Meeting Their Needs - The Sacred Portion Children`s Outreach
Transcription
Meeting Their Needs - The Sacred Portion Children`s Outreach
THE SACRED PORTION CHILDREN’S OUTREACH A Child Caring Ministry Spring/Summer 2005 “And you . . . shall rejoice in all the good which the Lord your God has given you and your household. And you . . . shall say before the Lord your God, I have removed the sacred portion from my house, and have given it to . . . the orphan according to all thy commandments which thou hast commanded me . . . I have listened to the voice of the Lord my God.” Deuteronomy 26: 11, 12 & 14 Our Mission Meeting Their Needs by Jan Druckenmiller I had the pleasure of spending several weeks at the Rehoboth Children’s Home in February. It had been six months since my last visit. My first impression upon walking into the facility was how the fabric of the daily life of the home. For me, this is affirmation that these children are used to getting their needs met. There are institutions in this world where you could walk into a room full of clean everything was. My second impression was how bonded the children had become to their caregivers. They respond to their caregivers as any child would to their mother, which includes crying for attention! In fact, the sound of crying children is woven into children and not hear a single cry. That is because the children have given up. Crying is a conditioned response that is reinforced when a child’s needs are met. There is no reason to cry when you have learned that no one comes. The Sacred Portion Children’s Outreach is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing for the needy children of the world who are without homes or families. Formerly known in our community as Southwood Child and Family Education Center, the organization was directly involved for 22 years in the development and operation of an early childhood program. In 1997 the organization passed the care and continuation of that program into another’s hands and the founders, Craig and Jan Druckenmiller, turned their hearts towards serving a more needy population of the world’s children. The organization, as part of its new mission seeks to assist facilities that care for orphaned and abandoned children in providing healthy, secure environments in which these children can grow and develop as normally as possible. Continued on page 2 Meeting Their Needs Continued from page 1 slide and have plans for an outdoor play structure as well. We also have a separate play area for the crawling babies and had some foam ramps and stairs made to satisfy the mobility needs of these little explorers. Although the schedule of the Home sometimes necessitates the children being confined to their play areas, they are also allowed to roam through the house as any child would normally do in their We are blessed to have caregivers at Rehoboth who are very loving and attentive to the children’s needs. Recently I received, via e-mail, the picture that is on the front of this newsletter. When I opened the picture on my computer, I rejoiced that the staff at the Rehoboth Children’s Home seem to have an intuitive sense of what kids need apart from any formal child development training. One can only wish to be inside that picture to hear the screams and squeals of delight as the children splash around in the water-filled tubs out on the lawn. Our babies at Rehoboth have grown into toddlers and, as their needs have changed, the staff have responded accordingly. The toddlers are being introduced to paint, play dough, markers and other basic art materials to give them sensory experiences that are beneficial at this stage of their development. Sensory experiences extend into meal time where the toddlers are allowed to feed themselves even though it makes for quite a mess! Recognizing their need to climb and their love for hiding inside of things, we now have a toddler playroom equipped with a Little Tykes indoor climber and 2 h o m e en vi r o nm ent . The atmosphere is natural and homey, rather than institutional. The children live together as a family. They call each other by name, play and fight like siblings. Birthdays are celebrated with a party in the traditional Filipino way. On Sundays, the children and caregivers head up the road to attend church as a family. For the children at Rehoboth, this is their home and the caregivers are doing their best to meet the physical, social and emotional needs of the children. But it’s not enough. These children need parents. Although it has been difficult to find someone to commit to the position of permanent, resident social worker, we have been able to utilize the services of several social workers to get the children's’ case studies and other paperwork completed. As a result, some of the children are finally moving through the system and are being matched for adoption. The children must first be made available for a certain period of time for “local” matching to families in the Philippines. Angel is our first We are so very grateful to all of our sponsors for the part they are playing in assuring that the needs of the children at Rehoboth are being met and that they are getting off to a good start in life. We currently have sponsors for ten out of the fifteen children who reside at Rehoboth. We are seeking sponsors for the remaining five children shown below. If you are interested in sponsoring one of these children, please see the child sponsorship form on page 5. Jelly Rose Age 1 year Jayson → Age 7 months Rehoboth child to be blessed with a family. She has been matched locally with a Filipino couple. As the family waits for their adoption paperwork to be completed, they have started visiting Angel at Rehoboth so that she can become acquainted with them. A match was not found at the local level for Joel, Leah or Ruthie so their paperwork moved on to the Intercountry Adoption Board of the Philippines. They were mat c he d f or int e r nat i on al adoption on June 14. Fe, our deputy administrator and our new social worker reviewed a pool of applications from prospective adoptive families from all over the world. It’s so exciting to know that these precious toddlers will soon have families of their very own. We hope to get the paperwork moving on the other babies and toddlers at Rehoboth as well. We are praying that our new social worker who was hired in June will stick around! ← Michael Age 8 months Mark John → Age 3 months ← Jazzreel Ivy Age 8 months 3 NEW ARRIVALS AT REHOBOTH As we prepare for some of our children to leave Rehoboth to go for adoption, God is quickly filling their places with new arrivals. We recently admitted a sibling group of three who was removed from their family situation. The siblings are part of a family of nine or more people who, for the past eleven years have been living in a space smaller than the inside of a passenger van. The children in the family have not been receiving education and are neglected due to the poverty of the family. It remains to be seen, at this point, whether these three will be returned to their family or if another plan will be made for their future. In addition to the sibling group, we have also just admitted an abandoned baby who is very malnourished. The staff at Rehoboth were very worried about this child because he was not showing any emotion. They are more encouraged now that he is “crying with small tears asking for his milk and smiling.” Siblings Jonathan Age 18 Months Jonalyn Age 4 Years Joann Newborn John Rey Carlos Age 10 Months 4 A Portion of Love Child Sponsorship Program Now that it is up and running, the Rehoboth Children’s Home needs to develop a support base for the ongoing operation of the Home. While other types of contributions and gifts can be sporadic or seasonal, a sponsorship program provides a predictable and consistent income for the Home by which to meet the daily needs of the children for food, clothing, and medical care. In addition to providing a stable income base, the sponsorship program is an opportunity for others to become involved and have a role in providing love and care that can transform the life of a child. A child sponsor can be an individual or couple, a Sunday School class, youth group or civic organization. Once a sponsor is matched with a child, they will receive a description of their child and how he or she came to be at the Rehoboth Children’s Home. Regular updates and pictures will be provided throughout the year. Sponsors will have the opportunity to send letters, cards and small gifts to their sponsored child. The sponsorship amount is $25 per month. Since it costs more than $25 per month to provide for the many needs of a child at the Rehoboth Children’s Home, a sponsor’s gifts will be combined with others to form an extended family of support for their sponsored child. If you are interested in becoming a child sponsor through the PORTION OF LOVE sponsorship program, please complete the form below and return it to us at the Sacred Portion Children’s Outreach. Yes, I would like to sponsor a child for $25 per month. Enclosed find my first payment of $_____________ to cover ______________ months. I cannot become a sponsor at this time, but I would like to make a contribution of $ _____________ . Name (please print):______________________________________________________________________________ Address: _________________________________________________________________________________________ Phone: _____________________________________ Make checks payable and mail to: E-mail: _______________________________________ The Sacred Portion Children’s Outreach 7104 Bristol Lane Bozeman, MT 59715 All contributions are tax-deductible 5 The Rehoboth Early Learning Center Completes Its First Year The Rehoboth Early Learning Center was established to provide the children in residence at the Rehoboth Children’s Home a program of stimulation and learning. Since the current population of the Home is mostly babies and toddlers, the Early Learning Center was opened to needy children of the community during its first year of operation. Although they came into the preschool lacking in many skill areas, the children made great progress throughout the year thanks to their preschool teacher, Ms. Marivic Relletta. The children were very happy in their learning environment with all of the wonderful toys and materials. The Rehoboth Early Learning Center finished out the school year with a field trip to a television/radio station in Manila on April 15th. This was the culmination of a unit of study on Communication. Manila is about a three hour drive from Rehoboth so it made for an all day outing. Parents of the community children enrolled in the preschool joined in on the field trip as did some of the Rehoboth staff. It was a great learning experience for the children (and parents) and the day was thoroughly enjoyed by all. On April 19th, the preschool held a graduation ceremony for those children who will be moving on to public school. The children received a certificate presented by the Pastor Ike of Christ to the Philippines church and a “commencement address” was given by Ms. Grace Parica, University of Rizal. The children were very proud of their accomplishments and full of smiles on this special day. Carlo, the only residential child in the preschool this past year will be continuing for another year and will be joined by his buddy, Angelo, another residential child. In addition to Carlo and Angelo, eight new children from the community were enrolled for a total of ten children at the start of the school year on June 13th after the two month break. 6 SUMMER MIRACLES 2005 PUT ON HOLD Our auction fundraiser held on April 15 was a success, host families had completed their training and two groups of children had been identified to come to Bozeman, one from the Philippines and one from Russia. Then, came an unexpected and unforeseen turn of events. The primary purpose of the Summer Miracles program is to give older orphans a break and a summer vacation away from what is often a grim existence within the walls of an orphanage. It is a chance for them to experience life in a family, to receive proper nutrition and medical care, and to have fun! A secondary outcome of the summer program is adoption. People who meet these children often want to adopt them. In fact, the Summer Miracles program has proven to be an effective strategy in finding homes for older, waiting children. Over the past three years, 40 out of 49 children who participated in the Summer Miracles program in our community have found adoptive families. The Sacred Portion Children’s Outreach has been the sponsor and coordinator of the Summer Miracles program in our community. Once the summer program has ended and the children have returned to their orphanages, we refer families who are considering adoption to a licensed child placing agency. The adoption process is something that happens separately and apart from our organization. Yet, the Department of Child and Family Services, which is the licensure authority in our state government, recently made an interpretation of our summer program as being involved in “placement” activities since we attempt to make contact between older orphans and prospective adoptive families. We are being told that, in order to continue, we must become a licensed child placing agency. This is something we cannot do overnight and, consequently, we have had to put the summer program on hold until we can complete this process. Summer hosting programs are a new “genre” of placement activities that have come about in recent years. Thus, the state statutes are antiquated and do not address this type of program. The current interpretation of the adoption/ licensure code being applied to our summer program would make the program unworkable. We hope to educate key people in state government as to the concept of summer hosting programs and work cooperatively to develop a different level of requirements that will not be so arduous and more relevant to a short term stay of children in our community. Kidsave International, the umbrella organization over the Russian part of our summer program, has successfully blazed a trail in this regard in several other states where the issues have been identical to what we are encountering here. The staff of Kidsave are offering their assistance to help us do the same in Montana. the meantime, all of the funds that were generated for this summer’s program are being held in a reserve account. We would greatly appreciate your positive thoughts and prayers in the coming days that this obstacle that has come into our path would be removed so that we can continue to advocate for children who are without families. We are very grateful to everyone who has been a part of the Sum m er Mi racles program through your gifts of time, talent, money, and goods or services. Your support has been a great blessing to us. Thank you for believing in the worth of these children and for putting aside a “sacred portion”, a gift from your heart that has helped to sustain, rescue and bring restoration to innocent lives. We have every intention of continuing the Summer Miracles program and are confident that we can complete the licensure process before next summer. In 7 SUMMER MIRACLES 2004 HOME FROM THE PHILIPPINES! Kim Mason traveled to the Philippines on March 5th to be reunited with summer host children, Jeje, age 13 and Jojo, age 10. These two brothers have permanently joined the Mason family and Dauren, Olivia and Ruthie are very happy about their two big brothers. Liz and Rich Barton traveled with their two children, Joel and Tessa, at the same time as Kim Mason. The Bartons were reunited with the sibling group they hosted during Summer Miracles 2004 composed of Jane, age 14, Joseph, age 12, and Leonora, age 8. 