The Vortex #17 - USS Blackheart

THE OFFICIAL MAGAZINE
OF THE STORMBRINGER
ISSUE 17
USS STORMBRINGER, NCC-74213
The Casual Cyberspace Correspondence Chapter of
STARFLEET: The International Star Trek Fan Association
SECTION 31: COVERT OPERATIONS COMMAND
STARFLEET CHAPTER OF THE YEAR 2000
SPECIAL ANTI TERRORISM
I
S
S
U
E
I S S U E
1 7 N E W S
ARE YOU TWISTED? ABNORMAL?
KNOCK, KNOCK...
Number 17
winter 2001
The Vortex is the official magazine of the
Correspondence Chapter USS Stormbringer. The
opinions expressed herein are our just ours and not
those of anyone too important nor any other entity
or organization. If you are offended by any materials
contained herein, please let us know... We like to hear
when we do something right.
The Vortex is a copyrighted publication. Any materials
contained herein may be copied for personal or
professional use upon written consent from the
National Football League or the editor.
Subscriptions to the Vortex can be obtained only by
joining the Stormbringer as a Starfleet member. Due
to the high cost of printing this magazine, we can
only offer full color issues to our members. Online
issues are available to the general populace whenever
we feel like uploading it to the web.
Deadlines for submission are sometime during each
even numbered month. Submissions should be sent to
the subscription and membership address or emailed
to: [email protected].
Membership is free to all members of Starfleet who
request the Stormbringer as their official primary vessel
assignment and submit their assignment cards to the
Stormbringer. All other types of memberships are
forbidden due to a membership cap imposed by the
wisdom of the command staff who are experienced
and intelligent enough not to let us get too big for our
britches.
The Stormbringer is a Correspondence Chapter of
Starfleet: The International Star Trek Fan Association,
Inc.
Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek:
Deep Space Nine, and Star Trek: Voyager are registered
trademarks of Paramount Pictures Inc., A division of
Viacom.
No intention to infringe upon these and other
trademarks is intended nor should be implied. If you
imply infringement, you are advised to schedule a
CAT scan to properly diagnose the tumor you
obviously have.
C
MMII JOHNATHAN SIMMONS
VORTEX GRAFIX INX.
02
The USS STORMBRINGER
is currently looking for you... either call Miss Cleo or
email the CO or XO for more details...
MEMBERSHIP & SUBMISSION INFO
[email protected]
W E B S I T E S
SHIP’S HOME PAGE
WWW.GEOCITIES.COM/SFI_STORMBRINGER
MESSAGEBOARD
UNDER RECONSTRUCTION
STARFLEET
WWW.SFI.ORG
DEADLINE FOR NEXT ISSUE IS CLASSIFIED
C O M M A N D
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S T A F F
Commanding Officer
Vice Admiral Johnathan Simmons
[email protected]
Executive Officer
Commodore Dave Pitts
[email protected]
Second Officer
Captain Rayford A. Milligan
[email protected]
Chief Medical Officer
Fleet Captain Ken Dysinger
[email protected]
Chief Science Officer
Commander Damon Schoonover
[email protected]
Chief Operations Officer
Fleet Captain Biff Bassett
[email protected]
Chief Engineering Officer
Lieutenant Commander Karen Pitts
[email protected]
Webmaster
Lieutenant Commander JP Balzan
[email protected]
ALL OUR AWARDS ARE DEDICATED
IN HONOR OF FALLEN COMRADES...
98 99 00 01
ROBERT JOHN “BOB” GALVAN 1970-2000
Chief Security Officer
Commander Jonathon Smith
[email protected]
1999 SFI SHUTTLE OF THE YEAR
1998 R4 SHUTTLE OF THE YEAR
2000 R4 CHAPTER OF THE YEAR
2001 FUN WEBSITE OF THE YEAR
2001 SFI CHAPTER OF THE YEAR
98 99 00 R4 NEWSLETTER OF THE YEAR
1999 2000 SFI BEST ELECTRONIC NEWSLETTER
S
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[email protected]
THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM
VICE ADMIRAL JOHNATHAN SIMMONS
COMMANDING OFFICER
e
Vic
ADMIRAL
STUFF
Upcoming Away Missions
Admiral’s Log:
Stardate 11012.15
Ark Royal Anniversary Party
R17 SuperBowl of Chili
Region 17 Summit 2002
2002 Starfleet International Conference
Greetings My Most Bad Ass Crew...
This is my first Vortex column as your CO so please bear with
me if I’m a little rusty. Let’s go ahead and jump right into it...
As you know by now Commodore Dave Pitts and I switched
positions last summer. Since I reside in the Denver, Colorado
area the chapter has been transferred to Region 17 per Starfleet
Correspondence Chapter regulations. We are on course
and strong with 27 SFI members.
If you have an idea for an away mission, please let me know
ASAP. We will also have photos of these and other
Stormbringer happenings online soon.
Stormbringer 3rd Anniversary
The past 3 years have been just plain fantastic! I have loved
serving you as your XO and now hope I can fill the BIG
shoes left by the UberDAVE! I want you to know that I am
always here for you and that you can holler at me anytime.
In short, all is well.
The madness is increasing as never before. We now have 5
members that live together in the “Storm Cellar” here in Denver: Biff Bassett, Dennis Gray, Damon Schoonover, Jonathan
Smith and myself. This has made it possible for our chapter
to start sponsoring events here on a local and regional level.
This is new territory for us, and I am pleased to report that
we have upheld our chapters fine name and reputation by
partying with many fine folks around these here R17 parts.
Now I know that there is no way that we can all physically
show up to things here in Colorado. But in no way are we
limited to just this area. We are spread out pretty thin for 27
folks, yet we are as close as our computers. I ask that all of
you try to participate in IRC Chats (www.fleetchat.org) and
our mailing lists ([email protected]). If we communicate, we can share our ideas and thoughts about how
your STARFLEET Chapter should operate. If you don’t know
my email address by now, I will shoot you myself! :-)
Away Missions since IC 2001
USS Anasazi Commissioning Ceremony
StarCon 2001
DinkyCon 2
USS Ark Royal Thanksgiving Feast
Mile-Hi Con
House Veska Christmas Celebration
We have many more plans. If you attend a Con or throw a
party for some fellow fleeters, WRITE IT UP AND SEND IT
IN! We want to know what you are up to.
Attention All Hands!
A big Hearty congratulations to the one and only Dave
“HecH BaH” Pitts for winning Region 4 Member of the Year
at this past SFI Western Conference (aka DinkyCon 2). DaveSan... it is an honor to serve with you, my friend.
ISSUE
17
Welcome to Issue
17 of the madness
we call The Vortex!
We hope your stay
will be a pleasant
one.
This issue, we get
into AntiTerrorism, The
Year in Review
with all kinds of
photos and
reports of what
has been
happening in the
wonderful W I D E
world of the
Storm, and then
there is the usual
goofiness and
humor that y’all
have come to
expect from our
misguided crew.
Top that off with a
trip to our FleetFamous Salad Bar
and you have a
winning
combination!
The September 11th attacks have reminded me this holiday
season of what is truly important. And that includes you...
my friends... my crew... my extended family. As for my opinions of the attack and the war on terrorism... well... just look
at this issue and you’ll understand.
This holiday season... I implore you to find an old friend,
feed a hungry person, donate a toy for a tot, sing to your
neighbors and be careful on the roads. Remember that time
is short and we are able to touch the lives of others in amazingly simple ways. A kind word... a smile... the possibilities
are endless.
So until next time,
“Helm... Set course for
FUN!”
“Ladies and Gentlemen,
this is your Captain speaking... We will now be going
to warp speed.”
Admiral Gumby
So venture
through the pages
and enjoy the
uniqueness that is
The Vortex!
This magazine is
not intended to
serve any real
purpose other
than to blow an
hour of your
time...
but then again...
you knew that
before you read
this.
Submissions are
accepted in just
about any format.
Issue 18 deadline
is January 30th,
2002
Send submissions
to:
[email protected]
That is all.
03
THE AYE OF THE STORM
COMMODORE DAVE PITTS
EXECUTIVE OFFICER
OUR IDEA OF A JET SKI
STORMBRINGER
AWARDS
FOR 2001
The 2001 Awards cycle for
the USS Stormbringer is
about to draw to a close.
Therefore it is now time to
submit your nominations to
the captain.
You can nominate and
member you wish... for any
reason you wish.
Don’t be afeered none, R17 has it’s own
share of loonies. I expect the mayhem
and MAXIMUM FUN ALLOWED BY
LAW will continue.
So, Without further ado,
The UberDAVE enjoys his vacation after
retiring as Stormbringer Commanding Officer.
Officer of the Year
Cadet of the Year
Admiral’s Commendation
Legion of the Storm
You may nominate
members for more than one
award category.
Please try to keep your
nominations to 750 words
or less so that we can
forward them to the
Regional Awards Officer.
So get off yer duff and write
up something nice about
someone and send it off to
da boss!
Send your nominations to:
[email protected]
Deadline is December 31st,
2001.
Commodore Dave
XO Type Dude
04
“Gumby, the Center Seat is yours
bud, here’s the keys.”
Until next time, this is...
Heya, Howdy, Hey,
Categories are:
Member of the Year
being a cool RC and fostering a climate
of fun that allowed STORMBRINGER
to prosper in the first place. This being
in a region that had it’s own strife to
deal with in the not too distant past.
“Ed, you’re doing an excellent job of
healing thos wounds, keep it up Doc!”
We moved, ship dat is, to Denver, CO.
Why, Because a Correy Ship (dat’s us
mate) is chartered where the CO lives.
Since CO Gumby has moved to Denver
we, the ship, are now berthed in Denver,
CO, Region 17.
ATTENTION ALL
HANDS...
Awards will be announced in
the next issue of the
Vortex, or failing that will
be posted on the website
and announced on the
Storm List.
