barefacts-issue1068-131103 - University of Surrey Students` Union
Transcription
barefacts-issue1068-131103 - University of Surrey Students` Union
Thursday 13 November 2003 Published by the USSU Communications Office issue number 1068 free www.ussu.co.uk THE UNIVERSITY BAREARTS - - LITERATURE OF ENTERTAINMENT Literature Editor Jen Walker brings us her interpretation of the first installment of Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. A special four page pullout from Alan ‘Disco’ Roy showing you all the exciting entertainments coming up at USSU over the next few weeks! Literature| page 16 Ents| centre pages SURREY STUDENTS’ NEWSPAPER I N T H I S W E E K ’ S PA P E R UNION | Neil Christie looks at the state of our lectures at UniS | page 7 INTERACTIVE | Ben Berryman, with lots more entertaining puzzles | page 20 SPORT | Sailing, Bowling, Women’s Squash and loads more | pages 23 & 24 STOP PRESS: The barefacts submission deadline has changed. It is now 5pm on the Friday before publication USSU Closes Down After an insufficient number of students attended its Annual General Meeting, Sussex Students’ Union have suspended all their services for a whole week, including sports clubs, societies, advice and media as well as all their bars and shops. THE UNIVERSITY OF Sussex Students’ Union has taken the drastic action of closing all their Students’ Union services, after the number of students attending their Annual General Meeting last week failed to reach the required quota to pass the year’s budget and make important decisions. The Union states that it needs 5% of all students to be present to pass key decisions – that’s a total of 573 students. On the front page of their website, the public part of which has been suspended in the withdrawal of Union services, USSU state that “Union Council is the forum in which these decisions are made, most particularly the decision to pass a budget for the coming year. Without a budget passed by students, the Union can’t spend money. No organisation can run itself if it doesn’t spend money, so the Union is forced to shut down.” In this drastic, but many believe, justified move, Sussex have withdrawn all their teams from BUSA Sports Leagues, and have also closed Falmer House, the Union building, where many societies hold their weekly meetings, and all the Union staff have their offices. In addition this week they have not produced ‘The Badger’, their weekly newspaper, as well as withholding their Advice Service, which is similar to our own USSU in offering advice and referrals on students’ academic and personal problems. In addition, the Union has also closed their bars and shops, leaving students without many of their favourite places to socialise. Sussex’s Communications Officer stated in an email to students “If you use the [union’s Lots of Letters | page 3 our very own students’ union, which is also suffering through lack of attendance at union council photo: chris hunter BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH EDITOR IN CHIEF facilities] you better hope there are enough people at the next AGM or you might find campus life changing drastically”. Sussex are reconvening their AGM this Wednesday (yesterday), so it remains to be seen whether enough people attend to warrant the reopening of their Union services. As with the majority of Students’ Unions across the country, including Surrey’s, Sussex have been experiencing problems with attendance at their Union Council. To pass any motions or make decisions, Council meetings must be attended by a number of people specified in the Students’ Union’s constitution; in Surrey’s case this Programme Reps | page 6 number is 40. The last Union Council here at Surrey was poorly attended, and numbers fell just short of those required to pass any motions. Union Council is a forum which exists in order to give students the chance to have their say about the Students’ Union and its services. Attendance at Surrey’s Council has been low for a number of years, and several Sabbatical teams have struggled to get to the root of the problem – why aren’t people voicing their opinions? With the election of the new Union Executive Committee last month, steps are being taken to show people just what they can gain through coming to Union Council, but it remains to be seen as whether these steps have a lasting effect on the attendance, and also the relevance of Council. All students are encouraged to attend, and although only Union Councillors can vote in normal meetings (there are around 150 Councillors), everyone is able to ask questions and discuss the issues raised. If you are unhappy with where you money is going within the Union, then Council is the place to air your worries, ask direct questions, and hold the Sabbatical Officers to account. If you feel the University are unjustified in charging the high rents on campus, then bring your thoughts to council, and mandate the Union officers to do something about it. It is hard to justify people complaining about things about the Union or University in forums such as the USSU Bulletin Board, or simply to their friends, when they do not stand up and tell people that something needs to be done. There are rumours that other Unions around the country may follow in the footsteps of Sussex if attendance at their Union Council meetings drop even further, and Surrey could well be one of them. USSU Union Council Tuesday 2nd December 6pm Helyn Rose Bar One representative from every society & sports club to attend, as well as all other Union Councillors. Matrix Revolutions | page 10 Sport | page 23 2 NEWS Oxford pub sponsors EDITORIAL TEAM 2003-4 Editor in Chief Sarah Butterworth comms @ussu.co.uk Editor Chris Ward cs21cw @surrey.ac.uk Deputy Editor Neil Christie ms33nc @surrey.ac.uk Deputy Editor Ben Berryman ma91bb @surrey.ac.uk Music Editor Matt Badcock ms01mb @surrey.ac.uk Music Editor Jon Allen bs21ja @surrey.ac.uk Film Editor Neil Boulton cs21nb @surrey.ac.uk Theatre Editor Daisy Clay ps21dc @surrey.ac.uk Literature Editor Jennifer Walker ph21jw @surrey.ac.uk News Editor Philip Howard ph02ph @surrey.ac.uk Sports Editor Peter Nichols cs11pn @surrey.ac.uk CONTRIBUTORS Matt Adams Dave Annan Laura Birch Josephine Bright Lisa Burgess Pippa Carter Dave Chapman Natalie Cotton Scott Farmer Matt Fisher Chris Hunter Claire Iles Catherine Lee Carol Main Dina Mystris Dave Parrott Anja Poroshina C. Richardson Richard Sharp Lee Sheldon Sandeep Sohal Pete Wigfield Design & Layup: Sarah Butterworth Pete Nichols | Chris Ward Ben Berryman | Neil Christie PhD students BY PHILIP HOWARD NEWS EDITOR ST JOHN’S COLLEGE owns an old and popular student pub which has refreshed its students for some 500 years. Now, however, the pub is ploughing some of the profits into funding PhD students. The funding provides for 3 PhD students up to £12,000, with £9,000 paid out to students above their fee costs from the pub’s annual £50,000 profits. The research funded by the Lamb and Flag is that which is no longer supported by funding coucils: “It’s mainly focused on arts and humanities, social sciences and maths because those areas aren’t well funded. Last year one of the students was looking at children learning mathematics - how children learn maths. Another looked at women and madness in French literature” reports the Guardian. The venue has been a part of student life for those attending St John, with the likes of Tony Blair, CS Lewis, Tolkien etc frequenting it in their time. Barefacts can only hope that a Roots scholarship is in the pipeline for urgent work on student social habits. 13 November 2003 300 UCAS Points = £1,000 BY PHIL HOWARD NEWS EDITOR MIDDLESEX UNIVERSITY HAS announced a new scheme to attract high achievers in which they are funded to the tune of £1,000 a year for the length of their time at the university. The scheme will pay out to those who attain 300 UCAS tariff points or more - the equivalent of three B grades at A-level. It differs from many similar schemes (such as those in place here at Surrey) in that it provides for all three years of study. 100 students of the 25,000 at Middlesex meet the criteria at present, a number the university “plans to double - at least”, according to its Press Release. Although it is believed to be the first of its type by a UK university, the scheme is not dissimilar to that offered by the Physics department here at Surrey; a £1,000 one-off bursary for every student that enters the department with an A in both Physics and Maths. It is expected that similar schemes will be offered by other universities as a way to entice top students away from the traditional Russell Group elite, and may become common if top-up fees are introduced. The NUS fears this is a sign that universities were moving towards a more American system where cost is a significant factor in students’ higher education choices. Leeds Student Paper May Go Private BY PHILIP HOWARD NEWS EDITOR AWARD WINNING UNION paper Leeds Student may choose to become entirely private, according to the THES. In May an entire print run was pulped by the student union’s executive committee after receiving legal advice about an article contained in the issue. Editor Mark Powell said of the the paper “We have already demonstrated that we can function independently.” The paper is thought to receive over £70,000 a year from the union, which it refunds through barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper and is published by the University of Surrey Students’ Union Communications Office. The views expressed within the paper are those of individual authors and do not necessarily represent the views of the Editor, the University of Surrey Students’ Union or the University of Surrey. This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in any form, copied or distributed, without the express permission of the publisher beforehand. All submissions must include the author’s name and Union or Staff Number. Submission is no guarantee of publication. Articles submitted Anonymously and Pseudonymously will not be published. barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions. [email protected] WWW.USSU.CO.UK © USSU COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE 2003 advertising revenue. In moving to become private, the paper could apparently increase this amount as there would be no union control over which adverts could be run. The union pulled the issue at a cost of some £1,500 of advertising revenue, and refused to fund the following issue, forcing the paper to fund it itself - with much success. Mr Powell said: “I think this was the straw that broke the camel’s back after a long history of friction between the paper and the executive.” Leeds Student is one of the best known in the UK, winning the NUS’ Best Student Paper award last year. This year it (or its Do you have a complaint against this newspaper? If you have a complaint about any item in this newspaper which contains inaccuracy, harassment, intrusion or discrimination write to our editorial team about it. If you remain dissatisfied please contact the Press Complaints Commission - an independant organisation established to uphold an editorial Code of Practice for the Press. This newspaper will abide by their decision. Press Complaints Commission 1 Salisbury Square London EC4Y 8JB Telephone: 020 7353 1248 Facsimile: 020 7353 8351 Printed by Sharman and Co. Printers Peterborough Tel: 01733 424949 contributors) have been nominated for best newspaper, best photographer, best feature writer, best sports journalist, best fashion journalist and also for the diversity award. Surrey’s own barefacts has been nominated for best campaign for the ongoing Lights, Camera, Action campaign started last year. Want to get your opinions heard? Then Email your letters to [email protected] by the Friday before publication at 5pm. barefacts notices barefacts meeting | Thursday 13th November | 5pm | USSU Media Centre GU2 meeting | Thursday 13th November | 6.15pm | Hari’s Bar Taiwanese Society AGM | Friday 14th November | 7pm | Committee Room Hellenic Society AGM | Tuesday 18th November | 6pm | LTD Gliding Club EGM | Friday 21st November | 5pm | Committee Room Ignition Night - A night of R’n’B, Hip Hop etc | Thursday 13th November | 9.30pm - 2am | £3 entry Conservative Society AGM | Thursday 20th | 2pm | Committee Room RAG EGM | Thursday 20th November | 1pm | Committee Room Seraph | Monday 1st December | 6pm | Committee Room ~ Switchgear LAN Party on Sunday 16th November from 11am to 11pm in TB21. Bring your PC/laptop with network card and cable. ~ submit your articles online... email [email protected] 3 LETTERS 13 November 2003 Letters to barefacts Letters must be received by 5pm on the Friday before publication to be published in the next newspaper. Letters may be edited for length or clarity | [email protected] Dear barefacts, As a dedicated student who utilises the university bookshop on a regular basis, I have been motivated on many occasions to complain about the service offered by the bookshop. One usually finds the staff very willing to help and the shelves stocked full of useful course texts. However, as I understand it, the bookshop has a monopoly on the provision of books and stationery to all students at the University of Surrey. It has a guaranteed income from the students that can probably be predicted with more accuracy than a similar bookshop in a more commercially realistic setting. This luxury would usually mean an improved service that should surpass the service encountered at other similar establishments. However, from my experience this is not the case. The bookshop usually only stocks books that it can guarantee to sell, by stocking books that are prescribed by the various courses offered at the University. One would normally expect a bookshop to stock books that allowed a potential customer to peruse the shelves on the chance of finding something relevant to their interests. This perusal process is also impinged upon by the process of placing books in randomly located places under very broad subject categories, that simply confuse the regular book shop browser. One finds oneself having to adapt to the unusual nature of the University of Surrey’s bookshop shelving habits. A third annoyance is the inability of the staff to determine whether they have books under a particular subject or keyword heading in stock or actually in print. This makes the avid book reader having to resort to alternative catalogues such as the extensive catalogue offered by Amazon, who as a result probably gets the orders for a good number of those books. A fourth issue that I would like to complain about, is the pricing policy that the bookshop follows. All the books are priced at their absolute maximum price. Surely, the privileged position that the bookshop is in, would allow it to sell books at a reduced price that might compare to the various internet retailers’ prices? Evidence of this being a possibility is the current sales policies offered by both Waterstones and WHSmiths in the centre of Guildford. YOURS SINCERELY, JOHN CHIVERTON. Dear barefacts, Upon arriving at the University of Surrey, all being freshers, we were all looking forward to the new social life with great anticipation. Upon entering Chancellors Bar we were not disappointed: the friendly environment mixed with an atmosphere of open enjoyment gave us a place to go for a relaxed drink before moving on to later things. Imagine our surprise when an odd change occurred within the ranks. Where once we had been greeted by lively, smiling and helpful individuals we found ourselves