8 SUMMER MIRACLES 2004 HOME FROM THE PHILIPPINES! Annette Osen traveled to the Philippines on January 28th to fetch summer host child Giovann, age 8. Giovann permanently joins Don and Annette’s brood of children including Thomas, Dawnette, Mariette, Juliette, and Timothy. Joan Van Natta traveled at the same time as Annette Osen and was reunited with host siblings Timog, age 14, and Canaway, age 12. They are now at home in Iowa with their new parents and siblings, Meridith, Peter and Amy. 9 SUMMER MIRACLES 2004 HOME FROM RUSSIA AND THE PHILIPPINES! Twin brothers, Andrey and Victor, age 7 came home for good in April, 2005. These boys were two of a group of five children who came from Russia for Summer Miracles 2004. The twins were adopted by the Heaton family. The Chapman family including parents, Holly and Doug, and children, Juniper, Conner and Lacy traveled to the Philippines on July 11. They were reunited with host children, Jason, age 10 and Jennifer, age 13. As the children settle into their new lives with their adoptive families, they experience many changes. Changes in routine, changes in diet, changes in education, changes in weather and climate, to mention a few. In a regular adoption process, it can be overwhelming for a child to suddenly be taken away from all that is familiar and plunked down into a strange culture with strange people thousands of miles from their home country. The advantage of the Summer Miracles program is that the children have already had a taste of life in America, have gotten to know their host parents and siblings and have become familiar with the food, daily routines and lifestyles of their families. Although there are still challenges, the fact that these children were able to spend four to six weeks with a family prior to adoption does make for an easier transition. 10 Giovann Osen touching snow for the first time upon his arrival home in February, 2005. ONCE UPON A TIME….. By Kim Mason Once upon a time, not so very long ago, a man, his wife and their three children were living together in relative peace and harmony in the land of The Last Best Place. Their children had been given to them through the gift of adoption from faraway lands and each child had been received with great joy. There was nothing more the man or woman could have wished for until the day they met their fairy godparents. Then they knew they would be bound for distant lands once again. The fairy godparents brought news of beautiful princes and princesses who would be seeking shelter and amusement of a different kind than which they were accustomed to in their Pacific Paradise. The man and woman thought it would be a privilege to entertain such fine lads or lasses. They had learned that, although these special young people were well looked after in their tropical kingdom, they were lacking the one thing their hearts desired most - the honored title of ‘son’ or ‘daughter. The man and woman knew they could not bestow lavish gifts or fantasy rooms in a castle on these future kings and queens, but they could make them heirs of their own humble kingdom if God should so direct them. Two such princes came to be with the family during the time of year when the days are longest. They shared much laughter and conversation during their time together. The days were filled with games and festivities of the kind especially known for the The Last Best Place. During those precious few days, something magical began to occur. The family came under the spell of those two princes (who were brothers by the way) and their hearts revealed what God had already known - the seed planted by the fairy godparents had grown into love. The man and woman would seek to bestow the title of ‘son’ on the two princes. But first, the man and woman would need to be tested. The lads would have to return to their home country and could not know of the man and woman’s wishes for many months. During that time the man and his wife were questioned about their intentions and about their proposed title of ‘father’ and ‘mother’ to the princebrothers. Many of their friends and family wondered at them but always rallied to their aid. At last, when all the royal seals had been affixed to each royal decree, the man and woman were granted permission to offer their hearts and home to the princes. Oceans were crossed and the prince-brothers bade a fond farewell to their kingdom, castle and comrades. Once again, they have returned to The Last Best Place, this time as sons of the man and his wife and new brothers of the three children. Time has passed and the days have grown long again. The hearts of the man and woman are filled to overflowing with love that has not only grown, but is now blossoming. Every day they are thankful to the God who joins hearts across His world and to His agents, the fairy godparents. The End. To adopt an ‘older’ child is very much like a marriage in some ways, at least that is what we have found. Both the adoptive family and adopted children bring a lot of varied history and experience into the relationship. They may learn as much about each other as possible before the union, but really, little can be known until you are living together under the same roof. In fact, this union requires a real leap of faith for both parties, just like a commitment to marry. For us, the Summer Miracles program sponsored by The Sacred Portion Children’s Outreach offered the opportunity for a period of ‘courtship’, a time to ‘try one another on’. We were already a family with three adopted children when we met Craig and Jan Druckenmiller. Our first daughter had been with us since her birth (in Texas) and was now five years old. We adopted two more children as toddlers from Kazakhstan, and they were now five and six years old. We had heard about the Kidsave Summer Miracles program when we lived in Connecticut (we had moved there from Bozeman in 2000) and were intrigued that many children from Kazakhstan had found adoptive families in Bozeman through this program. When we moved back to Bozeman in 2003, we began to meet some of these families. Since we were slightly more comfortable with adopting non-infants now, we were eager to meet Craig and Jan when they arrived at our church to give a presentation on SPCO’s upcoming 2004 summer program. Continued