real estate guide - lots of great jokes- humor

Transcription

The Parrot
EVERYONE’S FAVORITE NEWSPAPER
AUGUST 2007
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Cara Does Galveston
inside: real estate guide - lots of great jokes- humor - crossword puzzle
Page 2 - The PARROT
The PARROT - Page 3
GRAFT IN DEMOLITION TEARING DOWN
CIVIC TRUSTS
by Mario Whatsuppi, Look Out Below
Correspondent
Unions in Chicago are under
censure for neglecting their civic
duty in downtown areas. Demolition
teams tasked with the razing of
dilapidated infrastructure are charged
with incompetently building instead of
destroying.
In one instance, the local
409 was slated to demolish fourteen
clapboard houses, but accidentally
made six tables, a Victorian style hutch
and a nice Cape Cod summer home.
“This building has got to stop,”
said Otto Schneigle, brother of that
guy, you know, the one who can get
that thing. “We only have three months
to do the job, and it’s hard enough to
keep track of those we pay to observe
shoveling, but now we have to deal
with all this incompetent building too.”
In particular, the oversight
committee has singled out Jake
Armistice, a rebel contractor who
turned a mound of scrap metal into a
wrought iron spiral staircase.
“It just goes against the whole
spirit of demolition. It’s almost unethical,”
said Jack Scarboro, mobster.
The demolition’s completion
was rescheduled for Winter. The town
council is busy trying to remove all
the laughing kids from enjoying the
playground incompetently built in lieu
of a ditch being dug.
Brains
and $200 for a female brain.” The
moment turned awkward. Men in the
room tried not to smile; avoiding eye
contact with the women, b but some
actually smirked. A man unable to
control his curiosity, blurted out the
question everyone wanted to ask,
“Why is the male brain so much
more?” The doctor smiled at the
childish innocence and explained to
the entire group, “It’s just standard
pricing procedure. We have to mark
down the price of the female brains,
because they’ve actually been used.”
Relatives gathered in the waiting
room, in the hospital where the family
member lay gravely ill. Finally, the
doctor came in looking tired and
somber. “I’m afraid I’m the bearer of
bad news,” he said as he surveyed
the worried faces. “ The only hope
left for you loved one at this time is a
brain transplant. It’s an experimental
procedure, very risky but it is the
only hope. Insurance will cover the
procedure, but you will have to pay
for the brain yourselves.” The family
members sat silent as they absorbed
the news. After a great length of time,
someone asked, “well, how much
does a brain cost?” The doctor quickly
responded, “$5,000 for a male bran,
Page 4 - The PARROT
If after demolition, the project site
looks like the photo above, graft
may be to blame.
(photo courtesy of Patriot Act
surveillance)
Once upon a time there was a
female brain cell who by mistake
Cont. “Brain” Page 6
The PARROT
HATCHED IN FEBRUARY 2002
AUGUST 2007
TREY CLICK
Publisher/Editor
Cover Story Page 15
MICHAEL BOWERY
Art Director
LIVE MUSIC EVERY NIGHT!
DISTRIBUTION
Houston & Boliver Peninsula: Lulla Black
Galveston Island: John Anderson
Dallas: SKS Distributing Company
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Lyssa Graham, Ron Limbock, Ara 13, Sher Bailey, John Bostock, Marsha Mellow,
Richard Booth, Donna Nevelow, M.J. Naschke, Mikel Reaper, Jeanne Rachel, Marsha Wilson Rappaport, Garrison Keillor, Dave Barry
COVER: Photo by Andy Abercrombie
Every Sun. at 8pm is the Longest Running
Open Jam on the Island,
w/ Gary Lee & the Sneak Preview.
Every Mon. at 8pm is Billy Bourbon.
Every Tue. at 8pm is TP & Gary Lee.
Every Wed. at 8pm is Billy Bourbon.
Every Thu. at 7pm is Piano Carl.
Every Thu. at 9pm is Gary Lee & Sneak Preview.
August Band Schedule
INSIDE...
COLUMNISTS
Shannon Braden: Here’s the Deal………………....................................................……8
Lyssa Graham: Hall has nothing on Texas in August..........................................…10
Ara 13: NOT B.O.I.............……………………......…......................................................11
Ben Raimer: Galveston Chamber of Commerce....................................................12
MJ Nashke: Park Board Update……….....................................................................13
Richard Booth: The “Feel” of Fireworks and the Freedom of Birds.................…..17
Garrison Keillor: How the Norse Stay on Course...................................................18
Dave Barry: Serpents’ Rights......................…..……................................................21
Sher Bailey: The Bubbles Tickle My Nose.......................................................……40
Dwayne Jones: Galveston Historical Foundation…................................................42
Ron Limbock: Lone Star Rally Update..........………...........................................……46
Marsha Mellow: Betrayal and the Naked Strangler.........................................……47
John Bostock: How Odd................................…..……...............................................53
JT Proctor: Picturesque Homes in Galveston........................................................58
Fri. 03 at 9pm is Bill & his Rubber Band
Sat. 04 at 9pm is Bourbon Street
Fri. 10 is Skyy Blue Girls Nite Out! All Girls invited - Skyy drink specials
A chance to win a REAL Diamond.
At 7pm is Adalines And at 9:30pm is Counsel
Sat. 11 at 9pm is Matt Leddy & the MeatCutters
Fri. 17 at 9pm is the Inimitable LaLa Wilson Band
Sat. 18 at 9pm is Cloud Nine Jim
Fri. 24 at 9pm is Tom’z Katz
Sat. 25 at 9pm is the Fabulous Tony Hill Band
Fri. 31 at 9pm is Mary Smith & Major Tones
FEATURES
Dining by Marsha Rappaport:.......................………..............................................……23
The Art Scene by D. Nevelow…..........................................................…................24-25
Wine Conversation by Jeanne Rachal:......………..................................................……26
MONTHLY
Incoming: Letters to the Editor…………………….........….........................................…6
Live Music on Galveston Island …………………….........…...........................................…7
Bar & Restaurant Listing …………………….........…..................................................…18
Parrot Crossword & Psycho Sudoku Puzzles……………………................................……32
DETAILS
Freelance Submissions: We welcome freelance writers, illustrators and cartoonists to submit material, but please include sufficient return
postage if you want your material returned to you.
Distribution: Business owners who would like to be added to our distribution list may call (409)765-5715. Our distribution has expanded
to the entire Island and select businesses in Kemah, other Bay area communities, Bolivar Peninsula and in Midtown Houston. We replenish
supplies several times throughout each month for total market saturation.
Advertising: Classified ads must be mailed to us at the address shown below or dropped by our office by appointment. A form is located in
the Classified section of this issue. Additional forms are available at our office. For a complete display advertising Media Kit, please call our
office or write to us at the address below.
Subscriptions: Although The Parrot is a free publication, many visitors and displaced Islanders want to keep abreast of current happenings
on the Island. To get each copy mailed to you, the cost is a mere $45 per year for 12 issues. Use the form found elsewhere in this issue if you
want to drop it by our office, or send your payment along with your name and mailing address to The Parrot, 2509 Market Street, Galveston
Island 77550.
©Copyright 2007 by Galveston Parrot. All rights reserved. Reprint rights must be granted by the publisher. Write us or request reprint permission by email. The Parrot is published monthly and distributed free to our many thousands of loyal readers.
AUGUST ADVERTISING DEADLINE: FRIDAY, SEPT 21 - 5:00PM
DISPLAY ADVERTISING: 409.789.9820
[email protected]
EDITORIAL: 409.765.5715
[email protected]
409.789.9820 2007 Strand St. Galveston
Open 11am ‘til 2am
(somewhere near Texas)
The PARROT - Page 5
INCOMING
We welcome letters and emails from our readers. Please include your name and a contact phone number in case we need further comment. Send
to The Parrot, 2509 Market Street, Galveston Island 77550, or via email to [email protected]. Letters are published on a space-available
basis and may be edited prior to publication.
“Brain” Cont.
happened to end up in a man’s head.
She looked around nervously but it
was all empty and quiet.
“Hello?” she cried, but there was no
answer.
“Is there anyone here?” she cried
a little louder, but there was still no
answer. Now the female brain cell
started to feel alone and scared and
yelled at the top of her voice
“HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE
HERE?”
Then she heard a very faint voice
from far, far away: “We’re down
here…”
The Bible and a Haircut...
A young boy had just gotten his
driver’s permit and inquired of his
father, if they could discuss his use
of the car.  His father said he’d make
a deal with his son. “You bring your
grades up from a C to a B average,
study your Bible a little, get your hair
cut and we’ll
talk about the car.”
The boy thought about that for a
moment, decided  he’d settle for the
offer and they agreed on it.  After
about six weeks  his father said, “Son,
I’ve been real proud.  You brought
your grades up and  I’ve observed that
you have been studying your Bible,
but I’m real disappointed you haven’t
gotten your hair cut.”
The young man paused a  moment
then said, “You know, Dad, I’ve been
thinking about that, and I’ve  noticed
in my studies of the Bible that Samson
had long hair, John the  Baptist had
long hair, Moses had long hair and
there’s even a strong argument  that
Jesus had long hair.”
To this his father replied, “Did you
also notice they all walked everywhere
they went?”
The new supermarket, near our
house has an automatic water mister
to keep produce fresh. Just before
it goes on, you hear the sound of
thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
  When you approach the milk cases,
you hear cows mooing and witness
the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case,
you hear hens cluck and cackle and
the air is filled with the pleasing aroma
of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features
the sound of a gentle breeze and the
smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don’t buy toilet paper there any
more
Page 6 - The PARROT
A cardiologist died and was given
an elaborate funeral. A huge heart
covered in flowers stood behind the
casket during the service. Following
the eulogy, the heart opened, and
the casket rolled inside. The heart
than closed sealing the doctor in the
beautiful heart.
At that point one of the mourners
burst into laughter. When all eyes
were on him he said, “I’m sorry I was
thinking of my own funeral. I’m a
gynecologist.”
The proctologist fainted.
A crusty old man walks into a bank
and says to the teller at the window,
“I want to open a God damn checking
account!”
  The astonished woman replies,
“I beg your pardon, sir; I must have
misunderstood you. What did you
say?”
  “Listen up, damn it.” he replies.
“I said I want to open a God damn
checking account right now!”
  “I’m very sorry sir, but we do not
tolerate that kind of language in this
bank.” Angrily closing her window, the
teller rushes over to the bank manager
to tell him about her situation.
  They both return and the manager
asks the old geezer, “What seems to
be the problem here?”
  “There’s no freakin’ problem, you
shithead!”
the man spews, “I just won $50 million
bucks in the damn lottery and I want to
open a God damn checking account in
this God damn bank!”
  “I see,” says the manager, “. . . and
this bitch is giving you a hard time?”
An elderly gentleman went to the
local drug store and
asked the Pharmacist for the little blue 
“Viagra” pill.
    The pharmacist asked “How
many?” The man replied,
“Just a few, maybe a half dozen. I cut
each 
one into four pieces.”
    The pharmacist said, “That’s too
small a dose. 
PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST!
“I’ll bet my nuts he’s
bluffing.”
“_____________________”
WRITE A GREAT CAPTION - WIN A GREAT PRIZE!
Last month’s caption was submitted by Marty Yates of Galveston, Texas. OK,
here’s another photo that was submitted to us. The staff couldn’t agree on a
caption for this photo. Send us your idea for a funny caption and we’ll print
the winner, along with the winner’s name, in our next issue. Oh, and we’ll
award the winner an annual subscrption to The Parrot. That’s a $45 value!
Send your entry to: The Parrot, 2509 Market Street, Galveston TX 77550, or
to [email protected]
That  won’t get you through sex.”
    The old fellow said, “Oh, I’m past
eighty years  old
and I don’t even think about sex much
anymore. I just
want it to stick out far enough so I
don’t pee 
on my new golf shoes....”
Medical Examinations
 
1. A man comes into the ER and yells,
“My wife’s going to have her baby in
the cab!” I grabbed my stuff, rushed
out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress,
and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were
several cabs -and I was in the wrong
one.
 
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald,
San Antonio, TX.
 
2. At the beginning o f my shift I
placed a stethoscope on an elderly
and slightly deaf female patient’s
anterior chest wall.
 
“Big breaths,” I instructed. “Yes, they
used to be,” replied the patient.
 
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,
Seattle, WA
 
3. One day I had to be the bearer
of bad news when I told a wife that
her husband had died of a massive
myocardial infarct. Not more than five
minutes later, I heard her reporting to
the rest of the family that he had died
of a “massive internal fart.”
 
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg,
Manitoba, Canada
 
4. During a patient’s two week followup appointment with his cardiologist,
he informed me, his doctor, that he
was having trouble with one of his
medications. “Which one?” I asked.
“The patch.
 
