the black love book

THE BLACK LOVE BOOK
An Anthology on Love and Guide to the “wholyday”
Feb 13th - Black Love Day
Compiled, edited and written by
Ayo Handy Kendi
Founder of Black Love Day
2
The Black Love Book
An a n t h ology on love a n d gu ide t o t h e “wh olyda y” F eb 13 t h - Bla ck Love Da y
P u blish ed by Ayo H a n dy Ken di
1855 Th ir d St r eet , N.W.
Wa sh in gt on , D. C. 20001
202-667-2577
www.Afr ica n Am er ica n H olida ys.or g
in fo@a a h a -in fo.or g
Asan te S an a (th an k you ) to all w h o con tribu ted in an y w ay:
An th ology su bm itters of love ritu als, poetry, essays, prayers, articles, etc. d on ated by
au th ors an d offered to th is w ritin g by th eir expressed perm ission .
All R igh ts R eserved w h ere au th ored .
Com piled, edit ed a n d wr it t en by Ayo H a n dy Ken di
Typogr a ph y by Ma r ia T. P et t u s a n d Da r len e “Ayesh a ” Da n cy
Cover Ar t a n d u n less in dica t ed, Illu st r a t ion s by J a ba r e Ma lik Cla r y
Asst . E dit or s: J oh n P a u l Da vies III a n d Akosh u a Mu wwa kkil
P r odu ct ion : F r a n ch et t e Du bois Bu r gess , Ch r is Rollin s
Copyr igh t © 2008 by Ayo H a n dy Ken di (for m er ly Ayo H a n dy-Cla r y)
All Righ t s Reser ved. P a r t s of t h is pu blica t ion m a y be r epr odu ced or t r a n sm it t ed in a n y
for m or by a n y m ea n s, elect r on ic or m ech a n ica l in clu din g ph ot ocopy, r ecor din g or a n y
in for m a t ion st or a ge a n d r et r ieva l syst em , wit h per m ission of pu blish er in wr it in g by
m a il, em a il, or fa x r equ est t o t h e pu blish er except in t h e ca se of br ief qu ot a t ion s for
cr it ica l a r t icles a n d r eviews.
ISBN Nu m ber P en din g
P r in t ed in t h e Un it ed St a t es of Am er ica
F ir st P r in t in g, J a n u a r y, 2000
Secon d P r in t in g, F ebr u a r y, 2002
Th ird P rin tin g , F e bru a ry , 2008
3
THE BLACK LOVE BOOK
An Anthology on Love and Guide to the “wholyday”
Feb 13th - Black Love Day
Compiled, edited and written by
Ayo Handy Kendi
Founder of Black Love Day
3rd EDITION
Published by Ayo Handy Kendi
Washington, D.C. 20008
4
5
Dedication

