liner notes

WATER WISHES (381)
PREDATOR vs. ALIENS (512)
TINY VICTORIES (484)
MAGIC BULLET (104/143)
GOT THAT CASH GOT US (511)
THERE HERE (514)
BLACK IN SUMMER (307)
IMAGES ON TAPE (274)
PUSH PULL (279)
COPIES WITHOUT ORIGINALS (259)
DAYS & NIGHTS & WEEKS & MONTHS (220)
IN, OUT, ABOUT (518)
All songs by Constantine V. Nakassis, except as noted, © 2002, 2005–2009.
Recorded, mixed, mastered by C. Nakassis in Philadelphia, PA;
Madurai, Tamil Nadu; Gaithersburg, MD; Chennai, Tamil Nadu.
http://www.astudyinher.com
[email protected]
ELECTRONIC EEL RECORDS (Release 014)
2324 S. Rosewood St. Philadelphia, PA 19145
http://www.electroniceel.com
[email protected]
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IN, OUT, ABOUT (488)
ONE-NINE-SIX (196/513)
INFORMANT (388)
IN A TOWN TO THE EAST (473)
WAITING (249)
CECILIA (442)
MARICEL (319)
LONG YEAR (438)
LAST EXIT (506)
PAINTED WITH THE LIGHTS (198)
TAPPED (515)
THOUSAND LIGHTS (404)
ASiH In, Out, About – C. Nakassis, Lucas Carscadden, Michael
Mikowicz, Shakthisree Gopalan, Elsie Muñiz, Kedharnath Sairam,
Julie Cousin Nakassis.
COVER IMAGE: Eric Haag; PHOTOS: C. Nakassis
THANKS TO: Mike Spinka; Eric Haag; John Berry; Phil Apostol, Jesse
Tittsworth, Matt Thies, Magda Nakassis, Julie Cousin Nakassis, Andrew
Black, Alex Hedstrom, Kedharnath Sairam for critical feedback and mix
help; Mikowicz family for making space for us to practice; Julie, Nakassis
family, Kedharnath and family, Shakthisree and family, Mike and Alison,
and Guru Prasad for providing space to write and record.
WATER WISHES (381) (Lyrics/vocals: M. Mikowicz) Okay. Water wishes and pipe dream
dreams your water wishes and pipe dream dreams taking loyal best friends, best trends for
safety. Inverted microscopes. I'm leaving laughing because we shook hands with clear heads.
We shook smiles and eye glances. You're screaming yourself asleep these nights. I'm waking
myself up to see the sun rise. And I’m keeping the answers locked up tight. And two accidents
don't make it right. And I don't know if you'll see the sun rise. (2007 Gaithersburg)
PREDATOR vs. ALIENS (512) A predator among aliens. It’s better we don’t know what we’re
doing. It’s safer that we don’t care who we’re screwing. Every night, every hot, hot night we’re
stealing all your little secrets for a little coin. Every day, every grueling day we’re pretending
to be friends for a little noise (on tape). It’s better that we don’t know who we’re hunting. It’s
safer that we don’t care. It’s easy because we don’t mind. It’ll pass, so don’t think who we’re
leaving and losing and screwing and bruising because on every night, on every, every hot, hot
night we’re stealing all your little secrets for a little cash. Every day, every grueling day we’re
pretending to be friends for a little while, because on every night, on every hot, hot night
we’re mining all your little lies for a perfect line. Every second, every grueling second we’re
thinking and tinkering and trying and mining for whys. Every night, every hot, hot night we
are stealing. Every day, every sunlit/rainy day we’re pretending to be. Every minute, every
stretched out minute we’re scheming. Every second, every passing/passed out second we’re
praying/paying for reprieve/relief. This is what you wanted. (2009 Gaithersburg)
TINY VICTORIES (484) (Lyrics/vocals: L. Carscadden; backup vocals: C. Nakassis) There’s a
vicious thrill in ignoring signs and signals. As we press forward we clip our steps. Everybody
wants to be the man on the inside, but no one wants to be the last man in. Hey, everyone’s got
somewhere else to be, their own trajectory, and I don’t mind. Hey, we live for tiny victories
like these because they happen all the time. We live for tiny victories like these. We’re held
back but we’re reaching forward. Our little arms race in these few short feet, every other day
we move a little closer. Even if they noticed what could they say? (2009 Chennai,
Gaithersburg)
MAGIC BULLET (104/143) Pay me. Pray with me. Wait for me. Stay with me. Think for me.
Think through me. Drink my blood dry. Receive like bullets messages in your veins like ‘Buy!
Buy! Buy!’ Chant like children magic in your mind like not my time, all the time. Could you
buy my time/mind, could the image/word come from the top of the world, drop down to the
slum's soles like not my time/‘Bye Bye Bye!’ My fist opened up five dollars fluttering in the
wind, flying in the register’s grip, like all the time. To be our thought, our laws/lives, our
wants, our needs, my eyes, the needle frees our hearts, our minds, our burden to be. (2006
Philadelphia)
GOT THAT CASH GOT US (511) Tear it up. Rip it down. Make it turn. Want it more than.
