Harold Looks Ahead The Good Doctor at MUS

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Coverage
Winter Sports
Wrap-up
The Golden
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Harold Looks Ahead
BY CHRIS MCDONALD
To the booming strains of the Black
Eyed Peas’ “Let’s Get It Started”,
Harold Ford, Jr., strode through the
jam-packed ballroom at the University
of Memphis Holiday Inn on February
20th to launch his official Memphis-area
campaign for the United States Senate. By locating the rally at University
of Memphis, a center for education that
is situated between a generally white,
affluent East Memphis and a
stereotypically black, disadvantaged
South Memphis, and by choosing a
group of Baptist, Presbyterian, and
evangelical ministers as well as prominent business leaders to join him on
stage, Jr. displayed, before he even
began his speech, that he both wants
to and is able to represent all Tennesseans to ensure that the government
works for the good of all Tennesseans.
By holding the event on President’s
Day, Ford created an atmosphere of
dignity that helped distance him from
the liability of the Ford family name,
which, thanks to his uncle John, has re-
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The Good Doctor at MUS
cently become synonymous with corrupt politics. He stated that he loves his
family, but that he is an individual and
asked to be judged on his own merits,
which include a decade of respectable
service in Congress, during which he
has earned bipartisan admiration as a
consensus builder.
Addressing the surprisingly racially,
politically, and socio-economically diverse crowd, Senator Barack Obama
of Illinois, a rising Democratic star and
keynote speaker at the 2004 National
Democratic Convention, opened for
Congressman Ford, pointing out that
Ford faced challenges similar to his own
by being the underdog candidate:
younger than his opponent and a black
man challenged by stereotypes in a predominantly conservative state. However, Obama concluded by predicting
that the constituents in Tennessee are
smart enough to see past stereotypes
and realize that Ford has all the capabilities required to represent all the
people of his state; with that, there was
an eruption of ecstatic applause that
CONTINUED ON PAGE 2
MEMPHIS UNIVERSITY SCHOOL
6191 PARK AVENUE
MEMPHIS, TN 38119-5399
U M B E R
Photo Courtesy of Andy Saunders
BY BRANDON PARRISH
On March 3, the 2006 MUST C
winter play, The Good Doctor, opened
in Hyde Chapel. After Friday’s hilarious in-school preview, my hopes were
high; when I finally saw the show that
night, it easily surpassed my expectations. Written by Neil Simon, The
Good Doctor is a series of vignettes
based on the short stories of Anton
Chekhov; Mr. Saunders directed this
production and made it a comical success. Even though I had been looking
forward to the originally scheduled
drama, The Philadelphia Story, the
comedy that replaced it was just as
good, if not better.
With Ed Porter’s inconsolable
sneezing and Peter Travis’s comic operations on his older brother, the show
nearly knocked me out of my chair.
Walter Klyce’s narration of the scenes
and seduction of another man’s wife
were outstanding. However, in a brilliant show of comedic genius,
Hutchison’s Louise Smythe stumped
him in a swirl of emotion and confu-
sion, turning the famous seducer into
“the former seducer of other men’s
wives.” Also, one of my personal favorites was Ed’s side-splitting performance as a sailor who drowned himself for sixty kopecks.
But, of all the amazing scenes in The
Good Doctor, the best by far were “A
Quiet War” and “The Arrangement.” In
the first, two retired officers (Ed Porter
and Danny Travis) battle at a park
bench over what constitutes the perfect lunch; in the latter, Chekhov’s father (Walter Klyce) takes his son (Peter Travis) to a prostitute (Mari Earle
of St. Mary’s) so that he may “become
a man.” Other cast members included
Jonathan Davenport, Hunter Edens,
Hutchison student Mary Claire Smythe,
and St. Mary’s students Amanda
Castroverde and Kathryn Owen.
I would like to applaud the cast,
crew, and director on a show well done.
The Good Doctor was definitely one
for the books; Personally, I’m already
looking forward to the next MUST C
production, Who’s On First?, directed
by Walter Klyce.
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Editors-in-Chief
Frank Jemison
Walter Klyce
Dear Aunt Fancy...
Dear Aunt Fancy,
As I was playing the Worst Case
Scenario board game, I came across
a trivia card I had never seen before.
It read, “Deep within the African
jungle, you find yourself in a dangerous predicament. To your left, armed
with hunting rifles are Dick Cheney
and his tipsy pals. To your right, a
war-painted Howard Dean shrieking
and mounted on top of his crazed Ted
Kennedy ready to charge.” I was
puzzled and flipped the card over only
to see that the solution had been
somehow erased. What would your
solution be?
Associate Editor
Peter Zanca
Technical/Layout
Editor
Roger Chu
Cartoonists
Clement Oigbokie
Zach Glover
Parker Joyner
News Editors
Jesse Mahautmr
Asst. Jonathan Yeung
Viewpoints Editors
Paul Yacoubian
Asst. Peter Travis
Sports Editors
Zach Kisber
Asst. David Shochat
Amusements Editors
Chris McDonald
Asst. Byron Tyler
Columnists
Preston Battle
Wilson Castleman
Blake Cowan
Zane Haykal
Farrell Varner
Jeffery Webb
Photographers
Jim Carter
William Harris
Andy Kim
Business Manager
Donald McClure
Faculty Advisor
Mr. N. Thompson
After returning from her two week
trip to Europe, Aunt Fancy was flooded
with over eighty thousand letters asking for advice. Fortunately, she agreed
to answer these two in exhange for Al
Kapone’s autograph.
--Lost in the Jungle
*Editors’ Note: Actually, that’s a
lie; Mr. Akin filled in yet again.
Dear Aunt Fancy,
I am a second semester senior. I have arrived at the season of my life that
every MUS student pines after for six years. Yet, in these months of utopian
sloth, … I …I …I can’t stop working. Never before have I stressed and worked
so much. Of course, I feign laziness, lounging in the halls, playing with bouncy
balls, doing Sudokus in class, and watching House of Wax three times a day,
but when I go home I feel …driven, by some unseen hand, to draw the blinds
and burn the midnight oil doing all my homework, including extra credit, and
then I wake up at four to do independent research on Faulkner and Kierkegaard.
I see seniors beginning to decay from sheer lack of activity while I am developing a stress induced stomach ulcer. I want to fit in and just relax. Help me,
please.
--On Pins and Needles
HAROLD LOOKS AHEAD
could be heard even out in the overflow rooms, where giant, live-feed
screens had been set up to accommodate the hundreds unable to fit into the
ballroom.
Following Senator Obama’s wellreceived introduction, a poised Harold
Ford Jr., who seemed both confident
and humble, was welcomed to the podium by another round of tumultuous
applause. After exchanging hugs while
waiting for the uproar to subside, the
candidate began by explaining that he
defies the stereotypes in which his opponents try to confine him, because he
Dear Jungle Fever,
The solution is to stand clear of the
fray. The Kennedy will charge on
through and Cheney will pepper him
with quailshot and sidemouthed epithets. The tipsy pals will then stumble
upon Dean, who will give a primal
scream and eat their faces. Either way,
you’re left as the voyeur with a perfect view to a kill. AirAmerica and
Fox News will both call you for comment, and you can work both ends of
the talking head circuit, you little media darling!