Wit h t h e fir st self-pu blish ed edit ion of t h is book, I a n n ou n ced for t h e fir st t im e t h a t I h a d
a ccept ed t h e a dopt ed, Afr ica n n a m e of m y m ot h er , a s m y own la st n a m e a n d n o lon ger
in t en ded t o ca r r y m y for m er la st , Ayo H a n dy Cla r y ( m a r r ied a t t h e t im e of t h e cr ea t ion
of Bla ck Love Da y). By a dopt in g t h e n a m e Ayo H a n dy Ken di, I com m it t ed t o con t in u e
t h e lega cy of Dor is A.M. Th om a s, m y m ot h er a n d best fr ien d, wh ose n a m e, Mot h er H a ja r i
Ken di m ea n s “Qu een Mot h er – Mot h er of Us All” wh ich is a n h on or a ble n a m e best owed
on h er by a n Afr ica n pr iest .
I con t in u e t o dedica t e t h is book t o t h e love a n d sist er h ood of m y “Mom m y” wh o a t 83
yea r s you n g (a ge 75 a t t h e t a kin g of a bove pict u r e), loves life by sh owin g m a n y fin e
exa m ples of t h e five t en et s of Bla ck Love Da y.
In so m a n y wa ys, sh e con st a n t ly
dem on st r a t es love a s wor sh ip a n d fa it h fu ln ess t o t h e Cr ea t or , sin gs in t h e ch oir , a n d
h elps ou t a t h er ch u r ch pr ogr a m s. Sh e loves h er self by t a kin g gr ea t ca r e of h er h ea lt h
a s a 39 yea r su r vivor of br ea st ca n cer . Sh e sh ows love h er fa m ily love by n u r t u r in g a n d
su ppor t in g h er ch ildr en , h er gr a n ds a n d gr ea t -gr a n dch ildr en .
Sh e loves h er Bla ck
com m u n it y by volu n t eer in g wit h m a n y n eigh bor h ood sen ior cen t er s per for m in g t a p
da n cin g or t ea ch in g Ta i Ch i or Yoga .
H er love sh ows wit h in t h e Bla ck r a ce a s a
volu n t eer spokesper son for Bla cks a ga in st Ca n cer in t h e Am er ica n Ca n cer Societ y, a s
well a s in spir in g m a n y a s fou n der a n d com pa n y dir ect or of Th e Ser en it y P la yer s Th ea t er
Com pa n y wh ich sh e st a r t ed a t a ge 60. H er love for h u m a n kin d explodes in t h is wor k,
a lso a s a n a ct r ess/pla ywr igh t in t h is in t er gen er a t ion a l, a wa r d -win n in g gr ou p, t h e on ly
su ch com pa n y in t h e S.E ., u n der ser ved sect ion of D. C., wit h pla ys focu sin g on Afr ica n Am er ica n spir it u a l va lu es, cu lt u r e a n d h ist or y.
I sin cer ely a ppr ecia t e a ll t h a t m y Mot h er h a s don e a n d con t in u es t o do for m e, ou r fa m ily
a n d for so m a n y ot h er s. I a m ext r em ely pr ou d t o be h er da u gh t er a n d t o be a pr odu ct of
h er a n d m y fa t h er ‟s Bla ck Love.
6
CONTENTS
Part 1:
All About Black Love Day
Dedication
Contents
Acknowledgments
Libation Statement
Forward
Introduction to Black Love Day
An Interview –All About Black Love Day
The Black Love Pledge
What we Need is Love
What’s So Important About Rituals and Holidays
Candle Burning Rituals
How to Observe BLD – A Guide
The Covenant – An Affirmation of Bonding
How to Demonstrate the 5 Acts of Black Love
Atonement Blessings
Part 2:
5
6
8
10
11
22
25
33
35
38
41
43
53
55
63
An Anthology on Love
The History of Valentine’s Day
The Infamous “Willie Lynch Letter”
The Truth of the Past Will Set Us Free
Hug Therapy – Types of Hugs
How-to Use Spiritual Laws to Attract A Mate
Open Letter to the Black Love Conference
Love
Black Love
What I Have Learned About Relationships
Sarah – a Child Abuse Poem
An “I Love You” Story
I’m No Expert – Just Blessed With Love
Ayo’s “I’m No Expert” Relationship Check-Up
Black Love Planning Sheet
A Selection of Prayers for Love & Forgiveness
Resources
66
70
72
74
78
79
82
83
85
88
89
90
93
97
98
106
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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
To t h e Alm igh t y Cr ea t or , t h e r ea l cr ea t or of Bla ck Love Da y, Asa n t e Sa n a (t h a n k you ) for t h e
in spir a t ion of t h e “wh olyda y” Bla ck Love Da y a n d t h e m a n y love blessin gs t h a t h a ve been given
t o m e sin ce 1993 beca u se of t h is “wh olyda y” . Th a n k you for you r love, t h e h u m ilit y t o ser ve a n d
you r m er cy;
To t h e An cest or s of Afr ica n Descen t , wh o per sever ed a n d evolved t h r ou gh Bla ck love sin ce t h e
begin n in g of civiliza t ion , Asa n t e Sa n a for a ll of you r lovin g gu ida n ce a n d willin gn ess t o love you r
people, so m u ch t h a t you sa cr ificed for u s ; To m y fa m ily An cest or s for t h e love a n d gu ida n ce t h a t
you h a ve given , sh a pin g m e t o be t h e per son I a m t oda y, Asa n t e Sa n a t o a ll of m y gr a n dpa r en t s;
t o m y fir st h u sba n d a n d r ea lly good fr ien d, Da m a n i H a n dy; t o ou r secon d-bor n son , Ra sh id H a n dy
wh ose sh or t 17 yea r s en ded in violen ce bu t wh ose life in spir es Bla ck love in a ct ion t oda y;
Gr a n dm a Wylie, Ma r y E liza bet h a n d H a n son H a n dy, Sr ., in -la ws, gr a n dpa r en t s a n d m or e; t o m y
fa t h er , Mor r ie I. Th om a s, J r . (Ton y) wh ose lega cy of love h a s given m e, per h a ps t h e gr ea t est gift
I've lea r n ed t o da t e – t h e gift of for given ess – wh ich br ou gh t m e closer t o t h e Cr ea t or ; To m y
oldest br ot h er Melvin , wh ose decision t o en d h is life, h elped m e u n der st a n d bet t er qu a lit y life;
To m y son , Ako Ma lik H a n dy, m y fir st -bor n , Asa n t e Sa n a for you r life ch a llen ges t h a t h a ve
t a u gh t m e a n d con st a n t ly r em in ds m e, t o love t h a n let go a n d let God;
To m y pa r en t s m a r r ia ge of 52 yea r s u n t il m y Da d‟s t r a n sit ion , Asa n t e Sa n a , for t h e r ole m odel it
ga ve m e of h ow differ en t people wh o t r u ly love ea ch ot h er in t h eir own u n iqu e wa ys, can st a y
t oget h er , wor kin g t h r ou gh m a n y u ps a n d down s a n d t h eir differ en ces. You bot h loved you r fa m ily
in t h e best wa y t h a t you kn ew h ow. Som et im es good, som et im es n ot so good, you r t r iu m ph s,
st r u ggles a n d pa ssion for you r fa m ily sh owed m e wh a t t r u e Bla ck Love is;
To m y Mom m y, Dor is A. M. Th om a s, a ka , Ma m a Aja r i Ken di, Asa n t e Sa n a , for you r st r en gt h a n d
you r cou r a ge t o be you r self, for you r t en a cit y in t h e fa ce of a dver sit y, for you r willin gn ess t o ser ve
t h e com m u n it y a n d for you r lovin g a ccept a n ce a n d open -m in dedn ess t owa r ds m e, you r
u n con ven t ion a l da u gh t er ;
To m y ot h er br ot h er s a n d sist er s, Ma u r ice, Ma r ia a n d Don n a , Asa n t e Sa n a for you r fr ien dsh ip, for
you r u n con dit ion a l love; for a lwa ys bein g t h er e for m e -- for h elpin g, a dvisin g, su ppor t in g, a n d
m a kin g m e la u gh . To a ll m y Sist er -in -la ws, n ieces, n eph ews a n d cou sin s wh om I've h a d t h e
plea su r e in h elpin g a n d wa t ch in g gr ow u p. Asa n t e Sa n a for t h e ch a n ce t o love you a s you r
t ea ch er , a n d t o be loved in r et u r n , a t ot h er t im es, a s you r st u den t . Be en cou r a ged a n d u se a ll
t h e love t h a t t h is fa m ily h a s given you a ll over t h e yea r s;
To Keish a , Asa n t e Sa n a for m y gr a n dson s, Ra sh id Kesh a wn H a n dy, m y h ea r t a n d t h e r ein ca r n a t e
of m y son , h is Un cle Ra sh id a n d Ma lik H a n dy, wh o I h elped deliver in t o t h is wor ld on ou r livin g
r oom floor wit h 911‟s a ssist a n ce;
To t h e ext en ded gr a n dda u gh t er s, F r a n ch a e, Bia n ca a n d La qu it a , Asa n t e Sa n a for t h e lesson s of
ca r in g a n d pa t ien ce t h a t we lea r n ed a n d con t in u e t o lea r n a s a n ext en ded fa m ily a n d for you r
willin gn ess t o h a ve sh a r ed ou r h om e a n d t h e r a isin g of Ra sh id a n d Ma lik ;
To t h e lovem a t es of m y life, Asa n t e Sa n a for r ela t in g t o m e a s a ca r in g wom a n , wh ose Bla ck love
wa s dest in ed t o be sh a r ed du e t o m y love for t h e com m u n it y;
To som e lon g-st a n din g fr ien ds, Asa n t e Sa n a , for t h e Bla ck love you ‟ve given t o m e a n d m in e
wh ich h a s been dem on st r a t ed a n d t est ed, over a n d over a n d over a ga in – J oh n Da vies, H a m id
8
Ma yes, Kh a li Ra sh eed, P h yllis Wa sh in gt on , Da r n ell Br a dfor d E l, J oh n son La n ca st er , Koka yi
P a t t er son , E a r l Koger , a n d Da r len e “Ayesh a ” Da n cy;
To m y ot h er ext en ded “fa m ily” Asa n t e Sa n a , for you r con t in u ed su ppor t of t h e Afr ica n Am er ica n
H olida y Associa t ion (AAH A) sin ce 1989 We‟ve com e t h is fa r t h r ou gh you r “Bla ck Love.” Asa n t e
Sa n a t o Ign a t iu s Ma son , Ma r cu s Nya h om a , P et e Ivy, Adeba yo, P a pa st ya Da s, Gr a ylin P r esbu r y,
H a kim Moh a m m ed, Ra su l Ca r t er , Cla r a Ch ich est er , Kh a lim Um r a n i, Ba di Mu r ph y, P or t ia Dea l,
Zelm a P et t er son , Ifet a yo Wh it e, Kim Ash by, Br en da Sa yles a n d J er om e. E xt r a , specia l love t o
Ma r y E xu m , Am in a Lee, Tin a Ca m a r a , Sh a r on Ross a n d Lois H obson m y An gel sist er s. Asa n t e
Sa n a t o som e ot h er specia l h elper s, Al, Ma r t i, Va len cia Moh a m m ed, Willia m J or da n , F a r u q
Mu h a m m a d, P a u l Th om pson , Akosh u a Mu wa kkil, a n d Kofi Boa kye, Mr . J a m es Isley a n d Cyn t h ia
Sm it h . Love a n d a ppr ecia t ion t o t h e m a n y volu n t eer s a n d m er ch a n t s a t t h e Afr ica n Am er ica n
H olida y E xpos sin ce 1982 wit h liba t ion s t o a n cest or s Na ‟iym a a n d E r n est Wh it e; Asa n t e Sa n a t o
a ll of t h e you n g people in YE P wh o h a ve been lea r n in g cooper a t ive econ om ics by t h eir Bla ck Love
in a ct ion . Asa n t e Sa n a , t o a n yon e wh o h a s ever su ppor t ed in a n ywa y, AAH A‟s , m ission , m y
m ission - sin ce 1982;
To J a ba r e, wh o wa s sen t t o m e a s m y secon d m a t e a r ou n d t h e t im e of t h e co-cr ea t ion , in 1993, of
Bla ck Love Da y. Asa n t e Sa n a for you r spir it u a l in spir a t ion wh ich a dded t h e r a cia l h ea lin g
dim en sion t o Bla ck Love Da y a n d for you r a r t ist ic a bilit ies t o m a ke a pict u r e spea k a t h ou sa n d
wor ds, wh ich cr ea t ed t h e fir st a r t ist ic por t r a ya l of t h e wh oly da y. Asa n t e Sa n a for t h e lesson s in
ou r 6-yea r -old m a r r ia ge filled wit h t h e ch a llen ges of Bla ck Love a s exper ien ced t oda y. Ma y Th e
Cr ea t or con t in u e t o bless you ;
To t h e villa ge of DC, Ch ocola t e Cit y, m y bir t h pla ce a n d m y com m u n it y, Asa n t e Sa n a , for a ll of
you wh o sh ow t h eir Bla ck Love in a ct ion by t h eir con t in u ed wor k for t h e liber a t ion of Afr ica n
people in t h e la st colon y, D.C. a n d in t h e Afr ica n Dia spor a ; Asa n t e Sa n a for a ll of you wh o a r e
wor kin g for t h e goodwill a n d qu a lit y of life for a ll people;
To t h e Bla ck m edia , Asa n t e Sa n a for a llowin g u s t o pr om ot e Bla ck Love Da y fr om da y -on e:
E r n est Wh it e of WDCU‟s Cr osst a lk, Th e Ca t h y H u gh es Sh ow on WOL, Wa sh in gt on P ost
colu m n ist , Dor ot h y Gillia m , Th e Ca pit ol Spot ligh t . Bla ck m edia t h a t la t er pr om ot ed BLD deser ve
specia l a ppr ecia t ion : WP F W, WH UR, Wa sh . P ost r epor t er , DeNeen Br own , News Dim en sion s,
r epor t er , Ch r is Wh it field, Bob La w, Bev Sm it h a n d Tom J oyn er . To t h e Wh it e m edia fr om da yon e, Asa n t e Sa n a for t a kin g t h e r isk in open in g u p t h e in for m a t ion of Bla ck Love Da y t o Wh it e
a u dien ces: WP GC, News Ch a n n el 8 a n d Tom Gr oom s of WJ ZY;
To t h e wor ld-wide com m u n it y of t h e Afr ica n Dia spor a , Asa n t e Sa n a for you r Bla ck Love wh ich
pr odu ces br illia n t , m ela n in -r ich ba bies, wh o wit h ea ch br ea t h , offer a r a y of h ope t o a wor ld t h a t
n eeds ou r specia l, spir it u a l love t h a t keeps on givin g.
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Libation Statement and Prayer of Thanks
I affirm Father-Mother God,
the abundance of creation,
and the prosperity in the
breath of life.
I affirm Mother-Father God,
the Joy of your presence,
and the blessings of a dynamic,
ancestral legacy.
This moment I rejoice!
I have poured the Libations!
Made invocation, set a place
for my elders, honored the ancestors
and drummed in the songs!
Hear this prayer, Oh Lord,
as you heard the prayers of my people
in that ancient, comely land;
as you heard the supplications
during the middle passage, and of our
numerous dark days in this wilderness.
For the Mothers that bore us,
raised us, protected us
because they loved us;
we give thanks.
For the Fathers that sired us,
bent, dug and hauled for us,
for they loved us too;
we give thanks.
For all those who made this
moment possible,
with their blood, dreams and sweat;
we give thanks.
We join here, give thanks for our
certain victory, close at hand.
We continue.
The struggle continues............Amen
An offering by Hamid Mayes Copyright, © 1991 Ayo Handy Kendi
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Forward
Th is is t h e 3 r d edit ion of t h is book, a n a n t h ology a bou t love a n d a h ow-t o gu ide on
obser vin g t h e "wh olyda y" Bla ck Love Da y (BLD) obser ved a n n u a lly on F ebr u a r y 13t h .
Th is r evised book in clu des som e n ew m a t er ia l fr om t h e fir st edit ion , som e cor r ect ion s
a n d en h a n ced a r t wor k. Wr it t en a s t h e “defin it ive gu ide” on obser vin g BLD, t h e book
expla in s BLD‟s or igin , it s sym bols, a n d it s r it u a ls. Th e book fu r t h er pr ovides con cr et e
su ggest ion s of “love in a ct ion ” a ct ivit ies t h a t ca n be in it ia t ed on BLD, in Bla ck a n d Wh it e
com m u n it ies t o h elp t h ese com m u n it ies h ea l t h r ou gh love in wa ys t h a t a r e m ea n in gfu l,
fa r beyon d t h e 13t h . Th e h ist or y a n d ba ckgr ou n d of Va len t in e's Da y, t h e u p -t il-n ow,
h olida y of love, is a lso in clu ded wit h a n expla n a t ion a s t o wh y, I believe BLD, is a m or e
spir it u a l, cu lt u r a l a n d wh olis t ic a lt er n a t ive t h a t is n eeded n ow by Afr ica n Am er ica n s t o
r eju ven a t e a n d r e-bon d t h eir r ela t ion sh ips t h r ou gh love. As a n a n t h ology, t h e book
fu r t h er offer s in spir a t ion a l, poem s, essa ys a n d a r t icles t h a t descr ibe love's m a n y for m s
a n d expr ession s wh ile pr ovidin g h elpfu l t ech n iqu es of love's h ea lin g t r a n sfor m a t ion a l
power .
I ca m e t o com pile, edit a n d wr it e cer t a in segm en t s of t h is book, in t h e sa m e wa y t h a t
I r eceived t h e Cr ea t or ‟s m essa ge t h a t in spir ed m e t o co-cr ea t e BLD. Bla ck Love Da y a n d
t h e Bla ck Love Book h a ve been ch a n n eled t o m e fr om t h e Most H igh , so m u ch of t h is
book wa s wr it t en a s I per son a lly r eceived in for m a t ion t o in clu de. F or sever a l yea r s n ow,
I h a ve been blessed t o r eceive m a n y divin e m essa ges a n d in st r u ct ion s fr om “t h e Cr ea t or ”
I ch ose t o ca ll t h e God of m y u n der st a n din g by m a n y n a m es, in t er ch a n gea bly, Alla h , t h e
Alm igh t y, t h e Un iver se, Spir it , F a t h er /Mot h er /God, et c. Bu t , for con sist en cy in t h is
wr it in g, I will r efer t o “t h e Cr ea t or ”. H owever , plea se don ‟t get con fu sed if I m a ke
r efer en ce ot h er wise, a n d kn ow t h a t by wh a t ever glor iou s n a m e I u se, t h a t I a m spea kin g
of “t h e Su pr em e Bein g” com m on ly r efer r ed a s God .
I „m lea r n in g t o list en sin cer ely wit h a n open h ea r t t o t h ese m essa ges a n d
in st r u ct ion s. As I list en t o t h e Cr ea t or , t h r ou gh m y in n er voice, or t h r ou gh m y in t u it ion
t h e Cr ea t or in st r u ct s m e well. I‟m a wa r e n ow t h a t m y t h ou gh t s a r e pr a yer s t h a t a r e
ch a n n els t o r eceive t h e Cr ea t or ‟s will a n d pu r pose for m y life. Th e Cr ea t or , a s m y sou r ce,
sh ows m e so m u ch love, a n d I n o lon ger feel t h e n eed t o wr est le wit h life beca u se I kn ow
t h a t I a m con st a n t ly, lovin gly gu ided by t h e Cr ea t or a s lon g a s I m ove wit h t h e Cr ea t or
a s m y pa r t n er -- m y fir st love. I feel t h e love of An gels t h a t con st a n t ly a ssist m e, ju st
wh en I n eed t h em a n d I expect m ir a cles, a n d t h ey h a ppen , n ot a lwa ys in m y t im e, bu t
a lwa ys in t h e Cr ea t or ‟s t im e. I a m t r a n sfor m in g t h r ou gh t h e love t h a t I give a n d r eceive
a s I ser ve t h e Cr ea t or ‟s pla n s.
At t h is t im e in m y life, I a m a lso gr owin g in self-love fr om m y a wa r en ess of t h e
“spir it ” of m y a n cien t Afr ica n , Afr ica n Am er ica n , a n d Na t ive Am er ica n a n cest or s a s well
a s t h e An cest or s of ot h er h er it a ges t h a t I‟m n ot a wa r e of in m y ba ckgr ou n d. I‟m a lso
lea r n in g t o feel t h e “spir it ” of m y n ewest a n cest or s, m y son Ra sh id, m y fa t h er , m y fir st
h u sba n d, Da m a n i a n d h is pa r en t s, m y m ot h er a n d fa t h er -in -la w, Ma r y E liza bet h a n d
H a n son H a n dy, Sr . Th r ou gh t h eir pa ssin gs in t h e pa st 6 yea r s, I‟ve lea r n ed even gr ea t er
lesson s a bou t ext en din g love “in t h e spir it ” a n d t h a t dea t h is a ct u a lly a n ot h er a spect of
life a n d is t h er efor e n o en em y.
11
F r om t h ese h igh , spir it u a l sou r ces, I a m pr ovided wit h divin e idea s, in for m a t ion ,
a n d a ssocia t ion s exa ct ly wh en I n eed t h em . Bla ck Love Da y is su ch a n idea wh ich
st a r t ed ou t a s a seed t h ou gh t pla n t ed in m y con sciou s m in d by t h e Cr ea t or 's in spir a t ion ,
in divin e or der . I a m h u m bled for bein g ch osen t o deliver t h e divin e in spir a t ion of Bla ck
Love a n d I feel so h u m ble t h a t t h e Cr ea t or con t in u es t o u se m e a s t h e in st r u m en t
t h r ou gh wh ich Bla ck Love Da y a n d t h e Bla ck Love Book h a ve n ow com e.
Th e t h ou gh t of Bla ck Love Da y, wa s con ceived on New Yea r 's E ve, 1992, a s I decided
t o go a lon e t o see t h e Spike Lee's m ovie ver sion of “Ma lcolm -X”. Th is pa r t icu la r da y wa s
u n u su a lly wa r m for win t er wea t h er in D.C. P eople wer e a ct u a lly wa lkin g a r ou n d in
sh or t sleeves. Lea vin g t h e m ovie, I decided t o t a ke t h e Geor gia Aven u e bu s in st ea d of
t h e Silver Spr in g su bwa y, so t h a t I cou ld en joy t h e su n sh in e. Sit t in g n ea r t h e su n n iest
sect ion , in t h e ba ck of t h e bu s, I kept r eflect in g on t h e power fu l scen e wh er e br ot h er ,
Ma lcolm 's body wa s r iddled wit h bu llet s fr om Bla ck m en like h im self. I t h ou gh t a bou t
h ow Afr ica n Am er ica n s, a s a people, m u st st op killin g ea ch ot h er . An d I r eflect ed on
violen ce in t h e Bla ck com m u n it y, st er eot yped by t h e t er m , Bla ck on Bla ck Cr im e, a n d
oft en a n a lyzed t h a t su ch violen ce r eflect s t h e collect ive r a ge of a n oppr essed people
st r ikin g ou t . Too oft en , h owever , in st ea d of st r ikin g ou t a t ou r oppr essor s, we in st ea d,
st r ike ba ck a t ou r own Bla ck people wh ich sh ows t h e sym pt om s of a collect ive, selfh a t r ed bor n a s t h e con sequ en ces of livin g in t h e br u t a lly sick syst em of r a cism . I t h ou gh t
of t h e t u r m oil of 400 yea r s or m or e of ou r exist en ce a s Afr ica n s livin g in Am er ica -- wit h
ou r iden t it y st olen ; fa m ilies t or n a pa r t ; m u r der ed a n d r a ped in fr on t of ea ch ot h er ; ou r
m en ‟s m a n h ood br u t a lly degr a ded a n d dim in ish ed a s t h e lea der s in t h eir h om es; cou ples
den ied t h e r igh t t o m a r r y a n d r a ise t h eir own ch ildr en wh ile h a vin g t o r a ise t h e ch i ldr en
of t h e oppr essor s; t a u gh t n ot t o love ou r selves, ou r cu lt u r e or even t h e “God -for ce” wit h in
u s!
Yes, it ‟s n ot su r pr isin g t h a t Afr ica n Am er ica n s in t h eir isola t ed, det er ior a t ed, u r ba n
com m u n it ies wou ld t u r n t h eir fr u st r a t ion s over t h eir det er ior a t ed con dit ion , u n t o
t h em selves. It a lso a ppea r s t h a t ou r collect ive, la t en t a n ger , pen t u p for so lon g, is
violen t ly explodin g in ou r you t h , especia lly in ga n g figh t s r igh t on t h e st r eet s in t h e on ly
com m u n it ies t h a t t h ey kn ow. Wit h a ll of t h e a wa r en e ss, we‟ve ga in ed sin ce t h e cu lt u r a l,
r evolu t ion of t h e 60‟s, m a n y st ill sh ow t h e sym pt om s of dist r u st t h a t divides u s t oda y,
ju st like in t h e en sla vem en t da ys, wh en Willie Lyn ch st yle t ech n iqu es wer e u sed in t h e
1800‟s t o cr ea t e a syst em t o “divide a n d con qu er ” u s. I t h ou gh t of t h e m a ssive “h ea lin g”
t h a t seem s so desper a t ely n eeded n ow t o con st r u ct ively m ove Bla ck people for wa r d fr om
t h is collect ive pa in , t h e r a ge, t h e bit t er n ess, so t h a t we n o lon ger t u r n on ea ch ot h er n or
sicken ou r selves a n y fu r t h er wit h t h e m a n ifest a t ion s of self-h a t e – disr espect fu ln ess,
st r a in ed a n d a bu sive r ela t ion sh ips, ga n g wa r s, su bst a n ce a bu se, violen ce, cr im e, or
dest r u ct iven ess.
Su ch wr on gfu l, beh a vior s a n d r ela t ion sh ips fu r t h er clou ds ou r
sen sit ivit ies t o exper ien ce ou r h igh er , spir it u a l selves in or der t o r ecla im ou r selves a n d
ou r com m u n it ies.
So, a s I r eflect ed on Ma lcolm a n d a sked m y m in d t h e qu est ion , “wh a t ca n I do t o st op
t h e violen ce in m y com m u n it y”, I h ea r d wh a t a ppea r ed like a voice t h a t seem ed t o com e
t h r ou gh t h e su n pou r in g t h r ou gh t h e win dow. Th e voice wa s so st r on g a n d so pr ofou n d
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t h a t it m a de m e t u r n a r ou n d t o see if som eon e wa s a ct u a lly spea kin g t o m e. Th e
voice sa id, "Bla ck Love, Bla ck Love! We n eed m or e Bla ck Love!" I wa s sh a ken wit h t h e
a wa r en ess t h a t t h e Cr ea t or h a d spoken t o m e, givin g m e a ca llin g t h a t a n swer ed m y
con cer n s. I wa s so in spir ed wit h t h e seed t h ou gh t t h a t befor e t h e h ou r -lon g bu s r ide
en ded, I h a d devised a n idea of pu t t in g on a n even t a s a n a lt er n a t ive Va len t in e's Da y
even t a n d ca ll it “Bla ck Love Da y”.
F or t h e n ext sever a l da ys, m or e idea s a bou t Bla ck Love Da y kept com in g t o m e. I
a lso kept r eflect in g on wh y t h e Cr ea t or wou ld give m e su ch a ca llin g. Su r e, I‟d h a d
sever a l ot h er dir ect con ver sa t ion s wit h t h e Cr ea t or befor e n ow, dir ect in g m e, t u r n in g m e
a r ou n d a n d givin g m e t h e st r en gt h a n d ca pa bilit y t o cr ea t e beyon d m y wildest
im a gin a t ion a n d per ceived r esou r ces. I r em em ber ed t h e bir t h of P osit ive E n er gy
Newslet t er wh ich st a r t ed a s t h e divin e in spir a t ion of m y fr ien d, E a r l Koger , J r , wh o
sh a r ed t h e idea wit h m e on e da y, a n d sa id h e kn ew it wa s “m y ca llin g”. Th e con cept of
P osit ive E n er gy, t h e n ewslet t er a n d a for ce in m y life, con t in u ed for 9 gr owt h -filled,
yea r s. I r em em ber ed, som e 12 yea r s a go, t h e em ot ion a l ba gga g e of m y pa st r ela t ion sh ips
t h a t h elped t r igger m y own u n con sciou s self-a bu se in a 2-yea r a ddict ion t o a lcoh ol a n d
coca in e, a n d I r em em ber t h e da y wh en I fell on m y kn ees a n d plea ded for spir it u a l
deliver a n ce fr om t h e Cr ea t or , t o en a ble m e t o st op m yself . I felt deliver ed, sh or t ly
t h er ea ft er , t h r ou gh t h e gr a ce a n d m er cy of t h e Cr ea t or t o begin a fa it h wa lk t owa r ds
spir it u a l a n d wh olist ic r ecover y.
Th en , I r eflect ed on t h e bir t h of m y n on -pr ofit , or ga n iza t ion , Th e Afr ica n Am er ica n
H olida y Associa t ion (AAH A), t h a t I sa y I a m t h e fou n der a n d dir ect or of. H owever , I a m
on ly ser vin g t h e Cr ea t or ‟s m ission a s a co-cr ea t or , beca u se t h is idea a ct u a lly ca m e t o m e,
on e n igh t a s I wa s pr epa r in g a pu blic r ela t ion s piece for t h e Afr ica n Am er ica n H olida y
E xpo (st ill a n ot h er m ir a cle st or y in m y life) wh ich is a n a n n u a l even t t h a t I h a d been
blessed t o pr odu ce sin ce 1982.
I t h ou gh t of t h e h om es t h a t I h a d lost a n d t h e bet t er
on es t h a t h a d com e t o r epla ce t h em , t h r ou gh t h e Cr ea t or ‟s blessin gs; t h e fr ien ds a n d
r ela t ion sh ips t h a t I h a d h elped a n d t h e m a n y m or e t h a t h a d been sen t by t h e Cr ea t or , t o
h elp m e a lon g m y wa y; t h e m on ey t h a t a lwa ys ca m e, n ot in m y t im e, bu t a lwa ys in t h e
Cr ea t or ‟s t im e -- con st a n t r ea ffir m a t ion of t h e “God -for ce” a t wor k in m y life blessin g
m e wit h m y fa it h wor kin g for m e. Yes, I h a d exper ien ced over a n d over a ga in , wh en t h e
Creator says “let it B E – it IS ! ”.
H owever , I st ill pon der ed, “wh y did t h is idea of a da y of Bla ck Love, com e t o m e?”. I
bega n t o t h in k ba ck, a n d r em em ber ed t h a t I h a d been pr a yin g for per fect wor k t o ser ve,
so, I su bm it t ed t h a t t h is idea per h a ps wa s t h e m a n ifest a t ion of t h is pr a yer . Th en , t h e
t ot a l u n der st a n din g ca m e t o m e wh ile in m edit a t ion . As a specia l even t s coor din a t or ,
or ga n izer , a n d fou n der /dir ect or of, AAH A, wh ose m ission wa s t o per pet u a t e a n d pr eser ve
cu lt u r e t h r ou gh t r a dit ion a l a n d n on -t r a dit ion a l h olida ys, celebr a t ion s a n d r it u a ls, it wa s
qu it e a ppr opr ia t e t o be given su ch a ca llin g t o develop a n d pr odu ce a n even t ca lled Bla ck
Love Da y. Bu t , it soon ca m e t o m e sh or t ly, t h er ea ft er , t h a t t h is cou ld n ot be ju st a m er e,
con sciou s-r a isin g, specia l even t pr ogr a m . No, I r ea lized -- I h a d been given a n ot h er ,
spir it u a l m ission t o develop a n ew h olida y t h a t wou ld h elp Bla ck people, wor ld -wide,
h ea l t h r ou gh love! Th u s, a h olida y or "wh olyda y" a ct u a lly evolved som e 44 da ys a ft er
t h a t bu s r ide on a su n n y, wa r m da y in J a n u a r y in wh ich t h e Cr ea t or ga ve m e t h e a n swer
13
t o "wh a t t o do t o st op t h e violen ce?".
Th e fir st obser va n ce of Bla ck Love Da y occu r r ed on Sa t u r da y, F ebr u a r y 13, 1993,
in t r odu ced a t a wh olist ic h ea lt h fa ir coor din a t ed by AAH A in h on or of t h e n ew h olida y.
Th e con cept wa s pr om ot ed on r a dio, t elevision a n d in pr in t , a n d t h e com m u n it y
a ccept a n ce wa s im m edia t e. Of a ll people, Dor ot h y Gillia m , a lon g -t im e a ssocia t e a n d on e
of t h e m ost well-r espect ed, r epor t er s for Th e Wa sh in gt on P ost , h ea r d m e spea k on E r n est
Wh it e‟s “Cr oss-Ta lk” sh ow on WDCU a bou t BLD a n d ca lled m e in for a n in t er view. H er
st or y, pr in t ed in t h e P ost on t h e da t e of t h e fir st BLD ga ve it a gr ea t loca l h ea d-st a r t a s
well a s n a t ion a l exposu r e.
BLD bega n t o evolve im m edia t ely. A br ief 3 m on t h s a ft er t h e fir st BLD, I m et
J a ba r e Ma lik Cla r y a n d we fell in love. I believed J a ba r e wa s t h e sou l m a t e t h a t I h a d
spir it u a lly a sked for . Ou r fa st r om a n ce a n d m a r r ia ge in a com m u n it y weddin g in
Ma lcolm X P a r k, wa s a dr ea m com e t r u e. J a ba r e, a pr ofou n d fin e a r t ist , r ea lly
a ppr ecia t ed BLD. On e da y, du r in g m edit a t ion , h e r eceived h is own spir it u a l m essa ge
a bou t BLD‟s dir ect ion . Th e or igin a l m essa ge t h a t I h a d con ceived spoke of BLD a s
t h e oppor t u n it y for Bla cks on ly t o r ega in t h eir self-love a n d est eem t o t a ke ba ck t h eir
dr u g a n d violen t -r idden com m u n it ies by u sin g love in a ct ion . Bu t , t o m y h u sba n d
J a ba r e, t h e ver y per son wh o h a d m a n y n ega t ive per cept ion s fr om h is exposu r e livin g
da y t o da y wit h r a cist , Wh it e people in h is h om et own F lor ida , ir on ica lly ca m e a differ en t ,
divin e in spir a t ion t h a t su ggest ed t h a t for t h e secon d BLD, we en cou r a ge Wh it es t o a lso
pa r t icipa t e in BLD. I m edit a t ed on h is in spir a t ion , a n d m y in n er voice con cu r r ed t h a t h e
h a d been t r u ly gu ided in or der t o sen d BLD in a n a n ot h er dir ect ion of h ea lin g
r ela t ion sh ips.
Th u s, n ew con cept s ca m e t h a t wou ld posit ion BLD a s pa r t of t h e solu t ion for r a cia l
r econ cilia t ion by h elpin g Wh it es h ea l fr om t h eir collect ive pa in , gu ilt a n d den ia l in h er en t
fr om t h eir for efa t h er ‟s oppr essive beh a vior . Wh ile Bla cks m a y be a ct in g ou t t h eir pa st
a n ger in t h eir own com m u n it ies, Wh it es seem t o be a ct in g ou t t h eir gu ilt , in t h e for m of
divisive con t r ol, h a t e cr im es t owa r ds ot h er cu lt u r es a n d violen t , a lien a t ed beh a vior
t u r n ed on t h em selves – a ll wr on gfu l beh a vior s a n d a t t it u des wh ich keeps t h eir h ea r t s
h a r den ed a n d t h eir sen sit ivit ies clou ded t o exper ien ce t h eir h igh er spir it u a l selves. B LD
t h er efor e evolved a s a da y of wh olist ic h ea lin g, h a r m on y a n d r eu n ifica t ion of all of God ’s
creation s back to th eir w h ole selves, en a blin g Bla cks, a s oppr essed, vict im ized people, t o
t r a n sfor m t h r ou gh t h e spir it u a l, lovin g a ct of for given ess a n d en a blin g Wh it es, a s
per pet r a t or s of r a cism a n d oppr ession , t o t r a n sfor m t h r ou gh spir it u a lly sh owin g “love in
a ct ion ”.
By 1994, t h r ou gh t h e gr a ce a n d in spir a t ion of t h e Cr ea t or , I felt gu ided t h a t it wa s
t im e t o offer a defin it ive, h ow-t o r esou r ce book so t h a t m a n y m or e people cou ld be
in t r odu ced t o BLD. Sin ce I h a d begu n t o r eceive ca lls fr om per son s ou t side of D.C. wh o
m en t ion ed t h ey h a d h ea r d of BLD eit h er t h r ou gh h ea r in g m e on r a dio or fr om som eon e
wh o pa ssed a lon g t h e m essa ge of t h e n ew wh olyda y. Bu t , du r i n g t h a t yea r , m y life
ch a n ged dir ect ion s dr a st ica lly. I h a d t o a dju st t o m y n ew m a r r ia ge t o J a ba r e, wh ich wa s
a lr ea dy begin n in g t o be st r a in ed a s r ea lit y su r fa ced u p fr om t h e love -a t -fir st -sigh t
illu sion s. Th en , violen ce dir ect ly ca m e t o m y h om e wh en m y secon d son Ra sh id wa s h it
14
on t h e h ea d, wen t in t o a com a , a n d pa ssed fr om t h is ea r t h ju st 3 weeks in t o h is 17 t h
bir t h da y. Six m on t h s a ft er Ra sh id‟s dea t h , m y fa t h er pa ssed, a ft er a 2 -yea r illn ess
wit h br a in ca n cer . It wa s so m u ch goin g on in m y life t h a t I on ly ga t h er ed m a t er ia l for
t h e book a n d wr ot e a few ch a pt er s.
In t h is yea r , we h eld t h e 2 n d BLD r ela t ion sh ip pr ogr a m a t D.C.‟s cen t r a l libr a r y, Th e
Ma r t in Lu t h er Kin g J r . Br a n ch , com plet e wit h wor ksh ops a n d for t h e fir st t im e, t h e
in t r odu ct ion of t h e Bla ck Love Rit u a l. I a lso r em em ber in t h a t yea r , h ow t h e m edia
h igh ly pr om ot ed a ll of AAH A‟s a ct ivit ies, like BLD a n d t h e H olida y E xpo, beca u se of
t h eir in t er est in t h e sen sa t ion a lism su r r ou n din g t h e su dden dea t h of m y son Ra sh id.
Wa t ch in g t h eir h eigh t en ed r espon se t a u gh t m e h ow t h e m edia m or e oft en r espon ds t o
n ega t ive n ews t h a n “good” n ews, pa r t icu la r ly t o st er eot ype com m u n it ies of color . Th e
ot h er lesson s t h a t I lea r n ed fr om Ra sh id‟s dea t h , wa s t h a t life is n ot pr om ised t o u s, so
it ‟s im por t a n t t o live ea ch da y t o t h e fu llest a s if it ‟s t h e la st . Th ese lesson s m ot iva t ed
m e, even m or e, t o spr ea d t h e “good -n ews”, Bla ck Love m essa ge ou t side of m y h om e-ba se,
D.C.
A yea r la t er , BLD wa s fea t u r ed in t h e Wa sh in gt on P ost by St a ff wr it er , DeNe en
Br own , wh o wr ot e a power fu l a r t icle on m y decision t o r evisit 7 t h St r eet t o spr ea d t h e
m essa ge of t h a t yea r ‟s u pcom in g Bla ck Love Da y.
My m ission t h a t da y, wa s t o
en cou r a ge ever yon e t o st op figh t in g sin ce, I‟d h ea r d, t h a t som e of t h e sa m e r iva l ga n gs
t h a t h a d been livin g for yea r s in m y old down t own Sh a w n eigh bor h ood wh er e I‟d r a ised
m y son s for a lm ost 13 yea r s a n d wh er e in deed, Ra sh id‟s la st violen t a t t a ck occu r r ed on
t h e Sh a w sch ool pla ygr ou n d -- wer e a t wa r a ga in . I kn ew t h ey n eeded a r em in der t h a t
BLD wa s a da y of pea ce a n d r econ cilia t ion ; a da y t h a t even ga n gs cou ld u se t o pea cefu lly
pu t down t h eir “so-ca lled-beefs” wit h ou t pu t t in g down t h eir “m a n h ood”. A lot of t h e
br ot h er s wer e gla d t o see m e a n d pr om ised t h a t t h ey wou ld la y dow n t h eir “pieces”
on F eb. 13. I wa s t old la t er , t h a t som e a ct u a lly did.
F r om t h a t yea r on , a n ot h er r ole of BLD wa s iden t ified in t h e r a llyin g sloga n “st op t h e
violen ce, a n d in cr ea se t h e pea ce” t o h elp st op t h e m a dn ess t h a t wa s a br u pt ly cu t t in g
sh or t t h e lives of so m a n y Bla ck you t h . E ven t h ou gh , so m a n y you n g people did die
in t h a t sa m e n eigh bor h ood in a sh or t 2 yea r s of t h e a r t icle‟s pr in t in g, in clu din g t h e you n g
m a n wh o posed in t h e 7 t h St r eet ph ot o wit h m e, F u zzie, wh o wa s sh ot a n d killed ju st a
yea r la t er , m a n y pa r en t s of sla in you t h s in dica t ed t h a t BLD h a d offer ed t h em gr ea t
com for t wit h it s r it u a l for pa in r elea se, for given ess, pu blic or pr iva t e a pology a n d t h e
dem on st r a t ion of love in a ct ion .
In t h e yea r , 1995, we offer ed a Rela t ion s h ip F a ir for t h e 3 r d BLD h eld a t On e
J u dicia r y Squ a r e, t h e down t own , office bu ildin g of t h e m a yor of t h e Dist r ict of Colu m bia .
Th is a ll da y fa ir of ven dor s con sist ed of Bla ck Love gift s, wor ksh ops a n d h ypn osis by Dr .
Ch a r les F in ch on qu a lit y r ela t ion sh ip s.
Th is wa s t h e la st yea r , t h a t AAH A h eld a pr ogr a m t h a t in clu ded ven dor s, beca u se we
wer e given a n ot h er divin e m essa ge t h a t t h e pu blic wa s get t in g t h e wr on g idea a bou t
BLD. I wa s in st r u ct ed t h a t it wa s m or e im por t a n t for AAH A t o in st it u t ion a lize Bla ck
Love Da y a s a wh oly da y obser va n ce, n ot a pr ogr a m or even t a s fir st in t r odu ced a n d t o
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pr ovide t h e veh icle of t h e Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y in or der t o officia t e t h e
“r it u a l of r econ cilia t ion “. H a vin g t h is la st even t , h owever , a t t h e office of t h en Ma yor ,
Ma r ion Ba r r y, wh o wa s h a vin g h is own Bla ck Love issu es, wa s a blessin g, a n d we wer e
a ga in given good pr om ot ion a l, t .v. cover a ge, pr in t a n d r a dio exposu r e du r in g t h is t im e.
Th e wor k of BLD con t in u ed t o spr ea d.
Th en , on Oct ober 16, 1995, a s I wa t ch ed Min ist er Lou is F a r r a kh a n 's t elevised speech
a t Th e Million Ma n Ma r ch , I h ea r d t h e spir it u a l ca llin g, lou dly t h is t im e, sa yin g, "it 's
t im e t o fin ish t h a t book". P er h a ps, it wa s seein g t h e m om en t u m of love a n d "posit ive
en er gy" gen er a t ed by t h e m illion s , wh o ca m e t oget h er in u n it y a n d pea ce a t t h e m a r ch
t h a t pr om pt ed t h e Cr ea t or t o en cou r a ge m e. P er h a ps, it wa s Br ot h er F a r r a kh a n 's
descr ipt ion of t h e eigh t st eps of a t on em en t a n d r ea lizin g t h a t I t oo, h a d in clu ded
a t on em en t a n d for given ess in t h e BLD con cept fr om it s on set in 1993. P er h a ps it wa s t h e
exper ien ce of seein g h ow h u m ble t h e h u m a n sea of m en em br a ced t h ese con cept s a n d
h ow sin cer ely t h ey sh ou t ed ou t t h e Million Ma n Ma r ch pledge, t h a t r ea ffir m ed t h a t I wa s
on t h e r igh t t r a ck wit h ou r BLD pledge. Th e seed t h ou gh t wa s r e-im pla n t ed; I picked u p
m y pen a n d st a r t ed off wh er e I h a d left t h e off.
H owever , t o pr odu ce a gu ide book by t h is t im e wa s st ill t r u ly opt im ist ic. Du e t o m y
h ect ic sch edu le of wor k, fa m ily a n d per son a l developm en t , a lon g wit h a n u m ber of
u n for eseen ch a llen ges, com plet in g a book, by t h is n ew, self-im posed dea dlin e, pr oved t o
be m or e t h a n a n ot ion for m e. My m a r r ia ge wa s defin it ely in t r ou ble a n d I wa s
st r u gglin g wit h m yself a n d m y own Bla ck Love issu es. I did h owever , con du ct t h e 4 t h
Bla ck Love Da y, Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y in 1996, t o h elp h ea l a n d bon d r ela t ion sh ips
bet ween st u den t s, t ea ch er s a n d pa r en t s t h r ou gh a pr ogr a m pr esen t ed a t H in e J u n ior
H igh Sch ool. Th is BLD r ela t ion sh ip cer em on y, co-spon sor ed by AAH A a n d m y dea r
fr ien d, Va len cia Moh a m m ed, wh o wa s ser vin g a t t h a t t im e a s Sch ool-boa r d Rep-At La r ge, offer ed su ggest ion s on com m u n ica t ion , con flict r esolu t ion a n d t h e t h er a peu t ic
va lu e of h u gs – a ll m et h ods t o r eju ven a t e t h e love vibr a t ion s in D.C.‟s t r ou bled, pu blic
sch ool syst em .
It wa s a lso in 1996, a s I m oved t h r ou gh ou t t h e com m u n it y or ga n izin g, br ot h er s a n d
sist er s fr om t h e Mot h er la n d bega n sh a r in g wit h m e in for m a t ion a bou t t r a dit ion a l
Afr ica n love cer em on ies a n d r it u a ls. Th eir sh a r in g m ot iva t ed m e t o r esea r ch a n d
docu m en t ou r Afr ica n lega cy of love, fa m ily a n d r ela t ion sh ip cu st om s. My in it ia l
r esea r ch discover ed on ly t h e r u dim en t s of t h e in for m a t ion t h a t I wa s seekin g. Bu t I wa s
st ill excit ed t o fin d sligh t r efer en ces t o som e of t h e Afr ica n t r a dit ion a l love r it u a ls a n d
a t on em en t cer em on ies t h a t a r e t h e pr eceden t s of t h e Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y
a n d t h e Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion – r it es t h a t I h a d n o idea even exist ed befor e we
developed ou r own BLD r it u a l. I sen sed t r em en dou s r ea ffir m a t ion t h a t t h e Cr ea t or h a d
power fu l “br idge-bu ildin g” wor k for BLD a n d I felt a west r u ck a t t h e Cr ea t or ‟s con t in u ed
u se of m e a s a ch a n n el in t h is pr ocess.
Th en , in Oct ober , 1996, m y life su dden ly seem ed t o ca ve -in a r ou n d m e, a s I beca m e
qu it e depr essed wit h gr ief, a n ger , a n d deep-sea t ed, u n for given ess t h a t h a d sm older ed in
m y h ea r t sin ce t h e dea t h s of m y son , Ra sh id a n d m y Da d. Th e Cr ea t or , on ce m or e
br ou gh t t o m e ju st wh a t I n eeded in t h e for m of r e -lea r n in g h ow t o br ea t h e cor r ect ly.
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Th r ou gh t h e In t er n a t ion a l Br ea t h In st it u t e a n d t h e t ea ch in g in st r u ct ion of a ver y
com pa ssion a t e E u r opea n wom a n , Am y Sh eesly, I com plet ed t h e n ecessa r y cr edit h ou r s
t o be cer t ified a s a Tr a n sfor m a t ion a l Br ea t h F a cilit a t or . As m y h a r den ed h ea r t , r e open ed t h r ou gh t h e “br ea t h wor k”, I exper ien ced t h e m ost m em or a ble spir it u a l r ea wa ken in g of m y life. I felt in t h is t r a n sfor m a t ion com plet e r eju ven a t ion of t h e love t h a t
occu r s for on e‟s self a n d for ot h er s, wh en you let go of n ega t ive t h ou gh t s, em ot ion s a n d
for give wit h a ll of you r h ea r t . I wa s ch a n ged, for ever , a n d st a r t ed a m ission t o h ea l
ot h er s t h r ou gh t h e br ea t h .
In 1997, t h e 5 t h Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y wa s h eld a t t h e Reeves Cen t er , a
D. C. m u n icipa l cen t er in t h e for m er r iot -t or n a r ea of 14 & U St s., N.W. We pr esen t ed a t
t h is cer em on y, a “h ea lin g for a fr a ct u r ed cit y a n d n a t ion ”, in h on or of t h e violen t sla yin g
of a 12 yea r -old - Da r r yl H a ll- gu n n ed down by you n g ga n g m em ber s in S.E . P r ior t o
BLD 1997, I a t t em pt ed on ce a ga in t o h a ve a com plet ed wor k bu t wa s ju st t oo in volved
wit h m y own h ea lin g a n d gr owt h a t t h a t t im e. A close a ssocia t e, Ra fiki Ca i, list en ed on e
a ft er n oon a s I expla in ed t o h im m y vision for t h e h a lf-fin ish ed book. Ra fiki, su dden ly felt
t h e Cr ea t or sh a r e a n in spir a t ion a n d h e excit edly t old m e over t h e ph on e, “M a ke you r
book in t o a dyn a m ic a n t h ology!” Well, Ra fiki, h a s t h is pr ofou n d wa y in wh ich h e oft en
expr esses t h e Cr ea t or ‟s m essa ges spea kin g t h r ou gh h im . H e sin cer ely bu t st r on gly
st a t ed , “E n cou r a ge ot h er wr it er s t o su bm it t o t h e book t h eir t r a n sfor m in g vi ews a n d
h ea lin g con cept s a n d en cou r a ge t h e wr it er s t o collect ively sh a r e in t h e r epr in t a n d
dist r ibu t ion r igh t s. Th is wa y, t h e book will gr ow a s a dyn a m ic wor k t h r ou gh t h e
collect ive en er gy of a ll it s‟ con t r ibu t or s self-pu blish in g effor t s!” So, t h e Bla ck Love Book
a s “a n a n t h ology” wa s bor n , wh ich t ook m e in a n ot h er in n ova t ive dir ect ion . I wa s r e in spir ed wit h t h is a ppr oa ch beca u se n ow t h e en t ir e r espon sibilit y of wr it in g a bou t a va st
su bject like love wa s n ot a ll m in e. I picked u p t h e wr it in g a ga in , de t er m in ed t o fin ish t h e
book by BLD, 1998.
Bu t , it wa sn ‟t t o be, du e t o so m a n y life ch a n gin g exper ien ces wh ich h a ppen ed a ft er
F ebr u a r y. In Ma y, 1997, I wa s a sked t o r epr esen t D.C. a s t h e Wa sh in gt on Met r opolit a n
Region a l Ch a ir per son for t h e Million Wom a n Ma r ch (MWM) by t h e seven P h ila delph ia
sist er in it ia t or s of t h e m a r ch . In a sh or t five m on t h s of m y effor t s, I lea r n ed a bou t
a ga pe love in it s t r u est sen se a s I wa t ch ed h u n dr eds of sist er s ext en d t h eir h a n ds t o
ot h er sist er s in love, su ppor t , a n d solida r it y. Un for t u n a t ely, t h er e wer e a lso som e ot h er
pa in fu l r ela t ion sh ip elem en t s wor kin g in t h is effor t a n d I lea r n ed h er e, t h a t wh en on e is
per pet r a t in g love, it cr ea t es con fu sion , especia lly in m a ss or ga n izin g. Aft er bein g
br ou gh t in t o t h e effor t -- wor kin g in t en sely t o m obilize a lot of people; t h en kicked ou t of
t h e m obiliza t ion du e t o spir a lin g, cr a zy m isu n der st a n din gs, I con t in u ed t o wor k a n ywa y
despit e t h e con fu sion . Sist er Br en da J on es (BJ ), on e of t h e or igin a l seven , wh o beca m e
su ch a r igh t eou s spir it u a l for ce, a sked m e ba ck in t o t h e m obiliza t ion du r in g t h e la st
m on t h of t h e Ma r ch t o pr odu ce a n a t ion a l pu blic r ela t ion s ca m pa ign . F eelin g bet r a yed
bu t lovin g m y people so m u ch t o go pa st t h e in t en se r ela t ion sh ip ch a llen ges t h a t
t h r ea t en ed t o colla pse t h e Ma r ch , I pu sh ed m yself t o t h e lim it s t o pr om ot e MWM n a t ion wide. I a dm it t h a t wit h a ll of t h e or ga n izin g con t r over sies a n d fa st pa ce, it h a d left m e
kin da n u m b a n d bu r n t ou t by t h e da y of t h e MWM, h eld in P h ila delph ia , P a ., Oct ober 25,
1997. Bu t , t o exper ien ce t h e posit ive en er gy of a n est im a t ed 2.5 m illion wom en ja m m ed
in t o Ben ja m in F r a n klin P a r kwa y t h a t da y, r em in ded m e a s t o wh y I love m y wor k, m y
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Sist er s in t h e st r u ggle a n d m y people. In sh a lla h , m y in side ch r on icle on t h e MWM, is
a n ot h er book in side of m e wh ich , I‟m su r e in t h e fu t u r e, will be wr it t en by m e beca u se
t h e t r u e (h er ) st or y of MWM m u st be t old.
Bu t befor e I cou ld ba r ely ga sp for a ir , I exper ien ced a n ot h er life sa ga in wh ich vit a l
elem en t s of love in m y “wor ld” t r a n sit ion ed over . My fir st h u sba n d a n d fr ien d, Da m a n i
pa ssed a wa y a ft er m on t h s of illn ess in Novem ber , 1997. Th en h is m om , m y m ot h er -in la w, Ms. H a n dy, su dden ly h a d a h ea r t a t t a ck, I believe beca u se h er h ea r t felt br oken
a lm ost exa ct ly a m on t h a ft er h er on ly son ‟s dea t h . Sh e pa ssed a wa y in J a n u a r y, 1998.
Th en h er h u sba n d, m y fa t h er -in -la w, Mr . H a n dy, pa ssed a wa y Ma r ch 1998, a m on t h a n d
½ a ft er h is wife‟s pa ssin g. I kn ew h ow con n ect ed t h ey h a d been in life, a n d h a d t o a ccept ,
wh a t a ppea r ed like a love pa ct t h a t t h ey a ll h a d m a de, t o lea ve t h is ea r t h t oget h er .
Bu r yin g t h em , r e-bon din g wit h m y 26 yea r -old son , Ako a n d h is n ew fa m ily, in t h e
H a n dy‟s fa m ily h om e, t h en t h e slow, pa in st a kin g pr oba t e pr ocess t h a t occu r r ed,
t u r n ed ou t t o be a n ot h er love jou r n ey.
In t h e m ea n t im e, I a lso sepa r a t ed fr om m y 6 yea r -old, dr a m a -filled m a r r ia ge wit h
J a ba r e. Th r ou gh ou t , t h is yea r , I lea r n ed t h e va lu e of u n con dit ion a l love, pa t ien ce a n d
t r u ly let t in g go a n d let t in g God. Th e fa it h t h a t pu lled m e t h r ou gh t h ese m a n y ch a n ges, I
believe, ca m e fr om t h e deepen ed, spir it u a l st r en gt h I h a d ga in ed fr om dem on st r a t in g t h e
5 a ct s of love (t en et s) of Bla ck Love Da y -- sh owin g love for t h e Cr ea t or , love for self, for
m y fa m ily, for m y com m u n it y a n d for t h e Bla ck r a ce. In t h ese t wo yea r s, I defin it ely
exper ien ced m a n y t h in gs t h a t cou ld h a ve cr u sh ed m y spir it , bu t t h e love t h a t expa n ded
in m y h ea r t , despit e t h ese m a n y ch a llen ges, left m e wit h n o r egr et s. I fou n d in st ea d,
t h a t a t t h e en d of 1998, I felt r eju ven a t ed, m or e r ecept ive of m y n eeds a n d open t o
r ela t ion sh ips, t h a n ever befor e.
By la t e Decem ber , 1999, t h e Cr ea t or filled m y h ea d a ga in wit h t h e u r ge t o “fin ish t h e
book”. As t h e n ew m illen n iu m a n d New Yea r da wn ed, I wa s ba ck wit h pen in h a n d. It ‟s
qu it e obviou s t o m e t h a t t h e Cr ea t or h a d a m a st er pla n in pu sh in g m e t o com plet e t h e
book in J a n u a r y, 2000. In n u m er ology t h e n u m ber 2 h olds t h e en er gy of cooper a t ion a n d
wor kin g t oget h er , so yea r 2000 h eld t h e pr om ise of coa lit ion bu ildin g a n d effect ive
pa r t n er in g for qu a lit y r ela t ion sh ips. Seem ed m ost fit t in g t h a t a defin it ive, h ow -t o
obser ve BLD book wit h lot s of h elpfu l, r ela t ion sh ip bu ildin g idea s a n d t ech n iqu es, be
pu blish ed t h a t yea r . So in t h e eigh t h yea r of BLD, I wa s so gr a t efu l t h a t t h e wor k for
t h e book wa s com plet ed, a t lea st for t h e fir st pu blish in g. As a dyn a m ic a n t h ology,
h owever , t h e book wou ld n ever r ea lly be com plet ed a n d wou ld a lwa ys gr ow a n d ch a n ge.
J u st a s t h e book wou ld a lwa ys expa n d wit h n ew love expr ession s, wr it in gs a n d poem s, so
h a s Bla ck Love Da y, a s a com m em or a t ive, wh olyda y expa n d a n d develop. In t h is en t ir e
evolu t ion a r y pr ocess, I h a ve been so blessed t o a lso expa n d a n d con t in u e t o develop wit h
ea ch m ir a cle of per son a l a n d u n iver sa l t r a n sfor m a t ion t h a t occu r s a r ou n d m e du e t o t h e
t a sks of fou n din g t h is pr ofou n d da y. Th in gs t h a t I r ea d, people t h a t I m et -- a ll sor t s of
per spect ives - h a ve com e t o m e, en a blin g m e t o expa n d u pon t h e or igin a l m ission , t h e
m et h ods a n d t h e possibilit ies of Bla ck Love Da y.
Bla ck Love Da y (BLD) a n d it s “Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion ” h a ve been ga in in g in
popu la r it y sin ce 1993. It h a s been h igh ly pu blicized on r a dio, TV. pr in t a n d on t h e
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In t er n et . F r on t -pa ge a r t icles h a ve been wr it t en a bou t BLD in t h e Wa sh in gt on P ost by
t wo a wa r d-win n in g colu m n ist s, Dor ot h y Gillia m a n d DeNeen Br own . It ‟s been fea t u r ed
in NNP A (Th e Na t ‟l Bla ck Newspa per Assoc.‟s) over 200 syn dica t ed n ewspa per s , Th e
Associa t ed P r ess, CNN a r t icles, Wa sh in gt on In for m er , Th e Afr o-Am er ica n Newspa per
a n d F lor ida A & M Un iver sit y Ca m pu s Ma ga zin e (F AMU J ou r n a l). E bon y a n d E ssen ce
Ma ga zin e h a ve a lso pu blish ed F ebr u a r y Bla ck Love Issu es for yea r s.
H a n dy-Ken di h a s been a fr equ en t gu est on m a n y syn dica t ed t a lk sh ows: Am er ica n
Ur ba n Ra dio‟s Bev Sm it h Sh ow over 300 St a t ion s; a wa r d-win n in g, Tom J oyn er ‟s
Mor n in g Sh ow, Met r o News, syn dica t ed t o over 100 a ffilia t es; ABC‟s Sm oot h J a zz 105.9
h ost , Tom Gr oom es; P a cifica Net wor k News a n d WP F W -F M; CNN News, WUSA, WJ LA
a n d XM-t h e P ower wit h h ost Ma r k Th om pson (Msim ela Mfu m e) a t r em en dou s su ppor t er
over t h e yea r s a n d r a dio h ost , Ber n ie McCa in . In t er n a t ion a l in t er views in clu de Voice of
Am er ica over 22 n a t ion s; BBC, Br a zil a n d Ca n a da .
BLD h a s been r ecen t ly list ed in “J UBILE E ! A Yea r of Afr ica n -Am er ica n Celebr a t ion
2003, a ca len da r of Th e Sm it h son ia n An a cost ia Mu seu m a n d Cen t er for Afr ica n
Am er ica n H ist or y a n d Cu lt u r e”; wa s list ed in t h e Afr iCa len da r ou t of Ca n a da a n d h a s for
sever a l yea r s been list ed in t h e n a t ion a lly dist r ibu t ed, “Th e Bla ck Seeds Ca len da r ”. Th e
a u t oh or it ive “Ch a se‟s Gu ide t o An n u a l E ven t s” h a ve list e d Bla ck Love Da y for yea r s.
Au t h or F r a n k Wills a lso list ed Bla ck Love Da y, a s a via ble a lt er n a t ive t o Va len t in e‟s Da y
in h is book, “H ow t o Ma ke Love t o a Rea l Bla ck Ma n – a dvice t o Bla ck Wom en fr om a
Bla ck Ma n , ISBN: 1-56411-352-3, pu blish ed 2005.
Alon g t h e wa y, Bla ck Love Da y h it t h e In t er n et wit h Google Sea r ch E n gin es n ot in g
m a n y BLD en t r ies. Mela Net .com la u n ch ed t h e fir st BLD globa l ch a t pa ge a n d m a n y
in t er n et sit es h a ve fea t u r ed Bla ck Love Da y. As a fr equ en t gu est on H a r a m bee In t er n et
Ra dio, own er Da la n i Am on , h a s been a r ea l ch a m pion of BLD
Wa sh in gt on , D.C., h a s h ost ed t h e officia l Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh i p Cer em on y sin ce
in cept ion , 1993. Ma n y ot h er com m u n it ies h a ve h ost ed Bla ck Love cer em on ies h eld on
F eb 13 or ot h er wise. In D. C., Kym on e F r eem a n , a n ex-gen er a t ion a ct ivist /a wa r dwin n in g pla ywr igh t , cr ea t ed t h e a n n u a l Bla ck Lu v F est iva l in 1997 h eld in t h e F a ll of
ea ch yea r , focu sin g on H IV/AIDS a wa r en ess a n d a llowin g m e t o ser ve a s t h e officia l
“gr a n dm ot h er ” t o t h e fest iva l. Br ot h er J oh n son La n ca st er a n d h is Afr ica n -cen t er ed,
E m por iu m Bookst or e fellowsh ip in St . Lou is, Missou r i, h eld t h e fir st Bla ck Love
Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y, ou t side of D. C.
A D.C. ba sed Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip
Cer em on y wh ich h ost ed t h e H .E . Cyr ille S. Ogu in , t h e Am ba ssa dor of Ben in , led t o a n
in vit a t ion t o officia t e a Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion cer em on y in Ben in West Afr ica . Th is wa s
on e of t h e h igh ligh t s of m y life, officia t in g t h is cer em on y offer ed a t t h e “Ga t e of Ret u r n ”
for t h e 2005 Root s a n d Gospel F est iva l r econ cilin g Ben in ‟s du plicit y in t h e Tr a n s
At la n t ic Sla ve Tr a de, wh er e m illion s of Afr ica n s left t h e sh or es of t h e con t in en t .
Th r ou gh t h e effor t s of Br ot h er Ma n ifest , fou n der of H a ppily Na t u r a l Da y, we h ost ed t h e
3 r d officia l Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y, in 2008, in Rich m on d, VA. Ma n y college
ca m pu ses h a ve a lso h eld cer em on ies, n ot a bly, F AMU (F lor ida A & M), Ubiqu it y
or ga n iza t ion a t H owa r d Un iver sit y, Mor ga n St a t e College, Bowie Ma r yla n d, a n d
Ch a t ea m College in P en n sylva n ia . I ‟m a lso a wa r e of pr ogr a m s h eld a ll over t h e cou n t r y,
19
in t h e n a m e of Bla ck Love.
Like a n y a n d a ll h olida ys, n ow, Bla ck Love Da y pr odu ct s h a ve been developed. Bla ck own ed, in t er n a t ion a l gr eet in g ca r d com pa n y, Ku u m ba Kollect ibles, h a ve cr ea t ed a n d
dist r ibu t ed Bla ck Love Not es, a n d in St . Lou is, t h e fir st Bla ck Love Kit cr ea t ed by Kelly
Weedon , wa s cr ea t ed a n d dist r ibu t ed.
As Bla ck Love Da y obser va n ces expa n d, I en cou r a ge a n yon e wh o offer s a pr ogr a m
develops a pr odu ct , or pu blicizes t h e wh olyda y, in a n y wa y, P LE ASE , let AAH A kn ow
a bou t it , so we ca n keep r ecor din g t h e h ist or y of t h is people‟s m ovem en t .
It wa s du e t o t h is gr owin g in t er est in BLD t h a t m ot iva t ed m e t o self-pu blish t h is
h ow-t o gu ide t o in for m t h e com m u n it y a bou t t h e obser va n ce a n d docu m en t it s pr ogr ess.
Bea r wit h m e, a s t h is wh olyda y is st ill a ct u a lly a "wor k in pr ogr ess". In divin e or der ,
BLD will gr ow, In sh a lla h , (a s Alla h so wills) ju st like people a n d n a t u r e gr ow a n d
develop -- ch a n gin g con st a n t ly a n d a lwa ys, on ly wh en it is t im e for n ew m ovem en t a n d
r edir ect ion .
Sin ce BLD is posit ion ed du r in g Bla ck H ist or y Mon t h , ever y F ebr u a r y 13t h , t h r ou gh
t h e dem on st r a t ion s of love in a ct ion , we will a lso ch a n ge ou r selves a n d t r a n sfor m ou r
com m u n it ies. H ist or y is a n ever yda y pr ocess t h a t we CAN sign ifica n t ly a lt er t h r ou g h ou r
deeds. On ly by r ea ch in g ou t , t a kin g a st a n d a n d len din g a h a n d, ca n we m a ke h ist or y
h a ppen .
As we u se love a s t h e power fu l t ool t h a t it is, we will be ch a n gin g a n d ch a llen gin g t h e
pr esen t cou r se of Bla ck h ist or y a n d t h er eby ALL h ist or y. P u t t in g love in a ct ion will a lso
en a ble people of goodwill t o n o lon ger feel like h elpless vict im s, com pla in in g a n d a skin g,
“wh a t ca n I do” t o be m or e t h a n a m er e spect a t or of societ ies‟ r ela t ion sh ip ills.
Ult im a t ely, pu t t in g love in a ct ion is t a kin g per son a l r espon sibilit y t o r a ise t h e qu a lit y of
life for t h e pla n et . E ver y F eb .13 t h , t h ose wh o pr a ct ice r igh t h u m a n r ela t ion s t h is da y,
will be h ea lin g h u m a n it y for et er n it y!
So, I en cou r a ge you t o u se t h is book a n d t o t a ke pa r t in Bla ck Love Da y – F eb. 13!
Th en , r et u r n t o love t o h ea l a ll of you r r ela t ion sh ips. Be pa r t of h ist or y. “Ca u se h ist or y
n ever st a n ds st ill. Don 't let it m ove on wit h ou t you !”
In t h e Spir it of t h e Akom a (t h e h ea r t )
Ayo H a n dy-Ken di (for m er ly Ayo H a n dy-Cla r y) fou n der of Bla ck Love Da y, 1/21/2004
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An Introduction Essay to Black Love Day
by Ayo Handy Kendi
In t h e clim a t e in wh ich m a n y wer e wor kin g on t h e dest r u ct iven ess of Bla ck on Bla ck
cr im e a n d t h e sa d r ea lit y t h a t Bla ck you t h h a d a 1 in 4 ch a n ce of bein g killed or
in ca r cer a t ed befor e a ge 21, Bla ck Love Da y wa s bor n . Du r in g a t im e in h u m a n it y in
wh ich m a n y people wer e st r u gglin g wit h spir it u a lit y a n d in t er -per son a l issu es of iden t it y
a n d r oles, pr om pt in g m a n y r ela t ion sh ips a n d m a r r ia ges t o fa ll a pa r t , Bla ck Love Da y
wa s bor n . At a per iod in h ist or y, in wh ich t h e fa st pa ce of Am er ica n life pr odu ced h igh
levels of st r ess a n d a ch ievem en t pr essu r e, ca u sin g m a n y t o st r u ggle wit h su bst a n ce
a bu se, food, sex, ga m blin g or som e ot h er a ddict ion ju st t o cope, Bla ck Love Da y wa s
bor n . At a t im e in t h e wor ld in wh ich “in t im a cy” disea ses wer e t a kin g ou t people in la r ge
n u m ber s in t h eir ea r ly 20‟s a n d 30‟s, Bla ck Love Da y wa s bor n .
Wit h in t h is cr it ica l t im e per iod, wh er e m a n y a du lt s d idn ‟t kn ow if t h ey‟d h a ve a job
fr om week t o week t o be a ble t o t a ke ca r e of t h eir fa m ilies; wit h pover t y r a m pa n t in a
la n d of plen t y, wit h a widen in g ga p gr owin g bet ween t h e h a ves‟ a n d h a ve-n ot s, Bla ck
Love Da y wa s bor n . In a fr igh t en in g per iod of t im e, in wh ich we r ea d of ch ildr en bein g
a bu sed by a du lt s in fr igh t en in g wa ys; wh er e a lien a t ed, Wh it e you t h wer e killin g t h eir
cla ssm a t es, com m it t in g su icide a t a la r m in g r a t es, a n d ca r r yin g ou t r a cia l h a t e cr im es
like t h eir pa r en t s, Bla ck Love Da y wa s bor n . At t h e da wn in g of t h e n ew m illen n iu m
wh ich pr om ised “Age of Aqu a r iu s”, h u m a n it a r ia n beh a vior , yet st ill fa ced wit h Kla n
r a llies, ch u r ch bu r n in gs, con t in u ed br u t a l lyn ch in gs of Bla cks by Wh it es , n oose h a n gin g
t h r ea t s a n d n ews r em in der s of t h e exist en ce of fea r a n d r a cia l pola r iza t ion in t h e
Na t ion , Bla ck Love Da y wa s bor n .
Ma n y of t h e r ela t ion sh ip issu es, t oda y, a r e sim ila r t o t h ose t h a t wer e seen a t t h e
begin n in g of Bla ck Love Da y ( BLD) en vision ed a n d pr ocla im ed in 1993 by Sist er Ayo
H a n dy Ken di, a com m u n it y or ga n izer in Wa sh in gt on , D.C. Sh e is t h e F ou n der /
dir ect or of t h e Afr ica n Am er ica n H olida y Associa t ion (AAH A), a n on -pr ofit , t a xexem pt , 501 (c)(3) m em ber sh ip or ga n iza t ion . A spir it u a l m essa ge , fr om t h e Cr ea t or , wa s
given t o Sist er Ayo in spir in g h er t o develop BLD. Th e con cept h a s been ga in in g gr ea t er
a ccept a n ce ea ch yea r .
Bla ck Love Da y (BLD) is a com m em or a t ive h olida y or "wh olyda y” of obser va n ce,
celebr a t ion , r econ cilia t ion , a t on em en t , a n d dem on st r a t ion of love, sh owin g a t lea st 5
specific a ct s (t en et s) of love – t owa r ds t h e Cr ea t or , for self, for t h e fa m ily, for t h e Bla ck
com m u n it y a n d for t h e Bla ck r a ce. Wh it es sh ow “love in a ct ion ” for Bla cks a n d in spect
t h eir own r a cia l a t t it u des.
Th e object ive of BLD is t o en cou r a ge Bla cks t o t a ke a da y t o a ct ively r a ise t h em selves
u p t h r ou gh Bla ck self-love in st ea d of self-h a t r ed, by dem on st r a t in g love t h r ou gh ser vice,
celebr a t ion , for given ess, a pology, pu blic a n d pr iva t e r it u a ls of r econ cilia t ion a n d for
Wh it es t o t a ke t h e sa m e da y t o r a ise t h em selves u p, by bein g m or e r eflect ive of t h eir
r a cia l a t t it u des of fea r , gu ilt , den ia l a n d n ega t ive beh a vior s of wh it e pr ivilege, wh it e
su pr em a cy, pr eju dice, segr ega t ion a n d bigot r y . BLD offer s a ch a n ce t o u se t h e
t r a n sfor m a t ion a l, spir it u a l power of love, a s a h ea lin g t ool on t h e da y of F eb. 13.
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F ebr u a r y 13 wa s ch osen by t h e fou n der of BLD beca u se F ebr u a r y is t h e m on t h for
t h e obser va n ce of Bla ck H ist or y Mon t h a n d t h e n u m ber 13, in a st r ology a n d
m et a ph ysics, is t h e n u m ber of spir it u a l t r a n sfor m a t ion . As Bla ck people pu t love in
a ct ion a n d in volve t h em selves in t h e love r it u a ls of BLD, a n d a s Wh it es t a ke per son a l
in ven t or y of t h eir a t t it u des a n d be m or e m in dfu l in t h eir dem on st r a t ion of lovin g a ct s of
ser vice a n d kin dn ess t owa r ds Bla cks, t h is will h elp a ll people gr ow m or e spir it u a l. As
on e gr ows spir it u a lly, t h is in cr ea ses t h e a bilit y t o love. Th e r et u r n t o love is a h ea lin g
for ce a n d ca n be u sed a s a t ool t o a ddr ess m a n y of t h e dest r u ct ive beh a vior s,
disr espect fu l a t t it u des, a bu siven ess a n d self-h a t r ed wh ich fu els m u ch of t oda y's fa m ily
disr u pt ion , violen ce, r a cism , cr im e, a n ger a n d r a ce pola r it y. BLD offer s ju st on e solu t ion
t o m a ke a differ en ce t o in cr ea se t h e pea ce a n d st op t h e violen ce for all people.
BLD offer s a cu lt u r a l a n d wh olist ic a lt er n a t ive t o Va len t in e's Da y wh ose pr im a r y
focu s on r om a n t ic love bet ween cou ples, is ba sed on pa ga n E u r opea n cu lt u r e a n d r it u a ls,
a n d en cou r a ges Bla cks t o be m er e con su m er s, bu yin g t h e cu st om a r y Va len t in e t oken s of
a ffect ion . In st ea d, BLD offer s ea ch in dividu a l or fa m ily m em ber , ever y n eigh bor , cowor ker , or ga n g m em ber ; a n y or ga n iza t ion , gr ou p a n d a ll cit izen s of t h e wor ld -wide
com m u n it y -- a ch a n ce t o m a ke a differ en ce by givin g of t h em selves , t h r ou gh lovin g a ct s
a n d by bein g m or e m in dfu l of love for a da y t o a ct ively, r eju ven a t e r ela t ion sh ips.
Th e r it u a ls a n d sym bols of BLD a r e a syn t h esis of spir it u a l, m et a ph ysica l, Afr ica n
a n d Afr ica n Am er ica cu st om s wh ich a id in h eigh t en in g Bla ck cu lt u r a l pr ide a n d selfest eem . Gift s ca n be given if on e desir es t o expr ess t h eir love, h owever , gift s m u st be
pu r ch a sed on ly fr om Bla ck m er ch a n t s, in t h e spir it of Uja m a a (cooper a t ive econ om ics) t o
r ecycle m on ey wit h in t h e Bla ck com m u n it y. It is r ecom m en ded t h a t gift s be m a de or
ch osen t o en h a n ce t h e spir it , m in d a n d body or ch osen t o r eflect t h e love of Afr ica n
Dia spor a cu lt u r e a n d h er it a ge, in st ea d of t h e im pr a ct ica l t r in ket s a n d u n h ea lt h y, su ga r la den gift s t r a dit ion a lly given for Va len t in e's Da y.
BLD gives bot h Bla ck a n d Wh it e com m u n it ies on e da y t o r eju ven a t e t h eir
r ela t ion sh ips; a da y of h a r m on y in t h e Bla ck com m u n it y a n d a da y of h on est y in t h e
Wh it e com m u n it y. H opefu lly, t h is on e da y of r econ cilia t ion will feel so good in bot h
com m u n it ies, t h a t t h ey will wa n t t o r e-cr ea t e t h ese feelin gs a ga in a n d a ga in . J u st
possibly, t h is ch a in r ea ct ion of love will t r a n sfor m t h e n a t ion a s n ever befor e.
We kn ow of t h e h ea r t a s a sym bol for Va len t in e‟s Da y. Yet , lon g befor e E u r opea n s
u sed decor a t ive, la ce h ea r t s t o sym bolize r om a n ce, t h is a n cien t Afr ica n , Adin kr a
(pr on ou n ced Ah -din k-r a h ) sym bol wa s ca lled Th e Akom a (pr on ou n ced Ah co m a h ). Th e
Akom a m ea n s lit er a lly “t h e h ea r t ” a n d sym bolizes love, pa t ien ce, goodwill, fa it h fu ln ess
a n d en du r a n ce, wit h it s or igin t r a ced t o t h e Asa n t e people of Gh a n a a n d t h e Gya m a n
people of Cot e' d'Ivoir e. Th is sym bol, a s well a s ot h er Adin kr a sym bols, h a ve been r ediscover ed a n d r e-popu la r ized, in m oder n t im es, by Afr ica n -Am er ica n s in sea r ch of t h eir
st olen , Afr ica n cu lt u r a l lega cy. Th u s, t h e Akom a wa s a dopt ed a s t h e sym bol for BLD.
Th e gr eet in g on BLD is Nya Akom a (pr on ou n ced N -ya h Ah -com a ) wh ich m ea n s “be
pa t ien t , get a h ea r t ”. On th e d ay of Febru ary 13th , tak e 24 h ou rs to be m ore m in d fu l of
love, be patien t, get a h eart an d retu rn to love. In th e S pirit of th e Ak om a,
EACH ONE, TEACH ONE –
THE AKOMA.
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WE MUST LOVE OURSELVES ENOUGH AS A PEOPLE TO WANT
TO RECLAIM OUR LEGACY, STUDY OUR HISTORY AND CULTURE….
WE NEED NOT BE ASHAMED OF ANYTHING--ONLY PROUD OF HOW
FAR WE‟VE COME AND PROUD OF OUR MANY CONTRIBUTIONS!
Ayo Handy Kendi, founder, Black Love Day
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How-to Observe Black Love Day
An interview of Ayo Handy-Kendi, founder of BLD
Q. WHAT IS B LACK LOVE D AY?
Bla ck Love Da y (BLD) is a , com m em or a t ive h olida y (wh olyda y) of obser va n ce,
celebr a t ion , r econ cilia t ion , a t on em en t a n d 24 h ou r dem on st r a t ion of love sh owin g a t
lea st 5 specific a ct s (t en et s) of love – t owa r ds t h e Cr ea t or , for self, for t h e fa m ily, wit h in
t h e Bla ck com m u n it y a n d for t h e Bla ck r a ce. Wh it es sh ow “love in a ct ion ” for Bla cks a n d
in spect t h eir own r a cia l a t t it u des a n d beh a vior .
Q. WHAT ARE WE TALKIN G AB OU T WHEN WE D ES CRIB E THE B LACK
COMMU N ITY - ARE WE TALKIN G AB OU T N ATION ALITY OR LOCATION ?
Yes a n d No! Com m u n it y is u sed h er e t o defin e a sen se of con n ect edn ess t o ot h er s
wh o ca n r ela t e beca u se of sh a r ed exper ien ces a n d ca n bon d t h r ou gh la u gh t er or t ea r s. As
a com m u n it y, we feel sa fe t o be wh o we a r e, t o t h in k ou r t h ou gh t s a n d t o be a ccept ed in
a ll ou r com plexit ies. Com m u n it y is t h a t oft en sou gh t , bu t seldom fou n d spa ce, wh er e we
ca n t u r n t o ot h er s, kn owin g t h a t t h ey will list en t o ou r t h ou gh t s a n d will be op en t o give
u s t h e spa ce we n eed t o t h in k ou r t h ou gh t s.
An Afr ica n pr over b r ea ds, "It t a kes a wh ole villa ge t o r a ise a ch ild", wh ich spea ks of
com m u n it y con n ect edn ess. No n a t ion a l a ffilia t ion ; n o geogr a ph ica l bou n da r ies; ju st a n
a wa r en ess of belon gin g t o ot h er s wh o ca r e, wh o a r e a va ila ble t o u s wh en we n eed t h em
defin es a com m u n it y.
Du r in g t h e en sla vem en t per iod people wer e t a ken ou t t h e con t in en t of Afr ica a n d
sh ipped pr im a r ily t o E u r ope, t h e Am er ica s, a n d a r ou n d t h e globe. Toda y we r efer t o t h e
Afr ica n Dia spor a , a s t h e wor ldwide com m u n it y of people of color wh o a r e st ill con n ect ed
du e t o ou r h er it a ge a s people of Afr ica n descen t a n d ou r st r u ggle for equ a lit y. Th ese
bon ds a r e ou r com m u n it y lin ks, a s people of color .
Q. WHAT ARE THE OB J ECTIVES OF B LD ?
Th e o bje c tiv e s o f B LD a re fo u rfo ld , a s I s e e th e m n o w :
1. To est a blish a da y t o focu s on love in or der t o t r a n sfor m spir it u a lly t o in cr ea se t h e
pea ce, t o st op t h e
violen ce a n d st op r a cism ;
2. To en cou r a ge Bla ck self-love in or der t o st op Bla ck self-h a t r ed;
3. To en cou r a ge r a cia l h ea lin g, t h e en d of r a cism a n d Wh it e su pr em a cy;
4. To cr ea t e a n a lt er n a t ive t r a dit ion t o Va len t in e's Da y, t h a t is spir it u a l a n d ba sed on
Afr ica n a n d Afr ica n Am er ica n cu lt u r e t h a t wh olist ica lly, r eju ven a t es r ela t ion sh ips;
Q. WHEN IS B LD CELEB RATED ?
BLD is celebr a t ed ever y F ebr u a r y 13t h , despit e wh a t da y of t h e week t h e 13t h fa lls
on .
Q. WHO IS THE F OU N D ER OF B LD AN D WHEN WAS IT F OU N D ED ?
I a m blessed t o be t h e fou n der of BLD, a con cept wh ich fir st or igin a t ed in 1993, a n d
m y n a m e is Ayo H a n dy Ken di, for m er ly kn own a s Ayo H a n dy-Cla r y, like P r in ce is n ow
25
ca lled t h e Ar t ist , for m er ly kn own a s P r in ce. I wa s bor n a n d r a ised in Wa sh in gt on , D.C.
I a m a lso, oft en ca lled Ma m a Ayo a n d ser ve a s a n or ga n izer , a Gr iot /cu lt u r a l per for m er , a
br ea t h fa cilit a t or /st r ess m a n a ger , em power m en t specia list a n d en t r epr en eu r . I‟m a lso
t h e fou n der /dir ect or of Th e Afr ica n Am er ica n H olida y Associa t ion (AAH A), a 501(c)(3)
t a x-exem pt , n on -pr ofit , or ga n iza t ion a n d ser ve a s it s spokesper son a n d a h olida y
a u t h or it y.
A spir it u a l vision a n d divin e m essa ge wa s given t o m e on a n u su a lly wa r m , su n n y
New Yea r 's E ve in 1992, a s I wa s r idin g a bu s ju st a ft er seein g t h e Spike Lee's m ovie,
"Ma lcolm X". Th e dr a m a t ic en din g of t h e m ovie, sh owin g t h e violen t dea t h of Ma lcol m X,
sa dden ed m e. As I r eflect ed on t h e scen e, sh owin g Bla ck m en killin g a n ot h er Bla ck
br ot h er , I pon der ed t h e qu est ion , wh a t cou ld be don e t o st op violen ce in m y com m u n it y
a n d ju st wh a t cou ld I do. In a pr ofou n d wa y, I h ea r d "Th e Cr ea t or " expr ess t o m e,
"Bla ck Love, Bla ck Love! We n eed m or e Bla ck Love", over a n d over . F r om t h is divin e
in spir a t ion , wit h in sever a l da ys, I developed t h e con cept of Bla ck Love Da y.
By F ebr u a r y 13, 1993, on ly 44 da ys a ft er t h e in spir a t ion , I h a d or ga n ized t h e fir st
Bla ck Love Da y pu blic pr ogr a m a t McKin ley Tech H igh Sch ool, in Nor t h ea st ,
Wa sh in gt on , DC. Th e con cept wa s widely a ccept ed by t h e pu blic a n d t h e m edia .
In 1994, I wr ot e a st a t em en t wh ich r eceived a Ma yor a l P r ocla m a t ion decla r in g BLD
a n officia l da y of r ecogn it ion , obser va n ce a n d celebr a t ion in t h e Dist r ict of Colu m bia . I
co-cr ea t ed t h e Bla ck Love Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion a n d officia t ed it , br in gin g u s a ll ba ck
t o ou r wh olen ess.
Th e n u m ber 13 sym bolizes t h e dea t h of old idea s, u sed du r in g a n cien t t im es wh en
people u sed pict u r es a s sym bols. Th ey kn ew of it a s a pict u r e on t h e Ta r ot Ca r d la beled
“Dea t h ”, pict u r ed a s a skelet on wit h a scyt h e in h is h a n ds, cu t t in g off h u m a n h ea ds. By
t h e la t e Middle Ages, people in t er pr et ed t h is t o m ea n ph ysica l dea t h , n ot r ea lizin g t h a t ,
sym bolica lly, it m ea n t dea t h t o a n old wa y of life a n d t h in kin g, r a t h er a spir it u a l ch a n ge
for t h e bet t er . Ma n y old a t t it u des of u n -for given ess, self-h a t r ed, disr espect , r a cia l
r esen t m en t s, m ist r u st a n d violen ce ca n be ch a n ged by pa r t icipa t in g in t h e h ea lin g
a ct ivit ies of BLD a n d by dem on st r a t in g “love in a ct ion ” a s obser ved on BLD.
Th e An cien t s a lso descr ibed t h a t t h e n u m ber 13 wa s a sym bol, if u sed cor r ect ly,
wh ich wou ld give power a n d dom in ion , ba sed on a st r ology a n d n u m er ology t h a t looks a t
t h e r epr esen t a t ion of 1 a s t h e Su n , t h e giver of life, ligh t a n d en er gy, a n d 3 a s J u pit er ,
t h e expa n sive, good-lu ck pla n et . Wit h bot h t h e 1 a n d 3 n a t u r a lly dom in a n t a n d
power fu l, you ca n t h er efor e see t h a t t h e n u m ber 13 beca m e n a t u r a lly a ssocia t ed wit h
power .
Q. HOW IS B LD D IF F EREN T THAN VALEN TIN E'S D AY?
BLD offer s Afr ica n Am er ica n people m or e t h a n r om a n ce a n d t oken s of a ffect ion on
Va len t in e's Da y.
On BLD, love is dem on st r a t ed wh olist ica lly, t h r ou gh ser vice,
celebr a t ion , for given ess, a pology, a t on em en t a n d r it u a ls of pu blic a n d pr iva t e
r econ cilia t ion . At t h e ver y best , five specific lovin g a ct s (t en et s) sh ou ld be per for m ed t owa r ds t h e Cr ea t or , t owa r ds on eself, wit h in t h e fa m ily, in t h e com m u n it y, a n d for a n d
wit h in t h e Bla ck r a ce.
Q.
IS B LD AN ALTERN ATIVE TO VALEN TIN E'S D AY F OR AF RICAN
AMERICAN S ?
Yes. BLD ca n be obser ved a s a n a lt er n a t ive t o Va len t in e's Da y. Th e wh ole h ist or y of
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Va len t in e's Da y dem on st r a t es t h a t m a n y of t h e h olida y celebr a t ion s t h a t Bla ck people
a ccept a n d pa r t icipa t e in , a r e m ea n in gless a n d con fu sin g, t h a t la ck spir it u a l va lu es a n d
don 't r eflect ou r cu lt u r a l h er it a ge. Bla ck people h a ve a n eed t o r et u r n t o t h eir Afr ica n
a n d Afr ica n -Am er ica n iden t it y a n d a n cest r y, wh er ea s t h e t r a dit ion s of Va len t in e‟s Da y
a r e ba sed u pon E u r opea n pa ga n r it u a ls a n d u n docu m en t ed legen ds. F or Bla ck people t o
celebr a t e a n yt h in g ou t side of t h eir cu lt u r e ca u ses “cu lt u r a l m is -iden t ifica t ion ” wh ich h a s
been , I believe, t h e r ea son for t h e popu la r it y of Kwa n za a , a s a n a lt er n a t ive for
Ch r ist m a s. F in a lly, Va len t in e's Da y en cou r a ges u n h ea lt h y a t t it u des of depr ession a n d
a lien a t ion , if you a r e n ot in a r om a n t ic, cou pled r ela t ion sh ip. BLD, h owever , celebr a t es
a ll r ela t ion sh ips by dem on st r a t in g love for t h e Cr ea t or fir st -- t h e h igh est for m of love,
wh ich is t h e ba sis for a ll lovin g r ela t ion sh ips -- t h en self-love, love for t h e fa m ily, love
for on es‟ com m u n it y a n d love for a n d wit h in t h e Bla ck r a ce. Self-less ser vice, in t h e
n a m e of love, in cr ea ses spir it u a l va lu es a n d ou r h igh er self.
Q. WHY D O WE N EED A HOLID AY LIKE B LD D U RIN G THIS TIME OF THE
YEAR?
II r ecogn ized t h r ou gh m y r esea r ch wit h AAH A t h a t Am er ica n h olida ys a dd t o t h e
oppr ession of Afr ica n Am er ica n s, beca u se t h ey n ot on ly don ‟t r ein for ce ou r cu lt u r a l
va lu es, bu t t h ey do lit t le else t o su ppor t Afr ica n Am er ica n societ y a s a wh ole, wh ile
m ost ly ser vin g t o su ppor t ot h er cu lt u r e's m or a l, r eligiou s, socia l, polit ica l a n d econ om ic
in st it u t ion s. Sim ila r ly, Va len t in e's Da y, wit h it s focu s pr im a r ily on r om a n t ic love, does
lit t le t o spea k t o t h e over a ll r ela t ion sh ip n eeds of t h e Bla ck com m u n it y. Wit h t h e
in cr ea sed discu ssion of Bla ck -on -Bla ck violen ce in t h is com m u n it y, per h a ps, Bla cks n eed
m or e t h a n ju st a focu s on r om a n ce on Va len t in e's Da y. I believe t h a t Bla ck folks a n d
a ct u a lly a ll people - n eed t o focu s on developin g wh olist ic, spir it u a l a ppr oa ch es t o u plift
a ll of t h eir lovin g r ela t ion sh ips a n d ch a n ge a t t it u des t owa r ds r espect fu l a n d h a r m on iou s
in t er a ct ion s. BLD's oppor t u n it y t o t r a n sfor m people t o a m or e spir it u a l level, t h r ou gh
love, cou ld n ot h a ve com e a t a bet t er t im e!
F u r t h er m or e, Va len t in e's Da y, like m ost E u r opea n -ba sed h olida ys, h a ve gon e
com m er cia l, a n d t h is com m er cia liza t ion pr esses Bla ck people t o a ct a s con spicu ou s,
con su m er s, bu yin g t h e cu st om a r y it em s t h a t a r e gen er a lly expect ed for t h e
celebr a t ion of t h ese even t s, n o m a t t er h ow u n r ela t ed t h ese it em s a r e t o t h e Afr ica n
Am er ica n exper ien ce. Th is occu r s beca u se m a n y Bla cks st ill a r e n ot a wa r e of t h eir
cu lt u r a l r oot s a n d a r e st ill im it a t in g t h eir E u r opea n cou n t er pa r t s. Beca u se t h ey a r e
ign or a n t of t h eir own h er it a ge a n d feel t r u ly n ot a ccept ed by t h e societ y a t la r ge, t h is
sen se of a lien a t ion cr ea t es h u ge psych ologica l con t r a dict ion s in t h eir t h in kin g a n d in
t h eir beh a vior .
On e of t h ese con t r a dict ion s is t h a t Bla cks t en d t o over -exa gger a t e in t h eir effor t s t o
be m or e a ccept a ble, loved a n d t o keep u p wit h t h e im a ges t h ey see on t v a n d in
m a ga zin es. So, wh ile som e Bla ck people will spen d a wh ole lot of m on ey celebr a t in g
ever yon e else's cu lt u r e bu t t h eir own , t h is over -in du lgen ce in h olida y spen din g fu r t h er
ca u ses t h e Bla ck com m u n it y econ om ic h a r dsh ip, pa r t icu la r ly beca u se m ost of t h is
spen din g is n ot r ecycled a m on g Bla ck people t h r ou gh Bla ck own ed bu sin esses or ser vice
pr ovider s. So, h er e we a r e, spen din g a ll t h is m on ey du r in g h olida ys t o pr ove som et h in g
du r in g occa sion s t h a t we h a r dly believe in ou r selves. Th is is ou t er -dir ect ive beh a vior
a n d it s fa ir ly com plica t ed, bu t qu it e r ea l. Well, BLD offer s a n oppor t u n it y for Bla cks t o
love t h em selves, kn ow t h em selves a n d t a ke ca r e of t h em selves.
27
BLD, fu r t h er offer s a n u n iqu e oppor t u n it y for Wh it es t o wor k ou t a n u m ber of t h eir
issu es, fea r s, m isu n der st a n din gs, den ia ls, h a t efu l a t t it u des a n d r a cist beh a vior t h a t is
st ill ver y eviden t in t h eir com m u n it y. Den ia l of t h e wr on gs of t h ei r for efa t h er s a n d t h e
wr on gs st ill per pet u a t ed t oda y t owa r ds Bla cks, cr ea t es blocka ges wit h in t h e spir it of
Wh it es wh ich t h en disa llows t h e Cr ea t or ‟s fu ll blessin gs of spir it u a lit y t o be r eceived. I
believe t h a t a pology, r est it u t ion , r epa r a t ion s a n d collect ive a t on em en t by Wh it es wou ld
en a ble t h em t o gr ow a s a m or e h ea led r a ce, willin g t o t a ke r espon sibilit y for t h e
sym pt om s of a det er ior a t ed societ y -- t h e a bu siven ess a n d explosive a lien a t ion -- fu eled
by su ch u n willin gn ess t o r ecogn ize t h eir con t r ibu t ion t o t h e con fu sion . I believe t h a t
wh en Wh it es sh ow a t on em en t a n d r est it u t ion , by dem on st r a t in g “love in a ct ion ” t owa r ds
Bla cks, t h is beh a vior will be a defin it ive, con cr et e st ep t o en d t h e in ju st ices of t h e syst em
ca lled r a cism .
Q. WHAT ARE S OME OF THE ACTIVITIES ON E S HOU LD D O ON B LD ?
th
On F ebr u a r y 13 , st a r t in g a t 12 m idn igh t , Bla ck folk sh ou ld begin per for m in g, a t
best , 5 specific a ct s of love - for t h e Cr ea t or , for self, for t h e fa m ily, for t h e com m u n it y
a n d for t h e Bla ck r a ce. Th e a ct s or t en et s , sh ou ld be t h ou gh t ou t , even pla n n ed da ys
befor e BLD, bu t of cou r se, t h e dem on st r a t ion of on es‟ a ct s of love ca n be per fect ly
spon t a n eou s. Th e m ost im por t a n t t h in g is t h e sin cer e, in t en t of pu t t in g love in a ct ion –
t h e a ct s of love ca n be sym bolic or a ct u a l, ph ysica l a ct s, bu t t h ey a ll m u st be com plet ed in
t h e 24 h ou r per iod. In Wh it e com m u n it ies, t h ey sh ou ld a lso per for m 5 specific a ct s of
love wit h t h eir focu s on r a isin g t h eir love vibr a t ion , by in spect in g t h eir r a cia l a t t it u des
a n d beh a vior s t owa r ds Bla cks, by h ea lin g t h em selves t h r ou gh a t on em en t , for given ess
a n d by dem on st r a t in g love in a ct ion t h r ou gh ser vice or a ct s of kin dn ess t owa r ds t h e
Bla ck people.
In eit h er Bla ck or Wh it e com m u n it ies, bein g ca r efu l of ext en din g love for a 24 h ou r
per iod by dem on st r a t in g “love in a ct ion ” ca n ch a n ge a per son 's life a n d st a r t a ch a in
r ea ct ion in a ll of ou r com m u n it ies. I su ggest you r efer t o ou r Bla ck Love P ledge post er for
su ggest ion s on a ct ivit ies t h a t ca n be don e t o obser ve t h e t en et s on BLD a n d beyon d.
Two ot h er r it u a ls ca n be obser ved du r in g BLD. Th ey a r e a t t en da n ce a t a Bla ck Love
Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y a n d/or pa r t icipa t in g in a Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion .
Q. WHAT D OES THE B LACK LOVE RELATION S HIP CEREMON Y CON S IS T
OF ?
Th e Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y h a s becom e a r it u a l ba sed on a syn t h esis of
spir it u a l, m et a ph ysica l a ct ivit ies, Afr ica n Am er ica n a n d Afr ica n cu st om s a n d
cer em on ies. Gr a t it u de t o t h e Cr ea t or t h r ou gh t h e ou t pou r in g of pr a yer , per son a l
a t on em en t , pu blic a n d pr iva t e a pology, spir it u a l clea n sin g, a ffir m a t ion s for bon din g
r ela t ion sh ips, r ecom m it m en t t o lovin g va lu es a n d t h e ligh t in g of t h e Kin a r a (pr on ou n ced
Key n a r r a h ) a n a r t ifa ct sym bol of ou r Afr ica n An cest or s wit h t h e r ecit a t ion of t h e Ngu zo
Sa ba , (Na h goo za h Sa h ba h ), t h e seven pr in cip les of Bla ckn ess, a r e a ll elem en t s of t h e
Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y. Th e h igh ligh t of t h is cer em on y is t h e u se of fir e for
pu r ifica t ion a n d em ot ion a l r elea se in t h e sa cr ed, Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion .
Q. HOW IS THE N GU ZO S AB A IN VOLVED ?
Th e Ngu zo Sa ba is a 7 poin t va lu e syst em , cr ea t ed by Dr . Ma u la n a Ka r en ga , a n d
u sed in con ju n ct ion wit h Dr . Ka r en ga 's Kwa ida Th eor y. Th e Ngu zo Sa ba r epr esen t s
28
a t t it u des a n d beh a vior s t h a t , wh en followed, ca n u plift Afr ica n Am er ica n people a n d
t h ese va lu es a r e t r a dit ion a lly celebr a t ed du r in g Kwa n za a , t h e Afr ica n Am er ica n ,
cu lt u r a l h olida y obser ved fr om Dec. 26 – J a n 1, developed a lso by Dr . Ka r en ga .
H owever , t h e Ngu zo Sa ba wa s in cor por a t ed in t o BLD, beca u se I u n der st ood t h a t t h is
va lu e syst em wa s n ot ju st t o be celebr a t ed du r in g t h e 7 da ys of Kwa n za a , bu t lived a n d
pr a ct iced t h r ou gh ou t t h e yea r , a s pr escr ibed by Dr . Ka r en ga . Th er efor e, t h e ligh t in g of
t h e Kin a r a , a n a n cien t Afr ica n a r t ifa ct wh ich h olds t h e ca n dles r epr esen t a t ive of t h e
Ngu zo Sa ba becom es on e of t h e im por t a n t r it u a ls t o be don e du r in g BLD t o r ein for ce
t h is va lu e syst em , I wa s divin ely in spir ed t o in cor por a t e t h e Ngu zo Sa ba in t o t h e Bla ck
Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y.
Q. WHAT IS THE B LD LOGO AN D S LOGAN S YMB OLIZE?
Th e Akom a , lit er a lly m ea n s, “t h e H ea r t ”, (pr on ou n ced Ah com a ) is a n Adin kr a
sym bol of love, pa t ien ce, goodwill, fa it h fu lln ess a n d en du r a n ce. Adin kr a (pr on ou n ced Ah din k-r a h ) a r e h igh ly va lu ed, h a n d-pr in t ed a n d h a n d-em br oider ed clot h s wit h t h eir or igin
t r a ced t o t h e Asa n t e people of Gh a n a a n d t h e Gya m a n people of Cot e' d'Ivoir e. Adin kr a
clot h s, u sed sin ce a n cien t t im es, con t a in ed sym bols r ela t in g t o t h e h ist or y, ph ilosoph y
a n d spir it u a l beliefs of t h e people. In t er est in g t h a t t h e Va len t in e's Da y sym bol of love,
t h e h ea r t , h a s n ever been cor r ect ly a ssocia t ed in it s pr oper cu lt u r a l a n d h ist or ica l
iden t ifica t ion for t h e sym bol t h a t it t r u ly is - a n Afr ica n sym bol, t a ken , u sed a n d
m isr epr esen t ed
by t h e E u r opea n a n d it s' u sa ge, a s t h e sym bol for r om a n ce,
com m er cia lized sin ce t h e 18t h cen t u r y.
Be pa t ien t !" E a r lier m is-pr on u n cia t ion s a s “Kn ee a h Ah com a is bein g cor r ect ed
wit h t h is 3 r d E dit ion pr in t in g of “Th e Bla ck Love Book”. “Nya Akom a ” ( pr on ou n ced N
ya h Ah –com a , n ow cor r ect ed) is t h e sloga n a n d gr eet in g u sed on BLD. It m ea n s "Get a
h ea r t !
Q. S HOU LD ON E GIVE GIF TS ON B LD LIKE GIF TS ARE GIVEN IN S OME
HOLID AYS ?
Yes, gift s ca n be given du r in g BLD t o expr ess love, bu t t h e gift s sh ou ld be pr a ct ica l,
gift s a n d n ot ju st gift s for sh ow or t o im pr ess or given a s t h e on ly dem on st r a t ion of lov e
offer ed t h is da y. An a ppr opr ia t e gift wou ld be on e t h a t en h a n ces t h e well -bein g of t h e
in dividu a l‟s spir it , m in d a n d body, or sh ou ld r eflect Bla ck cu lt u r e, t h e Afr ica n or Afr ica n
Am er ica n exper ien ce. In t h e spir it of Uja m a a wh ich m ea n s “cooper a t ive econ om ics” on e
of t h e pr in cipa ls of t h e Ngu zo Sa ba , t h e gift s sh ou ld on ly be pu r ch a sed fr om a Bla ck
m er ch a n t , ven dor or cr a ft sper son in or der t o r ecycle n eeded dolla r s wit h in t h e Bla ck
com m u n it y, a s on e of t h e a ct s of love.
Q. WHAT ARE THE S YMB OLIC COLORS OF B LD ?
P eople sh ou ld wea r or displa y t h e color pu r ple for spir it u a lit y a n d t h e color bla ck for
Bla ck people. Th e color Bla ck is t h e blen d of a ll color s. Met a ph ysica lly, Bla ck r epr esen t s
“fr eedom fr om evil”
Q. WHAT MAD E YOU B ELIEVE THAT YOU COU LD J U S T S TART A HOLID AY?
My r espon se t o t h a t is, “wh y n ot ?” Bla ck people, for t oo lon g, h a ve h a d ot h er
cu lt u r es defin e t h eir lifest yles, a n d st ea l a n d r esh a pe t h eir t r a dit ion s. Bla ck people, ju st
like ot h er cu lt u r es, ca n cr ea t e n ew t r a dit ion s a n d defin e h olida ys a s a self-det er m in ed
29
people. In t h e spir it of Ku ch ich a gu ilia wh ich m ea n s “self-det er m in a t ion ”, a n ot h er
pr in ciple of t h e Ngu zo Sa ba , BLD gives u s a m a n da t e t o cr ea t e su ch a com m em or a t ive
h olida y t o celebr a t e ou r selves, bon d a n d su ppor t ea ch ot h er spir it u a lly, m or a lly a n d
econ om ica lly, wit h love in a ct ion a s t h e ba se for t h e obser va n ce.
A per fect exa m ple of Afr ica n Am er ica n s sh owin g self-det er m in a t ion is t h e n a t ion a lly
r ecogn ized, h olida y obser va n ce of Kwa n za a , t h e fir st , or igin a l Afr ica n Am er ica n H olida y
t h a t is n ot r eligiou s, polit ica l or a celebr a t ion of som e in dividu a l‟s a ch ievem en t .
Kwa n za a is a cu lt u r a l celebr a t ion of fa m ily, com m u n it y a n d cu lt u r e wh ich gives u s
va lu es t h a t a r e ver y m u ch n eeded in t h e Afr ica n Am er ica n com m u n it y.
It wa s
developed in 1966, by Dr . Ma u la n a Ka r en ga , a s m en t ion ed, a n d in it ia lly celebr a t ed on ly
by h is sm a ll or ga n iza t ion . Kwa n za a r epor t ed in 1992 in t h e New Yor k Tim es, "a s a
h olida y, celebr a t ed wor ldwide by over 18 m illion people" is st ill bein g obser ved t oda y,
expa n ded t o est im a t es of 30 m illion wor ldwide.
Q.
IS B LD AN OF F ICIAL, N ATION ALLY RECOGN IZED HOLID AY
OB S ERVAN CE?
No, n ot pr esen t ly. BLD h a s been pr ocla im ed a s a h olida y obser va n ce wit h cu st om a r y
r it u a ls a n d celebr a t ion s su ggest ed by m e, it s' co-cr ea t or . On ly t h r ou gh a n a ct of
Con gr ess ca n a h olida y becom e a lega l, officia l n a t ion a l h olida y. F or exa m ple, in it ia lly,
Ma r t in Lu t h er Kin g's bir t h da y h a d been celebr a t ed a cr oss t h e n a t ion , wit h m a n y people
t a kin g off fr om wor k for t h is h olida y br ea k wh ile pu blic a n d pr iva t e cer em on ies wer e
h eld in h is h on or . By 1989, du e t o pr essu r e a n d lobbin g effor t s a r ou n d t h e cou n t r y,
Con gr ess en a ct ed t h e Dr . Ma r t in Lu t h er Kin g Na t ion a l H olida y Bill.
I wa s in volved in
t h e or ga n izin g effor t t owa r ds m a kin g Dr . Kin g‟s h olida y a r ea lit y, a n d it wa s a lon g,
in t en se pr ocess, wh ich especia lly r evea led m a n y of t h e lin ger in g r a cist s a t t it u des of
Wh it es, a n d sh a t t er ed t h e a pa t h y wit h in som e Bla ck com m u n it ies. If a n d wh en t h e
Cr ea t or in spir es m e t o begin t h is pr ocess t owa r d s n a t ion a l, lega liza t ion of BLD, I will
begin t h a t st ep.
Q.
WHAT MAKES A RITU AL OF LOVE AN D THE U S E OF LOVE, S O
IMP ORTAN T?
I believe a n d a ll of m y exper ien ces h a ve t a u gh t m e, t h a t love is t h e pu r est , st r on gest
h ea lin g for ce t h a t t h er e is, given t o u s by t h e Cr ea t or . In t h e Bible, 1 Cor in t h ia n s 13
best ows t h e va lu e of love a s a bove a ll else, a n d a ll ot h er scr ipt u r es em ph a size t h e
blessin g of love a s t h e h igh est vir t u e. If we pu t love in a ct ion , it becom es a t r em en dou s,
spir it u a l t ool. Love h a s been u sed t o fost er m a n y socia l a n d polit ica l m ovem en t s -- look
a t t h e ph ilosoph ies of Dr . Kin g, Ga n dh i a n d J esu s Ch r ist . Love is a lso t h er a peu t ic.
Recen t st u dies con du ct ed by t h e D.C. P u blic Sch ools, Mu lt i-Cu lt u r a l Va lu es Office,
em ph a sizes t h e va lu e of "h u g t h er a py". Th is con cept wa s in t r odu ced t o D.C. P u blic
Sch ool pa r en t s, a s a m et h od of dem on st r a t in g love t h r ou gh t h e a ct ivit y of offer in g 8 t o 12
h u gs a da y t o ch ildr en . H u gs a r e ben eficia l t o ever yon e, a n d is a n especia lly, effect ive
t ool t o ba la n ce t h e n ega t ive in flu en ces of t oda y a s well a s wa r d off st r ess, wh ich even
a ffect s t h e ch ildr en . Th in k of a ll of t h e r epor t ed docu m en t a t ion of per son s wh o m a de
m ir a cu lou s r ecover ies fr om illn esses a n d t h ose wh o ca m e ba ck fr om t h e dea d, in “n ea r dea t h exper ien ces”, wh o a t t r ibu t e t h eir r ecover y t o t h e pr esen ce a n d pr a yer s of a loved
on e a t t h eir bedside. P er son s wit h a ddict ion s h a ve t u r n ed a r ou n d, du e t o a loved on e‟s
30
t h r ea t s t o t a ke-a wa y love u n less t h e per son get s t r ea t m en t . Ot h er st u dies h a ve pr oven
t h e effect iven ess of love in a ct ion , a s a n ou t r ea ch t ool t o t u r n -a r ou n d you t h a t r isk,
fa m ilies in lifest yle t r a n sit ion s, a n d per son s on t h e br in k of su icide. An ot h er r esea r ch
st u dy docu m en t s t h a t ba by m on keys in a con t r olled la bor a t or y en vir on m en t , died wit h in
weeks fr om a la ck of love.
It seem s t o m e t h a t Bla ck people m u st r et u r n t o love, in or der t o r est or e ou r selves t o
ou r gr ea t est glor y a s we h ea l fr om t h e m a n y sym pt om s we exh ibit a ft er yea r s of
su bju ga t ion , a lien a t ion , m u t ila t ion , econ om ic depr iva t ion a n d oppr ession in r a cist
Am er ica . Wh it es, wh o a r e st ill in den ia l of t h eir a n cest or s‟ r ole in fost er in g t h e n ega t ive,
r a cia l r ela t ion s in t h is cou n t r y, a lso sh ow m a n y sym pt om s of pa in a n d gu ilt . All people
m u st r et u r n t o love t o st op self h a t e a n d t h e r a cia l division s t h a t keep t oo m a n y in
con fu sion .
Q. WHAT ORGAN IZATION F IRS T S P ON S ORED A B LD P ROGRAM?
I‟m pr ou d a n d blessed t o be t h e fou n der a n d dir ect or of t h e or ga n iza t ion a l spon sor of
t h e Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y in D.C. -- t h e Afr ica n Am er ica n H olida y
Associa t ion , com m on ly ca lled AAH A – wh ich is a n a t ion a l, n on -pr ofit , or ga n iza t ion t h a t
per pet u a t es a n d pr eser ves cu lt u r e t h r ou gh t r a dit ion a l a n d n on -t r a dit ion a l h olida ys,
celebr a t ion s a n d r it u a ls. AAH A h a s been in cor por a t ed sin ce 1989. H owev er , t h e
or ga n iza t ion wa s bu ilt on t h e wor k of a gr ou p of m y fa m ily m em ber s a n d close fr ien ds
wh o h a d been wor kin g on a n even t , t h e An n u a l Afr ica n Am er ica n H olida y E xpo a n d in
t h e com m u n it y sin ce 1982.
Th e coor din a t ion of t h e E xpo sin ce 1982, h a s offer ed a n E a st coa st fest iva l t h a t h a s
ga in ed n a t ion a l a n d in t er n a t ion a l in t er est a s t h e oldest , lon gest r u n fest iva l t h a t
pr om ot es t h e Afr ica n Am er ica n , cu lt u r a l h olida y, Kwa n za a a n d Ch r ist m a s. Th e E xpo
h a s been a fest iva l of food, fu n , econ om ic developm en t , s pir it u a l, edu ca t ion a l a n d
cu lt u r a l a ct ivit ies pr esen t ed du r in g t h e Th a n ksgivin g/Ch r ist m a s/Kwa n za a h olida y
sea son a n d h a s ser ved h u n dr eds of t h ou sa n ds over t h e yea r s.
AAH A for m ed in 1989, a n d spon sor in g t h e even t , h a ve offer ed a ssist a n ce t o over 900
you t h en t r epr en eu r s a n d gr ou ps wh o h a ve h a d t h e oppor t u n it y t o ven d a t t h e E xpo a n d
ga in a va lu a ble lea r n in g a n d ea r n in g exper ien ce in econ om ic self-h elp, lea der sh ip a n d
em power m en t t h r ou gh t h e u se of cu lt u r e.
We h a ve pr ovided a t r em en dou s con sciou s r a isin g ser vice t o t h e en t ir e com m u n it y
t h r ou gh ou r pu blic r ela t ion s ca m pa ign wh ich h a ve been design ed t o edu ca t e t h e
com m u n it y on t h e cu lt u r e, h ist or y a n d sign ifica n ce of h olida ys a n d h ow t h ey a ffect
people, Afr ica n Am er ica n s, in pa r t icu la r . AAH A h a s been t ot a lly bles sed in a ppea r in g on
r a dio, t elevision a n d in pr in t , loca lly, n a t ion a lly a n d in t er n a t ion a lly. Now we‟r e on t h e
wor ld-wide web.
Th en , in 1993, I wa s blessed t o co-cr ea t e Bla ck Love Da y, a n ew, com m em or a t ive
“wh olyda y” t h a t obser ves Bla ck love in a ll it s for m s a n d r ela t ion sh ips, a n d AAH A, a s
m en t ion ed, bega n coor din a t in g t h e Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y in t h e
Met r opolit a n a r ea a n d t o officia t e a n d in st it u t ion a lize ou r Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion . In
1998, I wa s fu r t h er blessed t o co-cr ea t e t wo ot h er com m em or a t ive “wh olyda ys” -- Un it y
in Diver sit y Da y (UIDD), obser ved t h e fir st Sa t u r da y in Ma y, a s a com m em or a t ive
“wh olyda y” t o spir it u a lly con n ect a n d celebr a t e t h e h u m a n r a ce a n d An cest or H on or Da y,
obser ved t h e fou r t h week of Ma y, a s a pr e-m em or ia l da y, celebr a t ion of a ll n on -m ilit a r y,
a n cest or s wh o h a ve fou gh t a n d died for fr eedom , equ a lit y a n d ju st ice.
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We h a ve a lso a ssist ed m a n y or ga n iza t ion s a n d in dividu a ls a s specia l even t a n d
pu blic r ela t ion s con su lt a n t s in developin g fest iva ls, even t s a n d pr ogr a m s t h a t a r e
r eleva n t t o posit ive, spir it u a l a n d cu lt u r a l va lu es for com m u n it y em power m en t . Not a bly,
AAH A h a s co-coor din a t ed or dir ect ly, or ga n ized: Th e F r ee DC Movem en t , Bla ck E xpo
USA, P a r t ies for A P u r pose, A Da y of P r a ise, a n E a st er fest iva l, Ma r vin Ga y e Da y,
Ma lcolm X Da y, Th e Million Wom a n Ma r ch , St a n d for Ch ildr en , J er ich o 98‟ t o F r ee
P olit ica l P r ison er s, Th e Million You t h Ma r ch -At la n t a , Righ t t o H ea lt h Ca r e Da y on Apr il
F ools‟ Da y, Th e Gr a t it u de Con cer t du r in g Na t ive Am er ica n Mon t h , in su ppor t of
a ct ivist s, Leon a r d P elt ier a n d Mu m ia Abu J a m a l, A P a u l Robeson Tr ibu t e, Na t ion a l
J u n et een t h Obser va n ce, Million F a m ily Ma r ch , MLK Min i Con fer en ce a n d Spir it u a l
Tea ch -in , a n d Kwa n za a Ca n dle-ligh t in g Ser vices sin ce 1996.
Q. WHAT IS THE B LACK LOVE D AY P LED GE?
It is a pledge, wr it t en by m yself in 1994 a n d pr odu ced on t h e or igin a l,
com m em or a t ive BLD post er . It offer s a com m it m en t t o in volve on eself in t h e m in im u m
r equ ir em en t of pa r t icipa t in g in BLD by per for m in g t h e 5 a ct s (t en et s) of love wit h in t h e
24 h ou r s of F ebr u a r y 13, Bla ck Love Da y. Th e pledge gives idea s on wa ys in wh ich t o
com plet e t h is r equ ir em en t a n d h ow t o u se love a s a h ea lin g t ool t o con t in u e t o spir it u a lly
t r a n sfor m t h e com m u n it y a ft er BLD. Alt h ou gh , I h a ven ‟t r evised t h e pledge wit h t h e
n ew, con cept s t h a t I „ve been in spir ed over t h e yea r s, t o in it ia t e, t h e pledge st ill h a s
m er it .
Q. YOU HAVE REALLY GIVEN A THOROU GH U N D ERS TAN D IN G ON HOW-TO
OB S ERVE AN D CELEB RATE B LACK LOVE D AY. D O YOU HAVE AN Y LAS T
P ARTIN G WORD S ?
Yes, I do. Let ‟s st op t h e violen ce! In cr ea se t h e pea ce! Wor k t h r ou gh Bla ck selfh a t r ed a n d r a cism /Wh it e su pr em a cy. Let ‟s r et u r n t o love t o t r a n sfor m ou r r ela t ion sh ips
t o ch a n ge t h e wor ld!

