among twins, or it may be related to twins’ ability to communicate so effectively with each other non-verbally. The good news is that by age five, most twins are developing language normally and differ very little from their single-born peers in use of language. Dorothy P.Dougherty, MA, CCC-SLP, has worked with children and adults in school, private and clinical settings for more than 28 years. She is author of “Teach Me How to Say it Right: Helping Your Child with Articulation Problems” and “How to Talk to Your Baby.”For more information go to www.1speechproblems.com. PRESCHOOL MULTIPLES in school As we get ready with planning a new school year ahead of us, parents with multiples are faced with the dilemma of do I separate or keep my multiples together in the same classroom. It was Multiple Birth Awareness week from the 4 – 11 November 2012 for ICOMBO and the theme this year was “School placement of multiples, and issues regarding whether separation or not is best.” T he arrival of twins, triplets or more brings many challenges for both the parents and the children themselves. One of the challenges faced by parents of multiples is to foster the unique bond between the children that began in utero, while at the same time encouraging each child’s unique development. ICOMBO believes strongly that decisions about classroom placement of multiples should be made annually, on a case-by-case basis, in consultation with the parents and if age appropriate, the children concerned. Just as each child is unique, each set of multiples is unique. Some multiples thrive in separate classes; others thrive in the same class. Similarly, what works for a given set of multiples one year might not work the next year. Therefore, we believe that blanket policies on this issue – either for separate or same-class placement – are inappropriate. Educators play an important role in encouraging and facilitating individuality and togetherness among multiples. To assist you, we have provided some background information on this topic, and some additional resources that you may wish to consult. Reasons for Separation: While there is no substantial evidence to support the policy of separation in order for each child to grow and develop as individuals, sometimes circumstances exist which would indicate that separation is advisable. It is helpful to recognise that some behaviours may be an issue one year and not the next. • • • • • • • • 28 Constant ‘togetherness’ is hindering the development of social skills in one, both or more of the multiples; A ‘division of labour’ exists; Insensitive comparisons by teachers, peers or even each other have led to feelings of inadequacy in one or more of the multiples; The multiples form a ‘power unit’ which is causing disruptive behaviour; The children use their multipleship to exploit, cheat or play tricks; One or more of the multiples appears to resent the lack of privacy resulting from sharing a classroom; One multiple proves to be a constant distraction to the other/s; In opposite-sex multiples, the female is overprotective or ‘mothering’ the male PRESCHOOL Reasons to Keep Together: Sometimes there are valid reasons for keeping multiples together: • Major emotional upheavals may have occurred with the family, e.g. divorce, moving house, death, etc; • Only one classroom is available; • Unequal education will be experienced due to two different teachers employing different methods of teaching; • Multiples are at or near the same skill level in a skill-based classroom; • The multiples do NOT want to be separated. Forced separation, with all of the other ‘firsts’ children face, especially in their first year of school, can add undue stress, cause regression and affect self-esteem. • • co-multiple; In skill-grouped classrooms where the abilities of one of the multiples are far above those of the co-multiple/s; and The multiples WANT to separate. Recommendations Regarding Classroom Placement: ICOMBO recommends that classroom placement for each set of multiples be evaluated each school year in order to ascertain which is the best situation for them, i.e. together or separated. The final decision of having the children together or separated should be made jointly by the parents, the teacher(s), the principal, and at some stages, the children themselves. The information in this letter was originally produced by Lynda P. Haddon for Multiple Births Canada (MBC). It has been reviewed by Pat Preedy Ph.D., M.Ed., B.Ed. (UK), John Mascazine Ph.D. (US) and Donna Launslager, MBC Health & Education Committee Member WEBSITES www.twinsandmultiples.org http://www.drnancysegaltwins.org/ BOOKS Emotionally Healthy Twins: A New Philosophy for Parenting Two Unique Children, Joan Friedman Multiples in School, Australian Multiple Birth Association, 2010. Available through www.amba.org.au Parenting School-age Twins and Multiples, Christine Baglivi Tinglof, 2007 Twin and Triplet Psychology: A Professional Guide to Working with Multiples, Audrey Sandbank, 1999 Understanding Multiple Birth Children and How They Learn, John