The Hashtown Tribune - San Diego Hash House Harriers

The Hashtown Tribune - San Diego Hash House Harriers

The Hashtown Tribune
A unified review of the many Hashing events in and around San Diego
Volume 1, Edition 3
February 22, 2013
The Love Month
By Anal Rose
It’s February, and that’s when it’s time to
confess your love to your favorite Hasher or
Harriette. There are lots of ways to do this,
with my personal favorite
being to spell out her
Hash name in bottles of
craft beer. Or are you one
of the many members of
the Lonely Hearts Club
who avoid the whole
Cupid thing all together
and opt to celebrate
Lincoln’s
birthday
instead? By that I mean
you go see a movie, by
yourself. Hey, Abe loved
the theater, you know.
And
this
year’s
Valentine’s Day premier
wasn’t anything starring
Kate Hudson, Meg Ryan
or Reese Witherspoon.
This year, Bruce Willis is
back as John McClain in
“A Good Day to Die Hard”, and I can tell you
first hand (spoiler alert!) there is no love at
all in this movie (except the grizzled and
tough love of father and son, of course).
No matter how you spend it, there’s simply
no denying that February is The Love
Month. So what better time that to recap
our most recent multitude of Hash couples
united in love?
This past summer wasn’t just hot; it was
steamy. There was not one, not TWO, but
SIX Hasher weddings in Southern California.
Kicking off the summer was Mommy’s Dirty
Dildo and Gotta Go #3, who had a beautiful,
yet rushed, backyard June wedding in
GG#3’s hometown of Peoria, Illinois (please,
the “s” is silent…). They celebrated their
new marriage by sending MDD off to
Afghanistan for a year deployment, while
GG#3 waits for him in Peoria. We eagerly
await both their return this summer!
Just two weeks later, Put a Dick in It
(aka PADII) and Weenie
Schnitzel were also wed. It
took two more weeks for
friends and family to
recover, which was just in
time for Do It Myself and
Spongebob Squaredick to
get hitched.
They are
expecting a baby very, very
soon! It was only a week
later that Witchfucker and
Cuntil Floss threw an
enormous wedding that
was reportedly the event of
the season. Only a few days
later, Drug ‘em n’ Plug ‘em
and Anal Rose had a
considerably less eventful
and very private wedding
at Balboa Park, with only a
few Hashers in attendance.
Like MDD, Drug ‘em also immediately
departed for Afghanistan. Fittingly, Nag
Reflex and Pump n’ Slump celebrated their
wedding with the “Not Another Hash
Wedding” trail at the San Diego Hash.
As if San Diego Hashers hadn’t had enough
of this crazy little thing called love,
California Larrikin GM, Midgets Make My
Dick Look Bigger managed to swap nuptials
with Larrikin RA, Me So Carney this past
fall. Love apparently swayed Midgets from
worrying about the size of his genitals, as
Carney, while petite, is not a member of the
Little Person Society. Last but certainly not
least, Jam Me Ram Me and Cock and Load,
who hail proudly from the North County
Hash, were wed just this past month. Well
done, all!
Now about that Honey-Do
list….
San Diego Hash’s Year of Themes
By Fluff Boy
Fluff Boy proudly hoists the Hash Olympics Torch On Sunday February 17 the San Diego
Hash held the Annual General Meeting
(AGM) at which a new Mismanagement is
selected to take the reins of managing and
continuing the Hashing traditions of the
SDH3 founders. At the event, outgoing
Mismanagement acknowledged a number of
the hares for their contribution to the Hash.
This got me thinking of all the fun SDH3
theme runs held this past year. I have
noticed the normal r*cing community has
caught on how much fun theme runs can be;
new themed runs are popping up each year,
yet you still cannot beat the Hash in price or
theme originality.
The first Hash theme run I recall running
was a HAWAIIAN T-SHIRT run held
sometime back in 1998, this was closely
followed by the annual BATHROBE run,
Cockeye’s NORWEGIAN Run and then
ending the year with the SAGITTARIAN run.