Cont. “Crusty” Page 34
AUGUST
Wednesday 01 August
PIANO BAR Cocktails 5-8 pm
BACK TO BASICS Club 21 6-9 pm
ANGELO TOLENTINO The Bar @
The San Luis Resort 7-11 pm
CLINT & SHERRY FAULK
& the VAPORS  Sharky’s Beach Club, Port
Bolivar 7:00 pm-12:00 am
OPEN MIC Gravity Bar 8:00 pm-12:00 am
THE BILLY BOURBON BAND Poor Michael’s
8:00 pm-12:00 am
OPEN MIC with NEIL DOWN
 Old Quarter Acoustic Cafe 9:00 pm- 1:00 am
Thursday 02 August
GUPPIES FROM OUTER SPACE Fish Tales
6-9 pm
PIANO by CARL Poor Michael’s 7-9 pm
The San Luis Resort 7-11pm
GARY LEE & SNEAK PREVIEW Poor Michael’s
8:00 pm-12:00 am
98 IN THE SHADE Ju-Ju Hangout 8:00 pm12:00 am
NATURAL GROOVE B. Jiggers 9:00 pm-1:00
am
OPEN MIC with GENE POOL
 Old Quarter Acoustic Cafe 9:00 pm-1:00 am
OPEN MIC JAM with
SCRUZ LOOSE Rosie’s Offshore Lounge 9:00
pm-1:00 am
THE LINE UP Club 21 9:30 pm-1:30 am
Friday 03 August
TBA  Toujouse Bar @
The Tremont 5-7 pm
TBA Captain Jack’s Beach Bar 5-9 pm
JOE SEWELL Hotel Galvez 5-10 pm
DAVID & SARAH AMES Clary’s 6-10 pm
The San Luis Resort 7:00 pm-12:00 am
EVERLIFE Moody Gardens 8:00-9:30 pm
SPARKY’S JAZZ EXPRESS Cafe Madrid 8:00
pm-12:00 am
SCRUZ LOOSE
 Rosie’s Offshore Lounge 9:00 pm-1:00 am
TBA Old Quarter Acoustic Cafe 9:00 pm-1:00
am
TBA Poor Michael’s 9:00 pm-1:00 am
DOUBLE OUGHT  Club 21 9:30 pm-1:30 am
THE LINE UP B. Jigger’s 9:30 pm-1:30 am
FIDELITY MAXX Wild Wing Cafe 10:00 pm-2:00
am
TBA Yaga’s 10:30 pm-1:30 am
Saturday 04 August
THE LINE UP East Beach 2-6 pm
TBA Nash’s Bait Camp 3-7 pm
TIM TURNER BAND Woody’s Bar 3-7 pm
OBSOLETE AUGUST Captain Jack’s Beach
Bar 5-9 pm
J.D. RICHARDS Novo’s West End Grill 6-11 pm
MP2 Chico’s Paradise Roof Top Bar 7-11 pm
The San Luis Resort
 7:00 pm-12:00 am 
DOUBLE OUGHT BayView Marina 7:30-11:30
pm
GALVESTON ISLAND JAZZ TRIO Cafe Madrid
8:00 pm-12:00 am
TIM TURNER BAND Ju-Ju Hangout 8:30 pm12:30 am
BOOMTOWN Ship’s Wheel, Port Bolivar 9:00
pm-1:00 am
SCRUZ LOOSE  Rosie’s Offshore Lounge 9:00
pm-1:00 am
SISTERS MORALES Old Quarter Acoustic Cafe
9:00 pm-1:00 am
BOURBON STREET Poor Michael’s 9:00 pm1:00 am
DOWN TO EARTH  Club 21 9:30 pm-1:30 am
THE LINE UP B. Jigger’s 9:30 pm-1:30 am
LEVEL ONE BAND Wild Wing Cafe 10:00 pm2:00 am
Sunday 05 August
TBA Toujouse Bar @ The Tremont 11:00 am2:00 pm
JOYCE FIELDS Hotel Galvez 11:00 am-3:00
pm
MARC TWYMAN
One Man Band Gravity Bar 2-7 pm
J.D. RICHARDS Captain Jack’s Beach Bar 3-7
pm
98 IN THE SHADE Ju-Ju Hangout 3-7 pm
MARK MAY & the AGITATORS The Spot 3-7 pm
TIM TURNER BAND Woody’s Bar 3-7 pm
TBA Float 4-8 pm
TWISTED SADDLE Tiki Beach Bar, Port Bolivar
6-10 pm
GARY LEE & SNEAK PREVIEW (Jam) Poor
Michael’s 8:00 pm-12:30 am
OPEN MIC JAM with
pm-1:00 am
Monday 06 August
8:00 pm-12:00 am
Tuesday 07 August
The San Luis Resort
 7-11 pm
GARY LEE & TOMMY PROCTOR Poor
Wednesday 08 August
Cont. “Live” Page 9
The PARROT - Page 7
SHANNON
BRADEN
Here’s the Deal
I love parades! ...New Year’s parades,
4th of July parades, Easter parades;
you name it! I will stand in the cold,
the heat, the rain, the bright sun, or the
dark of night to watch marching bands
and drill teams, horses and convertible
cars, and fancy floats go by.
Some parades are more memorable
than others. For instance, in 1995, the
Nimitz Museum in Fredericksburg commemorated the 50th anniversary of the
end of World War II with a parade honoring all veterans who had served our
country in that war. I stood beside my
mother, sisters, brothers-in-law, nieces, nephews, and sons, proudly saluting them all, especially my daddy – our
hero – who flew 30 missions in the Pacific Theater as a B29 navigator.
I’ll never forget the St. Patrick’s Day
Parade I went to in Montreal, where
Page 8 - The PARROT
the sun was shining brightly - and the
temperature was a balmy 4 degrees!
Or the parade through beautiful downtown Bell Buckle, Tennessee (an annual highlight of the RC Cola / Moon Pie
Festival), where my son and I drove our
vintage Volkswagen Beetles in tandem
with the Middle Tennessee Volkswagen
Association’s entire fleet of “bugs.”
I have seldom missed the parade
through residential Highland Park on
Independence Day. Apparently, anyone can participate, and everyone
throws candy! In fact, there’s so much
candy thrown by Boy Scouts, insurance agents, soccer teams, CPAs, car
dealers, Girl Scouts, swim teams, and
the like, that I always wonder why no
local dentist has thought to bring up the
rear, tossing toothbrushes with business cards attached!
I come from a family of parade
nuts. We’ve never been to the Macy’s
Thanksgiving Day Parade, but neither
have we missed watching it on TV before sitting down to our annual feast. We
have been to the parade that precedes
the Kentucky Derby, and the night parades at Disney World, the State Fair
of Texas and Mardi Gras! Galveston.
We’ve also been curiously entertained
by funeral processions in New Orleans,
where musicians play jazz dirges and
hymns and parade through the streets
in their final good-bye to the departed.
We especially love the Lawn Chair Drill
Team that used to highlight Dallas’ St.
Patrick’s Day parade. And. in Leadville,
Colorado, we’ve been to parades that
include (not only) turtle races but (also)
toilet seat races. Not a single bead is
thrown (and hardly any candy) but the
crowds do turn out and, at 10,430 feet
above sea level, who needs candy?
In the past year, I’ve been to a dozen
parades in Galveston and, as of this
writing, I’ve been in four of them! Just
last month, we gassed up the little red
golf cart and adorned it with strands
of red, white, and blue beads. We paraded though the historic district in line
with scores of others whose patriotic
spirit could not be dampened by the
fact that it was pouring down rain (for
the fifth day in a row)!
During Dickens on the Strand, we
dressed in period attire to get into the
true spirit of the event. While we were
watching the parade, I guess the “spirit”
moved us because we simply stepped
off the curb and followed the very convincing Ghost of Christmas Past along
the parade route. On St. Patty’s Day,
we joined a group of benevolent islanders (decked out in green, of course!)
who convened on the Strand in horse
drawn carriages and golf carts or on bicycles, scooters, and Harleys. We proceeded to the Ronald McDonald house,
where young patients and their families
were invited to board the carriages for
a ride down the Strand, where they
were treated to a special hot dog lunch
at Juju’s. Of course we drew crowds
of onlookers, so the kids threw green
beads and waved - and smiled a lot which did our old hearts good!
On Memorial Day Weekend, my son
came from Austin to drive my 1976 red
bug in the Hot Rod n’ Roll vintage auto
parade sponsored by KHITS 107.5.
We threw red VW stress balls and red
beads to people along the parade route
- all the way from Moody Gardens to
the Strand. And (dare I brag a bit?) that
little red Volkswagen Beetle WON the
car show!
Which is my favorite parade? Thanks
for asking!
No question about it… it was in February 2006 and it was the FIRST all-fire
truck parade ever in the Mardi Gras!
Cont. “The Deal” Next Page
“The Deal” Cont.
Galveston line-up. It was also the first
parade I’d ever been to where the
OCEAN was visible in the background!
In spite of cold temperatures and brisk
winds, the crowds lining the seawall
for this event were not disappointed.
There were 60 or so fire trucks and
they all came down the seawall with
their lights on and their sirens blaring!
Firefighters and EMTs threw beads to
the crowd from every size, shape, and
color of fire truck – including an old tiller
truck (the hook-and-ladder kind where
a driver rode on the back to steer the
ladder) and a modern tanker with “Got
Water!” painted on the side. It really
was the coolest parade ever!
So HERE’S THE DEAL: if you’re in
Galveston - and you’re not at a parade – just wait: one will be coming by
soon!
“Live” Cont.
8:00 pm-12:00 am
OPEN MIC with NEIL DOWN
 Old Quarter Acoustic Cafe 9:00 pm- 1:00 am
Thursday 09 August
6-9 pm
The San Luis Resort 7-11pm
8:00 pm-12:00 am
am
OPEN MIC with GENE POOL
 Old Quarter Acoustic Cafe 9:00 pm-1:00 am
OPEN MIC JAM with
pm-1:00 am
Friday 10 August
The Tremont 5-7 pm
ADALINES Poor Michael’s 7-9 pm
LED ZEPAGAIN Moody Gardens 8:00-9:30 pm
pm-12:00 am
TBA Ju-Ju Hangout 8:30 pm-12:30 am
SCRUZ LOOSE
 Rosie’s Offshore Lounge 9:00 pm-1:00 am
am
COUNSEL Poor Michael’s 9:00 pm-1:00 am
THE LINE UP  Club 21 9:30 pm-1:30 am
THE NEXT LEVEL BAND B. Jigger’s 9:30 pm1:30 am
RADIO LONDON Wild Wing Cafe 10:00 pm2:00 am
Saturday 11 August
98 IN THE SHADE East Beach 2-6 pm
TOMZ KATZ Nash’s Bait Camp 3-7 pm
RICK LEE & the NIGHT OWLS Woody’s Bar
3-7 pm
SURFACE Captain Jack’s Beach Bar 5-9 pm
TROPICAL DEPRESSION Tiki Beach Bar, Port
Bolivar 7-11 pm
GEORGE DOUGLAS LEE Chico’s Paradise
Roof Top Bar 7-11 pm
The San Luis Resort
 7:00 pm-12:00 am  
98 IN THE SHADE BayView Marina 7:30-11:30
pm
8:00 pm-12:00 am
pm-1:00 am
ARTHUR YORIA Old Quarter Acoustic Cafe
9:00 pm-1:00 am
MATT LEDDY & the MEATCUTTERS Poor
LAWST DOGZ  Club 21 9:30 pm-1:30 am
GREEN ONIONS B. Jigger’s 9:30 pm-1:30 am
DJ Wild Wing Cafe 10:00 pm-2:00 am
Sunday 12 August
pm
3 PEACE East Beach 2-6 pm
MARC TWYMAN
DAVE OATES Captain Jack’s Beach Bar 3-7 pm
DANNY SMITH & the POSTOFFICE STREET
ALLSTARS Ju-Ju Hangout 3-7 pm
98 IN THE SHADE The Spot 3-7 pm
TBA Woody’s Bar 3-7 pm
TBA Float 4-8 pm
HERBIE STUTES & the GRAND SHINN BAND
Tiki Beach Bar, Port Bolivar 6-10 pm
OPEN MIC JAM with
pm-1:00 am
Monday 13 August
8:00 pm-12:00 am
Tuesday 14 August
The San Luis Resort
 7-11 pm
Wednesday 15 August
8:00 pm-12:00 am
OPEN MIC with NEIL DOWN Old Quarter
Acoustic Cafe 9:00 pm- 1:00 am
Thursday 16 August
6-9 pm
8:00 pm-12:00 am
am
OPEN MIC with GENE POOL Old Quarter
Acoustic Cafe 9:00 pm-1:00 am
Cont. “Live” Page 22
Gift selection available at
Texas’ Oldest Drugstore
510 23rd Street
(409) 766-7719
The PARROT - Page 9
GROCERY F HARDWARE
MEAT
PRODUCE
DAIRY
FROZEN FOODS
HEALTH & BEAUTY
ICE- DRY ICE
BEER & WINE
GIFT SHOP
CLOTHES
T-SHIRTS
APPLIANCES
“More Than A Supermarket”
SUMMER HOURS:
SUN-THURS 7am-8pm
FRI & SAT 7am-9pm
TEXAS
LOTTERY
AUTO LICENSE RENEWAL
RV-MARINE-PLUMBING
ELECTRICAL-STAINLESS
GALVANIZED-FASTENERS
INSECTICIDE
LUCITE PAINT MIXING
CO
COMPUTER COLOR
MATCHING
FISHING SUPPLIES
LAWN & GARDEN
WINDOW & DOOR HARDWARE
KEYS MADE
AIR CONDITIONERS
WATER HEATERS
TOOLS- HAND & POWER
BUILDING SUPPLIES
WESTERN
UNION
GCM THE BIG STORE
409-684-2400
FAX 409-684-0306
[email protected]
2385 HWY 87 & DRIFTWOOD
CRYSTAL BEACH
Page 10 - The PARROT
LYSSA
GRAHAM
HELL HAS NOTHING ON AUGUST IN TEXAS
There is only one thing that I
really don’t like about Texas. It’s not,
surprisingly, the Bush dynasty thing.
I don’t hold the entire state of Texas
responsible for that. Large chunks
of Texas, sure, but I have great faith
and love for those little liberal pockets
around Austin and Galveston. Good
people there, weird but good.
It’s not those gigantic mosquitoes
that swarm around my ankles in what
I can only assume is a brazen attempt
to join together and drag me – feet
first – off to their lair. It’s not even
those damned Dallas Cowboys and
their refusal to get their act together
and pull off a winning season.   
It’s August. Plain and simple,
August. 
Because Hell has nothing on August
in Texas.  Sure Hell is hot, but Texas
is hot AND muggy in August – and
June and July and September and
parts of October and even some days
in November. It’s not the heat and it’s
not the humidity that gets me. It’s the
both of them together that make me a
cranky girl.           
Don’t get me wrong. I love changing
clothes and I even love a good
shower. I don’t, however, love doing
both of those things six times a day. I
am not the kind of girl who really digs
working up a good sweat. I am really
not the kind of girl who digs working
up a good sweat without even moving.
But that’s August in Texas for you.             
You get up in the morning, pour
your coffee over your head to cool off
and start your day by maneuvering
yourself into position in front of the
nearest fan, air conditioner vent or,
god help you, window. It’s enough to
make anyone cranky.           
And cranky in Texas is bad.
Everything is bigger in Texas and that
includes temper tantrums. Nobody
wants to be on the wrong side of a hot
and sweaty Texan. So, in the interest
of public safety, I offer up these helpful
tips to survive the sweatiest month of
the year.            
Tip one: Don’t move. At all. Not one
muscle. Just give it up and sit down
on your couch. There are plenty of
“Charmed” and “Law and Order”
reruns available. Nobody else is doing
any work, why should you? Relax,
veggie-size your brain and wait for
September to roll around.            
Tip two: Gin is your friend. Add some
to some tonic water, drop in some lime
and drink. Rinse your glass. Repeat.
Repeat again. Oh what the hell, repeat
some more. Now pour some gin over
your ankles. It might help keep the
mosquitoes away. Might not but by
now, who cares? Besides, “Charmed”
and “Law and Order” are much, much
better when you’re drunk.            
Tip three: Watch the Weather
Channel. It is hurricane season and
with any luck, one will roar your way
and you’ll finally get a breeze. So it’s
a 150 mph breeze. Again, who cares?
At least it’s a breeze and at 150 mph
those damned mosquitoes don’t stand
a chance of making that landing on
your ankles. The Weather Channel is
also more fun drunk.            
Tip four: Do not spray compressed
air into your ears. This has nothing
whatsoever to do with August. I only
mention it because I just bought one
of those cans of compressed air so
that I could blow the cigarette ashes
out of my computer. Right there on the
side of the can was a row of drawings
of teeny, tiny human heads doing all
of the things you are not supposed to
do with compressed air accompanied
by stern warnings not to do these
things. Amazingly, one of those heads
was turbo cleaning it’s ears with the
compressed air. I can’t imagine how
many times this had to happen before
the compressed air can people felt
that they had to add a warning to the
can. But they did and now I’ve shared
it with you. My good deed is done for
the day.           
Guam.
ARA
13
NOT
According to my friend Hope,
Galveston will be under three feet
of water in August. I’ve been told it
is best to prepare for this inevitable
event before it occurs. I reviewed the
hurricane preparation information from
my apartment’s rental group. They
recommend leaving Galveston at least
three days prior to any announcement
of an oncoming storm.
I turned on the weather
channel, was entertained by Storm
stories of the Arctic circle, dramatizing
when Dr. Frederick A. Cook’s
expedition was hit by an uncanny
patch of calm weather. They set up
lawn chairs and some of his men
overburned, having neglected to dab
sunscreen on each other’s backs,
a repercussion of the first known
application of the don’t ask don’t tell
B.O.I.
policy.
Of course, the rest of the story
is well known. The team soon turned
to cannibalism, even went so far as to
eschew their mates burned flesh and
was suspected of later eating sushi,
as some of the survivors, months after
being saved, though no longer of their
right mind would still horde ginger in
their undershorts.
Eventually, the reporter turned
to the weather in Galveston. According
to Master Weatherman, Trip Wilson,
there is a level 18 rainshower on its
way to the Gulf Coast. It is currently
in the Atlantic, having come from the
Pacific by way of the Adriatic, having
been seen by a milkmaid in Southern
France, which is suspected to have
originated when a butterfly sneezed in
That was all the warning I
needed. I duck taped my windows
and moved all my possessions to the
center of my apartment, decided the
Feng Shui was all wrong, moved the
windows to the ceiling, the bookcases
to the bathroom, and ducked taped
the pillows to the bed. I hired a lady,
whose psychic energy entered from
the eighth dimension via her third
nipple, to conduct a reading of my
place and reveal how the spirits will
react to my hosting a hurricane. She
recommended I also duck tape my
dog to the television.
I then grabbed my hurricane
preparedness kit, consisting of bottled
water to remain hydrated, bottled air
for when I have to urinate, and bottled
urine for when I don’t. I considered
for a moment, then jammed a copy of
Architectural Digest into the bag as
well. I taped a bowl of water onto the
TV next to my dog and ran out the
building.
The roads were eerily calm—
further proof of impending doom, as
the well known adage tells us. Just
look at the calm before the storm of
1926, when sixty-eight people were
lulled into a sense of allrightness, only
to drown in their Lazy-boys.
Since I own no vehicle, I
waited at the sidewalk for a cab to
hail, but none drove by. I decided to
hoof it. I reasoned if I walked twelveminute miles, in an hour I will have
walked five miles. With Houston only
fifty miles away, it would take me ten
hours to walk there—a mere pittance
compared to the two days all those
cars were jammed on the highway
during Rita. What fools they were
when they could have walked their
way to safety.
I trotted to Broadway and
began to sweat profusely. By the time
I reached Pho 20, I was famished. I
killed thirty six minutes eating the S2
with spring rolls and jasmine tea. I
now estimated it would take me ten
hours and thirty six minutes to get to
Houston—still way ahead of schedule.
As I continued down
Broadway, I was amazed by all the
traffic going into Galveston. Weren’t
they aware this was the best time to
evacuate? There may not be a storm
warning for days.
By the time I arrived at the
entrance to Interstate 45, I drank all
my water. By Texas City, I peed it all
out and had to resort to periodically
pouring out the reserve urine from
my containers. At this rate, I wouldn’t
make Friendswood. My provisions
were running short. I should have
bought some beef jerky. I was
overheated and tired.
Cont. “NOT” pg 20
Cont. “NOT” pg 24
The PARROT - Page 11
Dr. BEN
RAIMER
GALVESTON CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
LETTER FROM THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD
July 11, 2007
Dear Members,
Over the past 6 months, the
Galveston Chamber of Commerce
Board of Directors has reconstituted
itself successfully and embarked
upon a large scope of work.
Since February this year, the
Chamber’s new Board of Directors
have been appointed, the circa
1920 By-Laws have been revised
and approved by the Board and
the membership, the Policy and
Procedures will be reviewed by
the Board at its next meeting along
with the President’s contract. Restructuring of the Golden Division
and Ambassador Club has been
completed, and memberships are
at an all time high. During the same
time we have been about better
defining our relationship with the
Galveston Economic Development
Partnership, about a relevant
legislative agenda in Austin, and
about placing the Chamber on
sound financial ground.
The Chamber Board is focused
on “promoting and advocating” for
member businesses at the city,
state and county levels. Some
folks are “alarmed” that the “new”
Chamber is not sticking to routine
business. Business is NOT routine
in Galveston, and it is our belief
that your Chamber should be
aggressively advocating for those
things that make your business
successful on this island. We MUST
have a tax structure that is fair and
equitable and one that is conducive
to the retention and growth of
businesses that elect to locate on
the island. We MUST have the
city and county infrastructure that
encourage businesses to locate on
the island and STAY! We MUST
have a safe environment in which
customers and businesses can
operate.
We MUST have city
streets, water, sewage and trash
removal that is reliable. Our city
MUST be clean!
These things do not happen by
chance. They occur with dedicated
staff and with collaboration to
address issues as they present
and to anticipate issues before
they happen. Your Chamber is
having meetings quarterly with
your city officials to be sure that
your concerns are heard and
addressed. We are encouraged by
your city’s responsiveness and their
quick action on items that we have
addressed in this first six months.
There is also concern that the
“new” Chamber is perceived to be
a bit more “political”. The Chamber
has exercised its responsibility to
go on record in support of people,
projects, and positions that are
deemed to be supportive of
businesses in Galveston. That’s
why you are a Chamber member!
After all, you expect us to advocate
for a climate that is right for your
businesses success.
So --- if you see Chamber members
at city hall, at commissioners’
court, or in Austin --- asking for
public officials to do the right thing
in regards to city planning, new
construction, taxes, windstorm
insurance, conservation, city and
county infrastructure, or related
items --- “yes” we are there. We
are there because be firmly believe
that an organization that does not
stand up for the right things will not
be an organization that stands for
long. We are firm in our belief that
the Chamber must support those
issues that are deemed “right” for
business growth, retention, and
success. To that end, we work to
serve our members.
That said, we may not all agree
on everything --- but at the end of
the day, we tried!
Dr. Ben Raimer
Chairman of the board
M.J.
NASCHKE
Park Board Update
The mission statement of the Park
Board of Trustees of the City of
Galveston is to position Galveston
Island among the top five tourist
destinations in the State of Texas
by accepting responsibility for
Galveston’s number one industry:
Tourism. They are responsible for
promoting Galveston Island, its
diversity and natural resources, and
are committed to sustaining a worldclass organization through visionary
leadership, empowerment of staff,
human development and effective
appropriation of resources.
The Park Board of Trustees for
2007 - 2008 are Jeri Kinnear, Chair;
Betty Massey, Vice Chair; Michael
Hightower, Secretary/Treasurer;
Danny Weber, Mayor Pro-Tem; Ernie
Connor; Lauraleigh Gourley-Vogel;
Eddie Walsh; Vic Maceo; and Sheryl
Rozier.
A special thanks is extended to them
for their community service and the
many volunteer hours they unselfishly
devote to our Island.
One of the many responsibilities
of the Park Board is to clean the
beaches.
Seaweed – Friend or Foe? We have
been receiving complaints from
visitors and residents lately that
‘Galveston’s beaches are dirty’.
We agree that we have been
inundated with more than our share
of seaweed lately – it’s a natural
phenomenon that we are privileged to
host due to the tidal system along the
Gulf of Mexico. We all know it smells,
and it is unsightly, but it is also is a
blessing to beach renourishment.
The seaweed community supports a
diverse ecosystem providing a critical
habitat for a wide variety of sea life,
including Mahi Mahi, Juveline Sea
Turtles and Seabirds. Some marine