Mascazine Tips for Teachers of Multiples: • Separation in the first year of school should not be an automatic decision. The added stress may actually reinforce their need to be together; • Allow multiples as much independence as they are ready to handle. They flourish when allowed to separate on their own timetable; • Encourage them to choose separate classes as they gain confidence in the school situation; • Encourage multiples to sit apart for different class activities. This assists you in identifying who’s who and discourages them from completing each other’s work; • Look for differences in the multiples, not sameness, e.g. voice differences, left/ right handed, birthmarks, hair growth. Being able to address each multiple by his or her individual name assists them in recognising that they are individuals; • Some parents dress their children alike. If this is a difficulty in your classroom, ask that the children be dressed differently for easier identification both for yourself and their peers; • Refer to each child by his or her own name. This helps you identify each child and sets a good example for their peers to address them individually as well; • Expect differences in test scores, neatness and behaviour but don’t be surprised if they are very similar; • For parent/teacher interviews, compare each child to their peer group and not to each other; • Make different interview times for each child rather than having one interview time to talk about all the multiples at once. One mother of quadruplets noted it was assumed by the teacher that they would be discussing all four children at one interview • If one multiple (especially monozygotic [identical] multiples) is markedly behind the co-multiple, investigate the cause; * Check to make sure that each multiple is doing their own work; * Plan a meeting with the parents to explore the situation; * Don’t rule out the possibility of a learning disability in one of the multiples. 29 buZy mommyZ We chat to Jean Reah mom to James, Alex & Caitlyn My secret little indulgence A packet of Whispers for those chocolate emergencies. What one thing do you wish you knew more about when you where pregnant? What might bring on early labour! I went shopping with our adopted daughter Amanda on her 18th birthday and the Gynie said that the walking had probably brought on labour. They were born later that day at 34.5 weeks. Still, it’s pretty cool having all 3 with the same birthday. My children’s favourite toys A magnetic set of sticks and balls and building blocks or lego. Keeps them busy for hours. My favourite restaurant is The Cattle Baron. What book are reading at the moment? Boundaries with kids by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend What can be found in your handbag? Sweets for my little girl to find during church on Sundays, wet wipes and an emergency change of clothes for my youngest, a 2 yr old. On a good day my purse might even be there. Why did you start your business? I wanted to do something flexitime from home while my children were still small. It’s difficult to find part-time work, so I started my own business. There were also products that we couldn’t find easily, so I decided to source them or even make them for my business and then make them available to other Moms. What is your favourite pastime? Relaxing in front of the tv watching my favorite show, Grey’s Anatomy Your favourite website? Facebook Your favourite blogger? None The funniest thing your twins have said? After watching the movie Annie, the kids were in awe of the Indian man-servant of Daddy Warbucks. 4yr old Alex said “I be changing my name to be Punjab”. A few months ago, my other 4 yr old son James noticed the school logo on my husband Clint’s shirt. He asked what it was and Clint explained that it was the school badge and how one day they would move up from the pre-school, to the primary school and finally the high school where hubby teaches. James considered this for a minute and then said,”No, that’s not going to work Dad, I don’t know how to teach big kids”. What piece of advice do you have for parents of multiples? Cook bulk and keep ready made meals in the freezer for when the babies come home from hospital as well as those hectic days when you can’t face cooking. If others offer you help, say “Yes”. Also, cut yourself some slack. Having multiples is demanding, just do the best you can and let the rest be. Favourite make up brand? Olay Favourite food? Lasagne What do you do for some “ me time”? Scrap-booking Favourite holiday place Kruger Park Twins favourite TV show Little Einsteins When did you start your business? 2010 When my twins were 2.5yrs and my daughter 6 mths old. What is it called? Heir to the Throne What is your website address? www.heirtothethrone.co.za 30 Photo by Ester Helms Where are you located? I run my shop from my home in Randpark Ridge, Randburg BUCKLE ME UP REPORT unbuckled kids in moving vehicles call 0861 400 800 only in numbers will we be heard. I am going to make a noise. 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