PS. Where do you get a
Kennedy? Does it make a good pet
for children? Will it go in my catbox,
or am I going to have to let it out in
the yard?
Dear Needie,
Don’t worry. You just need to hang
on for the senior prank. That event has
the magical ability to reduce an sizable group of otherwise impressive
young men to a single fleshy wad incapable of creativity for the sake of a
tired lawn display and eighth-gradestyle lock-in in the name of “terdition.”
Hopefully, this will be enough to lull
you into that blank, consciousless state
of mind you’ve been pining away for.
Lameness will be your best friend and
you will have arrived.
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1
has shown that he is dedicated to working on the national level, in a bipartisan
way that is increasingly rare, for all of
his constituents here at home. Ford neither focused on nor downplayed his
race, background, or party affiliation,
but asked for the privilege of serving
Tennessee because he is committed to
collaboration for the sake of creating a
government that is more committed to
the needs of the people. As Senator
Obama had expressed, “[Ford] thinks
the government can help. He doesn’t
think that it will solve all your problems,
but he thinks it can be better.”
For all of his upbeat and positive
words, Ford was not afraid to speak
strongly against a Commercial Appeal
article, in which a reporter expressed a
concern that there may not be ‘room
enough in the Senate for two such similar
men as Ford and Obama.’ The candidate, while acknowledging that the
media “tries its best,” stated that it is
“asinine” to suggest that he and Obama
are competing for one unique position
in the U.S. Senate. If his campaign continues to go as successfully as it did at
the launch, Ford will have a good shot
at becoming a U.S. Senator in 2006.
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A Fulfilling Season for MUS Mock Trial Teams
BY ROBERT DUFFLEY
Every winter, an intrepid group of
MUS students bands together to compete in the Memphis-Area Mock Trial
Competition, and this year was no exception. As usual, our school fielded
two teams this season, a Red team and
a Blue team; this year, however, the
team captain (Walter Klyce) decided
to experiment with a new strategy and
created two equally balanced teams,
rather than splitting them into the standard “Varsity” and “JV” divisions.
Sophomores Peter Travis and Michael
Stein joined Walter as attorneys on the
Red team, while Cliff Jones and Erim
Sarinoglu rounded out the Blue team’s
lawyers.
In addition, each team is allowed to
call three witnesses per side. For the
Plaintiff witnesses, the Red team employed David Morelli, Hunter Edens,
and Ed Porter, while the Blue team
called upon Preston Battle, Wesley
Shannon, and Austin Beckford. On the
Defendant’s side, the Red team enlisted
Chris McDonald, Robert Duffley, and
Ken Haltom, and the Blue team used
Mike Montesi, Alexander Fones, and
John Carr.
To prevail in a case, the attorneys
must win over the jury during the opening statements, support their case using
direct examinations, protect their witnesses from opposing counsel during
cross examination, refute the other
side’s argument, and provide a compelling and decisive closing statement.
The most challenging part of being a
lawyer is the difficulty of preparing both
arguments, since each team must represent a different side every night. The
lawyers more or less conduct the trial
and control its flow by objecting to violations of the Mock Trial rules.
Meanwhile, the witness’s job, in
addition to answering each side’s questions, is to come up with an interesting
persona for his character; in some
cases, this required wearing a dress.
From the MUS teams, Preston Battle,
Mike Montesi, and John Carr all discovered their “feminine side” by testifying in drag. Mike and Chris McDonald
each played the defendant, a bus driver
named Kris Harris who was accused
of negligently running into the pedestrian plaintiff, Dale Evans (as played by
Preston and David Morelli).
The first round of the tournament is
double elimination, which means that
each team represents both sides and
the team with the better overall score
advances. Although the Blue team effortlessly defeated their first-round opponent City University on both nights,
the Red team suffered a heart-breaking initial loss to the St. Mary’s B team.
The following night, however, they made
a startling comeback as the Defendant
(with a fantastic performance from Best
Witness Chris McDonald) and vanquished St. Mary’s; unfortunately, they
went on to lose to Germantown in a
very tough second-round match. Meanwhile, the Blue team pulled out a close
win over Westminster, but also went on
to defeat at the hands of Germantown;
nevertheless, they pulled
Although Mock Trial requires a great
deal of work and time, it is an activity I
highly recommend, especially to those
with an interest in litigation as a career.
We had a tough season this year, but
fun was still had by all, and Captainelect Erim Sarinoglu is looking to win
the city next year. The MUS team would
like to thank its Ms. Crosby, Mr.
Montesi, Mr. Robinson, and Mr.
Humphreys for their guidance and dedication.
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Excitement in the NCAA
BY OWEN MERCER
With the conclusion of the 20052006 college basketball regular season,
several questions remain.
First, who will win player-of-theyear honors, J.J. Redick of Duke or
Adam Morrison of Gonzaga? This
year’s battle for POY is the tightest and
most exciting race since Larry Bird and
Magic Johnson faced off in 1979. To
answer this question, one cannot rely
solely on each player’s stats because
Photo Courtesy of JJRedick.net
they are virtually the same. Redick avDuke Senior J.J. Redick puts up
another three
erages 27.8 points-per-game to
Morrison’s 28.6, and Morrison shoots freshman and sophomores as their pri50.4% to Redick’s 48%. To figure out mary contributors. Other than senior
Rodney Carney, eight sophomores and
freshmen make up the Tigers’ rotation,
with each player averaging over ten
minutes per game. However, many college basketball enthusiasts believe that
this youth will hurt Memphis in the
postseason. Also, some fear that
Coach Calipari may get out-coached
by the opposition. The two most important factors for the Tigers’ success
will be their defense and their ability to
get quality shots. If the Tigers settle for
three-pointers all game, they could find
themselves on the downside of an upPhoto Courtesy of set. If they find a good balance beUSABasketball.com
Owen’s pick for Player of the tween the inside and outside game, they
Year: Gonzaga’s Adam Morrison could find their way to Indianapolis.
Of course, the final and most imwho should be player of the year, one
must look at which player matters more portant question is who will win the
to their team. Redick is the undeniable NCAA Tournament? My pick is Duke.
leader of the Blue Devils, but without Even though they lost twice in the final
him, Duke would still be a top-10 team week of the regular season, the veteran
because they have players like Shelden leadership of J.J. Redick and Shelden
Williams, Sean Dockery, and Greg Williams should carry the Blue Devils
Paulus to back him up. Gonzaga, on through the tournament and will be the
the other hand, would have a much deciding factor in close games. Other
tougher time without Morrison, who contenders for the title include Consometimes provides half their points. So necticut, Villanova, Texas, and Boston
the answer is that Adam Morrison of College. It would not be surprising to
Gonzaga should be the 2005-2006 see a rematch of the 1999 championship game as Duke and Connecticut
Player of the Year.