on page 12 11 before Christmas, 2004. Because they were older, they had to ‘agree’ to be adopted by us. They said yes, and we spoke by phone a few days later. The conversation was awkward but happy, and we were so relieved that they finally knew how much we wanted them back in our home. Things went very quickly after that and, by mid March, the boys were home, this time for good. Continued from page 11 The idea of adopting ‘older’ children was a bit intimidating, but hosting a child for a month was well within our comfort zone. Although we went into the hosting experience with the hope that it would lead to adoption, we knew that we were under no obligation to make our arrangement permanent. We chose to host two boys, brothers ages nine and twelve from the Philippines. From the description we were given, they seemed so well-rounded, funny, and interesting. In their pictures they were all smiles. But a nine and a twelve year old? What about birth order? You’re not supposed to mess with that, right? Well, we had already interrupted birth order with a previous adoption, and we could find no hard evidence that doing so presented any more challenges than adding a new baby to the family. Nearly every family we spoke with who had adopted an older child or children had interrupted birth order with only minor, expected adjustments. So for us, it was mainly a time of seeing the desire and ability from all involved to solidify as a family. 12 We eagerly awaited the boys arrival and our younger children looked forward to having big brothers for the summer. The boys slid easily into our family life and, because their English was so good, we had very few p r o b l e m s c om m un i c a t i n g . Within a week or so, we realized that the descriptions and pictures of the boys we had clung to prior to their arrival were inadequate. These children were so much more than words or pictures; they were real people with needs and dreams. We wanted to give them their hearts’ desires of finding an adoptive family since bringing them into our family had become our heart’s desire. Midway through the summer program, we committed to moving forward with a formal adoption. The boys had to return to the Philippines while we went through the process of paperwork and approvals. They could not know of our wishes until a certain level of approval had been reached. In the meantime, we had the privilege of staying in touch with them by e-mail. They were finally told that we wanted to adopt them shortly Because of the wonderful care they received at the Children’s Shelter of Cebu in the Philippines, they have made the transition to family life much easier than we would have thought possible for children ages ten and thirteen. With five children, our family dynamic changes constantly, with each child getting a chance to form attachments with one another. They each have different roles to fill depending upon age, interests, length of time in the family, etc. After having lived together for a month last summer, we saw each other’s good, bad and ugly sides, so there have been no real surprises. Like a marriage, our relationship will grow and change and constantly need to be worked on to stay healthy. But we are grateful to God, that in His providence, we are bound together as a family - forever. Tim and Kim Mason are the proud parents of Olivia (6), adopted May ‘99, Dauren (7) and Ruthie (6), adopted November ‘01, John Joseph (13) and ReyCarlo(10), adopted March ‘05. AID TO ORPHANS IN MADAGASCAR UPDATE By Annie DeMeij Life in Madagascar continues to be a struggle for the poorest people. This past rainy season was difficult to endure. Maholy, our project leader, had to skirt around many washed out roads to find and deliver enough food for the children. Meanwhile, the rice growing region of Madagascar is suffering from a drought. All of this along with a government that is trying to convert from a socialist system to a free market adds up to a devastating rise in food costs. Food prices rose by 51% in one year! That is impossible to compensate for. So many families are struggling and hungry. The latest hardship is electrical cuts. The electrical company is hurt by the high fuel costs used to make electricity and the people cannot pay the difference in an already impossible situation. Businesses cannot survive, hospitals and clinics are brought to their knees. Fortunately, our projects do not depend on electricity. The Miantso Center, which is one of AOM’s feeding sites, still cooks with coal and does not have electricity. At T a n g a i n a orphanage, another feeding site, there are only three rooms with one electric bulb each. Despite the difficulties ever present, Maholy finds a way to feed as many children as he can with what funds we send him. He squeezes every penny and makes it all work. His wife, Tiana, is a very warm and loving person who visits with the children and mothers them. She brings her own adopted daughter, Oceanne, along with her and considers the children at Tangaina and Miantso as family. Tangaina Orphanage The past five years of support from all of our contributors has had a long term positive effect. The money given for fruit trees and garden seeds, a garden wall and a small chicken project at Tangaina have helped to balance some of the food costs. The trees have matured and now bear healthy fruit, the c h i c k en h ouse i s b e i n g converted for egg laying hens and the garden provides for a few vegetables which are grown in every free square inch of space. Sponsorship of a third of the children at Tangaina orphanage has also been very critical in covering the sharp rise in food costs. All the sponsorship contributions are being used for food at this time. The children are healthy and that is everything. Continued on page 14 13 Continued from page 13 Miantso Center This past holiday season we had a fantastic response to the giving cards. Many people chose to give a gift to AOM in honor of friends and relatives. Children at Miantso Center had three festive meals, which are the best gifts imaginable. The children ate well and all were merry. Seven sewing machines were gifted to the mothers of Miantso who had completed a six month sewing course. These mothers are mostly illiterate and have only domestic work skills or manual labor skills. They could not support themselves or their children who were diagnosed as malnourished. These newly trained mothers were able to start their own businesses. Through AOM, our goal is to continue to implement projects that are sustainable approaches to poverty and malnutrition. One of the long terms projects that we have in mind is to develop a community garden that would be tended to and run by street children. We would also like to assist older orphans in learning to live on their own by helping them acquire property that they can farm. Your support to Aid to Orphans in Madagascar has been critical by simply supplying enough to eat and grow on. Without you, the children would be hungry, probably malnourished and ill. The frail ones would have died. In addition, I am continually grateful and amazed at what a big difference donations such as seeds and sewing machines can make for people who are struggling to survive and need to have a means by which to sustain themselves. We take so much for granted but these are gifts of life for children of Madagascar and their families. 