Read the first Chapter!
Transcription
Read the first Chapter!
GOES TO THE VET NICK BRUEL A NEAL PORTER BOOK R OAR I NG B R OOK PRESS N E W YO R K 1 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 1 4/15/15 9:36 AM •CHAPTER ONE• POOR, SICK KITTY This is what Kitty looks like when she’s a happy, healthy pussycat. 5 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 5 4/15/15 9:36 AM She has lots of energy. 6 6 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 6 4/15/15 9:36 AM She has a good appetite. 7 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 7 4/15/15 9:36 AM She has a really, REALLY good appetite. 8 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 8 4/15/15 9:36 AM And she keeps herself nice and clean. 9 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 9 4/15/15 9:36 AM But that’s not how Kitty looks today. She looks terrible. She looks tired. She looks unhappy. She does not look healthy at all. 10 10 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 10 4/15/15 9:36 AM And worst of all . . . Kitty is just not eating her food. 11 11 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 11 4/15/15 9:36 AM Kitty, I just don’t understand why you’re not eating. I’ve watched grown men cry trying to beat you at a hot dog eating contest. I once saw you swallow an entire liver and pineapple pizza in one gulp. I’ve seen you consume an entire meatloaf the size of a car in just five minutes. It was horrifying. 12 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 12 4/15/15 9:36 AM This is the warning poster that hangs over the meat counter of every grocery store in the county. KITTY lack HAIR: B ow ell ent EYES: Y : 11’ T H ct innoc G a I r t E s i H d . s o b t wn until T: 8.5 l been kno e of sad meows s WEIGH a h n o l e fe uenc gry felin nd a seq inutes. This hun th soulful eyes a in a matter of m wi ck s, butchers y devours all sto ith claw w l d e n e m d r vily a she sud ne is hea i l e F . e g enga ttempt to ectile hair balls. a t o n o D roj lent th, and p asty, vio n f i e c r sharp tee air fo trol, and n o c l a ice, anim Call pol hted. sig feline is 13 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 13 4/15/15 9:36 AM But today you’re not even touching your breakfast! Please, Kitty! Eat something! You’re starting to get us worried. Try to sit up, Kitty. Let’s check you out. Maybe you have a hair ball caught in your throat. 14 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 14 4/15/15 9:36 AM Nothing? Hmmmm . . . I think I should feel your belly just to see if you have any lumps. Hold still, Kitty. I promise this won’t hurt one bit. 15 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 15 4/15/15 9:36 AM 16 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 16 4/15/15 9:36 AM Sorry about that, Kitty. I honestly had no idea you were so ticklish. 17 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 17 4/15/15 9:36 AM I think that maybe it’s time to take your temperature, Kitty. 18 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 18 4/15/15 9:36 AM Uhhhh . . . Sorry, Kitty. It’s not that kind of thermometer. 19 19 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 19 4/15/15 9:36 AM That is not helpful, Kitty. 20 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 20 4/15/15 9:36 AM Look, Kitty, you’re obviously not feeling well, and we have no idea what’s wrong. But we know that something IS wrong. It could be serious. It could be nothing. But if you’re not going to let me take your temperature, then someone else will have to. 21 21 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 21 4/15/15 9:36 AM I guess we’re just going to have to take you to the . . . VET. 22 22 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 22 4/15/15 9:36 AM Great. Well, I guess she has a little energy left in her after all. 23 23 Bad Kitty Goes Vet int 2nd pass.indd 23 4/15/15 9:36 AM