Feb. 2016 - Island Sand Paper

Transcription

FREE
February 2016
What’s there to do on the beach?
A Publication of The Island Sand Paper, Fort Myers Be ach, Florida
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SAND LIFE
February 2016
SAND LIFE
February 2016
page 3
Welcome to February on Fort Myers Beach!
February on Fort Myers Beach
is a magical time. Not only is the weather
absolutely perfect while everyone else in
the country is busy digging themselves out
from under heaping mounds of snow, but
there is also love amongst those balmy
breezes, and the happy energy spreads
throughout the island inspiring lovers
both young and old. Plus there are so
many things to do in February! Check the
following pages - each day is chock full of
great ideas. Here are some highlights:
PARROT KEY’S MONTHLY
MONDAY CAR SHOW for February is
going to be the biggest one yet – with an
expanded area for 50 more cars plus the
addition of newer classics, be sure and
head to San Carlos Island on Feb 1st.
Want to get jazzy? You won’t
want to miss the FORT MYERS BEACH
FRIENDS OF THE ARTS CONCERT
SERIES’ FLORIDA SOUTHWESTERN
JAZZ ENSEMBLE on Feb. 11, featuring
some incredible musicians from Florida’s
newest university.
Check out some of the amazing
artists we have here on the island during
this month of love - the FORT MYERS
BEACH ART ASSOCIATION’S WINTER
JURIED ART SHOW is open until Feb.
19th, and their Spring Show opens on Feb.
22 at their gallery on Donora. Want to see
and hear some of our diverse and colorful
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
local talent? Check out the ‘FT. MYERS
BEACH’S GOT TALENT’ competition on Monthly Entertainment Guide, pg 4
Feb. 13 in Santini Plaza.
Valentine Day Idea, pg 5
For a truly unique experience,
commune with nature during the FRIENDS
Estero Blvd Construction, pg 7
OF MATANZAS PASS PRESERVE’S BY
New
Tours at Mound House, pg 9
THE LIGHT OF THE MOON WALK on
Woodpeckers, pg 13
Feb 22nd.
Valentine’s Day is on Saturday
Strolling the Shoreline, pg 17,18
this year, and married couples can be
Dining Out Guide, pg 17,18
part of a wonderful vow renewal tradition
at Lover’s Key. Check out the LOVE AT
Piano Man: Larry Maas, pg 19
LOVER’S KEY event for a romantic day
Beach Etiquette, pg 21
like no other.
THE
NEWLY
RENOVATED
Beach Map, pg 22, 23
MOUND HOUSE offers many options for
those who want to check out some island Downtown Redevelopment, pg 27
history, learn about our back bay waters by
Horoscopes, pg 30
participating in an eco-kayak tour or learn
Puzzles, pg 31, 37
how the Calusa used native wood to carve
Answers Puzzle, pg 38
the tools they needed to survive.
The above-mentioned events are
Funnies, pg 38
in addition to a plethora of kayak trips, arts
and crafts classes, yoga and much, much
COVER PHOTO
more offered in the month of February. So This month’s cover
photo is courtesy of Sandy
get out your dance card, folks and start
Sandness of Fort Myers Beach. When Sandy
filling it up!
is not walking the beach looking for beautiful
Keri Hendry Weeg
photographic subjects, she is the Advertising
Manager with the Island Sand Paper.
#4 ON BEACH MAP, PG 22
SAND LIFE
page 4
February 2016
The February 2016 Entertainment Guide
All Month
MOUND HOUSE
FORT MYERS BEACH
COMMUNITY POOL
2600 Oak Street. Open MO, WE,
FR & SA10am-6pm; SU Noon6pm. Water aerobics MO, WE &
FR 9am. Aqua Jogging SA 9am;
Swim Club, SA 10am. 463-5759
FORT MYERS BEACH ART
ASSOCIATION GALLERY
Open MO-SA, 10am-3pm; SU,
noon-3pm. Main Gallery: Winter
Juried Show closes Feb 19,
Spring Member Juried Show
opens Feb 22; Outdoor Painters
Group opens Feb 20. Located at
the corner of Donora and Shell
Mound. 463-3909.
BAY OAKS RECREATIONAL
CAMPUS
Free membership for all island
residents. Visitors welcome.
Open MO-SA with activities for
individuals and families. See Bay
Oaks or pick up a newsletter for a
full schedule. 239-765-4222.
HISTORIC COTTAGE
Island museum located at 161
Bay Rd, at the entrance to
Matanzas Pass Preserve, houses
a collection of artifacts, photos
and memorabilia of life on Estero
Island. Open WE and SA10amNoon.
Experience Florida’s natural and
cultural history where Estero
Island’s oldest standing structure
sits atop an ancient Calusa
Indian Mound. The Mound House
is a unique archaeological and
historical site on Fort Myers
Beach located directly on Estero
Bay and offers a variety of
programs for local residents,
visitors and school groups. The
William H. Case House is now
open - come see all the new
tours and check out the museum
store! Grounds open sunrise to
sunset at no charge; Open TUSA, 9am-4pm.
FORT MYERS BEACH
LIBRARY Books, newspapers,
magazines, Wi-Fi, Lots to see
and do. Visitor card available.
Hours: MO, TU, TH & FR
9am-5pm; WE 9am-7pm; SA
9am-1pm.
Monday,
February 1st
SPIN 61
8am, FMB Woman’s Club, 175
Sterling Ave. Join this indoor
spinning class for 60 minutes of
cardio and strengthening. Offered
MO & WE at 8am; TH at 6pm
& FR at 7:30am. $7/class. Sue
Anderson. 941-224-8467
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS
8:30, Aerobics; Advanced Yoga,
9am, Open Basketball, 6-9pm.
239-765-4222
WATER AEROBICS
9am, Beach Pool. Offered MO,
WE & FR. 239-463-5759
BEACH YOGA 9am, Access
22 (Connecticut Street). This is
an intermediate level Vinyasa
style class, bring a towel/mat,
water, sunglasses & sunscreen.
$10 to join, weather permitting.
Laura Paradiso, 203-305-1663.
lauraparadiso.com.
ABS 61 9:15am, FMB Woman’s
Club, 175 Sterling Ave. 30
min class offering intense and
challenging core training. Offered
MO, WE & TH at 9:15am. $5/
class. Sue Anderson 941-2248467
GARDEN CLUB 9-11:30am,
Beach Library. Community
Room A. Estero Island Garden
Club meets to discuss Leaf
Manipulation with uses in
Ikebana. New members
welcome. 239-765-8162
LIFE ALONG THE SHORE
9:30-11am. Bunch Beach
Preserve. Come along and
explore the shoreline with us
as we meander the San Carlos
Bay ecosystem and learn more
about the shoreline birds, shells,
animals and plants native to
this diverse preserve. Wear
comfortable clothing, shoes that
can get wet and bring water, bug
spray, binoculars and a camera.
Free, but parking is limited.
Offered every MO through March.
18201 John Morris Rd. www.
leeparks.org
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
ACTIVITIES 10am, Pickleball;
10am, Senior Fitness; Noon,
Dominoes; 12:30-3:30pm, Social
Bridge (at Chapel By the Sea).
239-765-4222
PILATES 10-11am, First Baptist
Church. Offered MO, WE & FR.
All ages and levels welcome.
Instructor Kristi West.
239-233-1114
SENIOR 61 CLASS
Sterling Ave. Get a full body
workout in this class that begins
with friendly spin bikes, offers
strengthening and toning and
ends with stretches. Offered MO,
WE & TH. 60 min. class. $7/
class. Instructor Sue Anderson
941-224-8467
Cont’d pg.6
This listing of local entertainment is provided as a FREE service to our community, with priority given to our advertisers and
local non-profit organizations. We require submission of event information for inclusion in this magazine by the 15th of the
preceding month. All listings are provided by entertainment venues and are subject to change.
To place your entertainment contact Keri Hendry Weeg at 239-463-4461 by the 15th of the prior month.
SAND LIFE
Published by The Island Sand Paper
An independently owned and operated island magazine.
Bob Layfield, Publisher
Missy Layfield, Editor
Keri Hendry Weeg, Associate Editor
Sarah List, Photographer
Mark List, Production Manager
Don Block, Circulation Manager
Sandy Sandness, Advertising
PHONE MAIL Office: 239 - 463- 4461
1661 Estero Blvd; Suite 4A
Ft. Myers Beach, Florida 33931
E-Mail WEBSITE [email protected]
fortmyersbeach.news
The Island Sand Paper encourages all Islanders to submit articles, photos and cartoons
for consideration for inclusion in future publications. All submissions will be evaluated as to
whether it relates to island life and is of interest to its readers.
COPYRIGHT 2015, 2016 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
No part of this magazine may be copied or reproduced without the
written permission of the Publisher of The Island Sand Paper.
ADDRESSES
Bay Oaks Recreation Campus, BORC
2731 Oak Street (behind Library)
Bowditch Point Park
50 Estero Blvd (north end of island)
Lynn Hall Memorial Park
950 Estero Blvd (Times Square)
Matanzas Park Preserve
199 Bay Road (behind library)
Newton Park
4650 Estero Blvd (near Publix on beach)
Mound House
289 Connecticut Street (on bay side)
SAND LIFE
February 2016
page 5
Valentines Day Ideas on Fort Myers Beach
Most folks celebrate Valentine’s Day by taking their
loved one out to dinner. While that is always a good idea
and we have amazing restaurants on Fort Myers Beach
offering great specials for a romantic dining experience,
we are fortunate enough here on a semi-tropical island to
offer less-traditional ways to celebrate that festival of love
in mid-February. Far removed from the frigid wintery North,
couples down here can take advantage of nature – after all,
what could be more romantic than a sunset framed by palm
trees? On Fort Myers Beach, the honeymoon never has to
end...
By far the neatest non-traditional way for wedded lovers to celebrate V-Day is the annual Vow Renewal
Ceremony at Lover’s Key. For only $75 a pair, couples can
enjoy a special event dedicated to the celebration of marriage – including full brunch or lunch, coffee, cake, desserts,
a champagne toast, dancing, socializing, a special gift and
door prizes and the renewal. The event is hosted by the
Friends of Lover’s Key (FOLKS) as a fundraiser for their
visitor’s center and is offered at two times on Valentine’s
Day – 10am and 3pm. Pre-registration is encouraged as this
event usually sells out. Call Event Chair Judy Greenwood at
708-359-0466 or email [email protected].
Not married but looking to seal the deal this Valentine’s Day? There are plenty of great proposal spots on
the island. Stroll out to the moon-kissed beach at Bowditch
Point and pop the question as the dolphins watch. Take
your honey out to the pavilion at Matanzas Pass Preserve
and ask for her hand surrounded by the pristine beauty of
unspoiled nature. Or simply wait until just before sunset and
#5 ON BEACH MAP, PG 22
draw your proposal in the sand as the sky explodes with
color.
Or maybe you’re just looking for a unique way to
celebrate Valentine’s Day. No problem, we’ve got you covered. For the more adventurous, try renting a jet ski or going
parasailing. It will be an experience you will both always
remember, plus those with friends and family up north can
enjoy watching them seethe with envy when the photos go
up on Facebook.
For those who love getting back to nature, rent a
kayak or canoe and enjoy a romantic paddle through our
beautiful back bay. Head out to Mound Key and spend the
day hiking around the island and learning the history of the
Calusas who once called this area home, or just spend the
day drifting amongst the mangroves, far from the hustle and
bustle of civilized life.
If kayaking is a little too adventurous but you still
want the boating experience, try renting a boat from one of
our area marinas or heading out on sunset cruises offered
by Good Time Charters at Snook Bight Marina; Sight Sea-R
Cruises at Salty Sam’s Marina; the Estero Bay Express pontoon boat at Fish Tale Marina or the island’s newest nautical
attraction – the Privateer Lynx.
On a budget or not into crowds? Sometimes the
best ideas are the simplest – grab a blanket and have a picnic dinner on the beach as the sun sets, then lay back and
hold your honey as you gaze at the stars.
And they say Virginia was made for lovers...
Keri Hendry Weeg
Cont’d from pg. 4
DRAWING 10:30am, Beach
Library. Community Room B. Join
Jeanette Swensen for an hour of
basic drawing. Bring hard dark
pencil, eraser and paper.
239-765-8162
COLORING 1pm, Beach
Library. Community Room B.
Rediscover the analog pleasures
of coloring inside the lines and
experience a bit of calming and
spirituality. Pre-register, $10
materials fee. 239-765-8162
THE MOTH 1:30pm, Beach
Library. Community Room A.
Porch stories from popular NPR
broadcast—life stories told. Video
& audio presentation.
239-765-8162
BINGO 2-5pm,
Valerie’s Lounge. 466-7788
CAR SHOW 5-7pm, Salty
Sam’s Marina. Hot rods, custom
trucks and classic cars. Biggest
car show yet - lot has been
expanded to fit an additional 50
cars. Expecting 150 cars this
month! Live music, food and drink
specials along with a number of
door prizes. Free and open to the
public. 239-463-3257.
SAND LIFE
YOGA 6pm, DiamondHead
Resort. Iyengar style yoga with
Susan Carter. All levels welcome.
$12. 209-1698
FLORIDA SOUTHWESTERN
UNIVERSITY BIG BAND
7pm, St. Peter Lutheran Church.
The concert features stylings
from the fabulous Big Band Era
with music from the 30’s and
40’s, performed by a 20-piece
group from FSW. Free, donations
accepted. 239-463-4251
DUKE ELLINGTON
ORCHESTRA 7:30pm, Shell
Point Village. The Duke Ellington
Orchestra has been performing
worldwide for the past 88 years
under the guidance of three
generations of the Ellington
family. $36, 239-454-2067
Open Inline Hockey. 239-7654222
Geo 5-8pm, The Outrigger
VOTER REGISTRATION
ASSISTANCE 9am-2pm,
Scotty Bryan
5-9pm, Petey’s Upper Deck
Sideshow Bob
5-9pm, Lani Kai Sun Deck
Jam Session
6-9pm, Cracker Box
Open Mic Jam Nite
6-9pm, Bonita Bills
Bob Bero
6:30-9:30pm, Dixie Fish House
Frank Torino
7-10pm, Parrot Key
WHO’S PLAYING WHERE:
Wendell Ray
8pm-11pm, Castaways
DJ TK 1-5pm; Steve Farst
Experience, 8:30pm-12:30am,
Lani Kai Beach Bars
3 Crooked Steps
9pm-1am, Cottage
Rob Matson, 1-5pm; Anthony
Wayne, 5-9pm, Pete’s Time Out
Briz & Lady, 2-5pm; Johnny
Walker, 6:30-10:30pm, La Ola
Pete Beard
1-5pm and 6-10pm, PierSide Grill
February 2016
Sam DeArmond
4-7pm, Bootleggers BBQ
Will Kiser 6-10pm, S
mokin Oyster Brewery
Tuesday,
February 2
PUMP 61 CLASS
7:30am and 6pm, FMB Woman’s
Club, 175 Sterling Ave. Sculpt
and define all muscles with this
60 min class using barbells,
plates and hand weights. $7/
class. Offered at 7:30am and
6pm TU & TH at 8am. Instructor
Sue Anderson, 941-224-8467
GUIDED BEACH WALK
9am. Newton Park, 4650
Estero Blvd. Explore the natural
treasures on Fort Myers Beach
through a free, guided walk along
the shore by Mound House staff
biologist and Florida Master
Naturalist, Parke Lewis. Wear
sunscreen, appropriate clothing,
shoes and hats. Approx.1 hour
long. 765-0865
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
ACTIVITIES 9am-Noon, Bocce;
10am; 6-9pm, Duplicate Bridge
(at Chapel By the Sea). 239-7654222
#23 on the map on pg 23
page 6
FLOW STYLE YOGA
9am, Bay Oaks - $10/member,
$12/non-members; 11am, on
the sand at Pink Shell Resort
- $10/person. All levels. Laura
Paradiso, 203-305-1663.
lauraparadiso.com.