creatures found within the Sargassum
are unique and cannot be found
anywhere else in the world. Next
time you’re at the beach, take a small
clump of seaweed in your hand and
shake it over the sand. It’s amazing
to see what marine life falls from the
seaweed
Sargassum, or seaweed, is
free floating brown algae, kept at
the surface by its small berry-like
bladders. As it travels with the wind
and water currents, it breaks apart
– sometimes into areas covering more
than one acre.
It is estimated that 7 million tons
of live seaweed thrives in the sea. In
an effort to use the seaweed to our
advantage, the Park Board developed
a pilot program, now in process on
East Beach that leaves the seaweed
undisturbed as it accumulates and
creates a new dune line sprouting
vegetation.
Cleaning crews remove trash and
debris form the seaweed and rake
a clean area behind, or in front of it,
depending on tide conditions, in order
to allow our visitors to sunbathe and
enjoy the beaches. Once visitors
arrive for a day at the beach, the
cleaning process becomes a safety
concern. Therefore, cleaning must
be scheduled for the early morning
hours when the least number of
beachgoers are out and about. Park
Board crews begin the tedious raking
process as early at 4 AM to stay
ahead of beachgoers. As the seaweed
continues to wash ashore, it becomes
a vicious cycle to ‘keep up’ with the
seaweed migration to the shoreline.
Park Board facilities manager,
Chuck Coburn, has developed
equipment unique to Galveston, that
attaches to the front end of beach
cleaning heavy equipment that
removes only the seaweed from the
shoreline. Thus, leaving as much sand
in place as possible on our beaches.
The Park Board and its employees
are faced with the difficult challenge of
protecting our shoreline, while meeting
the needs of the beach-going public
and protecting our economic tourism
growth.
In addition to removing seaweed,
local crews clean an abundance of
trash that floats in with the tide, and
garbage that is left behind following
a day at the beach. The Park Board
provides trash receptacles for our
visitors and staff empties them on
a regular basis. We can all help in
the effort to preserve our natural
resources.
Brian Distefano, Park Board
Director of Marketing, has produced
an informative brochure on seaweed
that you may want to share with your
family. They are available at Galveston
Island Visitors Centers, 2027 61st St.
and 2215 Strand, and The Park Board
of Trustees, 2504 Church St. or at
www.galveston.com
Cover Story:
n
o
t
s
e
v
l
a
G
Cara Does
Playfully eccentric, vivaciously quirky
and loaded with talent, Cara Moore
is one of our city’s most beloved and
sought after artists.
It is impossible to imagine a visit to the
Strand, a night out in the town, a stroll
down the Seawall without coming face
to face with her creative genius. Cara
has skillfully sharpened the image of
the Galveston we know today: a blend
of its historic past, tropical fun and a
good dose of local funk. In fact, most
of today’s iconic establishments have
her imprint in common. These familiar
and beloved hangouts have survived
new trends, several ownerships and
hurricanes; the list is long but worth a
look to make sure you have not missed
a single one of them.
Seawall: Mario’s, Fish Tales, Ohana,
Float, The Spot, Waterman
Strand/Downtown: Hendley Market,
Fisherman’s Warf, Yaga’s, Tsunami,
Boomba, Juju, Midsummer Books,
Prosperity Bank.
Born in New Mexico, she moved to
Texas to complete her education in Fine
Arts at Sam Houston State University,
Stephen F. Austin, in Advertising
Design at the Art Institute of Houston,
and later traveled to Ravenna, Italy to
study Byzantine Mosaic.
Cara’s career in Galveston started as
Designer for Yaga’s sportswear lines.
After leaving Yaga she and colleague
Amber Felts joined talents and formed
a design partnership called Popwing,
Venturing on her own to fully express
her versatility she then started C. Moore
Studio and successfully combines her
talents as an accomplished muralist,
mosaicist and designer in many fields,
including retail (boutiques in the Houston
area, San Antonio River Center, St.
Louis’ Galleria) and restaurant concept
development
(Fisherman’s
Warf
dramatic 250 square feet entry floor
mosaic of a leaping tarpon and the
3D sculpted foam octopus with A.C.
ducts tentacles, Fishtales, The Spot,
Waterman, Pesce). Her collaboration
with friend and fellow artist Janice
Parson has produced many memorable
murals, such as the nationally famous
Commedia Dell’Arte mayhem scenes
in the original Tony Vallone’s Grotto,
the macabre fish scenes at La Griglia
restaurants and a 3000 square feet
mural for BMC Software Corporate
Headquarters in Houston. Public
commissions in Galveston include
a historic mural (1,000 square feet)
depicting turn of the century Galveston
that was unveiled as a gift to the city by
Prosperity Bank. In Houston she created
a money tree mural at the Galleria IV
for Simon Realty, and last year did a
paper and paint nature series for a midrise condo development Bayou on the
Bend on Houston’s Memorial drive.
How did Galveston luck into such a
prolific and multi faceted artist? Cara
will tell you that when she first came
to the Island it was the availability of
huge, architecturally interesting and
JOIN THE PARADE!
yet cheap artist’s lofts that drew her
here. Galveston seemed to be made
for artists who seek water, good lighting
and cultural diversity only one hour
away from metropolitan Houston.
Today she is still proud to call
Galveston home and still loves coming
back to the island after work projects
take away to other places. What artist
wouldn’t when residence and studio
space are combined inside a charming
old firehouse dating back to 1891? The
restoration, which took one and a half
years to complete, has given Cara her
dream house/studio where she freely
indulges in other creative endeavors,
she is after all an accomplished selftaught Bubbleologist, Didgeridooist
and a Certified Kayak instructor.
MarCh on in
to the BEST TOY
SHOP on
Galveston Island!
HUGE SUMMER SALE HAPPENING RIGHT NOW... DON’T MISS OUT!
Hours: Mon - Sat 10am - 6pm Sun - Noon - 6pm
2415 Mechanic Street
Galveston Island 409.762.1969
Mention this ad to
receive your FREE
GIFT!
Bar and Restaurant Listing
Our bar and restaurant listings are published as a public service for our visitors to the Island. Display
advertisers have expanded listings. To have your business listed or for advertising rates and information,
please call (409) 765-0218.
L.A. Based Buyer
New
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Arriving Weekly
Unfortunately we will no longer be sending mail-out coupons. Soon we will begin sending special offers
via e-mail, so please come in and get signed up!!!”
3rd Coast Beach Bar
409 765-6911 31st and Seawall Blvd.
Angie’s Place
(409) 765-0219 1421 39th St
Apache Mexican Cuisine
(409) 765-5646 511 20th St
Benno’s On the Beach
(409) 762-4621 1200 Seawall Blvd
Boomba
(409) 763-1000 2410 Strand
Bistro Lecroy’s
(409) 762-4200 2021 Strand St Ste 3
Buskers Sports Bar 2005 Postoffice
Cafe Michael Burger
(409) 740-3639 11150 Termini San Luis
Pas
Captain’s Table Galveston
(409) 744-0881 11126 Termini San Luis
Pas
Casey’s Seafood Restaurant
(409) 762-9625 3828 Seawall Blvd
Club 21
2102 Post Office St – (409) 762-2101
China Island
(409) 741-1101 6028 Avenue P 1/2
Church’s Chicken
(409) 762-7582 4825 Broadway St
Clary’s Seafood Restaurant
(409) 740-0771 8509 Teichman Rd
Cocktails
2411 Mechanic St – (409) 762-7900
Courtyard Cafe
(409) 763-3845 2519 Market St
Dairy Kream
(409) 762-6000 4402 Broadway St
Denny’s Restaurant
(409) 763-5954 1410 Seawall Blvd
Diamond Lounge
201 20th Street 409 765-6122 East Beach Bikini Bar
(409) 762-3278 1923 Boddeker (on beach)
El Gusto Del Pueblo
(409) 763-0410 3714 Broadway St
El Jardin
(409) 762-2864 413 24th St
El Nopalito Restaurant #1
(409) 763-9815 614 42nd St
El Patio Cafe
(409) 762-0503 1220 23rd St
Fisherman’s Wharf
(409) 765-5708 22 Pier
Fishtales
(409) 762-8545 2502 Seawall Blvd
Fuddruckers
(409) 765-8000 111 23rd St
Gaido’s Seafood Restaurant
(409) 762-9625 3800 Seawall Blvd
Galveston Hillton Sub of Landry’s Rest Inc
(409) 744-5000 5400 Seawall Blvd
General Joe’s Chopstix
(409) 763-0582 1002 Seawall Blvd
Gold Star Coffee Shop
(409) 763-9129 416 21st St
Golden Corral
(409) 744-1080 6200 Seawall Blvd
International House of Pancakes
(409) 740-7474 5224 Seawall Blvd
Jack In the Box
(409) 744-3521 2400 61st St
Jack In the Box
(409) 763-4121 923 Seawall Blvd
Java’s 213
213 Tremont 409 762-5282 Joe’s Crab Shack
(409) 766-1515 3502 Seawall Blvd
Joe’s Seafood
(409) 763-0763 3702 Broadway St
Ju Ju Hang Out & Grille
(409) 765-9300 2408 Strand St
Kentucky Fried Chicken
(409) 740-3416 2227 61st St
Laestacion Restaurant
(409) 762-4262 2428 Ball St
Leon’s World’s Finest In & Out Bbq House
(409) 744-0070 5427 Broadway St
Lucky Lounge
(409) 744-5333 8305 Stewart Road
Luby’s
(409) 744-8788 6125 Central City Blvd
Luigi’s Ristorante Italiano
(409) 763-6500 2328 Strand St
Market St. Tavern
2310 Market St. – (409) 762-8099
Mc Donalds Restaurant
(409) 750-9945 517 Seawall Blvd
McDonald’s In Walmart
(409) 740-5404 6702 Seawall Blvd
McDonald’s Restaurant of Galveston
(409) 744-5214 2912 61st St
McDonald’s Restaurant of Galveston
(409) 744-5886 5223 Broadway St
Mediterranean Chef
(409) 765-7700 2402 Strand St
Mercadito Y Taqueria Grocery & Meat
Market
(409) 762-5870 3802 Broadway St
Miller’s Landing
(409) 763-8777 1824 Seawall Blvd
Molly’s (409) 763-4466 2013 Postoffice
Mosquito Cafe
(409) 763-1010 628 14th St
Murphy’s Irish Pub (409) 762-6177
215-13 22nd street
Nate’s Steakhouse
(409) 763-6283 1228 Seawall Blvd
O’Malley’s Stage Door Pub 2022 Postoffice
Old Cellar Bar 2015 Postoffice
Old Quarter Acoustic Cafe:
413 20th Street 409 762-9199 Oyster’s Bar & Grill
(409) 762-7299 2105 Post Office St
Pelican Club of Galveston
(409) 762-9625 3800 Seawall Blvd
Poor Michael’s on the Strand
2007 Strand St. – (409) 789-9820
Popeye’s Chicken & Biscuits
(409) 740-4335 2904 61st St
Popeye’s Famous Fried Chicken
(409) 762-5744 3027 Broadway St
Press Box
(409) 765-5958 2401 Post Office St
Queens Barbeque
(409) 762-3151 3428 Avenue S
Rainforest Cafe
(409) 744-6000 5310 Seawall Blvd
Richard’s On the Bay
(409) 737-5151 21706 Burnet Dr
Rudy T & Paco Restaurants
(409) 762-3696 2028 Post Office St
Saltgrass Steakhouse
(409) 762-4261 1502 Seawall Blvd
Saltwater Grill
(409) 762-3474 2017 Post Office St
Santiago’s Restaurant
(409) 740-3644 5302 Broadway St
Cont. “Bar” pg 56
RICHARD
BOOTH
THE “FEEL” OF FIREWORKS AND THE
FREEDOM OF BIRDS
Almost everyone has attended a
fourth of July fireworks show. So
almost everyone has marveled at
the beautiful colors and patterns,
and flinched from the sound of the
explosions. When you attend one
of the many such shows fired from
barges on the water, in your boat,
you add the third and most awesome
element. Even though the harbor
police maintain a safety boundary
around the barge, one can get close
enough to be right under the booms.
There you not only hear them, but
also feel the shock wave. I always
go in my little ski boat, because the
sonic boom actually pushes the boat
down in the water a little, and vibrates
through thr hull to go along with my
body flinching. The three minute
finale is a rush I can only equate with
sensual pleasure…..you know, sex.
Speaking of sensual pleasure;
wait….hang on, I’ll get to that in a
minute.
One of the great perks of boating
is being able to watch the various
seabirds in their aerial maneuvers.
A seagull floats along, then suddenly
does a wild 180 wingover and zooms
down to pluck a fish from just below
the surface, which is very cool by
itself. But then while flying away,
juggles the fish around so it is facing
the right direction to swallow. This is
the very last little example of the fast
food business. The natural aerobatics
of gulls are a wonder to watch. If you
cruise along slowly, you can attract
a flock of gulls who hope your going
to throw out a munchie, and they will
perform extraordinary maneuvers.
Oh, if only we humans could be so
free and unfettered.
Pelicans are the artful soarers.
They can use the smallest puff of
wind to glide a little further. They
will soar along a breaking wave (on
the curl side) because the curl and
the forward motion create an updraft
which the birds can glide on as long
as the wave lasts. They always soar
on the windward side of a bridge or
row of houses because they form a
wall and create an updraft. Oh, if
only we humans could be so free and
unfettered.
Now we get to the aforementioned
sensual pleasure. My friend Bill called
me in the spring to ask; Richard, you
have lived at the beach all your life.
Have you ever seen seagulls mating?
I thought for a while and realized, in
my many decades at the sea shore, I
had never seen anything mating. And
why do you ask, says I? Well, says
he. “There are seagulls on my next
door neighbor’s roof just flapping,
and squawking, and humping.” He
went on to say that in his years
around salt water, he had never
seen anything like it. “They wake
me up at night flapping, squawking,
and humping. I try to eat breakfast
and they’re flapping, squawking and
humping. I come home for dinner,
and they’re flapping, squawking and
humping. This must be seagull mating
central for all of West Bay. Oh, if
only we humans could be so free and
unfettered.
*First note: I haven’t been over to
Bills to witness this phenomenon. My
social life hasn’t been to hot as it is,
so I don’t need that kind of frustration,
and besides, I have too much to do, to
follow poor Bill into a sordid life of bird
porn.
*Second note: I had always heard
that everything was bigger in Texas.
It blew me away when arriving in the
Gulf, that I didn’t know the seagulls
here were seagulls. They are the size
of Dustin Hoffman. Pacific coast gulls
are all white except the gray wings
and they are Arnold Schwarzenegger.
They look like gulls on steroids, all
puffed up strutting around the beach.
BOATING TIP OF THE MONTH:
While out amongst the huge fleet
the night of the 4th, I was appalled
at the large number of vessels with
one or more running lights out. I am
thinking it must have been the first use
of the season for fully half the boats I
saw that night. If that many vessels
had dead lights, then also that many
probably have had no preseason
maintenance, and will have more
problems that just dead lights. Tsk,
tsk! As I have mentioned previously,
every vessel running at night must
display one green light facing forward
on the starboard (right) side, one red
light facing forward on the port (left)
Cont. “Feel” pg 29
GAlveston’s
oldest
imported 2501 market
meats cheeses
gourmet spices teas
and specialty
food
street
Galveston
Olives & island
olive oil 4 0 9 . 7 6 3 . 3 3 3 1
store gift baskets maceospice.com
whole sale - retail
GARRISON
KEILLER
HOW THE NORSE STAY ON COURSE
THURSDAYS
This week I am traveling around
the part of Norway you see in the
travel brochures — the fjords with
picturesque villages on the shores,
forested mountains with thousand-foot
waterfalls coursing down the precipices,
old wooden fishing boats anchored in
the harbor, old churches. An American
walks around and wonders, “Where are
the auto salvage yards, the strip malls,
the golden arches?” This is a country
that believes in zoning and government
regulation. Government trolls will not
allow you to open up a Mr. Donut drivein unless you disguise it as a shop.
This morning we visited a village
whose name cannot be printed in
an American newspaper because it
contains a vowel we don’t have — the
A with a tiny O over it — a village of 300
that is visited by 250,000 cruise ship
visitors a year. It’s as if Minneapolis
were to be visited every summer by
The Chinese People. The proportion
of 250,000 visitors to 300 residents
means that all the villagers are in retail.
They sell a lot of Norwegian sweaters.
Floridians and Californians come on a
cruise ship in July and expect to find
summer and they find chilly days and
a light drizzle and they get cold and
need to wrap themselves in wool. The
sale of sweaters enables the villagers
to lock up after Christmas and spend
January, February and March in Florida
or California.
Ancient burial mounds here tell us
something about the Vikings. For one
thing, when a chieftain died, his people
killed a slave woman to go along with
him to the afterlife. They asked for
volunteers and since the lives of slave
women were hard, there were some
who were willing to take their chances
on entering paradise. We also learn that
the Vikings were expert woodworkers,
which was how they were able to
discover America 400 years before
Columbus. They knew how to join
wood and make ships that would stand
up to the North Atlantic. And when St.
Olaf converted them to Christianity in
the 11th century and they swung away
from Odin and Freja and Thor and the
skaldic sagas and took up the epistles
of St. Paul, they gave up domination
by force and learned the art of passive
aggression.
In Moorhead, Minnesota, you’ll
find a fine replica of an 11th century
Norwegian stave church, which looks
a little odd there with few trees and
no mountains. And that’s how the
Norwegian emigrants felt who wound
up on the prairie. The sky was too big
and they had to learn to walk on level
ground. But life was hard in Norway.
The Black Plague had killed off half the
country in the 14th century and made it
defenseless, and so Norway fell under
the woolen fist of Danish oppression
until Denmark chose the wrong side in
the Napoleonic wars and was forced by
Britain to give Norway to Sweden, and
between the Danes and the Swedes
they managed to give Norway a
national inferiority complex that lasted
even beyond national independence
in 1905. In these little villages along
the fjords, people wearied of vertical
agriculture and began emigrating to the
Midwest back when it was a primitive
frontier.
A Norwegian hates to admit a
mistake, however, so the emigrants
wrote glowing letters back to Norway,
which lured even more Norwegians to
the Midwest, so they missed out on the
great Norwegian oil and gas bonanza
of the past 50 years. Our oil profits go
to robber barons who give it to their
wastrel children to subsidize lives of
insane narcissism, but Norwegian oil
profits go mostly to the Norwegian
people and subsidize the little villages
and the roads and rails needed to
connect them — Norwegians are in
favor of provincialism — and also go
to the largest pension fund in Europe,
$300 billion, which is forecast to more
than double in the next 10 years.
American Norwegians live in little
prairie towns where health care is the
main industry because everybody’s
old and their main asset is their home,
which isn’t worth what it was because
the town is shrinking because old
people have a tendency to die. Their
ancestors took a wrong turn. They had
no idea America would fall into the
hands of a failed oilman who would
waste the country’s pension money on
a war for oil while Norway, the world’s
most peaceful country, enjoys a very
sensible prosperity. They’ve voted twice
to stay out of the European Union. Why
mess with success?
(Garrison Keillor’s “A Prairie Home
Companion” can be heard Saturday
nights on public radio stations across
the country.)
bulletin board
Send releases and info to: [email protected]
Gulf Coast Volleyball Association
Hot as Hell Classic Tournament
Date: August 5, 2007
Time: Check-in before 8:15am
Location: Stewart Beach
Parking: $8.00
For more information: www.gcva.
net; 832-928-4120
www.galveston.com
GCVA Beach Volleyball
Tournament Divisions:
Men’s 2’s Open/AA, A, BB,
Women’s 2’s AA, A
Junior 2’s 18<, 15<
Coed 2’s BB 2’s
Some of the best volleyball
players in the state, including an
Olympic player, participate in this
fast action tournament. A rousing
event to watch while beating the
heat .
Radio Disney’s
Annual Back to School
Sand Castle Building Contest
Time: Registration 12:30 PM
Sand Castle Building 1 – 3 PM
Location: Stewart Beach
Parking: $8 per car
Entry Fee: None
For more information and
contest rules: (713) 552-1590,
www.radiodisney.com/houston,
or www.galveston.com
Sponsored by the Park Board of
Trustees and Radio Disney, the
annual sand castle contest is for
ages 4 – 15 years and themes
should be Disney related. This
may include a Disney themed
park castle, a celebrity such as
the Cheetah Girls, or characters
such as Cinderella. Activities will
include a Hula Hoop Contest,
Limbo Rock Contest and games.
Judging will begin at 3 PM and
prizes will be awarded to winners
in each category.
ArtWalk
Time: 6:00pm-9:00pm
Location: Galveston’s Historic
Downtown District
For more information: www.
galvestonartscenter.org; 409-7632403
ArtWalk is Galveston’s free
evening in celebration of the
visual arts. Galleries, restaurants
and other businesses open their
doors to host artists from all over
the world and welcome visitors.
Most locations are within walking
distance in Galveston’s charming
Historic Downtown District,
although the popular event has now
expanded to other locations on the
island.
Galveston
Independent
School District to Host Back
to School Fair on August 16
GALVESTON, TX-Galveston
Independent School District will host
a Back to School Fair on Thursday,
August 16 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at
Garten Verein, 2704 Avenue O.  This
fair will serve as a central clearinghouse
of information for GISD students,
parents and community members.  The
purpose of the fair is to provide a friendly
setting where parents can visit for the
purpose of acquiring information about
the processes, procedures, or services
related to the educational experiences
of their children and the school system.
Parents/guardians will have the
opportunity to register students, sign up
for free and reduced meals with Child
Nutrition, sign up for bus transportation
and request assistance on school
clothes and school supplies. There
will also be information on resources
provided by the district and outside
entities including teen pregnancy
program, bilingual services and special
education services.
Parents registering students who
are new to the district, including prekindergartners and kindergartners,
should bring their driver’s license, proof
of residence, child’s birth certificate,
social security card and immunization
records or school records if they are
transferring from another district.
The University of Texas Medical
Branch Teen Health Clinic will be on
hand to offer free immunizations and
provide information.  Parents can also
get information on resources provided
by the district and outside entities
to assist students including the teen
pregnancy program, bilingual services
and special education services as well
as many others.
For more information on the fair, call
(409) 766-5100. 
THE ART GUYS: CLOUD CUCKOO
LAND
August 25–October 7, 2007
ArtWalk Reception, Saturday, August
25, 6 to 9 p.m.
Galveston, TX—July 15, 2007—The