"Humility does not mean you think less
of yourself - it means you think of yourself less."

32
THE BLACK LOVE PLEDGE
I Pled ge:
1. To sh ow love for Th e Cr ea t or : To m a ke a gr ea t er spir it u a l con n ect ion r ecogn izin g t h a t
we im a ge t h e su pr em e bein g, t h e Cr ea t or . Th er efor e, I a ccept m yself a s a God -cen t er , a s
t h e sou r ce of a ll cr ea t ivit y, love, power , a n d posit ive en er gy.
2. To love m yself fir st a n d t o er a se a ll t r a ces of self-h a t r ed for wh en I love m yself, I
t h er efor e ca n love ot h er s. To t a ke ca r e of m yself by n ot a bu sin g m yself t h r ou gh u n h ea lt h y
life ch oices, su ch a s: Dr u g u sa ge; Un sa fe sex; P oor ea t in g a n d exer cise h a bit s; Nega t ive
r ela t ion sh ips; Da m a gin g a t t it u des.
3.
To develop m or a l pr in ciples t o st a n d for beca u se if you don 't st a n d for som et h in g
you 'll fa ll for a n yt h in g; To disciplin e m yself t o becom e t h e best I ca n be.
4. To for give m yself for pa st a ct s of u n lovin g beh a vior a n d m ove on ; To let love h ea l
a n d t r a n sfor m m y life.
5. To sh ow love for m y fa m ily by: Su ppor t in g t h em ; Spen din g qu a lit y t im e wit h t h em ;
P r ovidin g for t h em ; F or givin g t h em ; Com m u n ica t in g in wa ys t o bu ild bet t er r ela t ion sh ips;
Accept in g t h a t ou r you t h a r e n ot a lwa ys t h e pr oblem bu t it 's pa r en t s wh o m u st t a ke
gr ea t er r espon sibilit y t owa r ds you t h ; P a ssin g on kn owledge, va lu es a n d cu lt u r e.
6. To sh ow love for m y com m u n it y by: Keepin g it clea n a n d en vir on m en t a lly sa fe; To
r ecogn ize t h a t t h e en vir on m en t su ppor t s u s on ly if we cor r ect ly su ppor t it ; To wor k in
ser vice, wit h a gr ou p or in som e a ct ivit y t o m a ke t h e wor ld a bet t er pla ce for a ll.
7. To sh ow love for t h e r a ce by: Lea r n in g ou r Afr ica n H ist or y wh ich gives u s a fou n da t ion
a n d a h er it a ge t o be pr ou d of; To r ecogn ize t h a t Afr ica n people, a ll over t h e wor ld h a ve a
com m on iden t it y, a com m on st r u ggle a n d a com m on n eed t o love ea ch ot h er ;
Accept in g t h a t love for m y r a ce doesn 't m ea n h a t e for ot h er s.
8. To sh ow love for m yself, t h e com m u n it y, a n d t h e r a ce, by: Bu ildin g ou r econ om ic ba se
by expect in g n o on e t o do for u s, wh a t we ca n do for ou r selves; By spen din g ou r m on ey
wit h bla ck people fir st ; By lea r n in g a n d pr a ct icin g sou n d fin a n cia l m a n a gem en t ,
en t r epr en eu r sh ip, sa vin g, in vest in g a n d wea lt h bu ildin g pr in ciples; By developin g
pr osper ou s a t t it u des.
9. To com m it t o t h e Ngu zo Sa ba (Th e 7 P r in ciples of Bla ckn ess) a n d t o pr a ct ice t h ese
pr in ciples on a da ily a n d yea r -lon g ba sis n ot ju st du r in g Kwa n za a : Um oja - Un it y;
Ku jich a ga lia - Self Det er m in a t ion ; Ujim a - Collect ive Wor k a n d Respon sibilit y;
Uja m a a - Cooper a t ive E con om ic; Nia - P u r pose; Ku u m ba - Cr ea t ivit y;
Im a n i - F a it h .
I__________________________________________________ pledge t h is da y ______________
th
To pu t Love in Act ion on Bla ck Love Da y, F eb 13 a n d ever yda y.
Wr it t en by Ayo H a n dy-Ken di © 1993
BLACK LOVE
33
„WHAT WE NEED IS LOVE, NOT JUST A ROMANTIC VERSION OF
LOVE, BUT A WHOLISTIC VERSION OF LOVE TO MAKE US
WHOLE PEOPLE AGAIN !
Ayo Handy Kendi, founder, Black Love Day
34
What We Need Is Love!
by Ayo Handy Kendi
"We n eed m or e t h a n r om a n ce on Va l en t i n e D a y! We n eed a w h ol i st i c a p p r oa ch
t o a l l ou r l ov i n g r el a t i on sh i p s. Lov e for t h e Cr ea t or , sel f l ov e , l ov e for ou r
fa m i l y, com m u n i t y a n d t h e Bl a ck r a ce -- w e n eed l ov e t o h el p h ea l a n d t o st op
t h e v i ol en ce a n d r a ci sm . Bl a ck Lov e D a y on Feb r u a r y 13t h offer s u s su ch a d a y
t o t r a n sfor m t h r ou g h l ov e. "N ya Ak om a " (Get a h ea r t . Be P a t i en t ) a n d r et u r n t o
l ov e." Ayo Ha n d y K en d i , co-cr ea t or of Bl a ck Lov e D a y, fou n d er /d i r ., AAHA
E ven t h ou gh , it m a y be t h e m ost t a lked a bou t su bject ever , love is pr oba bly t h e
lea st u n der st ood con cept a r ou n d. We t a lk a bou t love en dlessly; r ea d a bou t it ; view it
on t elevision (pa r t icu la r ly t h e t a lk sh ows) a n d on t h e m ovie scr ee n s; a n d h ea r a bou t it
in t h e wor ds of son gs, be it cou n t r y a n d west er n , ja zz or r a p, yet , t h e t r u e exper ien ce
of love is on e t h a t t oo m a n y of u s seem t o t a ke for gr a n t ed or ign or e it s‟ im por t a n ce.
Love is TH E t opic a n d we ca n 't seem t o get en ou gh of it . "I'm in love wit h h er ."
"Ca n I be in love wit h t wo people? " "Bu t , I don 't love you a n ym or e." "You wou ldn 't
do t h is, if you loved m e." Th e en dless list of per son a l love expr ession s goes on ...
To r ea lly u n der st a n d per son a l love, we fir st h a ve t o u n der st a n d a ll levels of love
in it s pu r est sen se, fr om a wh olist ic per spect ive. Wh olist ic m ea n s lookin g a t t h e
wh ole pict u r e, n ot ju st isola t ed pa r t s. Th er e is "E r os" love wh ich is t h e love m ost
oft en t a lked a bou t bet ween m a n a n d wom a n t h a t is pa ssion a t e a n d er ot ic; t h er e is
"Aga pe" love wh ich is defin ed a s u n con dit ion a l love; t h er e is "P h ileo" love wh ich is t h e
br ot h er ly love expr essed t o m a n kin d or a s pa r en t a l love; a n d "Divin e" love wh ich is
expr essed t h r ou gh love for Th e Cr ea t or . Wh en we on ly t a lk a bou t cou pled, r om a n t ic
love, a r ou n d Va len t in e's Da y, we don 't look a t t h e m a n y levels of love or t h e m a n y
possible r ela t ion sh ips t h a t develop a r ou n d love. F or exa m ple, t h e love r ela t ion sh ip
wit h you r ch ild is differ en t t h a n t h a t for you r h u sba n d a n d wit h in eit h er of t h ese
r ela t ion sh ips, over t h e yea r s, t h e wa ys in wh ich we expr ess love, will ch a n ge.
Wh a t ever t h e r ela t ion sh ip, t h e ver y a ct of lovin g is cr it ica lly im por t a n t t o u s a s
h u m a n bein gs. Th e six expr ession s of love - a ccept a n ce, t ou ch in g, givin g qu a lit y t im e,
givin g gift s, offer in g wor ds of en cou r a gem en t a n d givin g in ser vice - a r e t h e pr im a r y
wa ys in wh ich we dem on st r a t e love. If we r eceive love's expr ession in t h e wa y t h a t we
per son a lly n eed it , t h a n love a dds t o ou r sen se of wh olen ess a n d com plet en ess. If t h e
expr ession of love t owa r ds u s is n ot t h e expr ession t h a t con n ect s t o ou r specific n eed,
t h a n we do n ot r eceive love wh ich t h en su bt r a ct s a wa y fr om ou r sen se of wh olen ess
a n d com plet en ess.
Ta ke t h is exa m ple - t h a t of a pla n t in you r h om e. We wa t er ou r pla n t , feed it , sh in e
u p it s lea ves, pr ovide it wit h n u t r ien t s a n d pu t it in t h e su n . We even t a lk t o t h e pla n t
a n d som et im es pla y m u sic for it . Beca u se of ou r ca r e, t h e pla n t gr ows a n d t h r ives. Th e
pla n t is h ea lt h y a n d r epr odu ces ot h er h ea lt h y pla n t s. Du e t o ou r n u r t u r in g, t h e pla n t is
n ot on ly h ea lt h y, bu t bea u t ifu l. It s bea u t y pr ovides u s wit h m a n y h ou r s a n d yea r s of
en joym en t a n d a ppr ecia t ion . Th e pla n t fu r t h er pr ovides u s wit h life -givin g oxygen wh ich
35
is a dir ect h ea lt h ben efit t h a t a ids u s in ou r br ea t h in g.
We n ow see a com plet e love cycle. Th e m or e we love a n d t a ke ca r e of ou r pla n t , it
sh ows it s love in r et u r n by su ppor t in g u s. Wh a t we give com es ba ck t o u s in fu ll
m ea su r e. H owever , if we don 't give t h e pla n t ou r lovin g su ppor t , du e t o ou r n eglect , it
st ops sh in in g a n d gr owin g. It st ops pr ovidin g u s wit h ben efit s. E ven t u a lly it dies!
We ca n a lso give it t h e wr on g expr ession of ca r in g. Som e pla n t s n eed m or e su n sh in e
a n d wit h ou t br igh t su n ligh t , even wit h pr oper wa t er a n d n u r t u r in g it cou ld st ill die!
Wh en we view ou r per son a l lovin g r ela t ion sh ips, ju st like t h e love we pr ovide for
livin g object s like t h e pla n t , t h is love viewpoin t will h elp u s kn ow wh a t t r u e love
r ea lly is! We m u st give t o r eceive. We m u s t a ppr ecia t e a n d in r et u r n we will be
sh ower ed wit h a ppr ecia t ion . We m u st su ppor t t o be su ppor t ed. We m u st give ca r e t o
be t a ken ca r e of. An d we m u st n u r t u r e in or der t o r eceive t h e ben efit s of ou r
n u r t u r in g. F in a lly, we m u st fin d t h e expr ession of love t h a t will be a ppr ecia t ed by
t h e focu s of ou r love.
God is love, a n d oper a t in g wit h in t h e divin e, n a t u r a l or der of spir it u a l -God-like
t h ou gh t s a n d beh a vior , is t r u ly n eeded t o be a bou t love. Wh a t m ost of u s a r e doin g
in st ea d, is dea lin g wit h love in u n n a t u r a l, u n spir it u a l wa ys. F a m ilies a r e split t in g u p
over su r m ou n t a ble, pet t y issu es.
We'r e killin g ea ch ot h er . Mu t ila t in g ch ildr en .
P u t t in g down t h ose wh o don ‟t look like u s. Dest r oyin g ou r en vir on m en t , wh ich in ou r
doin g so, will even t u a lly dest r oy u s. Bu t ch er in g a n im a ls wit h ou t r ea son or n eed.
Tea r in g down ou r com m u n it ies a n d defin it ely a bu sin g ou r selves wit h ou r lifest yles!
As a societ y, we seem n ot t o be ext en din g love like we u sed t o. In a ll it s' m a n y
for m s -- love is wh olist ic -- pu r e a n d sim ple, in cor por a t in g t h e spir it , m in d a n d body.
It ‟s t h e n a t u r a l or der of t h in gs - h a r m on y, pea ce a n d ba la n ce. So ba sic, t h a t it exist s
wit h ou t ou r even bein g a wa r e of it . We'r e a ll bor n wit h t h e a bilit y t o love. An d we
gr ow in t h is u n der st a n din g t h r ou gh ou t ou r lives. Love is a t ot a l exper ien ce t h a t
sh a pes t h e qu a lit y of ou r lives a n d is essen t ia l t o ou r ver y bein g.
So, ever y F ebr u a r y, st op a m om en t a n d r eflect on love. Not ju st t h e r om a n t ic love
ver sion of Va len t in e's Da y; n or a soa p oper a love ver sion or even a "wh it e-wa sh ed",
t .v. sit com , love ver sion . Th in k a bou t wh y Bla ck Love Da y on F ebr u a r y 13t h , is
n eeded, n ow -- in ou r Bla ck com m u n it y wh er e ga n g violen ce h a s esca la t ed a m on gst
u s, fr igh t en in g ou r in n ocen t ch ildr en , pa r a lyzin g ou r se n ior s in t h eir h om es a n d
sh or t en in g t h e lives of t oo m a n y of ou r you t h ; a n d in ou r Wh it e com m u n it y wh er e
t h ey seem t o "a ct ou t " in gu ilt or in den ia l of t h e pa in t h ey in flict on Bla cks a n d ot h er
et h n ic gr ou ps, wh ich is t h e r oot ca u se of r a cism , h a t e cr im es , a n d a bu sive a lien a t ed
beh a vior a m on gst t h em selves.
Th in k a bou t wh a t wou ld h a ppen if for 24 h ou r s ever yon e in t h e Bla ck com m u n it y
wou ld com m it t h em selves t o per for m in g, a t best , 5 lovin g a ct s (t en et s) t o bet t er t h eir
r ela t ion sh ips wit h t h e Cr ea t or , wit h t h em selves, wit h in t h eir fa m ily, wit h in t h eir
com m u n it y a n d wit h in t h e Bla ck r a ce? F u r t h er , wh a t wou ld h a ppen , if in t h e Wh it e
com m u n it y, t h ey spen t t h e sa m e 24 h ou r s dem on st r a t in g “love in a ct ion ” t owa r ds Bla cks
36
a n d dea lin g h on est ly wit h t h eir r a cis t a t t it u des a n d fea r s?
Th is is wh a t h a ppen s on Bla ck Love Da y - F ebr u a r y 13t h . It 's ju st wh a t we n eed
-- a wh olist ic ver sion of love, t o m a ke u s a ll wh ole people a ga in . Oper a t in g in a
n a t u r a l, spir it u a l or der . In h a r m on y, pea ce a n d ba la n ce. Wit h t h e pu r e flow of God's
per fect a n d divin e en er gy for ce -- Love.
Th e gr eet in g on Bla ck Love Da y is "Nya Akom a " wh ich m ea n s "get a h ea r t , be
pa t ien t ". Th e Akom a is a n Adin kr a sym bol of love, pa t ien ce, goodwill, fa it h fu ln ess
a n d en du r a n ce". Affir m you r selves wit h t h is gr eet in g. Visu a lize t h e Akom a a s a
sym bol of ou r h ea r t ‟s desir e t o love, t o exper ien ce joy, h a r m on y a n d pea ce. Let u s a ll
r et u r n t o love t o bet t er ou r selves, ou r r ela t ion sh ips, ou r com m u n it ies a n d ou r wor ld.
Beca u se, like m u sicia n , Bob Ma r ley su n g, “We don ‟t n eed n o m o‟ t r ou ble, wh a t we
n eed is love!”.
In t h e Spir it of t h e Akom a (t h e H ea r t )
Ayo H a n dy Ken di

