Heart to Heart

Transcription

Heart to Heart

The heart connection is our greatest
educational and parenting tool.
Heart to Heart
CONNECTING WITH YOUR CHILD
Heart to Heart is about conscious and conscientious childraising. It shares
inspirational and practical information to help parents and caregivers lessen
their stress and establish healthier communications with their children.
Heart to Heart speaks to thousands of parents who want to deepen the bonds of communication with their children. Delightful illustrations will invite thoughtful interaction between
caregiver and child. Busy moms and dads will find this book simple, practical, and immediately useful. I heartily recommend it. — Jane Nelson, Ed.D., author of Positive Discipline.
A little book that can make a big difference! Its messages are simple and clear. A truly wonderful gift for children and parents alike. — Jim Taylor, Ph.D., author of Your Children are
Listening: Nine Messages They Need to Hear from You.
A welcome addition for parents and caregivers of young children, with calming, friendly illustrations and text that gets right to the “heart” of the message. In our careworn days of living
so fast, we can all use the lessons of slowing down, taking time with others and dialing-in to
our feelings Heart to Heart reminds us of what really matters! — Bonnie Williams, Director,
Arizona Head Start Association
Jeff Goelitz is currently a program developer, senior trainer and
education specialist with the nonprofit Institute of HeartMath.
Elyse April, an early childhood educator, is the author of We Like to
Move, We Like to Eat Well, and other books in the Hohm Press/Kalindi
Press Family and World Health Series.
HOHM PRESS
Parenting / Communications
$9.95
50995
Jeff Goelitz & Elyse April
Illustrations by Laura Stagno
9 781935 387435
The heart connection is our greatest
educational and parenting tool.
Heart to Heart
Heart to Heart is about conscious and conscientious childraising. It shares
inspirational and practical information to help parents and caregivers lessen
their stress and establish healthier communications with their children.
Heart to Heart speaks to thousands of parents who want to deepen the bonds of communication with their children. Delightful illustrations will invite thoughtful interaction between
caregiver and child. Busy moms and dads will find this book simple, practical, and immediately useful. I heartily recommend it. — Jane Nelson, Ed.D., author of Positive Discipline.
A little book that can make a big difference! Its messages are simple and clear. A truly wonderful gift for children and parents alike. — Jim Taylor, Ph.D., author of Your Children are
Listening: Nine Messages They Need to Hear from You.
A welcome addition for parents and caregivers of young children, with calming, friendly illustrations and text that gets right to the “heart” of the message. In our careworn days of living
so fast, we can all use the lessons of slowing down, taking time with others and dialing-in to
our feelings Heart to Heart reminds us of what really matters! — Bonnie Williams, Director,
Arizona Head Start Association
Jeff Goelitz is currently a program developer, senior trainer and
education specialist with the nonprofit Institute of HeartMath.
Elyse April, an early childhood educator, is the author of We Like to
Move, We Like to Eat Well, and other books in the Hohm Press/Kalindi
Press Family and World Health Series.
HOHM PRESS
Parenting / Communications
$9.95
50995
9 781935 387435
Heart to Heart
The Family & World Health Series
HOHM PRESS
Chino Valley, Arizona
Heart to Heart layout2.indd 1
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© 2013, Jeff Goelitz and Elyse April
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without written permission from the publisher, except in the
case of quotes used in critical articles and reviews.
Cover Design, Interior Design and Layout: Zachary Parker, Kadak Graphics
Illustrations: Laura Stagno, www.laurastagno.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Goelitz, Jeff.
Heart to heart : connecting with your child / Jeff Goelitz & Elyse April ;
illustrations by Laura Stagno.
pages cm. -- (The family & world health series)
ISBN 978-1-935387-43-5 (trade pbk. : alk. paper)
1. Parent and child. 2. Parenting. 3. Communication in families. I.
April, Elyse. II. Title.
HQ755.85.G64 2013
306.874--dc23
2013004591
Hohm Press
P.O. Box 4410
Chino Valley, AZ 86323
800-381-2700
http://www.hohmpress.com
This book was printed in China.
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Dedication
For parents and caregivers whose love and role-modeling shapes
the hearts and minds of children.