Galveston Arts Center is pleased to announce the opening of The Art Guys:
Cloud Cuckoo Land, selections from
twenty-five years of drawings, proposals, failed schemes, and pipe dreams
of the Houston artist team of Michael
Galbreath and Jack Massing who work
collaboratively under the name The
Art Guys. An opening reception will be
hosted during ArtWalk on Saturday,
August 25, from 6 to 9 pm. A gallery
talk with curator Clint Willour and The
Art Guys will be held for GAC members beginning at 5 p.m. The exhibition
will remain on view through October 7,
2007.
Featuring proposals for work
that did, did not, and sometimes just
could not come to fruition, the exhibition will include drawings, maquettes,
ephemera, and documentation. The
self-proposed title, “Cloud Cuckoo
Land” is an idiom referring to people
with “ideas or plans that are unrealistic,
[who] are living on cloud cuckoo land.”
Several works from the series 101 of
the World’s Greatest Sculpture Proposals will be on view, including The
Big Sneeze (Study), 1991, and Suitcase Wheel (Study), 1989. A letter from
the billboard commissioned by Absolut
Vodka will be on display from Absolutly
1,000 Coats of Paint, 1998–99. The
project evolved over a nine-month period as The Art Guys applied approximately 3 coats of paint a day to the
three-dimensional letters and bottle on
a billboard on display in Houston’s Galleria area. The exhibition will also include studies from Travel Light, 2004,
the public art project chosen by Art in
America magazine as one of the 21
best public art projects of 2005. Permanently installed in the international
baggage claim area of Terminal E at
Houston’s Bush Intercontinental Airport, the work is comprised of 360 cast
translucent suitcases assembled into
a halo and illuminated with computer
controlled L.E.D. lights.
In 1983, Jack Massing and Michael
Galbreath decided to “agree on painting,” sticking their hands into buckets
of paint and shaking hands, and thus
beget The Art Guys. More than twenty
years later, the duo is still in action, creating work that is at once witty and wry,
silly and sly. Michael Galbreath grew
up in Asheville, NC, and Nashville,
TN, received a BFA from Memphis
State University in 1980, where he met
James Surls, a visiting professor from
the University of Houston who encouraged Galbreath to apply to UH’s graduate program. He enrolled in the fall of
1981 and received an MFA in 1984.
It was during an event at Lawndale
Art and Performance Center during the
spring of 1982 that he met Jack Massing, then an undergraduate art student
at UH. Massing, a native of Buffalo,
NY, studied at Niagara County Community College, then moved to Houston in 1980 where he attended The
Glassell School of Art at The Museum
of Fine Arts, Houston. He received at
BFA from the University of Houston
in 1984.
“When applying descriptors for what
it is that they actually do, it is difficult
to choose just one. Their work falls
under the categories of visual, performance and conceptual art. It is often described as low-brow, slapstick,
engaging, entertaining or amusing,”
notes Alexandra Irvine, GAC’s executive director. “Overall, the one
consistent thing that the Art Guys do
is create cleverly conceived ways to
poke fun at their own chosen profession and the elitist or high-brow attitude—often rightly so—attributed to
the fine art world.”
The exhibition is organized by Clint
Willour, Curator, for the Galveston
Arts Center. It will be accompanied by
an exhibition catalogue with an essay
by Lynn M. Herbert, former Senior
Curator of Houston’s Contemporary
Arts Museum, and curator of the 1995
exhibition The Art Guys: Think Twice
1983–1995. Following its presentation in Galveston, the exhibition will
travel to The Nave Museum, Victoria,
TX; Art Museum of Southeast Texas,
Beaumont; The Ellen Noel Museum,
Odessa; and The Grace Museum in
Abilene. This project is supported in
part by grants from The National Endowment for the Arts and the Texas
Commission on the Arts.
The exhibition opens with a reception from 6 to 9 pm, during ArtWalk—
Galveston’s free evening in celebration of the visual arts—which is held
on Saturday evenings approximately
eight times a year. Galleries, restaurants and other businesses open their
doors to host artists from all over the
world and welcome visitors. Most locations are within walking distance in
Galveston’s charming Historic Downtown District. The popular event has
now expanded to other locations on
the island. For more than 15 years,
the Galveston Arts Center has organized ArtWalk to promote the visual
arts, offer alternative spaces to see
and learn about art and to welcome
visitors and residents to the island’s
open art community. A brochure with
a map and information on participating venues will be available at the
Cont. “Art” pg 20
DEEP THOUGHTS
Here are a few things to think about
while you are relaxing...
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have
to be before they are considered
assassinated
instead
of
just
murdered?
Why do you have to “put your two
cents in”.. . but it’s only a “penny
for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra
penny going to?
Once you’re in heaven, do you get
stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a
square box?
What disease did cured ham actually
have?
How is it that we put man on the moon
before we figured out it would be
a good idea to put wheels on
luggage?
Why is it that people say they “slept
like a baby” when babies wake up
like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is
it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re
ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall
buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the
ground?
STARTING MAY 28TH
SUMMER HOURS
Mon – Thur 4:30-9
Fri – 4:30- 10
Sat – 11 – 10
Sun 11 – 9
(409) 684-1999
Why do doctors leave the room while
you change? They’re going to see
you naked anyway.
Why is “bra” singular and “panties”
plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting
that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human
being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one
cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive
in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island
can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a
boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while
Pluto remains on all fours? They’re
both dogs!
If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money
to buy all that ACME junk, why
didn’t he just buy dinner?
If electricity comes from electrons,
does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle,
Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
Why did you just try singing the two
songs above?
Did you ever notice that when you
blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him for a car
ride; he sticks his head out the
window?
“NOT” Cont.
In my heat-stricken state, I
began to hallucinate. I lay down to
rest in a patch of shade provided
by a billboard informing me of an
individual interested in buying any
home no matter what condition. I
thought that nice and passed out. I
awoke to find myself standing in line
at Bob’s Grocery wanting to cash
a government assistance check
for two thousand dollars. I learned
later a passerby found me rambling
about Kinky Friedman for governor,
immediately recognized my lack of
sanity and took me to Houston’s
psychiatric hospital. From there,
they duly put me on a bus back to
Galveston as per Texas’ agreement
with the showered people to move any
potentially unshowered people closer
to water. The state also figured two
grand should be enough for soap.
As the medication wore off,
I was charmed by the notion I had
completed my evacuation, albeit not
in the fashion I expected, but when do
life saving measures ever go without
a hitch? I returned home, untaped
my dog and mopped under the TV.
As I watched reruns of last week’s
weather, I took comfort knowing I now
had a perfectly workable evacuation
plan. As quoted by Bartlett who
Mon – Rib eye and Shrimp
Tues – Chefs Special
Wed – 3 way Shrimp
profited by the lazy man’s preference
of reading quick quaintisms in lieu of
an actual body of work: Preparation
is nine tenths perspiration—though
I think my experience has taught
me it is two hundred ten percent
perspiration. The point being: if you
pack enough water think of all the
sweating you can do.
“Art” Cont.
GAC front desk.
The next ArtWalk date is Saturday, October 13, 2007. GAC will present three
exhibitions, Second Nature: Beverly
Penn and Susan Davidoff; Marianne
Green: Disparate Housewife; and Joy
Christiansen: Domestic Encounters.
All exhibitions are free and open to the
public. GAC’s summer hours (through
Labor Day) are Monday through Saturday, 11 am to 5 pm, and Sunday, 12
noon to 5 pm. For information, phone
409.763.2403 or visit www.galvestonartscenter.org
Funding for Galveston Arts Center programs is provided by The Brown Foundation, Inc.; Houston Endowment Inc.,
Harris and Eliza Kempner Fund, The
National Endowment for the Arts, Texas Commission on the Arts, the City of
Galveston through the Hotel/Motel Tax
fund and generous community support,
volunteers and an active membership.
DAVE
BARRY
SERPENTS’ RIGHTS
A question that more and more
Americans are asking, as they
become increasingly fed up with
crime, is: What, exactly, are the
legal rights of accused snakes?
Consider the case of a snake
that recently ran afoul of the law in
Virginia. According to a story in the
Fredericksburg, Va., Free LanceStar, written by Keith Epps and sent
in by alert reader Venetia Sims,
this particular snake, a four-foot
Burmese python identified only as
“a Spotsylvania County snake,” was
apprehended by an Alcoholic Beverage
Control agent and the Spotsylvania
sheriff’s office in connection with
a liquor-store robbery. I am not, of
course, suggesting here that the police
thought the snake robbed the store.
They thought it drove the getaway car.
No, seriously, the snake belonged to one
of the robbery suspects, and, according
to the story, the police had received
information that the snake had money
from the robbery “stashed inside of it.”
The story doesn’t say how a person
would go about stashing money inside
a snake, nor how this person would
get the money back out. But for the
record, most financial advisers do not
recommend that you put your money
into snakes. Let me add, from personal
experience, that real estate is not such
a hot investment either. Some friends
and I once put some money into a
small apartment building, and we never
did get it back out. What we got was a
constant stream of tenant complaints,
including every conceivable kind of
toilet blockage and-this is the absolute
truth-an infestation of bats that made the
local TV news. Looking back, I think we
would have been better off with a snake.
But getting back to “a Spotsylvania
County snake,” the police took it into
custody (presumably in a handcuff)
and held it without bail for a week,
during which time they X-rayed it.
According to the story, the X-ray
“revealed
something
suspicious
inside the snake, but police weren’t
sure what it was.” It turned out to be
snake poop, which-and this is exactly
what is wrong with our society today,
if you want my and Pat Buchanan’s
opinion-is still legal in Virginia.
So the police were forced to release
the snake, although not on its own
recognizance. (One of the unique
things about snakes is that they don’t
even have a recognizance; biologists
still have no idea how they reproduce.)
At this point, you are saying: “Dave, no
offense, but it is just so typical of media
scum like you to make a big deal about
one snake who is connected to a liquorstore robbery, while totally ignoring
the millions of law-abiding, taxpaying
snakes, not to mention ferrets.”
You make a strong point, which is
why at this time I wish to present an
inspiring story, which I am not making
up, concerning a courageous ferret in
Morton Grove, Ill. According to an item
from the Northbrook Star, written by
Kathy Routliffe and alertly sent in by
Janet Kolehmainen, police received
an emergency 911 call from a home
in Morton Grove; upon arriving on
the scene, they broke into the home
and discovered that the call had been
made by a pet ferret named “Bandit.”
Unfortunately, this did not turn out
to be one of those heartwarming cases
wherein a loyal and quick-thinking
ferret, seeing that its master was
having a heart attack, called police
and then administered snout-to-mouth
resuscitation until help arrived. This
was simply a case of Bandit, while
walking around the house alone,
stepping on the telephone speeddial button for 911. But the point is
that there could have been a medical
problem, and if there had been, Bandit
would be a hero today, perhaps
even making a personal appearance
on the “Jerry Springer” show.
Speaking of crustaceans, it’s time for a:
LOBSTER UPDATE: I have been
deeply gratified by the tremendous
outpouring of letters from you readers
supporting my courageous decision
to come out of the closet and state
that I think lobsters are big insects.
Some of you also sent me an alarming
news item stating that researchers at
Harvard Medical School are-I swear
I’m not making this up, either-giving
Prozac to lobsters. The researchers
say the drug “makes lobsters more
docile, and less likely to snap when
fished out of a tank at a restaurant.”
The article states that the
researchers hope their work will
ultimately benefit humans. This
raises some alarming questions:
1. Are there restaurants
that keep humans in tanks?
2. Are these humans forced to
wear rubber bands on their hands?
Cont. “SERPENT” pg 29
“Live”
Cont.
OPEN MIC JAM with
OOMBA
pm-1:00 am
Friday 17 August
The Tremont 5-7 pm
FREQUENCY Captain Jack’s Beach Bar 5-9 pm
pm-12:00 am
pm-1:00 am
JASON EADY Old Quarter Acoustic Cafe 9:00
pm-1:00 am
LALA WILSON BLUES BAND Poor Michael’s
9:00 pm-1:00 am
PEE WEE BOWEN
& the MOONLIGHTERS  Club 21 9:30 pm-1:30
am
RADIO LONDON B. Jigger’s 9:30 pm-1:30 am
JERRY HART & SOUTHERN WAY Wild Wing
Cafe 10:00 pm-2:00 am
THE LINE UP Yaga’s 10:30 pm-1:30 am
Saturday 18 August
SIX MONTH EXPERIMENT East Beach 2-6 pm
BRUNETTE SKY Captain Jack’s Beach Bar 5-9
pm
MYKE MILLER Chico’s Paradise Roof Top Bar
7-11 pm
The San Luis Resort
 7:00 pm-12:00 am 
TOMZ KATZ BayView Marina 7:30-11:30 pm
8:00 pm-12:00 am
TEXAS REVOLUTION Tiki Beach Bar, Port
SLOW ROLLING LOWS Ju-Ju Hangout 8:30
pm-12:30 am
pm-1:00 am
DANA COOPER Old Quarter Acoustic Cafe
9:00 pm-1:00 am
CLOUD NINE Poor Michael’s 9:00 pm-1:00 am
PEE WEE BOWEN
& the MOONLIGHTERS  Club 21 9:30 pm-1:30
am
RADIO LONDON B. Jigger’s 9:30 pm-1:30 am
DJ Wild Wing Cafe 10:00 pm-2:00 am
Sunday 19 August
pm
MARC TWYMAN
OBSOLETE AUGUST Captain Jack’s Beach
Bar 3-7 pm
TBA Ju-Ju Hangout 3-7 pm
DOUBLE OUGHT The Spot 3-7 pm
THE SKIP DEVLIN BAND Woody’s Bar 3-7 pm
TBA Float 4-8 pm
TOMZ KATZ Nash’s Bait Camp 4-8 pm
OPEN MIC JAM with
pm-1:00 am
Monday 20 August
8:00 pm-12:00 am
 Tuesday 21 August
The San Luis Resort
 7-11 pm
Wednesday 22 August
8:00 pm-12:00 am
Thursday 23 August
6-9 pm
8:00 pm-12:00 am
am
OPEN MIC JAM with
pm-1:00 am
Friday 24 August
The Tremont 5-7 pm
DOUBLE OUGHT Captain Jack’s Beach Bar
5-9 pm
THE RELAY Moody Gardens 8:00-9:30 pm
pm-12:00 am
THRILL HILL & the REAL DEAL Ju-Ju Hangout
8:30 pm-12:30 am
pm-1:00 am
am
TOMZ KATZ Poor Michael’s 9:00 pm-1:00 am
AL CASEY & the BBs  Club 21 9:30 pm-1:30 am
DOWN TO EARTH B. Jigger’s 9:30 pm-1:30 am
THE SKINNIES Wild Wing Cafe 9:30 pm-1:30
am
Saturday 25 August
THE TONY VEGA BAND Woody’s Bar 3-7 pm
LAWST DOGZ Captain Jack’s Beach Bar 5-9
pm
MP2 Chico’s Paradise Roof Top Bar 7-11 pm
The San Luis Resort
 7:00 pm-12:00 am 
THE SHARKS BayView Marina 7:30-11:30 pm
8:00 pm-12:00 am
TWISTED SADDLE Tiki Beach Bar, Port Bolivar
8:00 pm-12:00 am
THRILL HILL & the REAL DEAL Ju-Ju Hangout
8:30 pm-12:30 am
pm-1:00 am
SHAKE RUSSELL
MARIETTA ROBARDS opening Old Quarter
THRILL HILL & the REAL DEAL Poor Michael’s
9:00 pm-1:00 am
JOHNNY LeBLANC
& the TOO LOOSE BAND  Club 21 9:30 pm1:30 am
C.C. RIDER B. Jigger’s 9:30 pm-1:30 am
Cont. “Live” pg 30
MARSHA
WILSON RAPPPAPORT
DINING: Bravo for Brunch!
I love brunch! I just don’t
like dragging out of the sack with
bed head and cooking a big exotic
breakfast just before I rush to the
hardware store on the weekends.
Therefore, those of you who
empathize with me, will welcome this
story. Galveston now has three really
great bunch spots where you can dine
like royalty, then run yourself ragged
looking for garden tools.
East End Brunch:
The Sunflower Bakery and
Café is constantly reinventing itself.
Their weekend brunch is filled with
rich and tasty creations, prepared
with their usual superb consistency
Why settle for eggs and bacon? At
Sunflower, you can enjoy generous
pieces of Jumbo Lump Crab Meat,
lightly sautéed and presented with
a rich warm Hollandaise Sauce. It’s
all so scrumptious you barely notice
the traditional poached eggs and
breakfast potatoes. Other Sunday
surprises included Red Snapper,
Veal, Filet and Mignon, Lamb Chops,
Steak, Crab Cakes and traditional
Eggs Benedict. By the way don’t
forget the Challah French Toast and
Bread Pudding French Toast – you’ll
be missing a real treat.
All of this sunny goodness is
served on Mimosas all day Saturday
and after 10 a.m on Sunday.
Right after stuffing yourself
at brunch, be sure to drop next door
into their new retail space: Sunflower
Kitchen. Be warned die hard foodiesyou will not leave without spending
money!
Sunflower Kitchen has a
diverse range of specialty cooking
ingredients from Barefoot Contessa
and Stonewall which are brands
familiar to those who enjoy cooking.
Bakers will love Barefoot Contessas’s
ultimate ginger cookie mix , rich
mango chutney or tequila lime
marinade. Stonewall Kitchen has a
range of products from jams, jellies,
rubs, marinades and even peach
butter. Those wishing to “top off”
their new culinary creations will find
a selection of organic and traditional
wines here as well.
“Everyone really loves the
chocolate covered sunflower seeds,”
recommends Maddie Blair.
In fact, kids do get respect
at Sunflower Kitchen which provides
innovative “Kids Love to Bake” kits by
Sassafras. Parents might want to keep
in mind, not only does teaching kids
to cook teach them valuable survival
skills it also hones math and discipline
skill sets.
Sunflower Bakery and Café
and Kitchen is still family owned and
operated. Lisa, Harry, Samantha and
Maddie Blair are usually present to
meet and greet guests. It has become
one of the island’s most delightful and
delicious business success stories.
Sunflower Bakery and
Café and the Sunflower Kitchen
can be found at http://www.
thesunflowerbakeryandcafe.com/ ,
512 14th Street, Galveston, TX 77550,
(409) 763-5500 and Kitchen (409)
763-2000.
Maddie Blair welcomes guests to
the new Sunflower Kitchen
West End Brunch:
Seaside Bistro is a short ride
west down the scenic seawall and well
worth the drive. They have Seafood
Crepes filled with eggs, shrimp,
scallops and crab meat topped with a
savory mornay sauce. Eggs Sardou
is also very popular. This dish features
poached eggs, on an English muffin
with a surprising topping of artichoke
bottoms and spinach topped with
hollandaise sauce.
Summer Store Hours
Mon - Sat 10-5 • Sun Noon-4
or by appointment • Closed Wednesdays
•Coastal Furniture •Accessories
•Bedding•Outdoor Furniture
•Mattresses
Houston weekenders Barbara and
Meagan McLendon at Seaside
Bistro
Cont. “DINING” pg 29
1333 Hwy 87 • Crystal Beach, Tx 77650
409.684.9535
[email protected]
D.
the art scene
NEVELOW
prevalent in the industry, especially with
the cell phone and digital technology
available. It is very easy for someone
to digitally photograph a painting, and
then use that digital image to reproduce
a Giclee without the knowledge or
careful scrutiny of the artist. To these
people I say, it is theft, and in a broader
“Ideas go booming through the
world louder than cannon”... W. M.
Paxton
When Johann Gutenberg invented
the first printing press in 1450, I’m
sure he had no conception as to the
world of ideas and developments that
would follow through the centuries. Art,
being a visual genre, has benefited the
most from Mr. Gutenberg. What many
today find confusing is the various
methods and techniques of printing or
reproducing art. Through this article,
I hope to eliminate a few of those
confusions. Although I don’t have the
space to write about all the techniques,
I will address the two most popular...
Lithography and Giclee. I will also write
about another art form often confused
with mass production printing, and that
is Mono-Print.
Lithography is primarily used for
high volume production. The process
involves producing a photographic
negative which is then placed in
contact with the emulsion of a printing
plate (burning the negative image into
the plate). In a four color process, reds,
blues, yellows and black are separated
onto four separate plates, and the
plates are then affixed to drums on a
printing press. The paper runs through
all four drums and the result is a copy of
the original positive image. Innovations
and refinements have improved the
printing process and presses over the
years. The development of the digital
platesetter in the late twentieth century
eliminated film negatives altogether
by exposing printing plates directly
from digital input, a process known as
computer-to-plate printing. Museums
creating productions of originals,
published artists, and companies who
produce and distribute posters most
often use the lithography process.
A Giclee, in simple terms, is a
print created from a digital source,
printed using inkjet technology. Giclee
(pronounced gee-clay) is a French
term meaning to spray or quirt, which is
how an inkjet printer works. Since the
early 1990’s it has come to mean any
high quality ink-jet print. The prints are
created using fade resistant “archival”
inks onto several different types of
art paper or canvas. Artists tend to
use this technology due to the cost,
volume requirement, and time savings.
The artist does not need to pay for,
market and store large print runs as in
lithography. Giclee style printing also
allows the artist to control every aspect
of the image, its color, the substrate
it is printed on, and even allows the
artist to own and operate the printer
itself. Therefore, Giclee style prints can
technically be called “prints”, as the
artist has a hand in actual production.
Monoprinting is a form of printmaking
that has images or lines that cannot be
exactly reproduced, therefore, each
production will be one of a kind. There
are many techniques of mono printing,
including
collage,
hand-painted
additions (after the print is produced),
and a form of tracing by which thick
ink is laid down on a table, paper is
placed on top and is then drawn on,
transferring the ink onto the paper. They
can also be made by altering the type,