Take it with you away. Use it up to the end. No more causation, no more final causes: to cover
our creeping depression, to explain our messy lives, to let us keep on keep on moving, to keep
us from right compromise. (2009 Gaithersburg, Philadelphia)
THERE HERE (514) I’m imagining you here, Aunt Rose, back in the third world. I’m
imagining you here, Aunt Rose, back when we weren’t so old. They say your neck exploded
when you tried to breathe, when you breathed. You were there for us, but I don’t think we can
say the same. You were there for us, but I don’t think it stayed the same. Dead body dance, a
parade of you, garlands of roses, left in/at your wake. (2009 Philadelphia)
BLACK IN SUMMER (307) (Lyrics/vocals: L. Carscadden; backup vocals: C. Nakassis) For just a
crucial second the city lets down its defense; and now we’re breathing in the sense of power
chords and quarter notes; and when it’s time to go, we won’t know it’s time to go; and when
we’re left in the dark, we won’t know it’s time. Who will you be with when the lights go out?
We’ll send these good vibrations into the cold Atlantic sea to watch them wash back up into
the heart of the Chesapeake. We’re wearing black in summer. We’re praying oh-so-hard for
rain. We’re yelling out requests because we forgot what it is to die. Less is more, but more is
better. Better will never be enough. (2006, 2009 Gaithersburg)
IMAGES ON TAPE (274) (Lyrics/vocals: M. Mikowicz; lyrics/backup vocals: C. Nakassis) So
tired of waiting, seeing. Step away from the sunlight, dreaming. I just want to press play, to
have my favorite memories. I just want light-speed connection. I'm seeing everything.
Everyone is so connected with images on tape. Spent our whole lives dilated a shared memory.
Everyone is disconnected, images contained. Spent our evenings embracing all our lives, all our
lives on tape. But when I think back to when everything was in pieces, blurry, like a heartbroken drunken night. Feelings were pushed down by skylines and shipwrecks. Those
constellations, they make me who I am. Every night now we are watching what we shot today.
And I wonder how soon you'll hear my requiem. (2006 Philadelphia; 2009 Gaithersburg)
PUSH PULL (279) Instruct me on how to be one self, one true self all alone/but whole. We
didn’t come on boats but in them without our names. Fit me back together. I'm broken and in
a thousand pieces. Strange words and fake accents spread over as many/entire situations. Piece
me back together. I'm fit and in as many corners. Wake up! Start again! Take back! (2006
Philadelphia; 2009 Gaithersburg)
COPIES WITHOUT ORIGINALS (259) We don’t want anymore than you don’t want anymore
than we don’t want anymore than you don’t want anymore than us. (2005 Madurai; 2009
Philadelphia)
DAYS & NIGHTS & WEEKS & MONTHS (220) (Vocals: Shakthisree Gopalan; lyrics:
Shakthisree Gopalan, C. Nakassis) Days and nights and weeks turned months, slipped right by
us. Words and glances worked their way in between us. Words and glances worked their way
and days and nights and weeks turned months that slipped right by us. Dreamy eyes and
dancing lights; whispers in the night I hear by my side; shifting lines and shady lies, plotted
schemes in between. You know I've tried to clean it up. You know I've tried to clean myself
up, to patch it up, you know I tried. Days and nights, words and glances that just slipped
through right by us. And I know you're right here. (2005 Madurai; 2009 Chennai,
Gaithersburg)
IN, OUT, ABOUT (518) In, out, about. (2009 Philadelphia)
IN, OUT, ABOUT (488) It's been too long from Philadelphia away, from everyone away, two
years spent where? No surprises you're alone. By yourself you're blameless/faultless, no one to
touch/hurt anymore. Trapped in Chennai, woken by the heat. Slept in Choolai(medu), buried
in those dreams of homemade films. Who you wished you were, where you thought you'd be,
you didn't think you'd end up (buried) here at 100 Feet (Road). (2009 Chennai)
ONE-NINE-SIX (196/513) Smart to invoke a dislike for body parts on silent lines of electricity.
(2002)
INFORMANT (388) You know you’re my life here, all night bus rides and ran away brides.
Taped secrets, you know you’re mine. I waited for my papers but for what I don't know. It's
been nine months and now what I don't know. Get(ting) good at acting and tired of asking,
‘Who are you? And what do you want?’ The sound of friendship sounds like clinking coins,
sounds like this: I asked every question that I thought of. You know all my secrets, you took
note of. I know all they're hiding from their friends. I know what's in their hearts, what’s got
them feeling. Don't tell anyone, Senthil, about us. Don't tell anyone, Senthil, about this thing
we've got. I waited so long to be here, but for what I don’t know now. You know you’re
everything to me. It's been twenty-nine years now what are you going to do? What are we
going to do? (2007 Gaithersburg)
IN A TOWN TO THE EAST (473) One thousand strands from our lips and face(; we) cut our
ties with everyone. Without our vanity what are we? One hundred percent half. Sticks and
stones and knives and pride, kin and lies and wishes that ties won't ever die. We cut our ties.