“Fear is a place that has not yet discovered love”
Orin & Daben

37
What‟s So Important About Rituals?
By Ayo Handy-Kendi
A r it u a l, defin ed by sch ola r s, is a specia l a ct t h a t lin ks people t h r ou gh sh a r ed
m ea n in g. It ca n la st a m om en t or ca n be r epea t ed t h r ou gh ou t a lifet im e. “Cer em on ies
a n d celebr a t ion s a t bir t h , weddin gs, r eu n ion s, a n d fu n er a ls a r e h ow we ch a n ge, yet
r em a in con st a n t fr om on e st a ge of life t o a n ot h er ”, wr it es best -sellin g a u t h or Rober t
F u lgh u m in “F r om Begin n in g To E n d” (Villor d).
Rit u a ls a ffect fa m ily a n d com m u n it y, givin g t h em a com m on focu s, br in gin g t h em
t oget h er in a wa y ever yda y a ct ivit ies ca n n ot . Ou r r it u a ls t h en , a ct u a lly iden t ify u s a s a
fa m ily t o ea ch ot h er a n d sepa r a t e u s fr om t h e ou t wa r d wor ld. F or Afr ica n Am er ica n s -wh o sh ow t h e sym pt om s of self-h a t e a n d fa m ily disr u pt ion a s t h e dir ect con sequ en ce of
r a cism , wh ose lega cy of oppr ession , pover t y, a n d com m u n it y det er ior a t ion r ise ou t of
yea r s of en sla vem en t a s displa ced Afr ica n s livin g in Am er ica – t h e est a blish m en t of n ew
r it u a ls a n d n ew t r a dit ion s a r e im por t a n t .
Afr ica , t h e cr a dle of a ll civiliza t ion a n d t h e or igin a l h om ela n d of Afr ica n Am er ica n s
wa s a n d st ill is t oda y st eeped in m a n y r it u a ls t h a t a r e spir it u a l a n d cu lt u r a l. Bot h
ela bor a t e a n d sim ple, r it u a ls for bir t h in g, in it ia t ion in t o a du lt h ood, m a r r ia ge, dea t h a n d
t h e m a n y r ela t ion sh ip beh a vior s in bet ween , a r e celebr a t ed in differ en t wa ys fr om t r ibe
t o t r ibe, fr om r egion t o r egion a n d fr om on e Afr ica n cou n t r y t o a n ot h er . Th er e a r e,
h owever , a few com m on t h r ea ds t h a t lin k a ll of Afr ica ‟s r it u a ls a n d cer em on ies.
Accor din g t o t h e wr it in gs of a n a ccom plish ed a r t ist a n d cr a ft sm a n , E st h er Den del, wh o
spen t yea r s in Liber ia a n d ot h er cou n t r ies in West Afr ica , goin g in t o t h e in t er ior t o st u dy
n ot ju st t h e t ech n iqu es for m a kin g Afr ica n design s bu t t h e spir it beh in d t h em , sh e
iden t ified t wo con cept s deep in t h e h ea r t of Afr ica n peoples: 1. Th e pa ssion for a t t a ch in g
a degr ee of sign ifica n ce t o even t h e sm a llest a ct a n d 2. Th e sen se of m an a or “spir it ” in
t h a t t h er e is a belief t h a t t h e h u m a n a n d t h e spir it u a l a r e in dist in gu ish a ble.
Th u s be it a cr a ft sper son or a pr iest con du ct in g a r it u a l, spir it u a l for ces flow fr om t h e
doer of t h e a ct t o t h e a ct ion a n d fr om t h e a ct ion t o t h e doer . Con du ct or s of cer em on ia l
r it u a ls wer e, t h er efor e, ca r efu lly ch osen , t o a lwa ys m a in t a in t h e r igh t in t en t , a n d be in
r igh t “spir it ” opposed t o con du ct in g a cer em on y in a sa d, a n gr y or evil m ood wh ich wou ld
evoke or m a n ifest t h ese sa m e elem en t s in t h e cer em on y. An ot h er lin k a m on g Afr ica n
r it u a ls a n d cer em on ies is t h a t t h ey a ll a r e design ed t o bu ild u n it y. In h e r en t in t h e
bu ildin g of u n it y, is t h e effor t or r e-a ffir m in g love, t h a t pa sses on fr om on e gen er a t ion t o
a n ot h er . A fin a l lin k is t h a t m a n y a n cien t r it u a ls a r e st ill ser iou sly h eld in h igh h on or
a n d h a ve been r esist a n t t o ch a n ge even in m oder n t im es.
Wh en Afr ica n Am er ica n s, in t h e ea r ly sixt ies bega n en m a ss, t o r ecla im t h eir Afr ica n
h er it a ge t h ey n a t u r a lly bega n t o r ecla im n ew t r a dit ion s t h a t wou ld iden t ify t h em a s a
gr ou p by sea r ch in g for a h er it a ge of r it u a ls a n d t r a dit ion s dest r oyed wh en t h ey wer e
for cibly t a ken fr om t h eir villa ges, t r ibes a n d h om ela n ds. Th e Afr ica n Am er ica n s cu lt u r a l
h olida y of Kwa n za a is t h e best exa m ple of a n ew t r a dit ion t h a t h a s n ow becom e
in st it u t ion a lized a s a n ew “wh olyda y” celebr a t ion of fa m ily, com m u n it y a n d cu lt u r e ou t
of t h e syn t h esis of a n cien t Afr ica n h a r vest celebr a t ion s ca lled “fir st fr u it s” celebr a t ion s.
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His to ric a l B a c k g ro u n d o f Ho lid a y s As “Wh o ly D a y s ”
In a n cien t E gypt , a lso kn own a s Kh em it , a s fa r ba ck a s pr e -dyn a st ic t im es, t h e ea r ly
ca len da r wa s design ed t o m eet t h e a gr icu lt u r a l dem a n ds of t h e n a t ion . Lu n a r in or igin ,
t h e ca len da r h a d 12 m on t h s of 30 da ys ea ch . Th is design a t ion im m edia t ely pr oved t o be
in a ccu r a t e a s t h e lu n a r ca lcu la t ion s m a de by pr iest s did n ot coin cide wit h t h e a ct u a l
r ot a t ion of t h e ea r t h a r ou n d t h e su n . In a sh or t t im e, beca u se of t h e m isca lcu la t ion s, t h e
E gypt ia n s fou n d t h em selves celebr a t in g fest iva ls ou t of sea son . Th u s t h e ca len da r wa s
r evised by a ddin g five da ys a t t h e en d of ea ch yea r t o pr ovide som e ba la n ce t o t h e
ca len da r ca lcu la t ion s.
Th ese five da ys wer e ca lled E pa gom in a l Da ys, a s defin ed by Th e E n cyclopedia of
An cien t E gypt by Ma r ga r et Bu n son . A fu r t h er expla n a t ion of E pa gom in a l Da ys wa s
discu ssed in a speech by Dr . Na im Akba r , h ist or ia n , socia l-psych ologist , a n d lect u r er ,
befor e a n a u dien ce a t t h e Afr ica n -Am er ica n H olida y E xpo. Dr . Akba r st a t ed t h a t
t h ese five da ys wer e ca lled “wh ole da ys”, sin ce t h ey did n ot fa ll in lin e wit h t h e r egu la r
da ys. As qu ot ed fr om h is t a ped lect u r e h e expla in ed t h e or igin of wh olyda ys , wh ich la t er
beca m e h olida ys:
“In t h e a n cien t da ys of Afr ica , in t h e ea r liest ca len da r for m ed, t h e ca len da r of
Kh em it , t h e st r on gest a n d m ost sign ifica n t spir it u a l for ces t h a t gu ided a n d dir ect ed t h e
people wer e celebr a t ed on t h ose five da ys. Th ese wer e filled wit h fea st da ys a n d t h ey
wer e ca lled “wh oly da ys „. Th er e wer e da ys t h a t r em in ded t h e people of t h e in t egr it y a n d
essen ce of wh a t t h ey r epr esen t ed a s a com m u n it y”.
“Th en t h e E u r opea n s su bsequ en t ly ca m e a lon g a n d t h ey wa n t ed t o r eplica t e t h ese
wh olly da ys. Th ey ca lled t h em “h oly” – even t h ou gh t h e or igin a l m ea n in g wa s “wh ole”,
wh ich m ea n s wh ole a n d com plet e (wh ich is t h e r oot wor d of “wh olist ic” u sed m ost
t oda y).”
“Th ese or igin a l a n cien t h olida ys wer e da ys in t h e yea r s t h a t a r e n ot pa r t of t h e
or din a r y da y – bu t da ys of t h e divin e – t h a t en a bled t h e people t o a ppr ecia t e t h eir
“wh olen ess”.
Th e t r a dit ion t h en of ever y people r em in ded t h em t o com m em or a t e t h e spir it u a l a n d
cu lt u r a l. Tr a dit ion s n ot on ly h a ve t h e r espon sibilit y of h oldin g t h e com m u n it y t oget h er
bu t ser ves a s a r ea ffir m a t ion of t h e iden t it y of t h e people.
Th en wh oly beca m e sign ifica n t for t h a t wh ich is m ost com plet e, wh ich is h oliest a n d
t h en h oly beca m e a fu r t h er degen er a t ion or der elict ion of t h e con cept of t h e “wh ole”. Th e
poin t is t h a t h oly da ys, or wh ole da ys, did n ot begin wit h t h e developm en t of t h e
E u r opea n , bu t bega n wit h t h e Afr ica n est a blish m en t t h a t a pa r t of t h e n a t u r a l or der of
t im e a n d t h e st r u ct u r e of t h e cosm os r equ ir ed t h e r ecogn it ion t h a t t h er e wer e da ys in t h e
yea r wh ich wer e n ot a pa r t of t h e or din a r y ca len da r bu t wer e a pa r t of t h e spir it u a l
ca len da r . Th ey wer en ‟t even cou n t ed, in t h e da ys of m a n beca u se t h ey wer e t h e da ys of
t h e divin e, wh ich spoke t o t h e st r u ct u r e of a ll t h er e is. Th ese wer e wh ole da ys.
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Th e t r a dit ion of ever y people is a t r a dit ion t h a t ca r r ies on a n d r em in ds a people a n d
com m em or a t es t h e spir it u a l a n d t h e cu lt u r a l t r a dit ion n ot on ly r espon sible for wh a t
h olds t h e com m u n it y t oget h er , bu t ser ves a s a r ea ffir m a t ion of t h e iden t it y of t h e people.
So, it ‟s n ot ju st a n oppor t u n it y t o be off fr om wor k or a t im e of leisu r e, or ju st a n
oppor t u n it y for fu n a n d r ecr ea t ion , bu t a n oppor t u n it y for r e -cr e-a t ion wit h in t h e
pr in ciples, con cept s a n d va lu es t h a t h old a people t oget h er – t h is is t h e or igin a l con cept
of h olida ys”.
Mama Ayo officiating the ritual of the pouring of Libations in honor of the Ancestors, on the stage at
the Sylvan Theatre, at the foot of the Washington Monument to start off the Hip Hop Caucus
National Rally Against Hate Crimes, 2007. The ritual of Libations is the oldest form of prayer and
praise, originating on the continent of Africa, still practiced there today and throughout the Diaspora,
Photo by JoAnn Jackson
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Candle Rituals
Ayo Handy Kendi
Can d les h ave been u sed to ligh t th e w ay for th e Creator to en ter ou r en ergy
au ras as w ell as ou r h om es, sin ce an cien t tim es. Ch oose can d les for th eir
color to brin g abou t th e en ergy of th at color in to you r field . B e it a sin gle
can d le or a can d le th at bu rn s con tin u ou sly for 7 d ays, m ed itate on th e en ergy
you d esire as you ligh t th e can d le. Circle you r in d ex fin ger arou n d th e w ick
w ith you r in ten tion for th e bu rn in g of th e can d le, in you r th ou gh ts. E n circle
th e w ick 7 tim es an d B reath e d eeply w ith each th ou gh t. T h en w atch you rself
grow as th e can d le glow s. B e in peace
Candle Burning Lore
Meaning of Candle Colors by Entre Nois
WH ITE , P u r it y; P ea ce; Com m u n ion ; Rea d P sa lm s 112
BLACK, F r eedom fr om E vil; Rea d P sa lm s 7 or 12
BLUE , P ea ce in t h e h om e; J oy
; Rea d P sa lm s 80 or 109
RE D, St r en gt h , Ma n h ood; Rea d P sa lm s 138 or 139
P INK, At t r a ct ion , Love; Rea d P sa lm s 8 or 65
BROWN, H elp t o t h e poor ; F in d wor k; Rea d P sa lm s 71 or 72
P URP LE , Con qu er in g, Ma st er y; Rea d P sa lm s 59 or 112
YE LLOW, H elp t h e sick; Religion ; Rea d P sa lm s 59 or 112
ORANGE , La dy Lu ck; Good F or t u n e; Rea d P sa lm s
GOLD, H old Mon ey; Lu ck, Su ccess; Rea d P sa lm s 46
GRE E N, Mon ey; Rea d P sa lm s 4 or 61
MULTI- COLORS, All P u r pose
CANDLE BURNING LORE information from
Entre Nois, Universal Life Church of Metaphysics
REJUVENATE YOUR RELATIONS
ON BLACK LOVE DAY
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THE RELATIONSHIP OF GOOD FRIENDS IS LIKE PEARLS…
THEY‟RE MORE PRECIOUS WITH AGE
Ayo Handy Kendi, founder, Black Love Day
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How to Observe Black Love Day – a Guide
By Ayo Handy Kendi
Like a ll h olida y celebr a t ion s, Bla ck Love Da y, obser ved on F eb. 13 h a s it s cu st om a r y
r it u a ls a n d t r a dit ion s. At pr esen t , a s I h a ve been gu ided, I will a t t em pt t o descr ibe t h e
r it u a ls a n d t r a dit ion s of Bla ck Love Da y wh ich a r e a s follows:
1. Dem on st r a t e love in a 24 h ou r per iod by specifica lly, per for m in g 5 a ct s (t en et s) of love
– t owa r ds t h e Cr ea t or , for self, for fa m ily, wit h in Bla ck com m u n it ies a n d for t h e Bla ck
r a ce;
2. At t en d a pu blic Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y, if possible or con du ct a cer em on y
a t h om e wit h you r self, fa m ily or fr ien ds;
3. Act ively pa r t icipa t e in a Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion , t r a dit ion a lly officia t ed a t t h e Bla ck
Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y on F eb. 13.
I sh a r e t h is im por t a n t u n der st a n din g beca u se, I a m st ill a sked t h is qu est ion oft en in
m y com m u n it y, “wh er e is BLD goin g t o be h eld t h is yea r ?” My r espon se is t h a t BLD is a
“wh a t a r e you goin g t o do t o obser ve love da y”. U n iver sa lly, it is a da y t o dem on st r a t e
love in a ct ion , w h erever you r h eart is in or der t o be r ecept ive a n d willin g t o dem on st r a t e
t h e 5 a ct s (t en et s) of love. At best , in 24 h ou r s, t h e dem on st r a t ion of love ca n be don e
a n ywh er e a n d in a n y cr ea t ive wa y t h a t you feel t h e Cr ea t or m ovin g you t o do. I h a ve
been gu ided t o spea k of t h ese a ct s of love a s “t en et s” wh ich m ea n s, t o obser ve BLD on
F eb. 13 a t t h e ver y m in im u m , on e m u st specifica lly, dem on st r a t e 5 a ct s of love.
At t en din g a Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y p r ovides a com m u n it y pr ogr a m t h a t
offer s a pla t for m for pu blic obser va n ces of BLD in wh ich t h e 5 a ct s (t en et s) of love ca n be
dem on st r a t ed du r in g t h e cer em on ia l r it u a l. You don ‟t ph ysica lly h a ve t o“go t o a BLD –
you m u st a ct ively dem on st r a t e love on BLD, a n d wh er e possible, a t t en d a pr ogr a m or
cer em on y of h ea lin g r it u a ls.
A. D e m o n s tra tin g th e 5 Ac ts (Te n e ts ) o f Lo v e
I en join ea ch per son t o obser ve t h e wh olyda y of BLD by pla n n in g t h eir 5 specific
a ct s of love, if possible, in a dva n ce of F eb. 13, in or der t o a ffect t h e gr ea t est ben efit of t h e
da y -- spir it u a l t r a n sfor m a t ion . H owever , if t h e a ct s h a ve n ot been pla n n ed in a dva n ce,
spon t a n eou sly dem on st r a t in g in love, if don e wit h sin cer e in t en t , ca n be ju st a s posit ive
t o evoke a spir it u a l t r a n sfor m a t ion , t h is da y in som e or wit h in a ll of on e‟s r ela t ion sh ips.
At t h e st r oke of m idn igh t , F eb. 13, Bla ck Love Da y officia lly begin s for a 24 h ou r
per iod. It is in t h is 24 h ou r per iod t h a t on e sh ou ld be m in dfu l of in fu sin g love in
ever yt h in g t h a t you do or t h in k a bou t a n d pr a ct ice r igh t h u m a n r ela t ion s. By u sin g “love
in a ct ion ”, t h a t is, u sin g t h e h ea lin g power t h a t love em a n a t es wh en we do som et h in g
wh ile a ct ively pou r in g ou r love in t o it , we r eceive a spir it u a l exper ien ce. Alt h ou gh t h e
in t en t is spir it u a l, per for m in g a n a ct of love wit h a sen se of fu n a n d/or r om a n ce is fin e
t oo. Ch oosin g on e‟s love a ct s, h owever , sh ou ld a lwa ys be pu r posefu l a n d n ot ju st
fr ivolou s wh ich is t h e ba sis of “love in a ct ion ”.
Tr y dem on st r a t in g t h e 5 a ct s (t en et s) of love, on t h e da y of F eb. 13 a n d I believe
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t h er e will be su ch a good feelin g t h a t people will wa n t t o con t in u e t o pu t love in a ct ion
beyon d F eb. 13. I‟ve in clu ded sever a l pa ges of su ggest ion s for t h e dem on st r a t ion of t h e 5
a ct s (t en et s) of love, followin g t h e descr ip t ion of t h e Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y
a n d Th e Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion .
B . Co m e to th e Ritu a l
Th e Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y, a s it is bein g r evea led t o m e is a spir it u a l
cer em on y, a lwa ys obser ved on t h e wh olyda y of F eb. 13, Bla ck Love Da y, t h a t r a ises t h e
level of love‟s h ea lin g vibr a t ion for spir it u a l t r a n sfor m a t ion of r ela t ion sh ips. Gr a t it u de t o
t h e Cr ea t or t h r ou gh t h e ou t pou r in g of pr a yer , pu blic a pology a n d a t on em en t , spir it u a l
clea n sin g, a ffir m a t ion s for bon din g r ela t ion sh ips, r ecom m it m en t t o lovin g va lu es a n d t h e
ligh t in g of t h e Kin a r a (pr on ou n ced Key n a r r a h ) a n a r t ifa ct sym bol of ou r Afr ica n
An cest or s wit h t h e r ecit a t ion of t h e Ngu zo Sa ba , (Na h goo za h Sa h ba h ), t h e seven
pr in ciples of Bla ckn ess, a r e a ll elem en t s of t h e Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y.
Th e h igh ligh t of t h is cer em on y is Th e Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion , a sa cr ed cer em on y
of a pology, a t on em en t a n d r ela t ion sh ip h ea lin g, wh ich offer s a cer em on ia l r it u a l wh ich
ca n be r eplica t ed by a n yon e or a n y gr ou p. Th e Rit u a l pr ovi des a sa cr ed spa ce, bot h
ph ysica l a n d em ot ion a l, pu blic or pr iva t e, a s a n oppor t u n it y for cer em on ia l edifica t ion
t o bon d a n d r eju ven a t e in t im a t e r ela t ion sh ips, a s well a s com m u n it y r ela t ion sh ips su ch
a s a t r u ce sign in g bet ween ga n g m em ber s. Th e r it u a l is a lso a ppr opr ia t e t o u se for
r econ cilia t ion ga t h er in gs, cer em on ies or occa sion s t h r ou gh ou t t h e yea r , su ch a s a pr a yer
vigil for r a cia l or diver sit y h ea lin g.
Th e u se of fir e for pu r ifica t ion a n d clea r in g; sym bolic elem en t s of h ea lin g, i.e. a n
a lt er , h on ey, sa lt a n d bit t er h er bs; a n d pu blic a n d pr iva t e r econ cilia t ion st a t em en t s of
for given ess a n d a pology; a ll a r e u sed t o evoke Spir it u a l a n d em ot ion a l r elea se a s t h e goa l
for t h e sa cr ed Rit u a l.
Th e Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y, a lon g wit h t h e r it u a l, is a vit a l pa r t of BLD,
h owever it is on ly on e a spect of BLD a n d sh ou ld n ot be con fu sed wit h t h e in t en t of t h e
en t ir e 24 h ou r per iod in wh ich t o dem on st r a t e t h e per for m in g, a t best 5 a ct s (t en et s) of
love -- t owa r ds t h e Cr ea t or , for self, for t h e fa m ily, for t h e Bla ck com m u n it y a n d for t h e
Bla ck r a ce. Th e yea r ly t a kin g pa r t in a spir it u a l, r ela t ion sh ip cer em on y t h a t r a ises t h e
love vibr a t ion for h ea lin g, spir it u a l t r a n sfor m a t ion a n d r econ cilia t ion , ca n be qu it e a
power fu l oppor t u n it y t o br in g t h e com m u n it y t oget h er t o exper ien ce love, a n d h a r m on y.
Th ese ben efit s ca n a lso be felt a s on e goes a bou t t h e da y of F eb. 13, bein g m in dfu l of
dem on st r a t in g love a ccor din g t o t h e 5 a ct s (t en et s). Bu t , if on e does n ot st a y m in dfu l of
t h e 5 t en et s for t h e en t ir e 24 h ou r per iod, by a t t en din g or con du ct in g a Bla ck Love
Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y a n d a ct ively pa r t icipa t in g in t h e Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion , t h ey
ca n , a t lea st , fu lfill t h e 5 a ct s (t en et s) of BLD, a s t h ey a r e in cor por a t ed in t o t h e
cer em on y..
As st a t ed, t h e Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y h a s been h eld in t h e com m u n it y,
bu t ca n a lso be h eld in t h e pr iva cy of on e‟s h om e. It is a sim ple ser vice or pr ogr a m of
a ct ivit ies per for m ed wit h t h e m ost sin cer est in t en t t o be effect ive in h elpin g t h e
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a t t en dees feel a spir it u a l, love-filled “t r a n sfor m a t ion ”. P er for m ed pr efer a bly in t h e
even in g of BLD, a ft er h a vin g dem on st r a t ed t h e 5 a ct s (t en et s) of love t h r ou gh ou t t h e da y,
t h e r ela t ion sh ip cer em on y is t h e per fect clim a x t o br in g closu r e t o a power fu l, blessed
da y.
Wit h AAH A con du ct in g t h e Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y sin ce 1994, wa t ch in g a n d
n u r t u r in g it s evolu t ion in m a n y set t in gs, it h a s in st it u t ion a lized t h e n ew t r a dit ion a n d
exposed t h is r it u a l
t o m a n y differ en t a u dien ces.
As co-cr ea t or of BLD a n d
fou n der /dir ect or of AAH A, Ma m a Ayo h a s coor din a t ed t h r ou gh AAH A, t h e spon sor sh ip
sin ce 1994 of t h e on ly Met r opolit a n /Wa sh in gt on Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y in
obser va n ce of t h e F eb. 13 wh olyda y of spir it u a l t r a n sfor m a t ion t h r ou gh love. We‟ve h eld
t h ese sa cr ed r ela t ion sh ip cer em on ies a t ch u r ch es, a t t h e pu blic libr a r y, a t com m u n it y
a n d gover n m en t con fer en ce r oom s, cu lt u r a l n igh t clu b/r est a u r a n t a n d a t AAH A‟s in n er
cit y com m u n it y cen t er /office. All cer em on ies h a ve been fr ee a n d open t o t h e pu blic,
a ccept in g love don a t ion s.
In t h e fir st yea r s of BLD‟s in fa n cy, we in t r odu ced t h e pu blic obser va n ce fir st a s a
wh olist ic h ea lt h fa ir , h eld a t McKin ley Tech , H .S., in N.E . Wa sh in gt on , D.C. In t h e 2 n d
yea r a t a pu blic libr a r y, we h eld a pr ogr a m of lect u r es, h ea lin g sou n ds a n d t h e
in t r odu ct ion of t h e Bla ck Love Da y Cer em on y a s a n ew t r a dit ion a n d r it u a l. By t h e 3 r d
yea r of BLD, we h eld a pr ogr a m , a t t h e Ma yor ‟s office, ca lled t h e Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip
F a ir a n d offer ed wor ksh ops on job r ela t ion sh ips, h ypn osis for self-est eem by Dr . Ch a r les
F a u lkn er a n d h eld a m a r ket pla ce of m er ch a n t s a n d wh olist ic pr a ct it ion er s wit h Bla ck
Love Gift s / Bla ck H ist or y Mon t h sa le it em s. A BLD Rit u a l, officia t ed by m yself, wa s
in t r odu ced a t t h is fa ir , a lso. Divin e in spir a t ion gu ided m e t o n ot in cl u de a ven dor s‟
m a r ket pla ce in t h e BL Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y, h eld in 1996 in a pu blic sch ool, by t h e 4t h
yea r . Sin ce t h en , r ela t ion sh ip cer em on ies h a ve n ot in clu ded a m a r ket pla ce wh ich h a s
kept t h e spir it u a l focu s on cer em on y, t h u s keepin g t h e a ct ivit y les s com m er cia l.
I descr ibe t h ese va r iou s set t in gs t o m a ke a poin t . As t h e Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip
Cer em on y h a s evolved, we h a ve been divin ely gu ided t o select ea ch of t h ese set t in gs a n d
h a ve cr ea t ed a “sa cr ed spa ce” in ea ch of t h em . I en cou r a ge you t o con sider wh a t I ca ll
t h e a bc‟s of fa it h – Ask, Believe a n d Cla im –wh a t you wa n t . Th a t is, visu a lize or st a t e
you r n eeds by a skin g t h e Cr ea t or t o gu ide you t o t h a t wh ich you believe is a ppr opr ia t e
for t h e set t in g, t h a n believe t h a t t h e Cr ea t or will br in g you wh a t you n eed. F in a lly,
cla im t h e set t in g t h a t becom es a va ila ble t o you t h r ou gh a ccept a n ce. As you visu a lize t h e
a t m osph er e, pa r t icipa n t s, per for m er s, pr epa r a t ion elem en t s a n d ot h er pa r t icu la r s,
t h r ou gh you r fa it h , you r set t in g will be divin ely or der ed. Be open t o cr ea t ivit y a n d even
m ir a cles a s t h e Cr ea t or blesses you a n d t h e cer em on y.
C. F in d in g a n d P re p a rin g th e S ite
In seekin g ou t a set t in g for a r ela t ion sh ip cer em on y, keep in m in d t h a t t h e Rit u a l of
Recon cilia t ion is con du ct ed wit h fir e, so fin din g a qu iet spa ce t h a t a lso a llows you t o u se
som e t ype of fir e elem en t m u st be con sider ed. Also, if t h e Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion is
in clu ded a s pa r t of t h e r ela t ion sh ip cer em on y, a t t en t ion sh ou ld be pla ced on ch oosin g
a spa ce t h a t ca n cr ea t e a n a t m osph er e t h a t su ppor t s a power fu l, spir it u a l cer em on y of
45
t r a n sfor m a t ion , i.e, ca lm , pea cefu l, h ea lin g en vir on m en t . On ce a spa ce is loca t ed t o
h ost t h e cer em on y, it is t h en n ecessa r y t o en su r e a spir it u a l vibr a t ion for h ea lin g
a n d t r a n sfor m a t ion by clea n sin g a n d pu r ifyin g t h e spa ce. It ‟s im por t a n t t o a r r ive ea r lier
t o pr epa r e t h e set t in g for t h is pu r pose.
Move a r ou n d t h e spa ce pa r t icu la r ly t h e cor n er s of t h e r oom , spr in klin g eit h er h oly
wa t er , sea wa t er (wa t er wit h a da sh of sea sa lt ) r iver wa t er , or even , Spr in g Wa t er fr om
a su per m a r ket is a dequ a t e. As on e spr in kles t h e wa t er , a n ea r n est pr a yer sh ou ld be
r ecit ed t h a t a sks for t h e Cr ea t or ‟s blessin g of t h e “sa cr ed spa ce” a n d r em ova l of a ll pr ior
n ega t ive in flu en ces, if a n y.
Aft er pu r ifyin g t h e en er gy of t h e spa ce, cer t a in h er bs ca n a lso be u sed t o a ffect t h e
a r ea ‟s love a n d spir it u a l h ea lin g vibr a t ion . Differ en t h er bs offer differ en t h ea lin g
ca pa bilit ies. I r ecom m en d H yssop wh ich pu r ifies a n d clea n ses t h e vibr a t ion , m a kin g t h e
spa ce spir it u a lly ca lm , or ya r r ow wh ich in cr ea ses t h e h u m a n love en er gy in wh a t ever
pla ce wh er e it is spr in kled. Con t in u e t o pr a y for t h e con dit ion or vibr a t ion t h a t you wish
t o evoke, a ccor din g t o t h e t ype of h er b you ch oose. (Refer t o r efer en ces on h er b a n d
spir it u a l clea n sin g book).
P r epa r e a cu p of fr esh h er bs by pla cin g t h em in a qu a r t m a son ja r of wa t er . Add 2
cu ps of Spr in g Wa t er a n d cover con t a in er . Lea ve in r efr iger a t or for a bou t a week, pr ior
t o t h e cer em on y. Th en u se t o spr in kle t h e floor s, wa lls a n d cor n er s of you r cer em on ia l
spa ce, you r h om e, or wh er e ever you m igh t wa n t t o clea n se. To spr in kle you r solu t ion ,
m er ely t a ke t h e lid off of t h e ja r a n d dip you r clea n sed h a n d in t h e wa t er . F lick t h e
solu t ion t owa r ds t h e wa lls, floor s, et c., a n d let t h e a ir dr y it , even if a lit t le dr ips in a
sm a ll pu ddle, a s lon g a s t h is poses n o sa fet y pr eca u t ion .
D . S e ttin g u p th e Alta r
As in ot h er spir it u a l ser vices, a sim ple a lt a r sh ou ld be set u p wit h t h e ba sic it em s
n eeded t o con du ct t h e r ela t ion sh ip cer em on y a n d t h e Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion . It em s t h a t
a r e essen t ia l a r e:
1. Decor a t e you r a lt a r wit h a bea u t ifu l pu r ple t a bleclot h , gem st on es t h a t fa cilit a t e
h ea lin g, ca n dles, in cen se, H oly Books, it em s for t h e a n oin t in g – essen ce oils, h oly wa t er
or pu r ified wa t er , h on ey – in in dividu a l con t a in er s, pr efer a bly gla ss, in a ddit ion t o
a n yt h in g else t h a t you believe r a ises t h e love vibr a t ion
2. A Kin a r a (a n Afr ica n a r t ifa ct t h a t is t h e sym bolic r epr esen t a t ion of ou r Afr ica n
An cest or s)
3. Th e 7 ca n dles of t h e Ngu zo Sa ba , r epr esen t a t ive of 7 pr in ciples
4. An u r n t o be u sed for t h e Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion A h ea vy m et a l con t a in er , a ca st ir on
skillet , a pot or ket t le m a ke excellen t u r n s, a s well a s sea r ch h er b a n d/or n a t u r a l food
st or es wh er e loose in cen se is sold. Ask for in cen se pot s.
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Two beautiful Akoma table settings with Akoma symbol made of purple hard wood, created by
Tim Pope of the St Louis, T.E.A.C.H. Collective. T.E.A.C.H. (Training, Education, Advancement,
Counseling,& Healing) organized the first outside of Washington, D. C, Black Love Relationship
Ceremony in 2002 and 2004. under the leadership of Johnson Lancaster, (Baba J) a journalist,
activist and T.E.A.C.H. cultural leader.
Photos by Tim Pope
5. A st a n d on wh ich t h e h ot u r n ca n be pla ced sa fely. A la r ge br ick or cin der block is
m ost a ppr opr ia t e for t h is.
6. Self-ign it in g ch a r coa l t o be u sed for t h e Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion , t o be pla ced in t h e u r n
a s t h e m ediu m of fir e pu r ifica t ion . Th is ch a r coa l ca n be pu r ch a sed a t n a t u r a l food st or es.
Use 4-5 ch a r coa l cir cles for a ga t h er in g of 20 or m or e. Use m or e for la r ger cr owds. P la ce
t h em close t oget h er in t h e u r n .
7. P a per a n d pen s so t h a t a t t en dees ca n wr it e r econ cilia t ion st a t em en t s t o be pu t in t h e
r it u a l fir e. Con sider n o la r ger t h a n ¼ of a r egu la r sh eet , so t h a t sm a ll sh eet s of pa per
ca n ea sily sm older in t h e bu r n in g ch a r coa l.
E. Offic ia tin g th e Ce re m o n y
In t h a t t h e BLD Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y a n d t h e Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion a r e
spir it u a l in n a t u r e, t h e officia t or or con du ct or of t h e r it u a ls sh ou ld be pr epa r ed t o ext en d
“m a n a ” (spir it ). Th ey m u st be spir it u a lly clea n sed a n d h old t h e r igh t in t en t t o a ffect a
sweet , lovin g a u r a t o t h e cer em on y a n d posit ive en er gy t o t h e pa r t icipa n t s. Officia t or s
wit h n ega t ive vibr a t ion s will br in g down t h e en t ir e a ffa ir , so be m in dfu l in ch oosin g t h e
cer em on ia l lea der ..
47
F . S u m m a ry Ord e r o f th e Re la tio n s h ip Ce re m o n y
Th e Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y is or ga n ized a s a sim ple pr ogr a m , open ed by Liba t ion s
t o t h e An cest or s, a s a n u n iver sa l pr a yer a n d a descr ipt ion of t h e in t en t ion for t h e
cer em on y. P a r t icipa n t s fir st go in t o silen ce, m edit a t ion , com m u n a l pr a yer s a n d a r e
en cou r a ged t o br ea t h e m or e con sciou sly, in or der t o con n ect on t h e deepest level wit h
God t o fa cilit a t e spea kin g fr om t h e h ea r t a n d n ot fr om t h e h ea d. Spir it u a l m u sic,
dr u m m in g, son gs of h a r m on y, poet r y of pea ce a n d r econ cilia t ion , ca n a lso be offer ed t o
r ela x a n d cr ea t ively expr ess. Gr ou p spoken pr a yer is a sh a r ed pr a yer , wh ich ca n a lso be
offer ed, a lon g wit h t h e a ffir m a t ion s for com m u n it y bon din g.
Th e cer em on ia l pr ogr a m in clu des pu blic a pology wh ich is spoken t est im on ies st a t ed
befor e a com m u n it y ga t h er in g t o expr ess a pology, r econ cilia t ion , a t on em en t , or
for given ess. Sim ila r t o a "wa t ch n igh t " t est im on ia l, per son s a t r a n dom st a n d u p, st a t e
t h eir n a m e, r eceive a ckn owledgem en t by t h e gr ou p a n d t h en spea k t h eir sin cer e
t est im on y, a ccept ed by t h e con gr ega t ion wit h a n a gr eed-u pon a ffir m a t ion , su ch a s
“Ash e”, “Am en ” or “Go in pea ce”
Th e pr ogr a m con t in u es wit h per son a l a n d pr iva t e wr it in g of r econ cilia t ion
st a t em en t s on pa per , wh ich a r e t h en bu r n ed in a n u r n of F ir e. On e sh ou ld n a m e t h e
r ela t ion sh ip or issu e t h a t n eeds r econ cilia t ion a n d a sk t h e Cr ea t or for r elea se of a n y
em ot ion t h a t is blockin g
P a r t icipa n t s ga t h er in a cir cle, wit h a n officia t or a dm in ist er in g t h e elem en t s, r et u r n
t o t h eir sea t in pea ce a n d t a ke a m om en t of silen ce t o a bsor b t h e power fu l, spir it u a l
h ea lin g of t h is a ct of t r a n sfor m a t ion (r econ n ect ion wit h Th e Cr ea t or t h a t m oves on e t o
ch a n ge).
Th is Rit u a l ca n a lso st a n d-a lon e a s a n a lt er exh ibit , in wh ich pa r t icipa n t s m ove
t h r ou gh t h e r it u a l a t t h eir own pa ce. Th e Rit u a l ca n a lso be in a ct ed in t h e pr iva cy of
t h eir h om e.
Depen din g on t h e r econ cilia t ion n eed, t h is dem on st r a t ion of love a n d for given ess
ca n clea n se t h e spir it of a n y pa in , a n ger , r even ge, lin ger in g r esen t m en t s, m a lice,
m isu n der st a n din g, gu ilt , den ia l, gr ief, h ea r t a ch e, h a t e, violen ce, r a cist a t t it u des,
in t oler a n ce or isola t ion , t o be r epla ced by love, h ope, pea ce, t ea m -wor k, in t er con n ect edn ess a n d spir it u a l t r a n sfor m a t ion
Ce re m o n ia l P ro g ra m S p e c ific s :
1. Gro u p S p o k e n P ra y e r - a n ou t pou r in g of spoken pr a yer by t h e con gr ega t ion u sin g
wh a t ever pr a yer or wor sh ip m et h od ea ch so desir es. P r a y sin cer ely, for a t lea st 2 -3
m in u t es (or u n t il t h e ga t h er in g cea ses). E xpr ess love a n d gr a t it u de for t h a t wh ich t h e
Cr ea t or h a s blessed you wit h . Ask for h ea lin g of t h e r ela t ion sh ip wi t h self, t h e fa m ily,
on e‟s com m u n it y, a n d t h e Bla ck r a ce. Ask for h ea lin g of a ll r ela t ion sh ips a n d of
h u m a n it y. Give t h a n ks a n d pr a ise for t h e en d of violen ce a n d t h e in cr ea se of pea ce, t h e
en d of r a cism , or a n y socia l in ju st ice. Give t h a n ks a n d pr a is e for t h e h ea lin g power of
48
love t o t r a n sfor m ou r r ela t ion sh ips. F eel t h e Cr ea t or open u p t h e con gr ega t ion body a n d
t h e h ea r t , a s t h e fer vor of t h e pr a yer in cr ea ses t h e love en er gy fr om t h is bon din g.
Spoken pr a yer is a n a ct (t en et ) of love for t h e Cr ea t or a n d for self.
2. Affirm a tio n s fo r B o n d in g - a st a t em en t of con n ect ion a n d bon din g. Th is cou ld be a
r ea din g of a h oly book or a n a ffir m a t ion t h a t is cr ea t ed for t h e specifics of a gr ou p or
con gr ega t ion wh ich fu lfills t h e a ct of love for self, com m u n it y or t h e r a ce. An a ffir m a t ion
of bon din g ca n a lso r econ n ect u n it y a t a fa m ily r it u a l, a s a n a ct of love for t h e fa m ily.
Sist er a u t h or a n d em power m en t specia list , Iya n la Va n za n t , h a s sever a l books wit h gr ea t
a ffir m a t ion s for bon din g. We offer “Th e Coven a n t ” on pa ge 53 .
3. Ce le bra tio n o f Lo v e - To open u p t h e love vibr a t ion , it ‟s r ecom m en ded t h a t we
celebr a t e love t h r ou gh t h e expr ession of evoca t ive m u sic, poet r y, son g or spoken wor d
du r in g t h is segm en t . P er for m a n ces sh ou ld best ow t h e bea u t y of love, pe a ce,
r econ cilia t ion , fa m ily va lu es, a n d/or offer spir it u a l pr a ise. In t h e pa st sever a l yea r s, I
h a ve in t r odu ced joy br ea t h in g wh ich h a s br ou gh t u p t h e level of life in celebr a t ion .
Mom en t s of silen ce for vict im s of violen ce ca n be h eld n ow du r in g t h is se gm en t , a s a
celebr a t ion of t h e life for m m ovin g in t o spir it for m .
4. P u blic Ap o lo g y - spoken t est im on ies st a t ed befor e t h e ga t h er in g t h a t expr ess
for given ess, r econ cilia t ion , a t on em en t or a pology. Depen din g on t h e a pology, t h is
dem on st r a t ion of love ca n fu lfill a ll of t h e a ct s (t en et s) of love for BLD. Sim ila r t o a
“wa t ch n igh t ” t est im on ia l, per son s a t r a n dom st a n d u p, st a t e t h eir n a m e, a r e
a ckn owledged by t h e gr ou p by t h e gr eet in g, “Nya Akom a ” a n d t h en spea k t h eir sin cer e
t est im on y. Th is a ct of love ca n clea n se t h e spir it of a n y pa in , a n ger , r even ge, lin ger in g
r esen t m en t s, m a lice, m isu n der st a n din g, gu ilt , den ia l, gr ief, h ea r t a ch e, h a t e, violen ce,
r a cist a t t it u des, t o be r epla ced by love, h ope, pea ce a n d spir it u a l t r a n sfor m a t ion
(r econ n ect ion wit h Th e Cr ea t or t h a t m oves you t o ch a n ge)
5. Ritu a l o f Re c o n c ilia tio n – per son a l a n d pr iva t e wr it in g of r econ cilia t ion
st a t em en t s on pa per , t h a n bu r n ed in fir e con st it u t es t h e Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion . On e
sh ou ld n a m e t h e r ela t ion sh ip t h a t n eeds r econ cilia t ion a n d a sk t h e Cr ea t or for r elea se of
a n y em ot ion t h a t is blockin g t h e wa y for r econ cilia t ion . On e ca n con n ect wit h t h e fir st
st ep of a t on em en t by a dm it t in g t h e wr on g; a sk for for given ess or give for given ess; r elea se
t h e em ot ion s a n d let go a n d let God . Aft er wr it in g t h e st a t em en t , t h ose wh o a r e willin g,
com e t owa r ds a n a lt er set u p for t h e cer em on y. By pla cin g t h eir st a t em en t in t h e u r n of
fir e a n d a ffir m in g t h a t t h e Cr ea t or will a ccept t h e r econ cilia t ion st a t em en t , t h is a ct
lit er a lly a n d sym bolica lly bu r n s a wa y t h e dr oss of con fu sion su r r ou n din g dish a r m on iou s
sit u a t ion s.
Spir it u a l ch a n ge, im m edia t ely becom es possible, sim ila r t o t h e im m edia t e ch a n ge t h a t
occu r s a s t h e pa per st a t em en t bu r n s in t o a sh . As t h e st a t em en t sm older s in t h e
ch a r coa l, t h e pa r t icipa n t visu a lizes t h e en er gy of t h e issu e t o be ch a n ged m et a ph ysica lly
a n d t h e r ela t ion sh ip a s ch a n ged, n ever t o be t h e sa m e a ga in !
.
P a r t icipa n t s t h en r et u r n t o t h eir sea t a n d t a ke a m om en t of silen ce t o a bsor b t h e
power fu l, spir it u a l h ea lin g of t h is a ct of t r a n sfor m a t ion . Depen din g on t h e r econ cilia t ion
49
n eed, t h is dem on st r a t ion of love ca n fu lfill a ll of t h e a ct s (t en et s) of love for BLD.
6. S p iritu a l An o in tin g – a h a n ds-on blessin g of pu r ifica t ion t h a t fu r t h er open s t h e
con n ect ion bet ween t h e Cr ea t or a n d on e‟s h igh er self wh ich in cr ea ses t h e love
vibr a t ion t o spir it u a l t r a n sfor m a t ion . E n cou r a ge pa r t icipa t ion of wh olist ic h ea ler s,
spir it u a list s, pr iest s or m in ist er s t o a ssist t h e officia t or in t h e a n oin t in g. If n o on e is
a va ila ble, t h e officia t or or gr ou p lea der ca n a dm in ist er t h e a n oin t in g. Th is
dem on st r a t ion of love ca n fu lfill a ll of t h e a ct s (t en et s) of love for BLD. P a r t icipa n t s
ga t h er in a Cir cle P r a yer , join h a n ds a n d close t h eir eyes. Th e Officia t or m oves fr om
per son t o per son u sin g ot h er h ea lin g elem en t s t o r econ cile, su ch a s:
a . Wa t er - r epr esen t in g pu r ifica t ion , spr in kled over t h e h ea d t o pu r ify a n d clea r ou r
t h ou gh t s for good in t en t ion ;
b. Nu t m eg - r epr esen t in g t h e bit t er h er b for t h e bit t er r esen t m en t s t h a t m u st be
h ea led, in gest ed by pla cin g a pin ch on t h e t on gu e;
c. H on ey – r epr esen t in g t h e sweet t im es of life a n d r ela t ion sh ips in gest ed by pla cin g
a t a st e on t h e t on gu e;
d. Sa lt – r epr esen t in g t h e elem en t t h a t h elps sea l or bin ds wou n ds, t h a t a lso clea r s
t h e wa y, spr in kled over ea ch sh ou lder .
Spir it u a l a n oin t er s ca n a lso com e beh in d t h e wa t er a n oin t in g wit h ot h er elem en t s like
F r a n kin cen se a n d Myr h h or Sa n dlewood essen ce oils t o pla ce on t h e for eh ea d a n d in
bet ween t h e eyes t o open u p “t h e t h ir d eye” or t h e m ir r or t o t h e sou l .
Wit h ea ch a n oin t in g, t h e officia t or con t in u ou sly r epea t s t h e followin g gr a t it u de
a ffir m a t ion u sin g t h e 5 t en et s of Bla ck Love a n d i n cl u d e i n t h e n a m e of t h e God of
you r u n d er st a n d i n g .
:
T h a n k you Mot h er /Fa t h er /God * for you r l ov e.
T h a n k you _ Mot h er /Fa t h er /God for m y sel f Lov e
T h a n k you _ Mot h er /Fa t h er /God for m y fa m i l y
T h a n k you Mot h er /Fa t h er /God for m y com m u n i t y*
T h a n k you Mot h er /Fa t h er /God _ for l ov i n g , Bl a ck * P eop l e (*Ca n a l so u se
h er e t h e n a m e of t h e com m u n i t y/n ei g h b or h ood you w a n t t o r ep r esen t )
7. Ca n d le lig h tin g o f th e Kin a ra . Th is r it u a l is per for m ed in t h e sa m e m a n n er a s in
t h e ca n dleligh t in g r it u a l of Kwa n za a . Th e Mish u m a a Sa ba (7 ca n dles ) a r e set in t h e
sa m e pa t t er n – t h e bla ck ca n dle for Um oja (Un it y) is pla ced in t h e cen t er of t h e
ca n dleh older wit h t h e 3 r ed ca n dles t o t h e r igh t a n d t h e 3 gr een ca n dles t o t h e left . Th e
color s r epr esen t Bla ck for t h e people, Red for t h e blood t h a t wa s sh ed by so m a n y
desir in g fr eedom a n d Gr een for t h e la n d of Afr ica a n d h ope for pr osper it y in ou t figh t for
fr eedom . Th e cir cle a ffir m s: “As a n a ct of love t o t h e Cr ea t or , m y self, m y fa m ily, m y
Bla ck com m u n it y a n d t h e Bla ck r a ce, I com m it t o t h e Ngu zo Sa ba (Th e 7 P r in ciples of
Bla ckn ess I will pr a ct ice t h ese pr in ciples on a da ily a n d yea r -lon g ba sis n ot ju st du r in g
Kwa n za a : Um oja - Un it y; Ku jich a ga lia - Self Det er m in a t ion ; Ujim a - Collect ive Wor k
a n d Respon sibilit y; Uja m a a - Cooper a t ive E con om ic; Nia - P u r pose; Ku u m ba - Cr ea t ivit y;
50
Im a n i – F a it h ”.
Th e Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y en ds wit h t h e cir cle st ill h oldin g h a n ds wit h ou t
u n lin kin g or br ea kin g t h e bon ds of t h e r ela t ion sh ip a s t h ey a lt oget h er r ea ch t owa r d t h e
sky, sh ou t in g 7 t im es, “H a r a m bee” wh ich m ea n s “let s a ll pu ll t oget h er .” Th en t h e cir cle
st a n ds wit h a r m s a r ou n d ea ch ot h er ‟s wa ist for a Cir cle H u g by closin g t owa r ds t h e
cen t er a s t igh t ly a s possible a n d squ eezin g t oget h er , a ll a t on ce, on t h e cou n t of 3. Th e
“Kiss of Love” is a n ot h er closin g r it u a l, especia lly wh en t h e a u dien ce is m or e in t im a t e
wit h t h e pa r t icipa n t s sh a r in g a kiss a n d r ever sin g it , u n der t h e a ffir m a t ion , “wh a t you
give is wh a t you get ”. Th e Officia t or a ffir m s a lovin g sa lu t a t ion su ch a s “Go in Love,
P ea ce a n d H a r m on y. Go wit h Bla ck Love”.
G. Th e U s e Of F ire in th e Ritu a l o f Re c o n c ilia tio n
Accor din g t o Mu a t a Abh a ya Ash by, a u t h or of “E gypt ia n Yoga , t h e H ist or y a n d
P r a ct ice of Yoga E xer cise in An cien t E gypt , h e st a t es, “fir e is sym bolic of bot h ph ysica l
a n d m en t a l pu r ifica t ion .
Most im por t a n t ly, fir e im plies wisdom , t h e ligh t of t r u t h ,
illu m in a t ion a n d en er gy…” Sin ce a n cien t t im es, fir e h a s been con sider ed a n elem en t of
ch a n ge a s h a r d m a t t er t u r n s t o a sh a n d t o evoke t h e m et a ph ysica l ch a n ge of in dividu a ls,
fir e h a s been u sed in m a n y cer em on ies t o spir it u a lly evoke t h is pu r pose.
H. Th e Afric a n An c e s tra l P re c e d e n ts fo r B LD Ritu a ls
Th e Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y a n d t h e Rit u a l of Recon cilia t ion h a ve been
der ived fr om a n u m ber of sou r ces, r it u a ls, cer em on ies a n d spir it u a l clea n sin g r it es a n d
a ct ivit ies syn t h esized fr om Afr ica ‟s pa st a n d pr esen t , Afr ica n Am er ica n cu l t u r e, r it es,
r it u a ls, m et a ph ysica l a n d spir it u a l a ct ivit ies.
In m y sh a r in g t h e BLD con cept t o ot h er s, m a n y br ot h er s a n d sist er s fr om t h e Afr ica n
con t in en t h a ve sm iled wit h r ecogn it ion sh a r in g t o m e t h a t t h e wh olyda y‟s love a n d
for given ess r it u a ls of BLD bea r r esem bla n ce t o m a n y cer em on ies, r it es a n d fest iva ls of
a n cien t a n d m oder n -da y Afr ica .
Wit h ou t t h e a wa r en ess of t h ese pr eceden t , love
cer em on ies on a con sciou s level, it h a s been m a de clea r t o m e, t h a t I co-cr ea t ed t h e BLD
r it u a ls t h r ou gh t h e su b-con sciou s m em or y of m y gen es. P r ior t o BLD, I h a d n o
kn owledge of t h ese a n d t h eir a wa r en ess ju st seem ed t o com e t o m e by m a n y differ en t
m ea n s a n d sou r ces. I h a ve n ot com plet ed a ll of t h e r esea r ch on t h ese pa st a n d pr esen t
cer em on ies of love, a t on em en t a n d for given ess r it u a ls, so will on ly m a ke r efer en ce in t h is
wr it in g.
In West Ca m er on a n d Ga bon , Con go – t h e Ba n t u cu st om of Qu in n is obser ved, in
wh ich on ce a yea r , in Decem ber , wh ole t r ibes com e t oget h er t o t h a n k t h e fa m ily for t h e
h u sba n d a n d wife‟s a n n iver sa r y a n d for fr ien dsh ip. Rit u a ls of fir e a r e u sed.
Th e Aka n ‟s in Gh a n ia n societ y u se spir it u a l clea n sin g a n d spir it u a l r eju ven a t ion t o
for get a bou t t h e pa st . Offer fest ivit ies t o wa sh a wa y pa st pr oblem s a n d for t h e
set t lem en t of fa m ily pr oblem s. Love is eleva t ed on a socia l, spir it u a l a n d ph ysica l level.
P u blic a ct ivit ies, fa m ily fea st in g a n d fa m ily m eet in gs h elp t o n ot isola t e love bu t love is
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in t r in sic t o ever yt h in g…fa m ily fea st in g sign ifies t h e r ela t ion sh ip com in g ba ck t oget h er
a ga in .
In Sen ega l, for given ess is a sked du r in g t h e H oly Mon t h of Ra m a da n .
Dr . Kwa ku Ofor i-An sa , Associa t e P r ofessor of Afr ica n Ar t H ist or y, in t h e College of
F in e Ar t s a t H owa r d Un iver sit y, m a de r efer en ce t o t r iba l, m a ss for u m s wh er e people ju st
a pologize, t h a n h a ve a m a ss m ea l, da n cin g a n d n o m or e m en t ion is m a de of t h e in ciden t
wh ile people m ove on . H e a lso spoke on love, a s viewed in Afr ica n t r a dit ion , a s t h e
a bilit y t o bu ild u n it y, beca u se you a r e r e-a ffir m in g love t h a t pa sses on fr om on e
gen er a t ion t o a n ot h er . “All Afr ica n r it u a ls a n d cer em on ies a r e design ed t o bu ild u n it y
a n d t h e sen se of love is in h er en t in t h e wa y of life.
Refer r in g in t h e Adin kr a Dict ion a r y, by W. Br u ce Willis, on t h e a n cien t , Adin kr a
sym bol, Th e Akom a , it lit er a lly t r a n sla t es a s “t h e h ea r t ”, bu t n ot t h e ph ysica l h ea r t , bu t
t h e spir it u a l h ea r t . If a n Aka n per son t ells som eon e, “M a kom a wo wo m u ” it m ea n s
“m y h ea r t is in you , wh ich is m er ely a n ot h er wa y of sa yin g, “I love you ”. Th e ph r a se,
“Aka m e a kom a ” or a ka m a kom a , m ea n s I love or like a pa r t icu la r design . On e ca n
expr ess it a lso “a s m y h ea r t goes wit h it or wit h you ”.