[email protected]
Well, welcome to current and maybe
last for a while issue of the VORTEX.
”What’s dat you say?” Basically
VORTEX-meister is gettin tired of
scratching for submissions. SO, if you
want the VORTEX to continue... please
write and TELL HIM or better yet write
yer damn column before I morphs on
ya’s. Remember, I don’t dig full moons!
Seriously, if we have reached a point
where The VORTEX is a chore and not
a fun thing, maybe we should move
on. The 20 to 30 hours devoted to the
production can be better used some
place else...
Drum roll please...
I ain’t CO no mo!
Why? nothing personal but it was
agreed back in the distant past of the
ship (ie shuttle Stormbringer) that I’d
CO the chapter until such time as
Johnathan Simmons could take over.
Well, that time came and went, no
biggie, and we did good. People were
promoted, awards were garnered,
friendships were cemented, enemies
irked, enemies became friends... pretty
cool huh? Not bad for a chapter that
had to fight from the starting bell to get
formed and find a mothership.
Commodore Dave Pitts
aka Hech baH Sutai-Veska
Executive Officer
BIG THANK YE KINDLY MATE to
Charlie
Werner
CO
USS
PEACEKEEPER at the time for taking a
chance
and
being
our
Mommie...Awwww <G> Big THANK
YE KINDLY MATE to Ed Nowlin for
PS: YA’LL IS THE GREATEST!! Didn’t
think I’d forget my Stormtroopers did
ya? Yeah, I know, copywrite
infringement, sue me! I’m small
potatoes, HELL, I’m not even that, I’m
just a tater tot, eh wot?
[email protected]
RIDERS ON THE STORM
CAPTAIN RAYFORD A. *TONY* MILLIGAN
SECOND OFFICER
“ASSAULT ON AMERICA”
by
Captain Rayford A. (Tony) Milligan
think that person(s) are of the nationality of the people who
sponsored the attacks. I urge restraint and common sense.
Again, all my greatest sympathy and best wishes go out to
anyone who lost a loved one or dear friend in this tragic
event.
I urge others to help out anyway they can, by either donating
blood or donating money to the RED CROSS and other related
services.
“WE WILL OVERCOME ALL OF THIS!”
I woke up to the terrible news, on Tuesday September 11th of
2001. At first I was somewhat shocked, but not really
surprised that this happened. I feel very much for the people
who lost loved ones and friends in this disaster. As I sat
there watching the news, I could feel my emotions stir. The
tragedy was displayed all over the news repeatedly. It is
very good that the citizens of the United States are pulling
together and sending a message to the world, that we will
always be “United” in the face of tragedy, no matter what
our disagreements with our own people are. I have seen
reports that people across the country are willing to help as
best they can, by either with monetary support or blood
donations.
I am usually not easily moved, emotionally. But, the scenes
of the Coldstream Guards played “THE STAR SPANGLED
BANNER”, at the request of the Queen of England, at the
Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace. The reports
that Germany shut down it’s factories temporarily for respect
to the tragedy. Russia, our former enemy, shut down their
television stations for a moment of silence. These were
among the few I saw on television and they really moved me.
Even the professional wrestlers on UPN’s Thursday
Smackdown were very upset by the attacks and some offered
condolences to the victims and the families of the victims.
Some of the comments even got bleeped. All of these events
have stirred my emotions and brought tears to my eyes. It’s
great to see that “MOST” of the world is behind the United
States, in condemning these attacks.
But, I urge people not to retaliate against people here in the
United States and out of this country just because they
Now, that said... I have a couple of reviews for your perusal.
First, Diablo II: There’s this really cool “MOD” program for
Diablo II, called Cold Fusion. What it does is, changes the
.mpq file in the root directory for Diablo II and there it changes
the game somewhat. The changes are the monsters are a bit
tougher, the gems in the game are more powerful, the
character’s abilities are changed and enhance, and the items
have been modified. Also, you have more storage capacity
in your backpack, stash and Horadric Cube. You have to
watch yourself in the game better, because the monsters are
tougher. It will be best to start a new character as old D2
characters will be too low on hit points to survive. I found
this out the hard way. There are a lot more details to the
game, but not enough time to elaborate here. Go to their
website and download the “MOD” and read the details to
the game. All I can say, it has renewed my interest in Diablo
II.
You can find the “free” download at the following address:
http://www.planetdiablo.com/tactics/
Second “The Mummy Returns!”: This is one of the best
sequels ever! It is as good as the “The Mummy”. The
action is fast paced and the special effects are great! I have
seen it twice as of May 15th. Most of the original cast is
back. There is a story to this one, contrary to most
“CRITICS”, I use the term loosely. FYI: I don’t listen to most
critics because they rarely like what I like. Anyway, the
original mummy, Imhotep, is brought back to life by his love
who is re-incarnated in the body of his lost love, Meela/
Anck_Su_Namun, played by the lovely Venezuelan Patricia
Velazquez. You find out that Evie, played by the equally
lovely Rachel Weisz (pronounced Vice), is the re-incarnated
daughter of the pharaoh who was killed in the first movie by
his wife. Rick turns out to be a chosen holy warrior who’s
duty is to defend Evie and kill the Scorpion King. Rick and
Evie have a eight year old son in this movie and gets into as
much trouble as his parents. Anyway the race is on to
rescue their kidnaped son and prevent Imhotep from killing
the Scorpion King and then taking command of the Scorpion
King’s army of Anubis soldiers. Nasty little critters they
are!!! The sights are great as is the acting. I give this movie
4.5 Phasers out of 5.
Captain Rayford A.(Tony) Milligan
7 of 9 Things
We’ll Miss About
Star Trek:
Voyager
*Seven of Nine’s
resistance to human
customs, which does not
preclude her from
sporting lipstick, eye
shadow, and “Take me
now, big boy!”, high heels.
*The many and varied
moods of B’Elanna
Torres (indignant,
agitated, angry, livid,...).
*Captain Janeway’s
commanding inflection
whenever she stares down
an enemy ship and
intones, “Fi-re!”
*The way Tuvok always
appears to be this close to
just smacking Neelix.
*Chakotay’s noble
restraint regarding his
“relationship” with
Janeway (which just
means he’s too chicken to
make a move).
*The Doctor’s lack of
hair, which reminds us
that they could not cure
baldness by the 24th
century for either humans
(see Capt. Jean-Luc
Picard) or holograms.
*Harry Kim’s desperate
and pitiful attempts at
hooking up with any
female of any species.
Have fun and thanks for
the memories!
Submitted by:
Captain Rayford
A.(Tony) Milligan
“As printed in TV Guide”
05
CUTTING UP A STORM
FLEET CAPTAIN KEN DYSINGER
CHIEF MEDICAL OFFICER
[email protected]
The Cloning Issue eussI gninolC ehT
The Boys from
Brazil, Parts!
The Clonus
Horror, Alien
Resurrection, The
Cloning of Joanna
May, The 6th Day,
Star Trek: TNG, Star
Trek: DS9, Creator,
The Clone Master, and
SECTION
31
We are the
Men In Black.
We ensure that
the Federation
is protected
against all
enemies,
foreign and
domestic.
We are
invisible.
We keep track
of the threats
to your
security.
We are
Faceless.
We assist in
operations that
are best not
told to anyone.
We protect you
from yourself.
We control the
horizontal.
We control the
vertical.
We protect you
from us and
those like us.
We are your
last, best
defense against
tyranny and
oppression.
We are the
Men In Black.
We are
Section 31.
06
match in tissue and blood types.
And what about the cost and
expense of organ transplants? If we
could clone the organs from the
donor, tissue and blood matching
would not be an issue.
Sure... we can now clone whole
animals, but a cow, pig, frog, sheep
Multiplicity.
The same theme runs through all
these movies and TV shows.
THE CLONING OF HUMANS.
Is it possible? Is it ethical? Is it cost
effective?
These are some of the pressing
questions facing us today. If it was
me, and this is only MY OPINION...
Humans are not yet ready for this
leap of human biotech engineering.
I feel that we should slow down and
concentrate on maybe creating
replacement organs or body parts.
You know how many people are on
the national waiting list for hearts,
kidneys and other organs? Most
people die while waiting for the right
or mouse is not a human being. We
are a more complex life form. Look
at the movies Parts and The Clonus
Horror, they were cloning whole
humans of politicians and high
ranking government officials. They
were raising the clones on an
exercise farm and promising them
that they could go to America to
compete in Olympic games if they
were in peak condition. Once the
clones were in top shape, they were
frozen and ready to harvest for parts.
The BLACK WIDOWS &
DIRECTIVE SEVEN
The Black Widows
are the elite black
ops
unit
of
STARFLEET Section 31. We ensure
that the Federation
is protected from the threats that exist. For
these reasons, we cannot operate in the public eye.
What is Directive Seven? Well, to put it simply... Directive Seven is a classified presidential order in which is detailed the operations of
Section 31. Who we are, what we do and why
we do it.
So here is the ethical question, if
we are allowed to clone whole
humans, what would there place in
society be? A cheap labor force?
Parts to be harvested at a later date?
Used as disposable tools to be used
in toxic or hazardous clean up?
What about population control? If a
clone commits a crime, his finger
prints will match the donor. So who
do you arrest? How would you know
if it was the clone or the DNA donor?
Do we brand the clones with a BIG
C on the forehead? What about a
couple who loses a child? Do you
clone that child and continue as if
nothing has happened? What about
memory? Can we download the
donors memory and up-load it to
the clone? You be the judge.
Just let me re emphasize that this
is only my opinion. You should get
all the facts from all sides of an issue
before making up your own mind.
See you on the flip side of the
issues.
Stay healthy and
STAY OUT OF MY SICK BAY!
Fleet Captain Ken Dysinger
WE GOOFED...
In the last issue, we ran a story on terraforming
New York City. The website address and disclaimer were not included with the story. We
never intended to infringe on anyone or anything.