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS
9am, Yoga; 9am, Body Sculpting;
6-9pm, Open Volleyball; 6pm,
Beach Library. Foyer. Election
Office representatives will be
here to answer questions, take
new voter registrations or make
changes or updates to your
current voter registration. 239765-8162
SANTINI SUNRISE FRESH
MARKET 9am-1pm, Santini
Marina Plaza. The Santini
Sunrise Fresh Market, located
in Santini Marina Plaza. This
family friendly market showcases
farm fresh produce, handmade
crafts and jewelry, delicious
food, live entertainment, and
local information about Fort
Myers Beach. The market is a
rain or shine event that operates
every Tuesday until Easter. New
vendors welcome, call Bonnie
Roberts at 239-433-8810. Every
dollar spent at the farmer’s
market is another dollar reinvested in the local economy!
CALOOSA CARVERS
DEMONSTRATION
9:30am-noon, Mound House.
Free and open to the public.
Featuring wood carving
demonstrations using several
replica artifacts from the Mound
House. 239-765-0865.
LINE DANCE CLASS
10:15am, Bay Oaks. Dance the
cha-cha, salsa, country music,
waltz and more! Offered every
TU & TH. 239-765-4222
BOOK SIGNING
10am-12pm, Annette’s Book
Nook, Santini Plaza. Tessa
Bridal, author of, “River of
Painted Birds.” Bridal is also
the author of, “The Tree of
Red Stars,” which won several
awards. “River of Painted Birds”
is being released in both English
and Spanish.
TODDLER TUESDAY
10-11am. Bay Oaks Recreational
Campus. A classroom and portion
of the gym will be dedicated to
those 4 and under. This is a drop
in program that allows parents
and their little ones a chance to
explore and play in a fun and
safe environment. 1st TU of
every month. Free/member; $4/
non-member. 239-765-4222.
ESTUARY KAYAK TOUR IN
ESTERO BAY
10am-1pm. Bonita Beach. Learn
about the wonders of America’s
only Mangrove Forest. See
herons, egrets, pelicans, osprey,
roseate spoonbills, dolphins,
manatees and
more. includes all Cont’d pg.10
February 2016
Those of you who
haven’t been to our island in
a few months are no doubt
wondering what’s going on.
Confronted with a maze
of Bob’s Barricades upon
coming over the bridge,
visitors to our island this
month will understandably
have questions. The most
important answer is, yes,
we are open for business
and what’s happening is
a long-needed water and
road improvement project
that will eventually benefit
everyone. And as with any
improvements that involve
a heavily-traveled roadway
like Estero Boulevard, there
will be some delays but local
businesses and the Town of
Fort Myers Beach are working
hard to ensure those delays
are minimal and our guests’
stay on the island remains a
pleasant one.
The first part of this
project, called ReFresh Fort
Myers Beach, actually broke
ground in 2013 when workers
began replacing the Town’s
aging – and often broken –
water system. Approved by a
huge majority of island voters
via referendum in 2008,
the project started with side
streets off of Estero Boulevard
and moved to the main road
in anticipation of Lee County’s
plans to upgrade Estero with
sidewalks, landscaping and
SAND LIFE
Progress in Paradise
What’s Going on With Estero Blvd?
water drainage. The second
part of the project, run by
Lee County (owner of Estero
Blvd.) is a reconstruction of
the boulevard itself - including
long-needed upgrades such
as sidewalks, bicycle paths,
new sewer lines and drainage
improvements.
The really good news
for February is that the first
phase of the Estero Blvd. part
of the waterline replacement
project is complete, as
workers have finished laying in
all the water pipes and a new
natural gas line between Time
Square and Lovers Lane. The
bottlenecks resulting from
alternating single lane traffic
in certain areas is now pretty
much resigned to memory, as
workers are able to keep two
lanes of traffic flowing while
they seal off the old water pipe
and make room for Florida
Power & Light to install new
poles.
Kaye
Molnar
of
Cella Molnar and Associates,
spokesperson
for
both
projects, told us that –
throughout the month of
February – the first part of
the county’s project – from
Crescent Street to Lovers
Lane - will be in full swing.
“During February, the county’s
crews will basically be doing
three things: continuing with
the installation of sanitary
sewer lines under Estero
Boulevard on the bay side;
then, once they get far enough
ahead, they will drop back and
remove the sidewalk in order
to install conduits for future
lighting and fiber optics under
the sidewalk area,” she said.
“Pretty quickly after that, they
will put the sidewalk back in. “
Once the new sewer
lines and conduits are in, the
county will go in and replace
the boulevard itself, complete
with all the additions – such as
bigger sidewalks – depicted
on the project’s website, www.
refreshfmb.com.
Molnar told us that
– except for unforeseen,
intermittent problems - two
lanes of traffic are kept open
at all times during this work,
and that pedestrians are rerouted to an adjacent newly
asphalted area to walk on
page 7
while the sidewalk is torn up.
The Town is working with
visitors,
residents
and
businesses
to
address
their
biggest
concerns
and schedule work hours
accordingly.
For
safety
reasons, much of the work
must be done during daylight
hours but work is halted on
weekends to make way for
visitors. Keep in mind that
the busiest traffic times are
between 3pm and 5pm, with
traffic relatively light the rest
of the day usually.
The Greater Fort
Myers Beach Area Chamber
of Commerce is doing
everything they can to make
the process easier. They
are answering questions
and providing help to any
business, visitor or resident
who needs it at their location
in Key Estero Plaza, 1661
Estero Blvd. To download a
‘Pardon Our Progress – Fort
Myers Beach Construction
Survival Toolkit’, go to www.
fortmyersbeach.org for a list
of links, taxi and bus services
and other information. To
learn more about the project
itself, go to www.refreshfmb.
com.
“We are open for
business,” said Chamber
President
Bud
Nocera.
“These are growing pains that
are signs of greater economic
prosperity on the island.”
So please Pardon
Our Progress - we live in
paradise!
Keri Hendry Weeg
SAND LIFE
February 2016
#7 ON THE MAP ON PG.22
page 8
SAND LIFE
February 2016
page 9
Mound House Offering New Tours
Now, two months after the opening of the museum, there is much to see and do at this historic property. Stroll the pet-friendly grounds
with its native landscaping, visit the observation pier, watch kayaks launch to enjoy the
Calusa Blueway Kayak Trail, gaze at the back
bay imagining the view filled with Calusa canoes filled with shells. Access to the grounds
is free. For a small entry fee, visitors can tour
the Mound House Museum and Shell Mound
Exhibit.
Once in the museum, be sure to
take a leisurely trip back in time via the amazing collection of historical photographs in the
second floor Digging Deeper Exploration Gallery display. In addition to the photographs,
there are several hands-on exhibits that kids of
all ages will enjoy. Or stop by the Cuban Rancho area that gives visitors an idea of what life
was like for the Cuban fisherman who would
travel to the area for months at a time to fish.
Calusa artifacts and tools are on display along
with panels explaining the Calusa culture. The
Period Room on the first floor offers a look at
what the house looked like in 1909. The unique
Shell Mound Exhibit next to the house offers a
cut-away view of the mound itself detailing the
age and history of the mound. Visitors should
allow at least a couple hours to fully explore all
there is to see in the museum.
There are also a variety of new
‘specialty tours’ taking place on Tuesdays. In
#21 on map pg.22
It’s been two months since the fully renovated and completed Mound House
opened to the public, and since then there has
been much excitement about the new exhibits,
tours and museum store.
“We are now open from Tuesday
through Saturday, we have specialty tours on
Tuesday and eco-kayak tours on Wednesday,”
said Museum Director Alison Giesen. “Our attendance has gone way up, and everyone that
comes is so excited to see the museum finally
open.”
The history of the Mound House is
a long one. The house itself sits on a Calusa
Indian Mound, or at least the remnants of one.
The original was begun about 100 BC, with
most of the area mounds built between 300600 AD. While the original mound in that location was at one time quite large, it was whittled
away by excavations and development. Some
say that parts of the mound were carted away
and became part of the base material for the
Tamiami Trail.
Remaining is the bay front property at the end of Connecticut Street on which
sits the Mound House. The elevated site was
an attractive home site to those who followed
the Calusa to our island. The Ellis Family settled there in about 1870 and in 1906 William
and Milia Case built a Tudor style home on
the shell mound, adding on three years later.
Those structures remain a part of the existing
building. Then in 1921, Captain Jack DeLysle,
owner and operator of the Seminole Sands
Casino, located at the Gulf end of Connecticut, expanded the home. It is this era that is
reflected in the current renovation.
The Town of Fort Myers Beach
purchased the property in 2000, using funds
from the Florida Communities Trust. Since that
time, the site has been steadily improved as
the Town of Fort Myers Beach has authorized
a variety or improvement projects designed
to meet the site’s educational mission. These
included the construction of a kayak launch
area that connects visitors to the Great Calusa
Blueway Kayak Trail in Estero Bay, the Shell
Mound Exhibit where visitors have the opportunity to walk inside a Calusa Indian Mound,
and the addition of landscaping and signage
to the grounds so visitors can learn how the
native flora and fauna was used by early residents.
Most recently, Giesen and her team
have spent countless hours painstakingly restoring the Case home to the way it was nearly
100 years ago.
Giesen and Emily Powlen, Project
Manager with SEARCH (Southeastern Archeological Research) have utilized the expertise
of many experts in the development of the museum - crafting museum displays, panels and
interactive exhibits. The panel art was created
by Martin Pate, whose work has appeared in
National Parks for over 20 years. The botanical art gracing the interpretive signs on the
grounds is the work of native Floridian Megan
Kissinger - whose work also appears in the
museum’s store, where every item has been
carefully handpicked by Giesen based on historical accuracy, uniqueness and educational
value.
February, these include “History of Fishing on
Fort Myers Beach’ on Feb. 2nd; ‘History of the
Mound House’ on Feb. 9th; ‘Food, Fortunes,
Medicines and Potions’, in the morning on
Feb. 16th, ‘Beach Nesting Birds in the afternoon, and ‘Tools of the Calusa’ on Feb. 23rd.
Also be sure and check out the ‘Caloosa Carvers’, who will be on site on Feb. 2nd and 16th
giving demonstrations of their incredible craft.
Tickets to the Mound House museum are $10 for ages 13 and up; $8 for students
with a college ID; $5 for ages 6-12, with ages
5 and under free. Tickets for Fort Myers Beach
residents are 50% off with proof of residence
(license, utility or tax bill). From January 1-April
30 the museum will be open Tuesday-Saturday from 9am-4pm. After May 1, it will be open
Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday from 9am4pm.
The Ticket Office and Museum Entrance are located in the Museum Store. Parking is at Beach Baptist Church at the corner of
Estero Blvd. and Connecticut Street - though a
new parking area is under construction at 216
Connecticut. Shuttle available. Call 239-7650865 or visit the website at www.moundhouse.
org for more information.
Keri Hendry Weeg
SAND LIFE
page 10
equipment and a Florida Master
Naturalist will be your guide. $40.
239-694-5513.
Duncan, Neuropsychiatric
Research Center of SWFL, how
lifestyles affect the risk of getting
dementia and the best ways to
energize the brain as we age.
239-765-8162
LIVERPOOL RUMMY
YOGA
Cont’d from pg. 6
10am, FMB Woman’s Club. 175
Sterling Street. Open to men, too.
463-3755.
ROCHESTER REUNION
PARTY 10:30am-2:30pm,
Matanzas on the Bay. Music
by Frank Torino. Reservations
required - wkling@rochester.
rr.com
HISTORY OF FISHING ON
FORT MYERS BEACH
11am and 2pm, Mound House.
From the ancient Calusa Indians,
18th century Cuban ranchos and
pioneer settlers, to commercial
and fishing anglers, fishermen
and women have come to fish
the incredibly rich waters of the
Gulf and Estero Bay. $5, free for
Mound House members. 239765-0865
LIFESTYLES TO A BETTER
HEALTHIER BRAIN:
REDUCING THE RISK OF
DEMENTIA 1:30pm, Beach
Library. Learn from Angel
5:45pm. Newton Park. Enjoy
a panoramic Gulf view as you
enjoy this drop in yoga class for
all levels. Bring yoga mat and
straps if possible. Also offered
on TH from 9-10am. $10/class.
Instructor Susan Carter 765-0865
Pete Beard, 1-5pm; Royce
Allgood, 6-10pm, PierSide Grill
Rob Matson, 1-5pm; Royce
Allgood, 5-9pm, Pete’s Time Out
DJ Firedog 1-5pm; Remedy Duo,
8:30pm-12:30am, Lani Kai Beach
Bars
Wayne DeLoria, 1-5pm; Phil
Oxford, 6:30-10:30pm, La Ola
Meagan Rose
5-8pm, The Outrigger
Beauty and the Bass
Steve Hanlon
#25 on Beach Map. pg.22
Just the Two of Us
6-9pm, Lani Kai Island View
Karaoke with Jim
6-9pm, Bonita Bills
Anthony Wayne
6-10pm, Smokin Oyster Brewery
John Friday 5-9pm,
Petey’s Upper Deck
Greg Clemons
7-10pm, Parrot Key
Lacy’s Band 8pm-12am,
Castaways
The Bad Banditos
9pm-1am, Cottage
Whatevers Clever
9pm-1am, Valerie’s
Wednesday,
February 3
SPIN 61 8am, FMB Woman’s
Club, 175 Sterling Ave.
See Feb 1
YOGA 8:30am, DiamondHead
$12. 209-1698
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS
8:30am, Aerobics. 239-765-4222
February 2016
See Feb 1
EXPLORING
ETHNOBOTANY 9:30-11am.
Matanzas Pass Preserve. Learn
how indigenous plants can be
used for such things as food,
shelter, medicine, clothing, and
the historical importance of some
of Florida’s plants to humans.
Offered every WE thru March.
199 Bay Rd, FMB. www.leeparks.
org.
GUIDED KAYAK TOUR
9:30am-12:30pm, Mound House.
Explore the winding mangrove
creeks and hidden backwaters
of Estero Bay as only a kayaker
can. This unique tour is guided
by our staff biologist, an ACA
certified kayak instructor, and
offers a rare and close up
opportunity to experience the
abundant natural beauty of
Estero and Hell Peckney bays.
The tour includes a stopover
at an archaeological site, tidal
conditions permitting. Every WE
and every first and third SA.
Maximum 12 participants. $45,
reservations required. 239-7650865
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
10am, Senior Fitness; Noon,
Dominoes. 239-765-4222
IPAD FOR BEGINNERS
WATER AEROBICS
10:30am, Beach Library.
Facilitated by Robin Billing, learn
the nuts and bolts of using your
iPad. Pre-register. 239-765-8162
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS,
Church. See Feb 1
COMMERCIAL FISHING
FLEET TOUR 9am -Noon.
SENIOR 61 CLASS
WE & FR. 239-463-5759
See Feb 2
Ostego Bay Foundation. Includes
a 90 min. guided visit in the
Museum that contains a touch
tank, hands-on beach area and
several aquariums and exhibits.
The Tour continues with visits to
local shrimp industry locations.
$15/adult; $10 children over 6.
Reservations required. 765-8101.
BEACH BAPTIST
FARMER’S MARKET
9am-2pm, Beach Baptist Parking
Lot. Fresh vegetables, crafts,
sunglasses and more.
Sterling Ave. See Feb 1
FARMER’S MARKET 10am-
3pm, The Village Shoppes at
Health Park, corner of Summerlin
and Bass Roads, Ft. Myers. Rain
or shine.
