Babies: Real life advice for new moms

M6TORONTO STAR SATURDAY, JANUARY 12, 2013
ON ON1
Presented by
Lily Elizabeth Grepe
Liam Hopwood-Jones
April 22, 2012
Daughter of Amanda & Rob
Poppy Karger
Olivia Adele Johnson
March 5, 2012
Daughter of Tomas & Vanessa
October 5, 2012
Daughter of Dan & Catherine
Kaiden Neel Vadgama La Framboise
Kaeto Ka-Chun Lam
Brooke Lariviere
July 28, 2012
Son of Geeta & Gerry
March 25, 2012
Son of Dennis & Veronica
November 8, 2012
Daughter of Steven & Rowena
Gavin MacLeod
Atticus Kiran Marshall
Bianca Rose Martino
February 26, 2012
Son of Amanda & Jon
Colton Mark Philpott
June 12, 2012
Son of Paul & Melissa
March 20, 2012
Son of Natasha & Michael
June 17, 2012
Daughter of Lauren & James
Keira Isobel Raino
Tyler James Rego
July 5, 2012
Daughter of Kyle & Janine
Ingrid Schabert
December 8, 2012
Daughter of Brenda & Johnny
Myles Jake Isen
September 1, 2012
Son of Heather & Jason
August 12, 2012
Son of Horacio & Shirley
March 21, 2012
Son of Pamela & David
Imran Kassam
Logan James Edward Keir
April 8, 2012
Son of Alnoor & Rishma
September 20, 2012
Son of Max Keir & Gemma Brown
Norah Liberty
Melody Margaret Lui
November 22, 2012
Daughter of Emily & Brian
May 29, 2012
Daughter of Brian & Monica
Jonah Daniel Pacheco
July 19, 2012
Son of Julie & Danny
Grant Walter Rendulich
March 4, 2012
Son of Jillian & Peter
Ella Shea
Zoi Anastasia Tzotzis
June 7, 2012
Daughter of Ryan & Amanda
Madison Vaccaro
November 18, 2012
Daughter of Melissa & Dan
Benjamin Alexander Wassermuhl
August 8, 2012
Daughter of Vincenzo & Kristin
January 4, 2012
Son of Kevin & Amanda
Thomas John Philip Watson
June 22, 2011
Son of Monica, brother to Rosie
Go clubbing with new moms
Clubmom.ca offers real
life advice and useful
discounts to members
SUZANNE WINTROB
SPECIAL TO THE STAR
Tal Srulovicz wishes she’d listened
to her husband when he told her it
wouldn’t be a good idea to bring
their new twins into bed.
Five years later, Srulovicz, of
North Toronto, still has at least one
of her three children in their bed
every night.
“He was right,” she admits. “We
should have started that (discipline) earlier.”
Today, such experiences are
shared on Srulovicz’s website,
Clubmom.ca, a resource and savings portal for mothers in the GTA,
launched after the birth of her third
child. At the time, she was working
long hours as a lawyer but craved
the freedom to take her children
from school to activities. With a
background in fundraising and
community building, reaching out
to other mothers through an online
site seemed natural.
Practically every gal with a fresh
baby bump has the tome What to
Expect When You’re Expecting on
her nightstand, hoping it will ease
her through pregnancy and delivery. Yet no matter how much she
tries to prepare for having that newborn in her arms, some of the best
STEPHANIE LAKE FOR THE TORONTO STAR
Alona Ifraimov-Young, husband Chaim Young and their three children
Hadassa, 4, Joey, 2, and Jonathan, 9 months. Alona was married at 20
and pregnant five months later. Chaim was 21.
advice comes from those already on
the job.
Clubmom talks up such topics as
beauty, education, food, money and
sex, and offers a “mommy planner”
of event listings. A $30 discount
card lets members save money at
150 GTA vendors, or it can be sold by
schools and charities to raise money. But its real appeal is the dialogue
it allows moms of every age.
“I’m a mom and I relate to moms,
so it made sense to build a community of mothers where they can
connect with each other through
blogs and workshops,” Srulovicz,
36, says.
Alona Ifraimov-Young was married at 20 and pregnant five months
later. Though many people thought
she and her husband, 21, wouldn’t
have a clue how to be parents, the
two worked hard to prove everyone
wrong.
“We would talk about what we
agree on and what we don’t agree
on,” she recalls. “It helped us decide
what kind of home we wanted to
build for our kids.”
Today, the North York couple is
busy chasing after three wee ones:
Hadassa, four; Joey, two; and Jonathan, nine months. IfraimovYoung, on leave from her office job,
is hands on and disciplined when it
comes to childrearing. She’s adamant that grandparents and occasional babysitters stick to her house
rules, especially when it comes to
bedtime routines. She recalls her
mother once phoning in distress,
asking if she could go into the room
because Hadassa was crying and
wouldn’t go to sleep.
“My mom was sitting outside the
door, crying too,” she chuckles. “But
it was important that she kept on
the same page. Hadassa learned to
go to bed on her own even though
grandma was there. It was a change
in routine, but rules are rules.”
Tammi Schwartz, 43, concurs.
Three years ago the transplanted
American married, moved to Toronto, and became a stepmom to
two school-aged boys. When she
got pregnant four months later, she
read up on labour and breastfeeding and hired a doula (labour
coach).
One of the best books Schwartz
found was Healthy Sleep Habits,
Happy Child, which taught her that
bedtime can’t be done while mom is
doing errands or delayed until dad
comes home from work. By being
strict about it, she got baby Rina to
sleep through the night at 12 weeks.
Srulovicz recalls being inundated
with parenting advice when her babies were born but has learned by
trial and error what works best for
her family. Her twins slept better if
she swaddled them together, she
says, and she welcomed her mother
or sister sleeping over in the early
days to help her feed and let her
rest. And she doesn’t mind working
until after midnight so she can
spend quality time with her children during the day.
“Enjoy this time when you’re the
centre of their universe because,
before you know it, it’s all going to
change,” she says.
It’s rewarding to be a mom but it
isn’t easy. Here are some tips from
real life moms to take the edge off:
á Beware the product hype: Infants
require diapers, wipes, a bed and
formula (if you’re not nursing), says
Srulovicz, so don’t get caught up in
having it all from day one.
á Keep in touch with the office:
Ifraimov-Young didn’t check in
while on her first maternity leave
and found it hard to reconnect
when she returned. This time she
calls her boss every few months for
updates and attends functions to
get ready for her return.
á Get connected: Network with
other moms online, at playgroups
or at Mom and Baby fitness classes.
Sometimes it’s more comforting
than talking to a family member.
á Take a break: Never underestimate a good “time out” for baby or
yourself. “Sometimes you don’t
know what you need to do to make
baby feel better. Put the baby down
and give yourself a break, because it
won’t help if you’re both frustrated,” says Ifraimov-Young.