Another question is how far will advance to the title game. Of course,
Memphis advance in the NCAA Tour- with arguably the best tournament field
nament? The Tigers have had an ex- ever, there is no telling who will make it
traordinary season despite playing to the Final Four.
Winter Olympic “Sports”
BY ROBERT THRELKELD
The Winter Olympics is a time for
fun and healthy competition between
nations. Unfortunately, it is also a time
for obscure “sports” and globally televised failures. Numero uno on my list
of Olympic disappointments comes
from the icy world of bobsledding.
Switzerland was about to make their
final run when suddenly I thought,
“where’s Jamaica, man?” I was disgusted when I found that my favorite
third world, tropical island nation was
not the bobsled powerhouse I grew up
thinking it was, but instead, a Rastafailure that did not even qualify for the
Olympics. Thanks a lot, Cool Runnings.
Next on my list is Curling, a “sport”
where “athletes” throw blocks of granite on the ice at … um… well actually I
fell asleep while I was trying to discern
the object of this “sport”. Apparently it
is similar to shuffleboard, but all I know
is that each team is primarily composed
of “sweepers”, who, during the off-season, probably work as janitors.
Number three is the biathlon; a skiing/rifle shooting sport that enjoys extreme popularity… in the tiny country
of Estonia. Like curling, this sport
seems to have been created on a dare,
because, unless you are James Bond in
For Your Eyes Only, there simply isn’t
a logical connection between the heartthrobbing action of cross-country skiing and shooting.
The last major disappointment that
occurred at Turin concerns the overhyped, under-performing U.S. skier,
Bode Miller. First, what kind of hippie
name is Bode? Second, if Nike sponsors you, you have your own commercial series espousing your outlook on
life (“Bodeism”), and you’ve been on
the front covers of both Newsweek and
Time, you must bring home some hardware! I’m sure Nike loves the part
about how you didn’t finish two of your
races, got disqualified from another;
then when you do finish your races you
don’t get first or second, no, you come
in fifth and sixth. Sponsoring Tiger
Woods and Michael Jordan were good
calls by the boys at Nike, but sponsoring a guy who lives out his “winning isn’t
everything” philosophy on the international stage? That’s not why you get the
big bucks.
Well there you have it folks. The
2006 Winter Olympics are long over,
but the confusion and humiliation remain. No one knows what the
Vancouver games will bring; I suggest
if you have a lucky egg, kiss it.
Photo Courtesy of NBCOlympics.com
The biathlon is the most ridiculous sport since curling
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Aquatic Owls Splash Around at State
BY BYRON TYLER
The MUS Varsity Swim team has
grown and competed well again this
year. Although they remain in athletic
obscurity, this year’s spirited swimmers
have demonstrated themselves to be
one the most competitive swim teams
that MUS has had since the Owls first
took the plunge.
A few weeks ago the MUS Varsity
Swim team finished off the state swim
season with an excellent performance
at the State Meet in Nashville on February 24th and 25th, posting a 54-16
season record and a second-place finish at the Shelby County High School
Championships, held earlier in the season. This silver finish, behind a consistently strong Christian Brothers team,
in the county meet matches the team’s
high water mark at the county level.
Every single MUS swimmer that en-
tered the County Meet scored points.
Also, the Aquatic Owls placed an impressive third place during its second
appearance in the Germantown Winter
Invitational. All these high finishes and
rankings throughout the season were the
results of a team effort, which is increasingly rare in high school swimming.
Just as impressive as the team efforts were the individual accomplishments that were responsible for breaking many of the school’s records. At
the State Meet, the 200-yard Medley
Relay Team broke last year’s MUS
record by almost a second, and individual records were set by Dex Witte,
who shattered the five year old 500yard freestyle record by almost five
seconds, and Jon Mitchell, who reset
the 100-yard breaststroke record for
the second time this year. Five other
MUS swimmers posted their personal
best times at the State Meet.
The Varsity team has also built up
very impressive stats for state and
county qualifying times. Every MUS
swimmer had at least two county qualifying times, and nine swimmers made
state cuts, combining to a total of over
200 county cuts and 20 state cuts,
which are both school records. With
thirty-four swimmers in the water this
year, the MUS swim team was the largest team in the county and was also the
largest team MUS has ever had.
Looking back, the swim team has
been constantly improving in competition and its participation from season
to season. Although the team will suffer
the loss of six seniors next year, the
progress of this year’s MUS swim team
makes next season look hopeful. Next
year, the Aquatic Owls will surely challenge its competitors, especially CBHS.
Dramatic Conclusion to Basketball Season
BY NAVEED MIRZA
MUS began the season with a blowout win over Catholic, setting an MUS
record for most points scored in a
game. The team entered the Illinois
Holiday Tournament with a 7-2 record.
With a 2-2 record in that tournament,
we headed back to Memphis and won
our next two games over Catholic and
Lausanne and entered league play at
11-4.
League play began what seemed
like a brand-new, more challenging, and
more competitive season. Our first
game was a huge 9-point win over
Harding, and next we overwhelmed
Lighthouse Christian. We lost three
straight against young CBHS and
Briarcrest teams and also to a dominant ECS to spoil Homecoming. After
going through one round of league play,
our record was now 14-7 and 2-3 in
the league.
The second round commenced with
a loss to Harding at home. Then we
played a thrilling overtime game at
CBHS, which unfortunately ended in
defeat following a controversial foul, but
we gained confidence after arguably our
best game of the year so far. The third
and final game without both seniors was
a blowout loss at ECS, which put the
ever-elusive 4th seed in the large school
division nearly out of reach. We had to
win the next two league games against
SBA and Briarcrest to solidify that ranking. At the end of the regular season,
our record had swelled to 17-10 and
4-6.
In the Regional Tournament, we
were the 4th seed from large schools
and the 5th seed. We defeated SBEC
and survived a scare from Elliston for
the right to play ECS in the semifinals.
We lost a close game to them, but we
still had another shot to make it to the
State Tournament in the Third-Place
game against CBHS. Coach Peters
gave us three goals for us to pursue: a
20-win season, a win over CBHS for
the first time this season, and a trip to
state. Playing the Brothers at full
strength for the first time, we emerged
victorious having accomplished all three
goals.
The third-place win in the Regional
Tournament granted us a date with the
#1 seed coming from Middle Tennessee and the #1 seed overall, Brentwood
Academy. We organized a different
defense for them, concentrating on their
two best players: Josh Bone and Brandon Wright. We fought well in the first
half, jumping out to a 17-14 lead after
the 1st quarter, but we went into the
locker room at halftime down 25-20
to nationally ranked Brentwood. In the
second half came, they blew the game
wide open; we lost 65-48, but we felt
proud of how we prepared for them
and played against them in the opening
minutes.
On behalf of the players and
coaches, thank you for your undying
support throughout the season, particularly against Brentwood, because those
really aren’t girls.