14 AOM Needs Airplane Tickets: Frequent flyer t i c k et s al l t h e w ay t o Madagascar are now only 80,000 frequent flier miles after September. If you have miles you would like to donate towards the cost of an airline ticket, this would be so appreciated. It has been three years since I have traveled to Madagascar. I want to meet with officials about the closing of adoption in Madagascar which occurred after a baby selling ring was discovered. I would like to see if we can be a positive influence and help with establishing new adoption policies. I would also like to look into the cost of houses now that the dollar is finally stronger. Miantso Children’s Center is sinking into the mud and the walls are falling down. We need to determine whether it would be better to repair the building, rent another facility or buy a property with land for gardens. Orphan Vacation: While contemplating camps and activities for my daughter this summer, I realized that the children of Tangaina have never had a vacation even though they live on an island with white sandy beaches. It is winter now on the other side of the equator and the sea level beaches are perfect. If they stay at Tangaina they get sick and catch colds from being all crammed together on chilly school holidays. For $500 we could rent a mini bus and drive them off to a beach and warmth for at least a week. I think of all the hardships and losses the children have experienced and I wish for them some delight and childhood playtime. Imagine that gift! If you would like more information on Aid to Orphans in Madagascar or are interested in child sponsorship, please contact Annie DeMeij, founder and director at: Aid to Orphans in Madagascar 13670 Lone Bear Road Bozeman, MT 59715 (406) 587-3012 ON BECOMING A FAMILY - PART 2 Stray Cats and Broken Wings By Jan Druckenmiller Two years ago I wrote an article for this newsletter that shared our varied bonding experiences with our adopted children. My purpose in doing so was to paint a realistic picture for people who might be considering adoption. I felt it was important for people to realize that adoption is not always a storybook experience and that bonding with a child is a process that sometimes takes time and grace. We are still on that journey and here is a continuation of our story. Daughter #1 As I write this piece, it is a mere four days before we board a plane with our oldest daughter to fly to Korea. We will be joining thirty other families for a motherland tour for Korean adoptees. It is something we had always planned to do and now that our daughter has graduated from high school, we are finally going. We will spend twelve days seeing the sights and experiencing the culture and people of Korea. But more importantly, this trip is an opportunity for our daughter to discover her roots and connect with her past. As her adoptive parents, we are bonded strongly enough to allow her to do that. We will meet the foster mother who cared for her during the first five months of her life, visit the clinic were she was born and meet with a social worker who will open our daughter’s file to answer any questions she has about her birth family. It will be an exciting time that carries with it the potential for emotional issues to arise that have lain dormant within our daughter’s heart. We honestly don’t know what to expect but will be by her side to support her in whatever way she needs. Daughter #2 Daughter #2 continues to be on e of th ose st oryb ook experiences where, after the initial bump of adjustment, love and bonding came as naturally as with a birth child. I think that she knows that she has been an easy child and holds herself to that standard. Any disharmony that occurs between us is crushing to her. She is like a fragile blossom easily blown away by a mild gust of wind. Daughter #2 is tightly woven into the fabric of our family but needs hugs and reassurance that love remains constant even when her behavior isn’t perfect and that, in fact, it doesn’t always need to be. Daughter #3 Daughter #3 was the roughhewn one and for the first year of our life together I felt like the directress of a “finishing” school. Prior to coming to us, she obviously had no one to teach her even the beginning forms of etiquette. Long gone are the days when that chubby preschooler slurped her food and sneezed green bloogers all over my photos and scrapbooking materials. She is now tall and slim, lovely and refined. But best of all, she has become genuine. She has learned to genuinely love us and has genuinely embraced us as her family. She is a genuinely nice person who loves to be helpful and do for others. She remembers directions when I don’t know where to turn and keeps me from leaving my purse in the restaurant. I have no doubt as to who will be attending to my needs in my elder years! This past fall I visited a relative in the hospital who was dying from cancer. Her adopted daughter had been faithfully at her side through her illness and I was touched by the deep rooted love that was evident between them. As ungenuine as our relationship began with Daughter #3, she is a testament of hope and change. Daughter #4 Daughter #4 is as cute as can be with a natural wave in her hair that makes it go wild in a way that matches her tomboyish energy and bounce. She comes from the ancestral stock of Genghis Khan and there is a primitive strength about her that I feel when she slips her sturdy little hand into mine. This bright spark of a child has been the test of my soul. She exhibits many behaviors that are non-moral issues but nevertheless annoy and frustrate to no end. Shirts smeared with mud, clothes stuffed in places other than drawers, toys lost or broken after the first day of use, and the list goes on. More concerning is that her behaviors extend into the moral arena of lying, sneaking and cheating. Consequences have not seemed to deter repeated offenses which has caused us to look deeper. We have learned some interesting things about brain development in early infancy as related to Continued on page 16 15 Stray Cats and Broken Wings interaction and response patterns that normally occur between parent and child during this very critical and formative stage of life. In addition to impulsivity that seems to override any rational thought process and a delay in the development of a social conscience, Daughter #4 exhibits other behaviors characteristic of children where things didn’t get wired up quite right in the frontal lobe area of the brain. It makes sense when we look at the facts. All of our other adopted children spent their beginnings either with a birth family or foster family where we assume there was a certain degree of interaction and attachment to cause this proper brain wiring. Daughter #4 is our only child who was in an orphanage from birth. Drawing that parallel confirms to us the damaging effects of institutionalization on children, particularly during the first few years of life. But, in our case, there is hope. The brain can be retrained given the right training ground. So, we are currently conducting boot camp in our home. As the sergeant, I have failed miserably and, consequently, have also enlisted in training. While Daughter #4 is being trained in responsibility and trustworthiness, I am being trained in heart issues. Through a dear friend who has served