YOGA 11:30am-1pm.
Health & Harmony Center,
15951 McGregor Blvd.
Intermediate level class.
Instructor Susan Carter. $16.
healthandharmonyonline.com
STAND UP PADDLEBOARD
(SUP) YOGA 9am & 5pm,
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS) MONTHLY POTLUCK
BUFFALO-ROCHESTER
Good Time Charters at Snook
Bight Marina. $40/person
includes board rental. Book
online at goodtimecharter.com or
239-218-8014
Noon, Bay Oaks. Fried chicken,
drinks and utensils provided by
the Town of Fort Myers Beach.
Bring dish to share. 239-7654222.
SAND LIFE
February 2016
DAY 12-6pm, Bootleggers BBQ.
Featuring Zweigle’s Red and
White Hot Dogs and Genesee
Beer.
RIVER OF PAINTED BIRDS
1:30pm, Beach Library. Meet
author Tessa Bridal, born and
raised in Uruguay. Her story was
inspired by her Irish grandmother
who boarded a ship from Cork
only to discover she was bound
for South not North America. 239765-8162
FACEBOOK & TWITTER
1:30pm, Beach Library.
Community Room A. What
is tweeting? How do I share
photos? These and other issues
regarding social media will be
discussed. Pre-register. 239-7658162
10TH ANNUAL MINNESOTA
DAY 1-7pm, Pickle n Pub, 15455
McGregor Blvd., Ft. Myers (next
to Planet Fitness). Food, raffles
and more. Please bring canned
goods. 239-208-4029
BAY OAKS YOUTH 7-8pm,
Teen Weightlifting. 239-765-4222
BINGO 7pm, American Legion,
899 Buttonwood.
6:30-9:30pm, Doc Ford’s
Chris Casida, 1-4pm; Steve
Farst, 9pm-1am, The Cottage
Frank Thompson
DJ TK, 1-5pm; Table Mannerz
Wet & Wild, 8:30pm-12:30am,
Lani Kai Beach Bars
Bobby D 7-10pm, Cracker Box
Smokin Bill, 1-5pm; Anthony
Wayne, 6-10pm, PierSide Grill
Dave Collaton, 1-5pm; Anthony
Johnny Walker, 2-5pm; DVS Duo,
7-10pm, La Ola
Chucky From Kentucky
12-4pm, Bonita Bills
Frank Torino
Endre D 5-8pm, The Outrigger
Rich Lancaster
Wayne DeLoria
6-9pm, Dixie Fish House
Larry Maas
Pete Beard
Girl Meets Boy
Gatlin Dinner Show
7-10pm, Parrot Key
The Manipulators
8pm-12am, Castaways
10,000 Views
10pm-1am, Beached Whale
Thursday,
February 4
FITNESS CLASSES
8am PUMP 61; 9:15am ABS;
10am Senior 61; 6pm SPIN
61, At FMB Woman’s Club, 175
Sterling. See Feb 1
FLOW STYLE YOGA
9am, Bay Oaks. See Feb 2
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS) WALKING TRIP IN SIX MILE
SLOUGH PRESERVE
9am, van leaves Bay Oaks.
Six Mile Slough is over 3,400
acres wetland in Fort Myers, that
measures approximately 11 miles
long and 1/3 wide. $4 member/$6
non member. 239-765-4222.
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS
9am, Yoga; 9am, Body Sculpting;
6-9pm, Open Volleyball; 6pm,
Open Inline Hockey. 239-7654222
LIFE IN THE MANGROVES
9:30-11am. Matanzas Pass
Preserve. This educational
and inspirational walk through
the Preserve will provide you
with opportunities to discover
the diverse plant and animal
communities in this maritime oak
hammock, transitional wetland
and mangrove forest ecosystem.
Offered every TH thru March. 199
Bay Rd, FMB. www.leeparks.org.
LINE DANCE CLASS
10:15am, Bay Oaks. See Feb 2
A PLACE NO ONE SHOULD
GO 10:30am, Beach Library.
Community Room A. DL Havlin,
author of this suspense thriller,
will discuss the many historical
and scientific facts he discovered
about Calusa Indian spiritual
beliefs, climate changes and
archeological treasures when
researching the book. 239-7658162
page 11
GETTING STARTED WITH
YOUR IPAD/IPHONE
Community Room B. Facilitated
by Betsy Mangan, learn the
basics which includes searching
the Internet, taking pictures,
e-mail, changing settings and
organizing your Apps. Preregister. 239-765-8162
KAYAK MULLOCK CREEK
10am-2:30pm. San Carlos Park.
This is a very quiet pathway
to the east side of Estero Bay
in the area of the Estero Bay
Buffer Preserve. Many birds,
fish, dolphin, manatee and
crustaceans, etc, among the
winding mangrove creeks and in
the Bay. $60. 239-694-5513.
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
ACTIVITIES Noon, Dominos;
12:30-3:30pm, Social Bridge (at
Chapel By the Sea).
239-765-4222
MUSIC THERAPY
1:30pm, Beach Library. Learn all
about the amazing benefits music
therapy can provide from Tracey
Kinnunen, a musical therapist at
the Golisano Children’s Hospital
of SWFL. 239-765-8162
CORN HOLE COMPETITION
5pm, Beach Bowl, 17651 San
Carlos Boulevard. 239-466-3033
BINGO NIGHT
6-9pm, Valerie’s Lounge
BINGO 7pm, Bayside Estates
Clubhouse, 17601 San Carlos
Boulevard. 239-481-0163
SYMPHONIC FOLKLORE:
MENDELSSOHN, DE
FALLA, COPLAND
7:30pm, Shell Point Village.
Maestro Nir Kabaretti leads the
Southwest Florida Symphony in
colorful symphonic storytelling.
Mendelssohn’s Italian Symphony,
DeFalla’s El Amor Brujo, and
Copland’s Old American Songs,
each featured in this concert, tell
compelling stories through music.
$26, 239-454-2067
Keith Clanton, 1-4pm; The New
Vinyls, 9pm-1am, The Cottage
Smokin Bill, 1-5pm; Pete Beard,
6-10pm, PierSide Grill
DJ Firedog, 1-5pm; White Girl
Wasted, 8:30pm-12:30am, Lani
Kai Beach Bars
Rob Matson, 1-5pm; James
Gragg, 5-9pm, Pete’s Time Out
Cont’d pg.12
SAND LIFE
page 12
Cont’d from pg. 11
Chucky from Kentucky, 12-4pm;
Deb & Ray, 6-9pm, Bonita Bill’s
Two Hands 5-8pm, Outrigger
Mary Winner
Anthony Wayne
Just the Two of Us
Left of Center
Bobby James
6:30-9:30pm, Doc Fords
Dave Collaton
John Stey 7-10pm, Cracker Box
Frank Torino 7-10pm, Parrot Key
Gatlin 7-10pm, Bootleggers BBQ
Torched 8pm-12am, Castaways
The New Vinyls 9pm-1am,
Cottage
DJ Jay 10pm-1am, Sunset Beach
Tropical Grill
Friday,
February 5
SPIN 617:30am, FMB Woman’s
See Feb 1
FARMERS MARKET 7:30-
11:30am, Fort Myers Beach
Pool parking lot. Turn at School
St. Fresh vegetables, fruit, and
seafood are just some of the
items that will be available for
purchase at this year’s Fort
Myers Beach Farmers Market.
The market will also be host to
vendors selling a vast assortment
of fresh produce, live plants,
pickles and olives, barbeque,
kettle corn and organic dog
treats. For more information, call
Kyle Karczewski at 239-765-4222
or email: kyle@fortmyersbeachfl.
gov!
FLEA MARKET 8am-2pm,
Bayside Estates. The Bayside
Socialites and Men’s Club host
their annual Flea Market with
appliances, furniture, bikes, toys,
collectibles, books, and more.
Refreshments available. Quilt
Raffle. 17601 San Carlos Blvd.
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS
and calendars up to date and
organized. Pre-register. 239-7658162
LAUGHTER YOGA
SALUTE TO
SHAKESPEARE 2016
(SESSIONS 2 OF 7)
8:30am, Aerobics; Open
Basketball, 6-9pm. 239-765-4222
8-9am. Lynn Hall Park (near
playground). Lift your mood
and laugh your stress away
with rhythmic clapping, mild
stretching, deep breathing
and laughter just for the health
of it. No yoga experience
needed. Bring towel. Free
with paid parking. www.
laughteryogawithmegscott.com,
614-216-9371
YOGA AT NEWTON PARK
8:15am, Gentle Flow - all levels;
9:15am, Fire Flow - intermediate
to advanced. Newton Park. $12
per class. Fort Myers Beach
Yoga, LLC. No reservations
needed. 239-250-0288.
PROGRESSIVE BRIDGE 9:30am, FMB Woman’s Club,
175 Sterling Street. Open to
women/men. Two day advance
registration required. $5, bring
lunch - drinks provided. Usually
finish by 2:30pm. Call Claire,
454-6612
10am-Noon, Shell Point
Village. This session focuses
on “Richard II,” the first of
Shakespeare’s eight history plays
chronologically, but not the first
he authored. The play’s events
led to the division of the royal line
of succession into two competing
houses, Lancaster and York,
which subsequently pursued the
crown in the War of the Roses.
$10, 239-489-8472
BIRD BEACHES AND
MANGROVE CREEKS
10am-2pm. San Carlos Bay. A
protected wild area of shallow
waters, lots of birds and a variety
of other creatures including
dolphin and manatee. $55. 239694-5513.
LEARNING TO PLAY THE
GUITAR 1:30pm, Beach Library.
WATER AEROBICS
WE & FR. 239-463-5759
James Lee will show how to tune
a guitar and the basic chords
which then enables you to play
over 5,000 songs. Bring your
guitar or come without if just
curious. 239-765-8162
BARRIER ISLAND RAMBLE
ADULT PIRATE CRUISE
9:30-11am, Bowditch Park.
Discover the unique and
constantly changing features of
this barrier island ecosystem.
Learn how the plants and
animals are adapted to life on
this fragile spit of sand. Offered
every FR thru March. www.
leeparks.org.
LAKES PARK REGIONAL
FARMERS MARKET
9am-1pm, Lakes Park, 7300
Gladiolus Drive, Fort Myers.
Fresh local produce, flowers,
soaps and more. Parking is free.
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
10am, Senior Fitness; 1-4pm,
Mahjong. 239-765-4222
MAH JONGG 10:30am, Beach
Join for fun and friendship. Bring
your cards and sets. Beginners
are welcome-instruction will be
provided by Marcia Boudreau.
239-765-8162
Church. See Feb 1
IPAD CONTINUED
Community Room A. Robin
Billing will discuss top features,
how to keep your email, contacts
7pm, Pieces of Eight Adult Pirate
Cruise at Salty Sam’s Marina. 90min adults only cruise with pirate
shenanigans. Boarding begins at
6:30pm. $20 Reservations 800763-7769
SUNSET CELEBRATION
5-9pm, Times Square. Live
music, food & fun with High Tide
SHRINE BINGO
6:30pm-Early Bird; 7pm-regular.
19171 San Carlos Blvd. three
jackpots of up to $250 each. Free
coffee during bingo with free
donuts at intermission.
Chucky from Kentucky, 12-4pm,
Karaoke with Jim, 6-9pm, Bonita
Bill’s
Wendell Ray, 1-4pm; The Steve
Farst Trio, 9pm-1am, The
Cottage
Ronn Daniels, 1-5pm, Sean
Bright, 6-10pm, PierSide Grill
Sideshow Bob & Scotty, 1-5pm;
A200, 9:30pm-1:30am, Lani Kai
Beach Bars
Johnny Walker, 2-5pm; Beth
Thompson, 6:30-10:30pm, La
Ola
Patrick Murphy
12-4pm, Pete’s Time Out
February 2016
Allen Small 5-8pm, The Outrigger
Father Al & the Jazz
Congregation 5-8pm,
Matanzas on the Bay
Mark Wesley
Free Spirit 5-9pm,
Lani Kai Sun Deck
Larry Maas
3 Crooked Steps
Anthony Wayne
David Johnson 7-10pm,
Parrot Key
Harry Boyle Show
7:30-10:30pm, American Legion
Geo 7-10pm, Bootleggers BBQ
Cracker Box Band
7-10pm, Cracker Box
Live Music 8pm-12am,
Castaways
Boomerang
Soapy Tuna
Live Music 10pm-2am, Sunset
Beach Tropical Grill
Saturday,
February 6
THUNDERBIRD MEN’S
CLUB BREAKFAST
7-10am, 200 Derwent Boulevard
(off San Carlos, south of Ft.
Myers Beach RV Park and east
of Marko’s Diner). Pancakes
and sausage or french toast and
sausage or biscuits and gravy.
Includes juice and coffee. $3.50
BIRD PATROL WALKING
TOUR 8am, Lakes Regional
Park, 7330 Gladiolus Drive, Ft.
Myers. This easy walk along
clear paths offers an opportunity
to see birds in native vegetation
with Bird Patrol guides pointing
out the many species in Lakes
Park - a Lee County birding hot
spot and crucial nesting area
for many birds. Free with paid
parking. www.birdpatrol.org.
BOATING CLASS
8:15am-12:30pm, San Carlos
Bay Sail & Power Squadron,
16048 San Carlos Blvd. Safe
boating course
Cont’d pg.14
SAND LIFE
February 2016
page 13
A Field Guide to Fort Myers Beach: Red-bellied Woodpeckers
There are many
different birds that live along
our coast. However, not many
people think of woodpeckers
when they envision the soft
sands and lovely palms that
occur here on Fort Myers
Beach.
The
Red-bellied
Woodpecker is a great asset
to our homes due to the fact
that they eat many insects
and other invertebrates that
residents would prefer to stay
out of their yard. They will also
eat many different fruits, seeds
and nuts. When woodpeckers
hunt they will hop along the
tree, also known as hitching,
listening for the noises insects
and other small critters make
as they are eating the inside
of the tree. When they hear
something interesting they will
pause and brace themselves
against the tree using their
zygodactyl feet, two toes in
front and two in back, and stiff
tail feathers to give them more
stability on the tree. I love that
word zygodactyl. I mean really
how many interesting z words
do you come across on a
daily basis? After pecking and
widening the hole enough they
will stick in their spear tipped
tongue coated with sticky
saliva, skewer their prey, and
swallow them whole. Things
like this make me glad that
people are much higher up on
the food web.
R e d - b e l l i e d
Woodpecker breeding season
starts in March and April and
continues until June. This is
when they can be a problem
because even though Red
bellied Woodpeckers do have
a rolling ‘kwirr’ or ‘churr’ call
given by both sexes, males will
call out to females by what’s
known as Drumming. This is
when he will hammer against
objects that resonate out from
which can be anything from
logs to metal roofs to cars at
about 19 beats per second
for 1 second or so at a time.
The male and female are
monogamist and will work
together to choose a nest
site. They visit potential nest
sites, and communicate by
mutual tapping; one member
of the pair taps softly on the
wood from inside a cavity,
Beach Churches
Sunday & Holiday Worship Ser vices
BEACH UNITED METHODIST
155 Bay Rd
239-463-9656
10:30am
January-Easter 8:00 & 10:30am
ST. PETER LUTHERAN
3751 Estero Blvd
239-463-4251
After Easter-January 9:30am
ST. RAPHAEL’S EPISCOPAL
5601 Williams Dr
239-463-6057
10:00am
BEACH BAPTIST
130 Connecticut St.
239-463-6452
10:30am
CHAPEL BY THE SEA
PRESBYTERIAN
2500 Estero Blvd
239-463-3173
After Easter-Dec 10am
ASCENSION CATHOLIC
6025 Estero Blvd
239-463-6754
Jan 16-Easter SA 3:00 & 4:30pm
SU 6:45, 8:00; 9:30 & 11:00am
After Easter –mid January SA
4:30pm
SU 8:00 & 10:00am
and the other taps back from
the outside. Nests are usually
excavated in dead trees, the
dead limbs of live trees, and
sometimes fence posts. It is a
piece of dead wood after all,
just a more decorative piece.