We spoke with the folks over at Brothers Grinn
and assured them that we meant no harm.
That’s us: Mostly Harmless
We apologize for this oversight and request that
all of you go check out their website for some
really loony and far out humor.
www.brothersgrinn.com
BRAIN STORM
CMDR. JONATHAN SMITH
TACTICAL GAMING OFFICER
[email protected]
the Runequest system. It is centered
on summoning, instead of more
“mundane” magic that we are used to
seeing in a psuedo-European fantasy
game. Anything from elementals to
demons can be summoned and bound
into weapons, items, or armor making
an enchanted item.
Greetings Again
Fellow Smegheads!
The following is a special report on:
The Stormbringer Roleplaying Game.
Stormbringer, the game, in this
incarnation was written by Chaosium
and published by Games Workshop.
The game is based on the Elric novels
by Micheal Moorcock. If any of you
remember the Runequest roleplaying
game from a few years back, the system
for Stormbringer is basically the same
system adapted for the Elric mythos. It
is a skill based system based on d100
rolls. The higher the skill percentage,
the better you are at the skill. Combat
is also skill based; the respective
weapon skill has an attack percentage
and a parry percentage. If you roll less
than your skill to attack, you hit; rolling
less than your parry percentage means
you blocked the incoming attack.
The magic system is a departure from
[email protected]
Characters, when created, look familiar
enough to anyone who has played any
incarnation of D&D. They have familiar
attributes, skills, and hit points.
After the game systems and mechanics
you have the background material.
This includes good descriptions of
(and maps) of the Young Kingdoms and
Melnibone. NPC write ups include all
of the major characters from the novels
so you can play any of the major
characters or face them as friends or
adversaries. Elric and the entire
Melibonean society are presented in a
supplemental book. If you thought that
Melnioneans were BAD in the novels,
read the game book!!! They will
definitely ruin your whole month. The
background material is considerably
well done and concise. It is worth
reading even if you have no intentions
of playing the game. Having said that,
however, this reviewer wonders why
you would not want to play this game.
If you are an Elric/Moorcock fan of any
measure, this game screams to be
played. Do yourself a favor and check
it out if you can find it.
Other independent game titles based
on Moorcock works are: Hawkmoon
and Corum. Note that “Stormbringer”
as a title is out of print (as is Hawkmoon).
It has been re-edited and rereleased as
Elric! However this reviewer is biased
towards the Stormbringer title, being a
member of the ship that he is!
PROJECTS
2002
The Stormbringer is
working on the following
projects for the year
2002:
SuperBowl of Chili
New Member Handbook
Until next time.
Region 17 Olympics
Section 31 Manual
SB Deck Layouts
SB Technical Manual
SB Fan Fiction
and much, much MORE!
Email Gumby for more
info... and give us your
ideas! We can do this!
THRASHIN THE KITCHEN
CHEF GUIDO THOR DEL FUEGO
PATHOLOGIST AND GALLEY CHEF
Cooking Up A Storm!
Chef Guido Thor Del Fuego
Chief Pathologist & Galley Cook
~ Presents ~
FUN WITH TEQUILA
SAMMY HAGAR’S WABORITA
2 shots Cabo Wabo tequila
1_ounce fresh lime juice
1_ounce Cointreau
Splash of Grand Marnier
Combine all of the ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake
several times, strain and pour into a salt_rimmed margarita
or martini glass.
Yield: 1 drink
TEQUILA AND LIME PORK SPARERIBS
1 rack of pork spareribs (about 3 pounds)
Salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 cup olive oil
4 limes, juiced
½ cup tequila
1/4 cup finely chopped onions
2 tablespoons minced garlic
2 medium jalapenos, stemmed, seeded and finely chopped
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh cilantro leaves
Season the ribs with salt and pepper. In a small mixing bowl, whisk
the oil, lime juice, tequila, onions, garlic, jalapenos and cilantro.
Whisk well. Season with salt and pepper. Place the ribs, meat side
down, in a glass baking dish. Pour the marinade over the ribs, coating
each side completely. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate
overnight (at least 12 hours), turning every couple of hours. Remove
from the refrigerator and bring the ribs to room temperature. Preheat
the grill on low. Place the ribs, meat side down, and slow grill the ribs,
turning and basting every 15 minutes. Cook for about 1½ to 2 hours,
or until the ribs are tender. Remove from the grill and slice into
individual ribs.
Yield: 2 to 3 servings
This Recipe from the Food Network’s “Emeril Live!”
Chili
Cook Off
Get out the old cookbooks and dust off the
Crock Pot... the time is
rapidly approaching for
the 1st Annual Region
17 “SuperBowl of Chili”
Sunday, Feb 03 at the
StormCellar. The FUN
begins at noon.
Email Gumby for more
info...
[email protected]
07
ION STORM
COMMANDER DAMON SCHOONOVER
CHIEF SCIENCE OFFICER
HEADLINES FROM
THE YEAR
2035
Castro finally dies at age
112; Cuban cigars can now
be imported legally but
President Chelsea Clinton
has banned all smoking.
Last remaining
Fundamentalist Muslim
dies in the American
Territory of the Middle
East (formerly known as
Iran, Iraq, Syria, and
Lebanon)
Afghanistan still closed
off; physicists estimate it
will take at least ten more
years before radioactivity
decreases to safe
levels.
George Z. Bush says he
will run for President in
2036.
35 year study: diet and
exercise is the key to
weight loss.
Nursing home event... Bill
Clinton denies allegations
of affair with candy
striper.
Texas executes last
remaining citizen.
Upcoming NFL draft
likely to focus on use of
mutants.
Baby conceived
naturally.....scientists
stumped.
Authentic year 2000
“chad” sells at Sotheby’s
for $4.6 million.
Ozone created by electric
cars now killing thousands
in Los Angeles.
Microsoft announces it
has perfected its newest
version of Windows so it
crashes BEFORE
installation is completed.
New California law
requires that all nail
clippers, screwdrivers, and
baseball bats be registered
by January 2036.
08
Greetings, all! Welcome to my humble
library and laboratory. At this time I
would like to call your attention to my
last report, detailing some of my
thoughts and research upon that most
important topic, the exploration and
colonization of Mars. I spoke then of
some of the more obvious problems of
such and endeavor, and briefly of some
of the people currently working
towards that goal. I now wish to point
your sense organs (visual) towards the
distant (the 50s and 60s) and not-sodistant (the 80s)of the twentieth
century. Since knowing where we Have
Been helps us on the journey to What
Will Be, I would like to submit the
following as Signposts from the Past.
the end of the 19th century to the latter
20th and (in part 2) the ‘true’ history of
space flight and. The list of
contributors to this book is long and
distinguished, with such luminaries as
Ben Bova, Michael Collins, and
Wernher bon Braun. This work also has
many illustrations and pictures of
magazine covers, technical drawings,
and photographs of ships and men. The
writing covers the history of space
flight all the way back to the Chinese
discovery of black powder. Each
chapter has a short bibliography of
books and government reports, as well
as space related organizations and
clubs. All in all, a very well-rounded
book and quite a joy to read.
First on our list, ‘Reaching For The
Stars : The Illustrated History of
Manned Spaceflight’ by Peter Bond.
This book covered NASA and the
Soviet Space systems from Mercury
through Apollo-Soyuz, Vostok to Mir.
It is a general treatise on the fascinating
history and competition of the ‘Golden
Age’ of space exploration. It also has,
as most books in this genre do, a final
chapter waxing positively of the future.
In this case, the development of a
‘reusable space vehicle,’ (read Space
Shuttle) and it’s conjectural
competitors. And, most importantly, it
has Pictures!
For all you space navigators, engineers
and scientists out there take note! ‘The
Starflight Handbook : A Pioneer’s
Guide to Interstellar Travel’ is your onestop shop for mission design,
advanced propulsion, and course
plotting. It delves into the esoteric
sciences of post chemical propulsion,
such as solar sails, nuclear engines and
interstellar hydrogen ram scoops. And
for you math buffs out there, it gives
you the physics formulary for motion
and propulsion. It also covers the uses
of space-based telescopes, unmanned
hyper-fast interstellar probes, and the
very real problems of mounting an
expedition to a star that light itself takes
YEARS to reach.
Or next submission, ‘Countdown : A
History of Space Flight’ by T.A.
Heppenheimer is a much more in depth
chronicle, covering the period from the
end of World War II to the 90s, from
Wernher von Braun to I.S.S. Alpha.
This book is much more in-depth than
our last entry, and describes in detail
the labyrinthine path the technology
and science followed. Mr.
Heppenheimer gives a very complete
account, taking us from the slave labor
camps of Nazi Germany to the Politics
of Space during President Clintons. The
books also takes us deep into the
engineering and technology of the era,
sciences only dreamt of barely a decade
before.
This next book is somewhat a
departure from the theme of the last two
books. ‘Blueprint for Space : Science
Fiction to Science Fact’ is a publication
of the Smithsonian Institution.
‘Blueprint’ covers (in part 1) the Science
Fiction of the pulp and book eras from
Finally, I would like to draw your
attention to a little manual that has
dropped into my lap. ‘The Mars One
Crew Manual’ was published in 1996.
It is a conjectural handbook for the
crew of Mars One, the first manned
mission to Mars. Comprised of 11
members, this historic crew will spend
2.5 years on their round trip mission.
The actual time on Mars is only 24
days, so get crackin! Actually, this is
an interesting read because of the
research done for the text and the
multitude of drawings and technical
diagrams. It goes into quite a bit of
detail, from tool description to the
design of the ships and landers.
So, that’s it for this report. I will list the
books I have reviewed here, as well as
several others you might enjoy. I thank
you for your time, and wish you a
Merry Christmas and New Year!
[email protected]
Bibliography for this article...