face to face with ignorant, grumpy neanderthals with a penchant for blatant rudeness. Late Sunday night we strolled into Chancellors for a quick pint, having forgotten about Sunday trading hours (as you do), it was 22.25 when we got to the bar and bought our drinks. Whilst moving towards a table, time at the bar was called and we realised our mistake. As we reached the afore mentioned table a member of staff idled by and told us he would prefer it if we didn’t use the chairs and finished our drinks, as yet untouched, standing. This was done (apparently) nicely. We proceeded to lean upon the backs of the chairs (already stacked in twos) and placed our drinks upon a table to rest our weary limbs, the two of our number of the fairer sex found unstacked chairs and sat on them. Within three and a half minutes a loud voice was heard to proclaim that it was time to drink up and leave. Having worked in bars for some time now I was under the distinct impression that drinking up time was twenty minutes, at which point customers are politely asked to drink up or give up, not just to leave (once again, apparently nicely). Glancing around the room I saw an array of equally disgruntled faces, so we were obviously not alone. As we downed our drinks, which is decidedly less fun when you have no choice, we were asked to leave and made out to have been rude for the use of a table. With still ten minutes to leave (unless I am sorely mistaken in my earlier statement) we stood and waited for those relieving themselves and discussed earlier events. A member of the bar staff overheard and quipped “so don’t come back then”. I may have already mentioned that I have worked in bars before, and I was always encouraged to keep customers, no matter how successful the bar may be, and not to allow my current mood affect the way I treated them. I highly doubt that this letter (should it get as far as the publishing stage) will greatly affect the inflow of customers to Chancellors, as it shouldn’t, for most of the staff and pleasant and professional. I simply ask all to think twice as to whether you really want miserable, unprofessional, power mad arses spoiling your night. YOURS FRUSTRATEDLY, UNSATISFIED CUSTOMERS Dear barefacts, Dear barefacts, Dear barefacts, I’m writing in response to Katy West’s letter last week about the ‘What Do Women Want?’ article, and also as part of the female race, my advice is...chill out!! It was purely an amusing article showing just how complicated and downright annoying women can be! It was written tongue in cheek and was not meant to offend. She must understand that we do some crazy things sometimes, she’s probably done some herself (like writing that letter). My friends and i read the article while eating lunch in Channie’s and were laughing out loud in places. Neil Christie is a brilliant writer and showed how us women can be a little strange now and again, (why can’t my boyfriend read my mind damn it!) even if it seems totally logical and rational at the time. Maybe Katy should just relax...or get a sense of humour transplant, whichever is easier. I think Katy West showed her ignorance in last weeks letter when she wrote; “[the article made them out to be] heartless, conniving sexaholics, which everyone knows isn’t true”. Surely some women are like this and some are not, in the same way that some men are. I think it is rather sexist and offensive to women (and men) who can think beyond their own impression of themselves, to group all women in such a way. I can however answer her “hard to understand” conundrum of why men leave the toilet seat up: Why should we have to touch something we don’t wish to use? You [females] are the ones who need to use it, so why don’t you leave it up? I might also point out, that if you left it up in the first place, then those of us [males] who are too disgusted or lazy to touch this largely female apparatus, may not soil it in a way that I’m sure you are familiar with! This is written light-heartedly so try not to take everything to heart, if everyone just tried a little harder to view things from the others perspective we would all be better off! I also don’t want lots of letters pointing out that guys also use the saddle for secondary system evacuation, I already know. Sorry to drone on and on but I had to kill a bit more time today due to the excess left over after drinking my Chancellors Cola which it seems is now only served in a “medium” 90p glass. I am writing in response to a letter published in barefacts issue 1065, concerning my complaints about the lack of communication skills of the staff in Rushes. The letter implied that if I exercised more forgiveness and was more relaxed with regards to mistakes by staff, that there would be fewer mental problems in the world. I would like to state my opinion that if staff make mistakes they shouldn’t be crucified, but they should be reprimanded appropriately. My complaint was that when I was served a meat pasty instead of a vegetarian one the staff member in question was not reprimanded and I received no appropriate apology. I feel so angry at the fact that this staff member’s mistake lead to my consumption of meat. This sort of mistake is hard to forgive. Another thing to mention was that my personal apology from the head of catering was less that satisfactory, and at no time did he apologise for his mistake. Rather, he told me about the changes made in Rushes and the action he has taken to rectify the situation. Saying sorry is not a difficult thing to do and understanding your errors and making sure they are repeated is not hard either - we should know, we are students and we make mistakes all the time. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY RANT, BECKY CLACK. what do women want? YOURS SINCERELY, JEREMY FIELDING THANKS, RAJIV DOSHI got something to shout about? The Barefacts publication deadline has changed, so email your letters to [email protected] by the Friday before publication at 5pm. 4 LETTERS & COMMENT opinion Could it be our USSU? SUSSEX STUDENTS’ UNION has been forced to close down because of a lack of caring from their students and general apathy with regards to their union council. Although Surrey’s Union is not at the brink of closing down, the lack of attendance at the last council was less than it should be, as laid out in the constitution. It’s probably worth reminding all students what the council means for you. In terms of scope, the council can literally do anything for you (within reason). If you wish to create a motion to investigate the possibility of lower prices, it can be done. If you wish to open up the possibility of amending the union’s guest policy, it can be done. In fact if you want to do anything that is related to the union, be it a change, an introduction of something, or an eradication of policy, it can be done. Although only councilors can vote at council, anyone can interact with council and put forward points of information and argue the case for or against motions. Bearing in mind that programme reps, heads of societies, the union executive, and sports clubs representatives are all councilors, there are plenty of people to represent the student body as best as possible. The council should be a buzzing atmosphere of debate and discussion. Almost every student in the university would want for some aspects of their experience to be altered - and the council is where to do it. Moaning to friends in peer groups or only sending in letters to barefacts makes a point, but doesn’t act upon it. Students have a voice, make yourself heard. CCTV At Last AFTER MANY MONTHS of waiting, there is now a CCTV presence on the route from Tesco’s to campus. The camera was installed last Friday and is positioned just beyond the small underpass. It has a good view of the far exit from the small underpass, and although it doesn’t appear so at first, also has a line of sight to the long Tesco’s underpass. This is good progress, but still not enough to tackle the problem as a whole. The Lights Camera Action campaign coordinated by USSU is asking for CCTV at the Southway underpass, improved lighting, the cutting back of the foliage on the route towards Southway, as well as occasional police presence. LCA will be discussed at next month’s Union Council, on 2nd December, and keep your eyes open for more developments on the campaign front. Random Fact of the Week [from Alan Roy] The foundations of University Court go as deep as the buildings are high. barefacts | be heard 13 November 2003 Letters to barefacts Letters must be received by 5pm on the Friday before publication to be published in the next newspaper. Letters may be edited for length or clarity | [email protected] Dear barefacts Dear barefacts, In response to last week’s headline ‘We Don’t Want Students’ I would like to say that it seems unfair to brand the residents of the Ashenden Estate anti-students as the article suggests, when they are concerned about the impact 5 storey buildings would have upon them and possible lack of parking leading to students parked illegally. I myself am not against students (I am a student here) but would also be concerned if my neighbourhood was going to be subjected to 5 storey buildings and possible lack of parking. They are to be congratulated for raising these points and not subscribing to the general apathy that affects so many people these days who then whinge when it is too late. Hopefully the planners and developers will listen to their views and prevent any problems occurring in the future. I recently sustained a severely twisted ankle whilst unloading the union van having driven back from an event for Stage Crew. Lucky for me the St. Johns LINKS Society was on first aid duty at the time, they immediately came to my assistance and helped me walk down to the activities centre and put a ice pack on my ankle for about half an hour. I would like to thank Laurence, Emily and the rest of the Society for their care and attention following my injury. They were very professional and made me feel comfortable despite the pain from my ankle. So next time you are upstairs in the union enjoying a night out, spare a thought for the people sitting downstairs ready to come to your assistance should you have any problems. Yet another example of unsung heroes of Union Events. YOURS SINCERELY CLAIRE HAMMONDS YOURS SINCERELY, JON STONE In response to Ms Hammonds’ letter, Chris Ward writes: excuse to applaud them for making such a mountain out of a mole hill. Just across the road from Tesco is the Royal Surrey Hospital, which is a lot more than just five stories high, with large chimneys as well, visible from most parts of the Ashenden estate. Illegal parking is a proper issue, yes, but perhaps the residents’ association in Ashenden should concentrate on these proper issues rather than the more pathetic ones. As a resident of Ashenden myself, I do understand the feel of community spirit that is evident through their campaign. However, this also means that I have seen every piece of information sent to residents in regards to the Manor Park development. What I wish to emphasise is that nobody owns a view. To complain about being “dwarfed” by big buildings whenever they go to Tesco is ridiculous; and regardless of any other excuse, this was the prominent factor emphasised in the literature circulated throughout the estate. I do not agree that seeing evidence against apathy is an YOURS, CHRIS WARD EDITOR I Hate Hangovers Josephine Bright has a mini-rant about the joys of the morning after a heavy night I hate hangovers. No really I do, and I’m not a hate kind of person. I dislike things (liars, cheats and mushrooms), but I only get that overpowering, all-consuming hate feeling towards hangovers. Actually I’m wrong – there’s one thing I hate more than hangovers and that’s the people who don’t get them. You know the type I’m talking about – they swan in just after you’ve popped half a pack of neurofen, which hasn’t had time to kick in yet. You know you look like Godzilla’s ugly cousin, but by some unfair ruling of the Gods, they manage to look fresh-faced and perky. Certainly not like they consumed the best part of a litre of vodka a mere 8 hours earlier. But I digress. Hangovers. There are lots of reasons I don’t like them, most of all because they don’t play fair. You can consume a hardy group of sailors worth of spirits and wake up with just a dull throbbing behind your eyes and the appetite of a large jungle animal. But if you decide to go easy on the quantities, and instead make the deadly decision to combine wine and cocktails, you wake up the next day feeling worse than when you fell (quite literally, and often fully clothed) into bed. So you turn to your two trusty friends – neurofen and water, frantically hoping that they will work their magic and make you feel human within the half-hour promised. It never happens. The water merely makes you need to pee every ten minutes and the neurofen appears to have had a nasty chemical (perhaps even nuclear) reaction with the alcohol that, rudely, hasn’t yet left your bloodstream. Onto the next highly recommended cure – The Fry Up. It seemed like a good idea, even when cooking it, though your stomach’s reaction to the smell of bacon could be taken in two different ways. But post-eating you still have an unrelentless warrior banging VERY LOUD drums in your head, a slightly nauseous belly, and to top it off you’ve just added to the something-furry-died-in-your-mouth feeling, and not in a Colgate-fresh way. So instead you spend all day and most of the evening watching Dawson’s Creek re-runs and feeling incredibly sorry for yourself, before deciding that bed is by far the best idea, even though it’s only 9pm. And it works. You wake up the next day feeling suitably more human and realising that the hangover has claimed yet another day of your life. But it doesn’t matter, because you’re meeting the others at the pub tonight to start all over again. 