They also have been known to
steal other birds nest holes to
lay their eggs in. Not the most
neighborly thing to do, but
nest holes in dead trees are
hard to come by nowadays.
When looking for
Red-bellied
Woodpeckers
out in the field, watch for
the bright red Mohawk that
they sport. Females have an
incomplete Mohawk, ending
about halfway up their head,
while males have a complete
one. Their back is covered
in very distinctive black and
white stripes and the wingtips
have a small patch of white
which you can see as it flies.
It is hard to see the patch of
red that is on their breast that
gave them their name, but try
to keep a look out for it when
watching them. If you would
like to see them in your own
yard they will feed from bird
feeders and have been known
to shove out other birds to get
to the seeds, which makes for
an interesting show to say the
least.
Rae Blake
Environmental Technician, Town
of Fort Myers Beach
SAND LIFE
page 14
covering hull design, docking,
anchoring, boat emergencies,
channel markers and more.
Second session is SA 2/13. $45.
Register at www.scbps.com or
call 239-466-4040.
$12. 209-1698
YOGA ON THE BEACH
8:30-9:30am, Just north of the
pier. Join Becky Lang for a
Level One Flow Yoga practice
suitable for most levels. No preregistration required, suggested
donation $10. Parking is $2/hr.
Bring yoga mat, sunscreen and
water. Weather permitting. www.
beckylang.com
PUMP & SPIN CLASS
8:30-10am, FMB Woman’s Club,
175 Sterling. This combo class
offers the best of Pump-sculpting
and defining muscles and Spinburning fat, increasing cardio and
toning muscles. Instructor Sue
Anderson. $7/class. Bring water
bottle and towel, plus a mat. 941224-8467.
AQUA JOGGING 9-10am,
Beach Pool. A nonstop full body
workout that transitions between
jogging and stationary exercise
focusing on different muscle
groups. 239-463-5759
BINGO 2-5pm, Valerie’s Lounge
SHRIMP DINNER 5-7pm,
St. Raphael’s Church, 5601
Williams, FMB. Enjoy our area’s
finest delicacy, Gulf Pink Shrimp,
at the monthly Shrimp Dinner.
All you can eat GULF shrimp,
homemade cole slaw, baked
beans, cornbread, beer, wine,
soda and dessert. $20/per
person.
YOGA ON THE BEACH
5pm, on the sand at Pink Shell
Resort. All levels. $10/person.
Laura Paradiso - 203-305-1663
or lauraparadiso.com
SUNSET CELEBRATION
5-9pm. Time Square. Live music,
food & fun with
Frank Thompson, 1-5pm, Greg
Watts, 6-10pm, PierSide Grill
Jammin G’s, 1-6pm; A200,
Bars
Scott Alan ‘The Island Doctor’,
2-6pm; High Tide, 10pm-1am,
Sunset Beach Tropical Grill
Bad Banditos, 1-5pm; Hot Hazy
& Humid, 6:30-9:30pm, Doc
Fords
Chucky from Kentucky
12-4pm and 6-9pm, Bonita Bill’s
Charters at Snook Bight Marina.
See Feb 3
Jeff Greene
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS
Meagan Rose & Smokin’ Bill
2-5pm, Outrigger
ESTUARY KAYAK TOUR
IN ESTERO BAY 10am-1pm.
Bonita Beach. See Feb 2
GUIDED KAYAK TOUR
Simple Jack
Deb & the Dynamics, 1-4pm;
Paul Dever, 6:30-9:30pm, Doc
Fords
Sunday,
February 7
JAZZ BRUNCH
11:30am-2:30pm, Matanzas on
the Bay. Gourmet brunch menu,
waterside dining, jazz with Father
Al & the Jazz Congregation
LUNCH AND (NOT SO)
TRIVIA QUIZ: THE WORLD
WE LIVE IN
Larry Maas
Dave Collaton
Toucan Do
Harry Boyle Show
Pain in the Grass 7-10pm,
Cracker Box
Rocker 8pm-12am, Castaways
Greg Watts
Small Town 2-5pm, Outrigger
Brandon Maddox
Free Spirit
SUPER BOWL PARTY
Lee Hagen
Legion, 899 Buttonwood Dr.
6pm-?, Valerie’s. Free chili, hot
dogs, chips. Raffles and prizes
- buy your ticket now for the TV
we’re giving away at halftime!
239-466-7788.
Royce Allgood, 1-5pm, Smokin
Bill, 6-10pm, PierSide Grill
Jammin G’s, 1-6pm; DJ TK, 6pm12am, Lani Kai Beach Bars
Sean Bright, 1-5pm; Patrick
Murphy, 5-9pm, Pete’s Time Out
Screamin’ & Cryin’
Mary Winner
Laurie Star, 2-5pm; Chris Kemp,
6:30-10:30pm, La Ola
BINGO Noon-3pm. American
Free Spirit 5-9pm,
Lani Kai Sun Deck
See Feb 3
12:15-2:15pm, Shell Point
Village. As we embark on this
world diversity tour, we aim to
identify the notable behavioral,
environmental, and geographical
extremes of the almost seven
billion people embracing
our planet. The answers will
amaze you. Paper and pencils
will be provided to track your
score during this light-hearted
interactive talk. $20 (includes
boxed lunch). Registration
required. 239-489-8472
Two Hands, 1-4pm, Chucky from
Kentucky, 6-9pm, Bonita Bill’s
Shawn Russell, 2-5pm; Phil
(SUP) YOGA 10am, Good Time
10am-9pm, Open Basketball.
239-765-4222
3 Crooked Steps
9pm-1am, Cottage
#15 on Beach Map on pg.22
February 2016
Toucan Do
Michael DiAmore
7-10pm, Parrot Key
Karaoke with Mike Russell
6-10pm, American Legion
Troublemakerz
9pm-1am, Cottage
Soapy Tuna
SAND LIFE
February 2016
Monday,
February 8
See Feb 1
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS,
See Feb 1
WATER AEROBICS
Lani Kai Beach Bars
IDENTITY THEFT
Anthony Wayne
Pete Beard
Scotty Bryan
Jam Session 6-9pm, Cracker Box
WINDOWS 10
Open Mic Jam Nite
6-9pm, Bonita Bills
Church. See Feb 1
SENIOR 61 CLASS
BURROWING OWLS
Come learn about the quirky,
charismatic, funny burrowing
owls with Beverly Saltonstall,
founding member of the Cape
Coral Friends of Wildlife. 239765-8162
Will Kiser 6-10pm,
Smokin Oyster Brewery
Chris Kemp
9pm-12am, Castaways
3 Crooked Steps
9pm-1am, Cottage
Tuesday,
February 9
PUMP 61 CLASS
7:30am and 6pm, FMB Woman’s
Club, 175 Sterling Ave. See Feb
2
GUIDED BEACH WALK
9am. Newton Park, 4650 Estero
Blvd. See Feb 2
BINGO 2-5pm, Valerie’s
Lounge. 466-7788
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
ACTIVITIES, See Feb 2
FLOW STYLE YOGA
$12. 209-1698
THE SEMINOLE WARS
7pm, Beach Library. Sponsored
by the Estero Island Historic
Society, John and Mary Lou
Missall will talk about the conflicts
in Florida between the Seminoles
and the United States Army. 239765-8162
HISTORY OF THE MOUND
HOUSE 11am and 2pm, Mound
Bob Bero
Sideshow Bob
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
10:30am, Beach Library. Learn
from Dr. Kim Swanson, a Crime
Prevention Specialist with the
Lee County Sheriff’s Office, how
your identity can be stolen, the
different types of identity theft
and ways to protect yourself.
239-765-8162
House. From the ancient Calusa
Indians, 18th century Cuban
ranchos and pioneer settlers, to
commercial and fishing anglers,
fishermen and women have
come to fish the incredibly rich
waters of the Gulf and Estero
Bay. $5, free for Mound House
members. 239-765-0865
See Feb 1
9:30am-1pm, Annette’s Book
Nook, Santini Plaza. Veronica
Honey, author of, “Carolyn, A
Journey of Faith.” The book is
about her daughter, who died at
age 16 from a brain tumor. This is
Carolyn’s journey.
John Friday
BOOK SIGNING
LIVERPOOL RUMMY
Karaoke with Jim
6-9pm, Bonita Bills
BEACH YOGA 9am, Access
Preserve. See Feb 1.
Just the Two of Us
463-3755.
Sam DeArmond
ESTUARY KAYAK TOUR
WE & FR. 239-463-5759
22 (Connecticut Street). See
Feb 1
page 15
9am, Bay Oaks . See Feb 2
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS,
See Feb 2
Marina Plaza. See Feb 2
LINE DANCE CLASS
TODDLER TUESDAY
Campus. See Feb 2
Gatlin Dinner Show
7-10pm, Parrot Key
The Hipnauticals
8pm-12am, Castaways
The Bad Banditos
9pm-1am, Cottage
Whatevers Clever
Wednesday,
February 10
See Feb 1
1:30pm, Beach Library. Live
demo of Windows 10 and learn to
take advantage of Windows 10’s
new features. What about apps?
Pre-register. 239-765-8162
Resort. See Feb 3
YOGA 5:45pm. Newton Park.
WE & FR. 239-463-5759
See Feb 2
A NIGHT AT THE OSCARS:
HOLLYWOOD CONCERT
ORCHESTRA 7:30pm, Shell
Point Village. The Hollywood
Concert Orchestra, an ensemble
of America’s finest musicians,
has become one of the premier
touring ensembles in the world. A
unique presentation of the latest
TV, movie and Broadway themes
written and arranged especially
for the orchestra. $36. 239-4542067
Bars
Meagan Rose 5-8pm,
The Outrigger
Beauty and the Bass
Steve Hanlon
WATER AEROBICS
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS,
See Feb 3
COMMERCIAL FISHING
FLEET TOUR 9am -Noon.
Ostego Bay Foundation.
See Feb 3
QUILTING 9am-1pm, Beach
Library. Quilters just starting out,
or those working on long-term
projects gather to enjoy both
quilting and conversation. $2 set
up fee. 239-765-8162
BEACH BAPTIST
FARMER’S MARKET
Lot. See Feb 3
Bight Marina. See Feb 3
See Feb 1
EXPLORING
ETHNOBOTANY
Preserve. See Feb 3
GUIDED KAYAK TOUR
9:30am-12:30pm, Cont’d pg.20
page 16
SAND LIFE
February 2016
#22 ON THE MAP ON PAGE 22
SAND LIFE
February 2016
page 17
A Stroll Along the Shore
On
a
beautiful
January morning, the Sand
Paper headed down to
Newton Park for a “Treasures
of the Sea” guided beach
walk hosted by Town of Fort
Myers Beach biologist Parke
Lewis. Whether you’re new to
the area or an old salt that’s
lived here for generations, this
experience is not to be missed
as Lewis is guaranteed to
teach you something that you
never knew about the sand
and waves beneath your feet.
“Everything
here
is alive,” he began, as we
walked along the shore, soft
waves caressing our toes.
Lewis bent over the wrack
line and picked up something
that resembled some kind of
plastic tubing.
“This is the egg case
from a Lightening Whelk,” he
said.
“You know those
beautiful spiral shells that
everyone collects? This is
where they come from.” Lewis
went on to explain that most
of the seagrass that washes
ashore actually comes from
the seagrass beds in the back
bay, and went on to show us
the different types, explaining
how the beds provide food for
the tiny fish, which then feed
larger fish, which feed larger
mammals like dolphins.
As we strolled along,
Parke took out a cast net
and caught a bounty of tiny
silver fish that would have
had a fisherman drooling. He
explained how the fish, known
as shiners and often used for
bait, are
Cont’d next pg.
BEACH DINING GUIDE
PINCHERS BEACH TIKI BAR
239-463-2909
Home of the 2 for 1 Happy Hour All Day Every Day this is a
perfect choice for lunch, afternoon snacks or a sunset dinner.
Offering tasty seafood creations, sandwiches, salads, ribs and
pasta plus a full bar. Open for lunch and dinner.Call ahead
seating available. Located behind the Wyndham Garden
Hotel. Live music every weekend. Hours: 11am-10pm.
6890 Estero Blvd., FMB
MAP #4
PinchersUSA.com
ISLAND SAND PAPER / SAND LIFE MAG
239-463-4461
Our company offers a variety of Advertising Solutions that will help
grow your business. Solutions that result from getting your message
in front of our 2,000,000 annual readers. Between our Web options,
weekly Island Sand Paper, and monthly SAND LIFE magazine, we
can deliver results. If you don’t believe us, ask our advertisers. They
are some of the most successful businesses in our community!
1661 Estero Blvd, FMB MAP #1
FortMyersBeach.news
SKYE’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT & MORE
239-463-7707
PIERSIDE GRILL & BLOWFISH BAR
239-765-7800
Located right next to the Public Pier in Time Square, this
is the perfect spot to enjoy a Gulf-side meal, snack or cold
drink. Featuring their almost famous beach bread, incredible
seafood platter and award-winning ribs, this is a great place
for the whole family with kid’s meals available. The Blowfish
Bar offers a full liquor bar and award-winning frozen drinks.
Live Music every afternoon & evening. Hours: 11am-11pm.
MAP #5
PETE’S TIME OUT
PierSideGrill.com
239-463-5900
This open-air favorite right in the heart of Times Square is one
of the oldest family establishments in the area. Sit outside
and watch the action or hang out at the covered bar. Serving
breakfast, lunch and dinner, featuring fresh grouper to prime
rib to chili cheese fries. Or just enjoy a cold beverage from the
full bar. Try their famous Mojitos.
Live Music • Full Bar Open 7:00 am – 11:00 pm
Times Square, Downtown FMB MAP #8
CASTAWAYS BAR & GRILL
PetesTimeOut.com
239-463-4644
An island institution for over 20 years, Skye’s in Santini Plaza
is a gathering place for good food and tasty drinks for both
locals and visitors. Serving an American breakfast menu, with
sandwiches, soups, salads, appetizers and Mexican entrees
and desserts available for lunch and dinner. Happy Hour all
day until 6pm. Hours: Breakfast 7am-2pm; Lunch 11am-2pm;
Dinner from 2pm.
Great hospitality, fun and live music on the island! Open
for lunch and dinner with extensive menu including soups,
salads, seafood baskets, steaks, burgers and wings. Friendly
environment that attracts both locals and visitors. Full bar.
Live Music Thursday-Saturday. Hours: 11am-2am.
7205 Estero Blvd., FMB MAP #11 SkyesFortMyers Beach.com
7205 Estero Blvd., FMB MAP #7 facebook.com/CastawaysFMB
FOR HELP WITH DIRECTIONS SEE MAP ON PAGE 22
SAND LIFE
page 18
February 2016
A Stroll Along the Shore, Cont’d from pg. 17
shells beneath our feet. For
us, he brought back memories
of a happy childhood as he
described making coquina
stew with his grandmother.
“When people show
up for the tour, I ask them if
them if the beach is a new
experience for them or of
they’ve been here awhile,
then we walk the beach and
see what we come across,”
he told us. “We talk about the
ecology of the beach system.
I tell them about the intertidal
actually a type of sardine and
that some people even eat
them.
“They are part of
the circle of life of the sea,”
he said, and sure enough, an
egret that had been following
us swooped into the mound
of fluttering fish for an easy
breakfast.