as a spiritual counselor and mentor, I have come to see that I have created an idol of what I want Daughter #4 to be. While what I desire for her is good regarding honesty and other worthy character traits, I have let that desire become more important than wanting her to see the character of God in me in terms of patience and long suffering. We have spent moments together on the floor with tears flowing 16 Continued from page 15 down our cheeks asking for each other’s forgiveness. For her, forgiveness for what she has done wron g. For me, forgiveness for my wrong response. Our goal at this point is to be able to send Daughter #4 into the future with a secure love based on grace. The same type of grace-based love that God the Father gives to us. It is not a love that condones her wrong behavior. But it is a love that accepts the nuances of the unique and special child that she is. It is a love that forms a bond that can’t be broken no matter how many wrong choices she makes. Daughter #5 When I was a child I had an attraction to stray cats and birds with broken wings. Perhaps it was a foreshadowing of what my life would eventually become. My mode of operation was that I would coax a stray cat home and then tell my parents that it had “followed” me. Because my dad had asthma and an allergy to cats, I wasn’t allowed to bring them into the house. So, I would prepare a cardboard box with a blanket and set it out on the porch along with food and water. Upon encountering an injured bird, I would likewise fill a box with grass to make a soft bed and keep watch, dripping water into the bird’s mouth with an eyedropper, naively confident that it would survive. Of course, I was devastated when the birds died (which they usually did) and the stray cats moved on. If my husband wasn’t the stop gap, we would probably have a house full of stray cats and birds with broken wings. And yet, he said yes to adopting one more time. We met Krista last summer when she came to Bozeman with a group of children from the Philippines for Summer Miracles 2004. We didn’t intend to host a child. But when Krista’s first host family situation didn’t work out, we felt obligated, as coordinators of the summer program, to take her into our home for the duration of her stay. Believing that there was another a d o p t i on p l a n o u t t h er e somewhere for Krista, I kept my emotional distance, meeting her physical needs and acting as chauffeur to the summer camp activities. As we grew to really like her, thoughts of adoption began to creep in. I pushed those thoughts away, rationalizing that Krista was one of millions of orphans in this world and, obviously, “we can’t take them all.” Yet, after holding her hand through two hours of dental procedures, observing her joy at learning to ride a bike at the age of 11, and having her sob in my arms when I escorted her back to her orphanage in Cebu, Krista suddenly wasn’t one of millions. She was Krista, and a very lovely girl at that. We felt committed to seeing that she had a family. We continued our advocacy efforts on her behalf, giving God time and space to work. When no other family was forthcoming, we requested that the social worker at Krista’s orphanage counsel with her as to how she felt about being adopted by our family. Krista’s answer was affirmative. On June 17th, we received word that we have been approved by the Intercountry Adoption Board of the Philippines to adopt Krista. Although we have experienced adoption of an infant, toddler, preschooler and school age child, this will be our first teenage adoption. It’s an undeniable risk as we don’t know what underlying issues we might encounter in this child who spent a few short weeks in our home last summer. We can only hope that the bond of affection that we experienced with her will continue and t h at he r p e rma n ent adjustment into our family will be as effortless as it was when she stayed with us. Riding the Crest The decision to adopt again was a difficult one as our family did not present a united front. Our younger children loved Krista when she stayed with us and are excited to have her as part of our family. Our two adult children, however, feel that enough is enough. Our biological son, age 26, is thick as thieves with our oldest daughter because they grew up together. He has made an admirable effort to bond with his younger sisters but it has been a challenge for him since they came along after he was already out of the home. He doesn’t hesitate to voice his opinion that the life we lead is a crazy one. Recently, after having lunch together in which I shared some long range goals for our family, he qualified that with a very sweet statement that he “has come to love our craziness.” I would prefer to term it “purpose drivenness.” After all, we passed our preadoptive psychological exam with flying colors so the crazy label doesn’t apply. We did get into an enlightening discussion, however, with the psychologist regarding the zones in which people live their lives. His assessment of us as a married couple is that we live in the yellow zone, riding the crest of the wave. He stated that it’s an admirable place to be as people who live in the yellow zone are usually affecting positive change in the world. But it’s also a risky place to be because taking on too much can sometimes plunge you over the crest into the red zone with the danger of sinking. I pondered this analogy for several days after our session with the psychologist, as it seemed to ring so true. I’ve been in the red zone before and have had to learn to throw myself a life preserver. There are times when I long to retreat to the green zone, the smoother, calm water behind the crest. And yet, I know I would not stay there for long. I would be back riding the crest. There are too many stray cats to feed and broken wings to mend. For more information on the Sacred Portion Children’s Outreach visit our web site at www.sacredportion.org. You can learn more about the various focuses of the ministry and current projects, read past newsletters or get adoption information. 17 Our Contributors Gifts Received from 9/17/04—7/15/05 General Daniel & Stacy Fox Evangelical Free Church Gaston Engineering and Surveying, PC Phil & Cindy Bruckner Coleman Charitable Trust/Mike & Carol Coleman Mr. & Mrs. Roger Van Dyken Charles & Carol Kankelborg Mike & Joni Westfall Steven Fladhammer & Robin Zetzer Fred & Jan Schweitzer John & Harriet Tamminga (in honor of Janet Bonnema) Anne Lucille Middel (in honor of John & Harriet Tamminga) Gregory & Monica Shouse (in honor of Joel & Claudia Shouse) The Henry Charles & Jane Graves Otten Foundation Joel & Claudia Shouse (in honor of Greg & Monica Shouse) Don & Ramona Linabary Harry Armstrong/Half Circle Ranch Jim & Leslie Drummond Tim & Marybeth Adams Mary Karen Grande Dave & Molly Thompson John & Kate Mickus Art & Joy Shellenberg Eric Wandishin Danielle Frost Keith Flannigan/Aspen Properties Paul & Arlene Wylie C.R. Bard Foundation, Inc. Stacy Hostetter Mike & Kathy Pollard Jeff & Pam Thompson B.W.A.G./Bozeman Women Activity Group Birthday Club Kathryn Ricardi Tim & Joan VanNatta ******************************** Howard & Lucille Hendrickson Sam & Becky Hubbert John & Mary Robbins A Grateful Thanks also goes to those contributors who have chosen to remain anonymous. Thankyou! Most of the contributions coming in these