13 November 2003 COMMENT 5 The Threat of AI, Terminator IV? Continuing his random thoughts on life, this week Neil Christie dips his fingers into a totally different pie, and explores how the discipline of Artificial Intelligence could provide a detrimental influence on society. There’s no doubting that computer skills are becoming an essential part of personal repertoire in the 21st century. The various ‘Key Skills’ sessions that are run by the university are there to ensure that everyone has a basically knowledge of applications used across the board (ie MS Office) so that we can all go on our way progressing through our degree using computers. However, although I and many others have ‘grown up’ with computers around us and are comfortable using them, to varying degrees, there are lots of people around that simply can’t use computers. If they’ve managed up until now and they’ve only started to use them because they’re coming to university, why is there an incessant need to get people IT literate? Perhaps one of the main issues as to why students are put through the programme is because it reflects well upon the university. If the university are seen to be encouraging IT awareness and implementation, their degrees are awarded better status because of it. Or so one would think. But perhaps the underlying reason is that we as humans need to understand computers in order to ‘get along’ with what could be our friends of the future. I’m verging into the concept of artificial intelligence and robotics, which isn’t as far away as some may think. In many countries, particularly the US and Japan, there are robots doing day-to-day tasks and they are actually learning. They are thinking for themselves and adapting to new situations to find the capacity to take over us. most efficient methods of doing things. In One thing that will always be true is that, some ways this is great – us as humans from a management perspective, computers can leave the mundane tasks to the robots can do simple tasks a lot more efficiently we’ve got pre-programmed around us. In than humans and for cheaper. Think about others, this could be the start of something an ATM. Would you rather go to a cash extraordinarily scary. machine, hit a few buttons, I won’t speculate about It may not happen and get some cash out the possibility of it turning – or speak to an individual into a Terminator script, in this lifetime, but if behind a desk, that would but I had a discussion the boffins among have to use a computer with someone who is anyway to record how us as a society very into their AI about much you’ve taken out, the possibility of robots and take forever doing are developing effectively taking over. I it. So it seems that from machines that are a business and consumer argued that (and I got this from a film, admittedly) so powerful, soon point of view, computers humans designing the are favourable to people. If robots could programme it could be the case both ends of the spectrum them to limit themselves. that these machines are pushing for computers That is, they can think to in place of people, AI is a certain level, but never are developing other something that could come be free of constraints that machines themselves. into our lives in a big way humans have put upon very soon, so long as the them. However I was told that because AI machines involved in the processes are involves intelligence, it would evolve and simple to use. Meaning that we don’t have work around this. My argument was that to understand the things in order for them every computer is an input à process à to do our cleaning, washing, ironing, and output device and is therefore only going vacuuming. Just like not many people know to do what it gets told to. I was told yes, exactly how an ATM works, yet everyone but AI has the capacity to no longer be a could feasibly use one. computer and therefore becomes a ‘being’ Basically I’m saying we could be – and will evolve into more than just a welcoming in machines that, unless processing device. Basically it appears that we know more about them and start to AI could fast become something that only understand them, can overwhelm us as they a limited number of people understand, yet may start off doing what we want them to, it would be utilised in society on a mass but could soon become bored with that (as basis, and the ‘mass’ of us aren’t clued up on presumably an ‘intelligent’ machine would computers, let alone AI. Effectively we’d seek for self-development) and start looking be taking for granted and using something for other things to do. Not only will this we don’t understand, yet potentially has the have massive implications on our economy by replacing workers, then services, until finally machines can manage others, but it also seems that people are willing to develop machines that do their own job. In short, we theoretically could be producing a new race that will replace our own. Organizational suicide? It may not happen in this lifetime, but if the boffins among us as a society are developing machines that are so powerful, soon it could be the case that these machines are developing other machines themselves. Although it’s questionable whether or not a machine so ‘clever’ would be so stupid as to try and replace itself with a superior model. Which in effect is exactly what we are doing right now with AI. It may well be the greatest thing we have ever developed – but isn’t that exactly the worst thing to happen? ‘We’ develop some incredible machines that are superior to us in every way and just hope that they won’t realise this? If there are indeed no methods of counteracting a machine from unplugging itself from restrictions imposed upon it, then feasibly there are no restrictions, as computers can process things far more powerfully than the human brain. Sure, humans invented computers, but if computers are given the capacity to invent themselves, then it’s very self-defeating. With most things there are social and moral limits with how far scientists can go. Many, for example, may consider cloning ethically wrong, and legislation can be passed to prevent this. However with machines there are no real ethics. Nobody will criticise Athlon or Intel for developing a processor a million times quicker than the last – as it’s seen as advantageous to people in general. But the issue is, where is the line for saying that developing a certain chip or board or machine is no longer advantageous but potentially deadly to the human race? We may only notice that line with hindsight, and if machines are already replacing humans now in certain areas, it may well be the case we’ve gone too far already. 6 UNION 13 November 2003 Are You… Enthusiastic & Sporty? UniSport and Disability Challengers (a registered charity that provide play and leisure opportunities for children and young people with any special need), run a sports club each Saturday morning (10-12) in the Uni Sports Centre for 6 week block durations. The new block starts from 8th November, and there is loads of interest! Volunteers are needed to help coach trampolining, climbing, sports and dance. Fear not – you do not have to be experienced as UniSport offer training – all you need is enthusiasm! You do not even have to commit to each week – although most of the current volunteers love it so much they go most weeks! Are You… Musical? Normandy Community Therapy Garden is a day centre for disabled people which specialises in horticulture and is always on the look out for willing volunteers to help out in the garden, and with the clients. They have an exciting one off event and they have approached the USSU to help! – they are having an annual event and are looking for a musician to play – either in the background or a performance. The event will be held on Saturday 29th November in the evening, and you will get your travel expenses paid, and free food for the evening! Can You… Design A Website? What a great project to get your teeth into – either on your own or with a friend!…Surrey Welfare Rights Unit is part of Citizens Advice Bureau, and they provide a specialist consultancy service to all related organizations, and are in great need of a website with their services on – can you do this? Can You… Dish Out Food? The Number Five Project is an emergency night shelter for accommodating rough sleepers in the centre of Guildford, and are searching for volunteers to assist in dishing out evening meals and chatting with residents… you can commit to doing 1 or 2 evenings a month and this is a really practical way of actually helping individuals, as well as great life experience. Can You… Be A Sounding Board? This project is called First Steps, and it supports young people aged 10-17 from all traveller backgrounds who may need assistance and guidance. Travelling communities make up one of the largest ethnic groups in Surrey, and this project is so successful as it links you with a young person and you can just chat with them, and help enhance and give direction to the ideas that the young person may have. Come and get a leaflet for more information. Please contact me for more information on any of the above fantastic opportunities, or to find out about other exciting opportunities – the list is fun, and endless, and gives you a funky certificate at the end of the year, as well as looking absolutely stunning on your CV! Carol Main | [email protected] | [01483] [68]3254 The New World is Coming Conservative Society Re-launch Website By Lisa Burgess and Anja Poroshina By Claymore Richardson Why don’t people go to classical music concerts anymore? Over the past ten years the number of people attending classical music concerts has declined causing concern for people in the Arts industry. In many people’s eyes classical music is viewed as an oldfashioned form of entertainment. They hold the opinion that it is boring and expensive to attend the concerts. This is not true at all. There is a large variety of musical performance, offering the opportunity of finding something that appeals to everyone’s tastes. Concert ticket prices are surprisingly low, especially local concerts that can charge as little as three pounds and some are often free. If you consider the recent Robbie Williams concert at Knebworth, tickets cost forty pounds and you had to stand in a field to watch it! Three pounds isn’t much to pay at all! Low prices are offered in the hope that more people will attend the concerts and will want to attend others. In going to these concerts you would be supporting your riends and fellow students and possibly trying something new. The University Symphony Orchestra and Choir are performing on Sunday 16th November at 7.45pm in the University Hall. The perfect opportunity! University of Surrey Conservatives finally re-launched their website this week, three months later than originally planned. Society Chairman Mike Chambers and Events Director Hayley James have designed the new, enlarged site. The latest society news, and info on forthcoming events and campaigns are contained as before, alongside four new sections including a photo gallery. The layout has been completely transformed, and bears no resemblance to it’s predecessor according to Hayley James, who adds: “We’re very pleased with the site. It’s far better than our first attempt, which probably put people off! We’ve tried to make our site as informative and user-friendly as possible, but we would very much appreciate useful comments and suggestions”. The Conservative Society site is at: http://society.conservative.com Want your society article in barefacts? E-mail [email protected] with your article, in Times New Roman font, size 10. Write about your society’s event or activities, and email [email protected]! 13 November 2003 ACADEMIC AFFAIRS 7 The State of Our Lectures In a slightly more official capacity than normal, Neil Christie reports on the things he has learnt since becoming USSU Academic Affairs Officer, with particular focus upon lectures. He also puts his manifesto ideas into context, asking for the student body to provide the initiatives for the future that could bring changes for the next academic year Last week I sat in on a programme rep of the Dodo bird. From what I’ve learnt, it meeting at a school other than my own seems that some lecturers themselves have (Management’s mine, incidentally) and labelled recommended texts as ‘useless’ thought it was going to be the classic sitin certain areas. Considering some of the in-silence, with the chair trying to extract books weigh in heavier than Mike Tyson information from those that sat around the and cost about as much as his pet tiger, room. it would be very useful to know what we Not so, and I was pleasantly surprised, and really should be buying, if anything at all. I also comforted to know that the problems gather there are again issues with the books I’ve experienced as a management student not explaining things properly, and if you’re are being shared by others around the studying a science degree (which many do at university. But really, as these problems are UniS) and have a very rough guideline to go apparently common, something needs to be on for fusing nuclear atoms, it suggests that done ASAP, and with any luck will be done there’s an accident waiting to happen. as soon as the basic framework is in place And lastly, the ‘key skills’ sessions. for changes to occur. One school had a 2 hour lecture on time Essentially the common problems were management, and amusingly enough it ‘assumed knowledge’ in lectures, a less than of searching you’ve probably drawn more here to study. Again, it differs between seems when the speaker asked what was adequate set of lecture notes and reading blanks than a western cowboys movie. schools, but surely it’d be a good idea to thought to be a waste of students’ time, a suggestions, really rubbish recommended Some schools put lecture notes up on the point students in the right direction with few people answered with “this lecture”. texts, and some ‘key skills’ lessons being web, some lecturers within schools do it. regards to reading, and The IT sessions which are seen as a complete waste of time for some Some put it up before the lecture, others why we’re reading what we “Considering some of given by the university do it after. Some put all the notes up at the are – i.e. its context in the students. the books weigh in serve an excellent purpose By ‘assumed knowledge’ I’m referring start of the term, some put them up as and course. I’m not after being for allowing individuals when they can. The point spoon-fed information, but heavier than Mike Tyson who don’t often use a to the situation where is, there’s no standardized ‘Guided Discovery’ is the and cost about as much computer to learn the a lecturer in subject X “The common method so most of the time teaching style I would have as his pet tiger, it would basic skills in a variety of assumes you know the problems were the students don’t know thought is most appropriate background for that subject be very useful to know applications. However, for assumed knowledge, what to expect. For my to university. That is, we’re and have studied it before students who are familiar what we really should with these applications, subject I have three areas given suggested topics for – usually at A-level. So less than adequate where notes may or may reading, where these are in the for management students and those that may have be buying” it could be economics, lecture notes, rubbish not be posted, and it’s pretty recommended texts, and why studied IT at A-level, recommended texts, intermittent as to when they we’re meant to be reading them. It seems they’re a complete waste of time. It for biomedical students it may be chemistry (slightly and key skills lessons” go up. One set was up at the I’m not the only one who reads a book, but wouldn’t be so bad if it were possible to start of the semester, which really am not taking anything in because I do each ‘assignment’ straight off, back to worrying when considering was great and it seems to don’t know what I’m looking for or why I’m back, in one session. Instead it’s a weekly the health and safety implications of someone who doesn’t know be the best method. Occasionally there reading it. It’s all very well reading about annoyance for those that could spend their what they should be doing but has the are changes made to the programme which personality types and their traits and what time more productively elsewhere. When potential to severely injure themselves or means new lecture notes are e-mailed round kinds give certain reactions etc. but if there’s further considering that USSU’s training those around them), and for dance students in advance, but apart from that it’s the most no context to place it in, it doesn’t help with initiative, DAVE, covers time management, it could be assuming they’ve listened convenient method I’ve experienced. So association to the course. So a suggestion presentation skills, chairing meetings, extensively to Now (That’s what I call one thing to be arranged is how the lecture is to provide a sheet for every student after communication skills, and a whole host of Music) 33. Whatever it is, it’s assumed you notes are distributed. Clearly this may have each lecture that states what the lecture was other inter-personal skills, it seems DAVE know everything there is to know about the to be different for particular schools, but about, what the aims of it were, and where to could be used to free up timetable space for topic and it’s glossed over casually whilst standardization within a school would be a find material to support the lecture and build students, take pressure off of the university on what was given to the students. about 98% of people in the room turn to each good start. staff, and allow students to arrange sessions Then there’s the topic of the notes Thirdly, the recommended when it’s convenient for them. other and say “er… what?”