color and pressure of the ink used to
create different prints. Monoprints are
known as the most “painterly” method
among the printmaking techniques. It
is regarded as a non-editionable kind
of print... a printed painting. Monoprints
are collected due to their originality,
spontaneity and the combination of
printmaking, painting and drawing
mediums. Some old master prints,
usually
called
monotypes,
like
etchings by Rembrandt with individual
manipulation of ink as “surface tone”,
or hand-painted etchings by Degas
might be classifiable as monoprints.
You may often see “S/N Ltd Ed” in
a description for a print or lithograph.
What this means is that the production
is controlled, or limited, by the artist and
each print is signed and numbered. This
is artist’s “promise” that no more will
be produced from the original artwork.
Be careful in that the print is sold and
represented by the artist. Fraudulent
copies, or “knock-offs”, are becoming
term, it is being lazy and lacking the
talent or creativity to produce original
art.
The August Art Scene
ArtWalk is Galveston’s free evening
in celebration of the visual arts, which
happens on Saturdays approximately
eight times a year. Galleries, restaurants
and other businesses open their doors
to host artists from all over the world and
welcome visitors. Most locations are
within walking distance in Galveston’s
charming Historic Downtown District.
For more than 20 years, the Galveston
Arts Center has organized ArtWalk to
promote the visual arts, offer alternative
spaces to see and learn about art and
to welcome visitors and residents to the
island’s open art community. Upcoming
ArtWalk dates are August 25th, October
13th and November 24th.
Simply Art Gallery 2425 Strand
(corner of 25th and Strand) reflects the
unconventional and eclectic spirit that
is Galveston. It is a gallery designed
by, and for, artists. The welcoming
gallery continually changes exhibitions
of over 80 artists, which include
international, nationally published
as well as talented emerging artists.
This extensive collection presents the
collector a wide range of genres, from
contemporary to the classics, and an
extensive variety of styles and price
ranges. From Fine Art, Photography,
Pottery, Glass, Sculpture, Jewelry
Design and Silversmith, the gallery is
guaranteed to meet the interest of a
broad general audience. All hanging
work is original, however, the gallery
does offer matted, ready to frame
prints and originals of represented
artists. Resident artists include original
works by major names such as Kermit
Eisenhut, Charles Criner, Bill Meek,
Liz Spencer, John Mercado... and
many more. Open Tuesday through
Thursday, 10am to 5:30 pm, Friday and
Saturday, 10:30am to 6:30pm. Closed
Sunday and Monday. 409.762.4700.
simplyartgallery.com.
Featured Artists for the month of
August:
Robin Collins brings her background
of graphic design into a perfect balance
with her watercolor paintings. Brilliant
landscapes and marine subject matter
engages the viewer immediately.
LeeAnn Gorman focuses on the
landscape format with a brilliant
balance of color, form and calming
strength. Her bold design and settings
are derived from imaginary places, yet
settings that we can instantly associate
with. Rona Lesser is probably one of
the finest live study figural artists I have
met in many years. Her representational
watercolors express emotion and form
with surprising tranquility. The realistic
landscapes and settings of pastel
artist Elaine Monnig draw upon a
rich store of memories. Her amazing
ability to capture the perfect sundown
and shadows never fail to amaze,
especially with a medium as difficult
as pastel. Lynn Brown is a master of
fine art photography. His visions are
focused on the ordinary, and transform
them instantly to the extraordinary.
Each photograph is timed perfectly
using the experiences Mother Nature
provides each day.
The Galveston Arts Center,
2127 Strand, presents The Art Guys:
Cloud Cuckoo Land, a twenty-five
year survey of the drawings, proposals,
failed schemes, and pipe dreams of
the Houston artist team of Michael
Galbreath and Jack Massing who
work collaboratively under the name
The Art Guys. An opening reception
will be hosted during ArtWalk, August
25th from 6 to 9 pm.
The show features proposals for work
that did, did not, and sometimes just
could not come to fruition. The exhibition
will include drawings, maquettes,
ephemera, and documentation. Several
works from the series 101 of the World’s
Leslie Gallery, 2413 Mechanic.
What do Sandra Bradley, Cheryl
Henry,
Mardi
Mitchell,
Bets
Anderson, Kay Sandor, Suzanne
Peterson, Margaret Canavan, Missy
Livingood, David Chinkes, Lisa
Nash, Mary Dewalli, Lori DelBuono,
Nicole Bolinger, Sandra Williams
and Dune Tenser have in common? A.
They’re Salli Anderson’s students, and
this is their show.
Expect to see realistic interpretations
of Galveston’s snow, still lifes, animals,
birds, flowers, architecture, landscapes
and people, and a display of Andersonguided jewelry. Artists will be present,
of course. Anderson will begin new
student classes this fall in her new
studio. Other artists at Leslie Gallery,
2006 & 2007 Best Gallery in Galveston
County, are Anthony Blackman, Lee
Runion, Mike Tyler, Dorothy Broaddus,
and Earl Staley.
Galveston Gallery, 1825
Rosenberg (25th St and Ave P),
presents Ruthe Wilson: New Work.
Greatest Sculpture Proposals will be
on view, including The Big Sneeze
(Study), 1991, and Suitcase Wheel
(Study, 1989. A letter from the billboard
commissioned by Absolut Vodka will be
on display from Absolutely 1,000 Coats
of Paint, 1998-99. The project evolved
over a nine-month period as The Art
Guys applied approximately 3 coats
of paint a day to the three-dimensional
letters and bottle on a billboard on
display in Houston’s Galleria area.
The exhibition will also include studies
from Travel Light, 2004, the public
art project chosen by Art in America
magazine as one of the 21 best public
art projects of 2005. Permanently
installed in the international baggage
From the whimsical to the sublime,
seascape to still-life, her work radiates
through a dream-like consciousness.
Wilson employs oils, watercolors,
crayon, inks and pencil to derive
her subjects into the most elemental
terms.
Galveston Gallery is open Monday
through Saturday, 10am to 6pm.
409.763.6116 for more information.
Design Works, 2119 Post Office.
“A Summer Selection of Gallery Artists”
continues at the Gallery at Design
Works in Historic Downtown Galveston.
This multi-person show allows Design
Works patrons to view some of the
wide variety of styles, mediums and
artists represented by the gallery.
The current exhibition features the
works of Antje Reitsche of Houston,
Kamila Szczesna of Galveston, and
Rene Wiley of Galveston. Also included
in the show are two additional artists,
whose work are seemingly diverse
and disparate: Steven MacLeod
Gilbert and Larry Spaid. Both artists
employed the distraction of travel to
explore themes of grief and loss.
Steven MacLeod Gilbert, a Houstonbased photographer, captures a
universal moment in his body of work
entitled “A Mountain of Memory”.
Through his camera lens, Gilbert has
reduced each of his images of travel
through the White Mountains of New
Hampshire to spare and abstract
studies of stoicism in form. Larry Spaid,
of Philadelphia, creates works that are
subtly textured... minimal drawings in oil
pastel on paper. This series of studies
is based on a recent sabbatical to
Vietnam and Cambodia, where he had
previously been deployed during the
Vietnam War. Spaid creates surfaces
Cont. “Art Scene” pg 35
claim area of Terminal E at Houston’s
Bush Intercontinental Airport, the work
is comprised of 360 cast translucent
suitcases assembled into a halo and
illuminated with computer controlled
L.E.D. lights. Buchanan Gallery,
220 25th Street (corner 25th and
Mechanic).
Bill Frazier and Diane Arnold. An
exhibition of collage on paper and
oil sticks o copper by these Houston
artists who also happen to be husband
and wife.
Buchanan’s exhibitions may be viewed
on her website, buchanangallery.com,
or telephone 409.763.8683 for more
information.
Wine
W
NE u!
n
me
ope
7 da n
a w ys
eek
catering available
1728 45th Street
Galveston Island
Ph 409.763.0200 - Fax 409.763.0201
Conversation JEANNE
RACHAL
Like the lyrics “Red, red wine you
make me feel so fine”, doctors are
now concurring with song writer
Neil Diamond, as medical research
continues to prove that wine has
many health benefits.  Neil Diamond
wrote the recorded “Red, red wine” on
his 1967 album Just for You.  Neil’s
rendition of the song peaked at #62 on
American charts in April of 1968.  The
lyrics extol wine for its ability to help
you forget your problems.  Scientific
research has found that a moderate
steady intake of wine can help prevent
health problems.
Neil Diamond’s song was repeatedly
recorded by several different artists
over the years.  The British group UB40
recorded “Red, red wine” on their 1983
album Labour of Love.  In 1988 it was
reissued as a longer version with a rap
by Terance “Astro” Wilson, and finally
hit #1 on the charts.  It is reported
that the group got it name from the
letters and numbers of the form issued
to unemployed people in Britain so
they may receive health benefits
(Unemployed Benefits form 40). 
Medical researchers continue to issue
studies showing the health benefits of
wine in one form or another.A baffling
study was released in the mid 1990’s
about the “French Paradox”.  This
study was launched to determine why
French people with diets so high in
cheese fats were not suffering from
more heart attacks?   The findings? 
Their moderate and steady intake
of wine was illogically beating or
preventing health issues.  These facts
prompted tons of research that now
overwhelmingly support the drinking of
wine for good health. 
Health Benefits:
*Red grape skins have an anti-aging
effect (Harvard Medical School In
Boston, 2004) 
*Antioxidants in white wine improve
lung function (American Thoracic
Society, 2002)
*Coronary heart disease reduced
(University of California, Davis, 1995) 
*Ulcer-causing bacteria
reduced (American Journal of
Gastroenterology, 2003) 
*Cancer cells killed by protein in red
grape skins (University of Virginia
Health System, 2004) 
*Arteries kept clean by polyphenols
in red grape skins (William Harvey
Research Institute, 2002) 
*Decreased ovarian cancer risk (The
Queensland Institute of Medical
Research in Australia, 2004) 
*Stronger bones (Twin Research
and Genetic Epidemiology Unit, St.
Thomas’s Hospital in London, 2004) 
*Lower risk of stroke (Centers of
Disease Control and Prevention,
2001) 
*Lower risk of heart attack for men
with high blood pressure (Worcester
Medical Center in Massachusetts,
2004) 
Isn’t it wonderful to discover that
the wine you enjoy can in reality help
contribute to a healthier body?  Just
like Neil Diamond’s album Just for
you, the folks at D’Vine Wine on the
Strand can help custom craft a wine
just for you.  Stop by the winery at 2301
Strand, and let them explain how they
can make a batch of wine to suit your
taste preferences, and get you on the
road to a healthier you.  
Windstorm
Roofing and Remodeling
COMMERCIAL AND RESIDENTIAL
FREE ESTIMATES
409-765-4322
2111 Post Office
409.765.TAPA
Spanish Tapas Restaurant & Bar
Weekly Events
Wed
Tango class @ 7pm
Thu
Happy Hr all nite with $4 tapas / $3 calls
Fri & Sat
Galveston’s best venue for Live Jazz starting @ 8pm
Wed & Thur
Fri & Sat
5pm – midnight
5pm – 2am
Kitchen serving late
“DINING” Cont.
“We are from Houston, said
Barbara McLendon, “The seafood
crepes here are just great”.
Seaside Bistro, is located
at 11128 FM 3005, Galveston, Texas
77554 (409) 744-1447
Central Island Brunch:
Brunch at Pic’s on 45th
‘ain’t your mom’s bacon and eggs”
– unless of course your mom is a
trained gourmet chef. In this case,
she’d have to compete with Pic’s
Executive Chef and Proprietor,
William W. Pickavance, III a graduate
of the prestigious Culinary Institute of
America!
Executive Chef Pickavance is a
graduate of the Culinary Institute of
America
Pic’s on 45th, unlike our
other brunch spots is the kind of
place where you “dine in style”.
The décor is pure, upscale big city.
Perfectly appointed white tablecloths,
decoratively folded and precisely
placed cloth napkins, sparkling wine
glasses and deco period music
playing in the background.
The food here instantly
displays the pedigree of the Chef.
Start off with, expertly spiced , blue
Crab Cakes perched on a crunchy,
fresh Corn Ragout laced with Tasso
Ham– now we’re talking appetizer!
Other breakfast fare includes French
Toast smothered in Custard, Bayou
Eggs Benedict, Scrambled Eggs with
Chantrelle Mushrooms and Chevre
Cheese and more.
However, peeking at the rest
of this truly gourmet menu may have
been one of the best parts of the Pic’s
experience. Hold on a second – I’m
going to shamelessly name drop:
Crispy Organic Duck Comfit resting
on Roasted Beet and Granny Smith
Apple Pecan Salad; Chilled Ahi Tuna
Martini Stirred with Ceviche Liquor;
Pan Roasted Pork Medallion over
Black-Eyed Pea Ragout, Granny
Smith Apple Horseradish Slaw and
Texas Riesling Demi-Glace; and
Pecan Laced Tuille Basket filled with
Seasonal Berries and Crème Anglais.
Feeling confused and hungry?
Good! End your confusion by dining at
Pic’s on 45th.
Pic’s on 45th , www.
picson45th.com, located on 1728 45th
Street, Galveston, TX 77550, (409)
763-763-0200, Fax: (409) 763-0201
All Brunched Out!
Of course, no matter where
you live or roam on Galveston
Island, all of these fine eateries
serve “regular” breakfast. Moreover,
because it’s brunch their hours which
start early and end by 2:00 p.m., let
family members choose sandwiches
and lunch entrees as well. In any
event, it’s the perfect way to start the
weekend. Enjoy!
Marsha Wilson Rappaport is a local
author and freelance writer.
“Feel” Cont.
ophies and gift certificates, and some
of the proceeds go to charities. The
Mullet are thrown over and over so go
for seagull sushi. You can check out all
the facts at florabama.com
BOATING TIP FOR THE MONTH:
Keep your decks clear. The first thing
you should do after leaving the slip or
launching ramp is walk around your
vessel and pull all fenders inboard. How
you stow them is a matter of preference,
but don’t leave them over the side.
They can be torn away by waves and
it looks tacky and unskipperlike. Also
make sure no lines are dragging, and
are coiled and stowed where no one
will trip over them. A clean deck is a
safe deck and looks shipshape.
I welcome boating stories, questions,
comments, and am available for private
instruction on your vessel. You may
contact me at; [email protected] or
call 409)692-1256
Richard Booth has been a licensed
yacht broker, marina designer, marine
consultant, radio talk show host, boating
columnist, and yachting instructor.
“Serpent” Cont.
3. Do the restaurant owners claim
that they taste “just like chicken”?
I think that every concerned
American should telephone federal
authorities at random until we get
answers to these and other questions.
I also think that for the time being we
should all be extremely cautious when
we leave our homes. Remember: “a
Spotsylvania County snake” is out
there somewhere.
Visit Our
Website
www.GalvestonParrot.com
Deathbed Honesty
A man is lying on his deathbed. His
wife sits at his bedside holding his
hand and praying silently. He looks up
and says weakly, “There’s something I
must confess, my dear.”
“There’s no need to,” she replies.
“No,” he insists, “I want to die in
peace. I slept with your sister, your
best friend, her best friend, and your
mother.”
“I know,” she replies. “Now just be still
and let the poison work.”
Banged Up Pirate
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar,
and the talk turns to their adventures.
The seaman notes that the pirate has
a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
“How did you end up with the peg
leg?” he asks. The pirate replies, “I
was swept overboard into a school of
sharks. As my men were pulling me
out, a shark bit my leg off.” “Wow!”
says the seaman. “What about your
hook?” “Well,” answers the pirate, “we
were boarding a ship when one of the
enemy hacked off my hand.”
“Incredible!” says the seaman.
“How’d you get the eye patch?” “A
seagull crapped in my eye,” the pirate
replies. “You lost your eye to a seagull
dropping?” the seaman asks. “Well,”
says the pirate, “it was my first day
with the hook.”
Evaluating employees
RE: Quotes Taken from actual
performance evaluations:
“Since my last report, this employee
has reached rock bottom and has
started to dig.”
“His men would follow him anywhere,
but only out of morbid curiosity.”
“I would not allow this employee to
breed.”
“This associate is really not so much
of a has-been, but more of a definitely
won’t be.”
“Works well when under constant
supervision and cornered like a rat in
a trap.”
“When she opens her mouth, it seems
that this is only to change whichever
foot was previously in there.”
“He would be out of his depth in a
parking lot puddle.”
“This young lady has delusions of
adequacy.”
“He sets low personal standards and
then consistently fails to achieve
them.”
“This employee should go far - and
the sooner he starts, the better.”
“This employee is depriving a village
somewhere of an idiot.”
“LIVE” Cont.
THE LINE UP Wild Wing Cafe 10:00 pm-2:00
am
Sunday 26 August
pm
MARC TWYMAN
SCOTT CHRISTOPHER Captain Jack’s Beach
Bar 3-7 pm
TBA Ju-Ju Hangout 3-7 pm
THE SKIP DEVLIN BAND The Spot 3-7 pm
TBA Nash’s Bait Camp 4-8 pm
TBA Float 4-8 pm
OPEN MIC JAM with
pm-1:00 am
Monday 27 August
8:00 pm-12:00 am
Tuesday 28 August
The San Luis Resort
 7-11 pm
Wednesday 29 August
8:00 pm-12:00 am
Thursday 30 August
6-9 pm
8:00 pm-12:00 am
am
OPEN MIC JAM with
pm-1:00 am
Friday 31 August
ENDLESS SUMMER BASH Tiki Beach Bar,
Port Bolivar All Day
The Tremont 5-7 pm
REVOLUTION + SATISFACTION Moody
Gardens 8:00-9:30 pm
ROBERT EARL KEEN The Grand Opera House
8 pm-??
pm-12:00 am
SCOTT McGILL Ship’s Wheel, Port Bolivar 9:00
pm-1:00 am
pm-1:00 am
am
TBA Poor Michael’s 9:00 pm-1:00 am
NIGHT ENERGY  Club 21 9:30 pm-1:30 am
PRIME TIME B. Jigger’s 9:30 pm-1:30 am
LAWST DOGZ Wild Wing Cafe 10:00 pm-2:00
am
Parrot Puzzles
MONTHLY SUDOKU
ANSWERS TO THIS MONTH’S PUZZLES ARE ON PAGE 39
August
3rd Double Ought
4th Down to Earth
10th & 11th The Line Up
17th & 18th Pee-Wee
Bowen and the Moonlighters
24th Al Casey and the
BB’s
25th Johnny LaBlanc and
the Too Loose Band
31st Nite Energy
Ron Paul: In the
Know
If you have recently made travel
arrangements or watched the news
regarding traveling abroad, you may
be aware of the growing number of
passports being issued.
Why are passports required?
U.S. citizens who wish to travel to and
from the United States by air are now
required to obtain a passport before
doing so. The new law, the Western
Hemisphere Travel Initiative, took effect
on Jan. 23, 2007. The 9/11 Commission
and U.S. Congress urged strengthening
travel documents to prevent the entry
of terrorists across our borders, reduce
the use of fraudulent documents and
speed up entry procedures.
Do I need my passport if I want to
take a cruise?
The Department of State has said
that as early as January 2008, those
traveling by land and sea ports will be
required to have a passport. However,
the department is looking at trying to
postpone those requirements because
the demand for U.S. passports is at an
all-time high.
Do I need my passport if I am
traveling to Mexico, Canada or the
Caribbean?
The U.S. Departments of State and
Homeland Security announced on June
8 that U.S. citizens traveling to Canada,
Mexico, Bermuda or countries in the
Caribbean region, who have applied
for, but not yet received passports, can
re-enter the United States by air.  This
accommodation does not mean that
Americans are exempt from meeting the
entry requirements of Canada, Mexico,
Bermuda or countries in the Caribbean
region. Entry requirements for those
countries remain in effect.  Americans
traveling to those countries must verify
the specific entry requirements for that
country before departure.  To access
entry requirements for all countries,
see the Consular Information Sheets.
If you are traveling to the
Caribbean, Mexico or Canada, but
have not yet received your passport,
you can present a governmentissued photo identification card and
an official proof of application from
the U.S. Department of State.
How many passports are issued?
In 2006, the State Department issued
12.1 million passports. At the rate it’s
going now, it will issue 17.5 million
passports in 2007. Today, approximately
78 million Americans, which is just over
a quarter of the population, have a
passport.
How long will it take to obtain my
passport?
The new law requiring passports has
lead to an increase in wait times for
such passports. The average number
of weeks for a passport to be issued is
10-12 weeks. If you request and pay
for expedited service with overnight
delivery for sending in your application
and receiving your passport, then the
average wait time is 2-3 weeks.
The State Department and
Congressman Paul, urge all travelers
to apply early for a passport. It is best
to have your passport in hand before
making travel arrangements. This
helps to ensure that you will not lose
money and time from not being able to
make a trip due to no passport.
How do I check the status of my
passport application?
If you are traveling within two weeks
or need your passport in order to get
a visa within the next 2 weeks, please
see the National Passport Information
Center  web site to check the status
of your application online. Or, you can
call the center at 1-877-487-2778 for
assistance. Please do not call unless
you have immediate travel needs.
If you have already applied, but will
not need your passport within the next
two weeks, then there should be no
need to contact the National Passport
Information Center. You can check
the status of your application online. 
Currently, it is taking 7-10 days for
applications to be tracked online, less
if you paid for expedited service and
sent your application via overnight
delivery.   Please allow that much
time before contacting the National
Passport Information Center to check
on your application.
In order to track your passport, you
will need to enter in your social security
number, date of birth as well as your
name. Individuals will no longer be
able to obtain a status check on
their application using only a locator
number.
What if I am traveling within the next
two weeks and I cannot get a hold of
the National Passport Information
Center by phone or online?
Congressman Paul’s office will be
happy to assist with expedite requests.
Please do not contact us unless your
Cont. “Know” pg 35
“Crusty” Cont.
The nurse told me to put on a new
one every six hours and now I’m
running out of places to put it!” I had
him quickly undress and discovered
what I hoped I wouldn’t see.
 