Without our enemy who are we? One hundred percent half. You left everyone, everything. In
a town to the east. (2009 Chennai)
WAITING (249) (Lyrics/vocals: Elsie Muñiz) You feel misunderstood. But I know it’s that
you’re no good. But I’ll stay waiting for you. I know you want me to be only a fraction of what
I should be. But/And I’ll stay waiting for you, hoping you’ll see it through. Because we’ve been
here before, and it’s only a matter of time before you finally realize that you were meant to be
mine. (2006 Philadelphia)
CECILIA (442) Cecilia, don't you worry. Cecilia, don't you cry, it's just me. Cecilia, do you think
you'll remember today? Well, you know, it's okay if you don't. We'll remember it for you. Oh
you know, you know we love you. You know we're here for you. Oh you know, you know we
love you. Oh you know, you know we're here for you. Oh you know we wouldn't leave you. Oh
you know there won't be anyone like you. Oh you know, you know we need you. And oh you
know, you know we won't love anyone like you. (2008 Gaithersburg)
MARICEL (319) Smaller than nothing, quieter than silence, softer than shallow breaths, a light
bright in absence: Maricel, all’s right/alright, in care/coo, everyone’s light. Maricel, who? A
light bright in absence. Seven letters, all our cells split and pieced with all our tells. Our selfextension named but distant, the same but different. Maricel, it's all alright in care and in coo.
Maricel, all's right with everything you. (2006, 2009 Gaithersburg)
LONG YEAR (438) Early mornings and late nights with sleepless days and forgettable fights,
we got no reason (but) we’ll be alright. You are right to be with me. And I know that it’s been
a hard year together. It’s been a hard year apart. It’s been a hard year together. It’ll be a hard
year apart. From our M.G. Nagar down to the Vaigai dam, from Thevar’s statue to Senthil’s arts
stand, how about a year in Madurai? How about a song for us? Even if we found too little else,
was it enough for us? Was is it enough for you, being alone, being alone together? It’s been a
hard year together. It’s been a hard year apart. It’ll be a hard year alone. It'll be a hard year but
that doesn't mean it'll break us up. We’ve got to hope it'll be okay. (2008 Gaithersburg)
LAST EXIT (506) Last exit, murdered bodies and teary chest beating. Outside of Jaya(lakshmi)’s
barred windows aces and drunkards knife fight and slip and spill on the side streets of our last
Azhagar night. What a strange way to leave my Madurai; just like in a movie: rough and
rowdy; like our tired senses know it to be: native and lovely. Flood the streets with your face
and your voice. Flood the air with old song(s) and false choice washed in green and white on
flex board; and ghost the words with noise and you’ll think . . . And I was leaving two years
behind while humming . . . (2009 Gaithersburg)
PAINTED WITH THE LIGHTS (198) (Vocals: Shakthisree Gopalan; lyrics: Shakthisree
Gopalan, C. Nakassis; backup vocals: Kedharnath Sairam, C. Nakassis; additional programming:
Kedharnath Sairam) Perfumes and plastic smiles, intoxication by the wine; contemplation in
stills, inside complicated things, fit, found, and tried. Midnight moonlight seems so sublime.
Fading footsteps echo my insignificance in the crowd, an endless wash of noise; approaching,
distant, fleeting sounds, stillness before/of the noise, a roar of broken voices. Did you leave
something behind? Did you stop running? Hear the rain falling on my window pane. Lie in bed
contemplating what to say. It's been a while since I've felt this way. Catch the shadows of my
dreams. They're running away from me, strung and stripped; and I'm running. Stars hung in
the sky, hung in the streets painted with the lights. (2005 Madurai; 2009 Chennai)
TAPPED (515) (Backup vocals: Julie Cousin Nakassis) Drunk on palm, burning lips, shaking
hands sweat. In Margao we are tipped and tamed with fifths, and wet and waiting, we’re all
alone but together. I spilled. (And) I slipped/slept. I went under (and pretended). I slurred/slid
and I wished/missed. I tumbled troubled and pretended to be someone else. In Margao we are
tipped and tamed with fifths and, wet and waiting, we’re all alone but together. Drunk on
palm with burning lips your shaking hands and beads of sweat wander to your mouth, salty
and hot(, trembling and taut). A peg, a cutting, a lifeline, make due with any reason. Escape
our own attention, we sleep/asleep, all/our limbs asleep. Burning lips, tamed with fifths,
shuddered. (2009 Philadelphia)
THOUSAND LIGHTS (404) There are a Thousand Lights on Mount Road, but you can’t see
even one of them. There are a thousand stars in Chennai, but you can’t even recognize one of
them. Who wants to be eighteen again? Not me. I thought it was me. It’s not me. There are a
thousand temples in Madurai, but you haven’t been even to one of them. There are a thousand
lovers in the streets, but you can’t talk to even one of them. (2007 Madurai; 2008 Gaithersburg)