It took me a few years of running with the
Hash before I was brave enough to wear a
red Dress and run in the Annual RED DRESS
RUN. After I finally did, it did not take much
effort for me to participate in the LEATHER
& LACE run. Now after more then a few
years of Hashing I have a bin full of odd
costumes and clothing which I have worn
while running Hash trails through the
neighborhoods of San Diego.
In addition to the afore mentioned annual
runs, SDH3 has also had an OVER THE HILL
GANG run, hosted by everyone who turned
fifty that year. I loved the twist TJ Donkey
Fluffer added this year by making it a
ZOMBIE RUN. It was so much fun I hope it
becomes an annual event. New this year was
the 60 YEAR OLD BIRTHDAY BASH hosted
by Dogfish and other kids over 60.
Last year we had a plethora of new themed
runs that were a lot of fun. I thought I was
pretty brilliant with my contribution to
themed runs last year with the MAY THE
FOURTH BE WITH YOU run, a Star Wars
themed run on May the 4th. With the help of
Micro, Ginger and Pith Me we hosted the
HASH OLYMPICS & the last theme run I was
involved with was the SAN DIEGUITO TEE
SHIRT HASH at which everyone was given a
San Dieguito Tee Shirt just for coming out in
the down pouring rain! Halloween is always
a good time for themed runs. A new twist on
the Halloween theme was introduced by
May I Please Juggles Your Balls: the
GHOST RUN at which everyone was to dress
in white. This was followed by Bimbo’s
HALLOWEN MASK A RAID HASH. We had
three Marriage themed runs in 2012, First
was Weenie Schnitzel & PADii's HASH
WEDDING, Second came Cunt Fucker HASH
WEDDING and then Thirdly NOT ANOTHER
HASH WEDDING Run Hared by Pump 'n
Slump and Nag Reflex. Other theme runs
that I recall from last year were the 4:20 by
Flabio & Stud Finder (the smoky details of
that run remain a blur), a ROCKY HORROR
run by Downward Dick, 1st OFFICIAL
LAMPSHADE HASH hared by Serial Box,
PRIDE’S A REAL DRAG hared by who other
then Taste the Rainblow, the wet Christmas
JINGLE BELL RUN and lastly ending the
Mayan calendar with THE END (of THE
WORLD run!) Important Shit!
By Anal Rose
North County Hare raiser High
Twattage does a great job of recording Hash
hijinks and is the creator of the super-sexy
North County Hash Trash, The Half-Mind
Rewind. Check it out; it is a serious work of
art! She also continuously passes me
Important Shit. Thanks to her, I can tell you
that Jam Me, Ram Me and Cock and Load got
married (pictured)! North County H3 also
reports that Heaven’s Gate ran 250 times,
Mystery Dick made his 150th run, Hooting
Beaver 69 runs (quite a favorite milestone,
HB!), Homo on the Range, Fruit of the
Loomis, High Twattage, and even Shit Mate
(pre-schooling son of Turd Burd and Redwood
Floors) ran 25 times. BTW, Shit Mate is
officially the only Hasher who can keep pace
with Turd Burd (and is usually slightly ahead)
on trail. And he’s already got more North
County trails than me.
SDH3 celebrated
several numbers: La Bufadora ran more than
1100 times. Yes, you read that correctly! No
slouch, Rub My Buns pocketed 400 runs, Mas
Penis, Por Favor secured 200 runs, and
Burning Hose and Flip Flop On Top both
reach 25 runs. Humpin’ numbers this month,
complete with headbands: Gaelic received his
350th and 369th headbands (as he seldom
stays for Down Downs), Somebody Ate My
Meat got 125 runs, Circle Jerkinator reached
25 runs. Well done!