Reaching for the Stars : The Illustrated
History of Manned Spaceflight by Peter
Bond, with a Forward by former astronaut
Harrison Schmitt, Cassell Publishers
Limited, London, England 1997
Countdown : A History of Space Flight by
T.A. Heppenheimer, John Wiley and Sons,
Inc. 1997
Blueprint for Space : Science Fiction to
Science Fact edited by Frederick L. Ordway
III and Randy Leibermann, Forward by
Michael Collins, Epilogue by Arthur C.
Clarke. Smithsonian Institution, 1992
The Starflight Handbook : A Pioneer’s
Guide to Interstellar Travel by Eugene
Mallove and Gregory Matloff, G&H
SOHO, Ltd 1989
The Mars One Crew Manual by Kerry
Mark Joels, Ballintine Books a division of
Random House of Canada Ltd. 1985
For Further Reading
Man on the Moon by Andrew Chaikin (the
book that HBO based their series “From
the Earth to the Moon” on)
Pioneering the Space Frontier the official
report by the 1986 national Commission
on Space, Bantam Books 1986.
Living in Space : A Handbook for Work
and Exploration Stations Beyond the Earth’s
Atmosphere by G. Harry Stine, M. Evans
and Company, New York, NY 1997
Space Age by William J. Walter. This book
is the companion volume to the PBS
Television Series of the same name, narrated
by Patrick Stewart. Random House, New
York, NY 1992.
This New Ocean : The Story of the First
Space Age by William E. Burrows, Random
House, New York, NY 1998.
The Illustrated History of NASA by Robin
Kerrod, Multimedia Publications (UK) ltd.
New York, NY 1986.
Commander Damon Schoonover
Science Office
U.S.S. Stormbringer, NCC-74213
[email protected]
BIFFSTORM
FLEET CAPTAIN BIFF BASSETT
CHIEF OPERATIONS (OOPS) OFFICER
O O P S
Operations
(Oooops) Report
Greetings Stormbringer crew members!
It gives me great pleasure to announce
that I have been appointed the position
of Operations Officer for the
Stormbringer by your CO and mine
Johnathan “Gumby” Simmons! I hope
that I can be of service to all of you. I
will give you a brief biography of
myself before I go into
my duties to you. I was
born in San Fransisco in
a Naval Hospital. I have
lived in Pennsylvania,
Washington, D. C.,
Virginia, and Colorado.
Colorado is where I have
spent most of my life and
I love the Mountains! Its
nice to see them every
morning when I wake up
:) I have spent seven
years in the Navy and
have seen a lot of the
world and it’s cultures
and have enjoyed
learning about all of
them, my favorite being
the Japanese. Their
home life is gentle and
relaxing with slow and
easy approach to the
enjoyment of the simple
things in life, specifically
the earth around us with
the enormous variety of
plants and animals.
of 1995 having been recruited by
Dennis Gray of the then Shuttle to be
Silver Bullet.
I became the
Quartermaster and enjoyed going out
and having fun at the movies and
Conventions with them. The Shuttle
Silver Bullet commissioned and became
the USS Pioneer It was about that time
I went to my first Starfleet IC in
Oklahoma City in 1996 and really had a
blast! Then the Pioneer left Starfleet
because of the then CS of Starfleet did
some inappropriate things. I decided
to stay in Starfleet and joined the
at that time took over and because there
was no one else qualified and with a
vote of confidence from the crew, I
became the XO and I learned at that
time that I enjoyed helping other people
to have fun. After about a year and a
half of being XO they elected another
person. Because I wanted to stay in
the command structure I changed my
membership to the USS Endurance and
became the Operations Officer and had
lots of fun with them until they left
Starfleet. I attended the IC in Charlotte,
North Carolina where I was suprised
with the promotion to
Captain by non other
than the cutest RC in
Starfleet Keira RussellStrong! It was so
unexpected that I cried!
I have since been aboard
the USS Omega Glory
acting as the Starfleet
Liaison Officer since
they had just joined
Starfleet via the EFC
Program and I helped
them a little bit with my
input of Starfleet news
and goings on and
changes within Starfleet
as they happened.
I have been the ShOC
Director for Region 17 for
more that a year and a
half and have been the
Vice
Regional
Coordinator for Region
17 for almost a year.
I love helping people to
I have done a short tour
have fun in the clubs and
of duty in the South
I hope that I can help you
If the shirt fits...
China Sea in the very
to have fun as your
Auggie Ben Doggie (aka Osama Bin Laden) proudly
early days of the Viet
Operations Officer!!! My
Nam War aboard a Light
basic duties are to keep
displays his gift from the USS Stormbringer.
Cruiser the USS Topeka,
you updated as to when
while the time spent
your Starfleet dues are
there was not much fun, I did it because
Shuttle Uintah out of Colorado Springs.
due and to keep a database with each
I feel that all in this world should have
I became the Quartermaster and the
individual’s information in it.
Finance Officer as well of this Shuttle.
as much freedom as we do. That to me
They later commissioned to become the
was why I spent my time doing the
That’s about all for now, Y’all have a
USS Wind Spirit and I had lots of fun
service to my country. After an
good one and have as much fun as you
Honorable Discharge for medical
with them. During this time I went to
possibly can!!! ☺
two of the ICs, 1997 in Cherry Hill, New
reasons I have enjoyed a variety of jobs
Jersey, and 1998 in Lubbock, Texas and
learning about the world around me and
myself.
had a blast at those two IC’s as well!!!
The then CO of the Wind Spirit stepped
Biff Bassett
My Starfleet experience began in June
down for personal reasons and the XO
(Your Friendly *Oooops* Ops Guy)
A
QUESTION
OF MORALS
YOU DECIDE
I have a moral
question for you.
This is an
imaginary
situation, but I
think it is fun to
decide what one
would do.
The situation:
You are in the
Middle East, and
there is a huge
flood in progress.
Many homes have
been lost, water
supplies
compromised and
structures
destroyed.
Let’s say that
you’re a
photographer and
getting still
photos for a news
service, traveling
alone, looking for
particularly
poignant scenes.
You come across
Osama Bin Laden
who has been
swept away by the
floodwaters. He is
barely hanging on
to a tree limb and
is about to go
under.
You can either put
down your camera
and save him, or
take a Pulitzer
Prize winning
photograph of him
as he loses his
grip on the limb.
So, here’s the
question and think
carefully before
you answer the
question below:
Which lens
would you use?
09
S
T
STORE
R
M
the poop on
CATS & DOGS
Hear ye! Hear ye! Be ye
lovers of that great friend
of humanity, the everloyal dog?? Or, slaves of
that most insidious
creature, the cat?? Dogs,
the creatures that guards,
loves, and befriends us at
our times of need. Cats,
those closet megalomaniacs, with an unholy lust
for power and … really
bad puns.
Well, be ye cat or dog
lover is no matter. I place
before ye that most
compelling chronicle of
the eternal struggle
between good and Evil,
Law and Chaos,… Cats
and Dogs! 2001 saw the
release of this movie, and
friends, root for the dogs.
They have banded
together to protect
humanity from the
predications of the cats,
those creatures who had
domination over
humanity in Ancient
Egypt. Until, that is, the
brave dogs drove the cats
away and freed humanity
from their fell grip!
Alec Baldwin, Susan
Sarandon, Nathan Lane
and Jeff Goldblum brings
us the voices of the dogs
and cats and eccentric
scientists in a story right
out of James Bond. It
seems that Professor
Brody (Goldblum) is
working on an amazing
serum – the cure for dog
allergy (Ya know, smell a
dog, sneeze out your
brains)! Baldwin and
Sarandon are dogs
working to protect Brody
and his invention from
the evil plans of Mr.
Tinkle (Lane) and his
henchcats.
This movie is quite a
romp. I don’t believe I
have laughed so much in
one movie in over a
decade. From the spy
clichés to the maniacal
laugh of Mr. Tinkle, this
movie pushed the spy
movie envelope in a
delightfully twisted way.
So, grab your popcorn
and cokes!
To the movies!!!
010
STORM STORE
SHIP MERCHANDISE
WWW.CAFEPRESS.COM/GUMBYTREK
NOW YOU CAN FINALLY PURCHASE YOUR VERY OWN
USS STORMBRINGER APPAREL TO PROUDLY DISPLAY!
Casual Duty wear A
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Casual Duty wear B
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POLO SHIRTS!!!
New Logo Patches
Jackets
Jerseys
and much more!
Shield patches are still
available from the
Captain. $5! email him
for more information!
Front
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MousePADD
$13.99
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STORMBRINGER
Personal
Caffeine
Administrator
NOW EVEN MORE ITEMS ARE AT:
www.cafepress.com/gumbytrek
thank you fer your support!
FORWARD SENSORS
NEWS ON SCIENCE TYPE STUFF
THAT WILL ONE DAY GET US OFF THIS ROCK
MOON
MINING
Want to Invest in the Final Frontier?
LONDON (Reuters) - Space, the last frontier
remaining to be truly explored and exploited
by man. Vast mineral riches are believed to
lie in its cold depths, especially on the moon
— an untapped resource just waiting for its
first commercial landing.
Could it ever be possible to replenish the
earth’s supplies of gemstones and littleknown rare metals such as osmium and
rhodium by sending humans, or even robots,
into space to set up mining ventures on the
inhospitable surface of the moon?
An increasing number of private firms see no
reason to wait for the world’s governments
to take the lead and are racing to launch their
own space mining missions.
“Governments have no reason to go back to
the moon. They’ve been there, there’s no
political reason to go back. But there are a
lot of private reasons to go back,” said Ian
Randal Strock, a director of U.S.-based
Artemis Society International (ASI).
ASI is helping sponsor a project to build a
commercial manned moon base and plans its
first lunar flight in the next 10 years. According to Strock, technology is not the problem — rather, just how to raise the massive
amounts of cash required.
“If we had sufficient money, then it’s just a
matter of getting the pieces together, getting a launch and we’re there. The big delay
in any project to the moon is funding,” he
said.