Acknowledgements
Special thanks to Laura Stagno, our brilliant illustrator, whose sensitive and playful
characters have so beautifully reflected the essence of positive, heart-based adult-child
communications. Further congratulations to the whole Stagno family, as Laura’s first
child was birthed in synchronicity to the release of this book.
Much appreciation to Doc Childre, founder of HeartMath, whose inspirational ideas and
practical techniques have influenced many, many people.
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There is a different kind of listening that
helps parents and caregivers communicate
with children—listening to the wisdom
of our hearts.
When we listen to our hearts, we are
better able to connect with our children
and ourselves.
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Parents often feel overwhelmed from
working—at their jobs, or at home cleaning
and shopping—to support their family’s needs.
To help strengthen the connection with
children, take a few minutes from your busy
day to be fully present with your child. Slow
down and take a few deep breaths. Kneel
down so you can look into your child’s eyes
and softly ask, “How are you? What are you
doing? Can I help?”
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When children are upset or frustrated, ask
questions to help them solve their own
problems. “What things can we do to solve
this problem? What can we do to help?”
Inviting children to try solving their own
problems helps build their confidence,
creativity, and intelligence.
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When your child is having a hard time,
listening may be all that is needed to help the
child feel calmer and supported.
Listening is not fixing a problem. Listening
is a way of bringing two hearts together—
one can be struggling and the other can be
understanding and compassionate.
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Children learn by example. When we show
children how we care for ourselves or others
when feeling stress, they learn how to better
deal with disappointment and change.
The best way to care for ourselves or others is
to pause and listen to our hearts. What does
my heart say? What attitude or action can
help us deal with the problem?
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Sometimes children get scared by imaginary
things. We may not see, feel or hear what
they do, but our children still need our
comfort and understanding.
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Be smart when praising your child.
Don’t overpraise. The right kind of praise
builds your child’s inner confidence.
Praise your child for his or her effort
and hard work. Praise what you see.
“You worked really hard on that puzzle.
You must feel proud of yourself,”
instead of, “I’m so proud of you.”
“I appreciate how you helped clean the
table,” instead of, “You are such a good girl.”
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When you need to discipline children, they
will hear you better when you speak from
your heart rather than react with anger or
frustration. The feeling behind what you say
is as important as what you say.
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The “Shift and Shine” technique (described
on page 28) can help family members listen
more deeply when someone is upset.
This is a simple way to invite a child or adult
back into a heartfelt relationship.
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Having a heart-to-heart talk about what
you appreciate is a special activity to do
during the day or at bedtime.
Sharing something that you are grateful for,
even if it was a hard day, helps build
stronger hearts and minds together.
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Play brings joy to our lives! Sing, play games,
laugh, read or tell stories together. Play keeps
our hearts flexible and strong.
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When hearts are full, joy can surprise us
at any moment. Practice these habits daily
to help your family become closer and
create more love together.
It is just a heartbeat away!
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HELPFUL INFORMATION FOR THE PARENT AND CAREGIVER
Appreciation
Appreciation means to be sincerely thankful or grateful for someone or something. To add more appreciation to your
parent-child relationship, write up a list of 4-5 qualities that you appreciate about your child. Post the list on a wall so
you can review it daily. Appreciate your child’s actions when he or she does something well that is out of the ordinary:
“Thank you for helping by picking up your things,” or “When you laugh, it makes me smile.” Be honest and descriptive in
your appreciation, not phony. At bedtime, take turns sharing with your child some of the things you appreciated during
the day.
The Shift and Shine Technique®
To strengthen your own and your child’s experience of appreciation, practice the Shift and Shine Technique together.
Using the Technique for the First time
Parent asks child: Who or what do we care about?
First model an answer by telling your child who you care about. Then ask your child who they care about?
Ask: When you love or care for someone or something, where do you feel that love? Put your hand over your heart
(center of the chest, as a visible clue).
Parent asks: What is shift? ….. (child answers if he or she has an answer)
Then Parent can go on to say: Shift means to move or change, such as going from sad to happy or moving from one
place to another. Demonstrate the meaning of shift by shifting from one position to another.
Parent asks: Do you ever have a warm feeling in your heart when you feel love or care for someone? It’s kind of like
the warmth from the sun. [Give child time to answer before continuing.]Have you ever felt the warmth of the sun
on your skin? [Give child time to answer.] What does that feel like? [Give child time to answer.] When we feel love,
appreciation or care for someone, it’s like the warmth from the sun shining in our hearts.