days are designated for specific projects. We rejoice over this as it indicates to us that people have found a place of giving within our ministry that matches their heart. Yet, we still need to buy stamps, pay the phone bill, print our newsletters and provide a small salary for the hands that keep things going. We started this ministry with a reserve of funds from a previous business which has carried the general operation of the organization. Now, after six years, that reserve is nearly depleted. We are grateful to those people who have allowed us to use their contributions as we see fit. Yet, we still need to develop more of a regular support base for the general fund that we can count on. We need some friends to come alongside us who would have a heart for supporting our general fund on a monthly, quarterly or annual basis. We would hope that this kind of giving is viewed as equally noble since the general fund is the backbone of the organization and, without it, we cannot operate. If you are interested in becoming a regular supporter of this ministry, please use the form on the back page of this newsletter to let us know your intentions. 18 Our Contributors Gifts Received from 9/17/04—7/15/05 Child Sponsorship Clayton & Gail Wells Jerry & Shawn Cole Philip & Greta Clark Rehoboth’s Children’s Home Jeff & Wendy Brown Otto & Mary Stein National Christian Foundation Steve & Kris Vandyken Chris & Gay Passano Joe & Alyssa Nardinger Steve Gipe & P. Baird Godvin Billie Warford Daniel & Alice Nice Tim & Wendy Hiebert Jeff Van Dyken Longhorn Development, LLC/ Mike & Kathy Pollard Jack & Tana Devine Deb Schulz A Gift of Confirmation The demise of our summer hosting program this year, which you can read about in this newsletter, was a great discouragement to us. Last summer was a pinnacle year for the Summer Miracles program in every way and it has been so difficult to understand why God would allow this to happen when we clearly know His heart for the “fatherless.” Walking is my main mode of exercise and it also serves as a prayer time for me with the Father. Of course, I gave Him an earful regarding my disappointment over the unforeseen turn of events that was occurring with the summer program. In fact, I acted quite childishly and told Him that I could just hang up the whole ministry and go back to my self focused life that I used to lead. The next day, a neighbor called who had friends visiting from out of town. They wanted to come over and talk to us about the ministry. I assumed it had something to do with interest in possibly hosting a child. Instead, this couple whom we had never met before, sat in our family room and proceeded to tell us that they had felt led to give their tithe from the sale of their home to our ministry. They had perused everything on our web site and felt that this was where God was directing them to give their money. They also said that they were aware, from reading a copy of our holiday mailing archived on the web site, that we were in need of support for our general fund. Thus, they were giving the money with no strings attached, trusting us to use it as we saw fit. I accepted their gift with humble gratitude, remembering my attitude the previous day. This unexpected encounter was such a confirmation to me that God does indeed care about this ministry and wants it to continue. He has not forsaken us even in time of trouble. We entrusted this ministry to God at its inception and have relied on Him to mold it into what He would have it to be. We don’t know where this current string of events will take us, but we have to believe that God has something in mind that we cannot yet see. For God’s gifts and call are irrevocable (Romans 11:29) God does not change His mind with reference to His call. Even though we may presently be in a state of unbelief, God’s purpose will be fulfilled. 19 Our Contributors Gifts Received from 9/17/04—7/15/05 Timothy & Tina Visscher The International Foundation Geoffrey Black Jerene Mortenson & Kari Thiesen George & Eleanor Peckham Andrew & Nora Martin Al & Brook Cunningham Jeffrey Arntsen K.T. Janney & R. Chandrasekar Lila Bishop William & Elsa Howard Jan Demeij Joan Peckham Darrell Conklin Mary Ellen King The Leaf & Bean/Balerno Corporation Chris & Gay Passano Otto & Mary Stein Aid to Orphans in Madagascar Nona Bennett National Christian Foundation Hobart & Martha Collins Edwin Danenhauer, CPA Roger & Patricia Holm Jacquie Poisson Persons Greg Mortenson & Tara Bishop Pilgrim Congregational Church Women’s Fellowship Horace & Penny Dodge Doug & Susan Mavor James & Mary Harris Ross & Julia Bruner Deborah Klein Duncan & Jennifer Moran Heartland Monthly Meeting/ Helen Alexander Thomas & Nichole Reier Arete Foundation Tom & Melani Burnett Robert Kasmer & Catherine Cooper Shelley Watters & Steven Malmberg Sharon Baker Sara Williams James & Marie Mitchell Deloss Taylor Charitable Trust Linda Pierce Hooley Farms/Gene & Mary Hooley Mary Reier Susan Bianchini Deborah Klein Michele Carriel Deanna Popp Sarah Young Andrew Deutscher Margaret Bennet Jack Hargis The West Foundation, Inc. 20 Thank you so much for feeding the hungry children of Madagascar and financing projects to sustain life in this very poor country. Adoption Assistance Gifts Received from 9/17/04—7/15/05 Charles & Karen White Kate & CD Forrest Larry & Jeanne Johnson Judith Worley David & Tamys Hoffman Cal & Lisa Doerksen Bruce & Rebecca Ruefer Steve & Christie Schlumbohm Bryan & Darcie Capdeville Randy & Margo Kirchoff Ken & Sandra Bowers Len & Cindy Ramsey Eric Wandishin Norm & Vicki Millikin Mike & Bonnie Burgard Darrell Conklin John & Susanna Graves Jill & Jesse Chase Don & Ramona Linabary National Christian Foundation Valerie Brown Craig & Jan Druckenmiller Rebecca Lockie William & Donna Hawley George Carson, DDS Greg & Bobbi Lovegren Keith & Cindy Aune Maurice & Polly Burke John & Jane Phillips Kathy Tyers Keith & Marlene Stearns Charles & Carol Kankelborg Ryan Billing Michael Sidders & Lane Wraith Christian Center Tim & Cheryl Tuscan Richard Barber Homes In October of 2004, we received a $10,000 grant from the Gilhousen Family Foundation for our Adoption Assistance Fund. In addition to this generous gift, the Gilhousen Foundation offered us a $5,000 challenge grant, doubling any gift to the Adoption Assistance Fund of up to $250 per giving unit. We are pleased to announce that we were able to meet the $5,000 challenge grant and that we have received these matching funds! ADOPTION ASSISTANCE FUND Some people have a God-given desire in their heart to adopt a child but do not have the financial resources to do so. Others may not have the desire or feel called to adopt but have the financial resources to help facilitate an adoption for another family. Our Adoption Assistance Fund provides a mechanism to match up the funds with the families. To date, we have been able to provide financial assistance in the form of interest-free loans and grants to five families. Adoption can be expensive, costing anywhere from $10,000 to $30,000. Most families will be able to take advantage of the $10,000 adoption tax credit in the tax year following when their adoption is finalized. The difficulty can be, however, in coming up with the funds to pay for their adoption expenses as the family goes through the process leading up to that finalization. The Adoption Assistance Fund provides