“We’re looking at $1.5 billion for that first
flight,” he said. “We have four companies up
and running and making money, and we’re
looking to send up a robotic camera in two
years.”
The United Nations’ 1979 Moon Treaty, one
of several international outer space agreements, attempted to define the scope of private space activity. However, it was never
ratified by some major powers such as Russia
and the United States.
The treaty stipulated that any wealth obtained from the moon by any space-faring
nation was to be distributed to all the people
of the world. One clause, referring to space
resources as the “common heritage of mankind,” has been taken by private firms as
legitimizing efforts to mine on the moon
and asteroids.
The handful of private firms competing to
be the first to establish commercial lunar
mining are convinced of a lucrative market
for whatever they might eventually ship back
to Earth.
To back up their claims, they cite a famous
sale of Russian lunar samples held at a New
York Sotheby’s auction in 1993, where a
pebble of moon rock weighing less than one
carat fetched an astounding $442,000, or
$2,200 a milligram. According to Applied
Space Resources (ASR), a moon mission costing less than $100 million could return a quantity of lunar material with enough demand in
the marketplace to make the return on investment attractive to financial backers.
A private company based in New York state,
ASR aims to send an unmanned spacecraft to
an unexplored region of the moon and return
the first lunar samples to earth in more than
25 years.
“We have been at this for four years now —
we can do this technologically and we believe
that the market exists,” said Denise Norris,
ASR’s president. “The biggest hurdle is that
we need about three to three and a half years
to integrate everything.
“If everything moves on schedule, we would
be launching within five years,” she said, adding that ASR would soon be looking for $4
million in financing.
SCARCE METALS
Scientists believe the elements making up
most of the earth are also present on the
moon and make up most of its composition.
Analysis of lunar rock samples indicates a
wide variety of elements, with oxygen and
silicon being relatively plentiful.
Germanium, molybdenum, tungsten, rhenium
and gold rank among the rarer metals
present, in small percentages. Cobalt, nickel,
iron, aluminum, magnesium, manganese, calcium, sodium and titanium also feature.
But of more immediate commercial interest
are the six elements known as the Platinum
Group Metals (PGMs) — iridium, osmium,
palladium, platinum, rhodium and ruthenium.
Among the world’s scarcest metals, the PGMs
possess unique chemical and physical qualities that make them vital industrial materials. They are especially valued for their catalytic functions, conductivity and resistance
to corrosion. “There are certain minerals and
precious metals that we are going to find
where the supply is going to drop off soon,”
said ASR’s Norris. “I believe that the platinum group metals are going to be a real problem on earth, with fuel-cell technology.”
Fuel-cells, which are being developed to operate without fossil fuels, use around 10 times
more platinum than internal combustion engines, mainly as a catalyst. If they were to be
in widespread use, platinum demand would
rocket.
Norris added, “but it’d be extremely foolish
to say we’re going to make a ton of money
selling platinum group metals here. The resources are there and there’s a lot of stuff up
there,” she said, adding that this was mostly
from asteroid impacts on the moon.
PRACTICAL PROBLEMS
However, the daunting number of practical
problems facing a would-be moon miner may
prove insurmountable, scientists say.
The largest obstacle is the lack of water, used
in large quantities in most
erations but only believed
the lunar poles. Water has
for shaping the earth with
and mineral deposits.
earth mining opto exist as ice at
been responsible
its alluvial strata
Notwithstanding a similar lack of oxygen,
which does exist on the moon but is bound up
in compounds that are hard to break down,
the low-gravity situation means that robotic
mining would probably be more sustainable
than sending humans into space.
“Nobody is going to think of doing (moon)
mining with human beings,” said Richard Taylor, a council member of the British Interplanetary Society.
“We aren’t going to have little men with tin
hats holding picks in their hands,” he said.
“All this exploitation of asteroid material
will be robotic and remote.”
Finding the actual mineral deposits could also
prove tricky.
While the earth concentrates minerals in
specific areas by dint of volcanic eruptions,
the moon is volcanically inactive so new ways
of locating minerals would have to be found.
So far, there is little hard evidence about in
what form or where minerals are found on
the moon, although scientists have made educated guesses based upon studies of lunar soil
and rock samples.
“What you want is a means of establishing
what exists where, and whether there are local concentrations. That requires very comprehensive mineral mapping,” Taylor said.
“The moon has a semi-molten core but we’re
not going to see crystal formation or those
types of veining that you would see on the
earth with precious metals,” said ASR’s Norris.
“There is no crystallization in the same way
that we see on earth.”
EXORBITANT COSTS
Apart from the serious practical problems
involved with any activity on the lunar surface, the first obstacle for companies looking to mine on the moon is cost — and return on investment.
Experts say the cost of transporting items
into space is exorbitant, ranging between
$2,000 and $3,000 per pound of weight,
meaning that any lunar bases would really
have to be able to procure their necessities
from space.
“If there was a layer of gold a foot thick
floating over the earth at an altitude at which
we could send up a shuttle to go up and collect, it wouldn’t be worth doing it,” said Taylor.
“This is for the simple reason that it would
cost more per gram to go up and bring the
gold back than the gold would actually fetch,”
he said. “And a lot of these metals have high
values on earth only because they are rare.”
The real key to lunar mining, Taylor said,
was to reduce the cost of sending a craft into
space so that its operators could afford to
have a vehicle which went up partially empty
into space and came back partially empty.
• • •
Daystrom
Institute of
Technology
Games and Theory Lab
Alteberon System
Classified Stardate
Doctor Damon Schoonover
looked at the remaining
liquid in the beaker. He held
it up in the air for his
students to witness the
abrupt change in color and
consistency. The liquid
swirled as it changed from
orange to purple… then it
started to climb up the
beaker as the liquid
expanded…
“and thus you now have the
compound Trisothermic
Carbonite. This compound
is one of the most unstable
of the carbon family and
can be lethal if mixed
incorrectly.” The good
doctor stated matter-offactly for the benefit of his
charges. The reaction in
the beaker had run its
course and a red chunk of
spongy clay in the bottom
was the only proof that
there was ever anything
there to begin with.
Damon pulled the cap off
of the container of
CLASSIFIED LIQUID
#232 and looked at his
students. “Now I will show
you something I created
that will truly amaze you.
One of the wonders of
science. I have developed
this solvent that is designed
to return a substance’s
molecular structure to its
beginning natural state.
BEHOLD!” He exclaimed
as he poured the liquid into
the beaker of unstable
carbonite.
And in a blinding flash and
plume of smoke, he was
gone.
It rated a small column in
the backpages of a small
tabloid on a backwater
planet.
This was how Damon
joined the Stormbringer.
011
RANTING UP A STORM
EDITORIAL COMMENTS
FROM THE MINDS OF OUR MEMBERS
What’s Wrong With This Picture??
Mickey, Cinderella
win right to clean
underwear
After almost two months
at the negotiating table,
the workers who play
characters such as Mickey
Mouse and Cinderella at
Walt Disney World have
won an important
concession: clean
undergarments.
Under a tentative
contract between Disney
and the Teamsters union,
the workers will be
assigned individual
undergarments, which
they can take home each
night to clean themselves
instead of relying on
Disney launderers. Some
workers had complained
about getting pubic lice
and scabies.
“Things have been passed
around,” said Gary
Steverson, a stilt walker
at Animal Kingdom. “I
know I don’t want to
share my tights and I
don’t want to share my
underwear.”
Many of the characters
have to wear Disneyissued athletic supporters,
tights or bike shorts
underneath their
costumes because regular
underwear bunches up and
is noticeable. Each night,
they turn in the
undergarments with the
rest of their costume
before going home. They
then pick up a different
set the next day.
Disney officials had told
the workers that they
used hot water to clean
the undergarments, but
they apparently were not
doing so, said Steverson.
Some workers complained
about receiving
undergarments that were
stained or smelly.
Steverson said there have
been three cases of
costumed workers at the
Magic Kingdom getting
pubic lice or scabies
during the past two years.
“People are feeling
nauseous, they have itchy
eyes, are dizzy and have
headaches,” said Calon
Webb, a union shop
steward at Animal
Kingdom.
012
Hey folks, this is Commander
Schoonover again. I am standing on
my soapbox and hope you will stick
around to hear what I have to say. I
was watching CNN Headline News
Monday, 3 December and saw two
reports that started me thinking. One
was about the 5 BILLION dollars Pres
Bush got Congress to give to the airline
industry. Of course, the lion’s share of
the first billion or so went to the 5
biggest airline companies, American,
Continental, Delta, Southwest and
United. Well, there goes that ‘budget
surplus’ we had. Oh, that’s right! We
got that back in the tax refund last
summer.
The other story concerned the
International Space Station. It seems
that a bit of space debris got in the
docking hatch that the Russian
Progress unmanned cargo ship
attaches to, and couldn’t make a hard
dock. So, the Shuttle, going to replace
the crew, was not allowed to launch for
the fear that docking it would cause
the Progress to wobble, and damage
the station. Today’s report relayed that
the crew of the station made a space
walk and remove the debris, redocked
the Progress, and Shuttle is to launch
tomorrow. So, the first ‘crisis’ on
station was resolved, as expected, by
the station crew.
Why did these two things cause me to
get my soapbox and seek an
audience?? Well, let’s just say that I
am very disappointed with the way our
space program has progressed since
the
last
Apollo
mission.
“Disappointed” is actually too soft a
word. Words like disillusioned,
disgusted, frustrated, and baffled seem
more accurate. After all, it’s only been
3 DECADES since we landed the last 2
astronauts on the moon. 30 years since
that most amazing feat was
accomplished. And now?? To be sure,
our unmanned program of exploration
has been very robust. We have sent
probes to every planet except Pluto,
landed on an Earth-crossing asteroid,
sampled the tail of a comet, mapped the
surface of Venus beneath it’s perpetual
cloud layer. All very laudable
accomplishments, but where are the
people?? Arthur C. Clarke told us about
moon bases and missions to Jupiter,
manned mission, in his series starting
with 2001 : A Space Odyssey.