The Wrestlers
BY CAMERON “JANSEN” RIDGWAY
With the loss of four starting seniors
to college as well as the loss of Coach
Milner to the Army Rangers, this year’s
wrestling team looked to begin anew.
Led by Coach Gehres, Coach Knaff,
and captains Mason George, Andrew
Gordon, and Zach Gordon. After a
slow start due to the late entrance of
the football players and various injuries
the owls began their season in earnest
after the Christmas break. Throughout
the season, the starting line-up was
composed of five seniors, four juniors,
two sophomores, four freshmen, and
one eighth-grader. The owls finished the
regular season with a team record of
eight wins and three losses.
Having won every division match
except for a close loss to CBHS, the
wrestling owls entered the regional tournament a second seed and after defeating Harding and staging a strategic loss
to the Brothers, emerged, yet again,
with a second place regional finish. This
silver finish allowed MUS to attend the
State Dual tournament for the fifth
straight year. There the Owls faced
tough teams from eastern and middle
Tennessee but wrestled well nonetheless. The Varsity Wrestling Team ended
the 2005-2006 season in Chattanooga
with state individuals. Coach Gehres
was happy with four owls bringing back
hardware: Andrew Gordon (6th at 275),
Barret Folk (5th at 103), Zach Gordon
(4th at 171), and Mason George (3rd at
189).
The wrestling team continues to grow
each year. The team will lose quite a
few seniors this year, but as this year’s
team proved, lower classmen can stepup to fill the void. The team will have
great leadership in this years juniors,
which include co-captain Zach Gordon
(171), Ben Stallworth (215), Miles
DeBardeleben
(160),
Mac
McCormack (130), and Chris Mullins
(125). The Owls are looking forward
to another great season next year.
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A Title for Tommy
BY STEPHEN MARODA
The 2006 Regions Morgan Keegan
Championships, held at the Racquet
Club of Memphis, had many surprises,
like snow and ice, top seeds losing early,
a pair of women’s doubles partners
both younger than most of the ballkids,
and a Croatian giant named Ivo.
Photo Courtesy of APTennis.com
Ivo Karlovic and Chris Haggard,
the men’s doubles champions
Though the cold weather and accompanying snow stopped many fans
from attending, the tournament qualifing
matches continued. The women’s
singles tournament began on Sunday,
while the men’s did not begin until Monday. Following the conclusion of the first
round, only three out of the eight seeded
players remained in the men’s draw, and
only six out of the eight seeded players
in the women’s draw survived the first
round. Nicole Vaidisova, a sixteenyear-old phenomenon and the women’s
number one seed, was one of those two
women to lose in the first round. On
the men’s side, past Memphis champions Tommy Haas and Andy Roddick
were both able to advance to the
quarterfinals; however, Andy Roddick
then lost to Julien Benneteau, one of
the many qualifiers who played exceptionally well in this tournament. In the
men’s final, Tommy Haas easily defeated Robin Soderling, 6-3, 6-2, to
claim the Memphis title once again. In
the women’s final, the number three
seed, Sofia Arviddson, beat Marta
Domachowska to win her first Mem-
phis singles title.
The men’s and women’s doubles
tournaments, as well as the strawberry
smoothies in the food court, are what
kept me coming to the Racquet Club
day after day. The women’s doubles
final featured a match up between a
team of young, attractive foreigners;
Caroline Wozniacki of Denmark and
Victoria Azarenka of Belarus, against a
team of powerful veterans, Lisa
Raymond and Samantha Stosur. The
veterans prevailed, but not without a
fight. On the men’s side of the doubles
tournament, a new doubles team
emerged as the dominant force to be
reckoned with. No, this dynamic duo
was not superstars James Blake and
Mardy Fish or brothers Mike and Bob
Bryan, this classy squad consisted of
Chris Haggard, a feisty 5’10’’ South
African, and Ivo Karlovic, a 6’10’’ giant from Croatia. Despite the size difference, Chris and Ivo, a.k.a. “The
Croatian Elevation”, massacred their
opponents with a combination of enormous serves and unyielding determination. The duo demonstrated both of
these fine qualities in their stunning 0-6,
7-5, 10-5 (Match Tiebreak) come from
behind win over the crowd favorites
Blake and Fish. The Karlovic and Haggard doubles victory capped off a surprising, yet very entertaining week at
the Regions Morgan Keegan tennis
tournament.
Spring Sports Preview
BY ANDREW JEHL, JEFFREY WEBB,
BEN WALLER, AND S. THOMPSON
Track
The MUS track team promises to
build on the success of last year’s regional championship and fourth-place
finish at the state meet. Coach Alston
assures that the team is already working hard and that all areas look strong.
The distance squad, which won state
runner-up honors in cross country, is
looking particularly talented. Meanwhile, the sprinting and field events
seem to be making strides as well.
Meanwhile, the throwers and jumpers are returning most of their top guys,
so there is great potential for scoring
points there. Perhaps the largest obstacle for the team to overcome is a
season on the road, with construction
making it impossible to have any home
meets. Of course, Coach Alston is very
optimistic, and in his usual talkative
manner, asserted that “It’s a nice team,
if everything pulls together right.” He
has high hopes and sees a top three finish
at state as a very realistic goal.
Soccer
Coach Beck’s squad is getting ready
for a new season, and the team is looking impressive. The Owls will benefit
from the return of fifteen experienced
seniors and a solid number of promising juniors. When asked about the
team’s chances this year, senior
standout Brian Evans merely cackled
menacingly and swaggered off. Coach
Vincent Beck, not quite as confident,
said that the success of the team will
depend on “how well the players gel.”
The Owls’ task will not be easy. The
ever threatening CBHS squad, usually
the favorite to win state, benefits from
many strong juniors from just about
every club team in the city. Also, teams
such as Houston and ECS will continue
to challenge the Buzzards.
Regardless of their opponent, the
Owls are confident that they are up to
Photo Courtesy of APTennis.com the task. Senior David Shochat reTennis Champion Tommy Haas marked that the team is very strong this
year and it would be great to have sizable student sections at the games, especially since many seniors will have
free time late in the season.
Baseball
The MUS Diamond Owls’ 2005
season was one of the best in school
history, as the team posted the best
record since 1992. Among many individual triumphs, the team defeated the
CBHS powerhouse for the first time in
school history at a memorable game in
Autozone Park and beat Germantown
for only the second time ever. The 2006
season, however, promises to be even
more successful than the last. Although
the Owls have an extremely challenging schedule, including opponents such
as perennial state powers Knoxville
Farragut, Houston, and CBHS all
within their first ten games, the team has
the talent and potential to be one of the
top contenders for the regional title and
even the state championship. The pitching staff will be led by returning varsity
pitchers Michael Park and Tyler
Massey. In 2005, Park had the third
best ERA in school history at 1.17 and
second most wins (8-1) and is looking
to be even more successful this year.
The offense will be led by Max Prokell,
who had five Home Runs last year
(second most in school history), and
fellow seniors such as Donnie Malmo
and All-District catcher Zack Rutland.