interest-free loans to families to help them front the cost of their adoption. As families receive the benefit of the tax credit the loans are paid back, and the money can then be given to help other families. In this regard, the Adoption Assistance Fund becomes a self-replenishing fund. Some families, however, do not pay enough income tax to benefit from the tax credit. For those families, grants are a more appropriate form of assistance. For families who may receive some, but not the full benefit of the adoption tax credit, a combination of a grant and loan is a solution. If you would like to make a contribution to the Adoption Assistance Fund, please send your check made payable to: The Sacred Portion Children’s Outreach 7104 Bristol Lane Bozeman, MT 59715 Please make a notation on your check that it is for Adoption Assistance. We will provide you with a tax-deductible receipt. THANK YOU! 21 Our Summer Miracles Contributors Gifts Received from 9/17/04—7/15/05 Financial Contributors Barnard Construction, Inc./ Tim & Mary Barnard John & Jane Phillips Bill & Louise Keightley Laurel United Methodist Church Youth Fellowship Bob & Megan Spring Montana Homes of Belgrade Danielle Frost The Wood Shed Kenneth & Karen Walsh Video Shoppe Gabor & Susan Benda Bridger Fence Darrell Conklin Lee & Dads Montana Gift Corral F-11 Lance Casey Featherstone Mill Antiques Van Dyke Angus Ranch/Keith & Evelyn Van Dyke Bridger Accounting Muriel Koenes Harry Armstrong/Half Circle Ranch Pam Spinelli The following businesses generously sponsored our Summer Miracles ad in the Mini Nickel and gave a cash donation: Jack & Tana Devine Gilbert & Theresa Schmit Dell & Holy Fuller Robert Hughes & Robin Morris Ron & Karla Edwards Steve & Linda Ough Stuart & Kim Howard Kenneth & January Lambeth Robert & Laura Underkofler Hogin Machine/Jim & Renee Hogin Philip & Barbara Hoberecht Doug & Susan Mavor Mike & Toni Hickman Richard Cole & H.E. Lindblom-Cole Judith Worley 22 We Care Chiropractic Land West All Paws Great and Small Speedy Print UPS Store Fireplace Center Zigs Building Materials Lonn Counts & Associates Outwest Furniture Lux Transfer & Storage Party On Dr. Scott Lawson Radio Shack Interwest Tire County Market Grannie Irene’s Attic Big Country Landscape Automatic Transmission Americinn Aspen Properties Arts on Fire Andy’s Glass Big Time Inflatables Action Pawn Butte Dental Arts Gallatin Valley Furniture Frost Excavation New Look Floral Dahl Auto Body Thank you so much for your support of Summer Miracles! Our Miracles Makers Auction Contributors We had over 150 donors who gave items for our Miracle Makers auction fundraiser on April 15. A number of businesses also donated inkind services or gave a discount on goods and/or services. A very heartfelt thanks goes out to these individuals and businesses who graciously helped to make the auction a success: All Patched Up Mary Sadowski/Bear Canyon Cabin Bear Canyon RV Park/Campground Bellisimo Belly Bequet Confections Bid Sky Carvers Big Sky Resort Bloom/Bev Coughlin Bobcat Athletics Bozeman Daily Chronicle Bozeman Icedogs Bozeman Sew and Vac Bozeman TV & Appliance Bridger Creek Golf Course Ann Brigham Bucketmouth Productions Stan & Lois Burgard Tim Burke Burns Telecom Center Cantrell’s/Holiday Inn Carter’s Cobbler Shoppe, Inc. Jamin & Tanis Casey Cashman Nursery Catherine Lane Interiors/Bozeman Doug & Holly Chapman Clear Channel Radio Clay Biz Pottery/Mardella Brock Jerry & Shawn Cole Color World Printers Comfort Inn/Bozeman Conlins Furniture Costco Wholesale Country Flower Shop Country Kitchen Culligans Curves for Women TransAria/Larry Lee Jack & Tana Devine Jim Dolan Downtown Antiques Kelly Fedge DuBose Tim & JoAnna Dumas Faces Family Dermatology Gretchen Fellerhoff-White Ferraro’s Fine Italian Restaurant Fiddlehill Music/Tom Robison Floral Boutique Floral Express Frontier Pies Fuddruckers Gallery & Frame Center Garage Soup Shack Great Panes Window Washing Hair It Is/Mary Jean Gaskill & Angela Cliningsmith Half Circle Ranch/Harry Armstrong Hands On, Inc. Heart & Soul Herbs Helly Hansen Von & Elke Helmuth Don Heyden Hot Shots Felicia Hutchinson I-Ho’s Korean Grill J & H Office Equipment J.L. Walsh Metalsmith JC Penney Styling Salon Jeni Fleming Acoustic Trio Johnny Carino’s Larry & Nancy Johnson KL Solutions/Ken & Lorene Schmit KGVW Radio Kamp Implement Kathy Lange (Graphic Design) Kmart Kwik Kopy Printing Roberta LaShelle Lee & Balyeat, CPAs/Charles Lee Leslie’s Hallmark Don & Ramona Linabary Liten Hus Livingston Floral Looie’s Down Under Dan & Arlene Lubbers Lloyd & Craig Mandeville Michele Oakland Originals Tim & Kim Mason McSpadden Photography, Inc. John Mickus Midwest Industries Millikin Consulting, Inc. Missouri River Flower Co. Montana Aircraft, Inc. Montana Expressions Montana Trails Gallery Montana Woolen Shop Mountain Arts Pottery Mountain Lodge Home Furnishings Murdoch’s Museum of the Rockies New Look Floral Old Main Gallery & Framing Don & Annette Osen Owenhouse Ace Hardware Paintbrush Therapeutic Massage Papa Murphy’s Pizza Pat’s Pet Parlor Pella Windows Moira Pennell Pepsi-Cola of Bozeman/Livingston Phillips Hardwood Floors, Inc. Posie Patch Rent-a-Center Rocky Mountain Design Interiors Rocky Mountain Roasting Co. Rocky Mountain Rug Gallery Rosa’s Pizza Bruce & Rebecca Ruefer Mike Ryan Savory Olive Schmit Construction Schnee’s Boots & Shoes Kathy Schretenthaler Aaron Schuerr J. Scott Senator Conrad Burns Simkins-Hallins Lumber Co. Sir Scott’s Oasis Larry & Wendy Sonnenberg Sterling Imports/Uganda Orphans Fund Stix Yarn Shop Stone’s Maytag & Home Appliance Jackie Stonnell Summit Aviation, LLC Taylors’s Professional Cleaning Terrell’s Office Machines, Inc. Treasure State Oil Co. Roger & Mary Ann Van Dyken Sandi Van Middendorp Visser Greenhouse Wal-Mart Westscape Nursery Wheeler Mountain Metal Art/Jim Thompson WHO’s Conservation Enhancements World Boards, Inc. Yellowstone Bees, Inc. Yellowstone Harley-Davidson 23 Name _________________________________ Address _______________________Phone ___________ FINANCIAL SUPPORT I would like to support this ministry in the amount of $ ___________ r monthly r quarterly r annually r general r special projects r adoption assistance fund OTHER NEEDS r I am interested in serving on the Board of Directors of SPCO. * r I would like to help make teaching materials or with other hands-on tasks. r I am interested in joining a work team on an overseas mission. r I will commit to praying for this ministry. The Sacred Portion Children’s Outreach is seeking to expand its Board of Directors. This commitment involves attending a two hour meeting approximately every two to three months and some possible time on special projects. If you have a heart for orphans, an interest in adoption issues, or an area of expertise such as grant writing or fund raising, please consider this opportunity to serve. For more information call 586-5773. Please return to: The Sacred Portion Children’s Outreach 7104 Bristol Lane Bozeman, MT 59715 e-mail: [email protected] web site: www.sacredportion.org The Sacred Portion Children’s Outreach 7104 Bristol Lane Bozeman, MT 59715 (406) 586-5773 NONPROFIT ORG. U.S. POSTAGE PAID BOZEMAN MT PERMIT NO. 160 CHANGE SERVICE REQUESTED SPCO Board of Directors Craig Druckenmiller, Jan Druckenmiller, Linda Heydon, Rebecca Ruefer, Elsa Geist, Sandi Van Middendorp, Lorene Schmit, Ramona Linabary, Jeff VanDyken