. Lecturers then Spending over a think there isn’t a problem because nobody themselves. Some lecturers have There are other issues that come up, such “I haven’t paid texts. (well, almost always nobody – sometimes this strange inclination to missing over four grand for hundred pounds in the uni as cramped space in lectures or lab sessions bookshop isn’t the best of (again, health and safety issues that really there is a saviour) will put up their hand and out slides with the reasoning that ask what they meant. And to be completely if all the notes are there, people forty or so Power- experiences, but finding out need to be looked at for the safety of what has been bought won’t students), and I can’t hope to cover them all Point honest, in a room full of 100-odd people you won’t turn up to lectures. Maybe, back in the old days when uni was don’t know, would you? presentations” be widely referenced to by here, but if you have anything you feel is lecturers or has any use just important and should be looked at, please So when the above happens, and it’s effectively free, this would be the usually a few times per lecture, you sit there case. However, personally I haven’t paid cements the depression even further. For all please e-mail them to academicaffairs@ thinking “ah no problem, I’ll just read-up over four grand for forty or so PowerPoint the assignments I’ve written so far (a grand ussu.co.uk . Course-specific issues can on what I need to know and learn it for the presentations. That’s not a degree and at the total of three) I’ve used precisely none of be directed towards course or programme assignment / exam / course material / fun of end of the day that’s exactly what everyone the books I bought at the start of the term. representatives, who will do their best to it”. So you wait patiently until the end of the is here for, which brings me onto another Perhaps they’ll come in useful for reading assist in any problems there are within the lecture, don’t receive a handout so assume point. Going back to assumed knowledge, week, and I hope they do, but the fact remains course! it’s on the internet, and run off eagerly to we’re here to learn. So therefore, reading that for supporting lectures at the minute check the school’s website. After half hour is a very important part of the degree we’re they may as well all be written in the words [email protected] 13 November 2003 Telephone Campaign What could be so interesting that the Vice-Chancellor, his Development Director, the Director of Marketing and Public Affairs, and Heads of Schools all want to visit within the space of a week? The answer…a room full of students! Not so unusual in a University? This one obviously is! Of course they are all interested in seeing the Annual Fund Telephone Campaign. We are now in week two of the campaign, our team of student callers are sharing 6 shifts a week, and have contacted over 500 alumni and have already raised a considerable amount for the Annual Fund. Our alumni are delighted to hear about the University today, as many have not seen the campus since they graduated! Many alumni are also very keen to support the students of today. This week, some of the callers will be calling our alumni abroad. Extra daytime shifts have been added to make allowances for time differences between the UK and the Far East, where we have numerous alumni we hope to contact. The students are doing a phenomenal job, and the competition for highest number of gifts is about to begin! 9 PROFESSIONAL Dr Russ Replies Warm Up Over Winter DR RUSS CLARK | UNIS CAREERS SERVICE I’d like a temporary job. Can the Careers Service help? Students living off campus in houses should be aware of certain procedures that are necessary if the property is left empty during vacations. The Christmas period is particularly vulnerable as water pipes, tanks even heating radiators may freeze when the weather is very cold. Damage caused as a result of this is normally the responsibility of the tenant – even though you may not be in the house at the time. You asked at just the right time. The Careers Service is on the verge of launching a Student Jobshop. We have been busy contacting local employers, 161 at the last count, to see whether they have any part-time or temporary vacancies. The replies are just starting to roll in. Houses/Flats with Gas Central Heating: The heating system should be left switched on during the Christmas period if you are away. Set the thermostat at a minimum of 55 degrees Fahrenheit (15 degrees centigrade) to come on from 9pm to 6am. This is the very minimum setting and if the temperature stays at or below freezing during the day as well, this may not be sufficient. The fuel costs involved will be considerably less than the potential cost of repair of damage caused by freezing pipes and subsequent flooding. All you need to do is register your interest with the Careers Service. Simply e-mail [email protected] and we will email vacancies to you on a regular basis. You will then be free to respond to any that interest you. We will keep your contact details confidential and they will not be revealed to employers. Houses/Flats with Electric Storage Heaters: Storage heaters should be left switched on at a low setting to prevent freezing. In addition: Before you Leave: 1. Ensure radiators are left on (gas central heating) 2. Turn off electric immersion/water heaters 3. Turn OFF mains water at stopcock (usually under kitchen sink or in a downstairs toilet) When you Return: 1. Turn ON mains water at stopcock 2. Wait 30 minutes before switching on water/immersion heaters 3. Check for leaks. If you find a leak switch off the mains water at stopcock and contact your landlord. How do I find out about these? What sort of jobs will be available? We expect most vacancies will be in the more traditional areas of student employment such as retail, bar and restaurant work. However, in our mailing to employers we have mentioned that graduates have other skills to offer and are hoping that some employers will offer more degree-related work for those who would like it. Can I register at any time? Of course. But even if you are not interested at the moment, it would be worth registering just out of curiosity. That way you could keep an eye on the types of jobs that are available and apply for something that happened to catch your eye. I mainly want a job for the money, but could it help me in any other way? There is no doubt that graduate employers value work experience. They assume it will have helped you to develop certain attributes such as team-work, customer care, commercial awareness and so on. Reference to these qualities can help with some of the more demanding questions on application forms and during interviews and could make the difference between an offer and a rejection. Do you have a question you think Dr Russ could help with? Just send it to [email protected] or pop into the careers service and speak to an advisor “well, that’s my film article out of the way - how about that other section near the front?” “you mean... Comment?” “that’s the one - I really want to write something....” “did you have anything particular in mind?” “well, i’ve been skimming through the news and there’s a few things that take my fancy” “really? well, all you have to do is write something, between about 400 and 1000 words, and then email it to the same address - [email protected]” “great stuff” “Just remember to put it in Times New Roman size 10, and get it in by Friday at 5pm” [email protected] - easy as pie. LOTS OF EXCITING THINGS... ... in this week’s barearts section. A review of the Matrix on the film pages, Lord of the Rings in Literature, and the infamous Cats reviewed on the theatre page. Could you ask for anything more?! We’re Milking It Now, Mr Anderson Richard Sharp dons his black suit and dark shades, and sternly analyses the final installment of the Matrix trilogy, in its first week on release. The much hyped “Year of the Matrix” draws to a close with the release of Matrix Revolutions, finally in to cinemas. After the slight disappointment of Reloaded for most people, Revolutions has a lot to live up to if all the hype is going to be justified. The film starts where the last left off, with Neo (Keanu Reeves) in a coma, and the machines still tunnelling to Zion to destroy the last of mankind. Meanwhile in the matrix itself, the virus like Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving) is growing larger in numbers and in power, and the oracle still speaking in riddles and baking cookies. Unlike the other films, much of the action is in the real world, focusing on the invasion of Zion itself, with the humans battling the swarm of sentinels in their gun toting, walking battle armour, and Neo and Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) travelling to the machine city. Don’t you worry though, there’s still the slick bullet time kung fu sequences. These sequences do make us feel that the Wachowski brothers are starting to run out ideas. One particular fight sequence early on stinks of the lobby scene of the first film, and the major battle between Neo and Agent Smith [only one of them this time, the others watching] feels like something out of an old DragonballZ cartoon. Under all the action, the story carries on although the main characters from the first film have almost been brushed off the sidelines and instead focusing on the new minor characters. Such as Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) taking the back seat to Niobe (Jada Pinkett Smith) driving the ship to Zion, and the little kid from the Animatrix and Reloaded, joining the fight to stop the machines. As the last film in the trilogy, it certainly does its job of answering the fans questions, as well as leaving things open for spin offs, prequels and such. The more hardcore fans of the films will leave at the end content. However, if you didn’t understand some of the first film and play the game, and watch the animated shorts and read the comics, and bought the t-shirt you will probably come away a bit confused about bits but overall you’ll be satisfied. Overall, if you enjoyed the other films you’ll enjoy this, but if you don’t like sci-fi or action you’ll probably still see it just to be able to talk about it. Theme Kung Fu Man versus Machine Sequel. Rating 15 Running 129 minutes Time Watch this if you like The other 2 films The Terminators Sci-Fi Big budget effects The Blues Brothers Hopefully this won’t be the start of a frightening trend, but I would appear to find myself looking at another musical. I’m pretty sure I should be reviewing films where large parts of a city explode and gunfire rains down from a crimson sky. But no, another musical… Anyway, The Blues Brothers shall be the focus of this weeks glance at the classics of cinema and it happens to be a musical… ish. While being released in 1980 the film’s foundation lies further in the past – The Blues Brothers started life as a Saturday Night Live sketch. Saturday Night Live is a comedy sketch show in the US which has had most of the States top comedians in its alumni (Mike Myers, Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray…) and it’ll probably be the founding place for all the new ones as well. The concept was extended to feature length proportions by 2 S.N.L. stalwarts John Belushi and Dan Akroyd, playing the titular brothers Jake and Elwood respectively. The movie opens with Jake Blues getting released from a prison stretch and upon his return to civilised society he’s found that things have changed, his band dissolved and Elwood’s traded in the old “Blues-mobile” Cadillac for a ex-police dodge (Elwood justifies the new bluesmobile by jumping over a bridge) and the orphanage where he and Elwood were raised is about to seized in 11 days due to unpaid taxes. Suddenly the Blues Brothers are “on a mission from God” and decide to resurrect their old band to pay the $5000 required to save the orphanage. During the course of their holy crusade they have to fight time, the police, scorned lovers and Illinois Nazis to save their childhood home, culminating at the Palace Hotel Ballroom with a giant crowd, unfortunately some of them are representatives of Illinois’ law enforcement community tracking the brothers down for Classic of the Week their trail of destruction. The film successfully melds it’s musical concept with a solid comedy base – The musical interludes hardly ever resort to everyone dropping everything and bursting into song (Aretha Franklin does, but that’s about it and she’s probably allowed to), they’re more worked into the brothers quest as they try and regroup their band and return it to their former glory. Most importantly its not just Jake & Elwood doing the musical duties, there’s a veritable cavalcade of musical stars abound. I’ve already mention Aretha Franklin, but other recognisable names are James Brown, John Lee Hooker and Ray Charles (There’s also Cameos by John Candy and Steven Spielberg, but thankfully they don’t sing). The comedy on show is top notch as well, the film is littered with choice moments including Jake offering to buy a family (I want to buy your women...the little girl...your daughters. Sell them to me. Sell me your children!), their painful reunion with ‘The Penguin’, the brother’s general dead pan attitude to explosions, authority figures and everything else that stands in their way and not forgetting their eminently quotable banter. In addition to this comedy element – things get blown up! My initially fearful introduction can be rebuked as buildings are blown up and an unfeasibly large amount of destruction is brought down upon a Mall too. Although it’s probably the quality tunes and the brothers classic monochrome style that has successfully ensured the film as a classic. The soundtrack to the film is outstanding and when you hear the brass of Henry Mancini’s Peter Gunn theme start to play you know that things are going to be good. [email protected] 13 November 2003 15 FILM Extra Terrestrial - The Week Ahead Some of you may not be that pleased to hear that I’ve found another film on this week with Christopher Walken in it. There’s a heap of big name films on this week. Well, almost a heap anyway. From special effect flicks to biopics, there should be something for all and sundry on this week. It should be worth the effort of staying up for some of the later films too. BY NEIL BOULTON FILM EDITOR BBC2 | 1:00am – 3:00am Ed Wood | There are too many good films on this Saturday… This one’s worth staying up for though, it’s Tim Burton’s nice little biopic of Edward D Wood Jr. a man believed to posses the title of ‘The worst director of all time’ Manof-the-moment Johnny Depp plays the titular director as the film takes you through his career. There’s also an Oscar winning turn from Martin Landau as an ageing