Hopefully these players, along with seniors Will Sandlin, Sam Coates, and
John Hensley, will lead the 2006 Diamond Owls to their first state championship.
Tennis
The MUS tennis dynasty is unrivaled by any school in any sport in the
state of Tennessee. This year’s team,
led by Tiger signee Spencer Heflin, is a
lock for its umpteenth-straight West
region title. Although Coach Taylor recently lost #1 player William Lang, he
still has much to smile about and, Lang
or no Lang, hopes to bring home his
eighth state championship in the past
nine years.
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The Talent-less Show
BY WILL MAYS
On Saturday, February 4, MUS
had its yearly talent show. As usual, expectations were low, but sadly, even
these low expectations couldn’t be met.
It’s not that the MUS student body
lacks talent; it’s just that it was an illorganized affair, and humor repeatedly
seemed to escape our grasp. The usually funny Danny Travis was even struck
by this odd phenomenon, but Danny
wasn’t the only victim; it seems as if the
whole of the House Skit Competition
was afflicted as well. These skits were
either terribly dumb, unoriginal, or just
exceedingly long. Of course, Mr.
Smythe, a beacon of light in the dark
abyss that was the Talent Show, used
the overall dreadfulness of the skits to
his advantage though, so at least someone was funny. The skits most likely
won’t be making a resurgence in next
year’s show, or at least not in the same
way they were this year. They didn’t
seem to serve much of a purpose, and
they played out as more of a gimmick
than anything.
Getting past the terrible skits though,
there were the actual acts by the students. While most of them weren’t especially terrible, none of them were truly
great. Whit Cox did give a very impressive guitar solo, but it doesn’t compare
to his exhibition of his status as the resi-
dent guitar god that he gave us last year.
There were multiple other musical acts,
including Wooh Dog, the night’s overall winners, and an all lower-school rock
ensemble, but they all seemed to lack a
certain oomph. Wooh Dog gave a good
performance as usual, but the song selection could have possibly been better. They performed two original works
and chose to cover The Who’s “Baba
O’Riley” (mislabeled as Teenage
Wasteland in the program), but they
used the more guitar oriented Pearl Jam
version seen on many entries in the
Pearl Jam Live series. This really
wouldn’t have been too bad if Parker
hadn’t tried to get the audience to sing
along. It seemed that very few attendees knew the lyrics, so an awkward silence met Parker as he paused for the
audience. That slip-up and he fumbled
with some of the lyrics, but that’s permissible because they put on a good
show. The only true major waste of time
during the acts was Beau Creson’s
Matrix parody. Beau’s movies are normally pretty funny, but this movie was
just dumb – very, very dumb. All in all,
it was a bunch of mediocrity and failed
humor, but it was for a good cause.
Will gives the Talent Show 2 out
of 5 buzzards.
What Grinds My Gears
BY MATT PRESTON
Well, the editors finally cut my limit
to 350 words. So instead of writing a
fair and open article, surveying the evidence and then putting in my republican view, I am going to cram as much
conservative anger in here as I can.
Photo Courtesy of Hyperleap.nl
Slain Dutch director Theo van Gogh
One, George Clooney. Hollywood
has been heaping praise upon him for
“being so brave,” pushing political movies attacking the “right wing conspiracy”
in a liberal media. Brave? Are you kidding me? What consequences does he
face? Now Theo van Gogh was brave.
Theo, a Dutch movie-maker, made an
eye-opening documentary about the
degrading treatment of women in Islamic societies. As a consequence,
Theo was shot six times and his throat
was brutally slashed open by
Mohammed Bouyeri, a radical Muslim. It seems as if we are really lowering the bar of bravery. Maybe I’ll get a
Congressional Medal of Honor for eating cereal at the risk of choking.
Two, the media. Aside from pretty
much everything they do in general,
lately the media has been touting a video
proving that Bush failed to act during
Katrina. What they don’t show you is
the video showing the governor of Louisiana (Governor Blanco) assuring the
Bush administration that the levees were
safe after they had already broken. As
far as Bush knew, the levees were fine,
because the Governor of Louisiana told
him so. Funny, that the media took Bush
speaking out of context. Its almost like
they’re trying to slander him... nahhh.
Three, the media. The media has
also been focusing only on the protests
in India. What they don’t talk about is
how Indians like America. According
to a recent a poll by the Times of India, 71% of Indians approve of the
U.S., while 54% admire Bush’s handling of world affairs. You know the
media is being fair and open when they
seek out and video the 29% of Indians
who don’t like the U.S. and broadcast
it to the nation with negative remarks
about our government.
Four, the media. The media claims
that Bush is an isolationist and is ruining American treaties. What they don’t
tell you is that Bush is making great efforts to tie the U.S. and India even
closer (i.e. ushering India in the Nuclear
Society, offering them advanced technology, etc.). This is all without mentioning that the media has been greatly
oversampling democrats in polls (i.e.
CBS’s Bush approval rating poll).
Nevertheless, I’m still happy. The
U.S. Senate recently renewed the Patriot Act in a 89-10 vote. It feels good
to be safe.
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A Dangerous Threat in the White House
BY FRANK JEMISON
In a recent press conference, the
media asked President Bush to rank
Iraqi, Iran, and North Korea in terms
of the threat each posed to America’s
national security; Harry Whittington
was not even mentioned. It seems that
if the aide-de-camp of the Commander-in-Chief carries out a preemptive strike, the target of that attack
should be included among the major
threats to national security. But no, that
attempted murder has been pushed
under the rug and largely forgotten, with
one big question looming unanswered:
we know is that Dick Cheney shot
Harry Whittington in the face from close
range while hunting quail, but we don’t
know whether or not the Vice-President intended to shoot Mr. Whittington
or not. I will attempt to show that,
whether the shooting was intentional or
not, Vice-President Cheney should not
have shot Harry Whittington.
The case for the VP’s accidentally
shooting his “friend” is feasible. For
those of you who have never witnessed
a South Texas quail hunt, allow me to
explain the basics. A group of men walk
abreast in a line across unobstructed
terrain, and each member of the hunting party is decked out in blaze orange.
The formation, as well as the apparel,
is designed to ensure that the hunters
do not accidentally fall into the line of
fire, so if the Vice-President did in fact
shoot Mr. Whittington unintentionally,
he must have either been personally
unable to see Mr. Whittington or unable to alter his course of action upon
seeing Mr. Whittington; both propos-
als are possible. It is common knowledge that the Vice-President is not aging gracefully, and with all his trips to
the cardiologist, there just probably
wasn’t time to visit the optometrist.
Option one: the Vice-President is blind.
It has been seen, in past executive actions, that the President and the VicePresident can be “committed to a
course of action, even if it is unpopular.” Was that the case? Had Cheney
decided he would fire behind him and
was simply unable to change his course
of action upon realizing that what he
thought was a quail was in fact a 78year-old man? Option two: the vicepresident is a robot.
