2011/2012 mirvish subscription theatre season new 6-show

E8
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TORONTO STAR
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SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2011
ON ON0
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2011
ON ON0
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TORONTO STAR
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E9
ENTERTAINMENT
STARGAZING
Snuggling, grabbing, hugging and clinging
POP GOES
THE WEEK
Fall is officially here and you know what that means: Putting on a sweater, drinking hot chocolate, reading a good book and cuddling up with a warm celebrity
BY MALENE ARPE
JASON KEMPIN/GETTY IMAGES
CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY
Gerard Butler just heard the news
that Arnold Schwarzenegger’s
memoir won’t be a real tell-all.
We’re sorry, but Celine Dion regrettably
does not have a table for you right now. But
she’ll take your name and if you’ll have a
seat at the bar she’ll see what she can do.
If Jennifer Garner can look this good after having personally
cooked a turkey and baked a pie to help launch some new ovens,
there’s no reason the rest of you can’t put on some lipstick and
some heels before serving dinner. A little effort goes a long way.
It must be a comfort to Madonna
knowing that, at 14, daughter Lourdes is
already prepared to take over the
contempt-based family business.
CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY
CHRISTOPHER POLK/GETTY IMAGES FOR FRIGIDAIRE
CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY
So now you know that Sofia Vergara
does not look like a boatload of gorgeous
all the time. This should make your life a
little more bearable. You are welcome.
UESLEI MARCELINO/REUTERS
Rihanna performs her brand-new hit, "I’m the only Girl in the World Who Doesn’t Have Cellulite and You’re Not."
M. BENETT/GETTY IMAGES
CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY
CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY
CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY
CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY
Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux appera to have entered the Public Displays of
Affection/Dress Alike/Taking Long, Pointless Walks phase of their relationship.
We’re going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume
that Britney Spears did not actually rob an actual bank.
It happened sooner than anyone thought it would. Experts have long
predicted that the most perfect photo ever would be taken July 16, 2017 and
that it would involve a kitten riding a shark. No one thought it would be this:
Ryan Gosling communing with a dog. Life is full of delightful surprises.
RICK DIAMOND/GETTY IMAGES FOR ACM
Taylor Swift cannot believe the fan got a tattoo of Taylor
riding a pink unicorn against an army of Orcs in waders.
CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY
ALESSANDRO GAROFALO/REUTERS
How to avoid Kreepy Karl’s lurking hand, by Silvia Venturini Fendi: A) Make
a fist. B) Look the other way. C) If all else fails throw yourself on the floor.
VTOE
SA
UP
40%
KEVIN WINTER/GETTY IMAGES
CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY
CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY
In case you need Josh Brolin for anything he’ll be right over here yelling.
Stephen Moyer will not show you
whether he has fangs in real life.
2011/2012 MIRVISH SUBSCRIPTION THEATRE SEASON
Sandra Bullock is smiling because
she’s secretly getting married or
because she got a new hat. Pick one.
Paris Hilton was supposed to
do 200 hours of community
service as a result of her
pleading guilty to cocaine
possession, but ended up doing
228 hours For some unknown
reason she felt excitable and
jittery and agitated and
sleepless and frantic, so she
thought she might as well go
pick up some highway garbage.
l John Travolta’s 1970
Mercedes-Benz got stolen
while he was visiting a Jaguar
dealer The fairy godmother of
vintage German luxury cars is a
strict and jealous mistress.
l Andy Murray says that the
top tennis players may strike if
the tough tournament calendar
doesn’t change Says Paris
Hilton: “No worries. I’ll play all
the matches. Against myself.
And I’ll fetch my own balls. And
man the concessions stands.”
l Pippa Middleton went to a
wedding wearing “unlucky”
green and strappy shoes, which
is “absolutely unacceptable for
a country wedding” Fortunately
for her, it’s 2011 so she will
merely be ridiculed and not
burned at the stake.
l Daniel Radcliffe admits he’s
never watched Star Wars
Fortunately for him, it’s 2011 so
he will merely be abjured and
not burned at the stake.
l Nick Cannon says that his
wife Mariah Carey is working
very hard to get her
20-year-old body back Right
now she’s busy recalibrating the
glitter on the time machine.
l Inhabitants of Jennifer
Aniston’s new neighbourhood
are upset photographers are
swarming the place Don’t they
understand that Jennifer needs
to have photos taken so as to
show Angelina Jolie that she’s
no longer lonely? Why are some
people such selfish haters?
l Marc Anthony cried onstage
after his fans sang “Happy
Birthday” to him during a
concert It’s amazing. After 297
years it still gets to him.
l Naomi Campbell’s millionaire
boyfriend builds her a house
shaped like the Eye of Horus
Do you hear that, Jennifer
Aniston’s neighbours: Things
could always be worse.
l Barry Manilow and Vince
Vaughn both support would-be
U.S. presidential candidate Ron
Paul No truth to the vicious
rumour that they’re both just
hoping for some choice human
wig hair once Paul makes sure
all the poor people die.
l Tom Sizemore, arrested on an
outstanding warrant this week,
claims it was all due to a
clerical error and that he
already did his community
service “And if not,” says Paris
Hilton, “I’ll do it! I’ll do it!”
l David Hasselhoff’s girlfriend
rejects two marriage proposals
Stacy Keibler, Michaele Salahi
and Buzz Aldrin’s new girlfriend
immediately voted to have her
ejected from the Gold Digger’s
Club for dereliction of duty.
l Cast member Taylor Lautner
says he was overcome with
emotion and cried while
watching the upcoming
Twilight: Breaking Dawn That’s
too bad. We hoped it would be
at least a bit better than Eclipse.
l
Possible explanations for this: A) Kanye West didn’t
understand the joke. B) Kanye West is too cool to show
exuberation in public. C) Kanye West is not really all
that interested in table tennis. D) Sienna Miller gets like
this every time she sees a good-looking married man.
SUZANNE PLUNKETT/REUTERS
Kristen Stewart manages to pull off
the exceedingly rare Celebrity Tongue
with Evil Stink-eye combo. Beautiful.
MICHAEL BUCKNER/GETTY IMAGES
MICHAEL BUCKNER/GETTY IMAGES
New category starring Jeremy Davis and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau: Guys who
Look like Brothers About to Saddle up and Chase Some Cattle Thieves.
When I’m not busy embroidering
personalized handkerchiefs for sad
celebrities, I occasionally blog at
thestar.blogs.com/stargazing.
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