Lewis has stories
to tell about just about
everything we saw, breathing
new life into something many
see as ordinary - the everyday
trough and how many things
that wash ashore can be from
many miles away or as close
as our back bay.”
The guided beach
walks are free and offered at
the newly completed Newton
Park every Tuesday morning
at 9am. Come take a leisurely
stroll with Parke Lewis - we
guarantee you’ll never look
at the shoreline in quite the
same way again!
Keri Hendry Weeg
BEACH DINING GUIDE
GULFSHORE GRILL
239-765-5440
The Cottage Beach Bar & Gulfshore Grill is a popular restaurant and
bar destination that offers fantastic views of the Gulf of Mexico from
every table! A local’s favorite for 40 years, we offer the best in Ft Myers
night life and are one of the top Ft Myers Beach bars in the area. Enjoy
the freshest seafood on Fort Myers Beach. If you’re looking to enjoy
a non-seafood dish try our Certified Angus Beef, Ribs, Wings, or our
extensive 60-item salad bar. Open 8am to 2am daily
MAP #6
BOOTLEGGER’S WATERFRONT
gulfshoregrill.com
239-463-3043
This favorite destination on San Carlos Island faces Estero
Bay, with indoor/outdoor seating. Besides some of the best
BBQ in the area, this location is a favorite with sports fans for
viewing their favorite team. They offer Live Music and a Full
Bar. Normally Open Daily · 3:00 pm – 9:00pm.
2200 Main St., FMB
MAP #17
BootleggersBarbeque.com
PARROT KEY CARIBBEAN GRILL
239-463-3257
Along with Bootlegger’s, this colorful venue is located within
the Salty Sam’s Marina complex and overlooks the busy
marina and beautiful Estero Bay. If one is busy, head to the
other. The Parrot Key menu offers colorful and tasty frozen
drinks plus Caribbean and diverse American menu selections
to please all palates. Live Music • Full Bar Normally open
Daily · 11:30 am – 9:00 pm
2500 Main Street, FMB
MAP #18
THE BEACH THEATER
MyParrotKey.com
239-765-9000
Beach Theater is a family-owned Movie Theater showing only
the best first-run movies in a clean, comfortable environment.
Their extensive menu offers appetizers, salads, wraps,
sandwiches and more, all made fresh to order. Wine and beer
also available. Sit back and let the friendly wait staff serve you
while you enjoy the movie! Check the schedule online.
MAP #12
fmbtheater.com
FRANCESCO’S RESTAURANT, DELI, BAKERY, & PIZZERIA
239-463-5634
This authentic Italian destination has it all. Breakfast menu, Italian
dinners, pizza, deli goods, fresh bakery, sandwiches, salads, subs,
& ice cream. Inside/outside seating plus carryout and catering
available. Mon-Sat 9:30am to 9:30pm , Sun 11am to 7:30pm
7205 Estero Blvd., Santini Marina Plaza MAP # 23
francescosfortmyersbeach.com
SUNSET BEACH TROPICAL GRILL & “THE PLAYMOR” TIKI BAR
239-463-1028
This location on the beach by Times Square dates back to
the original Beach Schoolhouse location in the 1950’s. Today
we have added great food and your favorite libations with live
entertainment for a complete Ft. Myers Beach experience.
Offerings include lunch, dinner, & bar food menus, along with
an extensive wine list and bar offerings. Open at 11am daily.
1028 Estero Blvd., Times Square MAP #30
sunsetbeachtropicalgrill.com
TUCKAWAY BAGEL & WAFFLE CAFE’
239-463-5398
A European style coffee shop located on beautiful Fort
Myers Beach serving delicious bagel sandwiches, Belgian
wafels, fruit smoothies, iced coffees and brewed and
specialty coffees made with Lavazza espresso. Free WiFi,
Pet friendly. Indoor/Outdoor seating • Breakfast/Lunch
Open Daily · 7:00 am – 2:00 pm
MAP #19
BAYFRONT BISTRO
TuckawayCoffeeFMB.com
239-463-3663
A beautiful waterfront dining experience at Fort Myers Beach’s
premier mid-island location within Snook Bight Yacht Club and
Marina. Arrive by land or water, then sit back and enjoy the
stunning back bay surroundings as you delight in the tastes of the
Bayfront Bistro kitchen. Award winning menu and wine selection.
Reservations accepted. Between Matanzas Pass Channel
Marker 27 and 29. Open Daily 11:30am - 10pm/close
MAP #22
BayFrontBistro.com
FOR HELP WITH DIRECTIONS SEE MAP ON PAGE 22
Some people claim
to have been a child prodigy,
but in the case of Larry Maas
it’s true. Maas, one of the few
musicians on the island who
entertains with a piano rather
than a guitar, first earned his
musical chops at the tender
age of 10. 50 years later, he’s
still performing…
“I started working for
Lowery Organs when I was
10 years old in my hometown
of Erie, Pennsylvania – you
know the guy you used to see
in the mall, playing piano in the
store window? That was me –
and the slogan was, ‘If little
Larry can do it, so can you!’”
Maas told us. “I performed
with Lowery at state fairs all
over the state.”
We bet he sold quite
a few pianos! During high
school, Larry continued to
perform in bands, as a solo
act and in musical theater.
In college at Mercyhurst
University, he literally got onthe-job training as he worked
as the musical director in the
school’s theater department to
pay for his education in music.
From there he joined an
equity theater company and
traveled all over the tri-state
area of Pennsylvania, Ohio
and Michigan before he finally
decided he’d had enough of
the cold northeastern winters.
“I called my agent
in New York and told him I
wanted to head down the
east coast to Florida, so he
did,” Larry told us. “Back then
Holiday Inns and Ramada
Inns all had piano bars, and
they needed entertainers, so
I would be booked from one
to three months at a time and
just live at the hotel.”
This was in the late
1970’s, and Larry was having
great fun being a traveling
musician, meeting new people
and going new places.
“One day I was
offered a week long contract at
a place called ‘Estero Island’,”
Maas said, laughing. “I had no
idea where it was, and when
someone told me it was near
Ft. Myers I started looking
around Ft. Lauderdale.”
Like it has so many
others, the small town,
southern charm of the western
side of the sunshine state
SAND LIFE
Piano Man Larry Maas
would soon work it’s magic on
Larry, from a resort that was
new in 1981 – the Lani Kai.
“I was 28 years old
then, and I got invited to live in
a room at this brand new hotel
with all my food and expenses
paid for,” Maas said. “All I
had to do was what I loved –
play music at the Casablanca
Lounge. I was in heaven.”
The newly built Lani
Kai was THE place to be
on Fort Myers Beach in the
early 80’s, and owner Bob
Conidaris quickly offered
Larry a permanent gig, which
he took.
“I lived there for 3 ½
years,” Maas told us. “It was
an amazing and magical time
– we packed them in every
night.”
Now hooked on
southwest
Florida,
Larry
moved from the Lani Kai to
a house that he bought in
east Fort Myers, and spent
many years working at private
country clubs and public night
clubs from Naples to Sanibel
Island including stints as
musical director for Pelican
Bay (7 ½ years) and The
Landings.
“I organized a lot
of benefits for charities such
as The American Heart
Association and the American
Cancer Society, where I got
to meet and work with many
celebrities like Dick Van Dyke,
Edie Adams, Linda Lavin,
Robert Loggia, Stella Stevens,
Jonathan
Winters,
Lyle
Waggoner, Barry Williams,
Jack Jones, Lee Meriwether,
Jerry Van Dyke, Dick Van
Patten,
Gavin
McLeod,
Barbra McNair, Victor Buono,
and Barbie Benton,” Maas
said. “I also played in public
places – Season 52 in Naples,
the Sanibel Steakhouse and
one of my favorites that your
readers may remember – the
Rooftop Restaurant that used
to be on Bonita Beach.”
Over the years,
Larry also returned to doing
something else he loved –
teaching.
“That’s pretty much
my ‘day job’,” he told us. “I’ve
been a piano teacher for the
last seven years, and most
of my students aren’t kids –
they’re Boomers that learned
to play when they were young
and now want to get back into
it. They study, they practice
and they make amazing
students.”
A little over a year
ago, Larry got a call that
resulted in his life coming full
circle.
February 2016
page 19
“One
of
the
entertainers at Lani Kai’s
newly renovated Island View
Restaurant called and asked
me to substitute,” he told us.
“When I got there and saw
what they had done, I was
blown away – the Island View
is beautiful! And Mr. Conidaris
has put in a gorgeous piano,
lighting,
microphones
–
everything. All I need to bring
is my hands.”
So now, some 30
+ years after first arriving on
our emerald shores, Larry
Maas is a Lani Kai mainstay
once again, performing on
Wednesday,
Friday
and
Saturday nights from 6-9pm.
“I do everything from
Big Band era to Top 40, plus
rock and roll – singing and
playing the piano,” Maas said.
“We get a great mix up there –
people aged 20-80 years old
– so just make a request.”
“After 50 years, I can
play just about anything.”
Keri Hendry Weeg
SAND LIFE
page 20
February 2016
Toucan Do 12-5pm,
Bootleggers BBQ
settings. Pre-register. 239-7658162
Mound House. See Feb 3
Pete Beard
LOVERS KEY INSIDE
PASSAGE KAYAK TOUR
Church. See Feb 1
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
SENIOR 61 CLASS
Rich Lancaster
Larry Maas
FARMER’S MARKET
Girl Meets Boy
10am-3pm, The Village Shoppes
at Health Park, corner of
Summerlin and Bass Roads, Ft.
Myers. See Feb 3
YOGA 11:30am-1pm. Health
Frank Thompson
Bobby D 7-10pm, Cracker Box
& Harmony Center, 15951
McGregor Blvd. See Feb 3
Gatlin Dinner Show
7-10pm, Parrot Key
CANADA DAY 12-6pm,
John Allendar Band
8pm-12am, Castaways
Bootleggers BBQ. Featuring
favorites like good old fashion
poutine and crisp refreshing
Molson.
NETWORKING SECURITY
Community Room A. Join
Electronic Services Librarian,
Chris, to learn how to protect
yourself from compromising
your computer and your identity
online. Pre-register. 239-7658162
NAKED MEADOW 1:30pm,
Beach Library. Community Room
B. Local author wrob presents
Naked Meadow, essays and
poems. Come prepared for a
relaxing and stimulating time.
239-765-8162
899 Buttonwood.
Lani Kai Beach Bars
7-10pm, La Ola
10,000 Views
Thursday,
February 11
FITNESS CLASSES
Sterling. See Feb 1
FLOW STYLE YOGA
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS,
See Feb 4
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS) - BIKE
TRIP 9:30am, van leaves Bay
Oaks for Shark Valley in the
Everglades. Load up the bikes
and head out with us to various
locations around Southwest
Florida for a biking adventure.
Bike transport free, please bring
lunch. $10 member/$12 non
member
LINE DANCE CLASS
GOING FURTHER WITH
YOUR IPAD/IPHONE
about the virtual keyboard, using
the calendar and reminders,
getting directions, controlling
your notifications and changing
10am-2pm. Enjoy learning of
the creatures and plants on the
waterways of this state park.
Truly a lovely place, full of life.
Many birds, fish, dolphins,
urchins conchs and whelks. $50.
239-694-5513.
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
DOG DAY 3:15-4:15pm, Beach
Library. Sign up children for a
time to spend reading to a dog.
Many treasured moments attest
to the value of enjoying reading
without pressure and with the
gentle encouragement of a dog
and dog-handler. 239-765-8162
BINGO NIGHT
Mary Winner
Anthony Wayne
Just the Two of Us
Left of Center
Bobby James
Dave Collaton
Frank Torino
7-10pm, Parrot Key
Boulevard. 239-481-0163
CHAPEL BY THE SEA
CONCERT SERIES
7pm, Chapel By the Sea. Kristine
Stout, Handbell Soloist. Stout
plays three octaves all by herself
and accompanies herself using
a keyboard. A symphony of one!
Free will offering. 239-463-3177
FLORIDA SOUTHWESTERN
JAZZ ENSEMBLE
7-9pm, behind Santini Marina
Plaza. Part of the Friends of the
Arts Concert Series for 2016, the
Jazz Ensemble performs works
from all eras of the Jazz story.
Audience members are regularly
treated to compositions that
range from Dixieland to the Jazz
Age; Swing era favorites to Bebop; Cool jazz to Hard Bop; and
Free Jazz to Fusion. Cash bar.
$25 tickets can be purchased in
advance at the Fish Tale Marina
office or at the door, though
early purchase is recommended
as these events tend to sell out
quick. www.friendsoftheartsfmb.
com.
Kai Beach Bars
The New Vinyls
9pm-1am, Cottage
DJ Jay 10pm-1am,
Friday,
February 12
SPIN 61
7:30am, FMB Woman’s Club,
175 Sterling Ave. See Feb 1
FARMERS MARKET
7:30-11:30am, Fort Myers Beach
Pool parking lot. See Feb 5
LAUGHTER YOGA
playground). See Feb 5
YOGA AT NEWTON PARK
to advanced. Newton Park. See
Feb 5
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS,
See Feb 5
175 Sterling Street. See Feb 5
WATER AEROBICS
WE & FR.
Cont’d pg.25
239-463-5759
SAND LIFE
February 2016
page 21
Beach Etiquette
DOGS ON LEASHES
On
many
public
beaches in Florida, dogs are not
allowed at all. Here in our area,
there is one beach – Dog Beach
on Lovers Key – where Fido can
frolic to his heart’s content, but on
Fort Myers Beach all dogs must
be on a leash no longer than six
permitted in roped off areas of the
beach located behind some of our
restaurants & bars. Camping – or
sleeping overnight – is prohibited
year-round, though small, cooking
fires are allowed – with a permit –
between November 1st and April
30th, with the exception of the
Critical Wildlife Area where fires
are never allowed.
feet. This rule isn’t in place to
be mean, however, it’s meant to
protect the many species – some
endangered – of birds that either
nest here or rest on their migratory
journeys. When dogs – or kids
- chase them and force them
to take flight, they are burning
calories they desperately need for
their flights. Please respect our
feathery friends and keep dogs
under control, including picking
up their waste.
DUNES
LIVE SHELLING
find on our emerald shores – if
you see something moving, gently
place it back in the surf for others
to enjoy.
Most
people
don’t
realize this, but sand dollars and
starfish work hard to keep the
ocean bottom clean by eating
detritus and algae from the
seafloor. Collecting them while
they’re still alive can bring a hefty
fine, as does collecting any live
shell from the beach or Gulf of
Mexico. Be sure and flip over any
sand dollar, starfish or shell you
TRASH AND LITTER
Some forms of litter,
such as cigarette butts and
plastic, can take hundreds of
years to decompose. Please
remove everything you bring to
the beach, no matter how small.
The Town of Fort Myers Beach
makes this easy by providing
free ‘Butt Bags’ for smokers at
all public beach accesses. As the
local saying goes, ‘leave nothing
but footprints’.
LITTLE ESTERO ISLAND
CRITICAL WILDLIFE AREA
This area located on
the south end of the island is
off-limits to all pets, vehicles
and – in posted areas during
bird nesting season from April
to August – people. The area is
mostly wetlands and is preserved
by the state of Florida as a wildlife
habitat for endangered birds and
sea turtles.
FIRES, CAMPING,
ALCOHOL
#28 on Beach Map, pg.22
While we all like to
enjoy the beach, sometimes
people do things that are harmful
to the creatures that call it home
– often without even realizing
it. With that in mind, the Marine
Resources Task Force – an
advisory committee to Town
Council whose members are
charged with educating the public
about protecting our natural
resources – have asked that we
let our visitors know about some
of the rules we have on our island
and, most importantly, what they
are designed to protect.