A third option only arises if Cheney
intentionally shot Harry Whittington,
and, unfortunately, this scenario seems
most likely. First, the VP has been an
avid hunter for many years without mishap, and yet, somehow, his first “accident” was an enormous blunder. Second, the Vice-President, known to be
an expert marksman, seemed to center
his shot squarely on his “friend’s” jugular. Both of these facts seem to indicate
that the Vice-President, despite his
statements to the contrary, did in fact
premeditate his decision to fire at Harry
Whittington, and while Cheney can protest that Whittington was carrying plans
for nuclear weapons or was overly oppressive to his clients, the facts clearly
show that either Vice-President Cheney
is a blind man, a robot, or a coldblooded killer. I know I don’t want that
man as my Vice-President anymore
than Mr. Whittington wants him as a
hunting partner.
Vice-President Cheney Had Every Right to Shoot Him
BY BLAKE COWAN
Unless you’ve been living under a
rock for the last few weeks, you have
probably heard the story of how Dick
Cheney shot 78 year old Harry
Whittington while on a hunting excursion. According to reports, the misfire
occurred while Cheney, Whittington,
and others were hunting quail on a ranch
in south Texas. However, this simple
game hunt would soon become the
“most dangerous game” hunt as
Whittington, allegedly unseen by
Cheney, was “peppered pretty good”
in the cheek, neck, and chest by the
vice- president’s 28-gauge shotgun.
Since then, Cheney has come under
great scrutiny for shooting his fellow
hunter. But I have to ask, “What’s the
big deal?” Who hasn’t shot someone
accidentally or even on purpose? For
as the Bible says, “He that is without
sin cast the first [30 gauge shotgun
blast]”. At least Cheney is man enough
to come clean and take the fall for his
actions; as he said in a recent interview,
“I’m the guy who pulled the trigger…it
was one of the worst days in my life.”
In a society prevalent with violence and
drive by’s, Cheney had the courage to
say “Yeah I shot him, what are you
gonna do about it?” And for that I applaud the vice-president’s actions, both
on and off the field.
Also, who on Earth is Harry
Whittington anyways? I could understand the uproar if Dick Cheney had
shot an American idol such as Clay
Aiken or Ruben Studdard, but no one
really cares what happens to an elderly
lawyer. So, am I saying that we should
each emulate the VP and head to
Trezvant Manor with a 12-gauge? No
that’s almost the complete opposite of
my argument. All that I am saying is that
since the shooting of Notorious B.I.G.
is still a mystery and we still don’t know
who framed Roger Rabbit, I am proud
that Dick Cheney came clean, even
knowing the consequences. In my opinion, Cheney is an example for the many
men and women who have already
shot someone. I agree with the vice-
president’s decision, and I hope that all
of you can still embrace Cheney as the
warm, compassionate man we all know
him to be, for we are like infants who
do not fully understand their parents’
actions. Soon though, as the infant
grows stronger and more intelligent, he
understands why his parent must act as
he does. My advice is to simply wait,
and the vice-president’s reasoning will
soon become clear to all of us. For I
strongly believe that Dick Cheney knew
exactly what he was doing, when he
shot Harry Whittington.
Photo Courtesy of smh.com.au
Editors’ Note: On the left is a bobwhite quail, what Vice-President
Cheney meant to shoot. Above,
Harry Whittington, whom Vice-President Cheney did shoot ... with a 28gauge shotgun in the face, neck and
chest.
Photo Courtesy of www.dnr.state.oh.us
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Golden Raspberry Awards Honor the Year’s Worst
BY MATT FARMER
My assignment: share some of my
infinite knowledge of cinema and pop
culture to educate you by using witty
satire and mocking the worst movies
of the year. Each year the Golden
Raspberry Awards humiliate the worst
pictures of the year and that time is just
around the corner. After perusing endless praises of Spielberg and all his
glory, he is finally getting what he deserves: a Golden Raspberry. Hopefully,
this signifies his rapid decline from Hollywood powerhouse to someone about
as useful as a second-semester senior.
Let’s begin:
Worst picture nominees include one
of Mr. Clifft’s favorites, House of Wax,
and I think we all know that the only
reason our man Clifft likes the movie:
the DVD cover has Paris Hilton wearing a wet T-shirt. But the odds-on favorite to win is Deuce Bigalow: European Gigalow. I mean seriously, were
there any questions that lingered in your
mind after the original Deuce? People,
was a sequel really necessary? But our
friends at the Razzies seem to have
overlooked the film that was intended
to revitalize Michael Keaton’s career
as the teen scream queen we know him
to be on the inside: White Noise, a horror film where the villain is static from a
TV. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice,
Beetlejuice! That is just terrifying. I
couldn’t sleep for weeks. I mean, what
if the TV were on when I fell asleep.
The horror. The horror.
Next comes worst actor. There are
a number of nominees but I’m only going to discuss Tom Cruise, which really
means I’m going to take the opportunity to mock Spielberg. Let’s be honest here people: Spielberg’s last six movies have been horrible, and let’s not even
discuss how overrated Munich is. But
we’ll talk War of the Worlds for a second. Just look at Spielberg’s casting.
Tom Cruise obviously makes awful
movie choices: The Last Samurai, Minority Report, and Mission: Impossible II just in the last 5 years. But good
ole Steve really outdid himself with Dakota Fanning—she may very well be
the most annoying human being since
Cameron Ridgway. While our friends
at the Razzies may not have forgotten
about Dre (worst actor, The Wash,
‘98ish), they did forget about Ice
Cube’s performance as a guy trying to
get a girl to like him by driving her kids
around in Are We There Yet?, a movie
that my dad really did see three times.
cause you love me.” Aww, tear, tear.
The real worst screenplay should go to
When a Stranger Calls. I never saw
the original, so it may have been good,
but this recent remake is terrible. The
villain has no background and no lines
accept of course for the classic and terrifying line: “I want your blood. (pause,
heavy breathing intended to scare 11year-old girls—and Erb) All of it.”
That’s right “I want your blood. All of
it.” That actually maybe the worst example of screenwriting I’ve ever seen
(although the idea of having Vin Diesel
in a family comedy in which he stars as
a babysitter is right up there with it).
At last, here it is: worst director. Finally, Spielberg gets what’s coming…all
these years…A.I., The Lost World:
Jurassic Park II, The Terminal, Minority Report, and yes, Schindler’s
List. Yeah, that’s right, I said it.
Schindler’s List is a bad movie. Go
ahead send me to hell, Hollywood. Burn
me at the stake; but Schindler’s List is
the most overrated, disappointing Oscar winner of all time; yes, that does
Photo Courtesy of CNN.com mean that it’s worse than The English
Razzies’ founder, John Wilson, Patient. If Spielberg had won Best Picholds two Raspberries
ture with Munich, the Oscars would
Worst actress nominees range from have officially lost all credibility in my
Disney stars (Hilary Duff) to Playboy
Playmates (Jenny McCarthy), but the
likely winner is Tara Reid for Alone in
the Dark—why is she still making movies? She really isn’t that attractive, and
she certainly can’t act. Just move on
please. You are awful, Tara. But some
of the worst acting from this or any year
came from Jessica Alba. Now see, I
can tolerate her being in movies because she’s ridiculously gorgeous, but
her acting “skills” are embarrassing. I
mean, did any of you see Fantastic
Four or Into the Blue? Come on
people. We can do better.