Here are my beliefs in the reason our
technology and space exploration has
not achieved the goal of permanent
bases on the moon, and Mars. Do you
all remember the Vietnam “Police
Action?” The beginning of the conflict,
back before President John F. Kennedy
was assassinated in Dallas, we had
‘advisors’ in Vietnam. Special Forces
groups who were tasked with training
the Montanyards (Mountain Men)
and, I believe, the South Vietnam Army.
Training on warfare, ambushes,
weapons use and care, and small
infantry tactics. All skills used in an
‘unconventional’ war. And it was
working. The local forces were holding
their own in a low level conflict. Our
SpecForces troops went on Seek and
Destroy mission with these local men,
and found them to be tenacious and
skillful warriors.
This may have continued, a small U.S.
Military presence in Vietnam, the war
being carried on by the local peoples
until a very horrible thing occurred here
at home. President Kennedy, one of the
most popular presidents in history, was
murdered in Dallas, TX. I will not bore
you with facts about an event almost
everyone in the world has memorized,
but to say that it changed much more
than most people realize. A decade
earlier, then-President Eisenhower
warned the country about the dangers
of the “Military-Industrial Complex.” By
this, he meant the ‘conspiracy’ between
the Defense Industry and our Military
to justify large R&D and production
contracts by the use of fear and the
starting or escalation of conflict. And
that is just what happened. Between
the “Bomber Gap” and “Missile Gap,”
the fictitious belief that we were behind
the Soviet Union in advanced bomber
and ICBM production, and the Vietnam
war, our military grew in power and
influence, as did the Defense Industry.
President Johnson greatly expanded
our troop concentration in Vietnam
almost immediately after taking office.
The conflict continued to escalate all
through his presidency, and into the
beginning of President Nixon’s. Nixon
is the one responsible for the canceling
of 3 (at least) Apollo mission, because
of the cost of the Vietnam war. That
began a decades-long decline in the
funding level of NASA.
This situation has not changed. NASA
is the predominate agency in this
country tasked with research and
exploration in space. That is not to say
that others aren’t influential, but NASA
is the basked almost all of our space
eggs is in. They have done a laudable
job during the post-Apollo years. But
they can’t have a long-term plan when
the politically-appointed Director can
be replaced every time a new person
takes the Presidency. And, since they
are subject to the whims any
Congressman who wishes to meddle,
they can, and have, find their plans
changed or cancelled on a moment’s
notice.
NASA is doing a good job, but not a
great one. What can change this?? A
potential global disaster? Contact with
an actual ET? Our more stable
leadership, oversight and funding from
our government. I believe that
Congress, after polling US (after all,
WE pay ALL the bills our government
generates) for our wants in the realm of
space, should give NASA a clearly
defined set of short-term and long-term
goals, with oversight by the GAO and
a budget that will let them do their
mission.
I also believe that NASA will not be
the vehicle that the cosmos is
eventually colonized. That will take the
combined efforts of NASA, all the
other Space Agencies, the corporate
sector, and the private and public
groups we join.. The problem with this
is that businesses will not get involved
unless that can expect a quick return
on their investment. Until then, we will
find the advanced technology and the
space bases that go with it the pages
of magazines and science fiction books.
STORM TREK
VORTEX STAFF
TREK IN THE NEWS
[email protected]
Chinese leaders are eager for the pride and prestige that would
come if China joined the United States and former Soviet Union as
the only countries to put a person into space. In 1999, China
announced a four-step manned spaceflight plan, with the aim of
establishing a space station served by shuttle-style vehicles.
China Moves Ahead
with Manned Moon
Landing Plans
AEROSPACE DEVELOPMENT “ESSENTIAL”
BEIJING (Reuters) - China is forging ahead with a mission to
send a man to the moon as it prepares for manned space flights
by 2005, state media reported on Friday. The moon mission is
part of Beijing’s ambitious plans build a space industry, the
China Daily quoted Sun Laiyan, vice director of the China
National Space Administration, as saying.
However Sun — speaking at an event to mark the first anniversary
of a cabinet “white paper” detailing China’s space plans — gave
no details or timetable for the mission, according to the newspaper.
A leading Chinese scientist said Beijing, which sent a monkey, a
dog, a rabbit and snails into orbit in January aboard its second
unmanned “Shenzhou” spacecraft, needed further unmanned flights
before it could send an astronaut into space. “We must be sure
that the astronauts are 100 percent safe in outer space after
launching,” said Liang Sili of the Chinese Academy of Sciences.
China will launch moon probes from Long March carrier rockets
in collaboration with the European Space Agency, the official
Xinhua news agency said, citing plans made public last year. It
said China hoped to explore the moon “in the next decade or
longer.”
[email protected]
There are many different topics that come
up when talking to people in todays online
age. There’s the issue of e-commerce vs a
world-wide encyclopedia. Some people
view the internet as simply an escape from
the mundane Real Life (RL) existence.
No matter how you view the internet as a
part of today’s society or economy,
everybody agrees on one vital point. That
point is online safety. Safety of your
personal information, safety for your
children, safety for your computer. Every
body you talk to has known at least one
person who has ’succumb’ to some
malicious virus that either a) crashed their
computer, b) destroyed their life, or c) left
them financially in ruin.
The most important issue when dealing
with online safety is to always be careful
of what websites you visit, what e-mails
you open, what information you give to
somebody in a chatroom or instant message.
If you don’t trust the source of a piece of
software you are trying to download, then
don’t download it. Find another source that
you feel is more trustworthy. Malicious
malcontents are alwayscoming up with new
China has looked to aerospace technology to step up
developments in telecommunications, weather forecasting,
environmental protection, agriculture, medicine and navigation.
Topping China’s agenda is a new, more powerful carrier rocket
that is also environmentally friendly, Xinhua quoted an official
saying. China, which has launched satellites for U.S. and Brazilian
operators, is vying for a bigger slice of the lucrative market for
launching commercial satellites. It has launched 48 satellites with
a 90 percent success rate and will launch another 30 in the next
five years, Xinhua said.
ONLINE
SESSIONS
look for our AIM
nicknames...
FCapnDave
Admiral Gumby
BoboFlash
balzfam
and here’s our ICQ
numbers...
Chinese astrophysicists have set up a laboratory to study the
universe’s response to solar activities and interplanetary
disturbances, state media said.
Gumby 12026868
Ken 1014051
Dave 4821530
Ann 203083
Bobo 113492863
“For mankind in the 21st century, space applications will become
as essential as electricity and oil in the 19th century,” scientist
Liang told the China Daily.
COME JOIN US
ONLINE
TODAY!!!
“We are just in the first year of the new century and
my prophecy will come true,” he said.
NETSTORM
LCDR. JP BALZEN
SPEC OPS WEBMASTER
ways to either gain access to your
information or to cost you money.
There are all kinds of virus software
available for purchase or free download. The
two most popular are McAffee’s Virus
If you get a suspicious
e-mail in your inbox,
report it immediately
to your ISP’s system
administrator.
Scan, and Norton Anti-Virus. These
programs are very effective, however you
must be careful that when running these
programs that you don’t cause your
comptuer’s system resources to drop too
low. Modems now need CPU processor
time in order to function effectively. Some
virus programs run in the background, to
provide you with all kinds of security,
however they cause your computer to
become bogged down while trying to
download from the internet.
The main point I am trying to reach, is that
it’s perfectly normal to be paranoid while
online, but sometimes it can be dangerous
to be too paranoid. If you are careful what
websites you visit, what attachments you
open, what information you release when
you are chatting with someone, you might
not need all of those virus programs running
100% of the time your computer is turned
on. If you get a suspicious e-mail in your
inbox, report it immediately to your ISP’s
system administrator. They have
procedures in place to either block that
person from e-mailing you again, or to even
close that person’s account.
Until next time in this virtual world that we
are all a part of,
The Paranoid Net Addict...
JP Balzen
Mmmmm
GOOD!
On-board culinary tricks
are just a small part of
the overall Stormbringer
Experience, we also like:
BakTurian Pizza
Romulan Ale
Delulain Ravioli
Klingon Gagh
Cheeseburgers
Roast Rack of Targ
Chocolate
Chocolate
Chocolate
Chocolate
and uh,
Chocolate!
Gotta recipe?
Send it to Guido!
[email protected]
013
PARTYING UP A STORM
GETTIN AROUND THE REGION
SOME OF THE NEW FRIENDS WE HAVE MET
Go places,
meet
strange
new
lifeforms
and then
drink them
under the
table...
You have
been
recruited by
the Star
League to
defend the
frontier
against
Zuhr and
the Kodan
Armada.
These are
the voyages
of the
starship
Stormbringer.
Her ongoing
mission: To
explore
strange new
worlds, To
seek out
new life and
new
civilizations...
To boldly
party
where no
one has
partied
before!
014
STORM OF THE CENTURY
COMMANDER TIM EVANS
INTELLIGENCE OFFICER
[email protected]
Josh
and
K’NadZ
from
House
Veska
ONLINE
SESSIONS
We are online almost
everynight on ICQ,
mIRC and AIM...
look for our mIRC
nicknames...
The Calm before the Storm...
CommDave
Gumby
MrFlash
Ghost
TTO
Mekanic
FCaptBiff
Josh
with
the
Cats
Connect mIRC to:
honor.fleetchat.org
destiny.fleetchat.org
Server Port 6667
SHADOW STORM
GSGT. KEVIN SEVERSON
STRANGE THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN SEC 31
[email protected]
Gunnery Sergeant Kevin Severson,
USS Arc Royal, reporting...