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on
his body!
 
Now, the instructions include removal
of the old patch before applying a new
one.
 
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair,
Norfolk, VA
 
5. While acquainting myself with a
new elderly patient, I asked, “How
long have you been bedridden?”
After a look of complete confusion she
answered...
“Why, not for about twenty years when my husband was alive.”
 
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson,
Corvallis, OR
 
6. I was caring for a woman and
asked, “So how’s your breakfast this
morning?” “It’s very good, except for
the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get
used to the taste” the patient replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and the
woman produced a foil packet labeled
“KY Jelly.”
 
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf,
Detroit, MI
 
7. A nurse was on duty in the
Emergency Room, when a young
woman with purple hair styled into
a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a
variety of tattoos, and wearing strange
clothing, entered. It was quickly
determined that the patient had acute
appendicitis, so she was scheduled
for immediate surgery. When she was
completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic
hair had been dyed green, and above
it there was a tattoo that read, “Keep
off the grass.”
 
Once the surgery was completed, the
surgeon wrote a short note on the
patient’s dressing, which said, “Sorry,
had to mow the lawn.”
 
Submitted by RN no name
 
AND FINALLY!!!................
 
8. As a new, young MD doing
his residency in OB, I was quite
embarrassed when performing
female pelvic exams. To cover my
embarrassment I had unconsciously
formed a habit of whistling softly. 
Cont. “Crusty” pg 36
CIL-LY CHAIR
MAKER HIRED
BY IKEA
Mortan Phat,
Medium Business
Correspondent
IKEA announced Thursday it
will hire the ultra-uber Emo Umbeler
Cil to design a new line of furniture.
Many in the home décor business
are stunned by this alliance as Cil
previously lambasted large corporate
endeavors in interior design.
“We all remember the day
when Cil said corporations and the devil
both overdo the red thing,” recalled Yve
Lme, social climber. “And now to see a
union like this, well, it’s shocking to say
the least.”
Cil plans on announcing his
new alliance with the introduction of his
furniture line featuring the Cil Chair—
the world’s first chair to accommodate
standing people.
“I envision tapping into a whole
new market with this product,” said Cil.
In addition, the National Health
Organization labeled the Cil Chair as
product of the decade for its spine
soothing posture. “Since the chair
keeps the spine displacement equal
with those standing or even leaning
against a wall, like at a junior prom,
there is very little bendage,” said Doctor
Harry Tern.
Although Cil is vocal about the
“glorious possibilities of this corporate
sell-out,” IKEA spokesman remained
tight lipped only saying, “It’s hard to tell
if Cil is serious or just screwing with us.”
The Cil Chair will be made available in
the 2009 Summer catalogue, once he
settles his injury suit for the Cil toaster
oven.
Cil’s great grandfather, Jebadiah
Cil, experimented with chairs to
accommodate leaning people, but
his endeavors were cut short by the
War of 1813, also known as the war
of 1812 continued. (photo by long
ago dead guy)
“Know” Cont.
travel date is two weeks or less away.
In order to assist, we will need you to fill
out a Privacy Act form which will allow
us to contact the National Passport
Center on your behalf. We are only
allowed to assist those who live within
Congressional District 14, due to the
U.S. House of Representatives Ethics
Rules. However, if you need assistance,
we recommend that you contact your
local congressional representative. You
can find out who your representative is
by logging onto www.house.gov.
If you live within congressional district
14, please contact Congressman Paul’s
Galveston office at (409) 766-7013,
the Victoria office at (361) 576-1231 or
the Lake Jackson office at (979) 2850231.
What is being done to alleviate
problems in obtaining passports?
To accommodate for the increasing
number of passport applications,
170 new government and contract
employees began working in March and
April for the State Department. And, 132
new employees joined the department
in May and June.  Recruiting continues
at agencies around the country. In
addition, a new passport processing
center began operation in Hot Springs
in late March and has printed more
than 80,000 passports. All 18 passport
agencies around the country are
working 7-day weeks and at least two
shifts.
In addition, Congressman Paul has
cosponsored a bill to reimburse travelers
who lost money due to the State
Department’s failed implementation of
new passport rules. HR 2745 instructs
the Secretary of State to reimburse
travelers’ passport processing fees,
if passports were not processed in
a timely fashion, and provable costs
associated with missed or cancelled
travel. It also requires the secretaries
to certify to Congress, before enacting
the sea/land phase of WHTI rules, that
they can be implemented with minimal
disruption to travelers.
What if I paid for expedited
service, but my passport was not
available in time for my planned
travel?
Customers should submit a written
request with your passport number,
name, date and place of birth,
approximate date you applied for
your passport and date passport was
received. Your mailing address and
phone number should also be included.
The State Department cannot refund
passport application and executions
fees or compensate applications for
missed travel.
What if I would like more information
on passport requirements?
All information contained herein was
obtained from the U.S. Department
of State. Please log onto www.travel.
state.gov for up to date information on
passport changes.
*******************************************
Ron Paul began serving in Congress
during the late 1970s and early 1980s.
In 1984, he voluntarily relinquished
his House seat and returned to his
medical practice as a specialist in
obstetrics/gynecology. He returned
to Congress in 1997 to represent the
14th Congressional district of Texas.
He serves on the House Financial
Services Committee, the Foreign Affairs
committee, and the Joint Economic
Committee. For more information
on Ron Paul and how he voted on a
particular piece of legislation, please
go to http://www.house.gov/paul/.
VOTED “BEST COFFEE”
6 YEARS IN A ROW!
Visit Our
Website
“Art Scene” Cont.
that are lineal as well as spacial, using
loosely washed fields overlaid with
calculated linear loops.
The Gallery at Design Works is
open Tuesday through Saturday,
11am to 7pm, and Sunday, 11am to
5pm. Monday and Tuesday, closed or
by appointment. The Gallery will be
open late every Thursday, Friday and
Saturday night through Labor Day
weekend. 409.766.7599.
The Galveston Art League,
2117 Post Office, announced a special
showing of the Dr. and Mrs. Merlin
McGivney Purchase Awards. The
awards are from the bequest from
the late Dr. McGivney and the art
purchases have gone to the Rosenberg
Library collection. Over the years, 19
works have been selected to receive
the prestigious cash award.
The outstanding collection will open
to the public on August 2nd, and
continue through September 2nd. This
is the first time that the public will have
an opportunity to view this diverse and
unique collection of work in a gallery
setting. A show reception is planned
for August 11th from 6 to 9 P.M. An
added feature at the Gallery will be
the opportunity for visitors to view the
entries for the 2008 Mardi Gras poster
competition.
Registration for the Fall Open Juried
Competition will be September 6, 7,
and 8th. Registration forms will be
available at the Gallery or on line at the
Art League’s website.
The League Gallery is open ThursdaySunday, 12 to 5 pm. For more
information, call 409.621.1008 or visit
galvestonartleague.com.
Yes. Parrotize me each month with The Parrot! I understand that
the $45 I’ve enclosed is a small price to pay to get America’s most
unique newspaper. Please send to:
NEW INVENTORY - REMOTE CONTROLLED CARS!
“Crusty” Cont.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I
was performing this exam suddenly
burst out laughing and further
embarrassing me. I looked up from
my work and sheepishly said, “I’m
sorry. Was I tickling you?” She replied,
“No doctor, but the song you were
whistling was, “I wish I was an Oscar
Meyer Wiener”.
 