Worst screenplay nominees include
Stars Wars III (one of my favorite movies), with lines like “I love you because
you’re beautiful. No, I’m beautiful be-
book. Anyway, back to the Razzies. So
the nominees for worst director are
Spielberg for War of the Worlds and –
wait what’s this? Late breaking news.
Spielberg isn’t nominated. He was
robbed. He did everything he possibly
could to win this award. He poured his
soul into it, right down to the dysfunctional family with the angry son that has
become so clichéd in recent years. But
no, it appears to be in vain. I guess Hollywood loves the 70’s so much that no
matter how bad a movie may be
Spielberg will always get good reviews.
This is unbelievable.
So in conclusion, please support me
in furthering the cause of hating
Spielberg. But also be sure to avoid
these movies at all costs unless you are
desperate for a mean-spirited laugh at
the expense of the rich and famous.
P.S. It doesn’t look like Hollywood
is going to stop producing these embarrassments. In just a few months we’ll
be able to see Samuel L. Jackson in
the creatively titled, Snakes on a Plane,
in which Jackson plays a passenger on
a plane when halfway between Hawaii
and California, 500 deathly poisonous
snakes are released on the plane. I personally can’t wait.
Photo Courtesy of Jeanne Jemison
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Hungry?
Arctic Monkeys: Go Bananas
BY PRESTON BATTLE
BY AUSTIN NAUERT
Recently, while I was in one of
my meditative states, pondering such
questions as “How awesome is it that
Al Kapone came to school?” or
“Why would someone throw a
snowball at a cop?” or “What was
Michael Park thinking when he paid
$30 to frost his hair?” I asked myself, “If the Belmont and the Half Shell
got in a fight, which restaurant would
win?” Perplexed and hungry, I set out
to discover the answers to this ageold question (which is as confounding as how the Development Office
did such a great job of Photo-shopping the Rose family in MUS Today).
The first restaurant I hit was the
Belmont, a favorite in the Battle
household; I went to the one on
Mendenhall, though there is another
in Germantown. I split some nachos
with friends and then had the chicken
sandwich. I loved the food, atmosphere, price, and service, but the
parking at that place is RIDICULOUS. Other than that, I thoroughly
enjoyed the Belmont, as always.
I then jumped across the tracks
and headed south, to the Half Shell.
The Half Shell is a little more expensive and a bigger, and it doesn’t seem
to have the same “bar-y” feel, although the bar is always a hot spot
and in a great location. The main difference is in the moolah; the Half
Shell is for you kids who drive Yukon
Denali and drop big bucks on highend hair fashion in the Mexican slums
and think it’s socially acceptable and
“cool” because, hey, you’re the
quarterback and you decide what’s
cool, right?... but I digress. Anyway,
the atmosphere, service, and, to
some degree, food are almost the
same, so if you’re claustrophobic and
willing to drop a couple more bucks
for better food, go for the Half Shell;
if you’re looking for affordable food
and atmosphere, try the Belmont.
The first question that crossed my
mind when I picked up the Arctic Monkeys debut CD “Whatever People Say
I am, That is What I’m Not” was, “what
will be better, their story or their music?” In case you don’t know, this is
possibly the most hyped up band in
British history. The English press is already calling them one of the best bands
of all time, and their first album has set
a record for most CD’s sold for a debut album in British history.
Their story is phenomenal. The band
is made up of two twenty-year olds and
two nineteen-year olds who each got
an instrument for Christmas three years
ago and started the Arctic Monkeys.
They then sold home-burned CDs at
their shows. Their songs made their way
onto the unsigned bands page on
MySpace.com and took off from there.
The band sold out the Astoria in London by pure word of mouth – no single,
no album, no record label and definitely
no press. That’s just impressive. Afterwards, a bidding war by record labels
ensued, and they signed a modest contract with Domino Records (even
though they were not the highest bidder). They released their debut single,
“I Bet You Look Good on the
Dancefloor”, which shot straight up to
number one in the UK charts. Then
came their debut album, which went
straight to number one the day it came
out. On the first day it was released, it
sold 120,000 plus records; it finished
at 300,000 plus records after the first
week. Both figures are records for a
debut CD. And to top that off “Whatever People Say I am…” got voted fifth
greatest British album of all time by
NME magazine. It beat out “London
Calling” and “Revolver.” Oh, I didn’t
mention that this poll was released the
week the CD came out. So in other
words they are the most hyped up band
of all time. Now do they live up to the
hype? The short answer is no. However, it is next to impossible to over-
come that much hype. They are very
good and have a lot of potential, but
they are by no means the best band ever
and “Whatever People Say I Am …”
is not one of the greatest debut CDs of
all time, or even of this year. The Editors have taken the cake for best debut
CD of the year. The Arctic Monkeys
have made a very good debut effort but
just not the best ever.
Photo Courtesy of musicomh.com
Arctic Monkeys’ single “I Bet You
Look Good On the Dancefloor”
This is not a fan favorite, but it may be
my personal favorite song on the entire
CD. The song is about the anticipation
of the night to come. The next song is
their hit single “I Bet You Look Good
On the Dancefloor,” which is incredibly catchy. I myself am not much of a
singles fan, but I love this song. The next
standout is “Mardy Bum.” Many people
have called it the best track that the
Smiths never wrote. I would not go that
far, but this definitely sounds like a great
song written by Morrissey. It’s about a
moody girlfriend who just can’t be
pleased. The next great song is “When
the Sun Goes Down.” This was their
second hit single. It’s about a girl with a
“scumbag” for a boyfriend and his “dirty
plan”. It has one of the catchiest guitar
riffs on the whole album, which is saying something. The last track of the CD
“A Certain Romance”. This is the longest track on the album and probably
the best song on the entire CD. A drum
roll starts out the grand finale and eventually evolves into a guitar riff. “A Certain Romance” describes a usual pub
seen in England and how it is filled with
fakers and how “there isn’t no romance
around there.” However, towards the
end of the song he admits that some of
the fakers are his friends and he can
live with them. This is without a doubt
the best song on “What Ever People
Say I Am…” and the perfect song to
end on.
While I have praised this album a
lot it is by no means perfect. There are
a few lackluster tracks, and it lacks
originality. I would consider “What Ever
People Say I Am, That’s What I’m
Not” to be an album that is better than
good but not great.
Austin gives this album 4 out of 5
buzzards.