Ahoofe ntua ka, suban pa na hia"
(Physical beauty does not count much,
It is good character that counts.)
"Obi nkyere abofra Nyame"
(No one shows a child the Supreme Being")
Affirmations in the Twi language of the Akan people of Ghana.

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“The Covenant” – An Affirmation of Bonding
by Grady Poulard
Affirmation of Bonding: “The Covenant” was offered to AAHA as an affirmation of bonding
by Mr Grady Poulard of Unity Church, Wash, D.C. His covenant is ideal, but of course, you
can use your own creation. The above “Covenant has been included in the Black Love
Ceremony and in other gatherings by permission of Mr. Poulard, who is pleased that his
“covenant” will be in service to help further reconnect people. To express the “Covenant”:
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
All stand with each person turning to face a partner;
Look directly in your partner‟s eyes;
Without laugher or movement, recite each line after group leader;
Speak each line with conviction and intent as affirmations should be spoken;
At the end of recitation, partners should hug and then turn to another and hug.
“The Covenant” by Grady Poulard
I regard myself
And you
As being created
In the image of God
I see your beauty
I sense your power
I celebrate your potential
I support your prerogative
To sing your song
I share your pursuit
Of a higher quality of life
I will tell you the truth
And I will have your trust
I will listen to you
With my heart
And I shall speak to you
With my smile
I shall care enough
To confront you
And to comfort you
In you, I see God
And in God, I see you
You are beautiful
And I love you
(Give a big hug! Hug others)
DEDICATED TO RASHID
And to all Youth to heal their
relationships
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FOR 24 HOURS ON FEB 13TH - BLACK LOVE DAY,
FOCUS ON HEALING RELATIONSHIPS!
TO INCREASE THE PEACE! TO STOP THE VIOLENCE,
TO STOP RACISM! RETURN TO LOVE!
-- Ayo Handy Kendi, founder, Black Love Day
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How to Demonstrate the 5 Acts of Love on Black
Love Day – A List of Suggestions
by Ayo Handy-Kendi
D e m o n s tra tin g Lo v e In Ac tio n F o r Th e Cre a to r
1) At m idn igh t on F ebr u a r y 13 t h or u pon t h e m om en t of you r a wa ken in g, let t h e t h ou gh t
of “Th e Alm igh t y” be you r fir st t h ou gh t . Ca ll ou t t h e n a m e of t h e God of you r
u n der st a n din g (God Alm igh t y Alla h , Yesh u a , Kr ish n a , Ya h weh , E loh im , J eh ova h ,
Th e Most H igh , Th e Cr ea t or , Net er , J a h , Ch r ist J esu s, Olu du m a r e, Gr ea t Spir it , I
AM, et c).
2) Be in a st a t e of gr a t it u de a n d a ppr ecia t ion of a ll of you r blessin gs a n d give pr a ise
t h r ou gh ou t t h e da y t o t h e Most H igh . Kn eel in h u m ble su bm ission a n d in h on or a ble
r ever en ce. P r a y wit h sin cer it y givin g t h a n ks, a n d a skin g for a ssist a n ce for “God -like”
beh a vior a n d r igh t t h in kin g on t h is da y a n d t h e da ys t o com e. F ocu s you r life t o be
lived a s if in t h e pr esen ce of God wa t ch in g you r ever y t h ou gh t , a ct ion a n d deed.
3) Ma ke ext r a pr a yer s t h a n wh a t is u su a l for you . Mu slim s m a y Deka r ; Ca t h olics r ecit e
t h eir r osa r y. (See pr a yer select ion )
4) Rea d scr ipt u r e a n d m a ke a pledge t o you r self t o spen d m or e t im e, da ily, r ea din g t h e
Wor d. Be it t h e H oly Bible, t h e H oly Qu r ‟a n , t h e Bh a ga va d Git a , Th e Tor a h or a n y
ot h er book of spir it u a l la w. Th e in spir ed wor ds fr om a divin e sou r ce will give you
gu ida n ce, com for t a n d h ope, in a wor ld con fu sed wit h violen ce, r a cism a n d in ju st ice.
5) Ligh t a ca n dle for pea ce, h a r m on y, ba la n ce a n d gr a t it u de for blessin gs of t h a t wh ich
you do h a ve. (See Ca n dle Lor e ).
6) Clea n se you r h om e wh ich is a r eflect ion of you r ou t er a n d in n er self. H om es t h a t a r e
in or der r eflect t h e pea ce a n d or der of you r m in d. H om es t h a t a r e ou t of or der r eflect
t h e con fu sion a n d disa r r a y of ou r lives.
7) Clea n se floor s a n d wa lls wit h a few dr ops of a m m on ia in wa t er for spir it u a l clea n sin g
t o er a se n ega t ivit y.
8) Open win dows (ju st a few m in u t es if it ‟s Win t er t im e!) t o let n a t u r a l a ir flow t h r ou gh
t o a wa ken a n d clea r t h e en er gy in t h e h om e.
9) Use F lor ida Wa t er t h a t h a s been blessed t o bless t h e h om e.
10) Add a t ea spoon of cin n a m on in wa t er t o a dd sweet n ess t o t h e disposit ion of t h e r oom .
Be ext r a m in dfu l of clea n in g ou t closet s a n d dr a wer s for t h ey r epr esen t ou r deepest
h idden feelin gs wh ich n eed t o be clea r ed ou t .
11) Spir it u a lize a n d pu r ify you r h om e wit h in cen se, m yr r h , sa ge or cider .
12) F a st for spir it u a l pu r ifica t ion a n d self-r est r a in t .
13) Silen t ly m edit a t e or do a “t a lk fa st ” by n ot spea kin g or list en in g t o m u sic; focu s on ly
on h igh er t h ou gh t s of t h e Cr ea t or a n d you r blessin gs.
14) Sin g or ch a n t spir it u a l son gs. Tu r n on a gospel or “good n ews” r a dio st a t ion or list en
t o a spir it u a l syn er gy m u sic t a pe.
15) Ta ke a wa lk in n a t u r e. E n joy ever y sea son in t h is wa y for t h ey a ll h a ve bea u t y a n d
pu r pose in t h e n a t u r a l or der of t h in gs.
16) Set u p a spir it u a l a lt a r in you r h om e in a pla ce t h a t is qu iet a n d u n dist u r bed. Iya n la
Va n za n t ‟s “Ta ppin g t h e P ower Wit h in ” offer s su ggest ion s for sever a l t ypes of a lt a r s.
Also con su lt a Yor u ba pr iest .
17) Be in ser vice t h is da y by givin g of you r self t o a id som eon e less for t u n a t e. Give in
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ch a r it y or t it h e 10% of you r ea r n in gs t h is da y t o t h e pla ce wh er e you r spir it is feed.
18) Sh ow love, give love a n d r eceive love t o a ll a n d fr om a ll beca u se God is love, a n d we
a r e t h e im a ge of t h e Most H igh ...F eel t h e spir it u a l essen ce in ever yon e a n d
ever yt h in g.
19) Affir m you r “God-Mor n in g” a s you r good m or n in g vibe for t h e r est of t h e da y.
20) D e m o n s tra tin g Lo v e In Ac tio n F o r S e lf
21) Be in a st a t e of for given ess. J u st a s t h e Cr ea t or for gives u s, so sh a ll we for give
ot h er s. Th e m or e we for give ot h er s, we will be for given for t h e sin s t h a t we h a ve
im posed on ou r selves a n d ot h er s. F or given ess r elea ses t h e dest r u ct ive n ega t ive
em ot ion of a n ger , a n d open s t h e h ea r t spir it u a lly. F or give you r self. F or give you r
m a t e. F or give t h e wr on gs don e t o you by som eon e in you r own r a ce. F or give t h e pa st
wr on gs don e t o Bla cks by Wh it es; Rem em ber , for given ess does n ot m ea n t o for get t h e
lesson s.
22) Rea d a bou t for given ess in t h e followin g su ggest ed books: Qu een Afu a ‟s “H eal T h yself”,
Iya n la Va n za n t ‟s “Acts Of Faith ”, Ca t h er in e P on der ‟s “T h e Dyn am ic L aw s of
Prosperity”.
23) Ma ke you r self la u gh a n d sm ile t h r ou gh ou t t h e da y. Sm ile s br in g ben eficia l
en dor ph in s in t o t h e br a in , com pa r ed t o fr own s; a n d la u gh t er ca n be m edicin e. Tr y it
a n d feel good!
24) Ta ke a spir it u a l ba t h . Clea n se a wa y ph ysica l dir t in a sh ower . Clea n ba t h t u b, r efill
wit h wa t er . Add ¼ cu p ba kin g soda wit h pin ch of sea sa lt . E m er ge body a n d wh ole
h ea d t h r ee t im es, wh ile r ecit in g pr a yer s for spir it u a l clea n sin g. Wa t er is kn own for
it s h ea lin g pr oper t ies, it s a bilit y t o r em ove spir it u a l blocks a n d t o con n ect u s on a
h igh er pla n e. Th er e a r e m a n y t ypes of spir it u a l ba t h s. Con su lt “Spir it u a l Clea n sin g
– A H a n dbook of P sych ic P r ot ect ion ” by Dr a ja MicKa h a r ic.
25) Wea r you r n icest clot h es t h is da y. Con sider wea r in g t h ese color s on t h is da y: Th e
Bla ck Love Color s a r e P u r ple for spir it u a lit y, h igh er m in d a n d Bla ck for fr eedom fr om
evil; Ot h er color s t h a t r a ise t h e love vibr a t ion a r e: Soft P in k for love; Gr een for
h ea lin g; Yellow for pea ce a n d t r a n qu ilit y.
26) H u g you r self a n d h u g ot h er s. A h u g is on e of t h e best wa ys t o con n ect t h r ou gh t h e
h ea lin g power of h u m a n t ou ch . (See H u g su ggest ion s )
27) Look in t h e m ir r or a n d give you r self som e posit ive self-t a lk. P a t you r self on t h e ba ck
for a job well don e. Sa y posit ive a ffir m a t ion s t o you r self a n d a ffir m t h a t wh ich you
wa n t t o a ccom plish . Affir m you r goodn ess, you r gr ea t n ess a n d love.
28) P r ovide specia l t r ea t m en t for you r t em ple (you r body).
29) E a t a h ea lt h y m ea l, if n ot in a fa st in g st a t e. E a t less fr ied foods, less su ga r t h is da y,
in st ea d a dd m or e wa t er , fr u it s a n d veget a bles, a n d ea t slowly t o en joy ea t in g t h ese
ben eficia l, n a t u r a l, fr esh foods.
30) Clea n se you r r efr iger a t or of a ll dea d food wh ich is pollu t in g ot h er foods.
31) Ma ke a r esolve t o st a r t t h e diet you m a y h a ve been pu t t in g off. Th e best diet is t o ju st
ch a n ge you r ch oices of foods, t h e a m ou n t s you ea t a n d wh en you ea t t h em . P lu s a dd
m or e wa t er , cu t down on soda s.
32) Resolve a lso t o st a r t a n exer cise pr ogr a m – on e t h a t is su it a ble t o you r lifest yle a n d
t im e r est r ict ion s. St a r t on t h is da y, t o a t lea st st r et ch , r ea ch in g u p t o t h e sky a s h igh
a s you ca n , a n d h oldin g t h is posit ion for a bou t a m in u t e. Th en lea n for wa r d, slowly,
56
let t in g a r m s da n gle in fr on t of you , a n d you ben d for wa r d a t t h e wa ist . E n joy t h is
gen t le st r et ch of m u scles u n u sed t o a wa ken you r body. Br in g you r self er ect ver y
slowly. Repea t 2-3 t im es. An ot h er sim ple exer cise is t o t a ke a wa lk for a t lea st 20
m in u t es.
33) Love you r self t o give you r self m or e life by pr a ct icin g deep con sciou s br ea t h in g. P la ce
h a n d on st om a ch a n d obser ve. Slowly, expa n d st om a ch ou t a s we in h a le , gen t ly
colla pse st om a ch in , a s we exh a le. To r ega in t h e cor r ect wa y of br ea t h in g, m ea n s t o
r econ dit ion ou r selves fr om t h e ba d h a bit of ch est or sh a llow br ea t h in g, wh ich we‟ve
a llowed ou r bodies t o fa ll in t o t h a t is n ot t h e n a t u r a l wa y of br ea t h in g we did a s
in fa n t s. P r oper br ea t h in g ba la n ces t h e body, clea n ses t h e syst em , r ela xes a wa y
t en sion , con t r ols t h e m in ds a n d con n ect s u s on t h e h igh er pla n e t o Th e Alm igh t y. Th e
La t in r oot for t h e wor d “Spir it ” m ea n s “t o Br ea t h e. Br ea t h e in m or e of t h e Cr ea t or ‟s
Spir it , a s we br ea t h e wit h con sciou sn ess, t h en r econ n ect wit h en h a n ced life for ce for
in cr ea sed “posit iven er gy”. Rea d Ma m a Ayo‟s “Th e P ower of t h e Br ea t h ” for m or e
in for m a t ion a n d t ech n iqu es of Br ea t h wor k for bet t er life a n d h ea lt h .
34) On t h is da y, r espect you r self a n d ot h er s. Do n on e of t h e followin g beh a vior s:
35) P u t a n yt h in g in you r body t h a t ca n h a r m it ;
36) Lie;
37) Gossip;
38) Be ju dgm en t a l a n d over ly cr it ica l;
39) Get a n gr y;
40) F igh t or Ar gu e;
41) Cu r se;
42) Spea k in h a r sh t on es;
43) Spea k h a r sh ly of you r self or a n ot h er ;
44) Na m e-Ca ll or pu t down you r self or ot h er s;
45) In st ea d, do t h e followin g: Be polit e a n d cou r t eou s;
46) Be pa t ien t wit h you r self a n d ot h er s;
47) Be h on est bu t spea k you r t r u t h wit h discr et ion a n d gen t len ess;
48) List en m or e, spea k less;
49) Sa y kin d t h in gs a n d look for wa ys t o give pr a ise;
50) Negot ia t e differ en ces a n d a gr ee t o disa gr ee;
51) St r ive for u n der st a n din g;
52) Spea k in a low ca lm voice;
53) Avoid n ega t ive people a n d n ega t ive sit u a t ion s.
54) On t h is da y, be t h e fir st t o sa y h ello. Give t h e gr eet in g “Nya Akom a ” a n d expla in t o
ot h er s wh a t t h is m ea n s. Tr ea t ot h er s like you wa n t t o be t r ea t ed.
55) Ret u r n t h in gs t h a t you h a ve bor r owed or pa y ba ck wh a t ever lon g - st a n din g debt s
you ‟ve in cu r r ed.
56) Wr it e “Th a n k You ” n ot es or bu y flower s for you r self.
57) St op bla m in g ot h er s a n d t a ke r espon sibilit y for you r a ct ion s.
58) In spect you r own a t t it u des of self-h a t r ed a n d a bu sive beh a vior a n d wr it e a goa l list
on t h in gs t o ch a n ge.
59) Lo v e In Ac tio n F o r Th e F a m ily
60) Do a ll of t h e a for em en t ion ed a n d in clu de you r fa m ily m em ber s in a n y a n d a ll of
57
t h ese a ct ivit ies, especia lly pr a yer t oget h er .
61) Rem em ber , t h a t you ca n ‟t love ot h er s u n less you love you r self fir st , wh ich t a kes you
ba ck t o lovin g t h e Cr ea t or a bove a ll a s you a r e in t h e im a ge of t h e Most H igh . Affir m
love in it s pu r est fr om t h e m ost h igh est sou r ce; t h en love will r a dia t e t h r ou gh ou t ,
a ffect in g a ll of ou r r ela t ion sh ips.
62) Ta ke a love ba t h wit h you r m a t e. Bu r n in cen se (n on -t oxic J a sm in e). Soa k for 30
m in u t es in 2-4 pou n ds of E psom Sa lt , ¼ cu p gin ger , 2 t a blespoon s cin n a m on a n d 1
t a blespoon n u t m eg, a n d n a t u r a l bu bble ba t h (obt a in fr om h ea lt h food st or es) a n d r ose
pet a ls. Om it sa lt if you h a ve h igh blood pr essu r e.
63) H a ve a fa m ily m eet in g t o wor k ou t fa m ily ch a llen ges t o pla n t h e week‟s a ct ivit ies, a n d
t o bon d closer t h r ou gh com m u n ica t ion a n d r ela t in g.
64) Tou ch ea ch fa m ily m em ber on a deeper level. H a ve a gr ou p m a ssa ge session wit h
ea ch m em ber m a ssa gin g a n ot h er m em ber .
65) Tu r n off t h e t elevision a n d ju st r ela t e a ll da y. Recogn ize h ow m u ch m or e get s don e
wit h ou t t h e t elevision h ypn ot izin g you t o set st ill befor e it .
66) If you a n d you r ch ildr en decide t o wa t ch a t elevision sh ow or t wo h a ve a discu ssion
a bou t t h e sh ows you select . Mon it or violen t sh ows on t h e t elevision a n d t u r n t h em
off. Th is in clu des videot a pe m ovies.
67) Rea d t o you r ch ildr en or t a ke t h em t o a m u seu m t o r ecogn ize t h e a ccom plish m en t s of
Bla ck An cest or s wh o st r u ggled, fou gh t , died a n d per sever ed a ga in st t h e odds.
68) Ta ke a pla y-h ookie da y sin ce F eb. 13 is a wh olyda y a n d a llow you r ch ildr en t o pla n
t h e da y‟s a ct ivit ies, cook br ea kfa st , et c. Ask t h em wh a t t h ey t h in k a Bla ck love da y
sh ou ld con sist of.
69) Do a fa m ily pr oject t h a t is ju st for pu r e lovin g plea su r e of you r h om e or en vir on m en t .
Clea n -u p t oget h er , pa in t , pla n t som e flower s or a ga r den . J u st feel good, bein g
t oget h er .
70) Dr a w a fa m ily por t r a it of a ll of t h e m em ber s in t h e fa m ily a n d pla ce specia l love a n d
gr a t it u de sen t im en t s u n der ea ch ..
71) Add in a lit t le fu n a n d r om a n ce by fixin g a n ext r a -specia l m ea l a n d in clu de
ca n dleligh t , even if it ‟s a fa m ily m ea l.
72) Sen d for given ess let t er s or st a t em en t s t o a n y fa m ily m em ber t h a t wa r r a n t s on e. Let
old fa m ily r esen t m en t s a n d u n r esolved “st u ff” be bu r ied for good t h is da y. Ta lk t o
ch ildr en a bou t doin g t h e sa m e. You ‟ll be su r pr ised a t t h e r even gefu l idea s ch ildr en
h a ve.
73) St a r t pla n s for a fa m ily in vest m en t clu b, sa vin gs a ccou n t or fa m ily
r e-u n ion .
74) Love you r self a n d you r fa m ily, by t a kin g a cr it ica l eva lu a t ion , if t h e fa m ily h a s fa llen
in t o dysfu n ct ion a n d m a ke t h a t lon g pr ocr a st in a t ed ca ll t o set u p a ppoin t m en t s wit h
t h er a pist s, cou n selor s or doct or s.
75) Lo v e In Ac tio n F o r B la c k Co m m u n itie s
76) P r a y in t h e m or n in g for you r com m u n it y.
77) Th in k a bou t wh a t wou ld m a ke you r com m u n it y bet t er . Wr it e down goa ls or wa ys you
ca n m a ke it bet t er . Dr ea m of big a n d lit t le st eps t h a t cou ld m a ke a differ en ce. P u t
you r “wish list ” wh er e you ca n see it oft en . Visu a lize t h e goa ls com p let ed.
78) Go ou t in t o you r n eigh bor h ood a n d visit som e wh er e you ‟ve n ever been .
58
79) Sm ile t o con n ect wit h ever yon e you m eet a s you m ove a r ou n d t h is da y. Spea k t o
ever y on e. Sa y som et h in g n ice or en cou r a gin g.
80) Clea n u p you r ya r d or som eon e else‟s wh o n eeds it .
81) Or ga n ize a com m u n it y block clea n -u p ca m pa ign .
82) Wa lk wit h a n eigh bor h ood cr im e or dr u g pa t r ol for a da y. See wh a t you ca n
con t r ibu t e.
83) H old a n open com m u n it y for u m for t h e pu blic t o com e t oget h er t o discu ss r ela t ion sh ip
bu ildin g, r a ce r ela t ion s, cu lt u r a l diver sit y, violen ce pr even t ion , et c.
84) At t en d a com m u n it y ser vice m eet in g on t h is da y or on ever y da y of t h e week people
a r e m eet in g, t o discu ss civic con cer n s, or n eigh bor h ood issu es. Ch eck t h e loca l
n ewspa per s or libr a r ies t o fin d wh en t h e u pcom in g will be h e ld. Ma r k you r ca len da r
a n d pledge t o you r self t o go t o t h e n ext on e.
85) Or ga n ize a feedin g for t h e h om eless or t h e elder ly. Th is ca n be a s big a s t a kin g
sa n dwich es a n d sou p t o a n y n eigh bor h ood pa r k or in n er cit y libr a r y, or r igh t in a
sm a ll a pa r t m en t com plex. E n joy t h e good feelin g fr om sh a r in g a m ea l.
86) Rela x in you r n eigh bor h ood pa r k or pla ygr ou n d. Ta lk t o t h e people you m eet t h er e.
87) Ca ll a cit y cou n cil-m em ber or civic lea der a n d voice con cer n s a bou t you r com m u n it y.
Offer su ggest ion s, n ot ju st com pla in t s .
88) Wor k t o st op violen ce or r a cism - t o in cr ea se t h e pea ce.
89) Go ou t t o t h e cor n er s wh er e you t h con gr ega t e in you r n eigh bor h ood.
P u t a side fea r a n d t a lk t o t h e you t h . E xpr ess you r views a n d con cer n s a bou t ga n gs or
you t h violen ce. Sh ow you r gen u in e con cer n a n d in t er est s. You ‟ll be su r pr ised a t wh a t
you ‟ll lea r n by list en in g a n d ca r in g.
90) Or ga n ize a n eigh bor h ood violen ce pa t r ol or n eigh bor h ood wa t ch . Cr ea t e a sa fet y
pa t r ol gr ou p wh er ever ch ildr en com e a n d go.
91) Reflect on you r a t t it u de a n d beh a vior r ega r din g violen ce. Wh a t wa ys ca n you ch a n ge
for t h e bet t er ? List t h em a n d t a ke on e a t a t im e a n d begin t o ch a n ge.
92) Mon it or t elevision , r a dio or video ga m e pla yin g t h is da y for violen t pr ogr a m s. Tu r n
t h em off a n d r eflect la t er on h ow you felt wit h a da y wit h ou t seein g or h ea r in g
violen ce.
93) Or lea ve t h e t elevision on a violen t /r a cist pr ogr a m a n d wr it e down t h e pr odu cer ‟s
n a m e a n d st u dio. P r epa r e t o r esea r ch t h e a ddr ess or con t a ct in fo a n d wr it e a let t er
a bou t you r views.
94) Ma ke it a poin t t o ca ll in t o a r a dio t a lk sh ow a n d expr ess you r effor t s, sm a ll or la r ge,
t o st op t h e violen ce, t o in cr ea se t h e pea ce a n d r a cism a n d a sks for ot h er ‟s t o ca ll in
solu t ion s.
95) Ask n eigh bor s in t o you r h om e for a r a p session or t o sh a r e a m ea l a n d discu ss
n eigh bor h ood violen ce, r a cia l t en sion s or com m u n it y ch a llen ges. Air ou t views,
com m it t o m eet a ga in .
96) On t h is da y, m a ke a specia l effor t t o pr a ct ice “r a n dom a ct s of kin dn ess” a n d „r igh t
h u m a n r ela t ion s” a t ever y oppor t u n it y: P ick u p t r a sh in you r com m u n it y.
97) Ta ke pa in t a n d cover u p u gly gr a ffit i, or look for wa ys t o m a ke a differ en ce.
98) Lo v e in Ac tio n F o r Th e B la c k Ra c e
99) Sa y a pr a yer in t h e m or n in g for Bla ck people bon din g closer by en din g self-h a t r ed a n d
59
pr a y for a ll people t o ch a n ge h a r m fu l a t t it u des a n d beh a vior s t owa r ds Bla cks.
100)
Affir m wit h gr a t it u de you r love for t h e Bla ck r a ce a n d give gr a t it u de a n d pr a ise
for a ll Bla ck a ch ievem en t s a ga in st t h e odds.
101)
Ligh t a sin gle ca n dle for pea ce, r eu n ifica t ion a n d t h e u plift m en t of a ll Afr ica n
people t h r ou gh ou t t h e Dia spor a .
102)
P u ll you r Kin a r a (7-t ier ca n dle h older ) ou t of h idin g a ft er Kwa n za a a n d ligh t t h e
seven ca n dles r epr esen t in g t h e Ngu zo Sa ba (Seven P r in ciples of Bla ckn ess). Th is is
on e of t h e r it es of t h e Bla ck Love Rela t ion sh ip Cer em on y, wh ich ca n be don e a t h om e,
pr iva t ely, or a t a com m u n it y ga t h er in g. Recom m it t o livin g t h e Seven P r in ciples
da ily.
103)
Ma ke a com m it m en t t o displa y you r Kin a r a yea r r ou n d. P la ce it on you r a lt a r or
a sa cr ed spa ce t o view it a s sym bolic of con t in en t a l Afr ica n s, ou r a n cest or s, a n d
pa r en t h om ela n d. J u st a s J ewish people displa y t h eir Men or a h t o sym bolize t h eir
h om ela n d a n d a n cest r y t o Isr a el, we ca n sh ow ou r pr ide for ou r h om ela n d a n d
a n cest r y by t h e displa y of ou r sa cr ed a r t ifa ct .
104)
Ma ke a poin t t o spen d som e m on ey wit h som eon e in you r r a ce, t o r ecycle Bla ck
dolla r s, for a sh ow of Uja m a a (Cooper a t ive E con om ics) wh ich sh ows love for t h e Bla ck
r a ce.
105)
F ly t h e Ben der a Ya Ta ifa F la g (Th e Na t ion a l Liber a t ion fla g a s developed by t h e
fa t h er of t h e Moder n Bla ck Na t ion a list Movem en t Ma r cu s M. Ga r vey), or dr a pe t h e
color s Red, Bla ck a n d Gr een . Red is t h e Blood sh ed of ou r people; Bla ck is for t h e
color of ou r skin ; a n d Gr een is for t h e color of t h e Mot h er la n d, Afr ica a n d for h ope.
106)
St a r t r ea din g a book on t h e a ch ievem en t s of Afr ica n people sin ce t h e begin n in g of
civiliza t ion a n d feel pr ou d.
107)
Wr it e a let t er of a ppr ecia t ion for t h e collect ive st r u ggle a n d a ch ievem en t s of t h e
Afr ica n a n d Afr ica n Am er ica n a n cest or s wh o pa ved t h e wa y for u s t o be a ble t o
a ch ieve t oda y.
108)
Rea ch ou t t o br ot h er s a n d sist er s fr om som e Afr ica n or Afr ica n Am e r ica n et h n ic
gr ou p ou t side of you r own t o feel t h e com m on bon ds a n d a spir a t ion s, t o r econ n ect a s
com m u n it y.
109)
Ta ke u p a clot h in g, food or m on et a r y dr ive t o a ssist s AIDS vict im s in Afr ica or
flood vict im s in t h e Ca r ibbea n .
110)
H on est ly in spect you r own a t t it u des of Bla ck self-h a t r ed or pr eju diced beliefs
a bou t skin color , h a ir t ext u r e, or you r Bla ck fea t u r es. Wr it e a ffir m a t ion s of love a n d
a ppr ecia t ion for you r bea u t ifu l, Bla ck self, you r cu lt u r e a n d you r fea t u r es.
111)
S u g g e s tio n s fo r D e m o n s tra tin g “Lo v e in Ac tio n ” in Wh ite Co m m u n itie s
112)
F a st t h is da y for r epen t a n ce for t h e wr on gs don e t o Bla cks by Wh it e‟s t oda y, a n d
h ist or ica l wr on gs com m it t ed by a n cest or s.
113)
F a st t h is da y for pea ce for t h ose in t h e Wh it e r a ce wh o con t in u e t h is da y t o h old
on t o r a cia l h a t e, in t oler a n ce, r a cism , bigot r y or a n y evil m a lice t owa r ds Bla cks or
P eople of Color .
114)
Medit a t e or sit in qu iet in t r ospect ion of own r a cia l a t t it u des.
115)
Ma ke a list of you r cor e beliefs a n d feelin gs a bou t a n y r a ce of people ou t side of
t h e Wh it e r a ce. List you r fir st t h ou gh t s or a n y st er eot ypes t h a t com e t o m in d. Ma ke
r epen t a n ce if som e of you r r ea ct ion s wer e disr espect fu l or n a st y.
60
116)
St a r t r ea din g a book or a r t icle on :
117)
cu r r en t r a ce r ela t ion s in USA;
118)
cu r r en t r a ce r ela t ion s a r ou n d t h e globe;
119)
t h e h ist or y of r a ce r ela t ion s in t h e USA, pa r t icu la r ly t h e en sla vem en t per iod;
120)
t h e a ch ievem en t s of Bla cks fr om t h e begin n in g of civiliza t ion t o pr esen t t im es.
Give t h a n ks t o t h em .
121)
H old a n open com m u n it y for u m for t h e pu blic t o com e t oget h er t o dia logu e on
r ela t ion sh ip bu ildin g, r a ce r ela t ion s, or violen ce pr even t ion per pet r a t ed by Wh it es,
122)
Ta ke you r ch ild t o a pla ygr ou n d wh er e Bla ck ch ildr en go a n d wa t ch h ow
n a t u r a lly ch ildr en gen er a lly pla y t oget h er wit h ou t pr eju dice. Ga in a n ot h er
per spect ive by t a lkin g t o a Bla ck ch ild.
123)
Go in t o t h e Bla ck com m u n it y a n d sh ow r est it u t ion of wr on gs don e by Wh it es t o
Bla cks, by volu n t eer in g t o feed t h e h om eless, h elp a t a sh elt er , sou p kit ch en , et c.
124)
Wr it e a let t er of r epen t a n ce t o t h e en t ir e Bla ck r a ce a n d spea k of t h e collect ive
wr on gs a n d a sk for for given ess.
125)
Or ga n ize som e pr oject t o be in it ia t ed wit h a Bla ck gr ou p or or ga n iza t ion , wit h
t h e goa l in m in d of sh a r in g spa ce a n d t im e t o a llevia t e fea r s by exper ien cin g Bla ck
people a s n on -t h r ea t en in g.
126)
H a ve a lu n ch for u m wh er e Wh it es on ly a t t en d t o t a lk a bou t t h eir own n eed t o
a ddr ess r a cia l a t t it u des a n d beh a vior . Begin a self-h elp gr ou p t o con t in u e
127)
Ligh t a ca n dle for pea ce, h a r m on y a n d r econ cilia t ion .
128)
Wa lk a n eigh bor h ood cr im e or dr u g wa t ch wit h a Bla ck per son a n d ga in a n ot h er
per spect ive t h r ou gh dia logu e.
129)
P u r posely, spen d som e m on ey wit h in t h e Bla ck com m u n it y eit h er a t a m er ch a n t ,
ven dor or or der fr om a ca t a logu e.
130)
Ch eck ou t a web sit e on t h e In t er n et pr odu ced by a Bla ck ser ver , i.e.
Bla ckVoice.com
Bla ckfa m ilies.com Ur ba n h a n gsu it e.com www.Mela Net .or g a n d
www.a a h a -in fo.or g a n d exper ien ce a n ot h er poin t of view. Ch eck ou t t h e ch a t r oom s
a n d open u p t h e dia logu e wit h a n a pology, qu est ion s or gen u in e in t er est .
131)
Go t h is da y t o a m ovie t h a t sh ows posit ive Bla ck lifest yles or cu lt u r e or r en t a
video.
132)
Ga in a n u n der st a n din g of som e of t h e h ot issu es Bla cks fa ce, i.e. Repa r a t ion s,
Ra cia l P r ofilin g, E m ploym en t /H ou sin g Discr im in a t ion a n d Gen t r ifica t ion . At t em pt t o
pu t you r self in t h e posit ion of t h e oppr essed t o bet t er u n der st a n d t h ese issu es a n d
look h on est ly a t t h e im pa ct .
133)
Con fr on t a n ot h er Wh it e peer , co-wor ker or fa m ily m em ber wh o‟s displa yin g
beh a vior of r a cism /Wh it e Su pr em a cy, Wh it e pr ivilege or en t it lem en t . Com e ou t of
you r com for t zon e a n d pr ot est r a cist in st it u t ion s, gr ou ps or in dividu a ls
61
D EMON S TRATIN G LOVE IN ACTION AF TER B LD –F EB 13
It ‟s been a t est a m en t t o t h e t im es we live in , t h a t som e people a ct u a lly a r e t r ou bled
t o t h in k of specia l wa ys t o sh ow love. Th ese su ggest ion s wer e t h ou gh t of t o give people
idea s on wa ys t h ey ca n dem on st r a t e love for t h e specia l wh olyda y r it u a l of obser vin g t h e
5 (t en et s) a ct s of Bla ck love on F eb. 13. Th r ou gh t h e dem on st r a t ion of love on t h is da y -r ea lly m a kin g a n effor t t o a llow love a n d good feelin gs t o flow, ca n be a ca r t h a r t in g
exper ien ce t h a t ca n t r a n sfor m people spir it u a lly. P eople ca n feel so good in t h is da y, t h a t
t h ey will wa n t t o con t in u e t o h a ve t h is “feel goodn ess” lon g a ft er t h is da y. I‟ve h ea r d
people t ell m e t h a t t h ey h a ve h a d spir it u a lly t r a n sfor m in g exper ien ces wh ile som e ot h er s
wer e m ot iva t ed t o m a ke a lon g-desir ed ch a n ge. If u sed yea r -lon g, t h ese su ggest ion s ca n
h ea l feelin gs, en cou r a ge in t er per son a l or r ela t ion sh ip gr owt h , a n d fost er in t r a a n d
in t er r a cia l diver sit y.
62
Atonement Blessings
From Inner Visions
We give pr a ise a n d h on or t o Min ist er Lou is F a r r a ka h n for h eedin g t h e ca ll of t h e
Cr ea t or t o con ven e t h e Million Ma n Ma r ch , Oct ober 16, 1995. In su ppor t of h is vision ,
we pr om ot e a n d en cou r a ge you t o pr om ot e t h e At on em en t P r in ciples a n d P r ocess. We
offer you t h is r econ st r u ct ion of t h e wor ds spoken a n d a sk t h a t you sh a r e t h em wit h
ot h er s a n d in cor por a t e t h em in t o you r da y t o da y livin g. As we believe you m u st a ct on
fa it h t o pu t t h e pr in ciples in t o pr a ct ice.
ATONE ME NT - a m or e per fect u n ion wit h GOD. At -On e-Me a n d At -On e-Men . Men a t
on e wit h t h eir God, t h eir self, a n d n a t ion t owa r d a m or e per fect u n ion for a com m on
pu r pose. At on em en t dem a n ds of u s eigh t st eps:
1. Awa r en ess of Wr on g (s) -we m u st be in a st a t e of r ecogn it ion of t h e wr on g we h a ve
don e.
2. Ackn owledgem en t of Wr on g (s) - we m u st be in a st a t e of r ecogn it ion of t h e wr on g we
h a ve don e.
3. Con fession of t h e wr on g (s) t o God a n d t h e pa r t y in volved.
4. Repen t a n ce - we m u st feel t h e r em or se a n d r e-t h in k wh a t we h a ve don e.
5. Ta ke Act ion - t h er e m u st be a m en ds m a de, pen a n ce or com pen sa t ion pa id t o r igh t t h e
wr on g.
6. F or given ess - we m u st seek a n d give pa r don t o exon er a t e t h e effect s of ou r wr on g
doin gs.
7. Recon cilia t ion - we m u st r est or e ou r selves t o t h e or igin a l pos it ion .
8. P er fect Un ion - ou r sou l is a t r est , we n o lon ger h a ve gu ilt or sh a m e.
63
We must Love Black People …We must Love
Black People… We must Love Black People….
We Must Love
The Last Poets
64
PART 2
AN ANTHOLOGY
ON
LOVE*
** ANTHOLOGY SUBMISSIONS ARE NOW BEING ACCEPTED **
The concept of a “dynamic anthology”, co-created by
Rafiki Cai, means you can submit your Black love poetry,
short essays, inspirational quotes, healing rituals, and
greetings to be published in “The Black Love Book”.
Submitters whose works are chosen receive a wholesale
discount on “The Black Love Book” edition when published,
thus they can resell the book at a suggested retail price
and keep the profit-margin.
This collective process of gathering new work for an everchanging book and each published writer having some
ownership in the distribution of his work, makes “The Black
Love Book” a most unique anthology and how-to book.
Contact the publisher regarding submission guidelines.
(See inside front page for contact information)
65
The History of Valentine's Day
by Ayo Handy Kendi
Th e h ist or y of Va len t in e‟s Da y is sim ila r t o ot h er h olida ys of E u r opea n or igin t h a t
a r e celebr a t ed t oda y – st eeped in u n docu m en t ed con flict in g legen ds. Wh a t is
a ppa r en t , is t h a t t h e h ist or y of Va len t in e‟s Da y r om a n t ic a ssocia t ion did n ot st a r t ou t
in su ch a r om a n t ic fa sh ion .
We a r e a societ y in fa t u a t ed wit h r om a n ce a n d sex. E ven t ea ch er s en cou r a ge
you n g ch ildr en , wa y t oo lit t le a n d in n ocen t , t o be even t h in kin g of r om a n ce, t o
exch a n ge “Va len t in e ca r ds”. Yet I wou ld ven t u r e t o st a t e t h a t m ost people, even
t ea ch er s, don ‟t h a ve t h e sligh t est idea a bou t t h e or igin of t h is h olida y n or wh y
m oder n -da y cu r r icu lu m s st ill m a n da t e t h e t ea ch in g of su ch cu st om a r y pr a ct ices a s
t h e exch a n gin g of Va len t in e‟s.” Yet , yea r ly t on s of m on ey is spen t , by you n g a n d old
a like, on t h e exch a n ge of r ed-color ed, h ea r t -sh a ped boxes filled wit h fa t t en in g
ch ocola t e ca n dies, expen sive r oses a n d ot h er flower bou qu et s, a n d gr eet in g ca r ds of
love m essa ges t h a t a sk on e “To Be My Va len t in e”.
Accor din g t o m y
sever a l in du st r ies,
Com m er cia liza t ion of
h igh est r et a il r even u e
r esea r ch , Va len t in e‟s Da y is qu it e a com m er cia l su ccess for
pa r t icu la r ly t h e ca r d, ca n dy a n d flower in du st r y.
t h is h olida y n ow h a s Va len t in e‟s Da y r a n ked a s t h e t h ir d gen er a t in g h olida y beh in d Ch r ist m a s a n d Mot h er ‟s Da y.
Isn ‟t it t im e t h a t we looked a t wh y we celebr a t e St . Va len t in e‟s Da y? E specia lly
isn ‟t it t im e t h a t people of Afr ica n descen t -- Bla ck people-- look a t t h is h olida y, ju st
like we a r e begin n in g t o look a t ot h er h olida ys t o see h ow t h ey ben efit u s, spir it u a lly,
m or a lly, polit ica lly a n d econ om ica lly t o em power u s?
A B rie f His to ry o f Va le n tin e ’s D a y
Th e h ist or y of Va len t in e‟s Da y r om a n t ic a ssocia t ion st a r t ed ou t in a ver y
u n r om a n t ic fa sh ion . In t h e h ist or ies of ea r ly Ch r ist ia n m a r t yr s, t h er e is m en t ion of a t
lea st t wo sa in t s n a m ed Va len t in e a n d som e a ssocia t ion wit h F ebr u a r y 14t h .
H owever , t h e t r u e iden t it y of Va len t in e is u n cer t a in . Som e h ist or ia n s believe t h a t h e
wa s a Rom a n pr iest wh o wa s ja iled a n d execu t ed in t h e 3r d cen t u r y for opposin g t h e
per secu t ion of Ch r ist ia n s. Ot h er h ist or ia n s sa y h e wa s t h e Bish op of Ter n i, a sm a ll
villa ge ou t of Rom e a n d wa s beh ea ded in 273 A.D. for con ver t in g a fa m ily t o Ch r ist ia n it y.
Bot h m en , h a vin g su ffer ed m a r t yr dom (dea t h ), wer e bu r ied in t h e F la m in ion Wa y. La t er
An cien t Rom a n s r en a m ed t h e F la m in ion Ga t e t o t h e Ga t e of St . Va len t in e a ft er t h e
n a m e of a n eigh bor in g ch u r ch , dedica t ed t o t h e n a m e of Va len t in e. Th is ga t e is n ow
kn own a s t h e P or t a del P opolo, or Ga t e of t h e P eople.
Lit t le else is kn own of eit h er of t h ese oft en -m en t ion ed Va len t in es. H owever , it is
docu m en t ed t h a t som e 7 or 8 per son s bea r cla im t o t h e a ct u a l iden t it y of St . Va len t in e.
Accor din g t o t h e Act a Sa n ct or u m , t h er e wer e a ct u a lly eigh t m en , wh o lived in differ en t
pa r t s of t h e wor ld, in clu din g Spa in , Afr ica , Belgiu m , a n d F r a n ce, wh o bea r t h e n a m e of
St . Va len t in e, a n d wer e beh ea ded or pu t t o dea t h for u n docu m en t ed r ea son s. Som e
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st or ies of t h e exploit s of Va len t in e st a t e t h a t h e wa s a r ever ed pr iest du r in g t h e r eign of
E m per or Cla u diu s. Cla u diu s wa s descr ibed a s a cr u el, a n gr y m on a r ch , wh o t r ied t o
r ecr u it soldier s for h is wa r s wit h gr ea t r esist a n ce. Th e m on a r ch decla r ed t h a t n o
m a r r ia ges wou ld be per for m ed a n d t h a t a ll en ga gem en t s wer e ca n celed. Beca u se t h is
wa s u n fa ir t o you n g lover s, Va len t in e secr et ly join ed sever a l cou ples. Repor t edly,
Cla u diu s h a d Va len t in e im pr ison ed, wh er e h e died.
An ot h er st or y of Va len t in e det a ils t h a t h e cu r ed a ja iler ‟s da u gh t er of blin dn ess, wh ile
in ja il, wh ich m a de Cla u diu s a n gr y t o t h e poin t of h a vin g Va len t in e bea t en a n d beh ea ded
wit h t h is dea t h occu r r in g on F ebr u a r y 14, 269 A.D. Th u s, in 496 A.D., P ope Gela siu s set
a side F ebr u a r y 14 a s t h e da y t o h on or h im .
An ot h er legen d descr ibes Va len t in e‟s in t er est of t h e ja iler ‟s da u gh t er , wh om h e fell in
love wit h , wr it in g h er let t er s sign ed “F r om You r Va len t in e”.
Th e t h eor ies a s t o h ow t h e n a m e of St . Va len t in e ca m e t o be con n ect ed wit h t h e da y
for lover s, is a lso va r ied a n d fu ll of u n docu m en t ed t r a dit ion s a n d legen ds. On e belief is
ba sed fr om r u r a l E u r ope du r in g t h e Middle Ages. It wa s bel ieved t h a t t h e bir ds bega n t o
m a t e on F ebr u a r y 14t h . An ot h er su ggest ion is t h a t t h e Nor m a n wor d, galan tin m ea n s a
lover of wom en . It is believed t h a t t h e "g" of ga la n t in wa s con fu sed wit h t h e "v" for
Va len t in e.
An ot h er t h eor y is t h e a ssocia t ion of t h e sa in t wit h a pa ga n fea st in Rom e ca lled t h e
F ea st of Lu per ca lia h eld on F ebu r a r y 15 t h , a n d t h e pr a ct ice t h a t occu r r ed on t h e 14 t h , t h e
da y befor e t h e fea st . Som e sou r ces sa y t h a t t h is fea st goes ba ck t o t h e t h ir d cen t u r y, a n d
ot h er sou r ces st a t e t h a t t h e fea st occu r r ed cen t u r ies befor e t h e bir t h of J esu s.
Accor din gly, h or des of h u n gr y wolves ou t side of Rom e, wer e kept in ch eck by Lu per cu s,
t h e “H u n t er of Wolves”, a n d t h e pr ot ect or of sh eph er ds a n d t h eir flocks. In F ebr u a r y, t h e
Rom a n s celebr a t ed a fea st in h on or of Lu per cu s, a n d ca lled it t h e F ea st of Lu per ca lia .
Th e fest iva l wa s obser ved lon g a ft er t h e da n ger of t h e wolves su bsided. Th is fest ivit y
a llowed you n g wom en t o pu t t h eir n a m e in a box fr om wh ich a you n g m a n wou ld dr a w
h er n a m e. Th en t h e you n g m a n wou ld becom e h er ga lla n t or h er lover for t h e fest iva l
a n d for t h e n ext yea r wh ile gift s wer e a lso exch a n ged. Th e ea r ly Ch r ist ia n cler gy
object ed t o t h is a n d la t er r epla ced t h e n a m e of sa in t s in st ea d of t h e n a m es of wom en a n d
r equ ir ed t h a t t h e m a n em u la t e t h e sa in t wh ose n a m e h e dr ew for a yea r .
Sin ce t h e dr a win g occu r r ed on F ebr u a r y 14, t h e da y of t h e sa in t , in it s or igin a l for m
a n d la t er for m , t h e a ssocia t ion wit h St . Va len t in e wa s clea r ly est a blish ed. Th e dr a win g
of n a m es fr om a box on Va len t in e‟s Da y con t in u ed for cen t u r ies. Th e pa ir ed m en a n d
wom en by t h e dr a win g in it ia lly ga ve pr esen t s t o ea ch ot h er , bu t la t er , on ly t h e m a n ga ve
a gift . As Ch r ist ia n it y r epla ced pa ga n ism , m a n y of t h e Va len t in e a ct ivit ies con t in u ed.
In E n gla n d, t h e obser va n ce of Va len t in e‟s Da y da t es fr om t h e 1400‟s . Ma n y cu st om s
gr ew in con n ect ion wit h t h e da y. On e cu st om wa s t h a t t h e fir st per son of t h e opposit e
sex, wh om on e m et on t h e m or n in g of Va len t in e‟s Da y, wou ld becom e h is or h er t r u e love.
An ot h er cu st om gr ew a r ou n d t h e belief t h a t dr ea m s, wh ich wou ld r evea l t h e iden t it y of
a lover , cou ld be in du ced by sleepin g on a pillow wit h five ba y lea ves pin n ed t o it .
67
Th e ea r ly Va len t in e gift s wer e sim ple. Men oft en ga ve t h eir sweet h ea r t s flower
th
bou qu et s, a n d la t er , la cy va len t in es a n d h ea r t -sh a ped ca n dies. Th e da t e of F ebr u a r y 14
wa s a lso a da y for socia l ga t h er in gs a n d ela bor a t e ba lls in h on or of St . Va len t in e.
By t h e 17t h cen t u r y, som e people wou ld cr ea t e t h eir own or igin a l m essa ges or wou ld
copy m essa ges or poem s fr om booklet s, for t h eir Va len t in es. Th en , t h e fir st com m er cia l
va len t in es a ppea r ed a r ou n d 1800, a s a sim ple design , wh ich by t h e 1830‟s beca m e qu it e
a r t sy.
Of cou r se, t h e celebr a t ion ca m e t o Am er ica wit h t h e E n glish set t ler s. By t h e t im e of
t h e Civil Wa r , in t h e Un it ed St a t es, Va len t in e‟s Da y wa s r a n ked n ext t o Ch r ist m a s in
h olida y im por t a n ce. Va len t in es of t h is ea r ly er a a r e n ow collect or ‟s it em s, wit h t h eir
delica t e t r im s, la ce wor k, h a n d pa in t ed im a ges, a n d t en der sen t im en t s.
By t h e ch a n ge of t h e cen t u r y, Va len t in e‟s a lso ch a n ged in sen t im en t a lit y a n d
a ppea r a n ce. Spa ce a ge m essa ges t h a t a r e sym bolic of ou r m oder n t im es, a r e t h e n or m .
Yet t h is h olida y for lover s con t in u es, despit e a n ot h er big sh ift in m oder n t im es – t h e
defin it ion of a lover a n d t h e con t ext of r om a n ce. In t h e clim a t e of ext en ded fa m ilies,
m u lt iple divor ces a n d r e-m a r r ia ges; h om osexu a lit y a n d bisexu a lit y; sin gle -h ea ded
h ou seh olds; a n d cou ple dysfu n ct ion (for Bla ck a n d Wh it es) ca u sed in pa r t by t h e syst em
of wh it e su pr em a cy, Va len t in e r om a n ce h a s t a ken on m a n y differ en t in t er pr et a t ion s.
New t r a dit ion s a r e developin g a r ou n d t h e t im e of Va len t in e‟s Da y, per h a ps in
r espon se t o t h ese n ew in t er pr et a t ion s, a n d a belief by m a n y t h a t love in Am er ica m u st be
celebr a t ed m or e wh olist ica lly. Aga pe Da y (F eb. 14) is n ow pr a ct iced by som e Ch r ist ia n s;
Ra n dom Act s of Kin dn ess Week (F eb 11 t h -18 t h ) wa s en cou r a ged a t Un ifica t ion Ch u r ch es;
a n d Bla ck Love Da y (F eb. 13) h a s been in it ia t ed, n a t ion a lly by t h e n on -pr ofit
or ga n iza t ion , Th e Afr ica n Am er ica n H olida y Associa t ion . Akom a Da y is t h e n ewest
h olida y developm en t spon sor ed by t h e Akom a In it ia t ive.
E ven t h ou gh t h e Va len t in e h olida y h a s lost som e of it s r om a n ce, ou r qu est t o h a ve
love st ill h a s t oo m a n y of u s n ot a ble t o see t h e r ea lit y of r ela t ion s h ips in t h e 90s. Too
m a n y will do a n yt h in g t o per pet u a t e r om a n ce in a m a t er ia l, com m er cia l wa y. Yet we
n eed t o look in side a n d a bove, n ot ju st for r om a n ce, bu t for r ea l love, wh ich on ly com es
fr om a h igh er , spir it u a l sou r ce – n ot ju st on F ebr u a r y 14, bu t ever yda y.
So, wh en we t a ke a closer look a t Va len t in e‟s Da y, like m ost t r a dit ion a l h olida ys, it
a ppea r s t h a t t h e on ly r ea l ben efa ct or s of t h is celebr a t ion a r e r et a iler s a n d
m a n u fa ct u r er s. Cor por a t e Am er ica a n d Ma dison Aven u e h a s a st r on g h old on t h e pocket s
of con su m er s u n der t h e gu ise of em ot ion a l bon din g t o loved on es a n d u n qu est ion ed
loya lt y t o ever yda y pr a ct ices a n d cu st om s. Wh ile sh a r in g love wit h on e a n ot h er is t r u ly
a blessin g, t h e econ om ic a n d em ot ion a l st r a in s pla ced on in dividu a ls u n der fr a u d u len t
va lu es h a s m a de t h e Va len t in e‟s h olida y, a qu est ion a ble a ffa ir , ju st like t h e com m er cia lly
su ccessfu l Ch r ist m a s h olida y.
P er h a ps, if we cou ld spen d a lot m or e t im e givin g of ou r selves t h a n ju st givin g a gift
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t o sh ow ou r love, t h a n we will love ou r selves m or e wh ich will h elp u s be bet t er a ble t o
t a ke ca r e of ou r selves m or e, wh ich will lea d t o u s bet t er t a kin g ca r e of ou r fa m ilies a n d
ou r com m u n it ies. Wh en we exper ien ce a ll t h ese levels of love, t h a n we w ill be ou r ow n
Va len t in e!.
In t h e Spir it of t h e Akom a
Ayo H a n dy-Ken di
The Akoma, not a Valentine!
The Akoma (The Heart) is the symbol of Black Love Day.
The “Akoma” (pronounced ah coma) is the ancient Adinkra symbol of
love, patience, goodwill, faithfulness, devotion and endearing
The greeting for Black Love Day is “Nya Akoma” (N-yah ah-coma)
which means get a heart! Be Patient”
-- Ayo Handy Kendi, founder, Black Love Day
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The Infamous “Willie Lynch Letter”
This speech was delivered by a slave owner, William Lynch in 1712 but the message is
still true today… When I heard about, then read this letter, it gave me a better
understanding as to how Black people were taught to hate themselves. Now, its’ time to
use love as the “key” to change the script, to reclaim our unity, rebuild our families and
our communities. Now its’ time to return to love, to love ourselves, take care of
ourselves and change our own conditions. – Ayo Handy Kendi
Gen t lem en , I gr eet you h er e on t h e ba n k of t h e J a m es River in t h e yea r of ou r Lor d
on e t h ou sa n d seven h u n dr ed a n d t welve. F ir st , I sh a ll t h a n k you , t h e gen t lem en of t h e
Colon y of Vir gin ia , for br in gin g m e h er e. I a m h er e t o h elp you solve som e of you r
pr oblem s wit h sla ves. You r in vit a t ion r ea ch ed m e on m y m odest pla n t a t ion in t h e West
In dies, wh er e I h a ve exper im en t ed wit h som e of t h e n ewest a n d st ill t h e oldest m et h ods
for con t r ol of sla ves. An cien t Rom e wou ld en vy u s if m y pr ogr a m is im plem en t ed. As ou r
boa t sa iled sou t h on t h e J a m es River , n a m ed for ou r illu st r iou s Kin g, wh ose ver sion of
t h e Bible we ch er ish , I sa w en ou gh t o kn ow t h a t you r pr oblem is n ot u n iqu e. Wh ile
Rom e u sed cor ds of wood a s cr osses for st a n din g h u m a n bodies a lon g it s h igh wa ys in
gr ea t n u m ber s, you a r e h er e u sin g t h e t r ee a n d r ope on occa sion .
I ca u gh t t h e wh iff of a dea d sla ve h a n gin g fr om a t r ee a cou ple m iles ba ck. You a r e
n ot on ly losin g va lu a ble st ock by h a n gin gs, you a r e h a vin g u pr isin gs, sla ves a r e r u n n in g
a wa y, you r cr ops a r e som et im es left in t h e fields t oo lon g for m a xim u m pr ofit , you su ffer
occa sion a l fir es, you r a n im a ls a r e killed. Gen t lem en , you kn ow wh a t you r pr oblem s a r e;
I do n ot n eed t o ela bor a t e. I a m n ot h er e t o en u m er a t e you r pr oblem s, I a m h er e t o
in t r odu ce you t o a m et h od of solvin g t h em . In m y ba g h er e, I h a ve a fu ll pr oof m et h od for
con t r ollin g you r bla ck sla ves. I gu a r a n t ee ever y on e of you t h a t if in st a lled cor r ect ly it
will con t r ol t h e sla ves for a t lea st 300 h u n dr ed yea r s. My m et h od is sim ple. An y
m em ber of you r fa m ily or you r over seer ca n u se it .
I h a ve ou t lin ed a n u m ber of differ en ces a m on g t h e sla ves; a n d I t a ke t h ese
differ en ces a n d m a ke t h em bigger ; I u se fea r , dist r u st a n d en vy for con t r ol pu r poses.
Th ese m et h ods h a ve wor ked on m y m odest pla n t a t ion in t h e West In dies a n d it will wor k
t h r ou gh ou t t h e Sou t h . Ta ke t h is sim ple lit t le list of differ en ces, a n d t h in k a bou t t h em .
On t op of m y list is “AGE ”, bu t it is t h er e on ly beca u se it st a r t s wit h a n “A”. Th e secon d
is “COLOR” or sh a de, t h er e is in t elligen ce, size, sex, size of pla n t a t i on s, st a t u s of
pla n t a t ion s, a t t it u de of own er s, wh et h er t h e sla ves live in t h e va lley, on a h ill, E a st ,
West , Nor t h , Sou t h , h a ve fin e h a ir , cou r se h a ir , or is t a ll or sh or t . Now t h a t you h a ve a
list of differ en ces, I sh a ll give you a n ou t lin e of a ct ion , b u t befor e t h a t , I sh a ll a ssu r e you
t h a t dist r u st is st r on ger t h a n t r u st , a n d en vy is st r on ger t h a n a du la t ion , r espect or
a dm ir a t ion .
Th e Bla ck sla ve a ft er r eceivin g t h is in doct r in a t ion sh a ll ca r r y on a n d will becom e self
r efu elin g a n d self-gen er a t in g for h u n dr eds of yea r s, m a ybe t h ou sa n ds. Don ‟t for get you
m u st pit ch t h e old Bla ck m a le vs. t h e you n g Bla ck m a le, a n d t h e you n g Bla ck m a le
a ga in st t h e old Bla ck m a le. You m u st u se t h e da r k skin sla ves vs. t h e ligh t skin sla ves,
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a n d t h e ligh t skin sla ves vs. t h e da r k skin sla ves. You m u st u se t h e fem a le vs. t h e m a le,
a n d t h e m a le vs. fem a le. You m u st a lso h a ve you r Wh it e ser va n t s a n d over seer s dist r u st
a ll Bla cks, bu t it is n ecessa r y t h a t you r sla ves t r u st a n d depen d on u s. Th ey m u st love,
r espect , a n d t r u st on ly u s. Gen t lem en , t h ese kit s a r e you r keys t o con t r ol. Use t h em .
H a ve you r wives a n d ch ildr en u se t h em , n ever m iss a n oppor t u n it y. If u sed in t en sely for
on e yea r , t h e sla ves t h em selves will r em a in per pet u a lly dist r u st fu l.
Th a n k you gen t lem en ,
Willie Lyn ch

“Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself”
Romans 13:9

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The Truth of the Past Will Set Us Free
By Dr. Manning Marable
F or gen er a t ion s, wh it e h ist or y books h a ve r ela t ed t h e t a le a bou t t h e su pposedly
h u m ble son of a Gen oese wea ver . Th e It a lia n sea ca pt a in wa s con vin ced t h a t t h e wor ld
wa s r ou n d, a n d per su a ded Qu een Isa bella of Spa in t o fin a n ce a n expedit ion t o t h e west .
Aft er a difficu lt a n d da n ger ou s jou r n ey, t h e br a ve n a viga t or a n d h is in t r epid cr ew la n ded
on t h e isla n d of Sa n Sa lva dor on Oct ober 12, 1492. Beca u se h e believed t h a t h e wa s on ly
m iles fr om t h e Asia n m a in la n d, Colu m bu s ca lled t h e gen t le people wh o m et h im a lon g
t h e sh or e “In dia n s”. Th u s, we a r e t old, wh it e west er n civiliza t ion fin a lly a r r ived t o wh a t
wou ld becom e Am er ica .
Th e h ist or ica l r ea lit y is t h a t n eit h er Colu m bu s n or a n y ot h er wh it e E u r opea n wa s
t h e fir st t o con t a ct t h e in digen ou s people of Am er ica . Sch ola r Iva n Va n Ser t im a , in
“Th ey Ca m e Befor e Colu m bu s”, docu m en t s t h a t Afr ica n s h a d a ccom plish ed t h is voya ge
by 700 B.C., t r a velin g t o t h e sou t h er n coa st of Mexico. In flu en ces of Afr ica ca n be seen in
a gr icu lt u r a l t ech n ologies, m ou n d-bu ildin g, a n d even in t h e st r u ct u r e of som e Na t ive
Am er ica n la n gu a ges.
Th e m yt h of Colu m bu s‟s “discover y” is a lso ba sed on t h e er r on eou s idea t h a t fift een t h
cen t u r y E u r opea n s believed t h a t t h e wor ld wa s fla t . Bu t t h e h ist or ica l fa ct is t h a t n ea r ly
a ll lea r n ed E u r opea n s of t h e 1400‟s kn ew t h a t t h e wor ld wa s in deed r ou n d, a n d t h a t
u n ch a r t ed la n ds wer e loca t ed in t h e wes t . Colu m bu s‟s ch ief pilot a n d bu sin ess pa r t n er ,
Ma r t in Olon zo P in zon , h a d fou n d docu m en t s in t h e libr a r y of P ope In n ocen t VIII, wh ich
con fir m ed t er r it or ies west of t h e At la n t ic Ocea n .
Wh a t m ot iva t ed Colu m bu s a n d t h e Spa n ish con qu ist a dor s wa s t h e lu r e of gold a n d
t h e possibilit y of exploit in g t h e people a n d r esou r ces of t h ese n ew la n ds. Wit h in sever a l
deca des, t h e Spa n ish in it ia t ed a ser ies of r epr essive la ws wh ich in effect en sla ved
m illion s of Na t ive Am er ica n s in a syst em of for ced la bor . “Civiliza t ion ” m ea n t t h e
dest r u ct ion of in digen ou s cu lt u r es a n d societ ies. Wh en t h e In dia n s r esist ed, t h e
E u r opea n s sh owed n o m er cy, ch iefs wer e bu r n ed a live; t h e a r m s a n d legs of ca pt u r ed
wa r r ior s wer e cu t off; In dia n wom en by t h e t h ou sa n ds wer e r a ped a n d lyn ch e d. In on e
cen t u r y, Mexico‟s t ot a l popu la t ion of 25 m illion declin ed t o on e m illion .
Th e exploit a t ion of t h e Am er ica s r equ ir ed a la r ge la bor for ce, so E u r ope t u r n ed t o
Afr ica . As ea r ly a s t h e 1460‟s, a bou t on e t h ou sa n d Afr ica n s wer e im por t ed a n n u a lly in t o
t h e Iber ia n P en in su la a s sla ves. Th e Ca t h olic Ch u r ch wa s pr epa r ed t o sa n ct ion t h e
expa n sion of t h e sla ve t r a de t o t h e Am er ica s. In 1498, P ope In n ocen t VIII a ccept ed on e
h u n dr ed Moor s a s h is own per son a l sla ves a s a gift fr om t h e Spa n ish Kin g F er din a n d. In
1517, Bish op Ba r t h olom e de La s Ca sa s u r ged t h e im por t a t ion of t welve Afr ica n sla ves for
ever y wh it e Spa n ish set t ler . Over t h e n ext t h r ee cen t u r ies, bet ween 10 t o 15 m illion
Afr ica n s wer e in volu n t a r ily sh ipped t o t h e New Wor ld. Th is figu r e does n ot i n clu de t h e
m illion s wh o per ish ed in t h e t r a n s -At la n t ic cr ossin g, t h e n ot or iou s “Middle P a ssa ge”, in
wh ich t h eir bodies wer e h u r led over boa r d. Nor does it a ccou n t for t h e m illion s of m in ds
wh ich wer e divided, t h e ch ildr en t or n a wa y fr om t h eir pa r en t s, t h e da u gh t er s sexu a lly
m olest ed befor e t h eir m ot h er s a n d fa t h er s.
72
Sla ver y r equ ir ed t h e developm en t of a n ideology of dom in a t ion . It wa s in evit a ble
t h a t Afr ica n s cea sed t o be descr ibed by t h eir la n gu a ges or cu lt u r es, a n d on ly by t h e m ost
su per ficia l dist in ct ion wh ich sepa r a t ed t h em fr om m ost E u r opea n s – t h eir skin color ,
“Bla cks” wer e defin ed by t h e bou n da r ies of t h eir skin . Con ver sely, t h e E u r opea n s bega n
t o ca ll t h em selves “wh it es”, a r a cist t er m r oot ed in power , pr ivilege a n d violen ce.
By r ecogn izin g t h e gen ocide a n d sla ver y wh ich wa s t h e r ea l lega cy of Colu m bu s, we
m igh t begin t o a ppr ecia t e t h e dign it y of Na t ive Am er ica n cu lt u r es, a n d t h e h ist or y of
Afr ica n people. An d by lea r n in g fr om t h e t r u t h of t h e pa st , we m igh t begin t o for ge t h e
ba sis for h on est in t er a ct ion a n d dia logu e a cr oss r a cia l lin es t oda y.
Reprinted by permission from Dr. Manning Marable, a Professor of Political
Science and History, University of Colorado, Boulder. “Along The Color Line”
appears in over 200 publications internationally, and is broadcast over radio
stations throughout the United States.

The Will of God will never take you to where the
Grace of God will not Protect you.

73
HUG THERAPY – TYPE OF HUGS
By Gloria McCollum, D.C. Public Schools
HU GS AR E FR EE. Ma ybe t h a t ‟s wh y so m a n y people t a ke t h em for gr a n t ed. If h u gs
did cost a lot of m on ey, people wou ld pr oba bly kn ock t h em selves ou t t o m a ke m on ey t o
bu y h u gs. E ven t h ou gh h u gs a r e fr ee, h u gs a r en ‟t wor t h a n yt h in g if t h ey a r en ‟t u sed.
An d a h u g n ot u sed is lost for ever . On a n a ffect ion -st a r ved pla n et , ca n we r ea lly a ffor d t o
wa st e h u gs?
S CIEN T IFIC R ES EAR CH HAS S HO WN :
E ver y h u m a n bein g n eeds:
4 h u gs per da y m er ely t o su r vive
8 h u gs per da y t o m a in t a in on eself a t a pa r t icu la r em ot ion a l level
12 h u gs per da y t o gr ow
A HU G CAN BE IN AN Y FO R M: T O T AL BO D Y CO N T ACT , A K IN D WO R D ,
A T O U CH
LET’S HUG
TH E RE ‟S A H UG TO SAY
I LOVE YOU
AND A H UG TO SAY
H OW ARE YOU?
AND A H UG TO SAY WE TRIE D
TH E RE ‟S A H UG TO BOND
A F RIE NDSH IP
AND A H UG WH E N TH E
DAY IS TH ROUGH
BUT TH E H UG I LOVE IN ALL TH E WORLD
IS TH E H UG I GE T F ROM YOU!
Gloria McCollum, a teacher within the D. C. Public School (DCPS) system presented
the material on hug therapy at the 4th Black Love Relationship Ceremony in 1996,
cosponsored by DCPS Board Representative, Valencia Mohammad. Trying McCallum‟s
hugging techniques felt so good that the group hug was incorporated into the
relationship ceremony ritual, thereafter.
The Hug Therapy/Descriptions material
came as an outgrowth of the Multi-Cultural Educational Branch of DCPS, and we
thank them for permission for its use.
74
HUG THERAPY
TYPES OF HUGS
75
Hug Descriptions
1.
B e a r Hu g : In t h e t r a dit ion a l bea r h u g, on e h u gger u su a lly is t a ller a n d br oa der t h a n
t h e ot h er , bu t t h is is n ot n ecessa r y t o su st a in t h e em ot ion a l qu a lit y of bea r h u ggin g.
Bodies a r e t ou ch in g in a power fu l, st r on g squ eeze t h a t ca n la st five t o t en secon ds or
m or e. Th e feelin g du r in g a bea r h u g is wa r m , su ppor t ive, a n d secu r e.
2.
S a n d w ic h Hu g : Th e sa n dwich h u g is a lesser kn own va r iet y, bu t on ce you
exper ien ce it s wa r m t h a n d secu r it y, you ‟ll wa n t t o sh a r e t h is on e oft en . Th is is a h u g
for t h r ee people. Two fa ce ea ch ot h er wit h t h e t h ir d in t h e m iddle fa cin g eit h er on e of
t h e ot h er s. E a ch of t h e t wo on t h e ou t side r ea ch es t owa r d t h e wa ist a r ea of t h e ot h er
h u gs. Th e on e in t h e cen t er wr a ps a r m s a r ou n d t h e wa ist of t h e fa cin g h u gger .
3.
Th e A-F ra m e Hu g : St a n d fa cin g ea ch ot h er , wr a ppin g a r m s a r ou n d sh ou lder s, sides
of h ea ds pr essed t oget h er bodies lea n in g for wa r d a n d n ot t ou ch in g a t a l l below
sh ou lder level. Th e len gt h of t im e spen t in t h e A-F or m a t ion is u su a lly br ief sin ce t h is
is oft en in a “h ello” or “goodbye” h u g.
4.
Ch e e k Hu g : Th e ch eek h u g is a ver y t en der , gen t le h u g t h a t oft en h a s a spir it u a l
qu a lit y. It ca n be exper ien ced com for t a ble sit t in g down , st a n din g u p, or even wit h
on e sit t in g a n d on e st a n din g, a s fu ll body con t a ct is n ot n ecessa r y. If you a r e bot h
sea t ed, t u r n com for t a ble t owa r d ea ch ot h er a n d pr ess t h e sides of you r fa ce t oget h er
ch eek t o ch eek.
5.
S id e -To -S id e Hu g : Th e side-by-side h u g, or t h e la t er a l squ eeze, is a gr ea t h u g t o get
a n d give wh ile wa lkin g a lon g t oget h er . As you st r oll side by side wit h a n a r m a r ou n d
t h e ot h er ‟s wa ist or over t h e sh ou lder , on ce in a wh ile give a gen er ou s squ eeze.
6.
Gro u p Hu g : Th e gr ou p h u g is a ver y popu la r h u g for good fr ien ds sh a r in g in a n
a ct ivit y or pr oject . Th e gr ou p for m s a cir cle – it s m em ber s st a n din g a s close
t oget h er a s possible, a r m s a r ou n d sh ou lder s or wa ist s – a n d squ eezes. In a va r ia t ion ,
gr ou p h u g pa r t icipa n t s, h oldin g ea ch ot h er a s a bove, m ove in t owa r d t h e cen t er ,
sh r in kin g t h e cir cle. Th ey h u ddle t oget h er for sever a l m ovem en t s, t h en ba ck u p a n d
br ea k a pa r t wit h a ch eer or a sign or a qu ick, pa r t in g squ eeze.
7.
B a c k -To -F ro n t Hu g : In t h e ba ck -t o-fr on t h u g, t h e h u gger a ppr oa ch es t h e ot h er
fr om t h e ba ck, fold a r m s a r ou n d h is or h er wa ist , a n d gives a gen t le h u g. Th e ba ck t o-fr on t wa ist gr a bber is t h e per fect h u g t o give som eon e wh o is peelin g pot a t oes,
t ypin g, or ot h er wise en ga ged in som e r ou t in e st a n d -u p or sit -down ch or e.
8.
Gra bbe r-S qu e e ze r Hu g : Th e gr a bber -squ eezer h u g h olds t h e r ecor d for br evit y.
On e h u gger r u n s t o a n d t h r ows a r m s a r ou n d a n ot h er , give a fa st squ eeze in r et u r n , in
or der t o r eceive m a xim u m ben efit fr om t h is h u g. In a va r ia t ion of t h e gr a bber squ eezer , ch or eogr a ph ica lly m or e difficu lt , bot h r u n t owa r d ea ch ot h er a n d in t h e fu ll for ce cr a sh of t wo bodies wh o h a ve h u r dled t oget h er or t h e kn ockin g of t wo h ea ds, be
a wa r e t h is m a y n ega t e som e of t h e good feelin gs.
76
Hug your way to happiness!
By Richard Baker, Indianapolis Gazette
A sim ple h u g is t er r ific m edicin e wh ich ca n cu r e a h ost of em ot ion a l ills, sa ys
a n exper t . “A h ea lt h y dose of h u ggin g a dds n u m er ou s ben efit s t o you r life -in clu din g r edu ced st r ess, dim in ish ed a n ger a n d st r on ger r ela t ion sh ip,” decla r ed
Geoff Godbey, P h .D., a pr ofessor a t P en n St a t e Un iver sit y College of H ea lt h a n d
H u m a n Developm en t .
“Resea r ch poin t s t o t h e fa ct t h a t people n eed h u m a n t ou gh t o feel t h eir best ,
bot h em ot ion a lly a n d ph ysica lly. An d on e of t h e m ost plea su r a ble wa ys t o get a n
a dequ a t e a m ou n t of t ou ch in g in you r life is t h r ou gh t h e sim ple a ct of h u ggin g”.
E ven t op lea der s n ow r ecogn ize t h e ben efit s of a h u g, fa vor in g it t o a st iff for m a l
h a n dsh a ke, Godbey n ot ed.
“Th e for m er P r esiden t Clin t on br ou gh t ba ck in t o fa vor t h e old -fa sh ion ed bea r
h u g -- oft en gr eet in g old a n d n ew fr ien ds wit h a wa r m sm ile a n d open a r m s.” A
good h u g ca n com ba t u n h ea lt h y st r ess, h e obser ved.
“As soon a s we get a wa r m , lovin g h u g, we feel r ea ssu r ed a n d com for t ed. Ou r
st r ess level plu m m et s a n d we feel bet t er a bou t t h e wh ole wor ld. An ger is a n ot h er
n ega t ive em ot ion t h a t ca n be bea t en wit h a wa r m em br a ce”, h e sa id.
“An ger m a kes you h ea r t r a t e a n d blood pr essu r e soa r a n d you r m u scles t en se
u p. Bu t a h u g ca n h elp you . An gr y feelin gs ca n be gr ea t ly dim in ish ed by a close,
deeply felt h u g fr om a lover or fr ien d”.
A h u g ca n a lso h elp ba n ish feelin gs of isola t ion a n d lon elin ess, sa id Godbey.
“H u ggin g is t h er a peu t ic. It st r en gt h en s you r r ela t ion sh ip wit h you r spou se, fa m ily
a n d fr ien ds. An d it h elps you feel con n ect ed t o t h e people you ca r e m ost a bou t .”