As I relay these events to you, I must tell you
that even though I was present, a witness to
it all, I cannot positively confirm that any
of it actually happened. It started in the
middle of Gamma shift, about 0300 hours
shipboard time. I was asleep in my quarters
on board the Arc Royal, but something
disturbed me, and brought me to
consciousness. At first I thought I might be
dreaming, because what I was seeing didn’t
make any sense. Sitting at my desk, fiddling
with my terminal, was a little man in a trim
black suit. He saw that I was looking at him,
turned and said, “It’s about time you woke
up, now fix me a drink.”
How did he get in my quarters? How did he
overcome Security? Who was this odd little
man with the week’s growth of whiskers and
the smart ass look on his face? I did the only
thing one can do when faced with the
unknown - I made him a drink. I ordered a
pitcher of Destiny’s Warp Core Breach from
the replicator. I had been sneaking samples
home and having the computer work up a
formula, and I think I was pretty close to
nailing the drink that had taken the top of
my head off so many times. He drank it like
it was Kool Aid.
I spoke, “Only one man alive could drink
like that, and he’s been dead for just about
three years now.”
“Exactly three years to the day, Gunny.” He
responded.
“Who the hell are you? How did you get in
here? What is this about?”
“I’m Gumby Dammit, and you will find that
this night will go a lot more smoothly if you
stop asking questions. Energize.”
My shout of dismay came into existence on
the transporter pad of a warship of compact
design, I think probably a Defiant Class vessel.
I expected to be snatched up and carried off,
but instead I was handed a black silk robe and
a rather odd looking drink. Being a Marine,
I put on the robe and drank the drink. That’s
when things got fuzzy. I was told that I had
been invited to the anniversary of the U.S.S.
Stormbringer. I said there was no such ship,
and they said, “That’s the spirit!”. Every
time I finished my drink, someone handed
me a new one. The man in the black suit
jammed a cigar in my mouth, and said, “Get
in the hot tub. The Earth is two thirds water,
there no reason a little of it shouldn’t be
warm.” For reasons I can’t begin to explain,
I did as I was told.
I remember there being Klingons, frisky ones
too, and I remember several very large cats.
I think a pitched battle occurred between the
man in black and a Cardassian in white armor.
I’m pretty sure the Devil was there, because
she ran her fingers through my hair for ever.
All the while we were watched over by a little
fat kid who wanted some pie. He seemed to
feel that no one was respecting his authority,
and I had to agree, because we all just ignored
him.
I muttered as sleep began to overwhelm me,
“Nobody is going to believe any of this.”
“You’re right,” piped in the man in black,
“so why bother telling anyone? There won’t
be any records to corroborate your story, no
evidence to support that you were anywhere
but in your quarters last night. Just go with
the flow, and I might drop in again some
time.”
I woke up two hours ago at first bell, in my
quarters, with a smashing headache but no
proof I was ever anywhere else. I didn’t even
get to keep the robe. Now that this report is
written, I feel rather silly about the whole
thing. I guess I just had to record this for
posterity.
“Computer, delete file.”
GAMES
WE
PLAY
Here is the updated
list of what we are
currently playing...
Diablo 2
Unreal Tournament
Icewind Dale
MechWarrior IV
Fallout 2
X-Wing vs. TIE
ST: Elite Force
SF Academy 2
Soldier of Fortune
Starcraft
Send us an email if you
wanna play online...
[email protected]
015
SCENES FROM A MAUL
2001 STARFLEET INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE
THROUGH THE EYES OF CAPTAIN TONY MILLIGAN
Away
Mission
Report
SIGNS OF THE
TIMES
Veterinarian’s office
sign: “All unattended
children will be given a
free kitten.”
Lot outside vet’s office
in Silverton: “Parking
for customers only,
others will be neutered.”
In a veterinarian’s
waiting room: “Be back
in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
Plumber: “We repair
what your husband fixed.”
Pizza shop slogan: “7
days without pizza makes
one weak.”
At a tire shop in
Milwaukee: “Invite us
to your next blowout.”
Door of a plastic
surgeon’s office:
“Hello, can we help pick
your nose?”
Sign at the psychic’s
hotline: “Don’t call us,
we’ll call you.”
At a towing company:
“We don’t charge an arm
and a leg. We want tows.”
Billboard on the side
of the road: “Keep your
eyes on the road and stop
reading these signs.”
On an electrician’s
truck: “Let us remove
your shorts.”
In a nonsmoking area:
“If we see you smoking,
we will assume you are on
fire and take appropriate
action.”
On Maternity room
door: “Push, Push,
Push.”
At an optometrist’s
office: “If you don’t see
what you’re looking for,
you’ve come to the right
place.”
016
IC 2001 REFLECTIONS
Hello fine crew! You know who you
are! Well, it’s time for my report on the
STARFLEET International Conference
in Kansas City, MO. First off, I have to
ask the question, KANSAS!? State line
to state line turnpike! Little or no towns!
And plenty of nothing! I have been
through other states that had more to
see splattered on the side of the road!
There, that’s better. Now that I’ve
vented... Back to the report.
Crewmember Switzer and I left the State
of Texas at roughly 4:00 am and made
our way north through Oklahoma and,
(BIG SIGH!) Kansas. We only made a
couple of stops along the way for rest,
food and fuel. We made K.C. roughly
about 4:00 pm, if I remember correctly,
going through Kansas was mind numbing. Do we sense a theme here? Three
hour cruise, a three hour cruise! Anyway, we checked in and got some rest
then checked out the hotel and the IC
registration table. First off, this IC was
a “WHOLE” lot better than the one in
Atlanta back in ‘95. While looking
around after the registration, I ran into,
figuratively speaking of course,
Gumby! We exchange pleasantries and
talked a little bit. He then had to get
back to a meeting of sorts. He’s the
Admiral, I’m only a Captain. Besides,
he gets paid more! Anyway, that night
Switzer and I ate in the hotel restaurant. This had to be about the best
food ever served in a hotel restaurant.
I have eaten at many and this was great.
The second day started off pretty good.
The whole day went smoothly and we
waited for crewmembers Damon “Bok”
Schoonover and Jonathan “Bobo”
Smith, who arrived around 5:00 pm Friday. Bok and Bobo needed rooms so, I
had offered Bok a roll away bed in my
room and Bobo stayed with his brotherin-law Switzer. This being only my second IC, I came to a couple of conclusions; 1) STARFLEET personnel
“LOVE” to PARTAY!!! & 2) some of
these guys & gals are really noisy. Had
a little trouble sleeping due to a few
next door, making a little bit of noise.
During Friday and Saturday, I got to
meet other members of the Stormbringer.
They were Biff & Dennis Gray. If there
were others, I can’t quite remember right
now, due to the fact that I have slept
since then. ( I got to meet the nice
young lady who created our website
that got an award for being the most
“FUN” site in STARFLEET. Her name
is Lauren.
During the Saturday ceremonies the
Stormbringer won 3 awards and Fleet
Captain Dave Pitts won an award as
well. Way to go DAVE!!!!!
We won:
1) Chapter of the Year
2) Best Electronic Newsletter
3) The Best Fun Website - Thanks to
Lauren Milan for her setting up and
often maintaining our site!
Overall the IC was great and I also got
to visit with an old childhood friend
who had moved to K.C. many years
ago and I only had seen him once since
‘91. Also, I surprised Gumby on his
birthday with a DVD. He really enjoyed
it. He was really surprised. I had to
thank Damon “Bok” Schoonover for
helping me pick it out. I also met a member of the House Veska, a Klingon
Chapter out of the Denver area, named
Lionel Smith. He was in full Klingon
get-up and looked really cool. I have
since e-mail with him and sent him two
of our printed issues from a while back
and a patch. He sent me a patch and a
sticker. They are really cool looking.
Now I need to find some kind of jacket
to put them on. There was one downside to the IC. On my way home on
Sunday, I received a phone call on my
cell phone telling me my Grandmother
had passed away the previous night at
11:00 pm. She had been ill for about a
year and was getting worse the whole
year. She will be missed greatly.
I hope to make next year’s IC in San
Jose, CA., but will have to wait and see.
KEEP THOSE REPORTS COMING IN
GUYS & GALS!!!
Captain Rayford A.(Tony) Milligan
Second(2 Nun) Officer
& Chief Helmsman
U.S.S. Stormbringer
Taking the Galaxy by Storm!
PHOTO STORM
THINGS THAT HAPPENED
THAT WE WILL NEVER ADMIT
Gumby proudly displays awards for
ShOC service and
SFI chapter of the year
Biff has no clue that he will be asked to
take a drug test upon his return from IC
You have been
recruited for an
organization that
doesn’t exist...
2001 IC
Ed Nowlin reminds
Chrissy Killian that the
Stormbringer is Da Bomb!
A variant on the Defiant
class design, the Defiant
class
escort
USS
STORMBRINGER merged
the latest in weapons and
Electronic
Counter
Measure
(ECM)
technology. The addition
of as yet unreleased
technology and other
classified systems proved
valuable not only in antiBorg hardware, but in
dealing with threats from
as yet unseen forces as well.
Operating in STARFLEET
Region 17 assigned to
Section 31, STARFLEET
follows established policies
and
denies
the
STORMBRINGER
“officially” exists. That is
one of the greatest
advantages of this vessel...
and one of her greatest
drawbacks as well.
Gumby Cuts his Birthday
cake with Scott Akers’
Klingon Kookie KutterTM
The Admiral of Vice escorts
LCdr. Lauren Milan to the
Formal Banquet
The things that go on
behind Alex’s back!
Upon assignment to the
STORMBRINGER, the
crewmember must undergo
the most rigorous and
classified
training
procedures
not
yet
admitted to… usually
resulting in a “Training
Accident” that claims the
life of the crewmember
assigned
to
the
STORMBRINGER.
Documents are signed,
Policies are processed,
Service files are closed…
From
there,
the
crewmember is briefed and
covert service aboard the
STORMBRINGER begins.