Alcohol
is
only
Dunes and vegetation
are vital to the life of our beach
because they retain sand – thus
helping to prevent erosion – and
provide habitat and food for many
creatures. They also protect
landward structures from storm
surges. Please do not walk on
or disturb our beautiful dunes but
rather use them as backdrops for
great beach photos!
THE WRACK LINE
That
odd-looking
brownish area left behind by the
tide is actually home to a host
of living creatures, and consists
mostly of things that once lived
in the sea, such as seagrass and
seaweed. Other items such as
seeds, skeletons and shells can
be found in this diverse potpourri
that serves as food to birds and
crabs and sometimes gives birth
to dunes. Folks are encouraged
to explore this area to their heart’s
content – savvy creative types
often find shards of seaglass
polished to a dull luster – but do
not rake it or remove it.
Thank you for taking
the time to enjoy our beach
responsibly! Following these
simple rules will help to ensure its
survival for future generations.
Keri Hendry Weeg
Vice-Chair, Marine Resources
Task Force
SAND LIFE
page 22
February 2016
Beaches ... everywhere
• SHRIMP DOCKS
North side of the anchorage
•
•
•
•
•
1. SAND PAPER/ SAND LIFE
2. PRINT SHOP INK
3. FISH TALE MARINA
4. PINCHERS
5. BEACH PIERSIDE
6. GULFSHORE GRILL
7. CASTAWAYS
•
9. FMB INSURANCE
10. SALTY SAM’S
11. SKYE’S RESTAURANT
12. BEACH THEATER
13. KRAZY WOMAN KAYAK
14. GOOD TIME CHARTERS
15. BEACH BOWL
BOWDITCH POINT
8. PETE’S TIME OUT
16. LIGHTHOUSE TIKI BAR
On the north end (left side) of the island
17. BOOTLEGGERS
18. PARROT KEY
19. TUCKAWAY CAFE
20. MATANZAS ON THE BAY
21. BEACH LIBRARY
22. BAYFRONT BISTRO
23. FRANCESCO’S
24. LOCAL COLOR
25. TIMES SQUARE TATTOOS
26. AQUAGENE SPA
27. COMFORT BY DESIGN
28. ISLAND JEWEL
29. QUICKY CYCLES
30. SUNSET BEACH
February 2016
• Matanzas Pass Preserve
Behind Beach Library and school
SAND LIFE
page 23
• Lover’s Key State park
Next island south of the beach
• Beach pier / Times Square
• beach pool
•
SAND LIFE
February 2016
page 24
SAND LIFE
February 2016
LAKES PARK REGIONAL
FARMERS MARKET
Gladiolus Drive, Fort Myers. See
Feb 5
9:30-11am, Bowditch Park. See
Feb 5
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
IPAD FOR BEGINNERS
Community Room A. Facilitated
by Robin Billing, learn the nuts
and bolts of using your iPad. Preregister. 239-765-8162
Church. See Feb 1
MAH JONGG
Community Room B. Join for
fun and friendship. Bring your
cards and sets. Beginners are
welcome-instruction will be
239-765-8162
AUTHOR PRESENTATION
1pm, Lakes Regional Library,
15290 Bass Rd. Lisa Black,
author of the suspense series
featuring Theresa McLean, will
be guest speaker at the Friends
of Lakes Library meeting. Black
is a forensic specialist for the
Cape Coral Police Dept and will
discuss her latest book, “Close
To The Bone.” All are welcome.
Free.
ANDROID DEVICES
Community Room A. This class
concentrates on using the basic
features. Includes searching
for and downloading apps and
widgets and offers other helpful
tips. Pre-register. 239-765-8162
GUITAR 1:30pm, Beach Library.
Community Room B. James Lee
will show how to tune a guitar
and the basic chords which then
enables you to play over 5,000
songs. Bring your guitar or come
w/o if just curious. 239-765-8162
ADULT PIRATE CRUISE
Cruise at Salty Sam’s Marina.
See Feb 5
SUNSET CELEBRATION
SHRINE BINGO 6:30pm-Early
Bird; 7pm-regular. 19171 San
Carlos Blvd. See Feb 5
Bill’s
Cottage
Hester Prynn, 9:30pm-1:30am,
Lani Kai Beach Bars
page 25
Congregation 5-8pm, Matanzas
on the Bay
Larry Maas
Kapo Kings 6:30-9:30pm,
Doc Fords
Anthony Wayne
David Johnson
7-10pm, Parrot Key
Gatlin 7-10pm,
Bootleggers BBQ
Harry Boyle Show
Ola
Cracker Box Band
7-10pm, Cracker Box
Patrick Murphy
The Manipulators
8pm-12am, Castaways
Allen Small 5-8pm,
The Outrigger
Local Volunteers
Mark Wesley
3 Crooked Steps
Free Spirit 5-9pm,
Lani Kai Sun Deck
The Troublemakerz
10pm-2am, Sunset Beach
Tropical Grill
Cont’d pg.26
SAND LIFE
page 26
Cont’d from pg 25
Saturday,
February 13
Robby Hutto, 1-5pm; Hot Hazy &
Humid, 6:30-9:30pm, Doc Fords
Jeff Greene
YOGA ON THE BEACH
2-5pm, Outrigger
Resort. See Feb 6
pier. See Feb 6
PUMP & SPIN CLASS
175 Sterling. See Feb 6
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS,
Anthony Wayne
Free Spirit
February 2016
Pre-register as this event usually
sells out. Judy Greenwood, 708359-0466 or fjgreenwood@gmail.
com.
DECARLO ROCKS Noon-
WATER AEROBICS
6pm, Valerie’s Lounge, 17264
San Carlos Boulevard. Hosted by
the Michael DeCarlo Foundation.
Live bands on outdoor stage,
dunk tank, food trucks, 50/50
raffles, prize raffles, silent
auctions. Benefits the victims of
the Cape Coral tornado.
Legion, 899 Buttonwood Dr
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS,
See Feb 1
WE & FR. 239-463-5759
BEACH YOGA
9am, Access 22 (Connecticut
Street). See Feb 1
ABS 61
See Feb 6
Larry Maas
FORT MYERS BEACH’S
GOT TALENT 9am-2pm,
Mary Winner
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
Dave Collaton
Church. See Feb 1
Harry Boyle Show
Toucan Do
Fords
Santini Plaza. Dance? Sing?
Play a musical instrument? Come
present your incredible talent or
cheer for those that do! Celebrity
judges, trophies for junior and
senior competitors, host MC’s
Mark List and Jessie Titus (Roy
Clark and Minnie Pearl). 50/50
hourly raffle benefiting Find A
Home, Give A Home - donations
accepted. 40 + arts and crafts
vendors. Free parking. Bonnie [email protected]
AQUA JOGGING
9-10am, Beach Pool. See Feb 6
Frank Torino
7-10pm, Parrot Key
Pain in the Grass
7-10pm, Cracker Box
6:30-10:30pm, La Ola
Greg Watts
SENIOR 61 CLASS
Lounge. 466-7788
$12. 209-1698
Moon Child
8pm-12am, Castaways
Small Town 2-5pm, Outrigger
10am, Good Time Charters at
Snook Bight Marina. See Feb 3
The Troublemakerz
9pm-1am, Cottage
Rockin’ Jake
Lani Kai Beach Bars
ESTUARY KAYAK TOUR
10,000 Views
Free Spirit
Lee Hagen
Toucan Do
Pete Beard
Michael DiAmore
7-10pm, Parrot Key
Sam DeArmond
(SUP) YOGA
GUIDED KAYAK TOUR
See Feb 3
BINGO
YOGA ON THE BEACH
Resort. See Feb 6
SUNSET CELEBRATION
food & fun!
Jammin G’s, 1-6pm; Simple Jack,
Bars
Chris Kemp, 3-6pm; NostaDah,
Tropical Grill
Sunday,
February 14
BAYSIDE ESTATES
MEN’S CLUB PANCAKE
BREAKFAST 8-11am,
Recreation Hall in Bayside
Estates off of San Carlos
Boulevard. The Bayside Estates’
Men’s Club offers eggs, sausage,
coffee, OJ and all-you-can-eat
pancakes for $5. Made to order
omelets + $1.
7TH ANNUAL VALENTINE’S
DAY VOW RENEWAL
CEREMONY 10am and 3pm,
Lovers Key State Park. Includes
champagne toast, full brunch or
lunch, coffee, cakes, desserts,
dancing, socializing as well as a
special gift and door prizes. Bring
camera as photo stations will be
set up. $75/couple, benefits the
Friends of Lovers Key (FOLKS).
Ira Wilkes 8pm-12am, Castaways
Scotty Bryan
Troublemakerz 9pm-1am,
Cottage
Sideshow Bob
Soapy Tuna
Open Mic Jam Nite
6-9pm, Bonita Bills
Monday,
February 15
SPIN 61
Jam Session
6-9pm, Cracker Box
Rockin Jake
Will Kiser
6-10pm, Smokin
Oyster Brewery
Cont’d pg.28
February 2016
SAND LIFE
page 27
Downtown Redevelopment Project Proposed Grand Resorts FMB
parking garage at Helmerich,
nine projected restaurants plus
retail spaces, a fitness center
and a spa, conference center
and parking ramp - all projected
to create 500 new jobs. Those
original plans have now been
scaled back to three hotels with
519 rooms, a smaller, 1100 space
parking garage, Key West-style
architecture and an open plaza
out to the Gulf separating two of
the resorts
Along the beachfront, a
Coastal Protection System (CPS)
is planned with a public boardwalk
that will stretch for almost a ½ mile
from the Mermaid to Lynn Hall
Park, with eleven beach access
points and public restrooms
along it. The CPS is designed to
protect landward structures from
storm damage, and allow Grand
Resorts to build their resorts at
ground level. In addition, the plans
would re-route Estero Boulevard
to eliminate the traffic light and
create a roundabout at the foot of
the Matanzas Bridge. That, plus a
‘fast ramp’ into the parking garage
designed to funnel daytrippers off
of Estero Boulevard, is designed
to help with the island’s legendary
traffic problem. New plans also
call for a ‘pedestrian/cyclist
causeway’ coming off the bridge
and crossing 5th Street into the
parking garage.
The
plan
includes
property that Grand Resorts FMB
now owns, plus land that the
Town owns (Canal Street access)
and land that Lee County owns
(Seafarer’s Mall and Crescent
Beach Family Park).
All of this is still in the
conceptual stage only. No permits
have been applied for, no land
has been sold by either the Town
or the County, and no contracts
have been signed - the project
remains in the planning stages.
Monthly meetings are being held
to gather public input, with the
next one planed for late February.
Stay tuned to the weekly edition of
the Sand Paper for details.
For more information
on the proposed project, visit
grandresortsfmb.com
Keri Hendry Weeg
#6 on map pg.22
So what’s all the
hubbub about downtown? For our
seasonal residents and visitors
just arriving, our little community
has been in an uproar since the
end of November, when developer
Tom Torgerson first revealed
his preliminary concept for the
properties Grand Resorts FMB
(Torgerson is CEO) purchased
last year in the downtown area.
The redevelopment project’s
footprint includes the area from
the Mermaid Lounge to the
parking lot next to the Sunset
Beach Grille, plus Helmerich
Plaza, the old Seafarer’s location
and a few other properties.
The conceptual plans
originally included four hotels with
562 rooms, a 1500-space, 5-story
page 28
Gatlin Dinner Show
7-10pm, Parrot Key
Wendell Ray
8pm-11pm, Castaways
3 Crooked Steps
9pm-1am, Cottage
Simple Jack
Tuesday,
February 16
PUMP 61 CLASS 7:30am and
6pm, FMB Woman’s Club, 175
GUIDED BEACH WALK
Blvd. See Feb 2
FLOW STYLE YOGA
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS, See
Feb 2
CALOOSA CARVERS
DEMONSTRATION 9:30am-
noon, Mound House. See Feb 2
LINE DANCE CLASS
NATIVE AMERICAN
CULTURES
Community Room A. David
Hamera will look at traditional
ceremonies with a special focus
on pipe celebrations and sweat
lodges. 239-765-8162
TODDLER TUESDAY
Campus. See Feb 2
BOOK DISCUSSION
Community Room B. Group
discusses The Girl from the
Train by Irma Joubert. Join in to
participate or observe. 239-7658162
MONDAY SCREENINGS
9am-3pm, Beach Library.
Quiet Room. Angel Duncan, a
mental health therapist with
the Neuropsychiatric Research
SAND LIFE
Center of SWFL, will be
conducting the screenings which
take approximately 30 mins. $3
set up fee. 239-765-8162
SALUTE TO
SHAKESPEARE 2016
(SESSIONS 3 OF 7)
10am-Noon, Shell Point Village.
Comedies – “Love’s Labours
Lost,” with its diverse array of
story lines and characters, will
be highlighted in this session.
One of the works Shakespeare
created entirely from his own
imagination, this play, according
to one source, “is a showpiece
of linguistic bravura, containing
between 200 and 240 puns and
quibbles, most of them based on
contemporary events and courtly
in-jokes.” $10, 239-489-8472
ESTUARY KAYAK TOUR
LIVERPOOL RUMMY
463-3755.
FOOD, FORTUNES,
MEDICINES AND POISONS
This engaging and informative
walk along the Mound House
grounds educates participants
about many of the 100 plants and
trees from Florida and around
the globe that have influenced
human history. $5, free for Mound
House members. 239-765-0865
FASHION SHOW & LUNCH
11:30am, Ascension Parish Hall,
6025 Estero, Blvd. Ascension
Catholic Women sponsor
their annual fashion show and
luncheon with fashions presented
by Leani’s of Santini Plaza.
Doors open at 11:30am. $25
includes lunch and door prizes.
Tickets and more info call Janet
239-765-7692.
LEARNING HOW TO PLAY
THE GUITAR 1:30pm, Beach
free for Mound House members.
239-765-0865
YOGA 5:45pm. Newton Park.
See Feb 2
February 2016
FLEET TOUR
9am -Noon. Ostego Bay
Foundation. See Feb 3
BEACH BAPTIST
FARMER’S MARKET 9am-
2pm, Beach Baptist Parking Lot.
See Feb 3
Bars
ABS 61
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS) KAYAKING TRIP
Meagan Rose 5-8pm,
The Outrigger
Steve Hanlon
John Friday
Beauty and the Bass
Karaoke with Jim
6-9pm, Bonita Bills
Anthony Wayne
Just the Two of Us
9:30am, van leaves Bay Oaks
for Tarpon Bay on Sanibel. All
of our kayaks our tandem - no
experience required. Single
paddler? We will match you with
someone. Lunch at Doc Fords.
$25 member/$30 non member.
239-765-4222.
EXPLORING
ETHNOBOTANY
Preserve. See Feb 3
GUIDED KAYAK TOUR
See Feb 3
Gatlin Dinner Show
7-10pm, Parrot Key
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
Wayward Souls
8pm-12am, Castaways
Church. See Feb 1
The Bad Banditos
9pm-1am, Cottage
Whatevers Clever
Funk Bone
Wednesday,
February 17
SHARKS 10:30am, Beach
Library. Join Lovers Key State
park Naturalist, Katie Moses,
to discover why sharks are
important, break down some
popular myths and learn some
tips to keep safe while swimming.
239-765-8162
SENIOR 61 CLASS
Library. James Lee will show how
to tune a guitar and the basic
chords which then enables you to
play over 5,00 songs. Bring your
guitar or come w/o if just curious.