Affirmation
As I radiate love and goodwill to others, I will open the channel for God’s
love to come to me. Divine love is the magnet that draws to me all good.
-Paramahansa Yogananda=

77
Use Spiritual Laws to Attract Your Love Mate
by Ifetayo White, founder of A New Dawn, a living transformation program.
Rela t ion sh ips, r ela t ion sh ips, r ela t ion sh ips.
Deeper a n d m or e m ea n in gfu l
con ver sa t ion a n d con t em pla t ion is bein g given t o t h is won der fu l su bject t h a n ever befor e.
In r ea lizin g t h a t a st r on g com m u n it y is bu ilt on st r on g spir it u a l va lu es a n d lovin g
com m it t ed r ela t ion sh ips, we a r e feelin g com pelled t o t r u ly u n der st a n d h ow t o m a ke t h i s
h a ppen .
We a r e becom in g m or e deeply gr ou n ded in t h e fa ct t h a t we a r e spir it u a l bein gs,
gr owin g t h r ou gh h u m a n exper ien ce a n d gover n ed by Spir it u a l La ws. Th ese sa m e la ws
ca n gr ea t ly r edu ce t h e fr equ en cy of t h ose pa in fu l, dist r a ct in g sit u a t ion s in w h ich we
oft en fin d ou r selves. On e wise m et a ph ysicia n t ea ch es t h ose of u s wh o a r e t r yin g t o fin d
ou r per fect Love Ma t e, t h a t h e or sh e is n ot lost a n d does n ot n eed t o be fou n d. In r ea lit y,
ou r t r u e Love Ma t e is m er ely a n ew dept h wit h in ou r selves t o be d iscover ed. As we m a ke
a com m it m en t t o be loved, t o live love, we will a t t r a ct t o u s t h a t per son wit h wh om we
ca n sh a r e t h e fu lfillm en t of a com m it t ed wh ole love.
Spir it u a l La w sa ys t h a t we a t t r a ct t o u s t h a t wh ich we pu t ou t . Th e fir st st ep in
becom in g a m a gn et wh ich will dr a w ou r Love Ma t e t o u s is t o becom e st ill (m edit a t e) a n d
a sk (pr a y) t h e I Am in God P r esen ce for gu ida n ce in kn owin g a n d fu lfillin g t h e Divin e
P la n for u s. Secon dly, we m u st becom e a n d r em a in en t ir ely pa ssive in t h e pr ocess, for a
H igh er P ower is in con t r ol. Du r in g t h is t im e, we a r e given t h e oppor t u n it y of lovin g a ll
life, a ll people. We a ffir m : I a m pu r e Divin e Love t h a t a t t r a ct s t o m e per fect
r ela t ion sh ips. It is n ot ou r job t o sea r ch ever y cla ss or even t for a possible m a t e. It is ou r
t a sk t o let go, let God be God.
It is essen t ia l t h a t du r in g t h e t h ir d st a ge we focu s on ou r own wh olen ess, ou r own
t a len t s, st r en gt h s, va lu es, a n d com plet en ess. Medit a t ion on ou r own per fect ion a n d
wh olen ess, a n d st u dyin g m or e a bou t t h e n a t u r e of God/P er fect ion a n d ou r t r u e
r ela t ion sh ip t o God/P er fect ion will h elp. We ca n a ffir m : I a m wh ole, h ea lt h y, a n d lovin g
a n d I deser ve wh ole, h ea lt h y, a n d lovin g r ela t ion sh ips. it is n ow t im e t o kn ow t h a t ou r
wh olen ess does n ot r est on a n ot h er per son ; we ca n a ccept ou r com plet en ess r igh t n ow
wh er e we a r e.
Wh ile Spir it is t a kin g ca r e of bu sin ess, we will wa n t t o give expr ession t o a ll of t h is
su r ge of love en er gy we a r e exper ien cin g. Wh a t bet t er t im e t o give love in t h e for m of
ser vice! It is in t h e silen ce (in a ct ivit y) t h a t we will com e t o kn ow ou r h igh er selves a n d
t r u e Love Ma t e, bu t it is in a ct ion t h a t we exper ien ce a n d expr ess love. We h a ve so
m a n y oppor t u n it ies in ou r com m u n it y t o sh a r e ou r t a len t s, a n d ou r love for t h e
u plift m en t of ou r Br ot h er s a n d Sist er s.
So beloved Br ot h er s a n d Sist er s, st u dy t h ese pr in ciples, r eflect on t h em a n d wor k wit h
t h em . As Spir it u a l La w t h ey a r e gu a r a n t eed t o wor k a n d we will br in g in t o ou t lives
h ea lt h y r ela t ion sh ips a n d ou r per fect Love Ma t e. E xpect t h e best a n d h igh est in ever y
a r ea of you r life a n d it will so m a n ifest .
78
Open Letter to the Black Love Conference
February 13, 1993
In the 70‟s, Thomas Melcanon wrote a plan which asked and attempted to answer for Black
people, “How Do You Love A Black Woman?” Today, in the 90‟s, with sexual harassment,
domestic violence, and child abuse ever present on our minds, the question for people may be
how do we love, especially woman. Much like a child, a mindless man, not fit for the name
would answer the questions in a simple way: “Anyway she wants to!”
But my thoughts today, have taken a different path, in a direction where more is better, but
better less than more. It takes a lot of people who love, to learn how to love. You take what
you learn from all of them and apply the part that fits to each of them. You learn best from
your wife – the friend, the lover, the soul mate. For with all your faults, ideas, and opinions
they do what is required – they love you.
Your truest love is reserved for your daughter(s) – those who enjoy our priesthood and our
fatherhood. The admiration, the friendship, the vulnerability engendering within us a feeling
that forces up an instinct which can only be described as love.
Of course, if you are lucky, you will learn love first from our queen mothers; and your first
love will be the mother of your children; your longest, oldest, widest, and deepest will be your
grandmama‟s and big mama‟s, and if you‟re really truly lucky and special and blessed, you will
know the love of your mother-in-law.
Then you want to know and have special loves –- queen mother‟s of the adopted family;
“girl friend” and boy friend, or friend/friends – of gifted and talented women, who share their
space with you because they have so much love to give, and need to be loved, that they can do
it without effort, without you feeling like you deserve it or have any special reason for
receiving it. You just get caught up in it and before you know it you say - I LOVE YOU!
Simply love the one that loves you back! And if you think that love begins with touching,
and the best part of love is sex, then you haven‟t let her love touch your heart. Because her
best act of love is the giving of her time and space to you, being with you by her own choice. I
know this to be true because I learned love from the people in my life. Let it be known I Love
You and I know what it means because you taught me.
79
INCREASE THE PEACE, STOP THE VIOLENCE
“It takes a community to raise a child.
It takes that same community to keep them safe”.
Valencia Mohammed, mother of 2 slain sons, founder, MUMS
(Mothers of Unsolved Murders)
Ayo Handy Kendi hugs Tremaine Anderson after telling him about Black Love Day, a
holiday she created in 1993 to help celebrate love in the black community. A year
later, this young man was killed in the inner-city Shaw community in D.C. where the
picture was taken. This murder was never solved like so many Black on Black crimes,
including the murder of Mama Ayo’s 17 year-old son Rashid in 1994. In this same
year, in this same neighborhood, 23 other young Black men were killed. WE must
increase the Peace, by stopping the violence. “It’s up to us, to do for us, what we
must do for ourselves – Ayo Handy-Kendi
80
81
LOVE
Anonymously submitted at BLD Relationship Ceremony, 1994
Love is t h e m ost n a t u r a l t h in g –
it is ea sier t h a n br ea t h in g…
Yet h ow m a n y of u s r ea lly love a s we ca n …
Divin e love, t h a t is,
God-like love, does n ot dem a n d love in r et u r n .
Love fu lfills it self…
Ma n is spir it a n d a pa r t of Alla h (God). Alla h is love…
So spir it m a n is love.
All livin g t h in gs a r e con n ect ed by love.
It is like a cor d t h a t con n ect s ever yt h in g a s on e…
Wh en we love (get in h a r m on y) we a r e in “a ccor d” wit h life.
Th is a ccor d cr ea t es ju st ice, m er cy, love a n d r igh t …
Wh en we t ea r ou r selves a wa y fr om Alla h , a n d fa ll t o t h e ca r n a l (ph ysica l)
con dit ion ,
we lose t ou ch wit h t h is h a r m on y –
we for get h ow t o love divin ely…
So we m u st lea r n a ga in !
Ca r n a l n a t u r e m u st n ot h a ve it ‟s sa t isfa ct ion , it s r ewa r ds!
We m u st let love be.
Mu st see t h e im por t a n ce of ju st lovin g.
St a r t wit h Alla h .
Kn ow t h a t we a r e a pa r t of H im .
Th a t we m u st r em ove t h e h a t e a n d r esen t m en t s t h a t com e fr om n ot r eceivin g ou r
r ewa r ds a n d sa t isfa ct ion s.
To love for Alla h ‟s sa ke we will n ot expect r et u r n s.
An d t h u s obt a in t h e fr eedom fr om t h e ca r n a l pr ison .
Kn ow life for wh a t it is, n ot wh a t it seem s t o be…
Kn ow n ever -en din g love.
Love you r self a n d t h e Alla h in a ll livin g t h in gs.
Kn ow t h a t you a r e a pa r t of a ll t h r ou gh love.
Kn ow t h a t you a n d Alla h (a ll of life) a r e on e.
Rejoice! Th e Tr u t h will m a ke you F RE E !
Lea r n t o love in st ea d of h a t e.
Th e on ly Sa vior of t h e wor ld is Love.
Th e on ly t h in g t h a t will m a ke u s on e (in h a r m on y) wit h Alla h is LOVE
82
Black Love
by Rafiki Cai, a profound spirit and new age technology technician
Wh en it com es t o spea kin g a bou t love, t h er e a r e t wo poin t s t h a t I‟m fon d of
sh a r in g: 1) Love is t h e on ly power a n d 2) A fa m ou s Bible qu ot e wh ich t ea ch es love of
self is cen t r a l. I‟ve gr own in wisdom on t h e fir st poin t , wh ile st ill h oldin g st ea dfa st t o
t h e la t t er .
Tr u t h a s I see it t oda y, a n d a m a ble t o cou r a geou sly fa ce, is t h a t love is n ot t h e
on ly power . F ea r is a power – a t r em en dou s on e t h a t m a n ifest s in m a n y for m s. Gr eed
is a n expr ession of fea r ; a fea r of la ck. So is h a t r ed, wh ich is oft en a fea r of t h e
u n kn own , or t h a t wh ich on e feels is bet t er or m or e power fu l t h a n self. Th a t for m ida ble
foe, lon elin ess, is a fea r t h a t we in ou r selves a r e n ot en ou gh .
Love a s a power , is t h e a bilit y t o keep ou r selves fr ee of fea r . Ar e we n ot t old a s m u ch
in t h e ver se: “F or God h a s n ot given u s t h e spir it of fea r ; bu t of power , of love a n d of a
sou n d m in d.” Or “a per fect love ca st ou t a ll fea r .” No, love is n ot t h e on ly power
oper a t in g in t h is life, bu t it a lon e ca u ses a ll t o flou r ish .
H ow does on e com e t o kn ow love? By r ea lizin g t h a t Love is n ot a given , it is a
cr ea t ion : ou r own cr ea t ion . Su sa n Ta ylor , of E ssen ce Ma ga zin e, pu t s it a n ot h er wa y:
“Love is a belief syst em t h a t we a dopt , a n d st r ive t o live ea ch m om en t ”. So you see, it
doesn ‟t com e in a pa cka ge a lr ea dy wr a pped t o specifica t ion . Mor e dem a n din g t h a n
t h a t , if you don ‟t becom e love, you gr ea t ly lessen you r ch a n ces of fin din g it ; or kn owin g
it even if you ch a n ced t o fin d it . Wh ich br in gs m e t o t h e fa m ou s bible qu ot e: “Love t h y
n eigh bor a s t h yself.” It a bsolu t ely a m a zes m e h ow people r u sh r igh t t o t h e n eigh bor
pa r t , wit h ou t gr a spin g t h e “self” pa r t of t h e for m u la .
We ca n n ot give t h a t wh ich we ou r selves don ‟t h a ve. H ow ca n we t r u t h fu lly
espou se som et h in g t h a t fea r pr even t s u s fr om kn owin g. Cer t a in ly, we ca n pu t for t h a ll
m a n n er of pla t it u des a n d en cou r a gem en t , bu t t h ese a r e m er ely wor ds; a n d v er y poor
su bst it u t es for t h e r ea l t h in g.
So fin a lly we a r r ive a t t h e poin t of t h is wr it in g: Bla ck Love is a ch oice of belief by
Afr ica n Am er ica n s t o a dopt a wa y of life, in dividu a lly a n d collect ively. On e t h a t
em power s u s t o ou r fu llest st a t e of godlin ess. Th a t is n ot t o sa y t h a t it is r eligiosit y or
m er e m or a lit y. It is m or e. It is a ch a llen gin g jou r n ey. On e t h a t is oft en n ot sa fe or
com for t a ble, bu t n ever t h eless a bsolu t ely n ecessa r y.
If you ‟r e Afr ica n Am er ica n , Bla ck Love begin s wit h t h e m eet in g a n d em br a cin g of
you r self. Th e YOU t h a t is fa r m or e t h a n you ‟ve m ost likely been t old. It is a t h r owin g off
of a n y idea s t h a t wou ld set lim it s on you ; t h a t spea ks of less t h a n en dless pot en t ia l. It is
cea sin g t o look ou t side of you r self for a sen se of wor t h , or va lida t ion . Bla ck Love is bein g
su fficien t t o you r self.
On ce you ‟ve r ea ch ed t h is pla t ea u , t h e jou r n ey t h en t u r n s t owa r d seein g ot h er s ju st a s
83
you see you r self. Tr ea t in g t h em a s we a r e lea r n in g t o t r ea t ou r selves; wit h a ppr ecia t ion ,
wit h fa it h in t h e en dless pot en t ia l t h a t is ou r cor e of bein g.
A ver y im por t a n t t h in g t o su ggest a bou t t h is sojou r n , is t h a t you r ea lly sh ou ld lea r n
t o t r a vel by you r own m a r ker s; you r own in t er n a l gu idin g. I ca n h elp you on t h e r oa d,
bu t I ca n n ot sh ow you t h e wa y. F or ever y qu est is differ en t . You r a r r iva l t im e a t
cer t a in poin t s a r e differ en t t h a n m y own . It m a y be a pa r t of you r exper ien ce t o m a ke
t h e t r ek by m ot or ca r , wh ile I will get t h e m ost by foot or bike. Th er e sh ou ld be n o
m ea su r em en t or ju dgm en t s. No con cer n of wh o get s wh er e fir st , or h ow-- or by wh a t
st yle. It is n ot a r a ce. It ‟s a jou r n ey.
Wh en we on -goin gly em br a ce t h is ph ilosoph y a bou t life, in a ll of it ‟s dept h s, we ca n
t h r ow off a gr ea t dea l of ou r fea r a n d bin din gs. We ca n cea se t o swea t t h e sm a ll
st u ff.
If on e looks closely, love is a t t h e cor e of t h e Afr ica n lega cy. Th is wa s t h e power of
Dr . Kin g: u n der st a n din g t h a t ou r t h r ea d of love wea ves it self t h r ou gh ou t t h e wh ole of
civiliza t ion . We m u st fin d t h a t t h r ea d a ga in , in a n d for ou r selves.

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart
and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength and
with all thy mind and thy neighbor as thyself”
Luke 10:27 )

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WHAT I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT PEOPLE AND
RELATIONSHIPS . . . .
Anonymous
I've lea r n ed t h a t r ega r dless of h ow h ot a n d st ea m y
a r ela t ion sh ip is a t fir st , t h e pa ssion fa des
a n d t h er e h a d bet t er be som et h in g else t o t a ke it s pla ce.
I've lea r n ed t h a t h er oes a r e t h e people wh o do wh a t h a s t o be
don e wh en it n eeds t o be don e, r ega r dless of t h e con sequ en ces.
I've lea r n ed t h a t m on ey is a lou sy wa y of keepin g scor e.
I've lea r n ed t h a t m y best fr ien d a n d I ca n do a n yt h in g
or n ot h in g a n d h a ve t h e best t im e.
I've lea r n ed t h a t som et im es t h e people you expect t o kick you w h en
you 'r e down will be t h e on es t o h elp you get ba ck u p.
I've lea r n ed t h a t som et im es wh en I'm a n gr y I h a ve t h e r igh t t o be a n gr y,
bu t t h a t doesn 't give m e t h e r igh t t o be cr u el.
I've lea r n ed t h a t t r u e fr ien dsh ip con t in u es t o gr ow,
even over t h e lon gest dist a n ce. Sa m e goes for t r u e love.
I've lea r n ed t h a t ju st beca u se som eon e doesn 't love you t h e wa y you wa n t t h em t o
doesn 't m ea n t h ey don 't love you wit h a ll t h ey h a ve.
I've lea r n ed t h a t m a t u r it y h a s m or e t o do wit h wh a t t ypes of exper ien ces you 've h a d a n d
wh a t you 've lea r n ed fr om t h em a n d less t o do wit h h ow m a n y bir t h da ys you 've
celebr a t ed.
I've lea r n ed t h a t som e m em ber s of you r fa m ily m a y n ot a lwa ys be t h er e for you . It m a y
seem fu n n y, bu t people you a r en 't r ela t ed t o ca n t a ke ca r e of you bet t er … An d love you
a n d t ea ch you t o t r u st people a ga in . F a m ilies a r en 't biologica l.
I've lea r n ed t h a t n o m a t t er h ow good a fr ien d is, t h ey'r e goin g t o h u r t you ever y on ce in
a wh ile a n d you m u st for give t h em for t h a t .
I've lea r n ed t h a t it isn 't a lwa ys en ou gh t o be for given by ot h er s. Som et im es you a r e t o
lea r n t o for give you r self.
I've lea r n ed t h a t n o m a t t er h ow ba d you r h ea r t is br oken t h e wor ld doesn 't st op for you r
gr ief.
85
I've lea r n ed t h a t ou r ba ckgr ou n d a n d cir cu m st a n ces m a y h a ve in flu en ced wh o we a r e,
bu t we a r e r espon sible for wh o we becom e.
I've lea r n ed t h a t ju st beca u se t wo people a r gu e,
it doesn 't m ea n t h ey don 't love ea ch ot h er .
An d ju st beca u se t h ey don 't a r gu e, it st ill doesn 't m ea n t h ey do.
I've lea r n ed t h a t we don 't h a ve t o ch a n ge fr ien ds if we u n der st a n d t h a t fr ien ds ch a n ge.
I've lea r n ed t h a t you sh ou ldn 't be so ea ger t o fin d ou t a secr et .
It cou ld ch a n ge you r life for ever .
I've lea r n ed t h a t t wo people ca n look a t t h e exa ct sa m e t h in g
a n d see som et h in g t ot a lly differ en t .
I‟ve lea r n ed t h a t n o m a t t er h ow you t r y t o pr ot ect you r ch ildr en
t h ey will even t u a lly get h u r t a n d you will h u r t in t h e pr ocess.
I‟ve lea r n ed t h a t you r life ca n be ch a n ged in a m a t t er of h ou r s,
or even secon ds, by people wh o don ‟t even kn ow you .
I‟ve lea r n ed t h a t even wh en you t h in k you h a ve n o m or e t o give,
wh en a fr ien d cr ies ou t t o you , you will fin d t h e st r en gt h t o h elp.
I‟ve lea r n ed t h a t cr eden t ia ls on t h e wa ll do n ot m a ke you a decen t h u m a n bein g.
I've lea r n ed t h a t eit h er you con t r ol you r a t t it u de or it con t r ols you .
I‟ve lea r n ed t h a t t h e people you ca r e a bou t t h e m ost in life a r e t a ken fr om you t oo
soon …..a lwa ys pa r t in love, you m igh t n ot get a n ot h er ch a n ce.

We don’t need no more trouble
What we need is Love……
Bob Marley

SAVE THE CHILDREN
OUR CHILDREN AND OUR FAMILIES ARE OUR FUTURE
SECURE THE FUTURE THROUGH OUR BLACK LOVE
Ayo Handy Kendi, founder, Black Love Day
86
87
Sarah
My n a m e is Sa r a h
I a m bu t t h r ee,
My eyes a r e swollen
I ca n n ot see,
H e fin ds m e weepin g
H e sh ou t s u gly wor ds,
H e sa ys it s m y fa u lt
Th a t h e su ffer s a t wor k.
I m u st be st u pid,
I m u st be ba d,
Wh a t else cou ld h a ve m a de
My da ddy so m a d?
H e sla ps m e a n d h it s m e
An d yells a t m e m or e,
I fin a lly get fr ee
An d I r u n for t h e door .
I wish I wer e bet t er ,
I wish I wer en 't u gly,
Th en m a ybe m y Mom m y
Wou ld st ill wa n t t o h u g m e.
H e's a lr ea dy locked it
An d I st a r t t o ba wl,
H e t a kes m e a n d t h r ows m e
Aga in st t h e h a r d wa ll.
I ca n 't spea k a t a ll,
I ca n 't do a wr on g
Or else I'm locked u p
All t h e da y lon g.
I fa ll t o t h e floor
Wit h m y bon es n ea r ly br oken ,
An d m y da ddy con t in u es
Wit h m or e ba d wor ds spoken .
Wh en I a wa ke I'm a ll a lon e
Th e h ou se is da r k
My folks a r en 't h om e.
"I'm sor r y!", I scr ea m
Bu t it s n ow m u ch t oo la t e
H is fa ce h a s been t wist ed
In t o u n im a gin a ble h a t e.
Wh en m y Mom m y does com e
I'll t r y a n d be n ice,
So m a ybe I'll get ju st
On e wh ippin g t on igh t .
Don 't m a ke a sou n d!
I ju st h ea r d a ca r
My da ddy is ba ck
F r om Ch a r lie's Ba r .
I h ea r h im cu r se
My n a m e h e ca lls
I pr ess m yself
Aga in st t h e wa ll.
I t r y a n d h ide
F r om h is evil eyes
I'm so a fr a id n ow
I'm st a r t in g t o cr y.
Th e h u r t a n d t h e pa in
Aga in a n d a ga in
Oh plea se God, h a ve m er cy!
Oh plea se let it en d!
An d h e fin a lly st ops
An d h ea ds for t h e door ,
Wh ile I la y t h er e m ot ion less
Spr a wled on t h e floor .
My n a m e is Sa r a h
An d I a m bu t t h r ee,
Ton igh t m y da ddy
Mu r der ed m e.
There are thousands of kids out there just like Sarah.
We must acknowledge that this stuff does happen, and
that people like her dad do live in our society, We must
pray for child abuse to wither out and die, but also
pray for the safety of our youth. Remember this poem
and make a change! Anonymous
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AN “I LOVE YOU” STORY
-anonymous from the Internet, edited by Ayo Handy-Kendi
On e da y a wom a n 's h u sba n d died, a n d on t h a t clea r , cold m or n in g, in t h e wa r m t h of t h eir
bedr oom , t h e wife wa s st r u ck wit h t h e pa in of lea r n in g t h a t som et im es t h er e isn 't a n ym or e!
No m or e h u gs, n o m or e specia l m om en t s t o celebr a t e t oget h er , n o m or e ph on e ca lls ju st t o
ch a t , n o m or e ju st on e m in u t e, n o m or e I‟ll see you la t er .
Som et im es, wh a t we ca r e a bou t t h e m ost get s a ll u sed u p a n d goes a wa y, n ever t o r et u r n
befor e
we
ca n
sa y
good-bye-befor e
we
ca n
sa y
“I
love
you .”
So wh ile we h a ve it , it 's best we love it a n d ca r e for it a n d fix it wh en it 's br oken …..a n d h ea l it
wh en it 's sick. Th is is t r u e for m a r r ia ge a n d r ela t ion sh ips a n d old ca r s a n d ch ildr en wit h ba d
r epor t ca r ds a n d dogs wit h ba d h ips a n d a gin g pa r en t s a n d gr a n dp a r en t s. We keep t h em
beca u se t h ey a r e wor t h it , beca u se we a r e wor t h it . Love is a gift we give t o ou r selves.
Som e t h in gs we keep - like a best fr ien d wh o m oved a wa y
Th er e a r e ju st som e t h in gs a n d som e people t h a t m a ke u s
wh o we kn ow wh o a r e specia l t o u s. An d so, we keep t h em
n ever
t a ke
t h em
for
gr a n t ed,
n ever
or a cla ssm a t e we gr ew u p wit h .
h a ppy, n o m a t t er wh a t -- people,
close, r ecogn ize t h eir im por t a n ce,
t r ea t
t h em
so
ca su a l!
I r eceived t h is st or y fr om som eon e wh o t h ou gh t I wa s a 'keeper '! Th en I s en t it t o t h e people I
t h in k of in t h e sa m e wa y. Now it 's you r t u r n t o sen d t h is t o a ll t h ose people wh o a r e 'keeper s'
in you r life. Su ppose on e m or n in g you didn ‟t wa ke u p. Do a ll you r fr ien ds kn ow you love
t h em ?
I wa s t h in kin g...I cou ld die t oda y, t om or r ow or n ext week, a n d I won der ed if I h a d a n y wou n ds
n eedin g t o be h ea led, fr ien dsh ips t h a t n eeded r ekin dlin g or t h r ee wor ds…”I Love You ”,
n eedin g t o be sa id t o sh a r e ou r t r u e selves a n d feelin gs……………………
Let ever y on e of you r fr ien ds a n d fa m ily m em ber s kn ow you love t h em . E ven if you t h in k t h ey
don 't love you ba ck, you wou ld be a m a zed a t wh a t t h ose t h r ee lit t le wor ds a n d a sm ile ca n do.
An d ju st in ca se, wh en GOD ca lls m e h om e…….r em em ber ,
I LOVE YA !!!
Live t oda y t o t h e fu llest beca u se t om or r ow is n ot pr om ised.

What the world needs now, is love, sweet love….