Welcome to the world of
Covert Ops. Now that you
are “officially dead”...
What are you going to do
with the rest of your life?
Mike Malotte wishes
Gumby a Happy Birthday!
Vice Admiral Johnathan
Simmons
Director, Section 31
END CODED
TRANSMISSION
017
MORE SCENES FROM A MAUL
[email protected]
DINKYCON 2001
THROUGH THE CLAY EYES OF GUMBY
THINGS I
MUST
REMEMBER
WHEN I COME
BACK AS A
DOG...
The garbage collector is
not stealing our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly
stand straight up when
I’m lying under the
coffee table.
I will not roll my toys
behind the fridge, behind
the sofa or under
the bed.
I must shake the
rainwater out of my fur
before entering the house.
I will not eat the cats’
food, before they eat it or
after they throw
it up.
I will stop trying to find
the few remaining pieces
of clean carpet
in the house when I am
about to get sick.
I will not throw up
in the car.
I will not roll on dead
seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
just because I
like the way they smell.
“Kitty box crunchies”,
although they are tastie,
are not food.
I will not eat any more
Kleenex or napkins and
then redeposit them
in the backyard after
processing.
The diaper pail is not a
cookie jar.
I will not chew my
human’s toothbrush and
not tell them.
I will not chew crayons or
pens, especially not the
red ones, or my
people will think I am
hemorrhaging.
018
Away
Mission
Report
DINKYCON 2001
DINKYCON 2: Bring your own Vice!
It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
Or was it night? Nevada highways have a way
of making it so that it is sometimes hard to
tell the difference. We departed Denver late
Thursday evening to begin our journey over
the rocks and through the salt to get to the
dirt. Luckily, I was able to pitch in at the lat
minute with some folks from the USS Ark
Royal who, as it turned out made the trip
bearable for the admiral. The Denver
Contingent consisted of myself, Captain Bob
Bulkeley, Colonel Pat Stewart, SGM Kevin
Severson and a sentient bag of barn fries,
with MCPO Lionel Smith meeting us there
at the con because the lucky @*$@*#* was
able to fly to Reno instead of driving out
through the dirt with us.
Arriving at the hotel Friday afternoon, we
were amazed at the sheer magnitude of the
Peppermill Hotel and Casino. This place was
a never-ending maze of bright lights, mirrors
and slot machines. Shortly after checking into
our room, we set about to find our friends and
meet new ones. At registration, the program
book was the best I’ve seen in Fleet so far!
While I got some needed rest, Bob, Pat and
Kevin went to dinner in the hotel/casino steak
house. Great food they said! And for $27.99
a steak (in a casino?) it had better be. All
throughout the weekend we would continue
to be shocked at the prices and confusing
maze-like layout of this hotel.
Friday night was the get acquainted night and
to further that aim, Lionel hosted the
attendees to a party in his suite (which he
offered up as the hospitality suite for the
night) at which we all settled in from our
respective travels and proceeded to get
pleasantly inebriated. At one point I
remember sitting in the suite’s Jacuzzi with a
Guinness in one hand and a phaser rifle in the
other. Region 4’s Vice Regional Coordinator,
Commodore Jerry Tien surprised us all with a
bottle of Chinese whiskey that was palatable,
potent 110 proof nectar, once you acquired
the taste for it. Nancy Lynch and Deb Kern
from the Mir were there as well as folks from
all over Regions 4 and 5. SGM Severson and
I made a very fruitful late night trip to the
grocery to purchase all their Guinness for the
party. In fact, the only drawback to this night
was that I got charged $1.75 for a cup of
coffee at the casino (and that was while
playing the slots!)
Next came the hard part… Saturday.
Saturday started off with the standard
substandard breakfast and faux hangover.
Opening Ceremonies were hilarious with R4
Regional Coordinator, RAdm. Ed Nowlin and
R5 Shuttle Operations, Captain Jolynn Brown
dueling for the role of emcee with the con
chair, Captain Lisa Tintle of the USS
Highroller. Our own RC, RAdm. Keira RussellStrong gave a short speech about Fleet and
the Sept. 11th attacks and introduced all of us
from R17 by having us stand up. She forgot
to mention what ships we were from though.
Whoops! :)
I found the afternoon panels well done and
informative. My own ShOC Panel attracted
29 folks, which was the most I’ve had at a
panel in my 8 or so years serving Shuttle
Operations. The Marine Panel I did not
attend, but heard from Kevin and Bob that it
was fantastic. The IC02 Panel and the
leadership panels were very well thought out
and executed. The panels at DinkyCon 2 were
among the best I’ve seen in Fleet!
The banquet and raffle were superb! RAdm.
Nowlin was hilarious in introducing the items
and calling the numbers with the help of Adm.
Allyson Dyar of Region 5. Allyson
decommissioned the Space Station Nexus
shortly thereafter, for reasons of furthering
her career as a writer. She handled it well;
although she was misty eyed at the end. In
the awards ceremony for Region 4, Fleet
Captain Dave Pitts of the USS Stormbringer
won Region 4 Member of the Year! For those
of you who do not know, Dave is the XO and
the Stormbringer recently transferred to R17.
The dance and evening formal was cancelled
at the last minute because either someone
forgot to bring a sound system or the one
they had got broken (I heard 2 different
versions of this) so we once again fell back
upon Lionel to play the role of Con
Hospitality Suite. Lionel got bumped from
the suite earlier in the day but cheerfully
offered up his smaller digs so that we’d all
have a place to drink, drink and be merry!
The Tarantula and Chinese Whiskey flowed
hand in hand with the infamous R4 Vulcan
Mind Probes. Vibrating tribbles, glow in the
dark breasts and lest I forget, Fleet Captain
Ramon Macias’ interpretation of the “Man
from Atlantis” on the carpet of the room
were images of the party that will haunt my
memory for a long time.
On Sunday the breakfast buffet jumped in
price from $8.99 to $15.99 but we were all
able to see each other and say our farewells.
All except me, that is. I was back up in the
room sleeping off the events of the previous
evening in anticipation for the long day’s
journey back through the dirt and the salt to
get over the rocks and back home.
DinkyCon, like all other cons, had its share
of good points and bad. Were it any other
organization, it would’ve likely bombed. But
the people were the main highlights for me.
The people made it the con worthy of the
name DinkyCon. People, panels and parties,
oh, my!
All in all, I enjoyed this year ’s Western
Conference. The USS Highroller did a splendid
job of hosting the event. The hotel staff left
a lot to be desired, as they made you feel as if
they were doing you a favor by assisting you.
The hotel was a nice one… just a little too
pricey and way too much of a maze for a
bunch of drunk fleeters trying to find their
way to the coffee shop at 4am.
On a personal note, I’d like to thank the
members of the Ark Royal for treating me to
a fine time. I enjoyed the conversations and
the drive almost as much as the con itself! I
look forward to the future camaraderie and
to the new frontiers our two chapters will
explore together! Oh, and thanks Lionel, for
everything!
So until next time,
“Kevin, do you love me?”
Vice Admiral Johnathan “Gumby” Simmons
Commanding Officer:
USS Stormbringer, NCC-74213
STARSHIP U.S.S. STORMBRINGER
MAY/JUNE 2001
FANDEMONIUM CREW ROSTER
USS STORMBRINGER
ROSTER
Commanding Officer
Vice Admiral Johnathan Simmons
[email protected]
Executive Officer
Commodore Dave Pitts
[email protected]
Second Officer
Captain Rayford A. Milligan
[email protected]
MEMBERSHIP
STUFF
12.01.01
Officers
18
00
9
27
Enlisted
Chief Medical Officer EMH
Fleet Captain Ken Dysinger
[email protected]
Chief Operations Officer
Fleet Captain Biff Bassett
[email protected]
Chief Science Officer
Commander Damon Schoonover
[email protected]
Chief Jacuzzi Technician
Admiral Dennis Gray
[email protected]
Commodore of Engineering
Commodore Adam Self
[email protected]
Chief Counseling Officer
Fleet Captain Ann Dysinger
[email protected]
Chief Engineering Officer
Lieutenant Commander Karen Pitts
[email protected]
Chief Tactical Officer
Commander Jonathan Smith
[email protected]
Cadets
Total
Coming Soon...
SEC 31 OPS
MANUAL
Member Fiction
Counseling Officer
Ensign John Robert Galvan
DECEASED
Amphibious Combat Officer
Major Robert Watts
[email protected]
Stupid Admiral
Tricks
Zen & the Art of
Supression Fire
Chief Security Officer
Ensign Wayne Roberts
[email protected]
Spec Ops Webmaster
Lieutenant Commander JP Balzan
[email protected]
Demolitions Expert
Commander Pat Harris
[email protected]
Forensics Officer
Commander Lynn McCrarry
none listed
Chief Intel Officer
Commander Tim Evans
[email protected]
New Membership
Handbook
USS Stormbringer
Official Party
Guide
Sekret Black Ops
LOTS More
GOOD Schtuff!
Cadet Commander
Acting Ensign Jillian Whitney-Pitts
[email protected]
Cadet
Midshipman 4 Angelica Pitts
Cadet
Midshipman 4 Sam Anderson
Cadet XO
Midshipman 2 Michael Anderson
Cadet
Midshipman 4 James Pitts
Cadet
Midshipman 4 Alexis Harris
Cadet SO
Midshipman 3 Patrick Roberts
I C 2002
UPDATE
Cadet
Midshipman 4 Nick Anderson
So far, we have a total
of 5 members
confirmed for this
event.
Cadet
Midshipman 4 Alicia Harris
If you want to attend,
contact the CO,
Gumby at
[email protected]
ASAP
SECTION 31
Better yet! You can
register electronically
www.ic2002.org
019
Happy Holidays from
w w w . s f i . o r g
This Holiday Season the USS Stormbringer would like to remind you to TREK Responsibly
Parody advertisement - not to be taken seriously.