Bela Lugosi. Monday 17th November 2003 Five | 9:00pm – 11:10am A Perfect Murder | This film’s a newer version of Alfred Hitchcock’s 50’s film Dial M For Murder. Michael Douglas plays the husband on the brink of bankruptcy who wants to have his rich young wife killed, so he can get his mitts on her money. But he doesn’t know that she’s having an affair with the man he asks to do the dirty deed. Channel 4 | 10:40pm – 1:05am Thelma And Louise | Ridley Scott’s famous road movie – Two women find themselves on the run from the law after their weekend break goes sour. Their initial idea of skipping out on their dull relationships and dead-end lives takes a tumble after Thelma is attacked and they’re chased by the law across the southern states after they take the law into their own hands. Tuesday 18th November 2003 Thursday 13th November Five | 10:10pm – 12:25am Hollow Man | Paul Verhoven’s new spin (Well, from 2000) on the invisible man premise, Kevin bacon plays the scientist turned transparent by his research team working underground. All is well until, unfortunately, his transcendence to translucency affects his mind a tad and the rest of his research team find themselves in grave danger. BBC1 | 12:25am – 1:50am The Big Bus | I know little-to-nothing about this film but it looks really interesting… It’s described as a spoof disaster film where a giant luxury nuclear-powered bus dubbed ‘The Cyclops’ goes out of control. Although unbeknownst to the passengers a group of terrorists is set to blow it up in the name of big oil. Sounds like a laugh. Friday 14th November Five | 9:00pm – 11:55pm The Dirty Dozen | World War II drama about a pack of condemned criminals given a chance at freedom through the military - Offered redemption-in-action they’re turned into a super Nazi busting squadron and are sent deep into occupied France in what appears to be a suicide mission. BBC 2 | 1:20am – 2:55am The Funeral | Another week, another Walken. This time the creepy-looking man himself is in a gangster drama concerning a recently bereaved mob family. The younger brother of Ray Tempio (Walken) wants to seek revenge for the gangland style killing of his younger brother while other relatives plead for him not to seek revenge. BBC1 | 11:45pm 1:45pm Thief | Michael Mann’s directorial debut about a professional thief. So far, so obvious. The film tracks the work of the thief as he realises, after he gets involved with a particularly nasty group of criminals that he can never settle down and lead a normal life as he wishes. Good ol’ James Caan heads the billing as well as the red haired stranger, Willie Nelson. Saturday 15th November 2003 Wednesday 19th November 2003 Channel 4 | 10:05pm – 12:40am Rain Man | The famous drama featuring Tom Cruise as a selfish-type who finds out he’s been disinherited by his family, then finds out the autistic brother Raymond (Dustin Hoffman), he knew nothing about, has been chosen instead. Mr. Cruise kidnaps Mr. Hoffman and due to Raymond’s refusal to fly the pair are forced into a touching road trip across the US. BBC1 | 12:00am 2:00am A Bronx Tale | Robert DeNiro starring/directed Bronx, New York set drama. The film is a look at life in the Bronx during the 60’s and concerns a father’s woe as he’s powerless to stop the decent of his son into the underworld of dangerous crime. Also stars Chaz Palminteri (Him from the Vanilla Coke adverts). ITV | 10:50pm 12:35am Austin Powers – International Man Of Mystery | The first of the successful Austin Powers spy spoof movies, you may not believe this, but this is the best one and the other two pale in comparison. It has something more to it than it’s hollow follow-ups. Anyway, funny stuff with Mike Myers playing the thawed out 60’s spy and his arch-nemesis. Film Quote Quiz Friday 14th November Thursday 20th November 2003 by Neil Boulton Standard quiz rules as ever – name the film each of these possibly memorable snippets were cropped from and get yourself a point. If you’re feeling extra smart you can name the character that said the utterance, for a much sought after bonus point. Although you won’t actually win anything (despite points meaning prizes), you can feel smug in the knowledge you knew the answers. 1. We’re not worthy! 2. Name’s Smalls. Leonard Smalls. My friends call me Lenny...only I ain’t got no friends. 3. He died in a tragic gardening accident.. Authorities said... it’s best to leave it... unsolved. 4. I’m just a mean green mother from outer space and I’m bad! 5. Never rub another man’s rhubarb. 6. Don’t touch that!...That’s my lunch! 7. You didn’t get me down, Ray. 8. And to think that in some countries these dogs are eaten. 9. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. 10. I kick arse for the lord! Answers on page 21, along with the other Interactive ones, under Rawson’s Creek THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS (15) [2hr 9min] (FLS) Fri & Sat 12.45, 13.40, 14.40, 16.00, 18.00, 19.30, 20.15, 21.15 Saturday 11.20 Sun-Thu 12.20, 13.20, 14.00, 15.30, 16.45, 17.20, 19.30, 20.00, 20.40 IN AMERICA (15) [1hr 46min] (FLS) Daily 12.55, 15.35, 18.05, 20.45 FINDING NEMO (U) [1hr 44min] Fri & Sat 12.15, 13.35, 15.00, 16.20, 17.45 Saturday 11.00 Sun-Thu 12.15, 15.00, 17.45 Sun-Tue 13.35, 16.20 Sunday 11.00 Thursday only 18.05 INTOLERABLE CRUELTY Fri & Sat 14.00, 16.45, 19.10, 21.35 Sun-Thu 12.55, 15.20, 17.50, 20.15 KILL BILL VOLUME 1 (18) [1hr 51min] Fri & Sat 13.45, 16.25, 19.05, 21.40 Sun-Wed 13.00, 15.40, 18.15, 20.50 SEABISCUIT (PG) [2hr 21min] Fri & Sat 14.20, 17.25, 20.30 Sun-Wed 14.20, 17.25, 20.30 Thursday only 20.30 CALENDAR GIRLS (12A) [1hr 48min] Daily 20.25 Sunday 18.50 THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (18) [1hr 38min] Fri & Sat 19.15 21.50 Sun-Wed 19.00, 21.20 HOLES (PG) [1hr 57min] Fri-Wed 11.45 THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN (12A) [1hr 50min] Daily 11.45 SECONDHAND LIONS (PG) [1hr 49min] Saturday 11.15 Sunday 11.10 LOVE ACTUALLY (15) [2hr 15min] (FLS) Advanced Screenings Sunday 20.15, 20.45 Thursday 12.10, 15.00, 17.20, 17.50, 20.15, 20.45 THE ELF (PG) [1hr 42min] (FLS) Advanced Screening Saturday & Sunday 12.25, 14.35, 16.50 To book tickets online, visit odeon.co.uk Literature 16 LITERATURE 13 November 2003 The Fellowship Of The Ring Literature Editor Jennifer Walker enters the world of J.R.R. Tolkien, and explores the famous quest of Frodo and the Fellowship as they journey to destroy the Ring of Power, and defeat the spirit of Sauron. The Lord of the Rings trilogy perhaps goes down as one of the most influential book on modern fantasy literature; possibly one of the most popular books around the planet. The first of the “rings” trilogy is the Fellowship of the ring; intended as a follow up to his first book The Hobbit; the fellowship begins in The Shire, where Tolkein introduces us to some new Hobbits: Frodo Baggins (the nephew of Bilbo – the hero from The Hobbit), Samwise Gamgee (Frodo’s friend and gardener), and his retarded cousins Merry and Pippin. However after Bilbo secretly leaves the Shire, leaving the ring in Frodo’s possession, the wizard Gandalf discovers the sinister secret of the identity of the ring, and sends Frodo on a quest to destroy it. This out of the three books story wise in my opinion this is the best, there is something enticing about the adventures through the Mines of Moria and the enchanted forest of Lothlorien; and not to mention the horror of their persute from the Black Riders, however as a book it takes a while to get going. Tolkein takes time to describe the characters in detail, along with detailing their actions and the locations they pass through, he also spends a lot of the time giving “historical” details of Middle Earth in the book. This is not necessarily a bad thing as it adds the feel of realism to a book which although the whole setting is so fantastical; however the majority of information given in the book has no relevance to the actual story, and this could get frustrating at times. In the first book, the beginning seemingly is padded out with smaller stories, for example the house of Tom Bombadil and the barrow downs (the willow tree can be argued as being irrelevant, but it does give an introduction to the Ents). These do not really have any relevance to the actual quest, but some people like it for adding more depth to the book, but the majority find it frustrating and just want to get on with the plot. But the story kicks back off again when the company reach the “Prancing Pony” in Bree, and the quest begins to get darker and more sinister. The black riders are pursuing them relentlessly now, knowing that the ring bearer is near, so Frodo begins to feel the danger. After taking on the company The Lamb William Blake Little Lamb, who made thee? Dost thou know who made thee? Gave thee life, and bid thee feed By the stream and o’er the mead; Gave thee clothing of delight, Softest clothing, woolly, bright; Gave thee such a tender voice, Making all the vales rejoice? Little Lamb, who made thee? Dost thou know who made thee? Little Lamb, I’ll tell thee, Little Lamb, I’ll tell thee: He is called by thy name, For he calls himself a Lamb. He is meek, and he is mild; He became a little child. I a child, and thou a lamb. We are called by his name. Little Lamb, God bless thee! Little Lamb, God bless thee! of Strider (later known as Aragorn) they continue on their journey to Rivendell, where the Fellowship of the Ring is formed, and the quest begins to destroy the ring. The journey will entice you as the different places that Tolkein takes you are either so magical or horrifying, you cannot help but feel addicted to his world once you are deep into the story, whether it be the tranquillity of Rivendell, the dark and gloomy mines of Moria, or the beautiful yet sinister Lothlorien. There is a bit of everything in this book; adventure, action, magic, and friendship. The is even a subtle undertone of a love story between Aragorn and Arwen (although Arwen’s doesn’t actually appear in the books until the last one), but Tolkein hints at their love and loyalty to each other, which gives Aragorn more depth as a character. The main character in all the books has to be the ring itself; and its influence over the main characters. The ring promises power to all who yield it, however it is the ring itself that holds power over the bearer, it tempts, seduces all who go near it with promises of power, but causes them to be driven mad by its power. Boromir, a man from Gondor becomes obsessed with the ring, he desires it as he believes it can be used as a weapon against the enemy and protect his country, however he is weak and the ring takes over his mind and he tries to rob Frodo, however in doing so Frodo realises he cannot trust anybody and leaves the fellowship to continue the journey alone. The Lord Of The Rings is undoubtedly a classic, it defined everything we associate with fantasy fiction and film, and definitely one of the most influential books of the 20th century. Despite it being slow to start with, and having a lot of descriptions and background put into it, it is what gives the book its epic status. Tolkein builds up the book slowly, developing the characters and introducing his world to us, but the wait is definitely worth it as it is a book that everyone has to read. Delve into Tolkein’s enchanting world of hobbits, dwarves, elves and orcs and be drawn into Tolkein’s fantastical yet almost real world. “To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.” Fancy yourself being the next Oscar Wilde (without the jail time)? Get in touch with our Literature Editor, Jennifer Walker, if you would like to write reviews/articles/anything literature-ey: [email protected] 13 November 2003 THEATRE 17 theatrereviews CATS heads to Woking Theatre Daisy Clay and Natalie Cotton review the famous West End production of CATS as it comes to Woking Theatre. After 21 years in the West End, the world’s longest running record-breaking musical Cats needs little introduction to most. Immensely curious to finally see this notorious musical, I hoped to discover the ‘magic’ behind it’s success. Composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber and based on T.S. Elliot’s Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats, the audience are swept away into the secret and mysterious world of the Jellicle cats who have gathered together for one special night of the year. It is on this night that the cats celebrate who they are, before the night’s grand finale where the renowned wise Old Deuteronomy is to choose which one of the Jellicles will be ‘reborn’ into a new life.. The production was not simply limited to the stage, rather the auditorium became an extension of the cats’ playground, with cats sporadically leaping into the audience from time to time. The auditorium itself was decorated brightly with fairy lights helping to enhance this magical atmosphere. The cats, from tabbies to ginger to Burmese and Siamese, are initially curious creatures, reluctant to allow the audience into their world. What then generates the magic is the allowance of the audience into a mysterious world, where the cats reveal their secret lives, which are in many ways portrayed as similar to those of humans. The stories told show the Jellicles pride for who they are, and the song The Naming of the Cats explains the three different established names of cats: one used daily by the family, a more dignified name and a secret name. It is thinking about these secret names which purportedly keeps felines engaged in thought evident in their often aloof manner. As the cats dance around a larger-than-life junkyard they move so gracefully that the audience could easily forget these heavily costumed and made-up cast are in fact merely human, and not part-feline. The time and effort put into the costumes really shows, where every actor, adorned with fur and heavily disguised with make-up, becomes one with their own individual cat suit. Cats is unlike most mainstream musicals, in that there is very limited plot (aside from a brief kidnap, the rejection of an estranged cat, and the rebirth of that same cat). The production aims to portray the diversity and human-like nature of cats, so primarily spends its time introducing us to an array of different cats, each with very different lives and personalities. It is only when the audience considers that this is the purpose of the play that they can truly appreciate its qualities. Searching for a deep and meaningful plot is certainly not worth doing so, rather it is necessary to examine each cat and their character, and to then see that for all their unique qualities and differences, as Old Deuteronomy concludes, “cats are very much like you”. Of all the cats presented to the audience, there are several which left lasting impressions. A favourite must be the tigerlike cat Rum Tug Tugger (Stuart Ramsey) who, with his skin-tight cat suit and flowing mane, emanates sex appeal, winning the affections of not just the on-stage kitties! Contrastingly is the entrance of Grizabella, the glamour cat, who is overlooked by the rest of the cats despite being a Jellicle because she left the group years ago but now returns seeking forgiveness. It is Grizabella (Chrissie Hammond) who sings THAT song which many of us can probably sing backwards – the poignant and emotive Memories. Although having to wait until near the end of the first act to hear this song, once Memories is sung for the first time it then features more heavily, much to the audience’s delight. The return of Grizabella, although unpopular, is still more