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Step 1:
Parent suggests to child: Begin by putting your attention on the area around your heart or the center of your chest.
Parent: Model by putting your hand over your heart.
Step 2:
Parent instructs child: Now pretend to breathe in and out of your heart area. Take three slow breaths.
Parent: Model the breathing.
Step 3:
Parent explains: Think of someone or something that makes you feel happy, like your Mom or Dad or maybe a special place
that you visit, like a park. Feel that happy feeling in your heart and then shine that feeling to someone or something special.
Parent: Let your child experience the feeling for a few seconds. The length of time will increase with each experience.
Bedtime is one of the best times to practice Shift and Shine.
Making Shift and Shine a New Habit (optional depending on space)
To make this technique a new habit, practice Steps 1, 2 and 3 several times a day. In the beginning, it is easier to learn
the Shift and Shine technique when you are feeling calm and not stressed-out about something.
Here are some times during the day when you might practice Shift and Shine for 2-3 minutes.
Which ones will work for you?
• In between events
• At the start of the day
• Taking a mid-morning break
• After lunch
• Waiting in line
• Before going to sleep
• Before a stressful event or situation
• Driving in the car
For more helpful information, go to www.heartmath.org
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OTHER TITLES OF INTEREST FROM HOHM PRESS
CONSCIOUS PARENTING
TO TOUCH IS TO LIVE
The Need for Genuine Affection in
an Impersonal World
By Mariana Caplan
Revised Edition with New Material
by Lee Lozowick
Any individual who cares for children
needs to attend to the essential message of
this book: that the first two years are the
most crucial time in a child’s education and
development, and that children learn to be
healthy and “whole” by living with healthy,
whole adults.
Foreword by Ashley Montagu
Offers positive solutions for countering the
effects of the growing depersonalization of
our times. “An important book that brings
to the forefront the fundamentals of a
healthy world.’ − Patch Adams, M.D.
Hohm Press, Paper, $19.95, 336 pages.
ISBN: 978-1-935387-17-9
Hohm Press, Paper, 272 pages, $19.95
ISBN: 978-1-890772-24-6
PARENTING, A SACRED TASK
8 STRATEGIES FOR
SUCCESSFUL STEPPARENTING
10 Basics of Conscious Childraising
by Karuna Fedorschak
PARENTING
A Sacred Task
10 BASICS OF
CONSCIOUS
CHILDRAISING
Karuna Fedorschak
Highlights 10 basic elements that every parent can use to meet the everyday demands
of childraising. “Thank you to Karuna
Fedorschak for reminding us that parenting
is a sacred task.” – Peggy O’Mara, Editor
and Publisher, Mothering Magazine.
ISBN: 978-1-890772-30-7
8 Strategies for
Successful
Step-Parenting
Nadir Baksh,
Psy.D. &
Laurie Murphy,
Ph.D.
by Nadir Baksh, Psy. D. and Laurie
Elizabeth Murphy, R.N., Ph.D.
Becoming a step-parent, and “blending
of families,” is difficult work. The book
presents 8 strategies, in the form of action
steps, to maximize anyone’s chances of success in this endeavor.
ISBN: 978-1-935387-08-4
To Order: 800-381-2700, or visit our website, www.hohmpress.com
5/6/13 11:40 AM
ood health!
MUCH WE
Diabetes II.
ents to develop
a lifetime!
OTHER TITLES OF INTEREST IN FAMILY & WORLD HEALTH SERIES
WE LIKE TO READ
WE LIKE TO HELP COOK . . . HEALTHY FOODS!
Young children learn by watching and doing.
Even toddlers can often help out in the
kitchen with simple tasks … sometimes
much more than we expect.
This book encourages children and
adults to work together to prepare
and eat:
• more vegetables and fruits,
• whole grains
• low-fat milk products
• lean meats,
poultry, fish,
beans, and
healthy fats
and oils
A Picture Book for Pre-Readers & Parents
by Elyse April
All the children in this book are
helping to prepare healthy
foods — parts of the Healthy
Diet illustrated by the
USDA Food Pyramid. See
www.mypyramid.gov
We Like to Read
Illustrations by Angie Thompson
Marcus Allsop is a chef who cooks for a community of forty adults
and children. Diane Iverson has written and illustrated awardwinning children’s books. See www.dianeiverson.com
A Picture Book for Pre-Readers and Parents
Provides a new look at how to teach and
encourage reading by using play and “attachment parenting” — i.e., lots of physical closeness and learning by example. The upbeat rhyming format provides cues for parents and caregivers
on how to provide a foundation for reading while enticing children with
game-like activities.