89
I‟m No Expert – Just Blessed With Love
by Ayo Handy Kendi
I a m a ver y blessed per son beca u se I h a ve so m u ch love a r ou n d m e. I h a ve a ver y lovin g
im m edia t e fa m ily, a n ext en ded fa m ily, su ppor t ive in -la ws, m a n y a ssocia t es a n d a n u m ber of
people wh o I con sider r ea lly good fr ien ds. I‟ve oft en r ea d r ela t ion sh ip books t h a t sa y you a r e
blessed if you ca n iden t ify, a t best , t wo t o t h r ee close fr ien ds in you r lifet im e. I t h en m u st be
ext r em ely blessed, beca u se I h a ve n ot even r ea ch ed m y fift iet h bir t h da y; yet , I ca n h on est ly
cla im a t lea st 10 people wh om I‟ve kn own a s fr ien ds for 10 t o 30 yea r s a n d I h a ve m a n y close
a ssocia t es t h a t I ca n cou n t on wh o I love a n d I believe, love m e.
Oper a t in g in t h is well-spr in g of love – m y effor t s, t r ia ls a n d t r ibu la t ion s fr om ch ildh ood
in t o wom a n h ood – h a ve focu sed m e on bein g exceedin gly a wa r e of love. Alon g m y life -wa lk,
t h e Cr ea t or h a s blessed m e fu r t h er wit h t h e kn owledge of t h e gr ea t est love of a ll – t h e love of
GOD. I pr a y da ily, in a ppr ecia t ion , kn owin g t h a t I a m a ch ild of GOD, loved a n d ca r ed for by
a Divin e P ower fu l F or ce.
In t h e ea r ly 70‟s a s I st a r t ed m y ca r eer in h u m a n ser vices, I ch a n ged t h e n a m e given t o m e
by m y pa r en t s, t o a n a m e t h a t r eflect ed m y Afr ica n h er it a ge; a n a m e t h a t a lso r eflect ed m y
u n der st a n din g of t h e per son I h a d becom e. I a dopt ed t h e n a m e Ayo wh ich m ea n s “J oy” in t h e
Yor u ba la n gu a ge. Wit h a desir e t o spr ea d joy t o ot h er s a n d t o m a in t a in joy in m y h ea r t , livin g
u p t o m y n a m e m ot iva t es m e t oda y ju st a s it did wh en I a ccept ed it .
Ma in t a in in g a sen se of joy h a s in cr ea sed m y a bilit y t o st a y posit ive a n d lovin g. A sen se of
joy h a s per m ea t ed m y a t t it u de so m u ch t h a t I developed a con cept in 1981 ca lled “P osit ive
E n er gy”. P osit ive E n er gy is a n a t t it u de t h a t ch a n ges a n d ba la n ces n ega t ive a ct in g, t h in kin g
a n d feelin g. I h a ve u sed t h ese a t t it u des in m y wor k a s a com m u n it y or ga n izer , a n ewspa per
edit or , a pu blish er , a t ea ch er a n d a m ot h er sin ce t h a t t im e. I h a ve n eeded bot h a sen se of joy
a n d posit ive en er gy, beca u se wor kin g wit h people r equ ir es a lot of ca r e,
h u m or ,
u n der st a n din g,
com pa ssion a n d for given ess –a ll a t t r ibu t es of love. I‟ve n eeded t h ese
a t t it u des beca u se even a s I‟ve h a d a good life of love, su ppor t a n d joy, I‟ve a lso h a d m y pa in
t oo. As t h e son g by F r a n kie Bever ly a n d Ma ze goes, “ joy a n d pa in ju st like su n sh in e a n d
r a in ”.
I oft en t h in k t h a t t h e Cr ea t or r evea led t h e idea of Bla ck Love Da y t o com e t h r ou gh m e
beca u se of m y open n ess t o life wit h it s joys a n d pa in s. I‟m n ot a n a u t h or it y on love, bu t I‟ve
cer t a in ly h a d lot s of life, love a n d n u r t u r in g wit h in m y fa m ily. Th r ou gh st r en gt h a n d pa t ien t
per sever a n ce, t h ese qu a lit ies su st a in ed m y pa r en t s t h r ou gh a n d beyon d a dver sit y for 52 yea r s
of a fa ir ly good m a r r ia ge of opposit e per son a lit ies, wh o m u t u a lly loved t h eir 5 ch ildr en a n d
la t er , t h eir gr a n d a n d gr ea t -gr a n dch ildr en .
I a lso exper ien ced a bu se a s a ch ild, wa s r a ised a r ou n d a n a lcoh olic fa t h er a n d felt t h e
sen se of love a n d h a t e t owa r ds h im for m a n y yea r s u n t il I t r u ly for ga ve h im . At a ge n in et een ,
I flew over sea s, t o Okin a wa , wh er e I m a r r ied m y h igh sch ool sweet h ea r t a t t h e a ir for ce ba se
wh er e h e wa s st a t ion ed. We h a d t o gr ow-u p over n igh t a n d t o gr ow in -love. Ret u r n in g h om e
r evolu t ion ized a n d m or e in love wit h “ou r people”, we bor e 2 son s a n d st a yed t oget h er in love
90
for n in e yea r s. Dr u gs a n d im m a t u r e em ot ion s ou t -dist a n ced ou r you t h fu l a bilit y t o over com e
ou r ch a llen ges a n d sa dly we gr ew a pa r t . E ven t u a lly we sepa r a t ed bu t we decided t o r em a in a s
fr ien ds u n t il we divor ced, som e 13 yea r s la t er . Du r in g t h ese yea r s we a gr eed t o co-pa r en t by
sh a r in g in t h e r espon sibilit ies of r a isin g ou r son s. Ou r bon d of fr ien dsh ip t h er efor e gr ew u n t il
h is dea t h , a ft er a lon g illn ess in 1997.
Aft er fift een yea r s of r ecr ea t ion a l dr u g u se, I beca m e a ddict ed t o coca in e a n d a lcoh ol in t h e
la st t wo of t h ose yea r s. H a d t o gr ow m or e in love wit h m yself t o u n der st a n d m y self-a bu se
wa s a bou t filin g t h e void of love I felt fr om t h e a bu se I exper ien ced a s a ch ild. Wit h Al la h ‟s
love a n d gr a ce t h e void wa s closed a n d I wa s deliver ed fr om t h e dem on s of a ddict ion .
H owever , I wa t ch ed m y son s r epea t m y st r u ggle, wit h t h eir love -h a t e r ela t ion sh ip wit h t h eir
Da d, wh o t r ied so h a r d t o be a good pa r en t despit e h is lon g ba t t le wit h a ddict ion s. H e n ever
h a d m u ch m on ey t o offer m e or t h em bu t h e did expose m y son s t o ch u r ch , m u sic, pr ofession a l
voice t r a in in g in t h eir ch oir , la u gh t er , a n d a t best , wh a t love h e cou ld give t h em even wh en h e
wa sn ‟t sh owin g love for h im self..
Th ey, even t u a lly sh owed t h eir
a n ger a bou t h is
“in con gr u en t ”, n on -a va ila ble beh a vior a n d disr espect of h im sh owed, a s t h ey gr ew u p, ca u sin g
t h em difficu lt ies wh en t h ey lived a t m y h om e in t h eir ea r ly yea r s a n d a t sch ool, in t h e st r eet s,
in t h e cou r t syst em s, a n d in t h eir r ela t ion sh ips, a s a dolescen t s.. Bu t a s a n ext en ded fa m ily -h is a n d m in e -- we sh owed a fir m u n ified fr on t , t ou gh love a n d com pa ssion , a ll a t t h e sa m e
t im e, du r in g t h ese t u r bu len t yea r s.
Wh en m y ex-h u sba n d/fr ien d h a d a t h ir d son , by h is fia n cée‟, I felt bon ded t o t h is sist er
t h r ou gh ou r sh a r ed cir cu m st a n ces of h a vin g loved t h e sa m e m a n a n d h a vin g con n ect ed wit h
t h is m a n ‟s fa m ily – pa r t icu la r ly h is “Mom ”. Wh en I m a r r ied t h e secon d t im e t o a m a n I m et
a n d fell in love wit h a lm ost over n igh t , believin g h im t o be m y sou l m a t e, I expa n ded m y
feelin gs of love a ll t h e wa y t o h is h om e st a t e F lor ida t o h is ch ildr en a n d la r ge fa m ily. We
sh owed ou r love for t h e com m u n it y a s gr a ss -r oot s or ga n izer s wou ld a n d h eld a pu blic weddin g
in t h e bea u t ifu l pa r k n a m ed a ft er ou r m u t u a l h er o, br ot h er “Ma lcolm X”. Wit h in t h e secon d
yea r of t h is m a r r ia ge, h owever , ou r love wa s t est ed wit h dr u g a n d a bu se issu es a n d t h e violen t
dea t h of m y you n gest son , Ra sh id. Kn owin g t h a t I h a d don e t h e best t h a t I cou ld in exposin g
m y son t o love a n d t h e bea u t y of life, I felt good in m y h ea r t t h a t despit e h is sh or t life, h is wa s
a fu ll, vibr a n t life, a n d t h is h elped m e spir it u a lly m ove on .
Wit h in six m on t h ‟s of Ra sh id‟s t r a n sit ion m y Da d m a de h is, a ft er a lin ger in g, debilit a t in g
illn ess wit h br a in ca n cer . My br ot h er s, sist er s, m y m om a n d so m a n y ot h er s ca m e t oget h er
h oldin g ea ch ot h er u p wit h ou r love a n d la u gh t er a s on ly a fa m ily ca n du r in g su ch em ot ion a l
t im es. Da d wa s bu r ied in for given ess beca u se love h a d over com e a n y lin ger in g pa in I h a d so
lon g h eld.
Yea r s la t er , I exper ien ced on ce m or e, h ow for t u n a t e I a m t o h a ve so m u ch love. Aft er
seven m on t h s of h ospit a liza t ion , m y fir st h u sba n d a n d n ow good fr ien d, pa ssed. At h is
ser vice, h is son a n d ou r son sa t t oget h er , wh ile u s t wo sist er s – a for m er wife a n d a for m er
fia n cée bot h com for t ed h is gr ievin g m ot h er a n d fa t h er . Th en , a lm ost exa ct ly a m on t h la t er ,
h is m ot h er , ou r “Mom ”, t h e secon d m ot h er t o m y son , m a de h er t r a n sit ion a ft er a m a ssive
h ea r t a t t a ck, wh ich I believed, wa s t h e r esu lt of a m a ssive h ea r t a ch e fr om loosin g h er on ly
son . F or t h e secon d t im e, t h is ext en ded fa m ily sa t t oget h er in t h e sa m e ch u r ch pews t o sa y
la st wor ds of love a n d a ppr ecia t ion t o a wom a n wh o h a d h elped so m a n y.
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Du r in g t h e week of m y for m er , m ot h er -in -la w‟s pa ssin g, m y eldest son a n d h is fia n cée‟
bor e a m a le ch ild, m y fir st gr a n dson , a n d on t h e da y of “Mom ‟s” fu n er a l, t h a t even in g we
br ou gh t h om e t h is bu n dle of r en ewed h ope a n d joy. In Divin e Or der , Alla h h a d wor ked ou t
a n ot h er love m ir a cle. Ra sh id (t h e Secon d) ca m e in t o ou r lives. At bir t h h e looked ju st like h is
Un cle Ra sh id a t in fa n cy, a n d I kn ew t h e Cr ea t or h a d blessed u s wit h t h e r ein ca r n a t e of m y
son . I felt so con n ect ed wit h t h is ba by a n d ela t ed in love, on ce m or e.
I cou ld go on a n d on beca u se life is like t h is. On e m in u t e you ‟r e u p, t h e n ext m in u t e you ‟r e
dea lin g wit h ch a llen ges t h a t m a y seem in su r m ou n t a ble, t h en t h ey don ‟t la st . I sh a r e m y
life h er e t o h elp you see t h a t I‟m n o exper t on love – I‟m on ly livin g t o t h e fu llest . Love t o m e,
is wh a t life is a ll a bou t . Lovin g Alla h , a s Alla h so loves u s. Lovin g m yself. Lovin g m y su ppor t
n et wor k – m y fa m ily, m y fr ien ds, m y com m u n it y. Lovin g Bla ck people a n d Wh it e people a n d
all people beca u se we a r e all God ’s ch ild ren .
Lovin g a n d lea r n in g.
Lovin g a n d givin g.
Lovin g a n d r eceivin g.. Lovin g m y spir it , m y m in d
a n d m y body. Lovin g m y over -t welve yea r s of
a ddict ion -fr ee livin g a n d a ppr ecia t in g h ow m u ch
I‟ve lea r n ed a n d a ccept ed a bou t m yself a s a n
“a du lt ch ild of a n a lcoh olic”. Lovin g a n d lea r n in g
h ow t o br ea t h e a ga in wh ich h a s br ou gh t m e n ew
vit a lit y, en er gy a n d a st r ess -copin g m ech a n ism ,
wh ich I love E ven lovin g ever y a dver sit y in m y
life, kn owin g t h a t life‟s lows h a ve m a de m e
st r on ger a n d r ecept ive t o a ppr ecia t e life‟s h igh s.
I a lso love t h e Afr ica n in m e, beca u se, t h is is a
h er it a ge t h a t h on or s fa m ily a s t h e m ost im por t a n t
t r ea su r e ou t side of kn owin g t h e Cr ea t or . F a m ily
a n d u n it y m ea n s love a n d it is wit h in m y Afr ica n
a n cest r y t o view fa m ily a s m y r ea l in n er -wea lt h . I
a lso love t h e Na t ive Am er ica n a n cest r y in m e,
beca u se t h is h er it a ge h a s h elped m e ga in t h e
con n ect ion t h a t t h e Cr ea t or is in ever yt h in g a n d is
ever ywh er e – n a t u r e, object s, a n im a ls a n d pla n t s
a n d t h is a wa r en ess h a s h elped m e a ppr ecia t e
lovin g ever yt h in g ju st a s I love t h e Cr ea t or .
So, in t h is a r t icle, I sh a r ed wit h you a ll of t h e
love t h a t I h a ve, com in g fr om a per spect ive of
spir it u a l gr owt h , fa m ily, com m u n it y, ser vice, joy
a n d pa in . I h ope t h a t you h a ve fou n d som et h in g
wit h in it s m essa ge t o a dd t o you r in n er wea lt h of
love. St a y in t h e ligh t a n d love.
In t h e Spir it of t h e Akom a (t h e h ea r t )
Ayo H a n dy Ken di
Mama Ayo and her son Rashid, who was violently
killed at age 17, served as one of the first Youth
Entrepreneurs in AAHA’s YEP and whose life has
inspired hundreds of enterprising youth Today.
Below: Older son Ako, his sons, Rashid and Malik
Handy, Mama Ayo’s rays of hope.
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Ayo‟s “I‟m No Expert” Relationship Check-Up
1. To e v a lu a te h o w g o o d o f a re la tio n s h ip y o u h a v e w ith th e Cre a to r, c h e c k th e s e
p o in ts :
a . Do you da ily h a ve a “God-Mor n in g” in wh ich you spen d som e t im e u pon a wa ken in g, in
pr a yer , m edit a t ion , m om en t of silen ce or wor sh ip on som e level?
b. Do you give “God” H is glor y a t sever a l t im es du r in g t h e da y?
c. Do you pr a ct ice for given ess a s a spir it u a l pr in ciple?
d. Do you pr a ct ice gr a t it u de or cou n t you r blessin gs big or sm a ll, a s a spir it u a l pr in ciple of
t h a n ksgivin g?
e. Goin g t o t h e Sou r ce t o a sk for a ssist a n ce is good, bu t do you pr a y on ly wh en you n eed
som et h in g or on ly wh en in t r ou ble?
f. Ar e you su r r ou n ded by spir it u a lly ba n kr u pt r ela t ion sh ips or en vir on m en t s?
g. Wh en wa s t h e la st t im e you r ea d fr om a h oly book a n d/or a t t en ded som e wor sh ip ser vice
(of a n y kin d)?
h . Do you feel a per son a l r ela t ion sh ip wit h a H igh er P ower ?
2. He re a re 6 P rim a ry La w s o f Cre a tin g Qu a lity Re la tio n s h ip s . Wh e re is y o u r
re la tio n s h ip a c c o rd in g to th e s e S p iritu a l La w s ?:
a -1. Be a bou t t h e Cr ea t or , fir st a n d la st a n d ever yt h in g in -bet ween is goin g t o be a ll r igh t .
b-2. If t h e Cr ea t or ca n do ever yt h in g, wh y n ot a sk t h e Sou r ce t o in t er ven e in ou r
r ela t ion sh ips, t o wor k t h in gs ou t .
c-3. Th e best t h in g on e ca n do in r ela t ion sh ips is en joy. Let Go a n d let God.
d.-4 Wh en you ca n ‟t en joy, a ccept ! Th is t oo sh a ll pa ss.
e-5. Do u n t o you r m a t e a s you wou ld h a ve you r m a t e do u n t o you
f-6
H on or t h e God-for ce in you r m a t e
g-7 . Do you pr a ct ice t h e ABC‟s – Ask, Believe a n d Cla im a s r ela t ion sh ips like ever yt h in g else
t a ke fa it h
3..To e v a lu a te h o w g o o d o f a re la tio n s h ip y o u h a v e w ith y o u r bo d y a n d y o u rs e lf,
c h e c k th e s e p o in ts . D o y o u :
a.
b.
c.
d.
List en
Respect
E xt en d love
Accept
e.
f.
g.
h.
Ca r e
Com m u n ica t e
Con n ect
Wa t ch you r a ssocia t ion s
i.
j.
k.
l.
Good P er son a l H ygien e
H ea lt h P r even t ion
Wa t ch you r t h ou gh t s
Life in ba la n ce
3. Th e s e s ix e x p re s s io n s o f lo v e a re th e p rim a ry w a y s in w h ic h w e d e m o n s tra te lo v e
to o n e a n o th e r. Ar e you bein g pr ovided wit h t h e expr ession of love fr om t h e love in t er est s in
93
you r life t h a t m a ke you feel loved? Ar e you a lso dem on st r a t in g t h e expr ession of love t h a t is
m ost n eeded t o you r m a t e. If t h e love is n ot given or r eceived, a s it is n eeded, n o m a t t er
wh a t you give, m or e m a y be n eeded. Th e key t o t h is is ba la n ce a n d com m u n ica t ion . F in din g
ou t wh a t t u r n s on t h e love vibr a t ion is a good begin n in g.
Th e 6 e x p re s s io n s th a t d e m o n s tra te lo v e a re :
a . Accept a n ce
b. Tou ch in g,
c. Givin g qu a lit y t im e
d. Givin g gift s
e. Offer in g wor ds of en cou r a gem en t
f. Givin g in ser vice
Ch eck off t h e expr ession (s) wh ich plea se you or you r love in t er est t h e m ost .
4. To e v a lu a te h o w g o o d o f a re la tio n s h ip y o u h a v e w ith y o u r m a te a s a c o u p le ,
c h e c k o ff th e qu a litie s th a t y o u h a v e :
a . A spir it u a l fou n da t ion
b. Bein g a ble t o a ckn owledge pa r t n er ‟s “h igh er self”, a n d spir it u a l pu r pose, a n d h elp
pa r t n er s in t h is fu lfillm en t
c. Mu t u a l r espect
d. Con sider a t ion , a ppr ecia t ion , a ckn owledgem en t for on e a n ot h er
e. Good a bilit y t o com m u n ica t e, u n der st a n d a n d list en
f. H u m or
g. Tr u st
h . Accept a n ce, va lida t ion , t oler a n ce, com pa ssion
i. A h ea lt h y a n d posit ive ou t look on life; en er gy for love of a n ot h er , du e t o love of self
j. Willin gn ess t o gr ow a n d ch a n ge; flexibilit y
k. Com m it m en t
l. F r ien dsh ip
m . F or given ess, com pa ssion a n d u n der st a n din g
n . P a ssion a n d a ffect ion for ea ch ot h er
o. In t er depen den ce
p. Qu a lit y t im e a n d a t t en t ion wit h ea ch ot h er
q. Good a bilit y t o wor k t h r ou gh ch a llen ges
r . Willin gn ess t o t a ke ea ch ot h er ‟s per son a l h ist or ies ser iou sly
s. Abilit y t o m a n a ge ph ysica l or em ot ion a l a n ger or a bu se
t . Allow ea ch ot h er ‟s differ en ces; a gr ee t o disa gr ee.
u . Do you t a ke t im e t o celebr a t e you r love a n d m a ke u p wh en t h in gs go a st r a y.
Ch e c k th e p o in ts th a t y o u s e e in y o u r m a te o r a s a c o u p le .
5. Ev a lu a te h o w w e ll y o u r fa m ily ’s lo v e re la tio n s h ip is w o rk in g , by u s in g th e s e 6
p rin c ip le s o f a h e a lth y fa m ily a n d c h e c k o ff:
a . Com m it t ed t o t h e fa m ily
b. Spen d t im e t oget h er
c. H a ve good fa m ily com m u n ica t ion
d. E xpr ess a ppr ecia t ion t o ea ch ot h er
e. H a ve a sh a r ed spir it u a l per spect ive or pr a ct ice
f. Ar e a ble t o solve pr oblem s in a cr isis
94
6. Lo v e y o u rs e lf a n d y o u r fa m ily e n o u g h by ta k in g a n h o n e s t lo o k a t a bu s e in y o u r
re la tio n s h ip . “S i g n s t o Look for i n a Ba t t er i n g P er son a l i t y” a re lis te d h e re . Use
t h ese sign s t o eva lu a t e a ccor din g t o t h ese 15 wa r n in g sign s of a n a bu sive per son a lit y
r epr in t ed by per m ission fr om t h e P r oject for Vict im s of F a m ily Violen ce, F a yet t eville, Ar k.
1. A P USH F OR QUICK INVOLVE ME NT: Com es on ver y st r on g, cla im in g, “I‟ve n ever felt
loved like t h is by a n yon e.” An a bu ser pr essu r es t h e per son for a n exclu sive com m it m en t
a lm ost im m edia t ely.
2. J E ALOUSY: E xcessively possessive; ca lls con st a n t ly or visit s u n expect edly; pr even t s you
fr om goin g t o wor k beca u se “you m igh t m eet som eon e”, ch ecks t h e m ilea ge on you r ca r .
3. CONTROLLING: In t er r oga t es you in t en sely (especia lly if you ‟r e la t e) a bou t wh om you
t a lked t o, a n d wh er e you wer e; keeps a ll t h e m on ey; in sist s you a sk per m ission t o g o a n ywh er e
or do a n yt h in g.
4. UNRE ALISTIC E XP E CTATION S: E xpect s you t o be t h e per fect per son a n d m eet h is/h er
ever y n eed.
5. ISOLATION: Tr ies t o cu t you off fr om fa m ily a n d fr ien ds; a ccu ses people wh o a r e you r
su ppor t er s of “ca u sin g t r ou ble”; t h e a bu s er m a y depr ive you of a ph on e or ca r or t r y t o pr even t
you fr om h oldin g a job.
6. BLAME S OTH E RS F OR P ROBLE MS AND MISTAKE S: Th e boss, you , it ‟s a lwa ys
som eon e else‟s fa u lt if a n yt h in g goes wr on g.
7. MAKE S E VE RYONE E LSE RE SP ONSIBLE F OR H IS F E E LINGS: Th e a bu ser sa ys “You
m a ke m e a n gr y” in st ea d of, “ I a m a n gr y” or You ‟r e h u r t in g m e by n ot doin g wh a t I t ell you ”.
Less obviou s is t h e cla im : “You m a ke m e h a ppy”.
8. H YP E RSE NSITIVITY: Is ea sily in su lt ed, cla im in g t h a t h is feelin gs a r e h u r t wh en h e is
r ea lly m a d. H e‟ll r a n t a bou t t h e in ju st ice of t h in gs t h a t a r e ju st pa r t of life.
9. CRUE LTY TO ANIMALS AND TO CH ILDRE N: Kills or pu n ish es a n im a ls br u t a lly. Also
m a y expect ch ildr en t o do t h in gs t h a t a r e fa r beyon d t h eir a bilit y (wh ips a 2 -yea r -old for
wet t in g a dia per ) or m a y t ea se t h em u n t il t h ey cr y. Sixt y-five per cen t of a bu ser s wh o bea t
t h eir pa r t n er will a lso a bu se ch ildr en .
10. “P LAYF UL” USE OF F ORCE DURING SE X: E n joys t h r owin g you down or h oldin g you
down a ga in st you r will du r in g sex, sa ys h e fin ds t h e idea of r a pe excit in g.
11. VE RBAL ABUSE : Con st a n t ly cr it icizes you , or sa ys bla t a n t ly cr u el, h u r t fu l t h in gs;
degr a des, cu r ses, ca lls you u gly n a m es. Th is m a y a lso in volve sleep depr iva t ion , wa kin g you
u p wit h r elen t less ver ba l a bu se.
12. RIGID SE X ROLE S: E xpect s you t o ser ve, obey a n d r em a in a t h om e.
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13. SUDDE N MOOD SWINGS: Swit ch es fr om sweet ly lovin g t o explosively violen t in a
m a t t er of m in u t es.
14. P AST BATTE RING: Adm it s h it t in g wom en in t h e pa st , bu t sa ys t h ey m a de h im do it or
t h e sit u a t ion br ou gh t it on .
15. TH RE ATS OF VIOLE NCE : Ma kes st a t em en t s like, “I‟ll br ea k you r n eck” or “I‟ll kill you ,”
a n d t h en dism isses t h em wit h , “E ver ybody t a lks t h a t wa y” or “I didn ‟t r ea lly m ea n it .” If h e
h a s com e t h is fa r , it is t im e t o h elp or get ou t .
U n i v er sa l P r ess S yn d i ca t e
Wh a t a re th e Th o u g h ts a n d F e e lin g s th a t Lo v e B rin g s U p ? Ch e c k o ff:
On th e p e rs o n a l le v e l: fea r , wor r ies, dou bt s, pu llin g a wa y, br in gs t o su r fa ce t h e pa r t of
on eself t h a t h a s n ot felt love
In a fa m ily : br in gs u p t h e t h ou gh t of t a kin g ca r e of ot h er s; bein g t a ke ca r e of; depen den ce
a n d in t er depen den ce; a t t a ch m en t a n d det a ch m en t ; fa m ily h ist or y
In a re la tio n s h ip : com m it m en t , m a r r ia ge cer em on y, r it u a l, r om a n t ic u n ion ;
In y o u r c o m m u n ity : peer in volvem en t , civic a n d lea der sh ip r espon sibilit ies .
Re g a rd in g y o u r ra c e , c u ltu re : h er it a ge a wa r en ess, a ppr ecia t ion , a ccept a n ce, gen der
J OU RN AL: Write a Lo v e N o te to Yo u rs e lf to Ac c e s s th e fo llo w in g : Wou ld you m a r r y
YOU? Wh o a r e You ? Wh y a r e you h er e- Wh a t is You r Sou l P u r pose? Wh a t a r e you r
st r en gt h s? Wh a t a r e you r wea kn esses? Descr ibe you r m ot h er ‟s a n d fa t h er ‟s r ela t ion sh ip?
Descr ibe you r s?
TAKE ALL OF THE TIME YOU N EED TO MED ITATE AN D J OU RN AL THES E
RES P ON S ES TO THES E CRITICAL QU ES TION S .
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MY PERSONAL BLACK LOVE DAY PLANNING SHEET
This year, wherever I am on February 13th Black Love Day, I plan to show within 24
hours, these 5 acts (tenets) of love by the following:
1. I plan to demonstrate love for the Creator by:
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______________________
2. I plan to demonstrate my self love by:
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______________________
3. I plan to demonstrate love for my family by:
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4. I plan to demonstrate love within my Black community by:
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5. I plan to demonstrate love for the Black Race by:
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6. I plan on continuing to increase my love vibration, beyond Feb. 13th by doing the
following:
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A SELECTION OF LOVE PRAYERS and
AFFIRMATIONS
Compiled by Darlene “Ayesha” Dancy
THE LORD ’S P RAYER
Ou r F a t h er , wh o a r e in h ea ven ,
H a llowed be t h y n a m e; t h y kin gdom com e;
Th y will be don e on ea r t h , for t h e h igh est
good of a ll, a s it is in h ea ven .
F or give u s ou r t r espa sses, a s we for give
ou r t r espa sses, a n d a s we for give t h ose wh o
t r espa ss a ga in st u s; a n d lea d u s n ot in t o
t em pt a t ion , bu t deliver u s fr om evil. F or t h in e
is t h e kin gdom , a n d t h e power , a n d t h e glor y,
of t h e F a t h er , a n d of t h e Son , a n d of t h e H oly Spir it :
n ow a n d for ever .
AL F ATIHAH
In t h e n a m e of GOD, t h e Divin e Cr ea t or , t h e Ma gn ificen t , t h e
Mer cifu l. P r a ises be t o GOD. Th e Ch er ish er a n d Su st a in er of a ll t h e wor lds. Ma st er of t h e
da y of J u dgm en t . Th ee do we wor sh ip. Th in e a id do we seek. Sh ow u s t h e r igh t wa y. Th e
wa y of t h ose on wh om t h ou h a t h best owed t h y blessin gs, n ot of t h ose wh o go a st r a y.
I be lie v e in GOD , th e F a th e r Alm ig h ty , Cre a to r o f h e a v e n a n d e a rth ;
a n d in J esu s Ch r ist , h is on ly son , wh o
wa s con ceived by t h e H oly Spir it , bor n of t h e Vir gin Ma r y,
su ffer ed, wa s cr u cified, died, wa s bu r ied, wen t down t o
h ell a n d exper ien ced a H oly Resu r r ect ion . H e a scen ded in t o h ea ven , sit s a t t h e r igh t h a n d of
GOD t h e F a t h er Alm igh t y. I believe in t h e H oly Spir it , t h e H oly An gels, t h e com m u n ion of
Sa in t s, t h e H oly Messen ger s, t h e for given ess of sin s, t h e r esu r r ect ion of t h e body, a n d
ever la st in g life.
AMEN
EL-S HID D AH-ELOHIM,
F a t h er GOD Alm igh t y wit h
a pu r e sea r ch in g h ea r t , a n d sin cer it y of m y pr a yer s,
plea se be wit h m e. Let , St . Mich a el t h e Ar ch a n gel (x3)
defen d m e in ba t t le, be m y defen se a ga in st t h e
wickedn ess a n d sn a r ls of t h e devil. Rebu ke h im I
h u m bly pr a y. O‟P r in ce of t h e h ea ven ly h ost , by t h e
power of t h e Om n ipot en t Divin e GOD of t h e
Un iver se t h r u st in t o h ell, Sa t a n a n d t h e ot h er evil
spir it s wh o pr owl a bou t t h e wor ld for t h e r u in of Sou ls.
Ar ch a n gel Mich a el, h elp gu ide m e t owa r d divin e spir it u a l
con n ect ion s t h a t a r e in t h e h igh est or der for m yself
a n d ot h er s.
98
F a th e r GOD Alm ig h ty , Giver of t h e life: t h e Spir it of t r u t h , wh o a r t in a ll pla ces a n d fillest
a ll t h in gs; Tr ea su r y of good t h in gs Com e a n d dwell in u s a n d clea n se u s fr om ever y st a in , a n d
sa ve ou r sou ls. O gr a ciou s Lor d.
I o ffe r y o u m y h e a rt , LORD GOD , a n d I tru s t y o u .
Don ‟t m a ke m e a sh a m ed or let en em ies defea t m e.
Sh ow m e you r pa t h s a n d t ea ch m e t o follow; Gu ide m e by
you r t r u t h a n d in st r u ct m e. You keep m e sa fe, a n d I a lwa ys
t r u st you . P lea se LORD, r em em ber you h a ve a lwa ys been
pa t ien t a n d kin d. F or give m e m y wr on gs wh en I wa s you n g. Sh ow h ow t r u ly kin d you a r e a n d
r em em ber m e. You a r e h on est a n d m er cifu l, a n d you t ea ch sin n er s h ow t o follow you r pa t h .
You lea d h u m ble people t o do wh a t is r igh t a n d t o st a y on you r pa t h . In , ever yt h in g you do,
you a r e kin d a n d fa it h fu l t o ever yon e wh o keeps ou r a gr eem en t wit h you . AMEN
F a th e r GOD Alm ig h t y , S p irit o f th e U n iv e rs e , be th e Ga rd n e r o f m y s o u l .
F or so lon g I h a ve been wa it in g, silen t a n d st ill-exper ien cin g a win t er of t h e sou l. Bu t n ow, I
da r e t o a sk: Clea r a wa y t h e dea d gr owt h of t h e pa st , Br ea k u p t h e h a r d Clods of cu st om a n d
r ou t in e, St ir in t h e r ich com post of vision a n d ch a llen ge, Bu r y deep in m y sou l t h e im pla n t ed
wor d. Cu lt iva t e, wa t er a n d t en d m y h ea r t , u n t il n ew life bu ds, open s a n d flower s.
Om n ip o te n t GOD , Ho ly S p irits o f th e U n iv e rs e ,
fill m y h ea r t wit h You r h oly gift s.
Let m y wea kn ess be pen et r a t ed wit h You r st r en gt h
t h is ver y da y, t h a t I m a y open m yself u p t o t h e
gr ea t er possibilit ies t h a t you O‟LORD h a ve in t en ded.
Use, m e LORD, t o fu lfill a ll t h e du t ies of m y st a t e
con scien t iou sly, t h a t I m a y do wh a t is r igh t a n d ju st .
F a t h er GOD, Alm igh t y t h a t r u les t h e Un iver se,
h elp m e t o kn ow a ll t h a t is Kin d, a ll t h a t is for givin g
a n d a ll t h a t is LOVE .
Let m y ch a r it y be su ch a s t o offen d n o on e, a n d h u r t
n o on e‟s feelin gs; so gen er ou s a s t o pa r don sin cer ely a n y
wr on g don e t o m e.
Assist m e, O‟GOD in a ll m y t r ia ls of life,
en ligh t en m e in m y ign or a n ce, a dvise m e in m y dou bt s,
st r en gt h en m e in m y wea kn ess, h elp m e in a ll m y n eeds,
pr ot ect m e in t em pt a t ion s a n d con sole m e in a fflict ion s.
Gr a ciou sly h ea r m e, O‟LORD a n d pou r you r ligh t in t o
m y h ea r t , sou l, m in d a n d t ot a l bein g.
Assist m e t o live a h oly life a n d gr ow in goodn ess & gr a ce.
AMEN
F a th e r GOD , S p irit o f th e U n iv e rs e , be th e Ga rd n e r o f m y s o u l .
Clea n ou t , O‟LORD, t h e in n er st r ea m of m y life: All t h e du plicit y, a ll
t h e a va r ice, a ll t h e fa lsit y. Sea r ch ou t , O‟ Lor d t h e h idden m ot ives of m y life: a ll t h e con ceit ,
a ll t h e a n ger , a ll t h e fea r . Root ou t , Divin e Ma st er , t h e dest r u ct ive a ct ion s of m y life. Ma y t h e
oper a t ion s of fa it h in cr ea se in ever yt h in g I a m a n d in ever yt h in g I do. AMEN
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LORD , LORD , OP EN U N TO ME
Open u n t o m e--Ligh t for m y da r kn ess. Cou r a ge for m y fea r .
H ope for m y despa ir . P ea ce for m y t u r m oil. J oy for m y sor r ow.
St r en gt h for m y wea kn ess. Wisdom for m y con fu sion .
F or given ess for m y sin s. Ten der n ess for m y t ou gh n ess.
Love for m y h a t es, Th y Self for m y self.
LORD, LORD, OP E N UNTO ME !
GOD o f a ll th in g s e v e ry w h e re , I pr et en d t o kn ow, Neit h er wh o t h ou a r t , Nor wh a t t h ou a r t .
F or t h er e is r ou n d a bou t m e so m u ch of won der , so m u ch of bea u t y. Th a t I ca n n ot believe
m y m in d a n d Spir it , E n com pa ss a ll t h er e is t o kn ow. Th ou , t o m e a r t Rea lit y. Th a t I ca n
n eit h er dem on st r a t e, n or see, n or u n der st a n d; Not per son a l, Not im per son a l. Yet , m or e r ea l
t h a n h u n ger a n d t h e da yligh t . So, ou t of m y own n eed, I lift u p m y h ea r t in pr a yer .
Kn owin g t h a t if m y pr a yer be r igh t a n d t r u e. It will be a n swer ed in pr a yin g. I sh a ll lea ve
t h is pla ce St r on ger beca u se I ca m e, Clea n er beca u se I P r a yed, a n d bolder t o ca r r y on t h e
wor ld‟s good wor k wh en I t a ke it u p a ga in . AMEN
TWEN TY-THIRD P S ALMS
Th e Lor d is m y sh epa r d; I sh a ll n ot wa n t . H e m a ket h m e t o lie
down in gr een pa st u r es; H e lea dt h m e besides t h e st ill wa t er s.
H e r est or et h m y sou l. H e lea det h m e in t h e p a t h of r igh t eou sn ess for h is n a m e‟s sa ke. Yea h ,
t h ou gh I wa lk t h r ou gh t h e va lley of t h e sh a dow of dea t h . I will fea r n o evil; for t h ou a r e wit h
m e. Th y r od a n d t h y st a ff com for t m e, Th ou pr epa r est a t a ble befor e m e in t h e pr esen ce of
m in e en em ies; Th ou a n oin t est m y h ea d wit h oil, m y cu p r u n n et h over . Su r ely goodn ess a n d
m er cy sh a ll follow m e a ll t h e da ys of m y life; a n d I sh a ll dwell in t h e h ou se of t h e LORD
for ever .
THE S EREN ITY P RAYER
GOD gr a n t m e, Ser en it y t o a ccept t h e t h in gs I ca n n ot ch a n ge, Cou r a ge t o ch a n ge t h e t h in gs I
ca n , a n d Wisdom t o kn ow t h e differ en ce.
AMEN
LAS T P RAYER B EF ORE MED ITATION
Ma y t h e Medit a t ion s of m y H ea r t , m y m in d, m y body be wh olly a ccept a ble in t h y sigh t , m y
LORD a n d m y Redeem er .
THE LIGHT OF THE D IVIN E CREATOR su r r ou n ds m e. Th e love of God en folds m e. I a m
h ea lt h y, wea t h y a n d wise. I h a ve a you t h fu l a ppea r a n ce a n d a t t it u de. I a m a divin e
in st r u m en t of ligh t t h r ou gh wh ich t h e h igh er dim en sion a l fr equ en cies of cr ea t ion flow t o ea ch
a n d ever y cell a n d fiber of m y t ot a l bein g.
B ECOMIN G A MAS TER OF D IVIN E MAN IF ES TATION IN THE WORLD for , a n d I
m ove beyon d t h e r est r ict ion s a n d lim it a t ion s of t h e t h ir d a n d for t h dim en sion a l r ea lit y . I ca r r y
t h e t or ch of God‟s ligh t . I r a dia t e t h e love of a n gels. H en cefor t h , ea ch a n d ever yda y, I dr a w t o,
t h r ou gh a n d a r ou n d m e m or e a n d m or e of m y per fect I a m pr esen ce of God.
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S p e a k , LORD , for you r ser va n t is list en in g. In clin e m y h ea r t t o you r wor ds, a n d let you r
speech com e u pon m e a s t h e dew u pon t h e gr a ss. Th is is h ow I pr a y, “Spea k, LORD, for you r
ser va n t is list en in g”. O‟LORD m y GOD, et er n a l Tr u t h , plea se spea k t o m e. If I h ea r you r
voice, m a y I n ot be con dem n ed for h ea r in g t h e wor d a n d n ot followin g it , for kn owin g if a n d
n ot livin g it , for believin g it a n d n ot lovin g it . Spea k t h en , LORD, for you r ser va n t list en s, for
you h a ve t h e wor ds of et er n a l life. Spea k t o m e t o com for t m y sou l a n d t o ch a n ge m y wh ole
life; in t u r n , m a y it give you pr a ise a n d glor y a n d h on or , for ever a n d ever . AMEN
THE LIGHT OF THE D IVIN E CREATOR S U RROU N D S ME . Th e love of god en folds m e.
E a ch a ct ion i t a ke is a n expr ession of t h e god for ce. E a ch da y is a da y of ba la n ce. Th er efor e,
ea ch a ct ion I t a ke is a pa r t of m y in fin it e cr ea t ivit y. I h a ve power fu l en er gy. I t r u st m y power ,
I love m y power , beca u se it is t h e power of t h e u n iver se. I a t t r a ct ot h er power fu l people wh o
love m y power . I a m et er n a l, im m or t a l, u n iver sa l, in fin it ely a bu n da n t a n d bea u t ifu l.
E ver yt h in g good com es t o m e effor t less. I a m open a t a ll t im es t o com m u n ica t ion fr om m y
in n er self, a n d t h a t com m u n ica t ion lea ds m e t o m y h igh est evolu t ion . I follow t h e en er gy of
m y h igh est evolu t ion a t a ll t im es, a n d so be it . I a m h ea lt h y, wea lt h y a n d wise . I give t h a n ks
for t h e bea u t y of ea ch da y, a n d m a y t h e en er gy of ea ch n igh t br in g r ebu ildin g a n d r eview, so
be it . Divin e cr ea t or , a n gels, gu ides a n d a n cest or s, t h a n k you for h elpin g m e ser ve m y h igh er
self. Am e n th e lig h t o f th e d iv in e c re a to r s u rro u n d s m e . Th e love of god en folds m e. I
a m h ea lt h y, wea t h y a n d wise. I ca r r y t h e t or ch of god ligh t . I a m a divin e in st r u m en t of ligh t
t h r ou gh wh ich t h e h igh er dim en sion a l fr equ en cies of cr ea t ion flow t o ea ch cell a n d fiber of m y
t ot a l bein g. I a m et er n a l, im m or t a l, u n iver sa l, in fin it ely a bu n da n t a n d bea u t ifu l. I h a ve a
you t h fu l a t t it u de a n d a ppea r a n ce. E a ch da y I a m becom in g m or e em power ed by m y Ch r ist
con sciou n ess a s it decen ds a n d t a ke dom in ion wit h m y body, m in d a n d em ot ion s. E a ch da y is a
da y of ba la n ce. Th er efor e, ea ch a ct ion I t a ke is pa r t of m y in fin it e cr ea t ivit y. I h a ve
power fu l en er gy. I t r u st m y power , I love m y power , beca u se it is t h e power of t h e u n iver se. I
a m becom in g a m a st er of divin e m a n ifest a t ion in t h e wor ld for m , a n d I m ove beyon d t h e
r est r ict ion s a n d lim it a t ion s of t h e t h ir d a n d for t h dim en sion a l r ea lit y. I a m open a t a ll t im es
t o com m u n ica t ion fr om m y in n er self, a n d t h a t com m u n ica t ion lea ds m e t o m y h igh est
evolu t ion . I follow t h e en er gy of m y h igh est evolu t ion a t a ll t im es, a n d so be it . E ver yt h in g
good com es t o m e effor t less. I r a dia t e t h e love of God, h is h oly m essen ger s, t h e a n gels a n d
celebr a t e h is divin e cr ea t ion . I give t h a n ks for t h e bea u t y of ea ch da y, a n d m a y t h e en er gy of
ea ch n igh t br in g r ebu ildin g a n d r eview, so b e it . Divin e Cr ea t or , An gels, Gu ides a n d
An cest or s, I give love a n d t h a n ks, t o ea ch of you , for h elpin g m e ser ve m y h igh er self.
H en cefor t h , ea ch da y, I dr a w t o, t h r ou gh a n d a r ou n d m e m or e a n d m or e of m y per fect I a m
pr esen ce of, t h e Divin e Su pr em e God. AMEN
I AM HEALTHY AN D HAVE A YOU THF U L ATTITU D E . I a m en er get ic wit h a zest for
life. I spa r kle wit h vit a lit y a n d t r ea su r e ea ch da y, livin g life t o it fu llest . E a ch da y I a m
becom in g m or e em power ed by m y Ch r ist Con sciou sn ess a s it descen ds a n d t a ke dom in ion wit h
m y body, m in d a n d em ot ion s. I a m a scen din g in t h is body, bu t will st a y on ea r t h u n t il m y
m ission is a ccom plish ed a n d m y dest in y is r ea lized. I a m a divin e in st r u m en t of ligh t t h r ou gh
wh ich t h e h igh er dim en sion a l fr equ en cies of cr ea t ion flow. I will fu lly a n d com plet ely live m y
per fect ed vision of h ea ven on ea r t h . E a ch da y, I AM
101
I AM ETERN AL, IMMORTAL, U N IVERS AL, IN F IN ITELY AB U N D AN T AN D bea u t ifu l.
Th er efor e, ea ch a ct ion I t a ke is pa r t of m y in fin it e cr ea t ivit y. I h a ve power fu l en er gy. I
t r u st m y power , I love m y power , beca u se it is t h e power of t h e u n iver se. I ca r r y t h e t or ch
of God‟s ligh t . I r a dia t e t h e love of a n gels. E a ch da y I a m becom in g m or e em power ed by m y
Ch r ist con sciou n ess a s it decen ds a n d t a kes dom in ion wit h m y body, m in d a n d em ot ion s. E a ch
da y, I a m becom in g a m a st er of divin e m a n ifest a t ion in t h e wor ld for m , a n d I m ove beyon d t h e
r est r ict ion s a n d lim it a t ion s of t h e t h ir d a n d for t h dim en sion a l r ea lit y. E a ch da y is a da y of
ba la n ce. I a m open a t a ll t im es t o com m u n ica t ion fr om m y in n er self, a n d t h a t
com m u n ica t ion lea ds m e t o m y h igh est evolu t ion . I follow t h e en er gy of m y h igh est evolu t ion
a t a ll t im es, a n d so be it . E ver yt h in g good com es t o m e effor t less. I give t h a n ks for t h e bea u t y
of ea ch da y, a n d m a y t h e en er gy of ea ch n igh t br in g r ebu ildin g a n d r eview, so be it . Divin e
cr ea t or , An gels, Gu ides a n d An cest or s, t h a n k you for h elpin g m e ser ve m y h igh er self.
H en cefor t h , ea ch a n d ever yda y, I dr a w t o, t h r ou gh a n d a r ou n d m e m or e a n d m or e of m y
per fect I a m pr esen ce of God. AMEN (St a t e you r Na m e) = LIF E
U N IVERS AL P RAYER F OR WORLD P EACE
In fin it e Spir it , br in g P ea ce a n d God Will t o a ll people. Dir ect t h e pa t h wa y of ever y Na t ion in t o
u n it y, h a ppin ess, a n d pr osper it y. Rem ove t h e t h ou gh t of h a t e be t u r n ed t o love; ever y t h ou gh t
of fea r be t u r n ed t o fa it h ; ever y t h ou gh t of dou bt be t u r n ed t o cer t a in ly; ever y t h ou gh t of wa r
be t u r n ed t o P ea ce. H ea l t h e wou n ds of t h e wor ld a n d br in g P ea ce u pon t h e fa ce of t h e ea r t h .
An d so it is.
LOVE: THE CREATIVE F ORCE
Spr ea d love ever ywh er e you go:
fir st of a ll in you r own h ou se.
Give love t o you r ch ildr en , t o you r
wife or h u sba n d, t o a n ext door
n eigh bor ...Let n o on e ever com e
t o you wit h ou t lea vin g bet t er a n d
h a ppier . Be t h e livin g expr ession
of God‟s kin dn ess in you r eyes,
kin dn ess in you r sm ile, kin dn ess
in you r wa r m gr eet in g.
-- Mo th e r Te re s a --
AKOMA AF F IRMATION
I Affir m Love in t h e Spir it of Akom a (t h e h ea r t ) I a m of Goodwill, P a t ien ce, F a it h fu ln ess,
F on dn ess, Con sist en cy, Love - Ay o Ha n d y Ke n d i LOVE S TATEMEN T
No on e fa lls in love by ch oice, it is by CH ANCE .
No on e st a ys in love by ch a n ce, it is by WORK.
An d n o on e fa lls ou t of love by ch a n ce, it is by CH OICE
- anonymous-
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LOVE IS P ATIEN T AN D KIN D
it is n ot jea lou s
or con ceit ed or pr ou d
Love is n ot ill-m a n n er ed,
selfish or ir r it a ble.
Love does n ot keep
a r ecor d of wr on gs.
Love is n ot h a ppy wit h evil,
bu t is h a ppy wit h t h e t r u t h .
Love n ever gives u p:
it s fa it h , h ope a n d pa t ien ce n ever fa il. B a s e d o n 1 s t Co rith ia n s
P RAYER OF S T. F RAN CIS
Lor d Ma ke m e a n in st r u m en t of you r P ea ce
Wh er e t h er e is h a t r ed. Let m e so Love.
Wh er e t h er e is in ju r y, P a r don .
Wh er e t h er e is dou bt , F a it h .
Wh er e t h er e is despa ir , H ope.
Wh er e t h er e is da r kn ess, Ligh t .
Wh er e t h er e is sa dn ess, J oy.
O Divin e Ma st er ,
Gr a n t t h a t I m a y n ot so m u ch seek t o be con soled a s t o con sole;
To be u n der st ood, a s t o u n der st a n d;
To be loved a s t o love;
F or it is in givin g t h a t we r eceive, it is in pa r don in g t h a t w e a r e pa r don ed,
An d it is in dyin g t h a t we a r e bor n t o et er n a l life. AMEN
GLOB AL P RAYER
We a r e on e globa l F a m ily, a ll Color s, All Ra ces, on e Wor ld Un it ed.
We da n ce for P ea ce a n d t h e H ea lin g of ou r P la n et E a r t h .
P ea ce for All Na t ion s.
P ea ce for ou r Com m u n it ies, P ea ce wit h in Ou r selves.
Let u s Con n ect H ea r t t o H ea r t .
Th r ou gh ou r Diver sit y, we r ecogn ize ou r Un it y.
Th r ou gh ou r Com pa ssion , we r ecogn ize P ea ce.
Ou r Love is t h e P ower t o Tr a n sfor m t h e Wor ld.
Let u s Sen d it Ou t NOW!
EVERYD AY AF F IRMATION S OR MED ITATION S
I a m expect ed t o Love m yself t h e wa y GOD Loves m e.
Be St ill, Kn ow t h a t I AM GOD
Lor d, gr a n t m e per fect pea ce….pea ce be st ill.
103
I AM SELF-LOVE AFFIRMATION
I AM P r om isin g Myself
I AM
so st r on g t h a t n ot h in g ca n dist u r b m y P ea ce of m in d.
I AM t a lkin g h ea lt h , h a ppin ess a n d pr osper it y
To ever y per son I m eet .
I AM m a kin g a ll m y fr ien ds feel t h a t t h er e is
Som et h in g specia l in t h em .
I AM lookin g a t t h e su n n y side of ever yt h in g
An d m a kin g m y opt im ism com e t r u e
I AM t h in kin g on ly of t h e best , wor kin g on ly
F or t h e best , a n d expect in g on ly t h e best
I AM ju st a s en t h u sia st ic a bou t t h e su ccess of
Ot h er s, a s I a m a bou t m y own .
I AM for get t in g t h e m ist a kes of t h e pa st a n d pr essin g
On t h e gr ea t er a ch ievem en t s of t h e fu t u r e.
I AM t oo la r ge for wor r y, t oo n oble for a n ger ,
Too st r on g for fea r a n d t oo h a ppy t o
P er m it t h e pr esen ce of t r ou ble.
I AM wea r in g a ch eer fu l cou n t en a n ce a t a ll t im es
An d givin g ever y livin g cr ea t u r e I m eet a sm ile.
104
Front cover of Mama Ayo‟s publication, PositivEnergy Newsletter, 1981
105
RESOURCES
Dr a ja MicKa h a r ic , “Spir it u a l Clea n sin g – A H a n dbook of P sych ic P r ot ect ion ”
Iya n la Va n za n t , “Ta ppin g t h e P ower Wit h in ”, “Act s of F a it h ” “F a it h in t h e Va lley, “On e Da y
My Sou l J u st Open ed Up”
Qu een Afu a , “H ea l Th yself for H ea lt h a n d Lon gevit y”
Abdu lla h Yu su f Ali, Th e Mea n in g of t h e H oly Qu r ‟a n
Th e Rever en d Ca in H ope F elder , P h .D, Th e Or igin a l Afr ica n H er it a ge St u dy Bible, Kin g
J a m es Ver sion
Ca t h er in e P on der , “Th e Dyn a m ic La ws of P r osper it y”
Sh a kt i Ga wa in , “Th e P a t h of Tr a n sfor m a t ion ”
St r a yh or n , Lloyd, “Nu m ber s a n d You ”
Au dr ey B. Ch a pm a n , “Get t in g Good Lovin g”
Rev. Ch r ist oph er D. H a n dy, Th .D., “Th e Sca r s of Ra cism ”
Min ist er Ga br ee Am la k, “Th e Afr ica n -Am er ica n ‟s Role in Am er ica ‟s Spir it u a l Dest in y – A
Met a ph ysica l P er spect ive”
Robin Deen Ca r n es & Sa lly Cr a ig, “Sa cr ed Cir cles”
Lois K. Alexa n der , “Bla cks in t h e H ist or y of F a sh ion ”
Ma lidom a P a t r ice Som e, “Rit u a l” P ower , H ea lin g & Com m u n it y
Dr . F r a n ces Cr ess Welsin g, “Th e Isis P a per s” Th e Keys t o t h e Color s
Ton y Br owder , “F r om t h e Br owder F iles”
Dr . Kwa ku Ofor i An sa , Associa t e P r ofessor of Afr ica n Ar t H ist or y, College of F in e Ar t s, H U,
r esea r ch on Afr ica n love Rit u a ls
W. Br u ce Willis, “ Th e Adin kr a Dict ion a r y, “
F r a n k Wills , “H ow t o Ma ke Love t o a Rea l Bla ck Ma n ” –
Dr Den yse H icks-Ra y, “Th e P a in Didn ‟t St a r t H er e”
Movies, “Th e Secr et ” a n d “Wh a t t h e Bleep Do We Kn ow”
For your next Holiday Celebration, Party, Festival, Wedding, Family
Reunion, Spiritual Service, Graduation or Gathering…
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MAMA AYO is the
KWANZAA GRIOT
Storytelling, Lectures, Performances
Workshops & Consultations
Educational/inspiring presentations that
make culture come alive!
Ayo Handy Kendi is the Founder/Director of the African American Holiday Association (AAHA), but as a storyteller and cultural presenter, she is lovingly called
“Mama Ayo”. Since 1989 she has delighted young and old as the Kwanzaa Griot. A “Griot” (pronounced Gree o) offers storytelling in the oral tradition of
Motherland Africa that are culturally based, filled with values, life’s lessons and history. As the Kwanzaa Griot, one story-performance tells the origin and “how
to” celebrate the African-American cultural holiday, Kwanzaa. Her other story favorites use African instruments, call and response or Negro Spirituals. Call AAHA’s
Educational Dept. to schedule The Kwanzaa Griot for your gatherings year-round.
Mama Ayo has been featured in the following media
Washington Post * Afro American Newspaper * Washington Times * Washington Informer *
The New York Times * Target Magazine * Upscale Magazine *
Bev Smith Show, syndicated * Tom Joyner Morning Show, syndicated * Power Point syndicated * American Urban Radio 300 national affiliates * Bob Law “Night Talk” syndicated
* WOL * WPFW * WJZY * WPGC * WETA * WEAA* Metro Network News
WHMM-TV-Evening Exchange * DCTV 25/26 * WUSA TV 9
* WUSA- Broadcast House Live * News Channel 8 * NBC News
Fox Morning News * CNN national * C-Span International *
Voice of America international broadcast to 22 countries
NOTABLE PERFORMANCES AND APPEARANCES
Life Style Expo - Radio One * Black Student Union - Chateam College, PA,
Black Voices for Peace MLK Mini Conference
Million Family March - National Mall
Black Expo USA * National Theater, Wash., D. C.
Juneteenth 2000 – Lincoln Memorial & U. S. Capital
Right to Health Care – U.S. Capital * French Embassy *
Fort Dupont Summer Theater * Ubiquity - Howard University *
African American Women on Tour, Wash., D. C. * Kwanzaa Holiday Expo, N.Y. *
St. Louis, Missouri Book Festival * Kappa Phi, Atlanta Georgia *
Fort Washington Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc. * West Virginia University *
P.G. Community College * American University * Black Love Ceremony -St. Louis
Capitol City Kwanzaa - Richmond, Virginia * Juneteenth Music Festival - Civil War Memorial
Ritual of Reconciliation – Roots & Gospel Festival, Benin, West Africa *
Martin Luther King Jr. Library – Black Studies Division * Imani Temple Church *
Mother’s Day 24-Hour Vigil to End the War * Science of Spirituality Center
Numerous schools, churches & community programs in Wash., Metropolitan area
AAHA EDUCATION DEPARTMENT PRESENTATIONS/RATES

STORYTELLING & STORY PERFORMANCES
1. Kwanzaa is a Holiday – AAHA’s premier story performance on Kwanzaa, the African
American cultural holiday of family and community”. The origin, history and symbols of
Kwanzaa come alive with call-and-response, rap, singing and drama with audience
participation.
A highly popular performance that delights young and old, which
encourages the daily use of the 7 principles beyond the 7 wholydays of Kwanzaa.
30 minutes Performance / 1 hour Performance and Lecture # 7
2. The Kwanzaa Griot Storytelling – African storytelling with
drumming, call and
response, playing African instruments and interactive play exposes young & old to their
cultural heritage. Chose from these favorites: (a)“The Talking Drum” on greed; (b) “The
Kingdom of Save & Spend” on recycling Black dollars; (c) “A Diversity Healing Story” on
racism and intolerance; (d) “African Musical Instruments” on cultural expression, (e)
“Nguzo Saba Stories” portraying the principles in the value system celebrated during
Kwanzaa and (f) “Black History Month – The Spirit of Freedom”. All stories are customtailored for specific age, event or gathering.
30 minutes Performance
3. Juneteenth: Freedom Day Songs – A story performance with 1865 period clothes and
Negro Spirituals that re-enacts the celebration of Juneteenth with the ending of slavery
for American Blacks. Facilitated discussion on modern-day effects of enslavement and
the Reparations movement.
30 minutes Performance/ 1 hour Performance with Discussion Facilitated
4. There’s a Cultural Message In Our Fashions – A story performance or lecture that
explores the African roots and African American contributions to fashion as seen today.
Defines culture and promotes self-esteem in the unique ways in which we portray our
Black beauty and style. Emphasis placed on spiritual symbols in fabric; cloth wrapping
of the head and body; body piercing, tattooing, and Henna dying; jewelry and
accessory adornment; and natural hair statements. Come dressed culturally and be
part of the fashion show.
30 minutes Performance / 1 hour Performance & Lecture
5. Rites of Passage Story – A story performance that explains “rites of passage” as an
African-centered ritual, cultural concept of growth and achievement as seen through the
eyes of a young villager, her family and her community.
30 minutes Performance/ 1 hour Performance & Lecture .
SELF-HELP LECTURES/WORKSHOPS
6. Black Love Relationship Lecture - A lecture/ demo/reading that describes the keys to
fulfilling relationships, from Mama Ayo, the founder of Black Love Day. Defines the
universal concepts of love and the importance of love, especially self-love as a healing
force. Gives the “how-to” of observing Black Love Day – Feb. 13th. Demonstration of
Ritual of Reconciliation.
30 minutes “Black Love Book” Reading / 1 hour Lecture & Ritual Demo
7. Holiday Lecture - Lecture examines the 4 major effects of holidays on people of
African descent. Introduces Kwanzaa, its origin, symbols and significance of the 7
principles. Introduces Black Love Day, Juneteenth, Malcolm X Day, MLK Day, African
American Women’s History Month, more. Examines rituals as positive tools to redirect
holidays for healing and self-help
30 minutes / 1 hour Lecture
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8. Youth Entrepreneurship – An interactive workshop that explores entrepreneurship
from a cultural/celebration perspective. Encourages use of holidays and celebrations as
opportunities for “Youthpreneurs. Translates the skills youth see on the street into the
language of business. Explores the principle of Ujamaa (cooperative economics) and
role-plays the importance of recycling Black dollars. Lecture introduces the concept of
entrepreneurship with story performance “The Kingdom of Save & Spend”, # 2(b)
1 hour Lecture / 3 hours Workshop
9. Shereos History & Empowerment Workshop – An interactive workshop that
encourages women to maximize quality lives just as other sheroes historically claimed
their power. Inner and outer dialogue, “conscious breathing”, visualization, rituals for
bonding and diversity healing. Great for Women’s History Month (Feb), International
Women’s Day (March) or African American Women’s History Month (April) or yearround.
1 hour Lecture / 3 hours Workshop
10. Holiday Stress Management Workshop – An interactive workshop using conscious
breathing, movement, visualization, meditative writing and discussion on stress, grief,
relationships, food and life-style management to experience the most positive holidays
ever with tools to be used long after the holidays. Ideal for individuals/groups in
workplace/ institutionalized settings to help reduce holiday seasonal absenteeism and
low-productivity.
1 hour Lecture-Demo / 3 hours Workshop
11. Rites of Passage Workshop - Facilitated workshop to assist in the organization of a
“rites of passage” program. Ideal
for groups, family or institutionalized settings.
Explains “rites of passage” as an
African-centered concept and practical solution to
growth and development for youth or adults. Continued monitoring of program or
introductory lecture w/story
1 hour Lecture / 3 hours Workshop
CELEBRATION WORKSHOPS/ TECHNICAL
ASSISTANCE
12. Cultural Decorating Workshop – Provides the “how-to” of cultural decorations for any
holiday/celebration/special event decorating theme, especially ideal for Kwanzaa, Black
Love Day, Juneteenth, Thanksgiving, Christmas, parties, weddings or family reunions.
Or have AAHA come and decorate for you as technical assistants or offer consultation.
1 hour Workshop or Technical Assistance Consultation
13. Holiday Fundraising Workshop – Explains the “how-to” of fundraising with African
American holidays. Great for non-profits, groups or individuals. Includes methodology
of fundraising; marketing & promoting techniques; group dynamics; grass-roots,
alternative fundraising ideas; soliciting funds and volunteer help; offers a list of African
American Holidays as great fundraising angles.
1 hour Lecture / 5 hours Workshop / Technical Assistance Consultation
14. Organizing Events Workshop Provides the “how-to’s” of organizing a special event,
march or holiday celebration with a marketplace theme. Includes conducting a feasibility
study of project developing a plan of action; finding a site; conducting site inspection;
developing a program timeline; soliciting volunteers, entertainment, vendors, exhibitors;
developing public relations/marketing campaign; developing fundraising plan; creating
an annual event plan.
1 hour Lecture / 5 hours Workshop / Technical Assistance Consultation
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15. How to Promote a Special Event – Workshop on the how-to’s of developing an
effective marketing, advertising and/or public relations campaign for products or
services, especially on a tight budget. Separate workshops can also be offered for an in
depth study of each method of promotion, public relations, advertising and marketing.
1 hour Lecture / 5 hours Workshop / Technical Assistance Consultation
16. How to Hold a Family Reunion or Create Family Reunion Newsletter – Everything
you ever wanted to know.
1 hour Lecture / 5 hours Workshop / Technical Assistance Consultation
RITUAL OFFICIATING / TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE
17. Kwanzaa Ceremony Officiating of the Candle lighting Ceremony at home, school or
public gathering, with explanation of Kwanzaa, the symbols and the 7 principles (Nguzo
Saba)
18. Ritual of Reconciliation Officiating of a ceremony of forgiveness, compassion,
atonement, public and private apology. Includes all symbols used in the ritual with
explanation. Ideal for conflict resolution or mediation sessions, diversity work, spiritual
or religious programs, institutionalized setting(s) or any personal/group healing work.
19. African Wedding Rites Officiating of the “Symbols of Life”, Jumping the Broom
Ceremony,
“MamaTotos”
(African-centered
baby
Showers),
Naming
Ceremonies. Includes historical and cultural explanation and involves audience
participation.
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AAHA PRESENTATION RATES, SERVICES &
PRODUCTS
AAHA’S Education Department offers most presentations and services at sliding rates
within the honorarium ranges listed below, according to ability to pay. All Honorarium Rate
Ranges are negotiable.
TO SECURE AAHA EDUCATION DEPARTMENT SERVICES:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Write or email AAHA to request educational department services.
Send in name of organization/individual
Location where service is to be rendered
Date and time proposed with 2 alternative(s) dates and time
Brief description of audience
PROPOSE RATE ACCORDING TO ABILITY TO PAY
AAHA is open to negotiation of all services. UNDER SPECIAL
CIRCUMSTANCES- Rates can be Waivered completely. Provide
explanation of circumstances when requesting rate waiver
8. AAHA will consider requests based on availably and consideration of
circumstances
9. DURING HIGH PEAK SEASONS (Kwanzaa, Black Love Day)
REQUEST SERVICES 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE OF DATE .
EDUCATIONAL PRODUCTS: Wholesale/retail
“The Black Love Book” - Black Love Poster - Black Love Cards - Black Love DVD
Malcolm X Tee Shirts & Art – Martin Meets Malcolm Print Art - Hereos / Sheroes Print Art
Kwanzaa Products – Buttons- Cards - Kwanzaa Symbols (Kinara, Candles, Unity Cup,
etc) Nguzo Saba Plaque
How A Family Celebrates Kwanzaa DVD
It’s Kwanzaa Time Story Performance DVD
Pledges for Mother’s/ Father’s Day, Graduation Christmas, Kwanzaa, Nguzo Saba,
Million Man/ Million Women
For the most positive holidays ever:
202-667-2577
[email protected]
www.AfricanAmericanHolidays.org
The African American Holiday Association (AAHA) is a 50l (c) 3, taxexempt, non-profit, membership, organization that perpetuates and
preserves culture through traditional and non-traditional holidays,
celebrations and rituals since 1989.
We appreciate your donations and support.
2. The Black Love Book
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ayo H a n dy Ken di is t h e F ou n der /Dir ect or of t h e Afr ica n Am er ica n H olida y Associa t ion (AAH A), bu t a s a
st or yt eller a n d cu lt u r a l pr esen t er , sh e is lovin gly ca lled “Ma m a Ayo”. Sin ce 1989 sh e h a s deligh t ed you n g a n d
old a s t h e Kwa n za a Gr iot . H er pr esen t a t ion s expr ess h er br oa d exper ien ces in t h e m ovem en t for h u m a n r igh t s,
ju st ice, socia l ch a n ge a n d wh olist ic h ea lt h .
Ayo H a n dy Ken di h a s a ppea r ed befor e t h ou sa n ds a s a Lect u r er , H olida y Au t h or it y, Br ea t h F a cilit a t or ,
E n t r epr en eu r a n d Wor ks h op P r esen t er . As a vet er a n Com m u n it y Or ga n izer , sin ce 1970, sh e h a s ser ved in t h e
coor din a t in g lea der sh ip of cou n t less m a r ch es, dem on st r a t ion s a n d ca m pa ign s, n ot a bly t h e Million Wom en ‟s
Ma r ch , t h e Million F a m ily Ma r ch a n d t h e Afr ica n Am er ica n H olida y E xp o, sin ce 1982. Sh e is t h e
Au t h or /P u blish er of “Positive E n ergy - M otivation al M essages from a S ister in th e S tru ggle”, “T h e B lack L ove
B ook , “T h e Pow er of th e B reath ” a n d a pla y, “A Day of With d raw al”.
Ma m a Ayo is a lso t h e fou n der of sever a l n ew, wh olyda ys (h olida ys) – Bla ck Love Da y (F eb. 13), a n d An cest or
H on or Da y (la st Mon da y in Ma y). As t h e vision a r y spokesper son for AAH A, sh e h a s led h er n on -pr ofit
or ga n iza t ion t o u se h olida ys, celebr a t ion s a n d r it u a ls t o pr eser ve cu lt u r e a n d em power cou n t less lives.
As A CTBF (Cer t ified Tr a n sfor m a t ion a l Br ea t h F a cilit a t or / Br ea t h ologsit /St r ess Ma n a ger , sh e is t h e CE O of
P osit ivE n er gyWor kst m , a h ea lt h ser vice of t r a n sfor m a t ive pr ocess, focu sed pr im a r ily a r ou n d br ea t h wor k.
Cr en dia t ia led a s a BA, Com m u n it y Or ga n izer , AA, H u m a n Ser vices, sh e is a lso spir it u a lly degr eed in
over com in g ch ildh ood a bu se, dom est ic violen ce, a ddict ion s, t h e violen t dea t h s of h er son a n d br ot h er . Sh e is a
gr a n dm ot h er of 5 a n d con t in u es t o ser ve a s a st u den t of life, love a n d posit ive e n er gy.
3. The Black Love Book