welcome than that of Macavity, a mischievous and villainous cat, who is on the loose! The cats vanish from site leaving the audience guessing what will happen next. Giggling heard from the distance introduces the audience to Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer (Tom Dwyer and Katy-Jo Howman), two prankster fun-loving cats, who may remind many of their own cats when they were playful frolicking kittens causing chaos. Lastly, but by no means least, a mention must be provided for the Magical Mr Mistoffelees (Guy-Paul Ruolt de St Germain), who wowed the audience with a pirouette that seemed to last forever, until we were sure that at any moment balance would be lost and he would topple over. However, this was not the case, and the pirouette ended stylishly only to continue into a sequence of summersaults. The cast of Cats truly put every ounce of effort into their performances, and the sensational movement and choreography combined with numerous songs that will stay in your head for weeks after seeing the shows this is once worth going to see. Although, as previously explained, the importance lies with the personification of the cats, so don’t search for a deep and meaningful plot, just sit back and enjoy the show for what it is – an amazing display of vocals, dance and acrobatics. The production continues at the New Victoria until Saturday 22nd November. Taking Sides - by Ronald Harwood BY LAURA BIRCH Taking Sides gives little indication in its title to the content of the play, which in my case was a good thing; had I previously known the play was based on the aftermath of the war and an interrogation of a German composer I would have been a little dubious about seeing it. However, I went with an open mind. The set immediately created a post-war impression through its simplistic worn down office, broken windows, rubble and split sandbags, all of which had a great impact on creating a historical atmosphere. The cast consisted of six actors. The main characters were Major Steve Arnold played by Neil Pearson, an American interrogation officer and Wilhelm Furtwangler played by Julian Glover, a great composer in Germany during the nazi era. The play focuses on the interrogation of Furtwangler conducted by Arnold and demonstrates the composing views of the issues regarding the Germans who stayed in Germany during Hitler’s reign. Both main actors played their part extremely well, although it was Pearsons Arnold that won my vote. The character was humorous and cynical and as he said himself, “totally uncultured” which made him a lighter and more likeable character in the play although ironically, in theory he was the callous interrogator. Neil Pearson has previously appeared in many theatre productions, as well as appearing in television programmes and films such as ‘Between the Lines’, ‘Murder in Mind’, ‘Fever Pitch’, and ‘Bridget Jones’ Diary’. Julian Glover has also starred in numerous productions across the country including ‘Macbeth’, ‘King Lear’, ‘Romeo and Juliet’, and ‘Much Ado about Nothing’. He has also acted greatly in both films and on television, with performances including ‘Harry Potter – The Chamber of Secrets’, ‘The Secret Garden’, ‘Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back’, ‘Lovejoy’ and ‘Midsummer Murders’, as well as many others. Taking Sides is not a play to watch if wanting a lighthearted production. Although a number of humorous lines are delivered through Arnold, the play has a meaningful and deep concept and the actors play their parts with such emotion it is difficult not to be compelled to feel Harwood’s motives and to overlook a lot of the humour. It questions whether art and politics can be kept separate during times such as Hitler’s reign. Through the characters of Arnold and Furtwangler we are left to decide our beliefs. Did Furtwangler and others like him stay in Germany because of their patriotism for their country and love of music or as Arnold says, because they were frightened? barefacts | Fridays | 5pm 18 MUSIC CHIKINKI ASSASINATOR 13 Island/Universal The track starts off sounding very now, some uncomplicated guitar starts things off then the vocals enter and everythings right with the world, until the wildly unsubtle midi-sounding bass kicks in. It could be the mixing, but this was mixed by Alan Moulder so, Im not sure thats the problem. The whole guitars and keyboards idea sounds great on paper; maybe if the song had some drums it wouldve been a different story. n.b. EASTERN LANE FEED YOUR ADDICTION Rough Trade Eastern Lane are one of NME’s tipped British bands for 2004. It’s not hard to see why. This excellent piece of angular garage rock sounds like a combination of a slightly funkier Strokes, with The Libertines’ Carl Barât and The Pixies’ Frank Black sharing vocal duties. The sound given out by these guys makes it hard to believe that they are all aged 18 and under, especially after listening to the sincere and gentle Lily of the Morning, found on the b-side. Keep an eye out for these guys – if there is any justice in the world they’ll be huge. j.a. THE COOPER TEMPLE CLAUSE BLIND PILOTS Morning TCTC are back with some more electronic-tinged rock, albeit rather more sedate than their earlier songs. Its still solid stuff though; the electronics take a sort of background role now with the more traditional song elements taking centre stage. They sound a lot like an anglicised version of Grandaddy, whether this is a criticism or a compliment is probably down to personal opinion. I wouldve liked something more lively but its still a great track. n.b. THURSDAY Signals Over The Air Mercury/Island Thursday seem to have been caught up in the recent rock trend of bands involved with the prefix ‘emo-‘, so melodic emotional rock is one the cards. They carry it off well enough, although there’s nothing about the song to separate, or even differentiate it from all the other bands shifting units in the genre. As this is from their 3rd album they’ve probably already built up quite a following to not make this an issue. n.b. BLINK 182 FEELING THIS Universal Island THE VEILS LAVINIA Rough Trade Blink have returned and they appear to want to take things seriously, and they appear to have gone seriously bad. Obviously having matured slightly from their first two albums this first single off their fourth opus is dull, whiny and generally quite poor. This is a band crying out for attention and have tried to change with the times to do it. p.w. Ok, so it doesn’t really get you in that happy kind of mood, more a state of contemplation. Its soaring mellow, indie rock along the lines of Starsailor and Travis. The gravely vocals swing up and down in a mournful tone, and compliment the easy rolling symphony in the background. Its pleasant enough, but the guys could do with having a bit more enthusiasm about life and their music. dm ** HAPPYLIFE BREATHE FOR ME Albert Productions This band’s name is a bit misleading, they don’t sound that happy really – At the heart of it they sound gratuitously like Placebo with some random drum machine interludes thrown in. The B-side Stand Up sees them move away from the Placebo leanings and more towards a standard melodic rock sound. There’s a video for the title track on the CD too, traffic, schools and a dominatrix. Doesn’t feel very different from anything before but competent enough. daniel beddingfield performing live s e l g n si 13 November 2003 KING ADORA DRAG Discovery Records RADIOHEAD 2+2=5 EMI King Adora return with their new single Drag, as a follow up to their chart bothering single (Born to Lose/Kamikaze) of the spring. Drag is a piece of repetitive light rock. Its not particularly original or good for that matter but is quite easily listening. Overplay of this song would lead to having to submit yourself into a mental institute. p.w. These Oxford lads have evidently forgotten how to add up! 2+2=5 off this years Hail To The Thief will undoubtedly not set the dance floor alight but here they show all the whiney and unhealthy aggression we have become accustomed and for that they have to be admired. Regenerating a sound more reminiscent of their early days Radiohead have progressed into one of the most innovative bands around. m.b. BUSTED CRASHED THE WEDDING EMI Busted are back! Amazingly, these boys are the second biggest selling band of this year (behind Coldplay), and this is their first single off the new album. On first listen this is bog standard Green Day/Blink 182 pop, with Charlie (the one with two enormous caterpillars above his eyes) and friends telling us how he stopped his true love getting hitched to the wrong guy. However, the more I listen to it the more I realise that not only can I not get this song out of my head, but it brings both a smile to my face and an air guitar to my hands! I don’t care what you think – this is great pop! m.f Tahiti 80 1,000 Times Atmospheriques 1,000 Times, from the album ‘Wallpaper for the Soul’, is a summery guitars-going-on-jazz almost dance piece full of strings and melodies and similar things that make you think of fields, breezes and sunshine. Maybe it’s misplaced being released in the onset of winter, or maybe it’s destined to alleviate the winter blues. If it takes off it’s destined to become a coffee table classic. Pleasant. n.b. s m u lb a 19 MUSIC 13 November 2003 VARIOUS ARTISTS DESERT SESSIONS 9 & 10 Board Stiff Music ANDREW W.K. THE WOLF Mercury/Island “You cannot kill the party!” Andrew W.K. has defiantly returned with The Wolf and a slight shift in ideas, this time around - The guitars aren’t as dominating and Andrew’s piano work is brought to the front a bit more. Lyrically the album starts off teaching us to believe in the party, but as the album continues we’re taught to believe in ourselves as well. Stand out tracks are the 2 returnto-the-fold openers ‘Long Live The Party’ and ‘Tear It Up’ along with others like ‘The Song’ and not-as-stupid-as-you’d-think ‘Totally Stupid’. The album isn’t as fast as the last, though many of the songs on The Wolf would still be excellent with an increase in tempo and a bit of the last album’s immaturity wouldn’t’ have gone amiss. n.b. MARK OWEN IN YOUR OWN TIME Universal Island MUSHROOMHEAD XIII Universal Island Having achieved stellar stardom in Take That as a young boy, Mark Owen has returned with a dose of indie pop for the charts. From album opener and first single (Four Minute Warning) it appears that he may well have been listening to Ronan Keating while he has been away from the mainstream music scene. The second single Alone Without You is written entirely by Mark himself. In Your Own Time shows he has potential but is no better or worse than any other ex-boyband solo release, an average dose of indie pop. p.w. Mushroomheads new album XIII sees the band grow from previous album XX into a much stronger force in the world of nu-metal. With songs ranging from all out screamers like opener Kill Tomorrow to the nihilistic Destroy the World Around Me. Standout tracks include Sun Doesnt Rise and Nowhere To Go. The first of which is a mid-tempo song produced by Johnny K and the second is a dramatic and melodic track also produced by Johnny K. This album is good but it doesnt grab you instantly but with the wide ranging varieties of songs there are some standout tracks but also some not so good ones, and it is a surprise to fine two incredibly long songs one over 8 minutes and the other over 9. XIII is shows Mushroomhead grow into a more formidable force in the nu-metal world. p.w. SEVENDUST SEASONS TVT / Island The distinctive vocals that have such a harsh edge when brought to its shouting climax and then gently slip into a beautiful melody are what makes this band easier to listen to than some of its heavier rock counterparts. The rough vocals point out the details in each verse and then reaffirm the essence of each song in a harmonic chorus. Dealing mainly with life and how the travelled path they have taken has not been an easy one. They may have fallen from the world but have not forgotten how to make a worthwhile heavy rock album. This wont be everyone’s taste, but if you enjoyed any of their previous albums or are looking for something catchy with a heavy yet melodic tune then this is a must. d.m. Every year, Queens of the Stone Age’s Josh Homme and a group of fellow musicians disappear to a ranch in the desert, jam for a week, and finally come out with an album. This year he has been joined by such luminaries as PJ Harvey and Twiggy Ramirez amongst others. The resulting album sounds partly like the Queens’ superb alt.rock, but also has quite a proggy feel about it. The presence of PJ Harvey on many of the tracks provides an extra dimension, especially on the haunting There Will Never Be a Better Time and the raw punk edge that she brings to Crawl Home. Several tracks from Desert sessions have ended up on QOTSA albums (Monsters in the Parasol, Hanging Tree) and that’s exactly where I can see the superb In My Head…Or Something heading. OK, so it’s quite a difficult album, but persevere with it and you will find fantastic riches within! j.a. LAMB BETWEEN DARKNESS AND WONDER Mercury Records SUGARBABES THREE Island The title of this album says it all really. Lamb’s fourth is much more of an exploration of their darker side, as opposed to the slightly mellower and more melodic previous album, What Sound. However, current single Wonder is a fantastic piece of ambient, orchestral melodic beauty which, followed by the tribal rhythms of Sun, forms the stand out duo of tracks. The album in general is very simplistic – various uncomplicated beats and melodies accompanied by the usual glorious vocals, with the simplicity partly highlighted by the titles (also including Learn, Please and Darkness). Disregarding the gorgeous tunes, it’s not particularly groundbreaking, but this is certainly one for the fans. j.a. Well if you haven’t heard the first single off this album, Hole in the Head, you must be living in the quit area of the library. They have found a winning formula that traps the chorus of their songs in your head for hours on end, even if you don’t admit to it. These girls have always had that edgy pop appeal and this album sticks with it. Mutya, Heidi and Keisha have co-written all but one song and brought in some help from the likes of Linda Perry on Nasty Ghetto, who did wonders for Pinks career. It’s a funky mixing of hip hop, the bounce of pop and the guitars of rock, which makes for an enjoyable listening experience. d.m. Who’s in Your Top 5?! A 22-20s T u e s 4 @ t h London ULU N o v e m b e r It’s not very often you see a gig where both the support bands have longer sets than the headliners. But then tonight, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Opening band The Duke Spirit reminded of the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s, with the female vocalist exuding pure sexuality. They were then followed by Dogs Die in Hot Cars’ funky ska guitar lines, plus the original edge provided by the singer’s voice, sounding very much like Duran Duran’s Nick Rhodes. Then came the 22-20s, the closest thing that we have to The White Stripes on this side of the Atlantic, although their excellent brand of frantic, sludgy blues only contains half an hour of material at the moment. They finished with the stand-out track Devil In Me, an almost riot-inducing lump of steaming blues-rock containing depraved yelping vocals of which Jack White himself would be proud. After a rather short acoustic encore they were gone, leaving the audience screaming for more. These guys certainly know how to keep their fans keen, and they are definitely a band for the future. j.a. s the end of another year draws near we ask what where the best albums, singles of the year etc may it be Janes Addiction, The darkness or Mark Owen let us know. With your assistance and the outrageous views of the music team, the results of the poll will be announced in the last issue of the year. Don’t want The Cheeky Girls at Number one? Then vote now with one lucky entrant winning some lovely music goodies. Top five Best albums of the year, Best five singles of the year, Best band, Best Live Act, Best new band and Cock(s) of the year. Email entries to [email protected] by Monday 17th November. This week’s music section is brought to you by: Matt Badcock, Jon Allen, Dina Mystris, Matt Fisher, Pete Wigfield and Neil ‘Tree’ Boulton. 