You Don`t Have to be a `Mean Girl`
Transcription
You Don`t Have to be a `Mean Girl`
You Don’t Have to be a ‘Mean Girl’: Helping School Age Girls with Relational Aggression Presenter: Felicia N. Shepherd M. Ed Overview Relational Aggression is a growing concern in schools. One reason for this ongoing problem is because school age girls base relationships on outward appearances instead i t d off taking t ki the th time ti to get to know one another. Texas School Counselor’s Conference Austin, Texas February 12, 2013 Goals & Objectives • Examine various forms of relational aggression • Provide methods to assist ggirls in finding similarities amongst each other • Provide strategies in conflict resolution What is R. A? Relational Aggression refers to behaviors that harm others through damaging their relationships, feelings, of acceptance, inclusion, in social groups, and friendships. Merrell, K. W. (2006). Relational aggression in children and adolescents: A review with implications for school settings. Psychology in the schools, 43(3), 345. •Exclusion •Malicious gossip and rumor spreading •Rolling o go one’s e s eyes •Writing notes about someone •Cyberbullying •Stealing one’s friends or “boyfriend” •Threatening to withdraw friendship •Name calling 1. The Queen Bee: Through a combination of charisma, force, money, looks, will and manipulation, this girl reigns supreme over the other girls and weakens their friendships with others, thereby strengthening her own power and influence. 2 The Side Kick: She notices everything about 2. the Queen Bee, because she wants to be her. She will do everything the Queen Bee says. The Queen Bee, as her best friend, makes her feel popular and included. 3. The Floater: She has friends in different groups and can move freely among them. She has influence over other girls but doesn't use it to make them feel bad. Wiseman, R. (2002). Queen Bees and Wannabes - Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence . Three Rivers Press, New York. 1 4. The Torn Bystander: She's constantly conflicted about doing the right thing and her allegiance to the clique. As a result, she's the one most likely to be caught in the middle of a conflict between two girls or two groups of girls. 5. The Pleaser/Wannabe/Messenger: She will do anything to be in the good graces of the Queen Bee and the Sidekick. When two powerful girls, or two powerful groups of girls, are in a fight, she is the go-between. However, the other girls eventually turn on her as well. She'll enthusiastically back them up no matter what. She can't tell the difference between what she wants and what the group wants. APPLICATION You are Now 10 years Old!!! Wiseman, R. (2002). Queen Bees and Wannabes - Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence . Three Rivers Press, New York. PRE-SURVEY • Your Subtopics Go Here Complete prior to first session. Teachers allow students to use computer in the classroom. Resources: www.surveymonkey.com or www.freeonlinesurveys.com SESSION 1”FORMING” INTRODUCTION • • • • • Girls are secretive? Girls destroy your from the inside? Girls are manipulative? p Girls are more evil than boys? Girls target you where they know you’re weakest? • Girls do a lot behind each other’s backs? • Girls plan and premeditate? 5 Minutes Introduction of Program, establish “sisterly” rules (Ball & Fannie Rule), and meet the group 25 Minutes •Girls decorate their journal (provide materials) •Girl Survey, open dialogue on answer choices as they are creating their journals 10 Minutes- Wrap Up & Journal Writing (selected topic) 2 •In avoiding being a “mean girl” today we…. •What is cool about being a girl? •What makes being a girl hard? •FESS UP! (I ____________ to another girl BUT I made things right when I _________) Note: Students have to explain in detail what bad decision they made and how they made the situation right. SESSION 2-FORMING “What Girl are You?” Note: Journals remain in the counselor’s office-Give back to students to keep permanently after the termination stage. 2 Minutes “Sisterly” rule reminder, brief discussion of previous session 10 Minutes “The Clique” Discussion-discuss the roles with the girls 15 Minutes View Episode 1-Stop Bulling Now Team Up-Identify the “players”, report out 3 Minutes Introduce “Declaration to Myself” 10 Minutes- Wrap Up & Journal Writing (selected topic) SESSION 3-CONFLICT STAGE “Getting to the Real” www.stopbullying.gov 2 Minutes “Sisterly” rule reminder, brief discussion of previous session 15 Minutes Handout- “A True Friend..” worksheet Each girl will complete the worksheet & invite g them to share their rankings 6 Minutes View Episode 10-Stop Bulling Now “Are they really your friend?” -identify the good & bad qualities in the video 2 Minutes “Declaration to Myself”-Girls pull from the jar and say their declaration with confidence 10 Minutes- Wrap Up & Journal Writing (selected topic) 3 Taylor, J.V. (2008). Salvaging Sisterhood. YouthLight, Inc. Chapin, SC. SESSION 4-COHENSION “Building Each Other UP” www.stopbullying.gov 2 Minutes “Sisterly” rule reminder, brief discussion on previous session • Your Subtopics Go Here 5 Minutes Find Commonalities-student will complete “So You Think You Know Me? Worksheet 20 Minutes Share out to find what each other have in common. What did you learn about someone that you didn’t know? 3 Minutes Introduce “Declaration to Myself” 10 Minutes- Wrap Up & Journal Writing (selected topic) SESSION 5INTERDEPENDENCE “Mean Girls Degrade, Nice Girls Discuss” Taylor, J.V. (2008). Salvaging Sisterhood. YouthLight, Inc. Chapin, SC. 4 2 Minutes “Sisterly” rule reminder, brief discussion of previous session • Your Subtopics Go Here 10 Minutes Conflict Resolution Introduce-QUEEN 15 Minutes Episode 12 Stop Bullying Now Girls will pair up to discuss & incorporate “QUEEN”. 3 Minutes Introduce “Declaration to Myself” 10 Minutes- Wrap Up & Journal Writing (selected topic) Carolyn Strong-“Black Girl Blues” Webinar SESSION 6-TERMINATION “Sisters United” www.stopbullying.gov 2 Minutes “Sisterly” rule reminder, brief discussion of previous session • Your Subtopics Go Here 20 Minutes Conflict Resolution Role Play-Scenarios given Girls will pair first, and then select their scenario. Use “QUEEN”. Report out 3 Minutes Introduce “Declaration to Myself” 10 Minutes- Wrap Up, INOK Pledge, & Journal Writing (selected topic) Taylor, J.V. (2008). Salvaging Sisterhood. YouthLight, Inc. Chapin, SC. 5 Follow Up with the group for lunch within 2 weeks following termination THE CAST! Felicia N. Shepherd M. Ed President FiNeSse Consulting, LLC 972-638-SHEP (7437) [email protected] 6