Ok, now onto the review. I do not
have enough room to write about every song so I will only talk about the
standouts. I will start out by saying there
is not a bad track on this album. They
are not all great, but none of them merit
the skip button. The main thing that the
Arctic Monkeys are known for (and
rightfully so) are their lyrics. They successfully capture teenage angst better
than most bands, and that is one of the
reasons why they are so popular in
England. Most of ‘Whatever People
Think I am...” is about nightlife. It is a
perfect Saturday-night-Sunday-morning album, addressing everything from
dancing with a girl with a fake name to
getting arrested for under-aged drinking. However, besides their lyrics, they
don’t bring that much originality to the
table. They sound like pretty much every other guitar-oriented rock band to
come out of the UK (Franz Ferdinand
and Bloc Party are the easiest compariEditors’Note: These reviews are solely
sons). “Whatever People Say I am …” the opinions of the authors and do not
starts out with the buzz saw guitar riffs reflect those of the MUS community or a
from “The View from the Afternoon”. consensus of the Owl’s Hoot staff.
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A Night Not Worth Watching
BY ALEXANDER FONES
Russian sci-fi hit, Night Watch
(Russian: Nochnoi Dozor), has been
the focus of international sci-fi cinema
enthusiasts since its release in 2004
across the CIS (Commonwealth of Independent States). Directed by
Kazakhstan-born
Timur
Bekmambetov, Night Watch grossed
more than US$16.7 million in Russia
alone. Due to its domestic popularity,
the film rights were bought by Fox
Searchlight Pictures, which also agreed
to finance the third part of the trilogy
(the second part, Day Watch, was released in Russia early this year).
Adapted from a popular series of
Russian novels, the film depicts an eternal struggle of light versus dark, a war
fought by magical beings known as
Others, who will end upon the emergence of the “Great Other” who will
choose between light or dark which side
will triumph. This war is primarily diplomatic after a millennia-old truce between the opposing sides. Dark Others are watched closely by a division
of Light Others called Night Watch,
while Dark Others remain as vigilant
with Day Watch. The ambiguity of light
and dark is truly compelling as neither
side is necessarily good or evil, just different. Sounds good, right? Well, like
all sci-fi fantasies, this new world needs
rules. However, the rules are as vague
as my fluency in Russian. Usually, films
about an approaching apocalypse tell
you clearly what is at stake and what
needs to be done to avoid such a disastrous end. Instead, Night Watch
drags the audience through a murky
storyline with the protagonist jumping
around town somehow stopping the
foreboding doom. Perhaps there’s
something lost in translation, but the film
tosses around terms like “the Gloom”
and “Vortex” as loosely as possible
without explanation. In addition, aside
from the main character, the dark vampire-like Anton who works for Light,
the characters are lifeless and immi-
nently forgettable.
However, for all its faults, the film
excels in style like no average Hollywood spectacle. Instead of a league of
classy elite magicians, the Others are
grimy as the people you see on the
streets, taking haven in little apartments
and factories rather than castles. Modern Moscow is shown without filter, and
the film’s magic is blood, vodka, and
light bulbs rather than some incantations
like Harry Potter Latin. The camera
never seems to show a dull shot, and
the visual effects are original and astounding without being overdone or
unbelievable. With the international release, Fox experiments with subtitles.
Instead of just sitting there, simply being words, these subtitles dance across
the screen, melt, are wiped away by
the actor’s hands, or turn into blood
without giving the audience headaches.
Night Watch could well be the start of
a new trend in innovative subtitling.
Photo Courtesy of CanMag.com
Konstantin Khabensky as Anton
Gorodetsky
I am hesitant to pass judgment on
this film. Possibly along with the release
of Day Watch, this unclear world of
light and darkness will finally be complete for the logic of us humans. Until
that point, Night Watch should be seen
but not heard (ignore what the subtitles
say, but look at them), which makes a
clean half of a great epic cinematic experience.
Alexander gives this film 2.5 out
of 5 buzzards.
The Academy Awards
BY FARRELL VARNER
Sometimes I forget what fuels my
love of movies, but I was reminded a
few Sundays ago by a certain awards
ceremony known as the Academy
Awards. Some feel that picking one
movie, actor, or director and stating
that it is the best is an inappropriate
objectification of the art of film. While
it is true that some talent goes unrecognized, we must still honor those who
have worked so hard to perfect their
craft. Now, onto the awards:
-Actor in a leading role: Philip
Seymour Hoffman. Hoffman’s portrayal of Truman Capote was
groundbreaking and truly deserved the
award. David Strathairn and Joaquin
Phoenix were close behind. It is interesting that the top 3 in the running
for the award all portrayed non-fictional characters.
-Actress in a leading role: Reese
Witherspoon. Considering her past
movies, her performance in Walk the
Line was mind-blowing. I think everyone was glad to see her win, for
she was so deserving of the award.
-Actor in a supporting role:
George Clooney. This was Clooney’s
third nomination and his first win. I’m
glad to see him win an Oscar with
Jake Gyllenhaal in a close second.
-Actress in a supporting role:
Rachel Weisz.A deserved award, but,
strangely the only Oscar won by The
Constant Gardener. For all those in
opposition to the Academy, The Constant Gardener is an excellent example of talent gone unrecognized.
-Best achievement in Cinematography: Memoirs of a Geisha. No
other movie in this category came
close to the beauty captured in Memoirs, and there are no doubts that it
deserved the award. Memoirs also
took the awards for Best Costume
and Best Art Direction. These awards
really demonstrate how beautiful this
movie is.
-Best adapted Screenplay:
Brokeback Mountain. This award
was merited, but could easily have
gone to Capote or The Constant
Gardener.
-Best original Screenplay: Crash.
Good Night, and Good Luck was
more deserving, but Crash was still
impressive. For me, this was the
award with the closest competition.
-Best achievement in directing:
Ang Lee. This was another close call
with all of the nominees (except
Steven Spielberg) very worthy of the
award. The actors of the other films
were more impressive, yet Lee had a
much larger part in the performances
of Brokeback Mountain.
-Best original song: “It’s Hard Out
Here For a Pimp.” Though it doesn’t
sound very academic, “It’s Hard…”
brings about a new view of the Oscars. Of course, Memphians must be
excited because Hustle & Flow was
set and filmed in Memphis. For all of
us, there should be Memphis pride set
about in this win.
-Best Motion Picture of the Year:
Crash. This was a surprise win by
Paul Haggis and the massive cast of
Crash. I was expecting Capote or
Brokeback, but I am glad to see
Crash win. It is a very important film
and overall a solid movie.
To sum it all up:
Memoirs of a Geisha pulled a lot
more awards than expected and deserved them all; Brokeback Mountain was an important movie, but not
three Oscars important; King Kong
stole three undeserved editing and
sound awards from War of the
Worlds; and Good Night and Good
Luck deserved at least one award.
However, the Academy Awards were
impressive this year and, overall, I was
satisfied with the results. Whether you
approve of them or not, you cannot
deny the excitement and drama of the
Academy Awards.
P
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The Crossword Puzzle
Sudoku
“With great power comes great responsibility”. This puzzle comes to us courtesy of Mr. Murphy’s eight-year-old son, Patrick, so if you can’t do it, consider
yourself inferior... to an eight-year-old. Enjoy!