239-765-8162
GETTING STARTED WITH
EBOOKS 1:30pm, Beach
Myers. See Feb 3
Learn how to download and read
eBooks. Bring your eReader with
you. Pre-register. 239-765-8162
BEACH NESTING BIRDS
4pm, Mound House. Explore the
wondrous cycle of beach nesting
birds and the importance of the
critical nesting habitat for these
species on Fort Myers Beach. $5,
See Feb 1
Resort. See Feb 3
WATER AEROBICS
WE & FR. 239-463-5759
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS,
See Feb 3
COMMERCIAL FISHING
FARMER’S MARKET
OHIO DAY 12-6pm,
Bootleggers BBQ. Come out and
celebrate your favorite team and
enjoy live music, great food and
awesome drink specials
NUTRITION 1:30am, Beach
Library. Dr. Annie Norman
February 2016
Ray provides advice in diet
and exercise, slicing through
conflicting info and providing the
nuts & bolts of good health. 239765-8162
Pete Beard
Larry Maas
Girl Meets Boy
899 Buttonwood.
SAND LIFE
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS,
See Feb 4
Rich Lancaster
Preserve. See Feb 4
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
Frank Thompson
LINE DANCE CLASS
Bobby D
7-10pm, Cracker Box
APPS FOR IPAD/IPHONE
Off the Chain
8pm-12am, Castaways
Lani Kai Beach Bars
10,000 Views
Johnny Walker, 2-5pm; DVS
Duo, 7-10pm, La Ola
Wayne DeLoria
about using the Apps, iTunes,
and iBooks stores, including
searching, downloading and
paying for items and restoring
deleted items. Pre-register. 239765-8162
ESTATE PLANNING
Thursday,
February 18
1:30am, Beach Library. Join
Lissette Crescimone, Esq. with
the Presser Law Firm, for an
educational, interactive seminar
about protecting and preserving
your hard earned assets. 239765-8162
FITNESS CLASSES
Sterling. See Feb 1
SONGWRITERS AT
SUNSET 4-6pm, Lovers Key
State Park. Free (with paid
parking) acoustic concert of all
original music. Seating available
for first 80 people. Refreshments
by donation, which will benefit the
Friends of Lovers Key (FOLKS).
FLOW STYLE YOGA
SUNDOWN SING ALONG
5pm, Bowditch Point Park. Meet
on deck near parking lot. Free
with paid parking ($2/hour).
BINGO NIGHT
Boulevard. 239-481-0163
MIDDLE EAST TURMOIL
#29 on map pg.22
7-8:30pm, Shell Point Village.
The Middle East has always
been an enigma to observers
in the West. What is the
background of such an important
yet volatile part of the world? To
understand this, we will analyze
the history and culture of the
great powers that have ruled
the region. We will examine the
key historical events that led to
the political and religious turmoil
we see today and investigate
some of the most infamous
milestones on this long journey.
$10. Registration required. 239489-8472
page 29
Kai Beach Bars
Mary Winner
Anthony Wayne
Hot Hazy & Humid
Just the Two of Us
Left of Center
Dave Collaton
Free Coasters
DJ Jay 10pm-1am,
Friday,
February 19
SPIN 61 7:30am, FMB
Woman’s Club, 175 Sterling Ave.
See Feb 1
FARMERS MARKET
LAUGHTER YOGA
YOGA AT NEWTON PARK
to advanced. Newton Park.
See Feb 5
Cont’d pg.32
SAND LIFE
page 30
February 2016
Markle Sparkle’s
HOROSCOPES
Research asst: Java Jo
GENERAL COMMENTS:
In my previous life as a New Englander I always looked at February
as more winter, more ice, more cold. Worst month of the year. Thank
the Romans it’s a short month! Two decades later I’m in the subtropics
complaining about a week of cloudy weather upsetting my perfect
‘winter’ of temperatures in the 80s. Silly, right? Trouble is, we’re serious.
So, to ease our cabin fever let’s free-flow with the galaxy and see if we
can channel some ET or touring alien tourists stopping off in the rim
zone of the galaxy for some laughs. Everybody got their SETI@home
programs running (Yes, it’s real - Google it)?
AQUARIUS (JAN 20 - FEB 18)
According to the Rand-Galactic Space Map, Aquarius is a prominent
beacon that all medium-sized Astro-RVs have on their Galactic-GPS
consoles. Einstein has already hypothesized that we’re all energy. That
means Aquarius is an energy signature of a particular wavelength. That
makes you kinda special this month. You’ll stand out more than others.
Be flashy. Others will be looking to you for guidance.
PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20)
Let’s face it - our biggest resource on this planet is water. The stuff is
literally everywhere! We’ve got so much it falls from the sky. As the
residents of Sol-3 in this solar system we are the 1%-er’s of water. I
don’t know if you’ve noticed or not but many of our off-planet tourists
come for the water (remember several decades ago when one group
went so far as to try and drain our planet of all water? That was a tense
moment). So, Pisces - your power this month comes from water. Keep
it pure.
ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 19)
Okay, Aries - you’re going to have a lot of tourists approaching you
this month. And some of them ain’t gonna be pretty! Tourism numbers
are going up, and with them the strangeness of our visitors. We are all
one in the universes - yeah, I know, I know. But those lizard guys really
creep me out. Anyway, Aries - we’ll be looking to you to show us the
way of interaction. You’re the one with all the energy and drive. Think up
some fun games that will entertain the aliens. Could be fun!
TAURUS (APRIL 20 - MAY 20)
I know, you’re a stay-at-home, do some gardening, maybe have a little
romance kinda person. Well, you’re in luck! You get to be all you can be
this month. Full out. Flat out. You know what ETs love to do more than
anything else? Watch. They’re come swishing over some crazy gigantic
space at speeds faster than light, and then stop dead in our upper
atmosphere and watch us. Then, ten minutes later - zoom - they’re
gone. Somehow this is their vacation. So let’s entertain them for the 10
minutes they’re here! Do some gardening.
GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUNE 21)
Last time I was up at the Space Station I noticed on their bulletin
board there was a big need for translators. As anyone who knows the
frequencies of a Geminite can tell you this is right up your alley! I’m not
a Gemini so I can’t tell you how you go about becoming an alien/ET
translator, but you could probably pick up some slang phrases off your
SETI@home monitor. You do know how to read radio frequencies right?
Look for funky, weird squiggles all bunched together. You’ll pick it up in
no time, if I know you.
CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY 22)
Don’t bug out on me here. We all know how you feel about ETs hanging
around the planet. It’s a short month. You can do this. While everyone
else is hanging with the groovy Alpha-Centaurians you’ll be hanging
around the home front with your buds, keeping the fires warm and the
smiles happening. The frequencies (or auras) you give off will be like a
rest center on the intergalactic highway. A geodesic web of well-being
will surround you and … well, you’re on your own from here. Do what
you do so well.
LEO (JULY 23 - AUG. 22)
Man, I hope you like to perform! I don’t know how it happened but a
poster of an imaginary concert (it was supposed to be a prop in the
background of a travel commercial) somehow got snuck aboard the
space shuttle and unloaded on the space station, where one of those
foreign astronauts beamed it into the center of the galaxy. On the poster
you were made up to be a mega-awesome rock star. You are supposed
to perform later this month. And now the galaxy, our galactic civilization,
is all coming to see the concert. I kid you not. The invasion is coming,
and they’re coming for the concert. Luckily there are a few million of
you. Remember, the show must go on!
VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEPT 22)
Ah, the reluctant ringleader. When those strange, off-planet tourists
show up they’re always looking for a ringleader. Inevitably, like it or not,
truth or lies, that usually ends up being you. Backpedalling doesn’t work
- on some planets that’s a very popular dance. You could suddenly find
yourself in the middle of the dance floor with some Picasso-like dance
partner. You don’t want that. Best thing you can do is become a tour
guide. Hook up with a Gemini translator (see above). Have fun with it!
LIBRA (SEPT 23 - OCT 23)
You were born for this work. An opening just came up on the Intergalactic
Better Business Poly-Conglomerate. They need an ambassador to act
as a go-between for the troublesome races trying to reject our Greater
Good for All. Compassionate Supreme Corporation is looking for
someone with your exact qualifications. They’ve been watching your
babysitting technique and they think you’re perfect for the position. If
you’re interested just go outside, point at Orion, and say, “Okay. I’ll do
it.” They’ll get back to you soon as possible (Orion’s just a robo-relay
station. It’s got to go a few galaxies beyond that to reach IBBPC).
SCORPIO (OCT 24 - NOV 21)
Remember Pluto, the ‘planet’? The planet that’s supposed to rule your
sign? Weird, huh? But wait! They just discovered a new planet that’s
huge! As the only sign without a planet I think it’s only fair that you be
given the new planet - just as soon as they verify it’s really there (I guess
somebody’s gotta take a ride out there and check it out, maybe take
samples. I dunno, not my forte). So, I guess you should expect a few
changes this month.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22 - DEC 21)
There was a comedy troupe from Betelgeuse that passed through
our solar system in the early 70s. They were looking for a Sagittariusfrequented comedienne who lived off the Aquarius Radio Beacon
somewhere on Sol-3. They were traveling through time dimensions
so they weren’t sure if they had the right year. They never found what
they were looking for and promised to be back this year in February.
If you’re ever approached by a bunch of comedians this month you’ll
know what’s up.
CAPRICORN (DEC 22 - JAN 19)
With the big influx of alien tourists from around the galaxy coming here
things are going to get kinda crazy. Especially with the new space station
they’re building in Time Square to handle all the off-planet traffic (you
thought it was bad with ultra-lights!). You may be drafted as a ‘volunteer’
traffic guard. The cool thing is you’ll have jet packs. That’s right - you’ll
be patrolling the airspace above the pier so you’ve got to be able to flit
around at will. Try to contain yourself (wink).
DISCLAIMER: As per usual I disclaim any knowledge of where the
true astrological predictions for the month of February are. They were
around here someplace, but I can’t remember where I put them. Anyway,
deadlines being deadlines I came up with these predictions, which were
originally going to the Society for People Visiting Other Planets. Their
magazine is really cool! Just keep in mind these predictions were written
for aliens, which you obviously aren’t. Live long and prosper!
February 2016
SAND LIFE
page 31
ANOTHER LAZY DAY AT THE BEACH.
SAND LIFE
page 32
Feb 5
PROGRESSIVE BRIDGE Ronn Daniels, 1-5pm, Sean
WATER AEROBICS
Bill’s
WE & FR. 239-463-5759
LAKES PARK REGIONAL
FARMERS MARKET
Cottage
Feb 5
Steve Farst, 9:30pm-1:30am,
Lani Kai Beach Bars
Ola
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
Patrick Murphy
Feb 5
PILATES 10-11am,
First Baptist Church. See Feb 1
PINK GOLD RUSH
Community Room A. Learn about
shrimping in SWFL by watching
this WGCU documentary which
received the People’s Choice
Award at the FMB Film Festival.
239-765-8162
MAH JONGG
Community Room B. Join for
fun and friendship. Bring your
cards and sets. Beginners are
welcome-instruction will be
239-765-8162
WOUNDED WARRIOR BIKE
RIDE 12:30pm, The Groves
RV Resort. A 10-mile monthly
bike ride to benefit the Wounded
Warriors program. $10, t-shirts
available. Call Phil at 616-4811551 or Dick at 603-355-9296 for
more information.
AFTERNOON MOVIE AT
THE LIBRARY 1:30pm,
Beach Library. Showing “Second
Coming,” a mysterious and
intimate fable and Rotterdam’s
International Film Festival winner
of the Big Screen Award. Preregister a minimum of one day
before. 239-765-8162
ADULT PIRATE CRUISE
See Feb 5
SUNSET CELEBRATION
Allen Small
Mark Wesley
Larry Maas
Congregation
5-8pm, Matanzas on the Bay
Free Spirit
Robby Hutto
Anthony Wayne
David Johnson
7-10pm, Parrot Key
Harry Boyle Show
Cracker Box Band
7-10pm, Cracker Box
Off the Chain
8pm-12am, Castaways
Simple Jack 9pm-1am, Valerie’s
Half Step Down
Busted Stuff
Tropical Grill
Saturday,
February 20
THUNDERBIRD MEN’S
CLUB BREAKFAST
7-10am, 200 Derwent Boulevard
(off San Carlos, south of Ft.
Myers Beach RV Park and east
of Marko’s Diner). See Feb 6
BIRD PATROL WALKING
TOUR
8am, Bunche Beach. Experience
one of the best birding sites in
Lee County. Bring shoes that
can get wet, binoculars, sun
protection, a bottle of drinking
water. Free with paid parking.
www.birdpatrol.org.
Resort. See Feb 6
LOCAL CHARTS CLASS
February 2016
Resort. See Feb 6
SUNSET CELEBRATION
food & fun with
Jammin G’s, 1-6pm; 10,000
Views, 9:30pm-1:30am, Lani Kai
Beach Bars
Whatevers Clever, 1-5pm; Hot
Hazy & Humid, 6:30-9:30pm, Doc
Fords
8:30am, San Carlos Bay Sail &
Power Squadron, 16048 San
Carlos Blvd. Info and registration
at www.scbps.com or call 239466-4040.
YOGA ON THE BEACH
2-5pm, Outrigger
PUMP & SPIN CLASS
Scott Alan ‘The Island Doctor’
2-6pm, Sunset Beach Tropical
Grill
pier. See Feb 6
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS,
See Feb 6
AQUA JOGGING
(SUP) YOGA
BOOK SALE
9am-12:30pm, Beach Library.
Giant sale, sponsored by The
Friends of the Library, in the
parking garage. Minimal prices
and lots to select from on the
tables. 239-765-8162
Jeff Greene
Anthony Wayne
Free Spirit
Larry Maas
Dave Collaton
Mary Winner
Harry Boyle Show
Toucan Do
ESTERO BAY
Frank Torino
7-10pm, Parrot Key
10am-1pm. Bonita Beach. See
Feb 2
Pain in the Grass
7-10pm, Cracker Box
GUIDED KAYAK TOUR
Torched
8pm-12am, Castaways
See Feb 3
BINGO
BAY OAKS YOUTH - HEAT
VS. WIZARDS
3pm, van leaves Bay Oaks.
Return around midnight. Come
watch the Miami Heat take on
the Washington Wizards. $30
member/$35 non member. 239765-4222.
YOGA ON THE BEACH
The New Vinyls
9pm-1am, Cottage
Free Coasters
Sunday,
February 21
Legion, 899 Buttonwood Dr.
SAND LIFE
February 2016
NASCAR PARTY
1pm, Daytona 500. Hoosiers in
Paradise
Fords
6:30-10:30pm, La Ola
Greg Watts
Small Town
2-5pm, Outrigger
Joey Gilmore
Free Spirit
Lee Hagen
Toucan Do
PILATES
10-11am, First Baptist Church.
See Feb 1
SENIOR 61 CLASS
AUSTRALIA AND NEW
ZEALAND 10:30am, Beach
Sam DeArmond
Join Pat Smith as she shares her
journey to these countries in the
Southern Hemisphere and talks
about the people and customs.
239-765-8162
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
DRAWING
Community Room B. Join
pencil, eraser and paper. 239765-8162
WRITING CLASS
1:30-3:30pm, Beach Library.
Open discussion with Corinne
Thwing to perfect writing
techniques. Encouragement,
guidance and practical tips are
offered one-on-one to master
improved writing. 239-765-8162
BY THE LIGHT OF THE
MOON WALK
Soapy Tuna
Monday,
February 22
SPIN 61
WATER AEROBICS
WE & FR. 239-463-5759
BEACH YOGA
Street). See Feb 1
ABS 61
Pete Beard
Lounge. 466-7788
Troublemakerz
9pm-1am, Cottage
Michael DiAmore
7-10pm, Parrot Key
Chris Kemp
9pm-11pm, Castaways
Lani Kai Beach Bars
6pm, Matanzas Pass Preserve.