Dr. Wouldn’t submit his name
UNLEASH YOUR
Creative Expression for Adults
at The Galveston Arts Center,
2127 Strand.
Wild Heart Art Classes awaken your sense
of freedom, passion and aliveness!
Artists and artists at heart expand and
explore your creativity. No previous art
experience or training is necessary.
August 18, 2007
Four guys were at deer camp. They
had to bunk two to a room. No one
wanted to room with Daryl because he
snored so badly. They decided it
wasn’t fair to make one of them stay
with him the whole time, so they voted
to take
turns.
  The first guy slept with Daryl and
comes to breakfast the next
morning with his hair a mess and his
eyes all bloodshot. The other two said,
“Man, what happened to you?” He
said, “Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat
up
and watched him all night.”
The next night it was the second
guy’s turn. In the morning, same
thing--hair all standing up, eyes all
bloodshot. The other two said,
“Man, what happened to you? You
Cont. “Crusty” pg 48
Collage, Gratitude and Creative Expression
Experience the benefits and magic of creating from gratitude.
September 28,29, & 30, 2007
A Weekend of Process Painting
Gather your friends for a weekend of exploring your
creativity. Acquaint yourself with your abundant innate
creativity as you break free of creative blocks
and feel the joy of self-expression.
October 27, 2007
Exploring Creativity through Spontaneous Writing & Collage
November 17, 2007
A Day of Wild Heart Assemblage
Wild Heart Art Assemblage for process uses everyday
objects as art materials.
December 15, 2007
A Day of Wild Heart Painting
to benefit The Happy Home Orphanage
and the Galveston Arts Center.
Members of The Galveston Arts Center
receive 10% tuition discount.
CREATIVITY FOR THE FUN OF IT!
For more information
and to register, visit
www.wildheartart.com,
call Cherie Ray at 832.545.8488
or 832.618.1416
TIKI
I
S
L
331 B Jones Lake Road A
Tiki Island, TX
N
D
Office 409.935.2699 Fax 409.935.3625
[email protected]
www.pelicanbayfurniture.com
Open:
Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday 10am-5pm
Sunday 1pm-5pm
Closed Tuesday and Wednesday
SHER
BAILEY
THE BUBBLES TICKLE MY NOSE
I can’t see without my glasses.
But, because I’m both incredibly vain
and hopelessly optimistic about a
miraculously spontaneous eye-healing,
I try every day to see without them anyway.
Not wearing my glasses when I am
supposed to…which is every single
minute of every single day…sometimes
leads
to
a
misunderstanding.
For example, as I shopped for the
exciting new brand of tampon I’d
seen in an advertisement, I was
disappointed when a helpful Wal-Mart
associate explained that as far as she
knew, there was no such thing as a
carbonated feminine hygiene product.
Upon further research and with my
spectacles on my eyes this time, I found
the word cardboard does indeed have
some letters in common with carbonated.
Despite the present unavailability
of this effervescent merchandise, I
remain convinced that the carbonation
of products not routinely prone to
bubble and fizz would add much
needed excitement to a boring
group of manufacturers whose last
big development involved adding
wings to something that will never fly.
Word to your mother, Madison Avenue.
One place I can never indulge my
vanity though is when I am behind the
wheel of a car. Not wearing glasses
when I drive is no longer an option for
me as I have dangerously swerved to
miss one too many a phantom moose,
gorilla in a matching dress and Easter
bonnet, or giant pre-historic pterodactyl.
In addition to the nuisance of having
to balance specs on my nose (which
has been medically proven to be way
too small for my face), the taking
them off part is nothing nice either.
Something mysterious happens to
my eyes when I’m wearing glasses
that causes them to go all crazy
immediately upon removing my
corrective, yet fashionable, eye wear.
I may be looking right at you from
behind the lenses, but the moment I lay
them on the table, my eyes start rolling
around in their sockets like spinning
marbles. I look like a cartoon character
that has been bonked in the head so
hard my eyeballs were knocked loose.
I know what you’re thinking. Why not
get me some of that fancy eye surgery
that fixes all vision wrongs, right?
Well according to my eye guy, I am
not a candidate for the procedure. But
even if I were, there is no amount of
valium that could calm me to the point of
allowing someone to poke me in the eye.
Even if I were to go south of the
border and buy myself some industrial
strength, un-tested and wholly illegal
mind-numbing drugs, I feel reasonably
certain that about the time a doctor
were to make a move toward my eye
ball with something sharp, I would
make a move toward his groin area
with something called my knee.
In closing let me say that I sincerely
apologize for the use of the words
tampon and feminine hygiene here
today. While I try to always obey the
law of pretending women are magic
and babies come from a big bird who
sells pickles on the side, sometimes I
accidentally let one slip. I don’t have
my glasses on right now anyway, so
for all I know I wrote about pompons
or Grey Poupon or some girl named
Tammy.
Interesting
History
In George Washington’s days, there
were no cameras.  One’s image was
either sculpted or painted.  Some
paintings of George Washington
showed him standing behind a desk
with one arm behind his back while
others showed both legs and both arms. 
Prices charged by painters were not
based on how many people were to be
painted, but by how many limbs were to
be painted. Arms and legs are “limbs,”
therefore painting them would cost the
buyer more. Hence the expression,
“Okay, but it’ll cost you an arm and a leg.”
As incredible as it sounds, men and
women took baths only twice a year
(May and October)!  Women kept their
hair covered, while men shaved their
heads (because of lice and bugs) and
wore wigs  Wealthy men could afford
good wigs made from wool.  They
couldn’t wash the wigs, so to clean them
they would carve out a loaf of bread, put
the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30
minutes.  The heat would make the wig
big and fluffy, hence the term “big wig.” 
Today we often use the term “here
comes the Big Wig” because someone
appears to be or is powerful and wealthy.
In the late 1700s, many houses
consisted of a large room with only
one chair.  Commonly, a long wide
board folded down from the wall, and
was used for dining.  The “head of
Cont. “Interesting” pg 43
Wild Duck Gumbo
Shrimp and Sausage Jambalaya
Red Beans and Rice W/ Sausage
Chicken Fried Steak
Chicken Fried Chicken
Smothered Chopped Steak
Puzzle Answers
DWAYNE
JONES
Executive Director, Galveston
Historical Foundation
GHF Offers Education, Exhibits, Excursions and
Antiques in August
Stewart Road Family Health
Now Open
We’re here for the Health of Your Family
Please join us for our
Grand Opening Reception and
Chamber of Commerce Ribbon Cutting Ceremony
Tuesday, August 14th 5:30 p.m.
For more information please call us at:
(409) 744-4030
Visit us at: www.utmb.edu/stewartroadclinic
6710 Stewart Road, Suite 100
Galveston, Texas 77551
Phone (409) 744-4030 • Fax (409) 740-4187
We accept most insurance plans as well as MasterCard and Visa. Now accepting TRICARE™
Parrot_august.indd 1
7/16/2007 2:26:11 PM
The last month of summer 2007 is
upon us and the island is still teeming
with events and opportunities for
visitors. I just want to highlight a few
activities associated with Galveston
Historical Foundation (GHF).
At the Texas Seaport Museum
(Harborside Drive between 21st and
22nd Streets), annual seamanship
training is underway on Saturday
afternoons. Visitors (and prospective
volunteer crew members) may drop
by the museum and ELISSA to tour
and observe the volunteers in training.
Watching the crew hoist the sails and
manage the 1877 barque is fascinating.
While there, visitors can check out the
winners of the maritime “Art on the Spot”
art contest that was held Saturday,
July 14. At that contest, more than 120
artists from across Texas gathered to
paint or sketch what they could see
from Pier 22 during a five-hour openair art competition. The prize winners
will be on display in the Texas Seaport
Museum Theater through October 31.
In August, as throughout the year,
island visitors can take a tour of
Galveston Bay on one of our Historic
Harbor Tours. These special tours
highlight the natural and historic
environment of the bay that makes for
a special place to live and visit. Visitors
can still see the wayward Canadian
goose that got stranded from his flock;
they can watch the activity of a busy
port including the giant cruise ships as
they prepare to sail. Galveston Harbor
Tours board at Pier 22 next to the
ELISSA. Tickets may be purchased at
the Texas Seaport Museum retail shop
on Pier 22.
The Seagull II is the sea craft for Harbor
Tours, but she also is the transportation
for our rapidly developing educational
tours. BP of Texas City is providing
special funding to bring the classroom to
the bay. In the spring and summer, GHF
educators offered several seminars for
teachers from Houston and Galveston
area schools. These day-long sessions
introduced the teachers to the natural
life in the bay and provided classroom
materials to teach environmental
awareness and science education.
This fall the teachers will be scheduling
their classes to come to Galveston and
board Seagull II for more adventures.
It’s the real thing; being up close to
the bay life enables students to much
more fully understand their everyday
classroom science lessons. We look
forward to many more programs that
use the Seagull II for educational
purposes. Education and preservation
are concomitant goals, after all, and
both are central to GHF’s mission.
Finally, GHF offers it annual Genteel
Junque sale on August 25 at the Garten
Verein pavilion in Kempner Park. This
historic setting will be the center of
an antique and collectible sale that
features this year a stock of antique
furnishings from a Bed and Breadfast
that just closed its doors along with 16
boxes of Big Band albums. The public
is invited to donate household items of
any type (except clothing) to the Genteel
Junque Sale. Pick-up is available upon
request. A preview party and sale will be
held Friday, August 24, from 5:30 p.m.
to 7:30 p.m., $13 for GHF members;
$15 for nonmembers. Memberships
will be for sale at the door. The regular
sale will be held Saturday, August 25,
from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m., free and open to
the public. Proceeds of the sale go to
support the ongoing preservation of the
1839 Samuel May Williams House.
For more information about any of
these events or activities, call 409-7657834 or check out our web site at www.
galvestonhistory.org.
“Interesting” Cont.
rolling about the deck?  The best
storage method devised was a squarebased pyramid with one ball on top,
the household” always sat in the chair
resting on four resting on nine, which
while everyone else ate sitting on the
rested on sixteen.  Thus, a supply of
floor.  Occasionally a guest, who was
30 cannon balls could be stacked in
usually a man, would be invited to
a small area right next to the cannon. 
sit in this chair during a meal.  To sit
There was only one problem...how to
in the chair meant you were important
prevent the bottom layer from sliding
and in charge.  They called the one sitting
or rolling from under the others. The
in the chair the “chair man.”  Today in
solution was a metal plate called a
business, we use the expression or title
“Monkey” with 16 round indentations.
“Chairman” or “Chairman of the Board.”
However, if this plate were made of
Personal hygiene left much room
iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to
for improvement.  As a result, many
it.  The solution to the rusting problem
women and men had developed acne
was to make “Brass Monkeys.” Few
scars by adulthood.  The women would
landlubbers realize that brass contracts
spread bee’s wax over their facial
much more and much faster than iron
skin to smooth out their complexions. 
when chilled. Consequently, when the
When they were speaking to each
temperature dropped too far, the brass
other, if a woman began to stare
indentations would shrink so much
at another woman’s face she was
that the iron cannonballs would come
told, “mind your own bee’s wax.” 
right off the monkey.  Thus, it was quite
Should the woman smile, the wax
literally, “Cold enough to freeze the balls
would crack, hence the term “crack
off a brass monkey.”  (All this time, you
a smile.”  In addition, when they sat
thought that was a rude expression,
too close to the fire, the wax
didn’t you.)
would melt . . . therefore, the
__expression
“losing
face.”
Ladies wore corsets, which would
lace up in the front.  A proper and
dignified woman, as in “straight
laced”. . . wore a tightly tied lace.
Common entertainment included
playing cards.  However, there was
a tax levied when purchasing playing
cards but only applicable to the “Ace
of Spades.”  To avoid paying the tax,
people would purchase 51 cards
instead. Yet, since most games require
52 cards, these people were thought
to be stupid or dumb because they
weren’t “playing with a full deck.”
Early politicians required feedback
from the public to determine what
the people considered important. 
Since there were no telephones, TV’s
or radios, the politicians sent their
assistants to local taverns, pubs,
and bars.  They were told to “go
sip some ale” and listen to people’s
conversations and political concerns. 
Many assistants were dispatched at
different times.  “You go sip here” and
“You go sip there.”  The two words
“go sip” were eventually combined
when referring to the local opinion
and, thus we have the term “gossip.”
At local taverns, pubs, and bars,
people drank from pint and quartsized containers. A bar maid’s job was
to keep an eye on the customers and
keep the drinks coming. She had to
pay close attention and remember
who was drinking in “pints” and who
was drinking in “quarts,” hence the
term “minding your “P’s and Q’s.”
One more: Bet you didn’t know this!
In the heyday of sailing ships, all war
ships and many freighters carried iron
cannons.  Those cannons fired round
iron cannon balls.  It was necessary to
keep a good supply near the cannon. 
However, how to prevent them from
GALVESTON ARTS CENTER ANNOUNCES
PRIZE WINNERS IN GLASS EXHIBITION
David Graeve, The Contradiction---Facts of the 20th Century---Birthday,
2007
Idea-eye glass lens, photo, aluminum, wood
*1st place Davis Ryan Glass Prize*
Galveston, TX—July 14, 2007—The
Galveston Arts Center is pleased
to announce the finalists and prize
winners of Texas Juried Glass 2,
the second state-wide exhibition to
focus exclusively on the use of glass
as an artistic medium. Participants
were selected by a panel of jurors
comprised of Jane Adlin, Associate
Curator, Department of 19th Century,
Modern and Contemporary Art at
The Metropolitan Museum of Art,
New York; Austin resident and
internationally-recognized glass
artist Damian Priour, recipient of the
2005 Davis/Ryan Prize in the first
Texas Juried Glass exhibition; and
Cindi Strauss, Curator, Modern and
Jennifer Barnds
Eve VII, 2007
Pate de verre glass and metal stand
Second Prize
Leigh Taylor Wyatt
Cupido, 2007
Blown glass
Third Prize
Contemporary Decorative Arts and
Design at The Museum of Fine Arts,
Houston.
At a reception honoring the
artists at the Arts Center on July 14,
2006, Houston-based artist David
Graeve was awarded the first place
Ryan/Davis Prize of $1,500 for his
piece titled The Contradiction—Facts
of the 20th Century—Birthday, 2007.
Second place went to Jennifer Barnds’
work Eve VII, and third place was
awarded to Cupido by Leigh Taylor
Wyatt. The jurors presented awards of
merit to Ellen Abbot and Marc Leva,
and Jacob “Luken” Sheafe. A curator’s
award of merit was given to Judy
Jensen and Debbie LeBlanc.
Artists living within the state of
Texas were invited to submit objects
that were either created entirely from
glass or pieces incorporating mixed
media, as long as the glass functioned
as an integral element in the overall
expressiveness of the work. The GAC
received 194 entries, from which
jurors chose 26 pieces for the final
exhibition. Advances in technology
and improvements in the varieties
of glass available have contributed
to growth and innovations within the
studio glass movement during the past
40 years. As a result, the exhibition
includes myriad styles and techniques
ranging from traditional blown, cast
or stained glass pieces, as well as
work created by more unconventional
methods that incorporate neon, lead
crystal, wood, metal and felt.
“The most exciting part of the
project for me is my involvement with
the jurors and their selection process,”
notes GAC’s curator Clint Willour.
“The jurors brought knowledge,
Cont. “Glass” page 56
Locomotive
&
Caboose Rides
Train Rides On
Our SP Diesel Switcher
Locomotive.
New Exhibits
Throughout
Museum
Every Saturday 11 am-1 pm
Galveston
Galveston Railrad
Railrad Museum
Museum
123
123 Rosenberg
Rosenberg -- Galveston
Galveston
e
t
a
r
b
ele
ins
C With Tra
Let us help you make your
child’s Birthday Celebration
one that will never be forgotten!
We offer
three different packages to
choose from!
(409) 765-5700
www.galvestonrrmuseum.com
For Information:
Museum
Open Daily
10am-4pm
Working
Scale Layouts &
Layout Tours
HO Layout with
Miniature TV Camera
Railroad China • Modeling Clinics in
Rail Cars • Special tours of 1930
Santa Fe Depot Station & Palace Cars
Directions: I-45 South to Galveston,
Go straight on Broadway,
Turn left on 26th St.,
The Museum is at the end of the street.
Free Parking
C
O
F
F
E
E
RON
LIMBOCK
Lone Star Rally Update
The big news is still kind of a secret
but we have met with a major auto
manufacturer and secured them as
Presenting sponsor for the 2007 Rally.
We just can’t tell you who until we
receive the signed contract. Special
thanks to Paula Ozymy from the City
Managers office for her assistance
with this important sponsor! She and I
met in Galveston and toured the
island with Officials from the Auto
company. After a wonderful
presentation about Galveston from
Paula and them seeing that we have a
strong partnership with our host City,
they made the decision to come on
board as our biggest sponsor! Count
on seeing a lot of cool vehicles in
Galveston that weekend plus some
great displays in every major venue! It
will be the perfect time to show off our
great city to a huge company
for future business and conventions!
More great news came this month in
the form of SUPERMOTO Racing! I’ve
bragged in the last couple of columns
about getting this National
Championship race but the news got
even better when Moody Gardens
agreed
to become the host of the event. The
AMA will build a beautiful track at
the Gardens. Most importantly, nearly
three hundred major race teams
from around the world will visit
Galveston for the first time. They will
practice and conduct clinics all week
then race on Friday and Saturday.
If you’ve never seen motorcycles up
close sliding through corners at
100mph, check out these races! The
races will be broadcast Nation-wide
on Speedvision. This will be a paid
admission event.
The Convention Center is the
feature of our other great news this
month!
The RV and Camping Show is sold
out! The Exotic and Erotic Car Show is
sold out! The Model Search and
Fashion show is becoming even
bigger than
we projected. We’ve added a cool
touch for the Lady Riders Conference.
After the conference the ladies will
ride on a special treasure hunt to
raise money for the Breast Cancer
Awareness Foundation. They will stop
at five locations on the island and
receive a cool souvenir from each
stop!
Our main Charity Ride for the
Stevens and Pruett Ranch for Children
and
Animals has been expanded to cover
five major markets. Last year, just
over 1400 bikes came from Houston
only. This year we expect 8400 from
Harley-Davidson dealerships in
Houston, Beaumont, Corpus Christi,
Austin, San Antonio, Boerne and
Gruene, Texas! Our goal is to give the
kids $100,000!
We’ve received only two (yes,2!)
calls from people wanting to work in a
beer booth. There’s got to be more
folks who want to earn some extra
dough! Email me at rl@lonestarrally.
com <mailto:[email protected]>.
It’s a lot of fun!!
Last but not least, on a personal note,
my family held my daughters
wedding reception at Moody Gardens
last weekend. I think those of us who
work in Galveston sometimes forget
how doggone fun our City is!
Our entire party enjoyed a
champagne water tour on the
Baywatch, cruised
the island compliments of Lighthouse
Parking, ate an incredible meal at
Willie G’s and danced the night away
at a fabulous party at the Moody
Gardens Convention Center. Nobody
asked me about the Rally, everything
went perfect and I want to thank all
involved for making Jessica’s
reception so special!
There’s too much more to write
about so I’ll save some for next month.
Check out our new web-site at www.
lonestarrally.com
See you at the Rally!
Ron
The Parrot
Loves
YOU!
MARSHA
MELLOW
Betrayal and the Naked Strangler
Contact Marsha at
[email protected]
Towards the end of July, while
watching some Gay & E or Court TV
program, I was hit with a total Wylie
Coyote genius scheme that was sure
to work. The whole program was
about those high school delinquents
who started the whole bum fight craze.
Their big mistake was that they did not
have their bums sign a waver, and now
are being sued by the very same bums
who are now living like the Beverly
Hillbillies in LA.
Over my Baileys with a splash
of coffee and cigarette breakfast, I
quickly drew up an ironclad contract. It
was fool proof. All of the money I would
make off of my bum fights DVD would
be staying in my Prada clutch. Besides
a contract that is signed with the $500
Mont Blanc pen that I lifted out of the
Queen’s purse would surely have
to stand up in court if things turned
unpleasant.
I called my 4’6” friend, Mark,
who sometimes does special numbers
with me in my show.
Convinced
him to take a day off from the candy
factory or toy making to come shoot
my video. Of course he tried to tell
me for the hundred and fifth time he
does not make chocolate or toys but
actually holds a high position in some
government agency. I told him that
I believed him, but my fingers were
crossed, and so he agreed to serve
as my tiny cinematographer. I felt with
Mark shooting the film from his angle
would give my DVD a certain artsy Indy
feel.
Finding the stars for my film
was not hard at all. We just drove down
to the Donut Castle. Where, as I like
to call them, the human pigeons hang
out every morning begging for spare
change, a kolaches, or money for a tall
boy. Standing right outside were three
perfect specimens, so perfect that they
could have been extras in one of the
Pirates of the Caribbean movies. After
a few moments of painful negotiations,
$10 and a swig from my flask scored
me my first stars. Unfortunately, when
we got to costumes I had to kiss each
of them on the cheek. Thank god for
the MAC High Tea lip color that acted
as a barrier.
All three were dressed in pink
spandex shorts with matching pink
feather boas wrapped around their
sun-tanned necks. They looked like
they could be a gay wrestling team for
the WWE Smack Down.
At some point things got
really ugly as the pinky trio started
actually fighting over the donut holes
some older woman dropped as she
was getting into her Buick. My Wylie
Coyote design turned into a police
code 53-d-640238 something or other.
Something about inciting a riot which
then turned into a 10-15m, prisoner in
custody/mental case. That happened
just after I started belting out the hit
from Dreamgirls “And I am telling you
I am not going…”
After being held up in a holding
cell for several hours I decided to
contact the mayor to let her know that
I feel the holding cells should be much
more comfortable. All that concrete
and steel is just not working.
I contacted my agent who is
now fired because he sent me the last
person I wanted to rescue me from the
chain gang, my dancing sister, Misty.
We call her the dancing sister because
she glides on air and waltzes into every
room she enters. She has made it her
life’s work to marry well and come out
of the divorce smelling like a rose. Her
greatest talent is that she never looses
an argument. She has truly mastered
the art of the Jedi mind trick, if there is
such a thing. Once she cha cha’d into
the courtroom and spoke to the judge.
I was being released into her custody
and being placed under house arrest
for one month. Parasite Hilton should
have had Misty in her corner.
On the ride to my house Misty
began her lecture on how that I have
once again let the family down. The
Bush’s won’t return our father’s calls
and mom is a laughing stock at the
country club after the spectacle I made
of myself at the White House.
“I hope you are happy, this is
by far the worst thing you have ever
done to bring shame on our family’s
name.” And in classic Misty fashion
she made the situation about her, “I
was in the middle of shopping for my
one year wedding anniversary.”
I snipped back, “What is the
big deal? Year one is paper.”
She fixed her lips before
speaking, pulled her CoCo Chanel
shades down her nose to peer over
them and told me, “I know, I’m giving
p a rro t�a d �to p �rig h t�p la c e m e n t

Cont. “Marsha” page 45
“Marsha” Cont.
“Crusty” Cont.
back to Mexico.”
look awful!” He said, “Man, that Daryl
shakes
the roof. I sat up and watched him all
night.”
The third night was Frank’s turn.
Frank was a big burly ex-football
player; a man’s man. The next
morning he came to breakfast bright
eyed
and bushy tailed. “Good morning,” he
said The other two couldn’t believe it!
He looked rested and wide awake.
They asked, “Man, what happened?”
 