HOHM PRESS
ELYSE APRIL • Illustrations by Angie Thompson
Children (ages 2-6) / Health and Nutrition
Kalindi Press, Paper; 32 pages; $9.95; (English) ISBN: 978-1-890772-80-2;
(Bi-Lingual) ISBN: 978-1-890772-81-9
WE LIKE TO EAT WELL
by Elyse April
We Like to Eat Well gives parents and their
children healthy and positive nutrition messages in an entertaining format. The illustrations capture the book’s focus and add a
lighthearted touch. Here is a book that parents and their young children will enjoy
again and again! — Judy Lee-Norris, MPH,
RD; Nutrition Program Manager, Community
Health Services for Yavapai County (Arizona)
Illustrations by Lewis Agrell
with a master’s degree
the picture book We
physical activity for
at the Sarasota Heraldn, have their own
s currently showcased
HOHM PRESS
Children (infants & up)/Health and Nutrition
$9.95
$9.95
We Like to
Help Cook
MARCUS ALLSOP
Illustrations by Diane Iverson
WE LIKE TO HELP COOK
by Marcus Allsop
Illustrations by Diane Iverson
All the young children in these brightlycolored picture are helping adults to
prepare simple, healthy and delicious foods.
Easy text, plus some rhymes, make the books easy to read, and appealing
to both kids and parents. Children help themselves or assist the adults by
performing many age-related tasks, like pouring, shaking, washing, mashing and mixing — actions that most young children love to do.
(Bi-lingual) ISBN: 978-1-935826-00-2
WE LIKE TO LIVE GREEN
by Mary Young
Design by Zachary Parker
What we eat is vitally important for good
health … and so is how we eat … where
and when we eat … and how much we eat
… This book encourages young children and parents to develop the healthy
eating habits that can last for a lifetime.
This Earth-friendly book introduces to vital
environmental themes in ways that will appeal to both young children and adults. We
can all recycle and reuse, conserve water or grow a garden! Lively full-color
photo montages demonstrate how to make a difference.
(Bi-Lingual) ISBN: 978-1-935826-01-9
Kalindi Press, Paper, 32 pages, $9.95; (English) ISBN: 978-1-935387-00-8;
(Bi-Lingual) ISBN: 978-1-935387-01-5
E LY S E A P R I L
Illustrations by Lewis Agrell
To Order: 800-381-2700, or visit our websites, www.kalindipress.com and www.familyhealthseries.com
5/6/13 11:40 AM
ABOUT HOHM PRESS / KALINDI PRESS
Hohm Press is committed to publishing books that provide readers with alternatives to the materialistic values
of the current culture, and promote self-awareness, the recognition of interdependence, and compassion. Our
subject areas include parenting, religious studies, women’s studies, the arts and poetry.
Kalindi Press, an affiliate of Hohm Press, proudly offers books in natural health and nutrition for children and
parents covering such themes as nutrition, dental health, reading, and environmental education.
Both Hohm Press and Kalindi Press contribute titles to the Family Health & World Health Series. Heart to Heart is
the latest addition to this popular series.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Jeff Goelitz is currently a program developer, senior trainer and education specialist with the nonprofit Institute
of HeartMath. He regularly consults with school professionals around the US to help improve classroom climate
and performance. Jeff has authored The College De-Stress Handbook, and developed many programs to improve
social and emotional learning.
Elyse April, MS (in Early Childhood Education, SUNY, New Paltz) since 2001 has devoted herself to advocacy for
children, by writing, lecturing, and promoting books related to health and wellbeing for children and parents. She
is the author of four titles in the Hohm Press/Kalindi Press Family and World Health Series.
VISIT OUR WEBSITES
www.hohmpress.com, www.kalindipress.com and www.familyhealthseries.com
5/6/13 11:40 AM

Heart to Heart

Transcription

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