Friends of the Matanzas Pass
Preserve offers monthly walks in
the Preserve. These experiential
hands-on programs will awaken
and sharpen the senses. Led
by volunteers carrying candlelit lanterns. Adults only, limited
to 12 participants. Registration
required. Call Jim 239-565-7437.
YOGA 6pm, DiamondHead Resort.
Iyengar style yoga with Susan
Carter. All levels welcome. $12.
209-1698
IRRERA BROTHERS DUO
7pm, Shell Point Village. Hailed
by the late world-renowned
violinist and pedagogue, Zvi
Zeitlin, as “two gifted boys,”
the critically acclaimed Irrera
Brothers Duo has captivated
audiences throughout the United
States and abroad. $26. 239454-2067
page 33
the Shy Wolf Sanctuary will talk
about who they are, what they do
and the importance of wolves in
the wild. 239-765-8162
TODDLER TUESDAY
Campus. See Feb 2
ESTUARY KAYAK TOUR
LIVERPOOL RUMMY
Geo
463-3755.
Scotty Bryan
CALUSA TOOLS
DEMONSTRATION
Sideshow Bob
Open Mic Jam Nite
6-9pm, Bonita Bills
Jam Session
6-9pm, Cracker Box
Lou Canoe
Will Kiser
Tommy V
8pm-11pm, Castaways
3 Crooked Steps
9pm-1am, Cottage
Simple Jack
Tuesday,
February 23
PUMP 61 CLASS 7:30am and
6pm, FMB Woman’s Club, 175
GUIDED BEACH WALK
Blvd. See Feb 2
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
FLOW STYLE YOGA
Feb 2
This hands on demonstration
will explore the most powerful
American Indian tribe in
Southwest Florida crafted their
tools, weapons and implements
of daily life from their natural
surroundings. Participants
will handle and use several
reproduction Calusa tools to
experience life in the ‘shell
age’. $5, free for Mound House
members. 239-765-0865
GUITAR
1:30pm, Beach Library. James
Lee will show how to tune a
guitar and the basic chords which
then enables you to play over
5,000 songs. Bring your guitar
or come w/o if just curious. 239765-8162
YOGA
5:45pm. Newton Park. See Feb 2
LIBRARY BOARD
Community Room A. Monthly
meeting of Library Board to
discuss and review current library
activities and plans. 239-7658162
Bars
Meagan Rose
LINE DANCE CLASS
Beauty and the Bass
WOLVES 10:30am, Beach
John Friday
5-9pm, Petey’s
Upper Deck
Library. Lois DelGrosso from
Cont’d pg.34
SAND LIFE
page 34
Karaoke with Jim
6-9pm, Bonita Bills
Steve Hanlon
Just the Two of Us
Anthony Wayne
Gatlin Dinner Show
7-10pm, Parrot Key
The Hipnauticals
8pm-12am, Castaways
The Bad Banditos
9pm-1am, Cottage
Funk Bone
Whatevers Clever
Wednesday,
February 24
SPIN 61
Resort. See Feb 3
WATER AEROBICS
WE & FR. 239-463-5759
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS,
See Feb 3
COMMERCIAL FISHING
FLEET TOUR
9am -Noon. Ostego Bay
Foundation. See Feb 3
QUILTING 9am-1pm, Beach
Quilters just starting out, or those
working on long term projects
gather to enjoy both quilting and
conversation. $2 set up fee. 239765-8162
EXPLORING
ETHNOBOTANY
GUIDED KAYAK TOUR
Lani Kai Beach Bars
Preserve. See Feb 3
See Feb 3
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
IPAD CONTINUED
Community Room A. Hear about
top features, how to keep your
email, contacts and calendars
up to date and organized. Preregister. 239-765-8162
7-10pm, La Ola
Frank Torino
Endre D
Pete Beard
Church. See Feb 1
Rich Lancaster
SENIOR 61 CLASS
Larry Maas
FARMER’S MARKET
Myers. See Feb 3
UNDERSTANDING THE
‘CLOUD’ 1:30pm, Beach
Library. Community Room A. Join
Chris, for a beginner’s class on
cloud computing. Pre-register.
239-765-8162
OHIO DAY 11am-6pm,
Bootleggers BBQ. Calling all
Badgers! Featuring Bratwurst,
Cheese Curds, Beer and
Cheese Soup. Great Specials on
Wisconsin Beers
MEET THE ARTIST OF THE
MONTH 3:30pm, Beach Library.
Library Commons. Meet Carol
Williams, founder of MoodsArts
and member of SWFL Art
League, and discover her love
for the sun, sea and tropics. 239765-8162
BAY OAKS YOUTH
Frank Thompson
Girl Meets Boy
Gatlin Dinner Show
7-10pm, Parrot Key
Bobby D
7-10pm, Cracker Box
Off the Chain
8pm-12am, Castaways
10,000 Views
Thursday,
February 25
FITNESS CLASSES
Sterling. See Feb 1
FLOW STYLE YOGA
7-8pm, Teen Weightlifting. 239765-4222
BAY OAKS ACTIVITIES,
Lot. See Feb 3
899 Buttonwood.
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS) - BIKE
TRIP 9:30am, van leaves Bay
BEACH BAPTIST
FARMER’S MARKET
ABS 61
See Feb 4
Oaks for Lakes Park in Ft. Myers.
Load up the bikes and head
out with us to various locations
around Southwest Florida for a
biking adventure. Bike transport
free, please bring lunch or
concession available. $10
member/$12 non member
February 2016
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
LINE DANCE CLASS
JEWELRY CLASS
10:30am, Beach Library. Make
your own necklace and earrings.
Each person gets a kit with the
materials and instructor Tamara
Lundborg will guide. Pre-register
and $5 materials fee. 239-7658162
TREASURES AND PIRATES
1:30pm, Beach Library. Jon Paul
Van Harper will talk about the
Spanish trade routes and the (3)
Spanish fleets that sank off the
Florida coast. 239-765-8162
SKIN CANCER - EMERGING
TARGETED THERAPIES
FOR MELANOMA
2:15pm, Shell Point Village
Church. Incidents of Melanoma
is on the rise. Dr. Sullivan will
discuss the latest studies on
using immunotherapy drugs
to greatly improve the survival
rate of patients with metastatic
melanoma. Dr. Ryan Sullivan,
Medical Oncologist. Registration
required. 239-433-7936
BINGO NIGHT
Boulevard. 239-481-0163
Kai Beach Bars
Two Hands
5-8pm, Outrigger
Mary Winner
SAND LIFE
February 2016
Anthony Wayne
Just the Two of Us
Left of Center
Bobby James
Dave Collaton
John Stey
7-10pm, Cracker Box
Gatlin
Torched
8pm-12am, Castaways
The New Vinyls 9pm-1am,
Cottage
Free Coasters
DJ Jay 10pm-1am, \Sunset
Friday,
February 26
SPIN 61
FARMERS MARKET
LAUGHTER YOGA
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS,
See Feb 5
YOGA AT NEWTON PARK
to advanced. Newton Park. See
Feb 5
WATER AEROBICS
WE & FR. 239-463-5759
LAKES PARK REGIONAL
FARMERS MARKET
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
DVS Fort Myers, 9:30pm1:30am, Lani Kai Beach Bars
PILATES
Ola
HISTORY OF FORT MYERS
BEACH 10:30am, Beach
Patrick Murphy
See Feb 1
Library. Community Room A. Join
Russ Carter as he showcases
the many events, culture and
people living here. 239-765-8162
MAH JONGG 10:30am, Beach
Join for fun and friendship. Bring
your cards and sets. Beginners
are welcome-instruction will be
239-765-8162
ESTUARY KAYAK TOUR
TO THE SOUTH AND EAST
SIDES OF ESTERO BAY
10am-2pm. See the Imperial
River gently pour into Estero Bay,
bringing ingredients necessary
for a productive estuarine
system. This area winds through
mangrove mazes. Up to 300
species of birds and a wide
variety of aquatic species seen
here. $50. 239-694-5513.
COMPUTER
MAINTENANCE
Community Room A. Join
Chris, to find out how to make
your computer run faster,
smoother and safer. Pre-register.
239-765-8162
WORDSTOCK 1:30pm, Beach
Come and read, listen and
celebrate original works. Hosted
by local provocateur wrob. 239765-8162
ADULT PIRATE CRUISE
See Feb 5
SUNSET CELEBRATION
Cottage
Feb 5
Bill’s
Feb 5
Allen Small
Congregation
5-8pm, Matanzas on the Bay
Mark Wesley
Free Spirit
Larry Maas
Anthony Wayne
Cadillac Blue
David Johnson
7-10pm, Parrot Key
Gatlin
Harry Boyle Show
Cracker Box Band
7-10pm, Cracker Box
Hester Prynn
8pm-12am, Castaways
Flying Hasselhoffs
Cherry Bombs
3 Crooked Steps
Tropical Grill
Saturday,
February 27
page 35
Visions of the Past
Matanzas Pass Preserve.
Storytellers come alive in the
Preserve, sharing local history.
Watch the Sand Paper for
details or call Dorothy for more
information 239-851-7166.
Stand Up Paddleboard (SUP)
Yoga
ESTERO BAY
10am-1pm. Bonita Beach. See
Feb 2
Guided Kayak Tour
See Feb 3
Cornhole Tournament
11am, check in, 12pm, start up.
Matanzas on the Bay. 64 teams
maximum, best of three game,
single elimination. Registration
includes event t-shirt and goodie
bag. Prizes include gift cards
and possibly NFL tickets. www.
jendurecreation.com to register.
Bingo
Yoga on the Beach
Resort. See Feb 6
Sunset Celebration
food & fun.
Jammin G’s, 1-6pm; Silver Tree,
Bars
3 Crooked Steps, 1-5pm; Hot
Hazy & Humid, 6:30-9:30pm, Doc
Fords
Jeff Greene
2-5pm, Outrigger
YOGA ON THE BEACH
pier. See Feb 6
Chris Kemp 3-6pm, Sunset
Resort. See Feb 6
PUMP & SPIN CLASS
Aqua Jogging
Bay Oaks Athletics, See Feb 6
Free Spirit
Larry Maas
Mary Winner
Cont’d pg.36
SAND LIFE
page 36
Anthony Wayne
Hot Hazy & Humid
6:30-10:30pm, La Ola
Greg Watts
Small Town
2-5pm, Outrigger
Dave Collaton
Tom ‘BAT’ Bennett
2-6pm, Sunset Beach Tropical
Grill
Harry Boyle Show
Mary Winner
Toucan Do
Free Spirit
Frank Torino
7-10pm, Parrot Key
Lee Hagen
Pain in the Grass
7-10pm, Cracker Box
Toucan Do
The Manipulators
8pm-12am, Castaways
Michael DiAmore
7-10pm, Parrot Key
Charlie Moon
9pm-1am, Cottage
Wendell Ray
8pm-11pm, Castaways
Cherry Bombs
Troublemakerz
9pm-1am, Cottage
Sunday,
February 28
BINGO
Noon-3pm. American Legion,
899 Buttonwood Dr
Fords
Soapy Tuna
Monday,
February 29
SPIN 61
BAY OAKS ATHLETICS,
See Feb 1
WATER AEROBICS
WE & FR. 239-463-5759
BEACH YOGA
Street). See Feb 1
ABS 61
PILATES
See Feb 1
BAY OAKS SOCIAL
SENIORS (BOSS)
SENIOR 61 CLASS
TIDES AND CURRENTS
February 2016
YOGA 6pm, DiamondHead Resort.
Iyengar style yoga with Susan
Carter. All levels welcome. $12.
209-1698
PARENTS NIGHT OUT
7-11pm, Bay Oaks. Enjoy a
movie or that new restaurant
while the kids are supervised in
a fun and exciting environment.
$10 member/$12 non member.
239-765-4222.
Double DJs, 1-5pm & 6pm-2am,
Lani Kai Beach Bars
Community Room A. Kristie
Anders, Education Director with
Sanibel Captiva Conservation
Foundation, will talk about how
water behaves as the earth
spins, the moon orbits and the
winds blow. 239-765-8162
DRAWING
Sam DeArmond
Community Room B. Join
pencil, eraser and paper. 239765-8162
TRUSTING YOUR GUT
FEELINGS 1:30pm, Beach
Join Lenka Spiska, LMT, Medical
Intuologist, as she shares
her own experiences of using
intuition in collaboration with
a medical doctor to empower
healing. Learn how you can too.
239-765-8162
WRITING CLASS
Walker, 6:30-10:30, La Ola
Pete Beard
Geo
Sideshow Bob
Open Mic Jam Nite
6-9pm, Bonita Bills
Bob Bero
6:30-9:30, Dixie Fish House
Jam Session
6-9pm, Cracker Box
Scotty Bryan
Community Room B. Facilitated
by Corinne Thwing. Discussion
open to all (beginners as well
as experienced) to enjoy the
process of writing and exercises
for all genres and levels. 239765-8162
Will Kiser
Lounge. 466-7788
Simple Jack
Ira Wilkes
8pm-12am, Castaways
3 Crooked Steps
9pm-1am, Cottage
February 2016
SAND LIFE
page 37
page 38
After she woke up, a woman told her
husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a
pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do
you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight,” he said.
That evening, the man came
home with a package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it - to find a book
entitled, “The meaning of dreams”
There was three people approaching
the gates of heaven But there was only one
place left.The gate keeper asked the first man
what happened to him because the one with
the worst death would go inn.the first man
said:
“Well imagine that I expected my
wife was having an affair, so I got home early
to surprise her. I found her in the bathroom
with a towel round her so I knew she wasn’t
having a shower so I search the apartment
and found 10 fingers hanging from the window
sill. So I started bashing away at them. When
he fell god must have loved him, because he
lived. So I threw a refrigerator at him. After all
the excitement I died of a heart attack.”
That’s horrific said the gate keeper,
he asked the second man how he died and he
said.
“Well imagine this I was riding
one of those stationary bike on the top of
our apartment building but it went wrong I
feel down and grabbed some ones window
sill. Then some idiot started bashing ar my
fingers then I fell but god must have loved me
SAND LIFE
February 2016
because i lived then -SHANNOOOWWWW- a
refrigerator plunged down at me”
That is to horrific. he asked the third
man how he died and he said.
“Well imagine that I was naked in a
refrigerator.......”
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard
that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t
know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That
happens in most countries, son.
A man and his wife were traveling
down the highway when they saw the lights
of a patrol car behind them. When they pulled
over, the patrol man came up to the window
and said,
“I am going to give you two tickets.
One because you were speeding and one
because you didn’t have your seat belt
fastened.” The man said, “I did too have my
seat belt fastened. I just loosened it when you
came up to the car. The Patrol Man said to the
man\’s wife, “I know he didn’t have his seatbelt
fastened. Isn’t that right, lady?” She replied,
“Well, officer. I learned a long time ago not to
argue with my husband when he’s drunk.”
A man was crossing a road one day
when a frog called out to him and said, “If you
kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
He bent over, picked up the frog,
and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If
you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful
princess, I will tell everyone how smart and
brave you are and how you are my hero” The
man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at
it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If
you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful
princess, I will be your loving companion for
an entire week.” The man took the frog out of
his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his
pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss
me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay
with you for a year and do ANYTHING you
want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled
at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the
matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess,
that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything
you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The man said, “Look, I’m a computer
programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend,
but a talking frog is cool.”
There was once a young man who,
in his youth, professed his desire to become
a great writer. When asked to define “Great”
he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole
world will read, stuff that people will react to
on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make
them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”
He now works for Microsoft, writing
error messages.
Puzzle answers
February 2016
SAND LIFE
#10 ON MAP ON PG. 22
page 39

Feb. 2016 - Island Sand Paper

Transcription

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