20 INTERACTIVE 13 November 2003 Guess The Mr Men We here at Interactive Section HQ have come up with something rather different this week - guess the Mr Men! It’s really very simple, and doesn’t need much explanation - all you need to do is rack your brains, take yourself right back to your childhood, and find out the names of each of the Mr Men on the left. returns Matt Adams is back, though the opinion of the barefacts team seems to be that it’s not quite so hard this week. Apparently this was inspired by Rawson’s Creek a few weeks ago - and you can’t get higher in flattery than inspiring Eye Spy in barefacts. The Interactive page is positively buzzing this semester, and we’re always looking for more ideas, so if you’ve got any thoughts at all on what you’d like to see on this page, all you need to do is email them across to [email protected]. We don’t bite, and really want to hear what everyone thinks, so, what’re you waiting for?! Oh yes, and all credit for the Mr Man concept, and quiz, to the one and only, Matt Adams. Word Search The Matrix Got 20 vaguely connected words swimming round your head? [email protected]. ... email [email protected] bfpub quiz 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Who was the legendry son of Uther Pendragon? Which classical composer wrote ‘Die Fledermaus’? In which country is Montego bay? What is a tsunami? N J J S G E G P F H H F U P Q I A T S L P M E U O B U K V P T O I C O L E R T S A O E D I P P A G E N T S M I T H Y A W E R F J N T I E U S R H M Y V O Y B W U I I P O E O Y A V K S W T U V O V H Z L H J K Y E L H A I H E G O C X L P E B S K Y N C N N D N R R D D R C U I Z K R H I N E H E A R T O O Z H W N T O R U Q H M B S S M W U F A D B W T Q P G C P R U T U U Y Z E R S W I T C H K D T K F R B F W H K C O P A X O L F W W V P J Z V I U N A W E The answers to this week’s wordsearch are at the bottom of page 21, underneath Rawson’s Creek. Is a sea cucumber animal, vegetable or mineral? By Ben Berryman This week’s barefacts sees Neil Christie as our guest wordsearch creator. In keeping with the theme everyone seems to be talking about this week, all the words are related to . All you have to do is find all 20 words, and then check them out with the answers at the bottom of the opposite page. And if you find more than 20? Well then, you’re an official barefacts genius. Let us know what you think of the Interactive Page... About A bout which conflict did Winston Churchill say: ‘Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few’? What is the longest river in France? Which Latin word means ‘the water bearer’? In rugby, the Calcutta cup is competed for by which two countries? According to legend, Cleopatra committed suicide by holding what kind of snake to her body? Upsidedown answers to everything in the Interactive section, are at the bottom of page 21 If you feel in the mood for a Chancellor’s Challenge, Chancellor’s [bar and] Restaurant at 8.30pm every Thursday night. Pit your wits against a variety of the top quiz mastery brains around... 21 LIFESTYLE 13 November 2003 The lyrics Quiz Sabbatical Officers Ickle Sarah and Funkyberry give a random slice of life from their humble dwellings within Surrey Court Wey, Battersea Court Tate, and the Students’ Union... A COUPLE OF hours ago Chris asked me what I was planning on writing Rawson’s about this week [yes, he’s getting his in before me these days – miracles will never cease]! After a bit of thought, I replied that I was going to have a rant. I don’t rant very often, but when I do it’s normally something related to fees or student loans – the bane of many of our lives. HAVING graduated in June, today was the day I’ve been dreading ever since the first day of my last term at University when just over a grand landed in my bank account, for the last time in four years. Yup, in the post this morning [forwarded onto the Union by my wonderful mother], I received the piece of paper telling me how much the final amount I owe on my student loan is. Without going into too much detail, I owe quite a lot of thousands of pounds, having been a full time student for four years. I’D always expected something along those lines, but it was the “ooh, we’ve put up your interest rate from 1.3% to 3.1% that I wasn’t quite expecting. Inside the handy “when you pay back your student loan” booklet, it informed me that I won’t be paying anything back until I’m on a salary of around £12,000, and even then it’ll only be £15 a month. That’s too bad, I hear you cry... until you see the £35 in interest that’s added to my debt every month! Crazy stuff! So, apparently I have to be on almost £15,000 to even keep the amount I owe exactly the same as now. I don’t think the full extent of owing this amount of money has hit me until now, and it scares me. I’m still going to be in debt by the time my children are heading to Uni! NOW back to a bit of normal Rawson’s Creekiness. On Friday I headed to Salisbury for a fireworks display with Ben. It was at the MoD, so according to Ben, “they can blow lots of things up there, and it doesn’t matter!” And blow things up they did. It was a pretty windy night, so the fireworks were going off directly above our heads, despite being launched from a field in front of us. It didn’t worry me too much until a stray rocket hit the ground not far from us, and I started to notice bits of firework hitting the ground, before exploding into a shower of sparks. Still, Ben assured me there were lots of pyrotechnics experts around, so I had nothing to worry about.... I hope! I REALLY DO think that my greatest inspiration comes when sitting on the toilet. I won’t mention any other juices, but the creative ones do seem to have a habit of flowing more than freely. For example I usually have to plan about what I shall write for Rawson’s Creek, but tonight it was all sorted in an instant. THE first subject is kinda related, and is to do with the search for a location in which it is socially acceptable to pass excess human gaseous waste (more commonly called “farting”). There are of course places where it is totally un-acceptable to release, e.g. anywhere within a 5 mile radius in less than 10knots of wind from any female standing upwind of you (don’t try it – they know!); in front of your mother (yes mothers are female, but you won’t generally date them); on someone’s head while sleeping; in lifts; and school assemblies. DURING my childhood and teenage years it seemed the only place acceptable to release was in the gents, but this just isn’t true. A number of times now I have released in a gents to get tuts from other people in there, and even shaking of heads! Well where on earth can I do it then?!?! THE next subject is something totally un-related, and I found the pleasure of last night. This is something that everyone can do with just the use of your hands, and gives a lovely warm feeling that leaves your body tingling. What you have to do is this: 1. Go into your kitchen and empty any un-evolved washing up from the washing up bowl. 2. Run the hot tap to get about 3 inches deep of water, as hot as you can bear. 3. Take long slow deep breaths and slowly lower your hands into the water YOU will start to feel a fuzzy feeling in your tummy and around your back. If you don’t then the water is either too cold (in which case empty all the water out and start again), or too hot (if too hot then don’t move your hands and wait for the feeling to descend on you as the water cools). Once you have your hands in the water, do not move them until you feel kinda used to the fuzzy feeling. Now move them and slosh the water a bit, and it will refresh the fuzzy feeling. You will now have found a relaxed state of mind, although anyone that sees you will probably think you have lost your mind! ‘ickle sarah butterworth chris ‘funkyberry’ hunter quote quiz: 1. Wayne’s World (Wayne Campbell & Garth Algar) | 2. Raising Arizona (Leonard Smalls… duh…) | 3. This Is Spinal Tap (David St. Hubbins) | 4. Little Shop Of Horrors (Audrey II) | 5. Batman (The Joker) | 6. Goldfinger (Q) | 7. Raging Bull (Jake LaMotta) | 8. Best In Show (Buck Laughlin) | 9. Pulp Fiction (Captain Koons) 10. Braindead (Father McGruder) | mr men & little miss: 1. Mr. Bounce, 2. Mr. Daydream, 3. Mr. Bump, 4. Mr. Clever, 5. Mr. Happy, 6. Mr. Lazy, 7. Mr. Messy, 8. Little Miss Naughty, 9. Mr. Funny, 10. Mr. Jelly, 11. Mr. Nosey, 12. Mr. Tickle | wordsearch: agentsmith, apoc, architect, choi, cipher, dozer, ghost, keymaker, merovingian, morpheus, mouse, neo, niobe, oracle, persephone, rhineheart, switch, tank, trinity, wachowski | bf pub quiz: 1. Arthur, 2. Johann Strauss, 3. Jamaica, 4. A tidal wave, 5. Animal, it is a marine invertebrate, 6. Battle of Britain, 7. Loire, 8. Aquarius, 9. England and Scotland, 10. Asp | lyrics quiz: 1. Toto – Africa, 2. Wham/George Michael – Careless Whisper, 3. The Bangles – Eternal Flame, 4. Tracy Chapman – Fast Car, 5. Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney – The Girl is Mine, 6. Cutting Crew – (I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight, 7. Culture Club – Karma Chameleon, 8. Chris de Burgh – Lady in Red, 9. Madness – Our House, 10. Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse of the Heart eye spy answer | week 9 | yorkie’s bridge Wow, are your eyes deceiving you? No, they certainly do not - the Vice President Communications and Marketing and barefacts’ Editor in Chief, Sarah Butterworth, has actually dragged herself away from the wonders of laying up this ‘ere paper until 4am and endeavours to provide you with this week’s classic lyrics quiz. It’s along an 80s theme, as afterall, most of us are all 80s babies in theory, if not at heart.... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 I hear the drums echoing tonight, but she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation I feel so unsure as I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor A whole life so lonely, and then you come and ease the pain You see my old man’s got a problem, he lives with the bottle that’s the way it is I don’t understand the way you think, saying that she’s yours not mine It must’ve been some kind of kiss, I should’ve walked away, I should’ve walked away Loving would be easy if your colours were like my dream When you turned to me and smiled, it took my breath away Father wears his Sunday best, Mother’s tired she needs a rest Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I’m lying like a child in your arms This week I am mostly … single-handedly keeping Elastoplast in business as I keep tripping over my own feet! Two things happen when there’s a Full Moon. Firstly, men are even more difficult to fathom than usual [don’t worry there’s no way near enough column inches here for me to tackle that thorny subject] and secondly, I get more clumsy than usual. Hard to believe, considering how spatially unaware I am at the best of times - honestly, it’s a wonder I make it through these monthly lunar phases, I’m an absolute liability. Yesterday was a particularly bad day – after slicing through my nail with a sharp kitchen knife, treading on a upturned plug and sitting on a drawing pin, I then proceeded to iron the back of my hand. Don’t ask me how one irons the back of one’s hand, I just did, ok? I toyed with the idea of staying in my room today [that would show those malicious household appliances] but after careful consideration, I realised that wouldn’t actually solve the problem. Even my bedroom is a minefield of knocks and bangs as I ricochet from one piece of furniture to another. You’d think I’d have some idea of their positioning given that I’ve been living here some four months now… no chance. My most recent calamity involved my desk chair – full of good intentions to crack on with that pesky essay, I sat on it… and fell straight through. In retrospect, I was actually lucky to have fallen to the left – had I veered to the right I would have hurtled out my window, rolled down the lean-to and crash-landed in my next-door neighbour’s [incidentally also my lecturer] rhododendron. Now that would have been embarrassing. I guess [continuing with the positive mental attitude here] I provide a constant source of amusement to my friends at least. Last New Year, walking home through the driving rain after a miserable firework display in our local park, my sneaky idea of short-cutting over a mini roundabout more than back-fired when I managed to knock myself out stone-cold on a road sign. I hadn’t even started drinking. I sometimes wonder if my parents dropped me on my head as a child. Might explain a few loose connections – the inability to walk in a straight line, to judge any sort of distance accurately, general common sense… I did put this to my mum once. Her first reaction was shock-horror but once assured I wasn’t threatening to call social services, but was simply matter-of-fact interested, she paused momentarily and replied diplomatically “I know I didn’t drop you dear, how about asking your dad?” Catherine Lee 22 LIFESTYLE silly Stars the Libra Welcome to the jungle - The union will be a danger spot for you this week, as are tall buildings and small children. You may think yourself safe. This is a fallacy, children see you as a target, their sweet innocent faces are mere screens to hide their plans for your downfall. And as for the buildings, they’re another story. Scorpio Jubilation friend! You may have already won! Just return this horoscope in the enclosed envelope and you’ll be entered into our free prize draw to win good luck for the week, or a carriage clock. Winner’s name available on request, the judge’s decision is final, terms and conditions apply. Sagittarius Advice is your thing this week, but you’re not the Dalai Llama, your words may not be the golden edged words of wisdom others seek. You might well be uttering long and arduously on subjects you know nothing about. Capricorn Horny? Well don’t be, dammit! You’re here to learn. Concentrate on the prize or one wintry morning you’ll wake up to find yourself indecently involved with next door’s letter box. Or a polar bear. Given this is Guildford, I’d say letterbox. Remember cheques can and will bounce. Aquarius You’ll be standing in the shower thinking quite a bit this week - fret ye not for cleanliness is next to Godliness. You’ll also be wondering why the water is so damn hot. Check the thermostat - All will be well in your plastic sanitary world. Either that or a callous individual flushed the toilet while you were exfoliating. Pisces Keep watching the skies Small flat discs will be orbiting over your head sometime during the middle of the week. Don’t chase after them, you’ll only hurt yourself, or a small child and you’ll worry passers by. Appearance is everything. Lucky number for the week: J 13 November 2003 by guest psychics: Special and Tree:mendous (doing most of the work, as usual)! Aries Add noodles to 300ml of boiling water. Bring to the boil. Add contents of flavour sachet and reduce heat. Simmer for 4 minutes or until noodles have absorbed the water. Stir occasionally. Remove from heat and serve noodles in their sauce immediately. Why not try adding a dash of soy sauce? Cancer You remember that letter from the screen actor’s guild? What, you don’t?! Err maybe it was meant for Virgo. Anyway, your lucky numbers are 3, 12 and Sandwich. I think its about time I got some new tarot cards, to be honest. Deliverance hides behind the shed. Taurus Do not put that in your pipe and smoke it - No one thought you would. Unlike a small minority of Pisceans this month. The Pisceans will bring false prophecies unto you. Be diligent, you don’t have to feed the world, unwanted house guests however are a different kettle of fish. Leo The moon is in the eighth house and the car has backed over the flower garden, everything is very much in the air and you know it. Sort out your loose ends and don’t give into the saccharine smeared siren song of pastry products. Check your pockets - things are NOT as they seem. Gemini Remember; don’t buy train stations off dogs or irons. Or top hats for that matter or the little old man who runs the social club will mock you. Do you feel like you’re just going around in circles every day? Well, you’re right. Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect £200. Virgo You know full well the washing machine is looking down at you; it’s peering into your soul with the evil eye. Take it out before it gets to those shady figures at the associated press. And before you call my psychic hotline, yes, they know about that indiscretion too. - Barefacts Personals You all know the score - send your personals across to [email protected], with the subject line ‘personals’ if you please, and as if by magic they’ll pop up in the next issue. Whoopee. Ah yes, barefacts finishes for the semester in week 12 [that’s 3 weeks and counting...] so get your lovey dovey Christmas personals in pretty damn soon! ah yes, guys - if you’re sending in more than one, pop then in the same email and i’ll be your bestest friend! Cheers. Tamara, this is talal, forget bilal yas and moe, i am the one for u baby. all my love sexy momma T 4 T xxxxxxx Lucy, Kat and Jamie how many each???!! Pirates and pushbikes, stillettos and skirts, That was the end of the night, but the start of a fight... Rach - are you sure it’s really THAT SMALL??? Lol, BJ. bowl. e-mail: i_carried_watermelons@virginst udent.com BOGIES!!! they’re getting younger - we should really start growing old gracefully Sweetboy is it true you’ve got 12 inches of pure love sausage?! in Leicester you said i was good Nice try bells! Oi Oi Sweetboy! Got any pineapple lollies left? Wanted - one new belt buckle... cullen and kebab will be making their comeback in week 11 - watch out!! is a fat blonde guy supposed to be sexy? if not, then why does he act like he is?!? lazy areses barely left channies and saw all the fireworks!!!?? how rude - dude! Some little girls are more special than others. xxx Been watching this space? Well hope youve also been missing me - you wont have long to wait now! Im back for fetish for a one off performance of drunken trouble making!! See you soon! xx Who says i should be all grown up now?! To the sexy basketball ladies! dont worry about the loss, u still all looked sexy in the union! Well, if you’re not going to lock the bathroom door Miss Smith, then you’ll just have to practice being quicker with your hands!!! katie got hammered! has anyone seen scott’s willy hat? Did Ariel Sharon recently try to re-establish Naziism? On halloween night we were in for a fright, Woodlands road was the scene, it wasn’t too too clean (til someone tidied!) Red wine on the floor, lock pulled off the door, “Fitty” Clare on the floor, Andy wet himself (we all saw!) Up the ladder went Ed, with Alex behind the shed (!!), Sarah sat on the stairs, Ruth starting to swear! Ssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Everyone downstairs! Danny and Dave kept in line by “Teach”, i’m thinking the girlies are ready to unleash the dragon on all those cheap - non-feeding, dirty playing hairy women! that means were gonna start winning! to Anna, you’re very cool. love from your ex housemate (see - you can’t say you never get personals now!) so close you old tart, next time you’ll score! Dr Love and Nurse Euthenasia will be holding a special clinic from 10.30pm at the Union this Friday. Full body examinations available on request. Argh!!! PEMS!!! with ring(lets) in her hair and BELLS on her toes she will score try’s wherever she goes! oh pj & duncan !!!! Lets get ready to rumble !!!!!!!! Everybody rumble!!!!!! LUTH U STILL ALIVE AND SWIMMING? Are you Jon Noble? WANTED: 1 fish tank asap to replace mixing neil broadbent = sexy! lotsa love from little miss ali x x x p.s. can I give chester uni a mention?!! 23 SPORT 13 November 2003 Coaching in the Community An introduction to the Coaching Opportunities at Surrey The coaching in the community scheme is a fantastic opportunity for all students and staff to obtain coaching skills and experience free of charge, all that is required is that you attend a coach education course and give only 15 voluntary hours coaching work to the community! By doing this you will develop new skills, meet new people, have great fun and of course aid your employability prospects. All courses listed below can be accessed through the ‘Coaching in the Community’ scheme, so take full advantage and contact Vicki Hansford or Carol Main (details below) and book up quick as places are going fast. Athletics – Leaders Award Badminton – Leaders Award Basketball- Levels 1&2 Coach Award Basketball Leaders Award, Referee & Table Officials Courses Climbing – Site Specific Climbing Instructors Award Cricket – Level 1 Coach Community Sports Leader Award International Dance Teachers Association Basic Teaching Level Football – Level 1 Coach Award Hockey – Level 1 Coach Award Netball – Level 1 Coach Award Squash – Level 1 Coach Award Trampolining – Level 1 Coach Award YMCA – Exercise to Music Womens Squash Show Talent BY PIPPA CARTER This was our first home game this season so we were keen to show our supporters what we could do against a notoriously strong opposition – Kings College. First came Cat - she had a good game against a very serious competitor but unfortunately lost 39, 5-9, 4-9 - a score which does not justify the game. Next was Laura, the only player from last years squad to play. She was up against a fairly matched opposition who just managed to get the edge and she lost 4-9, 0-9, 2-9 in an exciting game. Magda and I were up next. I had a weaker opposition and managed to drop-shot my way to a 9-1, 9-5, 9-1 win whilst Magda on the neighbouring court battled hard against a very fast player, unfortunately losing. Maine had the daunting task of playing last and found herself against a girl who hit the ball at Mach 1 (‘very fast’ for those unfamiliar with the phrase!) with very little effort and battled away resulting in an overall 4-1 loss for Surrey. With the majority of the squad being Freshers there is plenty of talent for the future so a loss to such a strong opposition definitely will not faze Surreys determination in the future. Additional Courses Emergency First Aid for Sport How To Coach Disabled People in Sport Seminar Good Practise and Child Protection Equity in Your Coaching Biomechanics Observation, Analysis & Video For More Information on any of the courses and for details of how to apply for places contact: Vicki Hansford : UniSport, 01483 689975 or [email protected] Carol Main : USSU, 01483 683254 or [email protected] BUSA Results | 12 November 2003 Mens Squash Sussex 1st vs SURREY 1st Badminton SURREY 1st vs Brunel 1st SURREY 2nd vs KENT 1st 5-3 4-5 Basketball LSE 1st vs SURREY 1st 62-60 Fencing Sussex 1st vs SURREY 1st 135-95 3-0 4-0 3-2 3-0 2-0 Golf SURREY 1st vs UWIC 1st 3-3 Hockey St Georges 1st vs SURREY 1st 13-0 Rugby Union Sussex 1st vs SURREY 1st 4-1 Mens Womens Badminton Kingston 2nd vs SURREY 2nd Basketball SURREY 1st vs Kingston 1st 74-50 Basketball SURREY 1st vs Kent 1st 5-2 Fencing City 1st vs SURREY 1st Football Sussex 1st vs SURREY 1st 30-19 Football SURREY 1st vs Sussex 1st SURREY 3rd vs SURREY 2nd SURREY 4th vs Chichester 3rd SURREY 5th vs Brighton 5th 20-5 Golf SURREY 1st vs Bath 1st Hockey Imperial Meds 1st vs SURREY 1st 4-0 Football SURREY 1st vs LSE 1st 2-1 Brighton 4th vs SURREY 2nd Kingston 3rd vs SURREY 3rd SURREY 4th vs SUSSEX 4th Chichester 3rd vs SURREY 5th BUSA Fixtures | 19 November 2003 Netball SURREY 2nd vs St Mary’s 3rd Rugby Union Roehampton 1st vs SURREY 1st Squash SURREY 1st vs GKT 1st 1-4 for more fixtures and results visit: busaresults.org.uk Hockey SURREY 1st vs Roehampton 1st SURREY 2nd vs Portsmouth 3rd Rugby Union London South Bank 1st vs SURREY 1st Squash Kings 1st vs SURREY 1st Brunel 1st vs SURREY 2nd Womens Badminton LSE 1st vs SURREY 1st Basketball SURREY 1st vs Portsmouth 1st Football St Georges Hosp 1st vs SURREY 1st Hockey Brighton 1st vs SURREY 1st Netball Kingston 1st vs SURREY 1st SURREY 2nd vs Imperial 2nd Rugby Union SURREY 1st vs Brighton 1st Squash SURREY 1st vs London Met 1st 24 SPORT 13 November 2003 teamsurrey Surrey Sailors Excel Again BY DAVID ANNAN Over the first weekend of November a team of 8 sailors from the USSC and their fan club travelled to Weymouth for the 2003 BUSA Fleet Racing National Championships. Surrey’s entry into the event consisted of a team of four Laser II class dinghies. The Surrey team continued to build on their successes at the 2003 World Championships with two boats finishing in the top ten places. The team travelled down to Weymouth on the Friday and in true Surrey style hit the town. The team showed superb stamina to be the only people left in Yate’s at closing time! As a result some of the crews were a bit worse for wear when they were rudely awakened after just four hours sleep for breakfast. Despite the poor forecast, the weather conditions for Saturdays racing were nearly perfect. The sun was shining and the wind was blowing. In race 1 the Surrey boats all got good starts with two boats rounding the first mark in the top ten. Dave Annan and James Nuttall finished the race in eighth place with Pete Williams and Alistair Kerr sailing well to finish the race in fifth place out of 63. Race two started in slightly lighter winds. Williams/Kerr got a brilliant start and led the fleet for most of the first leg. Richard Fruehmann and Amy Copeland also got a good start and finished in 27th place. During race two the wind was steadily increasing and by the start of race three the wind had reached force 5. In these more challenging conditions some of the less experienced sailors in the fleet started to struggle which resulted in some spectacular capsizes. At the front of the fleet, the stronger winds made the racing even more competitive as there was less margin for error. Annan/Nuttall showed some superb upwind speed to finish race 3 in fifth place. Paul Simmonds and Adrian Woodroffe (who had never sailed together before this event) showed improvement to finish within the top forty despite a capsize. Race four was again sailed in strong winds. Annan/Nuttall again sailed well to finish the race in fourth place. They were later protested for sailing the incorrect course on the final lap of the race but in the protest hearing the following morning the protest was declared invalid and the fourth place stood. However, a boat from Loughborough University was disqualified from the race. Freuhmann/Copeland scored their best result of the event with and 18th place in race four. Saturday night saw the team again keeping the Surrey name alive at the event social in one of Weymouths night clubs. Vast Ten Pin Bowling Team Strike BY JAMES PARROTT The Tenpin Bowling Club this weekend played its first UCTBA match of the season against University of East Anglia at Go Bowling, Dunstable. The team narrowly lost 9-7 in a very close match. The draw for the match was made over 2 weeks ago. The group consists of 4 teams: UEA, Hull, Essex and Surrey. Even before the match day, we had to overcome several minor problems. It was left for the University of Surrey to sort out the venue and we had major problems with travelling arrangements. We were the first team to arrive and so we were the first team in the bar. This could be a good reason why we underachieved. Slowly but surely the other universities arrived and by the time UEA were ready to play we had been in the bar for nearly an hour. Our A team absolutely annihilated UEA’s finest without lifting a finger. Surrey’s A team won by over 500 pins and they also beat the high series record by over 50 pins. The B team however, only won 1 game out of the three. The C team should of won all their games but only drew 2 all. They lost the first two games by less than 10 pins each time. That’s just one extra spare. The team recovered to win the last game and to snatch the overall point too. Not to forget, our brave ladies team. This was their first competitive match. The opposition team included several league bowlers and a BUSA member. They lost all the points but they can hold their heads up high in regards to their team performance. Over the weekend there were some outstanding performances that shouldn’t go without a mention. The A Team beat the high series by over 50 pins with a team average of 208. Two members of the team played particularly well with Rob Kendall averaging 228 and 208 from Anthony Roots. Also, Ashley Turner achieved his second highest game ever with a 198 (only 2 away from the milestone 200 game). The Sports Show on GU2 Thursdays 1-4 | With TUG & TIM Campus phone: 811350 | Ex: 01483 681350 Email / MSN: [email protected] The Sports Show on GU2 quantities of alcohol were consumed and a great time was had by all. By the time the hangovers had kicked in on Sunday morning a Force 8 gale that had blown up which led to the days racing being cancelled. The Laser II fleet was won by a team from Exeter University. However, Surrey was the only University to have two boats finishing in the top ten places in the overall standings with Dave Annan and James Nuttall finishing in fourth place and Pete Williams and Alistair Kerr finishing seventh. Richard Fruehmann and Amy Copeland finished 25th and Paul Simmonds and Adrian Woodroffe finished a respectable 42nd despite having never sailed together before. Overall the event provided an excellent weekend with great sailing and some fun socials. If anyone out there wants to get involved in sailing, simply turn up at the main union reception at 1pm on Wednesdays or check out the web site for more details (www.ussc.org.uk). Think your sport is physically or mentally demanding or simply different from all the rest? Then why not Challenge Chops to take part in your sport and show exactly what is involved. Email [email protected]. SPORTS PROFILE Name: David Chapman Age: 23 Sports: Surfing, Sub Aqua, Cycling Nicknames: Chops, Chopsie, Lamb Chops, Lamby, Lambo, Velvet Boy Hobbies: sports above, photography Best thing about your sport: The amazing feeling when you (eventually) get a good wave Most memorable sporting moment: Making the top 40% at student nationals Most embarrassing moment: Losing track of my position, getting dragged onto rocks and nearly drowning/ needing rescuing The plug: Surf Holiday to Lanzarote in January, 2 weeks for just £400. [email protected]