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BLAB!
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Friday, March 21, 2008 3E
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POP CULTURE WITHOUT THE CULTURE
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“If one of my kids . . . said,
‘I want to be a movie star,’
I would be like, ‘Go to
your room.’ ”
Mary-Louise Parker in Us Weekly
LATE-NIGHT JOKE OF THE WEEK
“Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs says he’s going to start
a car service that will help drunk celebrities
get home safe. He says he’s tired of watching
celebrities get really drunk and do stupid
things like change their name to ‘Diddy.’ ”
Conan O’Brien, host of NBC’s Late Night With Conan O’Brien
GETTY IMAGES/BRYAN BEDDER
CELEBRITY TERROR ALERT | THINGS WE SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT THIS WEEK
GREEN
BLUE
Despite Internet rumors to the
contrary, handlers for actress
Kristin Davis say the Sex and
the City star is not appearing
in an online sex tape. But if
prim-and-proper Charlotte
ever did get funky on camera,
it would make a great column
for Carrie, wouldn’t it?
GOLD
After a load of online buzz that A-list actor
George Clooney would appear on the final
season of ER, the show that made him a star,
Clooney says he was never approached and that
the rumors are false. Blab! hears that a rough
draft script circulating through cyberspace —
featuring a storyline that has the docs trying to
bring Anthony Edwards’ Dr. Mark Greene
back from the dead — is probably a fake, too.
ORANGE
Xenu hasn’t got his alien mitts on Will
Smith just yet. Smith says he and wife
Jada Pinkett Smith are not Scientologists, despite being pals with spokescouple Tom Cruise and Katie
Holmes. He then pulled out a small
cylindrical device, took off his sunglasses and . . . wait, what was I talking
about?
BLAB! RED
Shia LaBeouf is in Dutch with the
cops again, this time with a warrant
issued for his arrest after he failed
to show up in court for an unlawful
smoking charge. Blab! hears that
when told of the news, Britney
Spears snorted and said, “Heck,
mah kids got three of them each.”
Speak of the devil: Britney Spears
was seen dining with Mel Gibson,
and sources say it’s not the first time
the actor has tried to offer advice to
the troubled singer. We suspect it’s
part of some new celebrity Big Brother plan, kinda like the drunk leading
the drunk and underwearless.
— Todd Camp
OH, ROB!
CELEBRITY SKIN
Is it live –
or is it
wax?
In some stars’
cases, only the
sculptor – or the
plastic surgeon –
knows for sure
Cameron Diaz, left, and Drew Barrymore: Wax or real?
And if Cameron is wax, how come the figure-maker didn’t
realistically depict her dancing in her underwear, like she
GETTY IMAGES/LEON NEAL
does in half her movies?
It’s time for a Blab! game, and we’ll
give you a freebie right off: That picture of Jim Carrey at immediate right
is actually a wax statute of the Horton
Hears a Who! voice star. Pretty convincing, right? Allllrigggghttty then,
let’s see if you can ace the rest of this
quiz about which pictures are real . . .
or not real.
Kevin Spacey: Wax or
real? Either way, to paraphrase his line from American Beauty, he rules!
GETTY IMAGES/
ETHAN MILLER
Mary Tyler Moore and former Dick Van Dyke
Show co-star . . . um, Dick Van Dyke . . . hang
out during a tribute to Moore in Los Angeles. No
truth to the rumor that Dick stumbled over an
ottoman in the Beverly Hilton Hotel lobby before
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the tribute.
PUNT, PASS,
KISS
Australian football player Jarrad Waite helps
Kiss’ Gene Simmons with his technique. Reportedly, Gene now wants to play Australian
Rules all night, and rugby every day. GETTY IMAGES
(Answers: Kevin Spacey —
real. Sarah Jessica Parker
— real. Cameron Diaz and
Drew Barrymore — wax.
Leonardo DiCaprio — wax.
Paris Hilton — real.)
Paris Hilton: Wax or real? No
fair saying, “She’s always plastic.”
You have to guess.
Sarah Jessica Parker:
Wax or real? And if this
is wax, does it weigh
more than the real SJP?
GETTY IMAGES/VALERIE MACON
Leonardo DiCaprio: Wax
or real? Method acting for
playing Howard Hughes in
The Aviator — or trying not
to sink in Titanic?
GETTY IMAGES/BRYAN BEDDER
RICCI SWITCH
GETTY IMAGES/ETHAN MILLER
That’s the thing about Jim
Carrey — even his wax
statue is hyperactive.
GETTY IMAGES/DAN KITWOOD
At left, actress Christina Ricci, more or less as
you’ve known her since she was a child actress all
those years ago. At right, Christina Ricci . . . um,
as Toni Tennille from the Captain and Tennille?
GETTY IMAGES
BIG HEADS
OF THE WEEK
The Onion
Wii video games blamed
for rise in effeminate
violence
News Biscuit
Parents concerned that
two-year-old isn’t texting
yet
The Onion
Novelists strike fails to
affect nation whatsoever
HERS AND
HISS
TWIN
PEEKS
Marcia Cross
doesn’t look like a
desperate housewife as she takes
twins Eden and
Savannah on a
stroll, but she does
look like she’s
leaning into that
push. (She probably
doesn’t weigh
much more than
the twins and stroller combined.)
BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM
Molly Shannon’s kids, Stella and Nolan, aren’t
twins, but we liked the headline. Don’t tell Molly,
though. She looks a little scary here, like she’s
gonna go all Edvard Munch’s Scream on the phoBAUER-GRIFFIN.COM
tographer.
Bindi Irwin, daughter of the late
Steve “Crocodile Hunter” Irwin,
shows off her new eco-friendly children’s clothing line. A snake demonstrates what’s hot in new skin this
GETTY IMAGES
year.
Blab! is written by Todd Camp and Robert Philpot, designed by Cheryl King