He said, “Well, we got ready for
bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed,
patted
his ass and kissed him good night.
Daryl sat up and watched me all
night.”
(chg states for each paper)
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets
pulled over by a sheriff’s deputy. He
thinks that he is smarter than the
deputy because he is a lawyer from
New York and is certain that he has
a better education then any cop from
Florida. He decides to prove this to
himself and have some fun at the
Florida deputy’s expense!!
Deputy says,” License and
registration, please.” Lawyer says,
“What for? “Deputy says, “You didn’t
come to a complete stop at the
stop sign. “Lawyer says, “I slowed
down, and no one was coming.
“Deputy says, “You still didn’t come
to a complete stop. License and
registration, please. “Lawyer says,
“What’s the difference? “Deputy
says, “The difference is, you have
to come to complete stop, that’s the
law. License and registration, please
!”Lawyer says, “If you can show me
the legal difference between slow
down and stop, I’ll give you my license
and registration; and you give me the
ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t
give me the ticket.” Deputy says,
“Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir. “
The deputy takes out his nightstick
and starts beating the ever-loving crap
out of the lawyer and says, “Do you
want me to stop, or just slow down?”
Jose and Carlos are panhandling on
the street. Jose drives a Mercedes,
lives in a mortgage free house and
has a lot of money to spend.
Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars
a day. Carlos asks Jose how he can
bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills
every day.
Jose says, “Look at your sign. It
says: I have no work, a wife and 6
kids to support.”
Carlos looks at Jose’s sign. It reads,
“I only need another $10.00 to move
him divorce papers.”
When I got home the 2 “B’s”
Brandi and Blake were making their
way out of my house with a fistful of art
supplies and promises that they would
explain later. Misty continued to tell
me the errors of my ways. I ignored
her as I read the paper. To my horror I
discovered that the Naked Strangler is
now being upgraded to a serial killer.
The police should spend more time
chasing after this guy then bothering
me when I’m busy trying to seize myself
an Academy Award. Downed several
mojitos made with fresh mint that I had
gotten from my neighbor, Mr. Jameson,
the elderly man that moved in on the
other side of the 2 “B’s”.
Day 2 of house arrest –
Invited my gayest and greatest friend
Peter over hoping he might have the
knowhow to remove the damn ankle
monitor so that I could get out of the
house. After several failed attempts
we continued to make mojitos with the
fresh supply of mint that Mr. Jameson
had delivered earlier that morning.
As we drank and giggled we laughed
over what we would do if the Naked
Strangler approached us.
Fun for a while but then on to
our favorite game where we make the
other choose who they would sleep
with if they had too from a choice of two
undesirables. Undesirables whom no
one in his or her right mind would want
to sleep with.
Misty just rolled her
overly big brown eyes as she discussed
her prenuptial agreement and pending
divorce with her lawyer before making
her way off to my dressing room.
Somewhere between General
Hospital and Oprah, Satan’s seeds
showed up. The 2 B’s just had to show
me their new school clothes. Now
I know that I had drunk my breakfast
and lunch but all of their outfits were
the same, khaki pants with dull navy
polo’s. They asked Peter and I what
our school uniforms looked like.
“Do you know what I used to
wear, Guess.”
The 2 blond devils looked
at each other confused and Brandi
answered for them, “What?”
“Guess.”
“What?”
Misty had been listening from
the other room and Bob Fosse’d her
way out to where we were all gathered
wearing my pink wig and dressed up like
a Cabaret Barbie Doll. “Dear Marsha is
more than likely part of the blame as to
why school kids have to wear uniforms
because she would make fun of the
less fortunate who had to buy their
school clothes at Wieners.”
Peter got a sad look on his
face and told the story of how he once
bought a belt and a silk shirt from the
now defunct store.
Misty informed him that it was
more that likely not silk but some rag
that a three year old had sewn in some
third world country. That remark made
him even sadder and he decided to go
home to his boyfriend who would be
getting off from work soon
Misty told the 2”B’s” to go get
in the car and she would drop them off
at their meeting on her way to rehearse
for my show that she would be doing
tonight. She said it would be rude to let
my fans down even if it was only 3.
Alone again I was about to
fetch myself a bath when there was
a knock at the door. To my surprise it
was Mr. Jameson, who was holding my
mail and some more fresh mint. He
looked a little sad so I invited him in.
I thanked him for the mint and went to
put it away in the kitchen. He called
out making comments about the heat,
and how if I would have been around
in his day I could have given Marilyn
a run for her money. I found it was
odd that he wanted to know if I was all
alone. Before making the 2 of us fresh
mojitos I fumbled through my mail bill, fan mail, letter from my adopted
3rd worlder, Meyoung, and then to my
dismay I was being invited to an art
opening at the Barking Frog, which
would be featuring the new works by
art prodigies Brandi and Blake, the 2
“B’s”. Filled with anger at the betrayal
of the 2 satanic monsters I ran into
the living room where I quickly lost my
breath.
Standing before me in all of his
nakedness was Mr. Jameson clutching
what looked like some old rope.
Now I am not an overly religious
person but the only words that really fit
in this situation are “Oh my God!”
Of course I checked out the
old guy’s package as I ran past him
and out the front door where I nearly
knocked over a stranger who was
walking by. Turns out it was no stranger
at all, it was the mysterious man from
Christmas, the guy who helped clean
up the 2 “B’s” Christmas decorations
after they had been vandalized by a
lunatic. I’m now thinking that lunatic
might have been Mr. Jameson. After
a few moments of trying to catch my
breath Randall tells me the police will
never buy the story and that I should
run away with him to Arkansas, so I
did…
WHAT WOULD OPRAH DO
By Shihas Mi Famale, Cosmos and Oprah Correspondent
With the success of her book
clubs, Oprah Winfrey has ventured
into the arena of television review.
According to inside sources fearful
for their lives, Oprah has the power
to create a sensation with just a
mention on her show. Executives
associated with Oprah decided to tap
into the influence of her review power
and branch into a whole new media:
television.
“Coincidentally, this is the field
she currently works,” said Oprah’s
manager, Christian Yahweh. And who
is Oprah plugging? Yes, you guessed
it: The Oprah Winfrey Show.
With Oprah’s stamp of
approval, the show now expects
to quadruple its audience. “We’ve
learned in the past nothing increases
business like the Oprah seal, so we
applied it to our own show, and just
as all those middling books found
consumers who never tuned into our
show, we expect to generate viewers
who’ve never watched before, solely
because Oprah says it is worth
watching.
When asked if Oprah will
put her mark of approval on any
other television program, Yahweh
responded, “We’ll see if Doctor Phil
continues to play ball or not. After all,
it’s not like Napoleon crowned two
people king, right? Someone has to be
Josephine or Luxenburg or whatever
the analogy is.”
Regardless, the Oprah seal
of approval is slated to appear in the
TV Guide this Spring. In addition,
Comcast will provide customers with
a removable Oprah decal to apply
directly to the TV screen for when her
show is on.
Attention Business Owners:
Accept credit cards without the high bank rates and fees.
If need be, Oprah will act
as if she enjoys lesser
known people in an effort to
make them famous. (photo
smuggled out by Jon Dough)
MEMBER
Ladies, You Aren't Ready for Summer…
Until You Have Made a Visit to
™
Adorable & Affordable
Shoes and Accessories
Located on the Historic Strand,
Galveston Shoe Shopping Seven Days a Week
24th & Strand • 409-762-2727
BOLIVAR PENINSULA CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
COMMUNITY EVENTS – AUGUST 2007
August 7, 2007
B.P.C of C. GENERAL MEMBERSHIP MEETING will be held on Tuesday, August 7th
at 7:00 p.m. at the Joe Faggard Community Center located at 1750 Hwy 87 in Crystal
Beach. All are invited and welcome to attend. We’ll be discussing local issues and
upcoming events. Our guest speaker will be Barbara Prenger of Bolivar’s Art Gallery &
Museum, The Bolivar Peninsula Cultural Foundation. Located at 343 Hwy 87, across
from Crenshaw School in Crystal Beach, the Gallery displays works of local artists
both professional and primitive, including the work of Resident artist, Paul Young. The
Museum hosts displays including pictures, documents, and artifacts that tell the story
of the unique history of the Bolivar Peninsula. For more information on the Bolivar Peninsula Cultural Foundation, please visit www.bolivarfoundation.com. Call the Chamber
at 684-5940 for info.
Many Thanks!!
Thank you to our many sponsors for “Light up the Nite 2007.” We had a good turnout
and somehow managed to dodge the rain. Overall, it was a great success. Special
thanks to Anne Willis and David Hoelzer and his crew, including the display artists. We
could not have pulled it off without you. Can’t wait till next year for an even bigger and
better July 4th celebration!
Coming in September….. Peninsula Market Day is back!
Calling All Vendors!
Galveston Island’s Yoga Community Resource
Studio & Store
www.theyogahaven.net
2507 Market Street, Galveston, TX 77550
{p} 409.770.9995
Bolivar Peninsula Chamber of Commerce Presents Labor Day Weekend
Gregory Park at Crystal Beach Saturday, Sept. 1st 10AM – 3PM
Food and Drinks, Free Admission, Parking: $2.00
Booth Spaces Start at $30.00 No Utilities Provided.
Call Chamber For More Info.
The proceeds from this event fund the Chamber of Commerce and its work in the
Community for the entire year. Please come on down, have lots of fun and show your
support for the Bolivar Peninsula!
Also in September…Texas Adopt-A-Beach Clean-Up will be held on Saturday, Sept.15th
from 9 a.m. to Noon. Local Coordinators Susan Free and Joyce Kennedy, will be set up
in the parking lot of the Joe Faggard Community Center, 1750 Hwy 87 in Crystal Beach,
where volunteers will sign in and receive their supplies for the clean-up. A Free Hot Dog
lunch for our Volunteers will be provided at the pavilion by the Community Center following the clean-up. All are invited to participate! Your help is greatly appreciated!!
Coming Soon!! Watch for the Chamber’s new and improved website.
Galveston Antique Dealers
Andrea’s Antiques
2215 Post Office
409.763.6295
Antique’s on Postoffice
2113 Postoffice
409.762.3400
[email protected]
Antiques Warehouse
426 25th Street
409.762.8620
409.765.6443
[email protected]
409.770.0772
Gingerbread House
2901 Broadway
409.763.8151
Simpson’s on the Strand
2413 Strand
409.762.1001
[email protected]
Hendley Market
2010 Strand
409.762.2610
[email protected]
Somewhere In Time
124 20th Street
409.762.1094
Big House Antiques
2212 Mechanic
409.762.0559
[email protected]
La Maison Rouge
418 22nd Street
409.763.0717
Carriage House Clock Shoppe
314A 15th Street
409.770.0852
[email protected]
Nautical Antiques & Decor
621 23rd Street
409.621.2829
[email protected]
Collector’s Gallery
2222 Postoffice
On Broadway Antiques
2607 Broadway
The Emporium at Eiband’s
2201 Postoffice
409.515.1517
[email protected]
Yesterday’s Best
120 20th Street
409.765.1419
[email protected]
Vic’s Estate and Fine Jewelry
2413 Market
409.762.5792
[email protected]
www.AntiqueGalveston.com
o
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Flor
How Odd
John
BOSTOCK
   Well I have been cast in another
play “The Odd Couple” at the Strand
Theatre. Yes that’s right I am quite
odd so I don’t have to act much! That
started me thinking about how there
are so many odd things in this world
and outside it.
Did you know that our year is not just
365 days long, it is actually 365.3 days
that is why we have to add an extra
day every 4 years (leap year)? We are
traveling around the sun at 66,600 mph
and we spin at about 1,000 mph so for
half the day we are going at 65,600
mph and the other half at 67,600 mph,
wow that’s fast.
But we are not the fastest, the closer
to the sun you are the faster you have
to orbit to keep from spiraling into the
sun. So Venus is orbiting at 78,300 mph
and Mercury is orbiting at a staggering
107,000 mph. Poor old Pluto, our explanet is plodding along at just 10,600
mph.
Distance also has another problem,
heat. The hottest planet is Venus,
although not the closest to the sun, it
rotates at such a slow speed that the
surface has no chance of cooling down
and it is suffering from runaway global
warming so it is a massive 8600F with
an air pressure 92 times higher than
ours, And we complain about the heat
in Galveston in the summer.
The coldest is Neptune at -3640F.
It takes the light and heat of the sun
almost 4 hours to reach the planet.
Even our little neighbour Mars is -500F,
about as cold as it gets in Alaska and
that is on a good day.
The Earth is the only planet in our
solar system with levels of oxygen in
the atmosphere. Mercury does have
some but the atmosphere there is so
thin and minute it may as well not be
there. 
Jupiter, ah yes, that beautiful planet
Jupiter with the most violent massive
storms you could ever find, winds that
top 1,000 mph in the upper atmosphere.
A planet that is about 300 times larger
than Earth made of gas with no
boundary between the atmosphere and
the planet, if it had been much bigger it
could have become a sun. How would
that be, two suns in our sky?
With its 16 moons it is almost a mini
solar system. If Jupiter had become a
sun then its moon Europa would be
hotter and the ice would melt possibly
making a mini Earth.
There are many theories about life on
Europa, many recent discoveries point
to the very real chance of life under the
ice. What sort of life remains a mystery
until we explore further, maybe it is
intelligent life – I hope so because
there isn’t any here on Earth. 
They have just discovered the 60th
moon orbiting the planet Saturn; just
think about it, 60 moons and we have
just one.
Saturn is quite an odd planet really,
100 times bigger than the Earth, and
nearly 10 times further away from the
Sun. with those beautiful rings that are 
really only made up of fragments of
rock and dust.
It takes Saturn 29 ½ years to orbit
the sun but less than 9 hours to rotate
on its axis, so it is spinning at a much
higher speed than the Earth (about 22
times faster) although it’s gravity is not
much different from ours.
Saturn is a gas giant, in other words,
there is nothing solid to stand on, if you
were to land on the planet you would
just go through the gas planet until you
were crushed by the pressure. It is also
very cold, about -319 0F so you really
wouldn’t want to go there.
It takes 1 ¼ hours for the light of the
sun to reach it – only takes 7 ¾ minutes
for the light to reach us.  
When I was at school we used to giggle
about the name of the planet Uranus
because it used to be pronounced “urain-us” but they took all the fun out of
it by changing the pronunciation to “urin-us” (childish giggle).
You see we scientists can’t leave
anything alone, change names, demote
planets (Pluto), destroy our perception
of Venus as a livable sister planet, etc.
Perhaps we were better off with our
romantic view of the sky.   
John is an Englishman living in
Galveston and among other things,
has a PhD in Astrophysics, is an Actor,
comedian, musician, Freelance writer,
Ordained Minister, Notary Public,  etc.  
Gayle D. Adams, LMT
#MT048217
15800 Galveston Rd., Apt. #1617
Webster, TX 77598
Phone: 281-480-7763 Cell: 281-989-3402
Email: [email protected] ACMT Certified
Schoenmann
Produce Co.
Chelle Godsey
713-923-2728
Distributor
of
[email protected]
Island Life
Anita Reno, Sara Woodson and Bryan Gnade
having a blast at Murphy’s Irish Pub
Coral Proctor and Jenny Cornwell are all
smiles at Tsunami
GHF Executive Director Dwayne Jones
and Mayor Thomas at the awards
ceremony for Art on the Spot
Mark Miller, Travis Stirman, Coleton
Stirman enjoy live music at Yagas
Lee, Donna, Frank and Ted Mencacci and Beth
Hockett have some family fun at Yagas
Monica Martinez
and Jackie Silva
hanging out at
Murphy’s Irish Pub
Realtor Class
Felicia & John Botello, Cheyenne &
Lisa Mata, and Sylvia & Dave
Hernandez have a couple’s night out at
Tsunami
“JINGLE JAM” AT
MOODY GARDENS
TO RAISE FUNDS FOR COMMUNITY
With the success of the inaugural
Lone Star Triathlon Festival at Moody
Gardens this past March, Endorfun
Sports and Moody Gardens are
teaming up again for a fundraiser
event on November 10th. The “Jingle
Jam” will be a family event to raise
funds for a community project in
Galveston. A single entry fee will
include a full day of family activities,
including an Adventure Race, the
“Festival of Lights”, ice skating under
the big tent, and photos with Santa.
According to Endorfun Sports owner
and Race Director, Keith Jordan, the
event is their gift to the Galveston
community. “Galveston is not just
a great place to hold a race – it is
a vibrant community, full of terrific
people, and we want to be part of its
development, and its future. “
Moody Gardens is opening the
“Festival of Lights” a week early,
specifically for the event. Those
taking part in the festivities will be the
first to experience the 2007 display.
Moody Gardens staff and volunteers
will also be instrumental in executing
the family adventure race, which is
still under development. Similar to
the “Amazing Race”, but on a smaller
scale, the family adventure race
will include challenging tasks and
clues, taking each team through the
pyramids and Palm Beach before
reaching the finish line. “It will be a
great kick-off to the holiday season,
and a wonderful way for families to
spend time together”, says Jordan.
For more information about “Jingle
Jam”, e-mail keith@endorfunsports.
com.
Plans are already under way for the
2008 Lone Star Triathlon Festival at
Moody Gardens, set for March 28-30th.
The event hosted over 1,850 athletes
its first year, and is expected to draw
over 2,000 athletes from across the
country in 2008.
“Glass” Cont.
enthusiasm, and professionalism
with them and infused those qualities
into the selection process. Watching
them sort through hundreds of slide
and digital images to come up with
a cohesive, representative—and,
most of all—high-quality exhibition
was a treat for me. Seeing the care
and concern given each entry—the
intelligent discussions, the considerate
compromises and concessions
necessary for a group decision was
equally rewarding to me. The result
of their outstanding efforts is an
exhibition showcasing the best and
brightest talent producing art with
glass as a major component. In a
state that produces great art on a
continuing basis, this exhibition holds
its own with any other of which I’m
aware.”
Generous support of Texas
Juried Glass 2 has been provided
by Fran and Neil Ryan, and the Art
Alliance for Contemporary Glass.
Funding for Galveston Arts Center
programs is provided by the National
Endowment for the Arts, Texas
Commission on the Arts, the City of
Galveston Park Board of Trustees
through Hotel/Motel tax funds,
foundations, corporations including
Target Stores, generous community
support, volunteers and an active
membership.
“Bar” Cont.
Schutte’s Corner
(409) 763-8111 801 Post Office St
Seaside Bistro
(409) 744-1447 11128 Termini San Luis
Pas
Shelly’s Steaks & Seafood
(409) 737-5451 17515 Termini San Luis
Pas
Sonic Drive-In Restaurant
(409) 762-6223 2927 Broadway St
Sky Bar
2107 Post Office St (409) 621-4759
Sonny’s Place
(409) 763-9602 1206 19th St
Stork Club
2101 Postoffice St (409) 750-9136
Subway Sandwich
(409) 744-3370 2302 61st St
Subway Sandwiches
(409) 762-8280 2521 Broadway St
Subway Sandwiches & Salads
(409) 762-7827 4908 Seawall Blvd
Sunflower Bakery
(409) 763-5500 512 14th St
Taco Bell
(409) 740-1616 5701 Broadway St
Taco Cabana
(409) 740-1316 2729 61st St
Taco House Restaurant
(409) 762-5777 5001 Broadway St
The Cajun Greek Restaurant
(409) 744-7041 2226 61st St
The Donut Shoppe
(409) 762-9344 4917 Broadway St
The Lounge
(409) 763-1000 2410 Strand
The Spot
(409) 621-5237 3204 Seawall Blvd
The Waterman
(409) 632-0203 14302 Stewart Rd
Tortuga Coastal Cantina
(409) 741-5000 6010 Seawall Blvd
Waffle House
(409) 741-9323 2825 61st St
Waterman Seafood Restaurant
(409) 737-5824 14302 Stewart Rd
Waterwall Restaurant
(409) 765-6787 2110 Strand St
Wendy’s Old Fashioned Hamburgers
(409) 762-8195 2328 Seawall Blvd
West Bay Marina Restaurant
(409) 737-5151 21706 Burnet Dr
Western Fried Chicken
(409) 762-5116 2415 Avenue P
Whataburger Restaurants
(409) 762-7622 528 University Blvd
Yaga’s Tropical Cafe Club
(409) 762-6676 2314 Strand St
The Parrot
Galveston Real Estate Guide
AUGUST 2007
The Brownstones on Postoffice
Unparalleled Living for the Discerning Buyer
Completion in Fall 2007
rentals & property management-Lofts-beach homes-historical homes-commercial
The Brownstones
on Postoffice
Craig K. Brown Development and
HomeLife Builders are proud to
announce an exciting new project that
offers a new standard for Downtown
living. Craig Brown stated, “ My goal
is to provide the Downtown area with
a unique living style that provided
amenities not readily found in current
Downtown residences while honoring
the architectural ambiance of some of
the oldest Downtown structures”. Many
styles were considered, but after careful
review with David Watson Architects
the Federalist style was chosen, which
is the style of some of Galveston’s
oldest commercial buildings.
These 6 single family Brownstones
designed by David Watson Architects
offer 3 bedroom 2 1/2 baths with
custom kitchens and a 480 square foot
bonus room above the private 2 car
garages, ready for a studio, office, or
separate living quarters. Emphasis is
placed on outdoor living with personal
New Orleans style courtyards and
spacious balconies overlooking historic
Postoffice Street. The Brownstones
are located on the land that originally
was the site of the Fraternal Order of
the Eagles Lodge which dates back
prior to the 1900 Storm. Just down the
block from the Grand Opera House,
Custom’s House and the Postoffice
Arts and Entertainment District the
Brownstones provide residential privacy
within walking distance to some of the
best restaurants and entertainment the
Island has to offer.
Each home offers the latest in
custom interior design with hardwood
floors, stone surfaced counter tops and
designer kitchens and baths.
Information on pre-construction
pricing and floor plans are available by
calling 409-762-0139.
www.
galvestonparrot
com
CROWN TEAM
TEXAS
A “Nothing Like It” Developer
The deepest and largest private boat slips
on the Texas Gulf Coast
Full concrete bulkheads
State-of-the-art underground utilities
Strict architectural and design guidelines
Built to IBHS “Fortified” standards with
concrete pilings twenty feet above the slab
Paved roads, swimming pool, lake, and
under-ground utilities
Homes complete with lot range from
$109,900 to $225,900.
Elevated walking and beach cart paths
Manicured beaches
Pool with cabanas and elevated deck
Built to IBHS storm resistant “Fortified”
standards
www.CrownTeamTexas.com
J . T.

PROCTOR
DAVID WEEKLEY HOMES BUILDS
PICTURESQUE HOMES IN GALVESTON
So you’re in the market for a new
home and decide it’s time to take
the plunge. You do your homework,
compare mortgage rates, read up on
what to seek in a quality builder and
head out to tour some communities.
But have you given enough thought to
your own individual style and tastes?
Today’s home is so much more than
a functional area where we eat, sleep
and store our clothes. Today’s home
is a gathering place, a safe haven and
an escape from the stresses of busy
schedules. And that’s why it should
look and feel like a reflection of you.
Personalization and expression of
individuality is more important than
ever before, keeping home builders
searching for more ways to cater to the
needs of individual buyers.
And David Weekley Homes has
the distinct pleasure of offering our
homes to the City of Galveston without
disrupting the architectural integrity of
the community. David Weekley’s Build
on Your Lot program, buyers have the
opportunity to purchase a home that
looks like the traditional Galveston
architecture, with better use of space
and energy efficiency to lower your
bills.
David Weekley Homes offers 11
coastal specific plans built on pilings.
Prices start in the low $100,000s with
square footage ranging from 1,200 to
3,000 square feet. The plans feature
two and three-story homes, masters
both up and down, and first floor decks
off of the living area. You will be able
to personalize your home by choosing
from hundreds of designer options
and thousands of decorator selections
including metal roofs and elevators.
At David Weekley Homes, we
understand that purchasing a home
can be one of the most rewarding
and self-fulfilling experiences anyone
buying a home undertakes. It also
can be one of the most complex
and frustrating. Because of this, we
would like to offer you a FREE copy
of the book “How to Buy a Home
Without Getting Hammered” by David
M. Weekley. This self-help book is
written in a clear and easily readable
format and covers a variety of topics,
ranging from neighborhood and home
selection, financing, design secrets to
hidden costs of which buyers need to
make themselves aware. To receive
your free copy, just stop by the Sales
Office or call me.
And, right now David Weekley Homes
is thanking its customers with a special
offer the company traditionally reserves
for its team members - employee
pricing on all David Weekley homes.
Home buyers can visit our sales office
on the island to take advantage of
employee pricing on all Weekley homes
purchased May 26, 2007, through
August 31, 2007.
For more information about David
Weekley Homes in the Galveston area
and Bay area, contact JT Proctor at
281/731-0000, or email at JProctor@
dwhomes.com.
Visit us at 2316
Market St. across from Moody Bank, or
simply visit www.davidweekleyhomes.
com, Houston, Build on Your Lot,
Southeast Territory.
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
(800) 210-9950
(409) 938-8000
CEL 409.739.1299
FAX 409.935.2563
money can
indeed
buy happiness.
PRE-CONSTRUCTION PRICING, $439,000 - $539,000
EVERYTHING YOU DESIRE.
Ideally situated behind the Galveston seawall, Cove View is an upscale,
gated community of 80 luxury townhomes offering the security and amenities
you seek.
Gorgeous Mediterranean style architecture and lush tropical landscaping
compliment the luxurious island lifestyle of Cove View. Leave all your cares
behind as Cove View is a maintenance free community with features designed
to make your life simply fabulous and fabulously simple.
Perfect for full-time residents, golfers, 2nd homebuyers and retirees.
• Spectacular lakeside views
• Lavish, resort-style pool
• Private balconies (pergolas)
• Spacious floor plans
• Elevator ready
• 2-car garage
RESERVATIONS NOW BEING ACCEPTED
Barefoot Properties, 409-741-8000 or 888-744-COVE(2683)
CoveViewTownhomes.com
Available
FREE
At More Than
900
Locations
In
Galveston
Bay Area
Houston
Dallas
Downtown Real Estate
UPDATE
By M.J. Naschke
Count a home run for Eibands
Luxury Condominiums, now
100% sold. New residents are
enjoying the Postoffice lifestyle
and living on the Island. Boasting
an indoor pool with a magnificent
mural by hometown muralist,
Raz, developer Jerome Karam
commissioned Raz to continue
his fantasy theme throughout
the halls on all floors and it is
a spectacular sight! Interior
common areas have been
beautifully appointed by Pamela
Passino owner of The Emporium
at Eibands located on the first
floor.
El Cortez Villas will be ready
for residents to move in midOctober and sales are off to
a brisk start with the first sale
being a 2 bedroom one bath
unit. Starting at $148,000, and
featuring beautiful Spanish
architecture and ambiance
throughout, each unit comes
complete with a private garage.
There is a great deal of interest
in this historic property and
the price is right. Developer
Ken Stemmer has a winner here:
landscaped pool and courtyard
combined with quality construction at
a reasonable price makes this a prime
property that won’t be on the market
long. Call now if you are interested, or
just go take a tour if you want to see an
extraordinary property. Agents welcome.
Jackson Square Luxury Condos, 612
21st St., is closing in on the final touches.
More than half sold, each unit is unique in
floor plans and city views. Scheduled for
late summer closings, the new residents
are from different parts of the United
States and all want to claim Galveston
Island as their new home. Convenient
to everything, Jackson Square is a great
place to live. Security access, elevator,
first floor units, swimming pool, two story
courtyard, spa and community party
room, arts, restaurants, theaters, library,
shopping and trolley access are resident
amenities.
M.J. Naschke Public Relations
202 Rosenberg Avenue, Suite 102
Galveston, Texas 77550
(409) 762-3930 Fax (409) 762-6467
Cell (409) 771-4373
Own paradise.
Or, at least 3,000 square-feet of it.
Barefoot Properties specializes in
finding upscale beach or bay homes
or lots that provide easy access to the
many amenities found in and around
Galveston Island.
Discover why we’re your most valuable
resource on the Gulf Coast by calling
409.632.9770 today.
Coming Soon:
Galveston’s hottest new property,
Cove View Townhomes, is now accepting
reservations. To inquire, call us or visit
CoveViewTownhomes.com today.
4099 Pirates’ Beach, Galveston, TX 77554
•
409.632.9770
•
barefootgalveston.com

real estate guide - lots of great jokes- humor

Transcription

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