We had several Namings as well. Give a
great big welcome to I Took Care of the Dick
Checks (J. Beth), Brossiere (J. Joseph), and
his doppleganging brother, Cock Loving
Hasher, the Third (CLH3), (J. Sal), who was
ceremoniously renamed at Humpin’ from the
clever California Larrikin moniker, Humpin’
Can Suck My Balls. Oh, those zany Larrikins!
The Half-Assed Hash named J. Debra, Fresh
n’ Sleazy after an impromptu and last minute
haring (as is their tradition).
Returning from far, far away and long,
long ago, we have ex-Humpin’ H3 GM,
Kravin’ Kimchi Koochie returning from
deployment, Flipper Over, and making her
yearly appearance, Interloper. Also, welcome
new transplant, Mile Lie Club (from Every
Day is Wednesday Hash, Washington D.C.),
and Fuckme Boobster (from Motown Ann
Arbor Hash, MoA2H3, Michigan).
Goat
Juice is both a returning Hasher and a
transplant, as he last Hashed in Japan years
ago, but finally decided to break his hiatus (or
fall off the wagon, most likely) by going to this
month’s Half-Assed Hash.
Visiting Hashers a plenty! Whips &
Runs (Survivor H3, Pensacola), Knitta
Please (Rain City Hash, Seattle), Heavy
Load and Vaso Dialation (VD) (from
MoA2H3, Michigan) and Bullshit Whistle
Tits (Truckee Ice Trekkers, Lake Tahoe)
Where would we be without fresh
meat…er…First Timers and Virgins? J. BJ O.
came to us via What’s My Name, Bitch, J.
Heidi J., J. Elly S., brought by Have We Had
Sex?, J. Victoria R. is a Marine who cooks in
the morning and kills in the afternoon, V.
Stacy F. (who mistakenly listened to an
encouraging email from Anal Rose), Sarah R.,
another ACE co-worker of Somebody Ate My
Meat. How many would-be Hashers work
there, anyway?? Whack Job brought brother
J. Joe B., his wife J. Kathy B. and friend J.
Monique M. Yes, 3 Virgins! Also, Matt L.
from Ambiguously Gay Uno, Ryan G., Lori G.
and Matt D. from Cherry Pooping Daddy, and
Eric C. from Goat Juice.
Last but not least, celebrate Summer Coitus
by wishing the following wankers Hashy
Birthday because they won’t stop getting
older. Spongebob Square Dick, Snatchatory
Rape, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Pissed on Me, his mom, Serial Box, and
Cheap Piece of Ass managed to get left off the
January edition, so here’s their shout-out. For
February birthdays, we have Irish Cream,
Circle Jerkinator, Humpin’ GM Haley’s
Cockit, All Hands on Dick, Mas Penis Por
Favor, Midgets Make My Dick Look Bigger,
Ass to Mouse, Lepricunt, Knothole, Snuff
the Magic Blumpkin, Stunt Cunt,
Chokin’ in the Boy’s Room, SDH3 ex GM
Bimbo by Day and Tassel Whacker, all
celebrating their 21st birthdays! Except for
Tassel Whacker. That boy’s OLD!
(Don’t let me miss your Hasher’s Important
Shit! Pass this kind of stuff to Anal Rose at
[email protected])
This edition of Hashtown Tribune generously brought to you by:
Looking for a little change? call Micro (714) 553-9975
CONGRATULATIONS TO SDH3’s NEWEST MISMANAGEMENT, to include TheSoreAss and Throws Up, Stays Up as your NEW GM’s!! It’s gonna be another great SD Hashing year! Ass Injection, twin brother to Frozen Kimchi and
the pride and joy of Humpin’ ex-GM Kravin’
Kimchi Koochie and Shut the Fuck Up Asshole
(STFUA), sports appropriate Hash Behavior.
(Picture and slogan by Pub Hash GM, Fat Basque
Turd) Think you got a picture cuter than THIS?? I
doubt it, but if you do, send it to Anal Rose and he’ll
make ya famous!